Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Iliza Shlesinger

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

This week, the broads welcome the hilarious comedian and winner of Last Comic Standing, Iliza Shlesinger! The three talk (and laugh) about everything from ugly babies and what makes great nannies to how Iliza met her husband and the traits they look for in the opposite sex. Iliza also shares her hatred of matching sweat suits and her take on inclusive representation.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Welcome, Rob. Welcome, Olivia. Welcome, Rachel. Today we are going to welcome Eliza Schlesinger. I am a huge fan and super excited. I actually want to go back and watch

Last Comic Standing. I know just because, like, first of all, I love a competitive show and the fact that I know she wins makes it more fun and I want to watch all her stuff. end up. Is that something you like to do is know the ending before you start? Sometimes I know the ending of like the Bachelor or whatever. And at first I'm like, oh, man, but then I'm like, well, who cares? Because I want to see and then I can see the dynamic. I'm like, I already know. So I want to see how they are the entire season. So it does a little spin on it. But Eliza, she has a new Netflix special out now. Yep. And she also has her new book. All things aside. Very funny. So funny. Let's welcome Eliza.

Sometimes when the inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that I make you... because people die.

So I said to my husband last night, I'm like, do you know who Eliza Schlesinger is? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, we're interviewing her tomorrow. And he's like, why? And I was like, what do you mean? I'm like, she's great. And he's like, yeah, but she's like a huge comedian.

Aw. Yeah, he's like, she has a really. Thank you. She has a really big career. And I'm like, I know. What are you saying about you? That's what I'm saying. And I was like, what do you mean?

He goes, well, why are we interviewed? Why? And I was like, because she's funny. And he's like, I get it, but I don't understand why she would do that. And I was offended, obviously. And I was like, we have big people. Like we have Kristen Bell, Mandy Moore. Yeah, sure.

He goes, oh, your podcast. Oh, what do you think you meant? We're interviewing nannies. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. And then when I said, yeah, my podcast, he goes, oh my God, I was like, why? What has happened to her? That's what he was saying.

He was like, why? What is she going through? Why would she do that? That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah. I was saving it for her. Okay, that makes sense.

Thank you for saving that for me. I did not see that end coming. No. I didn't either. I liked it the other way where he thought I was so famous. I wouldn't go on a more famous person's podcast. And I was like, wow, people really do. No.

That's great. That's hilarious. You need a job. Yeah. We've got it. Okay. Good. Oh, my God.

What does it pay? Are they benefits? Exactly. Is there dental? Yeah, he was really blown away. It was like, I don't understand. He kept saying she's big, though. She's got like a real career.

She has a big gambling problem and he needs to pay some people off. She needs a real job. Oh, my God. That's really funny. We're so happy you're sitting here with us, though. Thank you for. Thanks for having me. Yeah.

Making the track from wherever. It's so civilized on this side of town. It is. Yeah. I think so. Yeah, I mean, it's a little... It's a little... It's calmer.

It's calm. There's nice wide streets. Yes. You can park places. It looks like a movie set. It's not the like rummage sale that is Hollywood. And I say that living very near it and spending a lot of time there, but this is nice. We all have time there.

Yeah, for sure. A lot of audition. Yeah. But yeah, we just were so excited to talk to you. Obviously, her husband, the most... Yeah. It's so funny. He was stoked.

You should have just kept up with it. I know. Oh, that would have been so good. Yeah. Yeah, she starts Friday. I had her show a CPR on the dummy. It didn't work. She starts Friday.

Oh, my God. Well, you are a mom. I am. How old? She turned eight months old yesterday. Oh. Oh, my little baby. She's just little baby with a lot of teeth and very strong.

Strong butt. I cannot stop showing people pictures. of her butt. My husband's like, give it a rest. But it's just great. That is so cool. You guys both have kids. Right. Because that's where you're looking for, it'd be weird if you did not have kids. You're like, it's our fetish. We need a name. And here's the rub. We don't have fun. She's going to rub you. But yeah, so it's great. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. And what's her name? Her name is Sierra. Sierra. Sierra May. And we do not show pictures of her. Right. But I did post a picture of her butt. My husband was like, you need to take it down.

Oh. You're like, no, I'm not going to show her face. But like her butt's fine. But also, like, if she's only recognizable in this world by her butt, like, I guess I failed as a parent. Right. So, but we took it down. But, yeah, it's just usually her wild curly hair. Oh. Anyways, I'm very happy with her. Yeah.

I mean, that's such a fun age. Eight months is like full baby. Full baby. Yes. Like a baby doll baby. Yeah. Yeah. And so.

They do things. They eat things. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Hopefully she eats things. She does a great job. But I'm always like, it's this thing when you have a baby. whatever

somebody says about your kid as long as it's not negative you will agree with like it doesn't matter what your baby looks like if I said to you like is tall you'd be like she is tall

she is and she feels like advanced she is like it's only good things no one's like is your kid a little dumb she's big for age she is big

yeah her eye they are it is so but do you ever feel like you know how like some babies that you meet and like maybe

they're not the most appealing to the eye. Ugly babies. It's okay. Yeah, it's fine. You can't say that I can. I mean, you know. I'll say it. I'll say it for you. But like, do you think there's anyone else that's actually honest that meets a baby and it's like, ooh? Yeah, Jewish mothers. Jewish mothers, maybe like Persian mothers, maybe. Like any ethnic mom would be, like, Korean grandmas would be like, that's an ugly baby.

Yeah. That's true. Yeah. I did that to my own son. What? Oh, yeah. When Shepard was born, I was like, is he? Like, yeah. Remember? And Jeff would be like, he's beautiful. And I'd be like, but his, like, his face is off, right? His face isn't perfect. His face isn't perfect.

Because you're comparing him to, like, a Gerber baby poster or something. Most babies are not stunning when they're born. They're mushy. And it all just, like, I look back at pictures of her. A friend of ours was like, you know your baby is truly beautiful if you can look back and be like, that was a stunning infant. Right. I don't know that everyone can do that.

My first was, he was stunning. Yeah, he was like ridiculous. Ridiculous. And then the second, and I was like, I guess it's okay. It's okay. It's gorgeous now. Yeah. And even if like it's, you still find them beautiful no matter what, because it's yours. I feel like you're always critiquing, criticizing, like it just comes along with it because you made it and you're like, if this came from me, this has to represent something. I think you want the best for them. I think a lot of times we misinterpret our parents, like you're always picking at me.

It's like your mom, unless she's like a narcissist, like really. only wants the best for you. Like, she wants you to stand up straight so you don't get a hump. And she wants all these good things. I have a baby nurse that lives with us and helps. And she put her in this, my fans give me gifts, like, all over the world. So I've got some, like, some outfits from other countries where you're like, this is very check-looking. And we put her in the outfit. And she came out in the outfit. And I, loving my daughter, I just went, what is this outfit? And the nanny went, like, stop criticizing her. I was like, first of all, she did not dress herself. Second of all, it's the outfit, not her.

Third of all. And you're like, just, yeah. Third of all, okay. I was like, I'm not good. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Well, there's so much judgment now, too, right? Like, anything you say, anything you do. Obviously, in this climate, even about your own kid, it's like somebody might judge or say something. I actually talk about it in my book very briefly because I wrote my book before,

during and after, not deliberately, like, before the baby while pregnant after. So you're constantly checking to make sure you're not, like, losing your mind. And you're saying things that you believe. And I just, just don't understand why any, and I'm sure you've dealt with this, but like any major celebrity

would ever reveal anything about their parenting because it's just ripped to pieces. And my whole thing is like short of feeding your kid gasoline, like you want to breastfeed for like five years, fucking do it. Right. Like when you show me the correlation between serial killers and breastfeeding, like let me know that data. Wait, is there data on that? No, I want to know that.

It's all fine. But there was that Olympic skier. of course I'm blanking on her name, but I do talk about it in the book. She had an Italian last name. I should remember that. And there was this video that went around of her throwing her bundle that baby

into like a little snow bank and he just like went through it. Yes. So cute. And people lost their mind. Right. And I'm like, this woman is a professional skier. Don't you think she knows snow?

And like what ice is, what powder is. And moreover, like, she did it deliberately. She wasn't caught on camera doing this like... I know what video you're talking about. We have this obsession with forcing women to have kids in general. But then once any woman does have kids, we're positive. No woman knows what they're doing.

Right. Because they don't. Well, we don't. That's the secret. Right. I mean, like, nobody does. That's very funny. Like, that's to be honest.

Yeah. But hence why we need, like, I just went and visited a friend in their new baby. And she has a night nurse. And she's like, you know, nobody told us. No one tells you. And I'm like, because we can't. Because you're not allowed. Yeah.

Nobody wants to talk about it because it's gnarly. Yeah. But moreover, I do believe there is like a multi-year. billion dollar industry out there preying on women's insecurities and wanting you to think you don't know how to do this. But like women do this, like there is this thing around particularly like, this is so heavy, but like white birth and like white like privilege of like, oh, I need all these things. And it's like, but women who aren't that that don't have resources, like they are doing it and other white women. So people want you to think you don't know how to sit, how to carry, how to do it. They can sell you

stuff and get you so nervous that you need all the special stuff. Right. And you don't. You don't. Unless there's something wrong. Well, and also aren't nerves part of it? Isn't that how we figure out what the baby needs by listening to our signals, to listen to their signals?

And we're like, I have a signal. Somebody help. Yeah. You know. And the truth is if we didn't have the answer in every internet form, then we'd have to go to our intuitions and read the baby and vice versa. Breastfeeding. It's actually a two-way.

you probably know this, communication, like with saliva. Like the biofeedback is letting you know what you need to send to your baby. Isn't that genius? Yeah. Our bodies are perfect. And so I had the baby and like there was all this hysteria. Like, well, she didn't latch. Then the first hours, you need to see a specialist.

Maybe she's tongue tied. And I started to buy into it. And then I was like, you know what? And funnily enough, my ambiolic is a good friend of mine. And she was like, how are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. And I asked her question about breastfeeding. She goes, and she calls me, she's like, here are the things you need to do.

I go, okay, well, why do you know this? She goes, I'm a lactation consultant. This is what I do. I'm like, this is not what you do. You're an international sitcom star and you host Jeopardy. Like, this is not, but okay. Isn't she also a neuroscientist? Yes, and a neuroscientist.

And also a lactation consultant to the star. But that's amazing. But that is, that does exist so much. There's so many things like showing you in contraptions. Like we had a friend had like the tube and like a machine and like trying to get the baby to latch on. Yeah, so many things. And so many products. And it's also and it's all.

It's, you have to pick and choose where you're going to lose your mind. Right. You can't do everything. There's so many places. I don't remember. It's such a blur. I know. But you did breastfeed or do breastfeed or?

I did. Yeah. I did for like four months. Yeah. And then really more, it is a long story. But we were traveling and then the thing and I didn't charge it. And I was just like, you know what? We're good.

Like I miss like, I miss like two. days and I was like, it's fine. And it's like birth control. You're like, I missed two days. You know what? We'll just go. Yeah. And she's, she's four feet tall at eight months. I did something right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, like you say, there's so much things behind breastfeeding and opinions and whatever. And it's just like, there's so many opinions on everything. Even using a bottle, I felt like that when I had my second and I breastfed my first, but with my second, I had to supplement with formula. And it was like such a thing. I felt judged. I felt uncomfortable. I felt like this

pressure and I almost felt like I had to hide it. And then finally I was like fuck this. Everybody's secretly using formula and people don't talk about it. Yeah. Like I think a lot of people do and if you don't whatever. But I think in what you're saying is like a big part of it is like I felt that way. But most people don't actually care beyond just like flinging an opinion. Like I don't feel like the intention of help is there other than with your close circle. So I only tend to share with them because I'm not interested in the internet. And most people are just bored, so they just want to say something about you. And there's no, the intention is not pure. Even in comment sections,

even in the way we like cancel people, when I criticize you, let's say you do something socially, and I get a hold of you, rarely is the intention like, hey, I just, I want to let you know from our perspective, here's what happened. Instead, it's just like, I hope to see you burn in a public square. And that's why I'm saying this publicly. And I don't know. if you die. How do you handle it as a comedian? You know, all the comments, all the whatever that comes along with, you know, what you do. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. You don't pay attention. You can't, I mean, everybody reads the comments a little bit, but for the most part, I don't. Yeah. And I do think there's some gems and nuggets, you know, and you always want to know if you've

done something genuinely wrong because that's not what the intention of stand-up is about. Right. I hear her people. But I think it's a lot of people get angry and they're reactionary, but very few people understand context. And people like to pretend, like, oh, you said this one thing that offended me. And I'm like, but you were cool with the other 99% of the jokes. So, I mean, if you're going to die on the hill, die on every hill. Unless I said something, like, outright.

But it's also like, I don't know, the world's on fire. Pakistan's underwater. Like, I'm sorry I use the wrong adjective to describe something. Yeah. Broad Ideas is supported by NextEvo Naturals. So as I've gotten older and I've had a kid, sleep is not. something that happens to me. I've tried everything. So what I found really works and can relax my body where I get some sleep is CBD. But not only any CBD, next Evo Naturals developed smart sorb technology

clinically proven to help your body absorb CBD four times better than regular CBD oil because oil just doesn't mix with your water-based body. It works faster too. So when you're trying to get sleep, you won't waste time wondering, is it working? Because it does really fast. Get a better night's rest and a better day tomorrow with products from NextEvo Naturals. For up to 25% off subscription orders of $40 or more, use promo code ideas at nextEvo.com. That's N-E-X-T-E-O-O-com promo code ideas. Yeah, I think, well, you know, stand-up comedy, obviously, in particular, is so... Well, first of all, I don't think there's a scarier, more challenging, like, job in the world.

