Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 31 : The FRIENDS Special

Episode Date: September 26, 2019

The one where Justin Trudeau does black face.

I like this, and we're off. We're starting the podcast, about friends. Yes, this is our friends-oriented podcast. We're getting away from all of that nasty stuff. All the nasty stuff, which is very difficult for us to get away from. Yeah, we really, it's come, I think it's out of compulsion this stage. Even, this is our second attempt starting the episode. The first attempt, we were less than a minute in,

and we already made a very offensive joke. 12 seconds at best. It was just immediate. It is, like, what do you call that thing where, like, you're all spasi? I don't know it was like that Oh Tourette's It's like Tourette's yeah Like it's like we can't help it like

Yes But it's just so fun It was yeah Now you'll never hear what we said a minute ago But it's goddamn hilarious Oh it was good yeah It's a bit like you know And I'm still proud of it

Yeah no you should be It's bit like you know just to go up We're going to talk with friends a minute But you know where Justin Trudeau got caught With Blackface I saw that yeah yeah Yeah I kind of know how he feels Where you're like you're kind of

I have annoyed you got caught, but you're also like, it was fucking fun, I had a good time, that's all that. Give me a sum laugh that time. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, he, I don't know, I don't think it's really going to affect him that bad. I think a lot of people were like,

ah, you know, it was years ago, it's bad, but what are you going to do? I think most people realize he's mostly a good... Yeah, in terms of, like, I don't know about politics, but, like, in terms of, like, I don't think he's actually, like, a full-on clan member. No, no, I don't think they'd have him, to be honest, yeah.

And I don't know, a lot of people get caught with blackface. I'm going to talk with friends a minute. I know, this ties in. Very revealing video of David Schwimmer. We've got the scope, folks. Sorry, go on. Blackface. And he's like, pivot.

Yo, pivot. No. No. But I'm just saying, like, a lot of people get caught doing blackface, but it's kind of like, isn't blackface like the perfect crime? Because you're wearing a different face. Yeah. How are you going to tell it to you?

That's true. I mean, yeah. I wouldn't support it of the argument. I'm just saying, like, I don't know why someone just deny it straight away. Yeah. Or you know the way women have face masks? Yeah. I've seen some women with face. It's black.

That's true, yeah. It's a full-on minstrel show. And a tasteless one at that. Yeah. Not like those good ones that we attend. But anyway, let's talk with friends. Right, so friends, we decided. Wait, let's do a little segue.

Back in the 90s, black face was okay. also was good in 90s the TV show Friends Yes the sitcom Friends James described friends to anyone who hasn't seen it To anyone that hasn't seen it I'd say climb out from under your rock Bro

Oh yeah there we go Roasted No yeah it's a very popular sitcom Probably one of the biggest If not the biggest sitcom In terms of making money Yeah and just like global Success

Just about six people Attractive people in their 20s Six white people. White, of course. This is the 90s after all. In the 90s, like, you get away with that. Yeah. All white.

All white. I'd like to think that in an office somewhere where they were pitching the show there was like one executive going like, why don't we cast a black guy for one of the roles? And then they looked at him and was like, oh, I'm fired.

Go work on Darmine, Greg, asshole. Beat it. Yeah, yeah. Friends, very popular. And, yeah. Started in the 90s. It was almost an immediate success. Immediately hit the crime.

ground running but like to be honest it just sort of opened like or walked through a door that Seinfeld had opened by revitalizing the sitcom the sitcom by the 90s came around to become very old hat and hacky people didn't like it then Seinfeld comes along and actually shows if it's done well you can really elevate the media you know what I think what signfeld is android friends is Apple yes that's very good analogy actually yeah I don't know what those things are but yeah I think actually almost too good for its own good. Yeah, yeah. They're not going to get the appeal.

Like, a lot of foreign people... Yeah, it's not mass appeal. Like, Friends is mass appeal. Like, I heard Malcolm Gladwell, he was talking about Friends, and he said, Friends is the kind of sitcom where you could watch it on mute and still know what was going on. The performances are very, like, over the top, like, when somebody's annoyed, you can see. Whereas, like, Seinfeld has been more subtle and kind of, like, played with...

Seinfeld, big... No, Seinfeld was big, yeah. Oh, it was huge. Yeah. But, like, even, like, I remember, like, to be references, like, death of a salesman. Yeah.

Stuff like that. Like, did reference, like, Russian plays and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. And novelists. And people aren't going to get that now. No, especially not. No, all those plays been burnt.

And rightfully so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, so Seinfeld for me, like, when people always go, oh, I just don't get Seinfeld, but I love Friends. It's like, well, you're basically watching a watered down version of

Seinfeld, you know? Not to take, look, Friends is, you know, fair play to them. It's a pretty good show. It's all right. Some people like Friends. Some people hate Friends. I loved it growing up, but now it's kind of like, God, I can't really watch it anymore, especially the later seasons. For me, Friends, I think you're a little bit older than me.

I don't, yes, that's, I mean. That's not, it's a fact. Oh, well, okay. We're telling it like it is. You've been 30 for a long time, James. Okay. I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille. Who? The kids will really get back.

This is why we couldn't write for Friends. They rejected my package. Some people, like, they remember a time before Friends was a thing. Yeah. And they remember watching it and, like, they formed opinions. But for me, Friends was this, like, this thing that was just always on. Global phenomenon. That you never even, like, you don't even have a choice to have an opinion on it.

Because it's like the news. It's just always on. Yeah. And you're going to watch, you no matter what. It's just... Pretty much. And we came from a time before, you know, nowadays you can just sit back down. You can watch wherever you want.

Watch it. You have so much variety. But when Friends are. Friends is out, you're very limited variety. I have a very sting memory of having like a VHS tape of like a few Friends episodes. Yeah. And that's all, the only good thing I had to watch. So like, just watch that over and over again until the tape goes weird.

Yeah, yeah. Because you've got nothing else. And then you, when tape breaks, you go down in the basement and reenact all the parts yourself. Yeah, yeah, as myself. And film it and maybe superimpose your image into pre-existing footage. Hey, it's Joey. Man, Brian. Yeah, no.

I went a tangent there. That would be good though if I did that but I've actually kidnapped five women and they're watching I make them watch they're my audience

have a little applause sign that I whack him in the face laugh you whores I'm Chandler your pieces of trash okay so that's basically

what Friends is now we watched the season four finale the one with Ross's wedding in London yeah in London London Bible

yeah now just a bit of a back story the production side of it so Channel 4 actually came to the Friends production team they're like the reruns are doing so well on Channel 4 do you want to come over and oh wow I didn't know that yeah yeah oh wow you've went deep

I read Wikipedia for five minutes wow yeah what a professional so I did a bit of research on the production side of it but I actually have completely forgotten what was going on in terms of it I've forgotten like how Ross met Emily oh yeah because I haven't watched friends in a long time

and we just watched these two episodes yes I just watched these two episodes I watch the one before and the one after just to get an overall view of the very It's very hard to follow like it's like the wire Yeah it's very intricate yeah it requires multiple watches to really appreciate And I get confused sometimes they're like is that channel or a stringer bell Who's down dope? Okay so um we start this episode yeah um where do we start on this so Emily is Ross's English Crumpet

Yes he met her Just on some random night out And then fell in love and get married pretty quickly Now Ross has already Had a divorce this point Because his wife's a lesbian That's true His wife turned out to be a lesbian

Which is like one of the That was like the first He was divorced in the five episodes Oh no like the first episode It opens with him going Oh I'm getting a divorce You know Yeah

Because my wife's a lesbian That was the joke Isn't it? Yes pretty much Yeah Yeah And so She's a lesbian, Ross's divorce once so far,

and Phoebe's pregnant. Yes, with her brother's children. Which is funny, because they use that joke so much. Yeah, yeah. Oh, like, it's my... She never, like, actually clarifies it. She's always like, it's my brother's babies, and they're like, wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Because back in the 90s, incest was bad. That's true, yeah. But now it's, like, give it three years, and it's going to be, like, proper, like, network TV. It's going to be mandatory. No, it's going to, you ever see neighbors? Yes. Or home and away.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be an incest storyline. Alright, what's going on here then? Have you seen my daughter, son? It's got a lovely little ass. Yeah, it's going to come out from under a rock and into the mainstream, incest, yeah.

Well, I'm saying Phoebe's a bit of Trailblazer. I'm looking forward to that. Well, he didn't, she did, it's her half-brother. Yeah, she never explains that. Yeah, she never explains it. She was like, you know, his, like, sperm and into her embryo or whatever. Yeah. artificially they didn't bang

you know this yeah but anyway that's so yeah she's pregnant in real life as well oh is that right yeah what's her name Phoebe's name oh Lisa Kudra Lisa Kudra was pregnant at the time yeah and she

continues a long tradition of actors and sitcom continue to act even when they're pregnant along with the way it's her production schedule is but like happens not like Julie Louer Dreyfus that's right yeah yeah remember that episode signfoil she's holding a big box yeah there's a baby in there

in the box this is the prototype Julia what else Pam in the office she was pregnant she had to walk around I think

Caitlin Olson and Olvis Sonny was another example which makes me think there must be like it must be very hard to be an actress if like

they're forcing you to work I'd like to think that like Lisa Kudrow was like crying and she was like please I don't want to work and then like

you know they were like do it do it or you want to meet the stairs we'll write that into an episode Phoebe Falls

down the stairs. Yeah. We'll have Ross pushing on the stairs to be hilarious. Pepper hat. Oh yeah.

Okay, so starts off, they're about to head to London. They're getting, going ready to fly out to London. Now I notice

on the rewatches, the very first thing in this episode is Monica freaking out. Yeah. Now, Monica's very neurotic. Yeah, very, like she likes

stuff clean and done precisely. But she's hot, so people put up with her. That's true. But as she gets older, people start to maybe you have

aspirators? Well no no no Her age will start to fade and I feel like her mental health will decline as well or like

she was like going full Howard Hughes and shit like shitting in bags and stuff like that but we'd never cover that in the show so she's freaking out

and then Chandler says geez that's going to be a lot of Monica yeah yeah now how interesting is a little bit of foreshadowing perhaps because not to spoil it

Jesus you're quite an academic yeah isn't that interesting yeah very interesting those jews knew what they were doing they always do a very crafty people oh god yeah uh keep it on track yeah no more jew talk no you brought it up yeah well i was saying in a good way like in context yeah you were doing it was that they were crafty which apparently an insults no they're good writers though they're very good yeah i mean a lot of great comedians are jewish okay yep now let's see she's neurotic um

she's also the sister of ross who's getting married yes yes yes so that's even more neurotic I'm pretty sure anybody's listening to this has watched friends well you think that but I meet a lot of foreign people I meet

I actually ruined this on someone once this little Austrian girl I knew I ruined it when I said I loved the bit where like Chandler Monnet got together and she's like what I actually I ruined it for her she was very depressed

she was not she was not happy because she was in the middle of like season three Man. She never seen it before? Yeah, ruined it. Oh, wow. And I kind of felt like, you know, in for a penny and for a pound.

So I start ruining other things, you know. Yeah. Oh, God. Okay. So the next thing, okay, that I know it's interesting, is Phoebe makes a joke about her mother's suicide. That's right, actually. Yeah, yeah. Something like, oh, my mother used to, like, put on her head in the oven.

She only did it once, though. And then the audience laughs. Yeah. That was, like, from season one, they were making suicide jokes about her. which hey I mean I'm not uh I'm in a glass house here and I ain't gonna throw no stones baby yeah yeah well what do you think

it do you think the way they handle it in the show is um yeah I mean to be honest I'm so desensitized I'm the wrong person to ask like I would yeah I guess I suppose suicide's kind of funny like you don't notice it as much until it's like happened in your family and there are

somebody you know and then like then you notice suicide jokes but I'm not like fuck it I'm not you do know a lot of suicide jokes Yeah, yeah. Like, even Looney Tunes would have, like, bugs, like, cutting himself. Like, no, but they'll have, like, Daffy Duck, like, grab a noose or something like that. Yeah, that's true, yeah, yeah. So I think it's a long tradition of that.

