Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 35 : Life Itself is Awful

Episode Date: October 10, 2019

Brian watched a film called Life Itself......it was shit.

another episode here we are another episode we haven't left just the Joker review yes please go listen to our Joker episode and get annoyed at us

for the things we say he said nothing wrong in the episode not at all I just hope listeners can't hear the kids like playing and stuff like that yeah because there's a lot of kids

outside my place running around and I wrote it to the council but there's so many of them like you haven't even seen them all Like, sometimes I go out to my car. I've seen all of them. Sometimes I go to my car as like 12 kids

just running around the place. Just hanging around your car. Hey, old man. Take us for a ride. And like I start the car and it won't even like move sometimes. Like I have to like beat my horn and like, you know. Maybe nudge them with the bumper a little bit. Yeah, it won't do anything, but.

Yeah, yeah. And like there's so many of them around. It's kind of like, um, I was thinking, you know they have like those safaris for rich people. Yeah. Where like you can shoot an animal, but like the animal's kind of like, like it's in a pen so it's really easy to shoot it and it's sedated and stuff yeah yeah it's kind of like

it'd be so easy just to get one of those kids like because they're just all over place and they wouldn't expect someone who lives in the community like no i guess they wouldn't unless you record a podcast where you detail plans and they're all dressed up like Halloween stuff now oh right yeah do you get a lot of fireworks around here actually I'm not sure I've been around here on the Halloween okay yeah oh wait could I ask you actually before we go anywhere do you remember a couple of weeks ago

or the last time we recorded and you told me about your dog passing? Yeah is it still in your hallway? I haven't looked. Oh okay. I haven't been down to the house. Haven't been back? Yeah, yeah. Okay. For fear of the stench of death. I have to wait until it's just a skeleton. Oh, okay. No, no, there's

everything, no dead dogs up here. Okay, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, I like what you're done at the place. I mean, like, this house is shit. ended up in right now but there's no dead dog so that's what you pay for every cloud and all that

so I talked for today's episode yeah we could talk about a film and I would like describe the film to you because we did Rambo and stuff like that

and that was kind of fun yeah yeah so it's how we could do another one and um so what is this movie see this film wasn't as interesting or as entertaining

as Rambo because I looked up like it's meant to be a shit film right so I watched it but wasn't like the really entertaining type of shit Yeah, it was just badly made

And a tedious What was it actually? It's called Life itself Life itself Yeah, it's by a first time director Who created the show This Is Us I already don't like it

Okay, if you're heard This Is Us is a drama It's all about people Yeah, and so like This is our lines I've got cancer I got cancer I was raped

You know that kind of stuff Yeah, yeah The laugh track is probably In protest I think But anyway, yeah Yeah It's kind of like a modern day friend Equal comedic value

Yeah So it's his first film And there's a huge bidding war time Who wanted it And Amazon Studios finally God And I think Day Tots could be The next like Manchester What you see

Okay Like a real hard-hitting drama Yeah next Oscar tender Definitely Right right So I'm going to tell you The start of this film

And the star of his mad It's kind of bad Because the first few minutes Are very entertaining And after that Notting It's such a difference so the film is broken up in chapters

and the film this life itself now released about two years ago the title of the first chapter is called the hero narrated by Samuel L. Jackson that's the name of the chapter oh right okay so it starts off

it's actually narrated by Samuel L Jackson okay and he's going like welcome to the film okay let's get the lights on let's start let's see your main character and they show this guy and already you're like just a little bit outside the box what's going here, okay?

Samuel Jackson's breaking the four wall already. I haven't even, like, started the film basically. Never break the fourth wall. It's there for a reason. Okay, and he's saying, like, this is our main character, okay? And he's gay. He's super gay.

He's Billy on the street level gay. That's what they say, okay? Wait, no. They do, they say Billy on the street. Are you serious? Wow. Yeah, yeah. Like, he's so gay, but he's not one of those gays

where it does not define me, that kind of thing, okay? And he's our character. And then he says, and now he's going to start talking. And then the gay guy is talking about, like, yeah, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should choose him or what should I do. Like, I don't know if I've fating this guy and Samuel Jackson, like, yeah, preach, brother, preach. You know, I can relate.