Like anyone that can get up there and do stand-up comedy, I am in such awe of. I think acting just like in the little that I do, like, I'm like, if I were just an actor, like I would live with my parents. Like I would be a girl who booked one thing ever. Like that grind. I don't think people. Yeah, the grind is, it's tough for sure. Yeah.

And the rejection. The rejection, that's also like, what the fuck, you know. People don't talk about that. They, I know. It's so much you have to work on personally. you know, to be like, I know it's not me, but it sure feels like me when like someone that looks exactly like me got the job and I didn't. You know, there's all those things and like you have to have the fucking tools to... You have to have the tools. Yeah, because it's all...

My favorite is they have you read and they're like, the guy, he actually just went ahead and cast his friends. You're like, oh my God, I'm so glad I got an acting coach for that and paid for it. And you're going to get your friends. I'm sorry, I'm not cool enough to be your fucking friend. Yeah. And paid. Yeah, I know. But what you do, I think is the hardest. I mean, honestly, like, I feel like it's like the most vulnerable thing in a way because you're up there and you're telling jokes and like, you know, are they going to land or are they not going to, like, I don't know. I just don't know how you do it. I mean, like seriously like such like it's incredible. I mean, no, it is though.

I'll take it. Yeah. You know what? Take it. Today I will take it. You should take it. It is incredible. It is.

It is. Yes. Everybody pull over your cars if you're listening and just know. You should Google. I just think it comes from, everybody has like the art that they make and it comes from a place. this one happens to be from this inherent need to feel seen and heard. And then the more you do it, the more you practice the art, it's about, at least for me, saying things with intention, bettering things, having other people feel seen and heard through

what I'm saying, and kind of just trying to make sense of the like gong show of this existence, particularly lately. And saying, like, I don't feel ashamed to talk about a miscarriage or to call something out because it's always from a place of like, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to understand this with you guys. And that's where the intention comes in. Right. It's like so like new age, but it's true.

No, true. But it's not. I mean, I feel like even if, you know, a lot of comedians, that's what my husband and I do on any spare time we get from our two children is watch stand up. Like, that's what we're like, you want to watch a standup? Like, that's it. You want to watch a cigarette?

That's what it's like. We're like, you want to meet me in the other room. You watch stand up. Do you want to laugh? Do you want to go on the other and watch Deb comedy, Jam? Yeah. 10 minutes. Let's do it.

But the ones that bring that to it, like, you know, even like we were talking earlier about Dave Chappelle and the storytelling and allowing people to feel seen and heard. And that's what good comedy is. And recently I went to a comedy show and I noticed myself, I was like, oh, this is what it feels like for something to be triggered, right? Because I've always been like, what is everybody's problem? Calm down. Like, it's a joke, right? But then when something actually triggered me, I was like, oh, this is what they feel. I need to check myself and realize I laughed at 99% of the jokes.

Right. If something hits you, get over it. I don't disagree, but I also think there's always intention. Like, if a comic gets. up there and if he makes a joke about Jews, right? Which as a Jewish person, I'm very used to that. I'm like, where is this intention coming from? Did you also make a joke about Mexicans? Did you all make fun of yourself? Or was this out of left field and this was about like a dirty money joke? And like, do you have the license? Like, we can all say whatever we want, but you get the audience

on your side. You know, like I have like I've got jokes about black people and about Latino guys. I'll actually, I'll do the joke here because it really upsets people. people until the end. And then they take, because what happens is white people get upset for the black joke. Like, they're like,

we're not supposed to laugh at that. Meanwhile, all the black people are like, this is funny. Like, there's the overcorrective, like everyone just fucking relax you're in the hands of a professional. Yeah.

The joke is basically about how, um, culturally there's like, you know, women we're always putting up with being sexually harassed. And I was just like, you know as a girl,

when you walk by a group of black guys, like, they're gonna cat call you. They're gonna say something to you. But you also know if you chirp back, like, it's going to be fine. Once you turn that corner, like, it's over. And the crowd's like, oh, my God, she said black.

Just call, just get to read it right now. And then I'm like, you walk by a group of Latino guys, they are going to cat call you, like a small cat, like, you know, right? But then when you turn the corner, it's fine. White guys don't cat call. It's not in the Caucasian culture. White guys don't do that. The crowd goes quiet. I'm like, a white guy will not cat call you. He will, however, follow you home, find out where you live, and then creatively murder you with your underwear.

That's right. And people were like, oh, thank God, she did it all. So it's all about the intention. What are you saying? Are you trying to hurt? And are you coming from a place of ignorance? Right. And I think if you can, as long as you,

as you're an equal opportunity offender, then I think it's okay. Well, and that's what it is. That's exactly it. As long as you're an equal opportunity offender. Starting with yourself. But you also have, you have to be able to have the, like, if you're going to go to a comedy show or watch a comedy,

watch a stand up, you should probably ask yourself that, before you do it. Especially, I really believe comedy clubs are these sacred things. And even if the joke is awful and offensive or disgust, forget offensive for a second, forget the wokeness of it all, just disgusting. This is a sacred space. This is where I come to work. And especially if you're coming, you bought like a ticket for $15 and you're coming to see a show on like a Monday or a Tuesday, like you are coming to watch us work out. You are not entitled for $15 to see a polished thing. We're not done. You didn't come see me at a show on the road. You didn't buy this like $100 ticket,

whatever. So there is a process that you are watching. And it should be this tacit agreement between the comic and the audience that like things are going to be said here that maybe wouldn't be okay in real life, but we are in a dark room because this is a shameful practice. Yeah. And we should all be embarrassed. And there's alcohol to lube everyone up. Right. And it's like when we go see Don Rickles, like everyone was going to get annihilated. Not every comic is good at that, but you have to give them that space to get better at that.

That's what a comedy club is. So you cannot come. We have to come there understanding like you may be upset, but you're supposed to be having a good time. You can always just leave. That's kind of the agreement. But I love to call it a workout.

Like, that's literally what you're doing. Yeah, they're called sets. Yeah, it's a workout. Yeah. I'm not putting on makeup and I'm going across town to do 15 minutes from like something that I scratched down

on like a gum wrapper. because I need to, like, beat this out. And it is a workout. And then, you know, you come see someone on the road. Even that is still a workout. It's only this thing that's, like, still in amber when you do, when you record it. Right. And even then when you see that material, like my Netflix special that I just did, like, now it's a little different because it continues to evolve.

So you're witnessing a living breathing thing unless the comic is garbage, in which case they just do the same jokes for years over and over, which is nothing. Which funny of them do. Yeah. Well, how did it all come about? Like, did you grow up? Were you just, I mean, obviously you were always funny. But, you know. I mean, I just, you know, you grow up watching sketch, a lot of sketch comedy.

And it's a lot of comedy. And having no real access to it because I'm from like Dallas, Texas. Like, this is, there's no real industry there. Or at least there wasn't. And I went to college and I went for film and I joined a sketch troupe. And but there's that inherent desire to, perform. You don't really have a point of view then. You know, you've got your whatever thoughts you have at Emerson College. And you do that. And then I just realized I didn't need the ensemble.

Like I did a one-man show and I was like, I can do this on my own. And whether it was from support or lack of support or who knows, whatever, I just went and I just did. Partially because no one told me I couldn't. No one told me I could or couldn't. It was like, good luck. Just do it. And I just did. And I just, I guess, I don't know, I just kept going in that direction. Like if you, are an actor-singer dancer, but you keep getting singing gigs, you're probably going to become a singer, you know, and maybe you'll return to acting. But it was the thing that kept working for me, and it clicked for me, and I got it. And then I started studying my own craft. And so it's almost, it's like 17 years later, but you don't really get into the art of it until like year seven or

year 10, like a metaphysical thing. Right. Did people always tell you that was something you should go into? Like I know you said they didn't say you should or shouldn't as far as the stand-up, but were people always like, oh, man, you're hilarious. Yeah, it's like when you're little, it's just like, oh, you're so funny. But when you're a kid, it's like, are you going to be on Saturday Night Live? Like, that's the most acmatic thing one can achieve. Right. I didn't know anything about stand-up growing up.

Like, I would pass the Addison Improv. Most people don't know about stand-up. Like, I'm always shocked at people that are like, this is my first stand-up show. I'm like, what were you doing? But then again, like, I've been to like three concerts in my whole life. What? I've been to, like, one Dodger game. I don't, I just, I work when people are performing.

Right. But you forget that the thing that makes your world go around, some people have no concept, you know? I do know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like, yeah, I'm just taking it all in. It's so interesting, but, you know,

and always being like, oh, you're so funny or whatever and stand up. And still, I'm just like, how do you choose to do that? I think it's not to sound like Superman or no. Who's the one that's like, it shows me? Yeah. Batman. That's the city needs a hero. I don't know.

A villain, I don't know. Isn't it? The game shows. In a way, like, it starts to fit. And, you know, it is a club of misfits, you know, and people come together and you forge these relationships with people that you probably wouldn't come in contact with otherwise. And it is a competitive thing, but you find your little cobbled together group. And eventually some of your friends become successful.

A lot of them don't. Yeah. And you have to be in it. I think acting is similarly. Like, you have, what is it? It's Tupac. Excuse me. To quote Tupac Chacore.

I love that it went from Batman to Tupac. I was like, it's all. I didn't choose a Thug Life. The Thug Life chose me. No, it's another one. It's a game chose me. No, you know what it is? There's also, is it 504 boys that's like, I ain't got to get money, money get me?

There's a lot of things that get people. There's a lot of things that get people in the end. Yes. For sure. Anyways. Yeah. But it's like, I forgot what I was saying, but I did correlate it to acting. I can't remember.

Acting. Shmacting. What about? I know this may sound like an annoying question, and I'm sure you got it a lot. But I even feel annoying saying it. But like I remember when I watched you, one of the first comments is, oh, she's so pretty. Like it never gets old. Yeah. But it's not as much of the pretty girl path as acting. Because I'm not that pretty. Like I'm okay with that. It's not like, But you're a pretty girl.

You're very pretty. Yeah, you're pretty. Sorry. No, no, it's not, I don't want people listening to be like, oh, my God, she has low self-esteem. Oh, poor her. Very high self-esteem. Women in comedy traditionally haven't been, like, gorgeous, right? Now it's not the case.

There's a lot of women, most women are just, like, cute girls that do it, you know? But when I started that one, and that's not to, like, throw any shade at the women doing it, but it's not, like, a stunning woman's practice, right? Because if you're funny, you are relying on something other than your, looks to attract people or to get people like you. Everybody's got their thing. When I go to an audition and I see the other actresses that I'm up against, I'm like,

well, that's, like, that's pretty. I'm pretty, but that's like structurally sound pretty. Like, there's a difference, you know? I don't lean into, I'm not like, I'm going to use this face to get that free coffee. Like, and it's just because growing up like that wasn't, you can

feel, women can feel you can feel that you're attractive and you can have a high self-esteem, but you can also kind of know that you're not like the hottest thing ever. And I think that's okay. Of course. To like know where you rank. Know your number. We've all dated above our means and we've all gone below and hopefully you marry someone that's perfect. Have you ever dated a guy where you're probably not because you guys are like hot actions? But like, have you ever dated a guy where you're just like, this guy's so hot and people are going to wonder like how much money I have. Oh, how much money

Every single one. I remember I had a boyfriend who was just like, they don't grow him like this in L.A. Yeah. And he was awful, but it was so hot. And I was just like, so proud. I was like, look at this gorilla. Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

Every girl has had that. Absolutely. Of course. And then you're like questioning. You're like, yeah. I had a nail guy give me the most profound advice one day. We were getting our nails down. He's like, Valentine's Day is coming up.

He was a nail guy. And he goes, here's something I want to teach you women. This is the problem with so many single women. You don't know your number. He's like, that's what I was talking about. Your hierarchy. Sevens to go with seven. Sorry, I'm sorry.

That's exactly it. Yes. This is not his idea. He stole this. Nail got told us. Nail this. It's like a Malcolm Gladwell thing, I think. Yeah.

He was like, if you're a seven and you're a woman, he goes, you should date a six. So that he feels so lucky to have you. He goes, but you, if you're a seven and you're trying to get a seven and you're trying to at a nine, he's going for a 10. Okay, let me poke. Let me get, poke calls out. Well, it's less that and more, of course, every woman is like a beautiful princess and like deserves the best or whatever.

If we are talking just structurally, like just face structurally, nines go with nines, 10s go with tens, five and under. It's kind of like whatever. And then, of course, the city you live in really, wow. It affects the number. It really does. Like, I'm way hotter in New York than in L.A. Because everyone's like, perfection is our command.

here. But it, so if we're just talking that, however, the things that make men more attractive don't necessarily make women more attractive, like, a sense of humor. Like, most guys are like, can't wait to get a boner and laugh. Usually, it's very intimidating.

