Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Gabby Bernstein on Manifesting, Sobriety, and Spiritual Teaching

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Author Gabby Bernstein talks with Rachel and Olivia about sobriety, motherhood, and dealing with postpartum depression. They also discuss manifesting, meditation, and spirituality.Broad Ideas is supported by Factor. Head to factormeals.com/ideas50 and use code ideas50 to get 50% off.Broad Ideas is supported by Spiidergriip. Go to SpiiderGriip.com and use discount code IDEAS at checkout to receive 30% off and free shipping.Broad Ideas is supported by Blissy. Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code RACHEL to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/RACHELSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

With Rachel Billson. And Wobby Wob and Olivia Allen. She introduced me to Gabby Bernstein as an author, a podcaster, motivational speaker, all of the things. And I was so taken by it. And even more taken by her. Well, yeah, because we talked to her today. And even more taken. Which she took you guys?

She's, were her. Taken. Yep. Taken. I am leaving. Liam Neeson. And this is how it happens. This is how we do.

Could not love her more after this conversation. And I just, one of my favorites by far. Her books, The Universe Has Your Back, Super Attractor, Spirit Junky. She got a podcast. And her podcast, Dear Gabby, also her new app. Oh, yes, we got it. You got to get it. You do, Rob.

You're doing this with us. We didn't tell you. We're doing a 30-day situation. Yeah. And everyone listening is going to do a 30-day situation with us. Yeah. Can't wait. It may cause miracles.

Let's have Gabby join us now. Sometimes when the world's sick inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside. To join us on this journey as we take. Take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that a need.

Because people die. We're so happy that you're here with us today. We've been dying to talk to you. Thank you so much for agreeing to be here. I was so psyched to get this invitation to be with you guys. And we've been trying to do it in person. And we'll do it in person at some point. We'll definitely connect.

person. But, you know, I'm really happy to be here and I love, I love these kinds of conversations. So, and I have a little bit of like a fan hitting me. So there's like a little Beyonce here love it. We love it. We love you bring a little Beyonce. Hot in New York. Here comes by Beyonce. It's so good. Your hair is so good. Everything. I know. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Right back at you both. But yeah. So, you know, we just, what we like to do here is just have the most open conversations, raw conversations, like create such a safe space to talk about everything. And obviously all the work you've done and you've put out there is so fucking awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it just really speaks to both of us massively. Massively. Yep. I've been

with you since the beginning. Really? Yep. Yep, yep, yep. And you're my spirit animal. People will tell me all the time they're like, you remind me, I'm like of Gabby Bernstein. Like it's a compliment, you know. Oh, my. Awesome. To me. Because you were the first person, at least in my experience, it came on the scene that had a spiritual aspect, I too am sober. And the spiritual aspect, but that's kind of a different breed that's very grounded down to earth. It feels like it could just be one of your friends. It's not out there in the ethers, which to me, you are the most. digestible way to get the information. Well, thank you for feeding back to me my mission,

my intention, to demystify and translate and democratize spiritual principles and personal development. And so I'm glad that's your experience. That is my intention, definitely. Well, we're done here. We're complete. Congratulations on your support. When this comes out, I'll probably be, I'm coming up on 18 years. Wow. Wow. What's your birthday?

Your sobriety birthday? October 2nd, October 2nd, 2005. You're the first? October 1st, 2010. Girlfriend, we need to have, we need to celebrate. We need to celebrate. I'll come, I'll come out to LA or you come to new, we'll do a celebration. I'm not kidding.

Whenever we meet. A hundred percent. Well, eat cake. Wow. How old is that? Crazy. Well, we're big believers in all synchronistic, like, craziness that's happening. But that's so cool. So you're coming up. Do you say 18 years? 18 years, yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Did you ever see that coming? Did I see 18 years coming or did I see sobriety coming? I think that 18 years. I think you probably had, if you're anything like me, you had an intuition that that was going to be the thing that probably changed your course. Yes. Yeah. I think that the nice thing I think just to be able to fully experience right now as you asked me that because I've never even thought about it this way. But the one day to time mentality has had a massive effect on my life. because I think it's every year that would go by,

I'd be like, oh, yeah, next day, not what's next year. And keeping it in the day and being in the presence of my personal growth and development year over year, my sobriety has just been an expectation. It's just this is a choice I make. This is I don't have any permission given thoughts that would allow me to do anything otherwise. And so to now be at this sort of 18-year mark almost two decades. decades of recovery. It's like, wow, I really don't think that I ever really thought it forward

that way. And that is a gift of some of the tools that we learn in recovery. Totally. I think the one day at a time thing, I would love to hear your experience with it becoming a mom and what that process was like. Because I understood it intellectually one day at a time in my recovery, but then when I became a mom and went through some really eye-opening experiences, I grasped it for the first time that really... Oh, yeah. Right? I can say the same.

I'm not sure how similar our story is, but when I gave birth to my son three and a half months later, I started having panic attacks and agoraphobia and insomnia and suicidal ideation. and it took me at least two months to get a proper diagnosis because I was so entrenched in the wellness world that I was trying to aschwaganda my way out of it or have, you know, a medium tell me that this was fine or whatever, you know, acupuncture. I had postpartum depression. Yep.

And it nearly took my life. And I, well, I'm actually happy to say that I actually didn't have a plan for any kind of suicidal experience, but I had thoughts, right? So that's where it takes you. And I am super open about this because this is not something that people talk about. It's something that is extremely overlooked. Those of us who do have trauma in our history, addiction in our history may be more prone to this type of experience, possibly.

Although, frankly, anyone could have postpartum. You could have the most perfect life and everything's easygoing. You know, here I was. I had support at home. I was my husband and I worked from home. I could take off as much time as I wanted. I didn't have to worry about anything financially. Everything was set up and I was a disaster.

And so that was really, I have to agree with you, one day to time became my mantra because it was really, what will I be able to get through this night without having, and it be up being up all night? It makes me emotion. I know, me too. Well, I mean, yeah, I'm a little dissociated from it in this moment. And if I wasn't, I would be very,

very emotional because I have this other compartmentalized way of speaking about it because it is still so triggering inside of me. I know I have more work to do around that PTSD from that experience. PTSD is such a thing. And I know, I mean, you know, I didn't experience postpartum. Like I didn't have that, but just different traumas and things that stay with you. But being able to compartmentalize and talk about it, you know, and even if it isn't. fully healed, so to speak, but I think the most important thing is that you're talking about it so openly. And I love that you do and you can and saying that that people feel like they can't be so open. And so many women, I think, would feel heard or seen or, you know, feel that support

because there's a taboo sometimes with talking about anything that might be a struggle. Yeah, I think that's a big reason why I have been able to serve in the way that I do because I serve through my own experience. If I haven't lived it, I won't teach it. And having the gift and the blessing of having living it and surviving it and thriving on the other side of it, I have the privilege of being able to speak for the unspeakable. And it's a huge blessing for me. And for others, because you only really learn through truth. You're not going to learn. You know, It's like you said it early on. If somebody's just bullshitting you, you're just going to be like, well, I kind of want to

resonate with that, but I can't, right? But if someone tells you the truth, yeah, but it's the truth that will heal others because they can see their own truth in that. Right. And do you feel pressure? So I work with a lot of women doing coaching. And sometimes, and I've experienced this, that the most powerful way I can serve them is taking breaks and saying.

I'm going through X, Y, and Z, I need to create the space in my life. And there is a certain level of humility that has to come with that. Because I think when you're in a service industry, when you're helping people, guiding people, facilitating people, I think that there's sometimes a pressure to have it all together all the time because so many people are looking to you to help them find the answers. Have you felt that kind of pressure? Did it make you want to hide? Did it make you want to share more?

What was that experience like? I've had a lot of unique experiences of sharing too soon, or one in particular, sharing too soon, and then I've had other beautiful experiences of saying, I'm not going to talk about this until I feel like I'm on the other side of it. Or, you know, in a grounded, healthy, unburdened way. because the sharing too soon can not only be retramatizing for you, but it will reactivate your client, your audience, your reader, whoever it might be, because that energy and that resonance of your triggers still being on high alert. And speaking of something that's painful, we'll just

activate that pain in the other. So those of us who are in the field of personal growth and development, we have to fucking do our work. And I'm going to say that fucking do our work, because there are so many people out there in this space that just don't. So I want to just acknowledge you for that, that you're just saying, like, yeah, I take breaks. Because when, when you're going to show up and be of service to others in any form, in any form, you got to take care of your side of the street first. Wow. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And too many people don't. You know, there's two people out there sort of like the wounded healer. And yep, you know, it doesn't help. Well, it's damaging. Well, it's damaging because and then it

becomes an ego tool for them in a way. And then it doesn't really bring other people to true healing. A hundred percent. That's right. What did you do during that postpartum to get help for yourself? Well, once I hit bottom, you know, I finally hit enough of a bottom. And for me, my bottom was that it wasn't the suicidal ideation. It wasn't the sleepless nights for like 40 days. It wasn't any of that. It wasn't like the sheer terror of life. It was I didn't sleep an entire night and I missed a speaking engagement.

And I've been a speaker for almost 20 years, even beyond my recovery. I've been a motivational speaker. And I have never missed a talk. You know, I showed up like one minute late to you guys. And I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like I pride myself on being on time, professional, early. My producer is sitting across me, he's going, Mm-hmm.

Josh, if you can see his face like, uh-huh. No, we show up, right? You know, we are on time and we are professional. And a lot of that has to do with my recovery, right? Yes. When you get sober, you get timely. When you get sober, you get, you know, you want to make up for all the time because you didn't show up.

