Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 86 : The Creepy UCD Professor

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

We talk George Gibney and Al Pacino fighting the Hangman in UCD.

Yes we are And we're going right now Great It's an early morning edition of the show Well for me Because I'm only out of bed I don't even think

I've been out of bed For an hour Hang on We check the time Probably haven't No Well no Just over an hour

Actually It's pretty bad It's a morning Radio show Yeah We're like Opie and Anthony Oh six in the mix Beat 102

You got We're sway in the morning Five fingers of death Woo Oh Oh Ready Steady

Ready break porridge Whoa, that was it That was cadden on a five fingers of death A lot of the rappers they get now In the breakfast show They can't actually freestyle Really? Yeah, because they don't need it these days

I suppose that's true, yeah They don't have to like go on a bus To like some like old shed and rap of people You know It's not eight mile anymore No, it's all just It's, you know, online Yeah, now it's like

Write the rap, do it once And that's it And yeah, if you drink enough lean You can, you just have to do it once, okay? You'll die before your thither 30 and no more problems. It's class. And for these rappers, these people in that scene, okay, that's

how you want to live. Yeah. There's no point living beyond 30. That's a shame now and they do, they don't freestyle anymore really. They can't like, well I saw that guy, Juice World. He did freestyled for an hour. But he was great. He was fucking, it was great. Like, I was never really big into his shit or

whatever, but that freestyle like really changed my mind. No, Juice World's legit talented, but you see, it's a radio show, so you need people on a lot. So you can't always have the good people on. Yeah, yeah, that's true. You get some other people on, like, let's say. Who, does anyone come to mind that you can think of that was particularly like,

wow, that was bad? I can't think of it. I could like picture her faces. I bet you can, but you don't know. Ah, okay. No mind. Hey, you can fill in the flags there, people. It's early morning.

What do you want for me here? It's the morning radio show. All the beep. Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying like. You're on with beep in the. I can't think because a lot of times

their names are so generic It's like Yeah Those wacky names Yeah A lot of little Little jizzy juice Little jizzy juice

Is that a real one You're making that off That's mine Little Little pancake mix Yeah Yeah Little

Flat tire Little Uncle Ben Yeah Yeah But some of them Go on It's like Uh

Yeah Oh shit Oh shit Oh I'm sorry sway i can't do it yo sway gonna do but this way early day yeah yeah and then they kind of like look like am i done can't please stop i can't count to five how many was that how many fingers yeah i'm too fucked up yeah yeah actually we just before we start recording i showed james the tots next door

the tots next door and we were we were saying tots on this podcast and then uh one of the listeners is Maria in because we were like what does it mean what does it mean because like I'm an old man and Maria was like it stands for that hole over there or those holes over there oh yeah that's the acronym I knew he stood for something yeah oh no I knew it's stuff for something but I didn't know what like but uh no it's that hole over thought stands for central intelligence agents the tots yeah the Iran contra scandal in the 80s thoughts brought crack cocaine into the ghettos. It was the tots next door that flooded the crack into the ghetto. So it's good that I know that now. That brings up my street credit a little bit. Yeah, yeah. So when you're harassing women

online, you could do it with a slightly more degree of accuracy. Yeah. That's good. Well, I'll tell you what, we're going to talk about harassment later on. Oh. So a little teaser for you guys. Woo! Do you want to hear about harassing women? Stay tuned. Hang on to your hats. Yeah. But before that, yeah, we're talking about the tots next door. Totts next door. So it's Selena Powell is one girl and I forget the other girl's name

and they get online and they kind of scream. She's the one is Selena the one that sucked off the seven basketball players? I think so that or maybe her friend did

but like yeah they get up to mischief. Okay they're just they're crazy girls having a good time they're like Dennis the menace always getting up to mischief

and gnash her because they're always gnash on gawk yeah so you watched one episode and she was like to start off going like we're horny.

We're horny. Oh, guys, just one second. And this is literally how it starts. It's like, my friend, Adam, whatever the fuck. Just died because they took some bad pills. So guys, don't do drugs. They're not good. Stop doing it.

But we're horny. Yeah. That's literally how they start the show. It's like, wow, what a wonderful memorandum for Adam, whatever. What was his name? No, you're taking Adam 22. What was? The guy was, I think his name was like Justin Supreme.

no Ethan Supreme Yeah Ethan Supreme Yeah so I wouldn't mind If like if I died I wouldn't mind The tots next door I know I get on

He's like I I'm horny Brian's dead God I get so sweating And I'm like I'm like It's not really the same

Looking down It's better My ghost is like It's not really why I wanted Yeah Yeah Yeah You come back

And I'm like Making potter like Patrick Swayze. Oh, my love. So we watched the Tots next door. Yes, we did. And before that, we watched, we kind of a wild night last night.

We had a fun one last night. Just the wild, the wild boys having a wild night in. You were sober. I had like three cans of Heineken. Yeah, yeah. We watched, listen this, guys. We watch cuties. Cuties.

Well, we didn't, okay, when we say that, we skimmed through it just to be like, because we were talking about it in the previous episode with James Maren and he and I were both like oh yeah it seems really gross and you were like no I think it's okay like but you were no you were coming at it from like an artistic point of view like the filmmakers or making a point and then we actually skimmed through it and you were like oh I really regret trying to defend this now the good thing is I'm on record yeah you're on wax yeah defending these young girls okay it was really weird and gross and yeah the French man they

I mean, for a long time I didn't like French people and that just solidified it. My bigotry is justified. Yeah, it's an interesting film. I like the idea of it more than the actual... What I mean is, okay, in my head... Just can turn my mic off now.

Let me just hang myself at the cord. No, in my head, I can't have an idea of like, oh, yeah, it's obviously it's about sexualizing children. Yeah, but it's about like... Why that's wrong. Yeah, but like... The way in which they do it, though is that they really

sexualize these 11 year olds and it is gross there's a lot of twerking it just doesn't look good it's not good like you gotta think like they like set up the like who is that cameraman is like I love my job

yeah the cameraman's like what I can film this in public what is he was expecting Chris Hanson to pop out Sockley blue Chris Henson

he's used to filming this shit on like a private island or in a basement somewhere a pizzeria in Washington. They get to do it just in the middle of France just out in the park

somewhere. And like, yeah, they're like, it's a dance competition in a public park in France and they cut to the crowd it's all these young guys

like, yeah, all right. It's like a motley crew video. Girls, girls, girls. Ooh, yeah. Even the judges are like, this is the best.

