Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Ashlee Simpson on SNL-controversy, Individuality, and Relationship with Jessica

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Ashlee Simpson talks to Rachel and Olivia about her relationship with her sister Jessica Simpson, her life as a mom to kids ranging from age 3 to 15, and the value of individuality. They also discuss female camaraderie, how often is normal to have sex in a marriage, and Ashlee’s infamous moment on SNL.Broad Ideas is supported by Talkspace. Get $80 off your first month at Talkspace.com/IDEAS.Broad Ideas is supported by Blissy. Try now risk- free for 60 nights at Blissy.com/RACHEL, and get an additional 30% off.Broad Ideas is supported by Firstleaf. Go to TryFirstleaf.com/IDEAS to sign up, and you’ll get your first six hand-curated bottles for just $44.95.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Hi. Hi. Hey. Today on Broad Ideas. So we have known, what? Why are you shaking finger wag? You said we, I went. Oh.

You and me. Oh, yes. Olivia and I have known Ashley Simpson for 20 years, maybe. 20? 20. Yeah. Every time you say it, I know, it's like, oh, how old am I? Anyway, she is joining us today with two of her best friends that we are also close with, Stephanie and

Lauren, and we have a very fun catch-up to do. Love these girls. Love Ashley, so happy she came to talk to us. So let's get right to it. Sometimes when the work inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride we'll talk about dogs and kids and things we'll talk about chicks and tampon strings we'll talk about because people die wait were you saying you've never done a podcast or you just I've never done a podcast this is we're popping it first one first that's really that's really really exciting. Thank you for trusting us with your virginity in the podcast. There it is. You're popping my cherry.

Oh my God. We're so happy. All of you guys are here. Thanks for me. I forgot we were doing a podcast. I know. It just seems like catching up. I know. Basically it is. Yeah. And Rob's like, did you prep? I'm like, prep. We're talking to like Ash and and Lauren and stuff. What do you mean? I know. It's crazy. We also go way back. I know. We were like talking on the way over here. We're like, we've all lived like, I don't know. We had sort of mirrored lives, like, growing up in Holly. I mean, you guys lived here, but we all, like, growing up here.

Well, how long, so how many years ago was that? Like, we all met. 20. We met. 2004? Like, four, you were on. Those week. I was making my first album.

Yes. It's like, it's like during that time. Or maybe I had made my first album when we met, or had I not? Because we met through. You were. I feel like you. And Brett, her husband. Brett.

You were making. Yeah. In the making. Yeah. Probably. And your show. So, because I have this, like, funny memory, and I'm sure you guys were both. It was at your apartment off of, um, oh, yeah.

By the Hollywood Bowl. And you were like, you guys were like, wait, you guys, you live with Ashley Simpson? I was like, yeah. Because you guys are childhood best friends. Yes. So we are all friends from, like, Texas, from growing up. Yeah. Childhood.

And then I moved out here with my family when I was 14. My sister had gotten signed to, like, Columbia Records. and we moved out here. And I grew up, I was a dancer. And they were like either. And at the time I was like on and off going to Julia Art to School of American Ballet. And they were like, you could go there year round or you could come with us to L.A. And I was like, I want to go to L.A.

and go to acting class. And I'll dance with you on tour. Even though I wasn't really like a hip hop dancer, I was a ballerina. So I had to learn to get down and get low. Yeah. And she's going to show us. Oh my God. I don't know if I ever knew that.

So then you were dancing. So I danced with my sister from the time I was 14 to 16. And at 15, I was doing music as well. So I said, look, I'll do this tour if I could bring my guitar player to be as a guitar tech so we can write songs. Smart. So I did that. And then at 16, I left touring with them. And I came home.

And I was on 7th Heaven. I remember. I told you that I was on 7th Heaven. You were too. I feel like everyone was on 7th Heaven. Yeah. It's a moment. For sure.

Yeah. So I did that for two years, and it was, like, nice because I was, like, being paid while I wrote my first album. Yeah, that really works out quite well. I love watching your dancing on YouTube. Oh, and we also do that. I don't know. We're going to do that now. Yeah?

Do you do dancing on YouTube? No, like, you're a backup dancer. Oh, my background. Yeah. Me and you're a dancer on YouTube. I'm like, no idea. Surprise. Surprise.

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. You know what you're talking about you? No, like our funny 90s, like, you know, early 2000 looks with like, oh, and I love to look at it. Twisty buns in your hair. You know how you do like four buns of like twist.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it was a ton. It was a moment for fashion. And Lauren's married to Brett. So Brett was Adam Brody's best friend while we were on the OC. I'm just giving all context. And this is how we all connected. Yes, this circle.

They were roommates. And, yeah. And Brett brought Lauren into our lives. And we were very blessed for them. I remember the first time you guys came over. Well, no, I think I remember the first time hanging out with, I don't know if you were there, but you two were there. And we were at Jake Hoffman's house at his parents' house.

And we were in the jacuzzi. And I remember Lauren was like sitting at the edge of the jacuzzi. And afterwards, Brett's like, I like Lauren. And like the way he said it. And I was like, she's so. cute. And I remember thinking, like, that you guys were like us. You guys had what we had. Yeah. Yeah. We were like this gaggle of girls that grew up together. And it was like, no matter where one of us was, just like today. When, well, that's what she was like, we do the podcast

with me. And I was like, can I bring. Stephanie? Yeah. And I love what you said about that, too. You were like, it's your security blanket. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. That's why Olivia. Hello. I'm like a podcast while I need to bring. Right. Because you have those people. But it's also crazy because if we go back to that time, like, first of all,

you've been with Brett this whole time. It's insane. How many years have you and Brett been together? I think it will be like 20 years this year. Like since that hot time. But since it'll be 20. It's like July 20, 2004. That's crazy.

Which is insane. Yeah. And then you, obviously, like, you were young when you. got married, the first marriage, right? My first, yeah, yeah. And had a child. I was 23. Yeah.

I had just made, so when I got pregnant with my son, Bronx, he's 15 now. But when I got pregnant with him, I just made my third album, and I was starting to tour and I got pregnant. Right before. Do you say 23? 23. So think about that for a moment. I'm like, if you handed me a picture.

of myself at 23, I would be like, don't let her make a decision. Right? Honestly, that was the craziest thing. That no one did. No. No, no. And none of my friends had been through it. You know what I mean?

I had one friend, which was Nicole Ritchie, and she was pregnant the year before me with Harlow. So thank God, because I really don't know what I would have done without her. and teaching me like, what a night nurse is, what you feed your kid, all that kind of stuff. I was like, wait, what do I do? But literally none of our friends had kids. We were in such a different time in our life. Lolo and her sweet self, she would stay with me while everyone went out.

And I feel like my sister never went out, but I feel like the time that I had a baby, she decided she wanted to start going out. No, right. No, right. She said, we want all my friends to come to your house. I was right. At the time, well, I have a baby on my boop.

Oh, my God. No, it's actually cute because Lolo would come and hang out with me. And at the time, Bronx's dad, he was touring.

Oh, so you were alone pregnant. Like 24 with a new baby and all, everybody was jailed on 24. So my nine months, when I was nine months, pregnant my birthday is October 3rd,

I'd like a white trash theme, you know, which I probably could never have done with my other babies. I did a swimsuit on, short, like fake tattoo on my belly. It was a good party. Fake soon.

I feel like with all my other pregnancies, I was much older and not as cute as when I was 23 and pregnant. Wow. That was a real bounce back. But that makes you a Libra. I'm a Libra. Me too. You are two?

What's your birthday? October 14th. What are you guys? Aries. Pisces. Eres and Pisces. What are you? You said that like, I'm sorry.

All of our first. are Libras. Like, we're surrounded by Libras. Oh, really? They're great Libras. So I went through, yeah, so I had my first child and then, you know, he's actually great and we get along great, but we... And he's a grown up. My son?

Oh, yeah. But I was saying, though, that when we separated, I was, you know, then a single mom, we separated when Bronx was two and a half. Oh, wow. Yeah. So you were like 25, 26? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. And then I think there was like just this whole new world of, you know, because I really hadn't figured out that I feel like women change at 25. And we all know that. 25 is like a changing time in your life. For sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I feel like for me there was like a moment of like really figuring myself out. And then I was so lucky my husband came into my life. Yeah. Two more kids. Right. How long after or when did you meet your husband now? We met and he's younger than me. He was 24 and I was 28. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And now I'll be 40.

October 3rd. I can't believe that. I know. I know. Wait, that means I'm 42. Wait, hold on. That's possible. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Wow. It's crazy. Wow. What does it feel like to be 40? I'm like, are you 40? I love it. Yeah.

I'm 44. Yeah, you're 44. I'm 44. Okay. I forget. I swear to God, I forget. Like, I think after I'm 40, I was like. After 40, yeah, it's all like.

I will say in a hundred percent honesty, I like my 40s better than any decade I've ever entered. Right. I just feel like a person. I feel like I've arrived in who I am as a human. I would never go back to my 20s. Oh, no, no. Not in a million years.

And 30s is weird, I feel like. 30s is weird. It's weird. I mean, look, there's things about turning 40 that we all are going to have to face, which is, you know, you're going to get the gray hairs and the wrinkles and the, you know, all of that kind of stuff and you watch you don't have to get those. No, you could get them.

You could die there and prevent it. But yes. There is a transition where you're like, oh, I'm not that girl anymore when you still feel like her in a lot of ways. Right.

Well, we're always connected to that. Yeah. Of course. Right. Oh, my God. And I feel like that's the only, sometimes like when that like younger part of you comes up, you're like, wait,

but I know how to face this different. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. I wouldn't, yeah, I'm the same. like I wouldn't go back. And I feel like you handle things so differently as you get older.

Right. But I find myself, like, looking at Instagram and they're like, this happened in da-da-da. And like, you're old if you, da-da-da. And I'm like, we're doing it. But that's all like our prime. So old? Yeah. You know, but it's in your face.

And especially as women too. Yeah. Right. Like age. And everyone's like looking at you and judging. Yeah. And it's really fucked up, you know? And so it's just navigating that, which you have your girls.

And, you know, your support systems. and everyone goes through it together. Yeah, luckily we go through it together. Yeah, we're very fortunate to have, like, the sisterhoods and, like, you know, for life. And luckily. And our children. I mean, every time I'm like, well, I'm going to be 40, well, guess what? That means my son will be 16.

Yeah. That's so crazy. I'm like, that's okay. That is okay. You have a full-blown man. I should be 40. Right. Right.

You have a 16-year. Those go together. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And then your youngest is. So my youngest is three. Three.

Yeah. Right. And then I have an eight. eight-year-olds. My daughter's eight. How do they all do? And you said you have eight-year-old. Eight and four.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have such a wide variety of eight. Yeah. So, like, do they hang out? Like, does Bronx, like, how do that? You know, and both of my son, speaking of signs, they're both Scorpio's. Okay.

My dad is even. Yeah. Spropios. On opposite ends. My baby is October 29th in Bronx. Well, that's my daughter's birthday. Really? Yes.

Breyer's birthday. Oh, my God. Oh. And you know what else is Evan's sister, Tracy? No way. It's your birthday. Yeah. That's so cute.

Okay. That's really sweet. That's so cute. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like they're pretty strong. They're pretty strong. Very.