Money is very intimidating, right? Sense of self. There are plenty of men, like my husband, who find those things attractive. Right. The key as a woman is to not be not be dissuaded by the men who want, want the things that you can't offer. Right.

Like if you are strong and you go for guys that are intimidated by it, like you just have to change that perspective. So you get a lot of girls that are really hurt. And they're like, men don't like a strong woman.

They don't like this. I'm like, no, there are so many good, you're giving it, you're applying this broad brushstroke to it. Find your strengths. And don't settle for anything less that someone who likes those. Agreed.

That is your flaw that you can't see that. Right. Because I've had, like, I went out with this really attractive guy who was an actor. and we never even kissed, which was a bummer. For me, but we went out and, like, the feedback was like, I just, he's like, I didn't think you're too smart.

Which, like, didn't. What? I'm like, I am. You're like, thank you. We could just kiss a little. That is so. Oh, my God. But he actually said that.

He was being honest. Yeah, he was genuinely like, you're too smart for me. Which is also code for like, you're kind of not as hot as me. That's okay. You know what it is. It's, it's, it's. I don't know what it is. I don't know.

Actually, I don't have what it is. Well, what's number one for you? Like, I know you're married now, but, okay. So that's what you're most attracted to. I guess. Yeah, because women are, we're cerebral creatures

and men can date like a blow-up doll and that'll just be their wife and that's fine and they don't need to be challenged. But women need more. Like, you will become unhappy. And you can even be an idiot. You still need someone that mentally stimulate.

you. That's why hideous stand-up comics have like hot lives. Of course. Because making them laugh. Yeah. And I think about that the ability to make a woman laugh.

Like women love a sense of humor, right? That's number one for me. We can look past looks. And it's not even about looking past as much as someone becomes attractive. Yeah. But I forgot the rest of it. But the sense of humor

is... Intelligence. Intelligence is yours. I had a funny joke and I can't remember it. Oh. But a sense of humor is key. Not so much for a guy. Do you believe...

We were talking about this this morning, too. Do you believe a sense of humor is attached to intelligence? Yes. Agreed. But there's a sense of humor in the way that we say it, like a sense of it

versus, like, you just think fart jokes are funny and you're an insult. Like, it just... I mean, the two are not related. Right, there's a difference. Right. To be witty and clever, you have to be, obviously, intelligent.

Yeah, like, even stand-up comics you don't like, or even comics you don't like, there's an intelligence behind it. And sometimes people are playing a character. And I don't know that that's attractive always to men because nobody wants to feel intimidated. I think women are constantly, if you look at women as they get older,

it's always like, I'm taking a class. Like your mother's taking French, your mom's reading a book, I'm doing these learning annex. It's seldom your dad. Your dad's like, I'm going to die in this chair. I don't want to know anything I don't want to know. So a mind is a very attractive thing.

Yeah. I mean, he can't be like an absolute bridge troll. But I think, intelligence, kindness, is key. Yeah, yeah. You don't want someone. Somebody, I read recently,

they're like, when you meet someone, it shouldn't be butterflies, it should be calm. And I don't know about that. Well, I've never heard that. I think that person is just trying to explain something.

But like, when I met my husband, of course, I was excited to meet him. Like, we met on like a date and whatever, there's butterflies. But halfway through the date,

I was like, I feel like I've known this person my whole life. Like, it feels like we've been married forever already. Not like a nagging, like pick up your underwear way. Like in a soul connection, like I know you from somewhere familiar cloth way. Just more in like I feel very comfortable with you. Like we feel like we came not, you know, like similar ilk.

And so, yeah, I think it actually just doesn't matter as long as you're happy. It doesn't matter if you get butterflies or calmness. Yeah. I think people tell you whatever their story was. 100%. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like this is the way it should be.

Like you should feel. this, you should feel that. Like, who's to say? Who's to say that you shouldn't go see a weird documentary on your first date and then take Perkinsets and get drunk? Like, who's to say? That shouldn't be her first date.

That sounds amazing, that way. It was the best. Yeah. He had a broken arm. And I was like, you get any pills for that? He's like, yeah. And I was like, do you want to take them with alcohol? He's like, I've never done that. I'm like, come with me. What was the documentary?

Yeah. It was called Tickled. Did you see this? That's David Ferrier's. That's my friend's documentary. Okay, how would I know that? Because he's a documentary. That's my friend. It was great.

And it's not like a first... I thought it was... We didn't know that it had that weird homoerotic twist toward the end. So I'm just like, do you want to see this documentary? And he was like, I'll get tickets. And he talked so loud. Oh, no.

And I knew I liked him because I wasn't annoyed. I thought it was because he was like excited to be on the date. That's cute. Like you weren't embarrassed or like. Yeah. I was like, you are so loud. and like so pumped to be. And then it got like weird.

It's real weird. And then I went and did a set and he came with me. It's in the book too. But I know. It wasn't like you need to watch my act and love it. I'm okay with not being my husband's favorite comic. But I had booked a set for that night because I was like, if this guy's a turd, I don't want to miss out on going to do a set. Right.

Like, do you want to miss a workout? No. And so at the end of the day, at the movie, I was like. Wait, after the perk of the alcohol, then you did a set? No, no, never. I never drink or anything and do that. No, no. it was we met for the movie, saw the movie,

he was super loud, I wore cutoff shorts that, like, I wouldn't wear now, but I think it was okay then. He was like, there was the summer where like, he's like, you were trying to like be the cutoff short girl. And I was like, I was. I didn't try, I was. And I said to him, this is going great. I did book a set, just in case this was awful.

But, you know, it's only 15 minutes. I was like, would you like to come? And if this works out, I guess you'll have to see the act at some point. Right. And he said, okay. And I knew he was a mensch because we went to the set. One of my best friends was running the show, and they gave us drink tickets. And I don't drink before shows ever.

So I gave him my drink ticket. I said, why don't you get a drink? And he was like, I'll wait for you. Oh, I'll wait to get loaded with you. That's so cute. And then we dropped off the car. I wouldn't go in his house just in case he was a bad person. And he brought out.

And then we went and we just went all around the east side and just drank a lot. How long has it been? How long have you guys been together? We've been married for four years. Wow. Yep. And you're like, I had to think what was the summer of the shorts.

I always get it wrong. Yeah, I know. Summer of shorts. Yeah. How did you meet him? On Raya. Oh. Shout out to a dating app

that's not paying me to plug it, but like, yeah. Good. Well, how do you feel about, well, obviously, Raya worked for you. You met your husband. Thank you for this ice coffee, by the way.

Do you guys all get green teas? Macha latte. Masha is like, it's a tradition now that we all have Macha latte. Yeah. Oh, did you not share that you were getting a matcha?

I just, I didn't know what was the thing. Rob, what do you do? We get in trouble. We get in trouble. Yeah, next time. I've already had three cups ago. Can't stop. I love it.

It's like my... I know. How do we survive? It actually hurts. Like, my stomach always hurts and I'm always on like overdrive, but I'm like, I'd rather exist like this. I'd rather feel this than nothing at all.

I don't do dating apps? Yeah. I had never done a dating app. Mm-hmm. Because, and you can appreciate this. You're much more famous than I. am, but like, you can't... No, no, for sure.

You were on... You put on some major television shows. You can't be like, hi, I'm Rachel Bilsen, and I'm just, like, on hinge, like, come at me. No. And so, I've always been, like, just...

Why did you... Are you on? No. No. I founded it. I've always been just famous enough that I couldn't be that exposed publicly,

but not famous enough that it's like, oh, we're on George Clooney's yacht this weekend. And because I don't... work on a TV because I was a standup, like you work alone a lot. Yeah. And I don't want to date other stand-up. So your pool is small. So it's like, maybe you'll meet someone or like maybe it'll be a friend. And so I just never did them because it didn't feel, it felt too vulnerable and not like

in a, you need to be more vulnerable and like a safety. Like I don't want some dude who's like watched all my clips. Yeah, no, that's creepy. It just felt bad. Yeah. And so that's it. And so I finally Raya came along and there was like, it was the first one I think that had like some exclusivity. Like there was like a paywall or you had to be invited. And not that everyone on there is a celebrity, but like it was all under this like tacit understanding that like, we are in some way or another artist or artist adjacent. Like I'm not going to like take a bunch of pictures of you.

Right. It just felt a little safer. So I was like, I'll give it a shot. Well, a couple dates. Still talking to those dudes. And I met him and I was his first riot date. Really? Yeah.

Oh, that's so cool. What does he do? He is a chef. Awesome. It is awesome. That is awesome. I'm not even going to pretend it's not awesome. And he opened, he was the opening chef of this place called Bloodsos.

You probably know it because you're a boy. Because men love Bloodsos. Barbecue? Yeah, barbecue. So he was the opening pit master for that and just wrote Kevin Bloodsoe's cookbook. He also opened up the prime pizza. He's not like the owner, but opening chef for that. Cofax, he did like the breakfast burrito that Hollywood loves so much.

And he writes, like he wrote Jeremy Fox's cookbook and he writes a lot of cookbooks for chefs. and he's kind of like the guy you call to be like, how do I make this better? Rob loves him already. Yeah. I get prime pizza all the time. It's tasty. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, he, like, I'll be at home and he'll be, like, recipe testing a salad. Oh, man. Yeah. You really haven't figured out. See, that's sexy. That is hot in a man that can cook. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever had a man that can cook? Yeah. For sure. Men love, secretly men are loving cooking. I would love my man to cook, but he doesn't. I don't really cook, and it's not like a feminist thing as much as like, it doesn't spark joy. Yeah.

I just like, oh, a dish. Like, I get a dish. I eat a lot of things off of like, like, um, like kitchen rags. And my husband's like, why don't you take out a plate? I'm like, because I don't want to wash the plate. Right. So I will eat this over the garbage. Yeah.

Like a raccoon. Yeah. Um, I think cleaning is the worst part of cooking. And I think when you are a chef or when you are a, I get, no, a chef, like, you're just used to it. Right. So he's always, like, it's just part of the gig. Um, but yeah, it's, it's cool.

Yeah, you get to reap all of the benefits. question for you. Yeah. So he didn't tell me this until recently. We've been together for five years or six years, but married for four years. Okay, the first time he cooked for me, he was like, I'm going to make you pasta. Like, what kind of pasta do you want? And I don't like love pasta. I just don't. But I was like, if you make pasta like spaghetti, I'm like, can you put chicken on it? And I don't think that's weird, but apparently he revealed to me it's like this trashy suburban like corporate restaurant, like Barry Magiano's like, like put a, out. I had a chicken breast for $3.95.

Yeah. And I didn't know because I'm from Dallas where like everything's a corporate restaurant. Yeah. Like, would that give you pause if someone asked for a chicken breast on their pasta? It sounds like my husband who's from Pittsburgh. That's what it sounds like. Like, it sounds like him and his family, they'd be like, oh, we're having pasta with chicken. Like, you need a protein.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I've been cooking for myself for so long. I'm like, you have, I always have to have a protein. It's always chicken. And it was until recently he was like, I judged you for it, but I didn't want to say anything. So I just made it for you.

That's so cute. That's so sweet. He's like, it's trash. Now I would never do it. Right. Well, Rob's a superfoody. How do you feel about chicken on pasta? It's something my mom would do.

Okay. It's a Midwest thing. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's like we've been taught, you know, you need your protein. Americans are obsessed with it. And it never occurred to me and go to like Caraba's grill with your mom and step. dad and you get a pasta with chicken on it.

Yeah. So many people listening are like their heads are exploding on the freeway. The only chicken I think is suitable for being on a pasta would be like a parmesan. Yeah. Right? Oh, chicken on pasta? I mean, I feel like you have a side of pasta. You have a side of bar.

But I'm just saying like, do you like chicken on pasta? I do like the like, you know, trashy, yeah. Chicken and broccoli and pasta. You know, that's very like chain. Yeah. That's what it is. It is. But I like it. Yeah. It's tasty. Listen, it's tasty. I saw a dish last night that was like a one pot dish with cheese, broccoli, chicken, and pasta.

Am I going to make it? Right. Fuck. Yes, I am. And it's going to be delicious. That's good, especially with the cheese. I mean, come on. That's going to be delicious. I'm a big fan of shitty food, though. But I like nice food. I'd appreciate it. But I'm big fan. Let the record reflect. She does like nice food.

I do. She does. Sometimes. But I am a bigger fan of shitty. Whenever I cook dinner, my husband's like, you can make me anything. And I think it's great. And I'd be like, you know. Like, oh no. Yeah. And then if I go home with him and eat, like, food that was prepared from where he's from, I'm like, oh, I get it. Well, Pittsburgh, having been there many times, like, that's, it's weird because Pennsylvania is,

you know, half of the state is East Coast. The Philly side. Yes. My mom's from Philly. Right. The Pittsburgh is Midwest. Yeah. Which is weird because Ohio is considered Midwest.

And if you look at a map, it is nowhere near the Midwest. It is very far east. It was a very strange place. But Pittsburgh, that's very, like, that's, it's not rust belt or maybe it is, but it's cold. And it's blue collar. And they are just eating. Like, that whole area of the country is like, I'm freezing and I need it. And I'm hungry.

I think of Buffalo, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, all the cities that I play. These are places where people are drinking a lot. They love their team and they're cold. They love their team. This is it. You've got it. Nailed it. Yeah.

Yeah. They're out. They got their accent. And they're angry. And they're hungry. They're hungry. Like permanties. Oh, Permanti.

Do you know how many permany? Have you have Vito's pizza? No. It sounds atrocious. It's atrocious. It's so good, though. They give it to you, like, not cooked with just, like, the cheese on top. And then it melts in the car when you drive home.

It's like a thing, but I've had a lot of Pramany sandwiches. The Permani sandwich, do you know about these? No. It's this thing in Pittsburgh. It's Permanty brothers, but they say Permananis. It's a hamburger. It's a sandwich. as a hamburger with fries in it. And the reason it was done that way was for like the steel

workers like on their break. It's like how people put peanuts in their Coke. Like it was a quick way to eat. Wait, peanuts in their Coke? That's like a regional thing somewhere. Okay. Everybody's got their thing. I guess so. I want to try all of these though. I'm like, oh, I only know a few from different states. But it's good, but I've had it sober. It's literally a burger with fries in it? But like a lot of fries and it sounds great to me. Or sandwiches, like roast beef sandwiches and it's got like cold slat and french fries in it. But when you eat it sober, you're like, I got to lay down. It's for drunk food. It's for

hard workers and drunk food. It's not for like 2 p.m. like, let's do this and go to a farmer's market. See, and I'm sober and he took me there for the first time and that's all we ate the whole time I was there. Oh my gosh. And he was like, you're going to die. It's so good. And I ate it. You're not going to die. I was like...

I was like, is there like a... Do you guys have salads here? Anywhere in this town? Like, one? It is the thing. When we're on the road, You know, you're flying all these different places. And I love these cities. And I love the people and, like, getting to tour this country and have a working knowledge of my country versus just what you see on the news, which is so polarizing in L.A.

It's easy to, like, write off everyone. So I so appreciate that. But you go to some cities. And I'm not even talking about, like, food, desert, socioeconomic disparity. We're just talking cultural taste. Yep. Some places, you're just like, I just, it can't be another biscuit. Just one cream.

I cannot have another biscuit. And so I'll just, like, drink coffee all day. until I find a chicken breast. And a whole food are more ubiquitous now. But, like, I mean, I've had, like, bending machine dinners. Like, sometimes you're just, like, I need, like, my arteries need a break. Yeah. The South is the number one offender.

Because everything's, like, home cooking. It's insane. How. And it's, you know, it's good for a little bit. But, like, then you try to get a salad. And they're like, okay, like, how many pounds of ranch did you want? Yeah. You're like, just the green stuff, please.

Yeah, we're just speaking my language. The only place we could eat. the only salad I could find in the entire town was at an olive garden. And I remember just like, don't knock the olive garden. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not getting a nerve with you.

Yeah. I'm not talking to olive garden. But I wanted to be green. One green leaf. Like, I love cheese sky factory. I said. You need something green. I mean, places are getting better.

I remember when I first started going to Nashville, there was a, I mean, the gulch, which is now this, like, huge tourist area. Right. There was a place called the turnip truck. And it's not like going back that many years, but like this is before everyone started moving to Nashville and it has like juices. And it's like a little market. It's a little market. And I would just hung over after like nights at Zanies is forever ago. Like I would just drag myself there for like a beet juice because like I could not have any more hot chicken. Right. So you got to find those little hippie places. Right. They do. They do. It's just harder to find in some places. You got to bring your own food, your own little snickety snacks. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because you go on tour. Right?

Yeah. So now how is that going to look now with a kid? Well, I will say this. Shout out to my daughter. I toured pregnant with her. I did a full month in Europe. We did like 15 shows. I was seven months pregnant.

And I had the best time. I went everywhere, I ate everything. My husband was deathly ill. He caught something. And he had to go to like a Swedish emergency emergency room. And I'm just like, I'll be on the treadmill. I thought I was going to give birth to a raisin

because I was like sucking the life out of my daughter. Like I had so much energy. Food never tasted. Like, I had the best time. Yeah. So she was cool. And, you know, I don't take her because she has her schedule. Yeah.

And we have the nanny. And my husband doesn't come on the road. So I don't, I think, I don't want to be selfish if I don't have to take her. Just at this, you know, she's trying. We're sleeping and we're doing things. And maybe when she's a little bit older. But I also, I don't know. Like, you should know how to order room service.

You shouldn't expect it. Like, I don't want her to be, like, a brat. So we'll see. Yeah. And it's also, it's so much, even for an adult, like, it's so much, you're on the move. Uh-huh. So that would be hard for her, I think. Right.

No, but I think that's smart and, like, it's respectable. You know what I mean? If you have the resources, I understand, take it. You know, there's no judgment there, but it's more just, God, as a woman, you're always like, and no judgment. No, I know. I know. I know.

She stays home. Yeah. And also, she goes to bed at 630. So it's not like she's coming. That's what the nanny said. so I just went with it. Does she sleep at the night? Sometimes.

Wow. Sometimes. Did you sleep trainer? Did she sleep trainer? Yeah. I mean, she goes to bed. Maybe she'll get up at midnight for like a little bit of bottle, but like the kid can sit. That's why she's nine feet tall because she just like, and she gets up early.

Wow. But even if she went to bed at eight, like I go to work. So I won't see her. Even if I wanted to be, I don't get to enjoy her when I get home. She's asleep. That's what I'm saying. So because I work at night. Well, that kind of works out.

Yeah. How hard does it to get up in the morning then? I don't get up. You're like, I don't. Yeah, I don't. My nanny does it. I don't even care if people judge me for that. Everybody would have a full-time nanny if they could.

And before I even had the baby, I was like, I will spend the money on this. This is the life I'm choosing. Yeah. I just had to, my nanny, I just moved back here from being up north. So she didn't move back with us or nanny. And I've cried every day since she's been gone. Like I'm going through an actual heartbreak. Yeah. Because you get so attached to them.

Also, do you have that nanny? You only have one kid? Two kids. Was she there from the beginning, like the day you gave birth? She wasn't. She was there from the time we moved to that town. My son was only three months old. He's three and a half now. She's been by my son. She is part of our heart. That you pay. Yeah. That you pay. But she does so much. Mirna, who would probably hate that I'm saying her name because she doesn't like, I'll I'm always like, get on the Instagram with me. She's like, absolutely not.

She, and I'm like, really, you don't want fame? She was there the day. This is actually a crazy story. So, you know, getting, I mean, you probably know this. Like, getting a nurse, a baby, like, help. Like, especially in L.A., like, these things book out before you're pregnant. I don't know if you've had that experience. I haven't had help like that.

Like, my mom helps me out a lot. Yeah. But I have a lot of friends. Yeah. Cool. You're like, that's second great. But no, like there's agencies, there's all these things. It's a whole thing. Yeah. It's a whole wreck. So I start calling people who have a lot more money than me just to see like, what do you do? And we're like, I trust you. So start getting names. Start interviewing. You know, one woman was a total lunatic. She was like, I'll have your baby sleeping through the night by two weeks. Also, I smoke cigarettes. And I'm just like, again, that's so. And you find someone you like, and then it's like, sorry that the family that I'm with actually is going to keep me. Like these women make so much money. So I find this woman. Their name is she. Cheryl and she seems great. And I want to say she's from Trinidad. And I FaceTime her and she is in like a high rise in Manhattan with this other family.

Yeah. And I was like trying to put the, sometimes you can put the pieces together and figure out what celebrity is. But I'm like, okay, like this is legit. So I, we talk. I'm like, Cheryl's great. I'm going to have Cheryl. Great. This woman's going to live with us. It's going to be great. Tell me everything. And she's like, you need to send X amount of dollars like deposit. I'm like, okay. So I just like PayPal this woman. Like a bunch of money. And then about two weeks before I'm supposed to give birth, I start getting these texts from her that are like, I'm not. feel like I'm sick. It's not COVID. It's like a respiratory thing. Like sporadic text and like a couple of voice memos that sound really sick and my spidey senses. I'm like, this is a scam. Like, yeah, she was a reference, but like the picture's all blurry. And she was, turns out, like deathly ill in the hospital. And so of course, I'm like attached to this woman now and I'm scared for her because it looks really

bad. But I'm also like, what about my money? What am I going to do? She goes, I'm going to send you my cousin and I'm like, okay, but I don't know her and I know you. I like text with this cousin. I get a reference. I don't know the woman. And I'm like, is this reference a fake friend? Like you ever like pose as someone's boss for like a friend for a reference? Duh. And yeah. And so I'm like, what do I do about the money? She's like, I'll get it from my cousin. And I came home from the hospital and Murna was there. Oh, Murna's the cousin. Merno is the cousin. Everything for the baby had been set up. Oh my god.

My mother-in-law had like, she came like a day early while I was in the hospital. She's like, does she have another cousin? Yeah, I need. Marna knows everyone. I need her. And I walk in, of course, you're emotional. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. And I hired her, of course, for the help.

But also, like, I needed a woman to teach me how to be a mother. That's right. I don't know this stuff. No, how can you know anything? Even though at the beginning of the podcast, I was like, you naturally know. But you don't know things. That's what I was saying. We don't know.

We need to know. Why would I know? Why would I know any of this? And she does not take her eyes off my child. The professionalism on this woman, I don't have that kind of attention span. Anyways, the education I've received just from being near her while she cares for my baby, just the things that you want to know, it's invaluable. Yeah.

I couldn't agree more. I love Murna. I need Murna. I need Murna. She does not play. She doesn't play. I think for me, too, it's like the camaraderie. Like even just having someone there to help me as far as like, even if they don't have the answers, like, if I think that there's something really isolating about becoming a new mom and you're there and you're with this kid and you're like, I don't know what to do or what they need or what I should.

Like even if there's someone else there to be like, does this feel right to you? Do you think like I find it helpful to just have someone. by my side of it was someone I hired her to check my work like that's what it is if I'm doing something right I don't know I didn't know a little baby couldn't have water right right no I had to think about it I'm like they can't have water you can't get everything too everything goes out of your head like if you have another one you won't remember any of this right and so really like I just am there she does everything on her own and I'm there and I spend as much time with my daughter as I can but like I don't know like if she starts crying like

Myrna knows which one that is. And to anyone that might judge that, like, I need to make money to send my daughter to college and pay for a mortgage. Like, this isn't like I'm outback, like snorting cocaine and just like reading us weekly. And so I don't know whose life that is. But she, I also have to say this because I thought this was the funniest thing. Like, all I ever want in this life is a perspective that I wasn't aware of. Like, all I ever want is to get my mind blown, especially when it comes to like cultural

differences. And I say this from just like a purely inquisitive place. So Merna's from Jamaica. Very matriarchal society. Like she does not fuck. Like, I think white women are very different when it comes to like what white parents allow. And Merna is just like, if the baby cries, like she is playing you. Do not pick her up. Like it's very like, and she's right. And the baby knows what's going on. So the other day it was raining here in L.A. as you may have felt. I don't know if you felt it. It's raining. And I go, Murna, give me Sierra. She's like, why? I go, I'm going to take her outside. It's raining. And she goes, you people.

And I go, what does that mean, Merna? White people? She goes, yes. You people. She goes, white people. I go, what? She goes, white people always go in the rain. And I go, do black people not? She goes, no. And I go, you're right. Like, when it rains, my first thought is, I need to come stand in the rain. And it is such like a white woman like, oh, the rain.

She's like, I'm not going out there. Wait, it's like that whole Drew Barrymore video of her in the rain. In the rain. And she's like, you're not taking my baby out in the rain. I'm like, the rain, Murna. She said you're not taking her. My first thought is, how do I get in that rain? Oh, my gosh.

Right? Wouldn't you? Is that your first thought? Yeah. Not yours when it rained. No, I don't think so, but that's just because I hate being wet. Oh. Oh, but whenever I see the rain, I'm like, it's raining.

Yeah, it's very exciting. Put the baby after she can feel it. She's like, you're not taking my baby. Oh, my gosh. We'll stay in. And it was such a cultural different. And it was so funny. It's so, like, the lowest stakes.

I get the rain. But I just, I love, like, getting little. gems like that. Yeah. I feel like too, though, with having kids, like I need someone like that because my instinct, like today my son was like wanting to stay home from school, right? That's his instinct. Want to stay home from school.

I'm like, let's let him. You know? And my husband's like, he needs to go to school. Yeah. And I need someone to be like, the kid is playing you, you know? Yep. And I feel like I always want to make it. softer and easier for the kid, but really that makes soft easy kids.

Okay. Right? Yeah. And I need someone to check me. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. You need to be checked. But you're doing it from a place of, oh, my God, what if there is a real reason and he

really needs this? Like, you're really doing the best you can. You're not being soft. You're being sweet. And you need someone to be like, he, yeah, he's playing you. Right. It's not about his emotions. He just doesn't want, like, there's that fine line.

Yeah. Because there might be a day where. there is a real reason. For sure. I mean, my daughter recently had a cold and she had to stay home from school, right? And, like, I thought it would just be one day. It was super mild.

And the next day, she's like, I still don't feel good. And I'm like, is she trying to... She just wants to watch descendants all day, you know? So I say, all right, you can stay home, but you're not allowed to watch descendants. The George Clooney movie? That's her favorite movie. I'm like, how smart is this girl?

It's her favorite. She loves George. But so I would like... The Hawaiian? No, there's a TV show for kids. Yes. I'm aware. Okay.

