Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 46 : Fahrenheit 11/9

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

We talk about racism, sexy teachers and James does some audio therapy.

episode yeah episode two episode well all together is episode 46 ah yeah but I mean the second one we're recording today don't confuse the listener sorry yeah they're not good with numbers well our listeners I think are very good with numbers

like if you drop some rice on the floor it'll count down the sound of the falling rice drives them mad then they go look at a train to calm down we have the best listeners by the way yeah we do we love you guys we know what we might not have a lot

but we've got good ones. That's true. We got ones that will message us and say, we liked the episode. Yeah, it's always really nice when they do that. A lot of times when they message us

and say, we like the episode and like, hmm, you probably haven't heard the right episode. Give it die. Yeah, if you listen to another episode, you won't like it. So I think first thing we should talk about

is the death of al-Baghdadi. Oh. Yeah, have you heard about this? He was the big ISIS leader. ISIS leader. They killed him. They killed him, yeah. Trump got him.

And then Trump was like he died like a dog. And people are... Like a coward. Oh, was that what he said? A dog, like a coward Like a little queer He's so funny if Trump was just like You die like a little

He's a little queer Yeah, a little hooah He died like a waitress, he got pregnant What? You had a You pushed her out of a helicopter While you're giving her a tour of Trump Tower What?

Yeah So they killed him They got him. Now, a lot of the information I have about this is from a Stephen Colbert monologue. Oh, okay. I have not done much research. No. Now, I used to think I hated Stephen Colbert. Like, I loved the Colbert report. Yeah, when he was doing the character. His show, I used to think I hated.

Yeah. But I realized I just hate the audience. Okay. The audience are terrible. They laugh and cheer at everything. Yeah, yeah. Like, even just something like, and also he has that John Baptiste guy, you know, John Baptiste? No. He's like his musical...

What do you call that? The musical guy? Yeah. Like how Jimmy Fallon has the roots. Yeah, yeah. And Letterman had Paul... Yeah, yeah. Paul Schreider, I think. Shrader? No, Paul Schrader is, is he... Were they both? Because Paul Schrader is the screenwriter and Philomera. That would be so cool of the same guy. He rips off the mask. Taxi driver. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So, like, even like, this guy, he's kind of caught, like, he's just awful cop. timing like he's very good musician but he shouldn't be colbert shouldn't talk from that much okay so when colbert is doing a monologue every time and again you just hear him going

like yeah yeah that crazy like that even in the monologue about the al-back daddy killing colbert's going like um you know he killed al-back daddy much like uh president obama killed sam belad and the audience like woo yeah yeah yeah and in the background just hear a fucking jump baptiste going yeah Obama Barack Obama 44. It's for no reason at all. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, God. So, like, basically what happened is the soldiers came in and killed, killed him. Shot him, was it? No, it actually didn't. They tried to shoot him. Oh.

But then Al-Baghdadi in a suicide vest and he went to do a corner and blew up two children. Oh, wow. Going out like a hero. That diminishes the victory somewhat, doesn't it? Yeah.

That part I hadn't heard They don't seem to be focusing on it too much Yeah, it's more like we got him How do you get him? I doesn't matter Don't worry about it Did you get anyone else? Nah They're pushing now is the dog

What dog? So does a dog involve You're not heard about this? Nah, to be honest, I really is It's just heard that killed him I didn't read up on about it So there's a dog involved in the shoot In the assassination

Okay Yeah Even feeding information To the US military He was a snitch but like so Trump has been tweeting about picture of the dog like this brave boy helped you know helped

kill the awful Muslim okay yeah his words he didn't have to say that voice that's what kind of why he's the sentiment yeah this brave dog and he was saying he was kind of joking that like you know we can't

the name of the dog is classified right now he's going to get a medal of honor turns out the dog's name is Conan Conan named after Conan O'Brien oh my God wow yeah so like why um because the like no darn me like calling the brand

the monorail episode i don't know that's a good episode yeah hey you know so now trump has tweeted um a picture of him giving the dog a medal of honor yeah now it's photoshopped he's not pretend it's not photoshopped but what's funny is like that's actually picture of him giving a medal of honor to a soldier who like um you know save 10 people right in war and now he just broke him out and put a dog Yeah So now

Like yeah Apparently Cone and the Dog Is gonna come to the White House He's gonna be Secretary of State Yeah

And I always think It'd be funny If like So like Cone and the dog Everyone loves dogs Okay Yeah

So to push the war effort You do a Disney movie About Cone and the dog Oh But he works In the White House No It's a dog eat dog world

Yeah he works in the white house and he gets called back to the war oh okay you see him doing shit in the war you know like that like raping uh Israeli women or not Israeli women sorry you never did that yeah yeah okay it's Arab women oh good thank God

Disney would never allow well that's why I said Israeli because Disney was the uh well he was anti-Semitic oh he was yeah that's what I meant but yeah well Disney's whole thing is you wanted to create um like uh kind of like segregated towns

of good like Aryan white people now that's a movie I'd watch well all he was talking about is the dog okay alright sorry yeah the dog so he did a Disney movie okay oh yeah but you'd have to do it

so it's the modern age now so you have to have like an Iraqi friend oh yeah yeah yeah who's like a bit like shaggy from Scooby do yeah yeah okay or you get Shaggy to play Shaggy the rapper

Shaggy the Iraqi Shaggy the Iraq I don't think they're gonna go for that is the character name. Shagher. Well, it's the first draft. Yeah. You win a minute I rack in O'3.

