Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 30 : This is Not a Good Episode

Episode Date: September 18, 2019

You can hear children screaming during this episode but it was nothing to do with us.......wink wink.

Brian and Jane's back Back again, back again Back still in my house In your gaff, in your gaff, in Dundalk And hopefully this episode Would be a little less racial Yes, because the last one We got very racial

It did get very racial Yeah, yeah All in good fun guys We're not There's something about like You know You just get too excited You know

That's the thing We are bad for each other In that way We get carried away And we kind of bring out The worst and best In each other We're going to get shut down

Oh yeah Well kind of isn't that what we want though The thing is there genuinely isn't like Because I know some people Well a lot of people actually Well everyone I know Who will be racist And it's like ah

Isn't that funny But like we at least Look if I have one defence We might be causing harm But we're too dumb to realise Like we think we're having fun And like that's coming from privilege But also we feel like

I feel like we're doing good here Yeah so much and I feel I always feel like we're on the right side now we could be on the wrong side but we think we're on the right side well there's no hate behind it

it's almost like if you think someone's a criminal and you shoot them that's true it's okay it's okay like because you know your neighborhood watch and you know there I go again like

well do you like I think free speech is like privacy it'll go and people don't really care and it's just becoming an issue really well you say that but then i think there is sort of a there you know the tide is kind of turning on this reactionary cancel culture people are getting more annoyed with it good example is the rotten tomatoes thing of dave chapelle where his critique the critics vote was zero

percent but the audience vote was 90 percent like there are okay if you're like a happy well adjusted person you're probably not paying attention to it but if you're freaks like us you're like, well, I should be allowed to make the jokes I want and you get on and you rant about it on the internet. But they're all like 4chan kids. I know kids like that. They grew up in 4chan. Their whole thing is like, I'm going to go to Tesco and say something racist. That's funny. That'll show them. Then they go home and they like watch weird beheading videos and they make you watching.

Like, isn't that funny? And you're like, I'm trying to sleep. Why aren't you hard? You freak. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Then he kills a mouse. brings it back to life like the Green Mile I wish I was friends with him I'd be more fun

than my 4chan freak but yeah I don't know free speech I will say though I know about free speech too much I don't want to be real Gemma Doherty about it That's the thing with these You know Gemma Doherty?

I know her yeah She's a real like right wing conspiracy So let's just say there's a spectrum And on one end of the spectrum There's like Bosco And the other end of the spectrum is Jem O'Dardy. From like completely

everyone loves Bosco to everyone hates Gemo Doherty with good reason and we're on that spectrum we are very close to Gemo Doherty like very very close

right beside Yeah we're like We're almost shifting Like The weird tree way And no one wants to see Well like I feel like we're better than her

Oh yeah But that's the thing I feel like we're better than her And everyone else Strongly can not see the difference No no outside Google right now. Right. Oh, what is her... Protest, because they shut down some of our

videos where she's like, fucking kill him a... No, she was just the usual kind of bull, like, shit of, like, if immigrants move into like somewhere in Longford, it's going to ruin Longford. Even though, like, have you seen Longford? If you could put a Chinatown in there, like, that would be so much better. Forget it, Charlie.

It's Longford. Like, in Longford, like, it's going to be all these, like, Muslim people. Yeah. And Longford people won't like that because it's like that's not incest then if I have sexed

someone from different country that's not incest and that's disgusting to me I only like incest and from Longford yeah I hope we don't have any listeners from Longford

uh we probably do yeah but like Dave Chappelle he's like right in the middle yeah well dependent on me that's thing in my opinion

yeah in your opinion other people see him as like he's gone real right wing and he's an old crumudgeon just i actually want to take back and one of the previous episodes i said it was all right and i actually gave some criticism yeah you the fucking why you say that i was thinking about down the way home i was like why did i say that who are we yeah i'd actually take it back what of the greatest stand-ups of all life i loved the special i give it my little brino tool award yeah so that'd be nice for dave yeah he'll be happy to hear him he'll only made it then new little brino tool award it's a great special

it is it was a lot of fun yeah I really enjoyed and then afterwards I was thinking like if you got different comedian do those jokes yeah they'd like you got Al Porter did you know the bit where he's doing like

you know the way he's saying like he can say the N word but you can't say the F word yeah yeah if Al Porter did that bit he would be genius oh I just I really want to do an impression

of him doing that bit but I know I better not well I just cut it out again I'm determined to get it in one of these things but like we were talking about Gemma Daugherty and you know

Facebook and YouTube I've decided to take down some of our videos because I feel like it might incite violence and those are again those things that you're like I want to argue with

but I also don't want to be on her side yeah that's the thing so it makes things like am on the wrong side of history yeah it's true well I think it's just you kind of

I mean, what they're doing is censorship, but what they're censoring is bad. So you don't know how to feel about it. Obviously, you don't agree with Gemino-Darty, but I don't necessarily agree with censorship. And, like, you know, we've all been raised to believe free speech is important and we need it. And now it's just, like, become this really almost arbitrary thing that, like, oh, free speech, except for this and this, and this, and this, and this. You know, and that list keeps getting longer. And we're on it. Don't worry about that.

Yeah, we are on it. we're definitely on it we're on one of many lists yeah yeah yeah well hmm does this island have like a terrorist list for the RA I'm sure yeah yeah that could be a fun kind of comedy

if we get mixed up with certain ra members and then like it's like a wacky adventure I did it I had this new bit about the rad that I did in a pub and money and there's all our lads there's like some of these lads legitimately might be in the round yeah but we're down alright guys sometimes you do kind of IRA bits in front of older guys

and they cheer a bit too hard and you're like oh no I don't like how that feels oh no you

you killed manbatten didn't you well he was a nonce yeah that's what the guy in Yon used to say like he was a nunce

I'm like oh tushet what about his grandchildren they're also nonces probably yeah oh man there's this columnist

who works for the Irish Independent I think her name Ruth Dudley Edwards and she's very anti-IRA and very pro the royalty and stuff like that.