All the villains's children. Oh, cute. Uh-huh. So, and I'm like, but you're not going to be allowed to watch TV. But for me, I'm like, fuck. Because, like, I actually need her to watch TV. She's home all day. Anyways.

And I'm like, you're not allowed to watch. Do you still feel like you don't feel good and you to stay home? She was like, yeah, I really don't feel good. And I'm like, yeah. So I was like, well, all right. She called your bluff. A little bit. She was not feeling well.

She loved school. So I have to say, it wasn't. But anyway. I don't know, Rachel. It sounds like your daughter. Fuck you guys. Wow. I need to be checked.

Wow. Merna. Merna, help. Help. But yeah. You know, I mean, I am very chill with my daughter, like about certain things. Some things, like, I, like, preschool. Like smoking weed, you're like, fine.

Perkinset. I shouldn't have shared that. It was just a one time. But, like, preschool in L.A. is like a very competitive thing. Oh, my God. It's insane. Even if you aren't, like, testing to get in, like, just, spots. You don't go to your two. My daughter's eight months old and I went to the preschool yesterday.

And this is the second time we've been. Oh my God. Because in our area, there's like this one preschool and they only take a couple of kids because it's small. And I showed up. I was like, I just want to reintroduce you. And she was like, well, here's the form. I was like, I'm going to fill it out here. She's like, you could just drop it. I was like, I'm going to fill it out right here. So I filled it out. And there's like an application fee. And I was just like, I'm Benmoing you. She's like, you don't, I'm like, it's happening right now. I need to show you that I am very serious about this. Like, I think when it comes to things that meant a lot to my family growing up, like, there's no, like, you're not fucking around. But like, yo, if you want to put

that hairbrush on your mouth, that's okay. Right. What do you mean by test, though? Like, some private schools. Like, when I, I went to like a college preparatory school growing up, and so to get in when you're younger, like, they want, they want smart kids and so they want to see how you think, you know. So I think there's all different ways. It depends on the type of kid you have. Right. You know, you could have a kid who's a brilliant artist and can't do math. That would be me. So it just depends. So some schools, especially if it's a school that it's not about the kid, it's just about like, did you get in on time? Yeah.

I'm like, I'm going to control what I can. Like, I filled this out here as the vet mom. Right. Like, I will see you in exactly two years. Yeah. It is. It's crazy, but it's more like a college thing to get in school in L.A. Like for these young kids and it's insane.

Like, yeah. The money, the applications, the testing, the interviews. Like that it's. He's already on the list. He's a month younger than yours. And he's already, yeah, preschool's figured out now. But at the same time, you're just like, by the time my daughter gets to college, if we're not colonizing Mars, like, will a college education have the same value that it does now? Will the things that we value educationally?

Like, will you be able to just make money from, like, fidgeting with a Rubik's Cube on TikTok? You can do that. You can do that. I was always so precious about education. And, of course, it's almost more important to me that she'd be worldly versus, like, a good test tanker. Like, academic institutions, wherever my strong suit either. And so I guess you just have to see what kind of kid do you have? Yeah.

Right. Right. Yeah. It's different. It's such an individualized. Yeah. Do you think lean into it? So here's my, this is where I'm conflicted or not.

I have no parental advice. No, I know. I'm just curious what you think about this because so I have two kids. Wait, what's wrong with a hairbrush in the mouth? I feel like there was hair in it. Oh, like, choke on hair? Okay. Well, I didn't know if Merna like told you something about a hairbrush.

And I was like, I need to know. Oh, no, there's no hairbrush advice. Okay. I'll think of any gems of wisdom if I can think of any. Please. So do you think that when your child has strengths, you lean into it? Like, let's say I have one child who's really artistic, right? Loves to sit there and draw all day long.

Cannot throw, catch a ball. Does not want to play sports. Rachel laughs because it's like. It's so like. I went yesterday. I had to talk to the PE coach because, because I was like, look, he's petrified of you. He doesn't want to come to school.

Oh, no. If he has PE, and then I watched, he's like, why don't you stick around and watch PE? And I watched, and I was like, oh, fuck, he looks like a wounded duck. Like, it's bad, you know? And so I'm like, do I lean further into his skills, right? And just be like, you don't need to do that. Let's focus on your art.

Or is it like you kind of got art on lock? Do we lean into the stuff that you're not getting? Get you on track for the 20-29 Winter Olympics. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I know you're not here to give us advice. I don't think it's always even years. Yeah, two and four.

Yeah, it's every four. Thank you, Rob. Like, do you think you go further into it or do you go into... I can only say what I think. Yeah, I'm just curious what you think. Now, granted, her strong suit right now is taking my sunglasses and putting in her mouth. Right.

Like, that is what she is best at. So I don't know what... You're not leaning into that. We're not leaning into that because they're very expensive. I guess it's like that thing I would imagine as a parent like the things you always want your kid to do the things that were important to you like I fish so I want my son to provision I played sports growing up I am not like an accomplished athlete but it was just a thing everybody played

and I think it I think sports and it can be any sport those are important to me I think that's an integral part of development and I think it's not about succeeding at it I think it's about learning teamwork and learning how to lose. And so for me, I would just be like, look, you got to go out there. You don't have to be great at running. Like, you just have to do it. And I'm not, there's no pressure, but you can't just not do the things you don't want to do.

And I remember I went to this high school. I came out of public school and I went to a private school that was like hyper-competitive. And it was private so like everybody can play on the team. You don't have to try out for it. You may not get to play. But I went for the volleyball team. And we had two days. And I was going to ninth grade.

We had never done two a days before, which are awful. Anybody who's played a sport can tell you, like, two a days, it's for anyone listening. You practice in the morning and you practice in the afternoon. And it's Texas. And it's hot. And you're running two miles a day. And it's just a lot if you're not like an athlete that's trained for it. And it was so hard.

It was so physically difficult. And these girls were like, girls who might go play in college. Like this was serious. And I came home crying because I never had to do anything like that. And I was like, I think I'm just, and I'm not going to play about. And my mom was like, you need to go back. Like, even though you hate it, even though you're not going to be a volleyball player, you got to go back.

And I was like on JV the whole year. I was not great. But she didn't let me quit just because like I thought it was hard. And I think that's important. I think it's an important lesson. And if you're looking at the lessons you're teaching your kids, not so much like forcing them to do something they don't want to do. But I agree there is a lot of value.

You got to see it through. To see things through. He doesn't have to play next year, but you got to go. Right. That's exactly where I'm at. But also the team, you know, being on a team. team is really good. Because you can tell the kids who didn't play sports.

My wife and I have that because she did not play any sports and she is the sorrest loser. Oh, yeah. I mean, too. I have the worst. I hate losing at board games. It's terrible. Yeah. I just think it's just there's just valuable things in it and even if they hate it or find the thing

they hate the least and just have them stick it out because it's an important lesson. I agree with that. That's what we're doing and I feel like that's important too. I was just curious. On your take. No, because he really, I've never seen a kid. Run so horrible. You run so horrible.

More anti-anything physical. Maybe he's a better. It's like anything. He wrestles really well because he wrestles his dad. So he has the coordination. And Jeff was a wrestler, wasn't he? Jeff was a wrestler. Yeah.

But the thing is, is that I'm like, My husband wrestled. Is that weird? Yeah, I think it's weird. I do. I feel, I find the outfits. I tell him the outfits, it's very weird in wrestling. I guess I don't think about, I just remember Foxx Catcher 5. What was the movie called?

Firefox? The one with Steve Correll. Yeah. Fox Catcher. I think it's just Fox Catcher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The serious movie. My husband also went to, like, UCLA for playwriting.

So he's not like, this premier, like, Greco-Roman wrestler. But I just think it's, like, all about what's important to me and what's important to me that I pass on versus forcing on them, you know, I know she's going to be taller than me, so I will encourage her to play a sport that I couldn't play. She's already taller than me. She will be a top model. She will be top model. I share that.

I mean, I'm only five, too, so anyone's taller than me. But my daughter is, like, for sure. Tall. Yeah. That generation is going to be very tall. She does. And she's really athletic. And I'm happy she's into it, though.

She actually likes to do the things. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's the whole thing. The team playing. I mean, I just, I can't help but laugh all the time at Elliot, her son. Because Breyer and him are friends. And she's always like, Ellie, you want to come around to surf with me? I want to play tennis.

Every time he's like, no. No. The kid knows what he is. Yeah. He's in a hard. I mean, he's really a really good, like, he draws all day long and he's really good at it. And so I'm like, you know, he may not be an athlete, but it's important to do the things that we're not necessarily good at too.

For sure. Right. And also, like, just heart health-wise. Right. And move your body life. Yeah. Like knowing how to work out and if it's always been a part of your life. Like just, yeah, being, especially as an artist, like, understanding your body and being.

in touch with it as I like break my jaw texting every day. But still, like hunched over. How do you break your jaw? Just clenching it and you're hunched over. Yeah. Like I just, I had physical therapy this morning. Like, just texting. Just from, who knows, just life, I don't know, maybe standing too much, maybe being a keyboard. But I don't know. At a keyboard. Yeah. Text. Oh, that kind of keyboard. Any keyboard. I thought you meant like, you were like, you're a musician too. I'm a music. I am. It's part of your act. Yeah. I play a, a lot of piano live on stage. Your neck doesn't hurt all the time?

Mine does. No. Yeah. No? I've never heard someone say it doesn't. Their neck? No. I don't think so.

Really? No. Your neck hurts? Yeah. All the time? Yeah. All the time? Rob.

No. Interesting. Maybe they raise them differently in Granite Creek. Where do you from? I'm from here. I don't know. Now I'm like, wait, why doesn't my neck hurt? Or it hurts so bad and you don't know a life

without it hurting, so you don't know anything other than pain. Right. You're in so much pain right now and you have no idea what relief feels like. My joints hurt. Right. Like my knees hurt. Good bitch. It's gonorrhea.

No, I don't want you to hurt. It's the gonorrhea. I thought it was just like after, I don't know how old you are, but like after 35, I'm 39. You're assuming I'm over 35. Yeah. Yeah. I am. I made my new nanny.

First day on the job. Guess how old I was yesterday. Olivia, that's mean. It's harassment. She harasses everyone. It's harassment. First of all, I assumed it, I mean, because you have two kids, right? And you live in L.A.

Yep. And I find that a lot of women, you don't see a lot of like 22-year-old moms in L.A. In L.A., it's like most moms are like 50. Yeah, exactly. And they just had the kid. I'm going to be like 80 at my kids' graduation. Yeah, I said to her, I was like, how old do you think I am? And she goes, I know.

How old is she? A asshole. 27. That's, wow, that's fine. I thought like a baby. She said, I think you look young, but you're not. Oh, she's smart. I do not.

Yeah, she goes, I think you look young, but you're not. 42. And I was like, I'm 42. She knew like, I met my match. And the curse was broken. Yeah, you just crumble. That's not fair because people will, even if you are hideous, which you're not. But even if you are, people are always going to be respectful.

They're going to be like, 20. You look like I got in there. I kind of want to meet the person that isn't. Like, I'd be so curious to hear what their response is. I thought 42 was super honest, unless she really thought I was 48. I have no idea what a person. I thought you were younger than me and I googled you. I just turned 41.

I know. I read that. And I was just like, oh, I guess because I always saw you on TV and I just assumed everybody's like a teenager. But I don't know what anyone's supposed, like I talk about how like in L.A. particular with the work that gets done. Yeah. After like, maybe after 40, maybe after 35, like women make this choice, like, do you want to look old or do you want to look weird? And women are just like, I'm going to opt for weird. And so everybody's just like a little uncanny valley like reptilian. And forget about the bad work. But like I do feel there's this like nebulous age in LA and we'll call it for like 25 to like 45 where like anything goes. Like you're still young. You're still like you're still cool. It's okay if you wear a crop top. Like we're all. kind of in this high school together. Yeah. And I don't know what anyone looks like

because it's so warped from being here. I know. Because when you go to the rest of the country where people are quote unquote normal and they're like, oh my God, you're so skinny. And you're like, really? Because I feel huge in the jeans at home and I feel old.

It's really tough in L.A. And it's really tough when you're on TV or in the business. And I talk about this pretty openly because, you know, and again, it's like you don't want to judge. Like whoever does things or doesn't do things. I do.

Well, it's hard to me because I haven't, you know, I'm 41 and you know, you start to age. And I'm kind of tired of not seeing aging on faces when you're watching TV and stuff. But of course, it's their choice. But it's a little tough because you don't really see anyone that looks like natural. There's that and there's, it skews everything because even though you know better, you think they look like that naturally. even though I know it's impossible. Even though I know everyone on TV is wearing hair extensions,

I'm still mad at myself that I don't have that much hair. Even though you know it's fake. Right. And it does warp everything. And it is this sort of misogynist, I hate to say like patriarchal because it sounds annoying,

but this lens with which we view women that you should always be like young and fertile or you're just like this old mom. Right. And even when you start auditioning for like young mom, you're like, I don't feel like a young mom. Like I don't feel like a mom. Because like what's a mom?

And then when I, I'll be honest about this, when I do see a woman who has had absolutely no work done, I'm like, I don't like the way that looks. Right. I have not had any work done. And I, and so it's like a weird thing, but it is, it's less about me being mean and more about like how your brain gets warped.