This is what gets me up in the morning. If you know what I mean, a little double on toundra there. Get up. A wrecked cock Put the pieces together in your mind So I think the plot of the film

Is she's like a Muslim girl Yeah or like Yeah And our parents are very conservative Very strict conservative About what she wears How she behaves And then she meets these girls

Her own age who are in a dance crew Yeah And she joins the dance crew And they just wear Well let me finish Oh okay They join the dance crew And she learns how to be

In quotation marks sexy Okay Yeah And then she drowned or fat friend. Yeah, what was that about? There was just some, like, fat, sad girl who was just drowning in a river

and the main girl stood there and it's like, I got a dance competition so I'll see you later and the fat girl just drowns and dies. I'd help you, but I gotta be slutty. Yeah, it's like, oh, I'd help you, but you're fat and ugly, so you're not actually a person,

so I'll see you later. Yeah, again, we were skimming through us. I'm not sure exactly what the body is. Yeah, we don't know the context, really. I mean, like, really, we were just kind of doing that thing where you skipped through it. I'd say in total we watched about five minutes of it, but like...

I got enough. I got what I needed out of it. I got off. Yeah. But yeah, it's a weird one and I don't know. What I would do now, if I was a French director, if I was a French female director, what I'd do to make the film a little bit more palatable for the non-pedophiles, okay? You got to cater for everyone.

You got to cater for everyone. What I would do is, okay, I would have maybe some slightly older girls, Am I older, let's say, like, get like 18-year-olds playing 16, okay? Yeah. And they're doing a real sexualized dance, okay? And the younger girls, the 11-year-olds, see that, and they want to try it. But they're not very good at doing sexual dancing. Right.

But in this film, they're very good. Yeah, like, they actually can dance or whatever. Like, in this film, they're very good at these 11-year-olds are very good at twerking. Yeah. What I do is I'd have them bad at twerking. They fall off the stage. We all have a good laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

we laugh at these little horse. No, it's weird. I don't know. Like, maybe the girls just aren't very good looking. Yeah. Okay, but in this, they're meant to be, you know, really done up. Yeah, yeah. Like, they're really, like, literally, it's, they look like, you know, backup singers or backup dancers in, like, any, like, music video that you see, like, very provocatively dressed. But they're children, and it's weird.

Forget about the whole sexualizing children aspect, okay? Please. Please forget that. even just from like a pure aesthetic look at these girls okay they're dressed up to look like they're women yes like grown women but they're 11 yeah so it doesn't even look right it looks like

it looks weird yeah it looks like they've been through like the Holocaust because they're so small emaciated or something yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway look that's enough of that is it we've talked it with this is like the third episode we've talked about it well just to finish it off okay so we close the book on this So they do their sexy dance

And everyone's loving it Yeah, yeah, yeah Even the Prime Minister of France is like Yeah, yeah Party down Okay, but then like One of the girls get sad, I think Like half of it true

She just stops and runs away from it I thought she was having her period But this was never confirmed I would like to have it confirmed Yeah, I'm gonna write a letter To the filmmakers Dear Madam Yeah

And then she like learns That at the end of day You gotta find the middle ground between like being really conservative and being like... A child prostitute. Yeah, and at the end she wears jeans. Yeah. It's like, I'll just wear a pair of jeans, I think. Yeah.

So, and the whole film was actually, it was made by Levi's. They were like the secret financiers of the film. Yeah. It's like, don't want to be a whore, wear some jeans. Yeah. You want your daughter to get all sexualized? Yeah. Levi's. Thanks, Levi's. Thanks, Levi's. But yeah, I don't know. Go watch it for yourselves. Make your own minds up.

up if you want but it's uncomfortable but i like the idea of it i like the idea of it being about a woman from a conservative background kind of exploring her sexuality a young age you said woman there oh sorry oh no no no the freudian slip a child behind the mask yeah yeah of a child exploring her sexuality and maybe learning like that sounds even worse though you go a little bit too far yeah cause and then you come back because maybe like if you go to the very edges it's just men exploiting you or whatever

and maybe just go a little bit back and wear some jeans I like that and maybe don't turn your back because she's from I don't know what religion I think she's Muslim

yeah African Muslim I think it was like African like because they were like a lot of there was like a family gathering and they were all wearing kind of like African head

dressed like Deshikis and stuff like that so I'm not sure it was Muslim or like like Ugandan or something well let's be honest the film could have been way more they could have sexualized

those children way more if they wanted to and they didn't so a booed the bus yeah okay a round of applause then the Oscar for the Oscar for the biggest

cowards go to those bloody frogs anyway the frogs have like a weird relationship I said frog the French have a weird

come on frog is like paddy or lymie or crout it's really not that offensive I think it's worse than the N-word but anyway like so there's fucking dirty

frogs got a different kind of relationship with sex than like most people in the West. Yeah, well, that's kind of like a stereotype at this point. It's like, oh, the French are very sexually liberated and all that stuff. They're liberate, but also very bored of it. Yeah. So like, only thing they're always having sex in black and white while smoking a cigarette.

Exactly, yeah. What is life? That was the very first. I feel a nothing. That was the very first porn video I ever saw. Really? Yeah, a woman where berry smoking a cigarette looking sad, sucking a cock. In black and white.

She's smoking a faggot and sucking a cock. Oh, women are great. multitaskers, aren't they? She should be on the tot next door. But yeah, they've got very, like, even like, is it Macron? Who's Macron? Is he prime minister or president? Oh, no idea.

Okay. Well, he's famous because he married his teacher. Okay. Yeah. But I think for French lads, it's kind of like, you fucked everyone in your class. Yes. Where else are you going to go? Bang the teacher.

