Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Alexandra Breckenridge on Pickling, Motherhood, and Virgin River

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Alexandra Breckenridge (Virgin River,  The Walking Dead) joins Rachel and Olivia to discuss the art of pickling,  raising kids and living in Georgia. Check out the latest season of Virgin River, now streaming on Netflix.Broad Ideas is sponsored by IQ Bar 20% of all IQ products, text IDEAS to 64000.Broad Ideas is sponsored by BetterHelp.  Visit BetterHelp.com/ideas to get 10% off your first month.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi guys. We just wanted to send a quick update and message thanking you all for all the outreach. Everyone who's written in wondering if we're okay, we are safe. Our families are safe. Obviously, this is a tremendously tragic event that's happened in Los Angeles and we are doing what we can to give back to our community and to hold space for anyone's suffering.

And we just wanted to let you know that all of these recordings were done before the fires. And we will be resuming really soon. And in the meantime, sending you all of our love and gratitude. Sometimes we'll just swirling inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about... Because people die.

Oh, it's very nice to meet you. You too. Happy Tuesday. Is Tuesday? Is it? I mean, are you in the middle of filming or are you not? No, I'm not in the middle of filming. I don't start until next year.

We're about to drop the sixth season on. Thursday. Oh, how excited. Six. Wow. Yeah. So it's like I'm in the middle of doing press for that which is bananas, I'm sure you know. All about that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. A little. But what what was I just going to ask? Oh, where do you shoot it? Is it Vancouver? Vancouver. Yeah. Have you been there? Okay. That's what I thought. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. I didn't appreciate it in the first season. Because we started in the middle of December and the dead of winter and it would like get me the hell out of here. But now it's stunning.

Nice. It's a really great place to film. It's so fun. It's funny because a lot of people, like I was on this show called Heart of Dixie and they, like I hear all the time, they're like, Virgin River was like our new heart of Dixie. We love it. I mean, obviously so many people love it. But it was just funny. Well, Tim was on your show.

I know. Tim Matheson. And was it not like on? Almost the same idea. Weren't you a doctor that came to? Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't see it. But you were like, yeah.

Yeah. You were a doctor that comes to a small town. Yep. Yes. So I think there was like a, what am I looking? Like a parallel. Yes. She's like, so I think it's the same show.

So I think it's just a hard to agree with a different name. It's a same. It's a very different, though. And that was on. And how many seasons did you do of that? It's a great question. Three, maybe? Four.

Four? Four? I got pregnant and then it stopped. Okay. That sounds weird. Yeah. It's stupid. They were like, hmm.

Well, we can't do this anymore. Never mind. But you were on like network TV. So you're doing maybe many more episodes. Yeah. Right. That's right. Because streaming you're like what?

What are you at? We're at 10. now. We did a couple seasons of 12, but that's the difference, I think, when everybody thinks of these long-running series that are on streaming, you're just like, wow, how many seasons. But for actors that have worked in network, it seems like such a big thing, but actually, it's not because it's way less, it's way fewer episodes. Right. Which is kind of great.

But there's no syndication and residuals. Oh, well, there it is. And you have kids, right? Yes, yes. I have two kids. I have a boy and a girl. My daughter just turned seven. And my son is eight.

They're 15 months apart. What? That's crazy. It was bananas, banana of ramikins. I remember the moment, the first moment, we had both of them needing diaper changes. And they were both screaming. And my husband and I were changing their diapers. And I just started laughing.

I was just like, oh, look. Like, what's happening right now? Oh, my God. So it's crazy. So I remember you. We actually worked together. Stop. Back in the day.

Just one thing. What was it called? You always get it wrong. I always get it wrong. It was the Romeo and Michelle movie. Yeah. Oh, my God. I was like the mean girl that's like, do we look?

Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. I'm trying to go back there and your face is now becoming very familiar. Yeah. That was so long ago. It was so long ago. But then you were around the same like hemisphere as me and you would, we would always say hi.

And you were always, I was telling Rachel because not everybody's like that. And I remember I did, it was a small part. I was like, are we getting ready or doing a Madonna video or graduating or something like, I was like a mean girl in the movie. Like you guys were graduating and I make fun of you. Oh my God. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So you were in the high school part portion.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, yes. Yes, I remember. And you were so sweet. Oh, not everybody else was sweet, but you were. And that stood out to me always. That's what she said before we got on. She's like, you know, she was.

so sweet and every time I would see her she would still be so sweet and everything and she was like yeah which goes so far in this world and in any world yeah you would always come up and say hi to me like you remembered and I was like I until now apparently oh geez well you listen we're on we have mom brains we have mom brain we have mom brain we've had to if you saw me at la pu bell or something right now you'd yes I'd be like wait wait wait we we we're together wait what was that thing Oh, yeah. You'd be like, I know you. Yeah, exactly.

That's so cute. It is. It is cute. Oh, my gosh. That was a million years ago with Catherine Hegel and we, yeah. I'm trying to remember what location we might have worked on. Anyways, it doesn't matter.

That was such a weird, such a weird but fun TV movie. Yeah. I feel you should dig it up and watch it. It's a little awkward. I don't know. I don't know if you want to watch it. Paula Abdul is in it. Is she? I don't know if I ever watched it.