I'm not gay, but I can relate. I do, Tam. Okay. And it turns out the gay guy is talking to his therapist, but he's talking about fantasy football. Oh, okay. Yeah. So he's like, okay. And it just pisses off Samuel Jackson.

Okay. Yeah, he's like, what? I thought you were gay. Ah, please. Okay. So he goes, let's focus on the therapist. Yeah, let's see that. Ooh, I like what I see.

Look at this white girl. Okay, so they focus. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really, like, sexualizing the therapist. It's like, ooh, look at that. Oh, I like, yeah. Oh, I like what I'm seeing. So he's the therapist.

And then he's like, now this is the hero of our story. So she's walking a lot. now she's leaving the office she's walking along she bumps into Oscar Isaac okay okay who plays the therapist is a some unknown woman okay well that I didn't know I think she's a very talented actress okay okay so she's walking along she bumps into Oscar Isaac I'm like oh hi hi and she's walking across the street Oscar Isaac's like big fan she turns around to say something she's hit by a bus oh okay everyone's screaming okay and also and Samuel Jack's like oh my God what's going he runs onto the

screen. Sennel Jackson does? As himself? As himself, yeah. It turns out they've been filming and this is an accident. Oh, wow. And Samuel Jackson's like,

oh, I'm out of here and runs away. Okay. The tone of this is very hard to gauge. Is it like comedy? That's what you don't know at the start.

What's going on? Then Oscar Isaac, all right? He's looking at this dead woman on the street. He's like, this is crazy. And he looks over at the bus. All right. And there's a little

child in the bus little Mexican child I'm not I know it's Mexicans we find out later on okay more about it and you're like what is going on here

okay next scene that was all the screenplay the Oscar Isaac is writing oh okay so we cut to him in his office writing on a

no he's in Starbucks oh okay he's in Starbucks but he's taking pills he's drinking he doesn't look too good he's got a scraggly beard okay

yeah and even like you know like yeah they're like your coffee's ready so he's like yeah okay and he just starts pouring some vodka into it like

make a little bit this you know and he's like singing Bob Dylan's song's real loud and he's like

he stumbled around the place so he's off his face basically yeah yeah they're like please leave

sir it's like yeah whatever I was a traveling man you know it's like

and Chunky and McDonald's working on a screenplay all right there's the star yeah I've got me

three act structure here yeah fucking sound the hero's journey eh

you know Joseph of Campbell, yeah, fucking whopper, boys, eh. Okay, so at this stage, you're like, okay, so he's a screenwriter. That was all just to set up, okay, a little bit to start. They had Samuel Jackson

for like a day to use them, okay? Okay, now I know what's going on. We then cut to the past where Oscar Isaac has a wife played by Olivia Munn. Oh, shit. And she's pregnant. Right. And she's going on about, like, oh, I love Bob Dylan, and he's like, I hate Bob Dylan.

So you're already, like, it's a bit of a thing Hey, he, in the future, he's singing about Delph Dylan. And where's the wife? Hmm, what's going on? Question mark. And they're a really cutie couple, like really cutie. He's got a dog called fuckface. Okay, dog called fuckface.

I don't like that. No, I don't like that either. There's something about, like, I know couples like that, they call their dog, like, hate cuntballs. Not, that's, you know, yeah, but like, um, what was that? I'm trying to think, like, there's actually some couple I know that had a dog was like something like shit, shit stain or something. it was something like shite it was like shite

it was like shite or something like yeah yeah yeah so the dog's called fuck face and they're like

hey fuck face yeah I'm gonna fuck your face yeah yeah my dog my dog's

lucky one this is a director's code of 101 Dalmatians I'm gonna fuck everyone he is

oh korella is cruel okay So they're a cutie couple And they're in bed together, okay And she's like, oh, I love Bob Dylan He's like, yeah, he sounds like got cock in his mouth