And it's always funny to hear her take. I like reading her take sometimes because she's such a little... You know, we hang around with a certain group who would make the odd up-de-rah comment. In the joke, you kind of stand. It's our like a tuna macada. Or whatever you say that.

A cuna matana? Yeah, a tuna macana or whatever it is. A can of tuna. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, you know, it's just like something we say and we know we put much talent to it. That's true. But if you said that to her, she'd probably, like, explode and try and kill you, like, because she's so, like, anti.

And she's so pro-queath, like, queen is ridiculous. We're, like, whenever allegations about, it happens a lot now about, like, Prince Andrew or, like, Mountbatten, she's always writing these things. Like, I've never met them, but I can guarantee you, they would never do something like that. Yeah, yeah. She's the equivalent of, like, the mad fan who, like, loves the Beatles. But if you say anything about, like, well, I hear John Lenn was a bit of dick. No, he wasn't. beautiful he sang a song once

like the people that still defend Michael Jackson yeah there's a lot of people still defend there's still like you know and he was like won the VMAs that like and here's the Michael Jackson award for and you're like what what did you have to do to get that

dear God I think it's like best music video but for a bit second you know like how many how many did he have to people who defend that for ages. Michael especially. Yeah, he's a big one. Yeah, General Darley, she's a bit of a mad. But, like, it's kind of like she just,

it was the only way that she could see to make herself relevant. Well, you know, her story is she was a well-respected journalist. Yeah, for the Irish Times. Everywhere, like, she was going around, yeah. And then, like, and she was, like, really cracking the cases, you know, busting heads, you know. Kind of an old cop show, you know.

She's driving around, sliding over the hood of a car, just shoot a witness. before you can't even tell you what happened she was like she was really killing it like back then like and then I think she published a story about penalty points like some somebody was getting penalty points taken off some politician

she pissed off with the head of the a bit like um when norm was making all those OJ jokes and he pissed off the guy who was the head of that son now and lost his job yeah yeah like that where she hit a bit too close to the bow in the particular issue for the editor right and then she um

I think she tried to sue um the one of the paper it's probably independent about that for unfair dismissal and so it's like oh yeah this journalist yeah she's fucking she's fighting

now she's suing the paper because yeah she's right she's trying to fight her for that she's a good person I'm wearing out and I'll never not be wearer and then she's like you know I fight for press freedom

and also don't vaccinate don't vaccinate don't vaccinate your Muslims that are ruining the country yeah and then she's kind of like but then she became like all Alex Jonesy but like yeah she's gotten really like but it was like nine years after like that was

that was already out there yeah it feels like nine years too late it's like we've done this like but that's the typical Irish thing isn't it to come very late to the party like she's obviously everyone has seen for a long time in America if you align yourself to the insane right wing

conspiracy theories there's a lot of money to be made there you can make yourself very relevant to a lot of people and there's a huge demographic that feel like they're not being spoken to because all the mainstream media is so left so she's the first Irish one to really go full tilt is like they're all lizards and they're raping your children

and she's half right not with the lizard's part but yeah I would I would love now to get Gemma on the show sometime bring her back to my room on the little bed okay but no listen this okay I'd say like I'll just turn off the mic there real quick

before we start be honest now have you just pivoted to the right to get a fan base because you were failing and she'd say be honest yeah I did

and then be like guess what bitch we've been recording this this is Facebook live you're done it's over yeah you're done

the police are outside she's like why the police here I don't know I call them bomb trash I'm wrong that'd be so great if we cracked the case

to Jim O'Darty See, that's why I want to be known for it because I feel like in the next few years we're going to be known as like the alt-right edge lords who just say offensive things in their shitty little podcast

and I hear he's got a small dick and he didn't even make me come that's a review from Hot Press magazine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I didn't, everything about that's accurate. I didn't even fuck the reviewer.

But he knew. Yeah, but instead I like to be known for like, almost like, we're crusaders in a way. We do good things. I want to be known for good, like, you know John Oliver? Yeah.

He's known for real good things. That's true. He does the funny shows. We also do every now and again, like, you know, try and get some bad business changed. Yeah, yeah. Well, there is that whole thing,

the John Oliver effect where, like, the show actually, incites so much you know change or like say like you do a piece about like you know in one Texas supermarket they just shoot Muslim people in the face

and then like the Texas supermarket will see them like oh now we better stop shooting people in the face you know where's that happening target hey oh hey thank you what that bumsam okay Carson invite me to the seat invite me to the sea

invite me to the sea Oh, that's why I would have done, if I was on Johnny Carson back in the day, what would have been great is if I had bombed, but I just walked over the seat anyway, even though Carson telling me to not do it, and just sit down, then I just immediately piss myself. Because it's my place now. Just stop fucking dodgering. But that's what I mean, John Oliver will do all these, like, kind of nice things where, like, say, like, they're polluting, like, some baby's house or something like that. Yeah. Baby pays rent, you know. to pay a mortgage and it's addicted toxycontin.

Yeah, it's an oxy cotton baby addict, okay? And, like, you know, he can't get Wi-Fi anymore. Yeah, yeah. He'll just, you know, on John Loverdue a story about that, and then he'll get, like, Wi-Fi. Yeah. So he's doing good things. And I like that here, like, say, like,

there's a beef crisis right now. Yes. If we did a really good episode about, like, the Irish Farmers Association, okay, where we really, like, went deep into it, okay? Because there's a lot of corruption in there. Sure. You have the president's been, like, they've had to leave.

Because of what, like, take his brine envelopes? All bribes, no sexual stuff so far. Yeah. But again, yeah, well, that's mostly with the animals and they can't. Roman Farr doesn't care about those. Yeah. But, like, yeah, so if we did a really thing, like, a thing that really, like, dug deep into, we get Jemma involved as well, like, because she's still a good journalist.

