Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Christina Milian on Living in France and Going with the Flow

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Rachel and Olivia chat with singer and actress Christina Milian about raising a daughter in France and manifesting positive outcomes. Also, make sure to see Christina on Dexter: Original Sin!Watch this episode on YouTube HERE!Like the show? Rate Broad Ideas 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyAdvertise on Broad Ideas via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes when the inside of Rachel's little brain,

all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that'll make you... Because people die. Welcome. Are we recording?

Yeah. Welcome to Broad Ideas. Feels like a new day. It feels like a new year. It's a new year. Everyone is counting February as their new year. Yeah. We're done with that year, January.

That whole year. We are so excited because Broad Ideas is joining HeadGum, and this is our first episode with them, and we're so excited. Lots of changes, old Max, lots of changes. Old Max? You don't know what that's from? What's that from? I thought if anyone knew it'd be you.

No, I know it's something. Come on. It's a dog movie. Lots of changes, old Max. Lots of changes. Oh. Come on. Tell me.

It's a dirty dancing when the old guy comes up. Yep, Max. Yep, got it. Max. Yep. The hotel owner. Max. Got it.

Oh, sleep at the wheel. Back. Today we have Christina Million. We're very lucky. We are very lucky. I mean, I've been a fan of hers for so long. Even more so. You know, even more so than so long?

Yeah. It's just like further than that. But yeah, we're super excited. But let's get to Christina. How are you, Mom? We are good. We are doing good and so happy to talk to you. So thanks for hopping on with us. No problem. I know last week also, so your little one was sick. Mine was two, by the way. It was like perfect

I mean, my daughter. I have like now when I have like the leftover cold from watching them. I didn't get the flu, but I have just the cold. Yeah. No, it's been a non like ending cycle of just sickness after sickness. I was like battling friends over puking, stomach flu. I'm just like, oh my gosh. You feel like you have to be in a Asmets suit, like, at your house because there's just so much going around. You can just hope your immune system builds up enough that. It's built up enough that you can, like, absolutely avoid it. But who knows? But do you feel like as a mom?

I don't know. For me, and I have to knock on wood, like, super immune system. Like, my daughter will literally be, like, coughing or vomiting inside my mouth, and I won't get sick. Yeah. Like, I don't know what that is. Same thing here. Same year.

I don't know what it is either, but I usually tend to be the one to avoid and then dad gets sick. He's the one that I forgot. He got whatever they got last week. Listen. And he's the one that drinks like all the orange like, you know, vitamin C in the morning and goes like over the top with it. And this might be a controversial statement, but I do feel, and I'm not going to say all men, but most men when they get sick seem a lot sicker than us. Not in my house. You're like the one exception. Yeah. I'm the one. It's like, if I get it, I'm taken down. But if my husband gets it, he's like, It was nothing.

And I'm like, well, really? We're in the hospital. Hold on, though. Her husband's a doctor. So you know how doctors are always like, this is nothing? I think that's more. Well, they also expose them to things to build their immune system. Like, that's part of-

Yeah. In residency, he would have to go in and they want you exposed to as much as you can so you build your immune system. They can't leave work if they get sick. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. That makes total sense. It's so funny because my mom was here.

like my stepdad, like if he even hears the word cold, like the next day, he's like bedridden. Are you serious? Really? There's so dramatic. So dramatic. Oh my God. Okay. Wait, you live in Paris, right?

Yeah, I'm in Paris. Is that open? Like, you talk, like, that's known. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I live here.

I'm going to make sure. Pretty cool. Yeah. My husband's French. By the way, are we good? Like, I just like started talking about everything. Oh yeah, no. Yeah, we just go.

We don't. Yeah, there's no formalities or anything. Even better. Let's get into it. Okay, let's do it. No, I live here. Yeah, I've been living here for like off and on for the last six years since we've been together. But to be honest with you, like really, really kind of committed the last year and a half.

And then somehow for some reason, every six months, it's like I end up going back to L.A. for some reason. So I just went back recently because of Dexter, originally. so that was pretty cool because I got to get back home. I was like my mom, my sisters, and I got to see all my old friends. And dad handled everything where the kids were at school here. And now I'm back here again. But yeah, this is our playground right now is just as Paris because the kids are in school full time here. Wow.

I want to hear how you got to that decision because that's a big decision. I'm sure you. And away from like your mom and stuff with your kids. Like what? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it wasn't too difficult to have a decision because something about our relationship, like, I think if we're ever in one place for too long, it's like sometimes we get a little bored, not of each other, but just like it's exciting. We like to move around. Our kids are used to it. Since they were born, I mean, my daughter's definitely as a single mom, she was always with me all the time. Then at the beginning of my relationship with my husband, he was here. in France and then he moved to L.A. And then we found ourselves like going back and forth all the time

because of work. He's really good at planning. Like our balance is on the more free-spirited one and he's the one that plans like two years in advance. So I kind of know what our schedule is going to consist of because of him and I just go with the flow and I have no problem with this because I kind of grew up that way. My father was like the spontaneous one. We just moved around as a family as a pack and it was always fun and we were never bored and life was kind of an adventure. And I think it's kind of, I think a lot of people are doing that these days, you know, even to the point where they had their kids doing homeschooling now. I am not doing that. I refuse. I can barely like do the homework with my daughter and like, oh, she's seeking, she brings back the grades and I'm like,

what? What did we get? So what grade is she in? She's a ninth grader. Wow, high school. Yeah. Yeah. That's like it gets tougher. And they have a whole different way of teaching out, though. Yeah, I'm not a homeschool mom, that kind of mom. But over here we have the nanny that helps out. Whenever I go out of town or if Matt goes out of town for work, there's always somebody to help. Like his parents are here.

His mom will come or my mom will even fly from L.A. And she'll stay here with the kids if I'm back in L.A. working on something and with Matt if he needs any help. But really he's like, I think he really loves parents. parenting so much. To the point where, like, he rushes home. Like, he's, like, done working and he's, like, the first thing he does is still home. You know, whereas some people are like, you know, you work and you're like, oh, this is nice.

So I have my moment by myself. For him, he's like, can't wait to get back home. So it's perfect because he handles it when I'm gone and I have no, like, I feel like, I feel fine. Like, I'm not worried about anything. I know everything's handled here. My daughter's great with her with their siblings. things. And, yeah, and we just, and when we are together where, you know, they have like these, every six weeks here in France, you get two weeks off of vacation. The kids get two weeks off

school. What? Yes. Did you know that? It's crazy. I didn't know this either. I mean, I knew they have a lot of things, like, figured out. Yeah. Yeah. And they've been doing this forever. This isn't new. So every six weeks, they get two weeks off from school school. And I feel like all the families, yeah, the families, like, in, if this was, was like a new thing. It would probably be taught for somebody with work and trying to figure out, you know, how that would work out. But because this is implemented in all of the systems, like the families actually all take breaks in that two weeks and they go on these family vacations or road trips or it's very normal for them over here. So it's a cool lifestyle. And so

we've adjusted to the lifestyle with work and family pretty easy because it kind of is the same way for everyone here. Yeah. That is amazing. So do you speak French fluently? Na fluent. I'm working on it. No, no. You know, it's more about like getting over being nervous because I challenged myself to finally like really commit to it. So I've been working on it for a year and a half. And I've been off and on with a coach and then also dual lingo. And I'm pretty good. But it's really like the people they talk to will be like in the Uber or it'll be people that I feel I'm not going to judge me and I can have like a really careful. conversation with them. And then most of the time everybody speaks English here too. So it's kind of easy to fall on to the speaking English side. But I still get like the daily question of like, oh, oh, wow. You know, so I have like, I have my like little paragraph down that they're like, wow, you got it. And I'm like, yeah. Okay, let's move back. You know, I try. I try. I do what I can.

I have no working on it. Yeah. And then so how did you and your husband meet? We mentioned. here. We actually met here. Really? It was like, yeah, we met here in France. I was heavy miss single girl, like summer of my life. You should. Oh yeah. It was 2017. It was a good year. And at the time, my daughter was with her dad for the summer and I was just with my friends. And that year, I was like, that summer, I just, I was actually so over guys and so over the B.S. I know. I know. We're just like, Oh my gosh, it was so old. Like, I just got so tired of that. And I was just dating a bunch of, like, the longest I was getting out of a relationship was like three years.

And then eventually after the three year mark, then when I started to do like, you know, kind of dating, you know, casually that it would be just like a couple months. And then it just got really silly. I was like, I'm giving my energy away to so many, like, dummies. I'm sorry, excuse my language. No. But I just felt like people that just weren't worthy of my. energy of my time. Yeah.

Yeah. It was taking away even time for my daughter. And deep down, I really wanted someone to come home to. But I also was like not desperate. And so I said to myself, you know, I'm not like cold-hearted either. I'm open to whatever can come. And I just said a lot of prayers. And I was like, you know, I'm going to commit to my daughter.

God, you are the man in my life. Like, I'm just focused on that. And whatever comes in the opportunity slides in my, not in my DMs, not my But when it shows up, when it shows up, I'll, like, allow me to recognize that. So that summer, I was, like, off of guys. And I was like, I'm all about my friends. And I just had so much fun. And, like, every time I actually said no to a guy, it was like, something felt so good and fulfilling about it.

And I just didn't fall for anything. And, like, the last day of that summer, I was in Centropay with my friends and dancing on the tables at a restaurant. And the host at the restaurant came over and he asked me if I wanted to meet this other pop, like another singer who was French at the restaurant. I said, no, I'm okay. No, I'm okay. No, no.

I said, I'm having fun with my friends. I'm okay. I know, thank you. And he's like, oh, he's a French pop singer. I want to introduce you. I was like, well, if you want to bring it over here, that's fine, but I'm having fun with my friend. I'm not going to go to his table.

And I think that's all for just, you know, you know how that is. Yeah. Let him come over here. You bring him over this way. If not, it's okay. I'm not missing out. I'm perfectly fine. And so he asked maybe two more times.

And of course, for my husband, he was telling me the same thing. He was, you know, the guy wanted to introduce us. And he was like, no, I'm not going over there. My husband knew who I was, but I didn't know who he was. And somehow, at some point, to dancing on the table, they asked me to sing one of my songs. Him and I caught eyes. He happened to be walking and caught eyes. And I was like, whoa, hot.

Hey. What was that? The host saw us, let's see each other, and he just brought us over with each other. And I was like, oh, man, had I known? I was like, I've just said on this guy. Like, I would have been at that table. Oh, I would have been, tell me about it. I would have ran over there.

But he had this, like, really cute French accent and bright crystal blue eyes. And, you know, I told him I was, you know, probably going to come back. And I'm wondering because my sister's, my other sister, her husband is French, or her ex-husband French. And I was like, I'm going to come back in about a month to come visit with her. I was like, maybe we could hang out and I got his number. And then the second that he left, I like, it took, gave my phone to my friend. And I said, Google him. So she Googled him. And she googled him. She's like, oh my gosh, Tina, you guys have the same birthday. Wow. Wow. I was like, no way. I was like, okay, we're definitely hanging out. So I texted him and I was like, okay, I don't

want you to think I'm being weird, but I Google you. And it turns out we have the same birthday. And he's like, what? 26th September? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, let me know where you go tonight. And then the rest is kind of history. Like literally, you know what they say in movies? Like the universe, like everything else disappeared. He came to where we were at afterwards. Because we were at this club like the store to the restaurant. And literally, I don't think my friends existed. Like the two of us were like, and I've never really thrown myself in anybody like, this. I don't think I threw myself at him, but the two of us just had such a connection, it would feel like, you know, two people that were just like magnetic force, you know, with each other.

And, yeah, that night he said to me, like, he said, you and I are going to have a child, like, we're going to have a child together. Oh, stop it. I'm like, oh, okay, is this that French, you know, French stuff? Is that the French stuff? Right. And he says, we're going to have a child together. And I was like, actually, I already have a child.

Oh, right. And her name is Violet. And it's a grin. She's a girl. I mean, I mean, a daughter. Her name is Violet. And she's seven years old. And he's like, but you don't have a song.

He's smooth. Yeah. He's a Libra, right? You're both Libra? He's a Libra. And he said he's never said that before. I really do believe him because he's such a, like, a prude kind of. So whatever it was, he believed in it.

We've had two boys so far now. Wow. And he really, like, the second that we, like, started really connecting that night after that, we were, like, FaceTiming. Two weeks later, I came to visit him and there were together. And then he, like, when he came back to L.A., like, he looked for a house, bought a house. Like, I'm telling you, this is all within, like, two months. Whoa.

We've been together since. So, thank God it wasn't like a. Well, that's what I want to bring up. Yeah. How do you differentiate? Yeah. How do you differentiate? Because everything you're saying, at first you're like, oh, love bombing or bullshit or like whatever, right?

Because of experience. But this is proving to be absolutely 100% genuine and authentic. Yeah. This one, I think, because I knew how passionate I was about that prayer and seeing how committed he was to the things that he was doing. Because a lot of guys say they're going to do stuff. Like, I've been with men where I would like date them for three years. They're like, oh, let's get a place together. And I'm like, okay, let's go look at places.

And then, like, they fall up the planet. Like, you look at places together and then that conversation is just out the door. Whatever happened to that, you know? Yeah. And for him, he really, like, he was about his word. He really, he knew what he wanted. I could tell. And the connection he had with my daughter, too, was really sweet.

That took a little time before I introduced them. But the way he considered me and her, that was a really big deal for me. And yeah, I was just like, I said to myself, I was like, okay, I want to pinch myself, but I was like, you know what, you deserve this. I also told myself, don't question it too much. I said, you prayed for this and you actually deserve this. So whatever it is, I have no, like, just go with it. Just keep going with the flow because it feels right. And, you know, I think if you put any doubt in something that actually does feel right, maybe it couldn't access some kind of doubt, you know, I don't want to manifest that. So it was all right. Yeah. It was good. You know, I want to circle back to one of the things you said about the prayer because I had this

combo with my husband yesterday. We're like, okay, when you pray, the coolest part to recognize, at least in my opinion, is you pray and then God shows up through people, right? It's not like someone gets dropped on your lap and all your prayers are answered, but it usually seems to me that you pray and then a person has the right answer or a person wants to introduce you or a person wants. And when you close the door to that, a lot of time you're closing the door to your prayer.

What you're saying is very true. I think it's people. Sometimes it's like the placement of a thing. I feel like even when you and you have that much faith and those kind of prayers and I think it's the connections of the people around you like you're saying. It's crazy because our world, you're like, how did I end up in this situation? with my whole life, and then I happen to pray on it, and the next thing you know, this month, this week, today,

you know, my prayers were answered and things. Like, they're really, I find answers in so many different things, like the smallest things. It might be a word on a billboard or like, just be like thinking about something, and all of a sudden I look up and I'm like, whoa, okay, there it is. There's my answer. So, yeah, I do believe that I'm a strong believer in prayer,

especially when you're that connected and you feel, sometimes you don't even have to have that connection. When you're trying to find that connection, it's just like talking and just manifesting it through your thoughts and speaking it out loud. Somehow it kind of manifests is way back, I think. Yeah. Do you find more power in one versus the other? Like thinking it versus speaking it out loud? I feel like I speak everything out loud, definitely.

Like I think it and speak it out loud. Even when I read, I'm speaking out loud because I need to hear it again. It's like it's like regurgitating it back into it's like a cycle. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I can't read anything in silence because I'm like, am I actually properly taking this in if I don't hear it up loud? That's just how I, my mind works. So you learn through audio. Yes. I learned through audio and speaking it. And like it's coming and verbal. So I'm very, it's about like the word. It's almost like I have to hear myself to believe it. That's so interesting. I'm the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How do you work? And read it like to retain anything. Yeah.

I mean. Oh, I see what you mean. Oh, I'm the same way, like a script or anything like that. Even like I need to see it on paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like, give it to me on paper or I want to write it down. But yes, you're right.

Like, I'm not only just like if hearing it and memorizing it or just retaining it, it's kind of just, it's a combination of all of those things. Right. For me. But you speak your like affirmations and your prayers and everything else. I do. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

I definitely do. So I heard, and I loved this. They were like, well, if there is a God, why do I have to pray out loud? Can't he hear my thoughts? And the person said to him, you pray out loud every day, not for God to hear you, but so you can hear that you're not God. Oh, that's some new stuff. Write that down and I'm going to have to say that out loud so I can read her you tape out in Shabon.

Can you write that down so I can read it again? Yeah, we'll put it in the chat. You got to retain it. That one struck me, though. I was like, oh, that's brilliant. Yeah. It's a daily reminder that I actually am not the one in charge here. Yeah.

No, no, no, this is true. Absolutely. I mean, there are things in our control, though. A hundred. Yeah, of course. Absolutely, the choices we make. There's a lot of things. It's like, it's crazy because there's so many ways of thinking of things.

it's like, is it already written? Is it, you know, you know, it's like, it's written, but I'm just following the path, but these are the choices that I'm making and I believe I'm making good choices because, but then you're like, is it, was it written? Or did I choose to go down this? You know, so I don't know. I don't know, but I just try to make the choices and try to like, you know, think good thoughts so that good things happen.

Right. Like Dexter? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Come on. Yeah. I should have been some good thoughts.

You know what? That was a good thought. That one was literally that day. I said a prayer that day because I had a meeting with my husband and some like architect. And I was meeting one of them for the first time. And we were going on plans for this, like we're doing like a countryside house. It's really cute out here in France. And it was our first meeting.

And they were like all the attention was only going to my. husband. Like all they were doing, like the whole conversation was just straight up looking at him and I was standing there and I felt like, hello, not only are we a couple, but we do this together. This is something we're doing together. I also realized over time later on, by the way, you know, there, there were French and sometimes French people are a little bit afraid to speak English in front of American people so they get a little nervous and would rather be a little bit off-putting. But at that time, it was the first meeting and we were talking about everything and I just felt like I I just felt like, you know, wallpaper.

And so I remember leaving the meeting and I was kind of mom. Like, but inside, inside. It had nothing to do with my husband, nobody else. And I was like, you know, I've been here in France and I love, like here. Here I'm kind of known as like my husband's wife. I'm Matt's wife, which I don't really need titles and stuff. I'm okay with being right here. Anywhere, I don't, title's not a thing.

But I do work my butt off. And I love to work and I love what I do. and I do have my own definition. I am myself, you know? And I just felt like I needed, I wanted that same respect in that day meeting. So I remember just leaving and I was walking and I was like, why am I so, this is me talking to myself. I'm like, why is I so mad right now?

And I was like, you know, and then I was like, God, I said, I don't like this feeling, but I just want you to know that I'm ready. I said, I'm ready to work because I was over here like figuring out life, my kid just studying school. And I was like, I'm ready to work. I'm ready to do something. but I said not just anything. I was like, whatever there is, like I want to recognize the opportunity,

and I'm going to give it my all. And, but I want to do something that my family's going to be proud of. I want something that my kid's going to be proud of, my husband's going to be proud of, and that's what I'm going to be proud of. And that's what I said. And I think two hours later, I got the call for this audition. And so I was like, oh, wow, that's cool. You know, that sounds really good.

And I got off the phone. I'm not thinking about my prayer that I said right before. and that all of a sudden I realized I was like, oh, you answered my prayer. Okay, this can be asked, all right. And I'm just like, I just knew in my head. I was like, I'm going to give it my all, whatever the case is. But I felt like that was an answer to the dialogue that I had just shared with God. I was like, okay, this is my prayer.

I put this out there. I'm not going to add for something and not give it, you know. And he hands it to me and I'm not giving it my all. So that was this. That was Dexter. Wow. And it's crazy. I kind of, it's one of those opportunities, I kind of before that, might have questioned

if I was worthy of getting that job. Right. No. No, I can ask you, what's the, like if you walk that back, because I find that to be really fascinating is the moment before. Do you think if you hadn't have recognized the feeling, I'm feeling invisible, I'm feeling not worthy, whatever those feelings are, right? And then you worked with it and then you turned that into a prayer of what you do want to experience.

Do you think that had you not done that, you would have responded different to the audition coming in? I think so. I think I might have just been a little, a little. I would have questioned it and be like, oh, I probably would have had some doubt in my head that I, that, you know, that this opportunity is something that they would actually consider me. I think possibly. I mean, it takes what we do as actors. It takes courage. I mean, some things are, you know, they come easy, you know, romantic comedies, things like that come easier for me.

I love to do it. But this is something that's different. And people don't always get to see me in roles like this. And sometimes I don't even get the opportunity to even audition or an offer for something like that, you know? So when that does come up, you know, instantly you can either dive into the, oh my gosh, am I good enough for this? Or you can challenge yourself and say, hey, I really want this and I think I'm worthy of this. And I'm going to give my all. Even at times that I question it, I still am going to give 100%. But there's that little doubt in my mind. That is a little bit like, I'm not going to have to set up a camera. I have to do this. I have to get someone to read with me. But blah, blah, blah. Like there's all of these hurt. even now because you're not going to an audition if you do an audition that you're like I have to make sure my kids are asleep I have to you know it's not that easy sometimes no no no it's not is it is it ever easy? I mean it's not it's not and this wasn't easy at all I was the second it

came up not to say like I definitely was like whoa okay this is an opportunity to be for people to be proud of me and for me to be proud of myself or something different and I But I think there was an encouragement in that prayer and in that opportunity coming up that I said, okay, well, I don't know, it was an answer to it. So it became a little bit more light for me until, of course, the final callback or the screen test or whatever. Dream test. I was like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay, it's happening.

I was like, holy gal. I don't know. I'm obviously you could see on the stronger Libra and prayer that's kind of like my daily life and just kind of my outlook on life is just kind of what brings out the positive side and the kind of like faith kind of the faith driven living is what keeps me like pushing forward and going through my every day and seeing like okay where my journey is going is because of XYZ and I'm just doing doing what I'm supposed to. That's right. Yes. I don't know. It's absolutely 100%.

I was like going like what brought you guys together to do your podcast? Like it's like, it's so funny. I have some of my friends are like, we should do a podcast. I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't know what to talk about, what I would do. Oh, I think you do. I think you do. I'm talking your head off, sorry. No.

No. We love that so much. Like you don't want to hear from us. Like we just. Yeah. We want to hear from you. No, but how cool is it? I love.

love to see like two women who just like I like that even we're talking about the things that we're talking about sometimes people like you know they're away from that because maybe they can't relate or they just don't you know they might not think the audience is interested but no we don't we don't play by any rules yeah like sometimes they're not but we'd like to just you know get into it no matter what it is yeah but we're like best friends from childhood and just really yeah like you know just dove into this thing together. And it's been a journey, but it's great. Yeah, it's amazing.

Yeah, we like these conversations about everything and just not holding back and whether it's relatable or if it's not and just really getting into it. And you're being so amazingly open, which we always appreciate. Oh, you know. And it's just so cool. Yeah. To me, the biggest, like when we got together to do this podcast, the question I love the most is like, how do you be human?

And so when you're being open and you're talking, it's like, to me, that's answering that question more so than how did you get your success or what was the path to that? Because I think the most interesting part, the most digestible and the most inspiring part is how do you be human on a daily basis, whether it's a big job to a small job, we're all just here trying to figure this thing out, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yes. And we're all, I mean, it's a big job to a small job, sometimes job to job. Right. Right. And also it's like, look, people only knew. Yeah. And we know that your life hasn't been without struggle. Yeah. You know, and so to me, I think, I remember once I went to a piano teacher, I went in for a session. I was trying to learn the piano. And I had been going through something. And I walked in and he looked at me and he goes, I don't know who they are or what they did, but don't let them take your smile. Aw. And I was like, oh my God. He was. right. And to me, you're proof of that because I don't know what happened in your previous relationship where you're raising a daughter and all of that stuff. But we're going to go ahead and guess that wasn't easy to navigate. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. But you didn't let it take your

smile. Absolutely. It's funny even you saying about take my smile because I think early in my, like especially in my 20s and when I first started my music career, people used to kind of judge me for being too happy. And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's part of, yeah, I don't know. I used to get things, especially for as music. But, you know, as I'm starting to look at the music industry and all the craziness that's happening and all the things that are exposed and stuff these days, I'm like, oh, people wanted and didn't not, you know,

necessarily be, you know, in this happy, little bubble. And I always had a, in this bubble, I had a certain amount of protection. Like, my mom has been my manager for my whole life. We still work together. And I was happily with her. Like, the two of us worked together. She's my manager. Now we partners, like we partner and stuff. But I always wanted her around with me because I felt like, you know, I didn't want to be like a PSA. You know, I didn't want, I heard to hear about the stories and I like, I actually love what I do and I'm having undoing it. Last thing I want to do is disrupt that. And there were people that would come in and out that would try to disrupt that, whether it be a boyfriend or it be somebody in the industry

or maybe even like a label just dropping me in the middle of everything and just thinking like my whole world to be, you know, over in the public. But I always just kept, I kept moving forward. I always kept smiling. I believed in the positive. I allowed myself to cry, of course. We all need you've got to be vulnerable. But there was something, I always, I went through some tough times even before I became a popular

singer or actress and that's when I found spirituality and I think with my spirituality I was like, okay, I have that. I know I'm always going to be good. So that's where I found my happiness. And so yeah, there were many times people were like, why are so happy?

Or, you know, there's a lot of that growing up. And now I think now I kind of see why. I think I just didn't give in to the negativity or to the other side of things that, you know, could have changed my outcome. So, yeah, I think it's important. I think your smile makes other people smile. Yeah, yeah. I think people have a hard time accepting when they see because I know I've been called out for like, it just seems like you're in a bubble.

Like nothing like gets to you or whatever. And for a long time, I definitely was like that. And people would just not understand and be like you or talk about it negatively. I mean, and then, you know, you get older and shit happens and you're like, oh, this is. Yeah. That's what happened. I was like, oh, okay. Then you have to find that like saying youthful happiness again.

Sometimes I'm like, oh, I miss that like 20 year old bubbly, giggly, you know. Before life happens and you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, exactly. Because it does. I had to be. I think I preserved it long enough. Yeah. I had to be taught how to laugh.

What? Really? When I started to mean, I was the opposite. Like, everyone would always be like, why are you so serious? And I remember in acting class, I had an acting teacher be like, we need to help you find your laugh. And he was like, I want you to go to movies. I want you to laugh louder than anyone in there. Anytime you're in the room, laugh louder, louder, louder, because I didn't feel free to share my joy.

That felt vulnerable. Yeah, which is interesting. That's totally make sense. It is interesting. I'm just hearing a couple things I've never heard her say before and I hear her say shit all the time. We did. We just opened the capsule. You did.

That's what was happening in your childhood with the screen of you guys. Yeah, exactly. I was like, you were in a bubble. I was crying. Yeah, she was like, I was in a storm cloud. You were in like a rainbow bubble. That's exactly right. What I want to like kind of know because, you know, I'm a.

single mom, you know, and I deal with all that. So like, at the time, like, you have your daughter and you meet your husband and whatever. And now you live in France. Like, what was that, like, transition like and, and I'm just so curious because, you know, you have another parent and whatnot and, like, what that looked like for you. Well, most of the time, like, year round, it's a lot of, like, not a lot of. Actually, you know, my ex-husband trusts very much feel like my, some of my, my, my, my, my, my choices that I make, but there are still conversations. And then, of course, you come across the different hurdles of like, oh, I got to update the passport.

I got to do this. Like sometimes there's the things that you kind of dread when you're like, oh, I have to. It feels like a permission thing. But, you know, and you're like, you just want to keep moving around and do your thing. But you're like, no, I have to do this and that. I consider the other person. So we have those moments and we have those times also where, you know, first off, He's remarried and I love his wife and I love their family.

That's amazing. Do they have kids as well? They have kids. Yes. They have kids. And my daughter goes over there and spends pie with them. So we find like holidays and we find different, you know, school breaks, things like that. We switch off and on.

But we've always been in two different states. So since we broke up. So it's always been like that. Yeah. It's always been like that. Got it. So we've kind of, we're kind of used to that lifestyle. And, you know, you come across little hurdles every once in a blue moon.

But as you're, as, you know, it just takes time. It's just time. It takes a couple lessons here and there. And also it's also the relationship they grow between each other or also makes those things different. You know, so, yeah, we've made it work. And I've, like, it's interesting because we haven't had, like, so I'm like, let's do a big, like, your family and my family together kind of thing. I've forgotten of that But we're also

But we recognize each other's You know, Tammy's and making sure we make the time for Violet Well, Violet is the one child that I have In this dilemma that we handle this way But I don't know, we make it work And we root for each other And somehow we've been friends over time

And now we're all like in this good place Where now she's turning 15 And she's kind of making the decisions Like I want to go for Christmas to my dad's To be with my older sister, you know So I'm like, okay, well, you tell your dad or I'll tell her and you let me know. So it's so interesting. It takes some time.

Yeah. What age did you notice her starting to advocate for what she wanted? Well, I've always given her the choice. It's kind of been a choice. And then sometimes it's like, okay, well, this is what's happening, you know? Right. And sometimes even if she's like, react like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that.

And then she'll go. And then she's like, I don't want to come back, Mom. Right. I'm staying an extra two weeks. So sometimes you just have to make the choice for them. But I think like middle school years is like kind of the time where they start, you know, expressing their opinion about the situation. But you always have to just do what's best for them. And it's always, I think, really good for them to have the balance between the two, even if they're like they'd be expressing at the moment.

Because they don't maybe want to make you feel that as the mom. Right. Kids are lazy too. Sometimes they just don't want to do something extra or leave or, you know, we, you know, we. what they know because they're like, I can be on my iPhone for, you know, if I'm hanging out with mom, I could be on my eye cat or this feminine, but whatever one, you know, something silly like that. So, you know, you're like, no, you need this balance. This is what your life is and you have to make these choices for you. And you'll, hopefully,

I know she's in safe hands over there. That's the most important part. Yeah. Yeah, hopefully, she'll think me later for it because that way she has that relationship going both ways. Yeah. I have a question on how long. did it take for you to introduce her to your husband? Obviously, it wasn't your husband yet. But how long and when did you know? How do you know as a mother? Like, this is someone I want to introduce to my kid? It was about two months later because we were like, I guess considering, like we moved pretty fast and he came to Los Angeles from parents. But to be honest with you, we were FaceTiming Sir March. Briley would always see him on FaceTime. And so he was kind of needing

the whole family. I was always with my mom, always with my sisters. You know, I'm picking Violet up from school. I mean, that's kind of the start of our relationship was like hours of FaceTime. And I'm not really a FaceTime person before. I was like, I used to make fun of my friends for doing that. And here I was, you know, on FaceTime driving. And he's just like sitting on the little stand, you know, or, you know,

we would find times with talk to each other in between him working and me doing whatever I was doing. So Violet was introduced to him. over the phone, really. And then when they finally did meet, I remember it was one day, it was like after school. Our nanny had a picture up. And I was taking him to the mall. But it was our birthday. We were going to celebrate our birthday.

Our birthday. So cute. It was our birthday. Same year or no? No, he's 40 years younger. Got it. Yeah. Yeah.

She kissed. My nanny took a picture up from school and then dropped her off to the mall. And that's where we met at the mall. And the first day, my daughter was so excited to meet him. She, like, ran up. And I swear, like, I have to show you the video. It's so funny. She, like, did a show for him.

She's like, he did, like, a cartwheel and a split on the floor, like a chill. No, she didn't. That's how they communicate at that age. You say she was, like, seven or eight. Like, yeah, she was seven. I was like, what's happening? Yeah, she had cartwheel and did the slint. She was like, get out.

I was like, okay. That's so cute. And then there was a candy store right there. They went into the candy store. and they got like, we got chocolate ants when they ate chocolate ants together. That was their thing. And then, like, he is so good with kids.

He's really good with kids. Like, amazing with kids. He was like, literally, I think that year he was the judge of, like, the voice kids and everything. He's done it like two different years in a row. He's awesome with, like, just communicating with, I'm, like, really awkward with other people's kids.

I'm like, I don't know what to say. I don't know. I'm kind of weird sometimes. And he's just such a natural. So it was really cute, the two of them at the mall. That's how they met each other. And like their best friends after that. All of us.

Aw. That's awesome. That is awesome. And did you, you grew up in L.A., right? I mean, you were born in Jersey, but how old were you when we moved to L.A.?

I was 13. Yeah. Okay. 13. 13. It was like 95. Wow. But 95.

I did. I went to, for one year, I went to Loxa, which is, yeah. We grew up here. I did go to Loxa.

Yeah, so I did lots of it, but I didn't do lots of it to, like, you and your year. Before that, I did homeschooling because I originally just came for pilot season with the Oakland Apartments. Yep. Oh, you did it. You went to the Oakland. I was an Oakland kid. Yeah. I was like, me, Jessica Biel, Tristan Dunst, all these kids, you know.

And then I, like, we did the six months. And then just if we're ready to lead, my sisters and I all booked these commercials. and we stayed. And so then we just kept doing home school. And I checked out the schools in L.A. And at that time, going from Maryland, which was like this little, you know, suburban, proper schools. And then all of a sudden it came to L.A.

And I was like, there's fences around the schools. At the time, it was crips and blood. Like, it was scary. I was like, if I got in fights back in, and I used to get in fights just because, just for no reason, like, not me personally, but they would, I got picked on in school. I was like, I can.

can't imagine getting in a fight in L.A. Like, those, those are not, yeah, it's not a final one around. No. So I, so we did homeschooling until, you know, my sophomore year, I decided to try out. Lockstar and it was okay. It was, it was a, it was a nice school. It's much nicer now. They have a really cool pilgrimage, but I went for music. And that was good. And I graduated pretty early. I think I graduated maybe a year and a half early than I was supposed to. Oh, wow. Was it fun at the Oakwoods? I was always, I always wanted to do it. Yeah. It always seemed like a TV show, like all these kids coming to. Right. So serious. It was so much fun. I have so many great memories. It was like one of the best memories of my childhood and my, uh, and my sisters also.

Like I, it's because you're like around like minded kids. You're kind of running around in these little packs, you know, from the pool to the, to the clubhouse. And, And then there's like little events and stuff that are happening and you know of the other parents. Who got what job? Oh my God. So different. It's exciting at the time. It's a little bit of fun.

We've made some really good friends for the long run actually from there. But she'd be surprised. There's a lot of actors. I'm sure. Like, because you know, having that question that came from the Oakwood. I don't know. After that, I feel like we laughed and it was never the same. It's a different name now.

I'll tell you that much. Is it still happening? I have no idea. They changed it. Yeah, I think it's like Ava or something. I almost looked, when I came back for Dexter, I was like, what if? We had just sold our house and I was like, I got to get an apartment or I got to find some place to stay. And I was like, what if I just get a place over there.

And I looked it up and it's cool. It's way different. It's really nice. It's really, it's all new. But I didn't do it. I didn't do it. You didn't do it. That would be what a full circle, right?

Have you ever gone back to like speak or anything? Do they do that? I have it. I don't even know if actors... I don't know if I could go in the same way. I used to... When I was an acting teacher, I used to go in and teach classes there.

At the apartment? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, in like the rec room or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I've only been there to play tennis once. Like, we snuck on a tennis court.

Yeah. Oh, my God. So far. Total opposite. The memories. No, but there's like so many good memories there. That's so crazy. You should just walk in.

You should just walk in. and be like, hey there, it works. You see the season. Stick around. But I don't even know if it even exists like pilot season. Like, no one goes into it. Right. I don't think it's like pilot season anymore.

That's what I think. I mean, I don't know. The world is so crazy now, you know. And like the whole, all of it. Like this whole start of the year. My goodness. What is going on? What is going on?

I know. I know. I'm like, you know what I need to focus. saying I'm working out. I know and I'm here. So I'm like, I feel, you know, and so at least I'm away in some way, but I still feel some little affected because I'm like, this is home and that's my family and as my people, like, I can't separate myself for that. It's back home. So there's some many things that I'm like, you still see the news and everything. So I just try to say focus on the positive. Like I need to start working out. I'm like, no more distraction. And I'm not even,

you know, on my phone like that. I'm not even watching the news that much. I'm not that consumed with their stuff, but you still feel it, you know? Yeah. And so I'm trying. I just telling myself today. I was like, okay, don't let this stuff. It's all the distraction. Like, stay focused.

Do what, like, I need to get back in the gym. Really bad. I haven't started that. But I got to put my health first. They haven't been working out in a second. That always makes they feel good. So soon I got, I think that's my thing. I got to focus on that soon.

Well, that could be your. It helps. Yeah, I mean, it helps for sure. But I mean, I have the hard time doing anything for myself before my child. So do you get homesick for here? Oh. No, you know what? I don't. I don't get homesick now. At the beginning when we first started dating, I didn't get homesick as much as I would like, it was a new lifestyle that I was, I was separating myself on purpose. To be honest with you, I wanted and sacrifice the type of lifestyle that I was living, like, partying with my friends and doing all the same thing. Like it just was so old for me. I was just ready for a change. And I knew if I was committing to this, it was like a lifestyle change. So I really spent like my health, like less social drinking, working out, less partying, which meant a lot of saying no to my friends like about going out or going to dinners or doing stuff. And at the beginning, of course, like it's easy because you're so in your relationship.

And then it comes a time where you're like, I kind of miss my friends. But then your friend stopped asking you. Right. It's about going out because they're like, well, you say no all the time. And you're like, no, but I just want to still be considered. That's me. I know. I'm like, she says no every time but still wants to be asked.

Yeah. I want to be asked. For sure. Still. I'm not going to go, but. It was a lot of that. And then I finally was like, then I found, like, different hobbies. And I was happy that that, like, going out thing wasn't.

really my thing anyways. And I pick and choose when I go out or when I like meet up with my friends or if we're like someone's birthday. Like I, one thing about my husband, he's super supportive about anything I want to do. So if it is about a trip with my friends or something, these are choices that are up to me. You know, he's never like, he doesn't put a hurdle in front of me for that or doesn't guilt trip me about it. Even though in my mind at the beginning, I thought maybe he would. So that kind of like, I'd set that up for myself in my own head. And it turns out not like that at all. So yeah.

Yeah, no, it's really good. So, no, I don't get. I think a lot of people, especially even since the pandemic, everything is just different now. Anyway, so now they're way more understanding of it. Before that, they were kind of like, Tina is no fun anymore. And then all of a sudden pandemic hit and people are like, staying home or maybe I'm going to go out or maybe not. You know, so they kind of, they get me now. Yeah.

But yeah, I thank God for like social media and for, of course, based on our phones. And I still communicate very much with my friends. And they catch me up with what's going on. Yeah, no, I don't really miss out on too much. I like what's happening around me. And then my friends are really supportive as well. It's nice to have friends that do the same as my husband, too, that support it. Because it was difficult for them that I changed, like, kind of everything.

Yeah. But I was ready for that change. I have to be honest with you. I was like, that's part of the prayer. I was like, I'm so tired of this. I don't want to go out anymore. I don't want to do this. I'm tired of seeing people.

Like, I was over it. It had nothing to do really with just my husband. I was just so done with it. So I was just ready. And so, yeah, I, we had like throughout the years, like in the beginnings, me and my friends would have like one-on-ones, once in the blue moon. And we would, like, cry to each other. Like, I'm in you.

I love you. I just want you. like I'd think about you We would have these conversations Because sometimes they thought that maybe I was like so like so done That I just didn't care about them or that I'd looped on And and there was such a big shift in our friendship But the friendship was still there

They were always in my heart They were always still like you know family to me It's just you know Things had changed a bit so But it was nice to have those moments with them Yeah Like totally yeah I am

Yeah This is going to be still out of left field, but there was something I was thinking about that I wanted to ask about. The food at the schools. Well, the food in France, obviously, like the butter. I can't even. But. Oh, I love the better.

The school meals, are they so different than what you would see here? Okay. So my daughter tells me, she's not fond of this, full meals. Like, she's, she said, but they're totally different, yes. Because it'll be like, you know, a salad. or like it'll be a sandwich, but it's like full French bread. Right. And she's like, where are my chicken fingers?

Yeah, yeah. It's not. It's a really different menu that they have. So it's different. Sometimes, I mean, she's gotten used to it and she eats it. Actually, I make her lunch every day, so she takes lunch with her from home every day. But when she's at it, you know, sometimes she's like, wrong and boring. It's the same thing.

So she's that. crazy about it. That's okay. It's just people like, I think fantasize so much. I know I do. Like, oh, living in France. And like you send your kids to school in France and like the food and then this and like there's not as many preservative like all the things. But like you're actually living that. Yeah. No, that part, especially like you're saying all the preservative. Yeah. Things that were like, yeah. I never thought. I met when I first started dating my husband, I was like, oh, he's such a food, you know, about the food and all that stuff. And then I finally get it.

I'm like, oh, wow. We're really consuming. such bad things and the amounts of the food and and just what's in it. I feel safer here when it comes to that. It feels fresher. It tastes different. Even my palate is different. I used to need a lot of seasoning and a lot of flavor at something. And now even my palate is kind of, it's settled down.

I can, I'm fine with something that just has salt and pepper. Wow. And olive oil. I'm like, wow, okay. It's fresher. It's the, you can enjoy the fruit or the vegetable or anything like that. No. So, yeah, your palate changes after a wall.

Yeah. I'm hungry? I make my kid a fresh lunch every day and he picks the school lunch. Oh, yes. And then he comes back home with his full lunch. I'm like, dude. What are they serving? I have no idea because he can't really talk.

Right. So I don't know what he's eating. Like, I know that when I've gone to pick him up. It must be good. But it's like burritos and plastic. bags that like you gotta know they're heating it in that it cannot be good for them oh my gosh that was my life i used to love those me too oh my god of course what about like give me that yeah it was the best what about those imagine what was in there do you remember those like taco boats

do you remember they were like that's in l-a they had that my sisters had that yeah i loved those and the nachos the nachos were the nachos were the nachos were the The best. This is where we just go off the rails. And that just were good. They were good. They were good. And they were good.

And like a scoop of cord on the side. Like, okay. I never know. Now it's healthy. There we go. Oh, man. I really just idealize like how you're raising your kids over there though. Yeah.

And I love that we talked to a friend today. Actually, we were talking about like the difference between homeschool or keeping your kids in the same school. And I'm the philosophy like they're adaptable. Life is an adventure. let's go. Let's keep moving. I love that. Don't be afraid to like continue to live your life. Kids like you said, they're adaptable. They'll go with the flow. It's all like a fun adventure for them too. I'll be afraid to like meet people out of the box. It's a single mom. I was definitely in like this box and I was like part of that friend was like let me just open my eyes.

And let me see what like let me not think it's only this one thing or one type, you know. And, yeah, and just never know. I never thought I would date somebody from, you know, Europe or from out of the country, out of the U.S. That was my first time. And it was presented to me. I was like, okay, well, let's try this. And if this is part of it, then let's go. We got to move.

We got to do this. All right. It's exciting. Like, who would I want to move these days anyways? Exactly. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm like, you went with the flow.

I need to go to a club in San Trope and dance on the table. Yes. I'll leave you here this summer. I've got some people. Oh, my God. please let's go I am all about it yeah definitely get out of town and they'll take you and you have your I have one daughter your one daughter okay she's 10 it's awesome how that's great see I had a seven-year-old daughter two different cultures two different cultures too good four I like

who would know that's very yeah what a cool just experience you know and you're awesome you are awesome Thank you. You both are too. Thank you every year time. Yeah, we're so happy to talk to you. You're just the best. And can't wait to watch Dexter. I know. That's super exciting. Dexter. You guys have to check out anybody listening. Check out Dexter original. We're on like episode eight or nine. I'm praying Maria Ligwarka. One of the biggest fun, like, challenges I've ever experienced as like becoming this character. Obviously, I prayed for it. And I was like, I'm going to give it my all and I got it.

And she's a strong woman from, you know, from Miami's Cuban, who's just the first, you know, female homicide detective at amongst a bunch of men in the 90s. So I get to, you know, I think I got to pursue her. And now we have a showout. So, everyone check it out. It's good. So cool. Congratulations. Thank you.

Very exciting. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thanks. Thanks for talking this today or tonight for you. Oh, yeah. No problem. It's no problem.

And hopefully, what did he say? We'll meet our person. Yeah. Wow. We would love that. Or you come here. Don't. Yeah, I'd rather come there.

We're going to let you know when we go. I'll follow you guys. We're going to get Rachel on the table. Oh, yeah. It's the only goal. Yeah. No, but your story's inspiring. One of the things that I love most and it's been the theme of the week is going with the flow.

And people are always like, oh, I'm in and out of flow or I'm not in flow. And I'm like, what you have to remember is, flow sometimes rapids. Right? It's not always calm. It's not like I'm in flow and that means it's calm. You don't know you're in it. Yeah.

Sometimes the flow is like really a rapid river or it changes whatever. But it sounds to me like you are so intentional and you've gone with the flow of your life and you're living proof that that can be a really powerful thing. I love it. let's hopefully pass this message on to everybody. Yeah. Feel our good energy coming out from our voices in our video. Hello.

This is our PSA. Yeah. There we go. So you did become a PSA. Yeah. I made it. Yeah. Awesome.

Well, you have an amazing night with your husband. Thank you. You too. And thank you for your time. And it's good again. Yeah, for sure. Thank you. Take care.

You too. Bye. Thank you. Goodbye. That was a hate gum podcast.