And, like, they never made Phoebe, like, weak because of it. No, no, she was... It was always her doing it, and that was, like, her self-defense. Yeah. But I feel like now, if they made friends now, like, Phoebe, like, you know... Go to consuling and shit, like... I'll tell you what, they would tackle in a very different way now. Yeah, they'd have, too much.

They'd have every few episodes that have her going, like, it's because of my mother! And then, like, you know, they all have to hug her and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And then she'd play Smelly Cat. Which is, apropos of a nothing, when my grandmother died, I remember being the hospice,

and someone was playing friends in the room next door to my granny's corpse. Oh. Yeah, and they were playing Smelly Cat. So I can't hear that song now without thinking. good at that like so that kind of triggers me so anyway back to the episode game we haven't even left the apartment yet no god we're on the first scene yeah so rachel's not going everyone else is going to london but rachel's not because she's all broken up because she's still in love with ross because they used to go out yeah yeah yeah but she doesn't admit that yeah no that's their own but

there's a history they've had a long history well i'm very perceptive brian i pick up on these things you know okay so next we see ross's english wife helen baxendale yeah yeah the household name you're all familiar with Helen Baxterdale No way That's like when she appears in the Simpsons Lisa's like oh my It's Helen Baxterdale That's right Lisa, it's me

Do you know her story? No Well apparently she was meant to become a recurring character For a while Oh really? And then the stupid Bitch This idiot okay

She decided she wanted to spend more time with her family in London Are you serious? Yeah she turned down friends What a dip shit They could have continued The marriage for ages That's like the biggest show ever At that point

It's like end of season four They're fucking huge Could you imagine Loving your children Loving anyone enough To turn down being in friends No No one I love

No It's gonna make me turn down That NBC money Yeah NBC And even now What's the big show on NBC now I don't know NCIS

Yeah maybe There's a show called Superstore That's kind of good Superstore yeah I'm not familiar it's a sitcom it's kind of light and gentle okay it's good they've got like a guy in a wheelchair in it and like a Muslim guy and they played off like like like you know everyone's happy with that ah only in crazy la la la land can such a thing be conceived conceptualized

and put to paper brought to life yeah like but it's kind of funny like um it's nice they don't really address racism at all they're just there and it's kind of a nice change that is nice Instead of, again, like, in some shows they have a whole thing about, like, I might be in a wheelchair, but I can still dance on the inside or something like that, you know, something dumb. Or, like, he'd be like, just because I'm Muslim doesn't mean I can't dance on the inside or something.

Something like that. But they're all good comedy characters. Okay, yeah. Anyway, but this bitch decided to leave the show. What a dip show. Yeah, okay. Which is interesting, because you think, like, what would have happened? The show would have been completely different,

like, or maybe, you know, I think they probably still would have, she'd maybe go off and just be a recurring character. or like Janice and, you know. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so they get to London. Okay. Everything's going well. Ross is bringing her to the church.

Guess what? Church has been demolished. No. On their special day? On the special day, yeah. Oh, no. That's heartbreaking. Yeah.

Isn't it? Well, I suppose if you're more invested in the marriage. Yeah, the marriage that, you know, has happened within the space of four episodes. Yeah. That's not a long time. It was a very quick. How did he meet her anyway? It was like.

Oh, it's so stupid that I know this. I'm kind of a shame that I know this so well. But essentially, Rachel was working in some place and she had to go meet her boss's niece or something, who turns out to be this Emily one. But she can't go, so she sends Ross, and they end up falling madly and laughing, blah, blah, blah. I love it in sitcoms like that.

People meet in interesting ways. Yeah. You don't meet like that in real life, you know? It's all just like, oh, she's like a friend of my friend I don't love her at all, but fucking Jesus, any hole will do I can't take another night alone Yeah, and she's the exact same way

She's like, fucking hell I'm sick of looking for people He's available He won't hit me Let's just get married That's not very hard Let's get married and have a kid That's like setting fire the things

You paint quite a fairy tale picture Yeah, yeah That's real like When sitcom is like Oh I gotta meet the boss's daughter and she's got a hot sister and oh no which one i'm going to i'm going to bring both them to prom even though i'm 30 years old so anyway um church is destroyed church is right oh my god what's going to happen we're at the edge of her seat oh yeah like yeah this cut to

uh rachel and phoebe and they're chatting and guess what in the middle of her chat Rachel realizes she still loves Ross. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. And now her big idea is she's going to go to London and tell him. Okay. Now this bit here, I was interesting now because I was talking to a woman about this.

I'd like to get a woman's perspective because I, I, I, God, I'm, got a lot of toxic masculinity goes off with me. I have 24 years of toxic masculinity, basically coming out of my ears this stage. So I have to talk to a woman sometimes just like get an actual, like, sane point of view. so when I was watching this I was going insane I was like Rachel is so bad here she's such a bitch like that's a yeah it's right the last minute to like go and tell and confuse a man like this when he's finally found happiness yeah

it's very selfish yeah and but I was talking to this girl and she's like no you don't understand it's romantic like she had the ball was to go out there and actually do it oh I see I still don't disagree I still don't agree with her no I don't think that's I mean logically you just think that's yeah only Jennifer Anderson could get away with that really only Jennifer Anderson yeah any other woman at all can you imagine if Helen Baxendale

did such a thing she'd be run out of town okay so like we've had it's been a bit heavy now okay the church being destroyed and now this big thing realisation about love so we need a bit of comic relief enter Joey and Chandler

oh yeah one of those crazy guys up to well guess what it's not just them because Richard Branson shows up oh yeah it's selling merch on the side of the street. Yeah. It's like, Oh, Buzz,

I've got to smash an idea. I want to play a pleb. Ah, on your seat, come. Does that be humorous? He actually wasn't as bad as I would expect. I thought you'd go proper like cockney or like. Yeah.