Okay And that's supposed to be a funny scene Right, right Then she stands up, turns out she's pregnant Yeah Okay And, uh, we're like, Okay, so things are going out

Well from next scene It's back in the future now He's talking to his therapist All right And the therapist is a woman that got hit Oh, okay Oh, right So he's like, I've been trying to write

This screenplay, you're in it actually oh okay you're in it now you might not like it and he's like he's been real crass with therapist it's like yeah it's been two months

since my wife left I tried jerking off and I was thinking of her didn't work I tried jerking off thinking to you didn't work either no offense Oscar Isaac now

he's a likable guy he's really pushing in this film yeah okay yeah yeah so they keep saying stuff like oh it's been a while

since your wife left oh I think of go it down now and they do like they do keep saying like it's been two months since your wife left this is like what they had to say around

OJ every time they're hanging it's been oh how long has it been since she oh yeah I'm just going to cut it now so we're coming back and forth between like happy Oscar Isaac and sad Oscar Isaac painting a real picture of his life like there's a bit where like they go to meet

Oscar Isaac's parents okay and it's played by Mandy Pataken is actually the father who Mandy Pataken he was in Princess Bride and home and stuff like that I've never seen Princess Bride or Homer He's a good actor okay

Okay So the Olivia Munn is pregnant They meet the cup They meet the Oscar Isaac's parents And the parents are kind of like A little bit embarrassing Like the mother even says like Oh I've always dreamed my son

Would bring home a woman Who has dead parents Because her parents are dead So I don't have to share the grandkids And they play it off like Jesus. Yeah, the phial's like,

what is she on the spectrum or something? Mom, you can't say that. I'm glad they're dead! I can say what I want. PC is killing comedy. Okay, and they also do another flashback of them meeting in college.

Okay. Pulp fiction party. Oh. Yeah, so they're dressed like Pulp fiction characters. Okay. Which really has a vibe of like film school. Yeah, sure.

I'm going to do a Pulpiction reference so they know what film buff I am. Yeah. They'd be like, whoa, you new reference Pul fiction you must know a lot about cinema gnarly yeah yeah so it's like you think like hey they're all going well okay uh what could go wrong um guess what you know when they kept saying she left yeah she didn't leave what happened they're walking home from the parents yeah she got hit by a bus oh no so now you see why in the screenplay it's uh there's a bus accident as

well. Yeah, I'm actually annoyed by that because that's rather derivative, Oscar Isaac, yes. I mean, I know they say right what you know, but for God's sake, try and invent something, dear boy. Bus crash, really? Really? What about helicopter accidents? Come on, man. You need to get the butts in the seats,

bro. Helicopter crash into monster truck. That's what he wants to. And some big titted ladies with a machine gun. Okay, so his wife got hit by a bus. And now the tariff's like, come on, let's really talk about your wife. He was like, you want to talk about my wife? I'll tell you about my wife.

And I don't know he does like, I honestly go out square as a 10 minute monologue about his wife's history. Really? Now, they kind of spice it up by having him appear in flashbacks. Okay.

The other thing they do sometimes like the flashbacks happen and the thing the therapist standing at the corner going like, this is it. Yeah, kind of like fucking Muppets Christmas Carol. Yeah, no. Exactly like that.

I'm going to say the wife's backstory now and you take them up with Christmas Carol. Okay. Turns out they even go into like how her parents met. Okay. So her parents met, they're both primary school teachers, or whatever the equivalent is in America,

and they meet, like, and they do a kind of cutey bit where, like, the father talks, and, like, she's, like, eating a sandwich. She goes, oh, and she dropped a little bit of sandwich over her mouth. He goes, you fucking pig. Sorry. Make up first. And he gets, like, what is it, some watermelon and puts it in for him?

There you go. Chow to head, yeah. So they fall in love. They're both primary school teachers. They have Olivia Munza baby. Yeah. Everyone's going well. Then they die in a car crash.

