Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 4 : We Like To Drink Lean

Episode Date: September 13, 2018

Brian talks about jacking off with old men on the internet.

help I need somebody help not just anybody help no need someone like Brian O2 John Dennan was shot He was

He deserved it the hippie Um Welcome to Brian and James Fuck each other With me Brian And you James Actually do you ever watch What's name of the guy

Who shot John Denon Is Mark David Chapman Yeah There's a film about that Chapter of 27 with Jared Lito and he gained a load of weight Have you watched it? I have, yeah.

Actually, I never saw it all, but I saw it. I did say I just watched the money shot him again. Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's very, yeah, it's like, it's very good. Jared Lito or Leto, very good actor. Leto, leto. He's a great actor, but his music is absolute shite. It's 30 seconds to Mars, yeah.

30 seconds is how long I can listen to it. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Oh, Brian. Oh. Don't talk to him about it like that. He's a god. A wise guy, huh? Best Joker ever.

Well, I was going to say, yeah, Mark David Chapman, do you ever hear, see, he was on the Larry King show? After he was... After he shot? Yeah. It's so weird because Larry King is going like, so what was going through your mind when you shot him? Just like, I don't know, I better not miss.

Well, Larry, where do I begin? Well, Larry, thanks for having me. I got to say, I'm a big damn. And, yeah, I shot him. I did. I regret it. I don't know. Yeah. But it's interesting. I'll check that out now. Pretty well for my career, actually.

He's dead now, isn't he? Or is he still alive? No, still alive. Oh, wow. Still kicking. He definitely shouldn't be... I think he keeps coming up for parole, and people are like, no fucking way. You killed imagine. I don't know. John Laine was a pretty bad person. Obviously, I'm not condoned a murder.

He was, like, he was a woman beat her. Like, he beat up some girlfriends and stuff, and he was... Yokel? No, I don't think he beat Yolk. Like, this is, like, when he was a teenager. he had a lot of trouble with like beating up women and like very misogynous kind of like that's sort of you know the imagine john lennon like peace in love for out in the world that all came quite late in his career he was quite like a womanizer and he was quite an abusive person even to like there's that very famous quotes somebody said to john lennon

do you think wringo star is the best drum in the world and he goes best drummer in the world and he goes best drummer in the world. He's not even the best drummer in the Beatles. He was just a prick, like. Yeah, that's hard to hear. Dan good. Dan good musician. Yeah, musicians get away so much. Like, we talked about it before in the previous episode, but like, even like, you know, X-X-Xsang Chion?

Yeah, that guy. Didn't he, like, he'd be up like a pregnant woman, didn't it? Yeah, that's insane. He was only 20? Yeah. I never, literally never heard of him until he died, and I still had a listen to him. He was like, I can't listen to that mumble rap shrike, man. Yeah, it's not good. Goch again, good-y-g-g-g-gag.

I fuck a bitch, I know a name. And there I go doing the voice again. I can't help myself. I have a problem, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry. God, musicians are all cunts. I've used to live with some of them. Mumble rap artists? Oh, I seem to live in a mumble rapper very like,

you know what, mumble rappers, I think. It literally is just like, they've just drank so much lean. Yeah, yeah. Their brains fucked. I'd love to try lean. That's how you had. Oh, no, you did a film. You didn't you do a film?

We shot a pilot where my character was a. addicted to lean, but it wasn't actual lean. You didn't go for a day Lewis on it? No, no, I should have. I would like lean, but then you see like the extreme cases. Yeah, they get like really addicted to it. They're all stroking out and they can't stop. Yeah, like Lil Wayne

had like four strokes or some shit. Jesus. Her guy. Well, their thoughts and prayers are witness to Wayne. I know he's listening. He's in the hospital right now. He's listening to us. Like, they better give me a shout out on the podcast. There I go again. Why do you want to keep doing? I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. There is no hatred behind it. I have no hatred in my heart. I just enjoy doing accents and impersonations and voices. I don't think anyone's offended. I just want to make it clear that I'm not. You know, James Gunn got fired from Guardian's Galaxy Tree because of old tweets. You won't be hired.

