Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Christina Ricci on PTSD, Insincere Apologies, and Women Objectifying Women

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Christina Ricci [The Addams Family, Yellowjackets, Wednesday] talks with Rachel and Olivia about her difficult childhood, apologizing without meaning it, and a jarring dream about a horse. They also discuss women leading with looks when complimenting each other, how we influence our kids, and putting youthful beauty on a pedestal. Broad Ideas is supported by SpiiderGriip. Go to SpiiderGriip.com and use discount code IDEAS at checkout and receive 30% off and Free Shipping. Broad Ideas is supported by Blissy. Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code RACHEL to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/RACHEL. Broad Ideas is supported by Opti-Greens 50 from 1st Phorm. Visit 1stphorm.com/ideas. Broad Ideas is supported by Mosh. Head to moshlife.com/IDEAS to save 20% off plus free shipping on your first 6-count trial pack.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas. Welcome to broad ideas. Welcome.

It's that kind of day. Someone I have admired for a very, very, very long time. And I get into that a little bit with our guest today because she is a peer and someone I always looked up to, which is pretty awesome. And who I met not long ago and we had such a fun night. and I was so happy that she came to talk with us today. You guys met on the set of Casper? Raya.

Ryan. Yeah. We met at dinner, but yes, Miss Christina Ricci, joins us today, fellow mom. The original Wednesday, Adams. That's right. Buffalo 66. Adams family.

Do you remember that song in the 90s from the Adams family? Of course. Yeah. I was in a dance group and we had a song to it and we all. Anyway, let's get into it and I'll shut up. Sometimes when the inside of lots are swirling inside. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings.

We'll talk about boys and... Because people die. Hi. Nice to see you. How you doing? I'm doing good. Good. Christina, this is my best friend, Olivia. Hello.

Hi, how are you? Good. How are you? Gosh. It was so funny because, you know, we obviously, we met at that Redarte dinner and you saved me because I went totally alone and I have such social anxiety and I'm going to this thing. Me too. That's why I brought my husband.

Even though no men were really invited. Oh. Or allowed. Yeah. He was like, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. And I was like, well, you are. So it's fine. Yeah.

You're like, you are with me. But you guys are so rad. I was so happy that I sat with you guys and met you and you really made my night and saved me. so thank you. Oh, yeah, no. And, but, you know, you have publicly talked about, you know, just divorce and new marriage and kids and everything and juggling that and juggling a career and all of it. And you've been doing what you do for so long, which is amazing. But, you know, coming into the adulthood part of it and having to juggle all of that can be really hard.

It is. I mean, I know, you know, they always say, you hear all these things, right? like being a parent is hard. And you're like, yeah, I'll say, yeah, it's really hard. But then like what hard actually means, you're just like, no way. Right. No way. But they didn't tell me this.

I did not know specifically what hard meant. And like divorce is hard. And you're like, yeah, no, it sounds terrible. But then when you get into it, you're just like, oh, it's, oh, this is what they meant by hard. Oh, right. You know what I mean? Like all the platitudes all of a sudden take on teeth, I guess.

Right. Right. I mean, there's, yeah, there's so many levels to it. And I think adulting in itself is hard. But yeah, doing it in the public eye, too, and you've had to do that your whole life. I mean, you started acting. How old were you? I was seven.

Seven years old. In mermaids, right? Were you? Well, no, I was nine in mermaids. Nine. So I started acting when I was seven. I did like TV commercials and voiceovers of like a pilot here and there. And then I ended up doing mermaids when I was nine.

Wow. So no one, I was in the public eye until I was not, I guess, 10. But I mean 10, you know, like that's so crazy. And I know your son's eight, right? Is he? Yeah. Okay. And my daughter's eight.

And I think about it like, you know, basically they would already be working. And then in a couple years they would be famous and in everything. And it's just such a crazy thing. But you've done it so gracefully and beautifully. Well, thank you. There's a lot of the graceless part wasn't covered. Oh. Nobody saw.

You know what I mean? I kept all that hidden. So we did it well. Well, it's kind of hard to be human, right? I mean, regardless of if you start acting at a young age or an older age, it's like you're going to go through those peaks and valleys of being human regardless. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I, you know, people ask me a lot and, you know, I get a lot of questions about like surviving Hollywood. And I'm always like, yeah, Hollywood isn't really the problem. It's real life. Right. Like, you know what I mean? Talk about your body image issues when you're young because of Hollywood. I'm like, I don't know if it was because of Hollywood.

I feel like everybody in this life suffers. Correct. Absolutely. It's the personal things that really get you. Yeah. It's everything that's happening not, you know, on camera or yeah, or whatever. Exactly. Yeah, it totally is.

And you, I heard you speak openly about, you know, like PTSD and going through things and how that can still affect you, even if you're over it or past it, but your body can trap these things. And it's something I've been dealing with a lot lately of like going through trauma. And I'm okay with what has happened in my life, but then something will happen and trigger it. And even if I'm past it, my body will react. And it's like this crazy thing. And I don't know, you know, and sometimes there's a stigma or whatever if you're so open about talking about like your traumatic response. but I think it's such a beautiful conversation,

and I love that you've talked about it so openly. Well, I think, you know, what's so great about right now and hopefully in the future is that people are actually really talking about these things and aware of these things. And I didn't know any of this stuff, you know, like there's this amazing book, the body keeps the score. Yeah.

And it's about trauma and it's about PTSD. And just all of those concepts, I didn't know those things until I was, 40 years old, you know, and I had a really traumatic abusive childhood. And if these things had been spoken about when I was in my 20s, I probably wouldn't have repeated those mistakes and put myself in another abusive situation that I then had to deal with in my 40s, right? You know what I mean?

Right. And just the idea that you were in a, like, it was so confusing to be somebody recovering from that kind of trauma in my 20s in the year 2000, when we all. all had to be like you remember we all had to be perfect well behaved um god forbid you ever like slipped up and somebody could like you felt like someone was seeing you're crazy or like you know my sister and i have this thing where i'll ask her like is my crazy showing because you know it almost feels like you can like sometimes you feel like it's written all over my face you know and and there was such a fear when we were younger to even expose those kinds of things or ever be upset or vulnerable or

And so what I think is so great now is that there are people talking about it and there are so many resources. And I think it's incredibly important because it explains so much for so many people. Yeah. And we're raising children too, which I think adds a whole other element of like if everything's open and on the table and you can talk about these things and hopefully there's tools there or whatever that can help someone else, especially raising the young ones. Like it's just, I think it's such an advantage, you know? Yeah. And even to just allow people, like when I was young, I was so confused by who I was and

why I felt the way I did and why I reacted the way I did and why, you know, that whole like, why can't I just be normal? Yeah. Why can't I just have a normal reaction? Why is there always something wrong? Right. And I think to give somebody the information and vocabulary to understand those things, then allows them to sort of say like, okay, so I'm dealing with this extra thing, but it's not who I am,

and I understand how it affects me. And I don't know, they have more of a chance of having a successful emotional life earlier than maybe we did. Or me. Or than I did. No, I mean, yeah. I find me. Do you think it has to do? Because this is something I've questioned in my own life. Like, for so long growing up, I felt like I had to pretend to be normal. And I wore this mask and I hid the trauma, all the, you know, stuff that went on in my family. And it was like, I never wanted anyone to see it. And then finally, as I grew up, I took the mask off and I started to lead with it and just be like, yep, this is it, you know.

And there was just such a sense of relief of like, oh, I'm not hiding anymore. I'm just going to go ahead and show you my crazy so that I don't have to hide it because it's costing me to hide it. do you feel like that's attached to age and you just get to a certain point where you kind of surrender or do you think that that is something that young women, if they had the vocabulary and support could get to? Yeah, but I also think it depends on what you're crazy is. You know, I went through a period where I was like, well, this was done to me. It's not my fault. This is now who I am and how I feel. And everyone's just going to have to deal with it. But my crazy was full of resentment, paranoid, thought everybody was out to get me, you know, hated everyone.

So that's not really the best crazy to walk around the world with. That actually doesn't do anybody any favors. Like, and it's hurt, you know, it also was hurting myself. So I had to kind of, I had this realization where I was just like, you know, allowing all of the trauma of my past to dictate who I am now is actually letting the people. people hurt me win, right? So I can be as honest with myself and other people about why I might have this issue and but I have to ultimately try to do what will be best for me. Yeah. And seeing the world through that lens is not best for me. Or anyone, right? Because then your kids are going to absorb it and exactly. But I, but I do.

do think that what you're saying is about like having the freedom to finally stay like sorry this is what's actually going on and this is actually who I am. I'm not so sure for me it came with age. I think for me it came more with knowing that people were not allowed to to not accept it anymore. Do you mean? Those things like they're not allowed to call you fat anymore and they're not allowed to call you crazy because of things that happened to you. And so I think that for me was like when I was sort of like, no, I can actually just tell people. Like, I don't like you touching me because I've had this thing happen to me. And I'm sorry, I need you to ask.

Yeah. That kind of stuff. Right. Oh, yeah. The fact that you even had to just say that sentence really upsets me. Well, you know, as actors, we get touched all the time. No, not that. But I just mean like being told, being told you're fat or you're crazy.

A lot of those things are just things that be. We're like the touching thing. Touching. Yeah. We're used to that. I'm like, that doesn't bother me at all. No, I mean, just the fact that women are subjected to that kind of attention with their bodies and also with any sort of emotion you're labeled as crazy.

Yeah. I mean, I think those were always my two biggest insecurities when I was younger. That someone would call me crazy or someone would call me friends. They were like right together. Oh, my God. Equally is bad. But it's great now and no one can. They're not allowed to.

Oh, yeah. Boundaries, right? That's a whole other thing. You learn as you get older. You're like, oh, this is something I can apply and especially, you know, in what you do. I think it's amazing. I think you're such a great example, though, of just everything that you've openly gone through and talk about and then to see where you are today and a beautiful wife and mother and professional, you know,

actress and everything. I just think it's really inspirational. And I think, like I said, to have been doing it for as long as you have. and had the attention, you know, whether it was in your professional life or personal life. But just to do it with grades, because you have, I know you said you didn't show like maybe the not grateful parts. We all still love you. Yeah.

Yeah, no, but it's so admirable. You know, I remember being in elementary school when Adam's family came out and just idolizing you and being like, Wednesday. And I would go around and tell everybody, like, I was in a performance group that like would dance at senior citizen homes. And we were doing like the Adams family song what the song was from that movie. I forget now. But and I was like, you guys, I'm playing Wednesday because I was born on a Wednesday.

So like clearly I have to be Wednesday. And they all like fell for it. And I learned like recently I was born on a fucking Tuesday. Oh. False narratives. I mean false narratives. But I still got to play the part that I wanted in the group because I just idolized you and I thought it was the coolest thing. And to see the life that has.

had has to be pretty cool too and being involved in the new wave of it. Yeah. No, it's been really fun. Yeah. So fun. And you get to just do it and revisit and all of it. And I think that is fun in itself. But your career, there's so many things that you've done and so different. And currently your show, Yellow Jackets, which is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. She's start. Yeah, I have it to binge on an airplane ride. Which is my favorite thing to do. How has that been for you? Yellow Jackets has been really great and really fun. And, you know, it's the first time I've worked with five women in their 40s. And we all kind of, you know, everybody's really invested in, you know, the art form instead of like what we look like.

And, you know what I mean? Like, it's amazing to have all five of us and we completely, we show up and we let them make us look like crap. And then we like get into it. You know what I mean? And we've spent so much time together this season and really all gotten so close. And it's the first time I've really had that. And so that's been pretty incredible. Yeah.

For sure. And also it's a show where like the parameters for us are so broad. And there's never any sense of like having to be likable or soften this edge or, well, that was a little too crazy. You know, it's like it's just really fun and freeing. and there are in any of the constraints that I felt in the past being a woman and being on a show. Right.

I mean, what a strong group and supportive and all of it. I think, yeah, that has to be such a cool experience. Do you guys find yourself, like, wanting to mentor the young girls you work with? I mean, in both shows. You know, they're not that young, you know. And not only are they not that young in numbers, but in spirit, like, sure, Jenna's 20.

Right. But she is more confident than a lot of, like, women in the 30s that I've met. And I'm so talented and so capable and smart. And I would feel condescending. Totally. You know, it would feel so condescending of me to offer my mentorship. Right. And then, you know, with the cast on Yellowjackets, like, again, they're adult women.

Many of them have been acting since they were children. I also just always feel condescending. when I offered anyone anything. So I wait. And, you know, Samantha, who plays Young Misty, has never needed any advice in terms of being an actress. Right. But we've talked about things outside of that.

Right. I've just spoken a lot about how now that I'm older, the way I feel about how I felt about myself when I was her age. Right. So we've had conversations like that. And, you know, the whole, like, you're never going to be as beautiful as you are right now. Mm-hmm.

Your body's never going to be as good. So keep that perspective in mind. Like enjoy your physicality now and all that stuff instead of being too critical and those sorts of things. Yeah. It's really hard. I feel like I saw something on TikTok the other day that really upset me, like deeply upset me.

It was all of these gorgeous actresses when they were young and now when they're in their like 70s or, you know, close to 80s. and it was like beauty doesn't last. And I was like, okay, let's redefine what beauty is. Like you're telling me this woman in her 80s that survived until that age that that's not beautiful and that's the messaging, right? Well, yeah, I find that too all the time. I always correct myself because I'll think something like, oh, she was so beautiful.

It's like, no, she is still herself and she is beautiful. you know, the other things, you know, it's like, oh, you're beautiful with blonde hair, you're beautiful with black hair, you know, you're beautiful, you're just older. You're just older. And it's going to happen to all of us and this idea that you're only beautiful when you're young is alarming. I agree with you. I wonder if you guys deal with this too because I'm not going to lie. Like I had to instantly stop myself when you came on. And before we went on camera, I was like, God, she looks fucking amazing.

Like you're gorgeous. You look so beautiful. And that's the first thing I want to say. And I have to hold myself back and be like, do we have to lead with that all the time? Like, is that the first thing you bring to someone? Yes. No. But you know what I mean? Like even as the giver of that, I feel like sometimes I need to hold back on that because there's so many more valuable things about you than that. I agree. I try to, I mean, I have the same impulse though. I mean, everything I have to say when I first meet someone who's about their physicality. And I do, I hate that about myself. I hate that I do that.

And I'm always telling my son that, you know, the last thing you mentioned is somebody's appearance. Yeah. And I am extremely small. I'm five for two, but you're small too. Five to. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I really hate it. It makes me feel like everybody is an animal. How much nobody can stop talking about my size. Right. Right. I'm just like, I'm so sorry. All right. Like, are you complete and total animal? That's like all you see is like, oh, creature

smaller or bigger. You know what I mean? It's right. It's so frustrating to me. So I have a huge, yeah, I'm always telling my kid, like, we do not comment on people's physicality. Wow. But at the same time, though, if you're going to say something nice, I feel like it should be okay. Well, that's a thing. No, I'm curious about that. Someone posted something recently that was like a bunch of different ways to compliment someone that's not based on their physicality. and like things to look for to start prompting that in us. And when your first thing is to go to the aesthetics, like, can you take a moment and find something else that you genuinely see in that person?

Right. Yeah, that's a much better practice. Right. But it's hard because the first thing. I'm going to try it. I was trying it today and I'm like, well. No, but it's true because the first thing you do is you see somebody and that's going to be your instant reaction, you know?

Yeah, because you don't really know that much about people. I guess you could be like, I'd love the creative way you put together your outfit. Yeah, right. Just like find ways to twist it. Like, that is an excellent pairing. You're good with color. You're good with color. But yeah, I'm constantly putting it in my daughter's head.

Like, you are so kind, you know? And like I just reinforce that over and over and her. Because she really is, you know? And yes, I think she's beautiful. She's, of course, you know, she's mine. I think she's beautiful. But like, I always am just saying that. And I'm like, this is the most important thing, you know?

Like, how you treat people? and your insides and da-da-da-da-da, you know, because it is, we are naturally trained to look at someone's aesthetic and be like, oh, that's beautiful or they're beautiful. But changing the narrative's hard. Broad Ideas is supported by Spider Grip. Oh no. Did you drop your phone again? You need to get a spider grip. Spider-grip keeps your phone in your hand right where it belongs. It's the phone grip that won't slip. Spider-grip props up as a stand, rotates 360. 60 degrees and lays flat locked in place easily fitting into your pockets or purse. Spider grip is comfortable, durable, and functional, and appeals to anyone who has a phone.

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Try now risk free for 60 nights at blissy.com slash Rachel and get an additional 30% off. That's B-L-I-S-Y-S-Y dot com slash Rachel. My big thing with my kids is, and with my son especially because my baby's not old enough to understand what I'm saying to her. But I always tell Freddie, like your value in life is what you contribute, you know, to a conversation, to a room, to the world, to one person. Just because I think, too, with so much emptiness and social media and all that stuff, I feel like that's a good way of measuring things.

Yeah. Yeah. What did I actually contribute with this post or with this? I love that. You know what I mean? And sometimes it doesn't have to be, I mean, we don't all have to change the world, but like having it be positive instead of negative. Yeah, it could be a laugh.

It could be a giggle. It could be a smile. It could be anything that is uplifting the world, not bringing it down. And yeah, I think that kids all the time are looking at us. like, did I do a good job? Mm-hmm. Was this good? And I find myself still doing that all the time.

I'm like, did I do good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. It's one of those things like, did you feel good? Mm-hmm. Did you feel good about what you contributed versus did you do a good job? Yeah, that's interesting also.

Yeah. Yeah. But I love what you say to your son. I mean, when you think about us like trying to form these people because. I know. It is terrifying. Terrifying. I know. And everything, you're like, oh, did I just fuck everything up with like one little comment or how I handle one thing.

Yeah. My reaction to this. Yeah. Right. And sometimes you can't help it because, listen, we get tired or impatient or grumpy or whatever it is or we're getting our period and things come out of our mouse and we react certain ways, you know, and I look back and I'm always like, oh, I can't believe I did that. But then again, I think it's important for us to not always be so hard on ourselves, you know? That's the biggest. Yeah. And I say too that as long as you acknowledge it and you're able to say like, hey, I reacted poorly in that moment. I'm so sorry. Right.

That apparently that does go a long way with kids. No, did. I apologize so much. I actually had this thing today with my son where he was really, he was really crazy last night, and he's for having a lot of sleep progressions. But in the sort of trying to get him to go to sleep, he became out of control and tantrummy and blah, blah, blah, blah. But he never apologizes.

And I'm always like, how could you live with me? all the time and not have absorbed apologizing, right? All I do is apologize to the point that people are like, you apologize too much. And I'm like, apparently not, because my kid doesn't even think of it. He doesn't even think of it. Yeah, it's interesting. You know, and all kids are programmed differently. I saw something, I don't know where I saw, probably Instagram.

And there was this book about like, moms, don't be so hard on yourselves. Check out how these moms handle things. And it's all about animals, like in the wild. Oh, boy. And some of them are like, oh, they eat you. You know? Like this mom will literally eat you. So you're doing great.

No, it's like, I feel like that's a book all of us should have as a reminder. My mom apologizes to the couch when she bumps into it. Legitimately. I mean, I'm not far from that. You know, I'm like, mom, it's going to be okay. You don't have to apologize to the couch. So that to me speaks to like anthropomorphizing objects. I, when I load the dishwasher, I put all the sharp knives in their own area away

from the helpless forks and spoons and not sharp knives so that they don't get hurt by the sharp knives. Wow. That's courteous. That is empathy. My husband was like crazy. It's really crazy. They don't do anything in there. They just get washed. They get washed. No. They get washed. But I totally can see it. No, but I can see it. Like I can see them coming to life while they're washing and attacking the other. It's like fully, I'm fully. It's probably probably the craziest thing in ever revealed. No. There you go.

Fun with that. No, but I totally am with you. I completely see it. I'm not even kidding. No, we all, you know, we all have those things. I remember being told never apologize, but like in acting. Oh. I'm told all the time not to apologize.

And I'm always telling everyone. I'm like, I don't really mean it. It's just, I'm just saying it. You're just because I apologize constantly. Right. It's just like a natural. So I'm like, can you be happier? And I'm like, oh, yeah, sorry.

Great. And then they're like, don't apologize. I'm like, I'm not. really sorry. I just said it. It's just habit. It's habit for sure. Yeah.

Habit. Habit. But people really get down to me, especially women now, but they're like, you should stop apologizing. Yeah. Right. Right. I mean, I don't really, like, but that's the thing.

It's not sincere. I'm not sincerely. I'm sorry. So I feel like I get a pass. You're like, I'm putting it out there. I'm not actually apologizing that. Maybe that's why my son doesn't apologize because he realizes that it's meaningless. And the mom just says it all the time and she doesn't actually mean it.

Wait. I mean, that actually, I think you may have just solved it. That's pretty, pretty intuitive and insightful. But yeah, I remember just, I think Peter Gallagher told me he's like, just was like, don't ever apologize. And I'm like, on set. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I apologize.

That's basically my reaction. Well, but that's very male. Men have been allowed not to apologize for anything for a really long time. So it's probably easy for a man to be like, I'll never apologize for this. Right. No one really expects you to, huh? So it's fine. That is an excellent point.

I didn't ever, ever thought of it that way. But he's also right. You should as an actor be able to do lots of stuff and not apologize for it, you know. Unless it's shitty. Right, unless you're doing something. Unless it's like inappropriate and you, you know, heard someone else. Right. Right.

I was going to say something you're not supposed to do. But how are you at taking compliments? Because I feel like those are the same things. I am not good at it. In fact, most people who I work with, like in terms of publicists or hair and makeup or whatever, know that I like to be told that it'll do. Or that's good enough. Oh. Yeah, it's fine.

You look fine. I like to be told I look fine. And even on set, like the writers on Yellow Jackets know that my favorite compliment is, yeah, that's going to fit great. That's going to work. Wow. Really? I really don't like, like, extra specific attention. Because if I hear it's fine, I'm offended.

I feel like, really? Like if I show something to my mom and she's like, it's fine, I'm like, oh. Oh, it's horrible. Well, I don't have a bit. I guess, well, you know, it's funny. When you said your mom, it made me think like my background, we're not a very effusive bunch. you know, like we're not, we're fairly like conservative with our praise. That might be why it makes me uncomfortable.

But I also, I don't know. I don't know why. I just, I'm not good with compliments. Yeah, but you were saying it goes hand in hand, right? Like the. I feel like the apologizing. Apologizing and being able to receive compliments go hand in him. I could see that.

At least from what I've noticed. Because it's like, I don't know how to. explain the connection. I get it. Well, like you're like the idea that you're apologizing for your existence and then for somebody to acknowledge your existence with a compliment, it's two sides are the same. Exactly. Or two expressions of the same feeling.

Right. Right. It's true. I really do like to be invisible. And when I was younger, that's how I always dealt with any discomfort. I literally tell myself I didn't exist. And none of it was really happening. So that I could just keep doing whatever.

Like on set, I would do that a lot if there was like a lot. attention or someone wasn't nice or any of those things that I remember being on set when I was like 25 and saying it to myself over and over again and then thinking oh it's probably really unhealthy. I didn't realize that like I just it had never occurred to me how unhealthy that was and then once I realized it I did try to stop doing it. It definitely goes with some of the things you've shared about that you struggled with in your youth as far as eating and I don't know if that's true, but I would think that any sort of eating disorder and feeling invisible would go really well together. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I know that the reason I had my

eating disorder and the main thing that I felt the whole time it was happening was that I wanted people to actually be able to tell by looking at me how bad at a time I was having. Wow. Like that was my whole, I would make myself look sicker while it was happening because It was really for me a cry for help. Oh, my goodness. And how old were you when? I was 14, but I only did it for a year. Yeah.

So I finally got to a point I had this crazy dream where I really realized that all I was doing was hurting myself. And so then I just had to stop. Wow. So a dream is what did it. Yeah, I had this really crazy dream, which I know, no, it's not, you know, do you want to hear my dream? Yeah. I kind of really want to hear your dream. I was 14 and I was 15 at the time and I had been in therapy for this and I'd been struggling.

Like some days I would commit to eating and then I would freak out and stop and I couldn't just get past it. And I had this dream and I've always really loved animals and, you know, really, really love animals. Like I wave at strange dogs. I wave hello at them and like, you know, I really, really love them. My whole childhood. So anyway, so I was, I had this dream that I was with a horse. And I loved this horse. And I was like brushing the horse and doing all like the tack stuff afterwards.

And then just like with the horse, like nuzzling and just loving this horse. And an alien came down and said that in order to something like the world was going to end. And the only way that we could change this was killing the horse. And I was devastating. I was so upset and I didn't want to kill the horse. And I also didn't really trust that what the alien was telling me was real, but I had this sense that this alien was going to hurt me if I didn't do what I was told. And so that I was like, okay, I guess we kill the horse, but we let its throat or whatever.

And he said, no, you need to cut out its stomach while it's still alive and it's got to bleed to death. And so I had to do this in my dream while I was crying and the horse was screaming. and I woke up and very much realized that that was about what I had been doing to myself. Oh, my God. And then I stopped. Wow. And that horrible anorexia thing that happens happened to me where like your worst fear comes true because your metabolism is so slow that you immediately gain like 50 pounds. So that happened.

But, you know, I just kept remembering the horse. Oh, my God. What a profound dream. That, wow. It was really insane, the dream. That's insane. And it was like one of those dreams that, like, I just woke up. changed. Wow. Floor, like, yeah, just. Is that, do you, do you find that to be, I don't know what

your thoughts on our own things outside of being human spiritually or universe or your subconscious? Like, do you think that was your subconscious telling you that and waking you up? Or do you think it was kind of like a divine intervention of a sort? I think it was my subconscious. I've always had a very strong subconscious. Like as a child, I would end up just, I always just always felt like I had a very strong subconscious. Let's just say that.

And so I do think that. And I also had come to realize that the problem with anorexia for me was that you tell your brain something over and over and over again and you program it. Yeah. So that it tells you those messages back to keep you in line. and I lost control over the messages that were being sent to me by my brain. You know, I started to feel like my own mind was my worst enemy because what I was telling myself to do was so bad for me.

And so I think that had a lot to do with that dream. And I think, too, that probably what I really knew was right was so buried. So I do believe that that was my subconscious coming forward. and finding a way for me to see things as clearly as possible. Wow. I mean, and you said, you know, your mind was your biggest enemy, and I think. And that's what's scary is when you realize you don't have control of yourself. Right.

Like that was the most, when I realized that, that was so scary. Because, you know, especially if so much of all that stuff is about control, and then you're like, well, I can't even, I've lost control of this too. Right. Right. That's, yeah. And that's another thing, you know, and it's another narrative. I know who keeps saying that.

But that is talked about so much now, you know, in the mind and the control of the mind because it is our worst enemy. And it creates so many things. And something Olivia always tells me, like, I'll be future tripping and, like, freaking out or thinking of things like, oh, this is going to happen. And she's like, why are you not winning in your own fantasy? Yeah. It's like the past is a memory. The future is a fantasy. if you're going to have a fantasy, you might as well win in it.

That is really, I've never heard that before. That's really interesting. Yeah. That's a good idea. Isn't it? It's a really good idea. It's a really good idea. Yeah.

And she says it to me often. I know. Because I always do, I do the same thing. Like I handle my anxiety by like managing expectations and then managing like, well, okay, so if this does happen, this awful thing, how will I react to it? You know, and that's how I keep. myself from overreacting or making the wrong choice in the moment. But I guess I should also be spending a little bit of that time thinking about what I will do if it all goes incredibly well.

Yeah, because I think that scientifically or statistically 90% of the things that we think about never actually happen. Right. And so if we are thinking about something that's outside of this moment, the only thing we have control over is how we frame it, right? So it could go a million ways wrong or it could also go a million ways right. But I think that it's what, 10 positive thoughts to counteract one negative. So it takes a lot more. I don't know that I have that many positive thoughts. It takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of effort, right? It's so much easier to just A lot of lifting. Yeah.

She has all of these things and I'm like, she's constantly reminding me of because I need them all. You know, and I do. But it's progress. And as you get older, you know, I love being in my 40s, like just feeling like, you know, more secure and using these practices more and being aware. And like when you are thinking these things in your mind and then just being like, oh, before I would have thought of this this way. And I'd be like, oh, doomsday. Absolutely. like this is what's going to happen and I'm like wait what are you doing or more importantly

what's happening right now like let's say there's a person you're involved with and whatever's happening with them for the first time being like oh this has nothing to do with me this is all them yeah and what they're going through yeah which is another huge thing that I think I've really gotten with age is being able to be like this is not my problem right this existed before me this will exist after me this is not my problem right that's huge because they're think when I was younger, everything was my problem. Right. Yeah, of course.

We all take that on. And another interesting thing is, you know, when you were saying before, like you grew up with an abusive, you know, childhood and then all these patterns that repeat themselves. So when you make these choices, and I see it so often and you're like, why does that happen? You know? And I'm sure there's theories on it. But it's true. And you look at how many people choose a partner that reflects what they went through in their childhood. Because 90% of your life is lived by your subconscious and your subconscious is formed from the time you're zero to seven.

You're under a state of hypnosis. So whatever you experience during that time, 90% of your life is lived by that. Yeah. Only 10% uses your conscious brain to live your life. So we're just hypnotized to do what we saw. Right. Yeah. And what feels familiar.

What feels familiar, right? familiar feelings can be confused for other feelings. Absolutely. Yeah. And I also read too that it's just part of the subconscious desire to resolve or correct or change what happened to the past. Yeah. Which is impossible in some situations. Sure.

Like epigenetics and all that too. Like some of that stuff they've proven is passed down through your actual DNA. Yeah. I believe a lot of that stuff. this. Right? Yes. Because if mom went through trauma and she had you and she's forming you, I mean, I would imagine that's in you, right? Yeah. I mean, they said, I used to read a lot about cellular memory. Yeah. They talk about that a lot. That even your DNA will be the experiences of your parents and ancestors and all those kinds of things. Oof. I'm screwed. It's really interesting.

I know we're all fucked. Yeah, we're all fucked, right? We're all fucked. I do have a question about what are your thoughts on forgiveness? You know, I am a person who forgives very easily. I guess I forgive him without actually understanding everything. And I don't know that forgiveness is great until you actually understand everything and you know what you're forgiving, you know? Right. That makes sense.

Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense. Like one is just another form of denial. Right. Right. Right. Okay, just a couple quick last questions. What would you title your own autobiography? I don't know.

It can be called, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I've always identified as a cat full of spiders. Oh. And that is the name of my production company. So I probably can't use it for my memoir. But that's very much how I've always felt like a cat that has eaten way too many spiders. And they're still alive inside of her causing her a lot of anxiety.

Okay, if you had to pick one song every time you walked into a room, what would it be? Um, I don't know. Um, I, y-y-ye. I know. Some of these are hard to just pull out there. My mind is so blank and all I can think of is the Jaws soundtrack, the Jaws song. That is awesome. I'm just picturing you walking into any room and it's like, Don't know. Don't know. Don't know. What would be your ideal death row last meal?

It would be, I don't know if you guys remember the gaucho grill. Of course. Okay, do you remember the warm rice salad? Yes. With the pink dressing. Okay, so that was my favorite thing to eat in L.A. For years and years. And then they all closed.

And then every time I've been pregnant, it's the only thing I crave is that salad. And you can't even find a recipe online that's like, make the Gautroo Grill? No. Oh, no. It's really sad. So, yes, that would be my death row mail if someone could actually procure it. I feel like I need to find it for you now. We got to manifest.

I know. I worked at Groucho Grill for like a week. Oh, really? I did. Oh, my God. I loved it. I loved it. I didn't realize he wasn't around anymore.

No, it's gone. Completely gone. That's so depressing. Okay. Last one. If you had to live in one movie that you were in. which would it be? That's a fun question.

Which one would it be? I want to pick one where I'm like really rich. I did this movie, Penelope and the whole world that was created by the director and the production designer was really beautiful and lush and fun and magical and safe feeling. So yeah, probably that one. I love that. Thank you for being so open and talking with us today. It was so nice to... Yeah, it was so nice to see you.

Thank you guys. So nice talking to you. Have a good rest of your day. You too. Bye. Broad Ideas is supported by OptaGreens 50 from First Form. OptaGreens 50 is a precisely formulated green superfood powder meant for overall immune system support and digestive health.

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slash ideas. Let me ask you something. I know Olivia's answer to this, though. Briar and I are on a 6.30 a.m. flight tomorrow. Okay? Olivia is a huge fan of red eyes with kids. Yep. Where do you fall as far as when you're traveling with kids, Robert?

Um, I would take Calvin on a red eye right now. I'm taking a red eye tomorrow night to Chicago. I would take Calvin, but I don't think I would risk it with Vincent. It would throw off his sleep schedule too much. And I'm depending on being able to sleep on the red eye. If you go at 6.30 in the morning, he's going to be awake for four hours and then have to sleep and then be awake. He's up at 6.30. That's what I mean.

So then you have to be on a plane with him while he's awake. It's very hard. It's harder if he's supposed to be. sleeping and then he's not and then he's a terror because he's not sleeping. Yeah, it's all bad. Yeah. And I'm taking a two-day trip. So if I was bringing him with, it would take him the full two days to get back to normal. Okay. That answers my question. But I think Calvin I'd be fine expecting him to be able to sleep and chill on a red-eye flight. We always do red-eye. You do. Yeah. Briar. I have to wake her up at 4 o'clock in the morning tomorrow.

That sounds almost as awful as taking a 11 p.m. flight. Well, here's the thing. We land, and then you have to drive an hour and a half, and it's three hours later there where we're going. So, you know, if we take a later flight, we lose the whole day. Yeah, and so you take the red eye the night before. That's right. Oh, yeah.

And then you hang out at like 6 a.m. I don't think that was an option. I'm just going to go with that. Okay, thank you. Because she didn't look at it. I don't do it. I don't look at the red eye. Next time you take the red eye.

the night before and then you have the whole day. But then that's five hours, if that. It's like four hours asleep, right, on a red eye for the kid. Tonight she'll get, you know, I can't do the math that fast, but she'll get eight hours versus four hours. This is my first red eye. What? In life?

Yeah. This year. What? What? Do you even mean? You've never taken a red eye before. Never taken a red eye. Not that I recall.

Sometimes Rob really shocks me. I'm shocked. Yeah. Like what? I don't fly a ton, though. I don't like flying. I prefer not to fly. Yeah, but you're from Chicago.

You've definitely gone back and forth quite a bit. Mind-blowing. Uh, no. I've gone back like five times since being out or six times since living out here. Unbelievable. Okay. Maybe less. Hmm.

What don't you like about flying? Do you get scared? Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable I'm also not like This trip might suck because I don't know if I'm gonna get any sleep on the way out there And then it's gonna just ruin my first day there And then I have one more day there and then I fly back You can do it I have faith in you

I have a question wrong Very important So when you get to the airport Do you eat no matter what Do you eat something? Do you get something to bring on the plane? Yes, I always get a water. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

And sometimes I'll get some like peanuts or pretzels. Okay. That's your go-to? It's my go-to. Okay. My comfort. Lou, what are your go-to? I need to know really quickly.

Peanut Eminems. Mm-hmm. I will often be real crazy and get a bag of Doritos or something that's... Yeah, of course. You need salty, crunchy, and then the peanut Eminemes. I'll do pretzels, but I like a cool ranch or nacho Dorito. Okay. Or sour cream and onion pringles and peanut lemonms.

Oh, okay. I'm a bold and zesty checks mix. I love a bold and zesty. I'll do a checks mix occasionally too. Me too. Yeah. So why I ask this, so you get your little snack, you have your little thing. If you're on a flight that serves a meal and you're not hungry, do you get it anyways?

Always. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad to know because that happened to me. And then just pick at it for 30 minutes and then put your napkin over it and pretend like you ate all of it and ask them to take it away. Okay, great. So I'm not the only weirdo. No.

I mean, I think they've thrown out anyways, probably. We're all weirdos. Olivia, did you talk about your, oh yeah, we talked about you going to the Dom client party? No, not her actually being there. Oh, and she went. Okay, you went as a Dom, right? Yeah, but it wasn't really like a Dom client party. It wasn't like a sex party.

It was just a theme. Yeah, did you watch anyone have sex? No. No. No one. Not a single person. Someone asked me, they were like, did Olivia go to Vegas?

Oh, who asked that? Someone wrote me, oh, I love a good theme party. And I wrote back, who says this is a theme party. That's good. What are you talking about? This is a Friday night.

That's good. I was surprised, to be honest, that not as many people went as hard as I thought they would on the theme. Mm-hmm. It was quite disappointing. Some of them did. I believe it. I loved Krista.

Krista Miller was there, Charlotte's mom. Oh, did she dress up? Yeah, but hers was dope because she did it like a, Dude, she wore like a suit and with like tattoos on her neck and like it was sexy. Love it. Yeah. Love it. It was the opposite.

It wasn't the little, you know. She recently sent me a screenshot to watch that. I think it's a documentary on that Natalia Grace or whatever. Oh, good Lord. Did you watch it? Not yet, but I went on such a deep TikTok dive. Should I upload that to watch on the plane? I'm trying to figure out what to watch on the plane.

Is that what I do? I mean, do you know what this is, Rob? No. You want to explain it? You probably can explain it better than I can. I feel like you need to just watch some like little clips on it to really get the understanding. I think you should finish in Bruges finally. I am, I did my time.

No, you didn't. You watched like 15 minutes of it. No, and I fast forwarded to the end. Someone was showing me the end. Was it you? No, my friend was. Whatever. Anyways, I've done my own bruges.

Wait, that doesn't count. Just so you're aware. I did my time. My ear itches really bad. Natalia Grace, she's like if this woman was posing as a six-year-old girl, but she was like in her 30s or something, right? Something like that. Yeah, well, she's got some sort of...

Like... Benjamin Button. Some sort of something going on. And the family adopted her. And then, like, during bath time, they noticed some things that were like, hmm, a six-year-old shouldn't have a blush or... What? What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? Wait, that's what I need to upload, right? And then I think she got a little crazy and was, like, threatening to kill. That's what you want to watch on a plane? That's the kind of... I don't know. Well, tell me. I have very specific, I have very specific type movies that I'm willing to watch on a plane, too. Daisy Jones and the Six. Oh, yeah. I think I have that uploaded. I think I have that downloaded. You should watch that. I also like reality on the plane.

I have some more news. Let's hear it. You know, Cracker Barrel is one of my favorite stores, restaurants, and stores, the general store. Mm-hmm. So Cracker Barrel now supports inclusion, diversity, the ranch dressing, you know, all communities. Are you becoming the spokesperson for Cracker Barrel? They have Rainbow Rocking Chairs. Maybe that's not true.

We do they? I feel like they might. Anyway, I don't know if someone was joking about that. or not. But I do know that they have fully shown their support. And like there was like this thing going around on Twitter and stuff that's like Cracker Barrel has fallen. Like all the, you know, like people who maybe disagreed with that. Yeah. But Cracker Barrel and I was like, okay, you know. Yeah, you feel good about it. You do because like there's always that controversy when you're like, I like Chick-fil-A, but you're like can't like Chick-fil-A, you know? Yeah. And like, but Cracker Barrel, you don't know really where that's going to fall because

it's Cracker Barrel and like they supported it and I was like I will wear my Cracker Barrel hat with Pride you know what I mean with pride literally literally anyway just wanted to share that because that was important to me yeah it's a big deal I think it's great it's a big deal don't look at me Rob like you couldn't get lost in that general store okay I've said I like that general store and Olivia likes the pancakes I like the pancakes a lot mm-hmm I do guys we're going to Rialto We're taking a road trip to our closest cracker barrel. I'm hungry. I'm hungry, too.

What's for dinner tonight, guys? I just ate lunch, so. What did you have for lunch, Rob? I had, um, I had coop. Summer rolls. Oh. Okay, that's like a, it's like a rice spring roll. Yeah.

Oh, I have a niece. Yay, Everly. My little Everly Ray was born on Monday. So cool. She went home today. She did. She did. Is she nursing?

She is, but they supplemented with some formula last night, too. That happens. They're just coming up with a plan, a feeding plan. Yep. You know, it's all a journey. It's all a journey. But she's home. I was outside of the gates when they arrived because Briar tied balloons

and left a pastry box and stuff, so it was really cute. That's really cute. Yeah. Congratulations. First time, Auntie. I guess I'm sorry. I feel like I am an auntie because like your kids, you know, all my best friend's kids, but this is like a legit one.

Mm-hmm. And her middle name is after me. Mm-hmm. Summer? Shut up, Rob. O.C. We're really O-C. It's Cohen.

It's really weird. You know what I find weird? What? Synchronicity. Fucking insane. Right? Absolutely. I've been having.

so much lately that I'm like, what is going on? Yeah. Do you think there's phases of it? Or do you think that it's when you're paying more attention or what? What are your thoughts on that? It's a good question. Like if you're more hyper aware. Bader Meintov, frequency illusion?

Excuse me? Explain. It's what you just said. Frequency illusion. If you're looking for it, you're going to see more of something. Yes. And I do think there's truth to that. But recently for me, I feel like even when I'm not,

looking for it. There's just been so much that it's weird. Wouldn't you agree, Olivia? Yeah. Do you like thinking of it in a more spiritual way or more of like a simulation theory? Because that's one way to look at it is that we're within a simulation and they're running versions of how things can play out. No, no, no. Not my vibe. Not my vibe. Nope. Nope. Not at all. I think the universe is always speaking to us. I think we have different moments of being open to it and different moments of being closed to it and that sometimes it's stronger than others given our awakenness to it. That's what I think.

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. But like I said, recently, things have been so crazy that... Like what? I wrote that, like, I had a thing with our friend Leah and Charlotte. like I wrote this thing that was about something very personal and I had named it Ophelia and then our friend was like literally went through the same exact thing and they named it Ophelia. Like there was just like these weird. And an Illumaneer song came on.

That is a Lumineer's song. But no. And it was just like the craziest coincidence. And then like a friend recently like a few days after all this was happening, the first thing I woke up to was a song Ophelia. It wasn't the Lumineers. It was probably a cover by someone else. I can't think of it.

of who it was. But the first thing I saw on my phone, it said Ophelia, because they had sent me a song. And they didn't know any of these coincidences were going on. They didn't know a thing. Yeah.

Total random. So that, like, that's fucking crazy. That's weird, you know? It's dead on. Dead on. Remember how I was asking you guys what you think about alternate realities and all of that kind of stuff?

Yeah. And I became obsessed with this Dolores Canon woman. Mm-hmm. And I didn't send anyone the video. Not a single person except for Lucy. I sent Lucy the video, like a little TikTok video. And I was like, this is interesting. And then the next day, she posted a picture of a book by Dolores Cannon.

And I was like, oh, did you get that book because of the video I sent you? And she's like, no, I had already packed it to read. And I was like, that's weird. Weird. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Yeah, see? Synchronicity.

You guys are. Weird? Yeah, you guys are weird in the same like... World of weirdness. Yeah, I know. But I'd never heard of this woman. I'd never gone down any of her stuff like ever. And then the moment...

Yeah, but you're also noticing she's standing out more than if she's just posting a random book because you've just discovered this woman. And that's the frequency illusion. But that's what I'm saying. So I'm saying if you're awake to it, the universe is always saying Yes, yes, yes, this is linked, this is linked, this is connected, like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

What do you think, Rob? You think it's a simulation? Of course he does. No. That's so not sexy. I don't want it to be a simulation. That would suck. I don't think it is.

No. Mm-mm. Yeah, I will report all the synchroniscities as they come because there's been so much. I think we should just take note. Keep a tell. You should keep a little notebook in your pocket. I used to do that, a synchronicity journal. Really?

Yeah, I have a notes page on my thing with synchronicities. Because the more you focus on, the more it grows, right? So if you start noting it, you're going to start seeing more of it. So it's actually really fun. That would be really cool for the three of us to do, is have a little synchronicity note page. And then we can share them and see even the tiniest thing. Like, you know, Rob, when you get to the airport, if it says, like, synchronicity.

Which is, my synchronicity is the actual word synchronicity. Correct. Correct. It's going to take something that obvious. Yes. I have a friend that his was the number 238. Oh, okay. You would see that number everywhere.

Oh, see, now I'm thinking of all the ones that have been happening. I don't know if I wrote them down. I think I wrote them to you, Olivia, so I'll go back and look for them and make a notebook. Is there a version of this where, I mean, that's all what manifesting is, right? to a degree is like I'm going to pick the things that I want to start seeing Yeah, you're going to buy a yellow van You're going to start seeing a lot of yellow vans

Uh-huh Yeah, or like this number 308 That's your number, Rachel. See how often you see it. That's not my number. But it is true, like, yeah, You'll literally like somebody like, I had this car in high school,

like it's the most random car you've ever thought Like Olivia said like a yellow van And the next day, a yellow van's driving next to you. That kind of shit. All right. So Olivia's got a yellow van. Rachel's got the number 308. Thanks, Rob.

Appreciate it. And you've got Rubin's sandwiches. No, I have the word synchronicity. Oh, yeah. Synchronicity. He has the literal word synchronicity. Yeah, but just in general, let's do it for a week. Every time we week.

Yeah, those are our three things. Send a photo every time. No, I don't want 308. 308. I'm sorry, Rachel. It's anything, Rob. anything that's a synchronicity where you're like, I really need to be grounded.

And then you hear on the TV go, you know what, if you're grounded. Yeah. You're grounded. Like whatever the synchronicity is, just notice. Pay attention, Rob. Olivia and I are always paying attention.

Like this stuff happens all the fucking time. You need to pay attention. Right, Lou? Yeah. Okay. All right, guys. That is our project for the week. I'm excited to report back.

I can't wait for your. flight tomorrow to be 308. Could you imagine that's going to be rad? No, because he just gave that to me. This is forced. I'm going to have it. It doesn't matter. It's just an exercise.

Yeah, and we're doing an exercise. I already have a ton to write down. 308 better be that first page. All right. All right, people. 308. I should have done 80,000. No, 308.

308. I don't want 308. No, because it was the calculator where it said boobs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone, everyone out there should do 308. Write us your synchronicities. Yeah, everyone's doing 308, especially Rachel. 308, a yellow van, and the word synchronicity.

Just tag Rachel. Post a picture and tag Rachel anytime you see any of those things. That's all she wrote. Or broad ideas. At Rachel Bilsen. Or Wabiwop. No. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like how mad you're kidding about your assignment. I know, I don't want that number. 308. Well, the more, that would you resist, persist. It's going to be everywhere now. Everywhere.

I'm going to be like, God damn it. I can't wait. A taxi that's going to pick you up from the airport. It's going to be number 308. It's going to be a yellow van is what it's going to be. $30. $80. It's going to be the Synchronic City Cab Company.

number 308 in a yellow van. Fucking yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm into it, guys. All right, guys, I can't wait for our reports. Please return next week for your regular scheduled programming. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That was a hate gum podcast.