Or like, really, like, why don't I do a Jamaican accent? And they were like, I really don't think you should do Richard. It's like, come on, man. Did you notice the Virgin Atlantic flight product placement? No, I didn't actually.

Ah, wow. I was expecting a little joke where like, you know the way he's trying to sell him a hat. Yeah. I was expecting. and like, um, so he gives Joey the hat

and Chandler be like with that hat you look like a virgin airlines. Wow. Yeah. I want to be you should have row

for friends. And then they all look at the camera and like, what? So they're having a little argument. This is a very weird

moment I noticed in there. I actually watched this three times. So the joke is Joey's wearing a dumb hat. Yes. And Chandra's like,

I'm not going to embarrass myself anymore. Yes. Then he does a very awkward fall. Yeah. That is edited just wrong enough that you pick it up

but not wrong enough to like really criticize it where like he kind of half trips he lands on table yeah he gets back up

yeah the end and you're watching it going like it's almost like blue balls where you're like what

something bigger should have happened there because you set up to like I'm not going to bar up anymore it should have been like him like whoa and a paint

or like he lands on the table or like even better he lands on the table collapses that's an extra little tagged with but instead it's just like

it's like almost like he was like, I'm not going to embarrass stuff, and then I had a mild trip. Yeah. I was like, oh, I guess I didn't embarrass myself, and then he walked off. Yeah. I'm assuming that must be Matthew Perry's drug addiction showing. Yeah, that's true. Around this time, he would be very fucked up on those.

Yeah, God, I'd love to be, like, you know, on the set, just to see what I was really like, you know? His big drugs, his drug of choice, or drugs of choice, were methamphetamine, so speed, but also Vicodin and Percocet. like opiate painkillers yeah and take how fucking i know he's hanging out with branson yeah yeah fucking the king of drugs talking an old reefer yeah just i imagine like them two that's probably what happened is they were going to rehearse that fall and then branson was like you want to try my new super drugs you know only for billionaires yeah but i'll give you a little tight do you want a little bit of oh lovely okay so next we cut back to the wedding drama emily wants to postpone the wedding. Now I

think female characters are written very badly in this, especially this episode of Noah's Rachel's portrayed very selfishly and Emily is completely irrational here. She wants to postpone the wedding and Ross is like, that means they'll have to come back. Yeah, yeah. It wouldn't be so bad but the fact

that it's taking place on London and people have flown from America you couldn't make them do it twice. Yeah. So Ross is completely right here. But they should have I feel like to make it more interesting as a story should have written more of their boat kind of half in the right where maybe they don't have to

like maybe extend it a day or change the date like one day there's something like a little bit less than like let's all just bring them all let's all just quit and come back in six months and try you again but now yeah so you think she's like it's a very per portrayal of women you know it is yeah

I would agree I'm expecting more from Helen Helen come on Helen Baxter Day up yeah yeah yeah sounds like gravy have some Emily Beckham slathered all of the homage and meat well if she stayed on friends she could have had that endorsement

true actually good if she could be literally on the gravy train oh my god we didn't even work on that oh man it's totally in the moment that's how good I am God those Jews couldn't do that but they can't make sure

no one will ever hear this okay um oh just I'll put just uh I noticed this when I was watching they do a reworking of the friends team but British did it's like but it's like in a friends kind of vibe to it yeah which kind of like got me kind of pumped up you know

like I am in London London vibe point yeah yeah yeah okay now a very this bit has not aged well at all now next Joey comes back to the hotel room it's chatting to Chandler and he has a video of someone famous

that he met and he plays the video and it is Fergie aka the Duchess of York Sarah Fergus Yeah, aka ex-husband of Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew, Bezzi Amates with their recently deceased, Jeffrey Epstein, back to pitos. We couldn't help ourselves.

God damn. We cannot escape. This is totally, we tried to go as middle of the road as possible. What's something that everyone could like? Friends and were just dragged back into pedos. No one in friends is married to a pedophile. Oh no.

They all are. but yeah so like I don't actually know much about Fergie yeah she was like her and Prince Andrew were kind of like the more tabloid kind of royal family members they weren't very respected or particularly like they were kind of like the trailer trash

of the royal family you know because she's out doing like you know glossy magazines and he's you know yeah he's doing much worse than glossy magazines but like think about that just like one step away from like

imagine if they like Joey a lot and they invite him to Jeffrey Epstein's island Yeah yeah Take uh would you like to come on the Lolita Express Hey how you doing Yeah and he meets like this really hot 7 year old

You know And he's like how you doing She's like Please help me I was born in jungle They took me Killed my brothers oh

anyway would you like pitos with that sir yeah how you doing anyway Joey is kind of like I mean he's very the character is very almost misogynistic

I'd say this Joey is too dumb to get me toed ah that's what it is yeah there's no badness to him but he would get me toed yeah that's actually very clever because it always sort of frustrated me how like towards the end of the show

the later seasons his character has become so absurdly ridiculously stupid yeah but then that's an interesting point make him very stupid so his sort of behavior with women questionable as it may be seems more harmless but women kind of look at him maybe that's his master plan where women are just like oh there's no badness in him he's like hey you're a little piece of trash sweetheart little piece of cooos huh yeah he's not even italian this is some french guy yeah so anyway back to the

episode Monica gives a big speech about weddings how important it is but as she's giving a speech kind of like are you talking about Emily or are you talking about yourself yeah maybe someone has some issues she's dealing with we're getting deep here I like that's why

she's so neurotic about the wedding is because she's projecting projecting she even says like as a little girl Emily probably pretended to be a bride and walked around with a pillow Yeah and then Ross is like

Yeah But you were fat You know They used that joke a lot They do Yeah That's kind of It's hard to go

An episode Without she was fat Like nearly every episode Like yeah You used to eat lard When you were younger You ate a dog once She's like yeah

But then they actually Got in trouble For that years later When it got released On Netflix People were like You know The whole thing

Is like She's really fat But then They go back to her In the fat suit And you know People are saying She's not that fat

fat and yeah it's your body shaman and all this shit yeah uh well it wouldn't it's not that like she's fat but the way they portrayed her is like almost like shaggy from scooby-doo where she's eating like sandwiches that are higher than her and she's like running around with sausages hanging over her mouth like it's like very cartoonish i think you know the way fat people like they've always got two pizzas in their hand all times yes every everywhere everywhere they go just eating the chicken Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah, and like, they throw out and there's a whole pile of drumstress behind them. So, she gives this big speech about the wedding, yeah. But then they bring Emily to the wrecked church, and guess what, Ross has put up some shitty Christmas lights.

Yeah, like he got out of B&Q for 12 quid. Yeah, he's like, look at that, and then some reason Emily is completely mesmerized by this. By some fairy lights. Yeah, again, women are written in this show very badly. She's like, shiny lights. I'm sold I will marry you I know that would trick him

Yeah I've written some very bad things about Rachel here Oh go on I'll say well Selfish Rachel then comes along to ruin everything Yeah She hops on a flight to London Yeah

So she's on the plane then And who is she sitting next to her Hugh Laurie Yeah, baby Dr Hoggs pop and vike it in And diagnoses her with a personality disorder yeah yeah crazy bitch what do you think you're doing but no he does he has a go he says what you're doing is terrible

yeah yeah well i like really think about rachel here she is drinking wine and she's talking to a random passenger about how she's going to the wedding and she must have been talking so long that hugh lorry knows about the break yes knows about phoebe knows about all that like and yeah and he's only one speaking sense here yes hugh lorry the voice of reason as always i was interested to cast hugh lorry in it But see, again, it's a British co-production Like there are other British actors

Well, I was going to say as well So we cut to Emily's parents now Played by the wonderful Jennifer Saunders She's fantastic and she's actually really good at it Yeah, Jennifer Saunders Love Jennifer Saunders I've been crushing her as a kid like Man, yeah

You're watching a comic strip? I'm with yeah Man when she was playing The whole joke of that is a dog licking her out That's the joke in that Yes And oh god That did things to you

Oh my God's like I want to beat that dog now she's now the fader is played by tom conti yeah who i didn't know i only know him for that episode but he's also very funny in it i disagree oh really i've always felt like he was miscast do you think i thought he was good he would like when he was like being drunk and whatnot i never believed him fully well did you know him no but i always when i was younger tall he was an american guy playing english oh for some reason i never just believed he was an actual person yeah like Jennifer Saunders I get an idea

of who this woman is straight away she's kind of vain she's on the phone and she's kind of cold this guy he's like

the Tom Conti Conti the father he kind of plays a little bit British like bumbling kind of like he's like a cook

yeah yeah that's true actually yeah and maybe I'm trying to project a bit because I know Jennifer Saunders

in real life is married to Adrian Edmison who's he he's from the young ones oh right right yeah I never watched

the young ones well I always thought he would have been a much better even like better suited to this kind of like sitcom. Yeah, I don't know.

Personally, I liked them. I thought it was funny. Well, at the time I rolled there. And I'm going to read an excerpt from it right now. Dear Tom, I'm outside your house. Do you like your kids? Because I don't. Kitty, if something were to happen to their eyes.

I'm going to take your kid's eyes. By the way, you can cancel that Peksaver's appointment. You won't be needing it. So, Chandler now decides to do with speech. speech. Oh yeah, he gives a best man speech. Well, this is pre-wedding. Is that a commenting? Have you been the many weddings? No, not really. Well, I've been to weddings. I've never been to like a rehearsal party or whatever they call it.

I assume that must be for like friends and family. Yeah, yeah. And I'm neither of those things. To anyone. Okay, so he gives a little speech and he makes a few jokes. Now, he makes three jokes. Two of them I did not understand. Oh, no, neither did I. Because there were like references to things. I'm just thinking like the British audiences know your audience channel

rookie mistake that's like you're doing a crunch you make a joke about Monaghan they're not going to get it oh they'll get it all right

they'll get they don't have a choice I got a spreadsheet I'm going to make them understand yeah they're all going to see no I like to set the scene

I'm from Monaghan so the expectations are low well yeah well Channer doesn't do that Channer goes in full guns blazing the rookie mistake the only joke

that I got was he makes a joke about like he met Ross's first girlfriend but then she was overinflated and the joke being that Ross fucked his sex doll

A lump of plastic shaped crudely like a woman Yeah And he had sex with it Put his dick in it And fucked it till he'd come A demeaning Representation of a woman

And you like that do you Using a woman as an object This is neural linguistic programming You fucking scum I could barely say those words Very higher What's that you mean Neuro

programming there's a theory that the content that we watch is sort of motivated but you know manipulated to like convey certain messages subconsciously like they say that like children's programs and Nickelodeon and like all those old Disney movies neurolinguistic programming of like you know set rules for women how they're all looking for the Prince Trump and blah blah all that should it kind of affects like you know even the most basic thing like women should be bakers and men should be soldiers who kill civilians or dwarfs the gangbanger she's only like 16 in that and they're

a holy shit imagine how weird it must be if you're like a dwarf and you're watching like Snow White you're like is that my life do I have to live out in nowhere with six guys I don't like and then roofie some girl or whatever it is whatever it would ever happen yeah I don't know I don't watch

that shit so back to Chandler in his best match okay so Chandler bombs okay and he's pretty depressed because apparently it was a few guys from Comedy Central there he wanted the spin-off a few big agents there so he bombs he's depressed okay

Monica tries to cheer him up but as she is trying to cheer him up someone comes by I forget if it's a dad or who no it's just some random drunker yeah so he kind of makes a mistake he thinks she's Ross's mother

yes yeah he says oh you must have been very young when you had him or something like that and so now she's down as well. Yeah. So they're both just sitting there

depressed. I was thinking it'd be funny if it turned out Chandler had paid him to say that. Yeah.