Yeah. She'd come back and, like, they're bribing people and also, like, you know, their space, Jews. And we'd be like, okay, well, we'll keep both our mind and we throw away to space Jews file. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or we stored away just in case. Just in case. Because I've been watching them. I know what they're like. Yeah. You remember when we started this episode, we said we weren't going to do racial humor? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We really have slid back into a like a comfortable old shoe. Like a comfortable old shoe. But look, I was trying to say it was, we do a bit about the Irish

Farmers Association so good they have to shut down Yeah That probably wouldn't help either No I think that would make things way worse Farmers would come after us If there's any group of people Like you think like you know Right wing conspiracy nuts are bad

Farmers are worse Well farmers have really nothing to lose They will come after you In a fucking combine harvester That's the thing like farmers are almost like You know the only school shooters are young They imagine they had access to a tractor If he just burst in a colobine in it

Like a fucking combine harvester A massive 45 Yeah Yeah And they're like kicking the wheels Like Jesus Yeah, it's fine out you up now Yeah

Yeah But yeah Well I'd like to do good things It would be nice to do good things I would like it if What good things I don't know Like at some stage

We have some charity Going on the side Okay And then it's like You know What happened all the money I'm like Ha ha ha

That money was just rastring In my God Oh father you have reference and then we get away with it completely I've always taught if there was some politician that got caught like taking bribes yeah he could just quote that yeah and get away with it no he would get away to be like

ah ha ha ha ha ha he said it good to-chaise yeah yeah yeah yeah I think Claire Bermer just be like they got my boat tobertie yeah you know you hear that their RT have to like cut a lot of like they're losing

a lot of funding no money they're not even going to be able to like produce half the shite they're producing but like it is mostly shite they should just terrible I've said they should just give up I mean just keep doing like the news and sport yeah but any kind of attempt

to do scripted drama I would just give up at least for a little while well they did some good stuff back in the day like arguably love hate is pretty decent I mean I know it's kind of like style again love hate really successful show yeah and then like

I think it just kind of fell apart they couldn't even make the next season because like yeah yeah it's probably like they're not really good I think they're not very good at they don't know what they're doing I honestly mean like they're just like failing upwards with that show I think a lot of them like if a TV show is good they would be like

how do I renew a TV show do I like call up who do I call we've never had to do this before literally in the history of everything else like the news is here and I got here the sport that's all happening like I've never had to like ear to the ground I didn't even know how I commissioned this show it's going to

and I was drunk and now we started with making I was like I went on a drinking binge and woke up we're two seasons deep I have no idea

do I call like the creator I got tea bagged by Pat Kenny at a gaff party and now I've got my own show but I honestly think the producers

like where do I get the money like yeah do it like an ATM or like what how does it how does money work is that RTE going around

hitting the ATMs with a digger is that they blamed it on the rat we need more funding but I wouldn't be surprised if they literally start having to like

you know, just do small crimes. Just like stealing like just people's rakes. I've heard that a lot of the money they get like from sponsorship and advertising and all that kind of thing. But there's very little like, you know, they have very little money to put Ford into the project. Yeah. They need to get a sponsor. Yeah. And also the advertising is well to help them.

I don't understand how they've got advertising and license fee. Yeah, that's the thing. And even if. And they're still financially fucked. Even if not everyone's paying a license fee, which is really bad for in this country. Yeah, that's true. Like, um, they still getting some money. Yeah.

And I'd that with the, like, I don't wonder. Where's it going? Who knows? Whoa. It's Cayman Islands. Ryan Tority, money's on like half a mill a year. That's insane. Like.

For what? For what? For what, exactly? Well, you know what? You know what? You know what I will say about Toherty, okay? What? He knows to do a show and not make multiple jokes about race.

And I thought, you think that's easy, but we proved it's very, It's very difficult. It's very difficult to not do stereotypes. For all you know they have to edit around them, you know It's live.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Oh, you don't think it's live. Live at two in the afternoon. No, and it's not, it's not, Kubrick did that. Kubrick fakes every episode. He's approached my RTE

to fake the late late show. Gay burn, not even real. Just two kids. In a overcoat, yeah. yeah well I don't know Tiberty especially we've gone on about it but like Tiberty is we need someone young and fresh that's the thing you do like it just he doesn't like they do not appeal to the youth and when I say youth I mean people in their 30s yeah

30 and below and it's just all you know so you had cancer did you yeah and then your dog died yeah then your sister committed suicide yeah and then like you know she's a little song at the end and there but not here we have the star of Love Island Yeah, yeah It's like I don't even know who they are It's such a weird format like you know You ever watch Love Island

No, I've never watched a full episode You ever feel like your life would much better if you did though No If you could just like accept it It's almost like sinking into the abyss If you could just kind of give up And just watch Love Island I mean you can say that about a lot of things

I mean I'd be a lot happier If I was like a devoted Christian Who believed in eternal afterlife and bliss And all that shite fun you know do you really want to but it's like we go around chasing like oh here it's a good show

and you watch it oh let me watch an artsy movie then we watch something that's powerful and artistic but we just gave up and just watch Love Island just watch Love Island and just like

if you just could just change your brain so like anything with some place so like fuck that's dumb what is that shit I'm reading the telly like yeah

and just like completely turn off your brain yeah and but then you can talk people more about it and then dig with it. That's true. I'd be a more happier, more functioning human. That would be nice I think actually. But yet we can't do it for some reason. It's not even that hard.

It's passive. Just watch Love Island. That's not though, because it just boils your blood. Like if we sit and try to watch that, I'd just get angry. Like, you know. I do too. It gets, I get very frustrated like this is fucking horrendous. How do people like this? I don't understand why I get so angry at. Maybe we're getting

angry at ourselves. Well, no, I do understand it. For having an inability to like it. But also it's the very kind of thing of like... Plus that they're on the island and they're... She's beautiful. Why aren't I beautiful? He's got muscles. She's got fake tits. Are they going to bang? Yes they are. Tune in tomorrow for the same thing. I just feel like...

There's some people who watch it and are like, ha, it's hilarious. And then you tell them it's fake and they're like, yeah, I know. And they just like it and they don't care. Yeah. And other people say like they watch it because it's like a social... The same reason they watch Big Brother back in the day. They watch it ironically. No, ironically.

