Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Audrina Patridge on Fentanyl, Single Mom Dating, and Bling Ring Robbery

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

Audrina Patridge talks with Rachel and Olivia about the terrible loss of her niece, processing the grief with her daughter, and the fentanyl-lacing epidemic. They also discuss what it’s like dating with a child, and Rachel and Audrina share “Bling Ring”-stories.Broad Ideas is supported by Vegamour. For a limited time get 20% off your first subscription order by going to vegamour.com/ideas and using code IDEAS at check out.Broad Ideas is supported by Quince. Go to Quince.com/ideas for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Broad Ideas is supported by Sundays for Dogs. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to sundaysfordogs.com/IDEAS or use code IDEAS at checkout.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Hello, people. Hello, Rachel. Hi. Today, you guys, we have the lovely, beautiful Audrina Patridge. You may know her from the hills, dancing with the stars. She's a mother, model, beautiful lady. She's here with us today. So let's just get into it, so I stop talking.

Please. little brain. All these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside. To join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys better me. Because people die.

We're so happy you're here. Thank you. We've been trying to make this happen. For so long. Yeah. But we're happy it's finally happening. Me too. You were just the sweetest ever.

I was telling Olivia, I was so happy for her to meet you. Oh, I know. So you guys are best friends. Yes. Okay. Yeah. From how long? Way back one.

A very long time. How long? I know. Like sisters, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like beyond.

That's the best. Yeah. Do you have that? I do. You do? Yes. Like, I feel like, as you know in the industry, like, everyone wants to be your friend, but then it's like, well, you're not really my friend. And then you have your core circle that you've known forever that you can always go back to.

So my friend Kendra, we've known since high school. She's like a sister. And then I have a big family. So my cousins and my sisters, like, they're like my besties. Yeah. Have you made a lot of friends, like, through the process, through the hills, through it? We're kind of forced into friendships there, right? It's so interesting.

It's crazy that we were, you know, whenever we were filming together, it's like you have this bond that no one else really understands because you're going through all these things that you can't talk to anyone else about. No one really gets. And so we did become close when we were filming the show. And then, but whenever we go back to our real lives, nobody really talks or will touch base. Interesting. Interesting.

So, like, I never really developed a friendship that of anyone that I can confide in or that was consistent outside of the show. I think Lauren and I had that for a minute, like, in the very beginning. Right. And then life just happens and drama. And it's like you just don't know who to believe or who you can really trust. And you just, like, are guarded and just pull back and go to your core friends that you know for, that will be there for life. We were just talking about that yesterday. We were?

Yes. We were talking about being guarded. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And that is something that happens when people want to be your friend and you don't really know why do they want to be my friend or what are they going to say or what? That's what I've learned living in L.A. and my 20s and going out. Like I had so many people that were just like instant friends and I'm like, why did they keep? they're so, like, persistent and they're just like, they kind of latch on.

You're like, okay, well, I don't want to go alone anyways. So, yeah, come and bring your friends. And then it just kind of, they kind of use you to get to where they want to be or climb the ladder. Use you to go through and get to somebody else, basically. And then once they're done with you, it's like, bye. Oof. So, yeah, I've been through that many times. Rachel never.

What? You never went outside your circle. No, not really. It's interesting. Yeah. Because I just always, like, brought them with me. Yeah. So they've protected you. Yeah. And, of course, I've made friends from work and stuff. And I've had some really nice relationships and, like, mom friends and all of that. Because I think that comes with having kids. Yeah, with your kids going to school. Yeah. Yeah. It's so much.

How old is your daughter now? Seven. Seven and a half. She's second grade. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I've met some really nice moms from her school. and just the community there. It's a private school, so it's very intimate. It's nice to have that. I feel like she's in a very safe place that I trust. So, yeah, but even, you know, and how old is your daughter?

Nine. Nine. Okay. So, Kira's starting to go through that phase where girls are kind of like almost, not the bully phase, but just the catty phase, like the clicky phase. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. At seven years old, it's like.

It did start because. Breyer was like seven. Yeah. And I don't remember it being that young. Meaning. And we talk about it all the time. And it's so clicky. You're like, I want the time.

No, you're my best friend now. And you're, you know, like all these. You can't play with us today. Better luck next time. And then Kira feels left out and cry. Oh, does it not? It like breaks your heart. You're like, wait a second.

You know, it's the weirdest thing. And I don't know what it is. And I don't know why it's younger. Why is it young? Because I feel like it was like, what, sixth grade for us or something like that? Yeah, I feel like, yeah, like that makes sense when you were more like, you know. Yep, like 11, 12. When you're like having crushes and it's like.

Yeah. These girls are already talking about crushes and. I know. Right? You too? Yes. I'm just like, is it what they're watching? I don't know.

And I'm pretty good with watching what Kira does. Like she is on Roblox. Yeah. Yeah. I have all the settings on where she can't talk to strangers. Right. Just can't talk to her. She has only her like group of friends that are.

cousins and best friends only. Right. That's it. So I'm very aware. But I don't know. Where did they learn this? Or it's just like... I don't know.

And I know. I think it's just everything's happening younger and younger now because they're exposed to more whether it's at school, whether it's even on the shows. Like, if you watch the shows we watched when we were young, that was all going on. It was just going over our head. You think? Very true. Yeah.

I remember. I used to love, like, I've loved music since I was little and working out a record label, two record labels. Like, it's just in my blood and I see it in Kira. But growing up, my mom would always be like, what did you just say? And I'd be singing these words. Oh, and not aware. Yes.

Like, I remember one time it was the Green Day, one of the songs about, like, masturbation or something like that. Right. I knew every single word. But I had no idea what any of it meant. I would just sing it at the time. top of my lungs. Yeah. And my mom would be like,

what are you listening to? Oh no, shut this off. I'm like, but I like it. Yeah, I used to do. I want your sex by George Michael. Literally. But that's like, I know what's going over Briars had like,

she's a huge Swifty. Are you guys, is. We like Taylor Swift. Okay. But yeah, Kira's not as Swifty. She's still younger.

Yeah. And so, you know, there's like, your love is the drug I've been using for the rest of my life or something. There's like a lyric in it, right? She has no idea what it means. And I remember her.

her dad hearing it and being like, what is she listening to? I just sit. I got excited. What is she listening to? And I was like, but she's not aware. Yeah. But I understand what you're saying, you know, because they are the lyrics and these songs. Yes.

But they don't understand it. No. And if you don't explain it, probably better at this point. But crush you start early. My son had a crush since kindergarten. Sykira too. Yeah. And then she would tell her friend, her best friend,

and then the best friend would tell all the girls, and then the crush would find out, and then she'd feel like, why did she tell them? And I'm like, it's starting already. Well, here's a lesson. Don't tell anyone you don't want anyone to know because they are always going to tell someone, and that someone will tell someone else. That's right. Be careful.

Oh, my God, the life lesson starts so early. Yeah. My son told the girl himself. What do you mean? He told his crush. They had a crush on her. And I was like, that's good. Aggie?

That is. What made you do that? And he was like, I just needed to get it off my back. And I was like, okay. And he's like, I don't have a crush on her anymore. And I was like, stop it. He's like, I think I just needed to get that off of my back. It does start early.

Yeah. Yeah, I was like, oh, you're like the guy that's like, I have a crush on you. And then the minute she knows and is like, I do two, you're like, I'm done. So how old is your son? He's eight. Okay. Yeah. So they're all like seven, eight and nine.

Yeah. Exactly. It's like she's friends with a lot of the boys in our class because she has a lot of boy cousins. So she knows all the Fortnite talk and robots, like all that stuff. And so when she's not playing with the girls, she'll play with the boys. So she's not intimidated by that, which I love. Because I think when I was growing up, I was kind of more shy of the boys and I was more of a girl's girl. Like always with the girls.

Same. Yeah. Well, yeah. I think so. But I would play sports. You're a little of a boat. I'm a little a boat? You are a little book.

You know how sometimes you can act like a... A dude? A dude. Like, I'm saying I act like a dude. You're sometimes really attractive. It's a good balance. Yeah, no, and I see that in my daughter, too. You know, like, she'll definitely gravitate towards more...

I can't say, like, boy, you know... I can't even... Well, that's like my daughter's just... Don't worry. Oh, my God, that's awesome. Yeah. And then she's all that. also does cheer and gymnastics. Right. It's just a balance. Yeah, it's a balance. I know. So you guys,

you guys are on your own, right? Yeah, it's just her and I. That's, yeah, I'm in her. Yeah, it's very similar. Yeah. Do you love it? I do love it, which honestly, it makes dating hard because it's like, is this guy really worth leaving her for a few hours and driving to L.A.? Like, you know. Right. I don't know. It's like, it's hard. It's hard. And then ever since, My niece died a year ago. Yeah. So every time I leave, even when I dropped Kira at school, she has, like, what if you don't come back?

What if you don't come back? Oh, my God. So every day when I drop her at school, it's like a kiss on the lips, I kiss on the head, and a hug. And like, we have to do that every single day. And if we don't do it, like, she cries at school. So how did you talk to her about that? Because I'm always curious, you know, because kids have a handbooked.

I just, you know, at Chalk Hospital, they had a lady in the hospital. hospital when Sadie was upstairs. And she came down because there's eight cousins that looked up to her and let she bought. Was she the oldest? Yeah. And so they had a lot of questions. They didn't understand. And so they kind of took all the kids to the room and gave them toys to play and things to color with and read them a book about what was going on and kind of explained it to them. Kira kind of knew a little bit because she goes to a private Christian school. So her teacher and the pastor went to the class and kind of talked about death and what happens when you die and all the little kids had so many questions and so it opened a lot of doors to like just to answer all those questions

and so I'm grateful for that she had that support and I just I was trying to be honest but vague you know like I don't want her to be scared but now it's kind of like that trauma of what if you don't come back or now we're realizing that people can go and not come back physically. And what a concept. So she would have been six, right? Yeah, she was six.

And with Sadie, it's just she was 14, 15. And I think now for us parents we're all going through something that no one's ever went through before, which is social media, which affects mental, you know, mental ill. illness and especially Snapchat, like all the teenagers now. I don't know about you, but when I was in high school, we would meet at In-N-Out and just be like, that's where we would follow the

person to the party. Like Friday night, 7 o'clock, meet at In-N-Out. And we'll drive. Yeah. Now, you know, I remember talking to Sade and she's like, no auntie, no one texts. Like, everybody's on Snapchat. And so, you know, now there's plugs, they call them. They're not dealers, but they're plugs that are predators that prey on these high school kids and give them these menus. And I've talked to so many parents that have kids that have died of this fentanyl where the one daughter was going to college. And from Snapchat, there was a plug that had a menu that she trusted through other friends. And she got Adderall to stay up and study. And she died. Another kid died of get from Snapchat again on the menu getting weed gummies that were laced before we went to a party.

No. So it's everywhere and I feel like that generation is being targeted. They are. They are. Well, you keep hearing these stories. And twisted and brightening. Yeah. Yeah.

And all it takes, it's like minutes and you're just dead, like brain dead. You're gone. And I think these kids don't understand. and I've seen this documentary about these high school kids, and they're just like, no, we don't want a beer. Like, that's boring. We want something that makes us feel. We want to feel something.

And it's like, what happened to having a corona and, like, trying to read for the first time? You're like, yeah, the basics. Yeah, but I mean, there's so many different stories that I've read and I've just been reaching out to other parents. And, you know, my sister's healing still. I mean, yeah. Was that her for the rest of her life?

Did she have to her kids? Yeah, she has two boys, so she's kind of focusing on them and they took it hard. It's just the process is really hard. And I think a lot of people who are not affected by that, it's like not a big deal to them until someone close to them goes through it. Of course. That's exactly what it is. It's like one of those things. And I can relate in a sense because the way my dad died was something that you only think happens on the news.

Yeah. Right. And once that comes into your home and you're like, oh, that's not just out there. That's not this like boogie monster that just happens to other people, that these things are real. Everybody's life changes from that. But I think that there's such like an ignorance to the fact that it could be you. It's the same with suicide. Like people are like, oh, I know people do that. But until it comes into, your home or until your life, nobody can comprehend that. Yeah. And it's real.

I know. And kids, too, like when we were young, they were like, oh, be careful. Like, don't do drugs. Like, you can stay a vegetable or whatever. And we still did it. Yeah. I mean, I will speak for myself. I still did it.

Yeah. You know. And just, every, you're going to experiment here and there, but it's like even kids that are wanting to study or they get on cracks or whatever. Like, they need it for pain. It's like, it's almost my sister and I were talking about this concept that you teach your kids at a young age, like don't take candy from strangers. Right. It's like the same thing.

Don't take pills or drugs or anything from strangers or even friends. They may have gotten it from a stranger. You know what I think? Yeah. Has that. And then is there like the Snapchat element to it where everything disappears? Yeah. There's no tracing.

There's no tracing. Like everything disappears. So I know. on the news last week there was a big like a like Snapchat I think all the meta people like Twitter they were all

having I don't know what it was exactly I watched some of it but it's just all these parents and people that are just saying like you have to like help us like help the future these kids are it's just social media is making them depressed or not feel good enough

with all the filters and it's just inevitable and it's not there. It's not Snapchat's or social media's fault entirely. It's also like, it's no one's fault. It's just life and how life is progressing right now. And just no one's ever dealt with this before. We don't know who to blame or how to save our kids or what to do to make changes. Right. It's brainwashing. Yeah. You know, it's like everything in our life is through our filter, right? Like, everything we experience is because of what we've seen and what we've been programmed with. And they're being programmed to think that everybody else's life is better than theirs

or that things are safe that aren't. It's just like they're just being programmed. Like I see it even with my eight-year-old when he wants to go on like YouTube and he wants to be a YouTuber now. Oh yeah. And then my little one who's only, he's only, he's five. He's five. he was watching something and they, you know what they do? I mean, I saw this video the other day. They take cartoons that he likes,

like of characters that he likes, but then they had it like injecting something into their neck. What? Yes. So they take these things. They're targeting children, right? Because they know what kind of things kids look at

and they take those characters that are like, oh, and like catch your attention. And then they have them like, taking like big syringes. No. Yeah. What? Was this on YouTube kids?

I don't know. He might have figured out how to get off of YouTube kids. But still, I'm like, there's, yeah, we've taken it away. It's all over. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. I know. Yeah.

I mean, even on the normal YouTube, when we put it up on the smart TV, like just the little videos that are popular that pop up. Oh, right. There's scary ones that are like demons and, like, scary things. And it's like, Kira, you don't want to watch this. this stuff because it's going to stay in your mind. Oh, yeah. And you'll have nightmares. Nightmares. Don't even look at it. No. I, for some reason, my daughter's, like, not really interested in Googling or YouTube or whatever, which is a blessing. I know. But I know if she's

with her friends, like, they'll be doing it. But it's just like, what tools do we give them? Like, what can we do to protect them when you're not either with them or aware, right, of, like, what they're exposed to. I know. I wish. I feel like this is something we all kind of have to figure out. Yeah. Yeah. It is a different time, though. You're right. Yeah. And just even having people go and speak at schools to the kids about it. I know at Kira's school, they have like an online internet class for all the parents to go and learn how to protect your kids and what things to look for and how to go into the security and what to block. Right. But again, you can only protect them so much. I know. I know. I know. Broad Ideas is supported by Vegamore. Real change happens when you are concerned.

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used to talking about it. But yeah, you know, I'm better now. I think last year when it happened, I I just let myself go. I didn't really care about working out or staying on top of my health or it was just a lot of healing and processing and just trying to be there for my family.

Yeah. And the oldest. So, you know, I was there for my sister. She lived with me for a few months after and I helped with the kids. and then just with my mom and my, like everyone, I was just like helping everyone. And that helped me staying busy. But then there are moments where, you know, I don't want Kira to just see me crying.

So like my crying time was in the shower. So I just like get it out in the shower. Like feel in the shower. And then just therapy. And I'm just going to church. And I really dove back into all of the small group stuff and devotional. daily devotional stuff and just trying to be more positive about it. Yeah, it's tough.

And I think everybody heals differently if that helps them. For sure. Yeah, I just feel like it really affected me in a way where last year was just bad all around in so many ways. So I'm glad that now it's a new year, a fresh start. But, you know, with Sadie being gone, it's like we don't, we still celebrate her. We still go to the cemetery. and spring flowers all the time and talk about stories with her.

And my sister had some of her books she gave to Cicera and like some of the girls. And just we're not just going to forget about her because she's not here physically. Yeah. It's like celebrating her life like all the time kind of. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I just think, you know, it's every parent's like your worst nightmare. Like that's.

Yeah. I think, oh, fine. I know. I know. It is. And we talk about it all the time. I constantly go to worst case, you know, with my kid. Yeah. And like, oh, well, you see them again.

I don't know. But it is everything that's out there and the news and the experiences, but like you were saying before, but when it touches you personally, like I can't even. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. So now it's really just moving forward and the timing of it is just bringing awareness and making people. Yeah.

And advocates. Yeah. Yeah. It's everywhere. And not even that. It's just mental illness. Just being a part of your kid's lives and seeing. what they're up to and just like my sister and I were saying, like on Roblox, learn how to play it,

see what they're doing, what they're talking about, have something in common with them. Have you done that? I'm like, I have. Yes. You have? I know, Roblox. I'm like, I don't even know. It's kind of fun.

I remember on the hills a while ago, like forever ago, the first round of the hills. We would have these avatars and like we'd be in LaDue at the club. Oh my God. Are you kidding? Wait, it was a video game of the hills? It's not a video game, but it's almost like a metaverse thing. Yeah, wow. But we would go in the room and all these fans would sign up and they can go into the club

and dance with our avatar and ask us questions. It's hilarious. It's kind of like that, but like you build houses and you can go to a school or you could type in like mermaid or you know, you'd like. You're a mermaid under the ocean going to these different places. And it's just an out-of-this-this-world experience. It's so weird. There's one game that Breyer plays on Roblox, which is like, it's either called fashion-famous or fashion-fabulous,

and I like get into it. So I'm like, what are you going to pick now? Like, you have to dress like a certain character and you go in the room and you pick out your stuff. And I'm like, this is really fun. Well, that's what, Kira's character has to, it changes every time. And if her friends copy, her outfit or hair, she's like, don't look like my eye. Like, get your own personality. Wait, so that's a thing, too, right?

Like, you're happening. Yes. And I'm trying to be like, it's the highest form of flattery. That's what I say. Right? Yeah. But they're like, no. Like, yeah.

I don't want, like, this is my thing and I want to be unique. And, you know. And that's when they start to form their identity. So that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Because they really get upset about it. You do? No, they do.

They do. Oh, I thought you said, no, not me get upset about it. You're like, no. No, but I'm like you where I'm kind of like, that's kind of a good thing. That means that you're a trendsetter. Whenever you get older, that means you could either design your own clothes or your own product and people are going to think it's cool because you have your creative and you have good taste. Yeah.

So this is a good thing. Right. Right. That's what I try to say too, because it's like, wouldn't you rather have your kid be the one that has the original thoughts? Yes. Right. I mean, not like, not like. Being the leader and not, yes.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just, it's so interesting. And Kira is very opinionated and she knows what she likes. That's great. I want her to keep that strong personality because she's going to need it in the future. Yeah. I remember growing up, my mom was such a big personality and loved to talk and she would almost talk for us. But I was really quiet because I was like, oh, well, my mom, I don't have to say anything. Right. Yeah, but with Kira, I'm like trying to teach her, like, you need to use your voice. God gave you a voice. And if you don't use it, people aren't going to know how you feel.

Yeah. No, that's the biggest thing is being able to talk, you know, and advocate for yourself. Like, that's the, and especially with our little girls, you know. I mean, boys too, of course. Yeah, boys do you know. Everyone has to. How is it for the dating life for you? Oh, like with your daughter.

Like, is it hard? Wait, that's so funny. Because I'm like, I had, there was something I wanted to bring up. And that's what it was about you. I was trying to remember. And then you did it. I was like, that's what I was going to say. We're on the same frequency.

We are. I know. Well, you, how long have you been separated or divorced? Well, so Kira was only one and a half when we got divorced. But after that, like, the first guy I dated, well, it was an ex because it was comfortable. Yeah. A little revisit. You know, I was like he was really always happy and fun.

And we had the best time and it's like I, for once, I felt happy and I was laughing again. And I hadn't felt that in so long. So I loved how that made me feel. But I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. So I ended that. I was like, I love you. Like, you're one of my best friends. But like, it's not fair to you.

I'm not ready. Like, I have healing to do. Yeah. Has there been anyone, like, significant enough to introduce your daughter to you? I dated someone. for a while and he met Kira. It's just hard, certain guys, and maybe I went for the complete opposite, where it was just, I already have a child, I don't need an adult child.

Like, sometimes they're too needy, and it's like they don't feel like they're getting enough attention because you're with your daughter all the time. Oh. And so for me, it's kind of like, I can't do this. Like, I'm already drained and I all, my love and everything is put into my daughter. And so the last thing I need is someone telling me that you got your feelings hurt because I was talking to my daughter and didn't include you or something.

It's just – Oh, no. That just – I couldn't do it anymore. Yeah. It's really common. I just talked to someone the other day about this, that they were – who was it? They were saying that, like, the person gets upset that they saved their kidacy and not them. Oh, my goodness.

I'm just like, come on. This is never going to fly. Yeah. So it's really hard. And I've only experienced that once. And I was like, oh, no, this can work. You're like, that's the red flag. I'm definitely.

Peace out. Yeah. Paying attention to. And Kira's really good at picking up on energy too. And so I could sense her energy and what she says has a big impact. Yeah. It's not like they're not just dating me, but it's my daughter is a part of my life. So if they don't like you, there's going to be a huge problem.

Right. Big, big problem. Yeah. Big problem. Kids are good, I think they have a good, what's the word I'm looking for? Intuition, intuition, radar, all of it. Yeah, they do. For people.

So it's really hard. I mean, and then, how do you do it? Do you go, like, well, I haven't went on a date, I don't know, no, probably over a year. Oh, wow. Wow. I just, I kind of just got exhausted and gave up, and I was like, this is exhausting, and I just, I don't have time for it. I like not having someone to answer. or two.

Yeah. And getting in my bed and going to sleep. I'm like, it's all sounding. Very familiar. There's not any more emotions or feelings I'm hurting because I didn't text them back quick enough. And it's like, it's kind of nice just to like not deal with that. Yeah.

I know. I've had, you know, people who are newly single or whatever and they're like, how do you do it? And it seems like you enjoy it. You know, the times that I have had that are just myself with my daughter, I'm like, No, this is actually really nice. Yeah. I can go to bed with her.

I can decorate the house anyway I want. You know what I mean? Like all those little things. And I'm like, there are advantages. And I do think it's important to get to that place where you're really happy alone. Yeah. To really attract the right kind of person.

Exactly. You know? And I know you've dated and it isn't like you're not going to just go on a date with someone and leave your kid just to go on a date because we don't need that. No. It's got to be worth it. It has to be worth it. And I will say, like, I've also gone back and forth on this, like, dating other people that have kids.

You're like, oh, they get it. But then you're like, oh, but then the... They have different parenting, discipline. Oh, yeah. There's that, too, like, different, you know, maybe a different parental mentality. Or their time is, like, it's harder because they have their kids, too. And so figuring that out. Or it's someone without a kid and they don't get, you know, putting the kid comes before everything.

See, I haven't experienced. that yet, but everybody's like, you just need to date someone that has kids and gets it. But then it's like, you don't think of all those. Then you're managing their, yeah, and then you're managing their ex. Yes. Right? Because they still share the kid with them and there's like a lot to maneuver there. Yeah. Yeah. I think you should try them all on. Yeah. And let us know how it's and let us know. And get back to us. Rachel will sit in bed with her banana split. Oh, yeah. She did send me a picture the other day. Because, because, because, because, we have very different experiences.

I have two boys. Okay. And a husband. And so there's a lot of, it's a lot, there's a lot going on in the house. And Rachel sent me a picture the other day. Because I, I'm, my daughter and are always together, right? And then she'll like sleep at her dads one night. And this was like a fun, like surprise thing.

So I didn't know I wasn't going to have her. And I said, oh, leave me a picture. I made myself a banana split. I got in bed. You guys. I turned on this show that I just discovered Farmer wants a wife. Okay? I've heard about that.

Oh my gosh. I sent her a picture and I was like, I am living your best life right now. I experienced joy in my heart when I saw it. I was like, oh, yes. Like one for the team. Yeah. You know, but there is those things that you get, you get to choose when you get in bed and eat a banana split. Yeah.

I mean, I always have my daughter. Like, I always know. So, Curis still sleeps in my bed. Yeah. Briars nine and we sleep together. Yeah, us too. And that's another thing with guys they think, or one of the guys I dated, he was just like, that's weird.

It's not. No, it's not. That's your red flag. That's just so judgmental. It's not weird. It's just the two of us. Like, why would I? Yeah.

Why would I not want to sleep with her? I have all in my bed. Yeah. And we just watched a video the other day. I don't remember who it was, but he was. but he was talking about in other cultures, the children sleep in the bed till at least seven. I saw that.

Did you see that? Yes. And I was like, see? Because then they are, what is it? Like, they're tuned in to the... Yeah. What was it? It was something good.

I think I sent it to you. Oh. I think I saw that. It's like the separation, anxiety isn't as bad. Yes. They have comfort. Yeah. I sent it to you.

I think I sent it to you. We'll get to the bottom of this after the conversation. You have to go through your text. I did. Sometimes we send each other videos back and forth. And it's like the same thing. And it's the same thing. And we'll be like, I sent you that.

We're already sent you that. Like we're getting old. Yeah. But I think, you know, Kira will go through phases where she'll sleep in her bed for three or four nights. And then she'll run in my room every night at like two or three. Yeah. But then it got to the point. where she would be in her bed sometimes, and it's like, I couldn't sleep.

A hundred percent. You guys are still-made. I know. We're living this life. And then I'd run in there and just peek to make sure she was asleep and covered up. And I was like, okay, I just need to be okay with this. No, because if they're not right, I know, it's this thing. And you're like, oh, well, she's going to wake up any minute and she's going to either want to run in here or like, whatever.

It is that. But sometimes, like, Briar will have sleepovers and then she'll sleep in her room, you know, with her friends. Yeah. And she does great. But it is that thing. Like, I'm so unsettled. Yes. I know. But think about that. Think about like bear cubs and other animals. They would never be like go sleep in another cave. Yeah. By yourself. You know what you mean? Like that's so weird that we do that. Like let's take our most vulnerable, you know, creature that we have and put it in a room by itself and expect it to be okay. I don't really agree with it. I don't. I don't either. I know. There's so many different ways of like parenting and like sleep training and like there's all these things, you know, and they work for different people. It's just so interesting to talk to people and then you're like when you're of the same cloth, you're like, oh.

Yes, because you get it. I know. But there are so many different people's opinions and just the way that they parent. And that works for them. Absolutely. And teach his own. Of course. Of course. Yeah. It's just interesting though. You know. And then I feel like also Also with dating, it's like Kira is so used to having me all the time that my mom will be like, Trina, you never go out. Like one night a week, bring her out to my house. Go out with your girlfriend. Go flirt.

Go to dinner. Go on a day. Have some fun. And I was like, I just don't feel like it. I know. I just want to put on my sweatpants and be with my kids. Like I've just, you get in these hibernation modes where you just don't want to leave. And yet I'm invited to a lot.

modest stuff. Right. I don't really feel like doing my hair and makeup. I know. It's a thing. Then it's like you feel like you have to look good because there's photos and it's like, I don't know. I just.

You're like, I want to be home in bed with my daughter. Yeah. So you live in Orange County, right? Yes. What? Are you from here originally? I was born in L.A. That's what I thought.

Yeah. And then raised in Orange County. And then when I was 18, I moved up here. It's not that far. No. It was like it was an hour drive to get here. Yeah. I just moved back after.

I had Kira because all my family's there and I had support and help. Yeah, you have your whole support system. Yeah, but I do miss L.A. and just the diversity and just the restaurants and the options of different places and experiences. And Orange County is very safe and laid back. And I love that. Like, it's just... Yeah. Yeah. But it's a different vibe for sure. Yeah. For sure. But if you were to go out, would you go out in Orange County or... See, this is not. Okay. So, Kristen, Calvarez. So I was talking to Chris. one night because I saw that she's on Raya. And so I wrote turn.

I was like, Kristen, do you, I'm sitting here at my kitchen table thinking I never go out. I never even have the chance to meet anyone. And you're having the time of your life. Like, she really is. She's like, girl, download it. It is like there's so many hot guys. Get on there. She's so unapologetically, like herself.

I went to dinner with her and not, I guess it was long ago now, because I never go out. And I'm like, the one time I went out. And she just, her stories, just like living her life. I know. I love it. How do you do it? So she inspired me. So I did get on Ryan.

Okay. Oh my God. Let's swipe right now. It's interesting. Is it? Oh my God. I love this shit. Well, and then I was going to get off of it because I'm sitting there.

I was like, this is just so, you start these conversations with these guys and then it goes nowhere. And then it's just dead silent. And then it's like, I just like everybody's just so accessible. Yeah. There's so many options that it's like you can't feel... But options that you're interested in? Or you mean just in general for people to... I mean, aesthetically, there's very good-looking men.

There's good-looking men in that world. But then there's also a lot of men, it's like the Zoolander look, the shirt off, your car, your Ferrari. It's like, okay, we get it your hot with a shit ton of money. If you're swiping, like, and you see what stops you? Yeah, what stops you? Yeah, what stops you and gets you're interested? Not the shirt off. Not really.

I just, well, and then you see these guys, and it's like, I've dated a lot in my 20s, especially being on the hills. Yeah. I was the one that had to go on all these days. Yeah. We're torturous at times. So it's just like energetically, like looking at some of the guys and reading their profiles, I can kind of feel. I don't know, it sounds so weird. No, we get it.

Right? Like, you kind of feel the energy that they're giving off. And like, do I really, I mean, it would be fun to go on a date with them. but then I look at them like, is this a father figure? Is this someone that I could see myself with Kira and their lifestyle? And, you know, then you go to their Instagram and kind of check all that out. And I try to give guys the benefit of the doubt. And because I don't want people Googling me in my past.

I have stuff about me, but it doesn't define me. I've grown in so many different ways. So I try to do that. I try to do that. But then I'm like, okay, well, I don't just want to waste my time going on a date with someone. So sometimes one of my best friends, they'll like, I'm going to Google his name. And it's like, no, I don't want to know anything. Right. Yeah.

Like, let me just. Have the experience. Yeah, but I've never actually went on any dates. Like, I just, from it. I just is all new. I'm so bad. I know. So bad.

Do you want to go on and say it? Yes. Absolutely. I know. We're always like, what is it? Yeah. I know. But it's probably just because you're just because you're.

your home, like, embed whatever with your kids. And it's just something to do and look at and keep you occupied. And it's kind of interesting to see, like, who's out there in the world? Yeah. What kind of guys are there? When we're done recording, you can tell us. Yeah, I'll show you. You have to.

I know. We're so into it. It's so interesting. But then being in the industry, you know kind of real life stories and just from knowing people. Yeah. And so then it's kind of like, no. Not you. No.

No. Yeah. Yeah, but then it's like I'm almost too picky. So then I try to... Well, you should be, though. Rod Ideas is supported by Sundays for Dogs. I love the ease of Sundays for dogs. Not only is it shipped here, but you don't have to store it in the fridge.

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Go to Sundaysforogs.com slash ideas or use code ideas at checkout. That's Sundaysforogs.com slash ideas or use code ideas at checkout. Okay, so here, I would love to hear, like if we were manifesting your perfect partner, what would it be? Someone with integrity and respect and what he does. Like, I like someone that's very well respected in their industry and just with the people around them in general. And someone that is understanding and not needy. And someone that's good with kids. Someone that's funny, has a sense of humor and that's outgoing and just like likes to go on adventures and be spontaneous. And I don't really like the type that is very,

you know, planned. Right. Because I'm such a spur of the moment person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And someone that I just, I want to meet someone where it's not only like, there's not only amazing chemistry,

but it's like you have a lot in common. And it's just like a natural connection that's just like, wow, this, I'm not even trying to force this. It's just like you're being pulled in the same direction. And how is it? Is that different from what you manifested in the past? I think in the past I never really manifested. From dating on the hills, I was just like, I needed guys to date, so they would call a

modeling agency and like, okay, I dream you're going on to stay with this guy. You know, so as a constant of going on dates with guys that I was like, I have nothing in common with this guy. Yeah, he's really pretty, but we have nothing in common. Right. So I never really manifested. Actually, a few years ago, my best friend and I, every full moon, she would come over. And we did this whole full moon, like, writing our goals down.

Love it. Go in my jacuzzi and just let the full moon, you know. Yeah, bathe in the moonlight. Yeah, bathe in the moonlight. Write it down. We talk it out loud. And, like, that guy never really has manifested yet. But it's also probably timing.

I've been so involved with my thing. family that I'm not really, I'm not allowing it. Yeah. You're probably not. Do you want to allow it? Um, I do. I think I'm not there quite yet. It's hard.

It is. I mean, I grew up with a single mom, so I know that. And any time she would have a boyfriend, we'd be like, you know? You know? Just like, oh. I don't know. Interesting. Did not like it.

So when did you actually start wanting your mom to date or were open to it? Ever? I'm still dealing with that. Really? There was only one boyfriend that my mom had. That you like? That I loved. Do you remember Greg?

Oh, yeah. He was wonderful. He fit in our world. Like, he was a good guy and never felt uncomfortable. He never tried to be my parent, you know. But I was already probably like 18. Okay. So, like, growing up, no, no.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. And she didn't really create the space for it either. Right. Yeah, that's what I feel like I'm not creating the space because I'm so protective and so 100% involved with it. Right. That, yeah, it's just, it's tough. Yeah. I mean, you well went up.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's, or even just to go out on a date, you're like, oh, I want to get, like, you know, go. Maybe one. And you're like, I don't need a relationship. But it's all just, like, I always say the universe. and like whatever is meant at the time. How do you feel about making the first move?

Would you? Like, would you reach out to someone or? Yeah, I mean, I feel like I've done it. Yeah. And it's fun, but then right when things start getting too serious, I pull back. And I was like, oh, no. Got it. I don't think I'm ready for this.

They're not ready. Yeah. Yeah. And then I feel bad. Like, I don't want to keep hurting people because I'm not ready. and they get emotionally involved, and then I pull back. Right. So now it's like I'm almost holding myself back because I don't want to hurt anyone else.

Yeah, that's really, that's a nice thing. But I feel like when you're ready, you probably, the thing that's hurting them is that you're not ready. Yeah. And so when you actually are, you're probably not going to hurt them. Yeah. You're right. You'll be all in. You'll be in.

And that's the thing that they feel and sense that they can't put their finger on and that's why they need and want more. from you because they can't have that thing you are withholding it. Yes. And so when you're done with that, you probably won't, they won't be as needy, I bet. Yeah, because it'll just organically just flow. Yeah, because right now they feel there's something you don't want to give them, and you know what that does to people. It makes them want more.

They're like, but give me that thing, you don't want to give me. I know. But I also feel like if you're, like, really into the dude, like, you're just going to go further away. Yeah. You know what it is. Like, maybe it just hasn't been the person. where you're like, oh.

It hasn't. No. There hasn't been that one person that just like wins me over or just there's a pool. It's always me like, okay, I just need to do this. I'm just going on a date. Like, I need to get out there. This will be good practice. It's like, why did I do that?

No, I can't get him to leave me alone. You know, it's like, what did I do? Right. How do I get out of it now? Yeah, I know. I know. But it is true. I think with the right person you're just going to be.

You just automatically are like all in when you feel that way, I think. Yeah. Honestly, I'm not really worried about it. Yeah. I'm good right now. Right. You're like I can swipe just for entertainment, but I don't care. It's literally just to see.

Yeah, that's the thing with Raya. I mean, it's people from all over the world from the Netherlands. Oh, right. That's actually, I think you could like strike up something. You're like, I don't have to see you. You know? Like you're in France. This is great.

Yeah. You're like, I don't have to integrate you at all. I think it's just the texting, too. My daughter can read now. So she, you know, she'll be playing on my phone. And if someone text me, she'll read it out loud in the backseat. I'm like, Mommy, someone so-and-so texted you. She said blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, oh. Can I have my phone back? Right. You're not supposed to know about those things or my friend's relationships or what they're going through. Yeah. She said, someone so said you need a total dick. Yeah.

Your texts on like quiet when you hand them the phone. Yeah. So the alerts don't come up. Shade balls over here. Yeah. I need to shut all the alerts off. I just do any shady advice. I've got you.

Dating advice for single moms. That's what we need. Put your text on quiet. Yeah. It's a journey, but, you know, I'm just... You're on it. You're in it. And you seem great, though.

Like, you seem so just content and even with everything that you've gone through in the past year. It's a lot. And relationship, like, but I think when you can take things, from all of those experiences and you put anything positive to them. Yeah. It seems that you've grown so much from it all. Yes. And that's the thing too.

When my niece died last year, that opened my eyes. And the guy that I was dating at the time, it just put my life and my priorities and perspective. And it just changed me. Like, everything in me just made sense. Right. I knew exactly what I needed to do. And everything that I was holding me back, I was like, I got to cut ties.

like that's not part of my path. It gave you clarity. It gave me a lot of clarity. Right. Right. And it sounds like, I mean, you obviously have some sort of spiritual connection. And how is that played into all of this? A lot.

Like, I pray about everything. My sister and I, for Sadie's death day, her first day in heaven, we did a sound bath at my house. Aw. And it's just it releases energy. And it just helps you heal. So I'm, you know, and even every day I listen to different frequencies. And I put it on YouTube like 423 or 432 or 9-6-3 or different.

It just like uplifts you and lets go of things. It's like a healing sound. Yeah. So I'm very much into all of that, which has helped me too where it's like I'm very much at peace and with where I'm at. Yeah. I can feel it. Yeah. Like, you know, I just can feel that.

Just looking at you and talking to you. I think it's so beautiful. What a beautiful example for your daughter? Thank you. You know? Yeah. And that's all there is, really, right? Yeah. To be a good example for her and...

Raising these little people. These little humans. I know. It's so crazy. And then they get older and then you're like, oh, I need... But I miss you so much when you were little. Well, that's why I'm like, you could sleep in my bed as long as you want because I know from my nephew, my nieces and nephews that are older.

as soon as they hit like 11 or 12, they're like, they don't want to do. Yeah. I know. It's really hard to come to terms with. So I'm just sucking it all up and enjoying it while I have it right now. That's beautiful. It's a beautiful mentality. Yeah.

And people are so judgment. Yes. They are. And they're also, you know what they are? They're everything. They're both. People are both. They're really loving and accepting and then they're really judgmental.

Yeah. And it really just shows. their projection of whatever they're going through. Exactly. What's helped me through, like, Instagram comments and just... Oh, God. Accusations. That must be.

You've been dealing with that for a long. Long time. Yeah. But now I find pleasure in blocking, so... Good. If you ever, if there's anything negative, do you just block the person? Yeah. Good for you.

Good for you. Yeah. There's some real interesting comments out there. I know. Oh, yeah. There's some real. There's some real interesting. Well, and on cameo.

Are you on cameo? No. Oh, my goodness. Wait, can they comment on cameo? No, but people will send me video requests of things that they, it's like, I'm not just a puppet you can pay to say whatever. Oh my God, wait, what's the craziest thing that they're it? Something about, it's like a joke to their friends, something about testicles and like

something. And I was like, there's no way I'm sending a video saying this. It'll go like viral to everything. everybody talking about testicles. Like, sorry, dude. That clip is going to now. Oh, yeah. But you're saying.

I'm saying it right now. Oh, my gosh. No, some of the requests, though, are just, they're pretty funny. But some of this stuff, it's like, if it was someone close, I would do it as a joke. But I can't, I can't send that publicly. Yeah. That's so interesting. That's a whole other world of, like, those requests.

Yeah, or just people wanting me to pretend. that I love their product and like they send me what they exactly what they want me to say and then they want to use that to post it everywhere like I'm endorsing and it's like no it doesn't work like that's it's only $50 I'm just like there's just so many ways to go no yeah that's not how it works you're navigating it all yeah it's mostly cameo I just use it to connect with fans yeah no that's beautiful happy birthdays or a lot of girls write me wanting to know like my nutrition, like how I say in share. All of it.

That's what they want to know. So that's what I always said. I know. I'm like so beautifully glowing. Oh, thank you. Last time I saw you, I was like, where it's on your skin? That's right. Gosh, I've been using.

So there's a little Asian mart. It's called Hmart in Irvine. And so I go, I love going there. And I get their Korean face masks. Oh. The hydrating ones. And then I got their gel. It's like $80, but it's a moisturizing gel. And I feel like my skin, I've been using it for two months now. And my skin is just beautiful. Beautiful.

Any kind of Korean skin care is the best. I went to South Korea and that's what I learned. They all have beautiful skin. Wow. Yeah. So, I mean, that and just vitamins and hydrating and. You take good care of yourself. You do. Yeah. We, yeah, we, yeah, we. don't really go out to eat. We cook a lot. You cook? You don't even go out to eat? Once in a while, I'll meet my sister or one of my best friends just moved to Pennsylvania, but she was the one where we'd always go out to like new places with the kids and do fun things. Oh, so you lost her and the kids? Was that? I know. It's hard, but we're going to go back and forth. That's fun.

Being positive about it. Yeah. I agree you. But do you order in? Like delivery? Like, sometimes. Okay. This is where we get real into this. We get real into this. We get. We Like, we want to know the food. I'm feeling like she doesn't much. No, you cook a lot. Yeah. What? Yeah, we want to know.

We want to know what you actually could. I know. There's this, I cook a lot of like, we eat really healthy. And I've been getting Kira into that. Like, she loves broccoli or asparagus and roasted carrots. And then we do rice or flavored chicken. So I, I've been doing a lot of crock pot recipes, which is fun. Love a crock pot.

Or there's this app that I use. It's called Intrackpot. intent. And it helps me plan my whole week of meals. Oh. And it gives you a grocery list, which Kira loves because we'll go and she gets to go through the list and she gets to check it. And then before you go through all these questions and it's like, do you want to lose weight, gain weight, what's your ideal weight? And like, you know, so you put all that in and it creates this menu for you. Wow. And then I put in, I like meals that are 30 minutes or less cooking. Yeah.

So it's all really easy fun meals. That's great. Yeah. I know. I'm always wanting ideas. I tried something last night really healthy. And Breyer was not a fan. The soup?

Did I make a soup? It was like a sweet potato, chickpea, like stew. Oh, that's what it was. And I served it over. My friend taught me if you cook your rice and coconut milk. Yes, I love it. It's so good. It's so good.

Yeah. She was not a fan. I have this really good Greek lemon soup recipe. I need to send you. Oh, send it. It only takes 20 minutes. It's chicken. Is it orzo?

Um, yeah. Ors there no pasta. It's, um, cous. Okay. I think. That sounds delicious. Yeah, you just put everything in there and you just let it boil for, I don't know, I love easy, but like impressive.

Yeah. And it's even better the next day because it's just marinating. Yeah. Oh. It's so good. And is she open to trying all the new things? She'll try things or she'll smell it before and be like, no. When we had COVID, even though I couldn't taste anything or smell anything, I was craving potato

soup. So I made a huge thing of potato soup and I just ate it even though I couldn't taste it. But she could taste it. And she tasted it. I was like, Kira, tell me if this is good. She's like, it's disgusting. It's like I can't taste it. So cute.

They are honest. Very honest. That's the hard part is we try and go outside of the box and then whenever we do, my kids won't eat it. No, last night I had the... They're just like, no. The night before I had cooked and I had the leftovers heating up too because I had a feeling she wasn't going to like the chickpea stew. I did do that.

Was it good? The chickpeas stew? Yeah. I liked it, but I felt like it needed either to add chicken to, you know, like I needed something else. Yeah. To elevate it. It was very vegetarian. Okay.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Which was great, but I just felt like I needed something else. Yeah. My one best friend who moved, we used to have soup nights. Yeah. So we would choose a new soup and we would like get all the ingredients. The kids would play and then we would just like make this soup during the winter months.

That's so sweet. You guys. You should do a soup night. I have a lot of soup. My daughter loves soup. Hi. Oh, I'll make you soup. I love soup.

We're going to exchange soup recipes. Yes. I'm going to send you this. They're so good and it's so healthy for you. I know. Oh, if you lived closer, we could have soup next. I know. I know.

I know. In Pennsylvania? Where you can come over anyways? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can still come. It's only an hour drive. It's not too bad.

No. Yeah, it's just fun. Like, I like doing stuff like that where it's like you're at home. The kids can play. Yes. And then you get to hang out with your friends, have wine or just hang out and like make something new. Like soups or I don't know. Yeah.

The summer we did a lot of barbecues by the pool. Yep. And just tried new. One of my friends doesn't drink. So we do mocktails. Yeah. And just create. stuff. I know it's so much fun. That's so fun. But that's also filling something. So when you're

saying you're not dating, whatever, but you're like with the people you love and you're getting together and you're socializing and it's like, I mean, I can relate. Yeah. And it's also good. I think that it's probably very different from being in your 20s where you probably spent if you were anything like us and we kind of watched you. So we might know a little bit. But I feel like in your 20s, we all spent so much time focused on the guy. I know. You know. You know. And it's like, then as you get older, that becomes... No, I'm still focused on the guy. But it just because there's so much other amazing things to fill your life with that you're not as needy for that.

Yeah. It's nice getting older and looking back and like retrospect and being like, oh, no, this is the importance. Yeah. But you do that. Soup. Yeah. But you do that and you can look back and you're like, all right, but at least I did it. Yeah.

Like you got out of your system. Yes. I'm talking like I went in my 20s and just dated. It was kind of the opposite. I feel like my ex-boyfriend was identical to your ex-boyfriend. Justin? Justin Bobby, yeah. Did you ever notice that?

That he has Ollie's face? Oh, Ollie. Oh, yeah. The same face. Yeah, it was a thing. Didn't you tell me that he was, you brought him in. Yeah, to the show. Yeah.

So I met him when I worked at Keote Studios before I started filming. I was a receptionist. And he was there working on a Stephen Maisal shoot from Madonna, like, assisting hair. And he just kept walking in front of my desk, back and forth. And then he gave me his number. And that's – and then he happened to be from Orange County. So the first time we hung out was in Orange County. And then we were just connected.

Like, we just couldn't get enough of each other. And then he tried to film on first season, but he was too quiet and uncomfortable. And so when I kept doing it, then by third season, And he's like, okay, I get what you do now. Like, I think I can do it. So he came on. But then that was like detrimental because it changed our whole relationship. Oh, yeah.

And whenever you bring something on camera or out in the spotlight, it just changes the whole dynamic and everything. Right. Are you still close now? He called me last year when Sadie died to see, just to send his condolences. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. But like you said, you're not really friends with anyone.

I mean, I talk to Brody every now and then. Yeah. I talk to Kristen. Yeah. Every now and then. And you became friends with Misha. Yes. Yeah.

Which I haven't talked to her in a while. Okay. But we became friends with her. And then she seems to be doing well again. Yeah. Yeah. She wound up coming on the O.C. podcast.

That's right. She actually came on and I know. I know. And she was just open to talking about, you know, stuff. And it was really nice to see her. Yeah. She was really nice to see her. nice. It was kind of a breath of fresh air to have someone new. Yeah. It seemed like she wasn't

like super happy though with the show. And she did not, she was not down for the drama, which I loved because I wasn't either. So her and I were just like, hey, let's go over here and get a drink or like, how do we get out of this? Right. And then we could film scenes together where we knew we weren't going to like attack each other or throw each other under the bus or just like ask an appropriate questions just for camera or for action. So wild. So it was nice to have that. Yeah. Yeah.

Because they're always constantly, right? Like planting and plotting and, I mean, that's just what it is. Yeah. I feel like now when I've asked if I would do it again, it's just I finally am at peace and my cortisol levels are normal. I just don't have to, I'm not in fight or flight. Right. So it's nice, like, being at that place where I don't think I'd ever want to go back to it. Right.

So you wouldn't do it again. No. No. I don't think I would. No. Not that kind of. Kind of version of it. Right.

No. Like, anything that's inspirational or that's going to, like, it's feel good, I would do that. Right. But there's so many reality shows now that's just fighting and cussing and cheating and just all just the wrong things. And I don't like it. I don't like how many. Farmer wants a wife, though. I'm just saying.

Should you check it out. I thought you meant for her to be on it. No. Unless I was your boat. And I was like, what about you then? Just saying. We'll have to check that out. I do need to get into some new shows when Chiro goes to bed and just like to watch and stuff.

Yeah. Oh, we suck at that. We go to sleep when they. I do. Oh, my God. Literally. I was out. 8.45 with her. But then do you wake up? Like, I'll wake up like an hour or two later. And then I'm like, oh, fuck. And then I'm up for another hour. Just like whatever. Yeah. I do that too. Yeah. I don't. You're just out. You're lucky. She's out. I'm waking up at like four every morning. And then I go back to sleep and get up at six.

And I'm like, why can I just sleep until six? until six. I'm exactly the same. You know what else you guys have in common that I just realized in this moment is the bling ring. Oh, that's right. Oh, my God. You know that you're right. That's so crazy.

Yes, we interviewed the sisters from the bling ring. Yeah. Because I was like, whatever. Like, let's bring them on. Let's talk about it. How was that? Did they have any remorse or shame or like apologize? Oh, yeah.

Yes. Big time. Yeah, and I was like, you know what, I'm old enough and, like, grown past it enough and you were a kid. Like, you want to talk about it, fine. Like, I'm not going to be like, oh, it's cool, you know, whatever. But I wasn't going to give them a hard time either. It was just kind of like, sure, say your side of it. That's fine.

That was really big of you. I love that. It's crazy, though, because did they take, like, everything from you? They took trash bags of stuff. Yeah. They knew I was at an Oscar party and they knew that because I had. tweeted it. Right.

But then I had cameras and my cameras are the ones that caught their, their Nick and Rachel, their faces. Oh, really? And I posted it on my website and said if anyone knows of these people, let me know they broke and, yeah. But I left. So my back door was open, but I have a gate and no one could get through there.

Right. But I guess the electricity or something went off and on where it, the electric demagnified or something, the block. So they were able to get in the gate. So that's how they got in. But they took a lot. I mean, suitcases of stuff. Like just all.

It's like they went shopping in my house. So creepy. Yeah. And it's not, did you get anything back? Nothing. Nothing. I didn't get anything back. Uh-uh.

Ever. I didn't even get money back. Nothing for anything. Like I didn't get. They took stuff from my aunt, like vintage Chanel watches and like rings. Right. Like things like, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I know. That's the part that's like, you guys, like, you were kids, but it was so fucked up. Like, you can't, you know, there's no way around that. Like, I wasn't going to come from like, oh, but it was just to have a conversation. Yeah. Because I think, you know. Yeah, but we did get to the point where at the end you were like, you need to let it go.

Because they were like. Yeah. So sorry. Oh, my God. Yeah, because I was like, you guys, like, really, really damaging them and thoughts over it. And the guilt and whatever. And I'm like, I get it. But you got to let it go.

Yeah, you know? Yeah, that's what life is. Like, if you have that and you carry it, I was almost, to be honest, when I found out it was like two young kids. Yeah. It took a lot of the anxiety off because at that point, I locked myself in the closet and I didn't know if someone was in my house or if they're like... Oh, because you came home to like a disheveled house. Yes. Got it. And I went upstairs and I just got back from Australia. I co-hosted the VMAs or something. Yeah. So everything was still packed. got home, changed, and then I went to the party and came home. And I was like, am I losing my mind? My suitcase is gone.

My laptop. Right. Everything is off my bed. Oh. Like, what is going on? And then I went in my closet and I called my sister. And I was like, okay, if I opened my jewelry box and stuff is gone, someone is in my house or stole stuff. And I opened it.

Everything was gone. And so that's when I locked myself in because I didn't know if they're still in the house. I would have done this thing. Yeah, me too. I'm afraid to get off the phone. Oh, of course. So I had my brother-in-law call 911 while I was on speaker. And then they sent the cops.

Oh, my God. I was out of town when it happened to me. Three times, right? Five times. Five times. They went into my house five different times. What? Yeah.

I guess my door was, like my back door was unlocked. My house was dated too. But there was a door unlocked somewhere, I guess. It's just you don't even think that that would happen. No, and the one girl who gave, Rachel, who gave you. the interview was like, I got so comfortable, I, like, pooped in her bathroom. And I was like... Yeah, Rachel and Nick were the ones that went to my house.

Dude, your house. That is just... I know. I was like... And did you not... Did you notice or it was just like, over time they just kept taking little things? I forget if, like, my mom went to check up on my house because I was out of town. And it was like everything.

But what was weird, my mom was, I remember, and I think it was my mom. She's like, the weirdest thing is, things are gone, but like, not your typical, like, if your house, you know, all the TVs, everything, like, everything was in place. They went shopping. It was on the bag. And the shoes. Yeah. Like, clothes and shoes and bags and jewelry.

Yeah. You know, and my mom's first engagement ring was take. You know, that stuff is like, come on, you guys. You can have the clothes. Just give me the sentimental things. Yeah. Just give me the sentimental. My mom still talked about it.

Oh. Even though she's pretty good. I got really good at letting go of material things. Because not only did that happen with the bling ring, happened to me again. Just designer. Like, it was a top. targeted thing, again, when I was running a house in between houses and going through like my...

Oh, yeah, that wasn't that long ago. Well, different people that... Yeah, it wasn't the bling ring. Like, I do think it was related in some way specifically, personally, to me. Okay. It was, like, targeted. Paparazzi was following you that day. Remember? Yeah, but I was running, yeah.

And they literally just took... Yeah, someone knew. They knew when you leave where you're at. Yeah, I guess. But anyway, so it happens. I'm just like, well, I'm just not getting attached to anything material. Or I'm going to start locking my door. I think the door was, I don't know.

It was a rental. She locks her door now. Oh, I have a very secure system now. There's security outside. Yeah. It's just that feeling of that invasiveness. Yeah. It's a feeling that you can't.

It's just a feeling I've never experienced. I feel like I moved not long after that. Maybe I'm wrong. but I wanted to anyway. Because, you know, you feel you're violated. Yes, violated. And betrayal. And you're like, I feel weird being in this house.

Yeah. I didn't stay at my house either. That's not realistic. People can't always just move. But I just mean the feeling of like. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I went and stayed with my mom in Orange County for a while. And I was like, I don't want to be in that house.

I don't know either. Like, I don't be around it. I know. So. It's scary. Gosh. I know. Well, I wonder, like, what did they do?

I mean, I thought they were hiding some of it in a storage in Vegas. Yeah, I heard. I don't know. I don't know. And then they sold it. And I'm like, who's going to wear? My shoes were like a size five. So I was like, you guys, who's going to wear these shoes?

You're a size five? Someone online was looking for a size five. They were a little feet. I was like, come on, guys. Anyway. But yeah, it was so long ago. I think you grow up and you're just like, look. You learned from it.

But it's also. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Just being aware. It's all about awareness now. I thought you were going to say, you guys have something in common. You were going to like say a guy we both like, hooked up if there's something.

Slept with. Probably. I mean, who knows? Who knows? And then it's so hard to date to and find solid good guys. Oh, yeah. I know. I feel like, I feel like guys are having a similar situation with women, too, though.

It's true. Because it's like, they're like, well, all the girl cares about is, like, how successful the guy is. Or, you know, so I think it's on both sides. Yeah. It's just tricky. As you're talking, I'm like, who would be good? I know. You know?

Even though she's like, I don't want it. She's like, I don't want it. I'm like, but there's got to be someone. I know. But then again, you say that until you meet the right one, then it's just like, that's the right one. I was already. I just was not meeting the right one. Right.

You know what's funny is that my husband doesn't really find many people attractive. I'm always like, isn't she gorgeous? Isn't she pretty? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, always. I'm like, how is that possible? He likes Audreyene. Really? Oh, yeah.

He was like, she was always my biggest crash. Like, he's like, oh, my. He does not give that away. No, he doesn't give it a lot. We're like, obviously. That's nice. Yeah. That's sweet.

But it's also. He reminded me of that this morning. Oh, yeah, because she told him. Yeah. She was going to see you. He was like, oh. Yeah, he's like, I like what you know. But it's also.

Oh, that is so funny. But it's also your inside too. Yeah. Yeah. Shine from within. But you're obviously beautiful. Thank you. Inside and out.

You guys are too. You have such a good, like, just fluid, fun, natural, like, sister bond almost. It's just, like, very sisterly. Thanks. We do share our brain a lot of the time. Like, we'll come up with the same exact thought, yeah. I've noticed, like, whenever you're, like, it's back and forth. It's so good. Yeah. But we're so happy that you can. Thank you for us. Come over with your daughter. I will. You should when you're in a way. Like, this is such a kid-friendly house. We will make sense. I know.

She'll love all the squishies. Oh, my God. So many squishies. And there's kids shit everywhere. I don't know. Yeah. That's how my house is. I just...

Yeah. It's a kid's world. This is it. For now. Yeah. For now, exactly. We're so the same. I can feel it.

I know. You really are. I know. What's your birthday? May 9th. Not the same time. No. Is that tourist?

Yeah. Wait, what's your sign? I'm a Virgo and she's a Libra. Okay. Wait. So those all those three signs, I think. Go together. We do go together.

Yeah. We go together. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Hi.

Hi. We have a gift for Rob. Oh, shit. It's in a soccer. Yeah. The soccer bag is for you, Rob. Yeah. I think this is going to be a weird gift.

No. You guys are all giggly about it. No, it's just a belated Christmas present. Because we never get you anything. It's. I brought you. guys gift today too. He got us a pillow that says, I don't always whoop, but when I do, there it is. Oh my God. This is so true. It's another whoopi as well.

Because honestly, it's whoomp. There it is, isn't it? No, it's whoop. There it is. It is. I guess it would be. That's why they do. Do you know who let the dogs out? You guys. Oh, no. Wait, I have to tell you something. That right there is a perfect example. example how I say I always get lyrics wrong, right? To songs. Let me tell you something I learned the other day. I was watching Golden Girls. Okay. And the theme song came on my whole life. Do you tell. I sing this song and it's like, um, and if you threw a party, you know, um, invited everyone you knew. Yeah, keep going. You would see the biggest gift would be from me. No, there's a part where it's like, I think, yes.

And the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend. The card attached was? What? The heart attack would say. Oh, that doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense, but it doesn't matter in my brain my whole life. No, you did it? And I'm like, it's the card attached.

I should have spit. It's the card attached. You've got to be kidding. In my mind, I heard heart attack. Okay. Anyways, I believe it. Yes. I believe it.

Sorry, I had to share. That checks. I know. You guys, we've talked about this. Your brain's broken. My brain's broken. For sure. Anyways, open your present.

Oh, Rachel. I almost broke it. It's another mug. Oh, I'm so glad this is on video. Yeah. I forgot. Very nice. Y!

A cop that says the Wizard of Broads. Yeah. Yeah. And since you don't like drink coffee or whatever, we got the tall one for your matcha. This is a good size drink. See? Vessel. And you have to go.

The Wizard Abrods. Thanks. It's kind of a flex. Right? No one else is the Wizard Abroad. That is true. Yeah. Well, thanks.

You're welcome. Oh, I feel like you actually like it. It's really whoop. There it is. Yeah. Right? I mean. I always thought it was, whoop, there it is.

Me too. No. It's whoop, there it is. I'm looking. But they say it. Whoop, there it is. Whoop. There it is.

It's wump, you guys. It's wump. There's an M. There's an M in there? Yeah, Wump, there it is. Womp is the debut single, like 1990s Rapp Duo tag team. Back again.

Check in wrecked end. Let's begin. Party on part of people. Here's some noise. D.C.'s in the house. Jump, jump, jump for joy. There's a party over here. Yeah, party over there.

Oh. You got taken. Well, no, I'd still... Did you pick it out that way, or did you get that made? No, I picked it out. Okay. I didn't get made. Okay.

I would have, yeah, it's still a whoopee cushion. It's a whoopee cushion. Oh, there you go. Now we found the irony. If you would have gone to Shepard's birthday, you would have gotten a whoopie cushion in Calvin's... I didn't get a whoopee. I'm glad that we didn't get a whoope cushion for Calvin because...

He would abuse it. He would abuse it. I mean, we would have come, but you guys were sick. What? You were sick, you said. You were in San Diego, don't lie. What are you talking about? I wasn't sick?

So first time... Oh, we were sick before that. Yeah, all week. Yeah. And I had just gotten better. We were better by the time we had his party. Yeah. Like, well into being...

I'm sick. I'm sick. I would come. We were just gone. Oh, good. I got sick either from Rob. dragging me to this wonderful night out or, or other reasons. Or children.

Yeah, probably the children. My child was not here when I got sick. That doesn't mean, could have been like, festering. But I did do her Valentine's party at school. I don't know. Even though she wasn't here. You mean you were around like 600 kids the day before? That's what you're telling me?

I have a story to tell you guys. Okay. I have not been sleeping at all. Okay, like at all. I do not sleep, it's a problem. So I'm trying to find all these things to try. What does that mean? Can you like, you're in bed from what time to what time?

Like 8.30. 8.30. And you just lay there until. I'm like laying there. I try to stay up late enough where I'm like, okay, if I stay up late enough, maybe I'll sleep through. Right. Anyway, it doesn't happen. I wake up every middle of the night at like three.

What time are you fall asleep, though? Well, I try to push it to at least 10. And how do you try and push it? By doing what? Stimulating yourself with your phone? Yeah, you're on your phone. Okay, that's not the point of my story. And when do you stop having caffeine?

I can fall asleep. I fall asleep, no problem. So you're sleeping like two, three hours. I can't stay asleep, yes, okay? So I'm like, what can I try? Whatever. So I went and I got like the weed sleep gummies, okay? Eating weed is never the best idea for me.

Oh, really? Why? She's not good at math, so she takes way too much, probably. Well, at first I tried one that was like low, and I'm like, okay, I didn't do anything. I woke up anyways. Then, last night, I was like, I am not, I haven't slept in like a week. So I ate one. I didn't realize it was like the strongest one you can eat.

What do you mean? And did you check the dosage? No. I just. Yeah, well, that's. Well, because a lot of time it's half the thing. Yeah, I think I thought it was like the whole thing, but it should have just been half, right? I feel like people mess that up a lot.

Yeah. It's like, why can't they just say the whole thing? So I thought it was the whole thing. I'm not, I'm tiny, okay? Yeah. I eat the whole thing. And you guys. Oh, no.

I was laying in bed and all of a sudden I was like, I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I had to pee so bad. I could not move. I could not get up from my bed to walk to the bathroom. For at least a solid hour, I was like this. I put a sound bath on to fall asleep to. So once in the sound of the sound bath started, that's what triggered me.

And I was like, oh my God, I'm going to die. I'm going to fucking die. Anyways, so that's what kicked it off. And I laid there for an hour. Like, you have to go pee. You have to go pee. You have to just get up, walk to the bathroom, and pee. But I was so scared.

I was stuck. Did you do it? Was it like sleep paralysis or you were fully conscious? No, I was fully conscious. And then I would find, okay, if I'm on my phone, at least I'm distracted. Your hands were working on? Every time I would be on my phone, oh, wait, I have to. But doesn't the stuff on your phone start to trip you out then?

No, I was texting, like having a conversation to help me kind of. You were not available. Was it with me? No. You were gone. I had no. Olivia was gone. She was not responding.

Who was awake? So let me just, can I just read this conversation? George. Oh. No. Oh, he was awake. Georgie and I, this is the combo. I just have to read it real quick.

This is me. I've been trying to get up to pee for 30 minutes. I'm stuck to the bed. Oh, my God, L.O.L. Yeah, it's a lot. Is it like dark? And I start laughing. He's like, are you high in the dark?

I'm like, it's like in between, back and forth. Being on phone helps. And he's like, no. Like, is the light switched on in your room? I thought it meant to, like, is it dark? Like, is it scary? Like, are you having a dark trip? Yeah, that's exactly what I thought.

And I started, like, it's like dark. I'm laughing how I interpreted that. He's like, I'm dead. I meant it's literally dark in your house in the room. What I thought it meant was the line. Like, did you go dark? In between? Like, I feel safe.

Did you go dark? I'm like, no, it's like really in between. Like, I keep going back and forth because I start dripping out and then I'm okay. I laugh at the reading it back. I like it. I just sounded like George. I like it. I know.

Just so everybody knows, I finally got up to pee. How to feel? Great. And then what happened? But I had to close my eyes while I was in the bathroom. Why? Because when I opened them, I was like so high. Like, I felt so high.

And I was like, if I just closed my eyes, I won't feel as high. And I turned the volume off on the sound bath. I turned my phone off. And I went to sleep. Are you going to do it again tonight? Yeah, did it work? Absolutely. Did it work?

Were you able to sleep through the night after that? You know it worked even more? Yes. Mushrooms. Did it? I woke up for like a split second, I think, around 4 a.m. Normally I'm up for an hour. I woke up for a split second, but I turned my phone off when I went to sleep.

So I wouldn't be tempted to like look at it. I need text, I mean this, I mean that. So I think that helped you. That's good. And then I was up at 6.30. The move is like put your charger on the dresser across the room. I know. But you're supposed to like move it away.

What was I watching there? Like, you're supposed to take your... Like out of the room? Like, out of the room? Oh, yeah, it was Taylor Thompson. Is that it? She was like, would you put your child in another room? I think it would give me more anxiety, though.

I think it would give me anxiety for it to be in the other room. Because I'm like, what if something were to happen? I would have anxiety knowing that it's, like, too far. I said the dresser. You did. You said the dresser. Yeah, across the room. So, uh, I would.

I don't do it. Natalie does. She does. She has it up on the dresser. Does she sleep better because of it? Yeah, I think so. I think she gets off it earlier as well. When does she get off of it?

When she gets into bed. So she's not in bed. I mean, she's got like a candle in bed and that she's reading from instead. I thought you said a candle. A candle. I was like, oh, shit. Just right in the bed. Yeah, I need to do that.

I think I need to like read and not be on my phone. and then go to sleep. Yeah, maybe read a book, though, not like... I said a book. I didn't say a book. I meant a book. I meant a book. We have like a Kindle that has a screen.

Yeah. I'm not a screen reader. I need an actual book. It's annoying because when you travel, I literally have like so many books in my bag, which is inconvenient, but I stand by it. Do you guys have this anxiety?

No, you're not going to... Because you use a curig and you are like a macho maker. A macho man. You're a macho man. I have this anxiety. every night when I'm cleaning my coffee pot out because I like to set my coffee at night so it's ready in the morning. I just have to push a button. It's like one of my little joys. Every night I'm cleaning it. I have the fear that the pot's going to break and I'm not going to be able to have my coffee first thing when I wake up.

And this is a fear I battle every night. Maybe that's why you're not sleeping. If this is something that you battle every night, you know what you could do is get an extra coffee pot. I was about to say, let me tell you. It happened, you guys. It broke. I had to face my fear. All your fears came true. All my fears came true. And you had to just order in coffee and it came like six minutes later? No, I did the pour over. Oh, you had a backup. So you had a backup. I had a backup. I realized in the emergency that I actually did have a backup. Has that soothed your fears now? I feel okay now. This is a full full circle story. It's like I had these irrational fears of not. being able to, and it was fine. I had my backup. Also, Amazon could deliver it the next day.

Yeah, pretty quick. I know my brain. I know. I know. It's not easy. A person's that car accident. It's not easy being in here. Well. You tell us about it. Yeah. Okay. You've invited us along. I know. So we know. Sorry. That was my little, my other little share. You go ahead. You have the floor. What else is in there? You know? No.

I am curious about your sleep. I really care because I really think it's really unhealthy not to sleep. And I think it contributes just so many things. Issues. Yeah. So if you know reading your phone is bad for you, why do you do it? Well, it probably calms you a little bit too and helps you wind down. I'll, like, do the things.

Like, there's things I, you know, don't get to. during the day or like answering the emails or whatever. And like once I'm, you know, I know briars asleep and I can relate to these things like, you know, I'll do that. You check Instagram. Like, whatever. I realize that it's a problem. Do you know how extra people are? What? So Jeff was saying something along the lines of like, how would you feel about us changing the light bulbs to red and then blue and then you switch them for different times of the day. And I was like, that feels really weird. And then I was on the phone with Jennifer.

And she was like, Alexa, change. She's like, change it to red mood ambiance. And I'm like, what are you doing? Oh, friend that does that in their house. Really? Really? They switch their lights depending on the thing. Well, they've got the fancy lights that you just tell it to.

Or they have like controls to where they like hit a button and it's like sets the bedroom for bed and it's got like blowing colors. So Breyer literally just brought this up to me. She's like, mom, I need calming colors like pinks and orange and like it just makes you feel good, you know, because like we watch bluey before bed a lot of the time. And the title sequence is like blue, but there's an episode that's Bingo's episode and the titles go to orange and she goes, mom, that is just so much more relaxing. Wow.

And there's classical music at the end. She's like, Mom, is there any way to record that and just put that on repeat so we could just watch the calming colors and listen to the classical music? Maybe she's trying to teach you something. Yeah, this is for you. She's like, Mom, how about we try this? Mom, let's help you out. Yeah. She's like, how about we try putting the phone in the other room?

I know. It doesn't affect me. I can like watch. I like to watch a little TikTok before. You're borderline narcoleptic, though. I'm narcoleptic. I can fall asleep right here. But why I like TikTok better than Instagram, do you know what?

No. Do you know any theories? Nothing. Any Garys? Are there any Gareys? Are there any Gareys available? Any Geries? Any theories.

No. The reason I like it is because I don't know the people. So it's just like random. people putting like funny shit or memes or like jokes and like or like little wisdoms, but I don't know them. So it doesn't, I don't feel anything when I look at it. I know when Olivia's in bed because I'll just start getting random TikTok sent to me. How good are they though?

Aren't they always pretty good? They are always funny. And then I can go to sleep, but it doesn't feel like if I go to Instagram, it's just like no matter what, you kind of end up feeling weird. Do you ever feel that way? No, I put it down when I'm like ready to go to sleep, though. But I mean, how do you feel when you look at Instagram? Do you leave feeling better than when you start it?

No, I mean, I... Probably nobody's ever looked at it and then felt better, right? Maybe if it depends on your algorithm and your feed. Do you feel better when you live? look at it? Instagram? Yeah. Never.

Never. Although sometimes when I find like a really good, funny wing. But that's why I like TikTok. Did you look at the one I said? Rob did. I sent it through you too. Which one? That like if you hear this name, it means this or if you hear this.

No. Should I play the audio of it? Okay. I like the kids that are like, there's this little girl. She's like, I can't stop thinking about waffles. You can't eat waffles right now And she was like, but I can't stop thinking about them. And I'm like, I really, I relate to the little kid one.

Okay, go after. But here, listen. Currently, if you hear Dahlia, you are depressed. And if you hear Rose, you have ADHD. In a few seconds, I will play a sound. Comment which one you hear. P penis. So stupid.

Natalie had the same reaction when she heard. be listening to that, but I thought it was funny. It's so stupid. It reminds me of my kid's humor. Oh, I know. Okay, here's my question. Parent kid thing. We had a full dinner and then we're done.

And Briar, like, even had a little... This is just you and Briar? Yeah, just me and Briar. And she had a little ice cream, whatever. And then she was like, I really want a smoothie. But, like, it was time to go to bed. So I, like, put my foot down. And I was like, I'm not going to make a whole smoothie right now.

You know, and it's like... Asseille that she wants and it's whatever. Just gets everywhere so it's not like she can. Of course she wants an as a smoothie. Yeah, of course. Anyways. And then I felt guilty because like she really wanted one. And then we got to bed and she's like, I'm hungry.

We literally had a whole dinner. Yeah. Always, right? And I'm like, I'm not going to go make a smoothie right now. Like, it's 8 o'clock. Like we have to get in bed, you know? And then, of course, I felt bad and guilty because she really wanted a smoothie. And the kid didn't even want dessert.

She was asking for a smoothie. So I felt a little guilty that I didn't do it. No, you gave her a dinner. She got the food. I gave her strawberry. Calvin does that too. We were at dinner last night. He had two tacos, like a ton of chips that he was just like shoveling down.

Where'd you go? Did you hear in my summer? Enanto, right on Hillhurst, that Mexican place. He eats first taco, a couple bites at the second, says he's full. We get it like packed to go. And then he like, it sees Vincent's got a bunch of snacks at the table. It says he's hungry and wants snacks. And we're like, no, you can't have anything else until you finish the taco.

You just said you were full and didn't want to eat anymore. Right. This is nightly. Yeah. Every single night. Yeah. I would never make a smoothie. At bedtime?

At bedtime. That's an ordeal. I know. No. But also it stains. So it's not like we can be cozy and watch something in the bedroom like with a smoothie. I'm not making you a smoothie. No, no.

After dinner, that's it. I made it for her this morning and she took it to school and her thermos. That's fine. That's fine. A morning is an appropriate time to make a smoothie. My kids want to kiss the cat and hug the cat before bed. We don't have a cat. I was like, wait, what?

It's just like they just anything. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. Every little, he'll ask. And I'm like, no, no, no, no more talking. You're in bed. It's time to go to sleep.

No more questions. Do you do dessert every night? Every single night. Every night? I mean, she'll have the little something, sure. She has a treat every night. Yeah. So do my kids.

We've had to change it to just like two nights on the weekend. Oh, no. That wouldn't fly. Not during the week. And he's like constantly bartering and trying to get more. What are the desserts you give? Yeah. I mean, it's like go to Jennies and get an ice cream cone or just candy at home.

Oh, okay. Yeah. We do popsicles. They do a popsicle or a little bit of. Ice cream. I find it fine. I'm like, it's the same as drinking a cup of juice. I mean, it's not good, but.

I know. I always let her have something. I do. She doesn't love super sweet. You know what I saw? Like, I really want to make those, the dates that are like, and you put peanut butter in it and just dark chocolate and sea salt. Doesn't that sound so good?

It sounds delicious. My kids would never touch that, though. What? Never. Never. Just trick them. No. Shepard will leave the house.

If there's a vegetable on this house. I'll leave. I'd be like, I'm out. And he'll leave the house. And someone will try and put a vegetable. My brother's like, don't do it. He's going to leave. You know?

Like, it's serious. Serious. Yeah. But I let them have a sweet a date. Jeff thinks I'm a sugar pusher. He's like, you are psychotic. He's like, you like remind them to have their dessert. You like prompt it.

Yeah. We don't want it to turn into that. That's why it's. It's, I mean, if it's like, it's Vincent's birthday on Tuesday, he'll get to have cake. I hope so. That would be cruel. Calvin will get a cake, Vincent Will. Dude.

What? Well, not Vincent Well. He doesn't have. He doesn't have. He's never had sugar? He has, but, like, very limited. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaking of cakes, my mom made Shepard a birthday cake, okay? Same birthday cake always make. It's a gluten and dairy fruit. cake because Elliot can't have gluten or dairy, okay? We're sitting there. And I'm like, God, this cake is so good. What is up? Why is it so good?

And she's like, whole pound of Irish butter. And I'm like, Mom. Oh, no. What? And she's like, what? I'm like, you realize he can't have dairy. You know butter is dairy, right? Like, that's dairy.

She goes, oh, I use it every time. She's been doing it the whole thing. And it made me so angry. But then I had to remember she's going to be 81. Wait, and Elliot eats it every time? He had. Diarrhea. Yeah.

He sure did. I let him eat it, though, because he was, like, already eating it. Yeah, you don't want to take it away. He, like, looked at me and was, like, going to start crying. Did you eat it? I can eat dairy. I can't eat gluten. I try not to eat a lot of dairy, but I do eat it.

I do it. I'm bound it, but she was like, I do it every day. But I get through it and I do it every time. Oh, my God. Are we doing a question? Yeah, you ready? I, 25-year-old male, broke up with my girlfriend, 29-year-old female, after I caught her letting a guy send her soft porn.

Did I do the right thing? What? Let's get into the question before you guys get confused. Every time. Every time. I, 25-year-old male, was laying in bed next to my now-X, 29-year-old female girlfriend. and while she was showing me something, someone sent her on Instagram. I glimpsed at a message with a guy I don't know, and I asked her who that was.

She opened the messages, show me a chat saying it's her friend. I saw I sent her a questionable video, and when I asked her what that was, she said it's just a meme. It was a soft porn video of a guy walking out of a room fully provocative with a barely dressed girl with some text, music hinting at the girl cheating on her partner with the guy in the video. I'm pretty sure it was posted by actual porn star promoting a video. I got irritated, snatched the phone out of her hand to see what is all about, and I was shocked to see footage of similar reels, all hinting that he wants to have sex with her. Every single time, she would ignore the message or react with the laughing emoji.

I found out they texted during Valentine's Day while we were on a date, and he asked her where you go in after, indeed love me, to which she replied home and no, that's it. He also replied to a story. She posted of herself in a short dress during New Year's, saying turn around to which she replied with a thumbs up. I was extremely shocked to see this, and I just kept repeatedly asking what's going on and who this guy is. Her response was that it was just a friend, and there were funny reels,

and this is how he talks to everyone, even his mom and sister. I knew she has a lot of guy friends, which I was fine with, and that she'd be setting clear boundaries with them. I took a couple of screenshots from her phone. I was extremely shocked, and I knew if I don't do this, I might not remember what happened. I knew she was going to try to gaslight me. To make it worse, she was snatching her phone back from my hand. The phone called him, and he texted or something along the lines of,

Hey, cow, are you calling? Why are you fucking around? She continued to text him all I was trying to understand what just happened. She told him exactly what happened, to which he literally replied a laughing face. Is he jealous? She told me he wants to talk to you. Oh, caught. I asked her just to leave my apartment after she kept trying to show me his text and kept repeating the excuse of it's just funny reels.

I didn't do anything wrong. Okay. She then texted me after calming down and thinking, I understand you are upset. And it's not a nice thing to see. I got upset when he started taking screenshots and handled the situation badly. He needs a therapist. Yeah. This is her text still.

What I wanted to clarify is one thing. I know it's over and you are very upset. but I honestly did not cheat. And if you would consider that cheating, then it's totally up to you. I never cheated or lied. I was clear and even explained the situation. This is one of the most confusing and painful moments of my life.

This is him now again. I don't know what to believe. I can't imagine a scenario where something like this would be okay. Did I do the right thing? No. Calm down. You can't control what other people send. I mean, I thought everything he saw was proof that she was not like engaging, really.

Like she was laughing and she was like, no, you know. And sometimes people's humor, like, if someone's partner were to see, like, I have guy friends that I've been friends with forever and they will say wildly inappropriate things or send things that are inappropriate. But it's like that's our banter and it's not abnormal. And it's not weird. Does Jeff ever care? No. No. Because he knows, like, you know, like one of my friends, if he were to do.

or send inappropriate things, he's probably sending it to Jeff too, which is different. But still, I just think it's like, she was just being like, okay, it didn't seem to bother her. Why does it bother him? Do you agree?

Yeah, I mean... How would you feel if you saw that like on Natalie's phone, I guess is the question? I mean, yeah, none of that seemed problematic. Right. And she wasn't engaging with it. She wasn't encouraging it. Like she was pretty, like, passive when he would do things like that.

I would say that if it was reversed and someone was sending my husband's off porn, a woman, I wouldn't like that. No. Yeah. Well, I think it's – you know? I think in this case, like, he was not able to have a real conversation about it. And he shouldn't have just, like, broken up with her over it. Yeah, that's high drama. I can see, like, from a male.

perspective not trusting other men's intentions. But you shouldn't. Sure. Right. Right. And be like, well, fuck this guy. Like, you shouldn't. Like, don't.

Again, I don't think this was the case, but I could see there being a situation where he'd be like, well, don't talk to that guy if he's going to be inappropriate with you. But what if it doesn't bother her? Yeah. I mean, then it's up to. So that's what the thing is that, like, I don't like it when. But she's keeping the conversation going. a little, so she is responsible for her.

Well, what if she thinks it's funny? I don't have a problem with her talking to the guy. I know you don't. Let's flip at that. A woman is sending Jeff these things, and you're uncomfortable, but Jeff isn't, and he's just like, I'm fine with this. You would want him to stop on your behalf, right? I think you have to consider your partner and how it's making them feel.

I would. And clearly he is not. But I wouldn't break up with him because of it. I don't think that's the right. either. I was like, I'm going to break up with you because this woman keeps sending you this. I mean, I think it would be so weird if a woman was sending it. I can't even.

It's just a weird thing to send in general. Yeah, yeah. Like, why? But, like, I wonder. And he's not like sending her like a dick pit. A dig pit. You know? Yeah.

Like, I have a friend who says, I don't even know if it's true or he's fucking with me, but he says he has a preference for, like, bodybuilder chicks. You know? So I'll send him like scantily clad bodybuilder chicks doing squats and stuff. Like, is that inappropriate if his wife saw it? No. No, because it's, no, I don't think so. I don't think so.

But if it made her uncomfortable, I think that's a conversation. I think she's fully aware of his likes and dislikes, right? She probably sends them. She probably sends them. I can't see. Also know your audience, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, I could see there being a situation where it, but I don't think this one is it. Right. Okay. I think we're in a grant that he took it too far. Well, it all just comes back to communicating, like, how it makes you feel. And if that person's friendship with that person means that much. It means more than your feelings towards it.

Then that's what you look at. That's a conversation to evaluate. Yeah, and if it's her friend, if it's really a good friend, I know my friends have had those conversations with other friends. Because of you sending things? No, but like I know certain people in relationships have had to tell certain guy friends like, hey, don't send me that makes my boyfriend feel uncomfortable or whatever. And they'll be like, got it. Yeah. Let's wrap it up.

Boom. Wrap it up, Chris. I'm about to wrap it up, Chris. Something I was born to do. But that's what it is. We spend too much time together. Too much. We share everything.

Okay. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Thanks, Adriena. See you. Bye. That was a headgum podcast.