It wasn't me. But you're bed-handed. Planting bombs in the Twin Towers. I was actually trying to... It wasn't me. Sorry, gone. It's a dog today. It's fun, you know?

Shaggy the dog. Did you plant bombs and Twin Towers? Tell her, give me a scooby snack and I'll tell you. Yeah, that will be fun. And the Harlem Globetrotters are in it. They have to solve the mystery of who brought down the Twenthalers. And then they invade a rack together.

And it's like, ISIS versus the Harlem Globetrotts. Do, do, do, do, do. I'm just like spinning a ball on their finger. And the ISIS are like, oh, we cannot defeat Harlem Globetrotters. Okay. What else has been happening? I watched Fahrenheit 119. Oh, the Michael Moore movie.

Yeah, yeah. It's on Netflix. Yeah, how was it? Well, if you watched Fahrenheit 9-11, I saw when I was really young I didn't like appreciate it enough because it's a very almost like

bureaucratic film like it goes into like a lot of the fucking shit behind the Iraq war and stuff like it's not really like I remember watching as a kid and think it was a real downer

yeah it's kind of boring as well when you're a kid like yeah I don't know why I was watching it anyway because I really loved bowling for Columbine even though that turned out to be like very you know play it very fast and loose

with the truth I think yeah Yeah, yeah, he's sort of been known for that for really, like, manipulating the truth to suit the narrative. You see, I'm smart enough to point out the bits that are fake. Yeah, well, I suppose Columbine, Bolivor Columbine came out in 2003. People in general weren't as media savvy as they are now, because nowadays we're bombarded by, like, constant information from the media. So people, well, not everyone, but some people are best. at sort of gauging the bullshit yeah not everyone yeah also like it was like kind of a novelty

back down like it's a movie in the cinemas but politics yeah whoa i've never even heard of politics what's what is this you know Columbine what's that you know and you've watched him like oh I'm learning so much but now like you watch a Michael Moore documentary like this and you go online just like 90 different videos of like really weird alt-right guys who are like this is wrong debunking the facts yeah yeah so like how convenient Michael Moore's the whole documentary and he never mentions the reptiles the reptilian

overlords oh I love it he never mentions them at all how convenient but this is interesting because like it has a picture of Trump on it and it's Fahrenheit 119 which is when Trump inaugurated

so I thought it would just be like a kind of standard like Trump's bad he actually goes a different way oh where he doesn't say Trump's good he's very anti-Trumping it But he also goes against the DNC for rigging it. So Hillary got the tickets to Bernie.

Yeah, yeah. And he also goes against Obama a bit as well for like creating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it starts off, it's like Obama's inauguration. Yeah. No, sorry, it's Trump's. Like, they look the same to me. So it's Trump's.

How progressive of it. Yeah, yeah. It's Trump's inauguration. He talks about how like, the only reason, I never heard a phrase like this. Sure. He was working for NBC. for The Apprentice Trump was

Yeah Yeah And apparently He found out Gwen Stefani was getting paid more money Than he was Yeah yeah

Okay So he kicked up a big fuss about then He said he was gonna run for president Yeah Now all people say It was just a publicity stunt

Yeah And He was gonna go back to NBC Like look how popular I am Give me more money I want more money than Gwen Stefani So in a way Kind of like say

That Gwen Stefani is to blame For Trump being president When a young Mexican child to separate from her mother it's Gwen Stefani's fun

and you that shit is bananas B A N A N A N A N A yes You ain't go talk like that Yeah

Okay So Gwen Stefani is to blame All right What happened was So he started off His fake Presential This is according

Michael Moore Yeah okay His fake campaign And sure Immediately he's He's talking about Mexicans You know

Like some of them They're bringing drugs They're rapists Yeah And some of them I assume aren't rapists, you know, like, you know? Very nice of him to say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then... We'll have somebody look into that, I'm not sure, but... Then NBC were like, okay, you're fired. Okay. So now Trump's like, oh God, I've already booked a few fucking campaign rallies. Might as well go. Yeah. I'm sure he goes and it's like, whoa, like everyone's mad into him.

Yeah. Hey, maybe this might be a nice, though, like, uh, little owner just whole become presidenting. Yeah, yeah. It might be a little bit of a nice grift. So you kind of think, like, it sort of started as a goof and he didn't expect. That's what Michael Moore says. Okay. I kind of agreed a little bit, like...

Well, I mean, it is farcical. The whole thing is absurd. I think when he announced his presidency and when we're getting into like the run up to it, everyone was sort of in the back of their mind. There's no way he can win. Surely he can't win. But lo and behold, he fucking won.

So the first few minutes you're like, okay, anti-Trump stuff. Yeah. And a bit he was like, well, I already know Trump's bad. Low-hanging fruit. You're not really like... Yeah, yeah. You're not shocking me here to the core.

I'm like, what, Trump is what? He's racist. Mom, get in here. You'll never believe it. The President of America's Donald Trump. Like, yeah, it's been like three years. Has anyone tried to do anything about it? Yes, they have it.

Yeah, yeah. Stephen Colbert's on it. Yeah, he's been working tiresly. Yeah. But then to do a zigzag, where he talks about Hillary's campaign. Yeah. And he's talking about how she didn't. turn up to a lot of states right

well as you just sent representatives there yeah yeah and she was being kind of like little cage and like what she's actually going to do where like Bernie was saying healthcare for all yeah like hey Pokemon go to the polls yeah stuff where she had like some rappers on yeah yeah and like

even Michael Moore saying she definitely doesn't know name these rappers like it's her and chance the rapper in Jay Z and you can tell she's like security and they're like no no other rappers they're with you they're what yeah

she just saw it written down they're rappers okay they're with you they're with you it's like there are two peas in that word this is Clinton don't worry

you're saying yeah Kendrick Kamar's on your side she's like oh okay security so she's kind of fucked up the campaign a lot yeah

a little bad moment she didn't handle well like when she was taking money from Wall Street yeah and like she gave like a big speech to Goldman Sachs

and they refuse to like release the transcript and everyone's like what are you got to hide they're saying like you're not handing this way you're not answering these questions yeah yeah you're kind of like

treating it like oh these people are getting the way of me becoming president yeah like these are legitimate questions yeah and then he was saying how Bernie was getting bigger and bigger and then for the DNC they rigged it

which is true so that Hillary would be the candidate yeah which is true that's legitimately true yeah okay but I never seen like I just assumed like The Bernie thing was like Like they were like

Oh fuck well I guess we were going to support I just seemed like all the Bernie fans just jumped immediately to Hillary Yeah But it wasn't like they were proper pissed off A lot of them didn't vote or it went like Okay They were like so she turned off that whole group down That whole section right okay

Yeah yeah yeah And then he's talking about like for a lot of these places Trump was going to Republican areas Saying like the Iraq war was bad Right And they were saying yes they were cheering him on yeah yeah

and he was saying things now obviously it's bullshit well a lot of things you're saying were like you know we're gonna bring back we're gonna make

fucking Detroit yeah live live able again it's not it's not gonna be a desolate anymore no more rap battles

it's time for nine miles the future is now yeah these people are so desperate like he shows aries don't see at all in the media too much

these areas were like, it's just like, yeah, it's like there's nothing here. Yeah, they've been forgotten about. There's square miles of nothing. Yeah. Like Flint. Flint, Michigan. The water is poison. It's legitimately poisoned. Yeah. By a guy called his name's something Snyder. He's the mayor. Okay.

It's not Zach Snyder, but I keep taking it is. I mean, funny if it was, and it's like, you know, I did Batman versus Superman. And it's poisoned thousands of children. And people are like, I hated Batman versus Superman. I don't know what's I'm glad my I'm glad my daughter died of lead poisoning so you couldn't see the Justice

League movie I can buy a bottle of water but that is unforgivable yeah yeah so he goes into that like this whole city was poisoned and and all the meeting Snyder's like hey you weren't poisoned

he's basically like they're going like the water's orange he's like hey it's okay we're working on it just keep drinking that orange water who loves orange water, Snyder loves orange water, sir, this references out of day, that defense, I said, no, don't worry, they'll like it, they'll like it.

These people will like it. Trust me, I'm a Snyder. What is a bit funny, is like, there's one bit, I know it's not actually, like, I know, like, he's not him filming it, but they have a clip of, like, a little, two little children playing with the water, you know, like, they're, like, drinking bottles

of water. And their skins peeling up. there is a bit you're going like why is Michael Moore filming this like yeah don't let him drink it but it's probably like some stock footage from somewhere else like yeah but you're like geez this is awful no candidate went to their

journey election right not Trump or Hillary went to Flint because they're like eh to a can of worms even when Trump when Obama was in office okay and this is I taught this is fake because there's no way it's real so he went to Flint

and they have footage people going like oh my God God, Obama's coming to Flint, he's going to fix everything. And mothers are crying, going like, for too long, I'm waiting for Mr. Obama to come. This is my fifth daughter. We're really hoping this one makes it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They keep dying lead poisoning.

They keep telling us that, like, that was a cold. You know, they actually got them to change the stats. Really? Yeah, there's a woman who worked in, like, the health unit. She was going, like, so let's say, like, overtreat. is dangerous and the kids are coming up at a reading of nine and the people there

just say three they were like they were going like just say tree and she was like what about but they're like look it'd be better for them

if you don't tell them no poison trust me because that affects their brains you know yeah yeah so it's like look parents just think

their kids are dumb we'll blame Snapchat just say like it's suckerberg's fault Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All this angry birds is making your kids dumb and die. Making their teeth fall out

and their heads get big. Like that episode, you know, the episode of Simpsons? Oh, we're... Kent Griffith Jr. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, Obama comes, they're like, oh, Obama's going to save the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Obama comes to town hall meeting. Well, first of all, Snyder gets up first. He's like, I wanted to introduce you all and they're like, boo! And he's like, please don't boo. Like, just because your kids are dead doesn't mean you should be uncivil. okay so Obama comes all right and he's talking about like you know water is the most

important thing in the world and children should clean water and they're like woo of course it's like yeah it's not really easy pickings okay yeah he's like I'm not true to can someone get me a glass of water this is true okay and like everyone in the audience like oh my god what and he gets a glass of water and he goes no I'm not big into publicity stunt but let me a little drink of water and just drinks it like that and they're saying like if you watch the footage he like lifts it up he's like he's not he drink it like oh wow yeah yeah yeah that seems like healthy water to me oh no really yeah yeah where you're saying like we know it's bad but it's not as bad you think and they're working on it right now he was a real kind of downplay situation Jesus and then he went to a meeting afterwards yeah after press conference and he was like hmm you know my throat's still dry I need a glass of water and then he got those pictures with him drinking the war once again at the meeting

but he's looking around going like as present I know there's no lead in that and he also said look well I was a kid I'm sure you know I'll be walking around playing on my own maybe a bit of lead got my mouth

it didn't do me no harm that's legit me what he said where I was like had Michael Lord dubbed this or done like a deep fake but that was real yeah Wow. So if you think, like, the people of Flint,

like, we had a Democrat in for 12 years. Yeah. And that's all we got. The only visit we got is him going like, goop, gook. Oh, like him, like, doing a real fake, like, hmm, look at this glass of war. Gulp, gulp. They're like, the war is not even, like, at your mouth.

He's like, oh. That's some high quality H-2-0. Didn't you people ever see you, the waterpoint? Adam said, great movie. Come on. Drink it. Drink it. he just waterboard someone

now I assure you this water it's perfectly fine so you can see like Flint are like look maybe we'll fucking vote for Trump okay yeah yeah so it's kind of like it's an interesting portrayal he's not going like they're all the people vote from all

racist evil bad men they're just people who are tired of they're desperate they don't have the privilege of like yeah let's vote in the first female president even though she's not going to help me at all let's support women Yeah, exactly I'm supporting this woman

Even though This is about my sixth daughter now Yeah The rest of them keep There's just a lot of like Wealth inequality And austerity And there's just like

People who don't have the means To support themselves or their family And they're just tired and fed up But these all these people Like they live in like a shack And they work three jobs Yeah And they're like

It's horrible Yeah Like a lot of the stuff You're like Wow this is like This is real kind of like Eye Opening Yeah

where you go like this is insane and it gets even crazy okay so I think it's in Flint as well what they did this is a journal

Obama's presidency okay they start doing army training exercises in the abandoned in the abandoned parts of city yeah this is like

the FEMA camps and stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah they said this is practice the army said this is practice for urban warfare

yeah and you know what urban means oh yeah yeah it's a mean like it's very yeah Trin Martinish

yeah Yeah, yeah. See, that is terrifying. General, General Zimmerman. General Zimmerman. He went from, like, neighborhood watch to generals. We like your work. You've got what it takes.

Well, I've never even been in the Army. We don't care. Neighborhood watch is just as good. Yeah. No, I heard about those, like, military camps that were set up and, like, do run in, like, drills. Like, imagine living next to that and be like, what are you guys prepared for it? Don't worry about it. Yeah.

Why do you... For your pictures for Targa practice, it's a picture of me. This is a picture of me and my kids from a vacation to Cancun. This is worrying. But yeah, they're saying, like, it's just in the middle night. You're a bababababab. And it's like, don't worry, it's just the army practicing to kill black people. Oh, we're going to kill these motherfuckers.

What did you say? Nothing. Go back to sleep. Yeah. And you can see as well, like, if someone's like, want to take away your guns, it's like, really well that's the big you know like the right you're getting like it does the fear is you veer off into right wing territory this michael moore it's like he's fairly leftist yeah but uh yeah like they're saying they're gonna take our guns and as soon as they do that

then all they're just going to turn it into a police state well so he does all this stuff about flint michigan you're almost like hey the poor trump supporters in the what they're doing okay yeah yeah but then the next bit of it is all about trump comparing trump to hitler oh okay right okay where like people have made this comparison many times I've never heard this before

really no I'm joking but he like really just like he just dubs Hitler speech and sorry I'm sure can't come apart

he dubs Trump speech or footage of Hitler that's good yeah yeah and then he has this guy who worked

in a Nuremberg trial oh the Nuremberg rallies yeah he was like a lawyer or something like that yeah and he was like

he was kind of describing like similarities between Trump and Hitler Hitler and that's their first you're like liberal prop again

and after a while kind of like yeah well they did start off kind of gaining power by pushing very

very crazy views certain people like you know so Michael Moore's big thing he pushes a lot of times Trump will like in a joking sense

to say like maybe you should run for more than 12 years he made me three terms and he said this a few times now he's saying that's Trump putting the ID in people's heads

just to test the wars a little bit There's no way that that could ever happen, though. You think that, but... But, like, that would require, like, changing legislation. Just start a war. Oh. We're big enough war.

I think FDR was in there for longer than 12. Oh, is that right? General War, too, is like, I look, we don't have time for our election right now. We've got to kill these... Yeah. So, if he starts a big enough war, like... Who would he have to go against? What are you thinking?

Russia? What do you fuck with Russia? No, not Russia. No, no. That's too much now. It has to be a small little, like... I tell you, I really don't like these Irish dogs. Yeah.

Oh, no! But Jesus, sure we just love the crack. Yeah. And then we all just get murdered. Take away their potatoes that worked the last time. No potatoes for anybody. No cheese and onion, no salt and vinegar. They're all gone.

No, it has to be, like, you have to be something that you could easily dehumanize. Like, they're like a country that don't speak English. There's like Iran or something like that. going to war with Iran Iran yeah that I buy I could see them going with Iran That aren't actually like North Korea is too much For a legit threat

Yeah To Iran go to war with Iran Well that's what Trump is saying I'm not sorry Michael Moore is saying But like I He compares a lot to Hitler But Hitler was smart That's the same

Yeah that's true Trump I feel's more likely The people around him I don't think Hitler would have tweeted You know I think he would have had enough sense Not to tweet Well

It's owned by who Oh I'm not using it i'll tell you that no he wouldn't use facebook he would have been a my space guy tom now there's a there's a guy i can get behind

look at tom there zuckerberg he's not jewish uh yeah hitler wasn't like that no no what else to talk about a documentary sounds like an interesting documentary there is though a little bit like

another bit they kind of like do a lot it's like the facts alone are enough you don't play sinister music over him Okay Like there's one bit in it We're like He has a slow motion footage of Trump

Walking out of a building and something Okay It's like It's like Brubber Yeah Like John Carpenter

Yeah And this is Michael Moore saying One time a reporter Asked Mr Trump What do you think About the media

Storm that's surrounding you And Trump said Surrounding me I am The storm I am am the storm that's how he says it

wow yeah yeah well that's how Michael Moore says that's how Michael Trump yeah Michael Trump yeah the same guy basically yeah yeah Michael Moore says that in such a serious way but you know in real life they asked him he didn't say it like that

hey I am the storm baby you want to fuck my daughter do you guys love to go into that oh the daughter fucking yeah where they play again it's all this footage of him like talking about his daughter and they play blah my daughter's got great tits and try and make that somehow sound weird yeah like this is one shot though we're

like he's like he's like there and like she's about 12 or so sitting on his lap which looks bit sad and they keep zooming into her eyes oh god it's like almost like a bit too like it's all i feel like you got had a lot fun making that bit like yeah yeah i get you There's a lot of clips, though, of them going, like, you know, if she wasn't my daughter, I'd touch her tits. Isn't that right, honey? Yes, Daddy. But you do touch my shit.

One of these days. My daughter's crazy, isn't she? We're a big mouth. We're a big mouth. I can put my whole fist in it. And have. You've got on the view that she's doing it, like, do it. Show him.

It fits. Look at that. It fits perfectly. What a whore. Oh, yeah. And we'll be Goldberg's there, go like. And we'll be back after a break with more from Trump. Back in the habit.

See, the big argument that a lot of, I'm not racist, but people use, is, you know, I think immigrants should be helped. But why don't we help our own first before we bring people in? Yeah, yeah. Which is, you know, a legitimate argument to an extent, but then it gets a little too close to, like, being, you know, racist or whatever. I think we should help all the people, Brian. We should help ourselves and help them to. though because all these areas in Ireland that no one goes anymore

where it's awful old people that don't have the balls to kill themselves okay it really is like so it's this old farmers and like why are they not going like you don't want some like some Saudi or like some Syrian one

and just walk around with little holes on them like spice up your life yeah like I think because there's definitely a farmer in Mayo somewhere it's like oh I don't want these fucking immigrants coming over here but like what have we got you

a nice little Syrian boy you know 19 young fit strapping young man yeah yeah and well if he lived next door and maybe like you got chatting him you became friends

like let's keep keep talking tell me more tell me more yeah so I think that's he's got like appeal to him I don't understand

why they want to keep their culture where it's kind of shit yeah you know what's worth preserving really and the big argument for immigration is like oh yeah you're for it

where other places, but you wouldn't want a bunch of immigrants moving in beside you. I live next door to some immigrants. I live with immigrants. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, you're better than me. Yeah. This ain't top trumps, baby. I'll get some immigrants right now. I'll buy an immigrant

live on this podcast. We'll both do it. Yeah. And that helps? Yeah, I don't know. I just, that's all I'm thinking about now. You know, when you think about Chinese food and all you want is Chinese food, all I want is to molest and immigrant on this podcast. We never thought I thought of it's implied.

It's consensual. Oh, isn't it? Oh, I'm not. I'm a... Sorry. That's it. Burned down the centre. They burnt down some centres.

Ross Coleman did that. They burnt down the centre. It's all those fucking Roscommon. Those people are mongolids. They are. Inbreds. You're scum. If you're from Roscommon, you're scum.

I'll say it. Can we just like... I want to replace Rosscommon people with immigrants. Can we do that? Can we swap them over? It would be better. The old switcheroo. what do you say i know i want to do is like i want to get the worst immigrants

i want to get like let's say the screening program okay yeah and like you go through a metal detector and says good or bad so like all like the syrian refugees used to be doctors and stuff like that they can go to dublin yeah and like all the ones who are like you know um like roman polanski yeah he's technically seeking asylum that's true i guess yeah gary glitter yeah yeah yeah so they can all go to like fucking rosscom and mayo like yeah yeah all like the actual active isis members they can go to like rosscom in and yeah it's like like like like like like like you know they'd feel it'd be a bit disheartening for the might feel like i was gonna suicide bomb this place but i don't think we could make it any shitter so yeah like he kind of walked around the main

village he's like oh god who who was here was bagdaddy here was he jesus he did had a failed number on the place why are you talking like that i just you know trying to blend in yeah yeah yeah he's been there like two minutes oh jesus nobody who you're getting on this is going way too far dear god i want us to be like that thing like no way people discover a band that was big like 20 years ago when the members kill themselves i'd be like that or it's like 20 years from i'd be like whoa these guys were ahead of their time oh you could see the pain in their words these guys are racist before it was cool oh god who i say like because the show's pretty filthy and raw like i mean oh right

we could get way more raw if they want us but like we get like some kind of like sex toy thing to sponsor yeah like a dildo or a flashlight you know well i might message like some of the sex shops they were like we told you brain stuff I speak to sex shops I was looking at this porn video recently This Irish teacher She got caught Having sex with a student

I heard about that Yeah But she's a porn video of her on porn hub No way It was like the number one thing What Yeah yeah And her vagina looks 100% like a flesh

Like Oh really? Like fake yeah Is she hot? Yeah yeah Yeah really hot But her vagina Like if I drew a vagina

She's that's That's it Her vagina Yeah yeah It actually looked like that's what i go to school for uh yeah uh yeah that's what is she when she was banging the lad the lad was 16 she was what like 23 something like that uh i'm not saying it's right i'm just saying you know i'd say that kid is the biggest legend ever man you know

what i yeah yeah like yeah he was statutory raped and that's awful blah blah blah blah but come on what a pimp yeah what a and you see that vagina like it looked like you know way you can mold porn stars like get molds of their vagina yeah yeah yeah look like someone had done that of hers and that was like your original design these animatronics are amazing it looked like god was like oh how I want to design up this fucking uh perfect vagina yeah but like he didn't know vagina he was like I want to create like a box in a woman that makes babies okay yeah and what should look like should look like a like a like a like a pentagon or a star he was thinking basic shapes okay like a triangle and then he saw that woman he's like, that's what

pussies look like. That's what a pussy looks like. Yeah, yeah. Okay. It looked amazing. Wow, I didn't know you were a creationist, Brian. From the word of God.

Yeah, and then he created dinosaurs. Who also, he gave perfect vaginas to. So, yeah, so she was on a, wait, so the porn video of this teacher, was this like... On Porn Hub? No, but, like, would she... Oh, she made it to send someone and they got leaked. Is it just her, what, dildo on ourselves? No, no, just her, like, bending over and showing her tips.

Oh, okay. She's sending that to the kid? I think so, yeah. Whoa. Pretty horny. Oh, yeah. Pretty sexy. Yeah, oh, yeah.

Well, like, you know, we remember being a teenager in school. Did you ever have any hot teachers? Um, do you make teachers get together each other? No. Oh, well, there was speculation, but no confirmation. But I was, I went to an all-boys school, right? So there were a couple of hot teachers, so obviously everybody was like, I imagine all boys

school it doesn't matter the teacher could be like yeah I know like a burn victim yeah oh I love yeah

yeah yeah the teacher could just be like a mop with a pair of googly eyes on this was monahen in the early 2000 so yeah

we had like there was one teacher that was like again like just because we were like pre-pubescent boys yeah just horny

It's just a regular women, but we're like, well, ah, I don't think women understand, like, how horny boys are. I'm sure women were just as horny as teenagers. Well, at least they're, like, taught to be ashamed of themselves. By us. Yeah, yeah. But boys, like,

it's like, you should go out there and do it. Yeah, plus, at that time as well, there was a real sort of glorification of kind of hedonistic, you know, yeah, girl, you know, get women, American Pie movies, and loaded magazine. It's almost like we're being

like injected all this stuff like you know and loaded and like porn is just getting more and more accessible as our hormones are going crazy. We're just watching like girl on girl

orgies loose change oh my god all these like crazy videos you know like that those tits brought down the twin towers yeah all these crazy videos

they're all true yeah okay and we're like going this is crazy where girls like were so repressed that I was looking at an album my mother had

like a vinyl album of Donnie Osmond Yeah And I was thinking like That's probably what girls probably taught was attractive Back in day Because they were so repressed

Donnie Osmond Yeah Yeah I could see that But it's just like a regular looking guy With like curly hair And they're probably like That was their porn They didn't know

And they had to read those erotic novels Where it was like you know The man Jumped off a horse And he was bulging And that was it like yeah In our lines Well

Yeah I don't really want to think about my mother's sexuality. I hope she had enough of that growing up, thank you very much. No, I wish they closed the door sometimes. I was brought up in a very strict Catholic sex is bad kind of environment. You know, what are you going to do? Hey, hey, what am I going to do about it, you know? Did you ever get angry?

I'll get angry at that when I look at, like, people who, like, were raised in, like, kind like, very liberal kind of houses, where it's, like, you know, like, my mother was a singer. And my daddy was a dancer. And now I make puppets and they love me. Yeah, and it's always like, but they're like version of struggles. Like, my dad wanted me to be gay, but I was bisexual and had to tell them I was into girls as well. Sometimes. It's us, only sometimes, mostly for a marketing stunt.

And my daddy said, I'm proud of you. And now I've written the whole Edinburgh show about it. It was the hardest moment in my life. Like, there's a bit you're like, fuck. you yeah yeah yeah if you weren't physically and emotionally abused on a daily basis yeah don't talk to me pal because I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear it yeah yeah and even if you were keep it to yourself what do I give a fuck everybody's got problems what I got to listen to you yeah get out of here yeah

god get out of here sorry I'll see as well like you know like the pharmacophobia people who hate farming no no it's pharmophobia it's a this thing for Halloween, okay, where it's like a place you can go and they've done out a farm, it happens to a few places around the country, like they've done a farm to make it look scary. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. So have like people... People chase you

with a chainsaw, but turns out he doesn't actually work there. Yeah, yeah. And, uh, yeah, well, PR disaster waiting to happen. I'll take full responsibility, yeah. Thank God we're in Ross Common. We can get away with it here. It was the emigrants. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Another reason why we have to protect their human rights by kicking him out. But anyway, yeah, so these farms. All these scary things you're like, you know, it's a scarecrow, but he's real. Yeah, or like, you know, it jumps out at you. Yeah, or like it's a, um, I don't know, like a skeleton.

But he's real. You're an interracial couple. Yeah, yeah. That's real. Mom, you want to go home. It looked at me, mom. Just this big cock waving around. It's going to bite me.

it's just a man dressed up as a cock chasing after people in Roscoq but what I'm scared and all that would just be like an Irish childhood and a farm An actual growing up on the farm Just like Woo

I'm going to destroy your self-esteem Oh fuck it out You know I'm growing up right so I grew up on the farm and my dad's family like his parents we lived right next door to us and his uncle lived with the pair like so his brother my uncle lived with his parents yeah he was like I was like a kid like really young and he was like in his 30s I would say and he used to like you know uh no don't worry it's just not not go it's not one of those stories but he'd be like oh you're fucking useless aren't you on the farm you can't fucking do

went in. Sure, they're all saying it about you that you're fucking useless and you're lazy and you're shooping. I was a child. This lad's at his 30s. Well, like,

I don't know how that's better to do. I guess I'll just psychologically abuse my nephew. You know, and there's nothing good on TV. That's like, what a fucking loser man. That's all this land had

going for him. That was like his best part of his day. Yeah. It was like, Hey, hey, come here. I want to tell you something. Oh, what?