Right. Right. And so the big bottom for me was I didn't sleep the whole night. I called my event producer and I was like, I literally can't come. Yeah. And that's what I finally called my therapist. No, excuse me, I called the psychiatrist friend. And I said, I have to get help. And immediately he put me on the phone with a postpartum psychiatrist in New York City. And then within five minutes of meeting me, she diagnosed me with postpartum depression, anxiety, and insomnia and gave me a prescription for a medication that saved my life. Yes. Wow. Yeah. And you know, I was brought up homeopathic. I'd never fulfilled a prescription at the pharmacy. I literally walked in with my husband. husband and I was like, what am I doing? And then, you know, then it's like this, this life-saving

experience. And there is a really, really important place for medication in this world. And so much of the wellness space just shames it. And I have tried to be the antidotes of that because I've seen so many people, I know personally, so many people in our dialogue, in our space and the wellness, wellness world that are like not getting the proper treatment that they need because of some bullshit inner dialogue, that it's just God is in the medication. Oh, great. I say that all the time. God is in the medication.

It saved my life after having my son. Like I went into postpartum anxiety and after how many years, I don't remember I had been sober, having him activated an obsession to drink. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. session to drink. And when I finally got on that medicine, I can say it 100% saved my life. And it saved my family. And it saved my son. And it saved every single one of us. And God is in the medication. Yeah, we have a lot of comments. Sister. Yeah. I know. I'm like, it's like,

I'm ping ponging. Just like we're just like, we just went right there. We just, listen, we're just like sat down. So for people, it's a funny thing, you know, talking to a girlfriend. And she was like, Gabby, you'll get this. She's like, she has like a little bit of social anxiety. And she's like, I went to this, you know, play date with some parents. It was like a birthday party for kids. And she's like, I was nervous. She's like, but then I got there. And I found out that like three people there were sober. And she was like, boom. It was like, boom. It was like, my family. And you know. And it really is one of the gifts of sobriety is that it's such a shared experience that you can in five minutes meet someone and be like, oh, yeah, you're my family. You're me. You're me. I recognize myself. And you know. Yeah, it's such a gift. I tell Rachel that all the time because she's not an addict at all. Like, never has been. But for some reason, she's the closest to addicts, you know. Yeah, all my best friends are addicts. And I'm like, I wish there was a program for people that aren't addicts that got to have these kind of tools that you get in recovery because where else are you going to get them unless you're going to read your books or do those kind of things. You have to do it more. find it on your own, right? Well, not anymore. They can find it in the Gabby coaching app. That's what I mean.

I'm saying if they go to places. I'm so proud to say that. Yeah. Say it again. It's kind of funny, actually, that you said it that way because for forever, I was always like, what, where is, like, I want to be that, that 12-step room for people who don't find, have the privilege of finding their way to 12-step, right? I want to be, I want to be that personal.

growth resource to the people that may not have hit as low of a bottom as I have. And that has happened year over year through. I have 10 books that have just given that gift to people. But now I have all of my life's work inside of this app, which is just just released. And it's just so thrilling to be like, oh yeah, you want me to be your coach? You want me to be with you anywhere, anytime, you offer you weekly lessons and new meditations plus like archives of lectures and meditations. And then on top of that, I have this section that you all appreciate. It's kind of like me as your sponsor. It's the

Get Gabby section. And it is. It's sort of like being like a best friend or a sponsor. It's like having me on speed dial. Like in the Get Gabby section here, I'm going to pull it up. In the Get Gabby section, it's got these different scenarios that you might find yourself in. And here, this is the Get Gabby section. You can see a little bit on the screen. And it's like, Super anxious and then you press the button and I give you a two minute anxiety. And I'm like literally like, I got you. I'm downloading the app. Let's be together. Immediately. I'm going to get you guys in there right and right. And can't sleep. Two minute practice. Angry, hurt, stuck in negative thoughts. Needed a miracle. You can't make a decision. Super triggered. Need a confidence boost. Feeling unsafe. Stressed. Want to keep manifesting. That was a big one. Like people are manifesting, but they're like, how do I keep my manifesting going? You know? struggling with food. Let me keep adding these. We just put one in for Kelly Repa and Mark Unswello because they just started the show together

and it was like building trust was the segment I did with them. And so for the episode, I put this build trust one in there, you know? And it's like trusting after missions. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll add one for you guys. Just put in your request. I'll put it in.

Oh, my God. We have so many. Maybe a mom in my pocket. I know. Yes, I will literally be your coach in your pocket. And it's such a blessing. because I've, for so many years, been like, oh, yeah, you know, read that book or try this thing. But it's a, it's a heavier lift. Now you can just go to the, you know, go to the app store.

Go to Deargabby.com slash app. You know, just click a button and you have me as your coach. And this is, it's a big moment for me to be able to feel as though I can have a much larger contribution. It's incredible. It is incredible. I mean, yeah. And there's so many times throughout the day where I'm like, oh, I just, I need a little guidance with these thoughts or these fears or, you know, things that keep your mind is such a fuck, you know what I mean? And I'm like, so many times throughout the day. And I know, and I know all this. But even if you have the awareness, I still need guidance, you know, because like I haven't perfected every tool or, you know, know how to manage the thoughts all the time because sometimes it can be all encompassing and whatnot and just, but to be able to,

have access to some things that might resonate and help and guide. I think it's massive and it's huge. Broad Ideas is supported by Factor. With the busy fall season already in swing, you might be looking for wholesome, convenient meals for jam-packed days. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner with chef-prepared, dietitian-approved,

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Use code ideas at checkout and get 30% off and free shipping. Happy holidays from Spider-Grip. You know, when I was early in my recovery, I remember there was this guy, Joel, and he was like a decade into sobriety and he had this like great apartment in the meatpacking where I am right now and like he was like you know the guy you know the cool guy in AA and it was like he was just cool and I I said to him I like Joel how did you get there like from you know 10 years ago being a junkie to be in this great place and he looked at me and he said lots of little right actions and I have quoted that dude like a million times who knows where he is and

in the world and one day maybe he'll hear or something like this. But it was it was such a profound thing. And so, Rachel, to your point, it's like having these small right actions that you can take. Because even with the biggest, you know, breadth of information practice, we still need to build the muscle that says, I'm going to choose again. I'm going to choose again. I'm going to choose again. And so knowing it's there in your app or seeing a little affirmation be pushed notification to you might just turn your whole day around. Right. And otherwise might have been really a big struggle.

Right. It's like the littlest things. And, you know, it's so funny, like the synchronicities in life that pop up. It's like your affirmations will pop up and it does the same thing. Like driving in my car the other day, I was having this really negative thought and there was like a sign painted on this random house that spoke exactly to what I was struggling with. and turned it around for me. So it was just like this little message.

Yeah. You know? And like if you just pay attention to those things in life and you're open to them. It is so important to have all of these little reminders and tricks and tools. I spoke with my husband this morning about gratitude. And he was saying like, well, I know all of these things. And I know that I'm grateful for this and that and the other. But sometimes I forget.

And I'm like, obviously, that's why it's called a gratitude practice. Because we all forget. It's like we all have amnesia, and we need these little things to remind us to remember all day long. Yeah. And I'm proud to say that the repetition of that thinking creates a new way of living. There's a beautiful quote from this metaphysical text

called The Course in Miracles. And the quote is, there's a way of living in the world that is not here, though it seems to be you do not change your appearance, but you smile more frequently, and your eyes are soft and your forehead is serene. And that is the living truth of what it means to recondition your fear thoughts into the truth of who you are, which is these more hopeful, optimistic solution-seeking thoughts that are back with love. And that is where we came from, and we detoured away from it, and it's a lot of work to get back.

And when we get back, we just repeat it. We repeat it and we repeat it and repeat it and we reinforce it. Yep. We need to repeat it more than we repeat the negative, because the negative is on loop, right? And if your subconscious mind is just going, then you need to counteract it with like over-repeating it and over-repeating it until it becomes that new muscle murmur.

memory. And that's the thing is you can train optimism. You can. And I think that there's a lot of power in affirmations. There's a lot of power in meditation. There's a lot of power in prayer. There's a lot of power in the repetition of new thoughts. But what's most powerful about those directive thoughts or prayers is that they actually open up your conscious awareness to seek greater service and help. Because I do believe, I'm different than some spiritual teachers and that I don't, I don't think it just stops at the affirmation. I don't think it stops at the brain trick.

I think it begins there. And then that opens up your consciousness to, oh, wait, maybe it is time for me to go into that trauma healing therapy. Or maybe it's, it is time for me to pick a book, a book like Happy Days, Gabby's trauma book or, you know, whatever it might be to take you to the next layer of your healing. Right. So for me, the spirituality has always been the through line behind my recovery. And the therapy has been, like, almost like the juggernaut that just exploded my

healing process. Wow. I, so I grew up, my mom is very spiritual. And I grew up and she would have all these exercises. And, like, in the morning, she'd be like, you got a chance. Yes, yes. yeah, you know, like all that stuff and doing a visualizing a stop sign in your mind, like you're telling yourself to stop when your thoughts go negative, everything. And I've been

brought up this way. But for some reason, I haven't been able to fully embrace all of that, the spiritual side. And I do practice it. But there's something inside in my brain that like won't let me fully embrace and practice. And I don't know. Do you have, any thoughts or advice or anything that's someone that's like totally in tune with it, but there's something that doesn't let me fully embrace it. I think a lot of folks that have the spiritual side or the spiritual inclination or the experience of a mother like yours, that's how I develop my spiritual practice from my mom as well.

