Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 81 : Kamala Harris/Ricky Gervais/Irish Slave Owners

Episode Date: August 28, 2020

We talk the new possible vice president of america, David Brent Life on the Road and Hamilton Brown.

All right, we're going. We're going now, are we? Yeah, now we're going. I couldn't wait even a second. You were just like, hit the button. I was so ready to go. Yeah, yeah. The other way with the dogs, it's like dry hump in the air.

Like, that's the way I was like, fucking, let's just go. Let's go. I'm fucking hyped up because we did the Patreon episode there. Yeah, now I'm full of beans. Oh, God. Guys, if you're not paying for the Patreon episodes, you are a loser. You're missing out. You are missing out and so much there.

Yeah. Tell them what we talked about in the Patreon. Um, that Instagram model is sucking off seven lads from the Phoenix Sons Yeah A friend of Mine who sucked off

some gay guys Yeah She's a girl And she sucked off gay guys You know racial slurs Homophobic slurs Racist voices

We're talking about The Supreme We did it all We did it all We did it all We did it all Yeah I uh

You know what I said I said some things About Cardi B Yeah I said she was kind of dumb Yeah I take that back

Well I mean Your team Nicky Minaj Yeah They got they got beef. You know what?

In the Patreon episode you'll hear it myself you'll hear it yourself I mean I was talking

a little bit I was dissing Cardi a little bit and hey that's just how it works if you're just a big Nicky fan just can't help yourself

it's like the bloods and the crypts yeah yeah but look East Coast West Coast two pack or biggie and yeah

yeah you know I said she was a bit dumb but like that's just that was just that was just a heat in the moment the passion just going by statistics

there you know game game oh it's not it's not the Patreon episode Save that for the Patreon Hey if you pay If you pay for Patreon

I will read out the statistics Because I have them with me at all times You can hear James's He's written He's looked at all the papers What's the name of that guy There's a guy You know that kind of race science

Race science Yeah No what? Like phrenology Yeah no It's something like There is a group of people There's a group of people

Who are like No they do commit more crimes okay yeah and scientifically i should be you know allowed to uh there's even people that go even further that say oh they're you know people of certain ethnic ethnicities are like uh there's like a genetic predisposition or towards crime yeah yeah like they go insane with shit like that yeah no in their head like a black baby can rob a bank but a white baby uh you know can't even go into a bank yeah yeah so a white babies are going to be illegal soon.

With Kamala Harris in charge. Oh, that's right. Kamala, yeah, Big Dog. She's going to kill all the white babies. It's going to be like, yeah, what was it, in Egypt, kill all the firstborn white babies. First born, second born, doesn't matter.

Kill all those white bitches. Yeah, that's what's happening in America. Yeah, and it's serious. There's no satire at all. This is no joke. I am dead serious. Biden, Harris. Biden and Harris.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, That's going to win. Oh, 100%. Because Harris is a smart choice, because she appealed all the Republicans because she's tough on crime and she's a big of a cunt.

Yeah. And then obviously there is the woman of color aspect that will really... Yeah, so liberals will be like, hey, she's a black woman. I like the Wap video. You know, let's vote for her. Maybe I prefer Nicky Minaj to Cardi B, but that's immaterial. Obviously, I wish it was Biden and Menage.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, John. No. No. She doesn't talk like that. Doesn't talk like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that would be more fun.

But, like, yeah, Biden, Harris, obviously the best case scenario is they win. And during the inauguration speech, Harris just gets a sledgehammer and smash his Biden's head. Like, the piece is live on air and then goes like, we got a black bitch in a White House now,

motherfucker. And then she gets Jake Gyllenhaal, and Jake Jinnhal just licks her out. Yeah, look at this bad bitch. Yeah. I got Donnie Dorsey. I'm in charge now. This is all still in life TV.

Yeah. Yeah, so it is. It's definitely, it's a smart choice. Now, I really didn't know much about Kamala Harris before, you know, hearing that she was the pick for the vice president. But you're saying, like, she was a cop. Is that right? You see a cop?

No, not an actual cop. They say that shorthand. She was a lawyer and then she got like further up to six. system like a judge and district attorney district attorney stuff like that yeah yeah okay and she was known for being a motherfucking tough bitch hard on crime tough attorney yeah yeah uh district yeah so she was like real hard on crime uh sex workers don't like her because she was real tough on sex workers really yeah yeah she was like target going after the only fans models right it's like you bitch no back in the day she was like you got to go after sex workers they're worse than the johns

Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Targeting them. Also real against, but again, Republicans will love this. So she was against smoking weed.

Okay. But the argument is that as things went on, she progressed on these things. Or she got, she kind of eased up on them, got a bit more. Or if we're being honest here, she just was realized where the tide was turning.

Yeah. I was like, oh, I guess I'm not going to persecute. a black man for having $10 worth of weed in his pocket now because it's getting legal in states now. So she knew where the wind was turning. Well, yeah. Well, at least she's a bit more foresight,

a bit more, like she's a bit more clever than most politicians. So that's the only kind of good thing is if she does become president at some stage. Yeah. She'll kind of know like... So she's more competent to be duplicitous. Oh, good. That's what we need in the White House. More duplicitous competency. What people want, she'll just hide the corruption better.

Yeah. Instead of bragging about it on Twitter, like Trump, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very true. But wasn't she at one point, wasn't there like a very famous debate that she had against Biden where she was basically like, you're a rapist? Oh, no, racist. She didn't bring up rapist.

Did she not bring up the racist? No, no. So basically what happened is, so when Kamala was young, she was bust. Bust? Bust is a term they used to use for like, did bust black kids into white schools. Right, okay. Sorry. Yeah.

No, this is anti-segregation Yeah, but, you know, it's like a, you know, knock off from segregation Yeah, so they're like, okay, we've stopped segregation, but just still like, it's obviously we stop segregation, not like black kids or something like, well, let's go to the white schools. Come on in, buddy. Yeah,

yeah. And then Forrest Gump is there and, you know. Hello, Gamala. Yeah, yeah. So what they did was like, okay, we're just going to bus some black kids in. Yeah. We're just going to basically inject black kids into this white school

which some schools in Dublin could still use because I just heard in the radio there I was telling you there's a black there's a not black school there's a very private school in Dublin

very fancy school in Dublin posh school in Dublin and their teachers just got accused of racism multiple teachers the staff and the teachers know that okay so this school in Dublin

in 2020 just released a statement going like we are now banning the N word from class this is the one thing we never thought we'd have have to do yeah yeah yeah holy shit from now on nobody's allowed to say from now on during the

roll call i'll just say their names yeah happy okay does that solve the problem we ain't gonna see anymore oh oh nearly caught myself oh nearly did it again it's force a habit man it's just so fun to say yeah yeah yeah that's amazing now in what context where they like reading were they reading like huckleberry fin and using the word no no they were just like i think they specify what it is my yeah i think they were just like because i think like liberal white people do have some of them are so out of touch they are kind of like yeah man because i have watched roots yeah yeah i love spike at e and uh i have watched the thirteenth amendment on netflix so i can be like you're what up mapp yeah yeah man man i just love nelson mandela

beep nelson is map yeah yeah yeah yeah they just love it and they think it's no man i'm black no i'm part of the gang yeah yeah yeah i don't see Because I have listened to Run the Jewels So I can say it Well, only the white parts I don't like that other guy I have got the special edits Of Run the Jewel

Whereas just LP It's just the edits that I've done myself Run the Jules The Non-Killer Mike edition Run the Jules Not so fast Yeah Run the Jules but it's White Mike

White Mike So what I was talking about Oh yeah So they were busing her in Okay And at the time Biden was against busing Right

And well He was like It should be To the states To the side Okay And they were like No it should be

Mandated from the top You know Right And then he was like friends And like real Even like Recently he was like Hey there were great politicians

These guys who were like Actively against segregation Okay Oh no They were pro segregation I mean Oh okay He was just like

These were good guys And he's like From that stage Like yeah We disagree politically But hey he was fun at dinner parties yeah we disagree politically

but he held her down for me so he's alright he's a mean golf swing and he could swing that golf club right into a woman's pussy yeah right in the tarot reads punt right into her wet and gushy yeah yeah all right so she attacked him on that on stage on one of the debates okay

and now she's like uh oh it was just a debate man yeah yeah there is even that like she was interviewed on colbert recently yeah yeah and he was just like oh so you know that was uh you know you kind of went after real hard and now your friends how do you explain that she was as you said she was like hey it was a debate yeah you know i was just uh throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks yeah hey shit gets rough and tumbling debates yeah i mean you've done the roasts colbert right i'm like uh jeff ross i'm the post my roast master general

i'm like jeff ross i'm camala harris and i like to date 15 year olds allegedly well not even allegedly that's uh they've like yeah Well, we can go into that on the Patreon episode. Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Someone told me that, like, her, the dad of that girl who made the accusation. Accusations, like, her dad's, like, against her. Oh, really? Yeah.

Okay. Well, I think the accusation, she also kind of said that the dad pretty much allowed it to happen. Yeah, also, that girl was pro segregation. She was pro-business. Yeah, apparently, I would have believed. I think the dad was like, man, I love Jeff Ross. Yeah, he was real, like, Hollywood, wannabe. type, you know. Anyway, whatever.

Anyway, back to Kamala Harris. Yeah, okay. So, like, and now she's like, hey, obviously, like, even that question was prepared. And the DNC, like, were with Colbert. And, like, hey, ask her this question. You got to, like, but, like, give her. Yeah, but don't push her on it. Like, whatever she says, you just go, okay.

Okay, yeah, perfect. And move on, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, you know, ask her about her cooking. Right. You know, like, any recipes? Like, I did, I looked up Kamala Harris videos. Yeah.

And there's one video. of her it's a cooking tutorial with oh man what's the

name of the girl from the Mindy project Mindy Kaling Mindy Kaling that's it yeah

yeah and it's literally just them going like so how do you cook because she's half Indian

yeah yeah Camala is yeah yeah half Indian half Jamaican I think

oh so and we're going to her Jamaican history in a minute yes yeah

it's just about like so how do you cook oh this is how I cook and it's weird

because all the comments are like that's so really yeah because it's all indian people and i i found out indian people are like irish people were they're kind of like desperate for you know they just love when there was just like uh somebody who's indian yeah yeah because you know about irish people are like ha jes he's drinking a pint of guinness

oh that's so irish jesus he loved the guineas so indian people are the same were like oh the curry ah jaz he loves you a bit of that curry don't me hey jaz you must be from knocking now or he you love that cardi duke and and even then like there's some stuff from minnie is like so should i call you like senator or kamala and kamala's like just call me kamala and in the comments are like that's so indian asking people what to call them that's so indian call me by your name so indian well not like that though yeah we don't like that indian army hammer uh but like yeah and even like to use a chopping board that's so indian so indian yeah use it to chop off somebody's hand yeah that's not indian

Is it a? No. Racism? That's Saudi Arabia. Is it? It is? India wouldn't do that. Wow.

That remains to be seen. I've got statistics. Independent research. Don't make me pull out the statistics, Brian. Yeah. If you're going to be racist, be right. No, no. Even stuff like, you know, she used a chopping board.

She cares about hygiene. That's so Indian. Okay. Right, right, right. But anyway, yeah, Kamala will be an interesting choice. I'd rather her be president than what's his name, Osama, or fucking Biden. Biden. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, he just, you know. his mental state is deteriorating rapidly. Yeah, just get him over the finish line. Yeah. Like, fucking, um, that's what they are probably hoping.

Like, get him into office and hopefully he has a stroke in the first week. Be so annoying. Well, he's so annoying, Biden is he probably will live for eight years and constantly call her fucking, um, different,

like Samuel Jackson. Call her a different name every time he sees it. Yeah, yeah. Hey Mandela. My name's Kamala. My name's Kamala. Weren't you the one in the back of the bob sled and cool running?

No. Okay Most John Candy like in real life He thinks she's John Candy He thinks she's John Candy He'll hear I'm get on up It's vice president time Cool running

This episode is very racist By our standards Yeah Let's talk about You know what Let's talk with slaves Let's do it Finally

So the big thing I noticed With Kamala Okay And this is interesting Okay Yeah So her father Camala Harris's father

claims that he's descendant from an an enthrum slave owner Anandrums as in from Ireland?

Yeah yeah an Irish slave owner Wow So apparently it was His Irish slave owner And Jesus He loves Guinness Kamala Harris

His dad loves Guinness Ah sure He's one of the lands You're the Barack Obama Plaza We're building one for him It's a super max Yeah So his name was Hamilton Brown

He was white Okay Hamilton Brown and this is true now he owned loads of slaves in Jamaica he's one of the biggest slave owners

in Jamaica So he was a guy from Antrum who went over to Jamaica and owned slaves Yeah yeah Right right right Apparently made a little bit of money

from inheritance He was like What am I going to invest us in Right Jamaican slaves Apparently when I think the UK owned Jamaica at the time

Okay It was part of like The Commonwealth I think so Whatever reason okay He basically lost the slaves Now that might be because they made slavery illegal

or because of bad investments so what he tried to do is get Irish people over and then the Irish people have to be like oh you just wants us to be like he was like come over we won't pay

or anything and I'll whip you Ah just come on over here for a bit of crack will you you love it lovely and sunny out here great dry and weather you can hang the clothes out

any time of the day yeah the rags I give you but apparently he was trying enslave Irish people after that and then they caught him straight away because Irish people

they know I'm not falling for that we don't play that shit yeah yeah So anyway, Kamala's dad was like, I'm descendant from an Irish slave owner. Okay. So you hear that and you immediately assume rape. You know what I mean?

Sure, yeah. Okay. But the right wing we're trying to use this as like, ah, look, she comes from slave-owning families. Her family-owned slaves. That's what the right wing were saying. Okay. Yeah. And were they saying it in a negative or positive light? Yeah, they're

confused. Yeah. Oh, she's bad because she owned slaves Wade. What are my values? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, she's pretty cool. Vote Kamala. Yes, Queen. Even Trump was like, Mike Pence, get out of here. This broad's all right.

Let me tell you. You see Trump, even yesterday, tweeted like Kamala Harris. I welcome seeing you in the field of battle. Oh, really? Yeah, it's proper medieval in his head. Damn, yeah, yeah. So anyway, so the right wing went after Kamala after this, and then someone did some research.

Turns out that dad just didn't do any research Okay The dad was just like Ah no we probably are descended from slaves Yeah From slave owners okay And people are like

All your research you did was wrong And he was like ash Yeah That well Yeah Yeah So Kamala might not be Related slave owners after all

That's a shame Yeah so Wow That's she's not going to get Republican vote now Yeah so what's your What's your opinion Of Kamala Harris

I think she's better than Biden And if she became president wouldn't be the worst thing because again because she's kind of like she's pretty sharp like she's competent at least she won't be tweeting that much and she has changed a lot since back in the day and I think liberals can bully her enough to like get some obviously she's not going to do anything meaningful

like healthcare and she probably is more her and Biden are more pro war than Trump in a lot of ways like yeah like that was like John Bolton he was like one of the Trump guys who left or got fired right his big complaint about Trump was that like he'd always be trying to get Trump to go to war and do like military intervention and Trump was like

yeah just be bad bad for ratings yeah yeah yeah he's not wrong yeah so I definitely could see like like Biden and Harris would definitely be more in favor of like tackle strikes and like going into a country to like free them yeah you know I'm using quotation marks

free them you know we gotta bring democracy this country and like you know we got you know kill everyone in Venezuela just in case just in case yeah yeah um so Yeah, it'll be funny I really want to see Biden die

I want to see Trump sad And Trump will pick up a real fuss About this and there will probably be riots Yeah To be white lives matter rallies in the streets All lives matter is not what they call themselves No white lives And yeah

I don't And you're crazy We won't find out the results for like a week Because it's like that male or like They're doing it by post So that's going to cause even more Like Trump's going to be like time to be a postman, huh?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, some people are like, I'm going to suck you off because you're so brave. The liberals are like, I'm going to suck you in a best. It's like, after 9-11, all the firefighters, that's what postmen are going to be like. Yeah, yeah. Hey, baby, I work for the post office. Oh, my God. All the cops have to pretend to be postmen.

Yeah. Yeah, so I was doing some research on Kamala, trying to find some dirt on her, okay, or anything kind of, like, interesting at all? Trump's payroll. He's got, get blind on the case. Yeah. You're real. This is a bit fun now, okay? Now, I'm going to say to the Sien that you have to not make a joke, okay? I think I can do that.

No, don't make a joke, okay? I didn't. Don't be smiling around you, okay? I'm not smiling. So, Kamala will go against corruption, okay? Okay. And she went against this one guy who was accused of corruption. Okay. His name was Ed Jew, and he was Chinese.

He's a Chinese man called Ed Jew. well yeah family name that's interesting yeah you don't usually uh ed and how is that spelled j e w j e w yeah not even j u and you like oh it's a chinese oh it's his name was ed jew and he was chinese ed jew and he was chinese and what uh he wasn't um what was his corruption charges was yeah corruption charges financial yeah hmm well there you go interesting uh nothing uh nothing numerous about that exactly moving on so Ed Jew

yeah it's weird Shane Gillis I'm sure had something to say you know what's so funny though definitely at the time

because racism way more acceptable Leno and then would definitely do like good Jew just call him

Ed you know and people would laugh and everyone would go really it's like they tried to circumcise

them but his dick was too small if you wanted to go really racist yeah and you would be

able to say that on late night TV back in the day people like who that's a Carson joke right there Yeah yeah

So yeah I don't know There's not much about Kamala Harris She's pretty boring woman Everyone loves her husband They say her husband is hot Oh really? Yeah yeah

Do you want to see her husband Yeah go on show me a picture She's not a bad looking woman I suppose No not at all like yeah Almost as sexy as Biden Ooh Yeah yeah Let me look up now

People are kind of clutching a straws They're like Yeah has there been any like where's her birth certificate or anything like that? 100%. Yeah, yeah. Trump himself has said she can't be president. Oh, really? Yeah, because, you know, she's from...

Her parents are immigrants and he's like, I'm pretty sure... And he's just coming up with stuff on top of his head. He's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure if your parents are immigrants, you can't be president. People are like, you can. Uh, check that again. Well, we'll check on that.

Yeah, yeah, that's how he does. It's like, we'll check. I don't know. We'll check. Can a person immigrants be president, parent immigrants? Yeah. Who knows? Well, we'll be.

better check on that you say one thing I say something else we'll check on it and we'll get back to our opinions he's very good at deflecting

I don't think there's ever been a better deflector in US presidential history just like well we'll check on that and we'll come back

to it next question please okay that's her husband that's her husband yeah and people he's not that good looking

and people write in articles being like is it okay to be creaming over Kamala Harris really shall wait let me see him again

yeah no look hey they are like that is a DILF. He's not a bad looking man, but I wouldn't be. There's articles in the Guardian

about how much of a Dillf he is. And how much, like, you know, I'm a strong, confident woman, but when I see Camela Harris's husband, I just want to get tied up and whipped. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Wow. Douglas, listen to this, Douglas Mhoff, he's Jewish. His name should be Douglas Chinese.

See, we brought it back. There you go. Callbacks for professionals. Yeah, yeah. Now, that's how you do a joke. That's the craft right there. Oh, I can't wait till gigs are back.

Poetry in motions. I can't wait till gigs are back and I can say that joke with no context. Douglas Mhoff should be called Douglas Chinese. And then like the Joker, I'm like, it doesn't work. You just started laughing hysterically. And then what's his name?

De Niro plays that on his show. Fallon just plays it. Yeah, yeah. Who's laughing now? Does he call him Douglas Chinese? Who's laughing now? You get what you fucking deserve

And then you just shoot a Chinese guy No, I think it's a Chinese guy Andrew Yang's backstage And you just go back And you just go back and shoot him You get what you fucking deserve Yeah

Then I get to go And Shane Gillis to show Leisure to Skags Yeah No, actually I have mad respect For Andrew Yang He was the one person

He was like Obviously like He didn't say shit No he was like Shane Gillis shouldn't lose S&L over this Oh really? Yeah

Andrew Yang's got balls I wouldn't shoot him Okay Yeah In fact I shoot myself and the George You know actually I'm not talking shit now

but Maeve Higgins Oh yeah Yeah yeah He was a comedian Irish comedian Yeah yeah She wrote an article In like some New York

newspaper Yeah About how much like Oh Shane Gillis is a bad Shane Gillis is a bad man Okay Uh bad man

Yeah yeah She was like Obviously This shouldn't be allowed This is not what comedy is Okay Right right right Comedy is about

fighting, you know, putting truth to power. And let me just say, I don't approve with that, I run a night myself, a weekly night in New York, and we have black people on, okay? And trans people on, okay? And

Chinese people on, and Jewish people on. We are open and inclusive. In fact, we had Rye Wood Jr. on recently, okay? Yeah. Who's a black? Okay. And we had him headline, and he talked about how

racism was bad, and it was beautiful. And now, Roy Wood Jr. is paling around with Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis and Ari Shafir and that whole gang, yeah. Yeah, because he's funny, and he respects funny people. He endorsed Ari Shafir for president. Yeah. Did endorse Maeve Higgins for president. There you go. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Coincidence? Is Maeve Higgins going to be the president of the skanktopia?

So, I would say now, if anyone is listening, buy Maeve Higgins book on Amazon, full price, and burn it. Burn it. Yeah. Buy multiple books of hers in Amazon, again, full price. Yeah. Or your local bookstore and burn it. Burn them all.

Yeah. Just a sure. Yeah, that'll show her. Yeah. I mean, she's still winning because you bought her book. She gets the money anyway. Yeah, but you've burnt it. So Amazon doesn't get the profits then.

That's how it works. Okay, yeah. That's money out of Bezos's pocket. If you buy a book and burn it, the money goes back to it. Yeah. I think. Okay. And does that still work with a Kindle then?

What happens with a Kindle? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to throw it in the sea. If you... I don't know. What are we talking about? We're talking about Kamala. But there's not really much to say about her. Yeah, there's not much to say.

She'll appeal to, like, the Republicans. Yeah. Look, and she's going to win. I hope she's got... Literally, I do honestly hope she comes president. Yeah. I think so, too. I mean, look, the weird social experiment of Trump needs to end.

And then we're going to have awful white women being like, Kamala Harris is president now, and I helped. Yeah, yeah. I help because I shared a meme on Instagram. So I fought as well. Like Nelson Mandela, I fought. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But she's only going to be vice president. For now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is definitely, out of all the presidential elections, this is the vice that means something. Yeah, that's true. Remember Tim Kane? No.

He was Hillary's voice. Okay. No one remembers him. No, I don't remember him. I only remember him because, listen to this, this and try and not get sick, okay? so fucking Hamilton

that guy okay Hamilton Hamilton Brown no that's what the musical Hamilton's about

I gotta own these Jamaican slaves I'm over here in Jamaica I'm a Jamaican it great again yeah let's do that

let's do our own Broadway show Hamilton yeah it's about a brave man for Antrim who goes over and conquers

the savage beast So Jamaica. They're all like, you can't You can't, oh no, Northern Ireland, you can't do that, you can't own slaves. I'll show you I'll own all the slaves. Hey man, this crazy white boy Hey Irish, what you doing, man? But because it's like Us and I'm a racist, it's like the slaves

are like, you've taught us how to talk properly. I don't smoke gansh any more. Thanks to you, Hamilton. I smoke rollies now. I smoke rollies. I train gamberleaf and I hit my wife twice as much thank you very much Hamilton you taught us how to do eat battered sausages battered sausage in Jamaica

is there nothing better what we're talking about so Lynn Manuel Miranda he did a Hillary Clinton rap about how great Hillary Clinton is cancer and AIDS in it he literally says yeah and Tim Tim Keene Tim Keene in the member

brain yeah fuck you and that's why she lost yeah that's literally why she lost

oh yeah let's talk let's stop talking about politics I hope Camala I hope Camala secretly

kills much like Macbeth I hope she see I hope her husband's like do it Camala do it do it

kill him and you know Camela stabs Biden in the chest out damn spot yeah

I am so far in blood there's no turning back yeah yeah I hope that happens yeah

yeah Hope Lord, she just fucking slits his troll Right down, yeah, yeah And her and the DILF Start banging in the Oval Office They let them bleed out Then like he's a halal meal Muslim can eat Joe Biden

He just gets served in kebabs Okay, let's talk about something fun, okay? So in last episode We're talking about the Patreon episode Okay, we're talking about two points of lager In a Pack of the Crisps Yes, seminal piece of British comedy And it got me into more

grimy and I mean grime in the bad way not stormsy okay not wily okay grimesy I mean I mean dirty filthy British comedies okay scummy British comedies that are meant to be sexy

we just end up feeling like okay what is this okay like footballer's wife yes you remember that oh yeah yeah or remember dream team no I don't remember that dream team was great it was like I think it was like a daily

it was like Sky One's attempt to do like neighbors about a football club okay and like anything else okay starts off as like a regular show

about football club and as it goes on they're like what do next so we had they had like a bus blow up oh okay

they had like one guy got killed this one guy got killed because he fell backwards someone pushed him fell backwards and his head

went into a coat hook oh yeah yeah and he died that yeah and then there was one episode

remember where like there was a sniper at the football game what the fuck yeah because

if burn the FC don't win I'm gonna fucking shoot somebody. I think the manager got involved with some bad bad guys and like the manager got involved in the British

Mafia, like the craze, okay? Then they had a sniper during the football game and that's how the end, the episode ended with him like he's like trying to get the guy the player. Yeah. But I think he accidentally shoots the manager's wife or something like that.

Oh, Blade Nelt. Yeah. So anyway, show I remember watching years ago was a show called mile high mile high it lasted I think

two or three seasons all right and it was a show about sexy sexy sexy sexy

sexy people we're talking flight attendants oh right we're talking to people who own the airline the pilots

okay everyone was sexy in the show the passengers okay and this was like comedy drama that's what I

was aiming for okay right it was raunchy was it oh I mean full tits so let's see

this is an episode okay yeah This is how an episode goes. Yeah. We opened. The plane is just on the tarmac. It's not moving anything.

There's a girl sunbating on the wing. Tits full out. What? Yeah, okay. Now that has to be against FAA regulations, surely. Well, especially after 9-11. This is, is this? Yeah, I was going to ask.

It's pre-9-11. Pre-9-11, of course it is. This is what is fun, you know? Osama bin Laden was a big fan of my life. Yeah, yeah. He was just bashing away in the cave. Oh, I've got an idea So it's a girl in the wing, okay

Full tits out Okay Letting the sun Getting all that sun cancer Okay Nice titties Oh yeah I think they're fakes

Okay And everyone else Is just chilling in the plane Okay Right You know they're all just like And eating And drinking lager

And stuff like this Okay Yeah And drinking lager And not even like You know Gin Not even like whiskey

It's like Yeah Fucking Fucking Carpacky Okay And then like The pilot

goes to one the other girls okay he's like oh I bet you won't go out in the wing wouldn't you

bet you won't get naked and she's like I'll leave it out I'm not going to do that I bet you know what

I bet you 50 quid you won't get your tits out I'll take you up on that bit okay she takes her clothes

off gets out in the wing and he's like oh hey best 50 quid I ever spent okay okay so this

obviously these are all people that work at the airline yeah the girls they're all flight attendants. Yeah, they're flight attendants

and pilots. This isn't just a whack. There's somebody in the back's like, when are we going to take off? I am very, you know, I've got a business meeting in Shanghai that I need to get to. It's like a woman holding the baby, like excuse me, we're, weh,

this is like a couple of lads in like robes and turbans. When will we take a flight? No, I don't know. Racist again. Oh, man. Yeah, man, I'm from county Antrimanty, jakeet me blood. Okay, so the episode goes along, okay, the airlines, it's a little small airline, a little independent, kind of clerks, you know, a little small independent airline, okay? They're bought up by these mean, stuck up Americans, okay?

And the girls prop are like, I don't want any more fun going on on this airline, you got to be professional, buddy, okay, like that, okay? They're like, oh, we'll show you professional. So one of the pilots has an idea for, like, a nude calendar. Okay So it's like Of all the flight attendants Yeah Okay

And the flight attendants like Yeah Do it Let's do it Yeah Let me get my tits Ah show the lads Okay

And then like the airline The American woman Who owns like No way This is a respectable airline Okay There'll be no nudity here What was there

Actually Why were they Was it like for charity Or was it just like Just for promotion Oh okay Right Not for charity

Not for charity Definitely not I'm going to get me Teets out for spastics. Yeah. Okay. So what they do is they go on a flight and some funny stuff happens.

All the funny stuff that happens always like a pastor going like, ooh, you got something in your pocket for me. Or maybe I do. Oh, going down. Maybe we'll go into the bathroom

and have a bit of a bumpy flight. Yeah. It's just all that. And by the way This whole show is edited There's not It's so OCD Not OCD

ADD attention deficit disorder Oh it's very like It's quick cuts all the time It's not a single second of silence Like, hey all And every time they call It's like Chh-ch-ch-ch-bill

Or this music It's like real like Real hyper Okay Right right Kind of like Nathan Barley Yeah but without the satire Without the satire

Nathan Barley Brooker and Morris definitely saw this I'm like, oh, okay, yeah. So anyway, what they do is they fly to somewhere fancy, like a beach or something like that, and they have a party in a hotel. And when I say a party, I mean, like, they're drinking lager again, and like

one of the girls on top of a guy, there's a guy walking around like a dog and the girls on top waving her t-shirt around. I what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're like, fuck it, let's take the pictures now, let's take the pictures now, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they take pictures of the girls, okay?

and make the calendar it's a huge success and then the American business woman who owns it is like God damn it I hate to admit

I'm wrong you know we don't want to be seen as prude so hey I'm watching you but then you can tell us like a bit of sexual

attention between her and the pilot I'm watching you and I'll always be on top of you oh I'm gonna ride you hard yeah yeah

it's all stuff like that it's so trashy right and it always ends on the cliffhanger of like um you know oh well busy day i'm gonna go back and have a hot date with sandra okay no that wouldn't be sandra what was like fucking nancy okay like that right yeah okay we're gonna have a hot date with nancy like nancy what are you doing here with james oh and then like you know to be continued right okay yeah yeah it was always something like that and it's so fun were there any like recognizable actors in it did you know No. Not a single person.

Right, okay. Not a single. It's actually weird how like something, a British show, you think you get some British character actors? Yeah. No one. I think everyone was like, bleh. And all the people, all the actors aren't actually like proper actors. They're all like, you know, like, oh, she was on page three.

Yeah, she's from Nuts magazine. Yeah. Or like, oh, he was fucking, uh, he was nearly a footballer. Yeah. Let's get him on, you know, like that. But here's the thing, okay. Halfway through production and the seasons would be like 22 episodes. It's weird for like a British show.

Yeah. They were like a pumping them out. But halfway, so Sky were like Make a sexier, more tits, more tits, more tits. But then Sky changed ownership. Okay. And then halfway two, they were like, what's this? Less tits, less tits, okay?

Yeah, this is actually what happened in the show was like some stuffy owner comes in, is like, what, what, what? But in real life they didn't like just put more tits in Sky. He's like, oh, God damn it, I'm going to be on top of you. Like, you get results. Yeah, yeah. So what they did was like,

they had a lot of arguments with the bosses about the sexiness. Okay. And eventually like, fucker, we're going to end it on our terms. Right. Okay. So, this is the final episode.

Final episode ends with them in a pub. Okay, some of the, like, let's say there's six cast members. Yeah. Ends with, like, two of them in a pub going like, oh, I can't believe that happened. Yeah, I can't believe that happened. Flashback.

Okay. And we follow the final days of the airline. So what happens is, is the main pilot is under pressure, okay? Heart attack, mid-flight. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think something else happens.

The co-pilot, I think, knocks his head or something like that. So the flight attendant's got land the plane. Oh, my God. They do it badly and, like, multiple people die. Like, a couple of passengers, like, they die, okay? Yeah. And then we cut back, it turns out, like, the people, the survivors got, like, severance. So they started their own pub.

And it's called Mile High. Oh, fuck off. Yeah, and it ends like that. Ugh. Yeah. That's awful. No tits. No tits?

Yeah. Should have had one final tit. Just one tit. Just a flash of a tit. You know what? It should have been, as the flight's going down for last time, before the crash, one of the girls like, fuck it. And runs out into the wing where tits out. You know, get a little bit of a tan.

And then the pilot wakes up. Best 50 quid I ever spent. Yeah. There's all a ruse. I'm not even really up. Just have one final honk on our tits. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God.

So that's a mile high. Oh. It's very fun to watch. It's all on YouTube. It does remind me of a footballer's wives, and it was just all about that. They were just about the wives and girlfriends of footballers, and there was all affairs and punch-ups and tits. Like, it was basically soft-core porn. Now, did footballers' wives have tits?

Yeah, definitely a tits. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember sex on the job? No, I don't remember that. Sex and the job. I don't think it lasted. very long. We're on Sky 1. Sky 1 for a while

was like, we're smut. Yeah. I'm proud of it, okay? A lot of, like, you know, it was kind of a lot of TV channels you know, late night programming you were sort of guaranteed like raunchy. Like, I'm talking like late 90s, early 2000s, you know, footballers' wives. And then Euro trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's funny because now Sky 1 are trying to be like, we're a family channel. And like, now trolleys or like fucking cafe, step. like these real gentle comedies it's like oh Margaret

because it's only old people to watch TV yeah yeah so now it's all this like show is like oh Margaret

like I'm 89 years old bug or crush on David yeah he's 16 he's all right

Joe she is it is only as young as you feel yeah get on the wing yeah so that's it now

where do you want to go and what time what are we at now? What are we at here? 40 minutes. Okay, let's not, let's not do, I'll tell you what, for the last little bit, let's talk about, let's talk about. Life on the Road. Oh, the, uh, David Brent, Ricky Jervais. Life on the Road. Yeah. Now, I was going to do a full episode on this, but we're not going to get

out of it. Yeah, I don't, so yeah, Fraynor and it does know this is the movie that got made like, what, 15 years after the office or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, 2016. And it follows the character of David Brent Yeah And this is not a good film No it's not So bad Which is annoying

Because there is like Every now and again There'll be a little funny thing in it But it's all like The subtle stuff Yeah But everything else is like

There's no subtlety in it at all Yeah It's like nonstop Like Oh Racist Oh Black man

Huh Yeah A woman I wouldn't want to rape her Huh Like there's no Like The funny thing about the office was

he's the boss and the people have to like kind of deal with him a little bit and he's playing up to the camera but David Brent was still like a human being yeah this he's not a human being he's just a guy who like

makes everything awkward yeah and if everything's awkward nothing's awkward right okay I get you yeah yeah yeah there's no real what's the word

there's no real dramatic tension in it because there's really nothing on the line yeah now here's the thing that annoyed me so much okay so the film starts off and David Brent is working in a company. He's not, he's not a manager anymore. And he's so

fucking annoying where he's literally like, remember he has a friend? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. He's a friend, I think the friend's called like Nile or something like that. Yeah. So him and Nile literally like walk around the office. This is an office people trying to be on the phone, okay? And they're trying to be all goofy and wacky.

Not even being goofy. You got like air horns and Maracas. Okay. And fucking Nile's like a penis nose. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. And fucking David is doing like a Chinese

Impressed the Chinese people Okay like Oh I'm holy fuck Oh Okay like that all right Racist voices Yeah Bottom of the barrel

Who do you think he is fucking He's doing a fucking EJew impression Okay Why am I Eda Jew? Yeah Okay like that

And though There's one woman in the office Who's like I like David He's kind of like charming Yeah Yeah

Even though he acts like a mentally ill child. And there's one guy in the office, I think his name's Bresa. Yeah, and he's like, shut up. And he's a villain in it. Yeah. Because these lads are like running around with air horns and moroccas and Bres, he's like, here, just shut up with you. I'm trying to do some work.

He's like, oh, you're a villain, you're a bad man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't understand the comedy. So, and even like the fucking, there's like, um, and this is like such, ugh, there's like a respect. in it who's like some way you know she's not white anyway okay okay and she's like you know she's like not see David

he puts he smiles but I see behind the smile he has to be protected like him and Nile are full on retardes okay and they're like oh it's like

we're supposed to some way have some kind of like care about David Brent in some way yeah even though like he seems to have a pretty good job okay and his house he's house at one stage

and it's big nice house yeah and the joke is that he's starting up his band okay

and he's going on tour and it's cost him of money yeah at the end of the film we find out that like

he's like oh yeah if we just work Saturdays for a few months I can go on tour again so it's like

oh it's not really that big of loss at all yeah he's obviously earning a lot of money yeah

yeah so I'm okay so how why are you supposed to root for this guy

yeah well I suppose the theory is that there's there is because the office is seminal and then he just pisses on that like kind of goodwill

and also he doesn't have any reference to like any of the characters on the office there's no like you said that because it's probably because the BBC own the rights to the show I'm just speculating or Stephen Merchant

though in some of it maybe yeah I think he probably more so was like oh I'm going to do this without merchant so I'm going to do it without any of the original content kind of to show I can still make this good without you. I don't need you.

But there's so little story. Yeah. So much of it is just like, uh, gig, gig, gig, and a little bits in between. Yeah. It feels like, it feels like, if I had to like justify this at all and trying to make sense out of it, it feels like this started off as like, Dricky Jervais going like, I want to film a concert gig. Yeah. Okay. Of me just doing these songs of written. Yeah. Yeah. Then it was like, okay, I'll do a little bit at the start and a little bit at the end of

story. Right. I was like, actually, it got bigger and bigger. It's like, I'll do a little scene between the gigs. Okay, and he was like, actually, that makes it as a film. So it doesn't feel like a natural story. It just feels like, oh, it's just things happen. To be honest, though, you have to imagine that, like, ever since the office ended, he has just gotten nonstop, like, pressure from people or, like, just like, here, please do

something, do David Brent again. We'll just give you loads of money. Please do it. Please do it. And eventually he just relented It's like, right, I'll just churn this out And it'll earn me a big chunk of money It didn't though

It was boxed off his bomb Oh really? Yeah, and it was funny He left it too long Because if he'd done it like Let's say after extras, okay Yeah, maybe around like 2008 or something Yeah, he's like you know what?

Brent's back It would have been a huge release And it would have been like in America and stuff like that Yeah But because he waited until like After special correspondence Derek

Life's too short After these very public failures It was a Netflix film It did with Netflix and some other company There's product placement through the whole thing So there's probably trouble with budget Remember the cost of placement? No

Man, he literally I've only I only watched it once And it was like kind of I didn't even It was on TV and I was just sort of flicking back and forth And I was kind of like I was just sort of like I yeah that's funny enough That's all right I didn't really Should have pay attention to it more

Okay Yeah, sorry He won the songs He mentioned the Costa He is drinking a big Costa cup During many scenes Okay At the end of the film

Swear to God He goes like You want to get a coffee I got a Costa card One free And he literally holds the card Up to the camera Right up to his eye level

Yeah Costa cards But like I mean I'm kind of at this point Like I don't Who cares about product placement You know what I mean

I know but like Ooh the advertisers Well wake up I'm not being like This is the world we live in Oh no I'm not being like fuck the man Ricky Jervais is finally sold out

I'm not like that I'm just like it obviously I just don't even it doesn't even like you know it doesn't even register with me anymore because like well this is just such a done thing

it's really the fact he was like cost a card one free it's great yeah okay but that just shows like he wasn't getting money thrown at him right okay

right yeah okay that makes sense so anyway like the point the film is and everything in this film feels like a deleted scene as well okay So in the film, David Brent, he takes some time off work.

Yeah. Which doesn't seem to be any kind of big sacrifice at all. Yeah. To have a band. And he pays for the band. Yeah, he hires like session musicians. He hires like seven of them, okay? That's big money.

Yeah. And the tour bus for him as well. Yeah. But he's not allowed to ride the tour bus. Yeah. And they won't let him drink with them. Yeah. They won't let him do anything.

He actually once says he pays them to drink with them. Yeah. He gives them 25 pound each and pays their drinks for an hour of their time. It is very... Okay, so that's like, okay, they're mean to him. Yeah. In the story. We'll get back to him a second, okay?

He also has Doc Brown, okay? Doc Brown, a rapper. Yeah, comedian. Yeah, I forget his real name, but his sister is a... I think he does go by Doc Brown, though, like even... That's his rap name. Yeah, but even, like, as a comedian, like, I've seen him on, like, Russell Howard's... Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that, but he also does, like, serious acting.

Okay. He was on, like, law and order. UK and stuff like that big big stuff he actually swear true now he was second for the new Han Solo film to play Lando oh really and then that fucking cunt guy

Donald Glover was he ever done name nine impressive things he's done I genuinely think he's like the most talented person in the world what he wrote for 30 Rock when he was like 18 and then did who is

America this is America and community and Atlanta and childish Gambino and it's just it's absurd Yeah It's absurd Her television

An animated film with Rihanna Am I supposed to be impressed Donald Get out Get out in my shop You weren't You get out my stuff Yeah

Well literally is like You're in community Six Get out Yeah He was also in a sketch show called Derek That was great

Oh was it Yeah I never Well you know Why would Where is he now Yeah He's no doc bro

Yeah Does he have a pod podcast. Was he in a movie with Ricky Jervais? Yeah, man. So, yeah, he was second to be in Landowners. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I feel like Doc Brown, I feel like should get reparations from Ricky Jervais.

Interesting choice of work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But imagine he's like, oh, I got a Ricky Jervais film. This is great. Yeah, yeah. And it's a huge bomb. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like bad with critics and audiences. Yeah. It should be like, come on, Ricky. Ricky, yeah. Come on. Pay up. Yeah. Okay.

give me reparations just for him now no one else I didn't land on David Brett David Brent landed on me so anyway so Doc Brown in it is just take shit

from David the whole time where David's like oh black black my black friend black yeah you know I like smoking weed he likes it you know

yeah yeah literally one bit he goes like yeah and he's half as well yeah white mother black father and Doc Brown's like oh no it's the way around

even better but he's saying this out loud in public and Doc Brown's like yeah okay and they say that like he's like the manager but like he's treated like such shit I don't think any black man

would actually put up with this yeah well I think the whole time it's sort of like and I have been around these people where like they say the wrong thing all the time but you can tell that they're such fucking idiots that you just sort of roll your eyes

because it'd be a waste of energy to try and get into it with them I know, it was just like with you but when it's out in public and he's like he's, I don't know, it's like, and it's constant and you're fucking touring with him.

Yeah. Literally at one stage, Ricky Jervais says the N-word five times. You were counting. Yeah, yeah, I was. He just had a little abacus beside you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I need the abacus. I can't count regular. My N-word abacus. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's one bit where he's drunk, he's like, you'll call me your beep, call me your beep. Oh yeah, and Doc's, all right, stop. Yeah, Doc's like, don't say that you're getting trouble.

Well, in any real world, a black man, even just a little bit like, he's shut up, like, even just like, shut up, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, just like, oh, don't say that, David, you beautiful, misunderstood creature. I see behind your smile, the sadness in your eyes. Okay, yeah. So, they're doing these shows, and they're all shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, low attendance. they failed and Rick and Jervais is constantly being like

his uncle's a rapist I wouldn't rape myself it's like constantly like that like oh a black woman I wouldn't rape a black woman or a white woman either unless he wants it wouldn't be raped it it's like this fucking mong okay just like they should be shot

okay yeah yeah yeah and then like there's one scene in there where he gets a tattoo and he passes out and like nothing funny happens. Right, right. And the joke is like he wants to get Berkshire tattoo in his arm. But he only gets Burke? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Well, Burke. That's what there is. Bulk. I could take it some funnier. You bleeding Burke. Like, literally be funnier if it was like too old to die young. He passed out and it was like too old. That would be way funnier. That would be funnier, actually. Yeah, you're right. Instead it's like he just passes out and also just like go finish off tattoo then. Yeah. That feels like

a really deleted scene. But anyway, okay. We're near the end of the film, all right? And the whole time The band are shit to him Yeah And everyone's mean to him Yeah And then near the end

He's like This is bad now It's all It's all gone to shit It's having to achieve My dreams at all And then like And he's like

We're going to do one final show It's a crew We're going to do a Christmas song Okay We're going to get fake snow Yeah Yeah Yeah

One of the guys in the band Is like Don't spend any more Don't spend any more And the fake snow David Tell you what Just

I won't take any more money Let's just do the gig And you know what David I'm your friend okay for no reason at all he hasn't done anything to show that like oh they're starting to respect each other

yeah yeah yeah it's just that he feels so bad for this obvious gobshyte retard so then they do the final show okay and there's fake snow and we found out

one of the band members like yeah I paid for it myself yeah money but at least he isn't paying for it anymore all right then at the end all the band members who we mean to him the whole film

just like have a drink with him like Who wouldn't even let him on the bus that he paid for, okay? Are now like, oh, David, you're a good crack. You skipped over that part, though, where he said, like, it gets real weird. It's like, yeah, it went on antidepressants,

gained a lot of weight, tried to kill myself, was institutionalized. Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, in a ward, voluntary. Didn't rape any patients. What is that? That's what he does. It's a whole, I, watch it again, you go notice it, every single,

it's like it's fucking fucking seagull like yeah the show like in some played off

for last was like yeah he did some time in a mental ward and the show like photoshop pictures of him

being fat really fat and like he tried to did he say he tried no no

okay I'm surprised didn't I got mental health issues ha yeah

yeah okay so yeah then like but again you don't feel anything for him yeah

yeah yeah see I really when I did see it had no I kind of knew it wasn't going to be good, you know? So let's just get to the end of it, okay?

All right. So he goes back to the office then, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is after his tour. His tour, yeah. Okay, and everyone's happy to see him for some reason, okay? And one of the girls who worked in the office is a crush on him. Right.

But even at the start of the film, the girl's like, hello, David. He's like, who are you? He was like, oh, David, I've driven you home. And he's like, oh, I've driven you home. And he's like, oh, I. I, no, you didn't drive me home. And he's like, yes, I have. He's like, you look a bit like my neighbor.

I am your neighbor. Like, oh, okay then, but like... What? Yeah. I don't remember that at all. Yeah, it's at the start. Okay. So the joke is that, like, David doesn't even know her,

even though he lives beside her and she's driven him home before, which is like, how self-centered, like, that's full on, like, Joe Biden, like, you know. Is this someone in that he, is this the girl that he works out that has a crush on him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, right, right, right. But the joke is that he doesn't, he doesn't, She lives opposite him or beside him And he doesn't recognise her even though she's driven him home

Jesus, yeah He's just like, all right Yeah, yeah, yeah But then at the end though, right He meets up with Nile again They're like, oh, holy fuck Where they're like got Moroccan stuff like that And the guy, the mean guy, Brez was like

Oh, shut up David How's your singing career and everyone laughs? Then the girl who likes David Gets a glass of water and throws it on him And like, stop being a bully Stop being a bully Let David do his holy fuck character And ruined the entire office

I do remember that bit When she throws the water out of him And then another girl there is like smiling Yeah yeah standing up for the big For the fucking Yeah Standing up for the racist man Okay

So then okay She goes like They've had buried any scenes together She goes like Oh I'm glad you're here David and I went to one of your gigs and I really liked it and he's like I didn't notice you

actually I'm going to get a coffee Costa, free one do you want to come with me and say yeah I will and then they walk off and then she holds his hand and then it ends yeah yeah that's the office

there is I actually think you should destroy the office now yeah you should kill fucking everyone involved in it this is kind of like kill Martin Freeman yeah

yeah it does kind of shit on the memory of the office, isn't it the legacy? I'll tell you what, most of the film I didn't even think that was David Brent. It just felt like Ricky Jervais. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's completely different. Like, you know, they're not in an office the whole time.

They're out on the road. Yeah. I mean, it is David Brent, life on the road. So it's just kind of like, yeah. I don't know. It's like one of those weird it's like when Drake and Josh go to Hollywood, you know, one of those like weird movies that's outside the realm of it.

Oh, no, there was something like Drake and Josh go to Hawaii or some bullshit. It's always weird when they would do that. So a lot of times you'd have like a sitcom set up. Yeah. And then the film, they're out in the real world. There's no laugh track. And like, this is wrong. I'm calling the police.

And then one of them gets up in some mischief. Yeah. Allegedly. Yeah, Drake and Josh guys. Remember, saved by the bell, the wedding? Yeah, well, yeah, vaguely. That was like that where it's shot like a fucking drama film, okay? Drake, like, saved by the bell.

Hawaii or whatever. No, one was the wedding and one was Hawaii, okay? Which was the wedding? The wedding was with the wedding. That was Zach Morris got married to Sheila, whatever fucking name was. Oh, Kelly?

Yeah, Kelly, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, scenes that were Kelly's father was like, you will not marry my daughter. No punk, like, you will marry my daughter. He's like, I'll show you, I'll marry your daughter, I don't care. It's like, this is meant to be like a funny show. Yeah, for kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his fucking wife to be is like hopped up on pills. then they just cut to Screech's porno tape Yeah What was his name Dustin Diamond? Yeah

Yeah I want this guy To marry my daughter This guy He's got a killer He stabbed the guy And he shot a porn tape That's what I want

That's what I need A real man This guy's got the whap He's got the wap What are we at here We're at an hour Okay perfect Let's think of one little thing

To end it on Okay Oh tell you what'll end it on Fucking a little shout out Yeah To one of her biggest fans Oh yes A good friend of the show

Jordan Robinson Yeah yeah yeah He's a comedian from Belfast He was just He's in hospital at the minute So we're just giving him a shot out Yeah Get well soon buddy

I might cut this little clip And send it to him personally Yeah yeah dude So anything you want to say to him Jordan has been a big fan I tell you a lot of times I'm like no one listens this podcast Yeah

I might just end it and kill James And I yeah I just sort of I'm just waiting in my room I hear you hovering outside my door and I'm like, do it. Come on, just do it. I've got you tied to the chair. I'll pretend to be asleep.

I've got you tied to the chair. I'm about to shoot you and I get a text. You're listed to Steelers' wheel. Well, I don't know why. Yeah, and I get a little notification like, oh, Jordan liked your podcast. Huh. Yeah.

Jordan shared the podcast. Oh, okay. I won't kill anyone just yet. Yeah, well, no, he's a very funny comedian from Belfast and I've met him once or twice at gigs in Dublin. Let's talk about his show that he did that I wish I'd saw. It was called a pig heart, I think. Pig heart, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because he's, he just had open heart surgery there. So he's recovering from that, but he's just back in hospital. So we're just wishing him well. I never seen his show either. I only, the time I did see him perform, now he did do bits from the show, I assume. It was in that competition in the woolshed. That's where I first met him. You beat him.

Yes, that's right. You beat him, then you gave him the heart condition. Yeah, I beat everyone. yeah yeah that's right yeah that's there's my trophy right there yeah it's falling apart yeah it is yeah that's like the biggest achievement i've ever had in my own career just a fucking gave you a golf trophy but yeah jordan okay um i hope you're in hospital now and listen this in this part no i mean i mean let me finish hope you're listening to the podcast in hospital and you're feeling better and i hope you got some sexy nurses yeah yeah yeah just doing a sponge back yeah i hope it's like mile high

in the hospital yeah i hope it's fucking best 50 quid of i bespment yeah the chat the one the nurses like i bet you won't show me your tits she's like no and then like i'll like you listening to brian james oh yeah i think he was in hospital actually listening to our mean girls episode and uh perfect yeah i think it what he wasn't wearing headphones so like it was kind of like out loud and uh he was getting some locks as you could imagine multiple patients killed themselves somebody just came up out of a coma just to be like turn that

off. Yeah, he came out of a coma. He's like, fuck that and just grabbed like a pen, just shoved into his heart. There's like a guy who's like a full paralegic, like can't move at all. Paralegic? Yeah, there's a new condition that. Only this guy, I'm a paralegic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. I start. What's the, what's the, what's the paralegal? What's it? Paralegal. He's a full paralegal. He's a quadrilegal. Yeah, he paralysed from the neck down. Retargeal. Eagle. Paraplegic. Quadro retard. Quadro retard. Oh, we're getting silly. This is for you.

It's for you, Damien. It's for you, Jordan. Yeah. Well, get well soon, buddy. Yeah. Yeah, we're wishing you the best. Yeah. Let's end it there.

Yeah. I know, people are, that probably, I try to be like sincere and people are like, I'll fuck off, you sarcastic prick. I was like, no, I was being genuine. Yeah. Yeah. This is what happened to most serial killers. You know what, Jordan, if you pull true. Just to keep you going

You pull through You're going to be on the show Yeah That's right Yeah In fact Maybe New co-host

Yeah We're going to get rid of Brian Yeah Yeah Brian's gonna kill himself I'll be happy with that The show will be better I think

Jordan will appreciate All my racist voices Yeah He would be like me Being like Me being such a sim Being like Oh maybe don't do that

Yeah Yeah Maybe don't Bring back Your audio minstrel playing. I'm such a little cook. I'm like oh, don't do the Chinese voice. Yeah, you're a real

Ed Jew over there, you know? I'm like you're fucking my girlfriend, okay? And then you start doing like, I'm holy fuck. Oh, James, please, you're ruining the experience. Oh, God. Yeah, come inside her, James, but don't do the Jamaican voice.

Yeah, let's edit there. Let's end it there. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye.