Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Alexander Ludwig on Vikings, Rehab, and Working through Miscarriages

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Alexander Ludwig [Vikings, The Hunger Games, Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant] talks with Rachel and Olivia about blacking out at the Versace Fashion Festival at age 19, what convinced him to become sober, and his sobriety journey from there. They also discuss Alexander and his wife’s long road to becoming pregnant, his blooming country music career, and much more. Broad Ideas is supported by Magic Spoon. Go to magicspoon.com/IDEAS and use the code IDEAS for $5 off. Broad Ideas is supported by Sundays for Dogs. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/IDEAS or use code IDEAS at checkout for 35% off your first order. Broad Ideas is supported by Manscaped. Visit manscaped.com and use code IDEAS for 20% off and free shipping. Broad Ideas is supported by HelloFresh. Go to HelloFresh.com/ideas16 and use code ideas16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Remember, get your next delicious bowl of high-protein cereal at magic spoon.com slash ideas and use the code ideas to save $5 off. Thank you, MagicSpoon for sponsoring this episode. Welcome to Broad Ideas. Rachel Billson. What? Your name's Rachel Bilsson? Yes, and I'm Rachel Bilsen.

And Olivia's quiet? for some reason. Oh, I didn't mean to be. Oh, good. I'm so happy you guys talk now. It really brings me great joy. You know what else brings me great joy is Alexander Ludwig, big fan, love this guy. I feel like he's my little brother.

You sent some photos of him and you after this interview when you guys were... Yes, I did. You guys were little kids. He looks like a baby. But he's still like six, seven and... Yeah, oh, no. Yes, for sure. and I sent them to him. He's like, oh, he was dying over the pictures. But yeah, I met him a long time ago, and he was so sweet. He's an actor and a country musician known for The Hunger Games, Vikings, Lone Survivor, and his latest film that just came out not long ago, Guy Ritchie's The Covement with him and Jake Gyllenhaal and some other people. Some other people you may have heard of. Let's welcome Alexander Ludwig, my long-lost brother,

Sometimes when we start to swirling, round and round inside, to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys. Because people die. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you doing?

I'm good. We're so happy to talk to you today. This is Olivia down here. Hey, Olivia. How you doing? I'm doing great. How are you? I'm good.

I'm good. Does Olivia know how we met? No. I met Rachel back when she was with Hated. We were in Italy together for the Versace fashion show. For Versacee men's fashion show. Yeah. Yeah.

We were in Milan, right? Yeah. And I was 19 years old. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was a total mess. No, you were so cute. It was a fun night.

We had a fun time. Yeah, it was a pretty crazy night. It was a pretty crazy night. I don't think I'll ever be invited back. What'd you do? This was before I was sober. So all I remember is waking up and missing my flight and then having to pay $4,000 in damages to a hotel room.

What? No. Yeah. Wait, why weren't we hanging out with you? Clearly, you had. You had a good time. Yeah. It was back way back.

I know. I know. It was crazy. That's the worst feeling in the world. How long sober are you? Five years as of yesterday. Oh, congratulations. Oh, my God.

12 and a half. So I know exactly the way you feel, waking up being like, what did I do? Yeah. I mean, 4,000 in damages is a pretty steep. It was a nice hotel. It could have been a lot worse. But yeah, when you're 19 and barely scraping by, that's not a good bell. Oh, my gosh.

You were just like, squableness. like sweetest, most precious thing, though. Like you were just excited. It was, I mean, it was a good time. I feel like Chase Crawford was there too, wasn't he? Chase was there. Yeah. And a few other people, I can't remember. But yeah, because it was the men's fashion show. But I just went with Hayden and we had a really good time. Yeah. I feel like you and I have a million connections. If we actually like look deep. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. You know what they always say, you know, in this business, you meet all types of different people. And I just remember being like, you're one of the good ones. And I was just like, this, this girl rocks. And it's so nice when you

see that. When you see people who have had success in the business and you're just like, man, it's so nice like to just meet people that are just real. You know, that's so sweet. I feel the same way about you. You're just so awesome. But thanks for saying that. That's so nice. And it's true. It's true. Like it's not just, you know, a facade. She hasn't changed at all. Well. Well, in areas, but. So this is so cool that you're on this journey and you're going to be a dad. Yeah. And when did she do?

Yeah, May 25th. Oh, it's really soon. Yeah. Wow. Girl or a boy, do you know? A girl. Oh. Yeah.

Do you guys have a name? You don't have to tell us. You don't have to tell us. Yeah, no, no. We're thinking like Oglethorpe because it's like my grandmother's. Oh, so she really? raise your hearty. You were serious and I'm just like laughing at your family name.

That's terrible. Even my buddies, even my buddies. So I said that too. Like they'll laugh and then they'll be serious because they're like, you can't laugh at that. And I'm like, no, that was like my grandmother's name. Like we're thinking like Olgy for short. Like it'll be really cute.

That's actually cute. I'm not mad at it. No, listen. No. We are, we are trying to still figure it out. There's like a few names that are in the running, but like we haven't really settled on one. that right yeah oh that's so exciting i'm so happy for you there's nothing better in the world truly

and a little girl that's so i have a girl as well so i know i just i'm really excited i'm saying that like my wife is like i'm just so excited for like the clarity you know when you i feel like once you have a kid at least my understanding of it is just like your priorities are so just simple it's like this is what matters and this is what doesn't matter and this is what i want to focus on and this is what I don't want to. And if this was happening five years ago, I would have been, you know, shitting my pants. But I feel like now it's just like, it's like, okay. Like we're, we're, we're ready for this. Right. Yeah. Right. And how long have you guys been together? We've been together for about three years, but we've known each other for, you know,

maybe 10 or like known of each other for like 10. We reconnected during COVID. Oh. I was shooting Vikings and I was living in Ireland for six. years and she was traveling Europe with a friend of mine. So they both ended up coming and visiting the show. And like we, I just remember thinking, man, this girl is so amazing. And nothing happened. It was totally platonic. And we both got into different relationships for four years. And then COVID happened. And, you know, you either survive COVID or you did. And I drove to Vancouver, Canada. And that's where Lauren, my wife is from. And we reconnected. Yeah.

That's where you're from as well, right? Yeah. Yeah, Vancouver. Wow. So both of your families are still there? Yeah. Yeah. My siblings are kind of all over.

My sister and my brother and L.A. and my other sisters in Salt Lake, but my mom and dad are back in Vancouver. Aw. Whereabouts? I love Vancouver. Like West Vancouver. Like West side. Yeah, Vancouver is amazing.

I mean, it rains a lot, but like it's, I absolutely love the city. And Whistler Mountain is like one of my favorite places in the world. Do you snowboard or ski? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so awesome. But living in Ireland for six years, that must have been, I was that? Crazy, right? My sister goes to Trinity right now in Dublin.

No way. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. So, like, I lived close by to where your sister's going to college. Oh, really? Yeah, like, well, I mean, I moved all over during, like, the season. At the beginning, I lived in, like, Balls Bridge, which is, like, an area in Dublin. And then I moved a little bit outside the city to Dalky, which is, like, this, like,

like seaside town. Ireland was incredible. I mean, the crews are some of the best crews I've ever worked with because they work together on everything. So they all know each other. And it's just like Vikings was a very special show because it's just, it was a hard one to shoot. But there just really isn't any room for divas.

So everybody, like you're cut. You just kind of be like the odd idiot out if you were just acting like that. Because the crews just don't, they're not like that. It's just not the vibe. at all, especially when everyone's out in the elements together. So it felt like we were all just one big family. And, but I was young when I started. I was like, you know, it was early 20s and it was just like,

it was crazy to move there and just be there. Did you get sober there in Ireland? Yeah, I mean, off and on. So that was like when I was figuring out my sobriety. I mean, you know, there's a huge drinking community there. So it wasn't really conducive to like, but if anything you kind of streamlined the process for me, and I think I realized,

I'm so grateful that my whole journey in sobriety was like overseas. I'm like away from everything, you know? So I kind of got to like figure out like what I really wanted out of my life away from any of the, you know, attention that you might have gotten if you were living in L.A. Or if you were living in, you know, New York or one of those places. Like I was like out there. So I got sober kind of towards the end of the show, like in the last season around there. What brought you to that?

Yeah. Yeah. What was the impetus? Yes. Oh, man. I mean, it really was like a life or death thing. I was shooting with a guy who I grew up loving. Like, I was such a fan of this guy.

And he could have been the biggest thing ever. and he has terrible, terrible issues. And I just remembered thinking like, that's going to be me. Like, that's going to be my career. If I don't, if I don't. And worse, like, you know, I'd also had friends who would pass away, like, you know, throughout a couple of years just for things that were so much less than the stuff I was doing. So it's just kind of like I felt like I was playing Russian roulette.

And I was like, one, I won a better career. career than this. And too, most importantly, like, I want to, like, a better life. So, I basically just checked myself into rehab in Arizona. I would go, like, missing. So, like, I would, like, go away for, like, days. And then, like, people would be like, I don't know where he went. Like, he's just gone. It would never be, the craziest thing that was that it never affected my work. Like, I was always able to, like, show up and, like, be prepared and, and, and do that, which is why it kind of went on unnoticed. But, like, on the weekends, like, you know, I'd be gone on a Friday and, like, I'd be out with everybody and then nobody would see

me till like Monday and be like, I don't know where he went. Wow. Yeah, it was, it was a dark, dark time. And I'm just so, like, you know, it's important to celebrate those milestones because, like, I'm one of the, like, I don't really care about, like, birthdays or anything, but this matters more to me than anything really. It's just like, wow, you know, we're here now and we did it. So. For you to have, like come to that so young, you know, I think. Yeah, that was the thing is like I was in rehab was like, you know, 50 year olds and, and, you know, guys who have blown up their whole families and, and we're all friends, a lot of us still. And the coolest thing I will say about rehab in general is like, you have everywhere from, you've got billionaires and homeless people. And you've got,

everybody is there for one reason. And it doesn't matter where you're from. We've all got the same issues, just dealing with it differently. And we all here for one common goal, which is to get better. And it was like, I wish everybody could have an experience like that because it was just so high opening to just hear about these experiences and just meet these people from all walks of life. Yeah, it was really amazing. It was an amazing experience. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Yeah. And you took yourself there and you were like, I'm going to go and put myself in rehab and I just think that's it's admirable and you know to have all of those thoughts and everything and I think that's so cool and you have five years and that's so awesome I had like never really done

well in school or anything but I was like I'm gonna ace rehab yeah I'm like I'm getting better and I'm like gonna be just so focused on the things that really matter to me and it's crazy in five years when I look back on my life then and I look to where I am now it's actually insane. It's actually insane. Like, I read somewhere, like, if you, if you kind of take yourself out for a little bit and hide away from the rest of the world and just focus on what matters, in five years you can set yourself up for the rest of your life. And I feel that. It's just like, wow, what a, what a remarkable shift. I mean, you know this. Yeah. Yeah. I remember when I first got sober, I was told, put your sobriety first and everything else will come

into place. And I remember being like, well, how is that going to get me a boyfriend and a career and all of these things, right? And then I look back at almost 13 years and I'm like, by God, they were right. Everything falls into place. If you can just do that, it changes the whole course of your life. And it's bigger. My life is way bigger than I imagined. Yeah. Right? Yeah. 100%. It's a gift. And I used to. And I used to do. It's a gift. And I used to be a bigger. I was a bigger. I was a bigger. It's way bigger. I'm a to watch people and be like, how did they get all those things? I remember when I first got sober, they were like, oh, I lost my job and my house and my family. And I remember being like, dang, I didn't even collect any of those things. Like, I was too busy drinking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't have anything to live. I was like, any of those things. I didn't. Yeah, well, then so it set you up to be in a place. And obviously your work always was your work and, you know, it didn't show up there. But with relationships, was that a struggle prior to being sober? Because obviously you found your wife once you were sober. Thank God, too. Thank God. Yeah. You know, we wouldn't be here if I wasn't.

That is like without, and I tell her that every, I tell her that when, you know, the thoughts will never leave about like, oh, well, maybe I could have one. And to be honest, I could. Like, I could have one right now and be fine. But I promise you in two weeks, I'll be gone. Gone or less. Gone. And I told you that. I was like, you know, if I ever did, again, our relationship would never survive.

And I would have nothing to do with you, but I just, it would never survive. Right. I think that it's, I don't really understand the mysticism of the universe or what is going on here. I know that there's something. And I've done my best to try and understand it. Everybody talks about this and they all have their own visions and versions of it. And I've, you know, talked to Sad Guru about this and his, you know, a whole experience. with this and I've talked to different people who are really into this. But all I can say is this.

It is fucking crazy when you learn to, when you, when you really start loving yourself, um, and betting on yourself the things that come back. And I would actually say that was the same for me and my relationships is that when I had a bad relationship with myself, I attracted bad relationships. You know, and toxic relationships. And, and I was, toxic in relationships. You know, it's not just a one-way street. Like, I can see my own fault in things. And I mean, we're never perfect, but I think the real key to all of this is like just continuously growing and just trying to be better. You know, there were things that, like, to be honest, like my biggest fear with having a baby girl was just me. I don't want to pass down

things that like, you know, I see, like, my parents were amazing. I'm so lucky to have the most incredible mom. But I see things in myself that I know I picked up from them. So kids are so smart. And I'm just like, I, there are certain things I have to get under control before we have a baby, you know, like, for example, my communication with my wife. Like that has to be, like, we have to know how to argue, how to fight and how to talk things out because I don't want to have one of my old relationships where voices are raised and it's scary. And like, I don't want that for a kid. And we're there. Like my wife and I are there now. You know, it's like we're at this place and it's, you know, she's the coolest. She's so freaking cool. I'm in the hot head a little bit. You know,

so it's like I had to like really just like, like understand that I had picked things up as a kid and kind of started to live them out as an adult. So we're all work of progress, but I'm trying. Yeah, but it's, again, like being accountable for all that stuff or like aware, the awareness, right? Totally, totally. Wanting to work on that and fix that. How did you and your wife get to that place together? Did you go to therapy? Did you just talk it out?

Or what was the method there? Yeah. So I think therapy is amazing. Like, I think it's amazing for so many people. But one thing I would say is it's really important that you go to some. who's like, like, I think that you should try out people or just try out until you feel like really safe with someone, you know, because I had gone to therapists in past relationships. And looking back, it wasn't a very ethical way to go about things.

When I look back, I'm just like, yeah, like we definitely should have found somebody who was completely, basically one of my exes, like her therapist ended up becoming our therapist. which I think is already like a no, which is already a no-no. That's a no-no. And yeah, and it was very strange. Like it was a very, and I remember being like, this doesn't feel right. This isn't right, but I never, but I'd never really done it. But rehab is really, like there's no magic pill for getting sober.

It's just, it's just like three years of therapy condensed into 50 days where you're just really doing the work on like why you are the way you are. So I feel grateful that I've had that foundation. And my wife and I, now, we don't. go to therapy. It's not like that's off the table. But I haven't felt like, or at least we haven't felt this like undying need to go yet. But I still think that again, like anything, like I know really healthy couples that just go to go. And I think that's great too. To be honest, I just feel like I'm usually the problem. She's like she's so, I'm just like I just, you know, I like there was

just things I needed to figure out for myself and I feel like I have. And we've, done it before the baby's coming and you know it the most important thing is that you live in consultation you know that's a sober thing too right it's just like constantly checking in with yourself and um just being like okay here's where i can improve here and i always feel like when we feel that we want something external to change in our lives it's because there's an issue internally that's right it's something that i've like really realized recently is like even something as simple as like going on vacation and there's nothing wrong with going on vacation. I love traveling. I think it's the most amazing that you can do. I love it. But I'm just saying like,

if you're like, damn, like I just, I want to be on a beach somewhere in Mexico. It's like, do you want to be on a beach somewhere in Mexico or do you like the person you think you're going to be when you're on that beach in Mexico? And is there something right now that you need to fix inside, have you not done the things that make you happy on a regular basis or that center you on a regular basis, whether it's going to the gym, whether it's meditating, whether it's journaling, whatever it is that you do. So that's really what I'm trying to work on now.

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Having the right tools for grooming is essential. Do yourself and your man a favor. Help him upgrade his self-care. One of the sayings I love is like your external experience is a direct reflection of your internal experience. 100%. And so every time you see something outside of you that you don't like, the question then becomes, what am I experiencing inside that I need to shift?

And again, it's the same thing. with the sobriety, it sounds like, oh, could it really be that simple? It is. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And then you're like, okay, well, then let me focus on that. And then after a while, your external starts to change. And look at your life. Like, you called in a woman that is ready to be a wife and a mother. And, you know, that's all because you looked inside, right? And changed things. I completely agree. Does she drink? How is she with being with a sober man? Lauren drinks for both of us. Not now, but...

Not right now, not right now. But I'm at a place where it's like, it really doesn't affect me. Too much good has happened in my life to feel like that. And to be honest, like alcohol wasn't the thing. For me, it was everything that happened after. I was going to ask you. It was drugs and all that stuff.

So like the drinking has never been an issue. So she definitely, and I promise you, if she has this baby, for all three of us. That's great. It sounds like you have gone through so much the past few years with finding your wife and having a baby, but she's been very open that you guys have also gone through miscarriages on top of that.

Yeah. So I'm curious from your perspective because I've had miscarriages myself. And as a woman, I know what that feels like. But what was it like on your end? Oh, man. I mean, this is probably not like. This is just that, you know, it really wasn't anywhere close to as hard as it was for me as it was for her. Right.

Yeah. I think it would be very different if we had to give birth. Yeah. Like if that had happened, I think that that is a whole different type of experience and a whole different type of trauma for people. But fortunately for us, that didn't happen. So it happened early enough where I've always been of the mindset, like if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Like something was clearly wrong. That's why your body aborted it.