That's what I go to school for. Yeah. I think in France, as well, banged your teacher. isn't considered like partial credit yeah it's not considered even scandalous

it's like yeah of course you would yeah why wouldn't she's a good teacher yeah yeah I think it's like it's way more common that's like a mistress

or two over there as well you know your wife's got mistress you got a mistress your daughter your 11 year old daughter was a mistress yeah

party time baby yeah yeah the French got it down we need to learn from them yeah so we watch cuties yeah

and then we were like ooh just lift a bad taste Yeah, so we need to cleanse the pallet. Yeah, and then we watch the hangman. Hangman! Hello, I'm looking for the hangman. For anyone that doesn't know,

hangman is like a shitty, awful serial killer movie where Al Pacino is a cop trying to, and the serial killer is a hang man, so his victims are all hanging. But like, as in the game Hangman, where it's like, you have like the blank spaces, you got to fiddle in the letters to figure out what words are spelling, and every wrong guess you add,

an extra. That's the game. You ever play Hangman when you were a game? Oh, I played Hangman, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, like, the bodies show up and they're all hung from the rafters, but they've got letters carved into their torso. And in fairness, we did the same with Qaeda. We just skimmed through it. We didn't watch

the whole thing. We just, like, skipped the parts we thought, looked funny. And, yeah, it seemed just awful. We skimmed through the film, looking for any, like, 11-year-olds. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow! Yeah.

um so the basically the plot of the film is so it's um al Pacino yeah carl urban carl urban and some blonde girl brittney snow britney snow that's it yeah yeah oh i forgot because i'm misogynist okay so they're trying to solve this mystery dead bodies keep winding up with the letters okay letters yeah and then halfway through carl urban remembers that his wife actually got killed it's like wait i remember something now and he comes home his wife's dead with a letter carved in her but she's not hanging yeah well that was the hangman was still learning oh okay yeah yeah yeah he's still trying to get his image together you know

it needs something else what else can I do he was like oh I try to be the alphabet man it's like it doesn't have the same pizzazz oh be uh the hangman I'm looking for the hung man Al Pacino goes around looking for guys of big dix yeah yeah he whips it out he's looking for like the mystical

16-incher Yeah Looking for the hung man And he's like The other cops Are like How is this going

To solve the case Oh tell me I'll do my job Okay Because I've been doing a lot So They're looking for The hang man

And they They meet some crazy Characters They meet What do you call The woman Who like looks after Dead Bodies

Oh she's like The coroner The coroner to meet the coroner, who's very quirky. Yeah, she's real, like, she seems so scared or freaked out by dead bodies. Yeah, yeah. Isn't this your whole, like, every time they go to like a coroner or like a forensic, you know,

scientists or whatever, the whole like almost the stereotype is like they're very like cold, detached, completely unmoved by the fact that they're surrounded by dead people. In a lot of shows, they're like eating a sandwich or something while they're carving up a body, you know? Whereas this one, she's like, oh. He was murdered with a sharp instrument of some kind. A knife. I've never seen anything like this.

You mean a dead person that got stabbed? She's trying not to get sick. Yeah, she's so freaked out by it. I found her character just so weird and like... I think she's trying to do a quirky Zoe Dashinell. Yeah, she's trying to like, I'm going to go the other way with it. And it does not work at all. It's really bad.

And she keeps showing up. Yeah. And she's always nervous. and scared looking. A lot of times it's like Pacino's like here, dead body is here I don't want to look

I can't please Oh he's all dead That's gross Did he go to heaven? Yeah so There's really not a lot to say about the hangman It's really dumb

But it was fun to watch You know Well the twist is okay It's not even a twist though really isn't Because a twist Is like You know

Something that like You know relates back to something that happened earlier or like where's like we're like Pacino's just like wait a minute I remember something it's like he went to some gaff

where some guy hung himself in front of his kid and then it turns out the kid is the killer years later yeah it's awful but they don't set it up in any way and the first time we see the killer it's like we never have met this guy before

it's just some random nobody forgot a very important aspect oh did I I did I'm I'm a fool. It looks like a fucking tarred, okay? A mongo. Yeah, okay. It was an eviction.

Oh, yeah. So, Pacino was trying to evict him. Pacino is a cop on the bill, hoard. An eviction notice. Get out of here. Dead beat. You ain't paying the bills. Yeah, so he tried to evict this guy.

So he hung himself, and the little kid was watching, all right? Yeah, so then the letters all spell eviction E.M. Yeah, what is that about? Is that like Latin or something? Eviction them? I think the hangman can spell no good. He's dyslexic. That was a bad gimmick for him

to pick. Like, if he's dyslexic and he can't actually spell that hangman angle is not a good one. That'd be so funny at the end. He's like, it's meant to spell eviction. They're like, there's no cue in eviction. Yeah, you spelled eviction with like three cues

and a question mark. And a bath symbol. Yeah, eviction EM. It was weird. Yeah. I don't know. There was some very exciting scenes in it. Pacino got to have some fun. Yeah, well, yeah, it's weird now. Pacino just seems to be, like, this is...

He's done a few of these, like, shitty, like, serial killer cop movies now. Where he should be playing an old man. He should be the granddad, you said, which is a very good point. That's the thing, because, like, in this movie, he's wearing, like, a leather jacket, his hair is dyed black,

and he's, like, driving around in a Mustang. It's just like, oh, I'm still a younger. Yeah, and it's like, Carl Urban is, like, a tough guy. But I was like, this young kid, okay? You need Pacino around to teach him, like, how to really do it. This young, 53-year-old kid here. Yeah, and Pacino is like 84 or whatever.

It's like, you go out therely, I'll cut him off. I'm actually amazed they didn't have a scene with him, like, banging a 20-year-old. Yeah, well, maybe they did. We didn't, no, we would have noticed that. I think Pacino probably did that himself. Yeah. He probably filmed that himself and sent it in. Guys, I got a suggestion for the edit.

yeah yeah well we forgot the ending actually so he brings it in like he wants to like splice it a scene but he comes in with like old footage on a reel yeah yeah doesn't realize it's all digital just take me to the cutting room where's the broad that cuts it together where is it so at the end at the end of hangman spoil alert yeah everyone who cares okay so they catch the hangman all right right but becino falls down two steps okay and hits his head and dies he like slightly falls back and stumbles and then it's like he's dead oh my god

yeah so um carl urban he's angry because his wife got killed but a hangman okay so the hangman falls down like 20 foot flights of stairs okay he's still he's still twitching and now he's said twerking you're still twerking yeah he's still twerking yeah he's trying out for the cuties dance team okay

so Carl Urban sees him and we were taught like maybe like he's like I'm gonna let you live yeah yeah I'm gonna be the better man of walk away no he just shoots him he's on the ground He's like, take that hang me. So then we cut to the funeral

all right and Pacino is dead He's dead He's in the coffin Yeah Yeah And Carol Urban's sad And then he goes

To his wife's grave Okay And then a random kid shows up Yeah A random kid In a suit Yeah

Some little chubby kid Just out of know Where it comes up And hands him A piece of paper And then it's like It's got like The hangman

Like thing With the like Spaces fill in the blanks Or whatever And then he looks around And the kids gone it's like okay who is that kid is that kid like that's the hang man

there was no set up for it or like reason for it to happen it really seems like it was like written by somebody who it was really trying hard to be seven by David Fincher didn't they feel like it was written by someone from Dundalk yeah well what's the guy's name like Jonathan Martin

Johnny Martin Johnny Martin Johnny Martin yeah sounds like somebody who was in the RAA in the 80s yeah Johnny Martin yeah just some guy who plays pool down the pub he's got an idea for a movie. I've got an idea for a film. He won maybe like

a hundred grand in the euro millions so he used it to like finance a film. Or, okay, there's like an IRA fund and he took it. No, he took it. No, he took them. They've got like a little pot tucked away of some money

for the rat, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he just took it. And like made a film. It's going to help the cause. Yeah. Yeah, so it was awful. But it was a lot of fun to watch

because the whole time we were just doing Pacino. impressions, you know. It was fun, yeah. Which was a good crack. Did we watch anything else last night? I was a little tipsy. Yeah, I'm sure we did.

I showed you an episode of King of the Hill. You got something else, don't you? I have two things to talk about. What do you got? I have a UCD professor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the black and white minstrel show. I was like, when you said the UCD professor, it's like,

I could maybe get us into some trouble. It's like, oh, the blacker, let's go with UCD. Yeah. will lead in nicely to the black and white minstrel show. It will be a seamless transition. Yeah. Well, imagine for like, this professor is bad. And he was also, he also was in showbiz.

Yeah, yeah. So the UCD professor. Yeah. Do you know much about UCD? Uh, no, not really. I had some friends that went to UCD. So when I was around like 18, I would have hung out quite a bit in the campuses. Went to a lot of parties there.

It was a lot of fun. Really? Yeah, yeah. Did you think it was at the time? And looking back, like, that actually wasn't fun. That was problematic. Yeah. Yeah.

No, no, there's none of that. We were all well-behaved chaps, you know? Really? Guys and dolls. I'm supposed to believe that. Just a bunch of crazy guys and dolls. Yeah. You're doing a little song and dance walking around.

No, yeah. Look, I really have no experience of the history of UCD. But as I understand it, there's a professor that has come out and said she was being harassed. There's a professor called Professor von Braun, okay? which also reminds me of Werner von Braun the Nazi scientist that NASA hired Remember that? From Operation Paperclip

Yeah, remember that? They were like... What do you mean do I remember that? Yeah, yeah, I do, yeah. Very, very fondly. You were there. I was there, yeah. I was a part of the...

Guys, trust me. This is, I mean, sure, he's got a bit of a checkered past, but... Viewers' references on his CV. I would like to use his reference podcaster, Brian and James. Well, I forget that some people don't know Who Werner von Braun is

Some fucking Some dunce Yeah, okay Yeah, yeah When you're on a Tinder date What do you mean you don't know Wheremer von Braun is You throw acid in her face

He was a very big Nazi What would you call him general? He was big of the Nazis, okay? Yeah, yeah And he's directly responsible For the debt of many many Jews Sure, yeah Okay

If you believe that Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, he would brag about it apparently Yeah, yeah When he had a few drinks to him He'd be like, yeah, I kill them all six million more like 13 million yeah okay right so um well he got hired by nasa because he was very smart chap okay yeah and he wasn't the only one they hired a lot of like scientists and uh operation

paperclip like that was the whole thing is like find out which one which nazis will be useful to us we keep them and discard the rest let me ask you james you believe in forgiveness uh to an extent so okay but this really isn't about forgiveness this is capital on the like death and destruction and misery and yeah you know it's let me ask you if you put one man the moon all right yeah does that make up for six million jews no it doesn't well you NASA would disagree oh well okay well I well I disagree with NASA well I originally thought they got him over NASA but he was like dressed up like Hannibal Lecter you know like in case he you know got loose and yeah try to start the Holocaust again you know he's up to his own tricks but instead like

this like just gave him loads of money like lived in like a nice apartment and he probably was banging chicks sure yeah yeah yeah girls love a bad boy oh yeah how many did you murder oh my god yeah awesome this girl has sight

just like well Johnny's got a leather jacket but Wormer killed six million Jews but Johnny's got a Corvette tough one but Werner von Brom has a rocket

That's true Yeah He was the original Right towards Israel He was the original Rocket Man Okay Yeah

That's what a rocket man's about That's what it's about Werner von bra Yeah So anyway This woman Avine N-H-U-B-H-B-H-A-N

N-S H-U-L-L-E B-H-A-N Avine Let's just call her A-V-V-E Sally Yeah So Salie.

Yeah Sally, A-Vine is her name. She's actually a pretty cool cat. She hosts science shows in RTE, and she used to bang for her sins. She used to bang Tuberty, yeah. Well, yeah, nobody gets out clean, you know. She was a former Rose of Trilly.

