Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Emily Deschanel and Carla Gallo on meeting on Bones, Synchronized Swimming, and Medical Mysteries

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Emily Deschanel (Bones, Animal Kingdom) and Carla Gallo (Neighbors, Platonic) join Rachel and Olivia today where they discuss their new podcast, Boneheads which is a Bones rewatch, their love for synchronized swimming, crazy medical mysteries and so much more. Please check out Emily and Cara’s new podcast, Boneheads, produced by Lemonada Media and link: https://lemonada.lnk.to/BoneheadsPR. Broad Ideas is sponsored by Article. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more, visit ARTICLE.COM/BROAD and the discount will be automatically applied at checkoutBroad Ideas is sponsored by Quince, Go to quince.com/ideas for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas. Hello, Rob and Olivia. Hello.

Hello, Rachel. Rachel. Today, you guys, Emily Dishanel and Carla Gallo from Boneheads. Their Bones Rewatch Podcasts join us. The Bones Rewatch podcast join us? The Boneheads, their Bones Rewatch podcast. We got two boneheads on the podcast today. Four.

Three. Yeah, true. Or let's bring them on in. Sometimes when the way inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings.

We'll talk about boys that a meet. because people die. It's kind of crazy to go back and watch yourself that many years ago. Yeah. It's insane. How is it feeling? It's feeling good.

It's fun to do with Carla. I mean, we just have, you know, we're friends. Yeah, we're friends. So I was like, what are you going to say? No, what are you going to say? We're friends and she's never watched the show until she came up because she didn't come on until season four. Right.

And then I recurred. So I was like in and out. Yeah. I haven't seen any of these episodes. So it's like kind of weird. Because then some of it's plot stuff, like I'll be like, oh, it's crazy. I actually really thought that was the killer. You know, so I'm just like a fan watching it.

Yeah. And then I also, it's very funny for me. Like, because I also met her at the show. Okay. So I kind of met professional Emily. Yeah. And then once it was over, I met like real Emily. We met the real.

Yeah. Which are very different. I mean, some similarities, but very different. Wait, that's so interesting. Yeah. I want to hear about that. Yeah. What's the different?

I want to know both families. I'm very serious. Oh, my gosh. Very friendly, very welcoming, very, like, really, you know, thoughtful and championing. Like, everyone, like, you know, I had a thing where people thought it was my fault that I had booked something else and I wasn't available and they had to change things. And so it's, this is a total side story. I can't. I barely remember this.

Yeah. It's kind of ringing a bell when you say that. She's very moral. She's very moral person. And so she was like, oh. in the makeup and hair trailer one day, and she's like, hey, you know, like I know that this thing happened

where you book this job. You know, whatever it was, she said it in the way that was like whatever else was saying. And I was like, actually, like I wasn't pinned for this at all. And I got a job. And then they came to me

and assumed that they could have me. And she was like, oh, that's not what they're saying. And she called the producers. Oh, yes. And she was like, I just need you to know. And it didn't change it. Like, it just was. Well, it changes how people are seeing what happened.

So, I mean, that doesn't explain how she wasn't at work. It does, but it doesn't. But how she wasn't work was like working on her lines constantly, super, like, friendly, but super focused. Like, there wasn't, I remember watching her text, her friends, and I would be like, that's good. She's maintaining friendships. She's maintaining, because she had, she was so, like, this, like, steam train that just was going. And then when the show ended, she would be like, hey, happy breakfast.

And I'd be like, how did you know his main birthday? Like, she just was like a normal person. I was like, well, yeah, we're friends. And I was like, I thought I had to stick up my butt. You had to. I mean, you know. Like, you would say, you would say. Because, like, I mean, and I say it.

Like, we also, like, we're so trained on, like, how. Oh, that. Like, the, you know, the forensics. Oh, yeah. We had, like, these dead bys and we're like, you know, we're training, like, you have your gloves on and you do this. And then if you touch anything else, you have to take those gloves off and put another So she would correct people. So I would go around correcting everybody about.

Yeah, she'd be like, you actually touch the microphone and then you actually put your hand on the pillow. And I'd be like, okay. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But like, no, no, no, I was like, it's a TV show. But there was another part of me that was like, I agree. I was like, you know what? We're selling, we're going to sell?

We're selling real. Yeah. I needed you, Emily, like I did a show where I played a doctor and we had a med tech on set. Okay. And they do it. The pilot go, whatever. It's on. I'm watching TV.

And I take my gloves off, like, how you are not supposed to take gloves off as a doctor. And I had a med. I had a doctor in the rear. Supervising. They signed off on that. And I'm literally like, thong, don't, you know. Yeah. It takes time, though, too.

Like, you have to peel it, see. It takes, like, you're supposed to touch the outside with one finger and pull it off. And then you take your hand that's going to go through the other hand. Look, she knows. This is what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. I know. I'm not surprised.

Putting them on and taking them off, it, like, became. It's one of my... We spent a lot of your skills. We spent a lot of time putting on and taking... That was a big... Yeah. And the number of gloves

that we went through on that show. Oh, yeah. It was very wasteful. Very wasteful. Wait, but how much fun... First of all, that show, 12 season? Yeah, 12 seasons.

That is so many seasons. So many seasons. It's a lot of seasons. It's a lot of season. Four. Oh, what? Yeah. Four.

Wait, that was such a, like, impactful show. Four seasons. in the zeit guys. Like, it was so there and influential. Like, that's crazy. Bals was, like, skating by, like,

just like, people watch it, but it wasn't, like, in the, like, talked about, it wasn't talked about, it wasn't talked about, I mean, eventually it would be, like, in other shows,

people would mention her stuff, but it wasn't like, I feel like those C was much more influential. They were wearing bikini tops. That's the difference. We didn't have gloves. You know what I mean?

Right. Well, you think that would last a long time. I would keep it going for, along. Yeah. No, but that's, you'll be on a show for that many seasons,

though, and the amount of work you had to do, the amount of scenes you're, like everything. Yeah. That just sounds like a lot. I like that you kept it serious, though,

that you weren't just like, oh, fuck it. Like, I've been doing this so long. Oh, yeah. I like that you, I like it when people take their job seriously. Yeah.

I find that really inspiring because it's like you still care after that long. Maybe you didn't. I don't know. No, I did. the whole time. I don't care about. I mean, I was a hostess in a restaurant in New York, and I took that job very seriously. I was working up to become management in a restaurant. Like, I had no interest in this. But I can't, like, if I'm doing a job, I, like, I have to, I mean, this was a simple, it wasn't that hard, but we had to have, like, our menus all be in the right place. It was amazing how many people did not care or care at all. I'm like, well, if you're doing the job, you got to care.

Right. You gotta care. What sign are you? Libra. Oh, me too. Are you? Yeah, when's your birthday? October 11th. I'm the 14th.

Oh, we're ready. You guys have birthdays coming up. Yeah, you do. We have to know your birthday. Yeah, we do. June 24th. Okay. Is that a Gemina?

Cancer. Oh, it's cancer. I don't know anything about cancer. I don't know. Everyone says like homebody, right? Sensitive. Are you sensitive? Like, sort of.

I'm like tough because of a sensitive. That's what I mean. Like one of those. Like I'm very tough. But then the truth is, is that I'm fragile. Protecting it. I don't think of you is, like, sensitive or fragile. I feel like, I think you're tough.

Yeah, my husband says I'm a Brooklyn Italian. I mean, I am a Brooklyn Italian. But he's like, she's a Brooklyn Italian. Listen, she's a Brooklyn Italian. He likes to say that a lot. And I'm like, I have a Brooklyn Italian. But I think I'm the person who's like, like, I keep saying, I didn't really watch much of the Olympics,

but I kept, like, I would get fed, like, clips of, like, synchronized swimming. And it just kind of came up. And I was like, oh, my, it's so beautiful. Like, I was so beautiful. Like, it was a clip. Like, I hadn't even, like, really stayed with these women as they were doing it. They know the backstory.

Didn't know what. I'm going to be honest. I didn't even know what country. Like, like, there was no investment. I just won't really, like, touch. I wish you were like, I saw Reagan and I was like, really. No. No, I didn't.

That was amazing. Yeah, that was good. That's moving. I didn't even see it. Like, all I saw was like the memes. I just saw the clip. Yeah, I saw the clips or the memes or whatever. And I saw she apologized or something.

She apologized? She apologized? Why was she apologizing? Why did she apologized? I know. I thought so too. Yeah, that was her own expression, which was a little different. It was a little different.

It got rid of break dancing forever. Forever. But it was just like her. Is it official? Are they like, did they get rid of it? That's what they said. They might have to fact check that, but like I feel like it's gone now. Yeah.

That's really bad. Like if you go down as the person who got a category eliminated. Whoa. I think there was other elements. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. They were like, this doesn't work.

I think they were like, this isn't happening, which is really tragic because then it's going to be in Los Angeles. We're breakdancing kind of pop-down. Well, I feel like people from Los Angeles or the United States still could go to the Olympics no matter where it is. They can, but I'm saying it would be great. Because L.A. is like. Yeah. It's more tragic if you don't have it. It's New York.

Probably in New York, it probably found. It's okay. You are the New Yorkers. New York. New York. New York wasn't just in a country work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going country. Large country that it started in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's sad for all the kids that they're like we have. We can actually make it to the only way. I know.

Well, maybe not so much. Well, I didn't feel any emotion watching. Watching Megan. Okay. To be clear. You guys, you're like, just to follow up. I miss the synchrono swimming. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful. It's really. It's really. It's really. And I think it's so hard. And I think that's why I was just like the effort that's going into like I'm always just amazed by how much effort People I know I don't know how they do that because like think of it doing it on your own But they have to do it together right and like be perfect

Yeah Yeah like in sync because they had cameras where you could see them underwater and above and it was like they were all doing all the things Like all the movements underwater were all like not just what you see about Not just about everything under yes but what do you think happens in their childhood where they're like that's it. They tell the stories. This is my thing. Synchronized swimming.

Like that is my goal. But don't you even wonder how that happens for. Are they swimmers to start with? Right. And they're like, but I want to dance. But I also want to. Right. But I also do dance.

Well, it's not an interesting anecdote, so I hesitate to share it. My niece is. A synchronized swimmer? Yeah. Mark's. I mean, it's Mark's niece. Not your sister's daughter. No.

So my marks and my husband's knees is like on like a synchro team. Yeah. And really? She just, I think she was swimming. I think she was taking. So you actually know how it goes down. I mean, I'm like, but the truth is. But the truth is the end of that story is just like, she likes it.

Like it's not like, she was really into like team sports where everyone could like rely on each other. Like there's none. I don't even have that for you. She's into swimming, but she couldn't do the long distance. No, I have nothing. She was more, and she also have dance. No, no, no. She just was like, I like this.

Okay. Yeah, I get that. Makes sense, though. She likes it. Yeah. Sometimes you're born with it. Yeah, I mean, obviously it's just, yeah, I guess it's, yeah. Like, why does somebody like gymnastics?

That's like Emily taking off her gloves. She's like, I like this. Yeah. And I'm good at it. And you're good at it a million times. Probably a million times. I'm sure. I mean, 200 whatever episodes.

I mean, Where are you guys at? Like I know... Maybe 1,000. You're currently watching it. Where are you? So we did 10 episodes so far and then we've had guests. Yeah.

Right. So we've done, I think, up to episode 10 so far. Right. But we like, we started over a year ago because we, that's when we were starting. And then we were supposed to... Because that's just when we started. And then we were supposed to drive. As the kids say, I don't know.

I don't know. No, you drop. You drop? You drop? Yeah. Okay. You're supposed to drop last year when the sag strike. Like literally the day.

Like the day. The sag strike happened. And we had no idea that it would have any, it would be in any violation of sag rules in any way. It's a show that had been off air for six years. Yeah. Like you couldn't promote it because you weren't allowed to talk about anything. But it's like a show that was from so long ago, but it's still promoting struck work. But it was like how was it struck?

Because, you know what I mean? I mean, it would... It's not current work. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't conceptualize that at all. And we were shocked and the lawyer was like talking to SAG and then like last minute we had to not drop. Drop out of dropping.

Hold. We had to hold. Hold. We held it for a year. Yeah. Yeah. Now partner with Lemonada now. Yeah.

Lemonada media kind of helps us and then they're helping. Yeah, they're like, they're helping us like, revamp it a little bit. Got it. It was a little amorphous. It was raw. It was raw. Yeah. A little raw. So we're getting, it was amorphous and now it's getting shape.

Yeah, it's getting shape. Which is great. And feeling good and we're, I don't know, it's funny to put that much time into something and then like nobody ever hears it. You know, it started to feel crazy. Yeah. People like, now when I say it to people, I'll be like, we'll have to do anew further.

The podcast. Because people are like, this, you have been talking about this podcast. Because truthfully, the idea started three years ago. I was like, we're going to do a podcast. And that was literally before the pandemic, I think. Before the pandemic. I think. I mean, do you want to reenact the phone call? Yeah, please. Oh, yeah. We like to do this sometimes. Yeah. Well, but, and this is, this is just giving you insight into me as a person. We want it all. Okay. Hey, Carla. Hey, how are you? Would you be interested in doing it? I am like, I'll do it anything. I'll do it. I'll do it.

She was very gay. Yeah. Aw. Wait. But, oh, I feel like I was going to say something about that. No, I've just stopped the conversation. What? How long and me being embarrassed to.

Oh, no. Oh. Your character. Can we say that? What? Your character on Platonic? Yeah. Yeah.

Apple TV. Apple TV. Season two. Season two. I'm filming right now. Who knows when it's coming out? No, nobody knows. Can you say that about your character on the show?

Can I say what thing? What thing? The character out of the porn cat? Oh, gosh. Oh, I was like, is someone drinking something? Oh, okay, sorry. Oh, yeah, the mics don't pick it up, but it's hard for us to be like, but isn't that there's gruegling? I thought somewhere underwater.

We're synchronized swimming. I was noticing you guys together and I was like, so this is synchronized swimming. That's what it's like when you have that. Yeah, because you have that. I mean, coming from you guys. I know. I mean, we've become one. We are like, we are literally.

We actually showed up in the same jacket. Yeah, I'm sitting on it. Yeah. We share a brain. That's part of why I asked you what you're wearing. Oh. I almost wore, we have the same shirt. And I was like, if we show up in the same shirt, it's just too much.

Yeah. And even if we say we didn't do it on purpose, it looks like we did on purpose and we're lying. Yeah. So I was like, I have to. It's a good thing we did not show up in that. Well, I got your text late and I didn't take that shirt. Yeah. But I got your text late about what you were.

I know that probably texted you when you were already gone. I think I was. I didn't see the phone. I was driving. No, no. That's okay. Don't you want to know what the shirt is? Yeah, absolutely.

Like what kind of shirt is it? It's the dumb. Floral. Mine is a short puppy. We did on real real. I mean, I don't want me to be a promote, you know, but we love to be on real. And so you have the three quarter, though, and I have that little puppy hats. I have a little shorts.

I didn't realize that's what you have. Yeah. That's a moment for you two, a little picture. Oh, that's true. Of us both wearing it. Yeah. We should do that. We should wear it together.

Yeah. Well, didn't I suggest. dress we wear that for when we went to dinner? Oh to dinner yeah something no no no you like to go to dinner as a foursome with two other friends like one of my best friends is best friends with one of her best friends yeah oh that sounds cute like a double day. And then we'd be like she'd be like oh they're hanging out together. I'm like we're jealous of them hanging out together. Yeah yeah yeah. They'd be hanging out but yeah so then now we just have dinner. We do lady dinners which is nice. That's really nice. I've not really done that before.

I feel like there are people who will be like, my group of girls. And I'm like, I've never had that. I'll have like this friend and this friend and they know each other and they, when we're all at something they talk, and they never talk otherwise. Like that. Yes, there's a middle friend. Yeah, but this is like where we're like, well, wait, are you and she, and we're like keeping tabs on each other. You know, you guys are so tight and me and Clea are so tight.

Yeah. And I'm not, but I have hung out with Clea like once or twice. I've also hung out with Melanie. Which is like, I was going to say like, oh, I don't hang out. Melanie Linsky. Melanie Linsky Cleo Duvall. That's just so everyone felt like, who are they talking about? I just went to eat at Stan Lee's yesterday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That used to be fabs in the valley. Yeah. And that was my first job at 16. And Cleo worked there. No. No. Oh, yes.

No. Fab. Do you remember fabs? So she lived right near there and we would go get fabs. And she'd be like, I used to work here. And she would have, we would go eat there. We would get to go from there. Like chicken par.

all the time. And the chopped salad. Tell me you got the chopped salad. It was the best ever. Isn't the place where Clea and Melanie you met? Not the coffee shop. That's Buzz. That was a coffee or coffee something something in a sunset.

That's crazy. Wait, so you worked there? I worked there. I think we both worked there for one week together and then she moved on and got like a movie. A movie. And they would put like newspaper clippings. It was like they. Wait, how funny is that.

I know. And I just was there yesterday being like, this used to be fabs. It's not anymore. No, it's Stanley's, which is great. Okay, okay, okay. It's not fabs. No. It's a restaurant.

It's a restaurant. It was a restaurant. Fabs was in Italian. Fabs was Italian. Yeah. But I hadn't thought of it in like 20 years and I went yesterday and then you just brought her up. That's crazy. See?

That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Synchronicity. I know. I love synchronicity. Yeah. Yeah.

That is so funny. That is so funny. I'll mention these. Yeah. I'll mention them. Yeah. She'll know. She won't know who I am. No?

No, because she was a big star. Like, it was like fabs. You'd go in and they'd be like, you know Clea Devald worked here. And I'd be like, oh, no, it was a thing. So you didn't overlap at all? I think like a week. And then she booked. What was the big book?

It was like. I know there was one that was the big. It was one of those like, no. Was it like Can't Heartley Wade? Yeah, it was like something. She's all that. I'm just named it. It's one of those.

It was something cute. It's one of those and I can't retain it because they're... Ten things I hate about. I'm just naming things. I used to think one of those. One day they're going to be putting my newspaper clippings on these. They never did. I have the same.

I have the same experience. So I grew up in Brooklyn and Mark Slope and there's this pizza place that's been there since I was a kid. And we would all go there after school and I keep naming actress friends of mine. But my other best friend is Sarah Paulson. So we went to the same. middle school together, left that school and went to the same high school together in Manhattan. But so everybody went to Roma pizza after school. It was like two blocks away. It's still there, even though that neighborhood's changed so much. And they always had pictures up on the wall.

But it was like, Danny DeVito, you know, I'm telling you guys. And then, of course, one day, Sarah's picture ends up on the wall. And I like, this is later, later, later, later, like, my family still lives there. Her family for a long time hasn't. And I was like, I'm going, my god, you're on the wall, whatever. And I don't actually remember what the response was. She might have been like, yeah, I know. Or they, someone told me or like maybe she went in. And I was just there this summer.

And like, we often sit, like, right where her picture is. Yeah. And there is a part of me that's like, cool. Yeah, must be nice. Yeah. Because I still live here. And then I think my daughter was like, do you want me to tell them? I want your picture there.

An actress? I was like, no. But I could tell them. Yeah. You're an actress and then you could put your picture. But I was like, those? No.

Can you imagine if they were like, um, we're good. No thing. We're good. Yeah. Yeah. No.

Our wall is. It's full. It's full. It's full. It's, but I see that there's a spot up there. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. That's amazing. It's like the friend's episode where Joey wants his picture in the dry cleaning. Oh, yes. That sounds vaguely familiar. Yes. I don't know that. I think he ended up on it.

Didn't he or he like was really upset. I forget, but I think someone slept with the dry cleaner owner's wife. To get the picture? Yeah, to get it up. Oh, my God. Something like that. Yeah. I know.

I'm just going back. I'm like looking at anyone. No, they don't know. Yeah, anyone remember? Someone up there not. Someone's watched every episode. I think a lot of people know.

A lot of people are listening or watching and being like, yeah. Yeah, they're like, I know. I know exactly what happened. Someone did sleep with someone. Someone did definitely stop with someone on that show to gain something. She wasn't getting it by his own. own merit. No.

Yeah. Getting that big group. Absolutely not. Bride Ideas is supported by Article. I can't tell you how much I love Article. Not only do things come so fast, they are all so stylish and fit into my home perfectly, and I love the price point. I still have my favorite desk from Article.

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Quince.com slash ideas. So Ian Tointon was Bones. So he came from the O-C. I had to bring that up. Until you said that. Yes. I totally forgot that he worked on this. I know.

Love him. Wait. He was our producing director on the O-C and then he went on to Bones. And he was there for so many years. For so many years. Yeah. And I saw him recently.

You did? And I did. And he's just the same. I know. I know I saw him. I think I saw. I mean, I feel like I saw him at a funeral. That's where I see people.

Yes. Oh, shit. It's, yeah. Like, you work with people. You know, like, get crew. Yeah. There's been a few. Quite a few.

Really? Funerals. Uncle Hershey. Yeah. He was a driver. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah. But anyways, I know. I know.

I know. Love Ian Toington. I totally forgot that he worked on the O.C. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. He worked on the show for many, many years. Maybe from season... It was in season two or three he started.

I was going to say he was there, I think, when I... Almost until the end, the last two seasons was someone else. He left. He's like, basically like... He was in my... My health doesn't want this pressure. This is like too much stress for me right now. Yeah.

I auditioned. He was in my audition. Like, he was the guy. Yeah, he oversaw the directing of all the shows. I'm sure if you saw him, you'd be like, oh. Anyway, he's always around in my brain. I mean, I assume he also had a white beard when he worked on the O.C. as well. He's always looked exactly as that. Even seeing him like a few months ago still looks exactly the same. No, he's like Steve Martin, where that person's never not had white hair. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. But he was great. He is great. But he was great. But he was great working with on the show.

So, like, it's forensics, whatever, like, how... Because it sounds like, we love all that kind of stuff, right? So if you're working on it and you're doing these cases, like, did you get into it? Like, in your real life where you're like, I can solve anything. Like, I'm going to watch every... Like, did you feel like... She has a story. I mean...

Oh, you have a story? Wait, what? Well, unless you know what to share it. No, you want to share it. No, I'm at the bones. Yeah. I just... The bones.

The bones. Well, okay. Okay. I'll just talk general and then I'll tell that story. Okay. Okay. I don't feel like I could solve a crime. For sure, I couldn't, but I feel like I knew about like the, like the skeletal system.

I, you know, you know, I feel savvy. I would hope so after. When my kids break something like, it's a buckle fracture on the radius, I'm pretty sure. And it was. Well, that's because he had the same fracture on the other arm years before. But so I feel like that was said with so much swag. Right? Yeah.

I know what it is. Don't worry about it. We don't need to be a doctor. We got, just give them a cast. Just give them a cast or brace. We're good. But yeah, I felt like I learned a lot about that. I never felt like I could solve a crime.

I wouldn't say, but I was always interested in forensic stuff before I got the show. Like, I remember a friend saying, like, oh, my God, that must be your dream job. Right. It was. I think, like, over time, sometimes I wasn't, like, sometimes you're not as interest in watching something like that when you're doing that. For sure. And you get desensitized to the disgusting bodies that we dealt with. Disgusting.

Ugh. But my friend sent me a picture of bones. Is that what we're talking about? Yes. Yes. My friend Carmen sent me a picture of bones. That she had found? No.

Okay. A friend of hers. Okay. Who now it was like, we'll like just drop everybody. I know. We keep dropping. Go ahead. You're fine.

Yes. You're fine. The people who created stranger things. Oh, okay. You know. They found bones. while digging up for something. I don't know if it was for their office

or for a house or something like that. Oh, okay. Like, putting in a hole. Like, are these human? Yeah. Oh, wow. And I was, I had no idea because I'm not that good. But the fact that it was,

animal bones look very similar sometimes to, and I have no, I was like, can someone put like a foot in there or like a ruler to give some scale to? But I love that Carmen, like, Duffer brothers are like, Carmen. To Carmen wrote to them 100%, she'll be able to tell you. She had such confidence in you. But what I do have is Kathy Rikes, who was the author of the books and is a forensic anthropologist herself.

So the show Bones was based on the books that she wrote where she had character in Temperance Brenner, which is my character name. But the show is not just based on her books because it's very, it's different. in a lot of ways from her books, but you have the temperance brand and character, but it's also based on her life. So, like, the rights to this documentary about her and the right to one of her books or something, I don't know, it's complicated.

Have her on speed dial, texted her the photos, and immediately was like, Animal. Oh. So I may not be able to solve something like that, but you got the number, yeah. Yeah. But you got a guy.

I got a gal. I got a gal. You got a gal. She's great. It's a pretty fun one to have on, like, speed dial. Like, literally, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, but I love that that's the route they took instead of like the pleas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, I found, like, we found, like, I know. Let's ask Emily. Yeah. What's so funny is they knew she was friends with me and they thought. So they asked her to ask you? I think so. That's hilarious.

They're like, can Emily solve this? And she was like, 100%. 100% she can solve it. Can you get the picture on the wall? I bet that picture of those. No, I want your picture on the wall at the pizza place. Oh, okay.

I thought even know. Can they do it? Definitely get the picture on the pizza. She would definitely, they would be like, oh my God. Can I put you a picture? Get a bones poster for her office. Oh my God. I'm sure that's what they want.

That is what they want. For sure. That is hilarious. See, I just, I always find like, you know, the skill sets you gain like you're saying, like the gloves, maybe identifying bones. I'm for sure convinced that I can diagnose people because I played a doctor and barely

Can you? You know, I have I'm kind of impressed where I'll be like, I have trigeminal neuralia and they're like, you do have tried gel. And I'm like, I didn't even know those words exist. What is that even? It's like this weird nerve thing in my face

and I was convinced and I just like did some, you know, you just like, and I'm like, I played a doctor. I know these things. Yeah. Yeah, you know. And I'm just convinced. Do you like those medical? Mysteries, like New York Times Magazine.

I don't do those. Oh, I love them. Really? Love them. Wait, but are they ever, like, are they solved? Yeah. Okay. So only once in a while in New York Times, and we get the New York Times, like, the actual paper on the Sundays. We got LA Times as well. But the magazine is my favorite because they have the ethicist and they answer, like, ethical questions. Oh, I bet you love that. I love it so much. You're like, let me weigh in on them. Is it ethical to have a dog in a restaurant? Like, it'll be something like that. I like that.

Every few weeks, not all the time. It's a real special treat, but they'll have a medical mystery. And then the person doesn't have a television show. I don't remember what it was called where she had a TV show where she did the same thing. Where people had medical mysteries that they couldn't be solved. So wait, how does it get salt? And then they get solved. Yeah, like it's like or in the crowdsourcing.

She would do crowdsourcing for the TV show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She would put it out there to all these doctors and scientists in the world and say, what do you think this could be? And people would throw out different ideas. And then she'd narrow it down. And sometimes it was interesting where it seemed like it was probably this one thing and people wouldn't want to get treatment for it. Really?

I don't know if there were a vote. Like there was a couple episodes where I was like, this is probably what it is. And I don't know if it was because the treatment was uncomfortable. Are they just like really in their? in their mind were like, no, that's not it. That's not it. But in the Times Magazine, like, do they, like, you read it, and then they give you the answer of what it is right after, like, medical mystery.

It's just two pages. Okay. It's real quick. I don't have time. Okay, okay. We can read the newspaper, you know, with the kids. I mean, I'm watching clips of synchronized swimming. Like, I don't even.

Yeah. No, I can't. No, absolutely not. I have Instagram clips of everything going on in the world. Is that how I get my job. Me too. Yeah. Yeah.

It's totally that. Great source. Yeah. For facts. But anytime there's any kind of like, yeah, exactly, any kind of fact. Sometimes they have good things. Sometimes they do. I would never know this without that.

No, but then there's the things like, I didn't even know that existed. And now I'm totally paranoid and have anxiety because this is going to happen. So it goes both ways. And I'm like, I can't. Like now I know I have this weird nerve thing. Right. Right. Oh, yeah.

No, totally. Or now I know you can die in this. really freak, tragic kind of way and you have children and you don't want to let them out of the house. Like it's just, yeah, that's not fun. Too much information. And when you have old enough kids, they'll look that up on their own. See, so. Someone got decapitated

on that roller coaster and like, where did you find that? Oh my God. How old are they now? I almost 13 and 9. Oh. My daughter's 9. Oh. She's almost 10. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, nine a few months ago. Yeah. I almost have a teenager.

That's crazy. Well, you have this, oh, because 13, he's just about to turn 13. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's different. How is it? How old are your kids? Eight and five.

Is that true? He's almost nine to nine. Yeah, almost nine and yeah. Oh, they're close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like cousins. They're like family members. Oh, ours.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, your children are like cousins. Yeah. I was like, should we talk about that?

Yeah. Like, is everything okay? I was like, wait, but they're like, but they're cousins. No, they're real brothers. Yeah. I'm not that. I didn't know that then. That's amazing.

If they treated each other like cousins. Yeah. Ooh, my life would be easier. Oh, to me? Oh, that their children were actually

cousins. And then they, you know, I don't know. I mean, that's a whole other. We could be all of that. That is a whole.

You could be a lot. There's a lot. Oh, we could. And she always says, like, if anything happens to her, I do need to take over

for her husband and family in every way. Of course. Wait, for her husband. You agree? No, for her. No, I totally. You feel that?

Because everyone thinks that's psychotic. What do you mean? Wait, what's psychotic about it? That if anything happens that Rachel has to take over the duties of like the household duty, like be your husband, be your partner. Yeah. Yes. No,

thank you her husband. Oh, to you. Oh. I thought it was the other way around. I thought it was if your husband dies that she has. I'm like, I'm like Clea is always like, you know I'll raise those children with you. And I'm like, yeah, you will raise those children with me. Oh, I see the other way.

I'm saying I'm gone. Interesting. You're gone. You have to take over as the wife and the mom. Would your husband do that? Part of it is a little weird. Totally weird. Totally.

But that's why I bring it up. Oh, okay. No, because here's the thing. No, all the things. I read it to be all the things? Yeah. Like, all the things? Yes, she'd have to be the wife.

I don't know about that. No. Yeah, that's weird. But here's why I like it. The mom thing is good. No, my husband and I've told him he is not allowed to ever. Remarry, marry? We may have another.

But he's going to. Never ever going. want to deal with another woman? But you would. And here's my point. Okay. Yeah. If you were to be gone, right?

They're going to move on. Like to his life. I want someone in the home that is going to keep my legacy alive. Yeah. My picture still on the wall. I want them to hear the stories, feel loved and nurtured and cared for. Yeah. And to keep me alive.

And to keep like the. Like the love there. Why do you also want him to have sex with Rachel? Because it's natural. Because otherwise he's going to have sex with someone else that's going to be. Who come in and infiltrate you. Yeah. She knows that I won't care.

Yeah. She'll make. I'll be like, fine. You know, she's a really good cook. Like she's a really good, she's a really good nurture. She's getting all of her boys set up. You know what I say? Yeah.

I want the best for my best. for my boys. I think my question is, what does your husband say about this? I mean, what would he, like, what would your husband say if I said I'm going to give him, Rachel? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Absolutely. I feel very flattered or maybe offended or flattered. I don't really know which one, but it's great. I like this. This is interesting. I know it is saying the whole thing. I mean, I like that you've gone there.

Yeah. She knows there. I love them so much. She'll sit with her husband and she will like roll call every friend and be like which one is the most attractive? Like she will grow up about everything. Oh my God. Who do you think is?

You've never played this? Never? Ever? We don't play. No. No. No. No.

She loves all of those. I don't want to, no. You're probably a very, a very secure person. Maybe a little bad. I don't need. No. Like, no, I don't need him to tell me. No, you can find people attractive.

I just don't need to talk to you about. I don't even. I don't know. I assume. I can find people attractive. I don't think. Yeah. But also, right.

I don't think we need to do that thing. No. You don't want to open it up because then, yeah, in the reverse, you don't want to do it. I'm like, you don't think she's beautiful? Like, that's offensive. My friend is gorgeous. Why would you not? Yeah, like when he doesn't, I'm like, that's weird.

He is the most honest. He is the most honest person I've ever met. Okay, okay. So he'll be like, yeah, she's very beautiful. Like, I'm very attracted to her or something like that. Okay, I'm like, how far are this? No, like, I'm like, I really want to, I want to, like, get it. into this. He doesn't go that far.

He'll be like, of course she's beautiful. Or of course I would think she's attractive. But like, he's never like, oh, like, wow. Like, I want to, you know. No, yeah. This isn't always under the guise of like, who will be. No, who's a replacement. This is just.

No. That's Rachel's job. Yeah, she knows. That's already taken. You know, we all know this. But then she's like super, like, she would never be okay if there was ever like a time. You know, you're with someone for 50 years and he's like, you know, maybe just physically I could explore something.

She's like, absolutely not. So it's kind of, it's a very interesting. Isn't it interesting? Interesting. Yeah. So why do you want to know what he thinks about the list, the women, the friends? I just, I'm a very

curious human. But she's like that was food too. Yeah. What do you mean? You're best. Your reactions. What? I mean, I'm just. Like, I want to know what your favorite dessert is. I want to know.

Oh, okay. You eat something in your mouth. Like, how does it taste? Right, right, right. Do you want to,

like, if you go out to dinner? Yeah, I want, I care more about your, I want to know what your experience. Yeah, okay. You're inquisitive.

You want to, just curious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, interesting. That's supposedly a Libra thing. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I do, I'm very curious about, like, what other people are thinking and doing.

But I don't know if I'm like, I need to know what your favorite dessert is, Carla. Like, do you know her favorite dessert? No, I don't. I'm not that friend. No, and that's okay. I'm not that friend. Do you know hers? Literally any of my friends, maybe.

No. I don't think, I might know, like, what someone's favorite wine is. I mean, you know, I think because of, like, those dinners, like, you would know what certain people would order. I know why you don't want to drink. Okay. At a certain restaurant. I know, that's true. Everyone has to chime because I forget.

We eat the same restaurant, but I can't ever remember if I hated the wine. And so I forever try to reorder this rezzling over and over again. And then it was too small. The glass is too small. Don't charge me $16 on a margarita and then you can be a glass like this and you put a bunch of ice in it. Oh, see. So I'm also really cheap. She's frugal.

Okay. She likes a deal. I do like a deal. Oh, I love a deal too. Oh, I love a deal too. But she's like, she's a nice level. For the deal. She's really good at it.

It's next level. You guys were like, listen, for coming in today, I would just love to give you these white candles. I'd be like, Mark, I got a white candle. Yeah. I went in and they gave me a white candle. Like, I just get really, like, I really enjoy. You win the day. Yeah, getting something, getting it for free.

Yeah. It's a big, it's a big win. I know. You can, it's going home with you. Yeah. No, I'm okay. Absolutely. I take those dried flowers, though.

No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. walking out with like half the room. Yeah. I know. I actually... Oh. It comes apart.

I thought it was one piece. No, I feel you. I was like in a store today and there was something I needed to buy for my daughter for her lunchbox. But I know it's on sale online. Listen, it was $20. Like it was not, you know, but I knew it was on sale. But yeah. Online.

So what did you do? I didn't buy it because I'm like, well, I can get it online. I think that's smart. That is smart. That is smart. That is $3. You pay for it in shipping, but for some reason, seeing that number felt a lot better. Well, that's true when I went in today to Gelsons to get feminine products.

She was like, you're going to Gelson's for that? Like, you're going to be paid. Yeah, it's not very odd. It's just more expensive for everything to get tampons. But if it's convenient. That's my thing. I'm like, it's cozy. It's convenience right there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will put comfort over a deal. Right, to get the deal. Your time is worth money. Correct. That's what I'll tell myself sometimes. I'm like, if I have to drive across town to get a deal of something, but I know closer is something.

I will do it. I would get the closer. There's also, though, the urgency of a situation. Potentially unlike maybe the lunchbox, sometimes there's an urgency there too. But that sounds like it could be an urgent situation. Totally different. And that you got to get that where you can get it. Right. But I'm not going to the gas station that's across the street.

Oh. That is directly a prompt. They do. They do. At the gas, you though. Yes. Behind the counter.

There's a little aisle with like ad bill and tampons. Oh, yeah. I have a very, now this is another thing I learned on Instagram that apparently even organic tampons have like a bunch of shit in them. And I just learned that, which is very, very careful. It's like, watch it. You'll never do anything.

By the way. You know what I learned. What? I wanted to tell you the other day because you were like, I'm always afraid of toxic shock syndrome. Someone posted on my they're like an online mom group. They're like an online mom group. Yeah. No big deal. And

someone was like, oh my god, so-and-so's daughter got really sick and they didn't know what happened and blah-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- But you know what it was a teenager and she was wearing a tampon. She had changed it. They were like, we don't understand or she hadn't had it in a crazy amount of time. She had gone swimming in a lake. And if you don't

change it right after Oh! Yes, because some of the bacteria and all that. Seriously, no, that's how I feel about it. This is why I'm saying it. I just feel like everyone needs to know change that tampon after you get out the lake. Oh my goodness. Who would have known that?

I mean, if I go in water with a tampon and I come out, like, I immediately want to get it out of me. Like, just naturally. I don't even think about it. Do you know I go even further? But I wouldn't think of the bacteria. I wouldn't think of the bacteria. I didn't think of bacteria.

It's just you want it. Yeah. I did see on Instagram bacteria that could get in your nose and cause some like brain things. 100%. A brain eating amoeba. No, no, no. Wait, the amoehl.

Wait, get this. The other public service announcement. My brother-in-law's boss, where's contact lenses? He was traveling, didn't have contact solution, just used tap water, got an amoeba in his eye, and might become blind. What? I've never worn contacts. I wear contacts. I mean, I'm terrible vision now, but I don't wear contact.

I don't either, but that is. But good to know. You all don't wear contact? I'm going to start because I can't see. Have you had LASIC? No. You all just have. They're young.

They're young. No, we're not. No, we're not. I mean, I've had contacts since, like, ninth grade. So I've had them a long time. And you two, no correction? I've never, I mean, I technically am supposed to be wearing reading glasses since I was young, but never a terrible prescription and I would always lose them.

So just forgot about them. Oh, my God, you all have amazing vision. Can't see. I mean, I can't read and then I'm guessing what something says at the time. Yep. Like, I'll read something or say something to my kids. I have to do this. I have to hold it more away.

Why not get readers? She hasn't become good enough at a certain point. And you have to have the readers and then you lose the readers. She reads them a lot. Yeah, I need the old lady chain. I love a chain. I love an old lady glasses chain. How are contacts them?

I'm actually curious because I really want to get them. I mean, I like them, but similar to you. So what happens is information gets fed to me. And then I become obsessed with it. And I did know about the bacteria. And by the way, all summer. Last summer, we were traveling across America and I was like, Like every lake we were out like, oh, don't get it in your nose.

Because the lakes are heating up and the bacteria is. So disgusting. But anyway, contacts. Is this a new thing because of like, yeah? Because the lakes are heating up and so the bacteria are becoming like, I think, yes. I'm hoping because I was in a lake in Canada, like it's still okay. Canada's cold. I agree with you.

Canada, everything is okay in Canada. My husband's Canadian. Even the people. The contacts, the only thing is, my husband sent me an article. First, he sent me one about contact lens solution that was being recalled and was like, And I was like, no, it's not my solution. Okay. Then he sends me an article about that they're like, I like to say contact lenses are made of cancer, but that's not accurate.

They're made of like, PFA, pfate, they're made of like, they're made of like the things that we're trying not to put in anything. And that's what they're made of. So I feel now real crazy about it. And I'm like, well, I have to get LASIC, but I'm afraid to get LASIC because I'm afraid I'll go blind. Sure. So I'm not sure what's the word. Do you know anyone who's gone blind from it? No, although someone in the mom group, the husband did have like a botched.

It was a whole topic. And something, she was like, now his eye and like just did it. And so you just have to, I think, be careful where you go. You spend the mind. I mean, yes, that's what I'm saying. You go to that kind of staff person. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think in L.A., there's good resources. You want to go to the guy that does like 100 a day. Yeah, who's like never had a blind. You know? Yeah. I think that they've really got it dialed in now for the most part. I feel like.

I mean, I know my husband had it, my mom had it. And everyone's cool. They're great. How old was your mom when she got it? She just got it. Like maybe five years ago or something and she's 82. Oh, did she get like a cataract? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they fixed the lead to do the cataract. Yeah. You could just do both at once. Yes, you can't wait. The optometheus, I asked him and he was like, well, you'll just, you'll do it once now, and then you'll do it again when you've catarized. And I was like, I just don't like hearing about that. Does everyone

definitely get a cataract? Kind of, yes, apparently. Huh. Yeah. You all get them. You know. Yeah, my mom. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to look forward to. I feel like at 40, everything just goes to shit. Yeah, you just start. Like, done. Like, you can't see anymore. I feel like I can't hear anymore either. I'm like, yeah. What? Let me see. Like, I'm like,

why am I so old? It's such a young way. Yeah. Like, it doesn't make sense to me. It hasn't hit you yet. This, the holding the things far away. Yeah. Is my new thing that I can't see. Yeah.

Little by little. Yeah, everything starts falling apart. Also, after having children is when it happened to me. The vision? The vision. Interesting. Well, it's like all the hormonal change. Oh, yeah.

Whether it's kids or paramedopause or all that and the eight, like, it all happens. I know. I'm motion sick after having a kid. Harry menopause until now. I never was motion sick until after kids. Isn't that so weird? And now I'm not like motion sick all the time. But I'm more motion sick than I was.

Yeah, for. Yeah. Really? I always was. I can't watch like the virtual, like I can't. Oh, I don't. No. I like the ride.

Universal where you're like, no. No. Simpsons ride? I almost like. No. Bommon. That was like I'll never come back. I can do that.

I cannot. You can't. I can't. But those other ones on the trach, like when you're on the tram and they do the thing. Yeah, I have to close my eyes. Yeah. The King Kong. Or any spinning.

