Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Ciara Bravo

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

Ciara Bravo [Big Time Rush, A Teacher, Cherry] brings wisdom, perspective and awareness to this week’s conversation! The three broads talk about the stigma that comes along with being a child actor, the importance, and struggle, of trusting your intuition, and the correlation between mental health and moving your body. Ciara shares her experience as a full-time child actor and how she transitioned into her dream role in film, Cherry. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

You have a beautiful voice. I don't. I appreciate that. That's very kind of you. You have a beautiful voice. But you know who has the most beautiful voice? Rob. Oh, thanks, guys.

So today we're lucky enough to have with us in our broad box. Sierra, Bravo. Beautiful young actress. Very achieved for her age. And Rob ran into her at his favorite coffee slash Macha spot, Maru.

Yep. Where he runs into most of our guests and gets them to come on. It's mostly where we book the show. Yep. And Sierra was gracious enough to say yes to come talk to us. You know her from Cherry. Yes, Cherry with Tom Holland, which was a departure for her. Super cool.

Can't wait to talk to her about that. And Wayne. And Wayne. Also. And Big Time Rush. Let's welcome Sierra. Sometimes when inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling

round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys. Because people die. So you're only 25 and you've had so much success already.

I mean, it's so cool. Was Nicolode in your first job? My first job was a Newport Aquarium commercial. And Newport is like back in Kentucky where I'm from. Okay. And I was the frog bog princess. Oh my gosh. It was like I was in fifth grade.

I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever done. Like I got to see the frog bog before it opened. Oh my God. And like that I was like backstage act. Like I got to hold a bullfrog and kiss it on the lips, which for me, like, all I was interested in during that time in my life was like riding horses and... Oh, cool. Yeah, going to rodeo camp and things of that nature. So to be able to get behind the scenes access to all of these animals I've never seen before was the dream come true.

And then from there, I don't know. I kind of, like, I didn't fall into it. I very much was like putting in the work and putting in the effort and coming out to Los Angeles. Angeles with my mom for a few weeks out of the year and auditioning and coming out here for pilot season. Like, there's effort put into it. And then I think four years later, I booked the TV show on Nickelodeon. Wow.

Yeah. So then did your whole family move out here? Just me and my mom. Okay. So we were out here while I was working. And then any time I had off, I was always back home. And my big, again, my big priority at the time was summer camp and being back home and not missing that. So, like, every summer, my mom was very adamant that I make it home for that.

And I'm really grateful. Like, she put in a lot of work and a lot of effort to make sure that I still had some idea of a childhood and was, you know, living life outside of the industry because it can feel like, I don't know, a bit of an echo chamber at times where everyone's just, did you want to act? I did. I did. It was always my choice. And she was very clear to me that the second I stopped enjoying it, I didn't have to do it anymore. Yeah. And we could go home and just forget about all of this. I love that. Yeah.

Were you leaving other family members behind? Yeah. So I have an older sister, a younger brother, and my dad, who were all back home. And so sometimes my grandparents would switch with my mom and they would take care of me while she went back home to be with my brother and my sister. It was a very delicate balance. And I don't envy her or my dad because I know that they both sacrificed a lot to, you know, let me come out here and pursue what I'm sure felt like.

like such a far-fetched dream at the time. I can't imagine. I can't imagine that. Yeah. I feel, I don't know. I feel, I don't know there's a lot of privilege and the way that I grew up and the fact that we were able to to live life the way that we did. And I'm very grateful for sure. Yeah, but I think the whole priority that your mom made with your summer camp and everything. I mean, I really admire that, you know, because I grew up out here and I had family in the business. But my parents were always like, when you're 18, if you want to do it, you know, you could but do school and do, you know, or whatever, just wanted to make that a priority. And it sounds like, you know, childhood was important to your family.

And I think that's amazing. And how old were you when you booked the Nickelodeon show? I was 12. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, so I was very young. Wow. That's a weird age. Yeah, 12 is a very weird age.

I feel like it's right when you're sort of starting to come into, I don't know, I feel like that's when I started to develop some sort of sense of self-awareness. Right. You're not a kid anymore at 12. You're like on the time. And your mind, you're not. Exactly. It's like, no, I, I like, you know, you start to develop feelings for other people. And it's such a weird yucky time. You're like, my body is changing. What's happening to me. Right. Then I'm on this show where I'm playing a little bit younger. So I still feel like a kid. But then also in my brain, I'm like, no, I have a full time job. And like you're living this adult life. So it's this very peculiar. contrast. And it's like, how do you find, I don't know, a sort of sense of clarity in all of that? Right. So did you feel like you grew up faster because of that in a way? In some ways. I also feel like I was maybe a little bit stunted in some ways, maybe socially because I was on a show with a bunch of older people. There weren't a lot of kids my age. I was like by myself a lot of the times. I was in a new state where I didn't like, I didn't have much of a foundation here.

I had one friend that I went to school with back home that moved out at the same time. Oh, wow. Which was just very... For acting or just... Her family was out here for different reasons. It was just a very peculiar, very lucky turn of events. Yeah. She was my rock growing up, my, like, connection to home and childhoods.

That's really nice. Yeah. But it's tricky. It's a weird thing. I don't know. What was it like growing up out here for you guys? Did you like it? You know, for me, you know, having family in the show business world, like I grew up around all of it.

in the sense of like my dad, like, created shows and things. So, you know, everyone was behind the scenes. No one was acting. But I definitely grew up going to set and, like, all I cared about was craft service and going into the hair and makeup trailer. And they would like, my friends and I, in sixth grade, so the same age you were when you got your Nickelodeon show. Every Friday night, we would go to set and get our hair and makeup done in the trailer

and hang out. We thought it was the coolest thing and fun. Yeah. But it also made it something like going into it. getting older and doing it, it was something that I, you know, knew growing up. So it didn't feel as foreign, which I think wasn't advantage because I understood how everything worked and everyone was there working and a job

and how to be professional and like all of those things. So I was grateful for that. But growing up here, there's definitely the other side of it, like kid actors or, and I definitely wasn't that, that you grow up with. And a lot of the schools in L.A. and stuff, it's just, it's a little, odd. But yeah, I don't know. It was never on my radar to be, but I don't know, I don't know if it just speaks to being around it and it was like, I don't know. Yeah, probably, I imagine growing up around it some of the magic is not lost, but yeah, diluted. That's the perfect way to put it,

where it's just, you know, this is everyday life for you. You've been on sets that sort of mystique, the magical, you know, mystical elements dissolve and you see the reality of it all. And it's like, oh, yeah, no, that's just a job. What did your siblings think? of you being on a show? You know, I never, I don't, I don't know. I don't know what the honest answer to that is. They always treated me the same way. Like there was never, there wasn't really any shift in our family dynamic,

which I was always very grateful for. And I feel like that is a rare circumstance, at least that I was aware of directly. I don't know if it was like hidden from me or if my parents were just very good at handling these things. But I think they were always. I don't know, they never really were like, oh, that's so cool. Or like, that's the lamest thing I've ever seen my life.

It just kind of was. My sister's in the industry, too, though. She's always had a great love for it, the other side of it, similarly to your family. She's never wanted to be an actor, thank God. Why do you say thank God? Because I feel like that, I've seen circumstances where siblings are both actors, and then there's this weird competition or this underlying resentment if one's working. the other isn't.

Sure. Also, she just has such a great understanding of how the business works. So she's a really good resource for me. Like, when I had a movie coming out in 2020 and I needed to find a publicist, she's in the PR world and she was like, okay, this is what this person, she's a studio publicist or she was. And she's like, this is what this person is actually like to work with. This is what I've heard about this person.

Like, I spoke to some colleagues about this company. And so I got kind of this insider info. That helped me make a more well-rounded decision. Is she older or younger? Older. She's four years older. And then my brother is like 18 months younger. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Very close. Very close. Okay. And then the movie, was that the movie that you did? It was cherry. Okay, it was cherry. So yeah, it was with the Russo brothers and Tom Holland and that whole crew.

So what was that like, that was like a big jump, right, from being known for your Nickelodeon shows and then you land something like that? Yeah, it was wild. What was that process like? It definitely felt like a next step on the ladder in a lot of ways where it was just like a different caliber of work. Like, I've been consistently working since I started. I feel very lucky about that. So there was a lot in between Nickelodeon and Cherry, some of like my favorite projects I've ever done. Tell us.

I want to know. Yeah. Like my favorite thing, obviously, like I have a lot of love for everything that I've been on. Like being an actor, you leave a little piece of. of yourself with every project and, you know, every cast and every group of people, just because you have to. That's just the nature of the job. But Wayne has a very special place in my heart. It's a show that's created by Sean Simmons. It's me and Mark McKenna are in it. It's like two kids from Brockton, Massachusetts that go on this road trip from Brockton to Ocala, Florida to get back

his dad's 1978 Trans Am. And it's just, it's their journey. along the way and it's just really, really heartfelt and really honest, but it has this, like, quality where sometimes it gets a little bit lifted off the ground and feels a little bit like a comic book in some ways. And it's just really special. Yeah. But so that's one that, like, if I had to relive one summer of my life, I would go back and film that show again. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah. But then Terry came along and I got the call and my agent told me that I had booked it and I was like, I really truly think you have the wrong number. And he was like, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. And I was like, okay, double check.

I was like, this is Sierra. You know who you're calling. He's a guest. I know who I'm speaking to. You have booked this job. On the same call, I also heard that this director who I adore, Hannah Fidel, also was like, hey, we've got a small part for you in a teacher, which is a Hulu show. Very good.

She's beyond talented. She's like, we love to have you in it. It was like the dream call. Surreal. Yeah, it was this surreal moment. And then I got off the phone. And I immediately called my therapist at the time. I was like, hey, are you free?

Turns out I'm super afraid of dying now because I'm so excited. I was like going out, like walking down the street and I was like, oh my God, I'm going to get hit by a car. Like something tragic is about to happen because this feels like, it felt like the call that every actor waits for. And then it turns out it was just like, you know, it's still real life. And that's not, you know, I don't know, things happen. And it was a very cool moment. So in a lot of ways, yeah, it felt like the next step on the ladder. But now that I'm on the other side of it and I'm still here, I'm like, oh, yeah, this industry very much so is a, it feels like a circle, like a cycle.

And it's like you're working and it's really, really, really good. And then you have some time off and then you have a little bit more time off. And then you're like, oh my God, I'm never going to work again. Ever in your life. And then you get a job and it's great again. And then, you know. Yeah. So that's a good way to put it for sure.

And is that why you had a therapist? Yeah, because I've been doing this since I was 12. Yeah. Because I'm so anxious every day of my life. Yeah. Well, you said your reaction. Like, right when you got that call, you're like, oh, well, something bad's going to happen. Yeah.

I think that's just my natural way of thinking. It's like, oh, when life gets too good, you know. The other shoes are going to drop. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It's like any relationship or whatever. You're like, wait, this is too good to be true.

And a lot of the times it is. But you just got to find the reality in the situation. Yeah. Yeah. you're so young to, you know, have those thoughts. And I love how you're open like I call my therapist because I think it's huge. It's huge. And it's honestly one of the greatest tools you can have is to have someone and really. Absolutely yes. You know. Absolutely yes. For me, I have a very anxious brain. So sometimes I just need that third party to help me clear out like the reality from, you know,

my anxious thoughts and what I've kind of created in my brain. Yes. Yes. Our brain creates many things. What I want to know is who doesn't have an anxious brain? Yeah, the more I speak to people, the more I'm like, oh, this is all of us. Right. This is just not talking about it before. I believe that's it because I'm like, why didn't anyone warn us that you're going to have this brain that lies to you all day long? Right. And it's your job to kind of decode it and find the truth.

Right. And it's all fear. It's all fear. It is all fear. And it's all ego and it's all fake and it's all, you know. illusion and then we get to kind of come in there and dissect it. And oftentimes we need help doing that. But I feel like nowadays, people like yourself, it's so important to be like, yeah, I need help. Or yeah, my brain is anxious. Like, how did you get comfortable with that?

I think just growing up out here. I feel like the culture, like everyone's far more open about it. Like having a therapist is like having a dentist or like a general, like a GP. You're like, oh yeah, I'm going to get my physical. It's like, oh, no, yeah, I'm going for my, you know, weekly, bi-weekly sometimes appointment. I just, I don't know. I feel like people are far more honest and casual about it out here, which I really appreciate. I don't know. Growing up back home, I don't know if that would have been the same. I think people were, there was a little bit more of a stigma around mental health or mental health struggles. Yeah. And it's always this idea of like, oh, you have to get back to normal, whatever, you know, their idea of normal is at the

time. But I don't think that's, I don't think that's what it's about. I don't think it's necessarily about like getting quote unquote better or like reaching normal, but instead just learning how to cope with what's happening right now and feeling what you're feeling, but not letting it, like, figure out ways to like not let it consume you fully, which is I think a hundred times harder. It's so difficult. You're, oh yeah. I mean, you're astonishing for your age. Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. your whole awareness and wisdom. Yeah. I've had a lot of time to think.

All that time in the trailer, sit and waiting to be cold. Yeah, but that's the thing. So people, you know, there is also not only a stigma with mental health, but there's a stigma with child actors and what that means and what goes into it. And what are your thoughts on that? I've always been so embarrassed to call myself an actor. Because of that stigma, I feel like people just have this idea of who actors are, or how they behave or especially child actors,

like what their fate is going to be. I feel like a lot of us predetermined like, oh, you're going to be crazy one day. Or you're going to have your, I don't know. Have you read Jeanette McCurdy's new book? No, I'm so curious about it. Did you read it? I listened to it because I think that's a story

that is definitely benefits from hearing it in the author's voice. And she is just beyond incredible. But I thought that her perspective on the child actor thing was so interesting. and there's, I don't know. She's... What did she say? Brilliantly talented.

It's called I'm glad my mom is dead. I know. So it obviously, it's so much more. It's so much more than just her experience with acting. Like a very small portion of the book, she speaks about, and this is obviously paraphrasing, I'm going to butcher it.

So, like, absolutely go out and, like, read it or listen to it yourselves. But she speaks about how, like, that portion of her life being, like, young teenager, like on view for the world to see. And not only that, but like that version of herself is immortalized. It's like it will always be there and everyone gets to see like every small misstep that you make. Like you're being scrutinized from such a young age. And how unfair that is. And like having people come up to you now at for me 25 years old for her, I think she's 30, I think. And, you know, knowing the 13 year old version of yourself and still viewing.

you as that 13-year-old and being like, oh, not you. That's, oh, you're that person from that thing. And it's like, yeah, yes, but also. And I think growing up with that, you know, I was always embarrassed to call myself an actor because people have a very specific idea of like what an actor is. And especially out here in Los Angeles, I feel like people kind of turn their nose up at actors a lot of times. Like, it's like, it's only cool if you're a writer or director. Yeah. And so I'd, you know, go to these parties and I'm just obviously such an actor. He would walk in and they'd be like, oh, geez, okay. Yeah, I always had this fear. Like, I was always afraid that, you know, people were viewing me as this 13-year-old version of myself.

And that's why, like, always felt really nervous going out and, like, meeting new people as well. Because I'm like, you have this idea of who I am. And I don't know if that's the truth. And, like, oh, God, like, what if you disappoint people or, like, what if, you know, whatever. There's so much that that's. that play. And I think that it's feelings that most 12-year-olds go through, right? This idea of like, who am I? Yeah. Who am I? And I want to be you and I want to be that and I want to be this and oh, God, I'm, I'm this and you're trying to figure all of that out. And then you've got all of these people treating you in a really peculiar way. And I think I kind of started to resent that when

I was a teenager and I wanted to move away from that. And I don't know, establish myself as like a more serious actor, which is so ridiculous. As I've gotten older, my views on all of this have changed. Because in looking back, thinking about my life as a young working actress and the amount of skill that that takes and the amount of work that you have to put into that and like balancing school and balancing a full-time job and also figuring out who you are as a person. Trying to stay saying during all of that, oh my God, are you kidding me? Like, what a feat. What, like, absolutely something to be celebrated. So I'm very proud of what I've been able to accomplish. Also, I have a lot of respect for anyone else going through the same thing. And then

trying to transition into more adult work is so impossible because you've got these adult people, these casting directors who are like, prove to me what you're capable of. Like, what else you're going into these rooms and you're like, I can do this and I can do this. I swear, just give me a chance and they're judging you on your resume. And you're like, oh, my God. I promise, I promise I'm capable of more. But I think that people don't have a. enough respect for, I don't know, like that style of acting or like soap acting or like any acting. They want to pin you to whatever it is they know you from.

Right. Because it's easier. It is easier. If you stay in that box for them and it makes sense in their brain. And once you try and get out of it, they're like, wait, I don't understand. Right. Right. And I get it.

I completely understand that thought process. Like I find myself guilty of that all the time. You see someone's like cast in something. you're like, oh, is that my choice? Right. Right. And then you see it and you're like, oh, God, no. Like, I have just done.

I did it. Exactly. We're all guilty of it. But you did do it. You did break out of it with Cherry. So you actually got an opportunity, again, that a lot of people would kill for. Yeah. You know, and you got to play a real part and dig your teeth into something.

Was that something that you had really wanted to do? Not just from the standpoint of like, how can I shift my image and, become more adult, but in actually what you wanted to express in the world? Yeah, I think that, like, that role is a dream for an actor because you're playing so many different versions of the same character, which is a very rare opportunity, like, unless you're on a TV show that goes for 20 seasons and you get to, like, see, I don't know, this character grow and change and shift over the years, it's just not, and that doesn't exist these days. Like, that's just not something that happens.

Right. So it definitely felt like I struck gold in a lot of ways. And this was also a part that a lot of people were going for. So that felt very cool at the same time. And then I was like, wait, why me? And then I was really overwhelmed. But it was a blast and it was a dream. And I'm very glad that I got to do it. How'd you study for it? I that script looked like it had been to war by the end of it like I I read it probably a million times and was like scratching on the pages and I read the book which was definitely not similar to the script um I always described it as the book was one step away from real life and the movie was a step away from the book so I used it as a resource but then I was like okay I can't like this is going to get too muddled if I keep focusing on that version of the character so I need to like just stick with that. the script. And then most of it felt kind of within reach because a lot of it was just about being a young person in the world and falling in love for the first time and being in what was frankly like a toxic relationship, which I think most of us have been in to some extent. Yeah. But it was the addiction aspect that I was very lucky that I had never dealt with that in my life. And so I went to a facility in Cleveland. And they let me speak to some people in their program who wanted to share their stories and were willing to talk and they just sat down and they

schooled me. This is what it's like. Here's the, you know, the nasty, ugly truth to the situation. And then they were very, very kind in telling me about like the tiny, tiny small intimate details. Like, I don't know, the thoughts that you have about yourself and how that shifts and changes through your addiction and recovery and your thoughts and feelings. feelings on your partner in the different stages of your addiction and the things that you do to your body and I don't know, even like the clothing that you would wear or the weight changes or the way your hair changes or I don't know. It's just these small things that I don't think a lot of people know about unless you've gone through it yourself. So I'm very grateful for that.

That's for sure. I don't know. To be that that vulnerable, I don't know. I came out of there and I was like, what am I doing with my life? Why am I an actor? I need to get into something helpful. I need to go For rehab, just for life. No, that's a lot. You know, and that's a lot of roles that you maybe haven't experienced personally to have the means to really study it and get to know it. I think is unique, you know, because I think a lot of people wonder what different things are like that people experience in life. And we have a unique job of getting to take that on. Yes, I think that's the coolest part of this job.

Yeah, for sure, for sure. And I know, you know, sometimes there's roles. that you just don't agree with, but you have to go there. And I know it can affect people personally. And it's, it's challenging, but like to keep your head on and stay true to yourself like aside, like when you're away from the job. Yeah. Is also work. It is.

You know, and it's just like all these different things. And for you to go from, you know, all the projects you were doing and go to someone with an addiction. I don't know. It's the coolest part. And I think it's the hardest part. It is. About what we do. How'd you prepare for summer?

Well, why is that hard? I mean, because you're hearing other people's stories or... Well, yeah, like, you know, for you hearing the stories of these people, it's like, I don't know how you don't get affected personally, you know? Yeah, I think if you're like a living person with a beating heart, you hear these stories and you're like, unless you're like a supposed to be path and like have no empathy. Yeah, unless you're legitimately... But I think that's the point, right?

Don't you want to be affected personally so that you can then... Yeah, exactly. Breathe it into your character. I'm like, no, I don't want to be affected. I just want to... But like to some extent, even though it's... Not to trivialize it, but like even though you're on set, you're playing pretend, like you're not actually going through these things.

Like, you're convincing yourself that the things that you're saying are real and that you mean them. And so it's almost like your body feels like it's real, but your mind knows that it isn't, but you're still kind of having this physical reaction to what's going on in the moment. So I feel like there's this kind of disconnect. Does that make sense? Of course. You know, like in your logical brain, you know that it's not reality. Right.

