Brian and James Fuck Each Other - UNLOCKED : JINGLE ALL THE WAY

Episode Date: December 25, 2020

Cause the year has been so shit we wanted to give you a little present this Christmas. Here's our FULL Jingle all the Way Patreon episode. For more episodes like this and to hear our pitch for Jingle all the Way 3 subscribe to our Patreon now. https://www.patreon.com/BrianAndJamesFuckEachOther

Look, let's cheer yourselves up. Yeah, okay, a bit too grim. We're going to brighten up your day because guess what, guys, it's the festive season. Christmas is coming up, guys, okay? And we need a good Christmas now more than ever because corona has ruined everything and I'm very depressed.

But don't worry. We're going to cheer away those festive blues. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, because people are like, oh, Christmas isn't even going to happen this year. There's no Christmas magic. Hang on to your hat, love. Don't worry.

Brian, it's like one of those old Brian and James Save Christmas Yeah, Santa, come on You gotta stop molesting the reindeer and give the kids their presents. I don't give a fuck no more. Come here Rudolph, your little fucking who

Yeah, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer I fucked him in the age The elf was like, what happened to Mrs. Claus? And you just see some legs sticking out of a box. She ain't no shit, she has too many questions you know what I'm talking about

she ain't moving no more you know what it'd be good if he was a pito right because they're elves so they're all like a hundred years old but they look like kids yeah so it's perfect it's the best of boat world can't get me they're little and scared but they're 93

so it's great you don't know why they're pissing themselves but they're pissing themselves they also have Alzheimer's wow that is perfect for a pito a child with Alzheimer's I actually like the podcast. Just, why do the fans listen?

I don't know. I actually liked it when you talked about raping elves. Because they're saying what we're all thinking. It's something I've always taught about. I can actually relate to you guys. Yeah, yeah. So, imagine this, okay. Okay.

It's Christmas Day. Christmas Day. And the dad can't afford presents for his kids and the mother's sick, okay? She won't get out of page. Yeah, okay. And the kids are all sick as well, right? Yeah. And the house is getting foreclosed on.

So, like, the repo man's taking him with a Christmas treat. On Christmas Day. Is there a repo man working on Christmas Day? Yeah, it's his busiest day. For the love of the job. Yeah, this is his favorite time of year. Yeah. Reverse Santa.

Yeah. Okay. And it's like, everything's shit. But then they're like, hang on. Let's listen to the Brian James podcast. Yeah. They're talking about jingle all the way. Jingle all the way.

A festive movie classic. Now, I love this movie as a kid. I loved it as well. Yeah, it's great. I actually loved this movie so much. I'd forgotten. And then watching it, I got filled with this thing that's called Joy. Bad for you.

I told you to stay away from that. No, no good. I'm addicted now. I'm addicted to the good feeling of Arnold. I'll beat that out of you. Arnold gives me a good feeling. But you know, actually even as an adult there's stuff to enjoy with this because you got Sinbad and Phil

Hartman. Yeah. Two great comedic actors, you know, it's a lot of fun here. So a bit of background on the film, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This came together very quickly because Arnold was trying to make Planet of the Apes. Really? Yeah. Okay. He would have starred in Planet the Apes. Right. A remake. Interesting. And someone fucked up and made Jingle all the way by me. They were trying to make Planet Eapes and it fell through. Okay. Just couldn't get the right director. Eventually She became a Tim Burton movie And we all know how that Was that was Mark Wahlberg

Yeah yeah yeah Okay That's how that turned out Okay So they're a freaking ape Yeah okay So we're like Oh shit we got Arnold for three months

What are we going to do Christmas sales Okay let's do a Christmas movie That's interesting And Arnold's like yeah I love doing comedy This was like his fourth comedy Yeah

Yeah Okay And he's great a comedy He actually is Yeah Like you know Better than he should be You know what I mean

There's something so charming Because lots of times In this he's like It's not really written well a lot of things like I can't believe that or oh yeah it's

Christmas you know it's it's a family Christmas movie so the writers weren't like is this dialogue too exposition or do you think like nobody's thinking about that there's actually so many scenes of him talking to himself being like

I gotta get this tire or else my son won't like me I forgot to get the turbo man if that bitch won't get off my back every day Nick, Nick, yeah, yeah But he's just like kind of talking out loud

Yeah, he's doing little soliloquies And you're like, this is charming This is so charming Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So let's just start off of this film, okay? Okay Now, there's a little kid who loves Turbo Man Yes, he's like Turbo Man

or love it so much. Turbo Man is like an action hero figure, superhero and there's like shows on it and he's a, it's turbo time That's his catchphrase Yeah, not to be confused with Turmo Man from my hero No.

Okay. I know a lot of disappointed my family fans were like, finally, it's been brought to the big screen where it deserves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's Turbo Man, okay? Not Thermo Man. And this little kid.

What a shit, Niam. They really did not in any way try with that show. It's a great show. It's a great show. Thermo Man. Okay, so Turbo Man. Yeah. This kid, I think his name's Jamie.

Jamie, yeah. Played by Jake Lloyd. Yeah, Jake Lloyd. Oh, great actor. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah, he had, uh, it all, it was all roses for him. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, he won the Oscar this year, I think. Uh, so he basically looks at Turbo Man as like a fader figure. Yeah. Cause his actual fader, it's always in the office. He's a workaholic. Yeah, yeah. What is he like a mattress salesman or something?

Something like that. It's like the mattress king, I think he's called or his business is called. I'm not sure. Something like that. It is funny. Whenever we see Arnold in like a non-action movie, you're like, why is this big monster working in an office? Yeah, working in an office.

Hey, Jane Lee, thank you for the coffee. And he's like, his shirt rips from his bice. Yeah, like, what a huge monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just like, I got to get that Peterson account. I'm just a working, Steve. Yeah, yeah. Why is he so big?

Hey, guys, going to the Christmas party. Yeah, I know. So he's always working, okay? Workaholic. And his secretary's like, ah, your son's karate class in 20 minutes. Like, I'll make it. And he's, like, on the phone. more deals. I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it. He runs off screen and she goes,

he's not going to make it. Yeah. Oh, classic. This is a film. This film is where I learned the art of comedy, Brian. The art of comedy, the art of writing, film making all of it. Yeah. All of the, all of the feathers in my cap and strings in my bow. So Arnold's driving along, okay, he's like, I got to make it. I got it to the metal. But you get stopped by the place and misses it. The fuzz. The fuzz. Well, I'm over. Whoop, whoop. And then like when he runs into the school, it's empty, he's like, I didn't make it. See, and he had a actor, he was like, why is he talking

to himself? But Arnold's, like, I would believe I talk to himself. Yeah, just to like, wait, what is going on? He has to say the words I'm loud to know what's happening. Yeah, he has to explain every situation to himself. I believe Arnold, maybe does anything, he's like, you know, I

must shit. And as he shit, it's like, I am shitting now. Yeah, yeah. I have finished. I've fucked housekeeper. I hope she doesn't tell anyone. He says that out with her and his wife's like, what? I didn't know she was so fertile. So now his son's all pissy, okay?

