Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Christa Miller on Marriage, Irish Goodbyes, and Sufjan Stevens

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Christa Miller [Drew Carey Show, Scrubs, Shrinking] talks with Rachel and Olivia about her marriage with Bill Lawrence, raising Charlotte Lawrence, and her obsession with rocks. They also discuss therapy, how to pronounce Sufjan Stevens, and Irish goodbyes. Broad Ideas is supported by Talkspace. Get $100 off your first month at Talkspace.com/IDEAS. Broad Ideas is supported by Sundays for Dogs. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/IDEAS or use code IDEAS at checkout for 35% off your first order. Broad Ideas is supported by  SpiiderGriip. Go to SpiiderGriip.com and use discount code IDEAS at checkout and receive 30% off and Free Shipping! Broad Ideas is supported by Zocdoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/IDEAS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

I always like starting it like I'm starting a commercial. Welcome to broad ideas. Welcome to movie phone. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. Hey. Hey.

How you doing? Swell. So good. You guys are really, you know what you guys are? Articulate and you speak for long periods of time. Today, I mean, really, really, really, really love today. the whole day. The whole entire day.

Krista Miller is on our show today. We had Charlotte, her beautiful daughter, earlier on in the year. Who wrote our theme song? Who wrote our theme song. That's right. Which is, by the way, a banger. Yeah. Just kind of want to just put it on in the car with the windows down.

You know what I mean? Have you done that before? Many times. And I say sometimes. times when the world feels insane. She got her start on the Drew Carey show. She also, of course, was on Scribs and Cougar Town, but her, why am I doing that now?

I don't know. What's happening to your voice? I don't know. I'm sorry, I apologize. Please don't come after me. I'm sorry. And her new show, Shrinking, which is out now with Jason Siegel and Harrison Ford on Apple TV Plus.

We get to sit down and speak with the. beautiful, amazing Krista Miller. Sometimes when the world inside of Rachel's little brain all these starts are swirling round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride.

We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that I make you... Because people die. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. And talking to us today. And Leah's here with us on the mic.

Olivia is out of town, but she's on the computer. And Georgie. Right. And Georgie's here. It's a full party. It is a party. Party pod. And Charlotte's probably going to bust in here.

Well, we'll see. We'll see. So we had Charlotte on, which was an amazing interview. She was so open and beautiful and such an honest conversation. and that's obviously your beautiful daughter. And like I was saying before, what an amazing job you've done. And what an amazing little girl. She's not a little girl.

She's not a little girl. She's a woman now. I met her when she was a little girl. Yeah, how old was she when you met her? 14. Wow. Damn. Krista, I have a question as a mother.

Did she come out that way? Or was... Like that beautiful? No, no, no, no. Obviously, she came out that beautiful. She's remarkably gorgeous, talented. but she's one of the kindest people. I mean, it could bring me to tears. She legit is one of the kindest humans I've ever come across. Yeah. For real. Was her nature like that when she was a little

baby? Or how'd you do it? It's definitely not for me. I mean, she's much warmer than I am. I learned from her. You know, she gave me a lecture about some of a friend of bills that I just have no interested in. She's like, Mom, you won in life. Just be lovely and gracious. I was like, you're right. You're right. You know, I learned from her, but she was always sweet. Bill and I were, we were strict with all of our children, but she was always kind, and she's truly kind.

She's not like sometimes kind. I was talking to Ben Gibbard, who's Death Cab. And he produced her album that's going to be released soon. And he said to me, the first time that she came in, that she was asking the P.S. days, people that are just interning there, people that no one even knows their names, what their names were. Did they want coffee, you know, engage them? She's like that all the time.

I just think it's in her nature. She's very sweet. Yeah. Very. I want to be more like her. I do too. Well, she's 30 minutes away, according to this Texas. All right.

When she gets here, will you go grab her? Well, I do too. But all my children are kind. I mean, I think Bill and I were very big on manners and being polite. They're not so much with us. But Leah can attest to... I can attest to that because I have known this family since Charlotte was 14. She's 22.

So how many years? Let's do the math. I'm so bad at math. It's like eight years. Yeah, eight years. I've had the honor of knowing this family for eight years. And I love you, all of you. I mean, I've watched your boys grow up into men.

And it's just, I feel like part of your family. Yeah, we love Leah. I used to, just for our backstory, for our listeners, I used to work for Krista in her home as her assistant. And so I got to, you know, when you're in someone's home, you get really close to the people. And especially just her and I, our personalities, we just immediately, I think we initially bonded over music. Yeah. And also Mariska Hargitay, loves Leah. Marisha. The Hargeta tape, which by the... She loves me.

Yeah, because we... That is my claim to fame. So we had a house of Malibu, and so I let Mariska stay there for a week. And so I sent Leah to set her up and make sure she was cozy. And Mariska's like, I want Leah to come back with me to New York. Well, who is this sunshine? It was like this ray of sunshine of like, no problem. And I, of course, have written all this, like, anal retentive notes going, no doing this.

And no, don't put this in the toilet, you know, to smell. And Leah's like, don't worry about it. I got it. Don't worry about it. You just do it every one. I'll take care of it after. But Mariska wanted to steal her. She would have gladly stolen her for me.

That was my highlight because I love SBU and I would watch that all the time. Most people like watch that to go to sleep. Leah, you said something that when you work in someone's home, you obviously get close to them. And that's not true. No, it's, you're right. I was going to say that's not true as well. And it says a lot about you as a person that you did get close to Leah and that your family got close to her. Is it like that with everyone you guys work with?

Well, a lot of people, I mean, I've had, we had hired someone named Kelly Shuna, who is our nanny when I think Charlotte was little like five or six. And she's still with our family. She's not their nanny, but she's part of our family. She just this year went and she's getting her private pilots license, which is really cool. And then she's been home for a couple weeks and we're just so grateful that she's home. But she runs our house and she's part of our family. We also don't travel without Kelly or do anything without her. You know, also I have, as we all are, Bill and I both work.

So we had to have people in our house that we love, not only trusted them, trusted their moral. compass. Their ethics about, you know, believed in what we believed about manners and polite and having chores and having follow through. And we, our housekeepers has been the same housekeepers that we've had. So yes, I think it's we treat the family unit as a team and everyone is beloved. And even though Leah went off to do other things, she's still part of our family. Also, our weekend nanny, her name is Brittany. She is now. Queen. Queen. Queen. She's the queen. Queen. Swear on your underwear. She's just the funniest person ever. She is now Bill's assistant. Yeah.

And is a big job at Dewzer, his production company. Wow. So like we keep, we want everyone close. And you know, Bill hires the same people. I'm probably talking too much, but he hires the same people over and over. Yeah. You guys are loyal. We are loyal and we love who we love.

And that doesn't change. Right. That speaks to you all of your character as well. You know, keeping the people and loyalty and all of that, I think, is also a really beautiful characteristic. You know? Yeah. Because especially in the business that you guys are in and all the people that are in it to have, like, real loving and good people. You don't come across that so often, I think.

I mean, you know, there's a few. And you've been doing this for so long, and your career has been amazing. I mean, how'd you get into it? You know, I always wanted to be an actress. I had my mom's mom, I had a grandmother who always said I was going to be an actress. My mom was a supermodel, but she's very shy and reserved. And I was always rambunctious and energetic and all of that. And I didn't meet my biological father until I was 17, but his sister was an actress named Susan St. James. You're probably too young to know who she is, but she was on the show called McMillan and Wife. And then she was on a show called Kate Now. with Jane Curtin. She hosted Saturday Night Live. I mean, she was a big actress. And I hadn't met her, but I was like, you know, if she can do it, I can do it.

Right. And I just wanted to. And then I was able to kind of slide into it because I modeled in my late teens. And so I was able to with Ford, you know, they used to have a, if you were modeling, then you could be with their commercial department. And I booked a Polaroid commercial. And then, you know, I got my sag card. Yeah.

But still, then it took me a while to get the. I mean, I had other little jobs, but then my first big job was Drew Carey Show. Oh. And that's a big job. That's a really big job. That was a big job that was like by the skin of my teeth. The reason I got that job, I always, every time I see Larry David to ease his talent. Rachel's favorite human.

He is. That's my celebrity crush of all time. Oh, my God, he's my favorite. I just saw, and he was with somebody who goes, tell the story. He has me tell the story every time. So I had done two Seinfelds, and I had just done my second Seinfeld, and I had a big guest star episode. I played George's girlfriend that didn't care if you wore velvet or whatever, but I was in a lot of scenes. And so I had a lot of scenes.

And also because, anyway, so Jerry was dating someone, and it was Valentine's Day, whatever. So I was in a lot of scenes. So the Drew Carey show, we went down, you know, you go to studio, you go to network, you go to you test, you test, you see how much money that you might make. Rachel knows this, you know, and you're like, huh. And the note I got back from my agent, they said, and I just done the Seinfeld the week before, and Saddle was that big hit show. Everything was secretive, you know, and no one could talk about or anything.

And they said, they think that you might be too green. They were like, can you get the Seinfeld tape? I'm like, I don't know anyone there. Like, but you did it twice. I call up the office and Larry David picks up. What? And I'm like, Larry, here's the situation. I have not now talked to anyone.

No one was like, I wasn't like chatting, hanging with them. I was a guest star. You know, it was like a 20-something. Yeah, they were brand new. Nothing. And I said, I could get this show. Could I please, please get the tape. And I lived on the little cranian and they were at Radford.

Can I get the tape? Bring it to ABC. I promise I'll wait for it and bring it back. Please. And he goes, and it was like rough. It was just whatever. He goes, yeah. So I drove to Robert in those days.

I only spoke for like four years, but I smoked chain smoking, chain smoking. We all did. Drove over to Radford, picked up the tape like that scene in broadcast news. Then it drove over the canon because ABC was like on the other side of the hill, sweating in the same clothes because like I still had that, Rachel, do you know, so like the same clothes I'd auditioned. I even delivered the tape in the same clothes that I went to. That's how dorky.

That's really precious. That's tender. So like these clunky boots. So with my Rachel haircut. So I deliver the tape and I have to wait. So I sat at ABC. And now it's like 8 o'clock at night. I get the tape.

I drive it back. And then when I got home, the executive producer of Dukeri show said, well, well, do you want to come, you know, be a part of the show? Welcome to Hollywood. Holy crap. That's insane. It was insane. What a story.

How young were you? In my 20s. It happened, okay. Yeah. Like 25 maybe. Yeah, I'm just trying to picture like, you know, just hustling across L.A. and waiting for you. In my green Ford Explorer. Oh, my God.

I was just going over the, you know. And I mean, there were not enough cigarettes in the world to go. And I've just, in my mind, it was like a whole day event and then sitting at ABC, like outside in my sweaty. audition closed. I mean, the best thing about this is that Larry David answered the phone when you call it. It's like the baseball, you know, because when you hear he said George's.

When I told him, he goes, these are my two stories. I saved a guy's life and I made your career. He made a career. He saved a guy's life. I'm like, well, no. We have to have Larry. Baseball story when that guy was going to go to prison, but he said he was at the baseball game.

Do you remember this? And then they had, oh my God. So this guy, they had arrested this guy for murder, and he said, no, I was at the baseball game. And he didn't have his stuff. They didn't believe it. Like, it was going. And then someone read about it and remembered that they had been shooting curb your enthusiasm on that day. And they had film of him at the baseball game when the murder was happening.

Oh. Yeah. I just Googled it. Really? I just got chills. That's insane. Yeah. I never knew that.

No. And I mean, and he's. my number one. He's the only celebrity I've ever. I didn't even meet him. He was just in the same vicinity and I started sweating and I had to run the opposite direction. Wasn't I with you? Weren't we in an elevator together at a play? Were you at that play with me? Yeah. Okay. I feel like I could arrange a hookup. I feel like he'd be delighted to me. I agree. I'm like I don't even know if I can, you know like those people. No, he's remarried. He didn't he get remarried? I think he might be single.

I don't know. But I think in any way, in any wet case, I think he'd be delighted to meet you. Yeah, I'm not trying to marry Larry. I love him too. Yeah, no, I think that's like, you know, you have those people where you're like, but if I meet them and they're not as great as I really want them to be? Have you ever met anybody that was like, you know, you were a fan of and it changed your opinion? You don't have to name names.

No, I probably have. But you know what's funny because, you know, I love, you probably don't. But I love Howard Stern, and he's also a friend of mine. But he said he doesn't like meeting his idols because sometimes it's turned out that they don't turn out to be who he thinks they are. But I will say there's a few people that I haven't cared for. And then Howard's done a really in-depth interview with them on his show. He's so incredible at interviewing. And then I'm like, I'm like, oh, I actually like that person and I didn't understand.

And my perception has changed. Oh, wow. Yeah. And this is one of the things I feel like. I've learned from Charlotte is so easy to switch your perception to compassion and kindness and just not having those bad feelings. And you can do it. And it's such a relief to go through life like that. So I'm also very open to it now. That's really, I mean, I need to do that. I need to apply that.

Yeah, you do. Hey. No. No, but just to have that out, that mental outlook is actually. Really, what's the word I'm looking for? Useful. No, it's useful. It's useful. Like, I was telling my shrink that, like, the bill was doing, you know, some annoying thing.

And he does a lot of annoying things. And this was particularly, like, just a loop fight that we could happen. What we're saying, don, it just gets annoying. And then my shrink said, do you want to switch your perception to have some compassion? The bill grew up in this way. And this is what he's trying to get from you. You're not seeing it. It's not coming from a place of him trying to drive.

you crazy. It's coming from this place. And then it like deflated the whole thing. And then also deflated bill. As soon as I stopped, he stopped. It's just weird that things can deflate. I find also Leah knows this too. In my family and my children were very accountable. You know, if I do something, I'll be accountable for it. And I think that's also a great way to deflate any sort of thing going on with a friend or whatever. If you're trying, truly accountable. But it's just like, if someone does it to me, if someone's like, yeah, and my son does it too much, we'll be like, he'll do something. I'm like, that's how he goes, my bad. I'm like, you can't say it that quickly. I'm like, that would be okay. My bad.

In my house, I always say you have to change the pattern then. If you're going to say sorry, there needs to be an action that follows it. So it can't just be sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It has to be actually and I will what in the future? Like, what's the change? Yeah. Otherwise, it's just empty, right? Yeah. Yeah. And try to also, we talk a lot about actions. I mean, saying my bad all the time is it, it's not an action. And sometimes I prefer not to say I will have accountability, but then I want to show it with actions, even with my children. You know, I'm with my youngest one, he's a very high achievable in school. And it was pointed out to me that I, you know, get on him for things and don't reward the positive enough with, you know, my intention. And I thought, that's a really good note. And I want to take action to correct that. And I see that. Because I expect so much of him, I understand. Everyone wants to hear the positive thing. Right. Right. That accountability thing, too, because I remember that was a big thing in your house. And that stayed with me. I took that with me when I left your house. And I strongly, strongly believe that as well because of it.

just like how important it is to say, yeah, dude, I fucked up. And I've done that since then. I've carried that action from your home, just from how strongly you guys like really enforced, not enforce it, but just we're like, this is really important. And have taken accountability for things when I fucked up. And let me tell you, when you take accountability and you own it and you say, look, I fucked up, this is what I did. I'll fix it, whatever.

People respect that so much. And everyone makes mistakes. Yeah. I think people can, I mean, for me, I mean, I think. think because I've made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes, bad decisions for whatever reason. But I think that's so forgivable. What was not forgivable is when you know someone made that mistake and they're lying about it. It gets, like then you're getting into a thing of trust. And that's when you get into this nebulous area of like wanting to create space with that untrustworthy person.

And a person could do something horrible and be accountable and I'm going to fix it and I'm going to go to therapy and I'm going to go do these actions. I've had friends do that. And then you're like, yeah, I've made similar mistakes. Yeah, I agree. How important do you feel, because you said your shrink. And for me personally, I feel like it's so important to always have outside eyes on things. Yep. Because you can't, it's like what, the Einstein thing, right? Like you can't solve the problem from the same consciousness that created it. And so it is always so helpful to have an outside perspective just for those little shifts, how much do you think that's influenced the way you work, the way you parent, the way you're a partner? How do you think being in therapy or

you know, having a shrink or whatever you have? How has that changed your life? I would say in a thousand million ways I'm on board with that. I feel like other people know better than I do. I think other people have 10,000 hours and things that I don't have 10,000 hours in. I have a friend named Robin Berman, who's a doctor and works with women and depression and pregnancy. I've also gone to other moms and go, what have you done that your children are so well-behaved and beautiful? Where did these children go to school. I always ask for help. I'm always interested in learning. I've had the same shrink Phil Stutz who Jonah Hill just made a documentary about on Netflix since Charlotte was six months old. And my kids all know him. He spends Thanksgiving with us. And my kids have all talked to him

separately. And so they've grown up with the tools. The first time I went to see him, I said, I've been doing this and this and arguing my husband. He goes, well, stop fucking doing that. That's not. You work for me now. Stop doing that. And he's shrinking. And he said, and I'm going to show you how to do it. And he is correct.

He gave me hope the first time I saw him. And I felt a way out. I don't need to hear myself talk. I want someone to talk to me who's smarter than I am and has 10,000 hours. Amen. Right? Just read. Yes.

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I love my therapist. I tell her at the end of everything. I'm like, I love you. I'm a photographer as a hobby. An incredible photographer. Well, thank you. And I always, if I, any photographer I work with, I ask them, what do you do this? and how's your lighting and who's this?

I have a lot of photographers that are friends by now because I've, Sam Jones, who's a great photographer, who's now a director, but he taught me so many things. I love, don't you love learning from other people? Just asking questions. Something at my new job that I've been told is if you're the smartest person in the room, then you're in the wrong room. And I use that because I'm definitely never the smartest person in the room. I always think I'm the smartest person.

Yeah, I'm like, every room. I feel like, I kind of know. Not with this particular job. I'm definitely not. No, I don't think so. Yeah. I'm like, no. I get depressed if I'm not learning. Yeah, me too. Like, I feel like that's what keeps me out of depression. Like, if I can learn something new or look at something different, because if we're just, like, stagnant, oh, it's kind of death, right?

Yeah. And also when you're acting, I think you're going through times that you're working and you're not working. And for me, I can go into a depression. If I don't keep up with doing my photography or, you know, making sure my French is current or, you know, whatever it is or doing music work for Bill. Because if I don't, I see the depression creep in. And Leah is experiencing this with me that then I don't want to check emails. I don't want to speak to anyone on the phone. I do less and less. And so now I'm really good at saying, okay, so here's going to be this month that I have this month of time.

I have to keep a very strict schedule. Krista, Georgie, you know me with depression because I have. I have depression as well. And Olivia and Rachel know that as well. So does my brother. And Krista Girls, Ray, Lou, is like me and how she retreats. You know, like that checks out. I'm the same.

You and I are the same that way. Yeah. Yeah. What tools have you learned to help cope with that? Well, now, I don't even, I'm, the last time I felt that way was probably like four years ago. And I so don't want to feel that. way that even if I feel like there's a loose day of, I really have to keep a schedule. And luckily, I've been, you know, between music work and acting work busy. But even in the

days like shrinking, I don't work every day of the week. We have a big cast and they have to service everyone. The free day I'm working out, I'm, you know, doing other things. And I am very involved with my kids. You know, it's hard to check out when you have kids. So I would obviously not check out with my kids, but I don't like that feeling. I can't feel stagnant. I have to be in forward motion. And as Phil would say, as you get older, your world should expand, not get smaller. So I've been trying to expand and see friends. And look, a schedule could be meeting a friend for lunch. You know, going for a hike with a friend and then, you know, like, it doesn't have to, you don't have to be working. Right. It's motion. Yeah. Forward motion.

Yep. Yeah. You sound a lot like myself. I feel like there, you do. I feel, I read recently that there's peace and discipline. And it is those disciplines that bring us peace. A lot of times people think, oh, I need a break. Right. But oftentimes during those breaks is when the depression comes. And it's like maybe you don't need a break. Do you need more disciplines in your life? And Charlotte was telling you. me that because I've been binging shrinking, it's outstanding. You're hilarious and you're absolutely incredible. And she's like, and she really tumbles rocks. Yes. You do? Yeah. Oh, not only to. I mean, I look for, I love agates and I have a whole cabbing machine and I have a saw. It's so nerdy. No, I want to hear about this. Oh, yeah. It's amazing. It's so nerdy. And it's, I'm obsessed with with rocks and making them and then I tumble them and then... I have some of your tumbled rocks. Yeah.

Wait, how did this come about though? When did you discover your love for rocks? I think when I was little, I had one of those little tumblers and I remember loving it. And then I saw it again like 10 years ago, like somewhere and I was like, I want to tumble rocks. Yeah. And then I had found some agates. And agates when you tumble them are like marbles. And you can find them in secret play.

in the Santa Monica Mountains. And then I've got a calving machine because before you tumble them if you, oh, it's so nerdy and boring. It's so nerdy and amazing. But it is meditation. I can be out there for three hours and I'm like, it's meditation for me. Yeah. And I love it. And if you do them really well, then they tumble really well. And I do keep them in glass jars by my window in my bathroom. But my kids and their kids' friends will come and say, can I pick out an agate? because they feel so good, and I dumped them all out on the bed. And all of Charlott's friends, and my boys too will say to me, I still have the rock that the rock that you gave me.

I know. We want one. Yeah, I want one. They're beautiful. It is. But I find in all those little, like the hobbies or whatever it is, and I had to arrange all these flowers for a baby shower. And it was the most peaceful.

So I took like a big majority of the day, just literally arranging flowers. They were beautiful. They were beautiful. Yeah. I love to do that. Are you good at that? She is. I don't know.

I mean, I like it. Yes, you are. I mean, I, yeah. Did you make that one? Yeah, but those are just. She's also very good at charcuterie. Oh, that's my new thing. Oh, I love a cheese charkoos.

She's so good at it. It's so soothing. I don't know if it's because I'm a Virgo. Like, there's a weird part of my brain that like putting certain things together just really feels good. See, I don't have that skill and I love that. The flowers, I try. I just. It's a skill.

It is. Krista, what's your sign? Gemini. Gemini. And Charlotte. Oh, yeah. Both Gemini's. What's Bill?

Capricorn. I don't know much about Capricorn. Sophia. What about you? I'm a Libra. Oh, I get along with Libra. That was my grandmother was a Libra. So how did you and Bill meet?

I don't think I know the story of you guys. I was dating an actor and we went to go to New York. I was on the Drew Carey show. Bill had created a show called Spin City with Mike Fox. She was a show. And we went to New York for the Up Fronts, which is the big celebration they have. And they show all the shows. And then my friend, Jamie Tarsis, was the president of ABC, who's now deceased and it's sad.

But anyway, she was having a party at the Mercer Hotel. And my actor boyfriend had a tantrum because ABC wouldn't give him some backpoints on a show and blah. And so at 11 o'clock at night in the pouring rain, he's like, I'm not. going with you to the party. And I went down to the party. I was already kind of over him. Yeah. I went down to the party.

And he was friends with this actor named Alan Ruck. Yeah. On Succession, who was on Spin City. And Alan said, come meet my producer and my cast. And Bill stood up in this little suit. And I was like, oh, my God. Here's an actor that I was dating was not tall and that tall. And I, and Bill stood up in his little suit.

And he was the producer and not an actor. And I was like, pot. And so handsome and I was like, okay, wait, I got to rethink. My life. And then it took like a year for us to get together. We became friends and talked on the phone. How cute. Yeah, it was cute.

And he said, you know what happened was he said to me, now I grew up in the city, so I grew up in Manhattan. So he said, I just got this loft across the street. You want to see it. And I was like, I'd like to see a loft. Like, I had never seen a loft. You grew up there. Yeah.

So we walk across this. street and I'm flirting, flirting. And we go up the elevator and I'm not going to say who it was, but there was another actress in the elevator who had a crush on Bill, which I didn't know. And I said to her, he's cute. And she goes, he's a player, which Bill is not a player. Stop it. And the night before he had had a party in his loft for the up front people.

So his loft was just the cigarette butts. I was like, oh, this is a guy that smokes. Party. Like parties. He had a player. I don't want to go out. So he said, can I have your number? And I said, well, I'm still dating somebody.

If you can find my number, you can call me. But I had that. And then I, of course, found out Bill it's just not a player. Not even remotely a player. He's obsessed with you. Wait, Alan Ruck introduced you guys? Oh, my God. Connor from Succession.

Yes. And Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yes. I'm iconic. Wait, who is he in Ferris Bueller. He's the best friend. Yeah, he's what's the name? Oh, my God.

The guy who pushes the car. With the Porsche that goes out of Ferrari. Cameron. Cameron. He's a really good actors. Cameron. He's so good and so lovely. Oh, my God.

Yeah, he introduced us. And it's so funny. Isn't it interesting how you can have such misconceptions of people? And that immediately in your mind, you're like, player, partier, like your walls go up. And that could have derailed the whole thing. Yeah. You know? But it was like player.

Like, why would, I didn't know she had a crush at him. Right. And then the loft was trying to derail you. Yeah. And also one of the heads of ABC at the time goes, people were climbing up the fire escape. I'm like, who is like the sky with his new loft. Like, I'm so not into it. Oh, my God.

That is so funny. But even now, like, hearing that story, and I know I'm, like, a psycho. But I'm, like, thinking of the other actors and I'm like, oh, you're trying after my man. You know, like, automatically, like, that competitive, like, no, no, no. And even though you've been married for many years with family. But that also makes them more attractive. Of course. Someone else likes them.

Yeah, well, because I thought he was a little bit of a bad boy. Yeah. So then I got to know. Also, he used to do this cool thing when he talked to me. He would talk like this and I was like, why do you smoke? He goes, no, I've never had a cigarette in my life. He was putting on a whole persona. He would do cool guy voice.

He would do cool guy voice. But, you know, it was good because we were friends, we were phone friends for, you know, almost a year before we had our first official date. What year did you guys meet? 1998. So was this cell phone or was this like a home phone situation? I think there was cell phones. But then sometimes I remember one time he called me from the pay phone. It was freezing.

He didn't have a phone service in his house. But the thing is, is that I had then started dating someone casually out here because also Bill was in New York and working 24 hours a day. And we would call and I tell him, oh, I'm seeing someone. And then so I had met him like May. So the Thanksgiving, I was in New York and I walked by his, I was by the Mercer Hotel and I walked by his loft. I thought, I wonder if that cute Bill Lawrence is still around. I hadn't spoken to him for a few months. And I called him and he didn't call me back.

It was a Saturday. And then on Tuesday he called me. He said, I was in Puerto Rico. He said, but you better be single. And I said, I am. And he said, I'm going to fly out Saturday and take you to dinner. And so he flew out Saturday and took me to dinner. Oh, my God.

Wow. He knew what he wanted. And we went to Orso. And he's never looked back. Yeah. And that was it. Yeah. One of these questions was, because you guys have been together a long time.

Yeah. And you guys have a really badass marriage. Like, it's really a beautiful relationship. And that's really hard. That's a hard thing to do. Like, not a lot of people can do that. Do you have any tips? Like, what are your tricks and tips?

Oh, my God. You just, well, first of all, I think it's lucky because Bill and I both have the same sense of humor. Oh, my God. That's true. Yeah. You guys do laugh. didn't make me laugh as much as he did. That's important.

Yeah. That would be a disaster. Yeah. Wait, how long did you guys date before you got married? We started dating. So, like, that Thanksgiving. Of 98? Yeah.

And then he asked me to marry him at Wimbledon that July. July. Yeah. And then we thought it would take a while to get pregnant. And I got pregnant with. than like a week with Charlotte. And we were supposed to get married the following May. And then I called up my school in New York

has a beautiful chapel common of the Sacred Heart. It's on 91st. It's a beautiful building. They shoot a lot of movies there. Yeah. Sex in the city they saw it. Yeah. And I called up and one of my classmates

was running the wedding thing. And she said, someone just dropped out the Saturday after Thanksgiving. And so we got pregnant. I mean, I got married when I was three months pregnant. How many months pregnant? Three. Three.

So I could still fit into my. I was talking. Were you showing at all? No, no. Oh, my God. I guess you don't show it three months, really. So you were, wow. So that was instant.

And then so fertility has been good to you. Good to me. But the first to be, I wouldn't recommend being pregnant in your first year of marriage. I think that's hard. And you miss like a year of fun that you could have fun and to be thrown into a marriage. In the honeymoon phase, essentially. And we're both working. And I had never lived with someone before.

Damn. You know, it was a lot. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot. It is a lot. And you're not yourself when you're pregnant. Like I know, I was kind of, with my second pregnancy, I was pretty awful.

And I didn't even want to be touched. I'd be like, don't, like, I can't imagine in the first year I would have turned my husband off of me for sure. It was definitely hard. Yeah. Yeah. Charlotte's here. Charlotte's here. How many children do you have?

I have one. You have one. I have one girl. She's eight. And I mean, I had a great pregnancy. It was, you know, and we had been together for a long time before. So we did have a lot of that. You know, and people always say to do as much as you can before you have kids. So to do it opposite, I can imagine what that was like. That's hard. Yeah, that's tough. But yeah, but seeing that you guys have been together for so long and have this family and still made it work. But it is definitely something that when it happens, it can really, you know, it affects. sex a relationship. And, like, for me, we co-slept. So Breyer was in bed with me, like, because that's the only way I could function, you know? Like, she wakes up and I stick my boob in her mouth. Like, there was no other way.

And but then she stayed in her bed. She's still in my bed. But that's not a story. You know, but that's also like, and then the relationship doesn't get as much attention physically for sure. But, you know, there's all the things that come into it. So it's interesting to do it before you have all of that. On the flip side, though, my history of the.

dating has been fleeing relationships and, you know, getting into the relationship, enjoying that just for a little while, and then I want to retreat and get out and I'm out. So I couldn't do that. Do you think you would have? I don't know. I mean, my past history wasn't good. Yeah, that was your pattern, right? Yeah, 100% of the time. So was it accidental, were you surprised when you found out you were pregnant? No, we, we, we, we, I went off birth control, my birth control bill, but I didn't realize that I would get pregnant in three days. Like we were trying to, like, yeah, just like get you off, get your body regulated. Yeah, I mean, I was 33. I mean, like, we were just thinking, like, I'll just get to go off it and, and then we got pregnant right away. And then we worked it out. And also,

it's been kind of fun because I feel like every year our marriage has gotten better. Yeah. Wow. You know, as opposed to, so we started, like, it was just hard. We didn't hate each other. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't thinking of leaving him or anything like that. but it was hard. Broad Ideas is supported by Spider Grip. Oh no. Did you drop your phone again? You need to get a spider grip.

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Right. That's hard to navigate in a new marriage. I think that marriage is hard in general and to have such a long successful. Charlotte. Speaking of the baby that popped out, you forgot your shoes? Like you left your house with no shoes? Does she have a. Charlotte just walked in with no shoes on.

Come. Come in. But here. Sit on my lap. Yeah. Say hello. Show me your face, Charlotte. I'm in the computer.

I'm so glad you. Damn. Hi, bunny. We got Archie here. We got the whole crew. This is a packed house. But yeah. Are you going to go into those?

Oh, the questions? Well, I was just looking at them. I'm sitting here with really funny questions that I want to ask. Okay, I'm going to ask this one. Krista, because Krista, you have an amazing sense of humor, which is true. And you imbilt to each other laughing nonstop, which is a huge secret to success. Or maybe not so much secret. Who do you think is the funniest person alive or dead?

I love Tignitaro. Oh, hell yeah. I love Nate. I love him. We love him. We love him. And I love him. And I love, who's the other guy we?

Yeah, Tom's chigra. I love all three. And I love Howard Stern. Of course. And Bill Lawrence. And Bill Lawrence is the funniest of all of them. I love all those people. I love all those people too.

You showed me, Lou, you showed me, what's his name? Nate Burgotsie. I've made everyone sit down and watch it with me. It's so funny. She's forced. Oh, I like, I also love Beth Stelling. I don't know. She's really funny.

Is she a standout? Yeah. Beth Stelling. Yeah. I'm adding her to my... Oh, she's really funny. And Chelsea Hamler. Yes.

Yep. Yeah. It's all the snarky. Yeah. Oh, the snarky. We love the snarky. The snarky. The snarky.

Beth. Okay. What? Nope, I'm not saying that. If you... What's your... First and last concert? First concert was the police at CBGBs.

in New York when I was like 13 and it was their first concert in America. Wow. Yes. That's my really cool. Last one was Elton John. No, yours. Sorry, Charlotte Lawrence. I was thinking, sorry.

Now she's crying. That's amazing. Awesome with Charlotte Lawrence. Oh my gosh. That's funny. Well, music, also I was going to say this earlier, but one of the things you and I bonded over initially when I first met you was music. Yes.

Because Krista has an iconic taste in music, and all of us in here are obsessed with music. Thank you. And obviously her daughter. So you do the music for all the shows? Yeah. That must be so fun. It's so fun.

Well, it's the most fun when you're on the show. Because I use music, you know, I use it as a tool when I'm working. And I think a lot of actors do. And so when I'm also thinking of the music for the show, I can just listen to, what I want for that week. I often, you know, and Charlotte helps me a lot

with the music that I'll say I'm, I always call her like, I'm desperate for this. You have to drop everything. I can't find this. And then also, if I'm arguing with Bill, because he, sometimes we had an argument about Seth Jen Stevens and Bill was like, no, no, that's the young people won't know.

And I called Charlotte. I was like, you better call your dad right now. I'm telling him that all the young people, when they're sad, listens to stuff John Stevens. And she goes, I'm calling them right now. And then we got it, and then we got it through. That was my favorite thing ever because it was a part in the show that they were like, oh, look, he just listening to a really sad song.

And my mom shows the lyrics that go, you have cancer. When you found out, you had cancer of the bone because the scene was, she's listening to sad music. And Sean was in her room going, oh, we're not listening. You can't listen to this song. And it was, you know, when you found out you had cancer of the bone from stuff, Jen, Steven. Is that the name of the song?

No, it's called Casimir Pulaskiy. Yeah. Yeah. I love that song. I thought his name was perhaps Sufyan until mom and I talked. So what is it? Because I don't know to say it. Suffjan.

Suffjan. Suff Jan. That's what I was like a Sufjan. I've been corrected. I called him Suff Jan and somebody corrected me and said it's sup young. I was sure. I think it's self-Jan. No, I think you're right.

I think it is. Listen, I didn't hear anything in the comments like it's not Sep Jan. No, we did that thing. So I was assuming it's. Chef Jan. And Charlotte's like, no, I think it's Sufi. And I'm like, I'm sure it's not. I just always like, I just never say someone's name if I'm not sure. Or if you know, when you meet someone like a million times and you should know their name, but you don't. I hate that. Babe. That's a good go-to.

Do you have this happen? I've had this happen with like writing partners or two people to share the same job that I never know which one is one, even though I know. Oh, yeah. Like, right. If two people share a job. and I get into, I never know which one is, which, and I'll know them for years and years and years. It's the worst. And you can't be like, there's a friend's episode about that where the guy that he works with calls him by the wrong name, but it's been five years. So he can't correct him at this point. Wait, Olivia, what was the question we were going to ask about friends? Oh, which friend's character do you identify with most? Like, which friend's character are you? Hmm. I'd have to go with Jen. Yeah.

You had the Rachel haircut. Yeah, I did. I had the, I'd have to go with Jen, whom I love. Yes. But I love Courtney, too. Yeah. And Lisa, too. All of them.

Phoebe for sure. I mean, I'm Phoebe. Drop all those names on. I'm Phoebe's here. Oh, you're all Phoebe's? Kind of a Monica. What? Rachel's giving Monica.

Virgo. I'm not a Monica. It's the Virgo thing. I'm Monica when I throw a shower. You're Ross. I can see Ross. I'm just kidding. What the hell, man?

They're all good. I got Monica and Ross. I love Ross. Ross is me. Oh, here's a good question. By good. Would you ever date 50 cents? So random.

We had Chelsea on. That was one of the questions. I said, keep this one. We like to recycle. I feel like it's not a fair question because I'm married. And I don't think my husband would like me to date other people. We just stop seeing other people recently. Ooh, I like this one because I don't think, I don't know if any, maybe I'm wrong.

What makes you jealous in a relationship? I'm not jealous of Bill, but I think it's more of a respect thing. I don't like to see when other. women are flirting with my husband and I'm around and I think it's so rude. Oh, yeah. Because you just, you can't do that. No. Right.

And I just, like, feel like, what are you doing? Yeah. Does that make him more attractive to you, though? Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, sometimes it's kind of attractive. Yeah. Makes him more desirable.

Yeah. You always want the guy that, you know. Yeah, of course. Oh, no, I love it. But, yeah. I also find it. Wait, put the mic. Put the mic.

And I'm trying to get. One of her best. is that she's not a jealous person and has never been jealous over her friends and whenever her friends get big movies or cool things or even if you guys were up for the same role, you're just happy for them and feel great. Thank you. You're not a jealous. Yeah, I have so many character defects, but being jealous is not one of them.

Neither for you, Bub. No, I'm not jealous. No. Well, with boys, it's a different thing. But with my friends, I'm not jealous. With your boyfriend. No, but that's... My boyfriend sometimes.

Sometimes. If it's deserved. It's always a reason. Are you jealous, Rachel? I can be. I think it's more... I'm super supportive in friendships. Like, I totally agree with that, you know.

But I definitely can be. You're not. Not even remotely. Leah's the least. I wish I could channel more of her when it comes to that stuff because I just... It's like toxic. It's poison, right? Jealousy if it's in you.

You don't want to have the feeling. And I've gotten better. Over the years? Yeah, with your friends, definitely no. But. I would say, hey. Putting her on blacks. You know what goes along?

So I'm not jealous. I'm also not nosy. Oh, I'm nosy. You're not nosy at all? No. No, it's like annoying too because it's like, you know how you want people? Like you'll be like, oh my God, Krista's something. And she's like, oh, cool.

And it's like, no, no, no. Like, ask me what happened. Don't you want to know? Is nosy like snooping through like? It's a lot of things. It's like if someone does, I feel like if you don't want to tell me, you don't want to tell me. I don't love gossiping either, but I've gotten better about it. I've worked out.

I've gotten better. Like if Charlotte had, even when she was 15 years old and being so bratty, if she had her diary on her bed and forgot it, I wouldn't read it. Yeah. So that's nosy. If you had read it, that would be like a nosy thing. Snoopy. So like a boyfriend, you know, obviously when you weren't married and the phone's out, you would have no. urge to look through it.

In my day before I got married, the real cell phones out. You're not going through Bill's cell phone and looking. I would never go through his cell phone. I wouldn't do that either. You also don't need to go through Bill's cell phone? He's obsessed with you.

But I mean, there's a couple that do do that. Yeah, there are. I wouldn't go through Daryl's phone. No. But even if I was curious about one of my kids up to something, I just wouldn't snoop. I did bust into one of my children's room.

a couple weeks ago and found something and they got in trouble, but that's my room. I own that house. Yeah, of course. I was looking for Easter eggs and found, I found something I did monetize in there. A different kind of Easter egg. Oh, God.

Different brand of egg than Easter. Henry or Will? Henry. Oh, the choice. I admire that, though, like to have the, you know, restraint, like not to need to know. not to have that desire to like if it's right in front of you. I think that's actually admirable because there's many people that would not hold back.

Yes. But I'm also not married to someone that's doing tricky things. My kids, I feel like we have very honest relationships. I don't feel. But even, no, but even when she was not maybe so honest to. Do you guys share locations with each other on Find My Friends? No, but I would share my location with Charlotte. I have no.

I share my location with Charlotte. We just, yeah, I mean, I would not. Yeah. Everyone shares their location with Georgie. Krista doesn't share her location. Uh-oh, Krista. No, I don't share my location with people. But I like to be secretive and private.

Okay. Have soliditude. But the funniest thing is at Easter party, I was like, where? I was talking to Kenya. I go, where is Charlotte? And she goes, oh, I have her location. Let me just check. She's just passing by UCLA.

Dude, Georgie has ever... We went to a beach birthday party the other day. See, that's why it comes in handy. Literally, George, a friend of mine that, like, it's like a friend... Georgie's not even... It's not like he would ever talk to this person if it wasn't for me. And he's like, oh, hold on, I have a location. I'll tell you where she's a little bit.

I'm like, how do you have Martin's location? It's so funny to me. He gets everybody's, I don't know. I have this thing set up this like emergency thing on my phone. Me too. That it has mom, dad, Kelly, Leah. I know. And Andrew, and if I ever, if I'm ever in trouble, I click my button five times and it sends my location to all those people with like, hey, I'm in trouble.

Can you set that up on my phone? Yeah, but yeah. I might be kidnapped. You might be kidnapped. I am cute as a button. I mean, I would be kidnapped. It's why I can't ever go to Dubai. I know I'd be kidnapped right away.

You would be kidnapped. Yeah, I can't know. You're very kidnappable. I apologize for assuming. Thank you. Wait, but you've gotten her a murder? Yes, I've gotten it once before. On accident, she did it.

Oh, okay. And I was like, are you okay? Sorry, because the text is like, I'm calling 911. Yeah, and it drops a pin of where the location is if they are. Also, just, by the way, so Charlotte and I'm having an argument last weekend that was very serious because I said to her, if I get murdered, I don't want to be on a date line episode. I just don't. Why? Because it's just, I'm private.

And I just feel like I'm a private person. everyone's talking. And then Charlotte said, but what if they still haven't found the murderer? I'm like, with me, I mean, you're going to find the murder pretty quickly. It's going to be dead. So it's always the husband.

Always the husband. It's always the husband. A strong smell of bleach in the garage. And then Charlotte feels like she'd like that she'd be cute on a date line episode and she would want to do it and she'd then get a lot of sympathy. Yeah. I agree.

Just Leah, I don't want to. No. See, you guys are all going to do it. And be five. You didn't have no one. My spot. Rachel's like, I want in that date line.

Yeah, I'm like, hold on. I kind of always want to be a detective. That's my private. Like, that's, I would love to be a private, like a forensic detective. That's my dream. A thousand percent. I love for. So much SVU.

That's what we were talking about. I don't know if you guys do it too. We're, mom and I, every single time we hang out, we'll watch five hours in this view. It's the best thing ever. I'll go into a hole. Yeah, but people, like, do you watch it right before bedtime? because this is nice. Yeah, to go to sleep.

Olivia relates to this. SV or Dateline to sleep. Dateline, SvU, forensic files is another good one. There's a new show, or I don't know if it's new. It's on Hulu. I watched the whole thing, of course. It's called I survived a serial killer. What?

And it's so good. And it's like people that they survived a serial killer. And that's what you watch at night before sleep. And that is very good stuff to watch. The human psychology is Lou a question. around women being obsessed with crime shows. Murder shows. She does have a theory, and it's a good one.

I have my own theory. I know the theory that's going around is that women like to know how to protect themselves, but I don't think that's it. That's not why I watch it. I think that what happens, when we're watching these types of shows, our animal body wakes up

and we kind of go into that fight or flight, and it puts us so present in the moment that we can't think about the things we need to do. We can't think about things. things. We're so present that our anxiety is so high in a way that gives us something to do that it's actually a fucking break from our minds. And that's why I think we do it. Oh, that's totally smart and great. That's really interesting. And you can't be on your phone. You're not doing anything else. No. Nothing. That's actually true. Whenever I watch a good, one of these good, it's one of the few shows that I

watch that I don't look at my phone while I'm watching. Like most shows, I always have my phone. But a good date line? With Keith. With Keith. I just. Just a good. You know if he's on.

It's the good one. You know it's a good one when Keith's on. I remember doing an interview once and it was over the phone. And they were like VJs and I forget what station. And Keith Morrison came on to talk to me and I geeked out. Yeah. But then I realized they were just playing a recording for me. Oh my God.

To fuck with me and I fully fell for it. And I got so. I would be in a rage. Oh my God. I was so mad. I think like my pranks. I don't like pranks. You don't like pranks?

You don't like pranked? No. Or being scared. Really? I don't like that. I was going to ask like, what's a big pet peeve? Would you call it a pet peeve? Bill says I'm not allowed to say pet peeve because I have so many peeves.

What is you say what's a funny one of my pet peeves? What peeves you? What's a funny peeve of mama? She doesn't like cracking knuckles. Don't do it. She can't. If you scare her, if you walk in the, even if you just walk in the, even if you just walk in, in tiptoeing and you go, hey, and she gets through.

So like Halloween horror nights is not. If you wake her up during nap time, if you walk near her door during nap time. If you walk within 20 feet of her door during nap time. My kids also say a little. If you ask to control the music on her car, because it's her car. Hell no. She does the music. Sometimes I let you go.

I will say, I tell my kids, unless there's blood or a bone is poking out of your body, do not. me during nap time. Respect. That is my gold right there. I schedule it into my life. Yeah. And a lot of times I don't nap. I'm just reading.

I just, I really like my solitude. Yeah. Although my mom, I don't know what you think about this, because I always think I'm an introvert, and I do like my friends and I can have fun, but I am an introvert. I then need my alone time. And if I say this to my mother,

she bursts out into hysterical laughter. She just goes, that's the biggest lie ever. That you need alone time. You're an introvert. I just think I'm an introvert. I think that you're a mix because I think that she prefers being an introvert. She likes her alone time more than anybody else I've ever met in the entire universe likes their alone time. But she can easily be an extrovert in every other regard.

And you're never introverted when you're around people. But it's like she's the first to leave any party. Oh, for sure. She is always the first to leave a party. Always, but not even exaggeration. I'm like, when I didn't say goodbye. But even if we have parties at our house, we threw a bar night party at our house. Yeah. And it's 9.30 p.

And I'm like, where's mom? And dad's like, oh, she's up in bed in her PJs. And I'm like, we have 50 people here that are hosting. Oh, my God. I respect that so much. Every time. Phil Stutz, though, makes me stay 20% longer. So when I, and this is actually helping.

So it's like 9 p.m. instead of 6 p. No. If I get them got to goes at 9, then I stay like 20 more minutes. And a lot of times it'll go to 45 minutes. Oh, wow. That's huge. 9.15. And sometimes I take a break, though, from Bar Night and come back down in my PJs.

I haven't been there for that yet. But I read something like people who don't say goodbye at parties, you save like two days off your life. Oh, I've, I, Irish Goodbye on the regs. All the time. I call it the French Exit, but always do it. An Irish Goodbye. I'm like, are we Irish Goodbye?

If I'm with somebody, I'm like, I'm Irish Goodbye. But do you know what the problem is? What? I was going to do, we were all at the beach with everybody and I was going to do an Irish Goodbye. But then I loved everyone there so much. And it was, and it was not so many people. Oh, that was fun.

No. That was a really fun dinner. Sometimes you can't. Like, are we at her baby shower? This, when I was going to leave. I'm like, I can't Irish goodbye at the baby show. Yeah. I would.

I could. You should talk about trying the Irish goodbye at a family dinner with five of us. I mean, I thought of it and then I thought better. Oh, my God. So, I can't. I've heard that being an introvert or an extrovert isn't what you prefer or even your personality. It's more what returred. It's more what recharges you.

Yeah. And being alone, rechar. Like, after this, which is the most fun and I have the most fun and I'm so happy to see Sharp. But then I'll have to go home and take some alone time before I do. I have another thing to do. I one thousand percent relate to that. Yeah.

I feel like I'm like that too. I feel like, would you guys say? I feel like I'm like that. Like, I need to recharge. Like after this. Yeah. I'll need to recharge. And how about you, Rachel?

I don't know that I need that, like, me time so much, but I have massive, and I've talked to my therapist about this. I call it social anxiety, but she calls it, it might just be extreme shyness, which is interesting. I'm shy too. Well, like, it's a thing, though, you know, because they're like, there's a difference. If extreme shyness is like, you're not scared necessarily, you're just like, I don't really want to talk to anybody. Or like, you know, but I mean, I do like me time when I can have it. I think also having kids finding that time is massive because you're never alone. When Charlotte was little, she used to, I used to take her work and take her place and shout and say, I don't want to say, hi, Mom, I'm shy of her.

I'm nervous of her. Okay. I'm nervous of him. So I always say that now, like I'll think I'm nervous of her. I'm shy of her. I'm always worried that I'm not going to remember some of those things. So I now have notes in my phone. Like my daughter, for instance, Taylor Swift's song, 22.

When it's like a perfect night dressed up like hipsters. And her whole life, she thinks they're dressed up like hamsters. Stop it. I swear. Yeah, you got to write that. I write it down. No, because you forget these things. But even like that cute little thing, like she would say at work.

They mean she's shy. Her other thing is she's just shy. There are other things she used to do that we still say all the things. I still say I'm shy of her. I'm nervous of her. But Charlotte, you know, after I would change her diaper, of course, I would put cream and powder and everything. And Charlotte would say, ma' keem, more powdoo. So now when we need powder or something, Charlotte goes, powdew.

Kemp, your team? More keem. More keene. So cute. I'm murdering you. I know. I know. Did it feel good on your little turkey?

Yeah. Oh, she got massages with oil. We all did it. First kid, I mean, I only have one, but like, you know, they really get the whole nine yards. I also was talking really, really young. And we would have nine months old. No. I have video nine months old because it was, we went to an Easter party.

She's on a changing table, like barely rolling around. And I said, what did you see at the Easter party? She goes, Kikat. No, uh. I have it on video. What, what's that? What? Where'd you drop?

How do we get there? Car. She can barely. She can't. She's nine months old. She's on the changing table. Oh, my God. Dorgy, that's Elijah's age.

That would be like him. My sister had a baby who's nine months. And he's just a potato. I mean, he's barely. We once, we went to, I apologize for talking about it. So we went on Hawaii. It's why you're here.

What? It's a podcast. Hello. We went to Hawaii. We brought Charlotte. She was 18 months old, and we went, they had a kitty pool, and there was a father that had his son there that was two. And he said to me, how old is she? And Charlotte goes, 18 months.

And he was with his son. And then she said, I'll be two in June. And the father goes, boys talk later than girls and fled the kitty pool with him. Like it was like too shocking. Shut up. June. That is so cute. E.

I can just picture it. It's just your face. A little. A little baby man. Yeah, girls do talk before. I mean, they do say that we're just a little more advanced. Earlier. How old are your children?

Four and seven. Two boys. Yes. Two boys. So sweet. I love them so much. They love you. How come you get to hang out with everyone and I'm not hanging.

out. You're invited. Because you're an introvert. I would hang out with you in your bed. We're bed people. Yeah. We hang out in our bed. We're all cozy people. Yeah. We like a bed hand. Yeah, we're all bed people. Yeah. We're all bed people. That's how I get Charlotte to say with me. I just enticed her to in bed. I'm like, what do we want a postmate? Yeah. Postmates in bed. Right. Yes. In bed. Yeah. That's, that's all I've won. That's not me and my mom are too. Yeah. I wish my mom was more like that. But the other thing I was going to say, I know kids are sharing stories about cuteness with kids. Breyer has always said, rest or not?

And the other day, I was like, okay, we're going to go to the restaurant. She's like, mom, hold on. Are you saying restaurant? And I'm like, no. She's like, I always thought it was called rest or not. And so that's why she said rest or not. Oh, rest or not. She was like, you can go to a restaurant.

You can sit, you can rest or not. You can stand me. Oh my God, it killed me. And I did, I was like, impane me. I'm like, I did not want to tell. You don't want to correct her. Her dad was like, I think it's time. No, you want, well, they stop saying it and then we go back to it.

Yeah. I'm sure there's other ones that we say too. And also flag and also some. Some. My brother when he was, we carried this up of my little brother when he was little, he would go into a store or like he was a fashion person he always wanted and he'd walk into a store or a candy store and he'd go some because he wanted some of any he just wanted some of anything so if we go into a nice store or if we're if we see cute boys so i'll go to some some i love that

but a lot of people know it like zach knows it we've a lot of we've a lot of people that know what some some oh what's your favorite chain restaurant if you had to pick one. What's your? McDonald's. Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. McDonald's. French fries is the best fries in the world. They're the best fries. I agree. McDonald's. Yeah. I'm not.

Now I want it. Just to even say it. I want it. Yeah. McDonald's fries. I'm going to get out of the way home. McFlurry. McFlurry.

I can't. That is as too many calories, but I, a cheeseburger and fries. Just in my head now. Their fries are farmed. They never are too many calories but a cheeseburger? No, they're actually plain like a cheeseburger and a small fries is not too many. It's like horse meat and like... Horsmeat.

Sawdust. Sawdust and glue. That's irrelevant. It's delicious saddust. Your favorite cereal? I like to mix cereals, but I would say fruit loops. Oh. I mean, I don't eat it ever, but...

But yeah. If you had to pick one. Yeah. For sure. Speaking of if you had to pick. Yes. If you had to pick another famous couple to swing with, who would you pick? Oh.

Oh. That transition was flawless. That's a good question. Huh. You love Hugh Grant. Oh, Hugh Grant. And if he's married again, I'm sure I is. Yeah, it was definitely Hugh Grant.

Whoever you're giving. You're giving that one to Bill. Oh, yeah, I'm in. I'm in. That's fine. Hugh Grant. Oh, I'm sure he's married to someone cute. Oh, definitely. I love that you like Charlotte.

It's like, well, you love Hebrew. We love you. Good. What are your thoughts on unsolicited dick picks? Why are you sending unsolicited dickpicks? And dicks aren't cute. No. Wow.

And they're just not cute. Sorry, George. They're not. Hard or soft. Don't want to see it. I mean, I'll see it when I'm seeing it, but let's not see it in a picture. Not in a picture. Come on.

I mean. Never. No, so rude. And don't do it. And also, you don't know who you're saying. And you get in trouble. You could get in trouble. It's just so interesting to me when people do that.

It's like nobody says yes. Nobody wants an unsolicited. Oh, it's happened to me many things. Leah gets them the most out of anyone I've ever met. Like out of nowhere, you'll just get dick picks for no reason. She'll just get dick picks and she'll be like, um. What about okay? That sounds bad.

You're dating someone. Yes. I'm so open and welcoming. Well, no, like I'm still open. Like strangers? No, not strangers. Like, guys, she's maybe slept with in the past. Maybe they're trying for like a revisit.

A revisit? She goes, it's just like an automatic like, hello. I don't know what it is about me. It's the sunshine. You're so welcoming. I want to show you my day. But it's literally like, I don't need to see that. Like I just like don't do it ever.

So if voice. So have anyone listening? I can't imagine that you see it and you go, I don't call a guy. That's what I'm thinking like, where in their mind do they think that? Like, are they thinking like, yeah. They're thinking with their dick. This will do it.

Yeah. This is true. This is true. It's unearned confidence. Speaking of dicks. And speaking of dicks, if you had one for a day, what would you do with it? I had pee out said. You'd what?

Pout said. Me too. I always would say that I'd pee outside. I don't want a dick. Yeah. I don't want to have one. I'm so glad I don't. I'm so.

I'm sorry. What a dick-same. No. I just don't need it. And I'm... I don't know. I don't... I don't...

I know. People think I'm like boyish, but I'm not really. No. You're like, but I don't really want one of those. I don't want. Sometimes it's about the peat. The peat. What'd you say?

Sometimes it's about the peen. Sometimes it's about the person. It's great if it's about both. It's great if it's about... both at the same time. That's, marry him. Magic combination. Yeah.

Word. But also, somebody can have a great PIN and not know how to use it. That's what I'm saying. I've had that. I'm sure everyone has had that. We appreciate a great PIN, but also someone that knows how to use it well. Just because you have a great PIN doesn't mean you know how to. And who's funny.

And who's funny. And who's a good kisser. Yes. Those are all really. Kissing is important. Kissing is huge. Cushing is huge. It's a deal breaker.

Yeah. It's a deal breaker. Bad kisser, it's a deal breaker? Yeah, I've had times, you know, and you really like like like the person, but you're just like, I can't. Wait. So it doesn't. It's not sexy. Also, you feel like we're not 15.

So, like, you have time in and this is what you've ended up with. Right. Like, this isn't good. No. And also, you've got to be, I feel like people, people are good. It's just a natural thing that you would know how to do. One would think. One would think it is.

And also, do you have the time to be teaching someone how to kiss? No. I don't have that kind of time. You should know by now. I don't have that kind of time. Wait, so Rachel, you've liked somebody and then, or like, let's say, and they're bad kisser and you don't like them anymore? No.

No, I've dated people that are bad kissers, but I'm single. Yeah, not for long. Wasn't it a long. No, not long hauls on that. Because it's definitely like the start of, you just need to match in that department. I feel like it's really important. It's a connection thing. It is a connection.

Sure. Bad kissers? Yeah. I'm sure we all. We all have. We all have. Yeah. But Andrew's a really good kisser.

Few. That's good. Few. Thank God. But now we're like, we've been dating for, what, four years, over four years? Yeah. Something crazy. And it's just like we're like an old married couple nights.

No, you kiss because I was on FaceTime with you the other day and he came in the room and kissed you. Give me a pick. Yes. On the mouth in front of me. Wow. Yeah. And I was like, oh, they're cute. That's cute.

Lou, how often does Jess? Jeff kiss you. Yeah. He tries to kiss me every day and he said that I always give him my cheek and he actually just got really upset about it. And I said, I think it's because like if I put lipstick on or like I always feel like I'm going to like put lipstick on him or I don't know. I'm just never anticipating it coming. So I give my cheek and so I have to work on that. Yeah. He wants to kiss a lot. If you really think about kissing, like really think about. it, it's actually insane. Yeah, it's gross.

Like, it's kind of insane. Like, if you think about it, we're, like, putting our mouths. Let's not. No, let's not think of it. It's similar to, like, you would never share a toothbrush with somebody. I'm disgusting. I've been with your mouth. On someone else's mouth.

Ask to use your toothbrush and I'm like, in like, especially the beginning of dating when you're still like, you know, you don't. That's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's getting the gunk out of your teeth. It's been there all day. It's so disgusting.

But I do, too. My mom is too. Yeah, we share the toothbrush. Speaking of, I do use a toothbrush when I go to her house because it's really nice. Her toothbrush and it's really strong. That's really strong. And Charlotte and I also kiss on the mouth, so. Yeah.

So Brian just stopped doing that with me. And I don't know if it's because of school and friends and it bums me out, man. You stop when you're like, you know. You went through a phase. And then you go back. And then you just make, I make her. I mean, I don't French kiss her, but, you know, I make her kiss me. Yeah.

She's like, and if I go to the side, she's like, I move over head. Yeah, yeah. Wait, who's that celebrity that gets in trouble for kissing his son on the room? Yeah. What? Oh, yeah, Tom Brady. There was this really cute video.

He's lingered for a while. I think that's why people were mad about it. I saw it. How about the Dalai Lama having the kid suck his tongue? What the fuck is that? What was going on there? I didn't watch the video. Does the kid actually suck his tongue?

I think so. I don't understand that. But the Tom Brady thing, I'm like, no, it's just father's son, sweet. I watched that one. It was very cute and sweet and sweet and innocent. It was a son. It should be precious. Yeah, it was his son and he was like eight or something.

And I'm like, it should be sweet. It was precious. It was a really precious father-son bond. Yeah. It's not. It wasn't weird. There was nothing weird about it. If it was Giselle and the daughter, I don't know if they have a daughter, but they do.

They do. They do. We're like, we know all about Tom Brady. That Dalai Lama thing really trip me out. I know. Because you don't, you go, if that's on film, what's not. What's not? Oh.

And it's the Dalai Lama way. Yeah. No, no, it was really distressing. He's like the holiest Buddhist person. I don't understand that at all. That trip me to break out. Well, on that note, it has been great having you here. Do I get to come hang out with all of you guys?

We can hang out in a bed. In a bed and like anywhere. All right, girlies. All right, cooches. Oh, thank you. Love you, love you, love you. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Okay. Have you guys seen paranormal caught on camera. Yes. Nope. You've actually watched it?

Well, I've watched most of the paranormal shows. But you know that one in particular? Where is that? I don't know. I think it's Discovery Plus, which I found out you can have a free trial off Amazon Prime. But then you wind up owning Discovery Plus after seven days. Yeah. For $13.99 a month.

Yeah, something like that. And, you know, I don't know how to cancel things. I might need some help, Rob. So these shows scared the living bajun. Jesus out of me. What is a bejeezus? I think it's a way around saying the Lord's name and fame. Yeah.

But people, even people who are of Jesus faith, it could say bejesus? It's like the spirit out of me. It's like, but do you think people who do? You just did? Are you a follower of Christ? I'm not a Christ devotee, you know, but I'm just wondering if people who are say bejesus. Maybe. I don't know.

I'm curious now. I don't know. I'm not sure there's been a huge study on that either. Well, what do you think, Olivia? Probably not. Yeah. Oh, well, it sounds like they do. Like, that scared the bejesis out of me.

Yeah, they do. It's very wholesome. Yeah, it's awesome. I like how you just said it right now, like that. You're like, no, yep, definitely heard that. Yep, we'll say it. Yeah. Okay, so anyways, I tried to watch the show the other night.

You guys, I got... By yourself? Yeah, by myself. Yeah, by myself, alone at night. Which, by the way, probably... In your room, living in? In my room? Probably not the time to try these things. I got so scared after the first frame of the show. I turned the volume all the way off. Well, that makes it scarier. It does? Because then you don't even know what's going down. You're just like in the silence and dark. I exaggerated. It was a very low. Oh, I just got an American Express update that I was charged for the Discovery Plus.

I turned it low enough where it was like, kind of on. But then I was like, I think I need to turn golden girls on, you guys. That's what happened. Cleanse the brain. Yeah, I got so scared. I did try that show Jury Duty, which was funny. Have you seen it? No, what is it?

Have you seen it wrong? I was actually going to bring it up when you were talking about Discovery Plus because you watch it on Amazon. What is it? So it's sort of a reality show. They're filming a documentary. on a jury case and everyone in it is an actor

except for one guy. One guy thinks he's actually on jury duty. Oh no, that's amazing. It's amazing. That's genius. James Marsden is in it. He's playing himself as like a celebrity on a serving jury duty. This is good. One of our video editors is on it.

What? Really? He's the little weird blonde guy that has the like chair pants. I want to be on. on it so bad. He's one of the best parts in it. I think I saw one episode. Creepy little blonde guy.

Okay, I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch again because I was, I was like, okay, I can get into this. Wouldn't you want to do it, Rachel? Abs of fucking looting. Isn't that like the best thing when you get to fuck with people? 100%. But more so, I, you guys, I know this is an unpopular opinion.

I enjoyed jury duty. Oh, I see, I see, I get it. Do you go? Do you follow it? Well, I went. or you just ignore it? I went once, okay? I remember I was just pregnant.

I went once. And it was such an intense case, and it was, like, pretty disturbing. And I knew I had to leave for a wedding, so I couldn't actually serve, even though I probably would have been into it because I'm super into, like, true crime and all that stuff.

You know, we all get into that. Yeah. But I said something, you know, that made it very clear to the defense that I would absolutely side with. Mm-hmm. You know. The murderer.

The prostitian. So they didn't choose me, but I had to do it because I had to leave. Had I not had to leave town for a wedding, I would have happily stayed and listened to that whole trial. I feel you on that. You get it. I 100% feel like I'd be into it. As long as it's an interesting case and not just like, you know. When you get the thing in the mail, do you answer and respond to it always?

I don't know that they have my right address. Okay. So it's just, it is getting ignored. If it comes to me, I'll go. Will you? She doesn't get her own mail, Rob. Okay. What?

No, I just never check my mail is more the problem. It's there. Because I tried to go and I got it. And what happened? And then it was annoying. And then they kept like pushing it. Your Chicago accent is really coming through today. Yeah, what's up with that?

Say annoying. And then I just was like, all right, I'm not going to do this. Because I couldn't take like a full week off to me. It kept telling me to call. Yeah, yeah, you call for the week and then you finally get called in. No, you're not. Call tomorrow. What?

Have you called to go? Never. Oh, you've ignored every jury duty summons. I don't have any. What do you mean? You don't have any. Everybody has them. No.

I don't. I tried going on it and then I just was like, fuck it. I guess I'm ignoring it. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think you can ignore it. But it's frowned upon. Yeah. I tried. But then it was like be on call for the next two weeks, which I can't do.

Yeah. Does everyone really get it? Because I don't. Olivia. Yeah. 100%. Isn't it like a lottery? No.

I mean, well, at the timing of it, like when you get it to lottery, you don't know when it's going to happen. But every single like resident absolutely gets called for jury duty. Is your like government ID updated with your, what's your address on your government ID? Yeah. It is your current home address? Well, not right now, but.

But it was and you never got it at your last address? But not right now. But historically. Historically. You've been back for like a year, six months. Wait, but at your last address was your license to your last address? Yeah. You can probably do it online, actually.

So that I get called in for jury duty? So you actually don't want to get called in for jury duty? I mean, how often are you guys getting called in? well, I wouldn't know. I don't check my mail. So it's not that often. It's happened once to me. Okay. So, yeah.

Well, it happened once. I think like a few times. It's happened maybe twice. But one was one I moved from Orange County to L.A. So I was able to say I don't live here anymore. Right. Maybe in my 20s. I was a little distracted.

You know? It was a blackout. I was busy. I was busy. I was at Joseph's. No sips to Josephs. I. I don't know if it's an interesting case and you have the time.

I mean, it sounds kind of like entertaining. You don't know what the case is though. I know you don't. I know. But the one I got was pretty juicy. But I couldn't stay. Doesn't your sister-in-law work on Judge Judy? She did.

And then she was on Hot Bench, which was a... And why have we never gone? I don't know. We should go. I remember seeing the most amazing thing of Amy Schumer in the audience at Judge Judy. That's what I'm saying. See, she gets it. She was just in the audience.

During a Judge Judy taping, it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. She gets it. Oh, she 100% gets it. So can we go? I don't, I don't think, she doesn't work on Judge Judy anymore. I mean, she's got hookups, Rachel. Okay, we can go to Judge Judy. And I still want us to go on Family Feud.

Oh, yeah. Should we do Family Feud? Yeah. So while this conversation is going, I think this is an important thing for everyone to know. What? That our friend George is here massaging Rachel's feet as we speak. He was massaging mine too and it feels really good. I know.

I was like, you can massage my foot if you want. Yeah, it feels, it doesn't it feel good? Yeah, it's really great, you know. My daughter is obsessed with massages. I love them. Giving or receiving? Receiving. Oh, no, that's all.

No, but she's eight with pressure. Leah doesn't like massages. No, she doesn't. I'm not like a huge massage person. Unless it's like my partner. Oh, well, look, he's. doing double. He's double massaging.

Wait, you've got to get a picture of this, Rob. I'm going to document this. I want to go get a massage. Where would you go? I mean, I would maybe just hit up a little. I like time massage and I also, I'm down for a little like Burke Williams action. I got a massage in Thailand once. Did you get a happy ending?

No. But they put so much pressure and it was such a deep massage like I almost threw up after. I can't handle it It was way too much I was like oh my god I'm gonna die Do you like it Do you like it hard or soft

Somewhere in between I don't want it too hard I like it to cause like pain Personally request men to do it Just so they can have like more power Is that what it is Rachel Why are you saying it like that

Like I'm the one doing it Would you have Would you get at request a man for more like No, because I don't want it harder. Oh, I see. You don't like a lot of pressure. I don't mind it, but I'm not, like, beat me up. You're not after the pressure.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think there's some sort of, like, endorphin that gets released with the pain that I'm into. Interesting. Yeah. So you'd say you like to be manhandled? Yeah, I'll proudly say that.

What about you, Rachel? Have any thoughts on that? Sure don't. I sure don't. I don't like pressure in my massage. Any Hewelhouser. Derek lives alive and well in this room. Yeah, he does.

And every day we say that. We say it. Every day. Derek Waters. Any Hewelhouser. Yep. What else? What's your week been like?

Rob. It's been busy. Yeah? Fascinating. Yep. Okay. All righty. What's yours like, Rachel?

What? Mine's actually been pretty good. Oh, it has it. The fuck is that. I'm home. You say I'm home? Oh, yes. Olivia came home, which is a big deal.

She was gone for so long. How long? She was gone for like three weeks. Three weeks. That's a long. She's never been away from her kids that long. No. I mean, that's a long-ass time.

What else? What else this week? We tried to use a Ouigi board yesterday. You did? Did it? We tried. Oh, you and Olivia and Lucy. Oh.

Didn't work. Wait, when did you guys just tried it? Yeah. Because you had it. I bought one from like the 50s. Oh, you bought like, oh, that's good. That's a good call. That's like Jumanji.

Yeah. Original packaging. I don't think we set the mood right though. Yeah, I asked my friend afterwards. Were you in the basement? No, you're in my garage. Middle of the day, sunlight coming in. No, you need like a space.

You know? Yeah. He said you have to spend like, like, you have to spend. like 30, 40 minutes kind of setting the mood before doing it. I want to do it. Have you done a Ouija board? No, maybe when I was like an elementary school. You know, all those games.

Did you guys play? What was the one you look in the mirror? Bloody Mary. Yes. What was it again, though? Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. You just say, that's all you say is Bloody Mary. And then she appears.

I remember one of the girls, it was like third grade. and we did it and her face turned red. Yeah, all those games. I mean, all this stuff creeps, scares the crap out of me. Scares the creeper out of me. Scares the crap. Okay, well, yeah, we should do a Ouija board. You should make our own Ouija board?

No. I don't know how to do that. What? Do you hear a loud music? The whistle. I hear the whistling of the little girl that used to live in the house back there. You know? You even heard that's her?

story? Little girl ghosts are the scariest. Little girl? Yeah, particularly. Why is that scarier? Because they wear like 1800s nightgowns. So do the boys. Like a old man in a 1800s nightgown. Wouldn't be scarier. Wouldn't be as scary as a little girl in an 1800s nightgown. I disagree. You do? Yeah. Huh. Lou? You know, I think that at least if it's a kid, they're not going to have like a vendet. or like someone they're trying to scare. Like I feel like the older people have all the bitterness of life in them. So it'd be scarier than like a kid just would want to be like,

I want to play ball with Bobby. So it'd be creepy as fuck. There's a little bit more innocence. Exactly. And they're smaller. You could beat up a little, you could beat up a little girl. I have.

You can't beat up an old man. An old woman. and scares me the must. You can't beat up an old man? You can't. Oh my God. Okay. Well, anyways.

I still stand by my decision. What are you doing for dinner tonight? I was literally just thinking I'm kind of getting hungry. What am I doing for dinner tonight? Yeah. I have a Girl Scout hike after school. I have reservations of that chain. It's like a pop-up thing they do once a month.

It's B.J. Novak and Tim Mohannsworths. And it was a burger last time. The burger last time. What's it this time? What's it this time? What does that even mean? Just like really... They take chain food and then they make it...

They like level it up. What's the word I was looking for? There was like a really good culinary word to be like, like on Top Chef when they... She wanted to flex. I wanted to flex my Top Chef knowledge. Elevate? Yeah. They elevate it.

They elevate it. That's all of it. food and elevate it. Yeah. Thank you. That's how I wanted it, but I appreciate it. So are there any, like, versions of that where you're like, oh, it was better just as the regular chain food? I would feel that way. I don't know you would. I don't know the chain versions really anyways, so it's... So, but do you know what you're comparing it to? Like, have you ever eaten Pizza Hut? I have had Pizza Hut. How do you feel about Pizza Hut? If you had to choose Pizza Hut or Domino's, what would you do? I'd pick dominoes.

Dominoes. You know, we used to always get them. I'd pick Papadjons over Dominoes, though. Dominoes. You would? Not me. I don't know that I've ever had Papa John's. Yeah, Poppegons better. I really like Fresh Brothers right now.

Yeah, Fresh Brothers is good. It's good. I wouldn't pick any of those, though, if I was ordering pizza and could pick from anywhere. I still pick Fresh Brothers because they have the gluten and dairy-free, and they deliver to my house. Yeah, well, you have special reasons for doing. The pizza's not bomb. I feel bad. for my children that they have to eat it.

See, like, if I'm going to do, like, a domino's, like, thin-cressed pepperoni and I'd be really happy. I don't like the thing. I don't like the thing. I don't like to do Papa Jones because they've got the garlic butter sauce. I was never the garlic sauce. Do you eat the garlic sauce at... A zanku?

Yeah. I don't. I don't either. Oh. I don't either. Huh. I'm weird about sauces, you guys. I'm weird about garlic.

Like Arby's sauce? Did you know that they found a... dead body in an Arby's freezer. Yes. You saw that too? Yes. It was like an employee. I didn't follow up on it.

I don't know what happened. You didn't follow up on it? Well, yeah, like the story. I like to know what happened. She didn't call. You didn't investigate it on your own. Yeah. Are you looking it up?

No. Oh. I thought you were going to have answers. I believe. I bet they found plenty of dead bodies at McDonald's too. Yeah, but can we follow up on it? Rob, can you Google it? Arby's dead body.

Anyway, I was going to say that I don't like Arby's sauce. Like if I was eating an Arby's sandwich, I need it with ketchup. Because you assume it was stored in a freezer with a dead body? No, Rob. I just was connecting because I just remembered. I read that recently. A week ago, a play was found dead in a freezer out of Louisiana Arbys. That's all it says?

How did they die? I need answers. No foul play was suspected. What? That's weird. Did they drop dead in the freezer? Was it a stand-up free? Like, a walk-in freezer?

Yeah. Where are the answers? We need the facts here, Rob. Rachel. No other details were released. What? That's so weird. That is so weird. It's under investigation, but no foul play is suspected. How is that possible? Could have been like an old lady that... So you're assuming it's a walk-in freezer? Yeah. For sure.

It's what you think it's like... Do you think they put it in there? It's crammed into a little... There is no way they wouldn't... Oh, my God. They wouldn't suspect fall play if it wasn't not. a walk-in freezer. No foul play here.

She was just crammed into this chest. Like pieces of a body stepped in a freezer and they were like no foul places. No. Rachel's never worked in a restaurant. That's not true. Oh, that's not true. You did work at Sicily. I did work at Sicily.

It was a 63-year-old woman. Oh. Oh, she just gave up maybe. Oh, they make it sound, you know how the media spins it? Actually. What? What? It does not seem like a homicide.

It seems like a homicide. accident. Oh no. She fell and hit her head. Cause of death has not yet been determined. She slipped. She slipped. She slipped and fell in a walk-in freezer in Arby's. I think you're taking a big jump. Yeah, but that is a, well, I don't know. That is a brutal way to go. Or a heart attack. I mean, I just, I would like to know how this poor woman passed. But you see how the media flipped, like, the clickbait is a dead body found in a freak. Like, she could have just accidentally, obviously, you know. Yeah, that's what they did. Passed on.

Like, but the way it's fun is messed up. I'm curious, I would love to hear you take a shot at how you would say it if you worked in media. How would you present this story? Do tell. You literally, you literally just. Wait, wait, you literally just presented it to us as, did you hear someone died in a freezer at Arby's? No, she said they found a dead body. Yeah, but they make it sound so much.

Like you're picturing like a dismembered body found stuffed in a freezer. No, you are. You did that. You're picturing that. You don't picture that when you hear it? No, I pictured a live, I'm like a human body in the freezer. Like a walk-in freezer? Yeah.

I automatically go to the dark, scary. This is what happened. I didn't either. What does that say about my brain? The show was that you watch. Scares me. See this why I can't do it? I'm so scared that that's my automatic response.

Did we talk about the show love and death yet? Uh-uh. Or candy? Okay, because I watched both. Oh, you did? And I like you too. Okay, which one did you prefer? God, it's a hard question.

What's candy? Candy, it's the same story. Same exact story. It was made twice. The first one, I think Jessica Beale did it and is in it. And the second one, it's Elizabeth Olson. Yeah. Same exact story.

So it's really fun to watch and see the difference on how they made it. Well, you don't know which one you prefer? Well, it's hard. They're so different. Are they both really good? They're both great. I may have watched the Jessica Biel one. Hers was first.

Hers was darker. Elizabeth Olsons had more of like a lightness to it. I want you to watch them so we can talk about it. Okay. They're so good. Speaking of dead bodies, that came to mind. Hmm. I know she like murders her best friend or something.

Yeah. Spoiler alert. Oh, is that not known? I think it's why I think it's based on a true story. It's known. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They start the show with it in one of them. Okay. I can't believe you guys didn't automatically think what I thought. I'm just kind of like blown away by that. Well, it's like those, what is the word? The Roarshack.

Yes, thank you. Roar shack. Okay. Yeah. It's like that. It's like everybody sees something different. Right. Right.

So you think, I would like to take a poll. I'm curious. I will do it. I pictured a whole body in a walk-in freezer. Yeah, I was picturing a dead body, like a dismembered body and packed into a freezer. Like it was for sure a murder. Because of how it's because of the headline. Yeah.

I get it. Yeah. Interesting. Which way did you see it in your head? Your way. Olivia's way. And George is sitting here silent. Yeah.

He saw it the same as me. As he's massaging your feet, he's nodding yes to that. He's my yes man. Interesting. But you'll always go for ranch and buffalo sauce, right? A thousand percent. And love, I will never pass up a buffalo sauce situation. Me neither.

Ever. Or a ranch. Or a ranch. Ever. But the crafty sauces, I'm like, I'm cool. I don't need a bunch of crafty sauces. Like, oh, it's a garlic aoli. Oh, yeah.

No, no, no. I'm good. I'd rather dip it in ranch. I'd rather just give me some ranch. Or A1. She does love A1. How do you feel? about people getting A1 on a really good steak at a restaurant.

Rob is like dying inside. I don't love steakhouses, so I don't care. I love a steakhouse. Can I just tell you? I know. Yeah, no. That checks out. But what about any steak?

Like if a chef made you a beautiful steak, would you ever put A1 on it? Or do you find that offensive? It's offensive to the chef. I don't find it offensive. I don't know shit how you eat your food. I probably wouldn't do it, but if it needed. a sauce. Do you like A1 sauce?

I don't mind it. You don't mind it, but you don't want to, like, pour it on everything you eat. I had steak last night at Damien. Oh, you did? I didn't ask for A1 sauce for it. I thought it was more like a Mexican flair. It was a carneasada. Oh, okay.

Jeff gets, Jeff thinks it's offensive that I do that everywhere. I can see why he gets it. No matter what. I'm like, can I have A1? Well, they're not going to have it. The thing is they're not going to have A1 at the places that would take offense to. Do you want me to polls? some chefs that you just have on speed dial?

Did you say call them? Pole. Pull. Yeah. I want to know. Look at him. He just has, like,

let me just show off that I can like just quickly message. Now I'm not going to do this. No, do it. I'm teasing you. Do it. What would this be

if I didn't tease you? Oh, oh, Samik. Oh, geez. That gets stuck in my head all the time. Who sings that?

What do you, mean it's the commercial for ossempic is it they do you play on that song yes the commercials oh oh it's magic yeah they do osamaic oh dear yeah no way way what do you watch that has commercials well rachel there's a lot of news in my house oh yes i know there's a lot of news i'm aware and my brother watches a lot of sports i'm aware Okay, I got one response. Roy Choi says he'd be impressed if someone asked for A1 sauce when he served them steak. With their balls?

Yeah, exactly. That they're willing to do it. But don't you agree? Like those kinds of restaurants wouldn't have A1 sauce available. He says he asks for it all the time. Awesome. Thank you, Roy Choi. Appreciate your contribution here.

How do you feel about pen pals? I love it. I don't have strong thoughts in any direction on pen-pane. Well, do you think it's different getting to know someone, like, online? No, how would you feel if Elliot had a pen pal with a man in prison? What? What? Obviously, I would fucking...

Love it? Never let that happen. I mean, pen pal's, like, as far as, like, someone, let's say they met someone online dating, and they start getting to know each other on the apps. how would you feel about that? Do you feel like you're really getting to know someone or do you feel like you have to be in person to get to know them? I think you can digitally get to know someone.

You do? Yeah. Do you not? I mean, it's a different, you don't. Wait, say it again? Can you digitally get to know someone? Like, just without pictures? What do you mean?

There'll be dickpicks. Don't worry, Rachel. She's like, wait, without dick pics. I don't get. That's how I date. Wait, shut up. What do you mean? I mean, like, if someone meets each other on, like, let's say, like, a dating app, right?

Yeah. And they start talking and they have correspondence over the app, but they've never, like, met in person. Uh-huh. Do you think you can get to know someone that way, or do you think you have to be? I do. You're getting to know them. For sure. I mean, I wouldn't get married to them until you meet them.

Oh, yeah. Because, you know, that happens. Remember that guy that wrote in about being catfished? Remember that guy who was being catfish and he found out it was his dad? Yes, I remember him. James. He was on our podcast, Rob. He knows. Oh.

Yeah. And the girl that he was pretending to be was also on the podcast. That's true. Claudia. I think you can get to know someone 100%. Still talking. Yeah. Right?

Absolutely. But are you different? Are you different behind? I have to say I am an excellent texter. Not so much with the talking. Not frequency, but... No. If I'm in a...

I'm, like, pretty good on text, like... Personality-wise. You think your personality's better as a text-old-old-in-re than in real life. Just on the phone, I'm excellent. But not speaking on the phone. No. That's a different person. Yeah.

I get very nervous. I am not at my best. When I'm at my best... It's text. It's text. Yeah, I get that. No. No, not on DMs.

No, I'm a good text. Personality are different in person versus, but that's the same even with like you and Jeff, I'm sure, have a slightly different personality when you're texting versus talking. No. No. No. No. I like you agree. Like, I feel like there's opportunity to show your wit. Your wit on text. Agreed.

Because you can just come out and you just like fire back for some reason reading. it is like a quicker response and I'm way wittier on text. Yeah like you can hear that last. Because you can go Google research it. No, it's instant. Because it's instant. It's instant. And I feel like you're put on the spot more like in person. There's something to it. I don't know what it is, but I am with you. How do you feel about first dates? Like would you want to be taking a coffee or would you want to like I would want to go to do something. Oh, you would? Yeah. Like go bowling. Go to like somewhere. Oh, really? Like that would be fun. Like do something fun. I don't want to like say

You don't want to talk Yeah I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I just love the idea of you going

going to It's fun I like to But I would much rather like go do something Like that sounds fun You know what I mean And you get to have fun

And it's more interactive Than just like Sitting and talking Which I'll do I feel like though Coffee Is Robb's

No no But I feel like That's the time Before you decide If you want to go On a date Right Yes

Wait what? That's like, are we friends? But that's like a friend date. Sure, yeah. You don't, I wouldn't. If someone I was interested in asked me to coffee, I'd be like, eh, more of like, nah, maybe I wouldn't. That's Jeff's first ask for me.

I was going to say, maybe I wouldn't. But I couldn't tell. I was like, is this a date? Right. It's not as clear. It's not as clear. It wasn't clear. Yeah.

Took like five dates for me to be like, is this a date? Yeah. When you're. He was not super transparent. I think I had to ask him. I guess would you rather enter a new relationship? Are you trying to immediately go from zero to this is a romantic thing? Or would you rather be some sort of platonic foundation ahead of time?

That's a good question. Because that's where like a coffee hangout is low stakes, platonic. Like even from a friendship level, like let's get coffee and decide if like you can come to dinner with us next time. we hang out and go see a movie. Is this for a thruple? I know. I'm like we. What are talking about? Anyone that like I'm not in a situation now where it's a dating thing. No, I know you're not. If there's like a friend that like I'm deciding if we're going to hang out or be better friends, like. You start with coffee. You start with coffee. Yeah. Rachel's never gone to coffee with anyone. That's, I feel like that's not true. We've got business. Yeah, but it was a first business.

You mean like romantically? Have a. I've ever gone to coffee with somebody? No. Oh, you mean just like going because I have to talk to someone? You're not just like, yeah, let's go grab a coffee. You're not that gal. Uh-uh. I'm sure not.

But if a guy asked you to coffee, would you be like, oh, he's not interested in me? No, not necessarily. I assume everyone is. No, but like if a guy's... No, I know they all want. Listen, what if a guy is like sober? I feel like asking to coffee would be like a normal first date. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So it depends on the situation. I guess, but I don't think I would think, oh, it's strictly, you know, it's like, oh, let's just test the waters is what coffee is. Let's go to dinner is officially a date. Yeah. And you do that to decide. Right. I'm not going to assume that there's anything here.

I'd be, but I'm saying I'd be way more into, like, instead of like, let me take you to dinner, it's like, let's go fucking, you know. Let's go fuck. Let's go fucking. That's funny. You like, I like doing things. Yeah. I'd rather go sit and talk. I know you would.

I don't want to do the things. I want to do the things. I'll sit and talk too, but like I also, it would be fun. I don't want to like, you know what I would not like for a first date? Going to the movies. No, that's a bad first date. That is like a bad first date. You can't talk.

You can't talk. Which isn't such a bad thing for me, but it's just. You want avoiding that part. Yeah. Unless you go to dinner in a movie. Sure. So you have time to talk. Yeah.

But I still don't want to sit in a movie theater. It's weird. It is weird. It's like they're really close to you. You don't really know them. You're watching the movie. Yeah, it's weird. You're self-conscious.

You both are also afraid of movie theaters. I don't love going to the movies. I love going to movies. She loves it. I'm afraid of it now. Yeah, you know. But I love it. You're afraid of it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, she loves it. I do not love it. Mm-mm. I don't like putting my head on the movie seat. Oh, yours is like a germaphobe thing. Yeah. Also, I just don't.

I just don't love going to the movies. I'd rather watch things in the comfort of my home. Not me. I guess. What's the last movie you went and saw it then? I couldn't even tell you. I could not even tell you. I know it wasn't puss and boots.

Yeah. Oh, I know. I couldn't go. I forget why. We were out of town. We were out of town. That you went to instead. We were out of town or something.

Calvin had his first kiss yesterday. What? It's happening He is a lover that one Apparently he was talked into it By the girl That's not okay I mean I don't think it was

He wanted to participate I think it was a mutual thing He's very affectionate as you know Yes That's cute All right She made him kiss him It was consensual

In dance class Oh my god We did good guys Rachel's got to pee I think we did it Just go pee and come back We did really good We did so good.

This was the best. I think this is the best post we've done in a long time. It's true. Well, because we're in person. Yeah. And we never see you anymore at least. Yeah. You guys act like I've just disappeared.

You have. You were shooting the movie for three fucking weeks. It's wrong. You take vacations and go gallivanting. When? When do I gallivant? You guys are just as unavailable as I am. Anyways.

Yeah. All right, guys. This has been a great... Thanks for coming. See you next week. That was a headgum podcast.