I think that we often forget the world that we live in. And the world that we live in is the opposite of thinking with the thoughts of love and spirituality and a god of your own understanding. The world we live in is problem, fault finding, it's trauma, it's chaos. It's just so much of the opposite. So the desire that you have and the inclination that you have to go, there is 90% of it. Then I think you're just at this precipice of the full blown experience. So there's one thing to think it and believe it and want it. And that's really, like I said, the willingness and the desire is the most important. And you've nailed that. You've always had

that, I imagine. But the experience is what locks it in. And so maybe it's practicing like a spirit guides meditation with me on my app, right? Or it's going into that space, like a group meditation, or the two of you sitting in meditation together and listening and grounding. Because it's, you know, it's like these days it's kind of trendy to be like, you know, manifesting and spiritual. And that's a, like, you know, we were, we were brought up with that or we got sober or we got whatever. But these days, like a lot of folks are just talking to talk. But the full-blown experience of it is what I believe keeps you wanting more. Right.

And it's like a felt sense. And even if it's for a split second, right? So let's say like you commit to one meditation for 40 days. And maybe one day out of that 40 days, you have this moment where your extremities start to tingle. and you start to feel really like not even out of your body but just not a body like you're just in space and you're just feeling this just full-blown presence and peace and even if it's for just a moment that's what i call spiritual proof it's something that will bring you back wanting more right and so my only advice would probably be simply sit still

longer and daily. Why don't we do one of her 40-day meditations together and we can invite anyone who wants to join us into it? Yeah. Absolutely. That would be beautiful. I think one of the meditations from the app, I would, let me see, let me, let me, tell us what you think would be the most beneficial.

Let's see. Let's see. It's so cool. I could like, you know, just spin the wheel and see which one we want to get. Josh's like. Okay. So you go to the Discover section of the app. There's, look at all these meditations.

It just goes and goes and goes. I don't know if you guys can see it on there. Anyway, it just goes and goes and goes. I want to say, let me just pick one intuitively for you guys. Ooh, ooh, oh, I'm kind of conflicted. I really like, there's a meditation in here. God, I want them all for you. Oh, my God, they're all so good.

Riding the waves of emotions. Where are you? Oh, God. You know what? Yeah, riding the waves of emotion. this was like a meditation that I channeled for myself. Like I was just in my own meditation and I saw, I was having such big feelings.

I was just like, okay, Gabby, just breathe into those feelings and release them. And so much of working through something is not overriding the feeling, but it's about just being present with the feeling and then letting it release. And so I was just visioning and I was breathing in and letting go. And then I saw myself in this really wide open beach where no one was there. It was like the perfect temperature,

like 78 degrees. and it was like not a cloud in the sky and there was like soft waves coming at me. And I saw myself witnessing the wave come towards me and I just took a deep breath and I felt the feeling of the feeling. And then on the exhale, I dove into the wave and then I came out the other side with the feeling released. And then I would take another deep breath there in and then slowly another wave came at me and I would dive into that wave.

And I like was, I came out of that meditation. I was like, that was fucking awesome. And so I immediately recorded it and it's become one of the meditations in the app. It's like, I don't know, this was like six years ago. I recorded that meditation. Oh, my God. I mean, I've pre-recorded it since. It is so gorgeous and it is such a beautiful visualization meditation too.

And it just offers you so much relief. So I would say, ride the waves. Yeah. Ride the wave of emotions. We should do a challenge, like a 40-day commitment because I think that would be a game changer for both of us. And I want to compliment you on something that I love so much about you. And I think it's that there's such a disconnection, in a sense, from your work and you.

Like you're able to share and see that it's so dope and it's so amazing and it's so. And I feel that when people are able to do that is because there's such a clear awareness that it has nothing to do with them. Yeah. Like, you channeled that shit. And so you get to be like, right? How cool is that? You know? And that's my favorite kind of creator is the ones that know, like, this just came through

me. I'm sharing it with you. And you have that in a way that I really look up to. And I think is a beautiful, beautiful quality. I appreciate that. We all have it. We all have the ability to. to get in the flow.

Rachel, maybe acting, you may have had moments where you're feeling like your fingers are, you know, like you're just sort of like taken over a bit and feel like it's just flowing in those moments or when you're coaching, you're just flowing. You know, there's when we're in our art, we often are kind of sprung with, these experiences of just letting go and allowing. And for me, it's like when I'm writing or if I'm

speaking or just even doing meditations, you know, like I said, Josh, my producers here, we don't script any meditations. We're just like, let's do a meditation for forgiveness. I close my eyes. We're in an ISO booth and I just give the meditation. And to your point, it's a collaboration. I believe in spirit guides. I believe in angels. I believe that I have a posse of entities that work with me, infuse ideas through me. And I know this because I can hear it and I can see it and I can feel it physically. And it's a collaborative effort. And I see myself as a vessel through which that message comes through. Now, I'm 44 now, well, 43 until November. Okay. I'm not thinking of himself yet. But I started this career at 25. Now at 25 was I like, oh yeah, I'm fucking cool.

You know, like I like like check out my outfit. Yes. But it was, it was like, you know, maybe it was 60, 40, you know, like 60% in spirit, 40% in the body. And then just as the years have gone on, the like being about me is sort of dissolved. And it's like, yeah, I am going to have fun being me. Yeah. I'm going to have fun in this world. But I'm not, I, but I don't need any of this to make me complete. I need to do my work to complete my life mission. And I mean that. I mean that. Yeah. That's a lot.

We can also talk about fashion, too. You know, I really like those. I mean, your style is on point. You know what? So, you know, I know you talk a lot about manifesting and all of that. And what I find interesting is this speaks to me being like, oh, I can't fully, you know, get into whatever. I manifest like a motherfucker. Yeah. It's not like I put so much into it. It just kind of happens. My mom's always like, you're so fucking powerful and you don't use it

or practice it, you know, but the whole man, like you said, it's like very like trendy, quote unquote, like, oh, to manifest and whatever, but it's a real thing. And what in your life, like, how did manifesting become such a thing? And how, how did manifesting become such a thing? And how, how, How do you use it and what is your practice with it? Well, first of all, you said something really profound. You said, I manifest like a motherfucker and then you said. That's so profound. And then you said without even trying, without even trying.

You nailed it. That's it. True manifesting is being. It's being in joy, doing things you love. love, setting intentions on positive visions of what it is that you desire. But most important, not trying. You know, I was working on a creative project yesterday. You remember this? I said at one point, somebody said something like, well, we can make that happen. I said, let's not make anything happen. Let's just enjoy this. I think my publicist even said in the same day, she said to me like,

Oh, I'll push for that. I said, Sarah, please make sure that whenever you're pitching me, you're never pushing. I love it. Right. Because I literally did a course like 15 years ago. It's called God is my publicist. Because when you're pushing, what's happening? You're like, is that sexy? Is pushing when someone's pushing you to do something, does it make you want to do it? Never. Ever. No. And it's the same with the universe.

It's the same with the energy. It's when we're pushing, we're blocking. When we're allowing, we're actually opening our heart and our presence to be attuned to what the next right action could be. And so continue what you're doing. Rachel, don't change anything. Just keep allowing. Just don't change. anything. Don't mess with it.

That sounds great. Yeah. You know, if you're, you just keep it going. You can use in the Gabby coaching up. Want to keep manifesting. Want to keep manifesting. And you know what the prompt there is? Get into joy. Fill it in your heart. You know, feel that grace in your body and your presence and be in that joyful expression of what you desire. That's it. Broad Ideas is supported by Bliss. So I've been sleeping on this Blissy pillowcase, and let me tell you, I did not know that a pillowcase could feel so good and make such a big difference in my life. It's time to upgrade your sleep with Blissie's award-winning 100% mulberry silk pillowcases. The holidays are just around the corner, and if you're looking for the best gift you can give, look no further than a Blissy silk pillowcase.

Silk is honestly the most luxurious gift to give your friends or family. These are the perfect gift for any occasion. Plus, it comes in gift-ready packaging they'll be sure to love. Give yourself the gift of Blissie today, and you'll want one for every room of the house. I love my Blissy pillowcase. My hair tends to get a little frizzy, but after sleeping on Blissy pillowcases, I have smooth, manageable hair. It's amazing. Also, my daughter, when I let her use it, no knots. Blissy silk pillowcases are the best silk pillowcases on the market. They have a ton of different prints and colors, and they make great gifts because there's an option for literally anyone.

Men love them too. They have over 1.5 million raving fans, and you could be next. Try now risk-free for 60 nights at blissy.com slash Rachel and get an additional 30% off. That's B-L-I-S-S-Y.com slash Rachel and use code Rachel to get an additional 30% off. Give yourself the gift of a good night's sleep with Blissie. I have a question on that. So my therapist said something that I thought was beautiful because I was saying something. I was like, well, I don't want to think that way because I don't want it to go bad. And she said, there's a lot of misinformation out there about manifesting.

she said you cannot manifest in the negative you can only manifest when it's in connection to your highest self and outside of that you can have negative thoughts that lead to negative actions but that is not manifesting and i was like that changed everything for me because so many times people are like well if you think that bad things are going to happen right and it's like it shifted things for me Because I was like, oh, no, that's just the mind thinking. My job is to shift the thinking and not take action from that negative space, right? And that true manifesting has to be in alignment with my highest good. I would love to hear your thoughts on that.

