Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Gabrielle Bernstein Returns to Discuss Her Book, Manifestations, and the Spiritual Realm

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

Gabrielle Bernstein (author, spiritual leader) returns to discuss her tenth book, Self Help and new manifestations tactics. To learn more about Gabby, head over to  gabbybernstein.com.Broad Ideas is sponsored by Mint Mobile. Switch to Mint and new customers can get half off anUnlimited plan until February 2. To get your new wireless plan for just $15 dollar a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to mintmobile.com/ideas Broad Ideas is sponsored by Quince. Go to Quince.com/ideas for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!Broad Ideas is sponsored by Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS an additional 30% off when you shop a blissy.com/RachelBroad Ideas is sponsored by Posh Peanut. Go to postpeanut.com/broad and use promo code BROAD for 20% off your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

Today's episode, we have Gabby Bernstein again. Woo. She has a new book. We're very excited that she came back to talk to us. We love her. Let's just get into it. Self help. We need it.

So badly. Sometimes when the world's sick, Inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that I make you. Because people die.

I have so much to share with you guys. Holy shit. We want it all. Let's go. Let's go. We're just diving in. Yeah, no, we're just diving in. Let's go. Oh, my God. Well, where do I begin? So I just, we have a little catching up to do. What was it a year since our last conversation? And just to let everybody in for a second, we did one Zoom, but we became best friends in a Zoom. A hundred percent. And we actually haven't hung out or seen each other since that Zoom. Yeah. But when, when Olivia opened the door, she was like, hey, babe. It was like, it was just literally like nothing had. Nothing. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it was like home. It's like, yeah, come into the bedroom. Come into my bathroom. But that's when you have, when you meet your people. Yeah. It's instant. Yeah. 100%. There's no, there's no forcing or trying. Right. And I think also that comes with a lot of personal development, right? Like we've all done a lot of work on ourselves. Oh, yes. And then I think it's, I think it's just natural when you meet people and your, and especially I think in your 40s, you're like, you guys aren't 40 yet, are you? Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay, cool. 45.

I'm 43. 45. Are you 45, 10,000? I'm 45 on, well, this will come out later, but I'm 45 on November 1st. Oh, my God, happy birthday. My daughter's is 14th of 14th tomorrow. Oh, happy to you. Oh, love a birthday to you.

Yeah, you too. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm 45, and I think that when we're in our 40s, Insta friends happens because you don't have time for bullshit. True. Uh-huh. And not connecting with other people where you're like, I'm okay. not connecting with every single person. You're like a good people. And then I know that when I'm in L.A. next time, I want to spend time with you. Right. And I want you to come and stay in my apartment

New York City. It's like we can lay in your bed already. Like, can we have a sleep over? Yeah. And I've had that experience. And then I really don't have that experience sometimes. And I think it's just really natural. It's so interesting. Yeah, it is. And I used to be wanting, like, like sort of strangely wanting to be friends with everybody. I don't want that. That's what I mean. Something's shifted. Yeah, you don't want that in your 40s.

In your 40s. I don't feel what I mean. But also good time. Like because kids and family and life and friends. But like so it's really curated to who you want to make the time for. That's right. Well, I think it's about value. Totally.

Right? Where it used to be quantity. Yeah. Yeah. And also I just think that we are grounded in who we are. and how we want to show up in the world. And then as a result, you start to magnetize more of that kind of friend towards you.

Yeah. And then it's really obvious and it's clear. There's really no question. And it's just a hell yes. It's a hell yes. And if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell fucking no. That's right. Right.

No judgment. God bless you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm busy. Yeah. And the great part is just that's true. It is.

It's not a lie. It is true. Yeah. Yeah. You are so busy. Like, I watch you, and I'm like, but all stuff that I'm a yes to. Like, everything you do, I'm like, yes, yes, everything you say, everything that comes out of your mouth, all of your books. Oh, I had a cool experience with one of your books the other day. Not the other day, but when I was in Mexico, do you remember that? No, but share. Really quick, and then we're going to get into all of it. But I was rereading. You never said you're back or something.

super attractor? Super attractor. Okay. And I went outside on the patio and I was in Mexico and I was looking at the ocean and I was like, I'm going to do some of these exercise. She's saying, I don't remember what it was. It was like kind of like, say this, this, this. You're walking us through something in the book.

So I was like, I'm not just going to, because a lot of times I'll just read and be like, oh, I'll do that later. Totally. So I'm at the point right now where everything is right now. If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right now. So I did it. And I was like, oh, that felt really good. And I walked inside and I had a text message from Rachel.

And it was something like so-and-so wants to do this collaboration thing. And it was like instantaneous results. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so wild. Because I was literally just outside doing Gabby's. It might have been the spiritually aligned action method. There's a lot of methods. There's so much methods.

Because it's so, the methods for manifesting is super attractor. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I live that and I'm so glad that you're living that with me. Because when we are in tune and when we are consciously co-creating, that's life. That's how it's supposed to be. We're not supposed to struggle. We're not supposed to. And also when the things aren't working out, we trust that too. Right. Right. As I put this book out into the world, my producer was like, well, what would be your dream placements? And I'm like, X, Y, this podcast, this podcast, And I'm like, but if it's not working out, it's like, and it's for a reason. Maybe it's because it's supposed to happen in three months, or maybe it's not supposed to happen at all. Or maybe it turns out that that person that I want to be on their show turns out to be not so greater, right?

Who knows? Do you know what I mean? Yes. So you have to really be loose about your desires and not strangle them and trust that there's a divine order. Right. And that what you think you need isn't always what you think you need. And the secret to manifesting actually is to forget what you think you need.

Yeah. Right. I told you I just got back at one in the morning from Morocco. And the day before I got the invite, I was like, I really want to travel for work. I want to go somewhere cool and far. And the next day I got an email inviting me to Morocco. And I thought of you. I was like having it is given.

So proud. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of Asking It is Given, that's one of my favorite books. Love. I just, I listened to her every morning. Yep. When I drive to the gym, Esther Hicks. Here's a question I have for you that is something I've personally struggled with.

And I know a lot of people struggle with. And I think I'm doing much better is when you're not in flow. And when you feel like, oh, I know I was being a little cranky about that or crunchy about that. And kind of like in a stuck zone, right? Well, my love, this is the entire my love. I always call people sweetheart or my love. I love. I love.

the coffee shop or like my best friend or like a man who's like 90 years old. I like my love. Okay. So my love. Here we are. This is actually the body of work that I focus on for this book that's coming out. That's out now. So self-help. This is your chance to change your life. This is my 10th book. And it's the real manifesting flex, truly, because what we manifest what we believe. And when we're in beliefs such as I'm too busy or I can't do this or when we're in those crunchy moments, as you suggested. If those crunchy moments are just a fleeting moment of discontent, that's fine. But most of the time, they're very familiar moments. We probably find ourselves in those crunchy moments that are very similar over and over again. Same types of

things trigger. I like the word crunchy moments, the phrase. So similar things in our life might trigger these moments where we're anxious or we're controlling or we're reactive or we're extreme or we're in a pattern or habit that doesn't feel good. And as we start, we're to really get reinforced that habit and pattern and reinforce that habit, habit and pattern, it becomes a belief, like what Abraham says. A thought that we keep thinking becomes a belief. And those beliefs are what manifest into our life. And so this new book that I've written called Self Help is all about how we undo the, undo the belief systems, befriend the belief systems, compassionately, connect to those belief systems that have been around for our whole lives

since we were little. If not more, who knows. We talked a lot about this in the last time. to the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little tea, big T traumas from our childhood and the ways that we've been protecting against them. And so self-help is actually a book all about, it's a four-step self-help practice that's informed by a therapy. And the therapy is called internal family systems therapy.

But I'm not going to teach IFS here. I'm going to teach self-help here. And then as a result of teaching self-help, I'm introducing you to IFS. Right. Okay. But internal family systems, just to give a one-life system. line about it, it's 43-ish year-year-old method that has been transformational in the personal development therapeutic space. I have practiced IFS in my own therapy for a decade and then became

friends with the founder, then went on to get trained in the model, then with his blessing, have written this book where I'm the first person, really, to go out and make it self-help. Maybe people have done in different ways, but I'm very publicly doing that. So the blessing of this incredible friend, you know, he's letting me take his therapy and make itself help, okay? Yeah. So this is huge. So in IFS, in IFS, there's different parts of who we are, and I'll speak about it as it relates to the book to super simplify it, because that's what I'm here to do.

Yep. So we have those extreme patterns and behaviors, and they're often led by beliefs. And they're the areas in our life that block our manifestations. And sometimes we can have those that be completely free in one. area like we can manifest effortlessly in our career. You want to go to your, you know, want to go to a faraway place, you know, Morocco is the next day. But maybe there's another area where you really might struggle, like relationships or or finances or whatever, just speaking to the general public. Yeah. And the areas where we are not in the flow and the areas where we are not feeling

that effortless manifesting and we're not feeling that synchronicity and we're not feeling that faith and that unwavering knowing are the areas where we've been very protective of ourselves. and where we have patterns that are protection mechanisms. And there are patterns like, for me, I'll give an example. I have a controlling part of me, like a protection mechanism, but it will call it a part of me. And that controller has been around for as long as I can remember. And whenever she feels like things aren't going the way that she thinks they need to be going or that she feels a little bit like people aren't listening to me or I'm not being supported,

the controller is like out, you know, wants to, you know, inserting herself. and for many years she was extreme, extreme, extreme. And when that controller didn't work that well anymore in my 20s, she turned to cocaine and became an addict to really put out the flames of that feeling of being out of control. And so we have these different parts of us that are constantly at odds with one another, working so hard to protect us. But what are these protection mechanisms protecting us from? the big T, small T, childhood trauma.

The little, the big moments that may be seemingly small, but they're big for all of us. Or the big moments, like in my case, sexual abuse as a child, you guys shared a lot of your trauma stories with me in our last conversation. The moments in time when we were very afraid, very scared, had trauma of some kind, and we didn't have an adult to help us process it. We did not have the brain capacity or the ability. to actually process it through our body, through our psyche, and immediately, as little children, we picked up protection mechanisms.

And those protection mechanisms look like perfectionism, people pleasing, control, you know, let me show the world how great I am, trying to be seen, hiding out, sugar addiction. You know, I heard once in a recovery meeting, someone talking about their addiction started when they were five, obsessed with orange juice. Just overly drinking orange juice for the sugar high. I mean, doesn't that just, like your whole heart just melts right?

And you can say that. And so from very little, little ages, we start building up these protectors. And so the protectors are protecting the exiles, which is the traumatized little children. In IFS, you would help all the protectors and then get to the exile. In self-help in the book, I'm not touching the exiles. That's for your therapy. That's for your treatment. Interesting.

That's for trauma work. I'm giving a book to somebody. I don't want to start ripping off the band-aid. But what I want... That's good. It's respectful. It is respectful. Yeah.

But what I am going to do is give people a four-step process, which I'll share with you guys today, where you become curious about these protector parts. And the intention of this work is to befriend these protection mechanisms. And when the protection mechanisms begin to settle, our true self with a capital S, begins to emerge. And self with a capital S is our undamaged, resourced self. It is the compassionate, curious, creative, confident, courageous, all these sea qualities, connected, clear part of us. It's a part of us that effortlessly manifests. It's the part of us that it just feels so much love and compassion for every part of who we are. It's the part of us that is so contagious.

Like when we're together, the three of us, the reason we befriended each other so fast is there was self-connection, right? That's it. I love that you use the word contagious because it is. It's like you can, it's like a Christmas tree. Like you light one and plug the other in and it starts to light up the whole tree. That's a beautiful image. That is. Yeah. And when you meet people like that and you're like, oh, I'm plugged into you. And you like it's like that contagious light. You're recognizing that self, the light within you that's also within the other. And it self begets more self. And so self is also like an internal parent. So when you start to extend some of this self-like qualities to these protection mechanisms, they can relax. And that's the process that I've created. And as these protection mechanisms start to settle, what happens?

Self begins to emerge. These protection mechanisms feel safer. You become less and less extreme as time goes on. And as these extreme parts of you start to subside, self becomes more natural. You start to be more child, like you start to feel more alive. You start to feel more connected. You have more clarity. And you start to be like, oh, you know, your self-energy is so exciting.

I'm going to lean towards that. You're not finding yourself, like, falling into relationships that are so destructive. Right. You're in a more calm and resourced way. I can't wait to do all of these things. You guys are going to go. I'll do it with you right now. I can do with you right now.

Oh, let's do it. But do you have questions before we do. You're moving in with us. Yeah, I know. We do need to have like a. Like, ladies retreat. Yeah, when we go somewhere? Yeah, it's happening.

Okay, great. It's definitely happening. So happy. Back into Panga or something. Okay. So first questions. Any questions about what I'm sharing? No, I'm following 100%.

Okay, that's really good sign. Okay, great. So my clarity of self is coming through. Okay, excellent. So the four steps are very simple. They're self-like sea qualities, right? So leaning on the energy of self, you focus your attention inward towards that protection mechanism. So in both of you,

So in both of you, is there like a protection, protector part is what we would call it? But is there a protection mechanism that's like very extreme in your life that you might be aware of? People pleasing. People pleasing. Yeah, I saw you light up when I said that. Yeah. I think mine is more doubt. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, great. So just doubting yourself. Right. Huge. And like, it's like a thing. It's an addictive thing. Yeah, it always has been. Okay, great.

I'm working on that one. So let's, we could, so whoever you want to check in with today, just for yourself, think about it in your mind. Okay. Mm-hmm. And the first step is to choose to check in with the part. So you've identified the part you want to check in with? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Okay. In the moment when you're doing this on your own and somebody listening might be like, I don't know these parts of myself, like, you know, they may need to read the book to get a little bit more clarity. Mm-hmm. Maybe you're feeling anxious. Maybe you feel discontent.

in some way, just check in with the feeling also because anxiety is a protection mechanism as well. Yeah. So, or your jaw is clenched and you don't know why, just check in with your jaw. There's a lot of overwhelm. Overwhelm. Anything. Any feeling of discontent or extreme pattern of behavior, you can check in with it. Okay. And the first step is to choose to check in. And the reason that this is really important, the choice to check in, is that you do need to have a little bit of awareness that there's something happening to do this practice. Because sometimes we can become so blended with these parts of ourselves that we just feel like, I'm in the sugar and you just check out, right? But with a little bit of awareness, you can choose to check in instead of checkout.

You're not going to always have an awareness, but we'll do it. We'll do our best. Sometimes you're going to check in and eat the sugar anyways. And then you'll check in an hour later and say, okay, let me check in with that part. This is a gentle, loving, compassionate process. There's no blaming or shaming, it's really gentle. So having a little awareness of not feeling 100% or I just raged on somebody or I'm wanting that sugar or I just binge the sugar. What was it? Like looping in your brain?

Or I'm in a loop in my brain. Let's check in with the loop. Okay. Step one, choose to check in, which is gently, and you guys can kind of do this with me as I carry you through it, which is just focusing your attention inward towards that part of yourself. And you might want to close your eyes or you can keep them open. And focusing your attention inward, let's just notice.

in your body with step two, becoming curious about this part of you and just gently extending a little bit of curiosity. And that curiosity could ask the part to reveal where it lives in your body. And if there's any physical sensations or tension or pain or anything you notice, is it in your chest or your jaw or your stomach and getting a little bit more curious asking this part of maybe how long it's been around and asking it if it has any images or thoughts or stories that it wants to reveal to you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. You're getting some connection there. Yeah. And then just sort of open your heart even more and just sort of say, what else do you want to reveal to me? What else do you want me to know right now? What is it important for me to know?

And then the third step, once you feel a little bit of connection, like Olivia just went, that was a connection sign, right? The third step is to compassionately connect to the part and just simply ask that part of you, what do you need? And don't overthink. Just let the part reveal to you whatever it says. It could be anything it needs. Anything it needs, just let it tell you what it needs.

And then gently place your hand on your heart and your other hand on your belly. and just breathe into that space where that part lives inside and let it know that you've become aware of what it needs and breathe deeply into that part for one more moment. And now gently in the fourth step, check for some of those C qualities of self. Do you feel a little bit more calm? Do you sense any compassion towards that part of you? In fact, I don't even need to say it. I'll ask you guys, how do you feel right now as we've just talked about?

done a very gentle check-in, very short check-it. More calm for sure. Calm. I feel more curious. Nice, nice. Anything else you want to share? I'd say compassion's there. And compassion, yeah.

Compassion, for sure. Yeah. And just spend another moment with the part and just let it know. I only had a brief second right here to check in, but now you're going to have the book in your hand. And you have me on speed dive. and Gabby's self-energy is here with the part, just saying I love you so much. You can let the part know that I love the part.

And that you're always supported and can come back to it in five minutes or an hour whenever you need to. And when you're ready, you can just come back into the room with me. You did it. Support for broad ideas comes from MintMobil. All right, it's 2025. Here we go.

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What came up for you? It was my looping, like, and so breathing into it and instantly calming it and giving it compassion because, like, we're at a battle constantly. You're trying to stop it usually, right? Absolutely. And I'm like, what can I do to stop it? What can I do to stop it?

So that starts looping, you know? And it's like not getting the clarity of figuring out the actual thing that will stop it. The actual thing that will stop it is giving itself. is letting it know that self is there. And don't even overthink it, Rach, just go, just, just keep checking in with it. Right. Rins and repeat.

Do that 15 times a day. Right. And the slightest bit of relief is letting that part of you know that it's okay that it's there, that it's safe inside, that just like you would, if you're a little, one of your littles came to you and was like, I'm in a loop, mommy. You wouldn't be like, get over it. Get out of it. Right. Fix it. Let's fix it. Right. You'd be like, tell me about that. Right. You'd be curious. You'd put your hand on their back and say, and you'd give them compassion. Yeah. And you would compassionately connect. What do you need right now, right? We don't treat ourselves like this.

No. It's true. This is not how we treat ourselves. And right. The simplicity here is that the more you do this, the more safe these parts of ourselves feel inside and they feel they know they begin to know that they're not alone and they know they have this inner resource of self this internal parent and then once they have that trust in self which is a whole chapter in the book at the end they become freer and freer and freer and then when that self trust is there self is there's a beautiful quote in the book from an iFS practitioner that self is like the sun behind the clouds and the clouds are there but they can always lift and when the clouds, those protectors of those clouds lift, self is the only presence that there is there. And so when the clouds lift and self is there, what are you left with? You're curious and you're

creative and you're courageous. You're like a little kid again. A little kid. Yeah. You return to your natural state. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wow. Where did it live in your body? My stomach. Mm-hmm. How does your stomach feel now? It feels better. Yeah. I was also struggling anyways from Like traveling? Yeah. It's been so intense, but it already feels better. I do find that interesting, though, because the loop is in the mind, but when you checked in, it was in your stomach.

Yeah. Well, the brain gut connection is no joke, right? So our nervous system reacts to the brain. And then when we're in that paris, when we're in that sympathetic state, where's fight, flight, the gut is one of the first responders. And then when we start to get back into that. parasympathetic state, we begin to relax through a practice like this or any somatic practice, really, your viscera can just relax and your gut can relax and inflammation can settle and your

digestion gets better and back pain goes away. What was your experience? Mine was weird because like right when I checked in and you said to go to where you feel it in your body, I had this feeling. It was through my throat chakra and a little bit of upper chest, like almost like just this section, though, like really tight. And I got this visual of the mom entangled, the witch. Oh, wow. I know. And it was like this guardian that was like a decrepit kind of old lady.

And it felt like she was caught guarding this like precious little younger version. Wow. Yeah. So she was like, no. What was the part that you were checking in with again? What was it? So it was, it was doubt. Doubt.

Wow. So she was like, no, no, no, don't look at that. That's right. You know, and it was very like, I've got her guarded. And so then I asked, what do you need? And she said youth. Ooh. I know.

That's common. That's really common. Is it? Yeah. So remember, these protector parts have been with us since very young ages. Yeah. And they were forced into adult roles. They were forced into roles of having to protect the little children.

Yeah. But there were children. We were children when we had protectors showed up. So as little children, we were forced into adult roles of people pleasing or taking care of our parents or caring, you know, or overshadowing our needs for others or controlling or, you know, whatever it was to stay safe. Yeah. And what happens is when these parts are offered this breath and this space, they will say,

I just want to be dancing. I want to be a child. I want to have youth. I want to be free. I want to play. They'll often say things like that because that's what they want to get back to. They've been working so hard. The visual it gave you, like that is extraordinary.

I mean, it sounds like you work very visually. the fact that that part revealed to you so quickly the witch as the part protecting you'll see my hands are going like this at protecting that little innocent girl yeah it's like what a visual right that came so quick too crazy but it makes so much sense too because i think like my doubts the stories the belief system is attached to aging is attached to it's too late for you to X, Y, and Z. Oh, this is a whole other level. Okay, okay, okay, cool.

So it was interesting. I was like, oh, but really underneath that is that youthful spirit that wants to play and create and do all of these things. And there's like that version of doubt that's been really well fed. How long has that doubt been around? I've always had it, but it was never towards aging. It was like insert whatever.

She was there. That's right. That's the new one. That's just the new doubt. That's just the new one. And that's actually really beautiful point of it because what happens is these parts of us just keep repurposing and replaying

as different people and different situations. You know, it's like if you're a love addict, you've a love addict part that's a protector. It's just repositioning that love addiction onto different person X with different body, but same story. Right. And different person Y.

And it just carries on all the way throughout your life. Or if you're, you have, you know, addiction, right? You put down the drink and the drug. Okay, well, you pick up the sugar. You put up the workaholism or what, until you start to get to the core to really befriend these protector parts. Yeah.

There's so many. There's so many. As you're talking about it, I'm like, yeah. Uh-huh. And that and that? Yeah. And I think that for me, I do a lot of now, I do a lot of loving the inner child. So, like, if I feel like I need to be seen, like, that need is slipping away in a really powerful way

where I used to be like, well, if I don't get this external validation, like, I failed. Yeah. And lately, I've really been able to turn to it and be like, I see you. I see you. Wow, babe. You're doing a self-help checking without realizing it. Yeah. Because any time that we see these parts of ourselves as parts, whether we've had the language for it or not,

You've been doing it. What you're doing is you're saying you're not a problem. You're not bad. This is a feeling. This is a belief. This is a part of me. I'm going to see it. You guys have done so much work on yourselves.

So this check-in was effortless. Rachel's like, I see you so many parts. Most people are going to be like, I don't have any parts of myself. Yeah. No, it sounds like cuckadoodle to people. When I'm like, go to that part of yourself where you were and they're like, huh? Yeah. Talk to yourself inside.

Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm trying to keep it super neutral and be like, okay, you know, are you aware of extreme feelings, behaviors, patterns? Yeah. Like everyone out there can say they've had anxiety. Check in with, there's a whole chapter in the book called Anxious Parts. You just check in with the anxiety.

So how do you get people to bridge the discomfort? Because I've had this, even just with friends, being like, you need to go to that little girl or that little boy, especially. with men sometimes. It's tricky to get them to go in there. But when they do, that tenderness that they can show to those parts, I believe is life-changing, right? But the thing about you that is my favorite is that you neutralize things.

Neutralizing is a nice word. Thank you. You really do because it doesn't feel like it's up in the ethers. It's practical. It's accessible. So how do you get people that have resistance towards that? I don't. Oh, you don't?

Because they are not drawn to you. This book is called self-help. We don't have a copy in the room, but it is bright orange letters, like a 70s book, right? I love it. Self-help. It says, my name, self-help, this is your chance to change your life. And you're not picking up that book unless you're willing. Right.

And you know what? There's a lot of us out there that are willing, and we're ready to do that work. I want to have inner freedom and we're going to take the risk and we're going to have a little tinge of courage of self come through and say, check it out. I heard Gabby on the show and let me just get a little bit of more. I'm a little curious. All you need is that touch of curiosity or a little feeling of courage to just pick up that book. Maybe you don't read it for three years, but it's still on the shelf.

I don't care. But I went out of my way. I took my face off the cover for the first time. This is my 10th book. The first time I book, my face is not on the cover. And there was a reason I put my face in the cover. for so many years. I don't need to do that anymore, but it was a calling card, truly. Honestly, it helped. Yeah. Yeah, no, definitely helped. Because I was like, oh, that's relatable.

That's someone like me. That feels accessible. In some ways, it did help. And for some people, it didn't. Right. For some people, there's a lot of people, though, would be like, oh, my God, you're so, you're like a preacher. Like, I didn't realize that, like, because they'll have false pretenses, like when I was younger even, right? Like, 20, eight years old in the cover of this book, like, people might be like, oh, what do I have to learn from her? And then they'd meet me and be like, whoa, okay, you know what I mean? Yeah. So it works in both ways.

But from a, you know, sort of growing my mission and sort of getting it out there, but now I don't need to do that. Now I just can say, this is what I'm giving you. It says what it is on the tin. Do you want it? Great. You don't want it. Cool.

You'll find it when you need it. You never want it in this lifetime. Hopefully you'll be reincarnate and it will still be in reprint. Yeah. So that's the plan. It will. I mean, yeah, I think, like, even for me, just seeing that or hearing that, because I do have resistance sometimes. Yeah.

Like, I'm not always the first to be full on board. I'm a little skeptical. Yeah. But also very accepting. And, like, things kind of happen. Willing. Yes. And things kind of happen naturally.

And then I'll be like, oh, I can do that. So I am in touch with this. Yeah. But I think, like you're saying, like having a book, like self-help, I mean, everyone knows what that means, right? When you see those words. And so what you're saying is like, you see it and you want to do it. You're going to pick it out.

You're like, I'm a yes for wanting to change. This is your chance to change your life. Okay. I'm a yes for that, right? Right. And if you're not, then you're not, then this isn't. And by the way, I don't want someone to pick up this book if they're not willing because it will piss them off.

For sure. Right. It's too. too terrifying to face the fact that we've been protecting ourselves for so long from these impermissible terrors from our childhood. And so people do not even have the capacity to witness so many of these protection mechanisms. Because those protectors are in such a perfect order in place to keep everything together. And if they are moved or focused on, whoa, I don't want to shake it up. But it's...

It's those of us who have had those cracks, those openings, those bottoms, the light starts to emerge and we want to know more. Right. And so if you haven't cracked yet or if you haven't any cracking is a good thing, right? If you haven't had those pierces of light come through, then you might not be ready to receive this, but you'll be ready when you're ready. I'm curious about how you feel about change. So I'm a strong believer in, I believe people are saying, people don't change.

I've seen people change all the time. I believe in change. The people that want it will go to any lengths to do it. Same, right? And so especially the gift of sobriety for me, I've seen millions. Not millions. That's an over-exaggeration.

But tons of people change. And then there's the ones who are more resistant to it. I recently have gotten to a point where I don't feel like I need. a rock bottom anymore to change. No, you don't. And that's something that I feel people still think, oh, I have to change their pain or I have to struggle to get this new enlightenment or reach for the self-help book. And now I'm at a place where I'm like, I don't need those hard lessons anymore to still

crave the growth. Totally. So I'm curious how that shows up in your life. Do you still need to hit your bottoms? No, I welcome. No more bottoms. Great. But I'm grateful for the bottoms. There have been many really, really low turning points in my life, but they've been the catalyst for these great awakenings. I had a psychic reading recently, and the psyche was like, I've never seen someone who's had this many dark nights of the soul and survived and thrived on the other side. And because it's not that people haven't had more extreme experiences, because of course we can always one up someone's extreme experiences with many horrific things. But it was the recovery.

and the alchemy that she hadn't seen before. And I was like, you know what? If you laid out every accomplishment externally in my life, none of it, it pales in comparison to the accomplishment of having the courage to go to the places that scare me and come out the other side. And as a result, I'm living with so much freedom. I'm living with so much faith in my spiritual connection, faith in my higher power, faith in my spirit guides, faith in my angels, faith in self, which is the most important, and just living with unwavering, unshakable faith that I'm good, that all is well, that I am being guided. And look, I've been faced along the way with really difficult, extreme experiences. We talked about them in the last show. And through that faith,

I've been able to continue to come through the other side. Does that mean that difficult things don't happen to us as humans? Of course not. No. But the more of a foundation of self that we acquire, the more free and safe we feel in the midst of those difficult moments. And so you don't need them anymore to hit new heights? No, and I'm also not so concerned about new heights anymore, right? Right, right. I'm in, I've said this a few times. It's a strange thing to say, but you know, you might say like, oh, when I get to there,

I'm in the there, I think. I'm there. I'm there. Yeah, you are. And that there doesn't mean that everything's perfect. That there doesn't mean, but that there means that I, I, I am in a new way of living. Yeah.

I am feeling very, very, and I still have two therapy sessions a week and, you know, couples and then my privates and, you know, I do tremendous amount of work because I want to stay there. Right. For sure. I want to stay here. Maintenance. Right.

And growth and continuous growth. And I'm also just, this is the choice that my soul made in this lifetime was just to keep growing. Right. That's just so cool. It's so cool. You know? Yeah.

And I don't think it comes. I don't know. It doesn't come naturally all the time to some people, myself included. And I think that hearing it and from someone like yourself is just so encouraging. Is that it's possible. Yeah. That it's possible. Yeah. If you just keep showing up for yourself, you keep committing inward. And that's why the subtitle, I felt so confident saying this is your chance to change your life. Right. Well, the thing is that I've always said, I'm like, the things work. You know? Totally. The things work. And it's kind of like, Like in A, how, like, there's a book called A New Pair of Glasses.

And they promise you, oh, a psychic shift. And then you'll experience X, Y, and Z different. And you're like, how is doing those things going to give me a different life? And you can get a different life and not feel any different. Oh, yes. Right? Right. It's nothing to do with the external.

Correct. The irony, though, is the external life just happens so naturally when the internal life is shifted. But oftentimes we think, like, well, I've got to get that relationship to be happy. I'm going to get that job to be happy. And it's like, no, it ain't going to work. It is not going to work. And that's why I've been saying that this work, this self-help work is the real manifesting flex. Because when you get to that sense of freedom inside, then just sort of effortlessly manifest.

It's just what it's, like, literally what it is. The freedom inside. That sounds so nice. I manifested you into our lives. Yeah, she did. A hundred percent. Really? Oh, yeah.

I'm a witch. You are a witch. Both of you are. Yeah. 100%. My daughter, okay, recently is telling me stories that she's predicting things that are going to happen. And I'm like, oh, you, yeah, she has the intuitive thing going on. And I've been so impressed with things she's coming back with.

And nurture that, right? Because our little ones, the veil has not lifted, right? So they're still living with that openness to the spiritual realm. And so every night I talk to my son about the angels and he sees them as, I see sparks of light as the angels. And I'm a medium. So I'm like a full-blow medium now. Oh, my God. Like I've always been a media.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like hardcore. That's going to make me cry. That's cool. That's amazing.

Yeah. I've been channeling more now than ever. And I've really just in the last maybe, I mean, for years I've been open about it. And I would always be like, well, I channel when I'm on stage or why channel when I'm writing. It's like, no, no, no. I've got full access. And I'm not using it as this traditional sense of like, like, like, if my friends are with me and something's coming through. I'll share something, but I'm not like one-on-run readings.

Right. Right. And that's not the highest and best use of me, but I am a full-blown conduit through which the spiritual realm can speak through me. And you see my left hand just went numb because that's my cue. Like people have mediums have like certain cues. Yeah. Like a tickle on the shoulder. Like, yeah. This is my cue. And it's just like a conversation with the guides myself, with you guys. We're all in the room together. Wow. So that's how do you, I have a question on that. So I believe and I have always believed that I two channel. Yeah. They'll be like say it again. I'm like, I can't. Right. Literally can't. I don't know what. That's right. I don't know what happened. It just comes through me. Yeah. I don't know why I have access to this kind of information, but I do.

But how do you enhance that ability? Yeah. How do you make it? How do you, how do you, I don't know what the word is. Yeah. You keep cleaning up inside the clear and clear and clear. you get inside the clearer your channel becomes. And so we're all mediums. We all have the capacity. And some of us, just like, you know, somebody might, you guys are actresses like you're just going to have a better talent than I might if I was going to get on, you know, get on a show. So it's like this is just sort of an innate talent. Same with mediumship, right? It's like your mediumship is, everyone has the ability. It's not like everyone couldn't go and try to act, right? But some people are just going to be more, more tuned in to that. Same thing with mediumship. We all can channel. We all are

channels. It's just some of us sort of innately, intuitively have that, that skill. Support for broad ideas comes from Blissie. Guys, I have been sleeping on my Blissy pillowcase, and I absolutely love it. Let me tell you, my hair has never looked better. If you haven't used silk, what are you doing? No, but seriously, what are you doing? Blissy silk is the best thing that you can do for your hair and skin. It reduces frizz. I need the, That tangles, and it even helps prevent thinny. And you know what else? It reduces blemishes and the appearance of fine lines.

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first order with promo code broad. Go to poshpeanut.com slash broad and use promo code broad for 20% off of your first order. That's poshpeanat.com slash broad promo code broad. And that's the thing is that I think so many people don't know how much they're channeling. Oh, yeah. Because like, it's obvious to me when I don't know where I got the information, I'm like, okay, that's obvious that that's flow, right? Whatever that flow state is, it moves through you. Someone has it in design.

They'll come in and be like, this needs to go. And it's like something takes over. Something takes over and you don't know why you know the information you just do. It can be with fashion. It could be with relationships. It's sports. You watch it all the time with sports where you're like, what is that? Yeah.

How did that happen? It's in the absence of resistance that we start to still channel here. It's in the absence of resistance that we have these just flow moments as you described it. But also, and flow moments are moments of just being in source and just being aligned. And it can come in very different ways, as you said, right? Designers or stylist or creativity, creative energy is. source energy is the energy of the universe. And so that when we're in creative flow, when we're in relaxation, our energetic system, our field is attuning to the frequency of the spiritual

realm. And then when we're in that attunement, we have access to new ideas and information and guidance and wisdom and creation and just so much more. And so the work isn't about how to how to fine-tune this external skill. It's about healing and healing and healing and clearing and clearing and clearing, because it's like a faucet, right? I'm talking a little bit faster now. That starts to happen when I channel. So we're like a faucet. And the faucet's either, you know, totally shut off because of all the blocks that we built

up against it. And the more healing we do, the more we check in. We kind of like tweak the faucet a little more. Tweak it a little more. And the more that we start to feel safer and safer inside, the faucet begins to turn on and the water begins to flow naturally. And then it's just there, right? You can be like, okay, I'm channeling.

I'm in spirit. I'm with spirit. But I'm going to be with you guys right now. And then I'm going to go to the airport later. I'm going to shut it all down. You know, so it's like it's not, it's, it's, it's how open you are. You don't even walking around open all the time either, right? But, uh, but you are tuned in all the time once you have that clarity, right?

So I could be not wide open channeling, but I could still be attuned to the environment, right? So, okay, hit just comes. Your gate is not that gate anymore. Go to that gate. You know, that kind of thing. Yes. Yes. It's all just like absorbing it all in, you know, and, and I just, I want to do what you, like, I want to be like,

I want a channel. You do channel. I do. I do. So here's the message. 100% too. So the message is this. Okay.

So both of you are doing beautiful work. Okay, your guides are really, really proud of you. They're all in this room. There's angels, there's spirits. There's guides. They're in this room. They like this room. The idea of going somewhere else isn't...

What was his name? Didn't you guys talk about maybe we were going to, like, go elsewhere? I don't actually think that is the move. Like, I think that this is important this space. Really? Maybe the move is like, remember you were talking about, like, certain energies that you don't want to bring into this space. Stop doing those podcasts.

Oh. Right. You're right. So the only people that can enter the room are the people that are, you want to bring the energy out. So the only energies you can bring in to this podcast are the energies that you'd want in this room. Like that's your litmus test, okay? That's so good. Yes.

I have full body chills. Yeah, no, no, no. There can never be. It won't really be. It doesn't. It's not good for you. It's not in the service of your system. And so it's only about bringing.

bringing in comfort anyone that you want to have on the show you have to be like would we have them in the room right that's it right don't I don't really want you to go anywhere yeah yeah like there's nowhere else like the vibration in here the the plants are angels like there's angelic like fairies and the plants and stuff like right behind you there's two plants behind you it's like I'm seeing little like almost imagery of like poking out you know the the the energy's really vivy the the the tunement for you guys is just to be unapologetic about about who you bring into the room. I love that.

And that metaphor is like, you know, who's coming into the room. Yeah. Who we bring in. And the more you do that, the show starts to pop off, pop off, pop off, right? And you start pushing this envelope a little bit more because you're so soulful. And so it's like who is in this. And it could be a conversation about menopause or it could be a conversation. But it's like, do we want that person in the room?

Right. Right. Can that work in anything? Like relationships. Do I want to bring that person in my room? Definitely. Yeah. Yeah.

100%. If you don't want the person in your bedroom. You know what the person in your room. Yeah, but it is that, like, why would we do it if it's not that? Right. We would be overriding ourselves. We would be in our logic and reason. We would be in our-

I should. Right. In fact, I just did something very similar. I stopped doing interviews. I just started doing these conversations with my producer Josh, where it's like he's my Robin Quivers and we just riff, you know? Yeah. But it doesn't say I'll never have somebody in the room.

Like, you guys are in New York, like, come to my house, come to my apartment, get in the room, you know? But it's the same thing. Like, I don't want to just do a podcast. just to do a podcast. You know, it's like, no. Right. See, that feels so right to me because I struggle with that.

And that is exactly it. Yeah. And that is where you channel because you do get a lot of gut hit. That's right. I do. She does. She gets a lot of gut hits. Don't go against them.

I know. Yeah, you got to not go against. I'm really good at like, or calling out people or whatever. So your guides are like, you know, you know, and if you're, and then you'll help her confirm her no. Yeah. And not just with the work, but also just in life, right? Like, you guys are really supportive of each other.

So like, there is this energy of like, yeah, like you be in your no. And then if you're like even slightly questioning it, don't just bring it to her, you know, just go back and forth a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we're reinforcing the no. Right. And like channeling for each other almost too a little bit. I love that. Yeah. We are so connected like that. Totally. Yeah. Sit together and like, you know, sort of just like it doesn't even be like a meditative. He just doesn't even if you have like a long walk or something. Yeah. Then sit down. They're showing me this. It's like a prescription for you. So you guys go for a hike. You come back into this room. You open your notebooks, whatever, and you actually start just like asking each other questions and then in conversation,

record the conversation. Maybe you can do it as a podcast. But you start recording it and you just start to ask each other sort of important questions and see what comes out naturally and that's you channeling a show. Or just channeling big ideas. Broad ideas. Right idea. Yeah. In full circle. Yeah. No, it's true. I love that. And you know what too? I think the more we're in touch, the stronger we get into our intuition, the more you pick up on other people channeling around you and how good it feels. Like listening to you, you know when it's true. You know, you feel it in your body. It's the same with Esther. Like when I hear, like, I'm like, how could you hear that and not feel? Right. And in the case of Esther, she's fully

incorporated, so Esther Hicks and Abraham's, she's fully incorporates the Abraham energy. So these entity, the spirits come into her and she becomes them, right? In my case, I'm speaking with them. It's sort of like a posse around me. But it's a sense of certainty. Yeah, there's no question. Yeah, it's the clarity. And you feel the resonance because you have that resonance. Right. And the more you're in that, the more we can be like, what does that feel like? And trust like, yes, no, we're there. Little girl energy. You have two girls. Two boys. I have one girl. There's like girl energy, which maybe is the two of you, right? It's like this little innocence of like, oh, I know what that it means.

So the little girls that you spoke about behind the witch, right? It's like that energy wants to come through again. Like your little girls want to dance. They want to play. They want to move. They do want to dance. And play. And play.

Yeah. Yeah. So you can't leave the room. Can't leave the room. Well, we have talked about that a bunch because we have the most fun when it's us. And we're like playing and creative and all of that kind of stuff. That's the show, guys. People want to hear you.

And then you only invite into the room the people that you want to hear. Or that they want to play with. That they want to play with. Right. They want to play with. That's so beautiful. There are many. Also, Olivia, book, book, book, book, book, book.

So I want to write a book. I want to be your apprentice. Okay. I'll give you my, I have a course called the Best Seller Masterclass. I'll give you the book. I'll give you the course, both of you. What does it look like for you to write a book? Take us through that. I know you have a hard out. Yeah. I mean, I actually just, like, I have this new book out, self-help, and I just this past week was like in Topanga, like finishing another mini book like for Audible.

I have just so many ideas. And so I think that just like we were saying before, it's when you have such direct line to spirit, spirit means you're inspired. When you're inspired words flow naturally. So it just is effortless. Like the creation of your art becomes effortless because you're in that. that flows. So people say, like, I have writers block. You don't have writers block. You have an energy block. You have a belief system block. You know, you're, you have a story in your head block. And so the more you, you attune and attune and attune and get clearer and clearer inside, even the more that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, it's not even just a faucet. It's like a spiket. All that comes through. Do you type it? Do you type it? I type it. I believe that I really did not do well in school. I was very, very, very behind ADHD and just like trauma response.

neurodivergence pretty much. And so, yeah. And, but one of the things that I learned how to do really well, oddly, was to type. And I know that was God's plan. Because I can type, type, and when I'm typing, it's just t-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-chall. It's just channeling through, channeling through, type-thead, type-thead, type-tit. Just so fast. Yeah. And do you show up for it every day? No, no, not at all. I mean, when I'm writing a book and I'm, like, deep in writing a book, I try to, I mean, I've written 10 books in 14 years. So I've had to show up, like, really, consistently. But usually what I would try to do is in the morning with a cup of coffee, have a like an hour and just go. But it hasn't always been like that. And this weekend that I

spent in Topanga writing for two days was the first time in my life that I wasn't working on something else will simultaneously writing in the same few hours or whatever. I was just sitting down to download. And that's where I met now. That's the only way I want to write now. Just sitting down and downloading. Yeah. And creating space for it. Like instead of spending a year writing a book, I want to go away for a week and write a book. You know, Because I can do that. Of course, I can still be working on it throughout the year, but I don't want to be like doing writing books while I'm, you know, just doing a product launch of my app or something. Yeah.

No, no. Got it. Yeah. And do you dump it all and then clean it up and then it's edited? So I used to work with an editor up until this book self-help. Self-help I did. My publishers were like, you graduated. Like, you don't need a.

So you have your editor at the publishing house. But I used to have like a side editor as well that would like, sweep it up. So I'd write a chapter. They'd sweep it up. Then I'd go back into it. I didn't do that. This last book, they were like, you graduated your writing's great. Like, just, just do it on your own. And so I did that. And then my husband always has the last great, really strong edit before it goes to my editor at the publishing house. Got it. So I would always have like the outside editor plus my husband, then it would go to the public. Now it was just me, my editing capabilities, then my husband, then the publishing house. Wow. That's so cool. It's amazing. It really is. I love it.

By the way, I'm not a trained writer. I have really, really didn't have any literary background. I studied theater in college. Like, I'm, there was no, I didn't have a sentence together. I couldn't spell for shit. I'm a self-taught writer. That's me. But you have that thing where from day one, when I witnessed you, whether it was reading your book or seeing you want to talk, I was like, oh, she channels. She's got it. She's got the access to the wisdom. It doesn't matter. Sentence structure. Someone else is going to help you figure that. I'm in the same way. And also, but the less, the more stripped down it is, and the less arty and wordy and, you know, just over the top it is in terms of the craft of being a creative writer, the better it is for my reader. And, yes, I've added more color and more rich storytelling. But I'm now almost having to keep pulling back more simplicity because I don't want to get too colorful. But not colorful, but, like, you want to have people have an experience of the stories and not.

have to be burdened by the words. You're direct. Yes. It gets right. In itself, help setting, not in like a memoir or, you know. No, no, no. But like it's very, there's not a lot of fat. No, it's cut the fat.

Yeah. Cut the fat. Yeah. That is actually a real important message for writers. Cut the fat. You don't need it. And that to me says I am enough. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I am enough and what I have to share is enough. That's right. That's right. Your book. There you go. I'll help you. I'll definitely be like, I'm going to do the whip it up.

We're going to whip it up. Oh my God, you guys are. I just felt it. It's not even a question. You felt it. And that's her intuition. Yeah, yeah, you are. You are.

I do get hits for sure. Trust them. Yeah. Yeah. This was amazing, an amazing conversation. We're so excited about your book. I have to go to an airport. I know.

I would have seen for another hour. I probably go to. Yeah. I should have just showed up earlier. Next time we'll meet for a retreat. Please. Can we go on a retreat? Let's go on a retreat.

And then we'll bring our microphones and we'll do a little bit of a, of a. Let's do it. But it won't even be like for a purpose. We'll just record and then we'll see how we want to use it. Oh my God. No, we should. Forget that part. That part just me being in my creative force and saying like, let's just make sure

everyone can hear the wisdom. But let's just go retreat. Let's go like get it out of cold springs or something. I was just watching a hot spring. I was doing cold. I was doing cold plunges. Cold plunges that a hot spring. Cold plunges, hot springs.

No, I'm 100% we're doing it. I'm down. Let's go to like Big Sur or something. Easy. I've never been. Go to Esolet. Isn't that crazy? Let's go to Essela.

I've never been to Esseline. Done. Oh my God. Literally done. This is wonderful. Done. I was just watching that movie of the Laura Dernan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the writers were cheat and I was like, I've got to go. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing it. We're doing it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Gabby, thank you so much.

We're so excited. I love you. I love you so much. And I'm so grateful to be welcomed into the room and to thank all the guides and the angels in the room for protecting the room and not letting anybody in that's not, not that there are anyone that's bad, but just anyone that's not exciting and playful and that the girls want to play with. Yes. Yeah. We love that. And we like to take it to these places too. Yeah. And that is something that I do think this room helps. Yeah. It does. Yeah. The room helps.

Yeah. And it won't ever have to be an issue or a burden or anything like that. Right. Yeah. I love it. Love it. Love you. Thank you so much.

That was a head gum podcast.