It's like it's almost... But then other people... like you know it's almost like a social experiment you know so it's actually interesting you kind of learn about like sociology and stuff when you watch these people interact and it's like no you don't no it's scripted like the whole thing is scripted

yeah yeah yeah what are you learning is like if you put people together they start banging they're gonna fuck like how much experiment do you need like Jeffrey Epstein's figured that out a long time ago like if it was like the Stanford prison experiment where they were like actually like doing like weird things to them like really fuck with their mind

which I'd love that if they like you know I mean arguably that's what they do and I'm a celebrity they make them make camel balls yeah but they know what's real yeah that's true but like you could kind of easily just like or just kill one of them just to see like how they react you know that'll be a social

experiment and the amount of people who like wouldn't you understand like why that's even slightly bad yeah you'd be like to kill the human being and like yeah but it's funny but you're like no but it's not a joke though it's like they actually slayer his troll on live television. Greg's dead

and they're like, yeah I know but it's like, you know, they should have the right to do that. I'm just like who am I to say you shouldn't but Russell Howard had a great bit about it so it's fine. What's Russell Howard do? He's so rich. He was gigging over in Ireland there

and off the long ago. Was he? Actually my brother went to see him and said he. Isn't your brother though? No, not that one. Okay, yeah, yeah. I don't even know which one you were referring to. It's a big melting pot. There's a few yearbers, actually.

See, I exhibit all the traits. He saw Russell Howard? Yeah, he saw Russell Howard. He's not a fan, like, he just, his mate got him a ticket. He said it was actually very good. Yeah, I've gone in a mood now where I feel like I've watched a lot of the edgy stand-ups. I'm almost like, like, you know, let's say you get more conservative to get old. Yeah, yeah.

I'm almost like, when I do see a little bit of a very, like, a family friendly act, I, as an older comic now, because I've been doing this fucking, I've been doing this since back in the day. You know, me and Lenny were retired. I gave him the junk. Yeah. I gave him the junk that killed him. I've never been happier.

I was like, shut the fuck up. I don't get your lone ranger and tonto bed. I don't understand. understand. I didn't listen to a serial. But what was it talking about? I can't remember. Oh, Russell Howard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I see it now.

It's like, God, he can do... I can appreciate the fact that he's not saying fuck. Yeah, it's just like very... I don't know, though. I get kind of like, oh, it just annoys me that they just go for like the... It's total broadstrokes. Like, they just appeal to like a mass demographic. I think because here's the thing, I lived with someone.

a while ago who was like a big fan of like those type of I remember yeah he won't say the name but I remember like he made me watch uh I won't say it's this stand-up either because he's doing very well in Hollywood right now who uh I'll say it Jack Whitehall yeah yeah yeah I have no problem he's very good in like um that TV show he acts like a posh prick yeah uh fresh meat oh what it's every show he's in like that like but fresh meat he's very good in that like Yeah, but just because it's well written But he can't play anything else outside of that You know what I mean?

No, he couldn't. It's kind of like the bumbling, posh, idiot, you know? He couldn't play, like, Rosa Parks. And he's trying. That was a weird episode of bad education. Look, kids. I've never watched that show. I seem to principle of some, like, stuffy old, con.

Yeah, I've never watched. Blackface. I see, what's going on here now? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely, yeah, great. Yeah, but so he made us watch that Jack Whitehall special. And, like, it's just awful. It's just not my cup of tea.

No, it's not mine either. But you know what also annoys me, Jack Whitehall and Russell Howard, actually, they both do this show where they travel around America with... With their parents. Russell Howard goes with his mom, Jack Whitehall goes at his dad's like, oh, look, my mom is getting a tattoo.

Oh, mom, you bloody mental. Fuck off. But they have good chemistry, but we're more interested. Like, if I went around to order my dad's... Just like, you just don't speak. Yeah, yeah. We just don't speak. When we do speak, it's to argue.

Every now and again, he makes it a slight dig about the fact that, like, I'm back in college. You're going back to college for a third time, are you? Shut up! Yeah, that'd be great. See, I'd watch that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's why I want to see, I want to see, like,

someone we're a really abusive parent. Yeah. Go around and, like, go, like, go, like, on the dune buggies or whatever, like, it's like, you know, they have these fun adventures, but... It's just, like, tainted and sadness. dad's always calling him homophobic slurs who would be a good comedian to do that, like a real fucked up comedian

to do like it travels with their dad Artie Lang Artie Lang All right just wheels him around and his shop He just leaves him to the car park to go get some dope Why didn't you hold a ladder son Ah dad I'm sorry

Yeah That's what happened though he wasn't there to hold a ladder and his dad fell and ended up that's like that's almost so simple yeah like if I was writing like a story

and he forgot to hold the ladder he was too on the nose you gotta make it a little bit don't it be like more like Hollywood as if he's like literally like he was doing heroin if like the dad went up the ladder like you hold down he's like

yeah be back in one second and he went off to some heroin and dad's like help me it's like I'm too weak much like Uncle Ben you will die and I will become a hero

I said it becomes a spider rat He becomes a heroin addict Imagine that happened to Peter Parker Like he just went on the smack And like What was it, Mary Jane comes along She's like, whatever happened to that boy I went to school with Peter Parker, whatever happened to him

And they're like Oh yeah, that's the story, okay She goes to the house To visit and she's like, whatever happened to Peter Parker And Aunt May is like Oh, he don't come around here no more and then as she's leaving this homeless guy comes up to her

it's like get him is a fucking change she's like get away from me you disgust and freak no one will love you and she walks away and she's like that homeless guy seemed familiar peter so it's like a more it's like a lesson there and then stanley makes a cameo

I remember when you know they were abusing him who were everyone what's you mean abusing him well like I think the staff in nursing home were like, you know, just flicked his face and things like that. Who's Stan Lee? Yeah, yeah.