Yeah, he's being a little bitch. So you miss one recital, okay? Thank you miss my recital, me. No, we didn't know. Yeah, and the son's like, you get one chance, okay? Buy me a tie or else I won't love you. Yeah, it's really like, that's the whole theme of this film. Buy your child's love.

Yeah. Commercial is a commercial. whatever, what is it, consumerism? Consumerism, yeah. It's the only thing that can save the American family. So he's like, oh, I gotta get the toy. Because the tie represents more than just

my son's love for one day. This could, he doesn't get the toy. His marriage is probably going to fall apart, okay? And Phil Hartman's going to fuck his wife. Oh, yeah, slitches. Because Phil Hartman, okay. He's like the creepy next door neighbor. No, Phil Hartman's, I think, I'm like,

Phil Hartman's a legend in this film. Yeah, he's the real hero. Oh, the Lills, I love your cookie. He's always hanging around the school, filming the kids. Hi, I'm Phil Hartman. You might remember me from getting shot by my crazy-cunt wife. Yeah, no, he doesn't have a... Killed by a woman.

Yeah. I think we can all read the subtext there. Yeah, okay. But it is funny how, like, he doesn't have a wife in this. No, he's divorced. So he's just banging all the housewives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's the implication they're all like, can you fix my pipes?

Wink, wink, wink. Okay. why fix your pipes when I could fuck you in the ass well you know best but Arnold's wife is the one wife he can't fuck yeah yeah so he's really trying

that's getting pummeled by his monster god I mean nothing else would I mean like I love Phil Hartman but for a woman to be like who should I fuck yeah yeah I love his Bill Clinton impression then you literally have this

fucking pituitary mongoloid just pure muscle just pummeling your pussy with his giant cock I mean like Arnold's so big there's no way the sun doesn't hear them fucking

what's going on it's okay I have my turbo man doll it's so funny idea of like they're going out it so hard the whole house is shaking and the sun just hanging on to the doll

turbo man just bring me away he's under his bed it's a hurricane oh god what monster so he's got to get this tie now but it's Christmas Eve

oh how's he gonna get the toy yeah yeah but he's like to the wife he's like oh course I have the toy it's in the office you really think I would forget to get the toy of course I buy the toy

now don't ask me questions and the son I have to say he seems to have a cool room He has lots of other toys in there. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little spoiled prick. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's got, like, loads of comic books and stuff.

I was actually going like, well, that's a nice room, which I grew up like that. You're 25 being envious of this child's room from 1996. He's got some cool toys, which I'd toys. Wish my dad was a big Austrian man who bought me toys. And fucked my mother. Made the whole house shake, like a real man. Boom, shake, shake, shake. Okay, so he's got to go get the tie, okay?

Yeah. So he's waiting outside the store and he meets Simbad. Sinbad, he's like a disgruntled postal worker. Yeah, yeah. And he is hilarious in this film. Really? You're not like Sinbad?

I taught... Now, a lot of it was improvised, and I was like, I would have liked it if he just rained it back a bit. There's some very funny bits with Simbad, but sometimes with a long, kind of, like, it feels like stand-up bits. Example. When we first meet him, he's like,

this is consumerism, go against the working man. Yeah, but it's just funny. He's just like a disgrunt. Now, okay, admittedly, I saw this as a kid and just loved it so much. You know, I haven't watched it in many years. So maybe if I were to rewatch it, I'd probably agree with you. I would have reined it back just a little bit.

There's a few times where... I think, who are you to say anything about the great sin bad? Well, you know what? I'm going to say something bad about Sinbad, okay? Doesn't pay his taxes? Oh. Yeah. I think he's having some health problems

He had a stroke there Not so long ago Yeah, well Well That's what you get Chingle all the way To the morgue You cung

No, no Simbad's great Yeah, I love Simbad And you know He doesn't pay his taxes Even better Yeah Even cooler

And having a stroke as well Good Sweet Yeah That makes it That makes you funnier That makes you funnier That's a man

That makes you funnier You should see him Try to drink a glass of water Now hilarious That's a funny bit And he's like Bluh Okay, so they're all looking for this toy, okay?

Turbo man. And everyone laughs in their face. Again, it's funny how, like, it just says Arnold, okay? Yeah. And he's like, where's Turbo Man? They proper, like, they're all waiting outside the shop, and then they all burst in, and they're all, like, killing each other to try to get this toy.

But, like, they laugh in Arnold's face, as if you'd laugh. Like, the Conta 6-5 fucking muscle-bound freak. Yeah. These are just some little work. guys at work in a toy store and like hey listen to this asshole he wants a turbo bad

like fucking uh Jerry from Rick and Morty he's a what's his name Chris Parnell yeah he's like ha ha look at his bitch and he's like hey Jerry look they want a turbo man doll

ha ha ha ha I want a dork look this little massive bitch wants a tie for his son ha ha ha but he's got to respect me because I'm wearing a vest

which means I work here because I work for the toy store yeah They work for me. I'm a front line worker. Yeah, essential worker. But then, of course, he grabs them and it's like,

Where is your Christmas spirit? And they shut up pretty quickly. So he goes to multiple shops. Toy stores, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all, literally, it's a montage of them. They're all laughing at them. Yeah. All laughing at them.

Jingle bell, jingle bell rack. Yeah, they're all laughing at them. So he calls up the wife, be like, I can't find it. You know who answers? Phil Hartman, eating her cookie. Yeah. It's like, hey there, buddy, the Howardster. How's it going, pal?

I'm just eating in your wife's cookies. They're so delicious. She's upstairs naked in the shower. She's just having a shower. Don't worry about it, buddy. I got it covered. Put that cookie down. Remember he's like, she's up there on the shower.

You want me go check? I'm like, he's real sleazy in it because, like, he's taken off her apron. she's wearing an apron and he like reaches around and takes it off her and there's even a close up of his face and goes, hmm, yeah, I like having a little feel. He does, he hugs her once and he's like,

oh yeah, he's pretty much dry humping her like, you know, and this is a kid's movie. Yeah, he's just like humping her leg here, come on. Oh, Phil, you dog. You fucking bitch! Yeah, he's got a knife to her throat.

