Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 38 : Louis Theroux and Chlamydia

Episode Date: October 19, 2019

We talk about Louis Theroux's documentary "Love Without Limits" Wu-Tang, Gogglebos black-face and lots of other shite.

And we're off. Off to the races. Hey. Hey, let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Specifically? Remember that song? Oh, I do.

Yeah. Cheat codes. Cheat codes? Okay. They were in Ridley's Dundalk once. They went back to the apartments and had sex with a girl. Is that right? Well, one of them did, I think.

Oh, one of them did. Yeah. How many are in cheat codes? Because you kind of made it sound like they ran a trailer. Oh, it's not Wu-Tang. No, it's only too, like, Okay. It was Wu-Tang, that poor girl.

Oh god I feel worse for Wu-Tang having to bang some girl in the shooting apartment just imagine Wu-Tang in Dundalk of all places like Just walking down Clan Brassel

straight in the car Oh here now What's going on here But no they'd probably love to be like Wu-Tang Wu-Tang Oh God Well Wutang now

Old Dirty's dead Old Dirty bastard Yeah I heard he used to show up To the welfare office In a limo when he was famous and collect his welfare check

that's pretty fun now that's Dundalk people Dundalk respect that so how are you getting on James I'm good man yeah well we it's something that long

since we've seen each other we were it's been less than 24 hours I keep count well we did that gig in DKIT we did a mental health we did a mental health gig

in DKIT in a room next to a basketball court It was, you know, it's mental health And people, like, they asked me to do a gig for mental health Yeah, they approached you Which is weird that you get Like, even the idea of a stand-up gig for mental health It's such like an oxymoron

Let's get the mentalers to make us feel good Oh, well, God, they weren't digging it now That crowd, I have to say, for the most far Well, I don't want you blame them Because it's a working college day Yeah, they all have class They just got off class And they've got to go to more class

They've got an hour break They come to like a little room Okay They're sober The lights are on Yeah And then on come us Talking about suicide and penises

In that order Yeah So you can forgive him like It wasn't the right environment for it Well you know Statistically Half of that room We're going to end up

With mental health problems Yeah Probably more And they'll be thinking back Oh why didn't I feign interest in those comedians I should have clap more I'm in a prison of my own design

but we won't be able to help them because we'll be dead by then we think we couldn't help them either way even if they were like whoa we love you guys we love you we're like yeah cool and 20 years later you're all dead

yeah but a funny thing happened before the end of the show a fire alarm got they didn't get pulled actually a fire alarm went off just at the end it was perfect timing well not perfect timing

it was interrupted the headline set. Yeah, but he's got due to you he got paid like that's true that's always the bit I was

emceeing because that's the bit I hate about the show is at the end you got to like be a bit sincere for me

hey guys thanks for coming out and you know give yourself around applause I hate all that shit so I love just pull a fire alarm

every comedy show and just have the audience slunk out and it's like yeah but you wouldn't want them catch it on to your antics

so then you start real fires in the venue just to throw them off the scent I'm pretty sure it was stardust doesn't it Wow, you hear that, kids, remember Star Dust?

Well, Star Dust is going to be next Chernobyl. Oh, it prevented those remnants. No, no, no, I mean, like, so there's a whole generation now that know Chernobyl. Yeah. And they get the Chernobyl reference, because of the documentary in that. And the HBO series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where even, like, you can kind of trace it, like, last year you do, like, a jizz, you look like you're a,

from Chernobyl silence people are like what's that you know and now they're like yeah we get it

yeah we watch the we watch the depressing HBO series of that way it's great so you think there's going to be

a depressing series about stardust well there's a podcast coming out with the moment about Stardust the Stardust podcast

I hear it's advertised on a journal dot i e how many episodes is that going to have the Stardust podcast it's going to be

500 episodes it's going to be insane so who's doing it they're promoted on the journal a lot you know that website the journal it's that website would have news stories and they've racist people in the comments

going mental for no reason and they're all on the journal's payroll that's what they don't tell you that's well I wouldn't be surprised that that keeps everything interesting they blame even like Star Dost they're like it was the fucking the Zionists

they're added to again striking where we least suspect actually speaking the Zionist for a minute we get back to Star Dust but I think it's funny how like you ever see that film they live Yeah, yeah With a Roddy Piper

Raleigh Routy Piper Yeah directed by I believe John Carpenter Yes, it's actually right Okay So in the film It's about a group of people Who control in the world

Yes Okay And now all I love is A lot of people go with John Carpenter That's about Jews right And he's like no It's about capitalism And like how it can affect people's lives

Yeah Specifically advertising Yeah Advertising and like stuff like down Yeah Oh I get you it's the advertises and we all know who runs does

oh yeah I'm not saying they cause he probably does get that a lot oh a lot like it became a whole thing especially like um around the time of like Hillary and Trump stuff like that a lot of stuff on Facebook

I followed and supported I won't tell you who a lot of stuff on Facebook was going to that whole thing like posting like you know Hillary is actually a secret what was it they're aliens

oh like reptilian overlords is that like the David Ike thing yeah but what was it like they wore they live the film they wore glasses and you can see like dead skulls or something no it's like when you put on the special sunglasses you're able to see the real

messages in magazines but the people also look different didn't they? Yeah that's right they looked yeah you're right they look like aliens or monsters so there's a lot of art going around portraying Hillary and like that kind of set Hillary Obama as like the aliens from they live okay and Trump was

Roddy, Rowdy Piper. Yes. Going to chew bubble gum and kick ass, is that the famous? Going chew bubble gum and win an election. And I'm all out of bubblegum. Yeah, yeah. Which is what I call my daughter's asshole. He doesn't sound like that.

Anyway. So Star Dust. Yeah, so I want to listen to the podcast, but I feel like we're already talking about, we're talking about in class as well, actually. Are you? Yeah, I bring it up a lot. it's an account no it's uh no it's uh we do help and safety okay so they're like this is what not to do yeah it's because they locked the doors yeah they locked the doors wasn't it almost like a sick

game like you like you couldn't make any more dangers if you tried how but there was what so there was only one way that everybody could get out and people got trampled and then they said okay it's one way out let's lock it wait they locked that one too and they changed some maybe they left that maybe yeah but like there were chains on all the fire eggs and or something like that, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think. Well, I haven't listened to the podcast, yeah. I mean, this happened like fucking 30 years ago. It might have been, yeah.