No, I won't be. They'll hear. Just bring me into the boardroom and press play. Please leave, Mr. Gannon. Take your belongings with you. Yes, you have the job. Have you ever done blackface in the podcast? Oh. Would that affect the job, would it? If I did them in the meeting with that. What if I came in and performed a minstrel show for you? I'm like, do it.

Minstrel shows, they were actually, like, a legit thing. Yeah, like, Vod Phil was, like, a big part of it was menstrual shows. Like, it's just so grotesque. But, you know, sorry to interrupt, but, like, Bruce Forsy. Bruce Forsy. Brucey? He did, they did, they had minstrel shows on the BBC variety shows in the early 70s. So there is like footage of Brucey doing a minstrel show.

That's fucking full back. In the 70s is mad. I know in the 70s because it's, I mean, it's like only 40 years ago. Man. Imagine if near the end, his brain went a bit and he started doing it during strictly. What's her there, it just comes up. Well, hey, well, now, y'all gonna do some d'ams, you know? okay that one was racist I can't defend that one at all

it's making fun of yeah yeah yeah it's a grotesque cartoonish yes it is it's so horrific it's not even entertaining but even like in madmen I remember run the characters Roger did it like blackface did the whole like mammy

kind of thing okay and even though you're watching it going like this isn't this is just like it's not entertaining no but it's just people enjoyed it because they laughed at Other than him, he thinks, look. Yeah, that is how black people behave. That's what they thought. Yeah.

It's pretty fucked up. Birth of a Nation, do you ever see that? Wasn't, isn't that pro? Oh, it's, yeah, it's like, it's very, you know, it paints the KKK as heroes who come and save, like, a town from, like, black people who have gone crazy and are ravaging the women and stuff. It's horrific, but it was really fucked up is birth of a nation actually was very trailblazing in terms of film techniques. Like, a lot of, like, so.

It's actually considered one of the greatest films all time just because it pioneered so many techniques that were revolutionary, but it's just so horrifically, grotesquely, racist and offensive. It's very, it's very strange. Like there's, what the fuck was the director? Oh, he did it.

D.W. Griffith, what the fuck is the name? D.W. Griffith Award? The director, but there's still an award called a D.W. Griffith Award, if that's his name. It's something... And he was clearly a racist. He was clearly a racist.

Well, didn't he do a film after it's called intolerance, something like that? I think he kind of backtracked it. Yeah, I think he did, but yeah, it's just, you can't really. Jesus, we really are not even deep in the race issue. I know, I'm so, yeah.

As the one thing I said, James, that's not... We literally went to Starb... We went to Starbucks before this, and I said, James, okay, good, great work on the podcast, but please don't talk about a burdenation. Because you keep watching it.

You have to... Tattoos. I came in dressed as a union general. Rise again. They shouldn't take down those statues. They were heroes. Confederate flag is history. Well, with Brexit and all that, it's the new big thing.

Yeah, well, like... That's such a shit joke. Brex happened three years ago. Yeah, but it's just... Brexit has just been such a gigantic joke from day one. You know, we're seeing now that, like, none of the policies have been implemented. They haven't put any real thought into any of it. because it was such a ridiculous notion

nobody really thought about putting any effort into it and now all the original campaigners have jumped ship and it's just all the fools left over trying to make it a reality. It's funny with both Brexit and Trump, I went out the night before for both of those events. Yeah. So for both of those events when the news came out,

I was hungover in a stranger's house. So actually someone walking, like Brian and it kicked me like Brian, you okay? I'm like, Trump won or Brexit happened. And I'd be like, oh, the world just got there. or then I go back to sleep. That's fucked up. It is quite terrifying.