Jesus Christ. Nobody can drive in this fucking movie. And they do a little thing Ross Garzicks go like the worst part. She was stuck in that car for an hour and her father been decapitated. Yeah, that's right. She there, he was there for a whole hour looking at her dad's decapitated corpse. Really adds a little something to your coffee, doesn't there? Something like that, like really makes you tink it eat in your cereal, doesn't it?

Yeah. You think about that next time you're having your Cheerios. You bitch. see it's a therapist like yeah you never heard anything as fucked up as this have you move over Joker okay so then we find out she's adopted

by Uncle Joel oh here we go of course the way they film Uncle Joe we never see his head to show his mean old body okay yeah yeah and they said Is he wearing a wife beat her? No

no no so Uncle Joe who molested her until until at the age of 15 she borrowed a gun off a gangbanger and shot Uncle Joe in the leg This is the most melodic piece of shit I've ever heard of them

They literally say At the age 15 she borrowed a gun off a gangbanger They never go into like Who was the gangbanger Would she meet the gangbanger What was her history with the gangbanger? Why was there a gangbanger? None of that like it's just like

Did they show her like Shooting Uncle Joe in the leg And like get the fuck out of the house and Oscar is like to that purpose Pretty badass Yeah Yeah

Now you can see Why I want her To be a mother My child Because she's fucking cool And she smokes Marboretts Yeah

Yeah So this is all In the big long Monologue Flashback thing The only thing I liked About the flashback bit

There's one scene Where they show like A happy moment At them playing in the snow Okay And in the background All the other characters

Are also his wife They're also Olivia oh okay and I was like oh that's a nice little thing here of the only thing's for her and it didn't like focus on it too much yeah it's like that's almost a little

it's like that's seeded being John Malkovich ever see there exactly that's what I take it back actually they're just copying B and John Malkovich they are aren't they? This film's even more shit I just ruined the one thing you liked about it then we cut back to them in college again and now they're in college but it's

they're literally to have Oscar like longer hair okay they don't look like college students right all right and it turns out she's discover what our thesis is. So, like, Olivia Munn's working on art thesis. How to shoot your molesting uncle with a gangbangers gun

after your dad was decapitated. And it's somehow related to feminist studies. Make sure you use the Harvard reference and system. Sorry, what's her thesis? Her thesis would be unreliable narrators. Oh! And she's got, she's this whole thing about, you know what, the real,

you know, the real, the real, the real, unreliable narrator is life itself. Oh! dropping some knowledge that's name of the film is yes it is wow that's genius that is genius I take it all back yeah so we've okay we find out she's dead and we're like okay and then another big twist is she was pregnant when she got hit by the bus okay okay the baby survived don't really go into how that's yeah it doesn't make sense don't go how and they're like your child your daughter's still alive Oscar Isaac you haven't seen

her in two months you have to go see her why has she been in hospital no he's been in the looney bin you find out that's what they say I don't say luny bin I say mental shack spastic brigade

yeah sorry but anyway so like you have to go see your door and it's like no I'm going to go see my wife and he pulls out a gun and shoots himself oh my god where where did this happen in the therapist office how does he have a gun if he's been like

you know, under observation or anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was a great scene now. What the fuck. He pulls out, shoots himself the therapist off, what's funny is, so it's a big, p, wall covering in blood. He falls the ground, and therapist goes, oh, and just walks out. She doesn't run out. She just walks out, as if, like, she's used to it.

Jesus, good. Really, I'm not very good at this job, am I? Not again. Marco, come on, yes, clean up. Hold my calls. Okay. so yeah both parents are dead what what about this kid then does it ever chapter two

that was chapter one chapter two dylan dempsey now dylan's the daughter they named her after bob dillon yeah that's cheesy by the way that was exactly what she was going to say right for her hit by the bus she was like uh oh i know i'm going to call her daughter and he was like i know what is. She's like, yeah, we're going to call her dip, you know, bwam, and then they welcome baby Derek into the world. So we get Dylan, okay?

Yeah. Just a little girl. And we kind of go to her life. She's been raised by Oscar Isaac's parents now. Okay. And, um, I don't know, this whole bit here was kind of boring, so I didn't make too many notes. Like, there's a lot like cutesy stuff. Like, the narrators is a different woman now, by the way.