Paula Abdul? What? What is she doing? She has a cameo. Okay. She has a cameo at the end of it and we like dance with her. We do that Romeo and Michelle dance. It was very strange. Wait, but you dance with Paula Abdul. I feel like that's actually a big deal. It is a big deal. I don't know. She was my first, not my first concert, but I did go to forever, my girl, forever your girl, forever.

Oh, Jesus. This is mom brain. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I did go to that concert. Yeah. I mean, she's iconic. I adored her.

I loved her. I danced to her music in the 90. Early. Yes. Yesterday while I was planning my room. Um, anyways, yeah. How fun. How fun.

What a weird memory. Yeah. She just took you back. I just took you back. I want to, I really did. I need to go back to like this whole 15 months apart thing. Like, was that intentional? Mm-mm.

Can't be. No, no. I don't know. Some people are like, you know, knock this out. Yeah. She's like, it can't be. That's just not a thing that we do. No, no.

I, I didn't. No, no, no. After I had my son. Jack, I was sort of like, I was like, whoa, this, this baby business is, I can't. This is hard. This is really, really difficult. And he was a very fussy baby, very, very, very, very fussy. Very hard to put to sleep.

Like, you know how, you know those yoga balls? You'd have to like bounce. Yeah. Bounce the baby. Swaddle the baby really tight. Bounce the baby. You're like, am I shaking the baby? Is the baby going to be okay?

The doctors and the pediatricians are like, no, no, it's fine. Harder, faster. Yeah. You get your workout in, I guess, try to repair the core muscles that you broke apart having them. And yeah, and then by like six months down the road, you know, I was trying to, you know, do the like re-repair with my husband of, oh, we're still in a relationship. And what was that again? because you forget when you have kids. It's like it all, it's all like on all hands on deck.

Yep. Baby times. And so I was like, all right, I'm going to be, you know, and I put on a little outfit. Like, we're going to get our romance back again. And, you know, a few months later, I was sick. And I was actually, I was pickling. I was like having my friends come over to make pickles, you know. You were pickling.

That's the cutest one. How how heck was that? Pickling. Oh, literally. Yeah. That's so fun. I'm so into it.

I love this. Like vegetables and like, yeah, like green beans, carrots, whatever. Were you pickling all of these vegetables? Yeah, so we got all the vegetables out. We were pickling everything. So, you know, you make like a batch of pickling juice and wine and you get the cans out. And you can them. And a friend of mine who is Korean was making kimchi.

And she got the fish soft out. Oh, no. And I was like, I was like, no, no, no, I can't. The fish sauce. So I started drinking Coca-Cola because I thought, oh, maybe I'm sick. I don't know what's going on. Later that night I was sick.

And then my friends kept telling me I was pregnant and I was in complete denial until I took several tests. And yeah. There. So, whoops. But I cannot tell you, I mean, I may not have had another child had that not happened. and I am so grateful that that's how she came into this world because I mean, I know people say they're obsessed with their children, but I adore my daughter, Billy, like, to the ends of the earth and back. Oh, Billy. So cute.

Billy. I love her. I love that name. Yeah. That's so cute. I love it. Is it short for anything or is it just Billy? No, just Billy.

I, we were trying to come up for something. I don't know what it would be short for. Billy Rubin Bill of Fred I was like Lucy Lucille Lucille Ball that might be fun you know

and then I have this picture of Billy Holiday and I just always love that name for a girl so so cute I two things I want to talk about or say and ask

one I'm going back to pickling I have done quick pickling You have? Oh, yeah. You're a quick pickler. I'm a quick pickler. And, you know, it works, but I want to know your formula or recipe, do you have a go-to? These are the things I care about. I mean, you know, I think it's really simple. You just, you got some peppercorns. You need a bay leaf. You need vinegar or sugar. There's so many different things you could put in their juniper berries are fun. It just depends on the flavor you want. Like during an interview? No. Impressed for your show. I'm like, nobody cares that I pickle.

People are like, oh, you pickle, that's a weird thing to do. Okay, anyways, moving on. I care so deeply about it. So you quick pickle, what do you quick pickle when you do that? I mean, like just traditional,

like I did with cucumbers to make pickles because my daughter loves pickles, so I did a quick pickling. How is that, like, at time, it's like quick? Well, I mean, pickling, you like can them. And leave them, right?

Yeah. So what's a quick pickle? It'll just pickle. fast, like, it'll taste like a pickle. Like, what's fast? Yeah. I mean, like, overnight the next day. Yeah, you can pickle something in like 20 minutes, 10, 20 minutes.

If you cut up a little, like, one of those tiny cucumbers, what are they called baby cucumbers? I don't know. Persian cucumbers? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And you just slice them however you want them and put them with some apple cider vinegar and even some salt.

You don't even have to put sugar in there and pop it in the fridge. It'll pickle. right on us. Are you into cooking? Are you just into... This is going to be something weird that I remember. And maybe I'm wrong. But I feel like I distinctly remember I was in the makeup trailer

and you were talking about at the time, you had a bunch of bobbleheads in your car. Oh, baby heads? Oh, God. I was such a weirdo. Yes. Oh, my God. Your memory is amazing.

Because it stood out that you were very different than other actors I had come across. You were talking. I was like, oh, she's quirky. Go ahead. That's a great way to put it. Yep, I look a little weird. That was my goth phase. So I was like deep into my goth phase.

I was very nine-inch nails. I had taken part videotape cassette and like stuffed it in the, you know, between the dash and this is so I can't believe I'm talking about this. I was trying to the mirror and I went to what was that store Wackos on sunset

where they had all that weird stuff and they just had like a bag they might have changed the name yeah but yes with Wackos and it's close to like the like the Goodwill it's like right next door to the Goodwill off of sunset

when you go into Silver Lake Anyways, they had a bag of baby doll heads. And because I was in a goff face, I took the baby. They stuffed them into the thing. I don't know why. I can't give me like a great reason for why I did that other than I was just, I liked nine-inch nails and Marilyn Manson and I was strange. I'm an artsy strange person.

I don't currently have that in my. car though. What if you did? Yeah, but when you said I pickle, it speaks to the same place. Does it? Yeah. And I'm like, please elaborate. It's like it's quirky, unique things that have nothing to do with acting or what you do.

Or it's just like it's like that same type of brain that's creative and wants to do projecty type things. Yeah. But it's just, I mean, a lot of people pickle that don't have baby doll hair. stuffed into their dashboards, you know, like I was... I don't believe you. Yeah, I know. I don't believe you. I was also at the time delivering chicken wings for big wangs wings.

I don't know if you remember that. Big wing. Of course. Big wings. Yeah. Oh, yeah. With your dead baby dollheads. And you were delivering chicken wings.

Yeah. Yes. In my VW cabri-LA and I was stick shift, mind you, delivering off of... That was when they were like in a little hole in the wall of sunset Boulevard. And then I think I had got, I had, I got this part in Romie Michelle sometime around when I was delivering chicken. And it's so good. So therefore I didn't have to deliver chicken anymore. Oh, my God.

Does this person still live inside of you? Absolutely. Absolutely. I can crush some driving skills. I have some amazing driving skills in Los Angeles. I can get around traffic like nobody's business. Yeah. Well, yeah, a stick shift and all the hills and whatnot. And Los Angeles alone, I feel like you crushed it. Yeah, but also it speaks to the part like you weren't typical or normal in a good way. She just keeps wanting to like hit on that. Because I think it's still there. And then you're on to show like Virgin River that kind of... Which is so normal. Yes. It's so weird for me.

It feels like the wrong place for me to be, but yet it's exactly the right place that I need to be. Weirdly. Like I didn't know that I was going to end up there. You know, I was definitely on a trajectory of at that time doing sort of like American Horror Story Walking Dead, True Blood type work. and I didn't really see myself in this very, I don't know, very vanilla sort of show. If you will, I think there's a lot of layers to it. I mean, we could go on about the layers of the show. It touches on a lot of different things.

But for me, I was actually like totally broke with two kids at the time. And they came to me with this part. And I was just like, yep, let's go to Vancouver and do Virgin River. Wow. And how is it now living into that? You know, I always loved doing like psychological thrillers and this and that and dark stuff. But then when I had kids, all of that definitely shifted for me. and I couldn't even watch half the things that I used to be able to watch, you know, especially, like, if you're nursing or pumping, like, I remember at one point, I had to, I went back and started watching Gilmore Girls, which I had never seen because I was like, I need something very mild to be able to, like, let down and.

Yeah. So when I got this job and my daughter was one years old, she turned one when we got out there. And it dealt with my character's journey dealt with so much of my own sort of personal losses that I had had and dealt with. So it was very easy for me to slip into, but it was also very painful. And I think it was probably the best therapy that I could have received without realizing it at the time. You know, it's like I went down this road that I wasn't prepared for. and then to look back at it and like, well, thank God for that. Yeah.

Thank God for that in so many different ways that I didn't realize at the time. Hmm. And now I'm here and it's like doing really well, which is weird. That's amazing. This episode is brought to you by IQR, our exclusive snack sponsor. All right, so I like to start my mornings really early going to the gym, and the way I do this is I begin my day with IQ Joe. Jitter-free coffee.

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Welcome to 2025. What do you want your story to be? That's the question I ask every January. I love looking at the 365 days of blank pages and really deciding, what kind of story do I want to tell? What do I want to live into this year? And that's exactly the way I think of therapy is like an editorial partner to help write new chapters and create meaningful stories that you deserve to live. This is exactly what I've experienced through being in therapy over the last 10 years is really

having someone help me rewrite my story in a way that I want to live into. So do yourself a favor, look into BetterHelp. It is fully online. They're making therapy affordable and convenience serving over 5 million people worldwide. I love it. And it's easy to switch therapists too at any time with no extra costs. So write your story with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash ideas to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash ideas. Let's make it a good year. Well, I think the reason it does so well, it's the same thing as Harda Dixie.

Obviously, the shows are very different, but when you watch it, you just feel like everything's going to be okay. Yeah. You get that sense of like life is okay, even in the way it looks. looks down to the characters and the way it feels. It gives you that sense of safety. So even if you guys are going through things that are emotional, it's like we're kind of as the audience, we still feel like it's all going to work out. And I think that everybody craves that. I know I do, especially being a mom. Yes. Like what you said, it's like you just want to feel like everything's all right in the

world, which is what Gilmore Girls does, part of Dixie, Virgin River. I binged it. Right away. Yeah. Oh, when it came out. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I love it. Oh, thanks. Great.

You're welcome. Wonderful. I, good. I, yeah, no. I mean, I, it was, it was great because I actually thought nobody was going to watch it at the time when I did it. So I, I was like, I'm just going to pour my actual gutteral self into this part and see how that feels as an actress because I don't often get to do that. just like, I'm just going to be like really, like, sort of just like, just let it all come out of me onto the screen. And so, yeah, it was really cathartic. But I think to your point about those

types of shows is the support of the characters, the support that the characters give each other, it's the community and that like they, everybody feels like they have someone to fall back on and you can really see that through their friendships and the family that they build and create for each other. That's something I've always said about the show that people come back to because not everybody has those communities. You know, like I know, I remember when I was living in the city, I didn't feel, I mean, you create your friends and they become your family

if you're lucky or if you're open to it. And if you're here for it, but some people can go really insular in those environments and be scared to reach out or be scared to, you know, create a community for themselves. But I actually live in a place that's very much like Virgin River, but totally not. Really? I wish it was in California. Unfortunately, yeah. Oh. I'm, I, that would be nice.

But I live like in the deep woods in Georgia and... Really? That's so cool. I'm so envious. The pickling and the deep woods. Yeah, what brought you out there? I was working on the Walking Dead and I was just about to get married. My husband and I got married 2015 and really sort of before that we'd lived up Bronson Canyon right at the street from La Poubel and...

Yeah. Yeah, the Franklin Strip and all of that. And I love the place that we lived, but it was so expensive. And I, and, you know, I mean, I'm so thankful for the work on Walking Dead and that that community that they have was beautiful. But I got paid really $0. So I knew that when I came back to L.A., I was going to live in an apartment being married and then want to start a family.

And I thought, gosh, that sounds depressing. I don't want to do that. Right. And so we just started thinking and talking about like, we don't. have to be in the city to continue to do our jobs. So let's live our lives in the way that we want to live our lives, not just for work, like be in a place that we want to live in. And so we found this really lovely area in Georgia. I never thought I would move to Georgia. Like, that's bananas to me. But here I am in the woods. Still pickling sometimes. Still cooking. But, but. But,

But, yeah, it's so nice. And the kids, I'm so happy that I made that choice for them. And it was definitely for me, but it was also a lot for them because I grew up in Derryan, Connecticut, till I was 11 and I moved to California. And I rode my bike everywhere. Right. And so hopefully when they learned to ride bikes, they're still not riding bikes, which is kind of ironic. but what I feel like my daughter was seven maybe or eight when she learned so you're yeah you know you're in the wheelhouse yeah you're in the right okay you're in our zone yeah okay so it's all right

okay you're great yeah forgive yourself I was like I was like five or I would think it was like six or seven and I went into my neighbor's shed and found a screwdriver to take the the training wheels off my bike because like no one was around to do it for me and then I I was riding a bike. See, that's what you don't get on an iPad. Exactly. You don't get that on iPads. No.

She had to take her sons away recently. Yeah, but like I love to hear that. Like a kid just going in the garage, figuring it out. Figuring it out. So do you have our generation? You know what I mean? Right, right, right. It was completely different.

I mean, my son did try to start a fire in the fireplace the other day, which was terrifying, but... Oh, yeah. You're like, not that. Yeah, please don't do that. Not that. Have you built community there? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I mean, we moved here and we didn't know anybody. We were just like... Yeah. Yeah, because you could get... I mean, we had a five-bedroom house here. It was huge. It was like 4,000 square feet for the price of a postage stamp. in Los Angeles.

So, you know, and now we live on five acres and we're building a big garden and we've got the chickens and, you know, dog, cats, the whole thing. Yeah. The whole, that sort of lifestyle that I think a lot of people, it's very, like, hip on the internet now, I feel like everybody's sort of like, I'm going to go and I'm going to build a farmhouse and I'm just going to garden and live off the land. And in actuality, I say that, though. Kind of hard.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure, for sure. But I want to know, like, so when you go to Vancouver, do the kids stay and stay home? This is the big turmoil for me every single season. So in the beginning, they were so young, it was easy. Yeah. Right. They weren't in school.

They'd come. You know, my husband's musician, he used to tour with Katie Perry. And then when I got pregnant with my daughter, he would have gone on tours. Like, she was just about to start. a tour and he wouldn't have gone. Who knows if he would have made it home for the birth even. So he quit the show and came. And then luckily I got a job and we went to Vancouver.

And so we did that for a few years, but now they're in school. And I just honestly, like people ask, how do you balance work? And I'm like, I don't know. Could you tell me? Could somebody explain this to me? Because I don't know how to do it. Yeah. And I feel like it's like spinning plates.

And you have to sort of figure out what plate is almost about to fall off and then try to catch it. And that might be you. That might be one of your kids. That might be your relationship. Like that might be your work. And I've got so many plates that, you know. So I was just actually talking about this with my friend, who's a makeup artist out here. and we were just like, how do we navigate this now?

You know, like, how do you navigate the time that you spend with your family? Because to pull focus from work, especially with my workload when I go out there, like last season, I worked so much for that last half because, you know, there's a big wedding. Obviously, that happens. The poster is obviously. Obviously. You know, we're a wedding and time. So it was like, you know, it was a lot of heavy lifting on my part. And I didn't, I did not see my kids for two months. And it almost killed you. It almost killed my heart. Like when I came home to see them, the adjustment period was so hard. I was both of the, I had both of them on each side and I was just like, we're never doing this again. And my daughter and my son were just like never ever. And so you just have to figure it out, you know.

Yeah, I know. I feel that so, when you just said that, like, my heart, I mean, it's the hardest thing. It's the, you know, and it's hard to talk about because, like, unless you're in it, it's hard to fully understand, you know, but. It's like your heart is living outside of your body. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. And, like, once they're in school, it's just, it's just a whole other thing. Taking them out of school to visit. And, yeah. So I'm trying to, I'm currently trying to, I'm currently trying to, to figure out how we're going to do that this upcoming season so that we all don't, you know. Is it like a three month? It's like a three month period or five months?

What's your? It's four. A four. It's four. But I'm actually going out in February to do another movie for Netflix, which I was like, oh, this might be insane. I don't know what I'm doing to myself. But I'm so grateful to have the work because I know that there's not a lot of work right now.

And so I just, the opportunity came up and I was like, absolutely, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to make it work no matter what because I'm just so grateful to be in the position that I'm in right now. And I know that it's leading in our business. So it's. Yeah. Yeah. I know. And it's like you have to just think about that stuff because it is hard, like as a mom to just. Would you move them to Vancouver if the show goes on for the rest of your life?

It's a really great place. It's really beautiful, especially July till October. Yeah, it's the only time, yes. It's gorgeous. Yeah, no, no. It's, I would not want to winter there, as they, as the fancy people say. You know, but it's, I don't know. I don't think so.

Yeah. The community here is so lovely. and the relationships that we've felt with our friends. And, I mean, it's just, it's not normal and it's really wonderful. Wow. So I just wouldn't give that up. Like, it's just not something. And it's hard to be pulled away from it every year.

But I'm just always filled with gratitude for what I do. And also, like, the show is, you know, people, fans get so much out of the show. and like that's just something that, you know, you stumble upon or you don't. Yeah. You know? Right. Yeah, I know. It is a lot of gratitude because it doesn't come along.

There's always a trade. Mm-hmm. No matter what it is, you're trading something. Mm-hmm. It doesn't like that. Yes. It's, I don't like it either. I don't think any of us do.

But, like, if you think of everybody's law in life, everybody's position, no matter what it is that they're achieving or not achieving, it's based on a trade and something that they're choosing into and choosing to either maneuver or let go of or shape shift. But it's never like, here's all of it. Yeah. I mean, right? Here's a perfectly balanced world for you. It's all for you. Yeah, but you wouldn't, but that's how it has to be because you wouldn't be able to understand or really appreciate the wonderful moments if you didn't have the bad moments.

I mean, it's always like that, right? Always. And that's why it is a roller coaster. And you're lucky if you can pick up on the, what does my friend call it? Oh, my God. What does she say? Shoot. Where is it be when I need her?

High concept nuance. That's what she calls it. I like that. Yeah, me too. You know what's weird is I'm going to point this shirt out to you. And then we're going to ask Nadine and Dustin. I just talked about wearing a white baseball shirt with... Like a poof?

No, with the pink sleeves. Not a poof, but you know what I'm talking about. No, but we had a whole conversation about that shirt yesterday. Really? Yeah. That's really weird. Because I went to Casabega once and I was wearing that shirt. And I walked up past the hose.

and Brad Pitt was there with Jennifer Aniston and she was wearing that shirt and he looked at me and said nice shirt. Red and hit did? Yeah, so then this morning, looking at you, I was like, interesting. What did you do? Throw up her turn red or what did you say to him?

I slept with him. She sat on his laugh. What would you do? Yeah. I lost my mind. Yeah. I love that. But that's so funny.

Oh, my God. That is so weird. I know. This is Veronica Beard, and I, and I, and I, yesterday or the day before was like, I should get some more colors in that shirt. Like, this is a good one. I was going to, now I'm going to get it. They have it in like a gray, you know. Gray would be cute.

I liked a little detail on the sleeve. Yeah, me too. I worn it many times. Well, I was just going to ask, I was just going to ask you both how many children you have and how old they are because I didn't do like the light Google search because I didn't want to, I was like, I would rather just. I'm the same way. Like I like to learn as I go. But I have a daughter who is 10. And I have two boys that are nine and five.

Nine and five. You got you. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So my son is eight. And I'm not, you guys are closer to like tween age than I am. I'm not prepared for any of it. I'm not. My daughter isn't either, though. She is the most innocent, young 10-year-old you've ever met. Like, she is not down for any of the tween stuff. She's like, Mom, my friends are wearing makeup to the holiday concert, but I don't want to do that.

And I was like, then don't do it. No, she's like not into it at all. Oh, I love that. My daughter used to be into girly stuff. And then the other day, she's like, I don't like dresses anymore. I don't want. I don't want necklaces or anything. I'm like, wait, what happened?

You don't want all of these dresses that you have in your closet? Right. I know. Yeah, it's interesting. The little individual people's. Elliot's closer to tween than Breyer's. Yes, her nine-year-old. He is about it.

Now, let me ask you in Georgia, is it all about Sigma and Riz and all of that, or is it like an L.A. thing, the language. The what now? Yep. With a little anything. Really? Yeah. What is this?

Sigma. Is this a slang? Yeah. It's like all the kids have a slang. Like if you're Sigma, like you're the top, you know, best, whatever. The only thing my son says is suss. Suss. I mean, that's part of it.

That comes first. That comes first. Oh, maybe he's on the brink of being exposed to. That's a gateway link. That's a gateway flag. Yeah, exactly. So my son actually goes to a one room schoolhouse. It basically looks like it was out of Little House on the Prairie or something with a teacher who I'm, she may or may not make her own clothes.

I'm not sure. But there's like taxidermy on the wall. Oh, my God. You're really in the woods. Like you're in the. We're in the deep woods. But my daughter goes to a more, I don't know, more traditional school. Like it's an actual school.

Oh, why are the choice to have them go separately? He was not happy there. Oh, he was not happy there. He's always been very emotional. Like he has a lot of big emotions and that's been kind of, well, kind of not. It is very difficult for me personally because I'm a person who has big emotion. And so when those big emotions come out and they come out at me, I get to. very hurt and I anyways he's he just wasn't it he would come home sad he was he was not well

adjusted there and our neighbors who live a stones throw away through the woods over there um their kids were going to this school and they said well maybe he would do well over there so we brought him over and he's like the happiest they come home with the cutest little arts and crafts like they make, I don't even know. I don't even know where to start with arts and crafts. But he's actually learning. Like he's reading books. He's very happy to go to school. He's well adjusted. So that's great. It was the right thing to do. But it really is individual, you know, for each child, like how they learn, how they, you know, it's so different. Yeah. I know growing up like our generation, you just went to your local school and it wasn't really as focused on like,

what the actual right thing is fit for the kid yeah yeah yeah it was like you this is the mold you fit in there or you don't yeah you find a place to fit in there or you don't and that was yeah i mean i always went to public school and same yeah and it did it did me dirty i didn't do well in the yeah wait where did you both grow up did you both grow up in LA yeah yeah yeah Yes. Yeah, we sure did. What part of Connecticut did you say again that you grew up in? Dary Ann, because of the public school was supposed to be the best.

My mom was 19 when she had me, so it was very... Oh, wow. Yeah, so she was like putting herself through college while holding a job and, you know, raising me. And my parents had never been together. They just like met one night at a bar. Hey now. Hey now. Oh, way.

Yeah. Wow. And then my mom did, she wanted to keep me. And, and yeah, so it was always the, she would always move us to the best public school, like wherever we lived in Derry and Connecticut until I was 11. And then, and then she'd be like, we're going to move to California or Australia. What do you think? I like that she's crowdsourcing it to you. Yeah, because, well, she thought I had asthma still at the time, which I actually didn't.

I was just faking it to get out of going to school. I did have asthma, but then it stopped at a certain age. It was like childhood asthma. But anyway, she's like, we need to move to a drier climate. So, you know. And I said, well, California seems cool. And I was obsessed with movies and definitely, like, had this idea that I wanted to be an actress, but didn't know what that meant or what it entailed or anything.

And so when we moved to California, I went to, um, uh, oh, is it called? It's not Montessori. It's the other one. Waldorf. I went to a Waldorf. Yeah. Where in California? We, Los Angeles.

Like, we moved to, I lived in L.A. Yeah. L.A. for a year. And then we moved up to Mill Valley. Where is Mill Valley? It's just north of San Francisco. It's like, I want to say. It's like 30, 40 minutes north.

It's gorgeous. I loved it. We almost moved back there when my husband and I were trying to figure out where to live. It wasn't L.A. We were like, oh, Northern California, obviously. But it's hard to find. Georgia. Yeah, Georgia.

We couldn't afford it. Like, you can't, you know. It's just a different, maybe someday. Your mom was so young. She must be so. out of you. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

Well, she passed away in 2010. Oh, my God. Yeah, I know. I'm so sorry. I know. I know. It was very sad. Yeah, it's tragic.

My kids don't even like, they know they're, at least they have grandparents on my husband's side. And so it's, you know, I actually have to remind them that my mother would have been their grandmother if they just don't have any reality with it. Wow. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. She was so young. She was so young.

I think she was 47. Oh, God. Yeah, and I'm 42 now. Isn't that wild when you get to the age? I see that oftentimes where I'm like, oh, that person's outlived the age their parent was. And it's just nuts. Yeah. Yeah, I just watched the Christopher Reed documentary like yesterday.

I did this press tour in the morning and then I decided to put that on. It was like, uplifting. Decompressed. Yeah, I was like, I was a shell of a person afterwards because I don't do interviews or it's like just a lot for me to do like. Yeah. Yeah. Bam, bam, bam, bam. And then I curled up on this couch over here and I was like, well, and squash this.

I was like, oh, guys. Oh, my God. Because he, I mean, he did so much work when he became disabled and his wife was so sweet and caring. and then he passed and she passed right after him. And it's just like the saddest story. Yeah. But their children do so much work for disabled people. And so it's, I mean, it is light at the end of the tunnel.

It's beautiful in its own way. But yeah. Was your mom near you then? No. No, it didn't take a dive. Was she near you? Like in proximity? In proximity.

Well, yes. We, I couldn't speak to her for the last five years before she passed away. She was not well. She had some mental health and addiction issues. And, you know, a lot of people that I say that to don't really understand. I'm like. It's very, really? Yeah.

Oh, gosh. Yeah. Both sides of my family, every single person. Except for like two cousins. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. When you deal with it and you're, you know, you're trying to help and then you realize that you can't because there's a wall that you can't quite pass.

And then you just realize that you're sort of poisoning yourself by staying. and trying to help. And it's so detrimental for you to stay there that you have to let go and say, this is now your journey. And I love you. And I respect you for who you are inside, but I know that whatever is going on for you isn't something that I can fix now. Like I can't.

And yeah, so I had to, I had to just. And I knew, you know, I, I, of course. knew that that was where she was headed and it was really sad. I have yet to read that book that that girl wrote about her mother. Oh, yeah. Which one? Thank God, like my mom's dead or something. I'm happy my mom died or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's her name? I'm blanking. The girl from? Yeah. Yes. Cat and Jack or whatever?

I don't know. I don't know. Yes. Okay. I'm curious. to read that book because I'm just wondering if there's any parallels for me or like any sort of, you know, words of wisdom or, you know, epistening is an understanding in that journey of my life. But I've done a lot of work around that and my relationship with my mother.

And it's been, you know, many, many years, obviously. And I think that the place that I'm in now is just so, it's so good and so healthy because I can recognize her. for who she was as her own human. Yeah. And let go of any feelings of resentment for what she wasn't able to do for me as a mother. Right. You know, and it's still sad that I didn't get to have her in the way that I should have. But I have a relationship with my daughter that is so strong and so beautiful.

and like it just I I'm scared for when she becomes a teenager because right now it's it's this it's just like the sweetest moment you know yeah I'm like we're friends yeah we're besties yeah but I'm still your mom right you get to break that lineage and I remember once an acting teacher told me my mom was really sick she's she's sober now but she was really sick with alcoholism And he goes to me, can I talk to you? And I said, yeah, he's like, how's your mom? And I was like, not good. And he goes, it's a family disease.

And I was like, no, I get it, you know. And since then I'm sober, but he was like, it's a family disease. And I was like, I understand that. And he's like, her drinking will kill you. And I was like, what? And he was like, her drinking will kill you. You have to find independence. And I remember that shifted.

Wow. And then your mom had me going to cemetery. Her mom would send me to a cemetery to mourn my mom while she was still alive. Whoa. Wait, why? Because the- Rachel's like, what? I know.

Because the version of her, right, that was whole and complete wasn't there. That was gone. And so she was like, you have to get on with your life. Yeah. And you have to heal and you have to face the fact that the mom you crave isn't available. Yep. And so I'd go to Forest Lawn. My gosh.

And who's grave would you visit? Anyone's. But it is that thing of like what you were talking about. you can appreciate the person and not the disease anymore. Yeah. And I understand where it all came from. You know, I mean,

if you go back in time and you look at the, you know, her parents and where her parents came from, I mean, it's all just, it trickles down. It is generational. And,

you know, she was, was not loved in the way that she needed to be loved as a child. And all of that, accumulated and she just she she she couldn't anymore and I I I get it like I I get it um and and I found I found it very interesting and it was something that I wasn't really expecting when I had children that there were like bits of bits of me that would come out that were sort of mirroring my parents and mirroring the way that my parents were when I was younger and I was like oh my God

And just like, I was like, this is not me. And this isn't who I am and this isn't how I want to move forward in my life and with my children. And so it took me a bit. And I had to sort of like pass my kids when they would get really upset because I would get, the turmoil would start to bubble in me. So I would, I'd pass them off to my husband. He was like, you know, really stable and sturdy. And I'd be like, hey, I can't. I can't do this right now.

I have to like breathe so that I don't continue that behavior towards them. And luckily, I don't know. I can't tell you like analytically exactly how I've made it to the place that I am now. You know, it might have been a couple mushrooms I took in Vancouver. I don't know. They're totally legal there. But, you know, it's been a journey of just like really understanding and trying to be self-aware. Yeah.

And aware of, yeah, the family history and all of that to become a stable parent for my children. Right. Which is like the utmost important thing to do, you know, in my life. Did you have a relationship with your dad growing up? Yeah, I have a relationship with him. I just still, yeah. I still do. And we're close on.

to a certain degree. It's just not, you know, the closeness that I had with my mother when I was little was, I don't know, it was just different, you know. And I find that with my kids, they have a different closeness with me than they do with their father. Doesn't mean that it's less or more or whatever. It's just a different. mothers are different it is yeah yeah it is and especially when you're a child that's so close in age to a mom that struggles with anything it's like you become a mom really young so you probably have been mothering a lot longer than you've had children well i you know what i did i didn't i

didn't because I became when I was a teenager and I was dealing with this with her, I became very resentful very early on with the way that she was behaving and talking to me and, you know, I was just, I had no patience for it and my tolerance for it was very low. But, you know, I actually ran away to Colorado when I was 16 on a Greyhound bus, even because I was. I was just like, I'm not doing this anymore. Yeah. This is explaining those baby heads. Now we get to why the baby heads were cut off and put in the car.

And that was before. So I had run away before that film and when I had met you. And I came back. I almost went to live with my dad. And then I thought, I'm going to be slinging burgers at Burger King in Connecticut if I don't go back to California and continue acting because that's what I love to do. And I would rather do that and deal with, you know, an alcoholic parent than lose my opportunity at having the career that I want.

Yeah. Wow. I think I made the right decision. And I'm so happy you landed at Virgin River. It's like you deserve that, you deserve that like slice. of wholesomeness that you didn't get, you know? No, no. That's really sweet.

Well, now I feel like I'm living in such a, I don't know, it's weird to me every day. You know, this like functional family. Yeah. It's strange sometimes because I'm just like, I don't even know. I never knew what that was. I didn't really see it. So sometimes I forget myself and I don't know how to do it. But I remember that I'm an adult and that, you know, I'm capable and everything's fine.

And nobody really knows that a parent. So, you know. No, we just have to do our best. And there's always someone who might know something we don't. Yes. And that's the part that I think is being an adult is being like, I don't know how to do this. Can you help? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. versus a teenager that's like, I got this, you know? Yes, yes. Yeah, I mean, I find that also like making friends with your younger self, there is really something to that when you get older and really understanding that that little girl that got left on the doorstep at one point

or like had to make herself dinner at some point and was forgotten about, like, you have to make friends with her. and now be like make her okay for you to continue to be okay as an adult I think that's the most important piece yeah I know but it is no it is it is that yeah I'm obsessed with the inner child's work I think it's the biggest game changer there is of really going back to that place and then showing up as the person you needed at that time Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like we really got to a good place. Yeah. I feel good. I feel like therapy. Sorry. I didn't. No, it was. It's my, well, it's my fault. She goes to the pickling and I go to like, where's your like in her child work? Pain. I can't help my soul. She's like some, how do we pickle? What do we pickle next? Yeah. What's your best holiday cookie recipe?

Don't get me started. And then I'm like, what hurts? What hurts? Why does that hurt when you make cookies? Go back to the baby heads. Why do you need dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate? What is that about for you? I would always choose milk chocolate, by the way.

Oh, really? Are you milk chocolate? I'm a dark chocolate. I'm dark. I mean, look, I can go milk, but I prefer dark. I don't understand it. I know. My husband's the same.

He likes milk chocolate. But it doesn't matter because I'm the one that makes the cookies. So they go dark. Yeah, it was so nice talking to you. Thank you so much. And so nice to meet you. It's lovely to meet you and to meet you. Yes.

After years and years and years. Oh, my gosh. lifetime. It is a different lifetime. But yeah, I'm envious of your land and your life and all of it. It's a crazy

time. It's a crazy time here. But I'm happy to be in the woods and I'm really excited about this garden, man. I'm going to put it on my Instagram if it ever gets done. They're like irrigating right now. That is so exciting. That's exciting. I get that. I'm going to have 12 beds.

Oh, that's so good. See, for me, pickling 12 garden bed. No, but it doesn't matter. You're going to have it. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. I have compost going.

Oh, my God, see? You're already there. I think we need to get out of L.A. I know. I say that every day. I kind of, I do. I know. Can you?

Can you leave L.A.? I mean, no, I have the same thing. Like, my kid is so settled in her school and her light, you know. It's like, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see where the wind takes us. Yeah. It gets, it gets hard when the kids get into their little look and you're like, ooh, I don't want to. That's what it is. That's what it is.

Yeah. But anyway, you're a doubt. Ladies. All right. Yeah, they are. That's true. Thank you so much. It's lovely to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Sorry I took you on a nice dark journey, but, you know. We like dark journeys. We prefer, even I, I prefer. I mean, I do like to talk about the Pickling, but I do also enjoy a dark journey. We had, listen, to me, I'm like, if that helps one person. True. That's all that matters.

Yep. True. Always true. Yeah. Yes. It's, it's, I find, I was just talking about this with somebody else. I was, we were talking about like how much you let people into your personal life, you know, in, in this sort of space. And I said, you know, I said, I'm always really honest.

And I think that for me, there's no other way to be because I just can't. The facade doesn't work for me. I can't do it. And so it's just like, here I am, take me as I am. And yeah, if I can, if we can buy our stories and our perseverance in life, if we can help one person, then that's like amazing. I couldn't agree more. Yeah.

Thank you for being so open. Yeah, we appreciate it and love it. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Okay. Have a good day. Yeah, have a great day. Bye.

Bye. That was a headgum podcast.