Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 96 : Cory in the House

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

Half way threw the episode we get a phone call telling us we're not allowed on Television so after the show we self harmed.

Oh, let's do this. Here we go. How you doing? I'm good. Are you good, James? I'm all right. We had a little break there, watch some Dolly Parton. Yeah, yeah.

We watched the Dolly Parton jerk off challenge. We did. We did. I'm not going to say how far we got into it. I couldn't get hard and everyone started laughing at me. We didn't even make it through the ads. Yeah. Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

We watched that as well. That's a movie that Dolly Parton was in. Now, when we say we watched it, we watched like one, two scenes. We watched one clip and that was enough for us. know what I'm saying. Bert Reynolds with no shirt on brushing his teeth. We didn't even make his dolly parton. We just saw it that.

He's brushed his teeth. Oh. Yes, please. And I just made a mess all over your cat. Yeah. Which I apologised. Ah, she loved it. I assume.

Yeah, with Dolly Parton now, she's been going for a long time. Meow means meow. Like that? Yeah. Cat-based rape joke? Yeah. Good one. It's important.

We're speaking truth. Yeah. I'm feeling good We're watching Dolly Parton I'm drinking a monster right now Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah It's like a

What is it What flavor is it? It's Cinco de Mayo Flavoured Cinco de Mayo flavor Yeah It's got skeleton Like Dave the Dead

You know skeletons Yeah De Los de mortos Or some shit like that And that what they say I don't speak that Gobbly gook Bloody dat speak

Yeah What's that Got a problem do you Yeah I'm feeling good How to piss there Sure When was the last time

You pissed yourself James Last time I pissed myself I'm not sure if I've ever pissed myself Maybe when I was a child It's not something that I do on a regular basis Really? Yeah Something look forward to As you get older

Yeah maybe you know Anytime I go to the bathroom Take a piss and then I zip up And a few little dribbles come out Do you ever like you didn't shake it properly You just kind of like you won't pay attention You pull back in and it kind of goes down your leg You're like oh no

That's why I always wear dark coloured clothing So no one can tell the piss stains It is shit when like you get piss on your leg and it's like um i can't really change now yeah because i've got stuff to do so it's gotta go through life the world has to deal with it it's like you yeah the world has to deal with your piss same on shit myself's like the world's got to deal with this either wipe it or shut up it's my carer's problem i do remember i did piss myself properly in school one time what primary what are you talking like i can't remember very young yeah maybe uh senior infants okay

so well like six years old maybe something like that yeah right do you remember pissing myself and here's a weird thing everyone was dancing okay everyone Brian's pissed himself so start dancing it's the Brian pissed himself dance it was like grease did did did that was their sinko to my own when you pissed yourself no I don't remember no what was happened there was something going on maybe it was like a Friday maybe it was like near the end of the year right but everyone was like playing music and dancing it's probably like a Christmas party thing right maybe something like that yeah yeah like the office christmas party yeah i was dancing yeah and then and then martin freeman came in and started kissing you so i oh you better watch out mate

he's only a six years old all i needed was the love you gave all i needed for another day yeah so they were all dancing and i don't know why but i was sitting there and i was nervous and i just pissed myself like are we talking about like a full I'm talking about when I got back like the front of my trousers just all different colour so was there a little puddle under your feet I don't remember that that's the thing okay so I think it must have been

not a big piece that it just soaked into the trousers and make it down to the ground did anybody notice well here's the thing I was like I was sitting on a table okay and then someone was like Brian you dance I was like no no I'm okay and then they're like come on Brian's like no no no I was a very fake

no they were like oh Brian's a bit in the mood, okay. And then I walked home. I remember thinking like, Jesus, I'm full clever there. No one caught me. But then I got back to look to the mirror and it was such a color,

I was like, oh, they definitely all noticed. So you thought you were real like Machiavelli and, you know, you had gotten away with it. It was like James, like a spy. Yeah.

Like James Bond. James Bond pisses himself and he gets away with it. Shaken, not stirred. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good times. That was.

There's simpler times. you just pissed yourself And it wasn't a big deal Now if you did it They'd put you on medication or something Put you in the special class Well no if I was in America Definitely would put me on medication

Oh yeah They're like Brian's not dancing Give him pills He's depressed That's a Give him some head meds Yeah that's the only show euphoria I've heard of it

From you Yeah Telling me how much you hate it I do hate it But I do watch it all the time It's one of those things I say I hate it But I'm all invested in the characters

I get you And when she doesn't get the jock, I start crying. It's like, it's not fair. He shouldn't go with that tramp. He should go with her. Yeah, yeah. But that, you know, Zandaya. Yeah, I'm familiar.

She's addicted to the pills in that show because when she was a little kid, she, in the show, not in real life, okay? Right. In the show, she's like six years old. Right. And she's counting all the tiles in the ceiling. Okay. And her parents, like, why is she doing that?

And then they bring her to a psychologist, psychologist, like, yeah, she's probably a ADHD. bipolar probably bisexual as well and then they gave her tons of pills we've got something for that yeah so they gave her tons of pills okay and then when she's like 18

parents were like I don't get why is she addicted to the drugs doesn't make any sense it's probably MTV's fault it's M&M's fault Marilynne Manson got my dicker daughter addicted to pills what did I say her got her addicted daughter to bills

did have a tongue twister She sells pills by the seashore Sandaya sells pea shells We're both still in now Yeah, giddy I'm all tired I'll tell you what, let's go on something good now Okay

So we do dead Kennedys Yeah, it's a segment called Dead Kennedys I thought you know what Let's do one the biggest Kennedys Can we normally do like the trash Like the ones the lesser known ones Yeah like the Mongoloids That they locked up in a dungeon

and lobotomized. Yeah, those ones, okay? Well, a few of them got out. Yeah, a few of them made it to the big time. You know the way, they spread. All of these candies have like 10 kids each. Yeah. There was a family reunion recently,

it was over 150 of them. Jesus Christ. Just spreading like germs. What does the dynasty look like now? I mean, what are they all just like TikTok stars? No, no, they're all like their heads. They're all melted. They've all got like teeth growing out of their ears.

Okay. There's one guy, Joe Kennedy, the third. Oh. He's running for. politics, he lost very bad. Is he like the kind of ginger looking thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He ran... Looks like a young Conan O'Brien or something. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. He could play Conan O'Brien in the movie. Yes. Yeah, yeah. The call... I could play Andy Richter. That's such an insult. It's like, we're going to need you to lose weight to look like modern day Andy Richter.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so, um, what was going to say? Yeah, he ran for something in Massachusetts, I think maybe governor or something, and he... he lost and he's like not mayor it was something else like governor or something like that and he's the first kendi's ever lose in massachusetts oh they were saying like oh that's the sign that the kendi dynasty is over yeah well it's been over for a while it's been over for a lot it's been over since dallas let's be honest okay so bobby kendy yeah he's one the bigger the big ones he was jfk's brother jfk's uh little brother well there was he was seventh of nine children my god yeah

imagine her, think of her pussy. Okay, listeners, we're going to be quiet for a minute. You just pictured that in your mind. Who's pussy? His mother's. What's his mother's called? I forget it, but I forget it. Pussy Kennedy.