He was looking forward to him. He was getting up and more and like, oh, I can't wait now. people have a cup of coffee he just, hey, get over here, you little piece of shit. That was, there's no way we get on stage and we make jokes, we feel good afterwards. That was his version of it. I'm going to this, psychologically

destroy his child. But you know what I mean? And I was just like, ah, that's just my uncle, he's just a prick, he just acts the prick and says stupid shit to me. But it's like, in retrospect, it's like, oh, there's some actual psychological abuse there, wasn't it? Yeah. Isn't it funny as well, like, stuff like that,

I think me and you, it's kind of like, shit, that was a bit mad, wasn't it? Yeah. Well, look, I've got loads of stories like that, Brian, the ten of penny. I'll tell you about, oh, but it's no real, like, oh my God, it's going to be, Jesus, well, you know, that probably affected me, but, you know. No, he's crying over spilt milk. Yeah. Well, I don't know.

I was always sure he'd be the one that kills himself, but hey, I don't know, it's still time. Yeah, hopefully. Yeah. Remember, they do debt pools? Yeah. they do like that for farming where it's like we're everybody's types

everybody wins it's like the lotto when 30 people win the jackpot it's like watching the horse races they're all going to get over the line eventually it's a very good analogy for it Brian

that's life right there that's life God the rate's going to get higher as well oh big time farmers like here cocaine use has gone way up in farmers I've heard that actually

yeah like there's and you know what I'm not surprised because I know one or two farmers young lads but from my area like big on the coke like you know big on it why wouldn't you why wouldn't you man it's a fucking boring everyday thankless job I know any time I worked on the farm from like the age of 15 to whatever I was like stoned the entire time like because they see shit I'm literally scraping up shit but I'm going to get high and make it and then my uncle comes over and says yeah well I'm high so fuck you because of weird bulls to

do farming but you're just like because you know what you have to do so like you just do it I've never done I've never farmed on coke

so I think actually farming and coke you're in farming stone I think like oh Jesus how do I like start the tractor yeah

yeah yeah like you know yourself you get in the tractor you get like a JCB or something you're getting different machines and you got like figure out

oh how is this one work again oh I'm stoned if you're on coke or like I know exactly what I'm doing I gotta do it

I never like being like 10 years old on the tractor or trying to reverse with a trailer on and obviously not been able to do it and my dad being like you fucking idiot I was like

this is really not something every 10 year old knows how to do it was like you bloody spastic get off yeah my dad was Bernard Manning yeah you bull you doth bugger

yeah but no I was like man I'm a fucking child I don't I'm sorry I can't reverse a tractor with a trailer on it which is a really difficult thing to do you know what I mean

sorry I'm just like unleashing my childhood well it's a kid's movie how would it work now you'd show him somehow like yeah it was like a rolled doll story um it's also the role doll the parents always get to come up into the ends

they do so like wow they can argue they have one down one to go that's all I'll say oh that's awful anyway that very dark role doll story but like you know

I know my siblings listen to this I should probably apologize or whatever yeah they don't realize how desensitized I am Oh, you do. You know the real me better than anyone probably. Oh, God. Go on.

Yeah. That's all right, my suicide, but I was like, I knew what he's really like. I just don't care about anything, man. That's the whole thing now, really. It's like trying to care or be invested in anything is a challenge, you know. I'm trying to think of a good, like, so this little story I'm writing now about you, James, the farmer. Oh, okay.

It's like, so your dad and stuff is like the whole village is laughing at you. yeah you know he did say that no no but you see it like yeah it's like not re he's like yeah and he calls my old bell and point to you and laugh okay oh are we doing it now okay i'll be right over whoa okay so they come and laugh right and they're like oh i'll get my revenge someday so then um i go and i moved to dublin and become an unsuccessful comedian and uh yeah yeah die at the age of 33 yeah if i'm in then they all come to your funeral and be like twat

they piss on my grave and they laugh at you but then they listen to the podcast and we're like oh good Finn oh he made the right shy that's a beautiful little picture there

yeah we just had an hour there we'll we'll wrap up in a second just want to like say it's been fun yeah yeah this has been like therapy for me yeah yeah yeah i've on just slowly revealing myself to the listener i think that's good like it like an onion like slowly peel away the layers until you realize nobody wants to see the center of an onion yeah it's not nice there's the reason you cry while

you peel back the layers brian that's evolution it's a messy business that's god's little like message like don't peel back the layers you don't want to see yeah yeah yeah yeah um the world is an onion yeah yeah well anyway that's the end of the podcast uh let us know what you want to us talk about yeah message us message the facebook page if you have anything you want us to talk about or you have questions we'd like to answer some questions or advice relationship advice we need some of that yeah yeah our relationship advice would not be good now just hit her yeah no um you're better off just abandon the kid you know i mean he's putting like listen okay looking after disabled child puts a lot of pressure on the family so you're better off just

you know putting it in a shoebox take it to the river and whatever happens happens look it all worked out for moses that's all i'm saying okay so maybe if you put in the river i'd become the king of egypt i don't know i think that's how it goes like yeah beautiful anyway that's the end of the show bye thanks for listening apologies to my sibling