Your brain gets warped. Like when they talk about like, like I'm always like, I have a real woman's body and nothing fits me. And when they show like real women modeling, I'm so fucked up from the. 90s and from media that I'm like, that looks bad. But a rail thin model, you get angry at that too. And so, like, you've been brainwashed.

Right. When you do see a normal-looking woman, you're like, ooh, she, that doesn't look so good. Right. But then again, maybe they shot her in high-deaf and they shouldn't do that. Well, there was nothing cooler in the 90s than, like, Kate Moss and, like, all of that, right? And what we, like, you're saying. And it's just kind of, we'll sign it kind of the same generation. I mean, you're obviously a couple years younger, but that's what we...

I am. Thank you. I am younger. Yeah, you are. But it's true. Let me know if you need to know anything. But it does like perma warp your brain. And I talk about this and I do think race has a lot to do with it.

Like, I've been reading this stuff about like the inextricable connection between like white supremacy and thinness. Right. People talk about, you know, your access to the things that can make you thin, but also the sort of misogynistic thing of like, wanting women to disappear. And all of that I get. And that sort of Nordic look, like that, like very narrow hips, like that narrow, like almost boy bodies, which are, if you think about it in fashion favored, because gay men are doing the design. So it looks more like a man. And also clothing hangs better off of less curves. A hanger. Which is the way it, you know, they want it to look. And even though I don't have that body and even though I know it's wrong, like I will always want

be thinner. I say that without having an eating disorder as someone who had multiple baked goods from tartine this morning, but it is in the back of your mind, like your preferred aesthetic will always be that real thin look. Even though you know that's bad and even though it is bad and wrong. And it's something that I, it's a generational thing that I won't ever be able to shake. Right. And it's also, the thing is, it's not bad and wrong if it's someone's natural state. Sure. Right. But it's bad and wrong. wrong if it's some mental warping of the mind, right? And I think that I appreciate you being honest. Thank you. And yeah, because, you know, the whole body positivity and this and that, it's like,

I don't feel like anyone's being vulnerable enough to even say what their preferences anymore. Because here's the, because the truth is, whatever you say will be used against you to say, well, you're marginalizing other people. And so it is all in the way that you say it. Like, I saw a larger mannequin at like a Nike store or something. And I stopped because I was like, I mean, this is a couple years ago, but I was like, I've never seen a mannequin. Look like that. And I am like an in-shaped woman, but like my thighs will always be just a little too big for any pants that I wear. Like it's always a little tight. And I have felt so horrible about, and I think I have a great body and I have a lot of confidence, but I've always felt so bad about my thighs.

So I can't imagine if you are someone who has just a larger body, the messaging and never seeing yourself and how important that is. And like, where do people fucking get off regulating women this much? And now I'm a part of the problem because like I low-key would like, well, I'd love to lose five more pounds. And I wouldn't, it's not about any other woman. It's only about me. Right. I don't. And I guess my heart just breaks for the girls out there that don't have that self-esteem.

or that don't have any role models and they feel so bad or people that go out of their way to say horrible things about women's bodies and you don't even know that person. So I just, like, I just wish, I just wish that,

my wish for women is that you have someone in your life that's letting you know, like, no, no, in real life, most people don't think about that. And in real life, your body is perfect. Right. And attractive. Especially raising a daughter now, too. 100%.

Yeah. Like, it's the biggest thing. The things that we are told that matter in the real world and to real men, if that is who you're attracted to, do not actually matter. Right. And it is a way, I talk about this in my book, like, it is, we try to focus on having it all as a way of preoccupying us so that we don't vote, show up at rallies, focus on things that are bigger.

That's it. I like that. That's interesting. And it's true. Yeah. Like, my husband will be like, oh, I think you're getting a little skinny. And I'm like, thank you. Thank you.

And he's like, no, no, no. I don't, he's like, it's borderline too skinny. And I'm like, thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, honey. It's true. But I also grew up with a mom that really values being thin. I love her with my heart. 90s mom. Yeah. They talk about us on TikTok. Oh, do they? Do they? Any questions you have about Gen Z? Like, I'm your conrad. Neither of us are on TikTok. So we know nothing about life. Don't do it. No. Yeah. But she would be like, my mom is the most honest person where I'd be like, mom, do I need to lose weight? And she'd be like, like, mom, do I need to lose weight? And she'd be like, like, like five pounds. Five pounds. I have a whole joke about it. Oh, do you really? You want to lose five pounds.

You always want to lose five pounds. Five pounds. The 90s mom thing, they talk about, it's interesting because Gen Z, they may have had 90s moms, but it's like this talking about a culture that you weren't really mentally present for. But I look back now and they're like, did you have a mom who would say have an apple? My mom always tells me to have an apple before I have dinner, so I don't eat too much dinner. And I've never, like, struggled with weight or anything.

My mom, are you hungry or you just bored? Which is fair. Like, yes. Which that one I'm like, okay, you know what? A lot of times you are just bored. My mom will be like, my husband was joking that like, because she'll like order an appetizer. She'll be like, I'm full from the appetizer. Yeah.

And my husband will be like, so we had lunch. So I guess we're not eating the rest of the week. Yeah. Like she'll eat her food, but it's less about the quality of the food and more about the calorie count. Like she'll have the hamburger, but then like that's it for the day. My mom. And it's just. And there's the Atkins diet.

There's all these. My mother is tiny. And, you know, I'm sure if we all ate what we wanted to eat all the time, you know, you probably wouldn't be thin. But there is that aspect of it. There is. And then, you know, people would always judge like, oh, she's so, if she's vain or whatever. And I'm like, but here's one thing I do question is that she's getting up there and

she's doing really well. And the doctors are like. like you've taken good care of yourself. And I'm like, okay, so there is some sort of health component. It's, you know what it is too? And this, I will say, this Gen Z is actually very bad about context. It's so easy to look at anyone and be like, oh, they said this thing or they did this thing. How evil.

How dumb. How vile. But when you contextualize it in the diet culture movement of the time and what was attractive, nobody ever considers that women at a certain time were just doing what was required and what was done. Very few iconoclasts are like, no, I'm going to turn this around. And if they did, people call them crazy. I think about, like, this is so random.

That movie, PCU, remember with, looking at you. I know. She looks at Rob every time she has a real question. What's the director, John Favro? I'm like, not the political guy. Anyways, they had all these different groups on college campus, and one of them was like, the lesbians, and they would say things like patriarchy, and they were the, like, made them look like,

I don't know if we say Dyke anymore, but that's what they made them look like. And it's like, the things these women were talking about are like in everyday language now. But at the time, if you were a woman who stood up, it's like, oh, you're kicking in dicks. Like, you're just a bitch. And like, that's how we framed women

that used the word feminism forever. That was a dirty word. And so nobody ever looks at context. But, like, your mom wasn't some, like, nut. She was just doing the thing that we were all doing. Right. Yeah. And you're not wrong to take care of yourself.

And maybe not. Maybe your mom only eats Twizzlers and has like an eating disorder and is super thin. No, she doesn't. Not yours. One's mother. But like my mom never overdid it or under did it. She just walked that fine line.

And I'm like, you know, is it really that bad? No. You know? It's also what works for you. Yeah. Yeah. My mom's just with my mom, obviously, she doesn't do the Patricia move. But she, more on from like a health conscious place, she'll like read every ingredient that's in something.

True. And so she's doing that and, like, for a while, like, telling my daughter. And I was like, I don't want her to even think about ingredients or what's in something. I want her to eat what she feels like. I want, you know, because I don't know, maybe it's just fear-based that I have a fear that, like, it could turn into an unhealthy, yeah, habit with food or whatever. So, and my mom came from a great place. She really just wants her putting good things in her body and I get it. But I'm like, I don't want her to think she has to be aware of what's in her food.

No, it'll drive you crazy. And also, like, you don't know what, like, dextrose. Like, you don't know that everything is bad or good. Like, and also, like, gluten, good or bad, don't know. Right. Wheat flour, good or bad, you know, you don't. And if your goal is to not consume any real sugar, then maybe Stevia is okay. If your goal is not have any chemicals, then it's not like, Louis CK, and I talk about it.

Not Louis CK. Oh, my God, the other one. Louis Black. Sorry. Has this joke. And he's like, dairy, milk, good or bad. And the audience is like, eh, because it depends. what you're trying to accomplish. Right. But just like environmentalism. Like if your goal is to eat

less meat, you might have more plastic. If it's to have less plastic, then you might, you know, it's always like, what part of the environment or yourself do you want to hurt? And so I think it's more just about we just got to take our feet off of other people's necks and just be like, how are you raising your kid? How are you eating? As long as you're being honest about it and your intention isn't to hurt anyone. Right. I don't know. I heard this story the other day that I thought, It could be, you guys may have heard it a hundred times, I don't know, but it was the first time I heard it. I'm going to botch it completely, but it's a farmer, and the farmer gets a horse. And they're like, oh, you got a horse. That's so great. And he's like, good or bad, who knows?

And then the kid comes, his kid comes, and he rides on the horse. Kid falls off the horse. And they're like, oh, no, he broke his leg. And he's like, the farmer, is like, good or bad, who knows? Then the army comes looking to, what's the word, recruit? Enlist the horse. Enlist the kid. But they couldn't take him because his leg was broken. And they said, we can't take him.

And they're like, oh, that's so good. And the farmer goes, good or bad, who knows? And it's kind of... I think we know. But it's kind of everything. Who's the army? Whose army is it? I don't know.

But the kid can't go. Sure. It's like, who knows? No one knows. Exactly. But it's more just about, I don't know, I was thinking about, like, just being on, I know that was like a nice stopping point, but like just being on the trial is the part that's so awful. No one knows, but public opinion is the thing that matters the most.

And that's the part that's most detrimental. Like, I don't want my kid to eat cheez-its. I think they're really bad. Well, you know, comedian Eliza Schlesinger says she hates chees-its, anyone who eats them, shaming people who eat them, women everywhere lose their fucking minds. It's just everything is about like public outrage and just burning

people at the stake. For like the most harmless thing and meanwhile there are like real issues. Right. And we're always taking it away again. We're always backbiting. And I always think about with women, you know,

there's this, there's so much we have in common. And we I can't say more than men, but like there's so many experiences like we don't know each other and we have so much to bond over just being a woman in this time on this planet. And we let all these little things because there is this baked in competitiveness, I think instilled in us from our society of like, I need to show that I'm better than her because that shows that I'm the best one

and in some ways the most fertile and that my lineage deserves to live. And this competition, especially when you're single, to like fertilize an egg, you know. Oh, yeah. But then once you've done that now, you have the kids, we need to show that you are worthy of praise and love because you are the best mother and she's an idiot and her line should die off. And it's like, what if you just focused all of that on like your own stuff? Right. I love judging people. I love judging archetypes. I love stereotypes. I love, but it's less, it's more about people. It's not a person. Right. You know, when we all do it,

I think the key is, and I do talk about this, like, just don't say it. Like, I can think you're the worst mother. I can think I don't like your body, but like, just don't say it. And then, really look in and be like, why do I think that? And it always comes back to a feeling of feeling incomplete. Always. It's always about us, right? Yeah. And that's the thing is that when we judge,

it's oftentimes something we judge about ourselves or that we're insecure about ourselves or we don't have a way to... Projection. Yeah, it's a projection. It's a projection and it's also, and I think about this a lot, am I faulting?

And I'll just do this with women because I don't care about the guys as much. Like, am I faulting this woman for doing the exact same thing I would have done? Like, if I meet a girl and she's like going super fast and she's like, hey, like, and doesn't give me the time of day, I'm like, do I hate her now? Because she was busy and didn't acknowledge me and didn't mean to be rude, but what, like, and have I done that versus like, no, she was being a bitch. And usually they're not just being a bitch for the sport of it. Like, she's doing something else not thinking about it. But then your feelings get hurt.

And it's like, why are they hurt? Well, I really wanted her to acknowledge me because I really wanted to be friends. with her. Right. You know, it's that thing. Isn't it the Brunei Brown thing that I always talk about her story about swimming with her husband? Yeah. I can't, I shouldn't. I don't remember it well enough, but it's the same thing how our mind. You say you always talk about it. Well, she always talks about it and I don't remember the story. I think she drowned. I don't know. Yeah. But it is that thing about your mind telling you one thing that isn't true and it doesn't make you feel good when the actual truth with something else. Not only that, and I can't even sit here and be like, yeah,

negativity is the worst. I live in negative valley. The monologues that I write in my head about like why everyone hates me. Like, God, you don't get some. I'm like, well, that's because you weren't meant to be here and you're a fucking loser and you should like just like, oh my God. We can talk about it more offline because I can't talk about the show that I just did, but I do want to share something. But I and then I randomly came across this clip the other day. Who fucking knows where this clip came from? But it was like a Navy SEAL or like a special ops guy like talking about like, weirdly for like being such a feminist, I weirdly respond to like male strength very well.

And he was like, the three things you need when you're under fire. And the first thing he said, he was like, first of all, you've got to crush negativity, which sounds like such a like, I'm from Orange County. I have like a motivational bracelet and like my brother's in a drunk

boating accident. But like, I, hearing him say, like hearing a man that I would probably respect, like this military guy crush it. And I was like, that's right.

Because if you're positive, even if you end up being wrong, at least the journey there, you didn't feel like a piece of shit. Right? And it is about, I was talking to a friend of mine who's a mother

about intrusive thoughts. And like it is about squashing those thoughts. Like every time it's like, yeah, because you are a fucking loser. It's like, no, no, no. Not a loser.

Just gonna go get a coffee now. Like, just constantly, it's a practice. Right. That's, I feel like we all do it. Every human. Well, I got like,

someone like I did a job recently and the director was very complimentary and, like, text me something. I'm like, oh, he just text every single cast member that. It's not, like, he's just writing that to everybody. And that's my first reaction to it. You're like, it did start with Dear Janet, so I assumed it was a copy and based off. Yeah, but it's true.

You know, like, that's your thought first goes to then, well, for me, a lot of the times, the negative are like, you know, that can't be real. Because you've been let down so much. Because in the past, that did happen. And so it is a defense mechanism. I don't want to get my hopes up because the last couple of those, it did go to those other actors as too. Right.

And then it's just kind of like, but what if it didn't? what if it was just for you? Right. Do you turn? So I was telling someone this the other day because someone wrote something mean, right, recently about me. And my first thought is, oh, they're right. They said something about, what was it?

Which one? Which one? They do it all the time. The doctor thing? No, it wasn't the doctor thing. Your voice? Oh, it was that I should stop talking about my failed acting career. Oh.

And it's annoying and I'm trying to get discovered. And I was like, okay, that's an interesting way to go about it. But my first reaction is... Was it failed? Sorry. Right. What does that mean? It means...

It means I'm not... She took a different path. It means that I didn't have a successful acting career, so they are judging it. What's a successful acting career? That's what I'm fucking saying. So I... Rachel's like it's right here. It doesn't...

She's like, sitting on the couch next to you. It's like this. I'm still here and I look really good. But my first thought is, they're right. You're a fucking loser. How pathetic. Right? Yeah. And then I went, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What's the truth? The truth is, it's all a journey. You're doing your best. Like, I literally talk to myself like a baby and be like, you're a good human. Like, I will have to turn to self-love, like, immediately. Right. Because if I just try and fight the negative thoughts, they just keep coming at me. But if I try to accept them, love them, and nurse them.

torture them too and be like, that's not what's happening. That's not what's happening. Oh, I just call my manager screaming. And then she's like, that's not what's happening. That's not true. I will take it a different direction because I'll say this. What makes me angry, because I think everyone is wrong all the time, is when someone says something awful, I don't ever take it personally.

I'm like, how fucking dare you? This faceless person, how dare you think that you can write that to me and who the fuck are you? But I can't write all that. I get angry that somebody thought they were important enough to deign to matter. It bothers me that they even exist. I don't take it. Like if someone said to me, you were terrible and whatever, I would think, where do you get off thinking you fucking matter?

But you can't say that. Right. Because what I, especially as a comedian, you have this responsibility to not say the thing that you know will make someone want to kill themselves. Oh. And you can't even talk about killing yourself, but like don't think for a second. we are very dark people. Yeah. And I'm a happy person and I love little animals and I hope to have a fairy garden one day

and I love my husband. But just remember that all of this comes from a deep, dark place of pain. So you think that's true because, you know, they always say that in comedy that, you know, a lot of people, comedians have, are dark. Do you think that's true across the board? Yeah. You don't have to have dark comedy. Right.

But like you've been in enough arguments in your life and you've seen enough, it's just not about like seeing combat, but like you felt enough anger. and you know people well if you're a good comic, like you know people. And there is always you have to hold back because that means I have to go into your profile, assess it and be like, here's what it is,

your husband doesn't fuck you. Like little things like that, you know, and I don't do that because that's a terrible practice. And it is a thing when you get, I'm never, I can't remember the last time I was mad at someone in my life, like actually mad because you can't take back some things.

Right. And so it's like, it's brimming with like the worst things to say. And you're just like, okay fuck you because at the end of the day like okay so you told the person off and that person never checked their comments

and now what? So what do you do with that energy? If we are talking about abortion in a comment section I will go to the mat every time like I will die on that hill there are some things that are too it depends on the person to be honest

but I just kind of take a probably vent or take a breather and then I forget it happened like I've been angry like that enough to know that if I just give it five minutes, it won't sting as much. Right. Or like something happening, whether it's a bad show or a bad moment, like if you just give it

till tomorrow, it's not going to be even like an audition or something or rejection of being really mad about it. It's just, you give it a beat. Right. My mom's always, you know, has always taught me like you don't react when you're angry or like, you know, you're still feeling those things. You have to really give it a minute and only react when you're calm. And if you still want to react the same way, fine.

But at least get to that place. And it's so hard, especially if you are a. fast person. Like, I should not have had this call. I like it. See through time. And I wake up like this. Like, I'm just like ready to go. But there is that like it needs to happen now because if it doesn't happen now, then it will never happen. I have to send that email. I have to send that thing. And it has taken me and I'm still not good at it, but it has taken me over a decade to like even get to a place where I can wait a beat before I fire off something. It's hard. I feel like I need more of that. Because I don't take a beat.

No, no, no, no, I take a beat. I'm taking a nap. No, I never wrote back. No, it's not even that. It's that I think that oftentimes, like, Jeff, my husband's like that, he goes to the reaction, right? And we have to be like, don't send the email. Yes. However, a lot of times I feel like I skip anger and go straight to hurt. Oh. Right? And is there hurt under the anger or is it just? Probably. I think it depends on what. But I feel like sometimes that's a much healthier approach. Hurt? Yeah. It's to just... Vulnerable. It's more vulnerable. To get angry. No, to be hurt. Like, that hurt me versus I'm mad at you. Because what's under that is, I'm mad she didn't invite me.

And what's under it is because I want her to like me. I want to go to that party. I want to be included. People get off on being exclusive and... I mean, look, look, we've all not invited people. We all have friends that we think are annoying or whatever you don't include. and there is a deliciousness to excluding people.

I think we learn that when we're younger. And then as you get older, it's like, just fucking invite them. It will have met the world to them. Right. You have to talk to them. But you do it. But then you're doing things for other people,

which is another thing, right? So, like, there's always an example when someone's getting married. And, like, the day's supposed to be about the people. I'm sure you experienced it. Is this a part two of this podcast? Yeah. Yeah.

Right? And then it becomes about everybody else. That's just the way it is. That's just, Every wedding, I guess. I don't know. I had 16 bridesmaids. You tell me.

It all gets so convoluted. I mean, look, sometimes you do stuff for other people. Sometimes you don't. There's all this rhetoric around as women like taking time for yourself, being selfish. What is required to be a woman in this society is being super hyper multifaceted and considering everyone's opinion of you. And I disagree. And people are like, you know, don't give a fuck. Who cares?

No, you have to. You cannot control it, but you have to know that other people's. opinions of you while you can't control them can have detrimental consequences to your existence. She seemed like a bitch. She seemed difficult. She seemed rude. You can't help that they thought that, but you have to know that there are forces at work against you, even on your best day, because you carried yourself with confidence, where you didn't smile. So it's not that you can change that, but just know, this isn't about like, fuck everyone and be yourself. Like, yeah, but just know, things will be counted against you because you're a woman who showed up. I agree with

that 100%. When people say like, who fucking cares or like haters are going to hate and all that stuff. It's like, who cares? Maybe the person you're doing it to. Or, you know, it's also teaching people not to care about other people, which is counter. I think it's not so much, I think if everyone doesn't care about other people, like I can't help that some random person who was already having a bad day said something really awful to me online. You can't control your own thing. But I can can control, you know, if I walk into a room, like walking in and I can control only the way that I come across and I can't help that you interpret it wrong. And I think it hurts. I think what hurts the most as a woman is when you showed up with the best of intentions and people because

of their own insecurities fault you for it. And that's what is hard about being a woman is that you on your best day is someone's worst nightmare. Well put. Yeah. Well, fucking putt. You did it. You put a bow on that one. You really did. You're super honest in a way that is incredibly refreshing. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

And I hope that as you, I mean, I want to read your book. I'm so excited. I can send you one. Of course. Or I can read it and I will very quickly and then I'll give it to her. All things aside, your new book. I'm so excited. I mean, I know what I'm reading.

I'm so excited to have it. It's a fun book. What is it? What is it? Okay. It's a picture book. Okay. It's a book of drawings. It's a board book. It's actually blank. It's a journal. It's called All Things Aside, Absolutely Correct Opinions. It is a book of personal essays. So this is not an autobiography and it's not like a memoir. And I plainly put just wrote the kind of book that I would want to read. So it's funny, but there's some heartfelt stuff. There's some personal stuff. And then there's like a bunch of, it's all just from my, it's society through my, my lens. And it's written, physically written in a way where we make points and then there's an indentation and then there's an aside. So it's like I'm, I hate the idea of a footnote and I think it takes you out of it. And I talk about this in the intro. So it's like having a personal conversation

with me while listening to, I guess not a lecture, but, and it's fun. And it's everything from things in society that I think are scams, like matching sweat sets to, oh, wait, why is that a scam? Okay. Please do tell. It's more about the commodification of sweat sets. Like when you go on Instagram, all of a sudden, there's like 8 billion new clothing companies

which are contributing to global warming with every single purchase. But okay. The way that they're... I don't know when a polycotton blend got so expensive. I don't know why looking like a public school PE participant is $500.

I don't know why they come in these weird colors and it's like eggplant, white, off white, woke, porcelain. Like, there's just so many. And if you, if you buy a sweat set and you spill, which you will on something, then you wash it. Now they're two different colors. And now it does not match. And it's always this like sweat set that has something stitched in it like, like Tokyo love or like Paris, New York, L.A., Detroit, like a little embellishment. And it's like, that'll be $285.

And you're like, for fucking what? This is a Gildian sweatshirt. that I should get it like a big five. Right. I'm just so over the fucking hype and up charge. Like, for what? It's 8,000 degrees outside. I wish we both were wearing matching sweatsuits today.

But do you have one? Of course. Or two or three or four. How many? No, I don't have any matching sweatsuits because I only wear black for the most part and especially when I travel. But we all want to be... You only wear black sweatsuits.

Just black. I wear a lot. I love black. Pants. This is like a lot for me to wear these light jeans shoes. I was like you're not wearing black right now. You caught me on a weird day. The reason I'm not in all black

is because my husband has been very sick lately so I had to move into another room and I had to just grab a bunch of clothes I was fleeing. So it's just more about the commentary on like how a lot of things are just bullshit. I also have a chapter in there

where I take myself to court to see if I'm being charged with being an annoying person. Like there were several trips I took with my husband where I kept having a UTI and I was like, I hate me. Like I hate this girl.

Like why is it always something? Oh my God. I know. Like, don't you, as you get older, you're like, I don't know why I have an earache. Like, it was fine when we left the house. My ears, I have a UTI. I have to go pee. My joints hurt. Everything. Everything. Yeah. Can't do your thing. When did it get like this? Like, it used to just be like, I'll grab my keys and we'll go. Yeah. No, I stepped off a curb and threw my back out. Yes. That's annoying to people. Yeah. You know, but that's what it is. There's that and there's just about realizing you're getting older as you're getting older, but not from like a mother's perspective. you know, I think that bridge to your 40s and your late 30s is this weird. You're like, you're still young,

but maybe don't wear those low-rise jeans and you're still young, you're not old, not your mom, but it's this weird place. So it's just essays on that type of thing. I love it. When do we stop? When are crop tops done?

Because I'm 42 and I'm still wearing them. What are your thoughts on that? My answer is supposed to be like, whenever you feel like it, be empowered, a silly bitch. I guess. when it looks weird. And that is only in the eye of the belly holder.

But don't you see certain people? And I'm like, but you're crop top only with like a high top pants. Right. High waist up for sure. Yes. I'm not low waisted in a prop top. I guess it always,

like the truth is even if you look awful, you're not hurting anyone. So I guess that's the part society needs to get over. Like if a girl doesn't look to you, doesn't look great. Like, is she hurting? Is she murdering? puppies, like, who cares? So I guess the answer is you can do it whenever. This goalpost of social

acceptability is ever moving. I will say when you're younger, like youth, even if you don't have the ideal body type, you're still young. So it's still kind of okay. It's just about the vibe you want to put out, you know? I like crop tops. Also, upper abs are almost always, they almost always look good. Upper. Upper abs are great. Upper. Lower, lower, no. Well, I've had two C sections. So that would just be like, That's really low, though. Yeah, that would be... Yeah, that's how we used to wear them. I mean, I wish we were in a...

We did. You know, Frankie Bees? Oh, yeah. There is a picture of me on the wall of the Hollywood Improv and my pants are so low. Yeah, they're at pubic airline, right? Yes.

Yeah. Like, you can tell, like, this was taken a long time ago. I want to see that picture. It's a huge oil picture. Oh, when they walk in, and I always sit under it, not because it's there, it's just like, it's the seat facing the door,

and it looks like, I'm like, hey, guys, remember me. I'm like, under my own picture. They're very low. The answer is whatever makes you feel good because some people will think it's great and some people won't. So I guess that's the answer.

It has to be the answer. I like that answer. I don't find that I feel like wearing them even though I maybe could. I don't. I just don't want to. You don't either? Do you see me in crop tops?