I need to, I did, they did actually an RT TV movie about it. Oh, okay. Oh, I remember thinking about that as the dad was yelling a lot. What about? I think because his daughter died. Yeah, he seemed really miffed. Seemed a bit put out by it. This is like Ireland in the 80s, so I didn't want to cause too much of a fuss.

But no, it's funny because. This is like, I remember it was kind of, I remember being a young when it was on TV and he was yelling so much. I started going like, I started getting scared. Triggered your PTSD. Yeah, yeah, I was like, Daddy. Daddy, no, I didn't die in Star, I wish you did. So, um, how do we get on? Oh yeah, mental health.

So no one died. So the fire alarm went off. Wasn't even a real fire. I think it was just a routine. Yeah, like a fire drill. Yeah, and they decided to do it right during Paul Marsh's set. Yeah. Which is ironic because he's a fireman.

He's a fireman, yeah. Yeah. And I didn't say this to Paul at the time, because he didn't want to hurt his feelings, okay. But there was one girl who, so I was telling people, we got Paul Marsh the headline. He does the laugh around shot. There's one girl I know who actually Googled Paul Marsh. And she didn't even watch the video. She was just like, he seems old.

Is he going to be doing like dad jokes? Like that. And Jesus. And, geez, I nearly threw coffee in her face. Shut up. Like, I bit my tongue. but in my soul I got so angry

I don't know why I feel personally attacked I was like Well yeah I mean that's like What because he's older You just think he's not gonna be funny I just start flashbacks

When I'm the age Flashbacks to when you're older Yeah yeah It's very confusing Yes it is So I started like getting like Images then of like What if I turned out old

And people are the same of me Like he's old They throw trash at me It's a highly likely scenario Brian Yeah but hopefully like her house burns down and then Paul Marsh decides not to say

it's like it's like tales from the crypt yes and then he'll say you know the who was it the ghoul the tales for the crypt yeah yeah

the guy who hosted it the narrator guy yeah it was like a skeleton something like that he'd say a joke like it's definitely lit as she burns the death she's like that was lit

you know I think they would have written a better joke for tales for the Give me more than two seconds like I'll think of a very one I'm not forcing you at all The burning issue Yeah

Stupid bitch died in fire I'm riffing here She died Because she her bones got burnt He was a hoah So yeah That gig for the mental health So we did the mental health gig

You guys You haven't got paid yet You will get paid Yeah I haven't emailed the people And it's coming from the student Union. So I don't know where they get their money. That's sweet, sweet student

union dollar. I don't know where that, I think that comes from the students itself, I imagine. Probably, yeah. It's like a part of your fees. We should have asked for more money. Yes, we should have. Because they asked me like a pussy, I was like, because I seem like, it's for charred, like mental health, someone to like really like get too much out of them. Yeah, that's fair enough. But fuck him, I

should have like. Is there, yeah, weird room was like in the back corner of the college. Like they couldn't have like segregated us more if they tried. Like, really like most of the students didn't even know where this place was

yeah we're like I had to tell them like no it's like down goes to the shop then turn left and all that like they really pit us away just in case you know

just in case and they were right to do it yeah I went well that went all right we had we had Paul Marcian yes

John Spelan yes Mustafa Said yes no women no women no that's not Mustafa is Muslims

that counts as two women pretty sure that's how Sharia law works but we try to get some women I've got the messages saved because I'm all worried someone's going to come after me like you didn't party women like look they all said no to me yes they did all said no

every single woman even women don't do comedy they all said no well this brings us on to our next point what tell the listeners Brian oh yeah yeah well I was going to talk something else but yeah I got Chlamydia as well okay so that's like well we could uh would you want to double back or something um so i got a call

a while ago there a few weeks ago that like hey you might want to get checked up all right and i was like why because i'm such an idiot am i pregnant oh no i'll pee on the stick no i like i know i always jump to the worst case like it's this it's this Dallas boyers club is it like is it going to be uh am i going to win an oscar am i yeah but not she was like yeah look i've probably got chlamydia go get yourself yeah yeah yeah have you ever i've had to do it before have you yeah uh i can't imagine it's very pleasant no they freak out yeah you know what they be like they be tripping oh bitch bitch bitch well i think i think the best thing do if hey listeners out there you have to do it make the phone call don't do it by text

yeah don't do it by text text is like a little bit too impersonal i feel what am i Carrier Pigeon. Is that, you know? Falcon, yes. Carrier pigeon, ew. That's a just sky rat. That's like one step away from me literally just like, right in the words you have you have committee on a rat and then throw it at her face. Also, you have plague. So you got, but you got some cream or what did they give you for?

They give you a, so I had familiar in the past. Okay. You've been around the block a few times. Oh, it's not my first rodeo. Oh, I tell you. Speaking of Dallas Byers Club. so like yeah so the first time just gave me like

a cocktail a bit like the AIDS people AIDS have you know okay but it's like a single cocktail like AIDS people they have like do a cocktail like every week or so all right what does the cocktail consist of like just a few pills and you down you down mostly all sleeping pills

and you just take them all and then you they die in your Hollywood Hotel room and then but luckily they filmed dark night beforehand so yeah just give you a little cocktail a few pills you down and you're like hey i'm ready to go yeah look at ladies i'm back hatch-cha yeah but this time um they've given me a series of pills where i've to take um i think uh two pills a day for a week i'm not allowed to even kiss anyone is that right yeah i was like oh wow so i assume like unprotected sex out of question

god you sure you didn't drink from that cop but uh this is a legitimate question shit, no, it would be good. Oh, yeah. You handed me a coffee and I, like, yeah. But it was the wrong one. Yeah. It was mine. So, uh, did you?

Oh, God. That's pathetic. My first time with Climedia and I got it from a coffee cup. Off Brino tool. Oh, Brino, too. It's not even like, where do you get? You got off some hot chick. Um, yeah.

