Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 67 : Irish Taoiseachs and Crimson Tide

Episode Date: June 21, 2020

We on a Sub bitches and we making chips.

boom we're back back again we're back and with some good news yes i just got results from my college oh how'd you do i passed congratulations so now i get to spend another year in dundah so uh i guess i'm a winner yeah yeah this is what victory feels like yeah yeah that's gonna be fun going back to college with like um all these regulations yeah that's true what's that going look like have they told you as yet like is it going to be um like they can't have full classrooms or anything can they i heard that i have to wear a plastic bag over my head that's the new regulations just for you but yeah it's a government thing that was leo's last act before mihole took over before mehal martin took over yeah uh brian put a bag on your head you fogley

let's talk about mihole martin no i know very little about mihole martin i know very little about meho Martin. I know a lot of people aren't too happy that he's the new T-shock. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of inevitable, really, isn't it? Well, um, it's kind of annoying because I didn't think he would be the new T-shock. No? I thought Leo would do a deal with, like,

the Greens or someone. Yeah. And maybe labor and keep both Sinn Féin and Fina fallout. Yeah, yeah. But now, is this kind of fucked up how, like, three parties have teamed up to stop one party? Yeah, essentially they're all just, and

And Sinn Féin won like the popular vote And now they're all been The rest of the parties are all kind of Consolidating against Sinn Féin Yeah More or less, yeah I mean literally Literally, yeah

All the parties are agreeing to eat shit Just as long as Sinn Féin Is kept down in the dog kennel Yeah Yeah, would it belong Yeah Oh, with your ideas Chuck Earlah

Yeah, yeah grow up, okay. Chucky Arla, we don't need that right now, okay? We need fina fall. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, a lot of people are pissed off about me. No, I don't, I don't know a lot about Mikhail Martin.

You were saying you did a little, uh... I did a little research. Did a little digging. Let me get the dirt on them, okay. Yeah, get the notes. Also, I do like, I'm not saying I want to do it. But it is nice that we have a Tao T-Shuck now who we can call gay. Yeah, I'm not getting true.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, mehal Martin, you hear that? You're gay. Yeah, yeah. Um, a gay guy says what? We are still waiting for Mihal's response. Mea press conference. Uh, just one question.

We're just in there. You're on my shoulders and we're in a trench coat and like a hat. Which is funny because we're not kids. We're like, we're 12 feet tall, more or less. And you're like just very unbalanced. Um, uh, Mr. T-Shod. Look at Mihal Maron, I hear that if your hand is big in your face,

you've got cancer. Do you want to try it? He does it, but I'm so far away, I can't do anything. You just lunge and fall over. We've been made. Let's get out of here. So basically, I keep forgetting about the Greens.

They're part of this as well, but who cares? Yeah, I think a lot of people felt betrayed by the Greens for, like, they would have assumed that the Greens would have sided with Sinn Féin, but Actually, we're going to talk about Fian and Fall and all that in a minute But interesting fact

Yeah So Eam and Rhine, I think is the head of the Greens Okay Which no one cares about No, no But who else in the Greens Think she's chairperson Hazel Chew

Hazel Chu Do you remember her? I do not She became popular From Irish Simpsons means Really? Yeah, she makes Irish Simpsons means And now she's in the Greens

Yeah Well, she was in the Greens She like one of the administrators of the ISF page? No. No, she's just a fan. Okay, right, right. And then she was posting on it.

Everyone was like, hey, you're on Simpsons fan page, Simpson's memes. Yeah. You're pretty cool. A big bag of cans with the lads. You know? So she became popular with that. And then I did a bit of research about her. And she's half Chinese, I think.

She's half Asian. Okay. Maybe half Hawaiian. Okay. Let's not dig too deep here. Maybe she... well she's bloody one of them anyway I don't know I don't know

but I'm sure she's lovely yeah yeah yeah and she's part of Greens like she's not too evil oh and hey she makes Simpsons memes that's pretty cool yeah yeah so anyway I was looking up on her Wikipedia page she's an entire section about

like harassment hate um not she's not doing it she's receiving the hatred and harassment because of her Asian background One politician threatened to revoke her citizenship.

Wow. Yeah, yeah. But he's like one fringe policy. It wasn't like Leo did it. Oh, is he like a people before profit person? No, even worse. It was like this like the national party. Oh, right, right.

Yeah, it's like a party that's like five members. Yeah, okay. But it wasn't Leo. Leo wasn't like, I hate people who are like mixed. I'm the only one. Yeah, yeah. You better not be gay as well. That's my thing.

Miley Cyrus tweets me. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that actually, yeah. Very weird tweets. What was that about actually? I don't know. I just know that, now, was she tweeting at Leo saying good for you for supporting the Black Lives Matter? No, no, she was like, Leo, I think you should support Black Lives Matter.

Right, okay. I don't know why she picked Leo of her, I care of all people. I heard, like, this is getting really off topic, but Justin Bieber tweeted at some, like, Irish singer who I've never heard of, but apparently has, like, millions of subscribers. I really cannot remember her name. She's an Irish singer-songwriter. She's only like 19, maybe younger. And, yeah, basically Bieber tweeted at her, her messengers saying,

you should use your platform to talk about Black Lives Matter and I'm a shame that you don't and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, very weird. God, I love it if she'd kneecapped him. She got the rabbi's out for one last spin. Yeah. Because they're angry about the whole, like, knock it in the power thing.

Mary Lou is like, I'm just going to take it out and Bieber. Let's go get Bieber. The kneecap Bieber and Haley, his wife, is screaming, they're like, you better be quiet or are you going to get it as well. We're going to mount batting you. And Alec Baldwin's there as well. He's just chilling. He's just chilling. He's doing a Trump impression.

Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, you just need cap my daughter. Wait, is it Alec Baldwin as Haley? No, he's an uncle. Which one is it? Which Baldwin is Hayley's dad? I think he's the shittest one. Stephen Baldwin, Baldwin? The one who went mental and religious? it might be that one

He went full I remember the time to think like That's the shit is Baldwin He is the shit as Baldwin Yeah Bieber you fucked the spawn The shit is Baldwin But let's get back to politics

Sorry back to politics Why do we always end up talking About the baldwins Anyway go on They're so interesting They really are They're fun So anyway

This is two of them Agree to each shit They're going to swap They're going to tag team So Mihal Martin It will be T-shock until December 2020. Okay. And then Leo will jump back in.

Right. Okay. And the greens, they're just there. They're just, yeah. Yeah. And they'll be like, well, maybe we should not destroy the environment. Shut up, you.

And then do the two stooges thing. Hey, chat ahead. Yeah. Yeah, they got to help a wealthy dowager move a piano. But anyway, okay. So they're basically agreeing to be like, half shitty t-shock like it's not full power

yeah in the back of her head it always be like well it wasn't real t-shock you had to share it didn't you you have to take turns and obviously that's I think that more so applies to mihole martin because leo varadker is basically like yeah I'm just giving this dud a few months

in the big boy chair and then I'm gonna come back daddy's home and he's gonna take over again this works out perfectly for leo it's like make a wish foundation for mehal martin That's what it is. Exactly, yeah. Because also it's like, yeah.

He has political cancer. Yeah, but like Leo's been like, oh, there's a recession coming up and breakfast is still happening. Oh, okay, I tell you what? Miho, why don't you go first? Oh, really, Mr. Leo? Do you mean it? Oh, boy. Yeah, that's pretty much what it is.

Yeah. And so from Mihal, this is the last go of it. Yeah. Because he's lost, in 2011, Fiena Fall got the worst election results ever for Pina Foll. Yeah. it was disgrace I read about this on your Tinder bio yeah yeah I'm girls love it

get some wet proper moist he's whispering to her ear alright little sway up yeah so this is last go okay and he was like

fuck I'm going to do it but he's not happy about it no one in his party's happy about at least 50 members of the party are like this is a disgrace grace he can't do and he's like, sure up.

This is my time to shine. It's my big moment. It's like his super sweet 16, you know? Yeah, yeah. Or a real shitty one. Like the dad

messed up and it's like, it's like in a chucky cheese. Just got him like a 2006 Toyota Corolla. That's not the one I wanted. Yeah. So he's going to be like a shit version of Taoiseach.

But I did some research on him, Mihal Martin and Douglasson dirt. Oh, yeah. Do you know he used to be mayor of Cork? I didn't know that. Yeah. Didn't he know Cork had a mayor. No.

No, no Cork had democracy. Also, okay, listen to this. So I think he was Minister of Foreign Affairs. Okay. So listen to these connections. He was the first Irish TD to visit the kind of Palestine region, Hamas. Right.

Interesting. Dodgy there. Well, yeah. Yeah. Okay, and then he was the first TD to visit Cuba. hmm okay yeah and they're very interesting

interesting yeah yeah what kind of connections could be picked up there well Cuba and Palestine I suppose the main theme

of those two is sort of a revolutionary fighting what some may assume to be oppressive forces you know fight the power

dot dot dot but you hear that you like oh he must be a pretty cool guy nah I don't think he went there to laugh he went over there

it's like you troublemakers why don't you just fall back in line he went there to learn so how do you kill him yeah is this where they make Che Guevara T-shirts

is this where they're made brilliant yeah I was going to say that's all the dirt I got on him I also he has two kids they're dead two dead kids

yeah well like stillborn or like actual I didn't go into it did they get a few years a few miles in the car clock before

I think it was both of them were pretty early on right yeah was out the hotel window like Eric Clapton's

kid which is weird like well I don't know obviously that happened a long time ago but according to the

hangover movie you can't open hotel windows hmm Mr. Clapton yeah yeah

Mr. Tishok do you think Eric Clapton killed his kid I'm glad this has finally been brought up because

I've been practicing this answer you know he was running for election back in 2011 and he was like, this is going to be the first thing they ask. And he doesn't understand how it hasn't come up.

Lila, boom, boom, you got me all monies, Leela. Yeah, so you didn't look into how his kids died or how old they were? They were young. I didn't really want to turn into a big thing.

Okay. Yeah. I only said that because I was desperate because I went in going to find out the dirt. I was hoping to be like, yeah. Oh, he's working for Putin or something like that, you know? Yeah, yeah.

But no, not like that. He's just a guy from Cork who seems pretty boring and he was desperate to be Dishok because he would have been the only Fianna Gale, Fianna Fall leader to not be Dishok. Right, okay. And he didn't want that. It's all about legacy.

Yeah, sure, yeah. It's like rings in, you know, in basketball. Yeah. It's all about how many rings you got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the NBA. All-Star rings, now what they're called? No. No?

It's a championship rings. Yeah, I don't know a lot about basketball. Well, you don't need to it. Okay. Yeah. But I'm just saying, like, Thanks. Thanks for not. I'm just saying love basketball players.

They're really good. Yeah. Like Charles Barclay, for example, who never got a ring. Oh, did he not know? Yeah, yeah. Well, they got to be in Space Jam. He did. It's better than a ring.

Mihal Martin didn't even get Space Jam. That's what I mean. He's like, I guess it'll be Keish off day. He's probably, he's like trying to get in touch with LeBron's people. It's like, can I please be in Space Jam too? Come on. I got the makeup. I was the mayor of Cork for God's sake.

It's not going to make any sense if I'm not in it. So I don't understand how this works. This is kind of unprecedented, like the idea of rotating T-Shok's. Yeah. The only place has been done before is, again, Israel. Ah. So connect the dots. Triple parentheses.

Yeah, they're following the Israel model. I look the idea of like someone like a conspiracy theorist, like going like, I've looked all the clues and I've done all the research. Turns out Israel full of Jews. You shocked? Yeah. Because I was. This is what they're not telling you. You guys know some out of the synagogues in Israel.

Something's fishy. I'm going to do some investigating. So they've done it in Israel. I don't think it worked very well in Israel. I think when Israel is kind of like a stopgap thing. It's like we'll do this for like a few months. What was it with prime ministers? Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, okay. And they did in Switzerland as well. And in Switzerland the way it done it wasn't even like, it wasn't just prime minister. It was also, like, people in government. So, like, every, like, six months, it switched, like, six members of government. Oh. Between parties.

So it was, like, you have a different help minister every six months, whatever. That's weird, though. Like, because, I mean, how much can you do in six months, really? Nothing. Is that kind of the point of it? If they keep switching around, it's, like, then it kind of gives an excuse for why less progress gets made surrounding big issues. I think for them, it's kind of good in a way, because, in the future it's going to have to be a lot of mean decisions are going to have to be made in terms of like going to have to raise tax because you gave you all that all that sweet sweet money yeah when you were being lazy and wouldn't work during quarantine okay when you wouldn't go out licking people during the COVID yeah yeah um so things are going to get worse the recession's coming so having like more people to blame is good yeah for them like not for us but for them it's like oh he did it yeah yeah no he did it and yeah no he

he did it. And then you can just switch around. It's like musical chairs for accountability. He said, he's gay. He's from Cork. You know?

Which is worse. You decide. J4 in the T-Shok house. Supposed that to be the doll, wouldn't it? Yeah, idiot. So I don't think it's going to be very good.

I think other people are going to be laughing at us. Even more so. America's going to be like, that country's fucked up. Get your shit together, guys. Come on, guys. Oh, another Chaz just opened up in New York. Well, even the Chaz, people are like, this is how you do with Ireland, okay?

Even when they're like mad Max leader, or at least it's just a one guy, they don't be switching around, you know? That's really all I have to say about the election. I just want to talk about and get my opinions out there. I'm just trying to like, I don't know what to think. We, there's no, you can't really predict it. No, and you know what, it does seem to pale in comparison to the number of things that have been happening and are happening around the world, you know,

who gives a shit if, you know, Lee Hall Martin is going to be T-Shok for six months. You, me, Hall Martin, Leo Veradker, it doesn't really matter. And to be honest, because we're such a little, like, little cum buckets for America, like, you know, we just do what America does, we just copycats, okay? I think if Bernie had become

President of America, that would have done more good for Ireland than... America? If Bernie had been elected President of America, that would have done more good for Ireland than Leo. Yeah.

Because then it would... Because then it would be like, if America starts doing things and changing businesses a bit, then... Well, maybe it's going to be bullshit. Maybe it would have been worse. I don't think it would have had a major impact.

I think it would have had a little bit of effect. Do you think? More of the effect. What I'm saying is, I'm not even saying like it would change the world. Like, Bernie becomes president, okay,

and then Ireland we all start singing songs. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying like, it would have had a better effect than Leo or Mihole, which is no effect. Yeah, I get you. Okay, yeah.

It would have felt like something had changed, whereas this doesn't really feel like anything. Yeah, yeah. It's just kind of, it's unprecedented, but also boring. Yeah, it's the worst kind of unprecedented. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's just like, me, and what? Yeah, it would be like if, but it does kind of signify that trouble times are ahead that nobody wants to be on the hot seat for like a full, you know, full year or whatever. Yeah, you're right about it being boring. It'd be like if you were saying,

hey, guess what, guys, the Taoiseach is going to dress up like a cling on now. You'd be like, well, I guess it's different, but... It's interesting. Yeah, it's not really... Yeah. Is this going to affect them? Is this going to be good for the country?

country, oh no, no, is that. The Klingons are avengeful rights. Is that actual Klingon? Yeah, no, not actual Klingon, but that's pretty much how they speak. And the music they listen

to? Yeah. I think I said it's on a podcast before, but there was a thing where Google had like a kind of logo with different languages on it. I think were placed Nigerian with Klingon. Really?

Yeah, yeah. I think I did hear about that. Yeah, people were kind of like, maybe back to Nigeria. Maybe they're a little bit more important. Yeah. I know politics is boring. Yeah, it is.

Especially Irish politics. And especially when it's coming from two people who don't know anything about Irish politics. All I'm saying is, okay, it's a monopoly. They fucked over Mary Lou. Mary Lou has the right for vengeance. Yeah. Much like the Klingons,

she should seek vengeance. The Klingons just went around kneecapping people Yeah, yeah That would be fun What time were we at? Oh, we're only at about 20 minutes Oh, 20 minutes Okay, well

Let's talk about Crimson Tide for a bit Okay, yes, you watched Crimson Tide Yeah So basically what's going on is I'm watching the news And it's depressing It's bumming me Yeah, yeah

It's a real bummer It's giving you a case of the Mondays Yeah, yeah Yeah I know how the cat feels so I was like I'm just going to watch some dumb movies some escapeism I was looking to see what to watch

and I was like oh Crimson Tide I've heard about that you would know it from the Simpsons episode yeah they parody it in the Simpsons episode which has ruined the movie for a lot of it so it's very oh it's almost scene for scene okay there's so many scenes I'm like

oh this is from the Simpson oh kind of like the Shining like it's hard for me to think to watch The Shining without thinking of that Simpsons episode. The Shining, the scenes are good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where a lot of this is like,

this is so easy to parody. Right, okay. That's like, this actually isn't anything. It wasn't for The Simpsons. They'll just be bored. Okay, right. Actually, speaking of the Simpsons real quick, just to go on a tangent.

Remember we're talking about Irish Simpsons fans? Yeah. So I'll listen to a podcast where they talk to one of the guys who worked on the Simpsons. The classic Simpsons, okay, yeah. I forget the name now. It wasn't one of the four guys that Conan interview But it's one of

Like The male Yeah Yeah Yeah One of the big dogs Yeah Yeah one of the big dogs

And they brought up Irish Simpsons fans That's pretty cool This is an American podcast Talking to an American writer And they were like

I don't know I don't really get Understand the jokes But these Irish Simpsons fans are great Yeah Yeah Like they

You know It's clear That there is a real Love For the golden years Of the Simpsons And nothing else Do you ever

Notice that like All that ISF means like very rarely you know do they reference episodes that happened past 2000

no there's no like there's no really good season 30 jokes no no there's not it's very rare to see that and um it just told it was interesting that even the writer himself

is like oh yeah I love it I don't get it I don't really understand what they mean by like you know chucky our lot yeah yeah

but a bag of cans I don't know why you put the cans in a bag but Are there food cans? The Irish do love their soup cans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they think.

They sure hate people with tans as well. They don't like anyone who has a tan. I certainly hope that's not a racial epit. They don't think we have glass. They think we just drink out cans, you know, metal cans. And they think we hate black people because it's like, all those black and tans. Black and tans, yeah.

They must like light skins, black people. but darkskinned they do not like that's interesting now that do you remember what podcast it was a chapel oh cool

yeah yeah nice so I'd recommend I think the episode was called cops or donuts okay or donuts or

I know it was some kind of dumb name it was a reference something they said it but I'd recommend listening to it was an interesting

listening to him talk about classic Simpsons and they don't even the interviewers don't even hide the fact they're like

yeah you wrote it when it was good. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, that's got to be so interesting. What do the people

who work there now think? Do they know that... Well, he can't even acknowledge it. He was like, yeah, I mean, it's great. I mean, like,

hey, they're working, they're working hard over there. Yeah, yeah. You know, you gotta be like, you gotta be like,

you gotta be diplomatic about it. Yeah, you can't just go, it's bullshit. I don't even think it's an issue of like money. I think it's just like, I probably know a lot of guys

working there. Yeah, exactly. he did make some kind of reference the fact something like a fair play to him because I couldn't do that anymore and I don't understand how they can still write Homer as like a 35 year old

where if you think about like he would have grown up in the 90s yeah that's true actually yeah it's like it's weird because they were... The show's been going for about so he'd be in his 60s now wouldn't he really? Older I think really yeah because when they were writing it

they were basing it all on their dads their dads would be born in the 40s yeah that's true yeah So it's just, it'd be weird. Like, you could... So Homer's a boomer. In the future, you could have Homer, like... You know, it's like, oh, back in the day, Homer's really big into a Manchester rave scene.

Hey, Marge, I'm going to drop some bills and, you know, listen to the Happy Mondays. It's going to be great. Oh, Homer, no. You have to take the kids to school. Yeah. I'm buzzing off my tits, Marge. I can't take them to school. Yeah, I mean, like, in the first...

future, because Simpsons probably won't stop for years and years, because owned by Disney now and, like, the IP is so valuable. Oh, God. That'd be like... It's depressing. Homer will tell them when he was in school and he saw the towers fall. I just don't understand how they came down

at free fall speed, March. Surely there was nanothermite detected in ground zero. Homer, no, you can't say that. What else in that It was a good interview now

They also talked about John Swartzwilder Oh he is a very interesting guy Isn't he said some stuff I hadn't heard about So apparently okay He doesn't watch any movies Yeah he's like a really weird recluse Kind of guy isn't he

Apparently he only watch Kubrick movies Wow So he's watching a movie every like three years That's amazing That's the only time he'd watch a movie So did he just read a lot then He reads a lot and apparently He loves collect

old newspapers. So he has like newspapers from to 1700s. Wow, really? Like newspapers from like Western times. That's class. And he has like Hitler's paintings. He's a few of Hitler's paintings.

Oh, don't like that so much. It's class. I just know, like he's very interesting guy. Like he never did any interviews. You know, he was real weird, reclusive. But he is, I think he is considered like the greatest writer

of The Simpsons ever had. So here's a few things about him that I found interesting. So one is, so he doesn't spend that much money. Apartfully, he puts money in antiques. So he buys a lot of, like, Hitler's paintings, but also, like, old stuff that it just only will increase in value. Okay. So he buys old things and he just bought a house,

and he lives with his brother, and his brother's on disability because he was, like, working on a railroad. Oh, Jesus Christ. So it's just him and his brother just live with, like, a bunch of old newspapers. And he, after, like, 93, he just wrote all his scripts. at home. He never went into the writer's room. Yeah, because of the smoking ban.

He wasn't allowed to smoke in the room. Yeah, yeah. I did hear that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they just wrote at home. And apparently, like, most of the scripts, like the, uh, Prohibition episode, that's like 85% him first draft.

Jesus, yeah. Any other writers, like, you do a draft and, like, the only thing about Simpsons is you do like 70 draft. Yeah, yeah, and it goes through like meticulous rewrites and table reads. Yeah, yeah. And he'd just be like, yeah, I'm going to go home. I'm going to write a script, send it in. And everybody just is kind of like, you don't need to do anything to it really.

And the only change to do is like the emotional stuff. Right, okay. Yeah, because apparently he just didn't care about that stuff. That's why like the Prohibition episode, it's not exactly, you don't learn anything from it. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the kind of like emotional moments or warm and tender moments, he didn't really care about that. He didn't care. He was like, some other writer will do that.

So he just did the jokes? Yeah. That's class. And what else about him? I would love to see a documentary about him. I think you'd be a great subject for a documentary I would love that but I don't think it'd be hard to get a 90 minute documentary about them

just because there's so little footage I think mostly it'd probably have to come from people that worked with them I'm sure Everyone's got stories about him Yeah exactly And like did he ever like rub elbows With like famous people

I'm sure he had like He probably has a lot of fans Who are like celebrities right Yeah but he just doesn't do anything He doesn't go to cons. He doesn't even have that much of a history in terms of, like, he wrote for, like, S&L for, like, two weeks or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

And he did, like, Army Man or something like that. It was, like, some zine. Okay. Some, like, DIY zine. Right, right, right. That he worked with you other writers, and, like, Mac Rining liked it. Okay. Someone big into Simpsons, and he just got the Simpsons, like, straight away.

That's amazing. He didn't have that job. He didn't have that job was, like, yeah, I worked on, like, Trees Company for years, and I did all these dumb sitcoms. And then, like, like, the guy they were interview. I'm just going to look up his name right now because he called him the guy but he went to the whole process like he wrote a spec script

which if you're not in the scene a spec script is like you pick a sitcom you write like an episode an episode like a just a fictional episode of what might happen to the characters or whatever just to show that you understand the basics of it yeah exactly or that like your style of writing

your tone fits with the tone of the show etc yeah so he wrote an episode with a partner of his called he wrote a spec script of a sitcom called coach

yeah I'd see no one knows it and it wasn't even like it wasn't like well regarded it wasn't like a critical favor but yeah it was just pop and he's like

oh just that's popular just do that okay and then he wrote it and then like everyone who read it was like yeah this is good but we can clearly tell that you hate this show

like we can't judge this because oh you've written something that's like very snarky and like a great satire of a sitcom but like that's Yeah No one wants to hire you because of that

Yeah I get you Yeah So he was like Okay I'll need to pick different sitcom And he was like This show Seinfeld's been on the air For like three weeks I'll pick this and write a spec script

That's amazing So he wrote it and people were like We don't really know what this Seinfeld is But we like the script That's cool Yeah God what's his name Is it Bill Oakley?

Bill Oakley Yeah yeah That's him yeah yeah yeah that name i remember seeing that like in the credits for the simpsons bill oakley apparently now he does like um hamburger reviews sure why not i mean like you're in your sixties you're you're you're you're fucking you've made your money yeah yeah it's like well i'm just gonna do hamburger reviews on youtube and talk to some socialists that's literally what homer simpson would do yeah if he had

his choice of what he would do for a career hamburger reviews yeah yeah and it's just like and he's it's kind of funny i looked at one video it's not mad about hamburgers here but it's like he's talking about how like Arby's is better than Wendy's or ever and it's like if I ate those things I probably have more of connection with sure yeah yeah yeah if you could tell a difference

so anyway we were talking about Crimson Tide that's how we got onto this yeah yeah so what I meant is the parody is so good it's even though the film isn't great not like the shining where like both are great both are great yeah yeah

so a little backstory about this okay is um so there it's brookheimer and tony scott yeah you know one's alive one took a header off the golden gate bridge was it the golden gate bridge i forget which bridge it was but yeah he jumped off a bridge it'd be funny if he didn't realize that would kill him no because he's so used to making like big action movies where like you could jump off a bridge you'd be fine is this like guys i've seen this done a million times i'll be fine uh it's called research, because I want my movies be realistic, okay? So I'll

catch you in the flip-de-flip. Yeah, so he committed suicide each other. And it's interesting, because, like, he was a huge Hollywood director. Yeah, you forget, like, he's consistent. Ridley Scott's brother. Maybe not as critically. No, no, he was

kind of like the Michael Bay School of Filmmaking, where it's just like style over substance. A little bit, but there was substance there. Yeah, true romance is great. I love true romance. He directed that. Well, speaking of true romance, okay.

So he's making this movie with Brookheimer. Yeah. Okay. And he's like, yeah, it's about the Navy. And we got a few writers working on. A few, like, good screenwriters at the time. I think Steve's alien worked on it. He wrote like the Irish man.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. So he gets these times, like, it needs a little extra. It needs a few, like, I don't know, it needs like some cultural references, some like pop culture references. And some end words.

Yeah, yeah. And some of a feat. If only, I suppose I work with this guy on True Romance. Maybe we'd get him in. I know, actually, I think this was maybe before True Romance. I'm not sure. But anyway, like, he knew, it was like, I know this guy called Quigley Tarantula or Tarangano or something like that. Yeah, let's get him on.

So they got him on. And it's so obvious the scenes that he wrote. Okay. And when I'm going through this with you, I'm going to ask you, like, do you think Tarantino wrote this? Okay. And it will be like, of course. Okay. Right, right, right.

Let's just say it's a bit weird that people in the submarine are really big fans of Silver Surfer. I love Marvel Comics. Right, okay. Yeah. So another interesting about this is that, so they have the script. Yeah. Like, great. Okay, we're going to do this.

And they were like, we need to go on a few submarines. So they go to the Navy and like, we're going to hang out into submarines. They're like, yeah, cool. Okay. Because they told the Navy it's going to be like a cool film about submarines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, cool. then as they're doing research

you're like wait a minute is this film about a treason where the captain's crazy yeah you gotta leave you can't do that yeah yeah so they had to leave and they weren't allowed legally well they weren't allowed film the submarines going in out of the water but then they did some research

like actually you can't stop us oh so they just did it they just got a chopper and like filmed a submarine going in out of the water Jesus yeah it's pretty balsy fucking gorilla like yeah it's just like basically saying fuck you to the u.s navy yeah yeah wow so um we'll jump into this film okay let's do it okay um so we open up and it starts off its hands in her music so

oh he did the score dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun to crimson tie dun dun submarine it's like a bond thing or it's like crimson tie you want to be a submarine in the waters of my love he's the man with the crimson tide and by crimson tide i mean his penis just in case anyone didn't get that so we open up and like we see there's trouble afoot between america and russia oh yeah where the guy from malcolm the middle uh you know the the army guy oh right yeah yeah yeah francis is uh i heard he uh blew his head off yeah didn't we talk about that before yeah it's hilarious story he blew his head off and survived he called nine one one and was like yeah i i I'm not doing too well.

I just shot myself in the head. He died a few minutes later. Oh, okay. Because I think he lost his foot of diabetes. Right, okay. He was depressed. Ooh. Yeah.

Okay. So we open up Denzel Washington. Okay. And Vigo Morrison. Right. All right. Kids birthday party. And, uh, just because they've got kids.

Cruising for some spoon dang. No, they've got kids. There are a couple of sailors on leave. Yeah. Looking to bang some. Huchimann. I know where we can meet some chicks. And they're at a kid's party with a clown.

And they're like drinking like, yeah. No, it's going to get better. Just doing sniffs in the jacks. This shit's about to go crazy. I hear they got a magician. All right. So they're at a kids party. Yes, they're a kids party and it's like the wife is like, you know,

enjoying it. And it's like, but he's like looking at the TV because like they're seeing troubles of foot in Russia. Okay. And the guy from Malcolm in the middle is like a Russian guy being like, Western scum. You're right, man. With the Western scum?

Like that, okay. Western scum. I am a Russian, yeah. And he's like, oh, here we go again. And the wife's like, oh, here we go again. My husband's got again a submarine with lots of straight men. So they're like, okay, we've got to go on a new mission, okay? Right.

It's basically, it's like, not on crazy. to sail around, show the Russians a bit of strength, okay? Okay, yeah, yeah. Show me pussies. Right, right. And Denzel Washington is the captain, and this is like Denzel and Vigo's

first time on this new sub. Right. Like, they're sailors, but they're book sailors, you know? They never seen action. Buck sailors. Yeah, like,

oh yeah, you're good at your exams, your sailor exams. Right. And yeah, you've sailed a submarine around. You've never seen the shit. You never seen the real fucking shit. Okay. Of being a submarine.

how is it much different yeah really when you're in a submarine you're in a submarine yeah you've ever seen a YMCA that's the shit you got your buddy on one size

a Native American you got your buddy in ones and the other side you got a cop with a handlebar mustache you're hanging out in a bat house and you're seeing the shit you don't know because you weren't there man

so basically okay they're going ahead's new ship but Hackman he's a captain and his second in command's got appendicitis

so he needs a new second in command so he's hand-picked Washington Denzel Washington

and he's going through like Denzel Washington's credentials like oh yeah see you got

you're very good exams you know that's going to be helpful if we go to battle you know

boffin yeah and he's like you went to Harvard you okay that comes back later on

oh yeah He's like, Harvard, you. Really? Reading books. You. Was it a dance scholarship? Sorry.

Racist. Yeah, yeah. I assume you play basketball. That's how you got in. So anyway. Oh, and Gandalfini's in it as well. Oh, really? Yeah, Gandalfi is like the lackey.

Like, he loves Gene Hackman. He's like, yeah, get him both. Oh, yeah. He's like the worm. Yeah, so like when Hackman goes, like, you went to Harvard, he gives like Gandalfini a look like. Affirmative action It's only for Italians and white guys

Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, do me this guy Went to have, what do you So, um, next scene, okay, so he accepts He's like, you're going to be my new second in command Right I think we're going to have a fun time in this submarine So they're getting ready to go

And it's raining and again, all these scenes are in the Simpsons, like it's raining and they're saying, he's saying goodbye Yeah to his family and the kid won't talk to him because he's like got an earring it's basically it's like I can't enjoy these scenes

because you're just sick of the same sense yeah and the wife says goodbye she says something like oh I'm not saying goodbye because I know you're going to come back that's the only line a woman says in the whole film really yeah this film does not pass

the Bechtdale test which is funny because you know about Bechdale test yeah I do yeah so I didn't realize that's based on a cartoonist called Alison Beckdell who I actually like Oh, you liked her stuff?

Yeah, but I didn't realize, I thought it was just a coincidence. I thought the Bechdale, they were referring to some stuffy, like, old lady feminist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's like a cool cartoonist. Okay. And she actually did a graphic novel called Fun House. Right. I think it's about her dad being secretly gay.

Oh, interesting. So when I heard about passing a Bechdale test, I was like, well, this film doesn't have a character's dad being secretly gay. I guess no movie passed a Bechtel test. to be with that criteria so the rest of the film no women speak right

so that's a thumbs up for me sold okay so they're getting on the the bus to go to the submarine yeah all right and Gandalfini's there and a really fat this is important now

a really fat sailor okay gets on the bus right and you know he's like oh it's raining because it's raining real heavily it's like, oh, he's panting because he's so fat.

And Gandalfeen, he's like, sure it's raining out there. And he's like, yeah, it is. And Galifine is like, you will, you will call me officer. Oh, really? Yeah, he immediately, like, turns a dime and goes, you will, you will refer to me as officer and show me the respect I deserve. Okay. You fat piece of lard.

And the fat guy's like, oh, no, the Navy is stressful, you know. But then Gandalfeen's like, I'm only messing with you. But he wasn't. He wasn't. He wasn't, yeah. He doesn't. He wasn't. He doesn't.

He just loves the power of it. Right, right. So Gandalfi, he's a real asshole in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Which is good. And it's good to see, like, a let. It's funny as well, because this is Gandalfini making fun of fat people.

Yeah, yeah. Well, like, was he as, he wasn't as fat back then, I assume. He's still, like. Still pretty chubby, though. I will say, there's a lot of people in this film that you're like, he is awfully large. Okay. To be, like, in the Navy. There's a lot of guys.

There's a lot of bellies in this. Right, okay. And, like, for the older guys, you're like, oh, maybe they pass the physical and let themselves go. Sure. But this fat guy in the bus, who I'm just going to refer to as fat guy. Wait, who's the actor? Did you recognize him? He's not.

He's like, some actor didn't know. Just random fat guy. He doesn't have a major part in it, like a major speaking part in it, okay? He's just the fat guy. Yeah, but this fat guy is like, he's new. Okay. And he is like dangerously fat. As we'll learn later on in the film.

Oh, he's got like proper health problems from it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Like, he's wheezy fat. Okay. Like, if you tell him do push-ups, that's a death sentence. Right, I get you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, um. They all hop on the submarine, and they're about to go under. Yeah. And they're standing at the top of a submarine and like a Hackman smoking a cigar. Okay. And just they're looking at the sunset, and he's like, you know why I like you, Denzel Washington? I'm just going to, yeah, okay, he doesn't actually say that. You know what like you, Denzel Washington?

God, he keeps calling him by his real name. I'm not going to learn names. Yeah, he's like, you know what I like you? You don't ruin the moment by talking. okay and it's like I mean you know Denzel's like this captain you know

yeah I can't like him all right yes and then they go underneath and the cigar is floating in the ocean oh and he throws the cigar out and it's floating okay then they're under the ocean okay and things are going well

they have like a dinner scene we're talking about war which again is the Simpsons okay remember that Simpsons we're like I want peas and he's like yeah peace how are you going to get it oh right yeah yeah it's basically

that scene okay okay they have like this debate about war where hackman's like you know if you want to if you want peace you got to kill people and then tells like well i believe that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind and uh you know then and hackman's like yeah that's all well and good but we're in a submarine take your pants off soldier yeah Gandhi didn't have nuclear weapon did it you know it's like a little back and forth we get you get a sense of the characters but also you it's sensitive boat respect each other and like a little hackman's a little bit like

maybe you're the future you know maybe uh maybe my old ways of like shoot first ask question shoot launch nuclear missile ask questions later maybe that's just old hat yeah you know this is probably going to be my last goal on a submarine so yeah you know this is a new breed now yeah yeah and uh things going well okay uh we have a funny little scene okay where um two of the officers are arguing right and denzil's like what are you guys arguing about and the Italian officer's like oh sir sir we're having an argument because he says the Mobius drew

Silver Surfer the best where I say Jack Kirby drew Jack Kirby drew Silver Surfer the best and he's like you guys are so unprofessional you have a fist fight this is a punchline okay he's like you had a fist fight over whether or not Mobius or Jack Kirby is the better

silver surfer artist God damn it everyone knows Jack Kirby's the best Silver Surfer artist boom yeah and they're like Captain knows best That's really forced And contrived That's unnecessary That's basically word for word

What happened That's ridiculous These people who like Are somewhat trained I'm like a fist fight On a nuclear submarine Like their kids growing up in Brooklyn Where you're like

Hey Oh What are you saying The Jack Kirby's better What was the other guy Mobius Mobius What are you fucking

Gagoo'd say He's something out Sir he's disrespecting Silver Surfer Oh well He doesn't know enough about Marvel comics Irish fucking people

we ain't telling me and Denzo's like normally wouldn't accept the N-word but in this case if you disrespect Silver Surfer you deserve the N-word

Yeah so that's a Tarantino moment That's ridiculous We'll have that sprinkled outro to film Okay Yeah

So things are going well But guess what Fat guy He's in the kitchen Okay Cooking up some chips Sure he is Hey don't I know it

Baby Yeah He's cooked cooking up some chips in a submarine I need a heart attack okay Oh just he actually

Oh wow I think the excitement Of making chips Hey I know that feeling Sure thing Yeah yeah yeah Wow Listen it's okay

You have a heart attack okay And like then there's a fire Because like there's grease everywhere Yeah okay So like Please Let me eat my chips before the paramedics get here.

Oh my God. They're so delicious. Yeah, okay. So there's a fat guy to fire on a submarine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, we need to get a medic.

Oh, sure, yeah. And then Hackman's like, you know what, let's run a drill. We got a standard fat guy drill, a fat guy drill. So they run a drill during this and because they ran the drill,

the fat guy dies. Wow. Yeah. And did Hackman want that? No, but Hackman's like, look, are busy. It's like 9-11 when NORAD were like doing the flight simulator drills while the planes are going in the buildings. The whole time there was just so much Saudi Arabian guy cooking

chips or something in the top of the North Tower. I just have to be like a fat guy. You have the heart attack. And then the towers fall. Everyone was distracted. But anyway, okay. So this causes conflict. Yeah. Because Denzel Washington is like maybe you should have ran a judge. drill while a member of our crew was having a heart attack sure and you know we could have like used some of those men to help him with the heart attack yeah and then you know hackman's like hey look the russians don't care if a fat guy's a heart attack and you know um denzil's like respectfully sir i disagree he's like you know what because everyone's watching it's like you know

what let's go into my room for a minute yeah so they go into hackman's room now there's something i haven't mentioned yet this is also a great little fact okay okay Hackman is divorced because he loves the Navy more than his wife Oh And the only thing he has That he brings with him is his little dog Okay

So he's a little Jack Russell Terrier That he brings on the submarine Uh huh Yeah And who pisses all over a submarine Okay Yeah and it's like That's the captain

You know Yeah yeah yeah That dog's basically second command Okay Okay So he goes and do his room He has Hackman's a little room With his dog

His little special room with his dog. Yeah, okay. So he brings, uh, no girls allowed. Oh, no way. Yeah. I'm starting to see a pattern here. I'm picking up on something, Brian.

He brings Denzel Washington, into his room. He's like, you never, uh, talking like that in front of the people, okay? Because, uh, you gotta respect me. You disagree with what I'm saying. You got to respect me. You got to say yes. Because this is how army,

this is how the Navy works, okay? It's based on a system of men taking orders. and men taking orders and understanding and trusting that the man ahead of them is saying the correct order and when you disagree with me in front of the people you are making everyone doubt themselves

and you're putting everyone's life in doubt okay? We are here to enforce we are here to protect democracy not to practice it okay now the head of the CIA loved that so much he got down his desk

are you serious? Yeah yeah yeah yeah Wow. The one, who's the one who got caught in an affair? Head of the CIA? Yeah, yeah. Wasn't Alan Dulles, no? Oh, no, no, I'm getting mixed up. I think it was Mueller.

Oh, okay. I think Mueller actually has it on his desk. He loved that so much. Right, okay, right, right, right. We're here to protect democracy, not to practice it. Right, okay. Wow. Yeah, the CIA, the shoe fits.

Yeah, yeah. So Washington is like, I understand, I still think, you know, it's a shame about the fat guy dying but shit happens yeah and then hackman's like

you know what do they do so what do they do with the fat guy then do they just like just put them in a put him in a fridge yeah

this is where he'd feel most at home no do you show him just put him in like an area okay like a little like missile

designated fat guy area yeah yeah yeah that's the thing if someone dies it's like well we're here

for six months the smell I know the smell yeah it's not fun but like hackman before they leave the room

hackman's like you know what though um if you do disagree with me you can come into my room and tell me like i do this is why i have a second in command this is why we this is where we work things out in my room just two guys hashing it out two guys and little jack russell that pisses everywhere and every one again we do reaction shots to the dog hey can i just go back to something how did you find out that the guy from cia liked it so did like it's on wikipedia oh okay it's it's um it's a fair it's i think he talked about a lot that's interesting he likes the film yeah um so anyway before

Washington goes again he's like oh by the way I didn't kill that fat guy his weight did yeah that's the end of the scene but who said that hackman hackman yeah okay right I think that's meant to be like a I wasn't sure that was meant to be comic relief or like a sign of like how he thinks of why thinks of people okay or maybe just the writer is just going hey

fuck fat people who die yeah that's just the real fair enough yeah that was like Tarantino did the Silver Surfer stuff and Riddy Scott did the fat stuff he put that in and he was like

Tony Scott yeah sorry no Riddy Scott jumped in for like a few minutes oh really yeah

just helped out only with fat stuff you know why a alien was successful no faties yeah yeah

yeah there's no faties and gladiator what we eat in this life echoes in eternity so anyway okay

so things go back to normal there's a dead guy in the ship but everyone seems happy again sure okay

and it's like dad We're all doing well. Guess what? They get a message from the government, US government, fire the nuke. Oh,

yeah. And they're like, oh no, this is it, guys, this is what we all. It's going down. Oh,

we got to follow orders. We've got to do it. And they're getting ready to fire the nuke. But then they get another message. It's like, hey, don't fire the,

and they're like, what's going on? And they get hit by a missile. Right. A little small missile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of that they have to lose the message. Oh, I see.

Right. So they don't know. And they've lost contact with the outside world. Okay, so now is the whole film, should we fire the nuke or not? Yeah, yeah. Right, okay.

So immediately, Hackman's like, why are you guys stopping? We've got to keep pressing the buttons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Washington is like, uh... We press the buttons to make the bad people go away. And Washington is like,

maybe you should wait till the radio is fixed. You know, before we, you know, cause nuclear holocaust. By the way, that's what he says during the whole film. Holocaust. Yeah, yeah. And it is like... I'm a holocaust denier

Yeah, because I deny that it's pronounced like that. It is a weird thing that he does And it is so pronounced The nuclear holocaust that you're like... What else is that in? That's in something else Where somebody pronounces Holocaust weird.

Yeah. Oh, what is it? That's going to annoy me now. You'll think of it as we go along. When you stop thinking about it, you'll think of it. Yeah, okay. So it's like this... It's actually in talk radio.

Remember we were talking about that earlier? Probably, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's in talk radio. A lot of screenwriters worked on this. Okay. So maybe... Anyway.

Talk radio is also a good movie, but anyway, go on. Anyway, so they're having a big argument now. Again, in front of the fucking guys. Doing what they were told not to do. Yeah, yeah. About whether or not to cause the nuclear holocaust or not. HoloCost. Yeah, yeah.

Just so, it is more fun when you say it like that. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Like, if I go, like, hey, guys, he's going to be nuclear holocaust. Why is you saying it like that? Get out of here. Well, Denzel, he said it was such... Yeah. Such passioning, like, I guess that's how you pronounce it.

That's how you pronounce it. I guess I've been a retard my whole life and saying it wrong. A holocaust retard. Yeah, yeah. I guess all those Jewish people have been saying it wrong. What do they know? Yeah, so, um, where I was like? So they're down to the debate, okay, and eventually Washington is like, you know what?

I'm taking over. Uh, and he says like, by subsection 6, 7, 9 of the Navy, uh, treaty, I am taking command of this vessel, uh, due to, um, you know, I feel like, um, I feel like, you are putting your officers in danger and the lives of other people. So I am, this is a mutiny. Right. Yeah,

okay. So Hackman's like, no, none of my people are going to do it. I'm all right, guys? Guys? And they're all like on wash it inside.

Because he's, he's friendlier to him. Yeah, he talks to him about silver surfer and stuff like that. You know, he bonded, he bonds with the people where Hackman just barks orders. Yeah,

and like puts dead fat guys in cupboards and say they deserve it. No, rub them up the wrong way. Yeah, okay. Yeah, my mother's a big fat guy. So, um, he's like, what's wrong with you? Put that man in jail at Hackman and they're like, sorry, sir, but you're going to have to go to your room. So they send him to his room with a little dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, ah, razzin, fazzin. Okay, so then he's in his room, okay? He's fucking angry. Sure, as you would be. he's shaking his face and he's like oh i'm gonna get you denzil washington so denzil washington is now he's focusing on getting contact back with like their world their base or whatever yeah yeah anyone to find out what's going on they don't know because they think like he maybe they're already fire nukes maybe maybe we're late yeah okay maybe the world's gone to shit we don't know

okay so they have an italian guy again the silver surfer guy he's an italian and he's like oh oh oh I can't fix the radio Oh, I can't get the radio Out here Oh, my wrong I want to listen to Howard Stern I'm not getting nothing It's fucking bullshit

I want to hear Jackie the joke man Hey, that Audi Lang He's a funny motherfucker all right So anyway, like he's like Panicking he's like I don't know what to do And like Denzel's like Hey, calm down, calm down

Do you ever see Star Trek? And he's like What are you talking about? He's like Star Trek, okay Remember Scott? remember beaming up scotty remember scotty

he never got stressed out he always kept calm even when the ship's getting fired on scotty always kept calm he did his job and he beamed him up and he goes like oh you're giving me confidence hey if that scotty motherfucker can do what I can do

you're right oh yeah so then he goes back to fixing the radio okay now oh I should also mention so Vigo Mortison Washington, their friends. How much time do you have? We're at 55 minutes.

Okay, this is perfect. You're now you're wrapping up, okay? Okay. So, Vigo's the guy in charge of pressing the final button. Right. So he's still hanging out there going like, guys, do I press it? Don't I? Yeah.

Do someone want to tell me what to do? Okay, I'll just wait here then. Yeah. So they're fixing the radio and like, oh, this is stressful. Guess what? Gandalfini, little snake. Oh, what's he? He's got fucking, he got hackmen out of it.

Hackman out. Okay. And Gandalfini, a bit like the snake in Adam and Eve, okay, he's been whispering a few people ears, being like, you know, you don't really believe this guy, do you? Yeah. You're not going to betray it. Hackman, are you? He's been a great captain, like, yeah, you're right. So now it's like Civil War. Okay, on the submarine. Yeah, where it's like, one side is yell and going,

we've got to fire the missiles. And the other side's like, no, we got to fix the radio. And they're like, fuck the radio. We've got to fire now. Okay. Okay. So it's all. kicks off, does it? Yeah, it's kicks off, okay. And Vigo's in the room going, like, so what do I do? And Hackman's like, do it!

And Washington's like, don't do it. It's like, oh. Yeah. Okay. So eventually they're like, the radio guy's like, okay, I'm just about, I should have it fixed in five minutes.

Yeah, yeah. And then Hackman and Washington are like, oh, I guess we can wait five minutes. Okay. they're sitting there then they sit down on chairs and they're like they're being so stressed

and angry at each other veins have been bulging out of their head and this is actually a nice scene I liked it where it's like a scene of them like they're not really talk

who's like yeah so I guess we're just waiting any plans for the weekend or I'm gonna take the kids so I hear you like go to kids parties man after my own heart and they have this scene as well

where like Hackman is still a little peeved off and he's like you know I love horses. I love he mentioned this type of horse like the Lambini horse. I love

the Lambrieney horse. They're good of taking orders. You know why? Because they're black. Oh, madone. Oh! You just called them a motherfucking beep! Oh, that's not right. We talk they hate you and our department. You're not allowed to do that anymore.

Yeah, it's sneaky racism. As if he'd be like, he won't know what I mean. You Lambrieney horse. I hate Black horses, Denzel. I hate them. I hate their big black horse cocks. It's not right.

It's unnatural. But he'd be like, I wasn't talking about black people. So, um... Right, right. So, um, Denzel's like, that's a bit fucked up. But then they get the radio call, okay? Okay.

It's a bit anti-climactic now. You get the radio call. And the guy's like, Hey, guess what? They said don't fire the missile. And then, you know, everyone's like, who, that was close. And Hackman's like,

I wonder if that Lambriony comment's going to come back to haunt me I got egg on my face Now We cut to This is the end basically Again it's kind of There's no If you

You could make more exciting Have like a fist fight at the end But I like the way it didn't do it Or like an arm wrestling match Yeah yeah Or Hackman going like Fuck it won't do it anyway Yeah

And just you know Charging at it and like you know They have to shoot him Hackman's got to shoot him like six times and like it's like platoon he's like no adadju for strings start playing

so next they're in like the have a tribunal okay a secret tribunal because they don't want the public find out about this right right right and the guy in charge

is like god damn I don't know who's worse the guy who tried to blow up the whole world or the guy who tried to stop him yeah because you didn't obey order

so you're just as bad worse yeah yeah and he's like you know what I can't really punish you because then people find out so it's just

I'm giving you a stern warning Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Then they walk out Of the courthouse Ever Hackman and Denzel And they're like That sure was crazy

You know Things get a little heated On a submarine But you know what can do And then Hackman goes like Yeah You know what I was wrong

And Denzel's like About what He goes Turns out those horses Were white Jesus Christ And he's like Denzo's like

I guess you're sorry And he's like Well I got to go now And a random sailor Brings his dog to him Kind of like a valley Okay He's been just holding the dog

So Hackman And he's wearing a sailor's uniform That's a little bit too tight Oh Yeah And he takes his little dog And he walks away And it is the gayest thing

Really in my imagination he's wearing shorts he's not actually wearing shorts he's wearing a little hot butt yeah ooh oh lax short shorts it's just like

it's just a funny I think it's because we've been so corrupted by jokes about the Navy the baby being gay yeah yeah yeah yeah it's just like the fact he's got a little dog

and he walks away like well goodbye and he walks away and Denzo's like yeah I don't have to see him anymore yeah and then the credits roll okay

yeah sounds like a weird movie now I've often heard about it but I never really heard that it was good or bad it just was like it's enjoyable to start and then near the end but there's a good long

space where it's like I guess we're on a submarine still I remember the Simpsons episode the way it ended was I would prosecute you but I've been implicated in the tail hook scandal and that's basically

I think one or all of the people on the tribunal at Homer's court case all say they've been implicated in the tailhook scandal do you know what that is? Essentially that was like a big there was like a big convention or conference or something like that

featuring a lot of like Navy and US military people in a hotel that basically broke out into a big drug-fueled orgy and there was like violent assaults and sexual assaults it was like a huge scandal huge scandal in like the 90s

Nice. Yeah. Just imagine Hackman there with a little dog. I forgot to mention like the dog they're constantly

doing reactions to the dog. Everyone's like why do you have a dog? No, no. I mean like, you know, like let's say like they're all shouting

so like this is going to be nuclear holocaust and it cuts the dog and like Rack Rook me a holocaust and like

any time like the ship like moves at all they cut to the room with dogs like yeah so the audience like I guess

this is bad people love dogs dog dog scared submarine danger Yeah, people love dog You can kill like a baby on screen And nobody gives a shit You kill a dog

Everyone's like Oh my God Same in real life Yes Same where I'm from That's why I'm not in Navy anymore You and your little shorts Going around

Strangling dogs Okay I think we're gonna end it there Yeah we'll end it there Because I'm sweating hungry Okay yeah Yeah Well that was a fun one That was a fun

Crimson Tide And talked a good bit About the Simpsons there too Yeah yeah It's fun Anyway that's the end Bye Bye.