Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 37 : The Irish Harvey Weinstein?

Episode Date: October 11, 2019

Who could it be?

and we're just back from buying some drugs yeah that's right James is rolling up right there I'm skinning up baby oh it's like the last days of Rome this is getting cool right now yeah I feel like I'm in training day yeah I'm making you smoke this

so I know you're cool I've got a gun to your head but the gun is mine it's very confusing I brought the gun I've got another gun in my head as well it's like ooh let's get crazy here don't make me do it yeah so yeah we just bought some

drugs. We did. It was a bit of an awkward transaction. It was a bit awkward, yeah. Well, all drug, I find a lot of drug deals are awkward. Yeah, I think you and I are far too sort of bumbling to do a cool stealthy drug deal. We don't show up and like, yo, you got it. You got shit, man.

And we're like, oh, can we have drugs, please? We're literally in a car listening to BBC Radio 4. We actually were. Just sitting there, be like, where is he? Talking about, like, reviewing a new movie adaptation of Shakespeare or something. going real in depth in it and we're like where is this guy is some little kid on a bike talking about like all the women he's banging and stuff he's on in like 14 and we're

like please give me the weed uh and he that 14 year old kid is banged way more women than us like oh yes absolutely made him come way more than us where like we don't even know what a vagina is you know we just put it in and pray to allah you know we don't know us go we don't know us go yeah it was weird that how long was that like 20 minutes yeah we're written for ages yeah he said be with us. What was you saying inside? You'll keep the lights off. There's a lot of heat around. Keep the engine off. Just sit there. I'll be with you in a few minutes and then it was like

20 minutes there were just sitting there like. Well like there were other people who were there and they were looking at us and we were looking at them. They were there also purchasing something. Also just regular people walk past and I'd be looking at them and kind of like, you know what you're trying to say about like, are you a drug dealer?

Or it's getting my best Paddington's day or you know? See we were thinking the women walking with the children probably aren't drug dealers but is the dog so yeah it could be way off they could have like hid the drugs up the kid's ass that's damn good hiding place

and you pretend to like change the diaper and yes I am speaking from experience yeah well yeah pretend to change the diaper in public but really just fishing out the heroin yeah yeah

you get it to them so it looks like you're just giving some baby shit but actually it's brown oh yeah it's a good brown so we got back now yeah we're back

smoke it up gonna smoke this spliff how often you be smoking these days every day man nice smoke weed every day no it's not good it's very bad i need it to just blur out the mundane edges of my life i write a lot on stones i come up with ideas on a stone yeah actually it's true like my little my favorite thing is to smoke a tiny little bit not too much now just right just a tiny little bit yeah yeah i always smoke not enough i feel like in the moment I'm like, I should get more or not, but like, no. And then I'll do some writing. Yeah. See? Most of it would be like the notebooks in a joker.

My life makes no sense. But some of it will actually funny. Yeah, I've come up with some good ideas stoned, like, and like bits that I've tried out and they've worked and stuff. But like, it's not like a, I don't you know, get stoned the purposes of

coming up with ideas, but I'll just, I'll think of something. But you know, when you're really stoned, your mind starts kind of racing and starts like going to all different directions and you come up with something though that you never would have really thought of by yourself if you know what I mean just sort of happened in the racing thoughts thing

I find those and I'm really still in them trying to write the ideas will not come out right and it'd be hard to even like write it down properly yeah to articulate it properly and things that seem really important in the moment I look back at afterwards and be something like you know what was I thinking yeah but no be really something

really simple like if you're in a plane you're in the sky but at the time I was like whoa that's observation I'm doing observational comedy I'm Seinfeld

I'm Seinfeld like actually I text you something yesterday which I thought was really funny but in retrospect was just like stupid and probably been done a million times always Picard yeah yeah like I like to watch movies and pretend that they're

they're playing their better known characters but then you got me thinking about the other way Brendan Gleason's going to play Trump in the series so I was thinking like if he was like the guard he keeps his accent yeah yeah build a bleeding wall

he can't do an American accent I don't think did you ever see Lake Placid no he plays it's a stupid movie it's a lot of fun though but he plays like a sheriff and like a like in the deep south and there's this huge crocodile

and he's trying to yeah it's like a kind of... That's not what I was expecting at all. It's a lot of fun. It's really stupid, but it's fun. And, yeah, he's like, he's like meant to be an American sheriff. He's like...

But he still has a real thick Dublin accent. But is he trying to do a real yehawking accent? I mean, from what I remember, yeah, he's trying to do and it's just not coming across at all. Is it a regular or crocodile? No, it's a massive crocodile.