Oh, was she? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Well, it probably makes sense, you know? Only the best for Tubbery. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I wonder does she, like, you know, wake up middle and night and just be like, I wonder what was worse.

The years of harassment or consent. sensual sex with Tubertie. Just waiting in the green room of the late late toy show. He's coming in all amped up. She's like, I'll have to deal with this now. She's going to have to deal with him on the cum down. Yeah, he's dressed up like an elf.

One of the pointy ears falls off mid-coitus and hits her in the face. She just tries to distract herself just staring at his jumper. Okay, so she says that she became, an associate professor in UCD, an assistant professor, I mean, sorry. All right.

And she was like, oh, this is great. I worked hard. Yeah. And I'm now assistant professor in UCD. Next stop, professor, next stop president of UCD, okay? Yeah. First woman president, probably, okay? It's going great for her, all right?

But she's got this professor who works with her, okay? Werner von, oh, no, sorry. Professor von Braun, okay. What's his first name? No idea. Okay. I don't want to reveal it I don't want to hurt his career

I don't want to hurt men on this podcast So she's saying that like At first, okay He's like Hey, good work for you Let's be friends He's like

Oh, he's very friendly Right It's a little bit too friendly, okay Where he's like Beware of the friendly man Yeah The worst type of man Yeah

So he's like Oh you've got very nice Legs She's like Okay From an academic point of view Yeah Okay

nothing suspicious there Your breasts look very good today She's like Hmm well Scientifically speaking Oh okay Alright Yeah he's one of those guys

Like you got good childbearing hips Like I guess it's a compliment You got a great ass Yeah He just slips in the Pacino Sometimes Are you familiar with The Hangman

Wonderful cinematic So he's getting like But like not too creepy At first Is like kind of like Maybe we should go for dinner And maybe we should correct these papers together

beside a candle you know romantic candle I think you mean by candlelight you've got it wrong I'm gonna ride you

beside a candle you love it yeah because I show up this candle up you it's lit yeah okay

so he's like this little bit creepy but like you know women are used to this okay especially in academia because you get

a lot of creeps or like sure yeah yeah so she's like oh sorry I don't got a boyfriend he wouldn't really like if we were having like a candlelit dinner together

yeah yeah he's like oh fine okay but then all right he just breaks into not breaks it he just bursts into her office one day and he's like i must admit i love you i love i always loved you oh god you drive me crazy please say you be my girlfriend oh wow yeah okay that's and she's like oh no i've got the boyfriend he's like you lie you lie you lie you lie you lie You do this to me, it's your fault Liar, liar, pets is on fire Why you toy with my heart Okay, yeah, yeah

So he gives a big spiel about like, you know what you do to me You know what you do to me You use your feminine ways Don't make me crazy in the mind Okay, so eventually she's like, I gotta get out of here Yeah, this guy's wacky, it's the weekend Okay Because she's like, okay, it's Friday

I'm probably going to report this to HR Right But you know what, I've got a weekend booked with the girlos okay yeah sure it's gonna be a spa weekend I mean spas in like jacuzzi yeah not spas in that's a different type of weekend

we go to a special farmer look at them okay so it's a spa weekend it's very relaxing seeps into the pores you can feed them takes years off you okay so they go to a spa weekend

in a different county okay so let's say it's Wicklow right he just won the Ws all right in a hotel all right she's like, okay, I can get away from this creepy von Braun guy, okay? Go hang with the girls, my best friends, okay? Relax, okay? The first night there is great.

The next morning, it's like, you've got someone at the desk waiting for you. What? Yeah, okay. She's like, oh, who could it be? And they're like, yeah, his name is like Von Braun. She's like, oh no. Holy. They're like, yeah, he's got flowers.

He says that he's your girlfriend, he's your boyfriend, and that he paid for the, he paid for the hotel. I would like return on my investment, please. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So she's like... He's at the front desk.

He's got flowers and a gun. Yeah. He's here to see you. Yeah, yeah. So she's like, oh, tell him I'm not around. And the girl at the desk is like, well, he says that he knows your car is here.

Oh, my God. This guy is, this guy's mental. I don't think this guy is a good guy. No, it's not even that. I think he's legitimately unwell. Yeah. Like, who actually does? this?

This is... No, it seems like you're defending him. No, I don't. What we got here is the mental health issue. Yeah, that's the old fallback,

isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need more government services to help people like him. Well, he's clearly a nut job. Like, this is unstable behavior,

dangerous, unstable behavior. Well, I told you the idea some insolves have is that it should be a government thing where like you should be like a universal girlfriend. Like universal basic income.

Yeah, yeah. Universal basic pussy. It doesn't matter how fat and how smelly are you should get a government girlfriend look after you and rub your belly and tell you you're a good boy okay hey pretty hot

don't knock it till you try it baby uh mehole help me okay so she calls the police all right sure well first she comes down and tries like you can't be here yeah this is not right and he's like no you're lying again you're gaslighting me

you try to think I'm crazy but I'm not I'm your boyfriend you can't deny our love So she calls the police, okay Police come, apparently the police are really nice They're like, look, we get a lot of fucking cases You know, like this, they're kind of used to Weirdos like this showing up at hotels, all right?

Ten a penny, okay? So they get rid of them, okay? Sure, yeah. Now, they're staying for a weekend. Guess what happens the next day? No, he doesn't. Hello! I got bigger flowers.

Maybe you prefer tulips to roses Is that the problem? Oh my God. What the fuck? Imagine like in his head. He's like, oh, I can make this work. Oh my God. This is bad to say.

Yeah. All right. It's like, no, I can still win her back. She's playing hard to get. She makes me go away with the police. Use the old Wiggum. It is friendly game of cat and mouse Yeah, okay

So this is like, okay She's like, I think I should go to HR Yeah I think this is like I don't think I'm being a stuck-up bitch anymore I don't think I'm being a buzz kill here Yeah, yeah I'm in danger

This man is dangerous Okay, so she goes to HR and UCD All right, right? He's put on leave Is that it? Just like Not fired Not fired, put on leave And he's like oh my head

I must go and recover from what she done to me this evil woman cash the spell and now I must go lie down

so he's put on leave okay so she assumes like oh look maybe you'll come back all right he'll probably gone for a couple of months

right okay he comes back after a short time she is not informed that he comes back oh wow so she's just walking

in the office one day and he's like I'm hello I'm back Did you miss me? Yeah Wow

So at first Like he's told like Hey don't talk to her Okay But Hey if you could Just maybe don't talk to her Guess what he does

This guy don't play by the rules Yeah he talks to her And at first he's like Trying to be Act like he's normal again He's like Oh I had crazy spell there But I'm back to normal

Okay Where he's like I have my own girlfriend Now I'd like you to introduce And he just goes a cardboard cut out. Yeah, of her. It's like Claudia Schiffer, but like with her face past it on.

Oh, it's a crazy resemblance, yeah. But we are very happy and in love. So at first he's like trying to be academic. So he's like, maybe we could grade the papers to get her in my office with my door open. Got a problem with that? I shall wear oven Mitch the entire time.

No problem. But then he's like, can you help me with this class? She's like, well, that's not in the field I work in. He's like, ah, come on. Yeah, yeah. You're smart. Yeah. You're very smart and pretty.

Yeah, yeah. So eventually he starts. I've learned a lot here. This guy is smooth. He knows how to win the ladies. So eventually he gets back to his proper way. He's like, we should be boyfriend, girlfriend again. Yeah, yeah.

He's like, we should get back together. She's like, we were never together. I'm willing to take you back after you broke a mom. heart, I'm willing to forgive and accept. So it gets to stage where she used to lock her door of her office, okay, and he'll be outside just knocking, being like, I know you're in there.

She'd knock, like, you know, in Big Bang, Terry. Yeah, yeah. Is this weekend good for you to meet my parents? Yeah, they're very excited to meet you. Okay, so eventually it has to go to court all right. Oh, God. Some brads, I can't

take a compliment. I got to take it to court. This seems kind of low, all right? So it goes to court, all right? Guess what the punishment is? Ah, pays a fine. I don't know. No.

What? Does some counseling, maybe. A restraining order for five years. Okay. That seems a bit low, doesn't it? Five years? Like, a restraining order, so that's like they can't be within however many feet of each other. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how does that work when they work together? I think he lost a job. Oh, he lost the job, did he? Okay, right, right. But this is like, after the court thing, UCD were like, oh, I guess we got a fire him to keep this fucking... Well, like, I assume he probably had tenure or whatever, right? Yeah, so it's hard.

Yeah, it's... I think when the court get... When the courts get involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When the judge is involved, yeah. I think UCD has to be like, oh, fine, we'll do it, just keep her quiet. But this one was saying, Avine or Sally, whatever name is, Yvonne, was saying that, like, she had to, like, she never stayed late because she wanted to, like, walk home on her own.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, you should have, do the thing which has the keys and her fist. Wow. Yeah.

She, I mean, she was, rightfully so, she was very concerned. She was losing weight over it. It was like, ruining her life.

She couldn't, like, get her work done. Jesus Christ. And then the guy gets like a five year, you know, he can wait. It's insane, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he got fired. And then, so she kind of, is there anything else to happen then after? No, then she just got praised. Okay.

Well, okay, so she came out about and told this story went public with it and obviously people are like that's horrible that's insane and then I think a lot of people started kind of questioning like the head administrator of UCD or whatever's like hey why did you let this guy do this

the way they handled it like the way like he came back and didn't like let her know. Didn't even let her know yeah it's just like shabrash yeah yeah now what's interesting is so you hear this and you like oh that must have happened like the early 2000s yeah this is like 2017 or 18 like this is after

me too like it's like the guy heard me too he was like uh challenge challenge accepted me too yeah yeah i don't know that's wild man so yeah a lot of people came out uh in favor of her yeah not many people came out against her which is good yeah probably on you're probably people on the internet who like you know he's probably giving a ted talk right now the woman who ruined my life yeah she put she cash the spell on me yeah with her wicked voodoo vagina voodoo? He writes a book about like my struggle.

Yeah. Well, so where's he now? Is he like back in the home country or what up? No one knows. It's actually pretty easy for a rapist to like just start over. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Like he was kind of in, like how long did he work in UCD?

Like it was a good few years. He's a professor like so probably like a long time. Yeah, I think he was like over 10 years or something. He was there a long time. Yeah. so like during that time he probably made connections I'd say he's probably working

as like a professor back in Germany or wherever he's Oh yeah yeah yeah It's so easy for people like to be acute Like that's the thing like Damn sourcrout Like I think people don't really understand Like just how like

I could be charged Okay With 97 charges of like Raping Wait I'm exaggerating a bit I'm exaggerating a bit That's not exactly how it went down

Okay, let's say I got charged With like raping one woman, okay? Yeah I do the 20 years or whatever, okay? 20? No man Like, I'm not, obviously it's horrible

But rapists don't get that They get like a couple of years Okay, I do the six months It's really fucked up I do the three months Yeah, I do the week and a half Yeah Just pick it up later

I can just get out And go to Australian I'm grand Yeah, We're not grand No, you probably couldn't get a visa for Australia could you?

If you're like a convicted Well if I have the money If you're on the sex effects Well look I'll just go to the UK Look I'll go to Wales Yeah okay

Yeah Suppose that's worse than prison Like I'm just an example Okay So I'm listening to a podcast At the moment called Where is George Gibney Oh yeah

Yeah I've heard about You've told me about this This is a very interesting case Alright So George Gibney He was an Olympic swimmer Yes Oh sorry

Swimming coach Yeah And based in Northern Ireland Was it? No it's out Oh okay Yeah And he coached one person called Gary O'Toole, who I think got silver or bronze.

Right. Now, I can relate to this because the victim's called O'Toole. So, yeah. So I can believe this victim. Maybe this one isn't making it all up. Yeah, okay. So he was molesting him, like, you know, age nine. Yeah.

Or like, you know. And then, like, his big thing was, and he molested, like, at least 30 children. Yeah, he was very, like, he was going for years, basically. Like, if you're a swimming coach. it's very easy to like, you know, a young, impressionable child. It's like, hey, you want to win gold? Yeah. You know?

Yeah. What are you got to do? Just learn to swim good. Apparently his big thing was he'd get, like, young, impressionable children, male and female, okay? And he'd be like, let's say he has like a 12-year-old boy. Yeah. He's like, ah, sure. If I was a girl, what would you do?

Say, you're a boy, okay? Oh, okay. You're a boy. I'm George Gibney. Yeah. Okay. Hey, how are you doing? Hello.

Uh, you're growing up, aren't you? I sure am. I'm a big, strong boy. Do you like girls? No, they're stupid. You do, you do. Well, you don't realize it yet. Maybe.

If I was a girl, what would you do? This is making me very uncomfortable, sir. Come on, come on. Don't put your, don't put your clothes on. Are we going to be swimming at any time today? Are we just going to stand? We'll get to it. what's this car park this doesn't look like the swimming pool yeah apparently what he would do as well

is like he'd like after swimming lesson yeah he'd like stay in the waiting room till I come back okay and they'd wait there for like four hours oh really yeah because he'd wait till everything clears out wow then he come in and be like imagine I'm imagine I'm Cameron Diaz oh my god or wherever it is read a Hayward forever to float there I'm Gilda Radner okay so um um That's weird. So this was like the 80s and 90s, okay? I think we should definitely make this episode of Patreon. No, no, no, no.

I like this episode, right? Okay. We already give the shit ones the Patreon. Okay, so he gets accused of molesting like 30 kids, okay? Right. But because of Arden's legal laws, all right? Yeah. He never gets named in the press.

Okay. So he goes... Because he was pretty like... He was huge. People knew him. He was almost like a quasi-celebrity in early. show, like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe on the news a lot because he'd be talking about like, ah, my boys are doing

well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he, it goes to court, all right. Listen this. This shows like how bad, how hard it is to trial a rapist, okay? Yeah. So he goes to court and they're like, all these children they're growing now, okay? Yeah, they're all adults. Have said that like you molested

them. And they're giving, they'll testify. Yeah. Written statements. Yeah. Everything, okay? Talk to police, everything. Yep. Now, the judge says George Gibney has no way to prove what he did on those dates that they said he raped him. He's got no

diaries or anything. Right. So he can't defend himself. So therefore, it's not fair. What? Yeah. That's absurd. That's what the judge said. That is fucking ridiculous. Even though all the victims said, like, oh, he kept diaries. Oh, really? Yeah. Holy shit.

Can you believe that's like... That's... What kind of argument is that? It's like, oh, he can't remember so he shouldn't be... It's not fair. it's like if how is that even allowed like every defender would be like oh you know what i don't remember that it's like oh well throw the case out we can't win it's impossible yeah he's got why would he lie why would he lie it's a legal loophole yeah called lying yeah that's fucking insane now uh look this judge more than likely was drinking bodies what i was like here i'll give you some of the

scruffs that i don't want it's like yes please so apparently as well on the wonder driving out of the court. Yeah. Okay. They accidentally crashed the car. Who does? His driver, George Gibney. Right.

So he has to hide under some coats in the back seat because the press are taking pictures. Oh my God. Okay. So yeah, he goes scut free, okay. And apparently he tries to, like, get back into coaching for a bit. He, like, I read like a Guardian article about it. So he skipped to like L.A. didn't he? Yeah.

But what's interesting is before that, I think during the trial, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. All the judge, all the other coaches in Ireland were on his side. really yeah apparently one of the victims said her car got smashed oh they were getting harassed and she got a phone call saying like i know where your kids go to school jesus christ and one of the victims are saying that like because she was also um in coaching okay yeah yeah yeah she was a big swimmer okay right that she walked in one time into a room okay yeah and all the coaches saw her and they all sat with george gibney and wouldn't sit with her oh fucking hell yeah that's insane isn't oh my god So anyway, George Gibney, okay, goes off to America, all right, and gets work in like a fancy hotel.

Yeah, like swimming coach. Yeah, manager. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Manager of children. It's not a position that actually existed before, but he came and said we needed it and he made some good points. So, uh, had a lot of diaries. So, uh, we, uh, we took up on his word. So, like, he's doing well, okay, and prime time have gone over a few times, right?

You know, do we do that like, uh, George Gibney, are you rapist? Yeah, yeah. You know the way to do that walk and talk? Yes, he's walking away, yeah, yeah. He's got like a newspaper in front of his face. And all he does just not talk and he gets in the car and prime time are like, well, I guess he beat us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a podcast called Where is George Gibney?

Yes. And they're following him at the moment. Yeah, I think I heard like the first episode opens up with them like kind of following him in a car. And then they get out, it's like, George, you're a nonce or whatever. So you've listened to it, have you? I have you. And it's good? It's good.

It's not finished yet. Okay. So I don't know how it's going to end. Maybe they will confront him. Okay. But the moment, it's pretty good. There's one weird bit where they're like, they're kind of like watching him. Yeah, yeah.

In his, what you call like estate or block, wherever like that? Sure, yeah. And this weirdo comes out and he's like, hey, what's going on here? Because you're scaring my wife. Right. And they're like, oh, we're just watching your neighbor. And it's like, well, you're watching our neighbor. Is he?

Is he ISIS? Yeah. Is that Irish fellow? And they just go like No he's not like Petophile It's a pedophile We get some pitifuls around here

Really Yeah it's some weird old neighbor Apparently not wearing socks Okay Yeah Yeah I think that's a telltale So I recommend it

Where is George Gibney Where is George Gibney It's on the BBC Sounds app And wherever you get your podcasts Okay Don't we plug another podcast You're right actually Yeah

It's shit made by the bloody BBC as well Yeah fucking Ironically enough It's like the BBC you're catching petos now. Too little, too late, my friends. So, actually, if you've been more research about the Irish swimming world,

it's pretty interesting, because another coach got caught as well. Molesting children. And then another coach, all right, he was going to get caught, and he was like, oh, what am I going to do? So he just killed his wife and kids. What?