Yeah. She was so hot. Yeah, so I have it, but it'll be, it's like, Climedia's not in there. No, it's fine. And it felt pretty good. So they gave you the little thing that says chlamydia positive,

but they've also, they run all the tests. Yeah. Just be safe. So it was cool to see like HIV negative, gonorrhea negative, syphilis negative. All those negative felt pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Well, you've got to take the victories where you.

I kind of wants to ask them, can I take that with me? And pull it right on the fridge. They didn't let you, though. Just to show off, yeah. It actually comes up chlamydia, the double checkers, Chlamydia,

um, what, not activated. Chimidia, activate. Positive, that was, yeah,

yeah, so it came up twice. I was like, do you have double permitties? What does this mean? You have one in each testicle. One plamidia for each test.

Do we have to cut them bow off for a spread to the ears? And that's how tuberculosis is born. So, yeah, it's good to have a, it's good to know what it is. you know yeah sure so I can't even kiss anyone for a week now that's a bit of a shame

sad well that's all of my weeks I can still kiss my hand right um because I've actually been kind of half so I don't want to like you know in the sim steps with the B sharps Homer has pretend to be single yeah yeah so I'm kind of half seen someone at the moment oh are you but I don't want Lister snow because it will break their hearts Well, Adam Talon would just go to his hotel room in Hollywood. But not like, you know, it's just kind of just half-scenes. You know the kind of relationship where like... It's like casual?

Just you go over to her house and watch Gogglebox together, you know? That's why I'm watching a lot of Gogglebox. Have you been watching a lot of? Non-stop goggle box. Really? She's a fan of Gogglebox? Only goggle box. What's the appeal there? I don't get it. Well, for a while we were watching People v. O.J. and stuff like that.

Yeah. Okay, it's something I like. That's good, yeah. But now it's time for her to what something she likes. I was like, I didn't agree to this. Yeah. And, yeah, you know, you got to let her have her way because you secretly giving her chlamydia, so you don't want to feel like an asshole, you know?

No. I mean, like, really, get chlamydia watch Gogglebox. Like, goes around, comes around. I'm not saying she deserved it. So how do you find Gogglebox then? It's an array by Diedro Kane. Okay.

yeah now who is she again she's comedian comedian i've never met her no me neither uh do you know anything about her uh i know she had a pretty public thing or fling with colin farrell or maybe they just banged oh that's her yeah yeah but she was in moonboy and uh intermission she's had she got a few like credits you know been on live at the apollo and stuff like that oh really she's big she's big okay i didn't i honestly didn't know like who she was i didn't know she was an actress or like oh yeah yeah well see i think She was really big and kind of like the early

to mid-2000s but then she took a break Then Colin Farrell fucked her Yes and she just had to go and you know what's like then you know You said she had to go

Rejuvenating surgeries were required She just had to go lie down For three years She's like wow I need to rethink everything But no She hadn't had kids

So uh Oh no Is Colin Farrell no So um So she narrates it It's a bunch of Irish families And I don't know You know what kind of

It kind of feels like Because there's a lot of shows in Ireland That other people watch The normal people watch You know normies watch That I'm never going to watch Never So this feels like it's a nice little way

To catch them what regular people are watching On a weekly basis Like there's a thing in the TV show A Tick of it Okay Where the Prime Minister watches a thing called the Zikeyes tapes tapes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the Zikeyes tapes, people don't know. That's like, it's

clips of like reality shows, like stuff that the Klebs watch. Basically everything that's like popular and culture at the minute. The popular music video is like what's cool, what's not like, so the elite like us watch things like that just to find out what like, um, what the regular like, you know, what the regular white, what's a white fan driver like, you know, what's a white fan man like. So I watched this. I kind of feel like, um, what's the regular like, you know. So I watch just I kind of feel like like a almost like a predator watching his prey

like I'm like I feel like I'm learning about these people their habits like there's like one of the families is a group of women from the liberties and they're like from Dublin

and it's kind of interesting to watch like this is hmm these are people yeah and how are the people what are the people like the feature in it

the families and whatever so I'm any who's the star the star let's see now there's a three guys from Loud

they're real like lads yeah all right yeah and they're kind of cool what is going on oh so they can kind of yeah they're really good of reacting things they break the shit out of it and stuff a little bit not in any way clever

but they just have like no filter see again I'd love to hear like what they say what they edit out yeah yeah yeah because we're getting the charming bits you know but they're from loud let's be real lads from loud so like you know I'm sure there's a lot like ew what's that I'm like don't say that about you but so like there's those guys and there's a few other families it's not

it's not great no I can't imagine it is after a while they kind of get indoctrinated into it you're kind of like okay this is what that dad would say this is what that kid would say you kind of There's a gay lad with his granny to watch the TV They're kind of amusing Okay Does she know he's gay or is it like kind of Oh I don't know actually

That's what we call dramatic irony That's what we're all waiting for It's behind you It's like a modern Hitchcock's thriller You know And they're kind of good with like They'll have them They'll have them watch something silly

You know Like the show called America's top butch they watched which is kind of interesting was like uh these butchers competing and like but they throw them like it starts off like oh you gotta cut up this cow and they're like easy don't worry of body easy they all look like all's right uh oh really yeah yeah they're all american guys with beers they all like they're all like just waiting to shoot ronald ragan you know you know um but then they throw him a curveball like hey guess what here's n ostrich and they got

like killed the it's dead like they got to skin it with their bare hands like why the guy he meets, he goes, like, it's quicker to skin it with your hands and a knife. I don't he have that knowledge just ready to go. And people are like, well, he's very fast at that. Now, that's a butcher I can put my money on. He skins it and then he starts taking a hole. Like, no, you don't have to bury it. So you see them watching stuff like that.

Yeah. And you're like, hey, it's a crazy show they're reacting to with Gray. And then they'll jump like something sad. So they had like, you know, a documentary, a bad. Oh, Lenny Henry in his career. No, no, actually, the thing about Brendan Grace when he died. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was good, like. I didn't actually watch that.