Yeah, I really appreciate that. I think that a lot of me a bit scared. Like, if I say that or I think that is, look, you know, what we put out, we do receive back. So if we're constantly walking around and our life being like, I feel. suck, this sucks, people don't want to support me. You know, we all have these little like mini mantras for me, for years, it was like, nobody can support me, nobody can support me. I only really have begun to kick that story recently, very recently. It's like it had to be like a nervous system of adjustment. And as a result of sort of doing so much therapy around that belief system,

that it's a core belief system from an exiled child part of me that didn't get the support that I needed, experienced trauma, and built up a story that said, I have to do it to be safe. And so, you know, I live with it until 43 years. Now, for the very first time in my life, I'm starting to truly see that release. And so I do believe that, yes, we manifest what we believe. So it's not just a thought that we have. It's a belief. Right. And so sometimes those thoughts become so repetitive and so ingrained or their thoughts that have been we've been carrying around for decades that they've become beliefs and those beliefs express an energy and that energy creates more of its likeness so it's not that we have to be afraid of that it's that we have

to be aware of that right that we manifest for what we believe so we're noticing and for decades I've been witnessing oh gabie there you go again you know you just lost your shit it there because things felt out of control or, you know, you needed to step in there and override people and do all the work because you didn't trust they could do it or whatever that story was. Instead of blaming myself or shaming myself, I would witness that part of me with compassion. I would bring that part of me to my therapy. I would listen, what do you need? And develop a safer and safer and safer inner world so that I could get.

to the place where that part of me doesn't have to be on such high alert all the time. Now, the result, very recent result, is a manifestation of the opposite, a new belief system. I have a belief system now where I'm like, no, no, no, people help me. Like, I am here to do good work and I want the world to support me, whether it's in my home with, you know, my son's nanny helping me out, or it's my team helping me out or today, you know, and I was like, there's construction in my apartment and I'm not in the country and I'm here in the city and Josh just like rolls around and comes here and we, you know, get in the space and he's got it all set up for me. It's like that is a reflection of me.

Right. Being in the receptivity of the new belief system. Wow. That's it. Even the people we've hired, even the people we've hired in the last three months reflect that, don't you think? I'm looking at him. I know. Like Josh, our relationship is a reflection of that.

Like this man, I manifested, Josh. it's a really full story, which I can tell you. Yeah. Tell us. Do you want to hear it? Yeah. Okay, here we go, Josh. I'm going to tell us.

We live for this. So, and truly these manifestations wouldn't come into form if I wasn't a match for them, right? Right. So all that inner work puts you into a new place of inner sense of safety. That sense of safety sends out a message to the universe. I'm okay. I'm safe. I believe I deserve more than what I previously believed.

And then that starts to become reflective back to you. effortlessly, effortlessly, okay, which is another testament just to Rachel, you may have a lot of good, strong core beliefs about yourself, and it's very possible, like, you know, like that, and that is a huge part in why you may effortlessly manifest. Just want to acknowledge that, okay? Thank your mom for that. Yeah. And so Josh and I, so I put out a request, like an add-on, the online for a CMO position. And I was just like kind of like wanting to manifest this person to come in and just like take over. And I was in Machu Picchu giving a talk.

And actually that was the manifestation itself. Yeah. Like two decades ago. Yeah, exactly. Like two decades ago, I remember seeing this picture of Machu Picchu in the New York Times. And I was like, oh my God. Like there was like a like a hole there. And I was like, I need to be there.

I have to be there and never went, never went. And then I got an invitation to go give a talk to a group at the base of Machu Picchu, like at the at like the base camp. I was like done. Bring it on. My husband went with me. It was epic. And a very close friend of mine was there and she's actually happens to be a psychic medium. And we sat down to have a coffee one morning at the base of Machu Picchu in this little cafe and it's like super viti and like really vibrational. It's kind of crazy. And all of a sudden she just starts channeling for me and telling me all this stuff that's coming. She's like, I just keep seeing this guy and he's like, a little older than you are and he's, you know, he's got just like this energy and he's tall and he just describes this guy and she's like, he's like a producer, manager,

he's like producing you. And like, he's the guy that's like making sure that your lipstick looks good before you walk out on stage, but he's also like running the shit of the show. You know, he's like running. And I was like, oh my god, like, where is this guy? And she's like, I keep hearing like, JJ. And she kept hearing JJ, JJ, and I was like, how is he going to come into my life? She's like, he's just going to show up. Like, you don't have to look for him. Just like, just trust.

And I'm like, where the book is this guy? Like, I loved hearing about it. And so a month or two later, a job, a resume comes in to my people ops guy. And it's like, and it shows some of his resume. And he had had some experience working in a familiar area in my field. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. like let's talk to that guy. So I meet him for a coffee. And within five minutes, I'm like, oh, no, this isn't my CMO. I'm like, this is the fucking guy. Like I'm sitting there like knowing that.

And I think, and he's with me, did I tell you that day what happened? No, I did it. Okay. So, so then at one point, so there's a few weeks in between before we like, you know, we're doing the dance of interviewing and the team is interviewing. And he goes off to L.A. and he's having his sort of like eat, pray, love moment in between jobs and whatever. And he is on the plane to LA and he's like, you know, universe, like, show me a sign if this is my thing. Like, I really want this, but I need to just get a sign. Gets off the plane. He rents his, goes to like a rental car place that he would always go to.

I don't know why the hell you were Ubering, but okay, he gets off and he sees rental car place. And he gets turned around a little bit and he looks up at this sign on. a billboard and there was graffiti over the billboard and the graffiti said she sees your greatness I just got chills cookie I called him cookie then so then we get a little closer about to offer him the job and I'm like so did anyone call you like jr his name is Josh Rosen's like anyway he's like no my family calls me J.D Joshua David and I was like the JJ like that's and it was just like put the hell of the coffee. It was just like such a beautiful, synchronistic, you know, came to, came into my role. Then it was almost like she needed to tell me that so that I could be on

the lookout for it. Right. Right. You know, looking for a different role. I probably would have hired you anyway because I just loved him. And it's like, it's like, and this is like, he's my creative partner and he's producing my podcast and we're going to produce a show to get. I mean, there's just tons of things. And he's also like, yeah, I'm going to show up and bring you my computer because you forgot yours in the country. And you know, whatever. You know. What I mean? So it's like, it's, and then, you know, he's looking at me right now. He's like my biggest, he's my biggest fan.

You should see his face. It's so sweet. Here, I'll show you guys. Yeah, I want to say, can we see him? Hi, John. Hi. That's amazing. She's so cute.

So cute. So cute. I love that. You know, I've had experiences in my life similar to that with like those kind of things, like when I was going to have my daughter, this woman, like, saw everything and then exactly what she said happened. And I'm just so into all of all of those things. And all about it. Yeah. The signs and you can start doing that. You know, I have a book called Super Attractor. And it's all about, you know, manifesting. It's methods for manifesting.

And you can start doing that on a regular, right? And so much of the app is all about manifesting. And we've got like challenges in the app. So January is the manifesting challenge. thousands of people inside this app, we're all going to go through that 21-day manifesting challenge together. And it's just sort of like the energy and the momentum around knowing that you're not alone in the journey of it. It's kind of epic. Yeah.

And what do you do with people with their belief systems? The one thing, like there are certain beliefs that I've held for a really long time that I've really been working recently on shaking and transforming into new beliefs. And I think one of the hardest things with belief system is that when you have it so firm in place, and then reality then starts to mirror it, right? And you're like, see, told you because that's what you see, right? So it could be a belief like, I'm too old or, you know, it should have happened by now or any of these kind of like old belief systems that people have.

what would be your guidance on because you can repeat on the perfect age or everything is right now, but if you don't get it on that level where you actually believe it, how do you get people to actually believe in a new belief system? Okay. So here's the whole new wave of the breadth of my work that I've moved into at this stage in my career. And, you know, all of my books leading up to this point have been very prescriptive. So it's not just like think and think it. It's like, you know, feel into the feelings and, you know, really giving people practices for undoing belief systems. But my latest book was called Happy Days where I started to introduce more therapeutic practices because really a fear-based belief system typically comes from an unresolved trauma. And it's trauma with a big tea or trauma with a small tea. It really doesn't matter. It could be the boy. that told you you were stupid in sixth grade that made you never really trust your you know that

you're smart and just made you think about creative things but not something intellectual or it could be you know something very extreme like a you know a huge traumatic event of you know abuse or whatever that might be it's not to say that one trauma might not be far more uh uh debilitating for one person because it's so affects your nervous system in such a way but they both have the same effect which is that these traumas create a belief system. And so I wrote this book Happy Days, and in Happy Days, I teach a lot of the different therapeutic methods that I've used to undo these belief systems. And the most important that I went on to get trained in,

which is a therapy called Internal Family Systems Therapy, IFS. And I'm actually writing my 10th book all about IFS. So the thesis is that we all have these exiled parts of ourselves. The exiles are the little kids that were traumatized. So it could be the little girl who was sexually abused or could be the little boy who was told he was stupid or didn't get the attention that they needed. And so as a young child, we don't have the ability to, or literally like the brain capacity to find a sense of safety in those experiences. or process them. And if we don't have a healthy attachment figure, like a parent or a loved one, to help us process it, it becomes a truncated belief. It gets stuck in our psyche. And that's what

in IFS we would call an exile. And so what happens very quickly is these young little exiles from our childhood start to get managed. We start to manage them. And we manage them. And we manage them at a young age, you know, eating a lot, or we manage them by raging, we manage them by watching YouTube, or we manage them by just, you know, being perfect, like the perfect little girl. And we manage and we manage, we start to build up these other parts that are called managers, they're protectors, their protection mechanisms. And when those managers stopped working, like for me, the manager was like relationships or overeating.