I mean, he's only three, but I can, I can see it. You can see it. I said, I want this, mommy. I got you Ziggy. Yeah. That's really sweet. And there's nothing like for me having all the different ages. I feel like that you have a little one too, but when they finally find their voice and start

like talking and like. Yeah. But I want this. I want to do that. It's actually cute because of a different age. So like Jagger can look after Ziggy or like this Christmas. We were at, we always go to Evan's moms for Christmas. And it's like there's so many cousins. So many. That's also like quite the mom to have. I know. Yeah. That's iconic. That's iconic. That's iconic. It is. For sure. And the house is amazing. It's in Connecticut. And it's actually where Evan and I. Connecticut.

Yeah. That's where Evan and I got married in Greenwich. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And so it's like so fun to be there with all the kids. Yeah. A lot of kids. And it's where Evan grew up.

That's amazing. So like I can go to his old room. I don't know. Oh, still the same house. I feel like, have you guys ever felt like if you go into like your boyfriend or your husband's old like shower or something, there's something exciting about that? You're like, what were you doing? I was saying your night goes to you're like, are you in a shower. No, I've never thought of it.

No, that's you. That's you. That's amazing. Would you have liked me? Would you have liked me? Oh, see, I think I don't do that because my husband was more of like the, like he grew into who he is today. Right. But in high school, I don't think I, I don't.

No, I always do that. I don't think I would like it. You know what I? Like, he would have liked me a lot. Yeah, yeah. You go to high school and you see both of you in high school and you, like, would you even. Right, right. Like, do you guys, do you feel like you're...

I feel like you and Evan... Well, I think we would have liked each other, but I would have been older. I'm like 18 and he's 14. I don't know. That one of. How do you feel about that, like the age difference that you're older? Does it affect you at all, or...

No, I feel like also Evan growing up with, like, his mother being who she is, and he has older sisters like Tracy Chudney and Rhonda. And they, he has a family of... 10. Wow. So when his parents got together, they had three. His dad had three and his mom had three. And then they had Ross and Evan. So that's him and his brother. And they're nine months apart. They're nine months apart. And she had them at 44 and 45. It's like, what? Yeah. She's like, I thought I couldn't get that. I think he's worth. Yeah. So it's very impressive. Wow. When I hear stories about it, they're like, oh, and she was just going to the Prince concert the next day. And I was like, wow. What? So there's always something to look up to. You know, I'm like, I'm like, and my mom is amazing too. So to have those amazing women around you, it's like, all right. Yeah.

I want to hear about that. Because I think this is a big deal. And you have people in your life that support you and have been there since a very beginning. What has that done in your foundation of what you've gone through? Because you have had a very public life from a really early age. And there's been a lot of. of different things that have been out there. Like, how has it been to have a support system?

What does that mean to you? What do women mean to you in your life? I mean, honestly, I feel without that support system and out, I mean, without going, you know, I've been through a lot in my life of like ups and downs or like publicly, like people thinking I'm going through more than I probably am too. Because of that support system, I feel like there was always a way of looking at things differently than, you know, and growing up, the world was. just so much harsher. I mean, it's still harsh because now it's like, you know,

everything you do. You're like, oh, I'm just going to parent and be over here. But it's like people may, you know this because you grew up in that time, people made stories of things or like, you know, there were things that I went through in my life that were publicly like humiliating and whatnot. And for me to have that foundation of strength from, you know, growing up, even as my sister's dancer, watching people would be like, oh, she's that when she's not, she looks great. You know what I mean? She's a tiny little thing.

And just seeing how people would do that. And I would be the first as like her dancer to be like, go fight somebody. Have you looked in the mirror? You know. I just thought your back. So I've definitely been, you know, I had seen it before I walked into it. So I kind of knew what I was getting into in my life as well. And I've lived it.

But I feel like just being surrounded by women that find that strength. And I think as women just in their day-to-day life, we all have to look to each other for that. Because we all have just common normal shit that happens in life too. And it's like things will break you. And we have to like have that. That's my friends and my two amazing, my mother-in-law, my mom and my sister. And having that like foundation of us remembering, like, like who we are, where we come from, and that, you know, I feel like women have to be so strong.

Oh, my God. Like, men just get to be like, oh, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. It always seems that way, doesn't it? Yeah. Like, and it's the same for me, like, going through stuff and but you have your support system. And women, it seems like we just deal with a lot more of, like, the scrutiny and anything,

in the public eye, especially. Like, you have been in the public eye since you were a child. Yeah. You know, because that's so young. Mm-hmm. In 14, all of it. And even for me like I was 21, but still, it's just like you're... That's young.

It's young. It's young. It's young. And you're just growing up and all these things that happen. Yeah. And you're dealing with it. But you have come through it all and out of it all still so amazing. And it's like because of the foundation you have. And it really does make a difference. It really does. Yeah. And I think that there's just also a thing of going, that's that. This is me. This is my personal life. and not connecting them. Yeah. You know? And it's been interesting for me because there's been moments where I'm like,

oh, I want to like, I want to write. I want to put a new album out or I want to go back and do a show or something. And then, you know, it's like having three kids. I always get back to like, but I'm a carpal mom and I have to do this. My kids need me. And that's like my priority. Right. No, yeah.

We're the same that way. I think everyone we were like texting about doing it and you're like, I'm always in the car because carpool this and that. And I was supposed to like read at Jagger's school. I couldn't. And it's like we all do that. I think we're moms first. Yes.

And I think that's the most grounding thing. Absolutely. 100%. Because what's more than that? Right. Right. I mean, for at least us. Not me.

No. And all of their daily things. I got in a fight with so and so today. Oh my God. Navigating the kid stuff is, you're going to have it. Yeah, it's common for you. It's coming for you. For sure.

And you have a girl, so you know, it like starts early, I feel like. I didn't remember it being this early. Me either. Right? Okay. The girl starts so early. I'm like, wait, wow. I had no idea.

I'm like, it started even like last year in second grade and I was like, I remember maybe like fifth, sixth grade, you start dealing with stuff, but it is early. It's early. You know, I tell you all the stuff. You talked about it yesterday. We're like, this seems early. A year old boy. Boy.

Yeah. It's not different. That easy. They're like. So, I didn't realize who was going to be this one. You know, girls, we were, we've talked about this so much because we were like that and we always had like, what? We were, we were girls. Like, we'd be like, everyone needs to change our favorite color.

Like, mine's red and no one's allowed to choose red. Right. That is true. It's the nature of women. That's in the third grade. This is funny. And we started off as enemies. It was not nice to me in the third grade.

You were not in the night. And she's the nicest person on the planet. I think for anyone to say, Lolo, not nice, she wasn't nice to meet in high school. We were enemies too. Yeah. I think I used to have a means trade,

honestly. I can't see that at all. Which seems impossible. I know. She's the nicest person. Broad Ideas is supported by TalkSpace. Do you think seeing a therapist or psychiatrist would be helpful,

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to school in. And Ashley comes in all new and like hot and just like third spot. No, that's a thing. Thursday. Was it third? She was a fourth thing. Yeah. She was a dancer and she wore like little skirts with their long legs and she was so cute. And she liked my boyfriend. Yeah. No. She was like, no. And I was like, no. No. And, um... But I do remember, I think it was my first week of school, and I didn't realize I was wearing skirts and doing the splits in the back of the room reading. Yes.

Did you not? And she would have everyone looking at me. I'm like, oh, my God, Ashley Simpson's doing the splits, and you can see her panties. Oh, you were like, no. And I was like, no, that's not cool. Well, and then I was like, I feel like when, like, throughout the year, when it kept happening, then I was like, oh, wait, I don't want people looking at that. So then I'd be like, Ashley, close your life.

Oh, my gosh. We should thank you. Thank you. You just totally from the beginning. Thank you. I'm not my own world. I was a ballerina. I'm just like, do, do, do.

Oh, my God. Speaking of closing your legs, that is so funny because I remember. I remember you not. Yes, that's what I was going to say. I remember your, that jacuzzi night. We stopped. My legs. Your legs were not closed.

She took a trip for me. She was crazy. She said, I'm going to do the Ashley from work. That's what happened. She was like, I picked up the cube. You were sitting on the side of the jacuzzi. And I remember thinking she's so free because I was already self-aware,

but you were sitting in a bikini on the side of the jacuzzi. It's blitz. Okay? We learned things from my friends. This is the truth. You guys are almost everything. I took a tip from actually. I was like, I like Brett.

Let's just how you get the boy. Yeah, this is how you get it. But you were, like, kicking it in like splits with your bikini. And I was like, God, because you were a little, you were a little younger than us. And I was like, that must be nice to be so young and free. And this was at like 20 and 20. Yeah, yeah. It's hilarious.

That's very funny. You're like I still do that. Yeah. Still do it. Yeah. Look at us. I can still do the splits. It's like my drunk trick.

It's so embarrassing. I'm like lift my leg over my head. So you know I've had too many when I'm like lifting my leg over. I'm showing I can still lift my leg above my head. And my husband's always like, well, there she goes. Maybe it's time for bed. Maybe it's time to go. Well, my text in the morning, we're like, well, Ashley did the splits again.

Oh, it's all right. Oh, that's amazing. I wonder if everyone has that thing that happened. Did they do? Yeah. Like, if you're like too drunk. Right, right. I mean, this is my go-to.

I'm like, it's got to stop. By the time I'm 40, it's just got to stop. You know, I guess my life guys, it's got to stop. It doesn't know, because if you can still do that at 40, I feel like you should trust them. Let's just make sure your kids aren't there. I think sometimes I get impressed with myself. You know, I've had a few, and I'm like, been momming all day.

I'm like, look what I can do. But now you're like in the big bag, you're like in the skirt. No, no. Big bag is great hands. It's a different thing. We're not in the skirt. It's so good.

Steph, you toured with the skirt. Ashley. I did. Yeah. It's her backup singer. I remember seeing you guys. I feel like it was the Greek. I remember seeing you in the audience. Yes. Yes. Yes. Was my first show out here? No, it was my first show. But my other year. The theater of that tour. Yeah. Yeah. I remember coming. And you were on stage and we walked. I remember them. I remember you with the girls like dancing in the audience. Yeah. We were of course. We were dancing. It was fun. It was so fun. I know. That was so much fun. Yeah. I was so much fun. What a good time. Like, yeah. And with your best friend and I go back Like our parents went to college together.

We've been best friends our whole life. Oh, my God. Oh, my whole life. Yeah. Like, we never really didn't know each other, honestly. And so then how did you? Her mom would take me to the doctor when I was younger. My mom was like, oh, she's fine.

Her mom would take me. And then there was a time where I was touring and stuff, and I came and I was staying at your house, I think, but we had all gone out. In Dallas. In Dallas. We had all gone out. Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, I want to go home.

I want to go to your house and put my eggs on. I put my eggs on. And I was so excited I run and I did like a gunky. A goofy like leap thing. And I fall over some acorns and I broke my two fingers. And then your mom the next day I had like acorns in my hair. She woke a doctor. And I had acorns in her hair.

My mom was like, what's happening? She didn't take Ashley to the ER to get her like fingers wrapped up. Pretty babies. So she's been taking you the doctor your whole life. Exactly. And now I feel like what's nice about that is we're all. each other's godmom. Yeah.