But you've also, yeah, you're still like sweating, screaming, crying, shaking on the floor. Like you... Your body doesn't know. Yeah. Your body doesn't know. That's why you hear so many co-stars that hook up or like you're playing a married couple. Because when you're in that moment, it feels real because you're playing like you're in love with this person and the other person's playing like they're in love with you. And that's why I think it's so common for people to come together to start dating. Yeah. You know, in those circumstances. Absolutely. Not to say that I have any experience with that. But it's true. It's like your body, it's like this disconnect. It's a sense memory too. It's like there, you know, there's a great science behind it. I went to Rachel loves when I talk about Tony Robbins. But I went to a Tony Robbins workshop.

And one of the things that I found so cool was the science of physiology. The body doesn't know, right? And if we all right now just started going, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. After a while of doing it, our body's going to believe that we're excited. Right? My mom does that with my daughter every morning. She does this chant. She goes, yes, yeah.

Well, they're not together every morning. But they do. Yes, yes. And they raise their arms and they chant. Yes. Because the body will start to just believe whatever you're telling it. And it'll adapt to that and be like, oh, we're happy. We're excited.

Or if you start to, if we all right now slunch in our seat and fold our shoulders and go inward. If we all do rob. I love to make everyone doing everything. You can feel the difference in your body and you'll start to feel heavier and maybe more solemn or depressed. But then you just simply pull. pull your shoulders back, head up, you feel confident. Like, you can literally manipulate the body to believe what you tell it to do. Isn't the body just the coolest thing?

It really is. It's like I've been living in this thing for 25 years and I discover something new about it every day. It feels like. When's your birthday? March 18. Pice's. Oh, I love Pisces. Pisces cancer cancer.

Oh, cancer. Oh, cancer. Mm-hmm. Sensitive? I guess. Yeah. I know my friend that once and she's like, oh my God, God bless you. She's like, do you need a life jacket?

Yeah. I was like, oh, is that why I am the way I am? Got it. You're like, actually, yes, life jacket sounds quite nice. Yeah. That's where my brain goes. Yeah. I don't know enough about a straw.

Like, I want to know more and I know that there are things about me that are accurate, but why did you ask her? Because you felt connected to her. Yeah. Yeah. I know you. Well, because, I mean, we're almost the same height. She's taller than most people are.

but we have the same shoe size. I think you guys look alike. You look like you could be her sister. I don't take that any day. I mean, are you kidding? I feel very if you, I would love to look like her. No, you do. Yeah, but it was funny.

Just from across the room, I'm like, what size of foot? My shoe do you wear? You immediately look down and you're like, it's a rarity. It is. Yes, I know. It really is. I know. It really is.

But you are so wise beyond your years, like just sitting here and talking to you. And I know, well, it's like, you know, say you grow up a little faster, working and surrounding yourself with adults when you're 12 and experiencing the business. I do think it speeds things up. It's kind of like kids that grow up in New York. I feel like, yes, grow up faster. Just because just your circumstances. Yeah. You just have to. Like, well, we're going to get ourselves to our class at 12 on the subway and, like, just figuring it out. For me, it's always been like, if you travel alone, I find that's the quickest way to grow up. This sounds so, it sounds very like, general.

generalized and weird, but traveling alone and just figuring it all out and doing it, I remember for me at a young age, made me feel more responsible and like more ready for life. Where'd you go? I don't remember. I'm not saying I have memories of where I traveled, but it's just one of those things. I don't know. Have you ever traveled alone? I went to London for three months by myself. Here's the thing. You know what I'm I discovered about traveling? What? This is fascinating.

You know how when you're on vacation or on a trip, you feel so good and you feel present and all of that? Yeah. Again, with the science, there's a science to why. And it's not because you're out of your element and you don't have your typical responsibilities. It's not that it's that you're forced to be present because your body can't go on autopilot. It's unfamiliar. It's unfamiliar.

So it's awake and present. You're not like, oh, I go right to go to the coffee shop and I do this. Like when you're in your element, your body knows and kind of takes over and does it. So you could be thinking a million thoughts. And your body doesn't really need you that much to guide it. You travel. You have to be right there because you're like, do I cross the street here? Do I have to turn?

Where's the directions? Like you're right there. And that's part of the fulfillment isn't the, um, atmosphere as much as it is that you're actually present. My mouth is like on the floor. I know. I've never ever thought of it that way in my life. But you're so right.

That's one of those situations where it feels like the second you explained that to me, I was like, oh, yeah, obviously. Right. But you never think of it. You never thought about it. No. Yeah. It's like if that answer feels so obvious.

She does that a lot, which is where she'll say things. I'll be like, oh my God. God, you know. Chocolate is good in cookies. It's true though. But yeah, like, you know, and I find we both have children and I think that's another thing that really keeps you present. And it's a reminder because kids are nothing but present. They don't have other things going on for the most part. I mean, Ali, it's been a little less present as of late, her six-year-old, which is interesting. But it's a constant reminder and I think it's the most important thing because talk about how even what you were saying in the beginning, how your brain automatically goes

to either negative or fear or whatever. And a big part of that is just being in the moment and then you don't have the space to go there if you're just here now. Yeah. Here. Here. Be here now. Like Rob, where are you right now? You're definitely not here. He's thinking about his tacos he's getting for lunch. I'm thinking about our options for the game at the end of it. Oh, I know. I was thinking that. Yeah. What are the kind of things that you had to mull around that you got to discover were false lies and all that, like that anxious thinking?

Well, for me, okay, so my trauma. My trauma is that I went to Catholic school for 12 years. Uh-oh. So, yeah. Tricky business, y'all. Tricky, tricky, tricky business. And while I do find like I'm a very spiritual person,

just by nature, like I absolutely believe in something else. I don't really like know what the word for that is. I don't really like subscribe to a religion per se, but I do still have that Catholicism in my brain, that like little voice where like when I get really anxious, it's like demons. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is there a demon? Yeah, it's like, I'm sitting there and or I'll like be in my room and it'll be, you know, night time and I'm like negative, like negative energies or like something latching on to me or like that that's my big fear. Like you weren't a perfect person today and so you get to suffer and you're bad, which is just so whack. And like, again, it's like, okay, I know that isn't true. Right. There's these like these two sort of. I don't know, opposing sides of my brain where like one side's like, that doesn't know. That's not true. You're safe. You're fine. And then there's the other part of my brain that's like, but what if it isn't? Or what if it is true? And what if this happens? And so that's when sometimes I like need someone to come in and be like, okay, hi, whether it's a therapist or whether it's like my sister or my brother to like my boyfriend to come in the room and be like, okay, hi, like you're here. You're here right now. You're safe. Like, you're in your room.

You're not going to get hit by a car because a good thing happened to you. Like, you're allowed to feel happy in this moment. Yes. And you're allowed to feel safe. And, like, whatever. Like, you make one mistake or you do something that, like, maybe isn't something that feels right or true to you as a person. That doesn't mean that you are that mistake.

That's right. Which is so much easier said than done. But also, it's like in my brain, it's like, oh, God, like, I made this one mess up. I didn't do the, like, perfect right thing that I don't. I wanted to do or that I knew I should have done or I don't know. This is all very general. No, it's making perfect sense. It's making perfect sense. And in my head I'm already going like to the negative in my brain. I'm like, oh my God, something's bad's going to happen. If something could happen. Like I automatically went into my anxiety like as you're talking about it of like reliving

that in my head. I'm like, oh yeah, no. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Things can't stay good. Yeah. No, but it's comforting though to hear it out loud. Right. Right. That's also my fear. though. So my son's in Catholic school right now. He's in first grade and it was the school that felt right out of all the schools I toured. Very spiritual family. We're very spiritual, not religious. Right. He's in a Catholic school and I had listened to some things, not at that school, but just some religious things. And instantly I felt fear. I'm like, wait, I don't want him to think like demons are coming or it's, you know, good and, evil and like it started to make me be like I don't know if I want to implant that in his head.

Right. So it's like. But do that are they teaching those things? They teach religion. They do. Yeah. At first grade. Yeah.

They teach religion. And like since like pre school like when I was went to like a three year old program. Like really? Yeah. Like my Montessori school. It was all religion based. Yeah. Wow.

But I'm not saying it's like that's it's not like the scary part. No. of religion. They're not like teaching the Old Testament and Montessori school. Right. But they were definitely putting it in. Yeah, of course. It's a religious school. They teach religion. I went to Catholic high school, but I wasn't in Catholic school until then. And there was a religion course. Yeah. You have to like take Bible study or whatever. Whatever it is. I can't tell you one thing I learned in there. Yeah. But also I was old enough to kind of already have, you know, been raised for a long time and have my own opinions. Right. And my family is not religious, even though my mom was raised Catholic, my dad's Jewish.

but we were not a religious family. My mom's very spiritual. But I think, you know, in high school, it's a lot different than a first grader or, you know, you're three years old and things are putting in your head. It's harder to not go with it. Well, yeah, Elliot's already come home and told me a couple things where I'm like... Like what? Nothing negative. It was all beautiful. Like little... I don't even know what he said. He said something like, oh, that's very similar to that-da-da-da-da. It was like some story here. heard. Like a story from the Bible? A story from the Bible. It was actually a good analogy he gave. Right, because there's good lessons in it. Right. I was like, that's a great takeaway, but I really hear you on that and I get it. And I want to know, did you get anything positive

from that experience? Absolutely, yes. Like, this is not to hate on the Catholic school experience. And I think that there was a lot of good that came from it as well. And this, obviously, I'm not like anti-religion either. I think that, exactly. Like, that's not at all how I feel. And I think that, And I'm like, ooh, positive, a positive. I do think, I think that it, like, morally, it helped me a lot as a person. And I have very strong beliefs of, like, what's right and what's wrong and how I want to be as a person. And I don't think that, like, you know, even when I was in school, even though I started, you know, learning about this from third, you know, three years old, I mean, as I was going through it. as I was going through it, you know, went through confirmation.

You're supposed to say, like, I believe. Like, I denounce all other than Christ. And like, this is how I feel. Right, because that's what confirmation is. In eighth grade, you're saying, this is my religion. I'm confirming that this is what I believe. But I was standing there in the church, and I didn't say the words along with everyone.

But I, like, still got the oil on my forehead and, like, went through the whole practice because I just, from day one, was just going along with it. And I always was like, I don't know if this is what I believe. I don't know if this is what I agree with. Like, I'm in eighth grade. I'm saying, like, I'm a literal child. Like, I don't even know how I want to dress or like what I want for breakfast or like what I want to do with my life, let alone what I want to subscribe to for the rest of my days.

So I don't know. I definitely think it's a person-to-person experience. I feel like a home life has a lot to do with that. My dad is very religious. My mom is not at all. So at home, I always felt like it was safe to explore and to ask questions. And was your dad open to that? Yeah. Yeah. Even though he was religious. Absolutely. What I, what I respect a lot about my father is that he's a very religious person and he's going to believe what he feels right is to believe, but he's never going to force another person to share those thoughts or beliefs, like including his children. That's beautiful.

Yeah. That's beautiful. And that's how it should be. Exactly. It's like, yes, this works for me. This fits for me. Right. And it doesn't have to for you. Exactly. Yeah. That's, so what about your siblings. Did they follow along? We all share the same sort of thoughts and feelings. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tricky one as it is. It is tricky, but so is the rest of life. So it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like as long as we're doing, because I think there are a lot of beautiful things that come with that. And really, having a foundation. Like, they teach them morals every day and they teach them about, you know, what it means to be a good human. And I'm like, that's great. Yeah, I don't think that that's a bad lesson to learn. My nieces and nephews are all in, like, Catholic preschool. What's that way they are? They like pray. They pray. And they're like three. They pray at Elliott's school. Every morning. Yeah. Yeah. We used to say like the Pledge of Allegiance

and the Lord's Prayer. Or like our Father who art in Heaven. Yeah. We did that in high school. I actually really like that prayer. I really do. I find comfort in all religions. Yeah. So I don't care where I am, whatever their practice or ritual is, I find beauty in that. You like the ritual.

I love ritual. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, there's beautiful beliefs in every religion and it's whatever works for you, you know? I'm fully supportive of whatever anyone wants to believe in or what they practiced. It's really to each their own. And we've, you know, it's such an individual choice, I think.

So, and obviously a lot of people are born into certain religions and it works for them sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. Like, your family's very Catholic, right, Rob? My family is not my wife and children. Right, right. Where are you from? Chicago. Yeah, and my dad was the same as yours.

He was almost a priest. Wow. And then decided to have a family. Okay. It was very religious. When I was confirmed was the last time I went to church. Really? Wow.

Because when you're an adult in the church and it's your decision. And then you're like, okay, peace out. Why did you not go back? I wasn't interested in religion. I mean, like you said, I liked the moral kind of structure of it that I gained. And I think there was value to that. But beyond that, it was enough. You guys aren't making a strong case for not doing it.

Because you're both really grounded and good people. You're not making it look bad. I don't think it's Natalie and I kind of debate about it because she's very anti-religion Right, like I have any kind Yeah, and I think there is value Is she spiritual?

No She's just She's like dust in the universe spiritual Okay Yeah But she is like Does not like religion at all Okay

But I find value in it Sure But I also I'm not taking my kid to church on Sundays Yeah I also think that there's other ways to learn those morals. Like, it doesn't have to be through a specific relationship. That's ultimately where we

landed in to have like... That's so valid. Well, every cartoon and every children's drug all has like a good moral lesson or most, a lot of them do anyway. Not the shows my kids are watching. Well, when her three-year-old watching die hard, I think it's a little different. But there are so many now that you have access

to, which I think is wonderful, you know, in all aspects of life. There's so many things to turn to, especially for children in that space, which I find really helpful. Don't you? Do you still pray? No. I find it's so funny when I'm having a nightmare, I pray in my nightmare, which I think is interesting.

Wow. Like, so spooky. But like if I'm having a nightmare, I say the Lord's Prayer in my nightmare. Like every time? Frequently. Wow. Like when I feel like something, because, again, like a lot of my nightmares revolve around, like, a dark presence in my home or like something in my life or you know whatever which is I don't know

again it's that it's the dual you're like oh my god that's so scary what if there's reality to that situation and also me being like waking up in the morning and you know the sun shining in my eyes and me being like oh okay actually I'm I feel fine um but yeah anytime something spooky is happening in my dreams I I still save the Lord's prayer in my dreams but also I think that the reason why we're not or I'm not going to say we why I feel like I'm not making a strong case against religion is also like I grew up with a lot of privilege in the religion like I'm a young straight white woman like the church wasn't anti me right right like I wasn't the person that they were teaching against I didn't you know but so when I was growing up and I wasn't really

exposed to a lot of the world like of course I didn't feel directly attacked by it you know the teachings weren't directly attacking me but then as I got older and I was listening to more of the teachings and I was like, I don't agree with this. Right. I don't agree with this. And that's like when I started to develop my own thoughts and my own ideas and I started hearing these things. And I was like, I don't know if I'm down with this per se.

That's when I took a step away from it. And I know like a lot of people aren't lucky enough to have the same experience that I had with it growing up, you know? Like, it's a really good point. It's a really good point. It's a really good point. And that's very true because it is a privilege to not have that. I forget because it's unfathomable that anyone would be against human rights.

Right, exactly. Well, and I forgot. It's hard to believe. I forgot because that wasn't, like my school from my memory was always very accepting. Like the people. And obviously, like, I can't speak because I wasn't thinking about those sorts of things. I was growing up. So I wasn't in the position where I was noticing those things.

But based on my experience, like, growing up, I never directly remember anyone in my life, like in my close circle, ever being anti-anyone. There was always this sort of acceptance around letting people be who they want to be and feeling safe to do that. But then when you like start to zoom out, zoom out and actually like listen, and pay attention and start focusing and like waking up to these things. You're like, oh, my God. Yeah.

Literally. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Please. Dad, I can't have go in. Right.

But again, I feel like being in Los Angeles and like, I feel lucky that I moved out here when I did. Yeah. Like, when I was younger, growing up back home, growing up in like, he was like kind of suburban but also very much so countryside. and I spent a lot of time playing outside and like running from neighbor's house to neighbor's house and only coming home

when like sometimes after dark you know we would all play big games of like neighborhood wide games of tag and like I don't know if that's something you can do out here I don't have that exactly it's just not it's safe Ghosts in the graveyard yeah yes yes

like the best games and we're like out in the woods until midnight like climbing trees and building forts that sounds so ideal like I need to move where you grew up It was the best way to grow up. And then I came out here and my worldview expanded and I was introduced to new and different cultures and different ways of life and different people at a time when I was starting to like develop and grow and decide what I liked and what I didn't like. And I just feel very lucky that like I came out here when I did to be able to have the space and the freedom to learn and experience.

Your whole perspective and awareness, you're just like blowing my mind with how brilliant. I mean, because 25 is, yeah, I mean, you know. That's my other belief is that like a lot of 25-year-olds have the same thoughts and feelings and ideas and opinions and are so incredible and brilliant. Young people are in general. I love kids. I love young people. I think that they're the coolest, like beyond, beyond, beyond cool. But they just don't have the space to speak.

and because we don't give them that space because we're like, oh, you're a kid. Like, you're still figuring it out. You don't know anything yet. Yeah. Which I'm not down with. And they're more, they're closer to the source of it all. They're more tapped in than we are oftentimes.

Absolutely, yes. Yeah. I mean, and you're, you know, you've grown up in the era of like Instagram and social media. Yeah. Where people do have more of a space and a voice. Yeah, they do. But also, no, no, no, but also I wonder like, was that like, was that, like, Like, did you find it?

Yeah, what was that like? Yeah, what was that? What was that like exactly? This to be... I mean, it came into my life when I was, what, like 14 years old? Yeah, so that's what I want to know, you know? Yeah. I mean, at first it was really exciting and cool, like, when Myspace first day on the team when I was like a baby, baby when I was younger.

And I was like, all these rocks and like getting to like design your own page, like fully coding at nine years old so that I could, you know, get the sparkle back. round or whatever. I loved and it was so much fun and it was so interesting. And then as it started to become a part of my career, I developed a real dislike for it. And now I have like a borderline addiction to the internet, especially to TikTok. I'm not on it. Like I'm not on. I don't make TikToks, but I love TikTok.

It must have been like hours scrolling that feed to the, to like the point where I have to delete it off of my phone if I can, if I can manage to for like a few days just to like take some time offline. Because it's such a like soothing just turn off. Are you kidding? Just get to like melt my little brain out of my ears. Wow. Isn't that feels so good sometimes? Right.

Right. Right. Of course. I don't have TikTok. I've never like someone has sent me a TikTok video before sure, but I've never actually looked at TikTok scrolled through it. But I hear the same thing that people are like waiting for you. Okay. The algorithm is so impressive.

Wow. I've seen people. So I got on it to learn sign language because they do like sign language. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Like doing songs and stuff. Yeah. But I would go on just to see those and I've never done anything else on it.

God, you're using it for good. Oh. You really are. It's amazing. But I'm on Instagram, you know, and you can get just scrolling and mindless. But what I find is for me, Instagram is. hard because there's so much that's out there that's only, well, it's actually two things. Personally, people are showing like good and happy and how amazing. And the other side is every

news story is horrifically morbid and fearful. Yes. Right? Yeah. Like this person died in a, you know, so it's like both extremes. And I'm like, well, where's the middle just reality of what people are going through and what they're doing in their lives and where's this middle ground, right? So for me, it's like both extremes and it can make me feel so shitty and, like, depressed sometimes or whatever it may be.

And, like, I'll go off it. You know, I'll take long breaks. And, you know, obviously with our work, you need to have some social media aspects. Have to. You have to. It's so annoying. It can be, right?

I don't like it. Anything you're obligated, you know, to do is always tricky. But, yeah, I find, like, such a weird relationship with it. it. But I love seeing my friends and like what everyone's up to. Exactly. It's like I feel like one of the few people who does want to see your vacation photos. I'm like, I want to see your family picks. Like, what you eat for lunch. Exactly. Like, that's what I'm on there for. I'm like, I want to see what so-and-so from high school that I haven't spoken to in 10 years is doing with their life. Right. Yeah, but I don't like the fact that it is such a big, I understand why it's a big

part of our job, but I don't like the fact that like you, the number of followers, you, the number of followers that you have on social media dictates, like, whether or not you can, you book apart sometimes. I recently had an experience like that and I had never had it before where someone got the job because they had more followers than I did. And I was like, wait, what? I mean, I understand it from like a financial business perspective. Sure. Like, there's a built-in audience, right? Yeah. But it's still frustrating, like, as an actor when you're like, but I really feel like I could have done that really well. And it's like this new reality. this new rejection, this new thing that comes along with it. And it's hard. And it takes therapy.

But they're also getting it because they're a better marketer, not a better actor. Do you know what I mean? Like it's marketing. Right. And that's part of the industry that I don't like is remembering that, oh, I'm a commodity. Yeah. Yuck. Right. I know. But so is, I mean, I talked to my sister about it and she's in the corporate world. She was like, yeah, me too, babe. Like, you're not special. Every single industry is that way. Every industry. Yeah, like you are just like your tool. You're a tool to make the most money for this thing.

Right. And that's the part of it of the bit, the literal business side of the business is what I don't like. Yeah. But I'm an adult person. And it's like, okay. There's parts of work where you're not going to like every aspect of your life. Yeah. Yeah.

This is the reality of the situation. What are you going to do about it? And so it's like, okay. How do I not let myself? become a bitter, jaded little... Biach? Just like a little hag walking around, like, I'm 25.

When I'm over here like, ow, you know, like... Also, it's all smoke and mirrors. Like, I was talking to a friend... Like Instagram. Today, Instagram. And she was saying that someone posted, you know, they were at this big party and it was glamorous and gorgeous.

and amazing, but then was texting them on the side being like, oh, I just want to go home. I want to get out of here. It's crowded. It's whatever. But based on Instagram, you'd see it and be like that person is. They're living the life. Yeah. But really, they just want to go home.

Yeah. Why are we always just want to go home? Me too. Every time. Maybe we should start posting that. Like, here I am at this place. I want to be home. I want to go home.

If you ever see me out of work event, chances are. I want to go home. I want to be in my car. And that's not to say I'm not grateful for, you know, being in those places. It's just a lot of times it's not as fun as it looks. It's work. It's like it's a work party. Yeah.

Yeah. Or nothing's going to be as fun as being in bed watching reality television. At 25 years old, do you feel like that too? Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah. I was talking to a friend about that recently, a director.

I just watched the movie Wine Country. Oh, yeah. I love that movie. I love it so much. And there's that game that they play called like Path Not Traveled. Yeah.

If you're familiar with it, it's like a very small bit. Where they're like, okay, path not traveled. And you talk about like the path in your life that you could have gone down and you didn't. Right?

Right? Yeah. It's kind of a fun game to think about. And I'm over here and I'm like literally 25 years old and I'm like, oh, Path Not Traveled. I guess I could have done this. and could have done that. I was talking to my friend about it, and he's like, hello?

He's like, you're 25. What do you mean, path not traveled? He's like, you're just starting it. He's like, why are you, like, reminiscing on your life, like, you're a 75-year-old woman. Like, wake up. Oh, my goodness. Like, sometimes you forget. I think just because of the nature of the business, I forget that I'm not a 75-year-old woman.

And also, I forget that I'm not 14 because I look. a lot younger and so a lot of people treat me like I'm younger. And so it's this like, I don't know, weird, I don't know, dueling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Doing thoughts and ideas. But yeah, that's the, I keep forgetting that I'm 25 and that I was born yesterday. And that I have. I don't know if you were. But he's like, yeah, you got done this before. Yeah, old soul stuff going on for sure. But now I'm thinking path not travel. I'm like, well, we're going to be playing that. I was going to say, do you guys, do any of you have a Path not traveled? Oh, God. I got a lot of thoughts not traveled. I mean, I got a lot of forks in the road

my journey. I don't know. I've thought about that. And you know, the craziest part is that, like, I've had regrets, right? Sure. I don't anymore because when I looked at my children's face for the first time, it's like there could not have been another path. Like, this was written in destiny. Like, I looked into their eyes and I was just like, this is. it, you know? So it kind of erased for me any regrets or any questioning of should I have because I'm like, no. Because everything you had done had led you to, led me to that moment. Had we not had kids though, I'm sure we would be like. I'd probably still be drinking in an alcoholic mess. You know what I always do when I'm in my car, I see other people in their cars and all I want to do

is see their path. What is your life? Where are you going? What are you doing? And why are you drinking a big gulp from 7-11? Who told you that was okay? No, there's so many things when you look back and I'm a firm believer in not having regrets. I've always been raised that way.

And, you know, big believer in everything happens the way it's supposed to. And there's definitely things that have happened in my life where I'm like, what the fuck was that? But yeah, sure. I think about it. Yeah. Yeah. Even with like acting, like me wanting to be an actor and child actor, I think of if it would have happened to me at the age it happened to you or the age it happened to Rachel, I didn't have the constitution for it yet. Like, I don't know where that would have gone. You know? It would have gone in a limo without underwear. It would have gone in a limo without a underwear for sure. And it still might. The day's not done for me. When you come to those forks in the road, how do you make those decisions? Are you like a gut instinct person or you more like pros and con list kind of situation?

Or do you just ride the wave? I am to a fault, not a logical thinker. Okay. You know, like or rational or whatever. I am all gut and instinct and I go off feelings, which can get you obviously, maybe. the wrong path or in trouble sometimes, but that's just how I'm built and what I go by. And I have such a strong instinct and intuition. So lucky. That whatever happens, I know that I have to listen to it. I'm only gut. My husband laughs all the time because he's brain and I'm gut. And I'm like,

I already decided like five days ago and he's like, well, let's draw a graph. Okay. What about you? balance each other out in that way or does that lead to? You can be like mind your own business. But like do you know, is there a conflict in that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's conflict on the simplest things. Like even when it comes to like picking a rug, right? I'm like, that one.

And he's like, but if we do it this way, is it that like he needs to really dissect it and make sure he's making the right choice. Okay. I wonder if it's a male female brain thing. Like Rob, do you find Natalie's more? goes gut and then you'll actually think things out? Or are you the girl? I think things out, but once I make a decision,

I'm good with leaning into it. But does Natalie kind of like go through all the thoughts? It depends. She's very indecisive. Yeah, well, that's a thing too, for sure. I used to be. But I'm not anymore. Well, I'm in certain areas.

I'm super decisive. I'm super decisive in some areas. Like, nope, this, boom, done. And then other areas. I'm in the market aisle for 20 minutes trying to choose between two crackers. Yeah. You know, it's like, what about either? Yeah.

I've always gone with gut as well. But then I feel like my logical brain will try to convince my gut otherwise. And then back to like not necessarily always trusting, like my anxious thoughts, I don't always trust my gut. And I think that that's a hard thing to do because sometimes trusting your gut is scary. Sure. Because it feels like the decision that doesn't. doesn't always make the most sense. Or is the easiest.

Exactly. And you're taking a big gamble. And then when it pays off, it feels so good. And you're like, I knew I should trust my gut. Right. Your brain will always try to talk you out of it because it'll go to the fear. Yeah. And.

So what ifs. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Of course. It's survival instincts, I'm sure. Yeah. Well, it's the difference between instinct and intuition is that instinct is always going to

bring up fear. Right? So instincts happen and we know to run. Or we know like, that person is suspect, like I don't get them. Like they don't feel right to me. It can feel like fear. But intuition only speaks through clarity's voice. How do you hear it?

Yes. You have to make the space to hear it, right? So whatever that means, whether it be meditating, whether it be yoga, whether it be journaling, whether it be taking five minutes and just breathing and feeling your body, the more space you create to listen to your intuition, the more clearly you're going to hear it. It sounds so good to be that in touch with yourself. Like, that sounds like that would feel so good. I don't think I am. I think you go in and out. Okay. Because I'm thinking about it and I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. But I'm like, I, but my instincts are always like spot on, like my intuition.

But I don't feel like I'm always clear. And you sometimes waver on listening to it. Is the only problem. Okay. But your intuition, all of our intuition is dead on. Even if it leads us to a path that was questionable, right? Even if it's to dating the wrong person, if your intuition guides you towards it, it's like there's some lesson to be learned in it. And no one can explain it.

No one can tell you why. Right. But if you're led by your intuition, I'm going to bring up my man, Tony Robbins, again. Yeah. He always says. Yes. No, the most successful people in the world, he says, make gut decisions. They make them quick and they never turn back. Because it's like the gut is constantly speaking to you. Okay. Right. It's the instincts that are more archaic and animalistic that can often lie to you. Instincts? Instincts and intuition are two different things. Right, right. That's so interesting. Like your instinct is like I should run from that car. You're right. Yeah. Right. That's an instinct. That's an animal instinct. versus your intuition that gets like, let's say, reads on people where you're like,

I just have this feeling. Right. But it's like not thoughts. Right. It's just a feeling, right? You know what I'm talking about? And you'll just get a clear read on someone. And then your brain will try and talk you out of it.

No, he's nice. He's good. He's this. But from the moment you met that person, your insights told you the truth. I've never been wrong about that, about people. Neither have I. But sometimes I feel like such a. bad person in the meantime, like before it becomes clear to, before, you know,

when you get that gut instinct and you're like, something's not right. And then, but everyone else is like, oh, you're like, oh, but they're really actually very nice and they're really loving. They've never done anything to anyone or me that as far as I'm aware. And then all of a sudden it all comes to the surface. And you're like, I shouldn't have felt bad about not feeling right about that person. I have a friend, Lindsay, who I have so much admiration for because she always trust her gut instinct and is not afraid to be like, no, they're not allowed into my house.

Wow. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. And she's never wrong. Of course she's not. It's like that thing like. Never wrong. There's two dueling things like people pleaser, intuition, right?

And mind battle all the time because sometimes I'll be like, no, like scared to say no or whatever. Like you're saying your friend, Lindsay is no problem doing that. Yeah. It takes so much like strength and confidence and just being totally. totally sure to act on that. And the only time I always do it and I've said this is with my daughter. Like, no problem. Oh yeah. For someone else. Yeah, exactly. But I'm, yeah, I have a hard time saying, though. Yeah, but you know, recently you went through something when it came to a part and you made a really clear decision based on your intuition and you cleared the space. There was a lot of conflict around it.

Yeah. And you went to your intuition. You created the space to listen and you were clear as day from the beginning and you were listening to the noise of the mind. But once you quieted the noise and listened to your body. The agents. Yeah. That's the noise of the mind. Otherwise known as. But you, you stood up for your truth in that and what you wanted to do. It was really hard. It was really hard. But I did. And that's the only time I think in my entire career that I've done that. How did it feel? It felt right. Yeah. Good. Yeah. But it was not easy. I was so stressed. out. Oh my God. No, I celebrate you for that because there's nothing worse. I've only done that once before or like said no when it came down to a like a screen test or something. It was final

stages. So I didn't have the part. It wasn't like it was offered to me and I said no. Like I'm not like being like they gave me this and I was said no. But it was like coming to the final stages. That's what I did. No, but I like that I'm just like I don't want people to think that my No, I'm joking. Of course. I get it. Or I'm too big for my britches. And I, like, it was coming to the final stages.

I had to start getting serious. And it would have been really good money. Which to be in that position and to be able to say no is already, again, a massive privilege. And I'm aware of that. I'm very grateful for that. But at the same time, I was like, it doesn't feel right. Right. That's right.

It doesn't feel right. And I said no. And my sister was like, are you crazy? Right. Why would you do that? And my parents were like, are you insane? Why would you do that?

And then I was like, oh my God, I'm crazy. I'm insane. I made the biggest mistake of my life. And then I got the cherry call and the... Right, because there's always a reason, right? Exactly. A few weeks later. And I don't know, maybe that was just a coincidence or whatever, but it felt really good

to be able to call them and be like, guess what I? Guess what? Yeah. You're into which. Yeah. And then they were celebrating me for listening to my gut. That's the best feeling in the world. Yeah, but this is also speaking, like, when she just talked about me passing on that,

my first thought was nothing's going to come up again or nothing like this is going to happen or my representation isn't going to work for me or I'm not going to get another job. Right. So it's that same thing, which has been a theme the whole time, where your brain goes immediately. Yeah, that big actor fear. Right. It's like, oh, my God, I'm going to get dropped.

Yeah, but then you had that confirmation by getting that dream job. Right. Because you didn't do the other thing. Exactly. Look at the signs from the universe, or whatever you want to say. You got a show a month later too. I got a what? You got your show a month later too.

I did? Well, you just shot in Toronto. Oh. That thing. Yeah, you got to sit here with me. Yeah. You lucky lady. That's right.

I got to go to the opening. No, I don't know what I did. But I did do another job. That's true that I probably wouldn't have been able to do. So there's always a reason for everything. Exactly. Exactly. Which is, you know, a comforting way to look at.

things sometimes. Yeah. And also it's just it's about how you talk to your gut too. If you're constantly like, no, I'm not sure I can trust this. Then you're telling your body constantly it's not trustworthy. Right. And so it's signals are going to weaken. But if you're constantly telling yourself, I trust myself, I trust myself, I trust myself. When signals come up, you'll know that it was a signal you can trust by how it feels in your body. Is it comforting? Does it feel right? Or is it bringing up major fear?

Do you find that being more in tune with your gut has helped you in terms of physical health as well? Like have you found it easier to listen to your body physically speaking where you're like, I think I might be getting like, do you know, does that make sense? Yeah. Am I making sense? have a question, but I don't know how to get the words out of my mouth. Like, do you, does the psychological connection between trusting your gut end up physically?

Yes. Like, do you feel more in your own body, more connected to yourself and, like, more in tune with the finer, I don't know, the things that maybe most of us wouldn't recognize immediately? So I find it reverse. I find by getting in touch with my body first, like, I'll say this a million times. Yoga. Yoga. The more I'm in touch with my body and I can feel my body and I'm in my body, the more I hear my intuition. That makes sense. Okay. But it doesn't have to be yoga. It could be hiking.

It could be in nature. The more you can feel your body when we forget we have a body, we're fucked. We're all mine. Right. Right? So the more we can do to remember that we have a body, the closer to our intuition we are. Well, that's the biggest thing with like mental health stuff. It's like you got to move your body, right? Like be active and whatever. It's like one of the biggest thing. Yeah, advice you'll hear and get. So there's something to be said for it, obviously.

I need to move my body more. But that's another story. Do you move your body? I, okay, so like earlier this year, I was like, oh, God, I need to move my body more. You know what I've always wanted to do? Ballet. Oh. And so I started taking ballet lessons.

Amazing. Yeah. as a 25-year-old, just getting into it, and I'm, like, wearing my little leotard and my little ballet shoes. And I, like, I haven't done, like, that's something I haven't done since I was in first grade. Right. I'm so bad at this. I'm going to quit. I've always been afraid to do it because I've always, like, felt a certain, like, disconnect. Like, I've always been kind of gangly and uncomfortable in my own body. And so now being in ballet class and, like, you cannot think about anything other than what is going on with your body.

and it is the best feeling in the world, and I'm not great at it. Like, I'm certainly not good by any means. You can't be in the first few months of ballet because it's so skill-based. But, like, it just, every time I'm in class and I'm there with my instructor who I adore, and she's so supportive. And I'm just, I'm learning a lot about myself. And I'm now capable of doing things that I never in my life thought I was capable of doing. And it feels so good.

It feels so good. See? Yeah, I was in there. So awesome. I was in there the other. day and I was like, oh, this is what people talk about when they talk about like healing their inner child. I was like, this is what it feels like for me. Good to you. Yeah, I just, it brings me so much joy. And it's not something I'm doing for my career. Like, it's something I'm very much so,

I'm doing it for myself. Yeah. And it's the best money I've ever spent. I love that. That is so rad. And I think that that's it. See, and it becomes a combination. Yeah. So it's like you're in your body and all of a sudden your inner child's awake going, oh my God, this feels good or you remember me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to start horseback riding. You should. You should. My daughter was just taking lessons again and I'm like, I want to be riding with her. Yeah. Not only is it something for me, but it's something for us together, which is. Did you used to ride? When I was a kid, and you said you were really into horses. Oh, God. Yeah. I wrote until I was like 16 years old. Until I just didn't have the time for it anymore. I love it. It's amazing. Horses are incredible. Incredible.

A boyfriend always teases me. He's like, you're a horse girl. You just won't own up to it. You're a horse girl. There's nothing wrong with that. And someone said recently, girls that are dedicated to horses, like, growing up, they don't get into the boys and the problem. Like, they're dedicated to their riding and their horses. Yeah. I hope that's true because I'm definitely steering my daughter down that path. That's the path she's going down. This is like a whack jump. But did you guys watch Love Island? She probably did. Wait, Love Island. No, love is blind. No, love is the one that I watched. Oh, okay. It's a reality. Yeah. I've heard of it. Wait, is it the new season?

I feel like Sarah Highland, maybe. Was that that one? That's the American version, but in the UK version that just finished airing, the girl who came in, like, third place is a big horse girl. Oh, yeah? But she was also the one person in the villa who, like, wasn't taking anyone's shit. Oh, because she's into horse. Yeah, and she was saying there, she looked so unamused, 90% of the time, which I adored,

and she was just like, whatever. Like, she always said, like, I just want to go home and, like, get back on my horse. Aw. I have to watch it now. It's a lot. There's like 60 episodes and they're all like an hour long. I love that kind of stuff. That's my favorite thing.

Like mindless, just lay in bed and watch and just... Pure Joy. Yes. Here's your boyfriend, watch with you. Oh, yeah. He, like, borderline likes it more than I do. He is. He's fully addicted.

I love it. It's so much fun. It's, yeah, he's like, sorry, like, but you, can you come home at this time so that we can... So we can watch the episode. That is so cute. He's like, I found a way to street. meant. Yeah, I love it. This has been such like a very mature, like, incredible conversation, which I didn't even know what to expect, you know, and obviously you're just, you're amazing and

so impressive. I feel like I blacked out. Look, I don't even know what I said. That always happens. Speaking about anything, I feel like I black out and I come to him like, oh my God. Do I even agree with anything that I said. I think that means you're channeling. Do you think? Yeah. Okay. I'm into that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take it. Sure. I think you're just in the zone. Like you're in flow. That sounds so nice. That's what I experience from you. You're a little flowster. Piscese's a place. Pice's brain. Yeah. I think, well, anyway, I just have to thank you for sharing with us and being so open and... Thank you for having me and letting me. be in that flow state.

So thanks for me channeled that. Absolutely. Yeah, were you about to say you're going to bring it down a notch by playing this stupid game? Yeah, let's play a stupid game. Yeah, let's bring it down a notch

and be... I don't know. We like to do a game. Mary, Barry, one night stand. Barry one night stand. Yeah. And we normally think

well in advance of who to give you, but Rob, this is all on Rob. Oh no. No promises. Do you have? Yeah. Who are they? You got.

All right. Let's go. Leslie Odom, Jr. You can pass. Yeah, exactly. No. See, he likes to, he's always obscure and cool. He was in Hamilton and.

It doesn't matter. Oh, that's on me. No. No. No, it's Rob. It's Rob. The problem is they pick like 60 to 70-year-olds. Well.

And then I pick two obscure ones. So then we just. fight over. Do you know Stephen Yun is? Yes. Okay. Yes.

We're getting Stephen Yun. Okay. Let's go Stephen Yun. Elijah Wood. Dave Franco. Okay. I was going to say Tom Holland. Nobody knows him.

That's why it's weird. Yeah. Come up. He's young. Mary Stephen Yun. Actually, hold on. Mary Elijah Wood. Fuck Stephen Yun.

Barry. Oh, sorry. Sorry. No, no, you're good. We usually say fuck Mary kill. But, very different. That was hard. That's a hard one.

That's hard. Because they're all threes. Very, very nice. Yeah, they're all three, they're all three marys. You know what I mean? Like, ultimately, actually, I would marry all three of them. But I think the reason why I'm saying Mary, Elijah, what, at this moment is because I've recently become very into over the garden wall. If you're familiar?

No. Which is like an animated series. Have you watched it? I have not. It's so pleasant. What is it? It came out in like 2014. I think it's a children's show.

Like it was on Cartoon Network, if I'm not mistaken. The score is gorgeous. The music is so beyond beautiful. It's charming and has a really good, like, moral story. Really? Yeah, it goes to a beautiful place. And no one, I think it has like a cult following. I saw some people.

Instagram stalking people that I haven't seen in like 10 plus years. These two people that I went to summer camp with that are now together and they went as them as Halloween. And I was like, why shoring a teapot on our head? Like, who are these people? And then I figured it out and I was like, oh my God, that's beautiful and brilliant. Wow. Can we watch it with our kids?

Is it a kid show? It's a little spooky. Oh, no, my kids love spooky. Okay. I was like, so if your kids watching Die Hard, I think that. Yeah. And like his favorite, one of them's favorite movies is Nightmare Before Christmas. Yes.

Okay. So that's what I'd say like if they're into like nightmare before Christmas, Coraline, like that whole world, it's perfect. What's it called again? Over the Garden Wall. Over the Garden Wall. It's on Hulu, I think. My daughter won't up and down.

Or he's in it? He's in it. He's the voice. I don't know. He might, his production company might do it. They do a bunch of weird shit. That's probably. Yeah.

Okay. That's probably what it is. It's very good. I highly recommend. Okay. Well, this was a fun one. This was very unexpected and awesome. And again, thank you so much.

Again, thank you for having me. This is such a pleasant surprise. I ran into you at a coffee shop. Was it like two weeks ago? Was that how it came up? Yeah. Yeah. Rob's our hustler.

God. We meet most of our guests at Maru. He just goes out there. Yeah. Come here often, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing?

Wednesday. I like when things come full circle like this. Yeah. It was perfect. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you. Okay.

So we're going to get to Sierra in a second. But the first and most important thing that we need to address today. I'm going to do it. What? Don't do what? What do you think we're going to do, Rob? I don't know. What are you going to do?

He's always scared. He's very scared of us. Someone brought to our attention a comment saying that we are so mean to Rob. And I stand by their comments. No. Here's the deal. Yeah. Go ahead, Rachel.

I'm going to find the actual... Oh, I was like, are you texting someone right now? Okay, so she's going to read the quote. But here's the thing. I would like to explain. Olivia and I have the same love language that we have self-proclaimed ourselves. We've made it up. Making fun of or talking shit is the...

Biggest form of flattery, how a guy can get us, all of those things. Okay? That's our main thing. Just a form of affection, okay? Mm-hmm. It's platonic or romantically. It's always our favorite form of affection. That's how we want it. Like...

For the record, I was not offended or... We know you weren't offended. No, but we felt that it's important to say, number one, Rob is our little brother. Okay. Number two, if we make fun... of you, it means we love you. Period. End of story. And we both grew up with brothers. Older brothers. So it's a really natural thing to tease. And none of this is important. What's important. Here, I'll read the thing. We welcome all feedback. No, we don't.

Olivia doesn't welcome the feedback when they say anything negative about her. But we welcome all feedback. We're not saying anything wrong with her. I want her to know that our precious Robbie Rob is taken care of. She says, sorry, but I 100% agree with Rob. He definitely endures a moderate degree abuse from both the broads. I know they can be sweet because they're very tolerant and kind to each other. I love you, Rachel. I love you. I love you. But have such a tone and attitude with Rob. It's rough to hear as a fan of Rob's. And I'm a fellow foodie who loves to hear tons of takes on restaurants and food. I much prefer how much love he gets from Dax. Just my unsolicited thoughts on this. Let me ask you this, because Natalie found this comment. Did Natalie read that?

And was she like, yeah, they're mean to Rob. Or was Natalie laughing? She was, she asked, do you read the comments on broad ideas? and found it funny. Yeah, because Natalie, she gets it. Right. So anyway, just wanting to make it very clear that we love Rob very dearly

and we only make fun of and talk shit to the people we care about the most. And, okay, so why I said none of this is important, the most important thing is that you're only getting to hear what Rachel and I deliver at Rob. Nobody is hearing how Robb. serves us all the time.

Yeah, that's a very valid point. Nobody's getting. You are right. I don't think that's ever happened. What are you talking about? Yeah, exactly. Okay, yes. What you were not hearing or reading over text is what Rob is serving us.

Basically, what I'm saying is, it's a two-way street. It is. So this was not a, this was not a... Rob purposely edits out anything he says. That's not even... Well, not even that. He does it off air all the time because we're actually close with him off air

and we get the real rob that gives it to us just as hard as we give it to him. Rascal Rob. And so there's no sweet little victim Rob in this situation is all... Seems like a weird defensive response that is unnecessary.

Is it true? Yes. Yeah, absolutely it's true. Well, I don't think one person leaving that comment said that. I don't think this is like a collective thing that people are like, someone needs to address this. Well, anyway, we appreciate it.

We appreciate it so we can bring it up and talk about it. So I'm happy we've cleared that up. It's all in love, people, all in love. Okay, so Sierra was so lovely. I just thought, what an amazing. She's only 25. 25 going on like 40. I mean, mentally because I was so impressed.

impressed with her, how poised and, like, just educated just in life. She blew me away. She really did. Mm-hmm. So cool. And I mean, I really learned, like, a lot from her. You know, and going into it, you know, when someone's younger and you feel like you're a lot older, Rob, you are on the younger side.

But us in our 40s, you know, you're talking. I'm like, okay, so I often feel like, okay, what am I going to talk to this person about? Can I relate to younger people? and it was so just it flowed so beautifully and she brought so much the conversation. I just was pleasantly surprised. She was wise beyond her years. Yes.

Yeah. Truly. She was rad. One other thing that I think is really important to talk about. Good. It's always good when you bring topics to these. There was something I thought. I'm like, we really have to talk about.

some poetry. Have you ever written any poetry? Yeah, in like high school. Did you really? We had to for... Oh. Were you like a rhyming poet or just like a metaphorical? Is it a metaphorical a word? Yeah, like hyperboleys. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Did you write, do you write poetry to Natalie? No. No? No. Do you write her nice cards, your notes? I do. That's sweet. Do you proclaim your love in these notes? I have. See, we don't get to see this side very often And it's very sweet Natalie, show us the cards

Show us your cards We would like to read them on Does Jeff write you know? Oh yeah He does Jeff's very romantic How did he propose to you? You know, at that point

I was a little irritated Because I'd already had a baby Yeah Not with him So it was with him It was with him But he delivered it He doesn't know how to make decisions, so he, like, weighs options for a long time, and he had a long, he took him forever to figure out the diamond situation.

So by the time he proposed, I was kind of like irritated already, you know, but he did it on my son's first birthday, took me to dinner, then took me to the beach. But you knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I didn't say anything, but like I felt. Does he know now that you knew it was coming? Yeah. Yeah. So it's going to say. He's going to know now. But my favorite part about our engagement is... He knows now that he proposed to you? He knows. You guys got married?

He knows. I took the wool off from over his eyes. But when we got home, there was, like, a row of candles, like, leading up to our door and, like, a heart shape with, like, sparkling cider and his family was there. And Blue Bloods, the TV show was blasting. Because it's their favorite show. And, like, that was the least romantic, but best memory. Yeah, I get that.

That's really sweet. How'd you propose to Natalie? Look, in the hot seat, he doesn't like it. He's itching his house. I told her, I'd gotten us tickets to some, like, pop-up restaurant thing in Chicago. And I rented this apartment in Chicago that had a big. like balcony that overlooked the river in the city. And like just for that night you rented an apartment?

Yes. Okay. And then like filled the balcony with flowers and a table and lights and stuff. And then our friend who's a chef, a really good chef, he was there and cooked us like a 10-course dinner. Wow. So we go there and she was. He's expecting it to just be this like pop-up at this apartment, which we've done a couple times. Okay.

So it wasn't that. And I made like a fake website and stuff so that if she went and looked it up, which she did. Smart. And then John was there cooking and he made us food. I mean, she knew it was coming at that point. She did. She knew that and the night was the night. Once she saw John there.

Tonight's the night with Robbie. Yeah. Were you nervous? No. Aw. Because I felt like Jeff was nervous, even though we were already, like, well on our way to... You know, folks. We had been together for a while, and it was just, yeah.

How did you ask? Her sister, I don't have to, like, one of them. I don't remember. You don't remember what you said? I asked her to marry me. Oh. You're like, I know that much. Yeah.

Aw, that's so sweet. And I gave her, it was my grandma's ring that I took the diamond out and reset. Oh, okay. That's really sweet. There was an inscription, or it reminded me my great-grandmas, an inscription in the original band that was like 1903. Oh, my gosh. I love that. I love old rings.

Like Edwardian, that's like that era. It was a pretty ugly setting originally. Really? Was it yellow gold or? I love yellow I do too But it had like really long prongs Oh yes

It was sat really high Yeah That's a pet peeve of mine Because it catches on everything Yeah Well that's very sweet What's your love? Should we take the test for Rob or have you taken it?

I don't know that I did Mine, I think mine's words of affirmation So there's a difference in how you give love And how you receive love So how do you Let's take the quiz Let's take the quiz. Are you pulling it up?

Okay. We're taking the love language quiz. All right. We're going to find out Rachel's now. Yep. Okay. All right. How do you describe yourself?

Are you an adult, a teenager, or you're taking the quiz for your chat? Taking the quiz for my inner chat? No, an adult. It's more meaningful to me when someone I love sends me a loving note, text, email for no special reason, or I hug someone. The first one. It's more meaningful to me when I can spend. alone time with someone I love, just us, or someone I love does something practical to help me out. Ooh, that's tough.

Which one's more meaningful? Which one's more meaningful? Someone does something practical for me? That's your pick? Or just hanging out with the practical thing, probably. Someone I love gives me a gift as a token of our love, or I get to spend uninterrupted leisure time with those I love. Time, probably. I like giving gifts more than receiving gifts.

They do something unexpected for me to help with a project or I share innocent touch with someone I love. Share innocent touch? Like your hand if you're at dinner. I just innocently touched her. You did and she just innocently flinched. They're really tough. Like I don't even know.

I don't know. Can you pick both? Nope. No. You got to just go with your gut. It's which one is more. Do innocent touch. I don't know.

So they put your arm around you, they put their arm around you, or they surprise you with the gift. Arm around. Okay. I'm around someone I love, even if we're not doing anything. Or I can be comfortable holding hands, high-fiving, or putting my arm around someone I love. What? I'm confused by the question. Just being around them.

Just being around them, just do that. Receive a gift, or I hear from someone I love that they love me. Here. Sit close to someone you love or you get complimented for no reason. Hmm. Hmm. I like both of those. It's weird for me because I like, I would say I like the compliment,

but then when I get it, I don't know. I'm comfortable when I get it. Interesting. You have a hard time receiving compliment. Even though I appreciate it. Yeah, right. Like Dax will do that to me at our live shows. Well, he'll drag.

me out on stage and I hate it. Yeah. I've seen it. But also, I appreciate it. Yeah. You like it, but you don't like the attention. Correct. Got it. What was the question? Sit near or receive a compliment? Sit close or compliment for no reason. Just compliment. Let's go with that.

Get the chance to hang out with someone you love or are you small gifts, unexpected small gifts. If there's ever a gift, it's always going to be the opposite answer. So can I take back the gift I got you from my birthday? No, I really love that gift. Did you try it on? I haven't tried. It's been so hot. I can't put it on cashmere.

Yeah, but you've got to just try it on. No, I'm obsessed with it. Okay. All right, you hear someone you love tell you that they're proud of you, or they help you with a task. Proud. You get to do things with someone you love, or you hear supportive words from someone you love.

Supportive words. They do things for you instead of just talking. about doing nice things or you feel connected to someone you love through a hug. First one. Your praise or they give you something that shows you they were thinking of you. Praise me. Praise me. You're able to just be around someone you love or you get a back rub from someone you love.

Oh, I like a back rub. I don't like massages, but I only like it if my partner gives me one. Maybe you don't like Randos touching you. Touching me? Someone you love reacts positively to something you've accomplished or someone you love does something for you that you know they didn't enjoy. The first one. The first one, I know. I love it when people sacrifice for me.

I'm able to be in close physical proximity to someone you love or I sense someone I love I love showing interest in the things I care about. What? You either are in close proximity or they show interest in the sense. The proximity. Care about. It's more meaningful to you when someone you love works on special projects with you that you have to complete or they give you an exciting gift. I mean, they're all this, they're kind of like repetitive. The first one, I guess.

They compliment your appearance or they take the time to listen to you and really understand your feelings. Complement my appearance. A meaningful touch in public or they offer to run errands for you. Touch in public. Does something... Lots of touch in public. Wink, wink, wink. They do something special to help you out

or you get a gift. Oh my God. That they put thought into. No, gifts. I don't want it. I'm taking a gift back. No! You gave me the best. They don't check their phone

while you're talking with one another, or they go out of their way to do something that relieves pressure on you. Not checking their phone is a good thing. I can't promise that I'm not checking my phone. You can look forward to a holiday because you'll probably get a gift from someone you love. Or you hear the words, I appreciate you. I appreciate you.

Jesus Christ. I'm sure there's like a shorter version of this. Are you on the actual website for Love Languages? And those five, five love languages. It's five love languages.com. Okay. Not for love languages. dot-com. Did I say that? No, but that's Rob's joke. You said four love language. No, four.

Five. Five. It's fine. Oh my gosh. See? See? A little snippet. Someone I love and I haven't seen in a while thinks of me enough to give me a little gift. Or they take care of something you're responsible for, but you feel too stressed out to do. Yeah. Sounds delightful. It does. That sounds great. Caitlin, I miss you with all my heart. Someone I love doesn't interrupt me when I'm talking. Dang. There's some heat. Gift giving is an important part of the relationship with someone I love.

I think you're going to get gift giver. Gift receiver. Someone I love helps me out when they know I'm already tired. Or I get to go somewhere while spending time with someone. First one. they touch your arm to show they care or shoulder. They give you a little gift. There's more to these gift ones, but I'm not going to read the whole thing.

No. They say something encouraging to you, or they spend time with a shared activity or hobby. Let's go shared time on this one. Let's mix it up. They surprise you with a small token of their appreciation, i.e. a gift. I.e. a dick. He said small. Oh.

I'm touching someone I love frequently to express our friendship. What? Touch over gift. They help you out. Oh my God. How many more are there? We're almost done. Okay.

Someone I love helps me out, especially if I know they're already busy. I hear someone I love tell me that they appreciate me. I mean, I like both of those. Which one do you like more? What do I like more? Help you out or tell you They appreciate you. I think you enjoy being told that you're appreciated for what you do.

Okay. I also like help. You do. Okay. It's okay. You get a hug from someone. You haven't seen in a while. Or they give, no.

Or I hear someone I love tell me how much they mean to them. Yeah. How much I mean to them. Sure. Second. You are words of affirmation. I know that. But you already know what percentage?

37. And then the other 25% is receiving gifts. Shut up. You're 0% receiving gifts. What is the other percentage? Physical touch 23, quality time, 20, acts of service 20. So you're pretty spread out. I'm all over the fucking.

I'm a hot mess. Oh my God. All right. So let's do this two more times. No, but I do feel, I find that interesting that it's so weird. Like, what you value doing for people isn't what you value getting yourself. Yeah. Isn't that interesting?

So my love language is gifts of service. I mean, gifts of, what is it? Words of affirmation. That's how she likes to receive love. But the way she gives love is probably more gifts. Is that, did you, when you were like a kid, Did you like getting gifts a lot? Getting?

Mm-hmm. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a kid that doesn't like getting gifts? Well, that was the most important thing to you. With someone being... It's never, like, physical...

Like, I don't know that I'm so... I'm totally affectionate in a relationship, but... Not... I don't know. But I'm the weird person. Like, do I have to hug this person goodbye? Like, that weird thing, you know? I think I'm similar.

where I didn't get it a ton as a kid. Yeah. But I'd like it in a relationship. Right. I think probably... My mom was super affectionate. Probably because it was absent, though. Okay.

Mine wasn't. So I don't know what that. It's probably just genetics. That's not my number one thing either. And I feel I'm really affectionate in a relationship, really affectionate with my children, with my mom. But it's not necessarily... Like, Jeff, that's how he wants it.

He wants quality time and physical affection. Whereas I love the words of affirmation and acts of service. Acts of service. I know yours. If he does the dishes for me, I mean, for me as if it's my job, right? But if I come in and he's doing something that helps me, that I take straight to the heart. Yeah, I'm the same. I think I am too.

I'm super affectionate with my kid, though. Super. Yeah. Like incredibly. And I don't really care about gifts that much. Giving or receiving? I like giving people gifts. I don't like giving people gifts as much as you guys do.

Like I'm not as thoughtful. You know what I mean? Like I don't put as much. No, like, Ross is a really thoughtful gift giver. I think I'm a really thoughtful gift giver. I love to do it. I typically like to get people gifts that I would want for myself that I wouldn't get. Right.

How are you at receiving gifts? Great. I'm awkward with receiving gifts. I just buy most of the things I want. Right. I remember one year, it was a few years into Natalie and I dating, and she bought me a laptop. Yeah. And it was probably like one of the better gifts I've ever gotten at the time.

But my response was why did you buy this for me? Right. Because it was more practical. Like, you didn't need to spend that much on me. That's how I am, too. I'll do that to my mom. I'm like, Mom, I don't want you spending this money on something I know that I'm not going to... Well, I mean, I used it.

It was like... Right. But it was also... I don't want to be... Yeah. I don't want to be rude or sound ungrateful or unappreciative. It's just practically, it's like, well, don't spend your money on this. I'd rather you do something for yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. With Jeff, I put a lot of thought usually into what I'm going to get. him for his gifts. I like to get him things that I know he values. Like, he likes things that will change his life. He could care less about gadgets or clothes or anything like that. But if I get him a surfboard, because he always said he wanted to surf or if I get him like taekwondo lessons, like things I've heard him say he wants to do. If I do those things for him, what, the singing lessons? Jeff gets her the same gift every year. Singing lessons.

Have they happened yet? And then he gets me like masterclass. He gets me gifts the way I get him gifts. Yeah. But what he doesn't get is that our values are different. And I try and explain, show me the money. Just give me the money. Yeah.

And let me buy what I want. Right. Do you think it says anything if someone's bad at getting gifts? Wrong ring, wrong guy. Oh. I got the right wing. What was that mean? It's just an expression.

It's an expression. It's an expression. like when Carrie gets proposed to by Aiden and hates the ring, and they're like, wrong ring, wrong guy. Anyway, that's just kind of a general. Yeah, it says you're not paying attention, I feel like. Yeah. I feel like it's a signal. Sometimes you can get gifts that make you feel like, do you even know me?

You know, which can sometimes be a little hurtful depending on who it's coming from, I guess. Yeah. And then there's some gifts that you're like, oh, wow. I wouldn't have thought of that. But I love that. Yeah, like I remember when I had Shepard, my son, and someone got me sweatpants. And I was like, Verney got me like sweatpants. And I was like, oh, that feels so good.

And then you got me these like lavender slipper things for my feet. Oh, like lavender aroma therapy. Yeah. It was so, it wasn't just your classic let's send soup. They had a baby. like more of like what's going to make her feel really good right now. You know what, Varnique, after my baby, sent me a whole thing of cookies, and it was the best thing I've ever received.

Speaking of which, what did we send you guys when Vincent was born? Donut friend. And we got gifts, too. I went to, where did I go? Daughter. Yeah. We sent donuts, but we also got gifts. Anyways.

I love fresh flowers, though. I love fresh flowers. If you get them for the right place. Yeah. From the right place, it could be gorgeous. There's something really beautiful about, you know, fresh flowers. Like, who did my flowers brand? What fox?

She does beautiful flowers. Yeah, when you had those arrangements done, those were gorgeous. This is where I normally seen flowers. I think I would want to be a florist. With Hazen, have you heard of this one? No, is good. No, it looks really pretty. I love good flowers.

I think I want to be. I think when I took the test in high school on what occupation you're going to be, my answer came back, I could see that. Yeah. Well, you're good with that kind of stuff. I love like organizing, but like charcuturries. Like if I could just do that for my job is just make charcutory platters, do you know how happy my life would be? Why don't people like carnations? Like, what is the whole thing? They're just not, they're just very, I don't know, they're just too accessible maybe. But, but it's still a flower. And it's, I feel bad. I feel like we should make a like stand. You're like, why are you shitting on

carnations? Yeah. Why do people shit on carnations? Giving someone dandelions? What's wrong with dandelions? Dandelions are pretty. Aren't they weeds, though? Yes. But that's what I'm saying. It's probably just how plentiful they are.

It's because they're cheap. Mm-hmm. And people are assigning value to it. Yeah, and that's annoying, because if you look at a carnation and you smell it and stuff, it's a sweet little flower. I'm only going to get you carnations. Please do. It'd be so much cheaper than that.

I'm serious. I want to make a movement to bring back the carnation. and like starting the movement right here right now, guys. Do you not get what I mean? I don't love carnations just because I don't think they're in the, like, my personal favorite of flower. What are your favorites? I love, I love lilies of the valley. Okay.

They're like little white bells. They're very pretty. I used to love peonies. They're not my favorite anymore. I love peonies. They're pretty. Pannies? Peonies.

I love peonies. What's your favorite flower? I don't think I have a favorite one. Natalie likes Dahlia's. Dahlia's are beautiful. I love us. It sounds like our wedding flowers. Aw. Yeah, I don't know.

Jeff loves sunflowers. He always gets sunflowers. I know. It's like, it's a funny flower. It is a funny flower to love for him. Uh-huh. But doesn't it nail it for him? Yes, it really does.

I love daisies. I love. daisies. I think I like the more wild-looking I love wildflowers. Yeah. With like the foliage

Oh, it's so pretty. Yeah, I'm the same. Make it woodland, make it rustic. I'm a fan. Not just a bunch of rose stalks. Yeah. No. I do like roses, so I love

white roses. Mm-hmm. And yellow. You love yellow. Love yellow. Yellow's friendship rose. Mm-hmm. Red is love.

Okay, we should probably wrap it up. We've been talking for a very long time. We've had a lovely conversation here in the broad box. You guys aren't axing that. Are we keeping that? I'm fine with it. Because, like, you know, it has double meaning. Oh, I get it.

Yeah, we get it. No, I don't think you understand. This is the introduction to it, though, right? Or did you caption something with it? I captioned just what, but this is the end of actually saying it. But I feel like it's appropriate. The broad box. Yeah.

And you think vaginal. think works for this show. Totally. Yeah. And it's broad, yeah. Yeah. I get it. I think she keeps looking at me like I don't get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. Box. Oh. Thanks for coming in our broad box. Oh. She nailed it. I know, but I didn't even intend for it to be that. We call those strokes a genius.

Freudian slips. Oh my gosh. Right. We're just going to say bye now. Bye.