Yeah. That's all you need to know. Okay. I forget, but I remember reading up at one stage. She said she was very cold. She was very distant and mean. Okay. That's what they use, which is like...

That's how you create a winner. Like, my parents were very cold and distant and look at me now. No, your parents, she was very cold and distant. Your parents gave you too much love. Is that what it was? Look at you all spoiled. Yeah, look at me. Yeah, the cat that got the cream.

You live in a world of fantasy. Where everything just works out. You go to school of hard knocks, James. Cabins on top all the time. I've had it too good. Your life is basically Corey in the house. What? Do you remember that?

No. Corey in the house? What's Corey in the house? It was the Datso Raven spin off. Oh, see, I never watched That's So Raven. So Raven, okay? And that was Raven Simone. Yeah.

And she could see the future. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I know I'm familiar with it. I just never watch it. Now, who's the one? Is it, maybe it was Corey. Corey, yeah.

But he's gone mental now. Yes, yeah. And like he accused Nick Cannon of molesting him when he was a kid. He said Will Smith and Nick Cannon said Nick Cannon was dressed as a woman and gave him a blowjob when he was under age. Corey is certainly in the house. Yeah. Yeah. Funny if that was just a woman and he was like, oh, you're probably.

You want to death. Are you wilding out of my dick? Every time he sees a woman, he's like. That's Will Smith in a dress Trying to fuck me I'm not going to fall for you For your tricks, fresh prince Fool me once, shame on me

Yeah, okay So he was He was seventh of nine children Okay Robert Kennedy Not Bobby Kennedy Not Corey in the house Yeah

Oh yeah Just finished off Corey in the house Okay Bobby Kennedy Cory in the house Okay So the spin off

That's the Raven They're like What if Raven's brother Okay Was a mentally ill crackhead No no What if his dad gets a job as a chef in the

White House. Oh. So then Corey gets to hang out in the White House and call the president the Jive Turkey. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Who's the president? A white guy. Is this like the Bush administration times? This is during Bush administration. Just during the Iraq

War. Yeah, so the president's always like... You Jav Turkey motherfucker. You ain't got no dick. You can't fuck with Iraq. So the president's always like Corey. Yeah, yeah. War. So he's got like the plans for like where to drone strike. Yeah, yeah.

But then Corey, like, I know. He, like, draws a cock on the blue prints. No, Corey turns the plans into a paper airplane and accidentally flies it over into, like, the Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda get the plane. And then they, like, murder, like, all the U.S. troops. And the president's like, Corey, uh-oh, president's tripping. I better hide out.

So, like, there's a famous clip where, like, um, um, there's a little kid that's, like, bull. and Corey. Yeah. But then what Corey does okay is he puts a skeleton, a fake skeleton on like one of those

little motorized scooters. Sure, yeah. And tricks the kid to thinking it's a ghost. Okay. Ghost rider. Yeah, yeah. But then the little thing

crashes and the skeleton ghost and the president. The president's like, oh no, a ghost. Right, okay. Pretty funny. That's pretty good. It's pretty satirical, isn't it?

Ah, yes. Yeah, a wonderful commentary there. I have to say, though, didn't make him like he didn't make him fully George Bush Okay They made him just generic white guy president Right okay

And he'd always be like I'm a what What's a honky A honky Yeah Well I got a couple of words for you Corey Yeah that was in the DVD

Got your sister see the future See what I'm going to call you Oh it certainly is Raven I'll tell you that Anyway There's another episode Where Corey's hanging out

on Air Force What's the plane Air Force One Air Force One, okay And they got the Russian Premier on there as well Okay And uh

Glory is in the house Yeah And then the president Loses a game of cards And loses Alaska Strip poker was it Yeah Probably yes

It's that silly Yeah Yeah So he loses Alaska And he's like How am I gonna win it back And then Corey's like What about a game of

Dance Dance Revolution Oh yeah Yeah But the president can't do it He's like, if only his little black kid here, who could dance. I don't know how to bust a move, Corey. Well, let me teach you. Schools in session, praise.

Let me hit you with some knowledge. Yeah, yeah. Yes, teach President the worm. Yeah. And then the Russian guy at the end is like, I cannot match your dance moves. Who taught you how to dance, Mr. President? Oh, let's just say, I had a little help from a friend. And then he winks at him.

Anyway, okay, so that's Corey in the House God, you just brought back memories there I'm glad. We're watching an episode after this. Okay, yeah, yeah. You're just going to go barged in downstairs and, like, kick my roommates off their couch. Like, we're watching Corey in the House.

We're trying to watch a film. Shut up! It's Corey in the House. It's either Cory in the House or the Jerk Offt. Corey in the House Jerk Off Challenge. Starring Nick Cannon in a dress. Okay, Bobby Kennedy. So Bobby Kennedy, okay.

As I said before, 7th of 9 children That's all got to so far Right Now we all know the story Bobby Kennedy motherfucker Yeah Shot in 1968

By Zirhan Zirhan During his presidential run A lot of people say He was a shoe in Hmm But did you know Let's start off with the juicy stuff Okay

Lost his virginity Yeah In a whorehouse Okay To Dolly part The best little whorehouse They were singing and dancing and doing a, having a great time. And then Dolly wanked him off and he started crying.

Well, you just need to stop being a little pussy now, boy, and give me that dick. No, Dolly Parton, get your hands off me. Jizz on my tips. Anyway, sorry, go on. So his dad paid for the hooker, but as a joke, he got a black one. Because that's the, that's the candy sense of humor. It's like a practical joke. Yeah, yeah.

So that's a good bond. But that opened up a whole can of worms, did it? No? No. I think everything was grand. No, well, what about the old, once you go black hooker, you don't go back hooker? No. Apparently, he was pretty good at going back and forth.

Oh, okay. It sounds like he had... He really was a man of the people then. It sounded like he had all the chocolate, if you know what I mean. Dark chocolate, white chocolate. Milk chocolate. Chocolate with nuts in it? Yeah.

He didn't care. Oh, really? He had some fruit and nut, did he? Yeah, he had fruit and nut, yeah. He was putting chocolate up his ass If you know what I mean He was a fan of Homosexual Chocolate

If you catch by drift So he was killed Oh wait somebody's ringing me He tried to call me before Like five minutes ago Oh hey guys Let's just get back with the show We just got some good news

I've been told that the producer Saw my video Explain what it is though explain what's going on okay well he's probably going to ring you now okay so the guy that wait hang on we talked about that on the patreon though yeah we did so we have to explain it wait okay okay I'm just like that okay let's just see we didn't talk about so we have to explain this okay all right let's do so like we're talking with Bobby Kennedy yeah but we just got a phone we just got two phone calls each we got a phone call each we just

found out that our TV career is over. Over before it began. See, we were asked to take part in a quiz show okay that's being shot tomorrow. Now, it's like by a big production company. We'll not say who it is. Disney. Disney, yeah, yeah. Michael Eisner contacted us.

No, but so they wanted us to take part in a quiz show, but we had to send in videos of us just like introducing ourselves why we think would be good in the show and a little like funny answer to a question. Yeah, because he wanted us to be like the funny people Yeah, the funny goofballs.

There's going to be some contestants. He was going to get some boring contestants, then get us as the two wise crackers. Yeah, yeah, the wild cards. But we've just each received a phone call separately. We didn't say that we were in the same room together recording. But, yeah, we were told, like, the producer loved our video that, you know, that we were great,

but we're just not right for this because we'd outshine the presenter. We were told we were too good. Too good. We'd actually make everyone look bad. That's right. We make everyone kill themselves Our stars shine so bright The talent is too much

The other way like Let's say if a really hot girl walks in the room All the other girls feel self-conscious Exactly That's how they'd feel with us Yeah Our comedic talent Our sexy 19 year olds basically

That's what it is Our penises are too big Yeah that's pretty much We fuck too good Our dick is too good They got that good dick I'm so happy I'm so happy right now

that we don't have to go and do it. We don't have to work with our retard. Jesus. You know, this is going out. I don't care. Well, like, I'm not going to burn my bridges because, you know, if I get thought of for something else down the line.

Nah. That won't happen, James. Hey, hey, I just got told I was too good, you know? I mean, that's... Look, he works in television. People who work in television don't lie. They're the most honest,

virtuous people on the planet. They're angels. Angels. doing the Lord's work. So we've just been told that we're too, here, look, let's be honest. We're probably going to get a phone call now. I was like, I've designed a whole show just for you guys.

You're going to be the next aunt in deck. You're going to take over this country. Are you ready for it, Brian? You've got to get hooked on pills. I'm already hooked on pills. I'll get hooked on more pills. Oh, so many pills, you won't even believe it. You know what?

They'll call me, they'll call me pharmacy cadden. Cadden the chemist. Because every time I walk, it'll just be. rattled in of pills. Actually, you're right, James. I've burnt my bridges right now. You haven't. You're going to host Celebrity Juice. I am. I'm going to be Keith Lemon. Keith Lemon, too. I'm Keith Lemon's

fat or ugly or more retarded cousin. He's more sexist and racist. You're always crusty, okay? He gets the fake crusties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be the fake Keith Lemon. And you'll be my side show Mel, and I'll just batter you with a shoe. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I'm so happy enough to do that. Oh, so glad, man. I'm a bit disappointing, because I want to get drunk and ruin the show. Yeah, you, no, you genuinely, he was like, you, I, he said to me, right, James, you have to pick me up, because I'm going to be really drunk. You had planned to getting proper drunk and just ruin and everything. I'd be funny if like, it would be funny. If I'm, if I black out in my house, yeah, then you bring me to the show. You're all boozed up. You're like, Oliver Reed. You're just all. And then, like, I wake up and you're there and you're like, Brian, that was not funny. Brian, what did you do? You, you're

knew they were underage. Why did you have that knife? Brian, you know they were filming that whole thing. It was for the podcast. Well, yes, they've asked us back for a part two, but that's neither here or no there. Rock and roll, dude. I said Slagoff. It used to be about the fans.

Yeah, see, we were going to, like, ruin your career for this podcast. Yeah, we already have. So that's great. We both just got a phone call. We didn't tell him that we were sitting beside him. other in the room. Yeah, so we got the same spiel. Yeah, it's like, oh, you're too good, too funny. That's what you're allowed shine the presenter. I wonder who this host is. I don't know. But like, I can't wait till I find out so I can cyber bully him. It was like, yeah, I was told I'd be too good. I'd make you look like a bitch. I should have recorded that. We actually have recorded that call.

See, I turned my phone off, my microphone off just because of like interference. Well, I turn my, we're going to cut out the actual calls. Yeah, we'll cut that out. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I'd love to. Should we even, should we maybe release? this on Patreon as well are you sure well even like out of context because one we were talking about it on Patreon and now we're not yeah but like the people listen to Patreon listen to this as well I don't care yeah stop being gay

yeah I'm being homo I'm being a big gay yeah you're still sad about your TV career you were all you I got I just I made an appointment to get my dentures done and hair plugs you got lip fillers yeah I got like I've got a girdle that you know

I can't really get it to fit but once I do. James got some experimental plastic surgery he looks like an Asian boy now. I look like an Asian boy but just from the waist down

they've actually in order to make my dick look Asian they had to extend it by several inches they've shaved the balls and give them like a nice glossy finish

you know and some tinsel on it as well for the holiday theme yeah so I've got Asian balls and big fake tits big fake ass yeah yeah I'm like

Cardi B God, we were watching me and the girlfriend were watching a show about fake tits I was trying to give her some ideas subtle hints I'm like Christmas is coming Of the fact that you're getting fake tits

It's like you're gonna love it babe I've got big fake titties And it's like it's funny because it's They chopped the meat from my cock And used it to make tits There's this one doctor in L.A and his whole job in the show was like This is dangerous

They're like I don't care I want my titty's bigger Let me tell you something. I'm a goddamn position and I love big titties more than anyway but these tits are too damn big I want my titty's bigger so you better make them bigger.

Yeah he's literally like if you understand these tits can be so big they will actually destroy your lungs. Yeah they will collapse in and of itself you know like how a black hole forms when a star collapses in on itself that's what your tities are going to do. These tits are going to be so

big it will cause a rip in the space time continuum and destroy all life. Yeah, but I want my titty's bigger. Yeah, but I'm like trying out for a celebrity fit club, so I need my tetties bigger. Yeah, but my boyfriend's a prism. Like, he comes out and I look good. You know what I'm saying?

My boyfriend was selling child porn on the internet and I got to look good for my man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So could you get rid of my tits completely? Because he doesn't like them. Yeah. And the doctor's like, that's even worse. There's another thing we watched about fake asses. We've kind of got a pattern here.

Okay, so fake tits, fake asses. It's the same show, same show, okay? And this girl's like, I want a bigger ass. He was like, it's too big. It's too bloody big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, I want it bigger. So to show her how dangerous it was, he gave her fake, like, basically two big cushions on her ass.

Right. And told her to walk around and she was just knocking stuff over. And then when she tried to sit down, she couldn't sit down properly because it's like, you're basically sitting on two fucking beanbags. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's the actual, how do they make the ass bigger? Is it like collagen? It's a mixture of stuff. So there's one way of doing it where it's like,

we're talking with Bobby Kennedy, by the way. Yeah, and it's all relates to Bobby Kennedy. Well, this is how Bobby Kennedy never became president. It all ties in. His brother got shot and he's like, how will I? Yeah, Bobby Kennedy also got a phone call. It's like, we loved you as the president, but you were too good.

So we're going to have to kill you. So now, Zohan, Sirhan is going to come and murder us, Brian. Yeah, so there's a couple of different ways. There's one is the Silicon way. Of course. And then there's another thing, it's like a, coil that actually like I'm not a scientist here

but it makes more fat right yeah I think I have one of those yeah yeah yeah for free it's called my low self-esteem yeah that's the doctor doctor just like you're a bitch you're worthless you start eating cake like thanks doc

shoving donuts in your mouth yeah so it's something where like it causes like something like particles to expand Right. So it's natural. It's just miracle growth. Yeah, yeah.

But it's basically just sacks of water. Wow. That doesn't sound good. Yeah, so it's very easy to burst. Right. So, like, let's say, um, uh, Cam Newton. He plays for the Patriots. Of course.

Yeah, okay. I'm an idiot for not knowing that. No. Everyone knows who you're talking about right now. Okay, let's make it UK, okay. Okay. Let's say, uh, Harry Kane. Who's Harry Kane?

Oh, he's a spur. Okay, Wayne Rooney. Wayne Rooney. Okay, come on. Yeah, let's speak on their level. We have to appeal to the troglodytes here. Now, Wayne Rooney's got a good kick, all right? Yeah, yeah.

Now, if you get a big fake ass and that Wayne kicker, Cibblewey. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Pop goes the weasel. Yeah, a pot. Everyone's going to get wet and not in a good way. I'll tell you what, if Wayne Rooney kicked the ass, he drowned.

Okay. Because there's so much water in it. Wow. Yeah. There you go now. So Bobby Kennedy. Yeah, Bobby Kennedy. All right.

So our careers are over. Let's get back to Bobby Kennedy. When everything goes wrong in our life. lives, we can always go back to the Kennedys. That's where the real truth lies. They'll never let me down. Never. Never. I can't, I'm actually so happy that we don't have to do this show anymore. Yeah, it's very

relieved. I'm relieved. This whole week is kind of being ruined because I mean like, oh, on Friday I'll do this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't. I can just watch basketball highlights all day. Sweet. I can do the Dolly Parton jerk-off challenge and get hard, because I'm not a, I'm a man.

Dolly Parton's gay. I'm watching the Kobe Bryant jerk-off challenge. it's not as fun no no anyway okay a lot more crying in that one yeah

yeah well you know so here's some interesting stuff so Bobby Kennedy's son tinks his assassination is suspicious

yeah Bobby Kennedy Jr he's like a big like figure in the conspiracy world well here's the thing he's big into the conspiracies and like anti-vaccines stuff like that

he's big into like you know like you know like you know vaccines give you autistic cancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's also against greenhouse gases, so, you know. So he's like a believer in climate change. Yeah, he's big into climate change. Okay.

Yeah, he thinks it's all, but he's like, electric cars are good. Okay, interesting. So, you know, you can't paint everyone with the same brush. No, I can't. Yeah. But I will. But yeah, he is, when it comes to this, he's like, my daddy was killed by the government. Well, aren't there a lot of, like, weird things surrounding the Bobby Kennedy assassination?

So here's one, okay? Yeah. He was shot in the front, the bullet wounds are in the back. Okay. Yeah, that's a bit. He was shot 13 times, the gun holds eight bullets. Okay, yes. Yeah.

Now, the thing is, like, you bring up those, like, that's just some, like, it's the same as the JFK assassination. There are just some very weird things and inconsistencies in the official narrative. But when you mention that, people. People just immediately go, conspiracy fairish do it. It's like, well, no, could we not at least, like, investigate? I mean, like, it's not that crazy you think that, like, there could have been a second guy shooting. Yeah.

It was in the, basically, they were leading him out in the hallway. Yeah. I think it was in the kitchen, something like that, all right? It was in a hotel, wasn't it? It was in a hotel, yeah. I think, uh... What's the thing was Zirhan, Zirhan, though? Wasn't he, like, affiliated with some, like, royal family in, like, Saudi Arabian?

His whole thing was, yes, he had connections to that, all that stuff. And also, I think he was, like, part of the free. Masons or like the order of racool Oh Ratch We should do some Freemason episodes That'll be fun

Yeah But you know what When you get into it You're like Let's just focus Let's not do a silly podcast We're too busy Killing babies

Yeah Yeah Yeah That's right That's what I was hoping I could join the Freemasons After getting this quiz show

I thought I was gonna make it To the big time You were too good James You make the other free masons Feel bad You'd kill the babies Too good Yeah

I'd be too full I'd be like you know I'd be real goofy way. I'd be like Chevy Chase when you play Gerald Ford. I'd go to stab the baby but then I'd slip on a banana peel and everyone would be jealous of how

how, you know, the charisma that I show. Well, all I was saying is, it's not that hard to think that like two people could have shot him in a busy room and next to a guy pulled out, it got... Or that there were some kind of, you know, it wasn't just the lone gunman theory, but there was somebody behind it.

Well, here's a theory. Okay. Now, there's a theory, and actually, um, there's a documentary called RFK Must Die. Right. That's by an Irish filmmaker about this. It was 13 quid on Vimeo. I didn't pay for it. Okay.

I was like, don't need to do my own research. Yeah. Don't want to support Irish talent. No, no. So, the theory is, so Sirhan Sirhan says he does not remember the assassination. Right, yes. Now, he remembers wanting to do it because he's support of Israel. Bobby Kennedy support Israel.

Right, okay, okay. he didn't like that sure and in his diaries he wrote jfk must die lots of times okay okay okay bit of a red flag that is a bit a little bit suspicious i'm now detect i'm no i'm no i'm no frost i'm no inspector morse but that is suspicious i'm no taggered yeah okay there's been another kennedy murder sir again not again so the room the theory is okay there was a girl with a polka dot dress ah yeah and that was like a pavlovian response It was a Manchurian candidate to where he saw, he saw that. Yeah.

And then he was like, I gotta kill Bobby. Now, there's an elderly couple at the time, okay, like, streets away. Right. Okay. On a different side of town, they reported to a policeman that afterwards they saw a guy with a nice suit and a girl in the polka dot dress yelling, we killed Kennedy, we killed Kennedy. Jesus. Yeah.

That's weird. And they reported that to the policeman. Yeah. news, they didn't have their phones to check that shit. Yeah. They wouldn't have known. No, you're right. Yeah, they were on the other side of town.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, see, it's interesting now, the Manchurian candidate MK Ultra thing, because they do say that about Jack Ruby as well. When Jack Ruby shot Oswald, he had absolutely no memory of it. And when he was in prison, right? He was in prison, he was totally like, he was very with it, cognate, you know, he knew what was going on, blah, blah, blah.

He was visited by Jolly West, who was a psychiatrist. who has been irrefutably linked to MK Ultra and CIA and stuff like that. Jolly West went into him and after that one little meeting, Jack Ruby had a full psychotic break when completely mental and just like bad shit crazy and then died a couple of years later. So like there is a weird like MK Ultra, you know, thing attached to both of these assassinations. Here's another thing that'll get your prick hard.

Oh yeah. Your little prick hard. Can't even get any harder than it already is. Yeah, okay. that's another thing we said James your dick will get too hard it'll make the presenter jealous so Bobby Kennedy

did not like the Warren Commission well yeah he said it was shoddy sure he Bobby Kennedy suspected something was wrong with the report on his brother's murder and he suggested it might have been

someone on the inside oh yeah well they do like that's another thing like the Warren Commission immediately as soon as they released their findings or the official narrative of what happened so many people

like kind of challenged it and it's like there are a lot of inconsistencies here but they really shut it down and it's like no we're done we're not talking about it anymore but yeah there's a lot of weird shit around the Kennedy assassinations

and again I will admit yes I do have a proclivity for conspiracy for some reason I just find it kind of intriguing and fun to go down these rabbit holes, but you can't deny there's some weird shit surrounding...

Man, I heard something very interesting a while ago where they were saying that, like, in the 80s, 90s, even the 70s, conspiracy theories were leftist thing. Yeah, absolutely. It was like, the guys are in power are like the Bushes, junior and senior. Yeah. It's the public

in power and it's the liberal guys who were like, oh, it's all the conspiracy. Yeah, like the 9-11 truth movement initially. Like they were all, you know, really hard leaning left people who are like anti-Bush is like Bush brought down the towers man and even like a lot of conspiracy theories it's like Gulf of Tonkin yeah stuff that actually is real

I don't trust the government or like things like oh the police are there's things there's a thing called police brutality oh conspiracy theory systemic racism oh your tinfoil hat yeah yeah and then especially because of in the last couple of years especially with the internet and stuff like that, it's really swung the other way. Yeah, I know. Anybody who, like, in any way utters a conspiracy theorist

immediately gets painted or alt-right white power, neon-Nat. But the problem is there's a lot of white power people. Yeah, there is. But they're all retards. They're like, they're lizards, man. I'm telling you right now. They's bloody, that queen Elizabeth,

she's a lizard who eats children. I've seen it. I read about it. I know. They're either lizards or even worse. Black. Black, gay, lizard. Lizards, that's all they is, buddy.

Let me tell you. I read some literature. That would blow your friggin mind. And now they're trying to ruin Millwall FC. They got rid of Apooh. The black gay lizards got rid of Apooh. Now, I subpoenaed my petalone from the Simpsons. That's a fact.

You can look that up, all right? Hank Azaria, he ain't never going to work again. Hank's dead. They killed him. They killed him and Paul McCartney. them's clones walking around you gotta get with the times buddy

so yeah yeah now that's what I I'm always afraid that I come across as is one of those times you don't you don't that's only the people the voice in your head tell you that the sexy voices in my head ooh who should I wish it was another

Bobby Kendi to kill yeah yeah well there actually is but he's a cool he's on our side remember how earlier we were talking about like um like rape roleplay I like role play was like I'm Zirhan Zirhan My cock is Zohan Zirhan

Your pussy's Bobby Kennedy Yeah bang Bang bang But girls don't like it apparently Called me weird Bank shaming 13 shots Even though my dick only has eight

My dick only has eight sperm bullets But I jizzed 13 times I watched You do the math I watched two films on Bobby Kennedy Yeah One is called RFK It's a kind of a shitty TV movie

Right Kind of like Oliver Stone's JFK But not as good No, because this is a straight-up bio-pick Okay, right It's the assassination is just at the end And that's it All right

He had a little whoopsie And that's about his life And he talks to the ghost Of JFCK a lot in it Oh, that's dumb Yeah And it's just about him being like Oh no

I gotta be president now This is hard And then You know, he meets fucking JF Not JFK Martin Luther King Yeah

He's like, checking my phone for when this producer is going to ring and take me to Hollywood. He meets, uh, he meets, uh, Martin Lue King. He's like, geez, you know, maybe I can learn a thing from you. What it is, my brother? Uh, please don't do that. Yeah. Okay. And I watch another film called Bobby. Bobby. Directed by, you're going like this, Emilio Estevez. Oh. And written by Emilio Estabez. I like that. Mighty Ducks. Bobby. Bobby is a different take on it. Because it's about the day of the assassination. Right.

And it's about everyone's lives in the hotel. Okay. So... Chambermaids and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Showing them as people. Ugh. Make me sick.

Like, there's a whole section, okay. It's about the guys, the staff in the kitchen, okay? Yeah, yeah. And it's Lawrence Fishburn. Oh, right. And I think Michael Pina. Is that as me? Oh, yeah, I like Michael Pina.

Yeah, yeah. And it's about the racial tension. He's like, yo, why ain't your brother, amigo? Why ain't your amigo, brother? I mean, let me talk to you for a second, Jake. You, motherfucker! I'm doing a very accurate representation there. And it is like, you know, like, yo, go eat your tacos, motherfucker.

Yeah, well, you go eat your fried chicken, motherfucker. And then like, bang, bang, gee, Bobby Kennedy's dead. We should learn a lesson. Yo, I just learn something in my mind. No, Lawrence Fishburn does a big speech in the film where it's like, man you gotta let the white man tinky helping because that's the only way the white man

gonna learn so let him tinky helping ain't gonna affect me I don't know what you mean when you talk like that break but he's confusing and I feel tired and I think you need to stop talking Bobby I recommend actually no don't watch it

no I won't I refuse even though you love Emilio Estevez I don't watch this I love Emilio Estabez the best of the sheens the best director ever the best of the sheens yeah actually yeah okay so

what are we talking about Bobby Kennedy yeah Bobby Kennedy so they the interview they interviewed his son Bobby Kennedy Jr yeah that's how we got into this yeah yeah yeah yeah

they interview Bobby Kennedy Jr and you know he has his theories what's his theory who does he think the second gunman but does he know like who no he doesn't actually know he's not like

it was Jerry but does he have a theory as to who like who is behind What was the motive? No, he doesn't have a, like, a set theory where he was like, it was, this guy, but it was, he's not like,

it's cause the CIA wanted to shut him up. Right. Kenneys were troublemakers because they were too sexy. Yeah. Too talented. Well, I'll tell you what, okay. Bobby Kennedy was very anti-war.

Right. So put two and two together, my friend. Yeah. The war's making lots of, lots of money, lots of fucking mulele. Moola, and then you got this Irish fucking cook. This fucking.

Paddy Wack Potato eating Mick Mother fucker Paddy, Paddy Mick Paddy Mick Scum Yeah Fucking talking like

Ooh we shouldn't have war Bang bang Skitty butt Yeah Man's gonna get Go Get me And you're like

You're like You're like fucking One CIE agents Had to put on a Pocod dress Yeah I mean Yeah

Like he's just It's just like Bill From McCountain Couldn't we just Get a woman To wear this dress Shut up Bill You whore

Put it on And now we all got Take a go on you yeah for realism so you can get in the character yeah do it for your country bill open your asshole but they did a report uh we're talking to um this is like cbs news you're talking to bobby kendy junior all right i'll show you this clip

they cut back to like um the woman who did the interview and she was like this was really important to me because my father was actually on the scene that night and he was a medical doctor and he couldn't save him and I just think it's so powerful that I the daughter of Bobby the daughter of the man who couldn't save

Bobby Kendi got to meet the son of Bobby Kendi and it was so powerful like everything comes full circle and everyone on the show was like that's so powerful that's so you get raised for that yeah yeah

bitch you bitch makes me angry fucking cunt fucking dumb cunt. Get cancer, you cunt. You big gay, black lizard. That's what you are. She actually was black, so take that back. Oh, oh, too. Oh, no,

that could be problematic, Brian. Just call her... A big gay lizard? Yeah, just a big gay lizard. Don't bring race into it. Yeah, let's not muddy the water's here. Oh, no, not like that. Oh, boy. Oh, is it warm in here? I'm sweating. Oh, we're getting very silly here. This has been a

very silly episode. But yeah, that's Bobby Kennedy. That's all. Oh, and he's also banging Marilyn Monroe. They both were, weren't they? And Sam Giacana? The rumour is, okay, that, you know when JFK got show? Yeah.

You know Jackie? She was feeling a little sad. Oh. A little, a picture this, if you will. Oh, I'm so sad. My husband's gone. Wow, you look a lot like my husband. Come to the bed, Bobby.

Oh, really? Come to the bed. Yeah. I'll close my eyes pretend you're a black hooker. Wait, so they reckon Jackie O was... Jackie was owing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just love the Irish cock.

Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Most women. Most women that I've ever... And men. Most women, if you ask him, do not want... You know the Irish curse? What's that? Small Dix? Yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah. You ask any American woman, they were going to be like, oh, Irish people have small dicks. I heard it. That's what my daddy says. But you know, it's good, then you can go. Well, I could prove. you're wrong and then you get rested don't you no no it's a bit of fun just a bit of fun brian bit of crack kiss me i'm irish and then you hit them it's st patrick's day i can take it out

in st paul's cathedral yeah yeah tell you what this is yeah your mouth is saint patrick time to make this snake disappear yeah yeah and then when you get rested it's like it was the girl in the polka-doth dress she tricked me because i was auntie war. It was Zirhan, Sirhan. Because I was against the Vietnam War in 2020. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. That's Bobby Kennedy. Yeah, I often wonder why this show doesn't have mainstream appeal. I wonder why they won't let us on TV. Ah, yeah. It's all good fun. Okay, what do you want to talk about next? Do you want to talk with some Irish politics or you want to talk about the NBA? I think let's keep it in the theme of the Irish, because we're talking about the Kennedys, so let's go Irish.

Brian Stanley Never heard of This story No Well this has been A tweet storm Oh A Twitter storm

Yeah okay Now he's been accused Of being offensive Racist Homophobic What All your favorite things Oh yeah

Yeah okay So god My dick got so hard He's a shin fein politician A TD For now He might have stepped down soon Right

He's a shinfane politician We'll stay with this story All night If we have to He's been accused Of these awful things and

oh there is oh yeah that is bad you're right yeah yeah that's bad now Fina Fahl

and Fina Gale trying to use this as a way to attack Sinn Fane as a whole Oh they're like

you're all like this You're all So I'm gonna read out the tweets Okay And I want you Now let's Okay

You're Karen now Okay I'm Karen Yeah okay Okay Now we're gonna have a thing

called the Offensive meter And you have to tell me one to five One being not offensive and five

being really offensive how offensive is this aren't the Karen's kind of the racist ones though aren't they I don't even know it's a very vague term it's basically a way to be sexist yeah perfect anyone who makes videos about that

sexist yeah my Christmas Karen video didn't do well at all hasn't even got a thousand views pathetic actually is minus views it does yeah all right so the first tweet was about to kill Michael

ambush. Okay. Now that is, you don't know, it was an ambush during the Troubles, where the IRA killed 17 members of the Royal Irish Constabular. Constabulary. Constabulary. Royal Ulster

constabulary. Probably that's of the police. RUC. The fucking Peelers. The Peelers. Okay. Fucking palers. I had the old man say Peelers recently. That's a great term. They should bring that back. So listen, let's break it down.

Peelers. IRA killed 17 members of the motherfucking peelers The motherfucking pigs The Northern Irish Pigs Okay Now he tweeted about this During the anniversary

He said The British The IRA taught the British Army The cost of occupying Ireland Pity their slow learners Oh I like that Yeah so you like that

I like it personally Yeah it gets me Gets me all hot and bothered Okay Now they were like this shows the Sinn Féin are still supporting terrorism. You shouldn't make light of this. They, of course, talked to one woman

who's like, my husband was a peeler and he died. My husband was a paler and, yeah, you know, he wasn't a bad man. Sure, he liked to eat children's faces but it was a bit of crack. Yeah. She's like, it's sad he died and didn't get a chance to go to America.

He should have loved in L.A. He would have made it big. He had a screenplay. He was going to pitch to Don's Simpson and that would have been huge. So what do you think about that? No problem there. Honestly, personally, I think it's pretty funny.

I like it. But let's be, you know, from a rational perspective, he is a member of the government. Obviously, that's a problematic tweet because you're being, ha, ha, the Brits got shot. Yeah. Which personally, I agree with the sentiment. But you can't see.

He can't be tweens. He can't tweet that and expect not to get some blowback. It's like, look, if the T-Shuck tweeted, like, I like, I hate tans and I love cans. People would be like, come on, you're a T-Shok here. Yeah. I mean, we agree with what you're saying, but you shouldn't say it. Here's tweet number two.

This might change your tune, okay? Maybe. This was the day after Leo Varadcro's elected T-Shok. Oh, I like where this is going. It said, yippie for the Tory. Now, he spelled four, the number four. So, yippee for the Tory. Tori's reference to the fact that he has, like, political ideologies

that would, like, align with, like, the Tories in England Sure, yeah Thanks for breaking that down for me I wouldn't

understood it Yeah Yippy for the Tory You can do what you want in bed But don't look for a pay rise

The next morning Oh wait No, come on That's a little bit Yeah That's on the line There isn't it That's a real

He is That's a homophobic thing right You think so Yeah Look at the cock Here Walk

Lib tired Well don't get me wrong Varadkar is a big black gay lizard. I mean, I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to deny that. But again, yeah, look, yeah. It's a bit, it's a bit, yeah.

Not exactly, what was his defense? So when he, like, you can do what you want in bed, but don't look for a pay rise in the morning. Now, when he says, is he saying, oh, who he gets into bed with politically, but really, it's like, maybe that's what he meant. Doesn't sound great, though.

No, but that's the thing. Immediately, it sounds like it's a homophobic thing, you know? And he probably, like, if he wasn't aware of that, which personally I think he was and he knew what he was saying but you know if that was an oversight in his part it was a very stupid one and again he is in a position of public power you tweet shit like that people are going to come after you for it so I have no sympathy for this guy he seems like a bit of an idiot okay here's the last one okay this was at the height just when like Crohn was taken over COVID was taken on people like Jesus this disease is bad Jesus somebody's got the sniffles yeah He was on a local radio show and he said that we shouldn't be importing Chinese chicken. Okay.

Chickade of Chinese the Chinese chicken. He was just quoting the bare naked ladies. And that he wouldn't eat Chinese anymore. Right. Well, that's just fucking stupid. That's just an idiotic, silly, ignorant thing to say. He said, I won't be eating Chinese people anymore. I won't be eating Chinese bush anymore.

I ain't going to lick out no Chinese pussy. I love it if he just said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people were like, well... I mean, he was licking it before, so... He was, yeah. No, look, this guy is a fucking idiot, to be honest. He's tweeting very stupid, ignorance statements,

and any repercussions that come his way, he deserves, to be honest. Well, it got worse, okay? So these things on your own, on its own, okay? It's like, all right, you can kind of like, oh, he's one guy. Yeah, again, look, I, you know, I hear that, and I'm like, I'm not like, oh my God, outrageous. I don't give a fuck. There's just stupid things that he said.

You jumped on the table. I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, it's like Tom and Jerry. I'm like, Lordy, Lord, there's a mouse up in this motherfucker. See, now, I can say that because I'm not a politician. Yeah. So nobody's going to try and cancel me, you know? You've already been canceled this episode.

I've been canceled before I was a thing. That's why I loved the idea of like, I never even got the chance to be a husband. I'm a never was Like I was thinking about this recently Like um Like let's say you get cancelled Like something really bad happens Like get me too

Whatever like that It's like oh you You won't have a career And no one will like you That's right now That is my life Yeah That is my life

Oh no the horror Okay so Like a lot of things It's not the crime itself But the cover up That is the problem So what happened is A woman who was a member

Sinn Féin Not like a TD Just a member okay Right right right I think she was a black girl maybe mixed race okay she was tweeting about how

Sinn Féin were bad Right This guy should get fired Okay A member of Sinn Fain Came around her house Was knocking on the door While she was in

Zoom class She's in college Okay Right Knock on the door Like I want to talk to her I want her to delete those tweets Oh my God

See that's Yeah That's like harassment And like You know What's the term Fucking like Intimidation

Witness intimidation Or whatever or like that's sending somebody round of the gap to like put the shits up or like, do you know what I mean? She's 22. Yeah, that's not on. That's a real.

That's a no-no, ladies. Okay. If your man is intimidating 22-year-old girls. If your man is then around Sinn Féin, holidays, to be fucking with your shit,

that's a no-no girl. You need to get his ass and kick it to the curb. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, that's a big no-no. And you shouldn't do it,

Ryan. It's a big, no, no, no. I want to harass women. Look, I know you like to drive me around to women's houses and tell me to go up with like a balaclava and have my cock out. You don't ask questions. I don't, well, it's a bit of a goof. I love jackass.

You know what, how much I love jackass. Yeah, you're like, I'm like, Steve-o. I'm Steve-o. I'm Chris Pontius. I'm the party boy. And I've got a knife. Yeah, yeah. They use on yourself, by the way.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm not a weirdo. I just cut myself while my cock's out. The other way like Animal House He's looking through the window Yeah Yeah It would be so funny

He's just self-harming as well Yeah Yeah Then they'd be like Oh he's troubled Let's invite him in And suck him off I know physical comedy Brian

Yeah Self harming naked In a woman's window That's a laugh riot So So yeah It became a big thing And then of course

The girl got lots of racial abuse Online They're like you Shut up You Yeah You're not loyal to the party You bitch

Yeah Yeah And then it became a whole thing And of course then, Fianna Fah and Fianna Gale used that as a way to ignore

the fact that they weren't paying nurses, remember that? Yeah. Yeah, it was around that time as well. Right. So it was like, it was perfect spin. Right. It was like, we gave

Sinn Féin a little bit of rope to hang themselves and they took more rope and they did it and there was a big show. And they asphy-wanked themselves in public. They did a full Michael Hutchins.

Cock out, tangerine in the mouth, the works. And, you know, the spin team were like, perfect. This thing writes itself Yeah

That's Brian Stanley Well he sounds like a fucking fool A big old nin can poop If you ask me Brian Well you're going off the rails now I'm wild enough I'm going crazy We're at 57 minutes

We're going to cut out the phone calls though Oh yeah you're right But that yeah Okay yeah so we got like another 10 minutes maybe I like we have a little like narrative now If you listen to the podcast Yeah it's like You see our lives getting

better for a second and then immediately it all crumbles and falls apart. So I'll release these in order so someone be like, hey, Brian James are doing okay. And then like the next week to get the episodes like oh I know we've lost the show hope that'll be hope they won't take it too bad

in the next week no episode. They're like oh maybe you're taking a break for Christmas a month later. I don't think they're coming back. And that smell from their apartment is getting worse. Oh no. no oh yeah i think if i died in my place uh people wouldn't because the smell is so bad

in your gaff already yeah yeah yeah they'd be like why does it smell so good in here did brian get some air fresheners somebody cooking up something good yeah yeah okay um yeah it's so funny that we just get the phone call it's like you're too good for the show now I'm going to delete your number and you'll never hear from me again but good worth That's like someone going like Yeah

I could have been a porn star Yeah But they said I'd intimidate all the girls Because I'm too sexy Hucks too big Actually here's something now We could finish up on For this thing

We had to send like the producer guy Or whatever he was I'm not even sure Oh let's reenact the videos Well I'm not going to reenact the video But we had to send him a video and I made the point to which you agreed

I come across very camp in my video Yeah you get real gay on camera I do don't I Like I've acted in stuff before And even when I'm on stage There's like a campiness that comes across I know you do the hand a bit

Yeah I do I'm very handsy You also full on suck off Yeah well that's true Well I'm a performer One of your bits I'm an artist And I love this bit

Is where you You just jump into the crowd With your mouth an asshole open and just like cocks every cock in every orifice I take a cock in the mouth

the ass the ear everywhere it's a real showstopper it's hard to follow so like you get on stage and it comes to do a Bukaki thing yes that's right like who's going to come on me

boys Bukaki extravagance and then like someone has to follow and the stage is all sticky yeah yeah and they've just got a ukulele it's like here's a funny song I wrote yeah so we have to send videos

into production team And I know, and people have pointed this out to me before. I am quite camp when I perform. And I don't know what that is. I think that's like, like, it's a nervousness thing. Yeah. It's like, I'm not, I'm not a scary man. That's right.

Because you know what it is? I'm a big, I'm a big guy. Let's be honest. I'm six-put. You know, I'm a big burly chap. I'm a big oaf, basically. So if I get up there and I'm, I have the aesthetic of like a 4chan, proud boy, teaky torch, driving a car. It's not that bad.

Okay, but I'm, you know... You know what I think would suit you? What? Sports, like, jerseys. Sports jerseys? Yeah. Or, like, hockey jerseys? I think a hockey, like, Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith.

I think you just become Kevin Smith. Yeah. I wear a hockey jersey and a baseball cap, and I'm 63. No, if you just change up a bit where, like, you're wearing, like, a Marvel t-shirt. See, I hate Marvel. No, it's not about... It's not about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about tricking people and thinking you're nice.

and then bring them back to your place. I've got pink Doc Martins. I'm a nice guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all about the surprise. Yeah, yeah. So I do the kind of campy thing, but it's like a performance,

like I'm being kind of silly and over the top, you know, because the thing is in real life, when you just talk to me, like when people meet me is like, so you're a comedian, I'm like, yeah, I'm a comedian. I'm like a real, fronpy, miserable, cynical-looking prick. So when I get up there,

It's ready. Tadda! Hello, boys! It's Catted! Oh, my God. You're shaking your little ass around. Yeah, I'm in a little daisy-ducaut pants. There's a bunch of soldiers watching.

It's a USU. I just thought I'd let you, remind you boys what you're fighting for. Ring-d-da-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-ring-ring goes the trolley. Ring-ming-bing goes the bell. Ah, yeah. So it's weird now. I come across kind of gay. But I'm cool of it.

We all do that a little bit. I'm okay with it personally. Would you want to go the other way where you get even more manly on stage? Yeah, I'm like, all right, lads, do you know when you're with a bird and you're fucking puncher in the mouth?

And then she starts giving it all that. You're like, shut your fucking gob, because I've got a knife. Oh, night. And all the lies are recording. Cardin, Cardin. And I'm trying to watch the footy,

but she's crying because I hit her with a, fucking frying pan well if you did the sausages better they'd be no fucking problem am I right yeah

let me on your quiz show yeah see if I went that way I'd love that it's like you're on the quiz show okay and you're like when did World War II

start then you just give it large I give it I go all Frank Skinner oh the birds do you know when the birds

are being like daft yeah which World War two every time my wife fucking talks her holocaust is what I call a cunt you know Hitler right his missus killed herself

nice wouldn't mind a bit of that take the signoid you bitch yeah Lads Lads Lads Lads Yeah and then we get hired by LAD Bible No zoo magazine Yeah they bring back

Zoom magazine these are the guys that are going to resurrect zoo magazine yeah okay fuck i think we're uh i think we're already done there that was fun though we that you know what that episode took a lot of twists and turns that even we weren't expected yeah yeah i mean that was like a that was a david fincher film right there just went all over the place we didn't know what was going on nobody saw it coming we're talking with cori in the house cori on the house robert kennedy uh gay lizards it went everywhere yeah and i loved it Loved every minute of it

Yeah It's this free as well Yeah That's for free people So if you haven't Subscribe to the Patreon Just think about What you're missing out

If you haven't subscribed To the Patreon You're wanting you're gay lizard Yeah well You're just a fool You're a foolish gay lizard You're big gobs shoy Can you live with it?

No Either subscribe to the Patreon or kill yourself Those are your options We put the shit episodes For free Yeah Yeah

It's And the shit episodes On Patreon Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fucking hell. God.

You know what? I like the idea of like Paul Marsh's wife is looking at the credit card bill. It's like, what is this, Brian and James fuck each other? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. We ruin marriages. Yeah, we ruin lives. That's what we do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like the idea, as he said, like, you know, the way sometimes they're like, on your car to be billed as like, you know, um... I wonder how it does show up. Does it show up as... No, it comes up as Patreon. Oh, okay. Yeah.

But you know, way, like, sometimes... I think it's like a... This is like an older thing. It's not really now. But, like, say if you're, like, ordering a Girls Gone Wild DVD. Yeah. It wouldn't come up on the credit cards.

Like Girls Gone Wild. It come up as like, you know... Like the production company or something? Yeah, but it would just come up like, Star Tits Productions. Gay Lizard Tits Productions. Yeah. And the wife's like, oh, good.

Oh, thank God. It's not poured. Yeah, yeah. Uh, at least not... straight porn, am I right, ladies? Woo! Yeah. This is great now.

No, that was fun. I think we'll do one more after this. Do one more after this. That's four in a day. I'll have a coffee after this to keep me pepped. You're on the monster. I'm the coffee. Yeah, I'm going to go crazy.

I'm putting my life at risk for you guys. Yeah, he is. He brought me some fake ador all the other week. They made me all dizzy. And then he took a film of me, but I'm not allowed to watch it. Yeah, it's for your own good. Just know that the scars haven't healed. Yeah. Well, you're all passed out when filming you. It's like, it's for your doctor, James.

Yeah, it's for Dr. Larry Nassar. I'm trying out for the Olympics. Dr. Star Tits. Yeah. Yeah, Larry Nassar. Yeah. I've got to get James ready for the gymnast team. I just show up on the leotard with a black eye. I don't think I should be here. Do it. You want to be on the quiz show? You're watching movie quiz show No

By Robert Redford No Oh it's really good It's basically it's Ralph Fines And someone else And who is it now Doesn't matter Basically there's like a

Like a hot American guy On the quiz show And then there's like a smart Kind of ugly looking guy Right And they're like Hey ugly guy Just we'll pay you extra

Just fail on purpose Because The handsome guy Yeah People want him to win because he's handsome. Right, right, right. And that could have been us. Yeah.

We're like, we're too good on the quiz. Yeah. And they're like, hey, just lose on purpose. Yeah. Because you're too sexy and intelligent. Too smart, too intelligent. Yeah. We're too everything.

Too everything. We've got to start putting acid on our faces. Just to get some work in this town, we're going to have to like slice our faces up with Stanley Blades. Just to get a bit part on Bridget and Eamon. It was worth it. I got to meet Bernard He didn't look at me But still, it was fun

He still fucked me though Oh, I'm a lucky man He used my mouth as a fucking toilet Okay, let's end it there Yeah, let's end it there That was so fun Goodbye, please hire us, Bridget and Eamon We love it