Oh, am I still holding this? Oh, I didn't realize. Oh, wow. Gee, Willickers. There's a bin that we're like, he's like, you go upstairs, get naked, have a shower. I'll mind the kids and bake the cookies. And as soon as she goes, he picks up a cookie and burns himself.

He's like, ow! And he yells at the kids. Shut up in that! Yeah, it's great. I'm eating your mom's cookies. Shut up! Your little fagg. Yeah, he just gets really, real drunk and surly almost straight away.

Yeah, that'd be so good. Come down to the basement, boys. We're going to fill them a little Christmas home move. Christmas wrestling Yeah No you don't need your shirt Billy Or whatever the fuck

His name is Jamie Yeah he's got a fat son Yeah he's got a fat son What's the fat son called Fatty Fatty Little fat fag Is this Patreon

No Oh no Oh no Oh I've been hard I've been had I've been had That's all good fun It's Christmas

It's Christmas It's Christmas okay Yeah Yeah Fairy tale New York Yeah Yeah Very dead of New York

Yeah That's my defense Oh, fairy tale of New York So, ha ha! Yeah Well, I should have to lose like You're a maggot, you're a fat kid I'm going to molest in the basement

That'd be better It would be half be dead and would do Ruining Christmas Oh, they're worse than the repo man Those gays All right So Then he

So him and Sinbad are kind of of like you know like we can't find a toy yeah well they've been kind of like uh they've been competing against each other you know when push comes to shove they've been pushing the shoving yeah but they're usually kind of on the same team trying to find the toy but there's rumors okay that there's one there's some turbomont ties in the store okay so they rush over there and there's like a system in place where they're like you gotta get the ball yeah and then we pick the number the color yeah okay it's like a raffle it's like if you get the so they just have all these balls

and if you get the right number it's like the lotto they pull the number on the hat or whatever you know so yeah they just like they say form a cue

for the ball but everybody's so rowdy that they just fling the balls in the air and everybody goes mental and starts battering each other for them yeah it's great

and Arnold like he gets the ball but it's bouncing around he's chasing after it and in real life he would be killing people like not even intentionally like he hits an old lady she bangs her head

he jumps into the ball pit full of kids now if he lands he could kill like six kids if he lands on him he's so big and you remember that he's sort of the kid as the ball

he's like come on little girl give me your ball she puts it in her mouth and then he proper grabs her like give me that fucking ball he starts choking her like in Glory's bastard yeah and it's only with one hand

I don't know where his other hand is but it ain't good people let me tell you that and the director's like choke her for real put your finger in her Bullet holes. What bullet hole?

Harvey wants to see real. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And then remember all those dumb women are like, get away from my kids. Yeah, yeah. You perfect. I am not perfect.

I just was looking for double men doll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As he has like his hand in the kid's mouth. In the kid's mouth trying to get the ball out. Oh, she has my ball in her mouth. What? Yeah. It's weird.

Weird. What hilarious misunderstanding. Then he actually has his sack whipped out. I feel like that was a trend in older movies. The women were always like, you know, use their handbags. Like, oh, you awful, man, get away. Whereas really, they'd have mace and tasers. Yeah.

And even that ain't enough. But that ain't as funny. No. Although, no, it's not really, it's not funny when it's like they confront you with the real threat of sexual violence. It's funny when it's like a plastic candy cane that you're hit. No, Mace would be funny. Arnold, with Mace in his eyes. He's like running around going,

he's like just choking people. That'd be fun. He's got his cock off. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so he's like... So he's like, there's no hope, okay? Oh, but then... You tell me what happens.

Oh, I know what happens. Hey, buddy. Shh. Hey. You're looking for a thorough man for Christmas? Yeah, yeah. Turn around, it's a Santa Claus. Who is the Santa Claus? None other than Jim.

Mother fucking Baloochey. The only good Belushi. The only good Belushi. Life according to Jim's son. Yeah, yeah. And Twin Peaks. Was he in Twin Peaks? Twin Peaks season three.

Oh, I haven't watched the new season. Oh, well, you should. Should I? Just for Jim Belushi? Just for... You know how much I love Jim Belushi. Watch the Jim Belushi edit of Twin Peaks season three. It's 20 minutes long.

It's beautiful. He's funny in this now. He is funny. He's funny, yeah. It's a shame. Because if he was just a standalone comedy character actor, you'd be like, oh yeah, he's a funny guy. I kind of like him.

But the fact that he's a funny guy. John Belushi's brother, it's like, you're the wrong kid, dad, you know, it's like always going to be, you're not as good as John. So it's Jim Belushi and also the little fellow from Seinfeld. Yeah, yeah, a little person. I think his name's Brown. In real life. Yeah.

Okay. But he's good. He's funny, yeah, yeah, yeah. He played Mickey in Seinfeld. Mickey. That's all trying to think of, yeah, Mickey. Yeah, Mickey's great. And, yeah, he's still alive.

I just assumed he was dead, still life. I just assumed they're all dead. they're midgets or the balusies which ones uh both spot the difference so they go to uh yeah so he's like hey i'll hook you up with a terrible man but it's gonna cost you so yeah so like they get in the car and they drive to this kind of sketchy warehouse in the middle of nowhere full of santa's

full of like yeah santa's but they're all it's like a big factory but it's obviously all like cheap illegal goods or whatever but they're all dressed like santa's so i the thing is that all like mall Santas are in on this scheme where they deal dodgy goods off the back of a truck or whatever. Yeah, the joke is kind of like they're like a mob

group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all working together and it's like an underground network of malls Santa's. Yeah, yeah. Now, if there is indeed an underground network of mall santas, I think selling cheap toys is not going to be the first thing on the itinerary. I'm just going to throw

that out there if I were to hazard again. Yeah, there's a lot more They can be doing There's a lot more going on Yeah, they're flying Yeah, they're taking their fucking Slay and reindeer out To little St. James, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah There's a lot they can be doing Like, especially the fact that like Most of their life is like, well, like their job is like a lot of it There's kids sitting on their laps Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah Yeah, and you know when like the kids

Sometimes pisses the Santa On the pisses on the Santa? Yeah, they're like, yes. Yes! Yeah, and then they... It's petered. Yeah, and then they sell the... Sell the tricer to you.

Yeah. Who wants some child piss? Me! Merry Christmas to me. Happy Hanukkah. He goes there, okay, but they give him Mexican Turbo Man. Evil! Well, I think the bigger fault is that it's actually in pieces, you know, that it's all broken and stuff.