Oh, yeah, it was, well, I watched the Gogh Box version. Well, people ask, but say they'll watch the whole thing. This is great now, it's like a cheat. It's like a cheat, it's kind of like, you don't match the day. Yeah, okay. You get to see the highlights. Right, right, it's highlights, yeah. Of the Brendan Grace funeral.

So what happens when they're watching something sad, do they get proper emotion? Oh, they get real emotionally, yeah. Really? Yeah, they get some money shots. especially if they get one of the older guys when he starts crying oh you can tell the guys in virgin media are like yeah yeah

like they play the documentary about that girl who got HPV oh yeah she got cancer and died and it was like not a dry eye in the house like so they'll play something like that and like all they're like going like just so sad and the media go like

and now they're going to watch X Factor and then like they start getting like back to silly stuff yeah okay and you kind of After a while, you're like, this feels like they're all my friends. And so what? You just get to know the people as you.

Like, are these people, like, are they famous now? Haven't been on Gogglebone side? Apparently don't get paid. Really? Yeah. They don't get paid. It's Ireland, like. Jesus, gross.

I think so they just get Chinese. Like, I think so. Four and one. No, someone told me, like, they actually do, like, just, like, hey, look, you get 10% of a Chinese and that's your lot. What the fuck? That's your lot. You want more?

This is Virgin One. Expect less. Oh, so they don't even get paid. That's like such an intrusion to have people come into your gaff. Yeah, they don't even give permission. They just show up, but we're going to film you. You're like, no, don't. Like, hey, look, do this is the hard way or the easy way?

I'm personally, I hope you go the hard way. So, yeah, they film them in the gaff watching things. Right. And it's, you know, I've watched, I feel like I've watched nine episodes. Yeah, Jesus, mine, I just could not fucking get in. Like, it's the premise of it. Watch people watching TV. but it's actually popular

oh it's very popular and there's a lot of it were like a lot of people like say like there's a lot of groups of like women and stuff like that or like kind of families who are like they'll say something dumb and then like the people watching it watching Gogglebox like

that's you that is oh really that's what you're like you know which one do they say you're like has they made that comparison yet no you're the weird uncle and keep chained down the basis No, they're actually kind of like, you know me.

So, we watched Goggle, what did we watch last night? Watch the big Gogglebox and after a while I was like, can we watch something else? Yeah. So he watched that, that new Louis Theroux documentary. Oh, what's it about? It's about polygamy. Oh, was that like getting married to multiple people? Yeah, yeah.

It was good. It felt more like an old school, Louis. Because the other way recently, you know, back in the day Louis did a lot of like, you know, I'm going to talk to a porn star and a bodybuilder and, like, it's going to be a bit silly. I might actually join in a bit and like you know Okay yeah

Whereas like when he did a place For paedophiles He couldn't really join in You know Well yeah He wanted to But they I wanted to immerse myself

In the world BBC wouldn't sign off On it Well if I even get away With like Petophilia's Louis I'm a researcher Everyone loves Louis Taru

Yeah The amount of normal women I see with like Louis Taru t-shirts And like They like Louis Turu memes And stuff Yeah

Well he's damn good What he does Like you know Yeah oh he's great Yeah I liked him before you did. You probably did. No, I don't know.

But, like, yeah, he's so good. And he's also related to Justin. Threw, the actor. Yeah, distantly, yeah. Married to Jennifer Aniston. He was, yeah, or he's engaged. I think they were married. I'm not sure.

It didn't last long. Which is surprising because he was in a show called Leftovers. This is Justin now, Justin Threw. And he was wearing shorts in one scene. He's running along, and you can very clearly see a massive cock's wickering. Oh, really? It's very distracting, like. It became a bit of a thing on.

social media. Oh, his class of cock. Yeah. And I was like, that's me, isn't it? And that one,

Artite. Hello? Hello? Quiet, you awful man. So anyway, Justin Taru, yeah.

Not a paedophile. Okay. So back to Louis, then. Poly, poly, a place for polygamy. Polygamy, yeah.

So it was interesting because you say polygamy to me. Yeah. I assume it's like three or four people and they're all fucking and sharing and like sucking and like paying the mortgage and like you know.

It's a good old time. Yeah, it's a good old time. All the couples he talked to, they all had boundaries. Boundaries. They all had like one couple in particular. It was kind of sad. It was like it was a, I forget to name the woman.

Let's say her name Susan for this. And then it was Joe and Jerry. Joe and Jerry. So Susan was married to Jerry. Okay. Is Jerry male or female? He's male. Okay.

And he's, you know, he's a very sweet kind of like, I am Jerry. Oh, he's kind of like a cook, is it? Yeah, he's real cookish. And he's Joe that is your likes. Joe's the guy, the beard, like, he just told. Yeah, so like, basically okay. Basically, okay.

Yeah. They were married and eventually she was like, I didn't feel fulfilled. Oh, shit. Just like, Jerry just couldn't, like, Jerry just, you know. Oh, my God. was enough for me and Jerry's like it's true I tried so hard to pleasure her but I'm

glad it's a two-man operation now I can outsource my work yeah yeah and enter Joe hey Jerry you little fucking throat how you doing huh I'm gonna bang this chick you're gonna watch you fucking freak you love it don't you so Joe also is a wife okay but he'd be start he start becoming friends with Susan all right

and then he started banging her so he comes over like uh let's say twice a week or something like that right okay and they have a pull out bed downstairs all right okay so they go to the pull out bed and they send they send jerry upstairs go to your wrong jerry oh my god and then they're like louis like really like trying to be delicate about it's like do you not like do you hear him during night or anything like that and he's like well i wouldn't go down and make a sandwich to case i heard something oh my god okay poor jerry So then we go to Joe's house Okay, and Joe's got a wife and kids and stuff Oh, they also have Susan and Jerry have a kid as well And they explain to the kid by going like You know the way you and your friends have sleepovers?

Well, me and Joe have sleepovers as well And Jerry's not allowed So that's why Jerry started going to your sleepovers kid He's also feeling unfulfilled And he's got to look elsewhere So like Joe seems like such a man Where he's like, I like keep everything separate I don't like being over in

Susan's house too much because she pays a lot of attention to her kid and to Jerry I don't like that so I like for when Susan comes over my house, we hang out my wife stays in the kitchen and Louis's talking to Joe's wife and she's like, we've had a lot of problems

but look if he can find happiness somewhere I don't want to stand in his way Jesus. No Joe isn't like Louis, he's not like he's not like Justin Drew He seems like a just kind of fat, regular, bearded guy

Yeah, yeah He doesn't even seem like Like, whoa, what's up? He's just some dude He's just some dude He's got a real dude vibe Like, yeah Like, Louis, like he's eating cereal

And Louie's talking like, do you think your wife minds that you're waiting at a woman? Nah. So he's like, Louis, like you can tell it he wants to dive deeper in this. Yeah.

So he sits, um, Susan and Jerry down and he's like um like really, So is Jerry allowed to, like, sleep other women? Yeah. And Susan's like, yeah, yeah, you know, if he wants to do that,

then he's like, Jerry, have you? And Jerry's like, I haven't been able to find anyone yet. I don't think I, I don't think I want to. All right. And then, like, he's like, would you ever want to, like, take part? Like a three way? Yeah. And Jerry's like, yes, I would.

But only if Susan can leave. No, no, he's like, yes. I would and Susan's like and then news like Susan like would you like if you had a tree way if Jerry joined in

and Susan's like I've never thought about it and Louis's pressing like well would you let it you know it's something it never would never cross my mind I don't I don't think Jerry would even want to do that

and Jerry's flat out asking her like can I join in and then Jerry literally okay Jerry's always like Jerry goes you know I wouldn't even mind just watching and Susan again's like you know that's something

never taught about You know, I think deep down, Jerry, you misspoke there. You don't want. You're serious? Basically has the vibe. Like, yeah. Poor Jerry. This is a poor fucker, man.

Like, there's one stage, okay? She's lying in bed with Joe. Yeah. And she's getting a text from, like, Jerry going like, oh. Easy over. No, no, no, no. She gets a text from Jerry going like, oh, he's just dropping the kid off of school now. He said, I love you.

That's sweet. Put the phone down. Just start sucking off Joe. Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. That's horrible. Like, I think, like, Jerry might win some kind of award for, like, most depressing, non-fiction character in history, like, just, his whole vibe is just so, like, oh, like, just when they

send him upstairs, he's like, oh, good night, love you. And she's like, oh, g-c. Oh, my God. So then, like, that was one couple. Well, one big happy couple. Yeah. then it goes to another place okay right and this is a it's three people and this seems more like more my thing like why tall would be we're like they sleep in one bed together oh okay right okay

yeah but they don't have threesomes what they do is so one of them has to leave early for work an hour early right so when he leaves she is sex with the with the other guy oh so it's two guys or a woman yeah yeah all right so when he leaves for work she banged like the other guy yeah okay and then the other guy gets home late so she bangs the guy had to leave early oh that's how they do it okay but they still sleep in the same bed okay clock in clock out yeah yeah cock in cocking oh oh hickory dickory um yeah um yeah so louis like you know but you did have three sons back in the day like when you first started and they're like and like the guy's like yeah but be honest you know uh uh

Bob lasts much longer than me so I didn't really like it what happened a lot is I finished very quickly I want to go to bed but they're banging no no he's like I finish quickly so I go downstairs and play

video games for a while and I come back up and Bob still fucking her and I didn't like it like all of them seem to have like one person who wasn't into it as like yeah that's the thing it just sounds like really horrible like and what does

what's this woman look like is she like really hot or the one with the two lads yeah she's got a charm to her

yeah and what are they are they all lookers no no no they look like proper like um

um um um dungeon and the dragons playing not in a bad way now but they kind of you know what

you'll tell you what if you're an 80s movie and you have to cast the nerds you cast those ads yeah right like they're real

like like well it's funny as well when that guy was going like you know bob can last much longer than me bob never speaks during that base it's like oh yeah he's just because it gives a no one look to louis like you know what i mean louis so then near the end of the documentary uh louis to go to these party meetups they have right okay and uh it's like orgies or no they're topless and stuff but it's mostly it's blindfolding and making people eat things oh yeah so Louis does a bit of that

he joins in a little bit Oh he blindfolded He gets shirtless And he puts a blindfold And he gives him like a bit Like chocolate or something like that And You're like

Wow this is like This seems shit What But it's just for polygamists Yeah it's like a meet up thing It's not like you don't fuck right there In the living room But you meet up like hey

I like you Hey let's go for dinner Oh I see It's not just like Fucking gonna fuck you now Louis get out away here I can yeah

it's more just like yeah it seems like your vibe or like your thing you like wind chimes I like wind chimes

because all they seem very hippieish you know and then let's have a a relationship that goes badly in the end

yeah how many of these polygamous relationships end in murder suicides not enough I hope

no no No, I won't say I hope Jerry kills him, but I hope Jerry... No, I want Jerry to kill them. I hope Joe gets killed. Joe seemed like a bit of a dick. He just seemed like such a like, one of those guys, you know, that everything was handed to him.

He's like, hey, what's up? You know, I've got off two wives. What do you want? What do you want? You want to make a documentary about me? What? Yeah, I guess so. All right.

Hey, Forres, get out of here. Meet it. Uh, what, you lying me bastard? Yeah, I don't know. Susan, to me, sounds like a, I mean, that's... Susan's the worst person. Very manipulative. You know what, Joe's not hiding anything.

Yeah. Yeah, he's like, an asshole, but you know he's an asshole. He's like, I don't like you hanging out with your kids. You should just be with me while my wife's in the kitchen. That's how it should be. And you're like, hey, look, that's who he is. Susan's the one being like, because she's like, hey, Jerry can go out and meet someone all he wants. But you know that.