He was really big in the negging back in the day like I've read the game, man. Hey,

there could be something too. Yeah, okay. It was a fan theory. Trowlado. So,

like, they're both down and out in London. Yeah. They're both sad. You get two

hot people, they're depressed What's going to happen? They're gonna... Cut to the next scene Ross bursts into the room, okay? It's the morning. Into Chandler's hotel room? Chandler's on his own ice room.

He's flying in bed. I remember watching this. I remember distinctly watching this going Chandler's on his own. No one else in the bed. Chandler's just sitting there. In bed, weirdly like the sheet. Weirdly positioned with the sheet.

Yeah, yeah. I just remember thinking like, hmm, that's the... That's a strange choice It made there But I won't Take anything of it What do I know I'm just some bomb

From Carlo These are the big wings In New York City That's probably how American sleep So Ross bursts He's like

I'm getting married I'm getting married I'm getting married Chanders's like Yeah good for you Yeah I didn't do anything He leaves Yeah

And then guess what The sheet comes down It's Monica Oh my God Yeah And the crowd It is very fun to hear the crowd react to them.

That crowd go mental. Yeah. I almost wished it left it a bit longer to hear more the crowd. Maybe you just hear some Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gross.

Yeah, channel's like time for round two and just goes below. Yeah. Yeah. Might have they did that. No. Might have actually just fucked. Yeah, Channel 4.

We're going to make some changes. It's the 90s. It's cool. retain you I'm gonna see some black anal yeah

let's get the oasis boys Nolan Leam watch yeah they basically double tamert

while one girl plays in the back Nolan lean pull a train both

chander watches that's not what happened no it's just the very so the sheet

comes down and Monica's there and she goes oh I hope he didn't see me proud goes meant

yeah and we cut to something else uh what happens then okay so uh get who shows up now the wedding's happening it's on it's on no turning back day of the wedding this is the day yeah okay okay rato shows up okay is this stupid bitch gonna ruin everything this whore yeah yeah i remember i said that as well i yeah i kicked my television yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember i i was watching it with girl time and was like this is what you do this is what your kind do they ruin

everything they're all evil but then it turns out rachel doesn't tell because she sees the two ross emily together and she sees her in love so she so she decides not to tell just say i'm happy for you then i have to turn to the girl sitting away i'm like i apologize uh it appears that women are not all evil uh please except my sincerest apologies i i regret i regret attacking that planned parenthood clinic. I just wanted to get a tattoo removed. Oh, I know, we were deleted that.

Yeah, we did, yeah. There's no context to that. Well, even better. That's just for the real fans. So she chickens out or comes to her senses, depending on what she thinks, okay? So you're thinking, oh my God,

that's the last, I was worried about that. Okay. But now everything's going to be okay. It's all going to be fine. It's all going to be swimming and daisies. They're going to get married and be happy. They're going to get married.

Helen Baxendale's not going to it's just going to have a long career not going to turn down the great opportunity like this everything's going to be okay okay so they're walking up the aisle Chandler and Monica walking together they have a little bit of banter

which tells the audience that this isn't just a one-off thing there's some romance of blooming yeah they have the kind of fun sick on banter is like oh that was crazy we'll never do that again will we no no no But we're going to do that again, are we? Oh, definitely.

Yeah. Ugh. Chatter just, like, leaves on a standboard. Stick it in my twat. They're like, your guys. There's a wedding happening. You're being incredibly inappropriate. Don't tell me what they do.

I used to be fat. No, no, okay, that happens, okay. Phoebe's on the phone as well. just that you know okay yeah yeah and so um joey's keeping her and track around yeah yeah yeah okay and they're walking up and the wedding starts yeah okay and i think this is i love to know how it would have ended it if she decided to stay oh yeah the episode yeah because this is a great ending i have to say now yeah it's a very iconic ending yeah because what people this is the season finale so this the way this episode ends there's like a good five six months maybe

yeah yeah before they get to see the resolution yeah yeah i think it was less i think the way sitcoms worked it's less time oh okay no definitely not year but anyway it's something to do with the seasons let's yeah so you know yeah well we kind of ruin on the episode no no no well it'd be funny if someone i'd never watch friends yeah they listen to this just to prepare themselves but what happens how does this episode end okay so the priest is like do you take uh ross to be her husband she's like yeah Yes, of course. Yeah. And then he's like, do you take D. Emily? And he says, I take the Rachel.

Yeah. Big, big moment. Once again, audience goes crazy on that. That actually is very enjoyable hearing the audience react to them. Yeah, yeah. Because you can tell it's a genuine shock. That's true. Yeah.

And then all the characters shocked as well. People were really invested in the show. Yeah. Now, for some reason, I thought it ended there. But they actually have an extra little bit. Oh, do they? Yeah, we're like. The priest is like, shall I go on?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Which is like, oh. Yeah. Okay, well, that's great. End it on like it's just a sentence, no joke. Yeah, yeah. Good work, guys. This show sucks.

And now I write another letter. This time in blood. Again, the Tom Conti. What's your fucking problem? I just blame for all my problems. You think this is a game, Tom? I think I'm fucking this in here. Well, I watched that Game of Thrones for now later.

I sent him So that's the end of the season So that's the end of the season Now you said We won't go too much detail You said you watched the next episode Now I forget Was Emily in that much

Or didn't she believe it quite quickly No No you're right actually She was gone very quickly Yeah Yeah And then the rest of the season It's kind of like

I got a phone call from Emily Yeah pretty much Yeah she would barely featured in it actually well a strange choice I just can't go over like she turned that down yeah so that was dumb move on her part

I have to say now she's um in midsummer murders is that right yeah it just looked up her thing there so you know yeah well I guess you know I'm just saying like

Netflix aren't fighting over rights for midsummer murder no yeah so that you watched it yeah I watched it well like I've seen the show a hundred fucking times like I grew up watching

it, you know. I know the episodes fairly fucking well at this stage. So, we've gone through that episode. Yeah. It's hard to rate two episodes in a row. But if you were just a guy who randomly watched, if you were just sitting down and you watched this

show called Friends, and you were just watching these two episodes, he didn't know anything about the back story and everything. Would you think this is good or would you think it's just standard sitcom? No, it's fairly standard. I think, you know, the more popular the more people cared about the characters the less the writers had to try with

they really didn't have to try you know what i mean the people the audience were so invested in the characters love them so much and just love the show so much that they really could they started phoning it in pretty quick what you you could actually do this and i'd love if the writers at the ball do this if they just wrote an episode with no jokes yeah the audience would not notice that's true yeah because it would you just be like you own to the store yeah play the lap yeah and they'd laugh because it's yeah he said yeah yeah they're talking and think how hyped up the audience must be they're watching a live shoot of taping yeah yeah this is like watching Eddie Murphy's delirious yes it's exactly yeah but they're not yeah with the similar ideologies being conveyed and

both yeah but to demo this is insane like yeah they were loving it but yeah no friends for me like it's hard to even you know I just sort of grew up watching it and never questioned it was like yeah of course I like friends it's a good show it's funny But then as I got older and started like re-watching it and kind of watching better comedy. Yeah. You know, you realize, Jesus, this is not very good at all. Like, you know what I mean? But the character, it was such a, you can't really talk too much shit about something that's such a global phenomenon.

They obviously did something right. It's weird. Everything about Friends was perfect for what it was. Yeah. Yeah. Where like, it's almost like penicillin in a way where it was, it was invented. Like half by accident, didn't even realize what it was fully. Yeah, yeah.

And then it became the same. huge thing that like people foreign people only got into it recently because in Netflix and stuff like a lot of my friends are young and they're watching it like the first time that's crazy to me a lot of people think friends is like a show from like

the 2000s they don't even realize this from the 90s yeah yeah like those early seasons are very 90s though they do I kind of forget sometimes just how it really came from different error like you know like the whole thing we're like in the pilot Monica was going to sleep with someone and they're already at the time really worried about oh no if we should if Monica

sleeps it on not she's unmarried so if she sleeps with someone that means she's a slut and then the audience will hate her like that was like they're thinking pretty much yeah and then the writers like no we just Seinfeld do all the time yeah yeah well see you know Seinfeld for whatever reason just doesn't have the same appeal in this country I'd say I'd say it's definitely anybody that knows comedy knows that Seinfeld is a lot better than friends in a lot of different ways. It's just better written. You know,

it's just a better show. Well, even just, they kind of revolutionized the way that... They really did. A sitcom is now where they have an A plot, B, plot,

and they all tie up together nicely at the end. That was all the whole sign-fell thing. It was all revolutionary. Yeah. Which it don't really do that much in friends.

It's more kind of gent... There's only a few times I noticed where it's like, oh, the two plots connect, that's kind of clever. It's normally just like, okay, here's Joey doing something and here's...

Yeah, they all have the... their own separate things that sort of just meander into the best ending they could come up with. Which a lot of times, like, I could watch an episode and you say like, okay, what was the ending? I was like, I don't know. Yeah, it's very forgettable. You just sort of, it just sort of washes over you, but that's its popularity. It's so gentle and easy to take. It's the kind of show you can watch if you're really hungover and you've got the fear and you just want a

comfort blanket. That's what Friends is. It's like a sedative. Well, how ironic is called Friends, because in this world of isolation, the loneliness. I can see why... Brian, you're like a young David Foster Wallace. I know, yeah, and I'm going to end up like David Foster Wallace. Here's hoping.

I've been playing with Jason Segal. A fage worse than death. God, I bet David Foster Wallace is so bad he killed himself. What, the guy from Freaks and Geeks is playing me. Fuck it out, I meant your mother. He's like, it's Franco, isn't it? Franco's playing me, and you're like, no. Oh, God.

but um yeah no you're right yeah people are just lonely now I just want friends to watch this one over and over again nice and simple easy to digest yeah just it's not challenging in any way it's just very easy to watch and then it came on Netflix while going

people fresh eyes saw and you can find problems with yeah it actually was very problematic people were saying it was like homophobic transphobic fat shaming misogynist you know I disagree with a lot of that stuff good but I won't a principal

yeah you're a very principled individual yeah but I won't go in any detail either way of like what I think well I know I love this story

do you disagree with those things I think it disagreed I tell you what there's no like I tell you what Monica's dad Chanders dad's great example of that yeah

he's sassy yes yeah they never portray it like he's a monster who Monica Chandor's dad

yeah well she's his she's trans she's a woman I know but she was his dad that's true yeah I'm saying

yeah she's been played by Kathleen Turner who's just like woman female actress but in like like not stuff she gets a good few uh

yeah she's very yeah she gets a few zingers yeah like the whole thing like you're showing a bit too much skin or you've got too much

penis oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like well in fairness

that's his mother that gives her yeah oh little joke so well I guess I'm just proven myself

okay okay well then let's burn the show let's get rid of it let's kill all the stars mother's played by morgan fairchild who he's that she's just like a hot she's really hot yeah she's an attractive older woman and uh yeah so they have a little back and forth but you're right the woman i even like the gay stuff in it like you know like you're your your ex-wife's a lesbian yeah it's not played like it wasn't like it's not hateful it's not like ace ventura where they'll vomit like like you know like you're you're Yeah, it's like, your ex-wife's a lesbian, blah, like, you know, like that, like, I don't know.

I think it was nice, it was, it was a different time. There was a different time. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, we're going to end this in a minute, but before we go, a nice little exercise like to play, is like to think, like, so friends ended in what, 2004. Okay, what do you think the characters would be doing now? We can end on this. well obviously they're all you know

the way it ended was monica and chanler together and they've adopted kids now that is a relationship that's going to last they play off each other nicely yeah and the the audience really like if they were ever to do a friend's reboot there's no way they could be separated

no you know they'd have to be a loving family now if they did it reboot they could very easy do Ross and Rachel have broken up because that's not a healthy couple at all I've always said they should never have got together She constantly belittles his dinosaurs

That's true He doesn't care about fashion She doesn't care about dinosaurs He is like borderline Like You know He could snap on him And later on episodes

The joke is like Oh he's on the edge of nervous breakdown That's true And he has to be medicated Yeah yeah Which to be honest That's like You know

That was a much better character art Than any of the rest of them had He sort of became this crazy fucking unstable guy And to be honest, I think David Schwimmer did that well. It was always a good dad, though. Yes, that's true. He's always like, he'd never like, do you ever see that movie with Russell Crowe where he drowned?

He's nearly going to drown his kid. No? Oh, Noah? What was it, the Ron Howard movie where he plays like a guy with mental health problems? Oh, I don't know. Oh, beautiful mind. Beautiful mind, yeah, yeah. He never goes like fully like that.

Yeah. But I feel like if he married Rachel, he would snap eventually. Yeah. they just find him and he'd become a killer and he'd be like one of those killers like he leaves like a little dinosaur bone and seen the crime

okay so you think they'd be broken up I think they'd be doing a movie okay they'd be broken up Monica and Chan are still together I'd say Joey's like a big famous actor now yes they do that where like Joey has somehow

won an Oscar because he's just so like lovable well because they owe him for Joey they really fucked him over with that one I only watched one episode of Joey Oh man, it's horrifically bad. The episode of Joe I remember seeing is they make an action figure based on him

his character and something he's doing. Okay. But they make a mistake where there's no white men, action figures. So the choice is you can either be a woman with a woman's body with your head on it or a black man's body with your head on it. Okay?

And the joke is like, one of his friends is a woman and one of his friends is black. And they're like, oh, which one are you going to choose? and he's like, uh-oh. I just want some pizza. And I remember even watching that then as a kid going, it's very contrived. This is...

Why can't it just make another doll? What is going on here? Who are the manufacturers of this product? Why have they put Joey in such a situation? It's absurd. Yeah. Joey was not good. No one's talking...

It's funny, it's completely like just being whitewashed from history. Yeah, people just... It really is like a skid mark on the legacy. your friends oh you're getting a phone call yeah who's that uh it's my dad oh oh yo he's not going like what we were talking no yeah okay we'll end this in a second so they'd be broken up phoebe would still be with your with paul rod they're going they're going they're not

bring paul rod back he's great he was like the only good thing in the last season you know what it's so weird how paul rod came in and it was just completely natural in it he just like the audience really liked straight away like you know yeah but he's very likable but compared to all the other people they brought into the show yeah that just never worked out Brad Pitt that's very weird to watch yeah that's when you really realize like how good an actor like Matt LeBlanc is in terms of like in sitcom style you know yeah because he's doing like I think Brad Pitt thinks he's like seven or something like that like he's like very brooding yeah yeah he's like he's betraying a little bit too serious yes that's true yeah I think he's under jurorice the entire time well he's like

To be honest, that's probably what ended the relationship. After he did that episode of Friends, he went and banged Angelina Jolie. Revenge. Yeah. He was dating Aniston at the time, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah, that's why he's on the show, yeah. Oh, I thought it was like a thing of like they met on the show.

Oh, no, no, no. They were like a big power couple, Jen and Brad, you know. Yeah. So when he came on was a real big deal. But obviously it was like, we have no good ideas, but we have a lot of money, so let's get Brad Pitt on the show. We don't have ideas. We've got Brad Pitt.

So let's just wing it. Yeah, pretty much. much they had Bruce Willis in it Bruce Willis for three episodes Danny DeVito was funny as the stripper as a stripper yeah yeah they've had some

interesting guest did you ever see the episode where Billy Crystal and Robin Williams come into their coffee house and they're just like all arguing and stuff yeah that was his case like they're just outside the studio

basically yeah they were just there they were shooting some movie and they decided let's do a cameo on friends so they just kind of let them do whatever they want I remember that, isn't it? They don't even, like, react. It's just like...

Yeah, it's just very... It's a very bizarre scene, like, it's... Imagine we were that famous. We could just do a little cameo in friends. That'd be great. That would be great. Yeah, yeah. Like, Dennis having coffee, and then, like...

We just walk in. We walk in, then we're like... Who's a Pito? Yeah, yeah. Hey, look, look this Pito here. We played a gunter. Hey, look at this big Pido. Hey.

Whoa. Anyway, well, what's your story? how are you doing hey well you sleep with all women do you rape any of them hey who's with me oh bear boom

bam bam bam bam hey where's Jerry Jerry yeah I think we'll look at end it there yeah that was fun I enjoyed that night it was fun

Now, sneak peek, next episode, Rambo. Talking about Rambo, last blood. We've gone from Friends to Rambo. Very natural progression, I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just as much problematic stuff in Rambo. Oh, just before we go, I was thinking it'd be funny if, like, they had a reboot of Friends, but it's all woke. Yeah.

And Chandler's mad because his dad isn't trans. Ah, yes, that would be good. Yeah, that'd be really progressive. And then, okay, and then, like, think about, monicas, they're all make things. jokes with the fact she used to be skinny. Yeah, yeah. But now... Now she's fat, yeah. And she's big and proud. You go, girl.

She's big and proud. She's big and proud. And you was a little tweed. I don't know why anyone would sound like that. Yeah. Matt Perry, please stop. Yeah, David. David Swimmer made an interesting choice in the reboot. Because you know the epit, you know what he has the fake tan.

That's true. They go very dark. Which, you know, that's what True Dole should have said. It's all come full circle Okay, we're going to end it Alright, thanks for listening guys I've been there for you Love life, end it

Goodbye