And it's like, it is what it is. We figured out what the issue was. She had this like polyp on her uterus. We had it removed and we've been fine ever since. Yeah. The hardest thing for me was like most men that I know, they want to fix problems. Right. It's like that's what we want to do.

You want to fix it. Okay, what can I do? Like, I want to fix this. But you can't fix this. This is just something you've got to sit. in it with her. That's like how to really love her. And I can only imagine how she felt because it's like you feel broken until you start talking to people about it and you realize like, holy shit, Rachel Bilsen had a had a miscarriage. And oh my God, our best friends had a miscarriage.

They didn't even tell us. And this person did. And that's what like, Lauren was like, I want to say something. And I'm like, you do you. Like you do whatever you do. So I want to be. I want to be. because I feel like, like, even in my friend group or anybody, like, nobody talks about how normal this is. And it is normal. It is so normal. And, you know, for me, I like being open with it and about it because it's the same thing. It's like so many women go through this. And honestly, I've had a completely normal, healthy, great pregnancy. You know, I had nothing to do with not being able to. And I know there's other things I can go into it. But even my OB was like, no, like, you know, I forget the statistic, but it's just like one and three, isn't it?

So one in three. Yes. Yeah. It's so common. Yeah. And there's so many reasons why it can happen. And I like when it's talked about. And I commend your wife for for doing that because she had, uh, was it three?

Three. Three. Probably within a short time because you guys have been together for three years. So that's a lot to go through. Because I know as a woman, you can go through those thoughts of like, failure and you can't, you know what I mean? And you take it on in such a way, but to destigmatize it and be like, this is totally normal and you're totally like has nothing to do with, it's out of your control and it's not like your fault because I know women that take that on too.

But you seem like such a supportive partner. So I love hearing you say that you, you know, you knew you just had to like sit through it with her because you do want to fix things. But there's nothing you can do. And that is hard for men. I feel like that's something. I will say, I think sober men are incredible because I think they're handed kind of a guide to life that not a lot of people are. And even to know that like your job was just to hold space for her to go through what

she was going through and not try and fix it is a really big deal. And you guys as a couple, I feel like I'm really in awe of you being open about your sobriety. Like to me, that's a light. Like you're shedding. light on something that so many people struggle with and have so much shame and guilt around. And then your wife sharing that. Like when I was looking through her Instagram and I read that, I got teary-eyed and I was like, what, what a beautiful woman. Like we need people to be honest.

And social media and all of that is so geared towards looking like you have this perfect life. And people that are in your guys' situation that do have a great life come out and say, like, this was hard. Yeah. It makes all of the rest of us breathe a little bit easier. I agree. And I think, you know, I still haven't really figured out social media. Like, I know that there's a lot of benefits to it.

Like, I do believe, like, we all are kind of, like, now more connected than ever. And I love that. But it's such a fine line. Like, you know, we never, like, Lauren especially, it's like, you know, she isn't, like, we met over COVID. She's never experienced being in like the public eye or anything, right? She just wanted to do this to do it. It wasn't like, and then suddenly all these, you know, media outlets pick it up. And you got people on the street coming up to you being like, thank you.

You know, and it was like that was the special part. But, you know, it's always a struggle for me. Like I always find the best rule of thumb is just post and ghost. Do it if it's like, you know, coming from a good. Post and ghost, I love that. Do it from a good place. if you feel like you're going to help somebody and then just like get out of there. Yeah, get out.

So, yeah. Yeah, I know. It's true because things do come, you know, if I say something and it goes, it catches on and then you deal with that. But if you're talking about things like that are important and people can connect to, I totally commend it because. 100%. Fucking life, man, you know. Plus I said to her, I was like, look how many people you just helped. Yeah, right.

It's so special that you just did that. So special. Yeah. It's beautiful. is she adjusting to now being more in a public light being your wife and all of that? Honestly, Lauren is like, she's just, she's so rad, man. Like, she's just like, she really doesn't care, like about any of this, as it should be, right? Like, it's like, we're just doing a job or whatever. But like, you know, even we're shooting bad boys for right now. And it's like, if Lauren went

and met Will, like, or Martin, like, wouldn't even faze her. But like, she meets McSteamy. And now, like, It's so funny. Oh, that's so cute. It's amazing. I love it. It's amazing. I'm like, where is she? I feel like she's, I know.

She's on here. She's napping. Oh, good for her. She's very, I enjoy it. She's probably ready. She's ready to get this baby out, I would imagine. Oh, my God. I just, I don't, I don't know how you guys do it.

It's like, it is, this looks fucking awful. It is. I would just hate this. I mean, I get it for something. It's like, this is so beautiful. It's so horrible. Has she had an easy pregnancy? I mean, I've had an easy, like, time while she's been pregnant because she doesn't complain

about anything. Wow. But, like, no, it's not been, it's not been easy. Like, I think for her, she's got sciatica right now so she can barely walk. Yeah. And then I'm, like, going to go shoot a film. And I'm just, like, leaving her here with two dogs. It's like, you know, it's not, it's not ideal.

So I'm trying to come back as much as I can. But, I mean, she's such a trooper. Aw. Will you be there for the birth? Yeah. So this is a crazy thing that, like, you know, life is so funny. It's like you realize that it's just like it is really as simple as you think it is. Whereas it's like, how do actors like figure out like how they're going to go see?

Like, you don't, you don't know. You actually just don't know. It's it, it is that simple in that. No, it's not like the studio goes, okay, well, here's your slot where you're going to the baby. It's because like we don't even know when we're having the baby. We know it's supposed to be May from here to here. So I do know that I have a week off leading up to her giving birth. And I might have a couple of days on the back end. But it's really like touch and go. The other option we had was to move her to Atlanta because we have a place there and we were going to go live there.

But her OBs here. Our friends are here. Like she has like people she can call. And it just felt like, yeah, it felt like we're just feeling just move for me. So I can. can be there. It's like, I'm going to do everything I can, obviously. Like, if she's in labor, like, you know, I'm going to a will and be like, you fire up your jet motherfucker. Yeah. He has kids. He should get it. You're like, or I'll tell people you slap me too. But it's like, yeah. I'm like, I'm, I am, I got to get back. But they've been so amazing on production and it's been great. So I think we'll be fun. But, you know, fingers. Cross. You know, it's so funny, we were talking to Rachel Lee Cook yesterday, and she had two kids and her

husband was working, and she induced both pregnancies so he could be there for the births. And I was like, that's crazy. And it's now talking to you today, it's like, yeah, scheduling and you can't plan it. And I'm like, well, should more an induce? Like, I was thinking the same thing, Rachel. I was like, well, do we induce her? Like, yeah. I think that's, so that is the plan. Like, if she has a given birth by the due date, then that's going to be the conversation. But you can't really decide if you're going to induce until like around that like oldie lock zone. Totally.

So that would be a good plan. I do hear that like when you induce labor though, it's like it's a lot. It's like harder. Olivia went through that. Yeah. It's not fun. Oh my God. I'm not going to lie.

It's not. It's not fun. But I would, if I was given the choice of my husband being there and going through that hard, you know, induction. Yeah. or having it more graceful, I would choose to be induced to have my husband there, I think. I think that's probably how Lauren would feel as well. Yeah.

So, yeah. Yeah. I have to commend you, though, for your, like, her support system as in Austin and, like, her OB and everything. And, like, you doing what, you know, you feel is best for her. Like, that just really touches my heart. I think that is so, like, you're a good guy. What can I say? Thanks, Rachel.

And she's going to need that. Try it. Honestly, she's going to need that. If you're working, she's going to need that support system more than anything. Because it's really hard in the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. It really is.

Yeah. Yeah. And will her folks be around? Her folks? Who am I? I don't know. Who are you? What are folks?

Will her folks be on down there? My mom was just here helping us get, get ready. which like we set up like the stroller and like you know like the thing for the car. What do you call that a car seat? What's that thing? Yeah. A baby? A baby?

That was awesome. And then her mom is flying out, I think like a week before we're due. And her dad sadly passed a few years back. Oh no. I'm so sorry. No. It's the saddest, I mean, it's obviously the saddest part is that he's passed, but I'm also just devastated. I never got to meet him.

Oh, shoot. Yeah. So that sucks. But I do feel like I've kind of got a pretty good idea what he was like, you know, when I hear all these stories and stuff of him. So, yeah. Yeah. That's so hard. Yeah.

It is hard. It's also hard for her, I'm sure. There's like a bittersweet thing about having your baby and, you know. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Olivia has, I mean, can relate because her father passed when she was young.

So I know you've gone through that. Like, Jeff never met him. And, you know. Oh, yeah. My husband, I showed him a picture the other day. I had never seen it was of me and my dad. And my husband just starts bawling. And he's like, I just wish I knew him, you know?

And it's so sweet because I feel like you still can connect and know the person. Yeah. And it's really heartwarming to see the effect it can have on your partner, you know? How old are you? When you pass? I was 15. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's like, that's just a horrible age. I mean, there's no good age, but that is a horrible age to lose your dad. Yeah, I don't think there is a good age. But 15 is a tricky age in general. So I think, yeah, it is a little hard at that time. Yeah. But then, you know, I look at someone, Lauren's age, and I'm like, well, it's almost worse sometimes the more you have as someone.

For sure. You know, because then you're letting go of many more years of memories and, you know, yeah. Broad Ideas is supported by HelloFresh. Flavor is in full bloom at HelloFresh. Enjoy the tastes of spring with chef-crafted recipes featuring ripe seasonal ingredients delivered right to your door. HelloFresh is more than just delicious dinners. Not only can you take your pick from 40 weekly recipes, but you can choose from over 100 items to round out your order, from snacks and easy lunches to desserts and pantry necessities.

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That's hellofresh.com slash idea 16 and code idea 16 for 16 free meals and free shipping. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. I know, and you, you know, have been open about like mental health stuff and that probably went hand in hand. with, you know, wanting to get sober and whatnot. And what's your relationship like now with mental health? I know that there are, have you ever, have you ever, like, read anything about, like, the Stoics? You know, Stoic.

Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah? We have like a, yeah. We have like an insight joke about it. Yeah. So, yes. Okay.

You guys, have you ever talked to Ryan Holiday? No. No. Who's that? I should put you in touch with Ryan. He lives in Austin, but he's like a New York Times bestselling author. He's my favorite author. And he writes like modern day books about the Stoics.

So he has a book called The Obstacle is the Way. He's got one called Courage of Calling. Stillness is the key. Discipline is destiny. He's phenomenal. Yes. So I went and did his podcast. But the reason I was bringing this up was just that it's really interesting when I read about them.

And I'm like, wow, these people back in the day had this. the exact same problems we have today. It's just our environment has changed. Right. But like it was just like they, you know, comparison was still a thing and, you know, you know, want to make your father proud and the stress of life and trying to, you know, take your finances or like to all those things. Those all existed back then.

And they figured out like kind of a way to live a joyous, still and happy life. So, you know, that has been hugely helpful for me in my mental health is like realizing that there really is joy in discipline. It's that, it's a famous line like, if you do what is hard, your life will be easy. Yeah. If you do what is easy, your life will be hard. And though going to the gym once doesn't seem like a big deal or even twice, but you go to the gym every day for 100, days and you're going to see a difference. And it's the same thing. It's the compounding interest of like consistently doubling down on yourself. And look, like I talk about this like I've got to figure it out.

It's it is always a work in progress. There's days where I don't do it. But for me, like my routine, like the gym is so important to me. It's just like that's my, that's my church. Yeah. You know, and gratitude is a huge thing. for me as well. I feel like that really is the way out. Like, no matter how much research I do, it's like, I always end up at the, at gratitude. It's like that is the answer to like everything, right? It is. Yeah. You know, that's even a hard one, you know, to do consistent. It's something that you ought to force yourself to do. And naturally, it's like, if you have no point of reference, you really have to train yourself to be grateful for things. It's like, you know, that we take for granted.

it. Yeah, we do. It's all about gratitude. And I've been working on that a lot, like, just just being grateful for every little thing and acknowledging it and like, and it is an act, like a work in progress and you have to just be active, you know, with it. 100%. I remember your mom, Rachel, taught me. I was going through a really hard time. And I called her and it was about my family. Like there was some sort of drama going on. and I wanted her to help me figure it out. And instead of helping me figure it out, she's like, I just want you to close your eyes

and do a rampage of gratitude. And I was like, how is that? Like, I need to go save them or, you know what I mean? And she was like, just get present and just get gratitude. And I still do that as a pattern interrupt all the time. When the mind starts to swirl, I'll just be like, okay, I'm grateful for, X, Y, and Z.

And it's a great way to just interrupt the pattern of letting your mind spiral. Yeah. I work on that with my daughter. She's eight. And yesterday she was hangary. So that played into it. But she didn't get all the kids got handed out randomly a prize at the end of a class. And all of her friends got slime and she got this ball, right?

And she was so pissed. She was so mad. And she was like, I already have this. And I was like, hold up. You know, I had to stop her, but she was hangary, so I had to give her a little grace, but And cheese. And I was like, yeah, or some cheese. And, and yeah, anyway, I was like, listen, okay, I hear you.

Sometimes life is disappointing and feels not fair. But the one thing you always have to be is grateful because you were given this today, you know. She was a little grumpy and then she came around later, but, but it's true. You know, it's a practice. It's a practice. You know? I love so much that you do that. Like that is, it's just like, that's incredible parenting.

I want to, I want to be that for our daughter, you know, like, I love that. Like, instilling in that in them at such an early age is so huge. And I also think that that probably just helps you a lot too. Yeah, right. It sounds like such a stupid thing, but then you realize that, like, that you do have to train your mind to do these practices. Like, it's not supposed to be easy. But over time, it does have a lot of.

impact. A lot of parenting stuff. It's not easy. Your patience level, like, oh my goodness, it is so hard to not lose your patience, especially, you know, during certain times. And it's all an active practice. And, you know, you just try your best not to fuck up and you just need to keep them alive. But other than that, like all the things, you know. But it is interesting. I like that you didn't say, oh, don't worry, I'll get you slime. No. Because I think it's, it's really important that we do teach our children, I understand you're disappointed. Yeah. And that's it. I said I understand you're disappointed. And sometimes life isn't fair. Like things happen that aren't fair. Yeah. I mean, I did say at one point, I'm like,

you have slime. Like, what are you talking about? But that was later. That was after the, you know, the important things were said. But it's true. And she doesn't usually act that way. So I, you know, the hunger thing was real. But it was just an important thing to acknowledge. And, you know, we just, we left early. She was really pissed. I was thrilled. I hate slime. Let me tell you, one parenting advice for you, like, don't fucking let slime in your house.

No. It is a disaster. Where do you even get slime? Oh, the kids make it all the time now. Okay? They make it. Oh, it's a thing. You know, party favor bags.

It is every parent's worst nightmare. Caught in the hair. Anyways, that's my, if I can pass anything on to you. Don't let time in your house. That's great advice. Thank you. You are welcome. We have some questions that we, you know, sometimes they're fun. Sometimes they're not.

Sometimes we like to have fun. Is there a role that you really wanted that you didn't get? Yeah. I made my whole life. There's tons of roles I wanted that I didn't get. And I think it's as, I mean, I felt so many lives. losses early on. When did you start acting, Rachel?

Were you like... It was after high school that I started after high school. After high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I was like a kid and it really fucks you up early on when you're just like, you know, especially because like when I first got in the business, I booked my first commercial

everyone else for. So I was like, oh, I got this shit on love. Right? And, you know, you audition, audition, audition. You get 100 nose and 1,000 nose. and finally get a yes. I mean, one I remember really wanting that I didn't get was The Hunger Games. So I was testing with Jen for the lead of that opposite her.

And it was me, Josh, and one other guy. And Josh and I, like, came up as kids. Josh was like a super, super successful child actor. And, you know, he ended up getting the role. And at the time, it felt like just crushing because I felt like I had it. And then, of course, they offered me the bad guy in that film, which was kind of like a caveat.

The funniest part about this is looking back on my life now, I am so, so, so grateful. I didn't get that role. Because I didn't love acting yet, and I didn't know what it took to be great. And if I'd gotten that role, I would have thought I knew it all. And it took a show like Vikings,

working with some of these most incredible and seasoned actors every day on its show that nobody was seeing at the beginning, but just I was doing it because I loved it. That is where I really grew. And over six years, I was like, damn, like, I loved this. This isn't about, like, anything other than just the process and the work. You know, our business can be very, without, like, throwing out names,

but, like, you know, a lot of the guys that I came up with had success really, really. while I didn't, but I don't see them around as much anymore. And I think that it can be this blessing and a curse at the same time because I had to learn that I had to start loving the process and really doing the work to survive in this business. Because even after a movie like The Hunger Games, it's like this is the biggest movie of the year. And then I still have to audition?

Like what? Right, right. I'm so confused. And I talk to actors about this all the time. So like even, and I hope he doesn't mind me saying this, but like even like somebody like Jake Gyllenhaal when we did this last movie together, like we talked about this, right? And it's just perception because Jake's like Alexander,

like it's not like it all comes to me. He's like, I still got to go out and get the things that I want. And I realize it never ends. So if you come from a place of like ego in this business, you get humbled so quickly. Yeah. And you either turn into an asshole and are just like bitter. And I know people like that or you turn into somebody who's like, hold on, I'm going to be like the stoic version of myself and I'm going to love the process.

And all the things that I really wanted in this business are going to come to me as a byproduct of loving the work. And it's so much easier said than done because there are days where you're like, hold on, I just got offered this. but now this person wants me to read for this and blah, blah, it's like, you're so confused. Because it's, because that idea we have in our mind of like when it all ends, once you get to this place and you're set, it's not like that ever. Ever. And that's life, right? Anywhere you get, you want to be pushing past your last level you were on. 100%.

But like even the best actors in the world where the AIS actors that I've worked with that I know, like, there are roles they lose to other people. Yeah. You know, and then I think the biggest kind of lie we're told as actors is like the idea of competition, I think is a very interesting one because we're not athletes. Like there's this idea like, like, he beat you for this or you beat him for this. Or she beat you. It's like that is not how this game works. Right.

Art is subjective. And I might not be the right person to play a rule. Like, I'm going to have to be good with that, you know. Like, I may be more right for Vikings than I am to play the math elite in, you know, this next thing. Like, I have to be okay with that, even though part of me really does want to play that role. Right. You know, it doesn't mean that I shouldn't keep working on my craft and growing as an actor to be the best one I can be. But I think there's a really important thing that actors in general need to do and realize, like, we live in an abundant world.

We're not in competition with each other. And if one person gets a job, they didn't take your job. Right. They took a job. Right. You know, and I think that that's such a, it's such a fucking hard one to remember, you know, but it's interesting as I get older. I see guys that like, you know, are finally breaking through in different ways that I've known forever.

And it's like, wow, if you really stick through this, it does happen. Yeah. You just got to keep going. Yeah. You know? I think there's life lessons and everything. And even like, I've told the story before where I lost a role. and literally the girl is like my doppelganger,

and it was so hard for me personally to like understand. But then I got the OC because I didn't get that part. So like there's all these lessons, right? And you're like, okay, well, this really, I know that this happened for whatever reason. And the same cast and director then brought me in for the OC and like whatever. You know, and that's just like a little example of just like a bigger life lesson, you know, big picture.

And that's my thing is like I'm like I always try to go into rooms now. And like Brian Cranston says this in his book, a life of parts. And if you haven't read it, it's phenomenal, life in parts. And Brian especially, you should read his book because he's somebody who broke very, very late, right? And in comparison to other people, which is funny. But he's like, I'm never there to get a role. I'm there to give a performance. Oh. I love that. I think, you know, I'm there to give a performance, not to get a job. And I think for me, it's like, I'm there to make a fan. You know, whatever happens happens. And fortunately, you know, things do get easier as in this business long.

You know, more things come your way. But at the end of the day, the real things that you want, you're probably going to have to fight for like everybody else. And that's okay. Yeah. And also the sticking with it, like I'm here in Pennsylvania right now doing my first, like, movie at 43 years old. 43 years old, her first movie and she's won at her whole life.

This is your first film? Yes. I've done like little parts in small films, but this is, I booked my first film at 40. three years old. Let's fucking go. That's awesome. I love you. It is.

It is awesome. It's a most awesome thing that's happened to me. And it is like I was told I'm too old to this, to that. And I had to really, really, really, really do a lot of work on the limiting beliefs. And, you know, Rachel, Rachel knows. But 43 years old. Yep. I'm pretty sure Sam Jackson's first role was when he was like 46. 45, I think. Really? Oh, I always, I always tell myself I am the next Sam Jackson.

Well, but I'm serious. Like, if you think about it, like, you're going to be, like, your story already now is going to inspire so many people. And like, we don't know, I don't know, like, we don't know where faith or whatever you want to call it is going to take us. But like, this is so incredible. And I'm so happy. It's like finally happened. for you and you got that, you're going to crush it. You're going to crush it. She's amazing. I'm going to crush it. I am. It's the best thing. Like, we've been celebrating for, you know, the past.

It's so cool. I, like, I taped herself, taped her in our podcast room. We were like, just fucking go for it. And she did it. And we're so proud. But it's the perfect example, don't give up, right? Ever. Ever.

Ever. Um, Alexander, what's your ideal bedtime? Damn. That is a really. So, okay. Your morning star, start. the night before. And it is your morning start the night before.

Like, it's like if I, I need to be in bed, I am so bad at going to bed, but I need to be going to bed at like, I need to be in my bedroom at like nine. And I need to be like asleep at 10. Now that, like, that is like, that is a pipe dream because you know this in this business. And Olivia, like, you'll know this too, be on this job. Like, there is no consistency. So it's like, well, I might not always be able to get eight hours of sleep. Like, that's just like, I want to, but I might not.

Like, I know if I went to bed at nine, like, if I was asleep at nine, I'd be like the happiest person every single day. And I'd be getting up at like six in the morning or five in the morning. I'd be great. But like, I've done those nights too where like I've gotten four hours of sleep and got up and gone to the gym. Because that's what we're told to go do. And you realize like that is just not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. at all. And all you're going to do is just end your life quicker. So it's like you got to find that balance of like just feeling good and getting that right amount of sleep. So 10 is usually

when I'm when I'm asleep. I find myself like purposely trying to stay awake until 10 because if I fall asleep when I want to at 9 like right after my daughter or whatever, my body will wake up at 4 a.m. because it won't allow me to so I'm like literally I'm like keeping my eyes open trying to stay awake till 10. I mean we sound like real ragers. I know. Clearly we are. I know. We party hard. Grandma's over here. Yeah, I was talking to, so Vanessa Hudgens and I do,

bad boys the other. And Vanessa's like, yeah, let's go out for dinner. I'm like, yeah, let's go up for dinner. I was like, you know, what time you're thinking? You know, like, like seven maybe? And she's like, I was like, well, like, how about six? She's like, oh my God, thank God. Thank God.

Seven is just too late. Like six is where, yeah. Seven is too late. I'm like, no, if 5.30 did that. 530 early bird. Like, are we, actually? grandparents now? Oh my God.

I love Vanessa. She is just, oh, she is so awesome. And I love that. She said that I love her even more now. Yeah, she's such a dull. And, I mean, talk about another real one. Like that, she, you know, she had so much success so young and just has just stayed so amazing and just so humble and love her.

And she likes an early bedtime and early dinner. Yeah. Yeah. If you could go on one reality show, which would it be? Survivor. I knew you were going to say that. Yeah. I knew it.

I knew to win. I'm obsessed with Survivor. Wait, don't they do like a celebrity survivor that you could go on? Do they? I feel like they should if they don't. I was thinking they should do something. I know that people have done like things in them. But see, the thing is if even one person knows you, you're fucked.

Right. You're going to get voted out so quickly. Right. That's true. Wait, but what about Bear Grills? I know he does that show where you can go with him. I almost did that with him and then we had like a scheduling conflict and we couldn't do it. But I would love to go do it. Jake did that, didn't he?

Did you talk to him about it? I never talked to him about it. I know Vanessa did it. And she told me all about it. She did? Yeah. That's so cool. So cool.

Yeah, I could see you on Survivor and I'm, yeah. Yeah. You would win as long as nobody, you know, fucked you over, which I know can happen. What's the last thing you Googled? Car seat. I know. Be honest. Who is Rachel Bilsen?

Well, I just, well, I mean, to be. fair, I just googled Sam Jackson's first role. Oh, okay. We were talking? We were talking. Okay. And then the other one is mastering presets in Logic ProX. Whoa.

You just spoke a different language. Yeah, what does that mean? So, like, for, like, I love, I love, like, producing music on my computer, so I'll look up, like, presets and stuff. It's something I do on planes when I go from, like. Got it. No. I know.

We didn't even touch on that. Yeah. Yeah. Your voice. Music singer. Hello. Your voice is incredible. Oh, thanks.

I mean, you were born to sing country music. When I heard it, I was like, that would have been a real mistake if you didn't. It's just really hard to be honest. Like, it's really hard to do both. And I always said to them, like, I'm just, you got to, I got to be on my own timeline here. Like, I can't give up acting for this. So it's got to be like something that I can do on my terms as a point. opposed to like, you know, because all the community is there in Nashville right now, writing and

writing and writing and writing. Like, it is a grind, like our business is a grind. And I love it, but like trying to do both 100% is tough. So I'm like, I love it and I want to do it forever as long as they'll let me do it forever. And they're okay with that like kind of longer horizon. Right. But how did it come, you know, being from Vancouver, like how did country music happen? So there's a huge country music scene in Canada, specifically in like Calgary, which is, but also, like, you grew up like playing hockey. It's like you're in the hockey dressing rooms with your buddies. Everybody's listening to country music. What? Oh, yeah.

I got to ask Hayden about this. I don't know. He's never said that before. And then like I would grow up driving this like a long stretch of road called Highway 99 from Vancouver to Whistler Mountain. And that's her like my mom. And I would play like, you know, old classic. rock and country music and all of that. So like, and I find I'm at most peace, like in the mountains where I love, love to be. Like, Whistler is like my own. So I don't know. It's just, it's always spoken to me more than anything else.

And after I finished Vikings, I just started taking trips to Nashville because I wanted to write. And I didn't know anybody. And then one day I'm boarding a plane and these guys come up to me and they said that they're big fans of lone survivor, which was this Navy SEAL film I did. and I ended up by pure happenstance sitting right behind them on the plane. We talked the whole way. By the end of the time I land, I've sent them my demo. Turns out they produce and play with Jason Aldeen.

Oh, wow. Who's like one of my favorite artists ever. And now Jason's a friend and I'm signed at the same label. And it's just like the world is just a crazy, crazy place. That's so fucking cool. But I do think that that's the same thing we're talking about, though. It's like, you know, you're honoring yourself and, like, just like doing it because you love something. It's so weird what will happen.

Right. Right. Yeah. You're putting it out there. What's your line, Lou? Say it. Spirit meets you at your point of action. Whoa.

Whoa. I love that. Right. Don't you? Spirit meets you at your point of action. Yeah. Yeah. So Olivia also, she did light.

She is a life coach and she's been doing that for a long time as well. So that, you know, she was. went to spiritual psychology school and that was her path for a while. But yeah, so she always has the zingers. I learned a lot. Do you still practice? I do. I do. I've taken a tidbit of a step back only because I'm so busy with this and all of the podcast and kids. It's hard being a movie star and a superstar podcast. But the cool part is I'm playing a psychiatrist. And so it's like all those. world. It's kind of full circle.

Full circle moment. Yeah. Yeah. But that's awesome. I know. I know. She's done well. I also like you take the first step, spirit takes the next.

Because that's cool. Yeah. It's really saying you still have to step. You can't just pray and visualize and all of that without taking the steps and the actions. And once you do, then it does feel like the universe starts conspiring with you. I have a quote on my phone that says, you get what you are. Ooh, I like that. And I feel like so much of it is just so much good in my life has come when I felt good.

Yeah. Does that make sense? Of course. So it's like, so if I'm doing the things that I need you to take care of me, my universal world will take care of itself. So it's like just be the thing that you want. want and it'll it'll come be the person that you think you will be just be it now yeah you know right i love that oh i love that you wait okay really quick the last thing since we talked about music if you could listen to only one album for the rest of your life which would it be full man i mean um

for the rest of my life yeah i don't know what album this is i mean it would be sam cook yes i love sam Yeah, but I don't know what album. I don't know what album. Yeah. Maybe what about his greatest hits. Sam Cooke's greatest hits. Right? Yeah.

Perfect. Oh, fuck. That's so good. That really just touches my soul, man. You are just such a beautiful light, Alexander. Yeah, you are. You guys too. You're incredible.

I'm so happy for you and you're going to become a dad. And that's so awesome. I just want all, everything good and light for you in your life because you are just a gem, my friend. You really are. Oh, back at you guys. I love Alexander. Love Alexander. He had his baby.

We literally talked to him. He's like, yeah, I'm like a month. I'm going to be having my baby. And then she was born like two days later or something. The baby came a month early. Yeah. He's a special guy. He is.

I love him. Yeah. It was so much fun. Talking to him and reconnecting with him. He is just a gem of a human, that guy. So I'm really into tea. You know I'm really into high tea. and Breyer was homesick and I made her a little tower of her own high tea for lunch that'll

crustless sandwiches and her tea. Dude, I'd never want to go to school. It was very cute. That is cute. I have to say. I enjoy those kinds of things. How was high tea with your mother for her birthday? It was nice, but I have to say.

So my mom always wanted to try this one place and it's supposed to be really nice and it's really expensive and we went and you know what it wasn't as good as our old faithful that we like to go to so we did it once and i don't think we'll do it again okay there was a harp there was a harpist so that was different but yes so we will not go back for tea any hewelhouser any huelhouser yeah olivia's in her office still i miss derrick waters can we have him on again yeah derrick needs to come visit. Yeah. Derek, if you're listening.

This is a public service announcement, and we want you back. I want you back. Back. Rob's favorite. Rob loves when we bust out the boy bands. Do you even know who sings that? Backstreet boys, probably. Backstreet's back.

Is it backstreet or insane? Honestly, I can't remember who. I kind of think. Backstreet boys. If they say backstreet's back, I would also... No, that's not in that song. Not in that song, but I want you back. Isn't that in sync?

Can you Google it? Because I want you back. I'm going in sync. You're going back street. Let's see. Because I want you back. Yeah, it's in sync. Because I knew it so well.

I knew it had to be in sync because I was an in sync girl. Not a backstreet girl. Me too. What about you, Rob? I just loved them all. Can you imagine Rob going to a boy band concert? Did you ever go to a boy band concert?

Me? Yeah. That's a great question. You would know because we would have gone together. Did we ever go? I don't think so. I know I definitely saw New Kids on the Block. Oh, okay.

But I did not. I saw Justin perform in, York, but that was just Justin and it wasn't insane. It was just in his apartment. It was just Justin. It was just him serenading. I saw him with

nerd, N-E-R-D. Oh, you're throwing out some old school right now. That was a night. That was a fucking night. I don't think I was there. I know I was there and I was wearing a Terry cloth jumpsuit.

Hell. And I accidentally peed on it. What? Like you popped to squat? No, the toilet seat was down and I had had a little bit to drink. And I didn't realize that. And I was like squatting over the toilet, you know, because you don't want to touch it. But the seat was down.

So the pee just poured off the top and onto my Terry Clause jumpsuit. Well, at least it was a towel. It was a towel and I didn't leave. Because there was someone there. I wanted to see. And I was like, I'm going to stay in my pee-pee jumpsuit. And then when he hugged me, he was like, you're sopping wet. And I was like, it's pee. You're like, it's you. It's pee. Yeah. You told him it was pee? I told him it was pee. And I think he said, I love you. Yeah. That would be, that's a panty dropper. It's a panty dropper. Being that up front with it.

Let me ask you guys an important question. When you're public peeing in a public bathroom, are you, no matter what, and Rob, this is pooping for you, no matter what, putting protection down before you sit, or do you sit without caring? Oh, God, no. That's a most insane thing I've ever heard. I feel so strongly about that as well. Like, I would even have portable travel-sized potty, you know,

protectors that you can keep in your purse just in case. I am with you a thousand percent. I know people that just fucking sit on any toilet anywhere or any time. I do think, I don't think you can actually get like sick or anything from it if you do though. Right. So it's all for you. I think the grossest part is, at least in a men's room, is there's usually piss on the toilet seat. So sitting on someone else's piss is not an option.

No, it's disgusting no matter what. So I put the things down and I still squat over it. Well, that's weird. I don't even sit on. That's weird, Olivia. What is that doing? In case it touches my legs. That's weird.

No, I can't sit on it. It's disgusting. Well, you're not. Even with things down, you don't sit on it? No, there's always pee on the toilet seats. Then you ball up some toilet paper and clean it and... I don't want to clean someone's pee. I put the things down and I squat over it.

That's weird. kind of wasteful sometimes if there's pee on it because like I will do four of the covers. Well, yes, I mean you... I do too and I don't even sit on it. That's so weird. It's a way, yeah. Why would you bother? Because if my leg touches the thing while I'm squatting, I can't have someone else's pee on me.

That's disturbing. Then put it on your leg. Your waist and that doesn't make any sense. I'm not wasting. It's if the seat touches my leg from squatting. and there's pee on it. Yeah. That's a problem.

We heard you explain it. There's never a toilet seat that I've ever gone to, rarely, that you can just put the things down and there still isn't pee. And I am not having someone else's pee touch my legs. It's creepy. Do you guys, does this happen to you? I use my foot to flesh, too. I do that, too. Of course.

Absolutely. You don't touch that shit. But let me ask you, do you guys get peefright? No. Rob? Yeah, maybe a little bit. I mean, it's different, though. That's how I got like a stand-up urinal. Well, yeah.

But like for me, if there's like a line and people are waiting and like I'm in there and I have to pee, I get nervous and sometimes I can't pee because people are waiting and they get too nervous that they can't pee. I don't care if I'm in the stall. It's more when it's at a urinal. It's just like 40 people cramped next to you and you're like shoulder to shoulder. Do dudes like tend to look over and like check out other two screeners? No, I don't think so. But it's still, it's still, yeah. So these guys I'm here with, they said there, someone came out and they're like, that guy is a bathroom creeper.

And I was like, what does that mean? They're like, a man should never smile while in the bathroom. Is this true? What? Yeah. They're like, just teach your sons now. Never smile in the bathroom. Just don't do it. I've never heard that rule, but I guess I could see how that'd be creepy. Do you smile in the bathroom? I don't know. Like if you're...

Yeah, like if you're peeing. Not if I'm just by myself and it's with... Like my... They're the friend, maybe. There'll be a smile that'll happen. While pissing? While pissing? If we're like talking...

You talk while you pissed? If you're with someone. You'd like hold your dick out and pee. And smile and talk and just have a conversation. I mean, I'm not saying you're smiling the whole time, but you can continue a conversation while peeing and just looking ahead. Like, you don't have to make eye contact. Do you ever poop publicly with a friend and they're in the next stall and you continue conversing?

No. Oh, that's never happened? Not to me. I'm sure it's happened to someone. How do you feel about pooping publicly? Yeah, how do you feel about pooping publicly? It's not my favorite thing to do. I hope it's not

I mean that would be so You're like I purposely just go I wait To the gas station I also have a very fancy toilet That I invested in You do have a great toilet You do have a good toilet

I do enjoy peeing when we come to I sit right on that fucker I do always have pee on that seat though But since it's warm you can't tell You pee on the seat You don't lift it No I do I'm just trying to freak He does

He's trying to freak me out He is No your toilet is like a warm welcome. It always feels really nice. No, Rachel. No. It's not. It's just like cozy and warm and makes you feel good. I actually really want one of those toilets. Yeah, they're so nice. Do you put the toilet seat down, Rob, after you pee? Yeah. Olivia, how do you feel about if a dude doesn't do that? I think it's rude. I think it's, yeah, I don't like it. Because if you're in the middle of the night and you go and you fall in the toilet. It's not kind. Has that happened to you? Yes, it's never happened to you.

You've never fallen in the toilet? I've fallen in the toilet. I've had, I've had, oh, well, I've had courteous partners, but I've also, in my current setup, I kind of have a his and her bathroom situation, so I keep that shit separate, and it's nice. The blue ones, the his? The green. The green one. Or green, sorry. But don't they just go in your bathroom anyways? No. So no matter what, they go to the other bathroom? Yeah. I mean, it's connected. Like, they're both there.

What, like, what if they just are going to, like, naturally go to yours because it's in your bedroom? I know the other one is connected, too. It doesn't happen. I'm going to make a state. I'm going to start using yours. Rob. One of the one over there.

No. I was going to go in there instead. Rob, don't you dare. That is my space. We all three use separate bathrooms at your house. I know. Olivia goes to Briars. Rob goes to the green

and I go to mine. Yeah. But I'm going to start using yours. Mm-mm. My favorite room in your house is the green bathroom. You know what's so interesting? I like that bathroom. I don't like using that bathroom.

Because you've made it reserved for someone else in your mind. Do you think that's what it is? That you normally end up painting. What? You're like, that's their fucking bathroom. All them. No, it's a really nice bathroom. I feel like it's a nice thing for me to do.

Like, this is your space. It is nice, but I was just curious. Like, I feel like I would have to direct. No. I feel like if that was my room, Jeff would just go pee wherever the hell he wants. He's not going to just go to his bathroom. Well, it's not like far. Like, they're both kind of people proximity.

No, I know. It's right there. Yeah. Well, I'm going to start going further to use yours now. Rob. The green one is the closest. Rob, you're irritating me. Do not use my bathroom.

You know what I miss, you guys? What? You guys. I miss being in person with you. Going a little crazy? In this hotel, in the middle of Pennsylvania nowhere. I die. Every time I call her Rob, I FaceTime her.

She's sitting on her hotel bed against the headboard. That's her new office. So you didn't get fired from the movie, right? No, I didn't. Great. That's good. Yeah. That's good news.

Great news. She's doing great. Tonight, she's a big night for her. I got a big night tonight, guys. Your first nude scene? No. Jesus, Rob. Nobody wants to see me nude.

That's the good part about acting when you're a little bit older. Is there nobody's trying to see your boobies? That's it? I mean, no, I think that can come, Olivia. I think there definitely could be a role or they're like, will you show your boobs? How do you feel about that? Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that. So when I was younger, I was like, absolutely not. I almost lost a role because I was like, I'm not getting naked. But now I'm kind of like, well. Now you wish she would have got naked then. Well, yeah, like nice perky 20-year-old boobs. Like, sure, you haven't had a kid yet.

You didn't have a baby. You didn't have a baby. Although, I don't know that I would, I would still do it. I'm not saying I would definitely do it now. Depends on the project and situation and whatever. But I'm not saying absolutely not because I don't know that I care as much. I don't really, like, yeah, like, when they go down your shirt and, like, Mike you and all that stuff, they're, like, very, very careful. Of course. No, but I'm like, it's fine. They're like, do you need to do it yourself? I'm like, it's fine.

Like, I've had children in front of people. There's no more modesty left. You ask them to pinch your nipples when they're doing that. While you're down there. Just give me a little tweak. But I feel like if I were to do a nude scene, I would have to have, like, like, rules. Like, I'd be fine with it if I was laying down. I don't feel like I'd be okay walking around without my shirt on.

Zoe Lister Jones has a new show that I think she directed a bunch, and she had to direct herself in a nude scene, and like, while naked had to direct everyone else. And just, I saw an article or something about her talking about how interesting that situation was. That is interesting. But there's a difference between walking and laying down. But laying down, sometimes they just sprawl, like, sideway. And I'm fine with that.

You'd rather that than upright? I think I'd rather be upright. I nursed for six years. That's a lot. It's a lot. Yours still look good when you walk. Only when I walk. Just not so much the sitting down.

No, I'm actually fine. Like, I feel fine about my boobs. Like, I'm fine. Rob, how do you feel about nudity if you were asked to get nude in a project? I don't know. I don't... I have never played that scenario out in my mind.

That's why we're asking. That's why we're asking. I don't know. Yeah. Look at him. If everyone could see Rob's face right now. Of course, I would do it. Would you care if your girl did?

I don't think it specifically. It's different because she's not an actress, so it'd be weird. if she started doing somewhere. I don't think Jeff would care at all. If you got nude? I don't think you would either.

But it's also, yeah, we've been conditioned you guys have been whipping your boobs out for the last six years feeding kids in public places. Yeah. Yeah. I do think that changes things for women. It's not so precious anymore.

Or sexual. It's like, Every doctor's seen them and I don't know. It just feels less. More like an utter. Yeah. Exactly like an utter. Do you want to talk about your week, Rachel? No, my week.

God damn it. About what happened. Olivia sent us this video today. Was it TikTok? What was it on? About oversharing? Oh, yeah. That was good.

That was funny. It just brings me to think like the age-old debate, what's the difference between an overshare and vulnerability yeah sure or just honesty transparency there just seems to be

a lot of attention on certain things that I say sometimes should we do you want to unpack all that I mean there's not like a ton to unpack I just think it's interesting what's being talked about but what's more interesting is that it's such a big deal

that it's talked about. Right. I think that's the bigger thing, right? And it's been interesting, like, people have sent me articles that, like, the comment I had made a few weeks ago, how it's sparked conversations on, you know, sex education and what women and girls know and all this stuff. And I'm like, okay, well, maybe this is an interesting topic and a conversation that should be happening, but it's just interesting how the media can spin it and, like, put it.

all these clickbait headlines out there. Well, the fact that they're becoming clickbait headlines when they're very common things. Topics. Yeah, for sure. Is speaking to that. I think so. Yeah, but it's also, it makes me upset and here's why.

Because people don't make a big deal about sexuality. Every TV show you watch, every movie you watch, every book you read, every, every, everything that gets anyone's attention for the most part has something to do with either sex or violence, right? And yet, in every movie, people can show their tits and they can simulate sex scenes and all that. But you say one comment. About your personal preference? Yeah. And it's like goes viral and is such a big deal. And it's like, wait, what? Why? Why? Why? If a woman speaks about sex, oh my God. But let's show it in everything we do. You know?

Yeah. No, it's true. I mean, I think I can be a little vulgar and I'm not crazy about that part of it being blasted. But I'm just, you know, I speak a little freely sometimes. But as far as like the actual things, it's not a big deal, you know? Like we could talk about sex positions all day and it's like. Yeah, it's not a story that you like missionary. But that's what I'm saying.

And it's not even vulgar. No. If they take the actual conversation. and we're having a regular conversation and you say like, yeah, like missionary, love being manhandled, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, there was nothing vulgar about that. No, and also I tend to like, you know, put humor on things like, oh, we're fucking manhand. Like, it's just like, you know, an expression. I mean, I do like to be manhandled, but.

I died because someone thought you liked missionaries. Is there any interesting, is there an interesting conversation around the stigma, but also why? Well. Or why women, not you specifically? You know. Rob's like, do tell. Certain women like to be manhandled. Sure.

Other women want to be like the Dom, you know? And like, that's a preference, right? And I don't know the majority. I don't know the majority of people. You know, I don't know the statistic there, like percentages and preferences and whatever. I don't think there's been a proper study done. I feel like there should be maybe because I'm curious. But I think that

Olivia, maybe put out a poll this week for our Instagram. Yeah, we want to hear people. Do you want to be handled or do you want to be the handler? Yeah. Yes. I'm curious what the response is. And I don't know.

And I do think about it from like a psychological standpoint of like, why do I want to feel, you know, like that? Or I want to be, you know, manhandling. Oh, Jesus. I have a thought on why. Go for it. I think for women, it's a big fear of theirs. So when they can enact that in a controlled safe space with someone that it is safe,

that's why it's so heightened and it's fear fantasy of like, this is something that I'm terrified of and I'm confronting it and doing it in a way that I know is safe. Well, that's a theory. I think maybe for some people, that's not mine, but maybe it applies. I think it's more about it's like you want a man that's competent in a way. So it's more of like, I think it goes way back when it used to be like the hunters and gathers and you want to feel like your man can like hunt and gather and provide and do all of those things. So instinctually, there's this feeling of...

Survival of the fittest type? Yeah, like wanting to feel submissive and that this person is capable of taking care of you. Yeah. I think. Yeah, you know, because I would always be like, can you swing an axe? You know what I mean?

Like, I definitely have... No, but I mean, I'm just saying, like, that speaks to what Olivia's saying. First date, you take them axe throwing and... I would. She does. But, like, no, like, it's... It is. It speaks to that primal kind of instinct. And I definitely can be old-fashioned in some areas, like, for sure. And obviously, I am all about feminism and all of it and supporting women. And I love it. It's beautiful. But I also have that side of me that is a little old-fashioned. And I want, it's attractive to me when the man can, like, build the fucking fire and, like, you know, do all the things. And it is attractive to me. So I do think it speaks more to that.

Well, it's also hardwiring. You're not just deciding that that's what makes you. attract it. Correct. Correct. It is hard one. It's ancient, really. It's in your DNA. It's in my DNA. Well, I do think the DNA is changing now. And that's why the younger people are moving out of those kind of, you know, gender-specific roles is because the actual wiring is changing because we don't need that anymore. Right. But us old ladies, so have it in us. But I think there's also a conversation of is that actual hardwiring or just culturally what in a misogynistic patriarch what women have been conditioned to and what people think they should feel so rob here's a question because natalie's super you know like feminist and woke and all of those things like in the bedroom is she

more the handler or does she like to be handled you make me answer this you know my mom listens to this Oh, shit. Well, you want me to phrase it differently? Ear muffs. Okay. I'm curious. Okay. Ear muffs. Sorry. Okay, Jana, just low in volume. Fair with us. But you know what I mean? Because she is very much so. So I'm curious if that translates sexually as well. No, it doesn't. She likes to be manhandled as well. There you go. Okay. I think that's an interesting, you know.

Yeah, yeah. But, and it's, I think for her, it's more that it forces her to kind of take her mind off of things. And it's just Relinquish control. Purely passion at that point. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I don't think it's abnormal at all. No, at all.

And I don't think it's abnormal that certain men want to be manhandled too. Right. You know what I mean? It's just... Yes, there's certain men for sure. You know. Yeah. Well, we're not trying to shame anyone that does or does not.

No, isn't it? We're just trying to have a conversation about... It's just an open conversation. What's that rooted in? Anything is great. Whatever your preference is your preference. You know what I mean? Screwy. Yeah. We're not shaming anyone. Well, you're, you're getting constantly shamed. I am. Am I getting shamed? You're talking about purely your preference and what you like and getting just shamed for being open about it.

Yeah, I definitely feel like I want to have a bit of a filter, which sucks, you know, because that's not my personality. but like it's how it's spun. From feedback from people I know, like they love that you speak this candidly about it. And everyone is like, fuck yeah, Rachel's willing to go there and say that. Yeah, they're making a bigger deal than it is, is what it's happening.

Well, yes, they are. It's obviously when they like pick it up and it's, you know. But have you... It's not. What have you... I mean, I guess you stay in your house all the time and don't talk to people, so you wouldn't. But I'm wondering if you've gotten any positive feedback from it,

but you're a black hole of... I think anything that I have seen, like an article that was sent to me yesterday, and then they were like, yeah, fuck yeah, Rachel, like, totally. You know, and I haven't seen much, but what I have seen hasn't been negative. But I try not to look. I'm like, oh, God.

Well, and it also doesn't matter. It's the people that are around you that you care about. anyways and how they feel about it. That really matter. People are praising me for being sex positive. I'm like, am I being sex positive? Or am I just like talking about sex? Like, you know what I mean? That's what sex positive is.

Oh. It's not having the stigma on it and not having shame and just talking about it. Yeah, and just talking about it. I don't understand why everyone's okay showing it. Oh, no. Is that a bug? There's a bug up there. Oh, where's Jeff?

Oh, a little of you doesn't like bugs. Oh, no, what is that? What do I do? What kind of bug is it? What do I do? Do I call them? You're going to call someone? Wait, you're going to call someone to get a picture of it to show us, right? Let me see it and I might be able to identify it. Another hidden talent of mine.

Send it to Dominic Monaghan. That's what I was going to say. Send it to Dominic Monaghan. What do I do, guys? Do I call someone to get the bug out? You see if she was suggesting that, Rachel. No, you don't call someone to get the bug out. Well, then what do you do? What kind of bug is it? You have to zoom in on it.

I just sent it to you. It's those little... Oh, it's those little... I get those all the time. They're totally fine. Yeah, you just leave it. It's big, guys. It's not big.

It's not going to bite you. It's not going to do anything. It's not going to do anything. Just leave it. If you don't want it in your room, then catch it and take it out. I can't catch it. You go get a glass and put it over it and get a piece of paper and slide it on it. Yeah, do the old slideroo.

You know what? This is not. I think it's a stink beetle. That's what that... A stink beetle, that means it's going to smell bad? No. No, it's a forest bug. Not cute.

That's a stink bug. It's a stink bug? It's what they're called. They don't stink. They don't stink. They do nothing. I get them all the time and I just pick them. I pick them up with my hand and put them outside.

You're a creep. I am a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? Is it radio head of there? Yeah, very good Rob Very good Rob I'm having a panic attack

Don't have a panic attack I don't want that crawling on me when I sleep It's not gonna crawl on you It doesn't like you It wants to stay far from you Just take it out or go across the hall And be like yo Get this out of my room

To one of the dudes if you're too scared All right Well I'm not gonna be sleeping in here Until 7 in the morning tomorrow Yeah she's a night shoot thrown to the wolves. Thrown to the wolves. Proud of you.

Thank you, Rachel. I will say, though, that last article that I read, it's frustrating that it's still going around that I said I never had an orgasm. You know what's frustrating is that they said your podcast was wrong. Oh, yeah. It's frustrating. They said the wrong podcast. Yeah. I think it's easy for people to search and realize, oh, this isn't her podcast.

But you know what it is? Broad ideas. And thank you all. You lovely Bradians for sticking with us And listening to our shenanigan Yeah, despite all the filth that comes out of Rachel's mouth I mean, let's take another poll Do you want me to rein it in?

Or go further? Who, I mean, come on. I can answer. All right, we got to do these polls on your account, though. Mine? Yeah. Oh, I don't want to do my mind. The more people are going to answer it.

I don't want to do it on mine. She's shy. We don't know. I am. Ironically, I am kind of shy, which is so weird that all these, like, crazy, very candid comments come out of my mouth. I don't know what to tell you. You don't leave the house, I'm aware. I hide when there's a knock at the door.

Who doesn't? Okay, so you feel me. Oh, hell yeah. I'm not like, who is it? You know, I'm like, fuck, who is it? Who is it? Look out the window. Do you think we're weird, Olivia?

And, like, most people aren't like that. Because this was brought to my attention recently. Someone who, like, said when they first met me, they noticed that, like, there was a knock at the door. Okay? I was in my 20s when I met this person. There was a knock at my door. And my immediate reaction was like, oh, my God, who's at the door?

And, like, hide instead of, like, checking and being a normal person. No, I get scared every time there's a knock at the door. Rob? I don't get scared. I don't like it. when people come to my door unless I know they're coming to my door. Sure. So, but is your reaction like fear?

Like, I'm not going to answer that. It's not fear, but it is also I'm not going to answer that if it's not. Like, I don't know that I have a post base coming. We also have the little Google Ness thing so I can look on the camera and see who it is. I don't care, though. I'll still not open it. If they're like, we're here for da-da-da-da, I'm like, nope. No.

But a FedEx delivery that needs a signature? You'll open for that. Maybe if it's FedEx. I've missed many of FedEx. If it's FedEx. But like if it's anyone else with anything to say, I won't. I don't trust people. I know that I've watched too many shows to fall for that shit.

If it's a random person I don't know, I will not answer. If it's like a neighbor. I still won't answer. I'll answer if it's a neighbor and I know them. We had one neighbor that we were eating and she came and knocked. and our table is right by the door so I think she could hear us in there and we're in the leading

we're not going to answer the door and she just stayed there and kept knocking and Natalie just like yelled at her and was like yeah you can leave it we're eating right now oh Natalie I love it she's a boss did you take her out this week Rob

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we went to a concert last night oh she went with you to a concert Mm-hmm. What concert? We saw cursive play. That's nice. Last night, they played their album, Domestica, in its entirety.

Was it good? Yeah, it was fun. Did she have fun? Mm-hmm. And one of our, like, good old friends from Chicago ended up randomly being there. Aw. That's a good old friend. Good old friend from Chicago.

Cool. Oh, man. Guys, good session. Mm-hmm. Good sush. All right, well, tune in next week for more broad ideas. That was a hate gum podcast.