It's a new narrator. Okay. Not Samuel Jackson. Well, Samuel Jackson started narrating through that whole first segment no he only narrow to start and then when

the therapist kept by the bus he was like I'm out and he ran away and that was it so it's narrated by a mystery

woman we don't know who this new woman is okay right right it's not Dylan Dempsey

anyway Dylan Dempsey um she's had a hard life you know of course murdered killed by bus dad

shot himself yeah yeah um and do a lot cutty stuff or like she talked

to her granddad and the narrator go like what she wanted to say was this and it's like you know I am

I'm so troubled by what's happening I wonder will this affect my whole life you know will ever be able to recover from my traumatic childhood but instead she's like I'm scared you know you know and it's like keep doing that kind of thing of like what she wants to express and what as a child she can't express you know yeah yeah yeah so you already hate this kid and then they immediately cut to her and like she's 18 she's sexy oh she's wearing tights and she's like in a punk band all right oh right of course and uh she's doing god she was like a punk version of a Bob Dylan song

which is I must have been the liberty shit on purpose because it's so bad what song I don't even know it was just like

yeah it was just like real loud guitars and you're like oh what's going on here right right and then she immediately after the gig she just gets in a fight

with someone she glasses someone like she's like she's just making out with a guy and some girls are taking a picture and goes hey fuck you bitch and punches the girl right in the face

like she's like out of control right okay yeah and then it's just it's snowing, she's wandering on the streets and she sits on the park bench in the same street where a mother got hit by the bus like 20 years earlier. Okay, right. And then she has like a flashback

to the mother getting hit even though she wasn't there. Well, technically she was there. Oh, you're right. Well, listen to this though, she's a flashback. When the flashback she sees the Mexican kid in the bus. Okay. Wow. I'm just like, how would that?

She wouldn't remember that, would she? you wouldn't remember that. I thought you were like going to reveal something. No, no, no. Well, actually I'm going to kick. Okay. So the narrator kicks in again and goes, that kid's name, the little Mexican kid in the bus was named Gonzales. Okay. I forget what his first name is. Chapter 3, the Gonzalez family. Ah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now we're outside of America now. And what, wait, does it end with just her on the bus? Her on the bench. On the bench. On the bench, looking at the spot where the flashback. Okay, right, right. And looking sad. And then, you know, we're like,

That's the problem with millennials. Go, bitch in the morning. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get to work. If it's not climate change, it's your mother getting hit by a bus. So, so far in this, what are you thinking? I think it sounds really melodramatic and stupid as fuck. It is, okay. Well, at least you're kind of like you're following the pattern of like,

okay, it's Oscar eyes. fucking this and this and now he's dead I guess we're with the daughter now I guess this is the film now and like okay we're in Mexico now what the fuck you're like oh really my first thought I was like I have to learn more character names

I just want this film be over and like it's like it's start it keeps rebooting itself yeah you have to like fan interest all over again now another thing about this next Gonzales part is the I watch this online

and the stream I watch it not have subtitles oh my god and this is all a Mexican are you serious yeah that's hilarious so I just kind of watched it and like made up my own minds

I think everything's going well like there's people crying he's like they must be very happy he's beaten his wife oh what a loving relationship yeah look all you're reading

and like I think there's some subplot with like I think there's like the mothers like it's like a family it's like a father mother kid and I think some other guy who's like they're having an affair or something like that

but I don't think that really is part of the plot All you need to know is at some stage like let's go to America and then they're an American and I'm like oh okay

I kind of like know what's going to happen now okay so it's their first time in the big city so I need to hop in a bus all right and this little kid

I wish I could have actually remember his name I wrote it down somewhere oh it doesn't matter like Gonzal which is a little kid okay he's on the bus

and he's so happy be on a bus he's waving hello to everyone you know yeah hello hello I'm on the bus and one of the pastors a little magic trick where he pulls a kind out of his ear which for some reason they all like go ooh where you know you know you should be like he should be like shun for doing somebody that stay away from my kid yeah pretty much like an actual New York like an American kid if you did that tip people like get the fuck away my kid we're trying to bring whimsy to his life you fucking pito yeah yeah Oh, Jesus.

Okay. So, they're on the bus. They're on the bus. He's waving. He's saying hello to the bus driver. And the bus driver, just immediately turns, goes like, hello. Hands off the wheel. Gives them all.

Okay. Welcome to a great country. We're nothing traumatic will happen. We're focused now, so we can see the bus getting closer to Olivia Munn. But it's still a fair distance away. So you're like, he could. still stop, but he's still talking this little kid, like, and then

bump, okay? Oh, Jesus. That's hilarious. So, um, they hit the, they hit the, uh, pregnant woman. Yeah. The bus stops, uh, little kids, like, shocked, okay? And he looks out the window and he sees Oscar Isaac.

Okay. Okay. Cut to the little kids is like 19 now. All right. Okay. Yeah, okay. Right. And he, uh, they go into the whole thing. Oh, I know where this is going.

don't yet we still got an hour left probably took me a lot longer to figure it out than it's shut off but yeah yeah so they're gonna hook up well no there's another two pages okay all right all right all right so we go into the whole thing like that didn't traumatize him though he managed to like okay because he's mexican you know they're harsh you know they're tougher than americans they're seen some shit they're tougher than white girls you know that's true well like you know american girls i say like yeah yeah so he like he went to school he studied hard he was like number one like the track team like swimming team he was like great algebra english uh everything okay okay model student he got ripped as well like you know shredded he's a big

hot beef kick and he even got himself a little american girlfriend called sherry now he even the even says he didn't love her but it's fun to have her around oh but sherry ain't fun to be around she's really annoying oh is she and just to prove how annoying sherry is the only scene we see her in it starts off for her going like I got something tell you I'm pregnant

okay and she's all like we can do every you want I don't know what it's like over Mexico if you like

abortion or not I don't care the way I'll have the baby I won't have the baby I just want to decide quickly because I don't want

to start getting head and like I don't want to start having like a head and legs because then it's like weird

to abort it okay that's like okay and like you know this Mexican guy is like

or he's fucked up up here but he's like trying to make a good guy and then she's like Guess what? April Fools!

Oh my God. Yeah. And she's like, do you have that in Mexico? And he's like, no. She's like, oh,

well, how am I supposed to know? Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah. That's so weird. Again, the tone of this movie just seems all over the place.

And there's a lot more here that I'm going to skip over because you kind of got the reveal. Yeah, they're going to hurt. up So the big thing then is This is all in Mexican

Like I think the The kid He goes back to Mexico And his mother's dying of cancer He breaks up with Sherry by the way Oh good Yeah Oh sherry was awful

She's only in it for like two minutes I'm like please stop She was like really Really plain to like Oh my god Like that really like a guy Yeah yeah So his mother's got cancer in Mexico

And like you know She dies and I think he becomes friends with the lover. I think the two dads or show up or something. The only way, like, it was two guys. Oh, she was having an affair? Yeah, I think the two. Turn out the other guy.

I'm not sure. It was all in Mexican. Ah, okay. Well, I seemed like it all worked out for the best. The mother died and the guys. They all high-fived and pissed on her corpse. We both fucked her. Woo!

Hey, I was in there too. Woo! Yeah. So, he goes back to New York and he's like, Oh, what big city? I don't know what she's sitting. I don't know what's sitting.

What does he do? He goes for a little walk. He sees the girl crying on the bench. Oh, no. And then he immediately goes up to her and is like, are you okay? And she's like, oh. And then it says, the narrator says, and they were together for the next 40 years. Ugh.

We cut to the future again. So we start off in the future. No, we don't see them. We see the daughter. Okay. Okay. Of Dylan and the Mexican man. Oh my God.

And she's written a book called Life Itself. And she's out of book signing, okay? She's out like a book reading. Okay. I have a really full book reading. Like it's like, you know, it must be really popular books.

It's like the Harry Potter novels, you know? Are people dressed as wizards? No, they're dressed as characters were in a book, so it's like, one's dressed like a pregnant woman with a cover of blood. And one's dressed like a man with like a fake hole in his head. somebody's dress is a bus driver

yeah yeah and then so it's the daughter wrote book about her family and she's like you know I am all that happened this crazy life

this unpredictable life that we live made me who I am today and in the end isn't that like the meaning of Christmas or the fuck you know

then she closes the book alright she closed the book so many guns up with a gun shoots her in the head. Kill the phone meets.

Mark David Chapman. Or it turns out like there's a bit I missed in the Mexican part where it's like dealing with the cartel or something like that. Or like Rambo shows up. Because she's the half blood. Rambo, read my book. I'm not going to read your book,

you done bitch. Oh, God. The old racist Rambo shows up to finish the job. Wait, so is that the end then? There's one final scene. Okay. where like we cut back to the fucking Oscar Isaac

and his pregnant wife, Olivia one in bed and he looks up and goes hey cut the black that's horrible and that's life itself that's horrible I hate it I hate that film I've never seen it I hate it you've seen that's all you need to know

that is just awful oh my god how is that piece of shit like that and like good actors and stuff in it like very good like Oscar Isaac is He is a good actor. Olivia Moulton's great as well. Even the girl playing Dylan, the Doreen, she's very good.

The guy playing, I really wish it was called Mexican Guy. I really wish I knew his name or the actor's name or anything like. But I think the whole Mexican cast as well, they're all very good. I tell you what, I watch that. I watch those scenes in a different language. Yeah, but you still got. I could kind of tell by the emotions what was going on. See, but that to me doesn't indicate a good film.

Really? Oh, I'm not saying it's a good film. Okay, well that's true. I'm just trying to look at the bright side. I'm just trying to see nice things with the Mexican cast. Yeah, that's awful. What inspired you? Why did you want to watch this movie?

Because you heard it was so bad? I heard it was kind of bad, but I wish I'd looked up a film that had more shit about it. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of bad but uninteresting like so. There's large, because I covered the, like, we described down like half an hour. There's large portions of them just like, like, you know the start of like, like, you know the start of like, like, like, like we see them like being a happy couple and then we cut back and forth

to him and the therapist took a sad and the copy couple that goes on for ages and we realized pretty early on okay something bad happened here his wife's probably dead but like we just they keep going like

your wife left and she's not coming back she's gone almost if she went to her place that you can't go to unless you shoot yourself it was very disappointing I kind of like

you'll even see you in my notes here I'm very detailed detail to start Yeah Like plot points And by the end It's like Yeah

You're just bored of it Yeah Yeah I wish I picked a better film But like I watched it And I was like I'm not gonna I go to waste

Because I had to watch it So you might You might as I get something Out of it And I wouldn't have talked But the only fact Like The fact of Oscar

Isaac Kills himself Yeah I was like I suppose that's good enough It's got one suicide In it It's like

I give this film One Suicide Oh, Jesus So that was life itself That was life itself Look, that's a nice little, like That's a nice little recap now We may watch another film

That's worse We should, yeah You know, it's Halloween now Or October, we should watch them Like, real bad horror movies I watched the Friday 13th remake The one from 2009 Yeah, you watched them

I have, yeah, yeah Yeah, geez, we do an episode about that Yeah, yeah No, I couldn't, this one be much to talk about. No, not really. See some nice tits and I'll tell you, no suicides in that though. No, no. No need.

No need. Yeah, Jason does it for you like. Say, no time to be depressed in Camp Crystal Lake, you know? In Camp Crystal Lake where you're just partying and smoking reefer and doing the deed, man. You know one thing, I'll end in a second. This is like a weird little fantasy I have.

I've always taught, God, that'd be kind of cool. And this happens with a few horror films. A guy would be, like, having sex with a girl doggy style. Yeah. And then... The killer comes up behind him and, like, stabs him. Yeah. I always thought that'd be a pretty cool way to go, like...

Doing somebody doggy style. Yeah, yeah, because, like, you get, like... You're like, you're like, you're like, a second of, like, I'm dying, but my dick's still, like... You're coming and dying. Yeah, like, oh, no. You're literally coming and going at the same time. Hey, ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba.

And you're trying to tell that joke to Jason. reducing it gets and you always get to seeing the girl like freaking out which is kind of fun as well yeah yeah it's also good sometimes I've seen in some horror films

like they'll kill him but the girl doesn't realize straight away yeah yeah so she's still fucking but it's almost as soon as the knife goes in it's like she's like it almost got better

and so yeah yeah it's like what well that would be a very empowering female horror thing or like these two women and their whole thing

is like they kill men and the best part of sex is when the man dies like if he comes and dies so you're banging a dude and then you kill him while you're banging him yeah yeah

okay that would be like the greatest trill of all I'm sure that has wasn't that in basic instinct where she should I've never seen that film we should do that one actually

we could do basic instinct yeah yeah let's do basic instinct but we only talk about one scene I'm never even seen that scene I know, I know the reference She shows her vulva Yeah, yeah Yeah

Well, it's very You just get a very quick glimpse You know, but yeah It's very, very sexy You know, Wayne Knight is in that scene Newman from Seinfeld Oh really? Hello, Newman

He's just like staring at her vagina Basically watering at the mouse Yeah, there's a few guys who are in the room and they're all like every time she does it they're like very unsuttle like really shifting her look at it! Oh, it looked

at me! He's got a curse on it! Yeah, pretty sure she shaved as well. No hair. This is like the 80s or the 90s. Well, we can watch that. Yeah, that sounds way better than like myself. Yeah, it does. Yeah, there's a lot of banging in that scene. I remember you I saw it when I was like 14 but they only watched it so I could see Sharon Stone

naked, basically. Is she naked in it? Yeah, she gets her chintzai, yeah, yeah, she's banging, there's quite a few sex scenes, like... What's the plot? Basically, Michael Douglas is a cop, and there's this serial killer going around killing people, and he's pretty sure it's Sharon Stone,

but he can't prove it, but he's, like, banging her the whole time, and he's banging his own therapist. He bangs a lot of women in it, basically. Well, he's Michael Douglas. Yeah, well, that's true. It's a very sexual film A lot of sex in it

In my head This sounds kind of dumb But I knew basic instinct I just kind of assumed like It was just that scene For two hours Just over and over Kind of like a meme

It was the first meme Feature Length meme I never put much thought into it It's like it's the film Where she shows her vagina And that's it I never thought I was like

You were saying it's serial killer plot I was like oh wow I don't think actually It's a serial killer I think they know that she's killed someone they're trying to prove it and then she goes to kill again.

But even then I'm like that sounds like a real movie where I thought you could though back in the days just do a scene like yeah like a gift that was it yeah open legs those legs

open legs those legs word of mouth and it was like one of the biggest films ever it's not a particularly good film it's kind of shout from what I remember I just remember like

there's a lot of sex in it and I was 14 and we didn't have the internet so needs must as they say in my living room late at night alone. My family

actually listen to this podcast, you know? My siblings do. But they are freaks as well, so it's fine. You're talking about masturbating to, like, well, who's the woman again? Sharon Stone. Sharon's the one of the most beautiful women of us.

Yeah, she's gorgeous. Yeah, yeah. And I was a hormonal teenage boy. I said you were wanking off the way in nice. Hello Newman! Yeah. And then I play the the side film music.

Oh, yeah. Okay, let's end it there. All right. So, yeah, the next episode is going to be Basic Instinct. I don't know. We'll do an episode just us bullshit and we'll do

a basic instinct episode. Oh, no, that's what I meant. We're gonna, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll watch it first, obviously, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or we just, like, make up our own story. You half remember it and I just make up my own things. And she's got a dick.

Yeah, she does. It's basic instant 2019. We've made a few changes. I'm going to end there. Yeah, well, thanks for less to.