No, no, no. Spinning. No. I used to be able to spin my ass off before kids. Yeah. All that. I know. What is that?

I don't know. It has to be something because it's real. It is real. It is real. We're on to something. We're the only people. You know, can you tell that you played a doctor and she also played a doctor? Like the way that they broke that down.

Yeah, and they got to that conclusion about it. I don't think I brought it. I think you broke it down and I was just like, yes. My character was a PhD, not a doctor. Oh, oh, is that? Okay. To be clear. I mean, I have played psychiatrists who are MDs. Speaking of.

Yeah. Speaking of which. Crazy. We work together. Yes. Even though we didn't work together. But we got to share a special credit. Yeah, special credit that you were in continue playing a psychiatrist.

Yes. I played a psychiatrist. Oh, yeah. You guys. Our friend Nadine Crocker, her movie continue, which is beautiful. And Emily is so fantastic in this film. Yeah. And it was just such a funny coincidence because...

I know. I know. And then today we're like, wait. Because I just met you guys or something. Yeah, randomly. You told me that you came on to it. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I just met those ladies. Yes.

Nadine, first of all, such an amazing, special person. Yeah. Like, so tell. She's an actress. and then wrote this script based on her own experience and directed it. I mean... Did everything.

Did everything. I mean, she is acting in it, directed. I mean, I don't know how she was doing it. I watched it happen in front of me and I still don't understand how she did it. Like, she's amazing. Yeah. She's gone on to do other things,

but that film just came out. Yes, it sure did. So congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. And you guys came on to produce it. Yeah. Yeah.

So cool. Super, super fun. How do you guys know Nadine? Do you, have you known her for a million years? You knew her for a million years. So I've known her for a million years. We're both sober. I was her first sponsor.

No way. Like a decade ago, right? Oh my gosh. Yeah. I know. Nuts. And then we didn't talk just like because of life. Like it was like we got busy with our own lives.

And then we had a couple girlfriends on the podcast talking about like follow your dreams. Manifest. Whatever you. Manifest. Listen to your gut. And they were like, What's the bigger thing that you want to do? Not the thing you think you want, but what's bigger than that?

And the next day I was like, what's bigger? Like, what is it for me? And I was like, I want to create my own things. And so the next day I got like a gut instinct to contact Nadine. Hadn't talked in like 10 years. I pulled the car over 7 a.m. And was like, hey, this is going to sound weird. We haven't spoke.

But I would love to pick your brain about. writing and she was like that's so weird your name came up yesterday for coaching because I coach people and she was like we have to meet and so we met and it was just boom yeah it was like boom and then we you know brought Rachel on and it was just one of those things where it was like oh you've been in my life but you haven't right right and she's just a power house yeah wow yeah crazy like like all of it Yeah.

It's just, that's where you, you were like, I want to be creative. I'm going to call her. Like, it just was, it just was for you, her. Like, that is just. Yeah. We had so many weird connections. Like, even aside from that, like, all around us when it all was going. It was so bizarre.

Was that the first thing that you guys have produced? Yeah. Oh, yeah? Is it? Yes. Is it? Is it? This is how we.

We don't know. We're like goldfish memories. Yes. Yeah. One of. That's amazing. One of the money. Yeah.

You know. It's amazing. Yeah. What and also it's like a very powerful message and beautiful, you know, film. She always has something. Like she's just trying. She's just working to make the world a better place. Yes.

You know? Yeah. She does not stop. Yeah. It's inspiring to see someone. She really does this. How many people are like, oh, I'm writing a script or whatever? No, I know.

People write things and, like, there's many reasons why I think. never happen, you know what I mean? And like, not in their control. But this is a person who like wrote this, was inspired to do this and was like, I need to do this. I need to write this about my own experience. Wrote it, wrote this beautiful script. And like, it was very thoughtful how she wrote it. I just was really struck by it when I read it. But wrote this and then God had me, and I'm like, and then she's like, I'm going to direct it playing the main character, like, did it all, made it happen. And then it's gone on to do other things. and is working on new things.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's unstoppable. I know. Yeah. Well, I think there's like a lesson in that for me is that the one thing that I really admire about her is she doesn't, you know, I think growing up in L.A., and I don't know if you experienced this.

You were in Brooklyn. But I think there's something that happens when you grow up in L.A. And you're around this kind of world for so long, there's this like, yeah, I don't really care kind of vibe. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right? Like, or I don't want that. Like, I'm cool.

Yeah. Which she doesn't pretend she doesn't want the things she wants. Yeah. And there's something so refreshing. She, like, leads with honesty and her heart and is like, I want this more than anything. And you're like, wow, you're saying what you want in your heart. Like, that's so cool. But I think that's true, too.

Like, Ellie, we all, the three of us grew up in Ellie. Yeah. Yeah. That is a thing. So I think it's partly because the industry's here and it's kind of like partly because we're like, ugh, it's like boring because that's the industry town. But I think also it's scary to say your intentions because like, what if it doesn't come true, you know, or I put that out there.

It's scary to admit that. Right. Or all of that, I think it's scary to do, you know. Agreed. But she did that and manifested it all for herself. Right. Exactly. I know.

Yeah. And what was that like, I mean, growing up, did you grow up in the industry at all? Not at all. No. Nobody, nowhere near. Totally on the side. But I wanted to be an actress. Like, I did a play in second grade and was like, done.

Yeah. Well, that clapping at the end of the play. And I was like, this is the best thing I've ever experienced in my life. I must have this all the time. And then so then, yeah, I just knew I wanted to do it and was like, I'm going to actor. I'm going to be an actor. I'm going to be an actor. Yeah.

And then like went to like LaGuardia, like the things. Yeah. So, but I had no exposure to it other than actually. Yeah, like, yeah. No, I had no. But it is business, right. None at all. Yeah, I mean, because New York especially at that time was like, nothing was being made.

I'm the girl who like came out for pilot seasons. Yeah. I would sleep on Sarah's couch and I couldn't drive. And so she would drive me to auditions. And she was like, people did it for me. I'm going to do it for you. And she was the one that was like, you have to. I was dropped by my agent in New York.

And she was like, you have to come here. Like everything's here. All the shows are here. And that's how I started doing the pilot season. It's coming out. But I was one of those, you know, you know those like annoying. Like there's that influx that comes in for the pilot season. Like all these actors move into town for like three months.

Oakwood apartments. Oakwood apartments. Yeah. Exactly. But yes. Oklahoma departments. But never booked one. During that period.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nope. Not a one. But it was a good experience. Yeah. I know. I lived in New York for a bit. And then you realize like, oh, there's, there is more work.

for actors here. Yeah, I mean, now it's shifted there a little bit. Now you can be wherever the heck you want to be. It's true. It's moved all over. Which is kind of amazing. I mean, also there's a negative, which is nothing. They will throw out a big net friend. No kidding. Oh, my God. One thousand people are auditioned for this thing instead of like 20 or whatever. Or the local hire of it all. That's a whole another one. Right that part. But I'm like perfect for this. Like, no, no, no. A person has to live in Albuquerque. You're like, I do. That's so weird. I have a place. I can just move. I can have a place in Albuquerque. Yeah, exactly.

All right. Apartment. We could totally live in Albuquerque. Yeah, exactly. We live there for two weeks while I'm doing this. We have an RV. I could like live in an RV. We have an RV.

That's so fun. It's actually really fun. It's really fun. It's all the things. They did the summer. Yeah. That's what I want to do. We didn't do it this summer because we were in a little more of a time crunch.

But last summer, that's all the amoebas in the lakes. Yeah, the lakes. It was because we were RVing across the U.S. up to Canada. And where my husband's family is. Where, what part of Canada? Toronto. So they have like one of those like the cottages, like north of Toronto.

So we're like we ultimately go across and we make our way out. But that's where the lakes I was at. Oh, no way. Yeah. Oh, Muscoca's incredible. I mean, they're all. They call them great cottages, but there's. I know, right?

They're called cottages. The cottage. They're like. Their lake houses. But it can run the gamut. It does run the gamut. But sometimes it's a little tiny place. Little cottage and then sometimes it's like a $30 mansion like on the lake.

A $30. A $30. 30 million. And they go called them a cottage. They do you call to cottage. I don't know that that's a college. We all could do that. I got that one.

It depends on whether we're striking. 30 dollars. Too steep. I'm like, this is in Canada, guys. How can we get it for? Yeah, 29. Yeah, 29 I'm in. But it's so beautiful.

I mean, it's the most beautiful. It is so beautiful. Oh, yeah. It's so much fun. I was not so worried about the brain eating. In Canada, no. No. I don't feel like this out.

I don't feel like that. It feels cleaner. It just felt, yeah. It just felt the cold. Okay. It freezes things out. Yes. Kills them.

Yeah. That's what we're going with. Also, I think they're like test. I just feel like up there, like they're very careful with their milk. Like they're like, well, the milk can't have this in or that. We test it. So you don't even have to buy organic milk because it's all. Right.

It's all right. So I feel like the lakes are the same. Like I feel like, we test these lakes. If we have to compare it to something, we're comparing it to milk. Milk. Okay. Exactly. The lakes to the milk.

The lakes. The lakes. The lakes. Lakes in the milk are what you're going to Canada for. Yeah. It's kind of true. No. Oh my gosh.

That's so funny. It is funny. It's so true. This whole conversation, I feel like we covered everything from milk. From Canada. To tampons. To tampons. Yeah.

To Lysic. To literal bones. Yeah. Literal bones. Yeah. Medical mysteries. I mean, you guys. We did it.

All here. I think we did it. I think we really did it. So boneheads. Yeah, tell us. Drops. September 18th. That's right now.

Or has dropped. September 18th. Yeah. It will have dropped. It's already dropped. It dropped September 18th. It dropped so hot. It was like it was hot, right?

It was like it was hot. Yeah. Oh, thank you. This was so much fun. So much fun. I knew it would be fun, but I know. Yeah, of course. It was even more fun than I thought.

Guys. Hi. What did you have your hair done for? What do you mean? I just did it. You did it? Yeah. Did you have a date or something?

You put the waves? Yeah, because it was natural, you know? Yeah. And you know how I feel if my hair's just natural? Turn to the side? I have twisties. And then you did like a little twisty and a little thing. A little twisty and a little pony and a little...

I did a little thing. I'm something you're about to sing a looping. I know. I was going to do a la-na-na-na-na-na-what song is that? But then I was all your best friend. Mamo number five. So Olivia and I have a song from when we were in our early, late teens, early 20s. We made up.

Because I got high, was that? No. That was the melody of what you just saying. No, kind of, but no. But then I saw your best friend. We'd be like, I really like you, and I really want to get to know you, and I want to be with you. But then I saw your best friend. There was a time in my youth where I was way more interested in the best friend than the man.

Yeah, that happened once. But then I saw your best friend. That's why we made that song up, right? Yeah. Yeah. But then I was all your best friend. It's a really good friend. I dated the best friend.

What? Sounds great. Sounds great. I dated the best friend. Oh, did you ever? What's that supposed to mean? I have a question. Okay.

Because I've been out of the loop for so long. If you're starting to date someone, because I hear this so much. Like, when people that come on, we talk to tons of people and they're always like, oh, this whole love bomb. thing. What do you guys think that actually means and what do you think the flags are for it? Like what is the difference between someone just like pursuing you and being really attentive? Like how can you tell the difference between genuine or love bomb?

Yeah. I mean. What would be the flags? I only have one example. That's not true. No, I meant I only have like my example is love bombing, not genuine. Oh. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So I couldn't tell you how to tell the difference. So that any time someone is nice and coming on genuinely, that's not worked out? I will say, have you ever been love-bombed? Absolutely. Do you like how I ask it? Like, I don't know the answer.

Yeah. I do think it's interesting because I think everyone has internal, their internal dialogue and, like, whatever that goes on inside. And I definitely have like flags that are raised if someone's coming on too strong or things like that where I'm like, this feels like, do you like do this all the time? You know, like that's what comes up inside me. It feels less genuine to you if it happens too quickly. Yes. But then the people like just keep going with it and like don't give up on this fucking narrative that they're fucking spitting at you.

Yeah. And you're like, and I keep going against it. Like you keep pushing back and pushing back and pushing back. Wait, wait, wait. What is pushing back? Just not going for it, falling for it. Not engaging. Yeah, not falling for it and being like, I am the most special person on the planet.

Like there's a little bit of like, do you say that to other people? That's the constant internal dialogue. Do you say this to other people? I guess you could also call it walls, right? like there's like all these walls up for whatever past experiences. And like these walls are there. And part of that is just keeping the person out. Like you're saying this and this and this.

And it's really compelling at times. And you're like, wow. Like that's really. I will say my biggest fault is like I'm a fucking like romantic at heart. Hope to die romantic. Because of the movies I watched as a kid. I'm like, that's how it's supposed to happen. And like fucking serendipity.

The phone number is going to be in the fucking book. like, you're going to find each other, you know? Like, that's like, at my core, I have that inside me. Like, I'm like, no, my life is a movie. Like, this is the love story. So I think for me, like, when it comes at you more and more and more, finally you're like, well, it exists in the movies. Like, maybe it is real.

Yeah. Does it require it to go south at the end for you to have it be a love bomb? Like, when you're in it, does it feel like a love bomb? Or it just feels like you're connecting? with this person. No, when I'm in it, I'm definitely the entire time, almost the entire time, I will say. Like, do you say this to everybody? Like, there are all of those going on constantly. But there comes a point where I will say, like, where you're like, fuck, well, they're not letting up. They're being really nice. Friends are like, go for the nice, right? So you get to a point

where you're finally like, okay, this seems like the healthy decision. This seems like the right decision. They are being so sweet, so loving, so supportive, and you fight back, you fight back, and then you finally get to a point where you're like, well, I'm going to fucking get in that ring. Like, okay, let's see. I think something happens when you're experiencing relationships that haven't worked. And there's a lot of outside noise of like, I think. think people tend to point to the issues that one has. Like, well, maybe you're not giving good guys

a try or you're not doing this or you're not doing that. So I think there's a lot of convincing of oneself to like buy into something even if it doesn't feel right because you think, well, the past things felt right and those sure weren't. Right. So I'm going to try something different. I will say something else I've noticed about myself is, If I'm trying to convince myself, like, while in it, I'm not really in it. Like, I'm trying to convince myself. No, no, no, no. Yeah.

No, I really like him. No, I'm really attracted to him. Yeah. Like, no, I can do this. Sure. You can hold my hand. Like, what, like, but convincing. That sounded crazy.

But, like, it doesn't feel organic. You're having to talk yourself into feeling comfortable. A dialogue. Yeah. Yeah. How aware of it are you all tapped? Totally aware. Like, I will say, I have a lot of awareness.

But like I said, it gets to a point. If someone, anything, think about this in life, right? Is coming at you like this, nonstop, consistent. At a certain point, you're going to break down in anything, though. Right. It's all hard. Well, yeah. Right. But you know what I'm saying, though. Like if someone finally gets a point like, okay, fine.

Yeah. I'm not saying in every circumstance. I think you're, I think a lot of times too, when you have a history of relationships not working out, you tend to think that you're doing something wrong. So you want so much to do the right thing and make the right choices. Right. Instead of listening to myself. And you're willing to make concessions. Right. Correct. Instead of listening to myself, I fucking know, you know. Like if I really listen to myself, if I'm trying to convince myself, if I'm trying to convince myself, the whole time. If, when it's right, right, wrong, whatever, I don't even like that narrative of like something's right or wrong. Right. But when it's a relationship that is for you, you're never going to have to convince yourself

to be comfortable. Right. With someone holding your hand or someone liking you that much, you're not going to be like, this feels weird. If someone, like, goes to hold my hand and I feel like. Physically repulsed. If I instantly want to, like, if I instantly want to, like, like pull away?

I feel like that is a sign. Yeah, it is a sign. Yeah. I mean, it's a sign. You should never have to feel that way. And everyone, I think, has been in that situation where we're like not listening to that inner voice. It's like a no. Mm-hmm.

And we're like, well, he's or she's, let me try something different. Let me try. Let me try. Which I respect. trying something different. Yeah. And I think for a lot of females, I don't know if this is true for men, but I know for a lot of females, historically, we have a history of liking bad boys or unavailable men or something

we can't have. And so when someone really nice comes along, there's like, you should try that. Right. Right? And it's foreign the whole time. Yeah. But there are nice guys that aren't going to feel foreign. It's just they're nice.

Yeah. And you're not going to, you know. Do you ever get frustrated? Not with Rachel. Hypothetical friends. Hypothetical friends that you watch kind of go through the same. Of course. Cyclical mistakes and relationships.

The one thing I get frustrated with, with friends with. Not Rachel. Not Rachel. But with. Anyone, and especially coaching people and stuff, I have my own patterns that I have had a really hard time breaking and still are working on breaking. So I fully understand it. And I think I have an immense amount of empathy for it because I think patterns are really hard to break when 90% of our life is lived through our subconscious, when our programming was done a long time. time ago, it's very hard to break those patterns. However, the part I get frustrated with is that I do

have some tools and I'll offer them and suggest them. And if people keep doing the same thing and don't pick up the tools that are being offered, that's when I get frustrated. Like, hey, I'm telling you there's a way out of this. Yeah. Maybe try these things. That can be frustrating. But the whole pattern part isn't frustrating because I do know how hard it is to change. And when you're searching for something out of like vulnerability and purity. Well, that's why I'm saying it's purehearted. When people, like when there's mistakes and patterns and like when you see someone making choices, even if it goes with their pattern or whatever it is that you wish they would wake up from,

if they're doing something different in it and they're trying something new and it goes south, it's still great that they put themselves in that situation and tried something different and didn't walk into the same exact track. Right. And I think the point I was trying to make

was that it's like such a pure endeavor that they're attempting. It's not like they're trying to get rich and famous over and over again and failing. and making the same mistakes. Like, that is a more, like, egotistical. Yeah. It's a heart-centered.

Yeah. Yeah. Where it's, you're watching this person. You want them to succeed in this thing, and you want them to find happiness. Yeah, you're rooting for them. You're rooting for them. Yeah. Have you ever seen any pieces of love bombing?

Like, have your friends or anyone where you're just like, because Jeff is like a good barombole. of it, like, no matter what, if I'm like, oh, so-and-so started dating this person and they said this and that, he'll be like, he'll be like, I'm like, why? That's great. And he'll be like, oh, it's too soon. It's too much. I do have an example of one of my best friends who's in a newer relationship, well, like over a year, who, like, had somebody who was, like, so nice, like, so full on from the get-go, but it was consistent and genuine. Yeah, I was going to ask that.

Is love bombing never been a good thing? But that's not love... But it's not love bombing if it's... Being nice and consistent is different than love bombing. Because if it's... Well, is love bombing... It's interesting. I don't know.

Is it mean it's not true? Yeah. Is it lies or is it just... Yeah, it's lies. It's not true. It's going further than is true. It's like, you're the person of it. Like, you don't know that yet.

You know what I mean? Like you don't even being nice and consistent and being an awesome guy and showing up and being interested and attentive. That's not love bombing. Love bombing is like you are it and all of this and let me show you and introduce you to the fucking family and fly you to Italy and you know what I mean? Like that's love bombing. Right. So it's different than kind, consistent attentive. I think someone, though, could still love bomb at, like, a lesser scale and it'd still be the same.

Like, if the last time you were a love bomb, just, like, scale it back slightly, it'd still be love bombing, even if, like, the words weren't as aggressive or as grandiose. I think it's when someone's in fantasy. That's what I think it is, where there is a level of fantasy at play that is not based in reality. Yeah, I think like, I think having been in experiences where, you know, someone can be that way, I think that there are truths in some of it, but I think the level of intensity is what the love bombing is. That's what the love bombing is. You can have a feeling about someone. I mean, I know right away,

Yeah. I knew right away. Yeah. Jeff was my person. Right. So you still had those like wild, delusional fantasies. 100%. I knew right away. I didn't execute them.

I didn't say to him, you're my person and you're going to, you know what I mean? That's a perfect example because I knew right away, the last time I knew right away turned into an 11-year relationship. That's what I'm saying. So I don't think it's that it's not true, but the grandiosity of it is based in fantasy. Right. you know? I don't know if I'm on the same page as that. Of just like your ability to exercise restraint is the only thing that doesn't turn it into love bombing.

Yeah, because you get to know them and you see if it's accurate. Sure. But if the like same mental leaps are being made between two people and one is just not expressing it and the others like, I'm going to internalize this. One's going to coffee and one's moving in with each other. Those are two vastly different approaches to the same feeling. I'm always the one going for coffee. What? What?

You get what I mean, though? Yeah. It's like you can have a feeling on someone and be like... But you keep it inside. Until you can measure that you're right. And that you feel the same way. Yeah. I'm not saying they should love bomb.

I'm just saying I don't know of taking those same leaps. is any more healthy than the person love. I mean, it is more healthy, but it's still like you're making those jumps mentally. I will say the number one red flag for everyone listening, if you're like even like after a first date or whatever and someone is coming so hard for you, they don't know you yet.

They don't know you yet. I feel like that's a red flag. The intensity is the red flag. But it's just the restraint, though. that they can't restrain themselves from the... Yeah, but that shows something. But it's hard to tell the difference because I do want to believe in, like, love at first sight

and all that shit. Like, I want to believe that that could be true. I believe it could be true. Yeah. But it's like after experiences where, like, there's such a level of intensity, like, so early on. So how do you know?

Right. So what's the lesson? I think the way you know the difference is that internal, gut instinct. It's always right. That's always right. Yeah. Sometimes our gut leads us to experiences that aren't great for us. And here's why I think that's important. I've had gut experiences where I'm like, I know I'm going to have something with this person. Right. Totally. There's no talking me out of it. It is a instinctual gut decision. Some of the biggest lessons in my life have come from that.

From your gut. Interesting. So. So sometimes our guts can lead us into tricky alleys. Right. Or porta potties. But sometimes our lessons are in that porta potty. And had we not gone into that porta potty, we wouldn't know the information we needed to gather for then when it is the right relationship. You see? So it's all about trusting your gut.

If you feel like it's too much, it's too much. Yeah. 100%. I think the point I was trying to make was just that. It's potentially still a red flag if the person's thinking it and still not expressing it. Yeah, but how do you know? So you think it was a red flag for Jeff that I internally knew? And he didn't know?

He didn't know I knew that? Well, I guess to me, like, that's the same criticism that you're giving to someone love bombing, that they don't know them well enough. Right. But that's why I do that, which you didn't know him well enough at that point. No, it was just a feeling. But that's why I didn't take action on. But the only difference then is that that person didn't have the restraint to be like,

I'm going to let this feeling, just be a feeling and not act on it. That's called my trinity and self-regulation. If someone doesn't have self-regulation, that's a red flag. Here's a question. Wait, here's a question. Do you think I'm saying that it's not a red flag when someone loves bomb because that's not what I'm saying? I fucking like it. Okay.

I like it. I'm saying that's equally flaggy. Yeah. Do you think love bombing and addiction go hand in hand? 100%. Okay. I do too. 100%.

People are addicted to that feeling too. You get those dopamine hits. You get all that stuff. And then when reality starts to hit and you realize the person isn't on a pedestal or these fantasies aren't giving you those hits in your brain, then it's time. time to come down, it doesn't feel good, and then you've got to find another hit. Right. That's not a good situation.

No. You know? Nope. Nope. Not going to do it. Nope. Not going to do it. Have you ever been addicted to a person?

I'm still stuck on this. What? What are you stuck on? I, just that, at this point, all you're saying is, like, the person you're pursuing has restraints or not. To restraints on their feelings. If you're saying, like, having the feeling. They have the ability to measure what they're feeling with reality.

Right, right. But what you're saying is having the feelings that they have isn't the issue. It's the fact that they can't regulate it and restrain themselves from it. That's what I think. I'm not an expert on love bombing. That you think wrong with love bombing is they can't keep it to themselves. No, it's not the only thing. Or that's the only difference between.

I think the grandiose nature of it. is self-serving. I think it's fantasy-based. And I think it's really harmful to people. I think a lot of the people that are on the other end of love bombing, that it's actually super damaging because it makes them feel like they can't trust themselves anymore. So I don't think it's the only red flag that they can't regulate themselves. But it's also the one thing that I've seen as a common denominator is there's such a pushiness with it, that it's like, I will push and convince you that this is real to the point where I will break you down and make you believe it's real. And then once you do, I'm going to go. That's psychotic. I'm not seen. It's not. Again, that has never been my stance.

I know, but you asked if it was the only red flag, and I'm saying, no, this part too. That's why I wanted the clarity on. Because to me, like, it's still, both of those are coming from the same place. What do you mean? Of like you meeting someone and being like, this is going to be my husband right away. Like that's love bomb energy, but you knew better that you couldn't express yourself that way, that early. I knew I wouldn't have kept him if I said that.

Because it's not sane. No. Right. You know. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That's.

I had to practice Sam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sanity is a practice for me. It's not like a natural thing. Right. I had to literally have my sponsor walk me through every step of my relationship in the beginning to not sabotage it.

Right. That's just me. Well, you guys, we really bombed this post. Dang, girl. Thanks, guys, for listening. Tata for now. That was a hate gum podcast.