And they're like, but what does he say? Yeah, he presses the button. He's like, they money. in the mouth all the turpo yeah yeah that's multilingual

version it's fun and educational yeah that's a good little line that's exactly what he says

yeah I know mental that my mental retard brain remembers all this useless fucking use dialogue

from jingle all the way that's what I remember that's what sticks in my brain from here to eternity but you know

like my first love gone don't remember my father gone don't remember fuck all that gay shit

let's remember dialogue from an old Scooby-Doo episode fuck me there's guys okay who like

when they're young like I'm gonna focus on computers yeah and they learned how the code

and now they're working now they're working for the big big companies okay and it's like yeah

I might just jet off to the boy this weekend boys okay James are you coming to I can't

I'm watching jingle all the way again I'm recording a podcast in my shitty bedroom covered in black mold in a gaff I can't afford working a job I hate

desperately alone hooray for me yeah living the life you're like I know I've no time for Dubai I'm actually watching Jingle all the way with the sound down I'm watching and doing all the voices myself to perfection no I'm actually going to watch jingle all the way

too with Larry the cable guy oh yeah and that's a real thing oh can we watch that no we can't we? I can't, but you're not allowed. Okay. You wouldn't get it. You put a bag on my head. Go over you. You wouldn't get it. The semiotics.

Yeah. Okay, so there. Yeah, I'm like, where's Arnold? I start crying and piss myself. And you sell my jeans. Pay dirt. Okay. So he's like, the toys all broken, speak Spanish. Yeah, it's Mexican.

Ew. Build a wall around that. political. So then they get into a big fight. Yeah, so he's like, you guys are a bunch of criminals. What did you call us, buddy? And then, so yeah, he starts getting in a fight,

but then in comes a big massive Santa and it's actually the big show from WWE. Is it? Yeah, it is, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, they get in a big fight, but then the place gets raided by cops.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Brian, am I picking up the slack here? Okay, I was amazed, okay. Just for the big show now. college, okay? Should have been Hulk Hogan. Let me just, it's pathetic that I know all this. Continue.

Well, I was just going to say that Santa should have been Hulk Hogan. That would have been way better. I actually thought it was Hulk Hogan when I was a kid, but then I looked at the credits. Yeah. Oh, look, so, anyway, the police burst in, okay, but Arnold's a smart cookie, okay? He's a smart cookie, he knows. He pretends to be a detective.

He sees a police badge in a basket full of fake police badges because it's a toy. He's like, I'm Detective Lang Homicide. What are you guys doing? Busting in here like Terrace at the Tea Party. It's like, well, you're clearly

full of shit. I saw you just picked that up from that basket full of fake cop badges. You're going, but they're like, oh, right away, sir. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? Because he's so tall and mussela, it's like, well, obviously this, we just do what he says. Yeah. Yeah. Love if the badge is like, you know, police

officer in Toy Town or something. It's obviously fake. 69. Yeah, and they're like, oh, you're from Toytown. It's a rough district, yeah, got a lot of crime down there. And we all know who's to blame, too. A few turbo man down there, am I right? Yeah. Hey, Niels Mia!

So he gets out there, okay? Yeah. And he's like, you know, lock them all up. Yeah, yeah. But, like, the place is crawling with cops and nobody even, like, he just flashes his toy badge. they're like, yes,

sir, right away. Yeah, yeah, it's great. So now hope is really lost. And Christmas is going to be ruined.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll tell you what, if he doesn't get that tie, his son's going to kill himself. Yeah. Okay,

yeah. That's implied. His son is going to have a mental breakdown and blame George Lucas. Yeah. Oh, wait. That really happened. Yeah.

You think you'll stick around to the end, kids. We're going to drop some knowledge. I actually don't know that much about him. Do you not? No. I don't really know either, but he was Anakin's

Skywalker in what is that the first one? Phantom menace. Phantom menace, right? So obviously despised the world over and he was bullied mercilessly

and he's like, basically he's like, he had a mental breakdown. He's now like diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic. He's been arrested multiple times. He's like cordoned tattoos. He said George Lucas ruined his life.

He probably got raped and that's what happens. So there you go kids. That's what happens. How funny would it be if like you just find him on the street one time? Yeah. And you're like, It's turbo die.

And I fuck him in the edge! Yeah, no, sorry. What were you saying? No, I was thinking of the funnier of like, he's like, spare some change. It's like, I got something better and you just give him a turbo man tight. I know this is what you really wanted.

Yeah, yeah. So. Just give him a Jar Jar Jor Binks action figure and he shoves it into his eye. Blah! Yeah. It is mean, though. I hope he has, uh...

He's fucked. Hope you has better look in the future. Trust me, anybody listening to this show doesn't, they know that when it comes to the mental health ladder, we're on the bottom wrong. We, you know, we're fucked. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, who else is fucked Arnold in this movie,

okay? No turbo man, no Christmas. So he's just hanging out in a fucking cafe, diner? Yeah, diner, okay? And Simbad's there again. And they're like, well, there's no hope. We might as well just slit a wrist right now, okay? There's no, there's no pint coming back home if you don't got a tie for your son?

Yeah, yeah. Then on the radio, they're like, And there's a contest here for To win a Turboman toy. Yeah. They're like, wha! Okay. So they try and call in,

but they fight too much. So then... And they break the phone? Yeah. So then Arnold's like, we got to run to the station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they actually literally run.

Literally run. Not even drive. Yeah, because it's pretty close by, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this actually really made me laugh because it was a bit of realism. So he goes into the radio station and actually literally,

like, actually smashes the window. He, like, kicks the door. or open the glass sash. It's Martin Mull. But the way they shot out at him just kicking it open and it actually smashes, it feels very realistic

and that made me laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you could have made this a little bit darker. Well, he could have had an erection. What do you talk about? What do you mean, make it darker?

As it goes on, like it would have been better, I think. Oh, like if he proper has like a mental break time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end, it turns out there was no sun.

Yeah. Or you know what? He just takes the midget and like paying some red like here you go here's your turn for my dog there's Mickey okay so

he's like where's the toy yeah yeah and Martin Moll's like it was a contest you get a voucher and yeah and you'll get a toy eventually

yeah yeah yeah and I was like not good enough and starts to like choke him yeah yeah yeah but then Sinbad runs and he's like

I got a bomb oh yeah I remember this saying yeah yeah I got an explosive device yeah yeah that's great so uh so he like threatens like if you don't give me a turbo man i'm gonna blow this place up yeah right and we find out it's a fake bomb yeah obviously yeah yeah yeah but then the police burst in

yeah the real police yeah because martin mole called him when arnold swagenegger kicked the door yeah yeah okay so now continuity for the viewers we got a standoff okay where the police got their gun they're got the guns pointed okay yeah yeah yeah and we're like oh my god is arnold gonna get shot by the police and then sindbad shows up you're like oh thank God, Arnold, you're safe. A distraction.

You're good. You're good. So Sinbad pulls out another package. Another package is like, this is a bomb. Yeah. And the police believe

it and put down all their guns. Do you think that would really happen? No. See, the thing is, Simbad had to reach into his bag to pull out the parcel. Yeah.

In real life, nothing ever would have made it out of the part, out of the bag. You know what I mean? Yeah. He would have been riddled there and then. Yeah.

And, uh, yeah. Unfortunately. 97 times in the head Yeah We think he's dead And all our police cameras Broke

Yeah All the body cams All the body cams Had a glitch Yeah Yeah yeah yeah So Y2K Yeah

He pulls out the package He's like I got a bomb Okay Yeah yeah And then you know They escape The bombs there

I've forgotten about this bit Oh yeah Yeah that's good The commission You say it Okay so yeah No I just remember it there I'm like Arnold

I have to say it out loud To have a thought Or a memory Wait I know it happened Right So he's like gentlemen we've been duped it's just a whole it's just a harmless package and he ripped he like goes to rip the paper and then

come boom you hear an explosion yeah and it just cuts to simbad is like that was really a bob this is a sick world we're living in with sick people yeah now that was good sinbad that's a funny line that was good sinbad yeah you can't disagree with that i love sinbad okay you know i mean now do you like the fact that they cut back to the police and they're cartoonishy blown up they're still alive would you rather have been we cut back

and there's bits of leg and bits of Chief no oh my God what would I

tell Susie Chief don't fall asleep don't fall asleep now yeah yeah that's what I would have

just legs and tea everywhere like it's a fucking north Mountbatant now yeah they cut back to him and he's got like

his hair is all over the place so like he's got the black suit on his face it's like a loony tunes explosion and he just like

faints and then I think one of them goes how many years on the bomb squad chief and then the guy claps was like he's just been blowing up you're really going to give him a zinger right now but how better okay if we cut back and there's just blood okay and he's like like from the waist down

just paste okay just intestines everywhere you guys like how many years on the bomb squad ooh just like his intestine they're all pouring out He's like an old bag of sausages flopping her eye. He's like coughing up blood and he's like,

someone's getting demoted. Oh, Chiefs, I tell you, this has been a real blast. Woo! Please, go, yeah. He's just like zinging up the whole time. Kill me. Blow this out of proportion. She's like, kill me, kill me.

And, you know, the guy's like, God, I'm so funny. I should be on Alan Carr's chatty man. I should do Whose line is it anyway Okay It explodes And Arnold Again he's running around the place

And he's gonna have to go home Yeah He's defeated Yeah he goes home What does he see through the window Hartman Phil Hartman Putting the star on the tree

He's putting my star On my tree Yeah Yeah He's very angry That's a real That's basically like Getting cooked

Yeah Literally You know what Phil Hartman might as well fuck his Christmas tree there and then just stick his dick right in it like yeah again if to be the darker

how great would it be okay if like he sees through the window the Hartman's just jizzing on the tree and like looks makes I kind of that goes like it's my tree now Merry Christmas you filthy animal. You got my fat son I got the tree

but then he remembers because they were talking earlier and Phil Hartman's like I got a I got a turbo man for Johnny Monsago is nestle safely under our tree and then Arnold Schwarzenegro's like

I'll show you and he breaks into their gap he's like I will break into the house and steal the turbo man which is under the tree as he previously said earlier on in the film and I can give it to Jamie even though it was

intentionally bought for a little fat child but I will pull a ruse a scheme it is Oceans 11 Yeah, yeah Okay, so he goes into the house All right

Sneaking around Arnold's very sneaky Very, yeah Very dainty Very stealthy Yeah Fucking gigantic Mongolai

Just walking around Yeah Every time he touches a door handle It just crushes Into a diamond He keeps ripping doors off the hands So he sees the turbo man Yeah

Picks it up He's about to walk away It's like well he's conscious Yeah His cock conscious He doesn't have the balls To go through with it What am I doing

Stealing toy from little Fat child on Christmas? He actually has an error In case the audience Don't know what's going on He has to go like No I feel bad for taking this toy I have bad feeling in my brain

What is happening? Yeah Yeah So he goes to put it back But then there's a reindeer in the house Yeah because Phil Hartman Had a pet reindeer that he got Just for Christmas or whatever

some stupid shit. A little contrived, Brian, if I do say so myself, a little force. I was not, I didn't invest in this at all. Yeah. Why would you get a reindeer just for Christmas? Doesn't make sense?

There are beastly feral creatures. Yeah, I just go off on one. But anyway, yeah, so he's got like a wild... So he's like a wacky chase around the house like, be quiet. And then the gaff gets all smashed up and like shit goes on fire.

Shit is on fire. He throws them to the window and scares some carol singers. Yeah, yeah, they think it's a hate crime. They think it's an anti-Christian hate crime.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, you know, it's a big thing and then Hartman's like, what's going on? And, you know, what's the name of the wife and this?

The actress, I mean. Rita Wilson. It's Tom, Hank's his wife in real life. Rio Wilson's like, hey, not bad Tom, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

Guess it don't hurt to be in Save a Prime Ryan, you know what I'm saying? So she's like Oh Arnold I'm very disappointed You're in the dog house now Yeah

Yeah Hey That's a reindeer But you're in a dog house Yeah I do not understand Joke It doesn't even work

What do you say Shut up Yeah Patriarchy Yeah So now Arnold's outside Drinking Yeah

With the reindeer Yeah No because they actually Punch the reindeer In the face Which is great A bit of animal cruelty Merry Christmas

We get a shot of the reindeer Like Yeah Basically a winded reindeer I told you not to fuck with me I said I kill you less And then he just stands over the reindeer Up unzips his pants

Jingle bell Jingle bell Rock Dad Shut up Jamie Don't look at me I cannot come If you make eye contact

Okay So he's like drinking with the reindeer now Again we find your feet He was much more drunk yeah yeah but he's like this he was like you're fucking oh ah i fuck better looking around there than you yeah i don't know i have no idea when i'm talking he's like oh there's no what's the point of living okay yeah yeah he's literally tying a noose in the shade yeah he's like tying a boulder to his leg okay where is swimming pool yeah okay but then he remembers the parade right yeah so phil hartman

takes his takes Arnie's wife and kids to the parade yeah yeah yeah and Arnold's like I should try and go to the parade be good parent Yeah I will make it up to Jamie

Okay Jamie So then we see Phil Hartman and Rita Wilson in the car Yeah And Phil Hartman he stopped fucking about He's done He's done

He ain't playing no games He's literally In the middle of days Like come on give it to me now Let me see that pussy I want that pussy right now. I'm a nice guy. I put the work in. I deserve. I'm entitled to a bit pussy, okay? Yeah, yeah. You know, he

reminded me of a certain tri-channel member. Nah, I shouldn't have said that. Yeah, shouldn't have said that. Yeah, yeah. I regret that. Yeah. That's the only problematic thing I said. Yeah. Take your braves. Yeah, I do, yeah. No, but yeah, he's the real kind of, like, it's that old story of like, be the real nice guy just to be the creep in the end. Yeah. Give it me now. Okay. Give him me now. Okay. He full-on tries it on with her. It's Christmas, I earned that hole.

Give me that hole right now, okay? It belongs to me. I'm taking a hole, okay? You can either agree with this or not. Otherwise, I'm getting a knife. I'm literally cutting your vagina off and bringing it home with me. Yeah. See, it's not as funny when it's not done like in an S&L's catch.

Seems a bit dark here without the laugh track. See, when Hartman did it, it was like. It was whimsical. Yeah, okay. But yeah, he full on was like, Liz, don't fight it. You know you want to. Come on. And she's like,

Oh, get away from me. Yeah, come on. She falls on, hits him with like the egg dog. Yeah, she,

what do you call it? It's like in a, what do you call it? Container thermos, in a thermos, right? And she's like, come on, Les and proper leans in to kiss her. And she cracks him over the face

with the eggnog. And then he's like, you think it's going to stop me? I love egg dog. Yeah. Yeah. Nice one. No,

I don't need to use the lube. Yeah, yeah. I love how it's nice. that it's during the day and there's a parade going on. There's a literal

parade going on. It's like the perfect time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to blow you now. I want to blow you while watching the parade. I deserve to be blown before the parade,

not after. And blow me. Okay. And if you got raped by a pack of beeps, it'll be your own fault. This might be Patreon.

It might have to be. It might have to Yeah. Yeah. You get raped by a pack of Mexican turbo man's. Hey, Dios meo, let turbo

in the vagina, heo. Yeah. Okay. So Arnold, okay, he's going to parade, but someone's like,

oh, I'll tell you what is. He, like, he meets the policeman again, isn't it? Yeah, the cop that,

like, so there's a cop that he met at the start, I pulled him over for speeding, and then, like, one, later on, he knocked over his bike,

and then blew him up with the bomb. Yeah. So obviously this cop's got a He's a little bit He's ticked off Yeah He's got an axe

He's got an axe To grind with old Arnie So Arnold's like Oh oh I better hide Yeah So he hides in or in Just like kind of ducks into a Oh no because the cop sees him

And this actual chase Yeah And Arnie kind of ducks into this Just A door in an alleyway Okay And then someone's like Hey it's you finally

Come on come on Come on Come on Where have you been We've been waiting on you Yeah Yeah And then they're putting him in some kind of

costume. Some kind of costume. And Arnold he's too weak to fight back. Yeah, yeah.

He's like a little oh please don't hurt me when these like little theater twigs are dressing him up. They're like

pulling down his jeans. Yeah, little skinny theater kids are like having their wicked way with Arnold's Wodgenegger.

Yeah, it's attack of the twinks. Yeah. Come on. Get me your jeans okay. You gotta dress up. He's like,

what's going on? I am scared. Yeah, I'd like put a costume on him. He is no eggnog dog so he can't make him stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so then they dress him up like Turbo Man. Like Turbo Man, it's like, hey, have a great show. Now, do you remember, okay, so they meet, what's the name, Booster? Booster, oh yeah, the sidekick. Now, it's not from American Dad. Yeah, what's that actor's name?

Uh, I don't, he was also in Revenge of the Ners. Mr. Jewish. Okay. Okay. Mr. Angry Jewish. The Jew. Yeah. For anyone who's not, uh, yeah, this is a deputy Patreon, I think.

Anyway, who cares? Oh, he might not even be Jewish. here's hoping yeah maybe he's yeah yeah but here's do you remember what he says I'm oh yeah okay I do remember

where the hell have you been I've been sweating like a dog in a Chinese restaurant here now you probably got that Joe I didn't know what he was talking about I was like fucking hell that's brilliant as a six year old

I was like fucking hell they eat dogs don't they we all know they do yeah I was loving it man I was just like sitting there a can of carling and a John player

Red. Ugh, fucking, they love eating dogs, don't they? We should eat them as revenge for all the little doggies. Go down Chinese. There's an Asian girl

works in a Chinese. She probably ate my dog. That's why he disappeared. They went to the farm. Went to the Chinese. We're under a belly. Eat my dog and start a corona.

Stupid bitch. They don't eat egg dog over the arm's sick. oh fucking out but yeah so he's like real like surly smoking a cigarette like hey you're a booster

what hell do you think I am the friggin't east of buddy he's like a real like yeah very contentious young man he's great he's great champ god

he kind of has a vibe of like I don't know if Wallace Sean was doing this yeah yeah yeah but like an sexier Wallace Sean if you can imagine such a thing Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

God, he's the best part of marriage story as well. I haven't seen marriage stories. He's the only good part of it. Okay. There's a great been there where, like, they kind of like have a, there's a party going on. He's in the corner, and we just hear his story half a two where he's like, here I am, two Oscar winning actresses sucking my cock. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow. Is he usually a very kind of reserved? That's why it's so funny to be like. And this, he's like an actor that's been around forever and all these stories are like, yeah, bender. Nice. Yeah. But so anyway, yeah, so Arnold is. Turbo Man then.

And they put him into this little elevator shaft thing and it rises up and then he's on afloat in the parade dressed as Turbo Man. Remember they said that the last guy who played Turbo Man's in a coma but he might have brain functions

that's good. Yeah, that's a really good sign. Yeah, yeah. So now it's Turbo Man and Booster at the parade. On the parade float dancing in their sexy little outfits. asking for it putting dirty thoughts

in your head look this might sound misogynistic but if a girl's dressed like booster she's asking for you're big furry hoa

yeah yeah if you're dressed like booster you'll want it shaking your purple costume all over the place your little fucking minks

yeah prick cheese with your saber tooth mouth goshing off lads giving me blue balls making me angry what the fuck

I'm feeling good I know it's good I think jingle all the way has opened up something in me and I'm happy I've never been this happy I've never been this happy and you never will be again

remember that yeah I'm only happy I'm only happy in talking about the Chinese and women getting raped ooh by Mexican

don't forget okay so the parade's going well okay and little Jamie's there going like, look, Ma. It's Turboman. He's the only father figure I need.

You should let him fuck you, Mom. Oh, maybe. But then, yeah, but doesn't he, like, he gets given an actual Turbo Man doll. Yeah, yeah.

And he gets to pick a child out of the crowd. He gets to pick any child he wants. That's a lot of power. Yeah. Yeah. Which lucky child will get this. Feel like David Geffen. Any child I want.

Yeah. Or just pick out of a crowd. I have it. Bring him to me Don't wash him I want it dirty If he pisses himself We can sell the trousers on eBay

I know a midget who loves piss Don't any great episodes of Seinfeld We're like Kramer's got a new business idea Jerry We're selling piss This is a million dollar idea Jerry child's piss

Creamer, come on, we got to get the piss jeans To the factory Oh, okay, buddy, hey, oh Yeah, yeah But the weight of the piss, okay They have to transport somewhere Yeah In Newman's van

And there's a bit in it We're like, Kramer like licks the piss He's like, I can't believe it's low fat And then, like, no, the mayor gets elected to some shit I can't remember that episode And then Elaine does something Yeah

Hated those episodes I didn't tell you Elaine was on the screen Why is she doing stuff? There shouldn't be girls allowed in this Shouldn't be allowed Yeah They show about nothing More like the character who means nothing

Yeah bitch! She's actually great though I love she's so good I love the idea of like someone's like God I hate Elaine so much Oh I just need to relax And watch some veep Oh God

No So anyway He picks his favorite child His own child He knows my name And the mother's not like Wait how did Yeah how does the creepy man

On the parade float Know my son's first name Rita Wilson who just got sexually assaulted Well attempted sexually assaulted Like a couple of minutes ago It's like hey kid The big man Knows your name somehow

Go with him Go You know she's married to Tom Hanks say no more lads say no more oh i can't say nothing oh oh oh oh oh oh look into it sheep do your research yeah anyway the research is he's a great actor he's a wonderful man yeah yeah and

he's doing another you know like I did Banderberters in Pacific yeah doing a new one of those okay this is about air people near here flying to places okay where to fly into have to find out okay

A lot of fun. So back to this, okay. We're nearly finished. Nearly finished. He keeps getting lost, okay? All right. So he's like, Jamie, come here. Yeah.

And he gives him a tie. Everything's grand. It's all good. But then... The villain shows up. Oh, no. But the villain... Remember we saw the villain smoke and he got knocked out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Sinbad. Wait, what's the villain's name? Like, Dr. Doom or some shit like that? No, Dr. Doom is a registered trademark of Marvel. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. He runs a country called Latvaria. Okay. Dr. Doom is a... That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. Yeah.

Okay. Well, yeah, let me relax there. I wouldn't be too far here. I don't know. Whatever his name is. Doctor... It's something disastrous. Sinbad the evil.

Yeah. Evil black. Evil black. That's also a trademark by Marvel. Yeah, yeah. Back in Stan Lee's new creation was like, what about the evil black man? Okay.

So, and they're like, it could be seen as racist. How is that racist? The statistics don't lie, my friends. Oh, God. Yeah. All right. Okay, so Sinbad's dressed as a turbanans nemesis. And they have a fight.

Yeah, they have a fight. Now, here's something I did not like. Is this? Yeah, okay. Now, let's see if you can guess it. I'm guessing the actual flying aspect of it. The flying, but also, when Simbad's fighting, he can shoot his fist. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. A punch iron. and it shoots back in and it moves his hands. Yeah. What's happening there? I don't know. Who knows?

It's like a silly, you know, I guess. I don't want to suspend my disbelief during Jingle all the way. Yeah, yeah. You're too emotionally invested. I mean, this movie has it all. Race relations, incest, suicide, rape and paedophilia. In my version, anyway. It's hard-hitting stuff.

Sinbad mentions Jesse Jackson at one stage. That's right. He's like, this is what Farrakhan was talking about. they control everything don't they Turbomans control the economy Turbomans

Live in Israel Yeah This is a Patreon episode Oh this has to be a Patreon episode Yeah Fuck I'm getting on my system Yeah Turbo mans

Jeremy Corbin hates Turbomans Yeah Okay Um Okay Okay so they have a fight I mean

Now it gets very silly And off the wall So now Sinbad Captures a child and runs away instead of grabbing the toy grabs the child

and starts running away and everyone is like this is a great show everyone's like wow they're really this part of the show and it's hitting a bit where like Rita Wilson's like

my son and the security guard's like lady it's part of the show don't ruin it okay you holes of no sense of comedic timing don't be a Karen yeah

Oh my son's getting kidnapped by Sinbad Shut up, you racist Sinbad Lives Matter Oh, winge, winch Okay, so then Arnold's like Oh, I've got a working jetpack In my parade costume I'm just, yeah, this little fucking parade

It actually has a functional jet bag Yeah, amazing One that it's not like it goes like oh it's like a foot up in the air he is flying around the city he's literally flying around the city at one point he flies through a family home

and they're having dinner and it's just like well that's their lives ruined well done he is above skyscrapers flying around at one point he flies head on into a skyscraper

and then he goes like like he's a dart yeah yeah like he's you know a spring or something yeah it's mental again how much better if he hits it and he gets severe brain damage. And actually makes no difference

to him whatsoever. No one can tell. Oh no. He's not retarded? Look at those muscles. Yeah. The wife's like actually pro-em because he can't work now. He's on disability. He just hangs around the house with his massive cock. Just fucking that reindeer all the time. Every now and again he gets confused. He thinks Phil

Hartman is me but... No complaints. Yeah. Yeah. That's how Phil Hartman died. Oh, where's... where's the eggnog when you need it all right

so he's flying around and but like at this point like Jamie's running away he's like proper Jamie the kid is like scaling up this huge

scaffolding on top of a building and Sinbad is chasing after I'm just like get back here kid and they're on the tree and the tree falls over and are hanging like must be at least seven stories

oh it's yeah if he falls he dies yeah okay so then Arnold it's like I'm going to use this special boomerang to my plan is to

hit Sinbad so he will fall to his debt Yes That's what he deserves Okay So he throws the boomerang and misses Sinbad's like you missed This boomerang ain't coming back

That's not how to work Yeah Well he's wrong Boomerang always comes back See we're learning about physics as well Yeah I remember Bob Hawke If you're not laughing you're learning Okay so the boomerang comes back

hits him bad he falls down but he lands on like a float yeah he lands on a float and it's soft and he doesn't die yeah

boo shouldn't be allowed I want to see the director's cut where he like just splatters yeah yeah

proper just like blood just a big tomato big squash tomato yeah yeah yeah you mean a sundried tomato I don't know

what does that even mean a raisin okay there you go oh okay California race Yeah But he says dead The son's like

Yes Yes We did it He's dead Let's kill some more Dad Jamie No

So So he saves the son And gives him back To Rita Wilson Reza Wilsson's basically like Oh thanks Turbo man Yeah cheers for that I was gonna nip off

She really doesn't seem that concerned At all There's no hugging He's just like Oh hey Jamie All right are you Made a bit of show up me today Didn't you

What's a sin bad kid nap you did he again that's your fault isn't it god that's your kind of fault isn't it yeah yeah

you're seeing cops and robbersons he's great in that I don't even know if he's in that I don't know what I'm okay

so then you know the son Jamie's like this is good no but I wish my dad was here

well Jimmy I have so you to tell you yeah just like mongo prayer why he just takes

off his helmet? Yeah. Dead! Oh my God! Yeah. That's bad. Jebby, it's me. Fucking. Yeah. Now, it would be much better if he's like, maybe you're dead around. And then, like,

the son's like, maybe he's closer than I realize. And we get that hint that, like, the son knows it's his dad. They don't want to say it. Yeah, yeah. Because it would ruin it. Yeah. But this way, just in case the audience don't realize what's going on. Wait, is he not?

Arnold's watching it. Yeah. Yeah. audience members who were like, I guess Arnold's gone now, it's just Turbo Man. He's probably dead? Yeah. Was he Sinbad the whole time? It's like the six cents. Instead of being a ghost, he was black the whole time. Where's Booster?

I want Booster to make more racism. Do more racism, Booster. Come on. You can do it. Especially now after Corona, we need Booster back. Booster comes with all of your favorite phrases. Build that fucking wall. keep him in cages what do I care

yeah so yeah so wrap this up okay we're just about done yeah so then it's a happy family right

and you know simbad seems sad okay right because he never got the toy plus he's going to jail but Jamie

gives him the toy and he's like I don't need a toy and I've got the real thing right here yeah and as he said you know

Simba's like happy and the police shoot him the police put their uh knee on his neck and choke him to death they put his knee on his neck and then they sing

what's that song on the first day of grace they sing it all the way through Yeah yeah A partridge in a pear tree Eight means a milky Five gold rings The entire police choir are singing

While stepping on a black man What great symbolism It's like Spike Lee And then the comments of this podcast are like, they use comedies a way to tell the truth. They have to sugarcoat it for all the snowflakes and lip-tards. Yeah, you can't handle.

Yeah. Brian and James are only people who talk about race, honestly. Never, always factually correct. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, in this film, okay, not in real life. In this film, he gives Sinbad the top. tie and then Simbad's like Cheers, just walks home. Yeah. No, he's

in handcuffs. The cops are taking him away. Oh. Yeah. Oh no. Yeah, so it doesn't end well for Sinbad. That's why he wasn't in the sequel. So the tie, he, so basically that toy is going to what happens is just a police chief who just take it and be like, I'm going to sell this. I'm going to give this to my mistress's

kid. He's a Japanese or something. They like this kind of shit healthy robots or whatever the fuck it is. Here, here's your gobod. Get out of here. Just throws at the kid Now I'm going to bang your mom for a while You can watch or you can leave

It's up to you After you Yeah Yeah yeah Happy Hanukkah That's what you People like don't you And you eat dogs

Yeah We need to end this though So that's it though So here's the little funny bit at the end Oh okay So we're comedy okay You need a little cherry The cherry on top

Okay So they all go home home and it's all good and then Rita Wilson's like well that's a great present for your son who's also my son I wonder what I'm going to get

Darrell's like oh he just answered the end so yeah the implication being that this awful man has forgotten both

to buy presents for he's only got one son yeah one child and one wife all I had to get was one present for one kid he forgot to buy presents for his wife and son

on Christmas. Yeah. And you know, it's also funny. It's not like oh, I had loads of other ties for Jamie. Yeah. And this is the one thing he wants. I got the sense that he did... He didn't get him anything.

Nothing. Jamie, you know what I mean he's mine? I thought he just hangs around here, what? Nothing. One awful fadder. Awful bad, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I know we joke about like, oh, it says you gotta buy ties for your family or they won't love you.

You got to do something. It's Christmas. You definitely do have to come on. Yeah. This is like, well, I got to buy a present for my wife as well.

Aye, carumba. What a country. Yeah, going back to home country. Yeah. Yeah, in Austria,

you want to do when you're shy. No, no, no. No, no. Yeah. You just, you don't make them work

on the field for that one day or whatever those dogs do out there. Fuck to find them. This has to be Patreon I know I'm happy with this Yeah this is wanting to put on Patreon By like this makes sense

Yeah this is yeah Yeah That was good now Yeah this is good now Yeah we're over an hour now And this is we're keeping everything in Yeah yeah No edits

I think the best Patreon episodes Are the ones that become Patreon episodes Yeah like that we have no choice But it's really nice to have that option now Where we can just start going wild and we're like, it's okay, we'll put it on Patreon. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we can, we can sing the song, you know. Yeah, yeah. We can sing the, what's it called again? Nightmare and Elms. Oh, Nightmare. Christmas and New York. Wait, what? Fairy Tales, New York.

Yeah, yeah, I got confused, yeah. Yeah, that one, yeah. Like, the gays are gonna ruin it, okay? Yeah. But we'll always have it. We'll always have it. R.T. won't play anymore? We will.

We'll play, we'll play that song. But just that, just the word. just the word and jingle all the way that's if we we have you know the way they have like Christmas XM yeah Christmas FM you know it's the Christmas station yes they play only Christmas songs sure yeah we'll only play audio from the movie

and homophobic slurs yeah and they'll love it but just boosters lines from the movie and you'll fucking love it yeah yeah yeah okay all right yeah let's end it there okay thanks so much everyone thanks for all the patrons yes we love you

this is for you please spread the word. Tell people. Tell people in your office. Don't tell the squares. Yeah, don't tell the squares or like anyone who get offended. Yeah, yeah. You know the drill. Yeah. Bye. Bye.