It's huge. That's the whole thing. It's like the 90s when big, like big spiders, big snakes, big crocodiles. Yeah, there was a thing. stage at that like arachnophobia and uh what was that one

snake and Jennifer Lopez and ice cube Anaconda Anaconda yeah Never seen that Not good I saw black snake moaned What's I don't think that's

Is that to do with an actual snake Oh he's a monster But uh Samuel Jackson Ties up the girl from Casper I don't remember what is I just remember people making jokes about it like

But isn't it like yeah He's like He's abusing her something yeah i think she's like a bit of a good time gal and he locks her up and gives her the jesus medicine you know i don't know i never say then brandon gleasing comes along there's a belittin crock of the oil in the water yeah i can't even but uh we were watching it it was actually our friend wacker that uh brought it to my attention is like he's uh one line in the movie so where you from sheriff pennsy pal what a bill just have

that was bleeding crox in that weirther and that was all wacker I have to credit him and man I was in stitches I laughed so much like it was fucking hilarious but it was a good point like he could not do an American accent to save his life it's fun sometimes just slip up and like say something like

I don't like that boy you're saying yeah you're meant to be playing Trump yeah I don't see I mean physically the physicality and he's a good enough actor but can he do the accent I could see them though like I would say it's late

Cassie, but see them kind of watching the guard. Nobody says, like, Blackfellas can't swim. Yeah. And they would be like, that is something Trump would say. Just give him the role. You got the part. Yeah. But, like, I don't, I'm not looking forward to.

I don't know why you need at this stage at Trump four-part miniseries. Okay, and was it HBO or... No, CBS. Okay. So, no tits. No tits. Yeah.

Well, already, I'm... Yeah. I'm writing some serious, I'm writing some serious emails. Yeah, so it's based on James. Comey's book. James Comey's like some guy. He's in the FBI, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah.

I think Jeff Daniels is playing him, so it's going to be Jeff Daniels. I like Jeff Daniels. Yeah, he's good. Brin Laglis is a good actor too, but I don't know. It's just not, um, yeah, as you said, do we really need a thing about Trump? It's like, we get it. You know what? He's terrible.

He do such a good job, be boring. That's what I imagine. Like, it won't be so amazing. You're like, holy shit. Yeah. But it won't be like. It won't be bad either. Yeah.

It'll just be. it'll just be fine it'd be like oh he's tried but I imagine it's kind of like when Anthony Hopkins played Nixon

yeah he was like well he's not he's not he's not look like him but he's doing a good job so someone's his own little thing

yeah or Gary Oldman playing Churchill apparently that was bit shit though oh who cares yeah I don't care like the Churchill movie is like

I've seen so much Churchill stuff in that street Brendanick Lison was good Churchill who was he in Churchill Churchill in Churchill he was Churchill in Churchill

in the 2005 called Churchill no into the storm into the storm yeah we played Churchill Churchill he was much better yeah in a movie not Churchill though it's called the storm into the storm yeah so why do you keep saying in Churchill I just want somebody to go mad if we say Churchill like our um who's on first who's on first Churchill

I'm asking you who's Churchill is that good though into the storm um I remember like the time watched a few years ago on YouTube and I was like half pay attention and half like it was like I just finished whanking over something so it was like time to watch some Time to watch some Churchill Oh Mr. Churchill You big bulldog you Better find it's on the beaters

Well, that was Horranda He suffered from depression Yes he called it the black dog Yeah Which is a fun way of saying Yeah Yeah yeah Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah Yeah, it turns out he was talking about his neighbour Who he didn't like very much But if I was writing a children's book I think about depression I'd do like the black dog you know and the back dog comes running around everywhere and the children are sad oh yeah if he bites it

you get sad yeah let's write a children's book okay and they love because a lot of like a lot of mental health stuff is just a way to scam sad people own money yeah pretty much yeah all the self-help books all like um stuff like hey i've fallen for those scams i've bought the self-help books i'll please fix me but nothing does i'll pay extra i'll do whatever it takes like there's a kid's book out now about depression or like mental health I think it's called like head smasher or something like that

Spastic head written by J.K. Rowling Why are you a spastic no one else is you must be wrong in the head oh yeah they'll make fun

of spastic head but then one night one Christmas Eve they all wake up they need someone to pull the slave that's it the car breaks down need someone to pull it like spastic head you're strong aren't it your type are well yeah so

our book we the black dog black dog so it runs out biting all the kids yeah and it's depressed wouldn't it be put down though but no they can't no because it's a metaphysical dog you know so how do they defeat the black dog of depression how do the kids do they get like now if i was being cynical i'd be like the only way to save is by buying these cool sneakers way of cure depression and it's sponsored by Nike. Just do it. Not that though. Not that. That's not what we're me.

Pardon. You know, mental health is going to get such a big issue in his country. Nike will have to go like, just do it. Brackets. But don't kill yourself, please. Please. That's not what we meant. Please buy our shoes instead. And damn.

Yeah, if you want to use the shoelaces, by all means. Extra long. So, okay, so the black dog goes around biting kids. How do they defeat it, though? What would be, like, what, would true exercise or something? No, you know what it is? They're all ashamed to say that they got bitten by the black dogs, so nobody talks about it.

But then one brave soul says, I was bitten by the black dog. And then they all, it's like, I was bitten by the black dog. And then they all come together. And then, okay, like it, like the movie, because they're not afraid of anymore, dogs like, ah!

get you next time, children. But see, I personally find dogs to be more, I prefer dogs to humans, so I'd be rooting for the dog. I mean, fuck the kids, you know what I mean? Get those kids. Yeah, kept them. Get them early. Okay, so

they all, yeah, they all start talking about it. And then they go home to their parents, I was speaking about the black dog. What was something wrong with you then? Oh, and start back. Yeah, and the dog's back and like, ha, ha, ha, ha, you don't you do it with?

about it could help. You made me angry. And then, okay, and then the sequel would be... Black Dogg too, doggy style. Yeah.

It's 27 years later. It's like it, okay? And they're all adults now. And the black dog's back and they're like, oh no, it won't work. Let's take medication. Oh, that seems to work fine. Okay, fine.

I'll take it. But everything's slightly gray now. And the black dog's around, but he's not as dangerous. Yeah, he just sort of like, all right, it's gone. And then they try and go off medication. And then Stephen Frye shows up. It's like, I'm going to Brussels. I'm running away from the play.

You can't stop me. Good. That must be someone. It was Rick Mail, I think, was doing the play with him. Really? The young ones? Yeah, yeah. He was doing a play.

But it was like a serious play, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. in the comedy. It's like a drama. Yeah, and he fucked off and he was like, ah shit. Because the reviews were bad, so he set, he decided, he went back to his gaff, like, and I think, you know, did the old, tried to do the old car exhaust, but then bottled it, so then

just hopped on a boat to... Can I do that on my car? I'm sure you could, yeah, if you try. See, that's why I'm very against electric cars is because I don't have to find a new method of suicide. You should have? I'm very set in my ways, you know? Did you have an electric car with a little option that, like... The suicide option? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

flip the switch. Yeah and then just gas comes out but it's some kind of like it's better for the environment yeah because you don't want to piss off old Greta if you're the shadow kill. No what is that she doesn't sound like that at all. It is kind of like she has that kind of speech pattern of like very logical like a cyber man. Well she is on the spectrum

and she has hers but yeah I think the whole thing about Greta is like don't get me wrong I'm fully on her side she's you know it's an important message we need to hear it I think people are just like, why am I being talked on to by a 16-year-old? That's the part of it that people don't quite. See, I don't get that because I'm young and hip, so I'm just like...

Yeah, I guess I'm 30, so now I'm like... It's funny how, like, some people hate or something. Yeah, people get really angry about it. You know what do you say? Like, you called her a spoiled brat or something? And he said at the end, I'm like, and don't wear that skirt when you're going out. I'm because I'm daddy or something like that. Are you serious?

Yeah, yeah. Which I think he says a little bit of like, you know, like, you know, like, as a stern parent kind of cute thing but it made it sound like it was like I'm going to bend you over my knee top gear you'll be in top gear all right I'm going to pollute your

environment I'm going to make Richard Hammond watch no Jeremy please I don't know yeah people get really angry about her it's like she's just a kid who's trying to like tell us not to ruin the planet it's real simple stuff like

yeah it's not like she's going like you're not allowed drive cars or anything like that it's not like she's going around like it's just kind of like maybe like

maybe that's not like destroy you so much but also like the reactions to her like some people are so whitter it's like shut yeah that's true it's the thing

it's extremism on both sides that irritates the shit out of it the people who are really wet I don't get to actually care with Meschatol just like oh she's popular yeah I am as well I'm gonna wear a Greta t-shirt

on my private jet you know there's a lot of stuff like that Like, I'm going to wear a Greta t-shirt as I'm pouring chemicals into, like, a child's face. Yeah, into it, like, I'm literally just pouring ass into a child's face going like, yeah, protect the infar. We've got to protect those seagulls. I'm doing testing. Now we know children's faces aren't immune to acid. Now, time to put rat poison to rabbits and see what happens.

Is it rabbit poison as well? Let's find out. You know, I thought that would be a good idea for, like, an animated sitcom, or just kind of like a weird online series. it's set in like a laboratory and all the characters are lab rats and there's one that's like a junkie and then there's one who's getting like makeup tested on it, one's getting medication

There was one, it's sort of like that. Oh, is there? Yeah, it only asked for one season things like 2003. What was it called? I can look it up. Steve Coogan did a voice of a horse in it and it was all like a weird animation. It was on BBC which is like it felt more like an owl swim thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh shit, I'm annoying now. I'm going to look it up real quick.

Well, that's it. Well, you know what to say? I'm going out to your car with a hose and a towel. Don't try and stop me. Yeah. You know, you think of the idea? Coogan's got there first. Of course he does.

Remember he had the idea for a guy called Alan Patridge? Aha! Yeah, it was called I Am Not an Animal, which is a reference to The Elephant Man. Okay. Yeah. Start Simon Pegg, Steve Coogan. Oh, a whole loads of people here. Kevin Eldon.

Now what's the actual plot then? What's the actual... Let's find out, okay. I remember, like... I love this, having my dreams dashed live on air. This is wonderful. A group of six animals part of a fourth batch of Project X

an experiment designed to create talking animals. See, mine wouldn't be as wacky as that. Like, they'd just be random animals who were getting their shit tested. Well, they were all rats. And they were getting different stuff tested on them. And, yeah, I don't know. Well, it's too late now.

Well, like, you know, like, you know, like one of them has his head removed and he's kept alive by machines see that sounds very sort of out there you know yeah oh well that's it done I had one good idea

I'm not said it's over damn you Coogan it's called I am not an animal did you ever watch it? I remember seeing a clip I'll show you a clip really quick I remember seeing a clip when I was younger I think I was a bit scared by you yeah I was like these animals aren't nice

comedy in the 90s especially British comedy was really sort of groundbreak and like they you know they're really willing to push the envelope

like especially the likes of Steve Coogan and Chris Morris have you seen Chris Morris's new movie well yeah no haven't oh no but you've seen

the trailer for it so like look it's a oh wow yeah it's I think that's not the monkey there yeah it's a very weird animation style

it's kind of like 3D animation That's what I mean, yeah It's like Air 2000's Al Swimkin animation Yeah it's very It looks like

Like they've taken Real pictures of animals And like Almost like rotoscope or something And the googly eyes And stuff like It's actually quite Off-putting

Yeah look at an owl there Yeah It's an owl wearing a suit You wouldn't want to be like Two stolen bloods On that Yeah you'd freak out Yeah you'd freak out

You're not Killing your mother Again Digging her up And kill her all over again Take that you bitch And the guy He lives next

the graveyard. I was like, is that cadden out of the ground? Shut up, Jim. This is none of your concern. Just clean the headstones. It's like me and mother. Mother. I wouldn't hurt a fly.

A boy's best friend is his mother. Yeah, so, well, that's a shame. But yeah, Chris Marse's new one. It's about terrorists. Have you seen him on Channel 4? Yes, I saw. That was a great interview.

He is fucking great. I'm actually, it just makes you realize how good he is. I started going back and watching old clips from the day to day and brass eye and oh it's just fantastic and like he's his old thing is like comedy if there's not a point behind you them

like why are you doing it? Yeah pretty much oh god! It did make me it's like what is what is our point? What are we trying to do here Brian? I think we are changing their subconscious with these jokes but that we are coming

from a place that they don't even understand it originally so there's listening to it going like ha ha they're making jokes but not for a while we changed their opinions and then like our listeners suddenly become like these socialists kind of like these socialist people

who like against racism and stuff like that I didn't even realize they talked to listen to a racist podcast and now we hoodwinkton now they're part of Black Panthers the old switcheroo

yeah yeah I like it yeah we just kind of change their consciousness I think we will become more important as the years go on because Ireland's become more totalitarian yeah what just seems like culture in general is becoming more totalitarian. You see what the new EU Facebook law?

No, what's that? Basically, if one EU state decides that something should be removed from Facebook. It's removed from the entire EU? Yeah, yeah. Wow. And the reason to start, okay, was this woman, I'm going to look up her name, because I want to shame her. It's about time a woman got shamed. They've been having a real easy ride so far.

The last 100 years have been la-di-da, ever since they got the boat. Yeah, well, party time. over ladies the chickens are coming home to roost so basically yeah what happened there was this um what you call MP yeah it was British and I think it was Austria

okay I'm gonna look up with these in a minute but basically someone on Facebook called her like an oath and a fascist called who this woman called her an oath and a fascist someone on Facebook right oh so she then went about making this law was like you cannot say that to me

remove. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. So to prove she's not a fascist, she, uh, she brought it about this law or just, it's just mass, it's just mass censorship, really, isn't it? But it's, I think, state sponsored censorship. They're going to use it to stage where, like,

at the moment it's kind of like, people have this idea of like, oh, it's liberals trying to take away my right to say the N word, okay? But they're used, I think they're more, it's more like they're using liberals, okay? as a way to push this agenda

where I will get to stage where like let's say okay yeah it was Austria and her name was Eve Gloucchchchik Pishnik

Ah yeah Yeah yeah So she went to court over this Can you imagine being such a cunt Can you imagine me such a cunt That like someone calls you an Ophina a fascist And you're like well time to go to course not even like I because originally

tall must be like oh must be dead threats or must be like someone like made fun of her nose it's just some online comment yeah which you would hear on like just a regular news show yeah people talk about that with Trump all the time imagine Trump's true actually yeah Trump's like da

yeah and he has like Stephen Colbert shot wow I mean but like what a tragedy so what will happen is it'll get stage where like they'll have some government in like it'll start off somewhere like kind of like

Eastern European or start putting people in camps and then me and you were like hey you can't put people in camps that's bad well that's actually offensive to Jews to compare what compare our concentration camps to them is offensive to Jews so we're going to ban you

from social media and then they'll start putting Jewish people in camps and Jewish people like hey what are you doing like ah well get on the train like that and it'll be too late then I think that's like Come on, you know the drill, I'm the train. You know how this goes.

You're genetically inclined. Ever since Egypt, do you feel? Well, maybe they just get two-for-one tickets. It's like, well, we can't pass up that deal. Ah, see, that was anti-semitic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, we're standing up from. Of course.

I think we come from the point of being the, you know, the Jeff, we make fun of both sides. We just, you know. But we obviously are on the foot of, like, don't murder. Of course. Yeah, of course. I don't think that's a big statement. No, no. But does it mean we can't ridicule, like, the left for being extremist or, like, I don't agree with censorship. I don't agree with cancer. It's going to get worse. That's the thing.

Yeah, yeah. And we will be, they'll be in a prison of their own design. Like, we're having fun now. We're just chilling out. But we'll get to the stage where, like, we have to go undercover, just to me up to do his podcast, right? And we record it on, like, a cassette tape. And then we hand it to a young girl she just like run across a minefield or something like that yeah she's part of resistance and then like they blast down like

we have this like you know radio carline we have a ship out in middle of the Atlantic we're blasting this and there's like these guards like we gotta get them and like they get us but a bit like the Fendetta like they kill us but like

the resistance lives on we rigged the explosives and then the doll explodes and Leo Recker's head just lands in a field Good. You know, did you see Varadka recently just passed a thing where he's going to allow fracking, like, nationwide? I missed her.

Yeah. He's going to... But they're going to ban vapes, so, you know. Oh, okay. Yeah, shit. Vapes. Everyone's like, oh, no, it's bad for you. It's like, well, yeah, you're inhaling chemicals.

Like, what did you think? The amount of people who, unironically are like, I'm just smoking, like, now I wouldn't do vapes. I wouldn't vapeen as bad for you. I just go back to the fags. And unironically are like that. at least don't know and they'll try and justify at least with the fags

I know what's going to happen and maybe you know what happened like you know you might get a sore tummy at least I know what specific cancer I'll die from

it'll be lung cancer and I'll be happy with that it's good enough for Walter White it's good enough for me yeah should my dad died of it if my grandfather died of it

I'd be letting the family down if I didn't die well yeah I know a girl in my course who is and I'm pro not fracking

vaping you're pro vaping yeah I'm pro vaping but she so addicted that she brings her charger in as well yeah

and she'll charge it inside of the class and be vaping in class and be looking over at like a little crack hoar just like really like oh what's the time

can I do it and she sometimes like just like just like just like just like a puff during class like Jesus

yeah yeah ugh I don't know just smoke cigarettes like vaps are just for people

in denial like you know what I mean you're gonna die it's gonna happen it's inevitable smoke a fag smoking looks cooler though yeah it's true yeah especially imagine like Humphrey Bogart walking around with a vapin yeah blah is another place

you walked into man I'm thinking real you Nick DePaolo bit now we're like yeah imagine Humphrey Boggart with a vape and eating vegetarian these fucking liberal retodge yeah yeah

DePaolo man he really went down a bad road Which we won't never go down No, no Unless they want us to go down it that way Unless we get paid In which case Unless that's where the money leads Of course

Do you think Ireland will be able To sustain a racist podcast network I don't think the entire network needs to be a racist Okay, just one Yeah We could be But it's clear that we're not racist

Yeah Maybe not to everybody else But we know Yeah, well for the Peeps Oh God What are we out here? Oh, jeez, we still got time.

Yeah, we still got a little bit of time. Yeah, yeah. I'm just getting nasty. Yeah, you haven't even like, you can smoke it up here. Can I? Yeah, like it off. That's why I thought you were just waiting

for the perfect moment. Oh, no, I thought we had to go outside. I thought you were doing like a caruso thing. You want to get the perfect line and go like, yeah. You got an ashtray? Uh, no, just, yeah, give me a second. It's all around you. My face, uh, that's the ashtray.

I don't have an ashtray. I'm just using the bit tin file. Yeah. Yeah. Rogan Rogan has an ashtrek Oh yeah Someday we'd be like

Rogan I don't think so I'm not that dedicated to fitness I was watching some old clips of Rogan on like news radio Yeah yeah He's so like He's a good sitcom actor

I was really surprised by Like yeah He's got like Mott LeBlanc level timing He's got yeah He's kind of like the wacky quirky other guy The big guy

Yeah yeah kind of like The dumb jock guy Because from the 90s, the few jokes were, like, someone accidentally touched him. Like, last guy I touched me, I put through a fucking wall. He pulls a knife. Cut, Joe, you're doing it again. Where?

What they do? Yeah, yeah. Like, you could do, like, jokes back down. Like, you know, if any gay guy touched me, I'm going to fucking smash their head in, like, all these laughs. Yeah, yeah. How's that Mary Jane train here? Oh, yes.

I'm, I want to listen to some John Coltrane and make love to her. to a very large woman are you having some no what no I'm not having some you're going to make me smoke at all yeah that's part of my plan

oh I see this is how Cosby did it yeah yeah you know he didn't record it though well if he had he would have a very large fan base Seinfeld's going to come out and defend you

Brian O'Too is a great comedian I'm actually off smoking and driving yeah yeah yeah because like I'm not gonna drive Brian oh you're right you're right yeah

Jesus but I mean like in the same day oh really they're cracking down at here that's true there are like tests for it now yeah but no one really

where they make you watching Adam Sandor movie and if you laugh straight to jail ugh god that's horrible isn't it you like murder mystery do you see that

yeah I did it was terrible he's just not even trying he doesn't care Oh, he's got that new film come out, Uncut Gems. That looks really good. Yeah, yeah. He's a good serious actor.

Did you ever see, and it was Noah Bombbach, Noah Baumosh? Oh, I can't pronounce his name. But he did a movie with, it was like Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Dustin Hoffman, but then Hoffman got me-toed, so it got brushed on the radar. But Sandra's really good, in it, like. Yeah. No, I'm not surprised. He's good in lots of things.

Puncher of Glove. The Puncher of Love is so good. I was surprised by how much I liked that. Yeah. Like, what's it? Like, you couldn't make it now because the whole thing isn't like. he calls a sex line and then like they blackmail him or something yeah pretty much yeah what was that yeah yeah he was calling a sex line and they were blackmailed them pretty much so was it

well like who even i see if i see more hoffman i feel like in this age though it'd be like so what like like a sex line is almost like a telegram has you ever rang a sex line loads yeah i remember one time like i i back on my credit on my phone i had to shop three times in one day Jesus Christ Just kept putting on 20s Like come on Are you serious Yeah yeah

I want to talk to her again Is it good I've had phone sex With like people I was in a relationship Well I'd never allow that Oh right That's sick

If I'm in a relationship That girl's not allowed I'd use the phone It's just one of my quirky little rules Oh Jesus Yeah But no Phone sex itself

It's not good But if you're like 13 Yeah Sure it's great So what kind of things Do they go real filthy Do they? Yeah

they go very quick to filth like oh no easing it in no no okay or sometimes you're like let's just slow this down like come on boy baby just come would you and you're like

but surely you want me to stay on the line longer because it costs me like nah don't like your voice I'll be honest with you love there's nothing happening down there just hurry up will you I'm not naked I'm wearing a suit

it's me what do you call those Indian guys like she's a call center in Bombay like I always wonder where are these places are they just like independence or do they have an actual

I imagine some shitty little warehouse somewhere like everyone like in a rap Where they're filming like British porn Yeah yeah God yeah British porn it's Graham isn't it It is

Fucking smash me back door in You dirty bastard Yeah yeah it's a lot of like Girls are like They don't seem to get what sexy is are like, yeah, fucking patting me you fucking fucking twatting me, you fucking twat like fake taxi, do you ever say that?

Not as much as people, fake taxi became really mainstream. Yeah, it's huge. I haven't seen that much of it. I don't really not too interested in fake taxi. It's like, I don't know how this guy is still operating, you know, he never takes money. It's like, does he go back to the taxi rank? Do you have the money? I don't know.

I shagged them all. Again, we can't keep this business going like. Employee of the month. I bet in regular... Yeah, I know it's fair. You were like, it's fake as if I was like, no, I don't believe it. Do you ever watch the carry-on film

Carry On Caving? I've never watched any carry-on for it. Oh, really? I know of it. I know the basic. Yeah, it's about... It's all of men having sex with young women. Okay. Yeah. Because that was comedy in the 70s. Yeah, yeah. It was... They touched your

tits without the permission and then go, he-ha-ha-ha-ha. And then the end. But, like, so... Actually, I heard something funny on the radio or someone was saying, like, you know, you couldn't make carry-on film in this day, age after me too as if like that's the big you know like we can either have me too or carry on films we can't have both no we've had 30 carry on films that's not enough so carry on is interesting

because it started off just being kind of silly with the odd like you know girl in the bikini yeah but then it got very like near the end it was just full on softcore porn yeah all the actors were look sick they were all like really weird people yeah they're all like coughing up blood and stuff. But carry on capping, the whole idea is, like, why don't we do ladies driving cabs? And all the men are like, because it was like, this is like an innocent

kind of comedy where it's like, all the men are like, oh, blind me, I want to drive a cab with a fit bird in it. Yeah. You know, but in reality, like, you know, they wouldn't be coming back. Peter Sutcliffe had a, at his own version. Wow, he had quite a summer. Very few sequels.

Yeah, that's, I mean, like, that's like, um, You'd have to give women, especially 60s, England. You put women tax drivers out there, you'd have to give them, like, harpoons and stuff. Just to shoot the fucking, you know. All the Tory politicians come out of the woods. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm trying to think what porn's I've been watching.

Really? I don't want to watch that much porn. I'd rather watch sex scenes from TV shows and movies than porn itself. Oh, okay, a bit more cinematic. Yeah, I like, there's a show, called Smilf. Oh yeah, I've heard of it. I've never watched it.

I've only watched the sex scenes. Are they good? They're kind of funny. One bit like she's a guy's fucking her and he pulls down and he comes his own eye. How is that? The logistics. Oh, I think he like he falls backwards.

Oh, okay, right, right, right. And there's another scene of her. It was kind of interesting. It's like she's getting a fuck but she's texting her friend going like, oh, this dick is so small. Are you serious? Yeah, and you see the text and I was like,

oh, that's very interesting looking to decide the mind of a female. You know? I don't think they do this. that too they? Oh, well, they're texting something. It ain't good. I hope it's just my dick, I hope. I'm giving a live Yelp review.

They've got like, oh yeah, yeah, all the women have like this special website we don't know about. Where they all just talk about us all the time? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah, and I'm not being narcissistic when I say that. They're all talking about us and only us. It's like the

Truman Show, except they're just talking about how smaller dicks are. What else? sex scenes is in that show. There's one, I think it's a dream sequence where she's like a queen and like all the men beside her are like ripped and naked. Okay. I think she got done for sexual assault or something. I heard that though. You're on. What's her name? Frankie.

Frankie Shaw. Yeah, Franky Shaw. And then she also did the thing where she separated the writer's room by race. Yeah. That's right. Jesus. That's weird. Yeah. But this show was only like from a couple of years. It's only like two years old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that kind of like put a downer on things. But I still

I still watch sex scenes. Yeah. Which I'm, you know, I'm a feminist. What are there are porns we watched? I don't know if people want to hear us talk this much about porn. Oh, no. It's too late. You're wrong.

Let me think of a good porn. Remember the first porn I watched was a girl smoking a cigarette wearing a berry. Yeah? Yeah? She's stuck in the cock. In my head is black and white. It wasn't, but in my imagination it was. Why is she was smoking a cigarette?

Yeah, she took turns like. A little bit of smoke onto it That's not hygienic Yeah And he got like a second-hand High off it Because of his dick Is addicted to nicotine

Um Do we talk with the dirties porn in the world That thing What's that Were they having sex in the island Full of trash Oh Oh yeah

They have sex on the beach That's just trash Yeah It's to show like How bad the environment's got Are you serious Which I mean If Greta wants to show a message

I'm not saying She's underage Like obviously But if they were having time of sex She's like, see This is what they do There is trash everywhere So like it's like this couple

They're fucking on an island And then you see like a crab Trapped in like a beer Like you know There's little plastic rings for beer Yeah And there's like you know Trash everywhere

And he turns on and said I thought you said You didn't have crabs Heyo Oh Bara bra da bra Anyway Here's a link to the website

If you want to donate To Greta's cause Oh Jesus What are porn so we watch that could be the name of the whole podcast is what pornes have I watched dot dot dot yeah not that many

there is that one my dad's my dad wrote a porno yeah is that good no some oh no the the hosts I saw the live show like he did no I didn't go but it was like they recorded a live show

like a live taping and it was on Sky Atlantic and I watched it nah they annoyed the shit out of me to be honest what's the premise of it basically this guy like he found out that his dad has a secret life of being like a, he just writes trashy, erotic novels or something like that. Or maybe he only wrote one, I don't know, but they just like to read chapters and like play the characters and all.

But apparently it's very badly written, like the guy's dad has a very limited knowledge of the female anatomy and stuff like that and it really comes across. Like he's saying like he put in her tit hole. Yeah, pretty much like things like that, yes. Her breasts opened up and they were so wet And then the succubus came from within and enveloped And then an alien popped out of her stomach And it sucked his dick So yeah

And Dave kept this going for It seems like to be going for long time They're very popular And they've had like celebrities Tweeting about it and stuff Like Nicholas Holt was talking about it Yeah He's a well-known actor

He was very good in the favourite Yeah was he in that I haven't seen that the favorite. That's the only thing I liked him in. Skins, uh, X-Men. Oh, did you ever see kill your friends? No. He murders James Corden, so you'd like that. Oh, yeah. God, I love James Corden, do you. Wouldn't be great just like, he had just like a heart attack on stage. Did he talk about fat shaming? Yeah, didn't he do some segment about fat shaming and just that? Yeah, the whole thing about like, you know, just you don't know the struggle. Yeah, like, I have no

sympathy. As an overweight person myself, like, yeah, I did this to myself. I'm a, fat lazy piece of shit I don't I don't want I don't deserve to be on the cover of a magazine and people go oh look isn't he amazing well that doesn't really translate to men women can do that like plus size

women you know that's all everybody's all for that but if you put me on the cover magazine they'd be like I'm sorry why is this fat guy in a magazine who let that happen could be calling the police there be a little child going Mommy what's that don't look at it

evil evil we gotta burn it but uh yeah Yeah, do you know what I mean? But yeah, so he started crying. He started crying, didn't he? No, he didn't, he didn't, but he, I think he was getting emotional about it. Okay.

I was just like, what the fuck you do in this talk show? Who cares? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, whee. Fat? Oh, I'm fat. I deserve a bit. No, you don't.

Shut up. And neither do I. This is really my own self-loatting that I'm projecting onto James Gordon. Or eventually you're like, oh, I'm, um, um, um, uh, um, um, um, um, um, um, oh, God. You won't be so funny if I suck your dick. What? Nothing?

they'll suck the fat rail you is that a thing we can try people have told me I looked like James Gordon really yeah if it goes wrong you could be like one of those celebrities lookalikes yeah celebrity lookalikes yeah you know those

celebrities that definitely smell of piss you know they dress up like Elmo and like Captain Jack stuff like then hang out around the Hollywood walk oh yeah what's they called in the Hollywood Walk of Fame yeah walk of fame yeah yeah yeah so you hang out there as like we assign this James Coe people won't to say James, I'm James Corden.

I can just do a British accent. They probably believe me. And then the pepper spray. Of course. The natural progression. And I deserve it too. Yeah, I go make it big in Hollywood as a James Corden impersonator. And every party or event I attend, people just beat

the shit out of me. That's the only reason I was hired. You fat fuck, I'll kill it! It turns out just a real, like, a lot of population of just deep-seated hatred James Corden. They make me do carobo karaoke, but they just run. me over every time or they push me out of the moving car

sing now you fat swats it's living but yeah no I hate I don't like James Gordon at all he's very hateable yeah and just the fact that how did he get that position he had to have murdered a baby and offered it to Satan

well at least that would make sense then if he got out of merit I'd be very depressed at least like that's the thing I can just say like oh it's probably because he's satanic or something like that and I feel better. Yeah. But if it's because he's actually

legitimately talented and like, oh no. What happens if it turned out the whole Hollywood satanic cult thing was real and they said

Brian will give you a five picture deal if you murder this baby and eat it in front of us and they look and you've already eaten it before they finish what they were saying?

For some reason like murdering, like murdering, I thought you're going to say rape it. Oh, that's sick. I know murder doesn't seem bad at all like murder baby I could do without feeling anything.

I don't want to sound bad Oh no, no, there's no, like, I don't think you can even take that out of context to make you sound bad. No, I'm just saying, like, perfectly... No, but you get what I mean, like, does a baby, like, doesn't mean... If it was a kid, it'd be different. Wait, I'm sorry, why did you say, you know what I mean? I'm not... I'm just a listener, I mean, like, Adam Talon, like, I'm just saying, like...

You hear that, Adam? Yeah, I'm just saying, like, with a kid, you kill it, it knows what's going on, and it can be like, oh, no. Yeah. With a baby... It doesn't know what's going on. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's something I didn't know about.

But you, interesting. Well, like, you know what I mean? I don't need you to babysit next week, by the way, Brian. We'll go to the Yellow Pages, thank you. Well, I'm just like, you know, if it's for a five-picture deal, but you know the way they did get me, it's like, it's like a five-picture deal

but it's like some shitty studios linescape or something like that. Orion. Yeah. It's with the Weinstein Company. Oh, no. God, yeah. Well, you know,

We just saw that we were in the shop there after our drug deal. And there was a, on the cover of the sun, was it? Apparently the guardee have a file on a quote Irish Weinstein. Well, first of all, the headline says rape cops have file. But when you say rape cops, I'm like... Why are they being employed? Yeah. We need a special division.

Off the books. Are you seen the A-team? well they're kind of like this but yeah so it's the rape cops who I assume were investigating rapes talking about

the Irish Weinstein but the article says he's being active since the 70s who could it be really if it's since the 70s it's one guy

there's one guy who's been the big RTE presenter a guy since 70s since the 70s what Mike Murphy oh was it

from winning the streak I know the spin the wheel I won't say the name no But if it is who we're thinking, the guy who is known for hosting Leigh Late Show in the 70s and he has an interest in

the meaning of life. We won't say who he is. Hint, hint. But if he turned out to be a Cosby-level sex offender, if you were saying it would change Irish society. It would change the fabric of our society. All Irish history would change.

We dig up Collins' grave and piss on it. It's all meaningless. It's not make sense. burn down the GPU the flag means not and no but yeah people would freak the fuck guy like we just give ourselves back up to England

or like we blew it but think of all the old ladies who would just be like oh heartbroken time to just Harry carry myself and just stabs themselves

and it's so weird but like it would we never recover no it's more at least like when they found out of Saville yeah that was one thing

but just like he's the biggest guy we had for years. He changed so much in socially as well. Pretty much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever get, you ever gay sex?

Cause a gay, you know. Yeah, yeah. It's because he made it happen. I hope we're not making this too cryptic. I really hope people can figure out that we're talking about. Well, they don't know at all.

Well, again, we could be totally wrong. It could be somebody else. I mean, well, even if it is, like, if it's just someone this big that they're being very careful about,

but even, like, you haven't, don't know who it is. Yeah. Well, you don't know, but like, it's from the 70s, so it's not like yeah like this is going to be big

well I mean because we have heard rumblings about this before but now the fact that there's a my friend Brian Gallagher was telling me all about it oh you said his name I didn't know he'd been active

since his 70s but now I guess that long beard makes sense I didn't know you're 14 yeah no I remember being a pope with Brian Gattern and he was telling me all about it he was saying I used to take his dick out

during interviews and stuff on air the guy not Brian the person being accused. Oh, I didn't ask. None of my business. I don't judge. I can't go after him.

He's on facts, for God's sake. It's tried. Oh, it's try. That's his new reaction. Try to keep a secret. Try to... Look at Brian's dick. We just want to say we're big fans of Brian and he's a good friend and obviously this is all.

But like... In jest. He was telling you about this like two years ago. Yeah. So this has been rumbling for a lot of. A rumbling for a while, yeah. But kind of when me too happened, when it first all kicked off, there were rumblings of it, and then it just all kind of went away.

I can pinpoint exactly, because that was the day I found that Kevin Spacey broke. Yes. So I was in a pub with Brian Gallowher, and he was telling me about this, and I was like, what, powerful men abusing women, you're crazy. I don't believe it. Powerful men using their influence and privilege. Go get your tinfoil hat, you nut job. Yeah, sure. And the CIA has killed.

people, sure. And I drove home and the first thing I looked up with the internet, first big story, Kevin Spacey. And I was like, I don't know Kevin Spacey worked for it to you. So yeah, we're just kind of wondering who it could be and we'll see, maybe it'll come out, maybe it'll all go away. Maybe it'll be up to us to uncover the truth, Brian.

I'm going to ask Brian. And we might come on the show actually. I like to get his, we should get him on the show. He might take his dick out during the show. But we might get him on the guest Maybe next time Yeah, I think we should I have to head off soon

Because I have to meet a girl Oh, a girl you say Yeah Wow We're going to watch Mind Hunter to get her Ah nice Get in the mood Yeah

That's sexy We watch You know the big fat guy Yeah Ed Kemper Yeah we play a little role play Where she's in Kemper And I'm the mother

All right Well sure Good luck on your hot date Brian let us know how it goes Brian Gallup if you're listening please come on the show if the Irish wine scene's listening please expose yourself

not that guest come on now now it's our fault please unless you want to come out on the show and expose yourself reveal who it is then that would have fun then we get on the Dublin podcast festival

oh yeah they couldn't keep us away then take that it girls we could do bikini shots too you won't like it Okay, let's end it there That's fun Bye