As soon as the camera's off. Yeah. You fucking get it. Yeah. If Jerry brought back a young 28-year-old, like, oh, hi, how you doing? She would be not be allowed in the house. No. Jerry would get oh

say goodbye your toes Jerry you like that scene in misery yeah whatever you're thinking of doing please don't do it

just hobbling she just hobbles Jerry like smashes the legs of bits and then sucks off Joe and then Joe's like now you get to watch you better finish that book Jerry that's all I know

oh what book his book is just like and then he fucked my wife the end oh fucking hell actually one of the girls I'm hanging out with well she's a friend of one of the girls

I'm hanging out with right okay she's big in this thing called I think it's called Extreme Love Extreme Love It's like a show all about different types of love and sex stuff like that Kind of fetish stuff Yeah well it depends

Like some of it's just like you know An older woman like is a girl like her 90s and she bangs like older lads A girl in her 90s Yeah Oh what do you say An old bridge

What do you call out Wait Some old cunt or 90s Yeah it's some old hag Yeah Who bangs young lads Yeah like 20 year olds And she's like

You know Hey this is who I am Fair enough I thought my husband died When I was 30 Or something I think her like No her husband died

When she was like 40 And she was like I thought I'd meet the right guy I met the right guys Ew Showing in my fucking pussy well at the edge of

90s she probably needs about five dicks at once just to feel anethic you know what I mean I mean god it's probably a mess down there really when you think about it I'm not an OBGYN

what's that mean uh gynaecologist oh is that what they're called yeah yeah yeah I thought that meant bring your own beer to the gynecologist's office alright that we're gonna party

you got pushy a beer a beer a six pack of beer he's just like Yo, do you like examine I'm their age girls You do

Brough Bound it Oh my God So extreme love then Yeah So there's no old lady What was the other ones now A lot of them

Were kind of like standard enough Like It's like you know Uh Just like You know Polygamy again That was mentioned

Right Hey we like to dress up like wizards and like, okay, boring. Yeah, it's kind of more stupid than extreme. Yeah, it's more stupid, yeah. It should be called stupid love.

There was one about, I didn't know about the whole animal side of it, not fucking animals, but like, you know, like, pretend to be a dog and then they bring you out a leash. Okay, yeah. Yeah, what's it called?

It's called, um, animal play or something like that, you know? And they really get into it, like, you know, the proper, like, dress up, You know, they'll get angry at you. Like, if you say, like, you're a human, like, no, I'm a dog, and I'm a good dog.

And you're like, okay, I wish I hadn't talked to you at this dinner party. Oh, I picked the wrong seat here. Like, they're really into it. And, like, they're kind of, like, you know, bring them out for walks. And, like, sometimes, like, but it's, like, a compound where, like, there's other people dressed as dogs as well. Sometimes they, they start barking to each other and they've got to spanked a dog. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah.

And they're dressed like dogs They're proper run around And they're four legs Oh my God Yeah And they roll around the back Sometimes got a scratcher And stuff like

And they're like Is this a sexual element to this And they're like Yeah And you want to see it Yeah And then All of it

I was like Yeah Whatever like Like go for it You want to be like a dog And run around the place Why not? Yeah

You know The only one was like My got issues of this Was a Two men consensual gay couple I was like way hold on here

and you're not dressed up like dogs what's going on no no there's one where like it was like it was really extreme you know age play no age play it's like you know

oh I'm a little girl okay right right but this is like a girl but she wore diapers and like the boyfriend changed her and stuff like that and she put up loads of videos of her like me whoa I don't know like that like just gibberish like like she put up she's put up some blocks and the blocks fall down

she's like my blocky fall down like like that and uh that's the only one was like i question the boyfriend here yeah who wants to bang a baby but she's a full grown woman but what's funny is she was like she puts up videos every day right yeah and she's saying like yeah i got a lot of fans um a wide variety of fans like no you don't there is one particular type of fan so she's on youtube and stuff is she yeah You could probably look. I don't want to. It made me feel uncomfortable.

Yeah. That makes me, everything else, I'm like, yeah, go for it. Even beheading videos, I'm like, yeah, go for it. Whatever makes you, you know? Who am I stand in the way of true love? I don't want to slut shame you. Yeah. But like that stuff, like, her just rolling around with a diaper.

And then the bifference, like, people on YouTube are really mean to me to say I'm a paedophile. I don't even know where that come from. Anyway, time to change your nappy. Oh, you made a brown. Brown. Oh, she actually shit herself?

She's saying what she literally said was like he doesn't mind changing me when I go pee

and we're going to work her way up to shit Oh but so does she just be act like a

baby the whole time? As much as possible okay and then in the bedroom like when they

fuck is it like she's still being a baby or what that's what they hint at yeah that's so fucked up

man that's bizarre Jesus So no You're not on my side I thought I could win you over I was going to change the tone This podcast

For now we just watch those videos And comment on it And we don't even comment We just go like Yeah She's not young enough What's that old hag Dressed like a baby

But I feel like you know that's the only thing I'm like she did actually get molested probably yeah no she did she said that oh yeah yeah right right right so like that's the only thing you're like oh maybe just like her

trying to reclaim her innocence but then she said I probably would be into see if it wasn't molested even if I wasn't molested I still be into baby play I guess we'll never know unless you the time machine

oh man that's so weird yeah Was it on, like, where did you, was it on Channel 4? This girl will show me on a Facebook page. Oh, okay, right, right. I think they find clips from all different types of reality shows. Oh, so it's not lying thing?

I think the page is called Extreme Love. I see, right, right. And they get clips from, like, a lot of Channel 4 shows. Channel 4 really loved that kind of, like, hey, this guy's got a weird head. Let's show rocks at him. It's empowering. Yeah.

More 4. They're all, basically, E-4 Freak show Yeah Well the thing is Hey look Some of them are getting

Free Chinese out of it It's just a discount Oh you're right Yeah It's a depressing world What else can we talk about It was kind of like Piafah talk

A guy in Dublin Bus Here about Dublin Bus driver No He got caught with child porn And now he's back at the job Really? He's back driving the buses Oh my God

Wow Yeah Do they say a what bus specifically? It's not a school bus, this. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, where do you like? No, he shouldn't be allowed because kids are getting on his bus. Yeah. You know, he's a nods. Another RT guy got caught with child porn as well. Oh. No one big.