We'll be doing the same thing for each other's kids. That's right. I'm her youngest god mom. Yeah. Oh, sweet. It's really special. It is special. I know.

And what about, what I'm always curious about is because, you know, like, obviously with siblings, some people have sibling rivalry. Some people don't. I never did. But there is that kind of when you have an older, I grew up with an older sister. So I know what that's like. And when they're incredibly beautiful. Right.

And, I mean, in your case, famous, what was that like for you growing up with Jessica Simpson as your sister? Like, that's kind of a thing. It is a thing. Right. You're going in the shadow. Let's be honest. I think it is a thing. And I think there was, like, moments where it felt like that.

But, like, growing up, so growing up, my sister didn't like to sleep alone. So we would always, she would sleep on my trondel bed. We are asleep on our room. So like we always, you know, had that like bond of like getting ready together and all that stuff. And I think that there was always that. And then I think that, you know, at times there was moments like maybe on tour. I was like, hey, look at me over here. You know, we had those moments.

But our relationship as a whole has always been like very close. We share friends. She likes all the people I pick. They're both best friends with my sister. And I think that there's just been something so nice about that because we can relate to each other, both of us having gone through the same thing. And she has three kids as well. Right.

And I think that, you know, there was definitely moments growing up where I was like, but I also felt like so my own person, you know, I never felt like, oh, I see that and that's, I need to be like my sister. I never felt that way. That's amazing. Yeah. So, and I grew up, I was, you know, mostly, like, dancing in theater and weird and entertaining her friends and annoying them. I think there's been times where I would have, like, she'd have her friends over, and I'd be like, Lolo, we're going downstairs.

I have my guitar. This is your dance. This is a song we're singing. This was, like, sixth grade. You're like, it was last week. She would literally like, like, I knowing her and, like, get under her skin. Yeah. I'm not sure you were naked.

You'd put me in, like, some stupid little time. They are like, yeah. Oh, my God. I would do all these songs like, what was that one? Fly better one. Why, why, why, why, why do people ask why? And it was like, he was very stupid. Like, why do people use a fork and sometimes move to New York?

And her friends are like, what's happening? They're like to make it stop. That's normal siblings. Exactly. But other than that, I think that my sister's a really strong person, and she, as well, has been through so much. And I think having that together and having, I think there's just like a strength there. There's a comfort.

There's something that no one would understand but us. Right. And I think that, I mean, I've been so lucky to have that. Yeah. How do you think your parents did that? Because you guys are such unique individuals. What do you equate that to? I mean, my mom runs my sister's clothing line, the Justice Seusson Collection.

Yeah. And my mom really would pay attention and see me like if I needed something different or like she would make that time. You know, now that we're all parents, we finally get like the other side. Like take me to my acting classes. Take me, you know, make that time to like let us both be individuals. And then I think, you know, growing up, I was really an independent soul and I wanted to like do my own effing thing. Yeah. So they had to let me kind of be free and have that moment or at least feel.

feel free. Right. Sometimes too free. But. Because you guys don't feel the same. No. No. No.

Like you're just, it doesn't feel the same where a lot of siblings do. Yeah. Where you're like, okay, she's following in her sisters, whatever. Right.

Like you guys seem like two completely different human beings all together in all the ways. Yeah. Yeah. But it's what works. And I work with her mom. And, And I can tell you, like, her mom is very good at seeing each person's strength and, like, really catering to that. So I could totally see that she would raise Jessica a different way than she would raise Ashley.

And they'd bring out your strengths and encourage you in the way that you should go and Jessica in her way. Yeah. And I think younger, too, I would come off way more rebellious than I even was because I was like, oh, no, I'm not doing that. Yeah. I would see how my dad would be like, oh, you can't talk to this guy or whatever. you know, here's your ring to save yourself. And I was like, he tried to give me one at 12. And I was like, oh, no, thank you.

You said, I won't be telling you when I have sex. No way. And meanwhile, I never did until I was 17, but I always wanted it to be open that you don't know what I'm doing. I never did. Until I was 17. Also, you're kind of the opposite now where it's like, now, I don't know, I feel like you're such an open.

But can you share it all? Yes, I do. That's for sure. You know how that is. I'm the same way. Yeah. Yeah. How is your dialogue with Bronx?

Because he's going to be 16? It's open. It's open. Okay. No, I'm curious about that, you know? It's so interesting, like having a 15-year-old and then having the boys. So, you know, you've got to be like, okay, so here's the deal. This is what it looks like.

Right. This is what it looks like to get a girl pregnant. I mean, he's not there. But, you know, just to have those open conversations. I feel like it's so important. And I feel like having those, other than that, your kids are going to be hiding things from you. Right. Or you won't get the story from when they came home from a party and who had what there,

whatever, you know, whatever that story is. And I feel like so far we've had like a really good dialogue with that. Yeah. You know, we're really close. I'm very lucky. That is really cool. Yeah. And he's such a good kid.

Yeah. Yeah. Is it hard co-parent? So you know one of them is going to like that. Yeah. He's definitely going to be an easy one. But no, co-parenting has, for me, been amazing. That's amazing.

That's a great guy. Megan's amazing. And they also have two kids. And I feel like I really, like, won the co-parenting lottery. Exactly. That's what I was just about to say. Won the co-parenting lottery. They're amazing.

And, you know, I feel like we're always on the same page. And if we're not, we get to the same page. That's so nice. And then Evan's like the sweetest stepdad. He is. He's like the best bonus dad. He's like the cool guy over there. He's definitely the cool dad.

Yeah. He is. Oh, so they have a good relationship. Yeah, yeah, with all. And I feel like also we started when Bronx was two and a half. So he didn't know different, you know. Wow. That's true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Evan and I were together by the time he was like four, four and a half. So he doesn't know anything, but he didn't make. Got it. Got it. I mean. Okay. That's weird.

But did I say it right? You did. You did. And me and Evan. Those mine. Yeah. It's, well, Breyer was really young when her dad and I separated, so she doesn't really know.

It's the same thing. Right. Yeah. They're just like they're used to what they're used to. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Because, like, her friends have asked her, like, just do you?

I don't even know what they would ask, but she basically was like, I don't know any different. Yeah. Like, I know that this, what do you mean? You know, so I think. And we've also gone on like his flow. Like we used to have that like three, four thing, you know, the days that you have your kids. Oh, right. Yeah. And I think it was, maybe it was like 10.

He was like, no, I want to do one week, one week. Oh, it was his choice. Yeah. He was like, I want to have like my full week here and I want to have my full week here. Great. And we kind of flow with that. And it's been that for so long. And that's what works.

and like we're so easy with each other. Like, you want to go on tour? You know, it's been a real flow and natural good thing. That's really nice. You don't actually hear that a lot. No. No, you don't. And usually, when the microphones go off, they'll be like, he's really awful.

No. And I wouldn't say that. And Evan and they get along. Yeah, everyone gets along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone. Yeah. All around.

Yeah. I'm like, are you sure? Because I'm like, you're lucky. And then he is my friend and we go to dinner and like, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's like awesome. That is so cool. Yeah.

And really great for all the kids involved. For sure. You know? Yeah. I mean, these little kids are just, there's so many. There's so many. So many. And now I feel like, you know, we used to go to my sister's house and like have our like fun days.

But now it's like all of us have a million kids. You're running from birthday party to gymnastics. And as the curriculum. You know what she does, though? And I don't know if you guys do this, but she goes to every person's birthday party. Lauren, her birthday party. She gets so much. You know how we get like a million?

Like three every weekend. Well, three kids. She doesn't invite. Yeah. Oh, it's a long. Ashley gets matched. She's like, okay, what are you going to do tomorrow? You want to hang out?

And I'm like, I'm sorry I have birthday parties. She's like, you don't even know that. But you feel like, but the kids. But the kids. That's what I feel. I'm like, but the kids. We have something after. after school every single day.

Yeah. And then on the weekends, there's things, and whether it's birthday parties or it's extra gymnastics or it's Girl Scouts or whatever it is. Right. It's so much. It's so much. It is. I don't remember doing that when I was little. No, I don't think we did.

Nobody did. I don't think any of us did. Our parents didn't do it. That's my question. I mean, I was told you yesterday, yes. I feel like, yes. Did you get homework too? Do you get homework too?

Because we do now and I'm like, oh my God. Yes, there's homework. I have an issue with homework. I'm like, they're at school working for, you know, however many hours. Then they come home and you have to do. Right. And they only have like a few hours. Like, let them be able to go outside and play and do whatever.

I really have an issue with homework. I agree. Can you guys do the math? No. I'm so bad. I can't do it. I'm so bad. It's a whole other method now.

Even in first grade, I was like, I don't understand this question. I don't know. I used to do those flash cards, you know, and so I would memorize. But now I'm like, wait. No, you guys, because they didn't teach us how to do it. I'll just really pull out my calculator. Yeah. Like, mom's the answer.

Like, I can do it. I'm like, wire. Plug your ears. Alexa. What's your thing? I don't even know how to do it, though. It's written different. It's written.

It's written. It's a whole different. Have you guys seen the Nate Bergotsi stand up? No. Oh, my God. He's so funny. He's so good. He's like, what's with this new math?

Like, why they change math? He's like, it's like, it's like someone showing up at your front door and you're like, could you go around the back? and hop over the fence. Right. Yeah. And then being like, well, does the front door not work?

And he's like, no, it works great. But I want you to do it completely backwards and different. I'm like, I don't know how to help them. Well, that's where it's good when like Bronx and his friends are over. I'm like, here. Oh, my God. I don't know. Yeah, that helps.

That does help. Oh, my God. Yeah. I wish I had that. I know. I'm trying to think. I'm like, who is. No, I think that, you know, just everything.

Yeah. the way things are. It's just so different. Yes, for sure. All of it. Broad Ideas is supported by First Leaf. I have really been loving using First Leaf. I get wine shipped right to my door. And I get to try ones that I never would have even thought to try before. It is so convenient and so accessible, I am loving the ease of it.

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ninth grade, ninth grade. So like all the grades, all the dynamics, you're saying, it's easier you think with a boy. Do you, has it started to shift at all? Like, because he's a teenager? Like, do you notice? No, I mean, he's like. like really easy and like you know he'll give me that

time and everything and he really hasn't shifted I mean he's the golden child he has always been he was an easy baby he was like a kid he'll be like mom did I cry as much as Ziggy and Jagger and I'm like no he never like bit a kid

but really like a golden kid but yeah he was like really easy but then I think when you have that sibling to look at to like you know That's really great that they have him as their older siblings. Right. Totally. Oh, for sure.

It sounds like it. Yes. Because that's what people say. It's like, yeah, girls are harder, younger, and then it switches. Right, right. It switches, they say? With girls? It is?

Yeah, boys are harder when they're young. I'm like, you're going to switch when they turn 13 and rambunctious. And then girls get hardest too. Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry, I got it wrong. You're fucked. Wait.

I'm just kidding. I'm like, I don't think it switches when they're. get hormones, right? No, it gets boys are hard when they're young. Because they're wild. Breyer has been so easy. Come to my house and you're going to get chucked in the head with something.

They're like physical. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a lot. That's fun. Yeah.

So I want to hear from you guys. What has been the biggest thing that you've been through with Ashley that you feel like, thank God we have each other. I mean, honestly, when We both moved out to L.A. And we just happened to move out at the same time in 2004.

Like, she went from, you know, recording this album to having this MTV show to just blowing up. Yeah. And she was so famous. I mean, it was honestly insane. And watching her navigate all of those moments. I mean, there was some, like, high highs and, like, definitely some low lows. And, I mean, you're such a strong person. But I feel like that was really intense, you know, for a couple years.

Well, the fame. I mean, because. And like you said, you know, yeah. your sister, but then you and your own right blew up. I mean, it was crazy. And you guys witnessed that and all the things. And I know, like, you guys were there through like the ethanol thing. Yeah.

They were actually with me. They were at my rehearsal. And they slept in the room with me the night before at the Mandarin Oriental. And I was like, oh, no way. You guys. I'm like losing my fucking voice. What am I going to do? And the next morning I woke up and I couldn't speak.

And I was like, because I had done my rehearsal. the night before. And then I woke up the next day and I couldn't speak. I saw the voice doctor that day and I had two nodules beating against each other. So it was like very, that was, that was a real What a stress. Take us through it. Let me explain to something. Take us through it. I know I feel the stress just. There is another thing in my life, like, which I was going to say, which I never, you know, I've, like, talked about or said. But it's like the other thing is learning as a woman when you say no, as an artist, as a human, as a whatever. So that day I said, I will not go on.

I don't care. I can't speak. Meanwhile, I'm not saying this. I'm writing it down. Yeah. Because I can't talk. Yeah. It's like, wow, you know.

And I'm like, won't do it. And then that's like that label is that making you go do something. I was like, my band's never practice this. This is not going to go well. I can't do this. And then I think that moment of like having to do something. But then I think looking back, I would go, the power of my nose. and the power of me saying,

absolutely not, that's what I would go back and say. So you took something from it. Because, yeah, you were forced into that scenario. But instead, I feel like it was a humbling moment for me. I had the number one song. It was like everything was about to go like somewhere. And then it was just like, whoa, the humility of not even understanding

what grown ass people would say about you. Like growing in, like awful. awful things. That must have been really hard. It was so hard. Oh, my God. To learn how to tune that out. And they were with me throughout all that.

To tune that out, to find my strength, to get up and go again. You know, I ended up going to this vocal coach that I didn't have to do the surgery. He, like, help me through it. No, he died. Aw. That's sweet. But he really, this guy, Ron Anderson, he saved my life. He was the best vocal coach and helped me get through those notes and get rid of them,

which a lot of music artists get. I mean, I was just probably the worst type. in life. Yeah, your first S&L performance. You know what? I remember the day of S&L, because you did like a run-through, and then we were sitting in the audience. I think Eric Podwell was right near us.

Oh, my God. When it all went down, like, I mean, literally our mouths dropped to the floor. It was just such a bizarre. Just silence. Yeah. And then the next day, I don't think as her friends, we could really understand the impact it was going to have on her personally, but also that the entire, I remember we went to a deli for, like, brunch, and everyone around us.

and the deli was talking about it. I think it was like on the TV. What? It was covering a war in Iraq, but they were also showing about Ashley's, you know, S&L thing. So it was just like, it was so surreal and such a ginormous, like, you know. Yeah, when you say it, it really was like everybody saw and heard. Oh my God.

To this day, people still, you know, and what was hard from me was like I, and she was there with me when I wrote my first album. I mean, I wrote all these songs and I did all this. and it was like almost to have your credit completely taken from you. And you're like, no, but I mean, I feel like having the show at that time was nice because all the people that were my fans stuck with me. And I went back on stage and I went back to it all. But I think having to find at a young age that like strength to be like,

no, I'm good at this and I will keep going. And I will keep fighting. Good for you. Having to like write those songs about it. I don't think I got that it would be such a huge impact because I just knew that she could sing. And I was like, yeah, she's incredible. And I was like, you're her biggest fan. So when it did like make such an impact, it was so shocking because it's like here's somebody that actually is extremely talented.

And she's like giving us all. Yeah. It's all going to hatch away from her. It was really horrible. But also it's like if you think about that, it's so ridiculous. Because here's the thing is that there wasn't anything, take away what people said afterwards. What was really so humiliating. Right.

It's nothing. It's life. Like, shit happens. Well, how many... People have to do what they have to do when their vocal cords or whatever. How many things are fudge to look a certain way? It's like, it's performance. Like, there's smoking mirrors to things.

There's a lot of performers that just perform and don't necessarily, like, sing. Right. How many people have done the same thing on SNL is what's kind of funny. I noticed it the other day. I was like, do you know what's funny? What's wrong with that? Here's a funny story is I went back to SNL with my second album and I can't find it anywhere. What?

No, I'm like searching search for that performance. I cannot find it. But it's probably because that was their moment with me. Okay, great. Let's petition to get to back on. Yeah, your next album is in my honor. I was really nervous when I was on there. Right, right.

God, I can't find it anywhere. And that was fucking scary to do. You know what I'm doing it again. Yeah. How scary would that be? Like, I mean, just like, what a thing to walk through again. Yeah. Yeah, but it was.

It's not really fair because it came down on a lot more people than you. Yeah. Oh, it did. Right? And it wasn't. No one knows that, though, you know. Nobody wants to say that. Like, you're one piece of a performing puzzle.

There is a lot of people involved in every choice. Yeah. choice, every decision, every beat of that. But yeah, it came out against you. Right. And that's really unfair. And it really goes back to like what we were talking about earlier today of like what media does to people.

Oh, they spin things. You know. They build you up to like tear it down. Yeah. It's crazy. Like even on this podcast, they'll take things that we talk about. And then the way media spins it, like they'll take something I said, but totally out of context.

And they want to spin it and they want to make it look like salacious. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, dude, like listen to the conversation if you really want to know. It's just like these little pieces of things and what they can do. Yeah. That's just. Yeah, they look for the thing. But I mean, I think for me, though, it taught me humility.

It taught me so much about myself and my own personal strength. And like, you know, I think the most important thing is, is if you believe in yourself, like, it taught me how at a young age to like, and I don't think without like my dance training and stuff, I would have. known how to like get back up and go again. So it's like I think that there's something about that too. Yeah. And as far as like the media goes, that's always going to be there. And it's like you, you know, you learn to ignore that. And right. How old were you when what happened? 20? 1920. Yeah. You were that young. It's really young. See, it's like abusive. Yeah. It's abusive. It's bullying. And like, I don't know. Something that's a child. People think they have the freedom to bully to troll. It's a

thing on Instagram, right? Like the comments or whatever. And it's like, what gives you the right to say, like, really mean things or like to tear people down? Like, what is that doing? Yeah. And what did you go through emotionally? It sounds to me like you have incredible perspective. Are you spiritual in any way? Or? I am. Yeah. Yeah. Because I can tell. I feel like everything's either happening for us or against us. Right. And it's all about how we look at it and what we take from it. And it sounds to me like you're taking the lessons in it. But how did you get to that point? Like what did you have to go through to get to the point where you're like,

okay, I can take this lesson. I mean, I think for me it was like, what was it like a week of sulking until I had to be like, okay, I need to like get all the steroids and be able to have my voice and get back on stage and like figure this out. And I feel like I owed that to my fans and to myself. And that's, you know, what I did. And I don't feel like the harder part of it for me was everyone bringing it up. Not that, like, I had let it go.

Right. You know, like, we're still doing that. Even still, I mean, not everybody. You're talking about it. Don't. That's okay because it's a part of my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

No, I don't care. I'm not saying. I'm kidding. Yeah. So same. No, but it was such an important part of who you are. And I feel like, yeah. Well, it's nice for you to be able to,

address it and talk about what you've learned from it and how it impacted, you know, you personally and everyone or what, you know what I mean? To have the platform to just talk about it, especially reflecting and looking back because how many years ago. That's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like, yeah.

I mean, I learned a lot through all that. I mean, there's so many different things, not just that, you know. Right. You're like, that was it. That was not my only lesson. For life. Not my only. Not my only. But I like that you keep bringing up humility. Like, it humbled you.

I think so. It was like right before it was like, okay, this is going to be number one. Like, whatever. But I mean, listen, I still, right after that, I wrote another album and it came out at number one. So it was like, I'll be okay. Right. We can't. Right.

You know. So I think not taking what people are saying and perceiving you as and really knowing your own self. And that was like, you know, a good time to learn it in your young age. Right. Yeah, really young to be learning that. And in front of the whole world. Right. But there are moments like that where you're like, well, it was kind of nice having my sister

because I'd already seen what the world does to people. So like you're aware of what could happen. Yeah. Right. And then like I said earlier, it's like that no. You know, the power of no. And if I would have had that power to really been like, which I would have now or looking back, you know what I mean?

I'd be like, I won't be showing up. Right. Period. Period. Yeah. Right. But 19 or 20, like, you know, how are you going to be able to do? You're being told, well, this is what we're doing. Of course. You don't have, of course. Yeah, I feel like fame for people is like a quick route to self-help in a way. Right. Because you're met with your ego in a way that's not safe. Exactly. It's just not. Yeah. And like what it does to people and like the ones who can persevere and like take the lessons and keep going.

I think it's important because I think these are things people based on smaller levels like going to school, our children, how do we teach them like what you say, your mom says all the time, like what people think of me isn't my business. All of that, like, I feel like doing that in the public eye is, it can be really dangerous of sorts for mental health. Oh, yeah.

A hundred percent. Yeah, thank God social media wasn't around like in the, at least in the thousands. You can imagine? So many reasons. So many reasons. So many reasons. There was such a different freedom in a way, even though there was paparazzi.

Yeah, it was definitely the heyday of paparana, right? It was interesting because of that, I noticed, like, with the younger generation, like, they come across very, like, if you're out or somewhere very put together, we did have a bit more freedom. We're like, woo! Yeah, we had a good time. It wasn't documented, like, everyone. Blown all steam over here. Yeah, you can do this. Litz on the side of the street.

Car wheels down the street. Yeah. It's true. How do you notice, like, social media with, you know, Bronx, is he, does he, is he on social media? Not like. I mean, he's a boy again. So it's not like, kind of looks at some girls on there or something. But he's not, like, out there, like.

Because in my mind, I'm like, I'm not. For social media. Right. Does he even happen? I've never seen him. I think he was a price. I just feel like I never want to let my daughter like just, no. Yeah.

But I wonder how. I feel like if you can hold out until 15, that's pretty good because nowadays they want to start so young. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they all. But he's not like looking at his phone line, though. And I feel like girls end up getting more into that, like, TikToky makeup and all that. Right. So with Jaguar, I won't be holding off until she's like 18.

I'm not sure I can't at that point. Yeah. What's your relationship with your phone? Because we were just talking about this. And we're being really honest with it. We have a little bit of a phone issue. I think they all do. When did this happen?

We had like what, flip phones, iPhones? Oh, yeah. What the side case? Side case. Yes. The Blackberry. And all that was so much better because now it's like everything. Access to everything.

Yeah. And then I find myself being like, your kids aren't going to be this young, you know, and trying to consciously put it aside and have that time. But then you're always like, oh, but I have to, oh, I have to respond to the, oh, this email, oh, this, and it's like constant, like, distractions. I feel it for sure, yeah, I'm definitely guilty.

You feel it? Oh, yeah. And Instagram, I keep deleting it off my phone. And I don't even know what cool things to look at, but you know, like, so I'm like, why did I sit here and look at Pinterest forever? Right. That's what I do when I'm trying to be good. Right.

I look into interest. Because at least it doesn't make me feel bad about it. When am I looking at? I'm like, who cares? I know. Well, you do that. And you just keep scrolling. You're like, what am I looking at?

All these lives, all these people now depressed. Like, what is depressing? It used to be like people's avocado toasted. Now I'm like, what am I actually watching? Yeah. I'm like, I'm just going to look at like, good news movement. Just all this positive stuff. Yeah.

Did you guys see that thing that it was like, and they asked a group of people like, what's the first thing that you should? do in the morning. And like the percentage was like, check my email, check my text messages, look at Instagram, whatever. And then it was like from 15 years ago, what was the first thing that you do in the morning? And like, like, 100% was P. Like, like, nobody like got on their phone and looked. It was like, the first thing you did was get up and go to the bathroom. Do you get on your phone and look? When I wake up in the morning, yeah, my alarm goes up. I go up. I look at it. I'm like, okay, I'll look at my email. I'm like, delete, delete, delete, delete. So how you wake up at them.

Yeah. My alarm goes off, but then it's like, Ziggy's like, Mom. Me too. I can't. I don't have time in that. I'm not in the first part. She's the most chipper, annoying person in the morning. She's like, hey, good morning.

Brasurer out. You're like that too. You'll like come in singing. What's your song? We're like breakfast, buddies on chips. But I've sang to her, I'm alive awake, alert, enthusiastic. I've sang that on trips with Rachel. I'm alive awake alert, enthusiastic.

Is that we did? So annoying. I'm like grouching the morning. I'm like, please both be a shout-up. We're ready to go. You'll always spend grouching the morning. I need 20 minutes. Like, don't talk to me for one time.

Wait a minute. How do you guys feel when someone brings in a new friend? Oh. Depends on the friend. By the way, in the morning, I'm so excited for you to have this baby because... Oh, it might change you. Get ready for your morning. I've gotten nicer.

Actually, I feel like the beginning is nice because you're like sleeping and cozy with your baby. I'm just like feeding. Especially your first baby. Yeah. If it's your first... We don't have a kiss. That's true. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Take advantage of, like, not having to them. They're in the bed with you and you can, like, lay there. They're making it sounds so romantic. They are. They tell you something. It's like going on war. We're like weird. That was my experience.

She doesn't love our, like, we're like, oh, feeding is so much fun. Oh, my God. They're like, giving birth is the best. The closest you'll ever be to God. It's true. The nursing, though, is, like, to me, the best thing I've ever experienced. Really? I did love breastfeeding.

I liked it so much. too. It was like, good to know. You did? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love giving birth. Actually, this last pregnancy, she died.

I do. My last pregnancy was so nice because we were pregnant in 2020. So there was like, it was just me and Evan in the hospital. Oh, wow. Which was like, usually we have everyone running in. She's been there when I've had my other deliveries. Oh, yeah. Where everyone's like, I'm wide open.

Everyone's running into the room. I'm like, hey, here's my vagina. Welcome. I'm not. I don't care because I'm like feeding my baby. Yeah, like, who cares at that point? You almost passed out one time. I was not going on.

Yeah. Mama Dee, like, walked you out of the room. She's like, yeah. Did you have a caesarian? No. No. But it was nice having that, like, moment with just me and my husband. Yeah.

And it was my third baby, so I was like, I got this. This is a great. No way. Did you have, did you have an epidural? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're a breeder. You're a breeder.

Do you like it? Do you like it? Do you like it? She had cesarean. Okay. I had two cesareans. But I will say I tried for 38 hours with no epidural. Oh my gosh.

And then while induced. And then I got the epidural and I thought there is a god. Why did I do that? Why do that to myself or what? So many people aren't. They're doing like at home. Like they go to Walmart and get the pool. You did?

I did. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I was like, The home birth is popular right now. It's popular. It is popular. And to each his own, but my kids probably would have not made it. Wow.

Because we went into emergency cesareans. Yeah. I mean, that's my whole thing is like the risk. You just don't know. I don't know, but it is a beautiful thing. And I know a lot of people. Yeah. Amazing.

I respect it. I know. I was like, I'll be in water. I would love to do that. I like the idea too. I also respect the fuck out of an epidural now. Right. Oh, yeah.

What I respect, and it's the epidural. For your second delivery, did you get the epidural right away? I had to get, well, I had to get a spinal one because the first one with Elliot, it didn't work so I could feel the whole cesarean. No. It's really fun. Oh. I shouldn't have said that. She does all the crazy birth story.

You've heard of all. You got to go eat the salad. I've heard about the salad. It was for me. It worked for me, too. Yeah. I didn't do this. Where do you go?

Is it like a rush? We can go out. It's in studio. It's in studio. It's a Tonga. Yeah. Wow. That's like your name.

I did. It's right by you. How soon should I be doing that like in four weeks? Yeah. You should do it. I went on my due date and I went into labor that day. Really? On your due day.

Yeah. That's wild. I went into labor that day too. It actually works. Why? What is this dressing? I don't know. It is like cast oil.

Maybe there's cast oil. I don't know. I don't know. I love cash oil. I use it on like my eyelash. Oh. Yeah, when you're ready, we'll all go get the salad. No.

What does it do? It's like condition. I put castorola in my whole head because I didn't know you shouldn't do that. It's so thick. It didn't come up for like three weeks. What? You do it like on a ketchup on your eyebrow. It like helps your eyelashes grow and stuff.

If you like put it on with like a liner thing. You can't rub it in your hair like that. I didn't know. I had no idea. Nope. This is not a clue. Ashley knows all the tricks. You do.

I know. I want all the tricks. Do you watch? No. It's really beautiful. What do you do? doing with your skin? I mean, I have nothing too crazy.

You just have good skin. She has a good skin. Oh, that's annoying. Yeah, it's fun. I know. We're always, like, assessing everything. And now I need your hair color. That's the color I think Leah should have.

This would be cute on you. Did you want to be great in there? Do you remember Leah? She's red right now. But like red red red and we feel like it would be. Yeah. I've been red for a while now. I love it.

I feel like people are following suit. You were like, I feel like the first. Yeah. Well, I was red when I had Bronx. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. I went to a different life for a while.

Guys, I have your Halloween costume. What? The Witches of Eastwick. Oh. Sometimes where her mind goes, you guys. Have you guys seen it? There's like the dark hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you'd have to be Michelle Pfeiffer. Okay. And then you would be Susan Sarandum with the red hair. Oh, cool. I don't know. Just like. I think of those 90s, like practical magic. Yes.

Oh, yeah. What was her name? Nicole Kittman had a good red. Oh, yeah. She's a good red for sure. Or you guys could be practical magic. Wait, did you tell us how you and Evan met? Did she say?

Evan and I met. And it's your age, but I don't know if they said her age. I didn't say how. We met through Stephanie. Oh, yeah. I was like, harder to me. Yeah. Oh, my God.

And how long were together before you got engaged? Not long. We were together for like seven months before we were engaged. Really? But remember we were like, we're getting married, like, right away. You're like, please don't call on each other. I was like, stop calling him your husband. I'm uncoachable.

But we knew. And every time we would be around each other, it was like, we knew. And now we're going to be married for 10 years. Wow. That's so crazy. I know. It's wild. And I'm so lucky.

I love him so much. He's my best friend. And I feel like, like I was saying earlier, because he has older sisters and whatnot, he also helped me navigate life in a different way, too. Yeah. And he comes from, like, divorced family. And he was. would just teach me so much about myself and I don't know.

It's just that one for me. And we're still having sex. It's not. Let's talk about that. It is like long-term relationships, marriage, all of it. We've been talking about this a lot recently. I want to do a poll. I want to know.

She is curious. Yeah, I want to know like how often married people do it. Like, because you hear like, oh, when you're married, you know more sex and all of that what do you guys think is the average amount of time? You don't have to say what you do. What do you think is the average amount of time? No, but say what you do. But say what you do. But say what you do? Well, you guys have been a decade in. We were just talking about this the other night at my mom's birthday. Yeah. Lola, really? No, I do the splice. I do this. I do this 20 years. I do this a lot.

It's like once a week or like once a month. No, I mean, I don't say like, once a week. that like, you know, three times a week? Oh, my God. That's a lot. That's a lot. Ashley. Is that not a lot?

Ashley times away. It's not. It's not always, but I feel like when I'm in like stride, you know, it's like, you know, the kids that have gone to school, like, let's do this or like, you know, we were talking about the morning. Do you feel like you have to map out times, like, because of the kids and navigating that? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And my daughter loves to sleep in my bed. So I got to figure out that morning or that. You do you know. Nighttime? Meet you in the guest room. Right. Night time or morning. Yeah.

Yeah. Night time or morning. It depends. I mean. More nighttime for me. He's more than night out and I like love to go to bed. Me too. I live to go to.

I'm tired. Every night. Yeah. I feel like mornings are a good time when everyone's old school. Three times a week is a lot. I mean, I'm not doing, it's not consistent. But it depends. But it depends.

When I'm in stride, it's like, left-down-like. We go through like, fanages. Sometimes where it is every week. Yeah. And then sometimes where it's like been like two weeks and you're like, okay, we got to fuck. We've got it. Exactly. Oh, it's been too long.

Yeah. I got to make up for this and pull out my tricks. Yeah. I remind you that I'm still great. I also think people get cranky and edgy. Yeah. And then like, no matter what, if my husband's cranky or edgy, Rachel's like, you got to, you know, I'll be like, he's seen a dick or whatever.

And she's like, I should probably shouldn't say that. He's never a dick. He's such a good guy. She'll just be like, we'll go have sex. Go have sex. Right. And I'm like, I say other things are not. You are right.

It does work. Honestly, it makes him just like you so much more. Oh, my God. You're like, sure, you can do that. I'm like, can I go on a girl's trip? I'll take the kids to school today. Yeah, you want to like. Right.

You want anything. You're like, I don't know how to manipulate this. Rachel will think of my husband more than I do sometimes. In a sense of, she'll be like, she'll be like, bring my piece of cheesecake. You know, like, it's a best cheesecake. I'm like, make sure you bring, I got an extra piece you could bring it home to Jeff. Oh, how many ways. Eleven years.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you have to be, like, reminded to, like, do those things. Yeah. And, like, have little moments. And, yeah.

My husband's good at that. Like, take me to a hotel or do something. Oh, you guys. That's helpful. Yeah. That's really sweet. I remember after I had my first kid, first second, I can't remember. But my mom was like, yeah, one of it.

My mom was visiting and she's like, what are you doing for protection now? And I'm like, abstinence? Like, what are having sex? And she's like, Lauren, you have to have sex with your husband. I love your mom. But I'm like, it reminds me of your mom. I know. Your mom is always a full of information.

Yes. Oh, my mom. I know. She sends her love by that. She was like, oh my God, you're... Anyway. Yeah. But it's the same thing.

My mom does that too. Always like, yeah, you have to keep your out as been happy. I know. It's so true. It feels so old school. It does. We're like, you've got to keep your man happy. My mom will do that.

She'll be like, well, why are you guys sleeping in separate beds? I'm like, mom, don't worry about that. We're tired. That's not when we're doing it anyway. So like stop tripping. But I feel like women of that generation are like, go in there. Yeah. Go take care.

I don't know that my mom does that, but she takes, yeah, for sure. But so, like, you say, like, Evan still am like romantic and everything. Yeah. Do you find that, like, actions and words both kind of, like, he meets both of those things, or is one more than the other? Mm. Good question. I feel like he definitely has actions, like, you know, if it's been a second since we've, like had that moment or that date, like, you're like, you know,

if you're like, oh, we haven't really done that. moment together. He does do his actions. Yeah. You know. And sometimes I have to like pull the words out, but I get them. But you feel like you have to like work for them and they're not just like natural. This is just a question because we talk to a lot of people and it's like love languages and whatnot and certain people need certain things. And I find like I find I guess actions more than words in general maybe with men, but I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. The thing. You would agree. Yeah. Look at these cute shoes. He just bought me the other day. They're a little

St. Laurent. There's so adorable. He was noticing nice. And he just surprises you with that. Yeah. So those little things are like, oh, yay, I'm doing good. You love me. So I think actions, you are right. And I'm probably more words. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What about you guys?

Actions, yeah. My husband can I don't know, he's not a big, he's not a man of many words, but his actions always show me, you know, what's the what? Yeah, he's like, cooks for you. Who said, I love you first in all of your relationship? I did in a fight. Oh, that's the way to throw it down. No, no.

Wait, he did in a fight. He was like, well, I love you, but I'm like, oh, that was romantic. I'm like, oh, my God, wait. I don't get me out. Who said it with you, Brett? Do you remember? I remember. I probably.

I really don't remember. I wonder if he remembered. I don't remember either. I feel like we both were like, I love me. We were like, I'm going to marry you. Yeah. We were like deep in there. Like quick.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's another thing, right? Like, I guess when you know. Yeah. You know, yours took three months. Three months.

Yeah. And I think it was, we were fighting. And he was like, I love you. And I went, oh, shit. Like, oh, we're going there. I probably said it first. I probably, yeah. You could have thrown that one out there.

That was really me. Yeah, you were intense. What about making the first move? You're not making the first move Or like initiating. How do you guys feel about that? I am trying to think. I had to like hold Brett off for a while

because he would show up at our house like every night. Like one in the morning and he would try to come upstairs. And I'm like, no. I think I was playing hard to get. And you had a boyfriend. Yeah, and I had a boyfriend. You're like, oh, that's so. I did.

And then. Which I think what's in your favor? Because like it wasn't as serious. Yeah, because I kind of like. him, but I was like, it wasn't as serious. And then one night, one night, finally, I think I had broken up with my boyfriend, RIP, he just died. Oh, my God.

I know. So sad. He killed himself. Oh, shit. I know. Do you remember Bobby the model? He was like the model that lived above us in our apartment. I just remember, like that.

He was like on Abercrombie. Yeah. He was like naked. Oh, he was like naked. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's so sad. But anyways, I called them and broke up with him.

And I called Brett and I was like, I'm single. And the rest is history. And the rest is history. Great kids in 20 years. Right. Well, it's just been such a long journey. It has. I mean, just to.

It's been fun. And by the way, back to that note, if Evan were here, he would say I definitely made the first move. I was like, come in to my room. Yeah. You did. I'm shy here. I definitely did. Evan came from so many, like, he has so many sisters and, like, a very, you know, powerful mom.

And, like, he was so good with your personality. And I know. He was. He comes to my room and don't ever leave. And also, Evan's, like, you know, he's such a dude, but he's like, where's my blouse? You know, like, he's also, like, such a, you know. Well, I mean, the shoes he picked out clearly. He's very good.

He knows. His mom, yeah. I mean, he's got impeccable taste. That is good. Are you sweating? I'm really hot. I know. Sorry, it's hot.

We haven't had to put it on the heat earlier because we're little... Granny's. Every morning. I'm like, heater. It's so cold. I just felt like such a fun, like ketchup. This is bad. I know.

I feel like there's more to be had. I know. We need part two. Yeah, part two. Yeah. For sure. There's so much more. For sure.

I'm so happy that you were willing, I mean, not willing, but like, Well, yeah, well, well, it's my first one. Yay. I'm sorry. She would let me go share, but sharing with my friends is easy. Yeah, she's very shy to share.

Like, I know. It was so cute because you were like, well, maybe we could talk before. Like, what are we going to talk to? So I know what to talk about. I'm a very private person now, you know. Yeah, of course. And, you know, as a mom and everything.

And being, like, we said, like, being in the limelight, like, for so long. Right. And of course, you're, you're more private, or maybe there's things that you're more reserved about or whatever. But we try to make it, you know, No, you guys are the best. I'm glad I did it.

I know. We're so happy you did it too. And you brought your girls, our girls, all of us. Let's all have dinner. Let's do it. Can we? I want to get the kids together too. Let's do.

I feel like a fun kid. The fact that they're all the same age. Yeah. And they're sweet. Literally have so many kids running around and then you're going to add your students. I know. You can just be in the corner breastfeeding. On the tee.

Yeah. I'm jealous. I see babies and like Breyer's nine. I'm like, I eat a little. Yeah. Do you want? Would you have a thing?

I mean. She would. She would. She would have another one. Well, I don't know. You could. You would. Do it.

Okay. Like, there's some elements we have to work out. Yeah. Yeah. I always say I'm done. Oh, are you done? That's what I wanted to ask you. I always say I'm done.

But that book's not closed. I secretly hope she gets closed. She's also, like, bad at taking birth control. She's, like, not a consistent person. I mean, it's also awful. totally have a fourth, but my brother is four. It is a game changer. Yeah.

Three to four is a lot. Are you done, Lauren? Yeah, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Oh, you're done done. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm just beginning. Yeah. We all do it, everything at our own. Yeah. Yeah. But it's nice because, you know, and you have them that have done it. Oh, my God.

Now we all get to have a baby again. Right. We don't have that. And Jagger's like, I'm the babysitter. We had her baby shower at my house recently, and Jagger was like, I need to be there because I'm the babysitter. That's so cute. Very seriously. Yeah.

My brother and my sister-in-law had a – she's seven months now. But, like, that's why I have a baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I can't look at the babies because they make me want a baby. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's not your own. It's like they're just blobs, you know. Yeah, but once you've never had one. Once you've gone through. And then once you're out of it, you're like, you're like, I miss that. I miss it. Like so much. I just watch old videos of Briar.

Like, I know. There's, it goes fast. There's this, I remember the moment when I first got Elliot on my boob and it's like,

he latched and then just started bobbing with his dad. And I was like, if there is a god, this is it. This is it. Like this is, it's like the key to the universe.

It is just like, I've heard that about breastfeeding. That when it works, it's like there's nothing like it. Right. But if it doesn't, it's okay too. If it doesn't,

it doesn't. You know, because you don't want that, if you put that... No, yeah, right. But I believe the same for, like, giving birth. I don't know if you guys ever felt this way, but I would feel like every time I would give birth, the lights in that hospital room would change,

and you could just, like, feel God. It was like this, like, imagine. Did you feel that? That's the epidural. No. It's only God, okay? I told you God is God. It was also God.

But I did have that thought. I remember, like, and I saw the mountains of the window and the light, and I was like, I could give birth every single day. Yeah. I remember you sent me a picture of, oh, I still have it. You said, oh, it makes me want to cry.

I was high on my morphine. And just had Elliot, just had that nursing moment. And you sent me a picture of the sunset of the day he was born. You're like, here's the sun. That's sweet. I'll do that for you. Yeah. You're like, this is the sunset on the day.

Elliot was born. That's really sweet. That's really sweet. That's really sweet. I know. Oh, my God. I haven't gotten so deep. So deep.

Yeah. It's a really special experience. Well, the sunset up here is probably really beautiful, too. I'm sure it was, like, incredible. Maybe you could send one to Stephanie. Yeah. On the day her baby is born. I'm, Seth.

Yeah. I'll get you up. You will get a picture. The baby's warm. Where's my fucking sunset? My first time was like, God, you're in my sunset. We will do that. Oh, best friends are the best.

Yeah. We got me. You really got me. Rob. Rob is sick. Yeah, I'm sick. What's wrong? What ails you?

It's like a flu, I think. They told me I'm negative for flu. But... What? It's not COVID, not positive for flu or pneumonia. Or RSV? They didn't test me for RSV. But isn't there, like...

There are many strands of the flu, right? Yeah. They gave me flu medication. Okay. I said if I've had a high fever for like three days. Kind of a shockingly high fever for an adult. Right? 103?

That's high. Do you still have it today? I didn't take it this morning, but I don't think so. I had just taken a hot shower. So maybe that contributed and it was a forehead temperature check. When they took it at the urgent care, it was only 101.8. Are the rest of the troops, the household is okay? They're fine.

Yeah, not sick yet. How'd you get sick? Hell if I know. I went to a boy genius show that was indoors in close proximity, like 250 people in a little club. Yeah. Let me ask you, do you carry hand sanitizer with you? Natalie does Was she with you at the show?

She was. And do you break it out often? I wasn't touching things so I didn't really need to Well I think I've talked about this before because like I read something And it's actually washing hands Not hand sanitizer

But I would have to imagine if you're like You know excessively hand sanitizing Hand sanitizing Oh me I'm just hand sanitizing that might have the same effect, but it was something like 35% less likely to catch a respiratory illness if you wash your hands at least five times a day.

I'm not a doctor, don't quote me on it, but it was something like that. But you also couldn't use the bathroom at this venue. Was it a porta potty? No, it wasn't a porta potty. It's a really old venue called The Smell. And they normally, like, they sold out the Hollywood Bowl. They're normally playing.

like arenas and they did this secret LA show and there was only there was like two of the most disgusting bathrooms I think I've ever seen and anytime anyone used it during the show you it was like an acoustic show you could hear the pipes just hissing for like 30 seconds as loud as the band so you couldn't really use the bathroom are you a big fan of their work yeah It's Phoebe Bridger. It's Boy Genius. It's Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dachis, Julia Baker.

Of course. So you... They just won three Grammys. I know who they are. That's pretty rad. I get it. I just didn't know if you specifically just went because you go to shows or if you were actual... Or is it more like Natalie's?

We both. You both like them on. Yeah, no. They're rad. I want to get back to like public bathrooms because I feel like this is important. Yeah. If it is like a porta-potty situation and you have to go really bad, do you just hold it or will you use the porta-potty? I think it's different for me.

I can use a port-a-potty, it's fine. Because I'm just standing and peeing into a, they usually have like a side. Let me tell you why that's not fine. Let me tell you why that's not fine if you're standing and peeing in a porta-potty like that. You have to face the pit of despair. No, no, no, no. There's usually a pee bucket thing. No, I'm talking, I'm talking just one whole toilet seat port-a-potty situation.

I'm not talking the fancier version with a separate urinal. I'm talking just the potty. I don't think of a fancy version. I don't know. That's a fancy version. It's an upgrade. It's an upgrade if you have a urinal as well. You know what I'm talking about.

I'm getting disgusted right now. Yeah, it's disgusting. Oh, my God. Speaking of disgusting. You have no idea what I freaking walked in the bathroom too last night. Do tell. Shepard was like, I pooped in the potty. And I came in and he pooped on the body, on the floor, in the sink and on the walls.

Excuse me? And I was like, how did you do that? Wait, what do you mean? And he was going candy because he gets a candy and he poops on the body. Anyways, carry on. It was really fucked up. Like, I was like, this is the worst. This is like a CSI crime scene.

It was horrendous. What if you're like, it was Jeff. And Jeff's like, candy. I think Vincent's been doing this thing where when he poops, he goes and squats under the table and you can just hear him like running. They have their little things. You know, I know you want to talk about the porta potty more, but I want to talk about what is that need for privacy?

Because it's so interesting. Like Elliot was going to... Even in their diaper? Yeah, even in... And Elliot was going in the bathroom. He's like, don't look at me. It's like there's something so private and vulnerable about it. But even a baby will like go hide when they go to the bathroom.

Like, what is that? Calvin doesn't have that. He like, pooped the door open. He's like, come talk to me. Pretty much. He's sitting there just like chatting. I think it's probably personal. What do you mean?

No, I'd be like individualized. What do you think? I think it's like an innate thing that they, like you kind of crave privacy. Like kids will go in the corner or, you know. Well, do you think it's a like shame thing? I think it's definitely something written in our DNA. It's not taught.

You know? My friend sent me a picture the other day. She's like, this is what I'm dealing with while I'm trying to poop. And it was like, the dog basically head on her lap, both of her kids holding hands right there trying to talk to her, like all at the same time. And I'm like, it's very common, especially with parents. find. Oh, yeah. The kids are like, no, you can never go to the bathroom in peace. The minute my

pants drop, the door opens. No matter what, if I'm changing. I can't take it in many ways. No matter what reason my pants are dropping for, someone's trying to get in the room. I'm like, is there a bell that goes off in the house? Do you not lock the bathroom when you use it? I can't lock. I mean, you lock the bathroom when you use it? Yeah. Huh. No. That doesn't even cross my mind. I often, well, especially peeing. You don't even close the door. Oh, I don't close the door pee.

No. I'm sometimes not close the door peeing. But 100% locked if it's not pee. If you're going number two? Yeah. Briar and I were like at a public, kind of like an arcade, but like a Dave and Busters type place, right? And you leave the stall door open when you publicly. We went into a family bathroom, but it was like something I had never seen.

Like you had to like wave to close it, whatever. And it says it locks, right? And so Breyer goes pee and then it's my turn and I'm peeing and I'm sitting there. He was not locked. This big, this large older man opened the door wide and I was sitting there peeing. Briar's washing her hands. And I was like, hello. And I made a joke because Breyer was watching a show where they do like, when they get uncomfortable,

they do jazz hands. So I did that for Breyer. And I was like, I'm in here. She got a kick out of it. So we kept reenacting it. And it was like her favorite thing. She was like, Mom, remember when the guy opened the door and you did the sarcastic, uncomfortable jazz hands?

Oh, she called them the sarcastic uncomfortable jazz hands? I forget the term of something. Yes, but whatever it is, she used that. And so now we do it sometimes. And we're like, oh, I'm uncomfortable. Okay. Okay. I'm done.

I think I'm uncomfortable. Every time you guys and like the guests don't know, we'll just be like, no. Every time we talk. to Rob. You know what's a weird thing? You know what's weird that it just got to? Like yesterday. Oh, God, it's moated.

You moated is. What? Elliot seems to be reacting now when I change in front of him. And I said, are you too old for me to change in front of now? Like, when does that happen? And he's like, it happened. He's like, yeah, don't change in front of me anymore. So then I was changing the other day and he walked in.

He's like, I told you not to change in front of me. anymore. I'm like, you stop walking in my bedroom. Yeah. But I can't believe we're there. That's a thing. That's a thing. I was thinking. Well, I think it's, it happens when there's, I think, different genders. I'm sure that's going to be Briard. No, we shower.

She's like, we, you know, we'll shout, whatever. But I did have that thought. Like, does it cross their mind? Or like, when does that stop? Yeah. Yeah. You guys are going to be like, she's going to be 18. You're going to be 15.

You're going to be taking showers together. Yeah. I think probably. Probably for her when she's... I don't know, though, when it's the same sex, I do wonder. Because, like, we're very open, and I'm always like, you know, mommy's on her period. You know, like, we're very...

I'm like that with my kids, too. They were pointing at the river outside saying, that's your flow. I think it about them the family. I mean, I've known someone that, like, him and his parents and siblings still, like, hot tub naked together. That's... Like, how old? Weird.

Oh, sorry. He's a grown adult and they're like... Is he not from... Is it Casper? No, they're from here. Oh, I know. I know. Is it Casper? Wait. I'm sorry. They're from here.

Yeah. They're like Orange County guy. Huh. I mean, I always thought it was weird. But, you know, if the family's very open with that and nudity is like not a thing, then right? His, like, parents still live down the street from him. I think his wife finds it weird. Could she not participate?

I don't think she participates now. Can we call them? I know. I have questions. I just think that's a little different. But there's people that grow up in, like, you know, nudist colonies and stuff like that. It's just a little different.

I feel like if it's not a thing, it's not a thing. And, you know, what? I don't think that once... she goes through puberty, she's going to be showering with you. I don't think that's going to happen. No. Like, that's that, you imagine you showering with your mom? Yeah.

Now? Yeah. Now? That's just weird. I'm just going through puberty now. If it was another, if it was like Germany, though, I don't think it would be considered as weird. And I'm not even saying it is weird, but it's weird. You know what I mean?

Like culturally, it's not the norm. It's abnormal. I think, I do think that it. here, like in the United States, right? Like, I do feel like we're way more conservative with that stuff. Obviously, this is obvious, you know, in like Europe and whatnot. And I actually side more with the European mindset, you know, like, it shouldn't be like such a thing. I agree.

I mean, I'm not going to be walking around naked or something. Like, you know, we're doing the next podcast top list. So I hope everyone's comfortable with that. Let's invite Alison Brie. Oh, she's down. Yeah. But I don't think there's anything. Like, yeah, in different cultures, it's like totally normal to be naked. It's just a little bit different here.

It is. I mean, I grew up, my parents were always naked. Walking around the house? I saw my parents naked all the time. I feel like, yeah. I also grew up with two hippies. Right. You know?

Yeah. No, I grew up in a very comfortable household, you know? Rob. Rob. Never seen his mommy's movies After, I mean it was like Elliot, I think after a certain age It was like, stop I think she, I mean she wasn't like

parading around with it I can't imagine Jana parading around Yeah, naked She's visiting next week You guys want to come see her Oh yeah, we should have her on Yeah, I don't know about that Aw

Yeah, let's embarrass Rob Don't listen He's so annoyed at our jazz hands You're only doing one hand too Because you won't put on your coffee cup And this one's Al Bundy You are Al Bundy Yeah

Yeah Yeah I read recently that he Ed O'Neill said that he almost went Into the mob But then he got married with children or something Did you read that? No, but that's a powerful move he made

Yeah, right? It's a power move Anyway I don't know enough about it To speak further But I did see that headline But you heard that somewhere. No, I saw a headline somewhere.

I'm sure if we Googled it, it would come up. Hey, guys, I got a question from one of our audience members that I think was an interesting topic. Yeah. Can we call them a fan? I said audience member. Could we call them a fan? Rob really wants fans. We got a call from one of our fans.

We got a question from one of Rob's fans. Okay. Good. when you guys were in your 20s, did you date to marry, to find the one, or were you just dating for fun or security? I think my mentality was always,

if I'm getting into something, that's what you picture down the line if you're in love with someone. I don't think that's everyone, though. I think some people in their 20s are just having fun. They're not looking for a long-term partner. That's what I'm saying is,

I had two long-term in my 20s. That was it. So you weren't just having fun and fooling around and just... Right. I was in two long-term relationships. My whole 20s were taken up by relationships, and that was only two people. But then did you ever get to the point where you then regretted that? Like, dang, I should have had fun and just, like, dated around in my 20s because that's when you do that?

No, I think... Yeah, but once you reach, like, a certain age in your 20s, the whole first season. season of Masters of None is kind of about that where like he's going to meet this person and they're just at an age where it's going to lead to marriage or it's not. And if you're just somewhat compatible, then that's probably where it's going to lead. Well, I don't know. It's such a tough thing and it's a tough thing for women, especially women who want to have children, because you only have a certain window, right? So I feel like it really depends on what you're wanting.

And, you know, out of life, your passions, whatever, you really want children. That's probably a different mentality for girls in their 20s. The cool thing, though, is you can freeze your eggs now. Whereas that wasn't on the table for us in our 20s. No, but it's also not on the table for a lot of people because it's expensive.

And, you know, it's a thing. So I don't think that's like a super accessible thing for everybody. Right. I think it's really a case. case thing. Like for me, I went out of a long-term relationship like did a little bit of dating

and did not like that. And then I met Natalie and was like... How old were you when you met Natalie? I met her in high school. No, but when you met her to dating... When I was like 22, 23. Okay, so you're an example. So you're an example of

dating to marry. So for me... Yeah, how old were you when you started dating Jeff? Well, I was 33 when I started dating Jeff, but my whole 20s, I would say I was dating to marry and then also having placeholders, if that makes sense. Like, I always knew I wanted to find my person. I was looking for my person since I got on this earth. I was never like, I'm just going to have fun. I was looking for my person. But in the meantime, if I wasn't with him, there would be someone I would date for fun. Does that make sense?

You're somewhere in between, like, very casual and looking for a long-term monogamous relationship. Yeah, I always, I never, I always wanted a long-term monogamous relationship, but it wasn't always on the table. So if it wasn't on the table, then in the meantime, I'd have fun. So I think you can do both at the same time. Yeah. Yeah, I keep going back and forth because I definitely, if I was dating my 20s, that was the thought behind it. It's like if you're going to put time into somebody like that, or for me, like you're going to see a longer future with them, which would be marriage, right? If you can emotionally handle, like, having fun and in your 20s and not taking things

too seriously, there's nothing wrong with that. But for some people, that doesn't work. It can be really hard and really challenging to do. But I would say just generally speaking, if you're not, like, you should have as much fun as you can in your 20s because looking back, like there's not a ton of responsibilities before kids and what. And maybe you do have kids in your 20s, but I'm talking with the people that, you know, don't and are just dating or whatever. I feel like that's a good time to do whatever you want, travel, all of it. Yeah, I think if I could talk to my 20, like, go back and. talk to that version of myself, I would be like, don't worry. Like, you're going to find your

person, just enjoy these experiences, like have your sex in the city moment. Right. You know, like enjoy it, travel, be young, don't take it all so seriously because I think I hurt myself a lot. By just focusing so hardcore on that and not embracing. Yeah, and not embracing, like, this is just I will say, even though I was in a relationship, I traveled so much. So I still did that pre-kids even in a relationship. Well, for you, Olivia, though, don't you think part of that journey was why you were ready when you met Jeff? Like, without having done all of that, you might have just been like, oh, this is another fling. Yeah, I definitely, by the time I got to him was a thousand percent.

ready. I was like been there like done. So you having the freedom and being able to have your fun prior probably contributed to you being ready when you didn't meet him. Yes, but I would say what contributed

the most wasn't the fun. It was more the kind of pain and loneliness of that experience. You know? Because I was like ready to not feel that way anymore and just like also it was like the alcoholism and all that stuff but you know like I do think that a lot of times like loneliness pain like those kind of things get us ready in different ways than just having fun because it's not always that fun right that's important

to people catch feelings and then you get rejected and then people love you and you don't love them and then you love them, they don't love you, and it's just rough. The 20s are freaking rough for a lot of people. I would not want to revisit 20. Well, I don't, not like I had a bad time. I had a great time in my 20s. I just mean the mindset of like just being older and like looking back like in everything and everything you know.

And then you're like, oh, you didn't know shit, you know? So it's like going back to that and not having the tools and like how to deal with it. and, you know, would be hard. To be honest, though, Rachel, you were pretty level-headed in your 20s. Like, you didn't go through a lot of the ringers that a lot of people did. Those came for me in my 30s. They're here now. Yeah.

No, but it's true. Like, you didn't suffer the way a lot of people suffer in their 20s. You're doing that. No, she did that early in her, like, teenage years. No, she did not. No. No, she didn't. No.

I think some of her biggest life lessons came a little bit later than the 20s. Sure, but she was also, like, pretty wild and unhinged in her teenage years. She was not unhinged. I was not unhinged. I was never, like, a party girl, quote unquote. She was even stable in our party girl atmosphere. Yeah. Like, we would go...

I was the driver. Yeah. She would drive. We would go out. I was a drinker. every freaking night. I am not exaggerating. Like seven nights a week, like I said,

I was like looking for something. And Rachel would stay home some nights. And I would be like, why are you staying home? And you'd be like, I'm going to journal. And like, I'd be like... I'm going to journal? You just stay home and journal. I did not.

On God. And journal? And journal. Just write. Yeah, you would write. You would like stay home. And, like, be like, I'm just going to do this.

And I'd be like, it's so weird, she doesn't want to go to the club. Well, I didn't, I'm not a drinker. I wasn't drinking. But I did like to dance. I would go to the club to dance, literally. I know. What a nerd. What a nerd.

Everyone was like partying. I'm just like, I just want to dance. Yeah, but you saved yourself a lot of pain is what I'm saying. Last thing. Let's do another question. Okay. What? So my boyfriend, a 24-year-old.

You're a 24-year-old boyfriend? I want to meet him. This is a question. My boyfriend, 24-year-old male, and I, a 22-year-old female, have been together about three years, live together, travel, the whole shebang madly in love. I spent two days with my best friend where she lives, and he went and stayed with another friend of his, a guy. Comes home last night and we're hugging, I start to smell latex and smell of semen or something, like super strong. So much so I reached into his pocket. myself and took out a used

full of Jiz condom. Couldn't believe my eyes and instantly went into panic mode. He told me he had a posh wink. He also lies about not masturbating. I catch him all the time for small white lies. Which also makes me think, what do I trust? Nothing.

Really struggling here. I have to do something, but I'm not sure what to do at all. I see him tonight back at home where we live together. What should I do about finding it? Her first three, like trust nothing. And in my mind, I'm like, oh, well, he was probably just jacking off into a condom

and had it in his pocket. Because like, why would he ever bring that in his pocket? Because he didn't want to leave it at his homie's house and he saw it on the floor and was like, oh, fuck, I got to pick that up. Yeah, but he would throw it away. It was obviously like in his car that, because he just like, whatever jacked off in his car into the condom and was like, I got to bring it and throw it away. He wouldn't travel from point A all the way home. Do guys jack off in condoms? If you're in a car? That seems weird, but it also seems weird that he would keep it in his pocket.

Right. My point is keeping it. It's the same thing as like a sock. Don't guys like do it didn't like in their youth like into a sock in the car? Yeah, but I think that's different. Right, Rob? Is that true? I don't, I guess. Yeah. Oh, he's getting some. But why does he have the condom?

I wish, I see I have questions. Shade balls. Do they use condoms when they have, like I have so many, see, I did. he needs to talk to these people. I also think, like, it would have also smelled, like... It was new. It would have smelled like something else, though, if it was not just a masturbating condom. Like, you can tell if...

Like, the condom was... Oh, Rob! Right? Am I right or no? If it smelled... Wait a bit graphic, Rob! If it smelled strong, like, latex and jizz, like, that sounds like maybe it was just him masturbating.

I actually kind of... to believe him. Because I think you would smell, you would smell if it was a condom that had been in a woman. That it's in his pocket. Like it came from the car to the house. Like it didn't go from some girls' house, friend's house, travel with him in the car, in a pocket, into the house. Like, he just brought it in to throw it away. There's something weird.

I mean, it's weird. It's weird. He hides that he, he hides that he masturbates from her as it is. That's what I'm saying. That's shady. Like, why would you need to hide that? around it. They're young.

That's not ordinary. Or that's not unordinary. They're youthful. Well, that's the bigger message is that you shouldn't have to hide if you're masturbating, one. You guys, they're 22 and 24 years old. If there's any 22 and 24-year-olds, they need to hear it. Like, your partner is going to masturbate. Right, Rob?

Right. But into a condom, that's suss. It's not, though. if you're in the car and you're hiding it, right? Yeah, I don't. I mean, it's weird. It's definitely weird. It's weird.

And I don't know because I do not have a penis. I don't know how it works. I'm just... It's weird, but I don't think it's any weirder than... I don't think it's any weirder than him pocketing a used condom that he used with another woman. I mean, that's a thing, you know. What? Like, I know people that have made their partner, like...

Like, they've smell checked them. It's a thing. Yeah. I mean, if she smelled so strongly from his pocket. Smell check their weiner? Yeah. If she smelled that strongly from his pocket, I think she would have detected another smell if it wasn't just himself.

Like, the latex and the semen was that strong. She should go into work for the FBI. She's got a good nose. Yeah. I think that's the takeaway from this. Let me ask you, Rob, because you're more familiar with semen from a man. Does it lose its potency after a while? Oh, was it brush?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We had this debate on an episode of flightless bird this week. There's trees around the country that smell like semen apparently. You know about these? I have never smelled that. I haven't smelled that. I don't. Not that I know what that smells like, but I have.

I don't have like a strong sense of what semen smells like, so I don't think I'm the right person to ask. It doesn't have that strong. of an odor, I don't feel like, to be in the pocket. Do you think it does? This is all really disgusting. Here's the question. She obviously doesn't trust him, and there's a reason, because where there's smoke,

there's fire. Well, he already hides, then he masturbates from her, so that's where it's coming from, right? No, Rachel. Well, yeah, that's what she said. Distrust comes to. No, the distrust is coming from her gut, and he's valid. It's not meditating it with the lying. Oh.

You know what I mean? I believe, I do believe this, that most people have a really strong intuition, and then they get talked out of it, and they get rationalized out of it. But that feeling inside that you're like, there's something I don't trust. I would say 90% of the time,

there's a reason you feel like that, period. I would agree. And then you go looking for reasons, like semen in the pocket, you know? I think it's because he's hiding, that he's masturbating, he's ashamed of it. No, you guys. No.

There is, and that is something he's lying about and something that he is, has shame about. And, I mean, maybe she needs to just talk to him about that, about, like, I don't care that you do this. I care more that you're lying to me about this. But there's a reason she feels discord

because if she knew it was just like, oh, he's lying that he masturbates. Well, but that's what she said. She's caught him lying about that. And that's why... If you're lying about that, you're probably lying about other things. I don't fully agree with that.

Oh, so are there things you're lying about that... No, I just think that is like a very loaded thing that, like, men can carry shame about. I agree. But I think that there's probably something in there that maybe they're not being honest with themselves. Maybe that there's something that they don't trust about that person beforehand. Sure, but you're making assumptions at that point.

All I'm saying is I think he could be lying about that to her and not lie about everything else to her. I'm not saying he's lying about everything else, but I do think... Kind of. No, I do think that when you feel like someone's lying to you and you feel like you can't trust them, regardless of the original fracture in that situation, that your intuition is probably right.

That's why you go looking to see if they're lying about things, because you know that they are. If you ever gone looking for things and then been validated that you were right? I think we all have. Yeah. Yeah, but you've also been, like, paranoid about things that ended up not being true, right? Nope.

Never. Nope. Never. I would have very strong intuitions over here. I don't know. I just think you can't give too much power. If you're like a nervous person that worries and... I said intuition.

There's a difference between instinct and intuition. Intuition is a gut feeling that will never speak through fear's voice. It's unknowing. I have this feeling. That's your intuition. Your instincts will lie to you and say a bunch of fearful shit. That's not the same as intuition. If you have an intuition about something, chances are there's a reason.

Are you willing to accept an explanation that it's something different than what you think? Absolutely. Just validate the fact that I know there's discord. Sure. Because that's what I mean. Yeah, that's mostly what I'm rushing up against. I don't, like, I think you can be wrong, but it could be triggered because of something else. That's happening.

1,000%. You can circumstantially be wrong, but when you have that knowing, there's a reason that that's happening. And if you are in tune with that and you can listen to that and not be talked out of it, there's probably a reason. That's not the same as having irrational instincts that lead you down crazy making. Does that make sense? It could be completely wrong. It could be like, well, I didn't tell you that really my grandma's sick and I've been in... Like, it could be anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you knew there was something. I agree with that that you can, you should follow that, but you, yeah. Yeah, I'm not saying, if it go snooping and whatever, I would go, like, for instance, like, if I had that feeling in my relationship, that doesn't mean go start checking his phone. Go check his emails. Check his clothes. Like, it would mean what I would have to get more clear with my. of like, what is this that I'm feeling?

What do I need to face? Right? Because once you start snooping and going through there, you're just externally trying to deal with something you know inside. Right. Right. So I mean just going back to then this question, I think if he's lying about masturbating,

that doesn't mean he's then lying about everything else in their relationship. No, not everything else, but there's probably something to that. Yeah, yeah. And I think, and that's what I'm saying. she should address that and have a conversation with him around that specific thing and tell him that like because of this I am losing trust for you. Absolutely. And I need you to be honest about this.

You've been caught multiple times lying to me about this. This just goes back to the 20s and dating. I just feel like you don't have the tools. We're giving them the tools. Yeah, I know. I'm saying. So you're guiding them. I hope they listen.

But also then you have to look at your behavior and be like, have I provided a safe space for him to feel like he can be honest with me? Or do I react? Do I get jealous? Do I make him feel like it's wrong? Yeah, she is. I forgot to read. She is a nun and she's against masturbation. She shames him every time he does it. Are you joking? Yes, he's joking. Well, she wouldn't be in a relationship if she was a nun. It was the old brain again. Detective Rachel on the case. So Rachel thought you were serious about coming here today even though you had 103 fever yesterday.

Were you? No, I wasn't serious. I didn't think so. Oh, I was like he was serious. I was not serious. Well, you never know with you. All right, I think we've done, did it. Yep.

That's it for this week. That's it for this week. See you next week. Bye. That was a headgum podcast.