You know, we're just seeing this sort of a resurgence of alt-right opinions. I mean, it's always been there, but now it's sort of flourishing into the mainstream consciousness just with Brexit. Like, the big focus on that was the ban on immigration. Trump obviously has his immigration ban in the US. You know, it's just like worldwide intolerance. I was, like, trying to keep a track of all this. I was reading all the Guardian articles and all that

trying to be like real educated Yeah, you're trying to finger a librarian So you read the garbage Look, look, I'm reading it It's a pop-up book The print version Not just digital I'll subscribe digital as well

Oh God, please love me But yeah so I was reading I was trying to keep all up to date And like who people, the players wore and all that Inventures gave up Because no one's happening also like It's not like Theresa May is going to call me In the middle of night

and be like, Brian, need your help. And I'm going to have to, like, don't worry, Theresa. I've got it, COVID. It's mental. It's bad. Actually, speaking of bad, I'm going to segue. This is fucking, very depressing shit. Yeah, sorry, let's get happy.

I'm going to ask you a random question. It's not happy either. What's the worst gig you've ever done? Okay, worst gig I've ever done. Definitely, and you were there because you were on the same bill. It was a gig we did in Caracross just after Christmas gone by there. Yeah. It was a charity gig.

and we were happy to do it, be a part of the charity raised money, that's all great. We got paid for as well. Did we? I got paid. I didn't get paid. Oh, sorry. God damn it. Well, my worst gig just got a little bit worse, ladies and gentlemen. But yeah, so we were there. But the crowds that came were not a crowd who wanted to see

comedy. They were a crowd who were there in aid of the charity. So it was a lot of really old people. And this is Carrick McCross, which I think is fair to say isn't the most cosmopolitan part of the world. In a temple bar. No, no. And I'm a Monaghan man, so I know, but

my mother was in the crowd, and it was the only time she'd ever seen me perform, and I bombed so hard, like not every single joke, just pure silence, and the only time it wasn't silence, it was just audible disapproval, like, oh, yeah, yeah,

every, harumph, harum, harum, and at one point I looked down to my mother, and she just has her head in her hands, shaking her head, I was like, my son! My son! yeah so that was oh god

I bombed in front of my mother that was my worst gig that sounds awful I was there for that you were there for that you were kind of down afterwards I was you were a bit miffed

yes I was oh god she's a nice woman though oh she is yeah we do we went back home and I tell you what the next day the only thing she said

was like tough crowd huh more or less so like yeah she was cool did you remember I don't want to bring you up but remember like

the thing he said where he wasn't going to well oh my god i kept that's right i kept saying and i don't know why it just kept coming into my head but like every time they groaned or were disapproving i just kept saying every show needs a villain but i just kept saying it over and over pantomime i don't know and you just kept laughing about it like every show needs a villain it was a bit of phantom de up there's like your cape up it Oh, Jesus. So what's your worst gig?

I've never done from my mother now. I couldn't, I couldn't handle that. Yeah, it wasn't. It was horrible. I wouldn't recommend it. My first gig, no, my worst gig was, it was just, I just had a, it must be like two years ago now. Maybe like Christmas 2016, let's say. Yeah.

I had a really bad acid trip, like the week before. Oh, really bad. Yeah. Like, um, like, I taught on my teeth had fallen out. They found me stumbed around the place and, like, that to, like, help me into the apartments. Jesus. Like, uh, just not good at all. Like, like, I just stayed in bed.

and, like, couldn't sleep for, like, ages. I've been there. And I was really, like, kind of fucked in the head, like, not good at all. Yeah, yeah. And I had a gig coming up. And, again, I just realized all these stories, like, just really sound like,

we just take drugs and, like, fuck up gigs. That's our lives. They're giving me an opportunity, and I just fucked it up. There's a reason why we're not successful. Why aren't we in a laughter lounge? What? Anyway, so. Anyway, let's cook up.

I'll get a spurn a spoon. I would find the cellar. Shoot, nothing. me alley in the stairway I'm like Camines when he got on stage you're like go to the way Eden Bishop trips over you Who the fuck is this kid get out of here

You're a junkie you're a bum I know one cares to actually do an intervention or anything just like I hope to die so we move on our lives Anyway I did the acid and about less than a week later I have to do the international I think it was like my first time doing the inter

Okay first time ever So it was pretty kind of like It was like in my head it built up like Oh my God It's daunting yeah all the great have played here. It's true. It's one of like the most renowned clubs in Dublin. Probably my favourite club in Dublin. But anyway, so

get on stage and I'm still kind of shaky but I kind of had just kind of confidence of like yeah, but like I'll be all right. And then I got on like just fucked up like the first few jokes just grammar wise. Right, right. Couldn't even talk properly.

Just in terms of setups and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And then I just kept getting worse and worse. And then like I kind of did like half, I kind of like tell him why what was going I took some asses and had a bad trip and it's just like

went real confessional but just sad sorry a fucked up guy at the stage like yeah I took some asses that's why it's not going so well that's why you're not laughing

at me right I'm such a loser I suppose well you just clap for me for sympathy every show needs a villain it looks like every show needs a fucking

junkie loser yeah so nothing then it's just like that's the end of my set oh what off and the other comedians were like I must have like showing something on my face

because the other comedians are proper like it's okay it's okay it happens the best of us and they could tell they were like let's take shoelaces away from it I just say to stay through bro oh fuck that's great

that was the worst I was so I'm because like then I didn't have another gig for like three weeks after that and that was like the worst that was like when I'm just going to keep up oh god really that's like if they ever geeked with that my head is like the acid fuck my brain up I've lost I can't stand up anymore

yeah yeah that's like there is a fear of like a really bad drug experience that you'll be left you know like mentally scarred and you're afraid you'll be schizophrenic or something most of the time you don't get schizophrenic every now and again but most of the time you don't yeah so for any aspiring comedians listen out there you're gonna have some rough ones but hang in there

it gets better I hope this is good like where like the spires stopping from committing suicide. This reminded me now of, like, I was listening to Joe Duffy once. Yeah. And speaking of, like, suicide, there was, um, this guy on, you shouldn't really laugh about like, there's this guy, all these people complaining that, like, um, oh, Joe, like, like, we paid this contractor to do work, like, a year ago.

Yeah. And he didn't, he hasn't done the work. He took the money, he didn't do the work. And then people calling, like, yeah, I know that contractor. I've been, like, five years ago he hasn't done it for me. Five years. And they kept him more and more. And then eventually they were like, um, we have them on, the contractor.

We have them on. so in your head you're like oh yeah joe's gonna get him joe joe standing up for little man that people yeah yeah and then this guy get thought and just like email he's like oh joe what uh what's going ah like that he's just like really already he's like oh what i hear they're talking about me oh no and like joe's like these people like um

you took their money and did do the work oh but joe i was away for two weeks on holiday i'm sorry joe i just couldn't i couldn't i couldn't keep track of what's going it's like you own for like five years ago I was like, but Joe, I was away for two weeks. I just, I just, I wasn't on the ball, Joe. And eventually, like, he just kept going on like, oh, Joe, you know, the recession and Joe, like, I'm trying my best, Joe. And then Joe goes, or are you in over your head, were you?

And he goes, yes, Joel. And then Joe, I think, just got sorry for him. And it's like, all right, well, I tell you, now, um, we're going to send you on some numbers. Oh, my God. It's all too much. Yeah. I could relate to that guy when I was doing that show. did you ring

Joe, don't know Joe took acid in the gig It was the interim show There's my only chance And Joe was like Were you over your head I'm once, Joel We're going to send you some numbers

He gets them open spots You'll be fine Oh Jesus Christ Try the battle again You could win the duck Oh Joe I can't get to duck I listen to a lot of Joe Duffy

Because I'd ever listen to Oh because I work on a farm a lot Or like on sites and stuff like that So I'm always like in a machine that can only literally get like RT1 R2 or Beat You know like that So listen to Beat 102 103

Do do do Hi guys you're listening to Beat 103 Okay we're going to have great competition You're going to win some tickets to Magaloo But first let's hear the new one from Beyonce Yeah it is like That's actually the first like proper. Thank you. Thank you.

If any people from Beat FM or listening, you have to know that. I am. Oh, yeah, yeah, David Hammond. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to David Hammond. Now we're definitely not getting on beat. I thought they could like syndicate this show on beat. I've just ruined their chances. All their stuff

was fine. All the racism was the racism. The racism of suicide. That's all great. The drug internet. So I listened with all that radio shit. Yeah. Radio 1 and it is really I think it's interesting that in America like all their hosts

like, you know, the tonight show and they're like comedians or presenter. They're like talented, funny people. Yes, yeah. And Ireland, we just get fucking just... Like, journalists, like ex-journalists and like people like hosts like, they're like DJs and put on TV and stuff like that, but literally they have no

there's like the most mild, no talent at all. Like Tuberty and Darkseye, they're just so awkward and actually speaking of suicide. Toburdy is, who strikes me as a guy. No, sorry, Darcy strikes me as a guy he seems really happy

and he's like Oh he seems happy Then he commits suicide You'd be like To all he seemed happy Like did he And he go like Actually no now you say it

And then dust And the turkey comes out He was bleeding Malest of me That old toy Whip Whip And Socky Changes on the deer

Now like Ah Ray He was a dark soul You know But Ray Ray is just like Awkward

He's kind of like An autistic Alan Patrick He just He just doesn't seem comfortable. Especially he's hosting that TV show he has. He doesn't seem like he wants to be there at all. He just thinks like someone that's

put with gunpoint. Yeah, and it's just, he's just like this nervous energy like, right, well, we'll move on now and there you go, so. That's it now, you know? It's like something, you just picked a lad from a pub that hosts an Irish show. Yeah, just some lad

like this has no talent, like no experience or anything. But at least he's all, he feels sorry for him. I feel like, like, when you watch him on TV, it's like watching like a little kid. Just do a little magic trick and he fucks up he's up. He tried like, he's not much, yeah. Totally is just like

smug and like he's constantly going about like, God, we love books. Oh, we're a nation of book readers here. Yeah, yeah. We're a nation of poets and writers and readers and read my book. Yeah, the only fucking audience he can write for children, though, troglodyte. Oh, he

wrote a few, he actually wrote a few shit books. He wrote like, one with JFK, which literally starts. Yeah, but that's like a children's book? No, it's not. It is. It's got like, well, no, he's got the one when JFK came to trial. Yeah, that's the one I read. That's not June's book. It's got like colourful drawings. No, that's a different book. It must be.

All right, Brian. Are we going to get a fight order? Okay. Yes, Ryan read the big boy book. I got to glass. He didn't have no pictures. Ooh. Sorry, I thought. This is what totally brings out with me. I just get so angry. Well, I did the other one about

when the Irish came to England or something like that. Or the Irish invasion or something. like that it's so just like great aren't we sure bono came in england they showed them what music really was and it's like oh and they're talking to comedians like you know the irish such a unique brand of humour it's just so much like wank nobody like jesus you know you're an iris when your mammy comes in with the bacon yeah so much of it's just like jeez you know what you were we wear shoes would you have another country we're just mad aren't we fucking love our so

the irish people love music yeah unlike every other we love music and literature yeah the world loves all that stuff too you know we never roll-playing 40-arish came around yeah to everybody's this shit he just loves himself so much and he just

not even a real I don't even think him as a real person like I feel if you killed him you wouldn't even get in trouble you want to test that theory any of our listeners want to give that a go it's just we're not promoting that

yeah I am there's a little Mark David Chapman somewhere going like he gets out His first thing he gets out He was like, gotta go to Ireland Just some Japanese kid Oh, Ryan Doppity

We'll die And there I go again I can't help myself You have a good Asian Yeah, that's There's a whole continent I hadn't offended Yeah, we took four episodes for that

That was your first words to me When we met I was like, are you jail? Yes, sir, gentlemen how do you do you always do voices I was very lonely as a kid growing up

so I would just entertain myself by like doing voices and creating characters and stuff like that imagination you know good for a soul it is yeah I was kind of saying

I used lonely a lot as a kid but what I used to do is like just like make elaborate storylines with ties yeah I used to do that as well like my own little soap operas

yeah but like have it really be like you know a spider man sick and he's not going to get better or that kind of like you know fucking you know

Batman's leukemia that kind of stuff and and then have a little fake funeral. The Green Lantern is transgender. Yeah, all these, like, real, like, yeah. It was like, you know, what was the show with Drake was on? Oh, Time of Our...

No, it's that the Canadian soap opera. Yeah, what is it? Something our children or something? Oh, you know, but it's just that kind of typical soap opera. It's like EastEnders and, like, with the toys, you know? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, Batman never called him a slag or anything like. You're straight.

Did you ever see that Chris's episode at EastEnders? They hear it every year. I don't England, they love it so much, like, Jesus, like, these dinner's so grim, isn't it? Oh, it's brilliant. But he, like, he started her divorce papers, and he stuck her head in, like, some potato or something. Yeah, that's right.

Happy Christmas, darling. That's Leslie Graham, who's a dirty den. Dirty Dan, was it? Dirty Den. I've heard that, man. He got done for, like, chatting up young ones on the internet, and there was videos of him, like, putting his finger in his mouth, like, oh, oh, oh, really?

Yeah, it was pretty gross. And he had, like, no, he was naked and stuff. He's like in his 60s. I'm lucky no videos of me who come out with naked because I used to, I think I told you this, I used to get naked on like camsites

and dance around for old people. Are you serious? Yeah, I told you. You never told me that. I did. And it was like, it was called,

uh, I think it was called Cam Four. And like, I used to like, uh, like, do a little dance. Like,

I did show my head and everything like and I was about, I don't know, 14 or 15, I think. Why? Get lonely. Yeah,

when you were doing your racist voices. I was dancing naked. For all. old people on the internet. I was doing Asian voices wild dancing. Do a naked minstrel show.

Yeah, you see that. And then like, I used sometimes like you jerk off one and one with people. And it was weird because like, I also want to jerk off over celebrities.

It's like, it means the old fucking lad from England, be jerking off and like, you know, oh, yeah, yeah. Aniston's hot, isn't she? Aniston, like, yeah, yeah, she's pretty hot, yeah.

You can also your nipples sometimes, you know, they poke out in forensics, like, yeah, yeah, they are. yeah yeah and like those like made kind of political like yeah she's hot she's hot fucking bet she never fuck the Muslim

and you're like what it's like too many of them in this country they're taking over and you're like oh Jesus Christ Did that get you off? No no but like there's a lot of that in the pervert community

in the paedophile community a lot of racism wait so yeah you were a teenage boy and this is a grown man oh yeah 40s or so Yeah, so you were, like, assaulted online kind of? No, it was my own... No, I was more just, like, experimenting.

Okay. Yeah, I know another, actually, another time, this is so weird. Like, I was jerking off some, I was wearing my school uniform at the time. Okay. So I had, like, I was, like, winning the poo. What? I was, like, winning the poo, like, was I had my shirt and on Elsie. Oh, right, right.

I started wearing my school, and there's a guy, like, watching me, he's going, like, oh, jeez, it's a total community school. I know that school. And I was like, oh, do you? He was like, yeah, I know another lad. I jerk off another lad. time said the name like i want to say here oh yeah i don't think he's still not in the out of the closet oh wow yeah or i don't know out of the closet oh he might have been straight and doing it as well

like but anyway he was like oh yeah i know another lad's like i want jogger do geography with him which he's the small world isn't it jerry got met a friend of yours last night on the internet billy or whatever he was called he wasn't billy we'll call him billy yeah billy'd save his name yeah billy then the stegasaurus and the old man watching him yeah how do we get into that I have no idea, Brian, but I'm very intrigued, so... I don't know why you... Actually, you know, I got to a stage now, it's true now. It got to a state, I was so addicted to getting naked in front of older lads

that I actually, like, changed the password on my Skype. Like, it's a real long row of numbers and theirs. We're rolling a bit of paper and burnt it, so I can't enter it, I can't access my Skype now. I probably could have tried, but... Why didn't you write it down and burn it? I mean, you could have just skipped that step. I think you have to, like, re-enter the password or something like. Oh, I see.

Or maybe I just did it. I know, just bit of me going, like, oh, hang on the password. fuck it just in case the urge comes back. This is interesting, yeah. And like, you know, so why would you want to wank in front of men? I don't know, but... Because I've only ever known you to get with women, so... I don't know, but I actually proper remember, like, sometimes my parents would go off for, like, two days, okay?

I would literally spend, like, nine to eight o'clock at night, like, just naked, like... Whanking in front of old men? Yeah. And, like, take breaks to get, like, cereal a day. I wouldn't eat in front of them. No. Like, that's where crossed the line, you know? Yeah, that's...

Yeah, that's a bit too much now. You're sick. I don't know why. Actually, I think in back of it. I don't know. I honestly don't know why. And something I never taught about, really. I never talked about. Yeah. Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. We can't end the podcast on that. What are you going to ask me now? Your favourite TV show?

We're going to talk about TV after this. Well, how else? You can't. It's funny if you ended up like, I don't know why in the long posting. I'm racking my brain now I don't know why I did that It's interesting I think it's about loneliness You can talk to friends

I think it started from like chat roulette Yeah I remember chat roulette Most people just kind of stopped there But I was like I want to keep going down to this rabbit Okay so chat roulette was kind of a gateway Yeah I remember chat roulette

And it was always just men wanking Like the odd time you get a woman But very very rarely Yeah And like if you get a woman It's more like this kind of laugh at you for a second I never take my dick out like I never like I'd never like just take my ticket like unannounced like yeah yeah like

you have to think he talks to in chat roulette and they're like you know at the only time I ever went on chat roulette was when I was at gaff parties with friends and then like just one person would be on it and then when you get in a chat with someone just a lot of lads jump out of which is kind of mean it's weird the dynamics of like if you're with one lad and you're both straight hetero guys okay and you're watching like a guy jerk off and chat roulette yeah it's a bit like well it's like a bunch of lads then it's like a Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. Who are you?

But again, you know, there, that's probably, that was probably a way of me sort of exploring any, like, um, on earth homosexual tendencies that I had or had repressed, but in the comfort of the group dynamic words, oh, lads and we're all going, uh, but yeah. And it's safer, like, yeah, it's safer, yeah. I've never, uh, I never got with a guy, though, I've never, I've never kissed a few men, but I've never, I've never kissed a man, I never sucked dick or anything like that. No, I never sucked dick, like, any time I was off my face on yokes or, like, or Matt on Coke or whatever

just like shift some lad like usually friends of mine like you know I couldn't do that I'm too straight for me I look I'm not queer you and Billy

batching off your geography too as you like discussed like yeah oxbow setis what igneous sedimentary metamorphic

um stalag mites stalact tights go down the mites go big dicks I couldn't I've been on yokes and people have men have tried to shift me

and I was like kind of like I thought a few of a bit bad at the I was probably going Oh yeah yeah I got to go And I just kind of like I gotta go wank off On the internet

Yeah Where's that Skype password Yeah Actually last time I tried to kiss me At house party I just remember that same night Well it's not really related to it

That same night Yeah I went to the bathroom To take it big shit Yes Coming up shit is what the kids Oh yeah Yeah

And there's no toilet paper I've wiped myself with a sock and threw out the window Oh god, that's great And then someone tried to kiss me And I was like, this is too much This is on hygienic Yeah

Oh, we really, we really I think it broke through here Yeah, we are through The looking glass I will say Because if you don't know I actually do write down questions Before the hand

How did we get here? So James, what's your favorite TV show? Sopranos Yes, it is the Sopranos It's me as well Sipranos Great show Tony wouldn't approve of anything

No, I don't think Tony. We're a bunch of vetoes. He'd call us what is it, a funook, is that what they say? Yeah. Is that the that's like the Italian word? We can understand what it is. Funnoi? I don't know, yeah. Yeah, well, anyway, we're just a bunch of fanukes.

Yeah, a couple of funoques over here. That's the end of the show. I say, I feel like you know us more than you probably want it to. Yeah, yeah. Now we're best friends. I know Brian more just after this episode. Now we're best friends. Small world, isn't it? It is.

Same geography. Jesus, that's not. All right. This has been Brian O'Too. Brian O'Ton says too much. This would be Brian O'Too says too much and this will hurt his career in the long. Oh, this will make your career. This is Brian and James.

Fuck each other. I've been Brian. I've been James. Thank you. Good night.