Yeah. Did he kill himself? Nope. I'm about to get caught. I know. Honey, can you come in here? Bring Billy. Yeah, what's going on, Dad?

Skinny, Bop, blah, brup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he killed his wife and kids. Okay, so they wouldn't find out, all right? Okay. He went to jail. Yeah. And I was like, I wonder what this guy's up to now.

Teaching the prisoners how to swim? Listen to this, okay? No. They let him out, they let him off during the day to go to college. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. He gets day release. Child molester slash murderer.

Yeah. Gets to go to college. Well, he's not going to primary school. DK.I.T. is it? That'd be fun actually I'd have to crack with him Good rag week was it Yeah yeah

Jesus Christ So the Irish swimming world's pretty crazy Also one girl okay She got caught Tampering wear a urine sample Well Oh because she was on drugs Yeah Michelle Smith got three gold medals

Oh yeah I've heard of it Yeah Michelle Sitt That's a very famous one Yeah yeah She was stripped of the medals She wasn't she She wasn't actually stripped of them But she was cast in

Do-Doo Yeah yeah basically because she was like, when was that like 96 or something? Is it Atlanta 96 Olympics James? Yeah, yeah. So I like remember this because like everyone is like Michelle Smith, amazing, she's great, she's a national hero

and then like a couple of years later, it turns out she was on drugs and it's a big scandal and everything. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah, it's a pretty crazy world, the swimming world. The world of swimming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, did you ever go swimming when you're kids? I think Michelle

Smith should be more ashamed than George Gibney. At least he never did steroids when he was molesting. Oh, you don't know. That's right. Well, you don't know. Yeah. But yeah.

You need to check his diaries. Yeah, yeah. I still can't get over that. And they say it on the podcast, apparently they've changed the rules now a little bit. But I would hope so. Back then,

it really was like the rapist is guilty until proven innocent. No, innocent until proven guilty. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like... It's like the burden of proof is on the victim.

Yeah, yeah. But you kind of... The only way to get done is if you literally... she had like, yeah, I've got tape of the rape. Yeah. I've got DNA samples. Fresh DNA samples. His skin under my fingernails. A audio recording

of him confessing. Yeah. You're one of those like, what are you going to do? Well, yeah, raped her. You never catch me. It's like, oh, really? And they have the tape recorder in the chest. And the judge is like, well, but he says he doesn't remember. So God, I'm conflicted

here. Case closed. Yeah. Yeah. so let's end with the black white minstrel show do we have time you know what we don't we don't it's too much it's too much that's what i was thinking we're going to do another episode yeah devoted yeah yeah devoted an hour of the black white minstrel show a full hour of the black and white minstrel show not long enough in my opinion yeah but okay we'll make do so get ready for that dear listener so have we got anything else to end it on this was a very non-heavy show back

to basics yeah back to our roots we learned just peace Itos and rapists. Remember we try to like be woke? When? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We learned our lessons. Hey. No fuck with the formula, baby. If it works, it works. So yeah. And actually just out loud, I want to say a few messages. Okay. Okay. So one, I'd like to thank James Moran. Yes. For coming on our show.

Absolutely. On the last episode he was on, he was great. It was a lot of fun. We had a good old chat there. We watched my cousin Vinny together afterwards. Yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A real bonding experience.

Marissa Tomey won the Oscar. Allegedly. Well. Some people say shouldn't, some people say that Jack Palance read the name wrong. Yeah, but then I think the Academy came out afterwards and said,

no, that's just a baseless theory because if that were the case, we would have said, no, this is wrong. She actually won. You can believe what you want to believe. I will. If you want to believe the white men in power, James.

They've never steered me wrong before, Brian. Yeah. I'm living. life over here. So big thank you James Moreen for coming on the show. Absolutely. And doing the podcast twice. Yeah, because we fucked up the first time. Yeah. Listen to that episode to find out

how. Okay. I forgot to turn on my microphone. Yeah, we were kind of, you know, you were hoping there was some like big grand conspiracy trying to take us down. It's like, no, I just forgot to turn on the microphone. I forgot how mics worked. I forgot you need them on. I always knew I'd ruin

the show. But you know what? We came on to an episode and I think it was even better than the first. Even better yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also want to thank everyone on the Patreon. Thank you all so much. Head over to the Patreon and get exclusive episodes. Sexy exclusive episodes. We have a show about Israel on the Patreon. Oh yes. Yeah. So that's an Israel. That's a Patreon episode. Yeah, we had no choice but to move that to Patreon. Yeah. Well, I think a very nuanced look at the history of Israel. I think you need to look up the definition of the word nuanced. I think nuance is hating Jews.

Juiced. I also want to give a shout out to a new Patreon member Paul Shepard Who's Paul Shepard? He's a guy I went to school with Oh cool, nice, nice So shout out to Paul Shepard Paul, yeah Paul Shepard is, I think he's a

Is his name Paul Shepard? It is now Yeah Actually, ah Who gives a fuck? Yeah, yeah I think I'm pretty sure it was Paul Shepard Yeah, it was, yeah

Okay Yeah, yeah I got, yeah Did you say he is a podcast that you Yeah, he wanted you to plug? He says he's working on a podcast podcast. I don't know if it's out yet, but when it is out, we'll plug it.

Okay. Because I like to plug the Ballin Carlo podcasts. Yeah, because a guy, a friend of mine, who's living in Taiwan, just messages me the other day saying, loving the episodes from all the way here in Taiwan. So thank you, Damien Waterson, big, good friend of mine. He's a good

lad, good crack. And I miss him, you know? I also want to give a big shout out to a girl that message me looking... She messaged me looking for weed. She hasn't talked to me in four years. Say, I don't have weed. But thank you for asking.

Do you want to be my friend? Maybe I could be your swimming coach, if you know what I mean. A bit of role play. You could be my Michelle Smith. I'll get you all high on the weed and strip you of your gold medals. Oh, okay. We sound like a toss next door. Yeah, we do.

We're horny. We're horny. Oh, my God. Shout out to my friend, Steve, who died. Yeah. Bye. Bye.