No? Another producer, some boring sports producer. You're like, wah-w-w-w-w-w-ha. Yeah. I want someone big. I want the big fish. He's like the minnows. Let's swim around.

the big fish getting a leftover child porn I didn't hear about that bus driver at all like oh it's the front page of the sun for some reason okay they're always going with like rape or people they're worse than us man like the sun especially like every time I walk past the shops like

on the way of college I look in at the papers and it is just like the word rape must be used every single time yeah they just go for the most like shocking rape child porn what would be the perfect article rape child porn immigrants. You gotta marry one, fuck, one, kill one.

Rake, trial porn, immigrants, and Megan Markle. Stick it together. Man, you got a story. Now, how to put it together? I'm not sure. I don't want to try.

No, that's why we're not journalists, Brian. Yeah, yeah. We couldn't hack it. But yeah, and it's always kind of like, they grab your attention. I think the deliberately kind of word, weird, is,

well like um where it's just slightly ambiguous so you want to read the story yeah like it's like sports that are caught in rape rap and you're like he's doing a rap now my name emcee g g or well it's very interesting that um i heard that uh completely unrelated. Conno McGregor has just announced his next fight, supposedly. No, he said, I think he didn't he say he's going to fight someone for free. Oh, really? Yeah.

Wow, he's desperate. McGregor is going to be a guy in like you know, 50 years from now you know Paul Gaskind? Yeah. That's going to be Paul Gaskin. Gaza? Yeah. It's going to be showing up to like a hostage situation with a fishing rod and a raw

chicken. You're fucking not. I didn't even know about Paul Gaskind until recently. Yeah. it uh explain to listeners who he is okay paul gascoyne was like a really good footballer played for england and stuff but he was a raging alcoholic and a bit of a madman and uh so yeah he kind of became like he released an autobiography he kind of became like a tabloid star after his football career just for his antics and uh a lot of drunken antics a lot of like uh yes they have to be like

forced to go into rehab a few times oh yeah a few times but he's just but he's definitely got some mental illness as well so do anything really bad just like alcoholism. Just alcoholism, I think. Like, probably some drugs as well. I don't think he ever... But, like, he never, like, you know, battered someone

or, like, did anything like that crazy, did he? I'm not sure. He might have, like, gotten in some drunken fights. I've always heard about him. Kind of, like, oh, Paul Gascoigne drunken mess. I never heard about, like, uh... Well, like, there were some...

What was the dude's name, Raoul Mote or so? Rowl Mote. Now, wasn't he... What was his story? I don't know, but whatever he did... My name, Raul Mote, and I'm here to say. Kill my social worker. I think that.

That's what happened. He killed someone and then he was on the run and then there was like a standoff hostage situation where he was threatening to kill himself if the cops came near him. So Gaza showed up with a bunch of weird shit like he had a fishing rod and a raw chicken like I'm not even mad like. Yeah, yeah. I think I remember this lately. He wanted to help. Yeah, he was like, don't worry labs. I've got it. I don't even know what he sounds like to be honest. But yeah, he just wanted to help. think of all different situations if Paul Gascoigne showed up oh god the Philo Munich would be very different wouldn't it? Oh there's such a good vein of like the towers are a fire or a fish and rod

because when they're like taken out of Osama bin Laden it's like Navy seals and then Paul Gascoigne it's over here they're trying to open the fire exit doors oh geez do you hear about Paul Gascon recently actually the only reason I know about him

is because recently he gone to a bit of sexual trouble we can end this soon enough I think we might end on this we'll end it on this so basically he was on a I think it was a train train or a bus and apparently he was just drinking cans

and making a mess and this is his description okay okay he was like look all I did was I kissed a fat lass on lips of cammer down oh god yeah so he just he kissed a girl without permission right uh what do you mean to cammer down what was she because she was getting nice all the cans

and he was apparently was making a lot of noise oh right yeah and also she said this is her description he was drinking something out of a milk carton but it wasn't milk that's her description that's fucking great that's amazing which is the best

thing ever because the only way if you're an alcoholic you put in a flask okay he's got a milk cart no one will suspect

the milk cart oh my god you're just swing it on a train just swiging a milk an open milk not like a mood you thing with a cap on it like an actual

like that is fucking So yeah, apparently he was drunk, just kissed some girl. And is he getting done for her? No, he just got freed there. Okay. Yeah, this was like a year ago. And the thing when he came out recently was found out, like, I think, it wasn't, he wasn't in it.

He found, like, just, like, being like, they were like, it was kissed, both non-sexual, just drunken mess. Plus he played for England, so. Right. Yeah. Cut him some slack. If only Saville could have kicked a football, you know? That's what that was his big thing. God, his numbers were way further up.

Marathons, you idiot Yeah, so Paul Gascon got away with it Right, okay Poor man He was just trying to calmer down I love his description like I kissed a fat lass To cammer down

Yeah, yeah Not even like, he was just like Basically like, yeah I've shipped to some fat bitch I told her, I said like Hey, listen lady smile And she didn't smile So like what did you know

Just plant one right on her Yeah Yeah, good old gazzin Yeah That'd be awesome day, Brian But that's, I'm saying, that's going to be Connor McGregor now in a few years. Just a drunken mess. I actually think we'd like him more when he's just a mess.

I don't think anybody's going to be liking him for much longer. No, I think, whatever you're suggesting. I'm not suggesting anything. I just have a feeling there's something in the air that, you know, opinion, the tides will turn. You know, what's funny. You know, the way it's always, like, unrelated. I always, like, you keep seeing these headlines like, sports star, rapes again, you know, like, you know. the rape baron

he's out there somewhere he left a clue a bottle of really bad whiskey yeah a bottle of shit whiskey and like which type ah you know

but like to keep like insinuating who it is and we don't know like it could be gay burn but it probably is but it would be funny if it turned out it was just like some guy you just played

like county he was like he's like they're just so glad in like fucking Framana or Tyrone right like I got away with it

the fools they're all looking at him yeah he puts his cape around him yeah I think best case scenario is Carmen McGregor goes out

like Royal Motes where he's just in the woods somewhere by a gun do you know you heard the shotgun you heard the gun go off in Sky News. Oh, was that right?

It was live. Yeah. So basically, they were live at the hostage. The guy had a gun to his head in a hostage situation, okay? No, it wasn't even that. He was the hostage.

Yeah, no, there was no hostage. Yeah, yeah. It was like a standoff kind of thing. Standoff, like, he was just treading to kill himself. I love when people do that, like, I'm going to kill myself and like... Good. Yeah.

I mean, like, you're saying us a lot of time here because you've killed someone, okay? So we're going to bring you the court anyway. So, like, and that's a lot of paperwork. Okay, so, Wham! Tick-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-L-D-L-A-MU-B-B-B-H-D-L-D-L-B-B-H-H-D-L-T-L-T-U-BIN. Yeah. Yeah, but you heard a suicide on, like, TV. On Sky News.

Yeah. Ah, that's a try. I didn't know that now. Yeah, you heard the gun go off. Good. So that's, that could be. If only all news reports could end like that, just somebody shooting themselves in the distance. And little Timmy can now see again. This just in, little Timmy sees nothing.

He blows his bloody eyeballs out there twas. twat I got to I don't think is there any little other thing we can just

talk real quick before we go about Justin Trudeau again just to give an update Oh is there

an update Yeah there's an update Yeah So you know The way Justin Trudeau He's on

Prime Minister of Canada And he got caught doing blackface From a Halloween party Went two years ago

There's a picture of him in Blackface Yeah Yeah of him I think he was doing like Aladdin or something

Is Arabian Knights The theme or something even the party sound shit like regardless of the blackface elements he just wanted to spice it up a bit

yeah yeah it was it was like it was like you put spike the punch bowl or do blackface don't make me choose uh go on so like that's a PR nightmare getting caught as we'll know soon though

that's a P you get caught doing blackface they don't care about the how long ago it was I don't care about how cool the party was So his way of dealing with it was So he issued an apology And then he went on a Facebook live show Called New Mom Who This

Okay Bad start Now new mom who this Guess how to spell this D-I-S Oh yeah Because that's what the kids like Otherwise kids would be like

This how do you spell this? T-H-Ur Boring Yeah Yeah Okay so he went He went on it, okay? Some woman, I think she's a mother.

And she's into... It's the first episode, and she gets Justin Trudeau. I assume she must be famous for something else beforehand. Yeah, okay. She called it in favor. Yeah, okay. So first question, everyone's like, is she going to ask about the black face?

First question. Is it true, you've a dad bod? And he's like, I wouldn't even know what that means. You know, like... Next question, are you righteous? Yeah. what the fuck you have a dad pod could you imagine fucking charlie rose since well yes given uh the things that came out oh you're right oh shit you're right i forgot about there's so many of them

i can't keep track yeah he'd be like well i were dad bod and then he'd just show it just take his robe off get down get down and i'll stop music to start playing so she throws him a low ball first to give a dad bod and she's all just like so why are you such a great prime minister stuff like that And then she brings out two children, two black children, okay? She's like, my friends have a question for you. And the kids are like, Mr. Prime Minister, why did you do? Why did you paint your face brown? Like that.

And he's like, it was a bad thing to do. It was a, I'm not, yeah, shouldn't I done it? But I'm going to do it again. This is so weird. It feels so fake Like Yeah You're like this must be like

One of those things Like they put people's faces On the other things like Like the CGI Yeah this must be CGR Those aren't real black children What is going on This that must be like

Andy Circus playing He's backstage Like dressed in a green Like Chops of things So yeah he just does like It was a bad thing to do And they're like

But some reason their follow up It's like Did you paint your hands Brown as well And he's like I did did and uh you know committed and uh i've apologized and frankly i think uh you should stop asking questions about this or else uh no he didn't say that he didn't say that or else uh unless uh

let you want to go on a little drive through a tunnel in france meep me oh yeah yeah and that's the end of the interview like that's so weird so i didn't watch the actual interview okay i watched a news report about the interview right okay so so that The show ends there and then cut back to the newsroom, okay? And they're like, well, there you have it. I must say he is looking so good right now. And then I started reading text and it's like Toronto Man 67 says, ooh, he definitely does have a dad bod.

Trudeau is hot, all capitals. This had to be an American, like, a news report. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is shocking what passes for news there. Yeah, it is. It's like a glossy magazine show. Yeah. Ooh, who's the sexiest

World leader? We'll find out after Leagues message. I'm not thinking, like, who'd be funny like you get, like, someone on? Who's someone like, who created De La Genocide? Robert Mugabe. Yeah, Robert Mugabe.

Mr. Mugabe, do you have a dad bod? Ooga, chaco. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, wait. I can't defend that Who else can we have That was my blackface moment right there

Now the message is You ever say anything racist or do blackface Go to the gym Yeah Look good I don't know You can just get a dad bod like Yeah

I'm still out of luck Ah I'm ruined You've got divorced dad But Granddad bod Granddad bod Granddad's not doing well Well I think we're going to end the show there

Yeah We might do another one after this Do you want to do a basic instinct episode It's up to you man I didn't watch it So Fuck it We'll do a basic

Instic episodes That's the tease Because you know All the kids Love basic instinct So that's the end The show Do you have any plugs

Before we go No Oh well Got that roast battle But You got a roast battle Coming up James

You want to plug it at all Vodafone Comedy Carnival October 25th I'm gonna be Roasting So the foods Roasting

I smell I smell Do you smell What I'm cooking Yeah That's it yeah Yeah No it should be fun

No Or it could be the end Well, we were saying before Like, the ultimate thing Do a Roast would just be like Just batter them off Yeah, just beat the shit out of the stage Yeah, yeah

That's how you're in respect It's like prison, you know Roast is like prison You just got to hit the biggest guy there Or piss yourself so they won't go near you That's another thing If you're going to prison, piss yourself So they won't rape you

Yeah, but then if you piss yourself too much They start beating the shit out of you Because you stink of piss it's like a oh no yeah yeah so oh shit

yeah find a nude like show something sharp up your asshole that'll work just shoot yourself

do aroul moats that's the that's the mental health episode yes thank you for that's how we should

end to the mental health show is just like do around moats goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye