Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Ian Harding on Honesty, Leaving Los Angeles, and Our Little Secret

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Ian Harding (Pretty Little Liars ,Our Little Secret) joins Rachel and Olivia today for a lively conversation covering a range of topics, including favorite foods, honesty, career insights, relationship dynamics, and his holiday film Our Little Secret, now streaming on Netflix. Don’t forget to follow Ian on Instagram at @ianmharding!Broad Ideas is sponsored by Mint Mobil. To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/ideas Broad Ideas is sponsored by Quince. Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to Quince.com/ideas for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!Broad Ideas is sponsored by Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS an additional 30% off when you shop a blissy.com/RachelBroad Ideas is sponsored by Thrive Causematics. Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausematics.com/BROADSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Why did I just do that? I thought you were going to say, why did we name it back? Well, let's get into it. Today we have Ian Harding from... Our Little Secret. I purposely am saving it to watch on my airplane ride because my favorite thing on airplanes

is watching a rom-com. Same. Right? Yes. I only watch rom-coms. on airplanes. It's so comforting. Yeah. Makes you feel safe. I still cry, though.

Just in general? Yes. All the time. Let's welcome me in. Sometimes when the world's sick inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that I make you.

Because people die. Hi. Wait, are we recording? Oh, my God. Hi. It's early for us, just so you know. Oh, right. It is.

It's, well, actually, what is it? It's nine? It's not that early. It's just early for us. Like, we normally start recording at like 11. So 9 a.m. means, like, dropping the kids off. Yeah. Doing the whole thing, getting here.

Getting into it. Getting into it. Right. And so you just did this. Like the seats are still warm in your car from them sitting in it. Correct. Yes. I still have her morning breakfast in the car.

Is it in the dish that you put it in? Absolutely. Well, actually, it's, yeah, it spills out many, many times. I don't recommend peanut butter situation in the car on the way to school. What kind of situation did you give her? Well, this morning, let me tell you guys. I know you really care about this. care about this stuff.

I used to when I was pregnant with my daughter, eat a brown rice cake with peanut butter and banana on it and honey. Yeah. Yeah, delicious. And I gave it to her this morning and she loved it. Sorry, this is like a big moment. No, that is a big thing. Because I have a two-year-old with, you know, two and some change.

And he is, you know, he's, when we first started giving him solids, he would eat like crazy good things. Like he would eat salmon and like broccoli and we're like oh my god we've got like we've got this you know unicorn child and now he has to have a like a popsicle in his hand. Yeah. Eat the other food. And so now I'm hoping that we can get back to a place where he, you know, I can give him a brown rice rice cake with a beaner butter and he doesn't need a popsicle as well. Yeah. I don't know about that. I don't know if you'll ever get back to it. I just like sharing it just to be like, my kid ate a brown rice. She eats everything. And you will get there.

I was for a second, I know you said solids, but in my mind, because he's only two, you were like salmon. I'm like, you blended salmon and he ate. Like in my mind, I went puree. Gross. It's nine. Again, thankfully, he was like a year. He was about a year during the strike. And so I had a lot of time on my hands And so did my wife And so we could just like Cook him things and you know Cook it to a plate It was like very soft and then he'd

And then we'd like blend up chicken and apples And things like that And that's all the early videos Are like most of it getting on his face Oh wow You had the time though We had the time And now I'll throw a frozen echo waffle at him

Like what's his name? This is what Well I actually haven't said his name I know that's such a dushy thing to say. You're such a douche. Or actually I do the thing where I just make up. I do kind of like messing with like media outlets. I'll be like, well, Seamus.

Yeah. Like his name is not Seamus. But like then it'll pop up on BuzzFeed or something. Like, you know. Well, do you want to do it again and just say something crazy? What's his name? His name is Marcus Aurelius. That's good.

And because we're big, big fans of the philosopher. her and gladiator. And this is getting off to a rough start. I already sound like a pretentious asshole. I'm like, I make them salmon. And I'm making salmon and I won't say it's me. No, you're awesome. You're great.

Yeah. We're so happy to talk to you, by the way. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And I know we have a mutual beloved friend in common in the form of Lucy Hale. Lucy. She's our person. She's our person.

This morning. And she's like, you're going to love the pod. And I was like, don't tell me. me what I'm going to do. And we have a nice relationship where we, we send each other memes and we do things like that. And then every once in a while, I love, oh, I love trolling them on Instagram. It's so much fun.

Oh, give us an example. Trolling who? I'll be in the comments section and her and also like Shea Mitchell. Oh, got it. You know, who has this thing where she'll post, you know, she'll post like videos. of her and like her luggage line, which is amazing. And she just sent me a bunch of free stuff.

I really love it. But I don't know why she's always like wet. I think it's that like sopping kind of hot look. And I'm like, you should start making like base umbrellas or something because you are drenched

always. A base umbrella. She always looks so good too. Like every single thing I see from like, my God. Yeah. She is I hope this, well,

this might not, she might not appreciate this, but she is one of these people because I've, you know, if I'm in L.A., I'll see her and I've been over to her house at like 7 a.m. And she walks out, like no makeup, no anything. And even I am like,

fuck you. Like she. It's fantastic. And then I look like as if I'd been laying and like standing water for several days, you know. Like pruny? Just coming out pruny. You know? Like I'm starting to decompose.

I know. People like that. It's a thing. Lucy's like that too. I mean, her phase is you can get lost in it. It's just such a. Fun face. Yeah.

And her spirit. We just, we couldn't love her more. We think she's one of the most special of all. Little humans. Yeah. Yeah. I think she's also had such a wonderful journey too. I mean, wonderful isn't like deeply painful and she's had to do a lot of work.

But, you know, especially over the past couple years and the sort of the journey that she's taken, couldn't be more proud of her, you know, because it takes a lot to come out and say like, nope, here was the problem. Yep. And here's what I did to, you know, overcome it and then live with it every day. And I think it adds such a depth to her when she could have been given her looks and her, you know, following and fashion sense. Like she could have just been a sort of run-of-the-mill starlet. And I think that she now feels like a whole human and like a woman.

And it's a joy to watch. Yeah. It's hard to become a whole human. That's actually so weird that you guys say that too because the book I'm listening to right now is called The Way of Integrity. And it's all about coming back to being whole. And so when you said that, I was like, wow, that's exactly what I'm focusing on right now is like, how do you take all those parts of you? And like if we use Lucy for an example, it's like, yes, she has all those beautiful, glitzy glamour parts about her. But there was the other fragmented pieces and it's like she's grabbed those back.

and now she's way more powerful as a woman because she's whole, right? How did you find this book? My therapist. Oh, fun. Yeah. So what was the reason for getting into it or for? I don't remember what I said and she was like, if you check, I also devour all of those kind of books.

So she said, have you read the way of integrity? And then I was listening to this woman, Martha Beck, give a speech. And I thought we should talk about this at some point because she was talking about white lies. And she was talking about every time you tell a white lie, you're disconnecting from the light. You're disconnecting from your truth. You're actually fragmenting yourself. And the only way to become back to being whole is to be completely honest. Wow.

Yeah. She's always on me about any kind of lie or white lie. lie. And like, look, I definitely... I'm about to give you one right now. No, but especially with kids, too, like, it's closed. I'm, you know, but it's a white lie. I don't do it. I know she doesn't do it. Here's what she said, though, Rachel. They wanted you to listen to this, and you just happen to be a witness to this on accident. I'm a liar. I'm a pretty little liar. I wanted you to hear this, though, because she said what happens when she said most people within the 10 minutes, their first meeting, they will tell three lies.

What? Yeah. And when you stop doing that, what happens is you turn on the part of yourself that's present and creative because you're seeking truth. So instead of saying the store is closed, we're not going to go, you're then going, hmm, how can I say this in a way that's truthful and not going to hurt the person? So it's like, do I look fat in these genes? Mm-hmm.

You want to tell them they look fat in the jeans. But you don't want to say, yeah, you look fat. Well, how would you handle that? Like, let's say your wife comes to you with something like that. Well, you know, oh man, like eight things have been said that I feel are so important. And that like, you know, the white lie thing, especially like being somewhat in the public eye. But I imagine like when people on the other side of the Zoom call have had to deal with like having to lie for safety. to lie for um to protect both ones children as well as you know i've done the thing where you

you you get an encounter i mean this is a silly example but like somebody who recognizes you and and they're like you know um what part of town if you stay i don't know and and i don't want to say like that's fucking creepy don't ask me that you're like that's not really my personality so i'm like oh i'm actually over here totally not true i'm the opposite direction and right um but i think if my because I mean she has asked me this question my wife

if she's asked me like Joyler Fabness she doesn't really she's I think one of the reasons we got together and have been together for so long

it'll be 15 years in August oh wow we delayed the like the marriage thing for a long time because we're like that's going to be a lot of effort neither of us wants to do that

like you know planning a wedding and yeah right we just want to get married So in the end, like we were kind of like, oh, yeah, like, isn't it like a tax write off or something? Like, yeah, we should probably do that. But that she was always like pretty radically and occasionally offensively on us.

And I feel because she is that way, not only with me and with people in her life, that I can do the same thing with her. And I think, again, it's like, who are we having this conversation? with, you know, if, if, I think if one of you stood up right now and said, do I look fat, these genes, I'd be like, this feels like a test. And I, you know, and I, I don't know how I answer that, but with, like, with her, I think I can say, you know, first I'd probably do some, like, a joke or something like that and say, like, look, we have both been consuming a lot of butter. There's no shame, you know, we're, but then there's also, like, I think. I think there have been other pants that have been more flattering,

but at the same time, it is your body and it's beautiful. And whatever you would like to do, you can totally do. I did say once, you know, that people would kill to be as fat as you are. And implying that, like, you know. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. And she, she, like, ran with it for a while. The joke was like, so I'm so fat.

And I'm like, no, no, no, wait. And like, you know, but. The takeaway. I think if you're able to be super honest with somebody, then that's great. I do have a hard time being honest with everyone because especially it's very difficult. We all do. Yeah. Right?

But she said, this woman said she did a whole year without a single lie. And I've tried my very best. You know that. It's like a practice. She really does. Where I'm like, I can find the truth. I can find it somewhere, only because I like to be comfortable in myself. And the more we lie, the more we fracture our self-trust.

And that's not a great feeling. No, no. Do you find this harder to do in L.A.? I'm from L.A. I know no different. Okay, okay. But I will ask you this. Being honest. Do you think your wife is like?

slightly cooler than you. Oh, I don't think I know. Because I was like diving. I was like, wait, she's so cool. Like, could you be that cool? No, I show up and people are like, oh, Sophia brought her accountant to this party. Not that accounts aren't cool. God bless accounts because I can't add.

But, yeah, no, she's, she feels like she's out. She's from a different time. And then especially as, you know, our parenthood journey has progressed, it's been really inspiring and also humbling for me to watch her sort of balance both things and to jump into motherhood in a way that was, not that it wasn't like sort of expected, but I was the one that was like, I was excited. Like I read, I think, bringing up Bebebe Bebe. Like five years ago before our son was even conceived. Right. And I was very excited about it. And I think she knew, understandably, to be blunt, that because of my work and because

I have to, I mean, I'm sitting here in Toronto right now, that a lot of the, it might, whenever I was gone, it would fall to her, you know, to handle this. And that is, I'm sure this is not revelatory to either one of you. You know, that's a lot of work. And even with me trying to be as present as possible, at times I almost feel like I'm getting in the way because she's just, she's able to keep multiple things in her mind. while also trying to grow as a person and admit her own faults and admit her insecurities, especially as a mom, you know? Like, she didn't babysit anybody growing up.

Like the first, like, infant she held might have been her own. Wow. And so that's been, that's, you know, we've, we've, we've, been very honest with each other the past two years. And that sometimes is like brutal. Yeah. But I think as long as we just have as much compassion from one another, just acknowledge that like you're both doing like what we need to do right now. It's going to pass. And like they get, you know, he gets older. He goes to school for longer. Right now he's in like a glorified daycare center, you know, but like it's just going to be this is it. This is just. You're just. You're a

Just in the trenches. Just in the trenches. And as much as it may, you might think that it'd be good to like just kind of lie about this one thing. Like for a while when she was really stressed, I would feel, I would try and not burden her with more of my stress, especially if it was like a real champagne problem. Right. Yeah, really. Yeah, or, you know, oh, God, there was something that, like, as it left my mouth, I'm like, what a piece of shit. That's something, I forget what it was, but she, you know, he was sick and my mom who lives in the area that couldn't help and because there was another thing she was doing.

And so it was just her. And, and I think she wanted to take this one class at like a nearby arts center. and it was the sort of like form of printing. You know, she's a editorial and fashion photographer and she was like, I want to figure out how to do this. And I was in New York doing press for something else

and I really wanted to go see my friends play that he's in. And, and but if I went, she would not be able to go to this class. And I already am mad at you. Yeah, me too. And I was just feeling, but I had been like bouncing around

from like Toronto, New York, D.C. and all that. And I was moving around. I was like, you know what? I just want to see my friends playing. I don't know if he's going to be in it for much longer. And that was my thought process. Yeah.

Even though she had been on 24-7. Yeah. And I said something like, what if I left at one in the morning to get back down to D.C. And then you could head to the class, which started at like seven or something like that. And she went, let's think about this for a second through like gritted teeth. And as soon as it left my mouth, I was like, you asshole. So you're saying you will get four hours of sleep, show up and take over the parenting thing with no sleep. And as opposed to just coming home the night before, maybe seeing the play later because you're going to be back in New York in like two weeks.

and and then I could go to this class because I just want to do it. Just this one thing for myself so I can be something other than just, mom. As wonderful as a title as that is. Yeah. And I said, I was like, yeah, I was understandably, I was like, but I really want to see it now. And she was very patient with me, but said, I am a little hurt that you,

did not recognize and didn't sort of immediately jump to make that happen. Right. And she's like, I know you're not a mind reader, but like, you know. I'm telling you. Yeah. To have enough. Yes, to have enough awareness of like what I'd been experiencing. And that as soon as like, yeah, it hit me.

And I was like, yeah, absolutely. And I, you know, I was on the next plane. I went home. Support for broad ideas comes from MintMobile. You know, after years of fine print. contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers. If we've learned anything, Lou, is that there's always a catch. So when I heard that all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, okay, what's the catch? But after talking to them,

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get for themselves. That little bit of luxury that they don't know they're missing. For quality gifts at an affordable price, my go-to is Quince. I ordered stuff for everybody I love. Because everything from Quince is lovable. Quince lets you treat your loved ones. and yourself to everyday luxury at an affordable price. I might have treated myself, too. What did you get? I got sweaters. I love their sweaters.

My fisherman's sweater is still my favorite. Did you know you can also get flatware? No. I know. I'm obsessed with flatwear right now. Honestly, it's my favorite place to go to for gifts, including gifts for myself. And I love that you can get one for everyone on your list. It's a one-stop shop.

Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. go to quince.com slash ideas for 365 day returns, plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash ideas to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash ideas. I don't know, but it brings up like communication just in general. Right. Because I think a lot of times women expect men to read their minds. I mean.

And vice versa. And vice versa. And vice versa. Yeah. Like you just expect, like, you know exactly how I'm feeling. You know the emotions, whatever. And like, you should just know, this is what you need to do. But a lot of times, that is not the case. And I feel like you would have been at that play had she not communicated to you. That's really fucked up. Because I hadn't, because I hadn't thought of all of the components of the situation. I thought like, well, no, I'll still be home. Like I can absolutely make it home 100%. But her point was like, wait a minute,

you will have no sleep. That's hard. And that's if you get home on time. Right. Yeah. You don't know. Right. And it could screw me over.

You'll be exhausted. Mm-hmm. And you've been going for like several months already. Like just think about the whole situation. And so, you know, I think like anything in marriage. it becomes it's it's more intense like we were always like very honest and communicative and all that but yeah once you add that third person yeah it changes the game it changes the game and and we also like we weren't those people that said something like you know well I don't want to change our lives

you know like we right we knew it was gonna I was ready for that because I didn't want to do the like constant LA hustle thing that I felt like I was doing like I was working all the time but yeah I feel like dead inside. So like, you know, I was ready for like, please take over my life. Yeah, please change my life. Yeah. For sure. And it has for the most part.

But yeah, I'm rammed. I was just going to say that was a perfect example of her being in her integrity. Because that's micro truth, honest. You could say, no, it's fine. Just go see your friend and then harbor it and then take it out on you in a passive aggressive way or be a victim or be a martyr. But instead, she was honest, which is an indication of self-integrity, right? And then you sat with it and you're like, okay, for me to be an integrity, I can't be an asshole.

I got to come home, right? And so that's a demonstration of you both doing it. I want to circle back to the L.A. part for a second. So you're from Germany originally, right? So this is another thing where I throw people off unintentionally. Oh, it's not real. Well, no, it is real. I mean, well, yes and no.

And that I was born there and I lived there for three years, but I was born on like a military base because both my parents were in the military. And then I moved back to the D.C. area and just lived there until I went to college and then out to L.A. for 12 years. So I was, you know, it's always very disappointing to the border folks in Germany when I was. go back that they look in my passport and they're like oh and then they ask me a bunch of questions in german and i'm like i'm sorry i'm dumb like that is real but i left when i was young but i'm not right i'm not and so they're very angry at me um but yeah no i i i lived outside of dc which is actually where i live now um because i was in l.a for 12 years and then just kind of couldn't do it anymore um talk about that because you said something that you're like do you're like do you're like do you

find it harder in L.A.? What about L.A. do you think it would be harder to live an honest life? What compelled you to move out of Los Angeles? Yeah. And I realize I'm talking to two Angelinas. That's okay.

We don't, you know, we understand. An awareness. And yeah, we get it. It's usually also not the people that are from here. Yeah, yeah. That can make it like the worst. Yeah.

And no, and you know what? I think if, also if like if you're family structure, your roots are in any place, you almost kind of long for it. Like when I tell people that like, oh, I love D.C., they're like, why? And I'm like, yeah, if you ignore like the politics and the government stuff, it's, it's a delightful place. But, but to me, it's because I have my friends there. My parents are there. You know, I've got family.

Like, it's, I know it. You know? And it's, it's been home. It's always been the thing that I went back to, you know, like even the fact that I was living in L.A. for 12 years. Like, I don't think we ever celebrated Christmas there. I always came back. You know, like it was always, I was just, that was just, you know, little, little things that would kind of show that this place was not my home, this place was.

I think I felt at in LA at times, especially in the entertainment industry, that there was no off button. And that if I wanted to be just an actor, that was somehow complacent, you know? And I really started to doubt myself and my skill level because the sort of environment around me, like everybody that I talked to was doing at least four things at once. And especially, especially in that like young Hollywood scene, which like Rachel, yeah, you just grimace a little bit. But like everybody is like working for that thing. And like the hell on earth is being on a set with a bunch of actors in their 20s. And there's the cast chairs.

And one of you gets an audition for a big thing. And then everybody's like, oh, my God, so happy for you. And like the shit talking that happens is that person to me. You know, and eventually, like, we grow out of it and we realize, like, you should be a person before you're an actor. But I just, it kind of just became too much. And then, you know, I think 2020 kind of broke me. You know, and and it was always that thing that I think a lot of Californians forget that most of the U.S. does not catch fire at the end of the summer. And that's just like, you know, like one of our friends is from Long Beach.

And she said something like, well, you guys get blizzards. And I'm like, I don't, I don't think blizzards take out whole towns, you know, and I mean, and fill the sky with ash, you know. And so, but I talk about it now. for a while I had this like real aversion to it. And you know when you're like really like you, you, after while it wasn't about L.A. It was about my own feelings of like a sense of place and value. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. We get that. And so, you know, after a while, like now that I've been out of L.A., I realize like, no, L.A. is a city. It's just, it's a place. You know, it has its problems like every other city. and I was projecting onto it, that it was just like some irredeemable hellhole. There's aspects that are pretty toxic.

And that's a universal truth when it comes to the entertainment industry that you can't avoid. And what that does to people can be a little bit soul-sucking, right? And then bumping up against that all the time, it makes you question, who am I and what am I doing here? Is this really it? And I think sometimes moving away from it and getting perspective of when you're in L.A., you think this is life, right? Yeah, yeah.

And then you step outside of it and you're like, nobody cares. No one cares. About any of you at all. It's only when you're here that you get wrapped up in that thing, but you remove yourself. And you can see, I remember going to Pittsburgh for the first time and being like, where are all the billboards? It's all like, do you need a. attorney. Did you? And my husband was like, what do you mean? Where are the billboards? And I was like, well, why is it all like personal injury lawyers? And he's like, did you think that they had Hollywood

movie posters and other towns? Yeah. I have never, that thought has never crossed my mind. Because we've been raised in it. Like, it's just like normal. They don't have movie? No. Billboards and none. Not one. Are you sure? They have personal attorney injury law. Do they have movie billboards in D.C.? I have not seen many. Usually what you see is like the sides of bus stops. Have you ever thought of this? Has this crossed your mind at all?

Have you ever noticed? Like this has never entered my mind. If it's been an unconscious thing, I really, I love that like I knew that I was, if when I moved back to D.C., like the movie industry was not the main. Right. That's what I mean. It's government. I'm like, oh, fantastic.

So, yeah, there's, I'm sure that if I worked for, you know, the main. man, I would look all over DC and see, you know, because I can't even hear it. Like if I, you know, a little while ago I was home and my wife and I went to a restaurant in Georgetown. And I remember hearing like the conversation next to us was these two guys in suits. And what they're talking about is like lobbying to get a bill through Congress. And I realized like that would make me cringe if it was like, look, you know, we can't get global distribution for our film.

Like, you know, I would kind of gag there. But for them, this is, it's the same thing. And so, but for me, I'm like, oh, isn't that interesting? You know, people care about different things. Care about different things. Right. And I feel like after a while in L.A., I needed to kind of extricate myself from that and feel a little bit like, feel like a person again.

And now that I am, now that I am out, like I, I, I almost long for it in the way that, like, if you had a, like, a friend from your 20s, a lover. That was just kind of, yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But now you've grown up and you don't live together anymore. Yeah. And it's like, wow, I miss them. Like, that's great. Like, you go and you have a great time. And then they start kind of like, say, by the way, like, I know you've had that guest house.

You want to, and you're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And you have to, like, you know, get out. Yeah. But it's, now I miss it and I'm excited to come back at some one. What part of L.A. did you live in? I lived all over. I was in, for a while I was in like, you know, the Wilshire area when I first got there. Oof. Like, you know, like tarpits. Like, that's where we got our dogs. Was it adopted to the tarpits? That's where I lived when I was born, actually. In the tarpits, no. She is a

Willie Mammoth. Really? Did you see, you know, there's that Ralph's that's that's on Wilshire. Yeah. That's like, yeah. Like, if I opened my window and spat, like it would land on. On Ralph's. Which is just, I know, graphic image to describe that. But we like graphic images.

That's good. So true. We just really like the graphic image. Really describe. And then we were in Eagle Rock for five years. Oh, cool. Didn't you like that better than Wilshire? A lot better.

Yeah. It would, yeah. Not to crap on. Well, sure. No, I mean, but for, you know, domesticating. Yeah, we drove through that area the other day and went, could you even imagine living here now? Like, now that we have kids and it's just not something I would ever do on purpose.

No. Would either of you ever leave? I did leave for three years. And I went kicking and screaming, like to a little town up north. And then had an amazing time. I constantly. I'm looking for a farm. Sorry, that's just me. Oh, really? Like a California farm? Or you're looking No, like, you know, I don't know. Anywhere? Anywhere. Anywhere farm-like with some goats.

Our dream is to have like a nice proper commune. Oh, compound, not commune. Colt. No, we really do. We want a lot of property and for us all to live on it. Because that's how it should be, you know? Everyone kind of helping each other out. That is my dream. Like homestead. Now I say all this, I think, you know, I feel like I'm built for it in a lot of ways, but then in other ways, like, I need my like Target or Walmart or whatever it may be nearby. You could do it adjacent? Adjacent. But do you have a desire to like churn your own butter and? I have.

I, yes. As a matter of fact, I am a trad wife. At heart. I have, I do love that. stuff. And I have spent a lot of time on a farm, like, farm outside, like, isolated in my adult life. And that aspect of it, like, I love it. But then I will say because, like, you know, you're talking about home and I did grow up in L.A. And every time as the plane is, like, landing and you kind of see the lights of the city, there's a feeling that just, like, takes over. And I'm like, home. Yeah.

But I do now, like, I live, I guess you could say I live a little outside of L.A. Like, I'm not in L.A. Yeah. So even that just slightly removed makes me feel like a whole person. Yeah. I felt that way like even being in, I forget why we were there, but like at one point we were in Topanga for a couple of days. And I was like, I mean, other than the fact, other than the fact this is going to probably burn down at some point. Right. I loved it. I was like, oh my God, this is fantastic, you know? You feel like you're in the country. Yeah. And yet, you know, depending on traffic, you could be. in the thick of things. Right.

Like very easily. I think, you know, it's funny you say the whole thing about farms because especially during the pandemic, I have a lot of family in New Hampshire of all places, which is quite literally like fully diagonally as far away as you can get from L.A. and still be in the lower 48. But, and I think it was just like I also had that. So I got very into gardening and all these other sort of like, felt like tangible things. like tangible creativity

because I think sometimes with this industry like you you know you're making things but like you know or you're you're taking meetings or you're making calls and it's all kind of intangible you can't and like I don't know

but if you churn your own butter and then eat it like it's you know I really feel like I'm unfortunately I feel like I'm like moving you more towards the tradwife thing and I'm like really not like No please move me full full full She would love to like bake strudel all day. She's called, it's always the strudel.

Strudel. I'm not a bread baker. I would like to be. See, I also am the person that's like, I'm going to go to the farmer's market every week and get my fresh bread with no preservatives. Like these are the thoughts I have, but I don't do it. Oh, you don't? Sometimes I do.

But I mean, not like consistently like this is my thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Right, because when you start the commune slash cult, there will be the person. and that goes on horseback to the local, you know, I love this. Give me a horse. Give me a horse.

Give me a mason jar with cream. You've got butter. You just shake it for a very long time in it. And then you get those good arm muscles. Oh, yeah. Like shake weights. It's like, oh, me. Shake weight.

Oh, my God. Do you remember those? It's like the first shake weight. Let me just do this gesture. Shake weight. I think, yeah, I got that for like my 29th birthday. It's a joke. You got an actual shake weight.

I got the actual shake. Wait, oh, my God, imagine if I still have it. Let's look. We should find it. Or churn some butter. Yeah. Just shake it. I remember once seeing your stepmom and being like, God, your arms are so beautiful.

And she's like, I just garden. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's what those muscles are meant to do. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Like, you're supposed to be functionally. No, I think, I think she was very athletic. it growing up and so naturally a lot of it's there but she is a very serious gardener she's really yeah real

deal like even has her own like plots and like public gardens you know growing things like that's not at her house yeah oh i i got so excited i found out two days ago the community garden near my house i've moved up on the wait list like oh to get a plot i'm so like i'm salivating and and and i know i know this is like But maybe that was the whole point of leaving LA is like you can still have some success with like film and TV and still be like the thing that really matters to you the most. It's like, oh my God. Support for broad ideas comes from Blissie. I am so obsessed with my Blissie pillowcase. I've been sleeping on my Blissy pillowcase.

Gosh, honestly, I think it's for at least a year now. My hair has never looked better. Don't you agree? I do. You need to agree. Filkey. like the pillowcase. It really is.

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Really? Yeah. For her skin or her hair? For her hair and her skin. That's amazing. Blisssey's been feeding. on Good Morning America, The View, Live with Kelly and Mark, and dermatologist recommended. Everybody loves them. They have over 2 million fans, and you could be next. Because you're a listener,

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Please do. Please do. Because one of the most annoying things in the world is when you wash your face and then you have raccoon eyes and you can't get the mascara off and it stains and makes you look like you have dark circles. Yeah, I used to never wash my eyes at night because of that. Legitimately you can and it just comes off and there's none of the. that. It's really the best. And I find this time of year with the holidays, there's more parties to go to, more makeup looks, and Thrive has made it so easy. I have on the eyeshadow pencil right now. You have the eyeshadow pencil on? I love the eyeshadow pencil. I use all of the colors. They go on so smooth. Brighten up your holiday look with Thrive Cosmetics. Luxury Beauty that gives back. Right now,

you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at ThriveCosmetics.com slash broad. That's ThriveCosmetics, C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S dot com slash broad for 20% off your first order. I was going to say, do you think there's a correlation between, see, I'm going to go back to the honesty. Yeah. Because that's all I can think about right now. But you moving was an honest choice. That was what your truth was. You wanted to go home.

You wanted to be outside of this. And you took a chance and you took a risk and you did what was true for you. do you think there's a correlation between that and then I don't know how wildly successful this latest movie is but it's pretty bananas right in a way I don't know have you experienced anything like this since pretty little liars like do you see a correlation between being like I'm fine to leave I'm going to go do this thing elsewhere and be in touch with myself and then it's almost like you're gaining more and more success from that Oh, 100%.

Because I think I was spending so much time doing what I felt I should be doing. Like I think should, one of the only times in my life I've thought about getting a tattoo was the word should on the bottom of my foot so I can step on it every day. Wow. It's such a shitty word because, you know, it's implying something you don't want to do but is either forced upon you. was culturally appropriate. And so, you know,

again, sort of feeling like, and this is really difficult because especially after pretty little liars ended, you know, it was, I loved it and I was so grateful for it.

I would do it again in a heartbeat. But it was a teen drama. Yeah. And those can be difficult to shake. I, Rachel like shakes. Yeah. You know,

and, correct. And I'm just, and, and, and so, So and after a while I felt even though I was like auditioning, taking meetings, doing all this. I'm like I also had like a very like actor, normal actor experience, which is like you do the pilot doesn't go.

You do the movie. You're cut out of it. You know, you get close to the play and then they replace it with a movie store like that kind of thing. So so that started to affect me and I thought, well, you know, maybe I should do these other things. Like maybe I maybe I should like I need to start a YouTube channel or I need to. I need to write a screenplay. I need to write a screen. And you start a podcast.

Which I was doing, you know? And and and I remember like thinking, you know, what if what if I could just like, what if I could just be an actor? Is that enough? And like, and then you don't. If the industry isn't responding to you, you don't think it's enough. And and, you know, and so I think. the move allowed me to be what I wanted to be, which is like a dad and an actor.

And because I wasn't, my mind was not like filled with all these other things that I should be doing. I was able actually like when I would get something, I could really focus on it. Right. And suddenly, I mean, also there's then other things like the, in fact that I like,

aged into myself a little bit more. I remember a cast and director recommending that I start smoking. Stop it. What? Yeah, and she, like, we both laughed, and then she kind of, like, held my gaze. And I was like, oh, she's serious. Because, and she said it. She was like, I feel like there's something here.

I'm like, oh, that's good. Oh, good. That's a compliment. And she goes, but you look like an infant. And so you won't really work meaningfully until you're about 35. Oh, my God. And at that time, I was 27. Ugh.

And so I was like, well, I don't want to smoke. So, you know, I think it was all those things of like I was able to concentrate on what I was doing. And I also no longer needed that job. And because, I mean, D.C. isn't like super affordable. But because of where I'm living in my sort of family history there and whatever, like, it was, it made more sense. And because I was able to like focus on that, I think I was able to audition better. I take meetings and be like really present and not, you know, needy. And so I think, yeah, it's like a direct correlation.

Now, you know, am I doing like Oscar. were their performances, no. But it's still, at least it feels honest to bringing it back to like what you were saying. Yeah. And it's also, I mean, it's also, yes, right? Like you can have the mediest role of your life. And you can also have fun. And watching that film, I'm like, this was fun.

Oh, yeah. Like, this is the kind of fun that it helps us at the end of the day, get in bed and be like, everything's going to be okay. Like you kind of put on that movie and you're like, everything's good. You just have a good time. I love it. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. And so that is bringing joy to people. That's bringing kind of peace. It's fun. It's great. It's exciting. And then it's also like you're part of something where it's like a new renaissance for one, for Lindsay Lohan.

Yeah. And I would imagine that's a fun thing to be part of. I could be making all that up. Oh, no. I think you nailed it on the head. And it is, especially hopefully what is like the renaissance of like a good rom-com, you know? Yes. Love it.

It's my favorite. Like just best. Yeah. And when it's done well, you kind of get the magic of movies again. You know, it's not. It feels at times like things have become like very sterilized, you know? And so I really liked, especially with this movie, like, yeah, everybody. looks great and hooray for hair and makeup.

But like, I, you know, it felt like I'd see myself. And I'm like, I look like a person. Like, all right, there's a little bit of a jowl. And that's, but like, you know, it was, it was, it was honest. And I think, you know, having, I remember, like going. So I went to, speaking of Pittsburgh, like, I went to a, you know, this drama school that it's there. And, and, and what was really great was that. You know, they, it was very much focused on like, all right, what's like the thing itself, like the, okay, here in drama school, we're going to do like Shakespeare and Chekhov, but then you're going to get out into the world and do some like recurring guest star thing that's trash.

But your job is to make it, is to elevate it, you know? So I think what's been great is like, you know, having done the like the pilots, the guest spots, the things like that where you're like, what, what is this? Like, you know, humans don't talk like this. And then you have to like make it believable. You have to make it convincing. And so I think that's kind of your job that like if it doesn't matter what it is, if it's a rom-com or if it's like, you know, of Oscar fodder. Like, your approach should be the same.

Yeah. You know, to make it awesome. I feel like I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, you're not at all, not at all. You went to Carnegie, uh, Carnegie me that one. Yeah. Yeah, the, the, the, I, I, a joke that it's part culinary school. Um, yeah.

Do you do the Pramani sandwiches and the, I did until, oh, yeah, well, yeah, well, Well, yes. And then I was informed that maybe I was enjoying them too much. Oh. By whom? You know, people that love you. People that are honest. There's a bit of a lusciousness to you that maybe is not beneficial.

Like, that was everybody's experience, right? Nobody, you don't go to college and be like, you know what? I'm going to get in really great shape. No. No, you eat. I'll never forget. I didn't, I didn't go to like a way away. And I was visiting a friend at Purdue. And there was a place called Mad Mushroom. And that's all I have to say. It was a pizza place. That's my story. I'm hungry. Sorry. Oh, pizza. This is where we go. This isn't what you thought. We started with food and we circle back. Yeah. You didn't know where this was going. I can talk about food like all. day because like I can't wait to do some project where they're like, you know what, Ian,

you need to put on like 20 pounds. I'm like, sh. Oh. I thought you were going to say a project where you get to cook or eat or eat. Oh, that might be a lot of effort. I mean, I feel like I'm like an all right cook. I certainly know churn my own butter in the original shakeweight form of it. But I really have to stop doing this gesture towards my face.

I have a question for both of you. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I was listening to this exercise where they have you close your eyes and they say, okay, what do you taste in your mouth and not have it be a food? Close your eyes, right? Okay. And we want to try it?

No. Yeah. I'll try it. Here we go. Yeah. See? He's a good time. So if you close your eyes and you think of a taste.

but it's not food. Oh. What would it be? It's not food. Yeah. My mind always goes to the dirtiest place. What is wrong with me? It could be.

But I'm going to land. I'm landing on Dr. Pepper Chapstick. Okay. Oh. Oh, that's nice. So what is your favorite? It's not my first thought, Ian. Don't worry.

What is your favorite taste that's not food? That is it food? Your favorite? Yeah. That isn't food? Yes. Oh. Look at it.

Squirming. It's not food. Yeah. Well, where does your mind first go? Coffee. That's food. That's food. That counts as like a food, like a...

Oh, you mean like a non-solid food. That's very specific. Coffee does not count. No, it has to be something not edibly related, like, or consume, like, coffee or food, like, that's the same thing. Okay. This makes it harder. See?

Okay, well, what's your favorite? It definitely does. It's not. No, no. He's not done. Okay. I was going to have him do it and then take him to smell. Yours is actually kind of brilliant, like Dr. Pepper Chapstick.

I mean, that's, no, I got there because I could not share what my first thought was. Favorite taste. Rachel, favorite. Like I said, I could. I was kidding. So I guess the, well, my first response that gained my brain was my wife, but we can move past that. So there's, I love that. I think, yeah, you know, it's, oh, God, Jesus.

That's what they're going to, that's going to be whatever the like in the breakdown is. It's like, face, his wife. First, I think you can, like, like snow. Oh, yeah, good one. That is not food. Hey, do you, you're in Toronto. Do you ever take maple syrup and put it on fresh snow and eat it? Oh, well, it hasn't snowed a lot.

And I'm in a part of Toronto. You're in the city? Yeah, maybe I don't want to eat anything. You don't want to eat that snow. Nope, don't want to eat it. I am a big maple syrup fiend. I mean, to the point where you know when you see those things that come up, like, is maple syrup that much better than cane sugar?

I'm like, I don't want to hear this. because I'll put it on like the eggs, you know. It's just, it's so good. You are a fan. I'm a big, I'm a big fan. Well, there's lots of maple up there. Yeah, no, a lot of, a lot of good people up here. A lot of fun.

Oh, yeah. What are you working? Are you, can you talk about what you're working on up there? Do you want to? I can, yeah. So I, I, well, yes. So, I. Don't lie.

Don't lie. So I'm doing this. I mean, there was like a little, I guess, a variety or a deadline thing about it. But there's, it's a, it's a streaming show for Hallmark Plus. And what I love about it is it is very much unlike anything they have done. And the way down, like, murder, there's, like, everybody gets beheaded at one point. No, it's. You really bringing it back to Marcus Aurelius.

I don't know. Oh, way to bring it back. So many callbacks today. That's what I'm here for. You're welcome. But it also means you listen. So that's great. Thanks for doing that.

You know what? Yes. One of my only skills. You have so many skills. What are you talking about? Hey, thanks. You can turn butter. I can shake,

I can't. You can turn butter. Okay, sorry. You're working on. Hallmark Plus. Oh, yeah, yeah. So it's basically like, you know, four people. it's set in New York, therefore shot in Toronto.

And it's sort of like how their lives come together. And I can't say much more than that. But it's not, you know, everybody, what's really been interesting is a lot of like the guest stars and the recurrings that are all like Canadian locals. You know, they shoot so much hallmark stuff up here that everybody has been in like multiple productions, especially like your local actor. And all of them have said like, I, I, I'm very confused right now because this does not feel, hallmark at all. Even down to like the, the, how the shots are done, the lenses we use.

Like there's this one lens that I think they only have, they have like 10 of them in the world. And we have two of them. Wow. And we did this one shot where I received some not so great news. and it was on like this little crane that just circled me and did the whole. Oh, wow. Oh, that's fun. It's like those things the kids do where you stand in the circle and it goes around you and it makes

exactly. Yeah. Those are so cool. Yeah. The kids are doing. That's what the children. So, yeah, no, I'm really excited for it because I think, you know, it's a series, right? Is that what you said?

It's a series. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody, you know, I think is trying to do the platform. thing where they're trying to build out like, you know, it's Homework Plus. You know, I think it will probably be on the actual channel in some point, but like, they're trying to build out this, this whole new thing. And I think it's really awesome.

And I think they're doing it really well. And so, because, you know, I actually, if we were talking a little moment ago or a little while ago about, like, if I had not, you know, did the move facilitate where I am now. And one of the premises of this show is. is about how small decisions and little sort of seemingly unimportant details resonate with, you know, resonate out and, and affect a bunch of different kinds of people. And so I realized that if I hadn't left L.A., I would not have moved. We moved to, like, right outside New York at first.

And we just happened to find ourselves in Connecticut. And it was there that I got off for this, like, Allmark Christmas Movie, that at that point, I was like, oh, my God, I will, like, I'll never do these. you know, it's terrible and blah blah. And I was such an asshole about it. And then I read the script and found out that my friend Kim Matula was doing him. And so I did it. I had a blast.

And it was well received. And if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have been able to do this other thing that was on Hallmark Plus just recently. And then I wouldn't have been considered for this job. Right. And if I hadn't done this other Christmas movie, Netflix wouldn't have looked at me for, The Lindsay Lohan one. And I think not to keep bringing it back to this, but at times I felt like I was trying to force things in the early part of my career where I was like, no, no, no, it's got to be this. It's got to be this.

And like, if I'm not in this world or I'm not working with these people, I'm a failure. And it was been very clear to me that I don't always know what's best for me. Preach. And it's, yeah. It's just, isn't it kind of shocking? Like you, you think, oh, if I do this thing, I will totally die. And outside of like, you know, like the extremes of any given situation, like, yeah, I'm never going to like do heroin and think like, yeah. That's going to go well.

It's going to end well. But I kept thinking, no. know my life, my career needs to look like this. And once I kind of let that go, my life and career got a whole lot better. And as much as I'm like, oh, because I felt like I encountered so many woo-woo people in Los Angeles. They're like, you just need to let it go.

I'm like, I think you don't have a job and you have like a rich parent. Like how you can afford to let it go? You know, I can't, you know, the stakes are higher for me. But sometimes they were right, you know. that, okay, I'm going to go do this thing. I'm going to do the best that I can. And that's all you can do. And so that led me to this.

And like, it's a blast. I love the people I'm working with. And they're all like, you know, actors that love acting, you know, which is great. Yeah. Sometimes you don't encounter that as much as you should. And, um,

And there's one seradibittous thing, but I can't say without giving away some of the storyline. But, you know, like. But it was confirmation. Yes, 100%. I love that. Yeah. I love that so much when that happens. Yeah.

So it should, you know, knock on wood, it should be great. And if not, then. We can't wait. Can you say what it's called? It's called ripple right now. Ripple. Okay. Right now it's like ripple.

So if it stays, we'll know what to look out for. Also, really quick, it reminds you. It reminds me of that. There's an image I share a lot with people that I need to look at every day myself, which is like, it's a picture of like God holding this teddy bear. Have you seen this? No. And there's this little girl just crying hysterically because she wants this little teddy bear. And you just shared this the other day. Sorry. Continue. And behind his back, he's got a gargantuous teddy bear. And it's like if she would just let go of that little thing, she thinks she's. she needs and wants, she's got so much more that he's just waiting to give her. And it's like that image is exactly what you described. It's like you think you want to control and do the thing and I need it this way. And if you can just kind of release that and let what's bigger for you come, that's what's happening for you right now. You know, that kind of, oh, boo. Yeah. Yeah. You love a bull. Sorry, that sounded like I was responding negatively to what you're saying.

I'm not. I also think it's fascinating that like I was like very early on in my career. I was like a screaming atheist. I mean like insufferable to be around. And it was because I felt, you know, so disillusioned with. step like organized faith and you know my sister is gay and I didn't like how she was treated growing up and so I I was just angry at that and so what I did was I tried very hard to like eradicate any spirituality faith or anything like that you know there might have been another

time in my life where what you just said would would get like a scoff from me sure But now, I think about an older, experienced more of life, have had a baby. Yep. I don't see how you can't have that. Like, I don't, I can't comprehend how you can't, how you can't, how you don't, how you don't, you know, put your life in sort of like a spiritual sense or at least ask these questions. and and the idea of certainty is just like a dead end you know and yeah that is such a great image I should find that and like put it up to my tattoo that's your actual tattoo on the bottom of your foot yeah that one will be like on my chest or somewhere yeah although I feel like

I look like such like the, you know, poor man's Kennedy. I don't know if tattoos really register on me. I'd be like, I think you're trying to do hard, buddy. You're like, I'm just trying to match the coolness of my wife. Of my wife. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a tattoo.

So, yeah, no, that's exactly. Of course. I said, I think she might be a little bit cooler than you. She's just a little bit. She is. I think she's cooler than most. That's what my take was. I was like, oh.

Got it. Yeah. Like, do you, have you known somebody who at like a Hollywood gathering will just suddenly pull out paints? No. And we'll just like go paint in the corner. Oh, my God. First, I'm like, where did you hide that? Like, you have this, like, that little fashionable purse that's like this, you know,

and she'll just like, bust that out. She'll sit down at a party and just start painting. She'll be like, br-mer-mer, br-mer, you know. And I go, do you need? Do you need to be alone or like, what do you feel? I don't know. I just had this idea. And she just does it.

And I'm like, God. That's amazing. It's someone who, now I'm just going to, I'm going to talk wicked for a second. Have you seen it? Please. The movie version yet? No, I have not. But I should.

I'm going to go see. Basically, the messaging of like Alphabet and in part one is like so saying true. And like being yourself. Yeah. And so I think that is just an example of that. and it's very powerful. So powerful. Oh, my God.

We won't say anything because you have to see it. I should see it. Yeah. I should absolutely see it. I'm comparing your wife to. Alphabet. Alphabet, part one.

I don't know what happens in part two. We don't know about the part two. Yeah. We don't know about all the wicked witch of the West stuff. Part one. Did you see like the musical? No.

I've never seen. Oh, you've never seen any of them. I've never seen even on stage. No. Oh, wow. I know nothing. Oh, wow. Well, I know.

part one now, yeah. But like, nothing, which is crazy because I'm a huge, like, musical, Broadway, like all of that. Love it. But it was just one that, anyway, never had the chance. But it was kind of like one of those things where people, everybody says, like, oh, it's the best. And there's a part of you that goes like, I'm not going to see it. It can't be the best. Yeah. Well, I think that's good. But it is. Have you seen it on stage? I have seen it on stage. Yeah. And yeah. And yeah, it's pretty. Was that the play that you wanted to stay to see that your friend was in? Your friend, Christian Chenowitz?

Who is the light? Who is just, you know, oh. Yeah, no, that's the cool thing about this job is like suddenly you, you know, you mean somebody who's a legend. Like she's literally literally led her away from being an egot, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yet so humble loves junk food. Oh, my heart.

She's still my heart. She was like, oh, Ian, hang on one second. I got to get some of my trailer. And I'd be like, oh, okay. I'm like standing outside in the cold. She was like, come on in. Don't stand out. Like, you know, and then I got to come up in the trailer.

It's just like, Doritos backs. And I'm like, oh, I think a nine-year-old was like let loose in your trailer. And I was like, did you have like nieces and nephews that came in? He was like, no, that's mine, honey. And I was like, oh, okay. But yeah, she's a legend. And she was, she said, you know, came out super well.

and also like so gracious too that this thing that she held so dear and was so integral and like creating it. Yeah. Just gave it away. You know, it was like 100%. It was there for, you know, Ariana. I was like, you, yes, this is your role. It's crazy. Amazing.

Yeah, I got chills talking about it. That did make me emotional in the movie just that aspect of like what that's like as a woman and a man when you switch over roles in life where you're no, longer the ingenue and is that what would she be considered now leading ladies still but she's not the she's not the she's not the ariana grande anymore right right yeah none of us are going to live our whole life as ariana grande neither is aryana intended you know what i mean like there's going to be one day where she passes the torch yeah and it takes a big person who is grounded in their own life and being to like, let it go, you know, which is like it was so shitty. Oh, let it go.

You just brought up Adina. Let's go there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just so, wait, where's I going with that? Something like about, you know, realizing you're not this thing anymore and like being okay with it.

Yeah. Kristen doesn't owe anybody anything. No. You know? No. She's like, she's done it. She's worth it. The best of the best.

It's one of words. And so now she's like, well, I don't know how much longer I'm going to do this. I mean, she'll probably do it until she, you know, croaks on stage. But yeah, man, she's the best. Thank God. I'm so glad to hear that because you want them. You always want that. Yeah.

Those stories are the best one. You want her to be good. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, Ian, you're the best. Yeah, you're good. Very delightful conversation. Thank you for being so open with us.

Oh, of course. I hope it wasn't too many. And also, yeah, hiding it. Good old. Or maybe I just like, yeah, my son's name is Lucy Hale. How about that? I think everyone's name should be Lucy Hale. That's true.

She's dream. I'm going to go text her right now. Go text her right now. Have fun shooting your series. We can't wait for that. And you're wildly successful movie on Netflix. Everyone needs a feel good. situation right now. So thank you for bringing that to us. And yeah, and talking to us.

This was fun. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. No, thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. To close, just tell us your favorite smell that is. Oh, she won't let it go. No, no, that's great. My favorite smell. That isn't food. That isn't food. My favorite smell that isn't food. Mmm. You know, there's a tie. There's like a, I mean, there are multiple things. I think the top of my son's head. Yep. Even now, like once the baby sent is gone.

Doesn't matter. He's still. And I know if he, this is gross, but. His mouth. His breath. Like his, because he doesn't know, he doesn't understand proximity now. And so when he hugs, he's like, you know, he'll be like, da-da.

Hey, ja-da. And like his face is on my face. I'm like, okay, all right, but. All right, a little bit of space. Okay, okay, buddy. And, but the, but his breath is, is probably, you know, probably it. That's probably it. That was well, well done.

Well answered. With you on that one. There we go. There we go. Boom. Well, have a great day. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

We didn't really get into birds in our conversation with Ian. And like, I feel like I could have. gone off about that for hours because he wrote a book on birds. We didn't talk about it. I thought you said that part. That he wrote a book on birds. Yeah. Just wanted to talk about birds. Want to know something so weird. Of course. During the interview while we were talking to him, I heard a crow out the window. Did you notice it? No. For some reason, and I'm usually not hyper aware, but it kept crowing during the interview and I like clocked it. Hmm. Turns out he's a bird guy. He's a bird guy.

And at the time we were talking, I didn't even think about that. I don't think the mics will have picked it up, but just so you know, the crow was a crowing. Do you ever look up, so if you see like a certain type of bird or? Do I ever refer to how to make an American quilt? You know how she has the crow thing in it? No. Sorry, I really have to say this quickly. Please.

There's a theory in that movie, and if I'm remembering it correctly, and people can correct me if I'm wrong, there's something about a crow or a raven. I want to say crow, that like you follow and it leads you to your love or something. Or maybe it's something positive. My takeaway was like leads you to your love. Wait, wait, stop. I don't know. I don't remember. No.

Stop. What? Oh. What did you think? No, I'm dying because you're like, the crow leads you to your love. Or maybe it was something positive. Like leading you to your love isn't positive. Well, it depends.

I was like, wait, what? You're like, oh, it was something positive. Accurate. Correct. No. Correct. Anyways, so I always think of that. When I see a crow, I'm like, huh, I wonder what the significance is in this moment.

Yeah, so that's what I was going to ask is. Do you look up certain birds and what they mean? I will. Absolutely. Well, I have a thing with hummingbirds. And what's your thing? I actually, so my mom and my grandma died. Wait, what?

That's not the end of the sentence. What did you just say? So my mom when my grandma died. I thought you said, so my mom and my grandma died. And I was like, no. No. Oh, my God. Olivia.

I'm sorry. I thought that's what you said. Did not say that. Start over. My mom has a story about when my grandma, passed and a hummingbird came to visit her. So for so long, hummingbirds have symbolized my grandmother, who I spoke to recently on Tyler Henry. True. Yeah. And then there was someone else I had a connection with and they had a similar hummingbird connection to someone who had passed. And anyway,

it's just like significant. So when I see a hummingbird, I always clock it. Okay. Do you have a clock it? A clock it. Do you have a relationship to birds? Not a big one. No. Not a big one. But I did note that you had like a really beautiful, majestic hawk doing a beautiful, like, show yesterday. Oh, yesterday. Yeah.

There's a lot of hawks. Yeah. So I always feel some sort of significance. So will you look it up? Yeah. What is it? I don't know. When Breyer was born, there was a baby hawk in our yard.

and it was so cute they look like these little balls of fluff so cute so cute and I remember looking it up at the time but I don't remember what they symbolize now are you going to look it up? Yep I always look up symbolization

with everything in life George messed up all the settings on my phone he changed them all interesting yeah I don't like it I don't know what that means exactly but like my text

no longer show up on the front page. What is the symbolization? Symbolism. Symbolism of Hawks? Okay, do you share. I will. Hawks have had many symbolic meanings

across cultures and throughout history, including prophecy and foresight. The Hawks' ability to soar and sharp vision has made it the symbol of prophecy, wisdom, intuition, clear vision, strength, courage, protection, wealth and power. I really resonate. Bring it in. You know, that one really hits close to home. Yeah. Abundance.

It's a favorable omen. Okay. Down for it. Okay. I have some questions for you. Okay. So this is a tricky thing and I think you're going to really understand why I think it's tricky. Okay. So if you were to think about manifesting. Yes. Right. And you were to think, what are the biggest things that you want to call into your life? Let's just say you hold that in your mind's eye, right? Would you then feel comfortable sharing that publicly? Actually publicly or like talking about it like with you?

You mean like not keeping it private. I know you feel comfortable. Right. Because I think there's this thing, right? So sometimes if you hear. I've been listening to a lot of different things on manifestation, and there's one level where I feel really connected to it. And then there's another level where I feel like it's hard.

I would imagine to then share those things happening. And then it almost gets into the like, are you disconnected? Like superstitious or? Superficial. Oh. Yes. elaborate. So let's say you and I were like, we're going to do a manifesting challenge.

Okay. Right? Yeah. And we're going to manifest together and we're going to share it with the broadians. Okay. And then I'm like, I got a check for X amount of dollars or this or that. It starts to become disconnected to me from what people are facing on a daily basis. So when I ask you that, do you feel like that's true?

Like would you feel comfortable being like, oh, I manifested this thing? Or would you feel like, you know what? That's kind of out of touch with what a lot of people may. And not for me personally. I've never experienced that. But I'm saying when people start to like really push these huge manifestations, is there a disconnect between being connected to? what a typical person would experience.

I automatically go to superstition and not superficial. Like if I share things like, oh, if I like say this, does that mean it won't happen or whatever? But I don't think I do that often because I think when things happen, I'll be like, I just manifested that, you know? Yeah. I don't know if I do that like on here publicly. Maybe I do.

But I guess I don't think about it. I don't think is my thing. I don't think I put too much thought into it is more accurate. Okay. Where you think about everything. I really do. You really deep dive on everything. Like so much.

I'm like just, you know. It's like the scene in Wicked where the guy's like dancing and they're in the library and he's like, don't think. Just dance through life. Yeah, I'm Fero. So then what? Because I know your brain never stops. So then what are you thinking about? Yeah. Hmm. You know? I often feel concerned for myself. I, what's been really interesting is my daughter's an incredibly deep thinker. Yes. Incredibly deep. I can. I can. I, think deeply a hundred percent but i also kind of keep things at a level where i'm not going there maybe that's why for so long i didn't suffer from depression probably you know what i mean yeah

it was just like don't go there i didn't let things like get to me how do you do that i don't know i mean things can get to me now yeah and it's not that i don't think and i know i joke around you know but I do have a habit of keeping things at a level of like, I don't know the best way to articulate this. Try. Keeping things at a level of, well, what are you going to do? My motto, right? Right.

It's the best way I can describe it. So then what does your brain think about? I'm like purposely avoiding the question. Because you do, I know you think all the time. I'm with you enough. I know that it does. Mm-hmm. So if you were to, I'm fascinated. See, I'm doing it. I know. You can't help it. I can't stop. I know. My mind, I'll go to more like logistical thinking. Like tomorrow I have to have this done and this is what I need to do in the morning and then this is what I can make her for lunch. And then, okay, what do I want to make for dinner? And then I have to go to the market and then I have to get these things. And that, you know, but that's busy brain that is distracting.

It's also useful, though, because I don't think of those things. Right. Like, I'll think of them like, okay, I have to do- Well, what are your thoughts? When you're going to bed at night, what goes through your mind? So I'm really good at turning off my thoughts for bed. Okay. I go to bed.

Great. I fall asleep, like a narcoleptic. I know you do. Boom. It's unbelievable. But the thoughts throughout my day are more consumed with, so, like, for instance, if I'm going to drive here, I rarely listen to music.

Is it silent or you're listening to talks? I'll listen to talks and books. I actually know this. I don't know why I ask you. Yeah. So those kind of things will then give me something to chew on all day. Where I'll be like, oh, how's that showing up in my life? Like, where is that applicable?

You do a lot of reflection. Yeah, like, what is that? Like, where can I learn? I also think a lot about, like, how can I explain it to clients or, like, make it digestible in ways that like go with their life. So I will forget that I need to get two things of sprinkles for the school party on Friday. You didn't get them? On Friday, I have to get them today.

Okay. But like those are the kind of things that you would never forget. Never forget. Yeah. Done. Immediately. I'm going to do it. The sprinkles are going to be there. But it'll be like, fuck, I got to get the sprinkles versus.

the logistics in planning of my life. Right. I'm a big planner in my head. You are. Massively. That's a Virgo thing. I think so. It's Virgo?

Yeah. I'm a mess. Closer everywhere. But in my brain, I'm my shopping card at the grocery store. Everything's going to go in neatly. Only at the grocery store? Target.

That's a store. I mean, like, does that order apply anywhere else in your life? Packing for a trip? Really good at that. Really organized. Well thought out. We'll obsess over that, though. I like packing.

Love. Reminds me of playing with Barbies. Interesting. Yeah, it's like, oh, this is going to be for that, and that's going to be for that. That's interesting to me because there are people who are, like, actually put outfits together or like things together and like this is for this and this goes with this. My problem is I can't do that. I can't put an exact outfit together. I have to have options because I change so drastically that I might not want to wear that. Yeah. Or I might not want that

to go with that. And so my problem is overpacking always. So you don't get a general idea of like, okay, let's say you're going on a three day trip. You're not going to be like, Okay, here's pajamas. Here's what to change into for cozies. Oh, yeah, yeah. Here's breakfast the next morning. Here's the afternoon. Here's evening.

And then bring things to like mix and match with it. Like a sweater or a jacket could go with that. You're like bring options for each thing. I'm like options like I need cozy comfy options. I need eating somewhere options. I need day cozy comfy options. Like I need options. know the things. Does that make sense? Yeah, but you don't decide what's for what. It's not like the exact

thing. Unless I'm going somewhere for a very specific thing and I need to know what I'm wearing to that thing. Yeah. So like let's, how was Morocco for you? Because you went with Nicole. Yes. Who is massively organized. The most like she. But that's my dream. You know what was great? You know what was great? You know what was great? I will tell you it was the one time Nicole went out of her high school reunion that she planned, staying up, hanging out, all of it, to going straight on a plane to Morocco. So the first time in her life, she just had to, like, throw a bunch of shit in suitcases. But still, had every looked completely dialed. How does she do that? I don't know. It's amazing. Does she have more hours in the day? Nope. What is it? I don't know. It's her brain. I don't know. It's so fascinating

how each one of our brains, like, totally does a different thing. I know. right i don't recommend i don't recommend mine for anyone yeah but yours excels in snacks fucking kill a snack you will i will slay a snack game you slay a snack and you slay the organization of being a mom like you show up for everything you volunteer for everything you will bring something homemade you will cook you'll make sure that she has a homemade meal like you kill it in that in that way i sure don't I put a lot. That's where most of my effort goes into all the momming. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like your brain likes it. Because a lot of moms, like you have to put the effort in no matter what when you have kids. Like it's not an option. They have to eat. They've got to get to school. But there's something about you that's like you enjoy those aspects that would be chores for other people.

Right. My favorite thing is packing her lunch in one of the Planet Box compartment. I know I talk about this, but the compartments, and that speaks to my brain of the organizing of the carts because each little compartment has something. And when I can make it cute, I like get such a joy from that. Would you put in it today? This is like ASMR. I know. Well, yesterday was the planet box today because I was giving her angel hair. I had to use like a thermos. So it had to be a regular lunchbox with different things in it. Mm-hmm. You give her, so you'll heat Angel Hair pasta before.

It was made already. It's not like I cook it in the morning. But you heat it up in the morning. Yes. And put it in the thermos. I don't do any thermos stuff. Ever? No.

Well, Breyer loves soups. It's easy for me because I can just reheat that. My kids don't want any of that stuff. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like yesterday she had a salami sandwich, you know. But she doesn't love bread.

She's not a big sandwich kid. What? I know. I love making. making it fun. Like, you know, Catherine Wheelicious, how she does her little sushi sandwiches, quote unquote, where they cut them up like little rolls. They look like little sushi. I love doing that. Like, it brings me such joy. So how much time do you need to give yourself in the morning to do that? And make breakfast? Well, I think about it ahead. If I didn't have it thought out, it would take

longer. So your brain works. You see? It does work. Yeah. It's just what it's working on. Yeah, but that's good. We usually have breakfast. I do a to go breakfast because her school starts so early that she eats on the way to school. Like what? Well, I was really proud this morning. And did I tell you? Yeah.

I talked about it in the episode. That's right. I like to come up with different things. Like yesterday she had avocado toast. But, you know, sometimes she'll have like the Greek yogurt with the honey and then I'll give her like pecans on the side. Do you say pecan or pecan? I say pecan. Pecan. Pecan. I think I do both.

Pecan pie? Pecan pie? Pecan. I know. Carmel or caramel? Yeah. Right. Carmel. Okay. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, and I'll give her, like, fruit and nuts on the side. You know what I mean? She can eat in the car or she'll have peanut butter toast with strawberry slices on it.

And, you know, I try to make it, like, filling. But the good thing, she likes to go to school early now because she can go and they serve breakfast if she wants to eat breakfast. Oh, that's good. That's happened the past couple days just because she, like, likes it. So sometimes she'll do that. But I always have something for her in the car. I can't believe she eats breakfast in the car. She would have to wake up so early.

And my child... What time does she wake up? You know what? The past two mornings, she woke up herself, which is amazing. But normally, I have to wake her up at 7.15, and we have to be out the door. 730, 740, which is hard. Are you being serious? I'm being serious because the kid needs her sleep.

That's like 15 minutes. Yeah, no, it's not ideal. It works a lot better. Put your clothes on, brush your teeth, we're leaving. I've started to shift to like if she's not up by seven, like I want to wake her up at seven. So she has time because it really makes the morning easier. I get my kids up at 6.45 to leave by 7.45. Wow.

Well, Shepard's already. Shepard's up, I know. It's Elliot. I have to wake up. She's already had his five-course breakfast meal that he's made himself. Yeah, no, but she needs her sleep. So do I, dude. I know you do.

I'm up. Maybe that's why I'm cranky. Maybe that's why you're cranky. You're cranky if you don't sleep. Yeah, I don't know what to do about this situation. Did you go to the gym this morning? Yeah. Oof.

I did. Okay. So that's a question is like, is it good for me? I feel like you're supposed to feel more energized when you work out and stuff like you're doing. Yeah, but I think there's something about my circadian rhythm that like if I wake up and it's still dark, I never quite catch it. I will agree with you because anytime I wake up at 5 or 5.30, no matter what, even if I went to bed at 9, I am exhausted during the day. Like late, you know, late afternoon, you're like, shit, I have to go to sleep. What is that?

And I feel like Jeff was like, I don't think that you're the person that should do this. At 5 a.m. Yeah. I agree. Like, you can go to the gym, but like, go at 9. Well, the reason I go at 5 a.m. is because that's when Nicole can go. And it's like the accountability buddies.

I get it. You need someone. Yeah. That's why, like, Pilates buddies buddies. Like, it makes you go. It makes you go. And then also to go to the gym at 9, realistically, like. You can't get there.

Get there. Then get home. Then shower. and get ready. You're starting your day at 11. Like, I do this. My day starts. You're arguing against yourself. I know, but I'm tired. So you just drink caffeine all day? Yeah, I just don't think, I don't think it's sustainable doing 5.30 a.m. workouts. Yeah, not for you. Nicole can handle it. She can handle it. Yep. She's a different breed. Yep. 100%. He's hilarious. I know. He's really funny.

Was she funny this morning? She was funny this morning. You know what I love about her? She's the most straight shooter ever. And like my brother did something annoying. And she was like, don't do that. I don't like that. And like the way she says it like, and it wasn't he was just like moved to this machine or whatever.

It's just like the way she said it and like the way he did it in like the whole thing. It's like anyone else would just be like, oh. oh, okay. Like, whatever. But she's like, no, I don't like that. And he's like, okay, cool. Then don't move. And we'll do this.

And I'm just like there's a way about her that's so confident and direct. Direct. Correct. Did you know that what we work on is contagious? So like if there's a branch, right, and then that's fragmented into a littler branch, it's the same thing. It's just smaller. Right? And so it grows with the other branches. Like, basically, you pull each other to where you're at. So if I think we pull each other all the time.

100%. So it's like if you start working on boundaries, it's going to firm my boundaries. If I start working on honesty, it's going to start to pull your honesty. If you start weight building, my muscles are naturally going to look. Your ass got tighter from me going to the gym. Thank you. But that's the truth. It's like you are. what you eat. Yeah. I eat you every... Nope, nope, not saying it. That goes to the places we don't want. That was not. The dark web. Yes. Thank you for holding me accountable every day. Thank you for holding me accountable. Thank you, Broadians, for a great year and happy holidays.

Happy holidays. All right, everyone, have a happy holiday. Yeah. Yeah. Google some birds. That was a HeadGum podcast.