Near the end, yeah. There's a whole lawsuit came out against the nursing home or this nurse, yeah. They were proper, yeah, and like, one of them was like, you know, doing the old trick of like, remember you gave me $10 million? And he was like, I guess I did, I'll write a check. Oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, actually, it's like, oh, remember you said you put me in the will? Oh, Excelsior. comic book I want to say. Yeah, yeah. God, that'd be great now. It's a real action-packed. It's this whole, like, it's his team, like, how we're going to scam, okay? And they're working out all these ways to, like, you know, I'll say this and you show up pretending to be, like, my cousin with an ex-bigger deal, and then we'll play, like, cat and mouse with him, you know? But instead just going, like, give us the money, it's like, yes. True believer?

You know, bitch. No, they actually wore or abuse him a little bit. and that happens a good bit to older people in nursing homes yeah yeah that's true there's an RT investigates that was like about that Was that a bit of nursing home They did another one about a crash

There not too long ago They were abusing the crash It's not the same though Like You can't really scam much money Over baby Come on sign it Sign the deed

What were doing in the crash I don't know I think it's just like very negligent Probably not good things Yeah They wouldn't do an order to investigate and be like, they're so nice. I don't think there was any, like, it was just, like, really poor conditions and stuff. I don't know.

I don't think if there was any, like, it wasn't, like, the Franklin cover-up or whatever. What was that? Oh, this big, huge thing in America, like, um, yeah, there was a documentary about it called Conspiracy of Silence. You ever see it now? No. And, like, it's just, but this guy and he had, like, a charity, but he was just, it was for kids, but he was just, like, pimping them out to politicians, basically. Pretty fucked up.

There's a whole big, you can go down a really deep round hole with it. I'm going to, because it veers too close to our usual topics of pedos, so I'm not going to go into it. But it's very interesting for anybody who'd like to watch it. Conspiracy of Silence, but yeah, it's mental. That gets your James Cannon, the words. But, you know, like, some of the kids named, like, prominent politicians, a few actually named George Herbert Walker Bush.

Oh, I haven't heard much about him killing people. Daddy Bush. Daddy Bush killing people Oh yes With bare hands Not just like You know Like a pussy just killing them

With rocket launchers Yeah Yeah Well like I don't know Plains or ever Like didn't have drones back then

But he was killing people Oh of course He was like head of CIA Half director of CIA Before then he was Vice President During was it Reagan Probably not Reagan

Yeah You don't become the head Of the CIA Yeah By like not If you're a real nice guy Yeah Yeah

Just like hey guys I want everyone Get along Hey hey Stop the fussing the fighting. Now let's let's use our words, okay? We can talk about this.

There's like, wow, those guys are real mean. I imagine if the CIA, head to see it was a real pussy where like, um, the people like keep bombing America and it's like, guys, come on now. Stop being dicks. Hey, have you seen these guys, a bunch of characters? Those were

my favorite two towers. And the Pentagon, you know, much work we'll have to do? Oh, shucks. you have you mean yeah you gotta be a badass you gotta be a tough bastard like you gotta be yeah

because otherwise someone else is gonna knock you down it's kind of like prison yeah actually well equal amount of raping goes on in the US government

in prison in my head I was thinking I was trying to add up which has the most raping it and I just could see it was prison until Clinton took office and then

those numbers just skyrocketed let me get my haves on you baby I was saying But speaking of rapists actually And we're back No no no

We're talking about RT a while ago And you said rapist Just reminding me I've been watching the loudest vice Oh yeah yeah The Roger Ailes stuff in a week And we're talking about like Now he's a bad guy

We can all agree Roger Ails is a bad guy Even like most Republican people Would say like he's not the best Representative He wouldn't be our mascot He was a piece of shit Yeah yeah

Yeah But if you got him in charge of RT all they did really do well like they have no more money problems like he'd know exactly what to think about if you had the choice between we pay a new tax where you have to if you have anything

that can get RT player phone and laptop you got paid money for it okay it's like an RT license not TV license or have Roger Ails but you know some people aren't going to like it yeah yeah

like he's going to run around chasing people. And the only way he'd like shoot blood out of his cock. What? Yeah, he had a real bleedy cock. Bleedy cock. Yeah, yeah. So imagine him like running around. If he, if it was like I'm saving five euro but Roger Ayles is running around naked, chasing

Tuberty with a bleedy talk. You take it like. Was that in the show? Because I haven't finished it, but I don't got to you, but I've heard from multiple people saying like his like he had like um, well, yeah, like his penis was very bad looking. There's multiple women like that was like how they knew. It's kind of like, you know

when they um like like say if like a rapist has a burnt mark on his balls okay it's easier to like track who it is it was like that role of them and were like yeah it was like there's more blood than jizz jesus man that's fucked up yeah a bleedy cock yeah what a wonderful image well he lived to be a right old age oh he was like seven he had a great time yeah yeah yeah really and it's what like those powerful people like they get taken down but that's like early retirement yeah yeah yeah It's like he got taken down when he was 70 and he died two years later. Yeah, and then he just like

drinking, like sitting around drinking peanut coladas. Yeah. Like, oh, those women really got me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know? What we're out here? 35. Yeah, 35.

All right. That's good, yeah. So what do you think of the loudest place? I liked it. Yeah, I'm just very, it's more just interesting to learn the history of Fox on how they became

ultra-conservative, right-wing. The 9-11 episode was great, how they reacted to it I think like Russell Crow is good in it especially like when he gets real angry and stuff but he's unrecognizable

he's got like a fat suit on and he looks real old but not when you say fat suit you think like comedic like you know he's knocking things over I suppose it's prosthetics oh it has to be

you couldn't have gained all that way yeah yeah it's just like I always think fat suit is a silly thing I suppose it can't be serious Well, he does it well, I think. Yeah, no, he's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they don't, like, play...

They don't play up to fatness too much, like... No, no, well, see, he was very powerful guys, so nobody really... Yeah, very powerful, yeah. ...wanted to, you know... Although he wasn't Russell Crow, like, you look at him and look at Russell Crowe. And even, like, they've, like, uglified Russell Crowe as ugly as possible. Yeah. It's still not like Roger Ayles.

It's still, yeah, he still looks better than Roger Ours. He was an absolute ghoul of a man. If you... If you... okay but if Roger what's his name Russell Crowe was in the makeup and then someone beat him to death

and then left him out in the sun for a while that's what Roger Ales looked like Yeah pretty much Or maybe like threw him in a canal for a day or two Oh you're right actually yeah Yeah yeah yeah

God He was a horrible looking fucker Yeah yeah yeah That's why he was blood and jizz everywhere Just like Can't get over that man A bleedy cocked There's a whole floor

That no one would go to Because he was just running around Are you serious No I'm talking of course he's running around like Pac-Man and just chasing women but I don't understand I don't want to like say this but like you think someone would have like

popped no old cap on him yeah yeah yeah propel over his face yeah yeah yeah that's true like all those secretaries I just wonder like it would be cool if like one of them like just uh you know was like oh you like he touches her tit and he's like

oh you ha ha ha and she's put something in his tea yeah yeah and then he drinks then in like like in the hateful age start vomiting blood everywhere and they can't tell us that he wrong at first I think he's a hemophiliac as well oh that's right he was he was a hemophiliac yeah that's why he bled out of his cockman but I don't think that's all hemophiliacs let's just make that well he was particularly unhealthy he was very overweight and oh he's probably one of those guys as well were like you know he fuck so much like his cock started going bad like probably in the 80s

and he's like eh still works right then the 90s it was like just flies growing around it and he was like

get the job done and then by time 9-11 happened like in 2001 it was like if you ever seen Jeff Goldblumes to fly

it was like that near the end it's literally is falling off and like it's sentient and it's just like kill me killing around

kill me me because there is a lot of like that you have to think especially old generation that it's like thinking the amount of guys who like went off to war and like went to these foreign countries and like didn't give a fuck you know yeah yeah they won't wearing protection oh yeah like and then like they say they catch something and you're like well time to bring this back to the land of the free that would have been a good little like thing if he brought back and same with smallpox a little bit of like but what did the for the Native Americans yeah be like taste their own medicine if he brought back some special form of

Columbia here that only white men could get let me be a bit of justice yeah we have a lot kids around here not in the room not a no we learned our learned our lesson on that one oh I thought this might be a fun episode apparently YouTube shut us down I was going to read something a while ago we were talking about people like you know

deciding what can be internet and what's not and will you tell me you know a guy who like his job as he goes through Facebook and moderates it

literally just got the job so I haven't been talking to him since he started working but yeah he basically he's one of like the moderators so he's got his basically anything that's uploaded to Facebook

that's so that's yeah there's an article here saying that the interview a few people who'd um like been doing this they're like it's made me so much worse yeah like now i can't even tell what's graphic anymore yeah yeah we're like um they're just like they're actually lot of them as well they become like really all right like almost like it's a virus you know the more they look at the more they're like yeah the world is flat oh my god yeah yeah well

yeah there's me a few of them who were like they've been put on there and then like two weeks later they're like on the compound network they're just we honestly kumi and you're like oh shit it's uh yeah it's a horrible job like apparently people only staying in a couple of months like if you're the type person who can last in that job for like years that's probably not a good sign like i mean actually in the interview they asked my mate what's the worst thing you ever seen on the internet and he goes ukrainian hammer and they're like you got the job buddy wow this the only time were ukrainian hammer you say ukraine house interview and you get the position if you were trying to get a job job

working like is a babysitter like what experience to have just went Ukrainian hammer this is a good chance to parents would just say yes because they're scared like yeah take him Fredo that doesn't know have you seen Ukrainian I know I'm so happy I don't I don't know what it is I've seen it what is it's it's a it's basically it's this horrible video I think I saw it around 2007 but it's I assume you in the Ukraine this guy's just like in a park lying down yeah and these two guys are filming on their camera phone and they come up with a ham and just bashes head one basheses them in the head with the hammer and the other stabs them with a screwdriver and they're like a laugh in the whole time will they do oh my god like in practical jokers yeah oh my god salve fell backwards

oh my god that is ukrain in practical jokers that's like they don't get like the the joker part of it like so it was like stab man stab man with screwdriver and with hammer and like it's like um that the challenges so one of them was like you know stab a man's like that's easy and like you know stab another guy that's easy and stab your mother he's like oh what am i gonna do it i'm in a real pickle here and then the break and the come back he's like i still don't know what to do and he doesn't do it and then like um i know they throw eggs of them or something something real silly you know then they draw like a tina's face saying loser he's like ah you have got me you have got me i have lost lost the challenge yes did not stab mother-in-law and

with faiths and hands yeah I remember I think I'm lucky I never like really got into that whole watching torture you see

you know this was like 2007 where the internet wasn't as moderated back then so you could find really fucked that shit our whole generation

like everyone was just had a little phone and was like hey look just one man one jar two girls two girls one cup

yeah I can't remember their names or like some of them was just like you know like no blue awful yeah like stuff like that just disgusting just disgusting violent horrible shit and this is a generation that's we are that generation yeah like we like think about it like we we we saw porn before we had sex yes and we saw the towers

fall before we could commit any terrorism ourselves so warped our mind to how terrorism's supposed to work so we can feel inadequate now yeah it's like really glamorous we have to make it real sexy yeah so now like if you just blow up like the nightclub in town it's like boring and you're like I know I know but I can't be like that yeah it's almost like the way we look at like who's a good comic um norm McDonald's or like Daniel Tosh you know someone like that where you're like someone like that you're like look I'll never be like that you know yeah so what's the point of being a terrorist I'll just become a comedian yeah yeah

kind hey oh thank you very much yeah god i'm alone yeah you should do a corporate for is so what do you want to be when you blow up hey oh let's keep up all right hey well but you blow up that's your only joke you have oh this whole room's blowing up hey well my twir's blowing up you kind of bloomed oh like that hey what's this And they're like, terrorists walking down the street, pop. And they'd love it. They would, they'd love it. They'd be good crack now.

That's the sad thing is it's the hateful people like this podcast. Yeah, we definitely, I assume, if this were ever to catch on, we'd get a large section of, you're right, I hate them too. No, that's not what we're saying at all. Please, please, please don't listen to this. you're not it's not meant for you but the fans you do love it we will respect them

yes yeah and we'll have a little like oh actually no we won't we'll have like uh we'll do that thing we're like hey it's a you get to meet Brian and James okay after show we're charged like 50 50 euro and we're in separate rooms because I can't stand being around each other

it's like 50 euro for eye contact 100 for a soft handshake 200 for a slightly stronger one It just builds up and up to like you have to you have the opportunity to lick my toes

if the price is right the honor yeah I do like that the idea of us hating each other oh yeah but we still do the podcast yeah yeah

well like every good like any good band all the great bands they always hate each other like the oasis you know the brothers hate each other the sex pistols

Ramones all the good ones they all there's always hatred there yeah well hatred or friendly rivalry well I mean never the twin shall meet I don't know I haven't slept in a very long time

you've been working hard well no not really but well you've been working I have been working yes I do have a job now I've been I'm back in college back in college how's it going actually it's good we have a cool lecture we have a new lecture I won't say his name but it

no actually no I just to realize I'm in college I won't even make the joke is going to make oh it feels like about to sneeze and I didn't very unsatisfying yeah it is very unsatisfying but anyway he's so cool though because like his name of Jim like he has worked in events management for years so he's done all the events he's done like he wouldn't say which one but he's done one the Westlife boy's wedding

yeah yeah okay wasn't the gay one I hope sorry that's awful he made a point to tell him us if anybody that's a normal I know what you're thinking no buffy weddings

yeah and he also is telling us like he's done big things for like European meetings okay so we're like let's say it's a big European meeting he like would be in charge like who like the meals so they're talking about I don't know whether the EU

does which I suppose just like making Britain worse and trying to ruin

the Great White Britain or whatever it is they do I don't know Whatever they do Yeah I've missed

to a lot of Nigel lately And a bit of Tommy Robinson Yeah yeah yeah God what legend I thought he was a guru

Oh I went to the wrong Tommy Who it is he's Tony Robbins Tony and Tommy Tony Robbins and Tommy Robinson. Yeah, I still think, if you had a...

And dyslexic? No, no, no. If you had a comedy where, like, let's say they're friends and they like, you know, like, I wish I was like you. No, I wish I was like you. And then I woke up like, what? D-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You're on my body.

I hate Muslims. What are we talking about? So, yeah, he's done all these really cool events. He's telling us, like, stuff like, um, he's, actually had his life on the line where there's embassies coming in trucks and he's been brought

to like that they served food in like a room that like had four concrete walls and like they got in a truck and they'd bring him didn't even know where they were going stuff like that for like when he's doing like stuff

of the Israelis oh wow yeah yeah and like even like he was during like they were doing like the peace process stuff and Margaret Thatcher was over and he was sorry he was in the room with Tatcher

oh wow just bring it in like and like imagine like someone could have bombed that that's true yeah imagine dying giving Margaret Thatcher a burrito

No way she would have ate a burrito Oh I actually no Is this some kind of sick joke Away with you now Don't stockade with you boy They're like Miss Thatcher There's no stockade anymore

Stop Yeah it is an interesting guy It does kind of make you think I definitely don't want to do this For the rest of my life Yeah yeah That's why I feel on my job I'm just like, well, I don't even think I'd be able to, but, uh...

Well, the thing is, like, when you're young, you're making progress. Yeah. It's like, oh, I'm, you're going up the levels of school, and then you go secondary school, and you're like, oh, and you're still going up, you're like, oh, and you got college to look forward to? And then you're going to get to college, and that's when, uh, that's when all comes falling down. That's when, because even, like, the kids who were, like, really bullied or, like, you know, didn't feel like themselves in, um, secondary school. Yeah.

I'll go to college, and that's when they, like, set me. and then you go Dundalk and you're like Oh no Three pipe bombs In one week Just because I wore a scarf Like yeah

Then you realize like Oh the progression I was making That's just something that's been created In society It's not real It's an illusion And then you raise Oh I have to make my own progression

Because before you just kind of like Oh fuck another year Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you get out college and you're like, oh, I suppose I have to like, you know, pull my boots up and put a lot of work into this and try and make things happen. And instead of doing that, we just kind of like,

yeah, we just let all fall apart. Just all, yeah, like a piece of wet cake. God gave us an opportunity, we dropped it. Blew it, man. And then started crying. You said like wet cake. It's a great example. And we're like, oh, sure, that's what you get, isn't it?

that's what I get Brian It's my own fault Me own fault for even wanting cake Oh Jesus Yeah So now we're in the bad world And it's like Jesus

I will do anything To get out of this Yeah That's why you see if people Like will subject themselves to like The casting coach Yeah or even just like

Fear Factor's like eat some kangaroo balls And it's like oh anything please please boy dude like yeah anything is fair that's why fame is so yeah exactly

like everyone wants it everyone wants it it's like you get to be a kid again yeah yeah you get to have like unconditional love and people do things for you enough to worry about money or mortgages or anything like the scary the scary grown-up stuff like

you still I mean there's still a lot of pressure to it you have people tell you to kill yourself on a daily basis as well as we have that anyway so it doesn't really Well, actually, speaking of killing yourself, we had a class there were first years, all right,

and did the whole thing about digital citizenship. It's all about kind of like your digital footprint. And it's half kind of like a warning and half kind of like, you know, people have hard time on the internet. Don't make it worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't send debt threats to Colin Farrow, you know, stuff like that, you know.

He's a wonderful actor. So he's a great guy. Killing him a sacred deer, great film. I haven't seen it, but a far good thing. Very good. I like Colin Farrell. Yeah, yeah. I liked it.

And again, it's one of those films where if I watched it with a girl I was going out on a date with, I would like, wasn't it funny when that happened? She was like, no, that was horrific. I'm like, uh, this isn't going to work out. You're not the one for me. You know the bit where the kids start bleeding out of his eyes?

Wasn't that hilarious? You monster. Get out of my car. You know nothing, yeah. You're doing that's bad. When I got playing for you? Yeah, hold of this. for some reason

I just pull out a popcorn but a box but we're in the office situation I'm like give me a minute let me get let me get hard yeah oh

Jesus yeah so just like you'll do anything you do anything yeah just not live this life Yeah, that's true. No, I definitely feel that. I definitely should be doing more gigs as well, pushing it, you know. So just trying to get settled in the job with like, you know, whatever, whatever about that. Love Shide. More gigs. That's what we need. We need to do live podcasts. I think that will save us. Yeah, yeah. And we start doing live podcasts. I want to put like effort into it.

Oh, yeah. Because there's a lot of podcasts I like, but they're just do, like, when they're live, they just do what they do normally. which is like bullshit but in a live environment it's not the same no it needs to you need like an extra level of performance that's why like

Chappo Trapp House they're very good live because they will do like fun things you know like if they're doing a show in Harvard they'll pick like

the top 10 like war criminals from Harvard like something fun like that you know and then go through it and that's like a little section then the other little section

another podcast is really good to think of Flop House okay you ever hear that I haven't heard of Flop House I've become interested in Flop House because again it's a really really funny podcast that appeals to my

sensibilities. Okay. But there's they're so nice. Really? They don't talk about anything bad. Even like when they're making a joke, they might make like a slightly off-color joke about like, you know, getting raped in the shower. Not that I'm saying that male rape is funny anyway, you know, like... Oh really? Yeah, they're

very sensitive. How do they like? Not that that's funny. Yeah, yeah. But like they'll slip out or like, oh, just not to like you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, even like if they're doing something like we always do, where we kind of like masquerade a racism as a character we're like we're like you know

wouldn't be funny if a a racist came in and said the end we'd laugh okay but they'd be like talking about an actual film

about racism and like he says you know get out of you black guy no no that's him saying that I would never yeah yeah they always like

deflated but they're so funny okay I would recommend them a lot but I'm interested in it I'd like to and they as well they have a structure

where they have like we do this and we talk about this film and we might talk about other films and then we have like audience question and we've recommendations to the end for other films okay to what who all like any well known uh he one of them wrote for the he's the head writer of the daily show oh okay a little thing called the daily show James I am familiar yeah I listen to him yeah that's how cool I am you even know his name do you I know one of

the writers it's not the head writer who Djibuki Chibuki yeah Jabuki yeah he right I know him I don't know him I don't know him I know someone who met him Yeah, we know somebody who knows him Yeah, yeah But I don't When he gets famous He's going to tell girls

I know someone knows him I'm going to tell people I know him Yeah Yeah, yeah How are they going to check Quite easily Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah They'd be like, no you aren't And I'll just crumble them Okay Who care, never met him Just touch it out of it with it Come on, There's popcorn around it

Right a funeral What are you doing? My name, Elliot Kalin is his name He's a very good guy It gives off a thing as well of like genuine niceness And what depresses me a bit Is I know if he listens to his podcast

He'd be like He'd hate it No but he would say like This is lazy This is not funny Yeah This is childish Yes

Oh very accurate Yeah And I'd be like Fuck Because it's one thing If someone you don't like says it Yeah But it's somebody to respect

Well I wouldn't go far as respect Okay yeah it was only daily show like oh is that all yeah yeah he didn't do anything else like he didn't do anything cool okay yeah uh he's never been in a monster truck that he's done the crunch uh yeah oh god he'd killin the crunch he probably was yeah yeah uh he'd be kind of guy now he's just naturally kind of funny energetic kind of guy yeah so they've got a good combo as well so it's him he's like the funny hyper guy then he got stew he's kind of like the laid back, having a few drinks.

Okay. Kind of like silly as well, but in a different kind of way. Yeah. Then they got the other guy, Dan. He's real like, ooh, I got divorced, you know? So he's like the negative energy on the show.

He's like, this is shit. And they're like, hey, it's funny, isn't it? Like, no. So it's like, it's a dynamic. All right. Which is something I think we might need as well. Would we need a third person? Well, I've been live shows.

Well, definitely for a live show. Yeah, you have to interview. What can we do for a live show? Guests. guest is one thing although it depends on the guest yeah it depends on the guest something fun

a little game show element sure yeah like participatory we get the crowd involved yeah I feel like that could lead to lawsuits we'll accidentally

like grab someone's penis which has happened to other people it's a very common accident to happen it's like a reflex in the arm it's these pills a man I swear he had tennis elbow that's what it was he was doing some stretches

and your dick got in the way much like V-O memory is trying to defend himself for being gained it's like it's this medication a man it's it makes me grab dick I'm sorry oh oh Jesus battery's running low

oh let's be turned off I think we'll probably wrap it up there I think the battery running low was definitely a sign from God I'm just thinking we were saying now so this might be a last regular episode for a little bit

but don't worry what do we call our fans don't worry jizz buckets Jizz buckets I can't think it's a name Fuck tarts Oh fuck tards yeah don't worry fuck tards okay

because we're still doing going to try and do like weekly episodes but we tall be different because we if we just like pick an episode of something and talk about it and critique it one per episode

that might be fun so we were thinking like episodes like you said the one where he gets molested which one oh that's a different strokes

he doesn't necessarily get molested it's just there is a there's hints of molestation I said let's leave that for a little bit let's leave that for the Hanukkah special well there's another

like who shot J.R. in Dallas Yeah, stuff like that. We can cover that from our hilarious perspective, okay? And yeah, that'd be kind of fun. Yeah. We'll test it out and do a few episodes of that. We'll see how it goes. Yeah.

Just to be a little bit different, you know? Yeah, it gives us a bit more structure as well. There's only so much paedophiles in the world. Well, I want to space this out. It seems like an infinite supply, if you ask me, but I don't know. You know what I was saying? If you get an infinite number of pedophiles and the infinite number of typewriters, we're going to fuck a kid.

oh let's it let's end it there all right that's it all right again guys thank you so much thanks for listening i have to head off to plowing yes plowing championships yep good look good look