And when those managers stopped working in my 20s, the next extreme manager, the next extreme protector was the firefighter and the firefighter was the cocaine and the alcohol. Yeah. And it's the, it's whatever I can do to put out the flames of that exiled trigger. I can't manage it anymore. You know, my controlling manager is not working right now or my, you know, freak out manager's not working. So I'm going to go pick up the cocaine. Yeah. And so we live in this cycle of young parts inside of us that are constantly at odds with one another, they're extreme. They're, oftentimes, our managers are like the majority of the way we live, right?

Like super controlling or like, you know, super, super like high alert or OCD or whatever it might be. And then the exiles are like, I got to pick up that drink the second that that thing isn't working. So from an IFS perspective, we've got all these little children inside of us, exiles, managers, firefighters. and the way that we can heal those exiles is by befriending these protectors and helping these protectors find peace. And how do we do that?

We all have within us self with a capital S and self is calm, compassionate, connected, courageous, it's creative, it's all these C qualities, confident, And self is like the internal parent. Self is who shows up when your, you know, your kids having trouble at self that's like, I'm going to lend you my calm. I'm going to lend you my compassion.

And we all have self. But most of the time we live in these managers and we've forgotten about self. And so the book I'm writing is called self-help. Love it. And it's making IFS self-help. And it's helping people recognize these parts of themselves and helping them start to connect to the self within and to develop a relationship between self, that self-adult,

resource, calm, creative, compassionate energy and then these manager parts that need to be given a break. They need to relax. They need to be lit off the hook. Now, if someone's like, oh, that sounds really good. You know, yes, read the book. But then the next step is IFS therapy because the deep work of like going and retrieving those exiles and bringing them back to safety, that's not what I'm going to be doing in my book.

Like I want to talk to the masses. I want to get people into that dialogue with their inner parts. But then that deeper like go, let's go save those exiles that I would really recommend you do with an IFS therapist. And so the answer is that we can change, you know, some limiting beliefs by repeating and changing new patterns, for sure. If they weren't exiled beliefs, they're just something that we picked up along the way and we're just like, you know what, I want to work that out with a new belief system.

But an exiled belief deserves more than just a reframe. An exiled belief is a little child that is fucking terrified and it is buried in the dark and it has been pushed down and shut down for decades. And it really deserves that we offer our attention and compassion to these other parts of ourselves. Right. Don't you think it can also be, let's say, as a young adult, like these things happen? Like, do you think it's still when you're saying like little child? And of course, a lot of things happen during childhood. But what about the things that happen when you're older? Same.

It's the same. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same. I mean, listen, the childhood stuff only provides. perpetuates what's happening in the adult experience. And many people may be like, you know, my childhood was perfect, but then when I was 20, I had this horrible experience and that could be enough. So, yes, it can happen along the way.

Typically, I think that people have these traumatic events as children. And then when they have other traumatic events as adult, they don't have the ability to process them because they live in such a fight, flight response. And so it's almost like a retramatization of that experience initially. Right. I agree. Those of us who are addicts are really traumatized people. Right.

You know, anyone who's an addict is really just a very traumatized person. Yeah. Because you're someone who has had to rely on a firefighter to push down that pain. Yep. I think that that's it. I really do. The only thing to this day, when I'm in those moments of fighter flight or trauma or limiting beliefs or any of that is to immediately. move inside to those small versions of me. And now that I'm a mom, it's become so much more natural

that I can say, how would you talk to your kid if they were saying this? You wouldn't say, that's wrong. That's not right. Believe something new. You'd say, oh my gosh, baby, I hear you. And I love you. And it's okay that you feel like that. And I'm not going anywhere. And to literally turn and give that to myself when I'm in fear or insecurity or doubt or any of those things to go to those parts and be like, it's okay that you feel like that. I'm here. So you have a lot of access to self. Yeah. You've done a lot of work, right? You've got a lot of long-term recovery. You've done a lot of therapy. You've obviously devoted your career to this. So you have a tremendous amount of access to self and that awareness of, oh, wait, I wouldn't speak to my child like this.

what would the mother in me say and how can she relate that? Most people walking out there in the world, 99% of the time, they live in their hearts. Right. They live from manager to manager. You know, they're like, let me control that so that I can then deal with that so that I can then, you know, keep up with that. And the anxiety as a manager and overeating as a manager and controlling perfectionism, you know, even good qualities. Like, I love my managers, you know, my controlling manager wrote 10 books in 13 years. Right? Like, she's done it. Good job. She's a beast. But now that she's, she's a beast, but now that she's not in such an extreme role, she can do it with more ease. She doesn't have to, like, bulldoze across everybody while she's doing it. She doesn't have to like, and it can have more success because she can allow it, right? I have another question for you. Since I have you here. We're so freaky. I hope to come back. I literally want to be best friends with you guys. We are. This is done. This is a done deal here.

From day one, I was like, day one, I was like, she's my people. And like, really quick, when you said, like, oh, and I used to be like, oh, I dress cool and this, that's what helped me at that age. I needed someone who looked cool. I needed that. Right. Anyway, go on. Right.

Yeah. Oh, yes. Okay. So I just, this, like, blows my mind how you can have trauma, right? And you have PTSD and your muscles store this memory. And, like, I'll have something that activates me or triggers me. And instantly, my physical body goes into this crazy, can't eat, can't sit upright. My stomach's in pain.

Like, it automatically transports me there. And I feel that I have no control over it. Because my mind might be like, what are you doing? Like, you're okay. This isn't really happening to you. This isn't the same thing. But my body goes into it so hardcore. I feel helpless and can't control it.

I don't know what to do with that. What do I do? There's a whole chapter in self-help. There's a whole chapter and self-help called body parts. Okay? So we have a psychosomatic response to triggers. I write a lot about the work of someone, a man called Dr. John Sarno, who wrote a book called Healing Back Bain or he also wrote the mind-body prescription.

And the whole thesis is that our physical, conditions are a response to our psychosomatic unhealed wounds. So rage, trauma, repressed anger. And so when you get triggered and you go into that physical, that physicality, one part is that yes, that is a protection mechanism. So when you go into fight, flight, or freeze, or in your case, you know, physically turning over, my case, complete dissociation, like, completely check out, like go somewhere else, right? These are protection mechanisms. This is the brain and the body's way of saying,

too much, too strong, too hardcore, like shut that shit down. So just like picking up a drink as a protector, your body can be a protector. And so what would I say to you? The same thing I would say the way you would express to these other parts. The process I'm writing about is a truncated version of IFS, and it's called the check-in process. So in that moment, the first step is to choose to check in, to have enough awareness that you don't have to get lost in this, but you have a choice.

Remembering that choice, choose to check in. The second step is to become curious about what's happening inside. So start asking the physical part, like if it's your stomach or whatever, you can say, no, is it tight? is there pain? What does it feel like? Describe yourself to me. Start talking to it internally. Describe yourself to me. How old are you? How long have you been around? Do you have a gender? Do you have a thought that you want that you're attached to? Be curious. Offer up that curiosity questions. As many as you need to. And once you start to open up that curiosity and you start to feel a little bit more connection to the inside and that awareness, the final step is to compassionately.

connect. And that's when you would say to that physicality inside of you, what do you need right now? And what you'll hear often is, I need to rest, I need to play, I need to write, I need to sleep, I need to, you know, often childlike things, I need to create. And this three-step process is a very truncated version of what IFS would do in a therapy session. And it's for me, just the intention is to really help people start to connect inward rather than fall prey to the momentum of the manager, right? So that manager for you is, oh my God, that feels too big. So boom, I have stomach pain. Or, you know, or in some somebody else's case, the manager feels too big, boom, I got to go pick up a drink, whatever it might be with different ways of

of managing the feeling. Or a cookie. Or a cookie. Yeah. Or a cookie. Yeah. Yeah. And when you have that, what is the first thing you do when you experience that?

When I experience. No, I was asking Rachel, like what is the first thing she goes to when you feel that? I text you. Well, that's beautiful because that's actually, that's actually also a reflection of your self energy, right? So the self energy within you, instead of saying, Rachel, go self-sabotage or go eat cookies or go, you know, hate yourself, you're like, wait, I have choice and I have connection. And I'm going to lean into that.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. That's beautiful. It is. And some of these things for Rachel, it's amazing because we've known each other basically our whole lives. And the things that I felt like I had to work so hard to learn, whether it's manifesting

or all this stuff, I had to go through a lot of pain to get. Rachel did have from day one a very natural way of attracting and dealing with. and you weren't a self-sabotager and you didn't harm your body and all of these things. Like your natural instincts are really good. They are. And I don't know if it's from your mom being so enlightened and you growing up with that that it just being second nature to love yourself in those ways. But I do think that you're really blessed that your natural instincts usually pull you

towards. It's so interesting because I've had certain toxic people in my life that'll be like, you're just in a bubble. Like you just don't, you know, and like really talk down to and things like that. Where I'm like, am I or am I just like kind of positively going through this thing? You know? Yeah. So it's interesting that you can have certain people that try to dim it. So the other thing I wanted to ask though with Rachel would be when you were growing up.

Yeah. Did you feel relatively safe? I would say, yeah. I think I felt safe. You know, my parents split up when I was young, but I never, yeah, I never felt unsafe. I think that's a testament to your super attractor power because when we grow up feeling like we have even one strong attachment figure. And in your case, maybe it was both your parents, maybe it was your mom.

We've obviously gleating that it is your mom for sure in one way. And having that strong attachment figure and having that sense of safety, it's everything. Right. It's everything. And so having that does set you up. It doesn't mean that you don't experience trauma. It doesn't mean that you don't have adversity. It doesn't mean any of that.

But it does mean that when you do experience trauma or you experience adversity, you have a safer sense of yourself. I think. And you have a place to go with it. It's so funny because my mom, my whole life is like, you're divinely protected, right? I remember going camping with like a boyfriend and like a bunch of people and we heard bears and everyone was so scared. I'm like, I'm divinely protected. Like that bears not. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, okay, there's our answer. There's our answer. Yes, that's our answer right there. That's true. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got made fun of a lot for, like, you're,

you're insane. But I'm like, am I or am I just? It's not going to be a bit like a bear. Well, let's talk about, let's talk about belief systems, right? That is the answer. If you were brought up with a mother who repeatedly told you you were divinely protected, and I only told you that made you feel that you were divinely protected, you were hooked up, sister, and you were gifted with a beautiful setup, right? So that when you would face adversity, you would know you had a safe place to go and you had a belief system that you could move through it. And so those of us who may not have had that, that privilege have had just a lot more undoing to do. And we all have that Rachel in us, right? That

belief and that faith and that super attractor power. But our access to it was blocked because we had so much trauma unresolved wounds in the way. But that doesn't mean that we can't commit our life to undoing those wounds and getting back to our Rachel. That's right. That's it. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I do. I try with my own daughter, you know, and as a mother, even the littlest things, like, if she freaks out that there's a bee and I'm just standing there and the bees on me and I'm like, it's not going to do anything, you know, it doesn't want to hurt me. It's not, you know what I mean? And like setting these examples, even if it's like something so, seems so minor, you know, and like, we have the

biggest spider I've ever seen in my life. Like, right? And I'm like, Briar, come check this out. It's like the coolest spider I've ever seen. And she just appreciates it. And like, you know, the little things. But just, I know, she's not down for the. in sex. But it's just like those examples. But you're right, and I've never really thought about it. But that's exactly how my mom raised me. And I think that has to definitely, you know, plays into why I'm in a bubble, so to me. Well, you also watched it model to you because her mom did see a lot of adversity and went through a lot of pain and a lot of trauma and healed breast cancer and went on her journeys. And so Rachel grew up watching someone living in something. And so,

self-love and doing all of the things. So those things were handed to her in a way where I think you nailed it. Like for me, when I went through the 12 steps, I didn't even know this going in, but my biggest issue in life was safety that I never felt safe. And so it's like when you have your foundation of life built on safety, it's the most we can do as mothers for our children is give them that kind of safety. Right. Yes. Help them feel. the four S's, as Dan Siegel would say, feel seen, safe, soothed, and secure. That's it. That's winning.

Yeah. That's winning. And when we're done with this, I want you to call your mom and be like, mom, I'm going to. Thank you for fucking hooking me up in this next time. That's the quote. You want your mom to write a book. She should write a book.

I know. She has a lot of good things. She's an angel. She's a person who, I mean, I went to her when I was, how old was I, I don't know, 19 years old? Yeah, probably. And she became my counselor and she got me on my path because I grew up with alcoholic parents. So I was like, help. And Rachel's like, I really think my mom can help you.

Yeah. And she did. She changed my whole entire life. Wow. Wow. Let's dedicate this episode to your mom. Yeah. She'll be thrilled.

She will be thrilled. She deserves it. She does. She does. Yeah. No, I have the whole new appreciation and gratitude just from this conversation realizing, oh, shit. She hooked me up. She really did. Yeah. She really did. This has just been, I mean, so cool. And I can't wait. I'm definitely downloading your app immediately. Same. I'm going to give it to you. I'll get you. I'll get you right. I'll get you. But no, but everybody listening can go try it for free. I mean, it's a seven-day free. trials. So if you want to go practice that, ride the waves meditation for seven days for free or take the seven day onboarding journey that I put them on, which is like really epic. So just go to deargabby.com slash app. You can download it for free in any app store and try it out. Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to do it. And anyone who wants to do it with us is invited to. Yeah. Because. Yeah, they can start the first seven days for free. And if they're into it, they can keep going.

Keep going. For sure. For sure. We are all about riding that Gabby wave, let me tell you. Yeah. And you are now going to be a part of our lives, and I can't wait to see you in person. Yeah. Definitely getting you on speed dial.

Yeah. You don't even need the Gabby. You don't even need the Gabby app. You just text me. And I think you guys are beautiful. Thank you so much for this time. Thank you for sharing with us. And it was nice to meet you, Josh.

Yeah. Josh, they say hi. Hi. He's saying. Bye guys. Bye. Bye. You're amazing.

Yeah, incredible. Incredible. Thank you so much. Oh, is that a mosquito? Oh, oh, oh. Right on your chair. Handle. Underneath the arm.

Left arm. See it? What do you want me to do? Kill it. It's right there. I thought you don't kill things. Mosquitoes only. Mosquitoes you can kill, yeah.

Only mosquito. I didn't even kill a Black Widow the other night. That was portraits. Why? I took it outside. You guys, there's so many things we have to get right and so many things that we get wrong. like not killing a black widow yeah like how is supposed you oh you're not supposed to kill

and then you see something and you're like kill it like how are we supposed to know all the right and wrong things to do in this mosquitoes you can kill mosquitoes are okay that's the only thing I kill that's the only spider that I've killed ants black widows are the only spiders I'll kill you well they say you should but I still I just don't I'm like they're not doing anything yeah but people get all like high and mighty

like I don't kill spiders, but then you kill mosquitoes. What's the difference? Because spiders aren't like really trying to, like mosquitoes are actively coming after you to bite you and cause you irritation. Are you sure spiders aren't because I feel like I get spider bites? spiders are not out there like looking for people to bite. If you get a spider bite is because it's like crawling around your bed. Yeah, it's an accident. Cozy.

And it's not trying to. It's not trying. Mosquitoes are literally that is what they're doing. It's really problematic. Spiders don't want to bite you. I can't even go outside anymore. Yeah, it's bad. Wait, so you guys are from L.A.

We did not grow up with mosquitoes. This was not a thing. I was sold this as like, moved to L.A. We don't have mosquitoes. I was like, okay. This was not a thing. No, this has been the past, what, like five years maybe? Yeah.

This was, we never grew up with mosquitoes. Did you know what a mosquito was? Yes. Yeah. We traveled. I've heard of it. My family is on the East Coast in Tennessee. Okay.

The East Coast in Tennessee. Well, Tennessee isn't the East Coast. I know. So my family was on the East Coast and Tennessee. Oh, like I said in Tennessee. On the East Coast. No. Yeah.

So, no, this is new. It's new. It sucks. Yeah, I don't like it. Uh-uh. Can you go outside at your house at night? I go in the garage and then I shut the garage door. But you can't, like, kick it outside, right?

Nope. We can't. We cannot hang hot outside. Can you? What? He doesn't want to win away. No, no, no. It was just like, he was like, what?

Oh, no. Like, he had like, he like, took, oh. Uh-oh. Wait, what? Oh, my. I can't. I can. I can't.

I'm crying. I'm crying. You didn't like my nope? Like, I guess he's so. Rob's always so monotology. And, you know, he's like, he, like, took me, like, a long time. You're like, so you can't hang out outside. And he's like, nope.

Like, and he already knew the answer was no. I'm dying. Oh, my God, I'm literally crying. I don't know if I'm going to get it back, you guys. I don't know what I'm laughing. anymore. Oh, it's spicy so much. I'm going to question for... Oh, my God. This is terrible. Question for us to answer from the internet. Okay, great. Is it a mosquito?

Yeah, we're done on mosquitoes, right? Okay. Okay, go ahead. Okay, this is coming. I, a 29-year-old female, hate having sex with my husband, 30 male. Oh. Is this someone wrote it to us? No, this is I think from Reddit. Okay. Oh, great. Wonderful. Okay. So we're taking questions from these days.

Okay. I generally dread being sexually intimate with him and I feel extremely guilty about it. We have been married for a year and have never had good sex together. It never really clicked for me and I truly think we are sexually incompatible. I fake it most of the time just to get through it. I love my husband and do not want to be with anyone else, but I am not sexually attracted to him. He's a heavy smoker, drinker, eats hard. amounts of dairy even though his lactose intolerant.

I think that's the problem right there. And because of this combination of things, his breath is extremely bad, even with gum and mouthwash. Also, because of his lifestyle choices, he regularly coughs up mucus and is constantly spitting, which repulses me. Yeah. He does not take care of himself hygienically. For example, he's not gone to the dentist in years, even though he badly needs to. I've booked him a dentist appointment for multiple visits. and he manages to miss every single one.

He doesn't take care of his hair or skin. He does not wear deodorant or lotion. And he will wear dirty, tattered, stained clothes most of the time. He has an overall disheveled look and his be a little offensive sometimes. He's a wonderful guy with good character and values. He's loyal, considerate, hardworking, and responsible. He's a great husband and I'm blessed. You're not.

But like, here's the thing. Like, clearly he was this way before she married him, right? Seems likely. And I wonder if they didn't consummate. I wonder if they didn't have sex until they were married. Yeah. You know? Where is she from?

I just didn't get that much information. I think she should divorce him. Here's the thing. If there's no kids in the picture, why would you be married to someone you're not sexually compatible with? Yeah. That to me is like. be friends.

Yeah, that's an important part of a relationship for sure. And if that isn't there. Or you could try first, right? Or they could try first and be like, hey, these things are really important to me. Like hygiene is a massive turn on. Do you think you could try showering and turn on deodorant? Try showering, putting on deodorant and maybe take it down on the dairy a little bit because I find that really attractive.

Men who don't do dairy. What's the probability? this Reddit writer would hear this? I would say nine out of ten. I mean... Is it on ours? No. It's just a random.

It's just a random. Rob feels... It brings up a great question. Probably 95% chance. What are your guys' thoughts on divorce if you're not sexually compatible? Well, okay. What if you're great in every other way and you are like best friends? maybe there's enough trust to be like,

I can sexually step out of the marriage. Right. That's where like an open relationship could come into question if they've exhausted. Right. I'm not saying that's the first. Yeah, maybe don't lead with that. Right.

But if I think it's Esther Perel that says that you're not supposed to find everything, get everything from a partner. Yeah. I hear that. You need to have different aspects being fulfilled and you shouldn't expect that your partner is going to be able to fulfill every single one. Agree. But that one.

But that one, because that's the one commitment you're saying I won't do with someone else. Well, but we don't know. He may be fulfilling every other box. Not her box. But I do think it's usually like sex is sometimes what keeps people, like, as opposed to like a healthy relationship. And I think the opposite, a healthy relationship would be way better to keep instead of dipping the sex. Yeah, I've had friends say that they're in bad relationships, but the sex is really good. Right.

That's why they've stayed. Oh, that happens all the time. But I don't necessarily feel like, I don't know, that feels like a life sentence to me that would be a really hard one to live out if there wasn't children involved. I think the bigger thing is that if she can't communicate. that it's an issue. That's the bigger red flag. But if that's how he is and he's trying and making an effort and she's still repulsed by him.

Yeah. Then she needs to talk to him about it. I mean, the way that person was painted though, it sounds like they don't know how they're affecting their partner. Right. Right. Like also it sounds like they're not aware that dairy can cause an abundance of muke if it's not.

And gas, I'm sure. That's probably a part of it. And dysbiosis. Have you had a partner that is gassy? Smelly, gassy that you've had to say something to? Or just had to swallow and tolerate? I've said something. Swallow.

Tolerate? Yeah. I mean, I would say, I do say stuff. Like if Jeff were to be stinky or X. boyfriends in the past weren't properly taking care. I've said something because it actually will bother me. No? It depends on the person.

There's certain people that I wouldn't feel comfortable saying that too. Have you experienced it? Sure. Sounds like it's a thing that women deal a lot. It is. Well, guys don't typically have the same level of hygiene as females. I don't think that's a sexist thing. I think it's true, right?

I don't think that's I don't think you can make a general statement Like that she's not making she's well No because I know a lot of men that are like Super hygienic I don't think she's saying that there aren't hygienic men Right no I love a hygienic men Man I think it's great

I love a hygienic men I really do But I think you're right I think typically A man like isn't doing What a woman's doing They have like stinkier socks How long is your bedtime routine? Mine's very short. How long is yours?

Like non-existent. Well, mine is short too, but Natalie's is like 45 minutes. What does she do? I don't fucking know. She washes and then does the thing. I am not that person. I wash my face every night and brush my teeth. And that's pretty much the extent of my bedtime routine.

Jeff seems to think it's a two-hour bedtime routine just getting in the bed. He takes that long? No, he thinks I do. because I like adjust the pillows and like you have to get in and like he's like what the hell are you doing and I'm like getting into bed you know like him he just will pass out on top of the bed on the covers in his clothes in his freaking jeans in his jeans yeah so that bothers me and I've told him that bothers me like I don't want his dirty day time clothes in your bed in your bed I get that I get that I'm always like Briar immediately take off your school clothes.

You're not getting in bed, you know. Well, not that you would, but I don't like during clothes. I don't like clothes. I don't even like it when he rewheres a t-shirt. And his shirts don't smell or anything, but I'm like, I don't like that. I like a crisp shirt on a man. Like a clean crisp shirt. Sure.

Jeff will re-wear it. And I'm like, don't. I'll wash it. Like, it's going to get washed. Just put it in the hamper. I feel like Rob doesn't re-wear shirts. I wear two shirts a day, usually. Yeah, see, he changes his shirt.

Well, because I'll work out and then I'll have a shirt for that. Right. But do you re-wear it? Oh, it's all sweaty by the end of that. Yeah, that goes in the... And it goes in the hamper. Yeah. So now I just throw his shirts out.

You throw them away? I throw them in the garbage and buy new ones. Well, it's just like plain white T-shirts, though. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'll get that. All of my shirts have. They're all like the band shirts and stuff.

Have you ever had that situation with a female or a male? Don't want to be presumptuous here. Not odor. But what? If it's not odor, what is it? Like bad breath you mean? No. That's an odor.

Yeah, it's an odor. Well, I don't know. I mean body odor. What? What? That's so sadness What? He didn't like their cleanliness

No, no, it wasn't cleanliness What was it? Well, it was maybe cleanliness What was it? Upkeep and upkeep Oh, down there Yeah Ah, got it

Yeah Yeah, well some people really like To just go in all natural They do mean? Yeah Yeah I get that I was younger

I probably wouldn't have That same reaction now But it Got it That makes sense I think I was 18 at the time. And it was just like massive. And it was on like a friend's couch.

And the girl was just like. Like my hand got stuck. What? What do you mean? I mean, it just was like. No. In the tangles of the pubs. Yeah.

Your hand got stuck? Yeah. Oh my God. I have the chills. That's so embarrassing. Oh my God. Not for you, for her. Well, maybe her both.

Or maybe she was just like, yeah, baby, machete it. She's like, this is how I keep them. Yeah, it's how you trap a man. Wait, what? That's insanity. I'm trying to visualize that. It's impressive. It's impressive is what it is.

I'm impressed with her. Super impressive. Did you know her? Like, we did it get stuck awkwardly for like a few minutes? And I went to sleep. With your hand there? No, I like stopped. I like stopped and was like, I was getting late.

I thought you went to sleep just with your hands stuck in the tangle. Wait a minute. So what did you do not having a big sister? So for me, like I knew I knew how girls like groomed because I had a big sister. Like it was taught to me. So I was really young and I knew like. I was really young too because I started getting waxed like really young. So but like who told you?

Who told me? Who told me? Your mom probably. I mean, no, my mom. I don't think so. She was probably like, you're beautiful. Yeah. Because my sister was like, you need to trim that.

Maybe my first boyfriend. Maybe your first boyfriend. It was like, maybe. I don't know. You probably didn't have pubs for your first boyfriend. Oh my God. Rob. You're getting canceled.

I'm not getting canceled. Rachel's first boyfriend is. I think Rachel's first boyfriend's already been canceled. Oh, yeah. He's in jail. Yes. Do women have a preference? Does it really matter for a guy?

Let me say this. I will say this. It depends on the guy. Now, that might sound weird, but I think it does. And I don't know how to explain it. Go on. You can have to try. Do you understand what I'm saying?

I know exactly what you're saying. Please, because I don't know how to explain it. It's just like the right texture on the right person. Right. So it's like a fair amount thing and like a person that doesn't give a fuck and like they're whatever, but it's like a thing. And if they are like not well kept, it doesn't matter. Right. But then someone else you might be like, hmm. Seems more sloppy. Seems more doesn't unattractive. You know, I think it depends on the person. Is it the like amount of hair or it's totally persona and confidence with it? Because then if you let me to say something. It's

personality. If you just hook up with a guy for the first time, this is a general statement, okay? You don't want to name any specific names. No, I'm saying generally speaking, a girl, first date, whatever, they're fully fucking trimmed and like kept. That's shady. That's either, one, they assume they were going to fucking get late on the first date or two, they're always well kept because that's what they're doing. Because they're always getting late. Yeah. And that's hot. You know, throw back to a couple episodes ago. Depends on the person because there's some people. There are some people that anticipate getting laid.

Right. So they keep their shit tight. But it's a turn on that. It's a turn on for you that they aren't expecting to. No, I'm not saying that either. I'm just saying generally that that could be looked at as like, huh, like maybe a split second of like. Red flag.

Interesting. So I remember a friend of mine said that. said that she her husband was going away for a work trip and that she went into the bathroom and she saw that he was like manscaping and she was like no why would you be doing that to leave would that alarm you or that would be weird but what if wouldn't you if you were going on a work trip wouldn't you still shave your legs if that's the way it feels good to you like to be clean and like well kept. Well, I'm sure he isn't always doing it. If it was, if he's shaving it as often as you're shaving your legs. Yeah. Then, then it would be a flag for her and she was like, why are you doing that

if you're going on a work trip? And he's like, I just like to feel clean. And like, that's how I like when I'm having such a prostitutes. That's how I like to fuck my hookers. But no, so would that make you feel weird? If it's not a regular thing for him and he would go away on a trip. But what if it is What if it is regular? Like he always does it? Like, then it's not weird. To me, it would be regular. Like, in my relationship,

it wouldn't alarm me. You know what I mean? I'd be like he's just, he's just cleaning up. Like, he's shaving the back of his neck when he goes to work because he shaves the back of his neck. Right.

You know? But there's also Jeff. Like, it depends on the person. Right. Like, I would never think if Jeff was doing that before a work trip, that Jeff was going to, like be shady. You know what I mean? Like I would be like, oh, he's just whatever. Oh, I don't know.

That's a tough one. That's kind of tough, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because I get to a point where even if it's not like I'm, you know, doing anything, I'll be like, oh, I got to like clean up. But that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. I think for some people, it's just like a natural, like a part of their hygiene. But what you're saying sounds like it's not part of the norm and he was going on a work trip and he decided. mowing the long. Yeah. The fact that it was even alarming means that it's... Yeah, it's out of the norm.

Out of the norm. You look really pretty. Thank you. You're welcome. That's really sweet. Yeah, I'm sweet sometimes. So I'm not so much. Sometimes it depends on...

Depends on the mood. Depends on things. Are they what? New. Ish. Yeah. They're in my... Did I play tennis in?

Does your active gear? Yeah. I've been playing tennis now, guys. I'm proud of you. I was dying this morning and I don't know because I haven't been sleeping well, but I was like, dying. How is your partner? Who's my partner?

Oh, I'm doing it. There's a couple. No, there's a couple of my friends that are other moms from school. Yeah. But today it was just, it was Julie and I today. Last week was Terry and I sometimes don't probably be all three of us. You have an instructor? And there's an instructor who also teaches our kids.

That's very cute. Are they good, Julie and Terry? We're all kind of on par. Okay. I would say, like, Julie's been taking more lessons. Let's rank. Terry's just more athletic by nature. So maybe I'm the worst.

Who's most attractive? Hudson. No, I'm just kidding. Do you guys ever play that game with each other? What? Like, who do you find more attractive game? Of your friends? What do you mean?

Of other men? Of all people. She does this all the time to Jeff. I think we've talked about this. Yeah. She'll be like, who do you think is the most attractive? I love it. It's so fun. Who did you think was the prettiest of that dinner? I mean, I don't think I'm a good person to ask because my friends don't, but maybe.

Your friends don't what? Don't play that game. It's so boring not playing that game. Do you play it with Natalie? Well, sometimes, like if we're watching something. Does she get curious, like who you find attractive? I think she knows. How does she know? Because she

Married to you? We've said, we've said Like, who's your celebrity? Like, who's your free, who would be your free pass?

We don't, we don't call it free pass. Whatever the fuck you call it. Oh, I have a good story after this. Okay, first answer that, Rob. Um, what if Rob just like,

was like fucking Megan Fox? Rachel McAdams. Oh, she's cute. I like, well, I love. Rachel Mc Adams,

but not a current. Oh, you like her. her. When I was younger. Like the notebook, you were like, I love you too. You have big notebook. I don't know.

Okay. So you like I'm a little wholesome? I don't know that those are all wholesome. Well, Rachel McAdams is like wholesome vibes. Now they've told me it's like pale like European women. Which is the exact opposite of that. Yeah, she tells me that she is not the type that I normally. am attracted to.

Interesting. What was your story? You know Joshua Wolf, the comedian? No. Very funny. He's like, my wife asked me like who my hall pass was. And I was like, well, you got to go first. Tell me who yours is.

And she's like, Brad Pitt. And he's like, you can't go wrong. Like Brad Pitt and 12 monkeys. Brad Pitt and Snatch. Like, great choice. She's like, who's yours? He's like, Janet next door. Wait, so your story was just a stand-up comedian's joke.

He died. He's like, I think after a bottle of wine, it might happen. I love that. I loved it. Episode the other week when he said the icks and died. Died. It was just a comedian's joke. I know.

Well, you know, good artists take great artists steal. I thought that was fucking funny, though. That is really funny. Yeah. I feel like you've told us that before. I just saw it like yesterday. Oh, yeah. I've thought it because I'm a genius.

I want to fuck Janet. I want to fuck Janet. Oh, my God. I don't have any of you guys because I don't do that game. We play that game. We play that game. Yeah, I'll make you rank our friends. Oh.

All right, you got to, who are your hall passes? I don't need a hall pass. I have a fucking... I have the world is my oyster. Who's your like dream wish list then? Oh, I don't have one. I actually don't. I mean, I had one.

And I got him. When you were younger? When I was younger. Who were like my biggest? We just did this. You liked Eddie for long. Oh, we talked like that. That was like a kid.

That's young. That's different. There's no one reason. that's like Idris Alba. Like there's unattainable met. Like Brad Pitt. I mean, of course I would go for Brad Pitt. Sure.

Who wouldn't? You'd go for Brad Pitt. Would you? No. You wouldn't even give him a handy. No. I would. Olivia would.

She'd be like, nice to meet you. I would let Jeff. Yeah. I get it. You know, I would be like you can't. You can. Yeah. If Brad Pitt came on to you at a restaurant tonight, we're on the dinner to this.

Would you need to get permission from Jeff first? Or would you just go for it? Here's the problem. I think that he would leave me. Jeff would leave you if he did that? With Brad Pitt? I think so. I got to get this in writing, like this Hall Pass thing.

It's Brad Pitt. When does Brad Pitt like age out? Like one thing he's not going to. Brad Pitt. Never. Never. Never. How does it feel, though, to be Brad Pitt?

Like knowing. Let's have him on. Like knowing that you are everybody's number one. That's such a weird feeling. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Well, and he's got that condition where he...

What? This is going to sound made up. It's real? This is real. Where he doesn't recognize faces. Oh, yeah. I've heard this before. Yeah, my friend David has it, too, where, like,

he said if out of context his mom was walking down the street he wouldn't recognize her face what he's got like a face blindness essentially and I've I've tested my friend David on it where I don't understand what you mean faces don't he doesn't remember faces he's got facial blindness like there's other indicators that he can recognize on someone if in context he knows I'm going to meet Rob he'll look for a hat he knows generally how tall I am, but if we're just 200 people or in New York walking down the street and he saw my face, he wouldn't know it. So if he were to, so there's probably people out there that slept with him and then he sees them and he's like, yeah, yeah, there's no way he's clocking.

That's a pretty good thing to claim though. What? Yeah, I mean, he's having to meet, he's having to meet that many people. It's a condition. It's a real, but I'm telling you, I've tested my friend and it's a real thing. We're like, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, I've been going to meet him. Yeah. And I'll see him across the street. Yeah. And I'll be like, well, I'm going to go walk towards him and see if he notices.

And I'll walk right by him. Or he was at Maru once when they were still doing the pickup window. And he went to go get his drink. And I like walked up and was like, excuse me, that's mine. That's really funny. And he got like, I mean, he knows pretty quickly afterwards and realizes that I'm fucking with him. But he was caught off guard. You know what?

That's good to hear. Maybe it can make me have a little bit more compassion for people because that's one of my biggest pet peeves is like if I've met someone a certain amount of times and they act like they've never met me, I like write them off. I'm like we've met like seven times. Well, that's triggering insecurity of yours. Not necessarily. To me, it's especially in the like spiritual world of like people that claim to be like really evolved. conscious and all of this. And then I meet them like over and over and over and over and they act like they don't know who I am. And it's like we've broken bread together many times. So I've felt like to me,

it's like you're not as conscious as you claim because you're not even being present enough to take in the people that are in your experience. Right. You're seeing that as a hypocritical action. Kind of funny, phony. You know? But now. But now. I'm like, what if they have that facial recognition thing? I call them out. Like, I will never be like, oh, nice to meet you and do it again. I'll be like, we've met. Aggressively like that?

Very aggressively. When I meet people, because my memory's so bad, I will always say, nice to see you just in case I've met them before. Well, I've said this. I have like the opposite facial thing where I'll recognize someone. Oh, yeah. It happened last week where, was it that chain dinner? and there was some like

How was the fucking sandwich? It was ridiculous and the tacos were even better. Damn. There was some guy there that I was like, I think I know that guy and I like met him six years ago once and that was it.

And it was him. Went up and said I to him and I was like, you're Matt, right? And it was. Yeah, it was Matt. It was Matt. But I think it also depends. on how many people you're talking to a meeting on a daily basis that I've noticed like doing

this all have conversations with people and I'm like I don't know if I've said this before because you're saying things all the time so much but meeting I mean Brad's I would imagine that's the case that he's meeting a thousand people a day I met him have you yeah yeah you did you had a lot of bracelets on where did you meet him I met him at a thing. Okay. Yeah. Anyways.

But he's everywhere he goes, he's meeting. Everyone in the room is looking at him. He's meeting that many people every day. I'm more forgiving of that, though. My thing is more names than faces. I have a hard time with names. I'm bad with names too. Terrible.

But I try and say, like, we met. What was your name again? I'm not going to, like, pretend I know it. That's good. That's a good quality. be like I'm and I'm with you all the time so she has to do the hard work. And then I can be like yeah, Olivia, this is. Janet.

Duh, Janet from next door. Next door. You fucked her. Well, sorry. Stop me. So I think that what we've covered here, not only do like a recap. Does it pertain to our beautiful conversation with Gabby? You guys did get into.

You guys did get into pubic hair a lot in this conversation. First of all, wait, can we just say that Gabby, we love so much. Oh, my God. And she's actually going to be part of our life now. Yeah. Maybe she won't if she listens to this whole thing. But then we'll know if she's really supposed to be in our life. Yeah, exactly.

You know? We like to test our rider times. Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay. All right. And a Hewelhouser. See you next week.

Bye. Bye. That was a HeadGum podcast.