Oh, crop tops. I'm sorry, I thought I went low rice pants. Oh, fuck low rice pants. I love cropped tops. Okay, good. Okay. Depends. I don't know.

I do. I don't feel like juicy. And I don't feel like. putting out of, I don't want people looking. Yeah. I go to the gym for, for the first time of my life, I'm like, wow, this really is for me. Because I wear, like, all black covered. Like, I just, I don't need to be told I look good.

I don't need some. It bothers me when people are like, you look great. You're like, fuck on, I don't need that from you. Yeah. Did that change when you got married, though? I think it slows down as you get married, then after you have kids, and it has less to do. I think I'm actually in the best shape of my life. It's more to, like, it's more that, like, I feel so person.

personally fulfilled, like, I don't need the exterior praise. Yeah. And I cringe when unsolicited, like, look, you put on a tight outfit. Like, there is a degree of, like, look at this body. And weird, it's this weird thing, because I don't know when it's okay. Like, a guy will be like, you look sexy. And it's like, yes, I did want to look sexy, but I didn't want to hear about it from you. And the difference is, you are ugly.

I, you know, a hot guy, and it doesn't matter because I'm married and I love my husband, Like a hot guy being like, you look great. Then you're like, thank you. But it's never the hot guy. It's always a fucking bog troll from an account with like him holding up pictures of bass that he's like, you're a milf. You're like, that's so fucking vile that you think that I would be impressed by that. I hate you. And what happens is people will listen to us and then they'll just start writing it back.

But like, it might shock a lot of men to hear this. Like, I love men, but like, I don't live and breathe for you to tell me that you find me attractive enough. like your standards are so fucking low but like this is not the most acmatic point of my life that like Chad from like Cherry Creek New Jersey like would do me like

oh thank you thank you so I'm so fulfilled I have like this weird high self-esteem I'm like listen to me on my worst day you would still have sex with me even if you're hotter than me that's how funny I am

why can't every girl feel that way I don't know where did it come from I love it. Oh my God. I love it. I love you so much. It's just, oh, man. Dudes are gross.

It's so good. It's so good. Thank you. I'm just... The fact that you need them, Chad, really. I just pick, girls, the sooner you realize that nobody actually expects you to look the way the Instagram. The Instagram tells you do, the happier you'll be.

Yeah. People look actually like Instagram filters. Have you noticed that? Everyone's filtered. No, no, no, no. I mean, outside of the filter. Now, in real life, they look like filters. because they're doing all the stuff

and putting the... It's like the fake eyelashes and the lips and the thing... Like they morphed into those... But no body that you would want as an intelligent person, nobody that you would be attracted to. We'll just say,

we'll make this a heterosexual relationship. No man that's worth his salt values that. You can be a beautiful girl and you got some filler and like you look great and that's okay. But this weird, uncanny valley version of a human, like no man that you would want to actually be with actually values those things or cares if you're a double zero. It's just, like,

it's all hype. If you turned off the internet, like, none of that exists. Right. Right. But you know, now all these people are getting BBLs. Do you know what that is? Brazilian butt lift. Yeah. Because I googled it. I kept reading. I was like, what the fuck is? I couldn't figure out from contact. Right. It's like a real thing that everybody in LA is getting. Okay, so let's talk about this for a second. Yeah. Or like you get some implant. You suck the fat. They suck the fat out of the stomach and implant it in the butt. Good luck finding any. There's that.

So, I mean, I'm just going to be honest about this. That is an, it's a ethnic aesthetic. That is a black, it is a Latino aesthetic. That over the last several years, we've all come to Laud, which is okay for an overcorrect because black and brown bodies were so maligned for so long. But that does speak to the whole, like, and by the way, I am not an authority. This is just like me with my ear to the ground. the whole like black and brown is other and the white is correct.

And then I hate to say this, but the access point was the Kardashians who are like vaguely white, vaguely ethnic. They're Armenian, but like whatever. Making that body type okay, which I actually appreciated as a girl that like always had kind of a currier body. Like all of a sudden like, yeah, I can wear these things. She's making it okay. I don't support them for anything other than that. And then she started adding to it. So you end up with this body that is completely synthetic.

When a woman has a large butt, regardless of her color, like her legs are big, like muscular. I've got muscular thighs and like a butt because it doesn't work the other way. You don't have stick thin legs and it's just massive butt. So that became the entry point. So then they made it okay for white women to also want that because all of a sudden that was attractive. But that's not like a Caucasian aesthetic. That's not what's valued in Caucasian culture. it became a thing. And I think that's okay because all of a sudden women with some thickness

to them, their bodies weren't wrong. And I even include myself in that even though I'm white. Like I didn't feel so bad. But then she stopped dating a black person and she started dating a white person. And all of a sudden, she's white now, white aesthetic, moving away from black culture, you know, however she's doing her hair and however she was behaving and acting and dressing towards something white and now she's losing weight. Now everything's not so big. Which does make it feel like it was all a costume

versus just the way that you are. Which is even more insulting to those people. And so the lesson to take away from it all is like at the end of the day since you don't have a billion dollars and you are going to have fucking Frankenstein, which I guess was the scientist, not the name of the monster.

But you can only just enjoy your body as it is because you don't have the time to yo-yo like that and dip in and out of stuff. And some of us are just like that. Black women do just look like that. And so hopefully we're getting to a place in culture now where it's like everything is okay. Right. Just be you.

And that's easy for us to say because I guess we're white. So it's like the default is that. And so we're kind of okay to say that. It's not as easy to say to it like a larger black woman. So I hope in moving through that cultural shift, people have become more okay with the fact that those bodies, are going to look that way and it's not wrong. You know?

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. This is not like, I'm not like a teacher or anything, but it is to me once that was pointed out to me. I was like, yeah, fucking get a black model, get an overweight brown model. Like these are people. This is not some like small group.

This is a lot of people. Of course it is. And it's important for people to see themselves represented. But it's also, you know, I think that there's also a representation that's being put out there that's not real that young girls are looking at going, well, why don't I look like that? Okay, I'm going to do all that. Do all the things. Without realizing how silly it looks in person.

Right. It's silly looking to have a gigantic butt and stick thing legs. Like that looks uncomfortable and it's untenable. You cannot move around. I met someone recently who had a bad surgery and has to get them removed and undergo like a very, a very severe surgery to do. that and it broke her heart and she was like you know I was young and I thought that that's what I was supposed to do and you know the the word on the street is that men don't like girls unless they have an

ass and that's I mean and it's it is a cultural thing like some guys like a buzz but but it's like you should be and it is impossible to tell a heterosexual woman like just do it for you because so much of our identity and worth is wrapped up and does a man find us attractive and I'm not maligning that at all and it does take time to be like, well, this is my body and I'm confident. All it takes is one guy when you're having sex when you're 25 to be like, oh, you're a little pudgy. And even if you're not, like, it will wreck you for life. For life. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm sitting here as someone, like, I had a nose job when I was 18. It's not something I'm ashamed of by any means, but like, the goal has always been like stick thin, stick straight, blonde hair, gentile Caucasian. Like, that's. And so I think it's nice to move away from that because not everybody can look like that. And the truth is, that's what society holds is valuable. And even if you fall short of it a little, you're always kind of like, well, I wish I look more Gentile.

Yeah. So that's the look. Anyways. It is. It's such a, you know, and I don't know. You have to be like so careful or whatever. But even like now, like the little mermaid, right, it's coming out and they're showing all these videos of these little girls watching. I cry.

I cry. Black girls that are like, she's black. And they're seeing like, she looks like me. Yeah. And I, yeah, it's like really, really pulling all the heart. I have goosebumps because it's like you wouldn't be saying, like you would never look at a Barbie and be like, she looks like me because everything looks like us. Right.

So the fact that that's their reaction means that we're missing that. Yes. I also, though, counterpoint to all of that. Yeah. Because on TikTok people, white people love nothing more than. and screaming at other white people about how racist they are and how not racist the people screaming is, right?

There's a huge, like, savior complex about that. And, like, look, I talk about it a little bit in the book. I'm only acknowledging an education I've received on it. I am in no way, like, a civil rights pioneer. Like, I only listen to what people say. I'm not like bell hooks, but there's all these TikToks, again, you're to the streets. Those are TikToks, because people are very upset that it's black, right?

The mermaid's black. But you look at the person. People are upset. Oh, my God. People are very upset. That there are black, what are they? Elves and Lord of the Rings, goblins, whatever.

People get upset when something is white, that it's like usually a magical, fantastical thing like that, like a Lord of the Rings. Like, that there's black imaginary creatures in an imaginary world. People are very upset that there's a black little mermaid. And I'm like, but it's a mermaid,

which, whatever. And then people are quick to point out that the original little mermaid is like this gay fairy tale. Like, it's this totally obfuscated thing and it's silly. but it's okay to be angry at people that are angry that it's black. Like, it's okay to combat racism, but it starts to annoy me when you get white people and their whole identity is like screaming like, oh, you racist motherfuckers.

Why can't there be? And I'm like, oh, have you been instrumental in being anti-racist your whole life? Yeah, come down. Right. Was it just after Black Lives Matters that your eyes were open just like the rest of us? Like, fucking relax. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I've had a lot of uncomfortable conversations like that. friends where I'm like, hold on. What? Like what? How do you, how are you now the authority? Yes. On what that is. Yes. When this is the first time this has come up. Somehow being on a high horse people think absolves them of any wrongdoing. And it doesn't mean you were racist or you've done anything bad, but screaming at other white people as a white person, black people and brown people are looking at you like, okay, fucking rip each other apart. Like, you're not going to get a pass. Like a black person's not going to be like, wow.

you're cool thank you you're one of us they're gonna be like I still don't trust you fucker fucker so you're still white you're still white you still benefit from it and that's okay to recognize it but like losing your mind because somebody like didn't know the tennessee quotes quote and you did like you don't win

right no like it's like the it's like the outwoking each other is I have a whole bit about it outwoking I'll send you the link oh man it's been a woke off it's a woke off and truthfully no that's what people are white people are doing. What matters is conversations that white people have with other white people that are non-performative.

Like the real, like if you said something racist and I was like, Rachel, like, don't do that. Like having that uncomfortable conversation. The way you vote. Right. And the stories that you tell. Those are the things that matter. Not just like having that bumper sticker. Black Square. Stop Asian hate. Like, okay, what did you do? Yeah. You know? Like the quiet work. The quiet work. That's in everything. And I say that as a very racist person. That's the sound bite we came. Yeah, that's it. It's true, though.

Yeah, it's true. But that's such a good point. The quiet work, I love how you put that. Just like, am I willing to say something to you that was going to be uncomfortable if you said something offensive or wrong as someone that looks like you? Have you done that? Have you had to do that? Not as much to do that. Not because everybody agrees.

Like, in L.A., like we're all kind of like this. We're all like total. Like, my husband is like, he makes me look like a grizzled Confederate, like veteran because he's. He's so that I will say there, I have someone very close to me who revealed to me that they think being gay as a choice. And it rocked me because I was like, I thought we were all in a, we never talked about this because I thought we all. And I had to have that conversation with them and their partner. And I had to choose my words very carefully because if you embarrass someone, then they won't be receptive. So I was just sitting there like not equipped, not an educator, not an education facilitator.

I was like, let me see if I can say this in the right way that you will want to hear this. And also, I want you to be very careful as someone I love that you don't share this with the wrong person who might react violently. Right. I still think they think that, but I will work on it at the next family gathering. Right? Like, we're going to deal with, and I actually hope we're in contact with people that are outside of our opinions and beliefs. Because otherwise you're just in a bubble and you're not penetrating. trading outside of it.

Well, no? I want that, but also, like, if you believe that women should be forced to give birth, like, I don't want... Correct. So there's...

Right, right. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, you're meaning it, like, look, just because you are a conservative... Now, I mean, the Republican Party now is this weird bastardization

of some white supremacist thing. It is not just fiscally conservative people, but just because you are conservative or from a red state, that I hate when people write them off, you know, or people that initially voted for Trump.

Like, that doesn't... Now it's like the proofs in the pudding, but like, people do things for reasons that aren't always horrifically motivated. A farmer in Nebraska's priorities are going to be different

than mine living in Hollywood. Yeah. And I can respect that. You know, but the stakes, I mean, things are so fraught with difficulty now. But I always say,

and this is, especially as women, you have to be just as comfortable making other people as uncomfortable as they are when they give you their opinions. When someone says something awful or racist, they were totally fine to say something like that

or to say something bad about women or something political or shame you. You have to have just as much righteous indignation and come from that place of being like, wait a minute, actually, you're wrong. Oh, you think being gay is a choice? Oh, you think the Holocaust didn't happen? I'm so sorry that you have been told that

let me correct you. Because people will dig their heels in and say the most fucked up shit and act like it's their God-given right. And you have to be just as active in combating that. Versus being like, okay, well, to each their own. Right. If it's a hill you want to die on. If it's a hill you, yeah.

You can't die all of them. No. But there's ones that are fucking worth dying on. Yes. That's for sure. Yeah. I feel like there are. We have really gone there.

I have that effect. Like, let's take it to the map. No. We want an ice coffee rumble is what we want. We want it on the mat. Welcome back to ice coffee rumble. You're some wrestles. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. And yeah, and all that being said, like everything we've talked about, how we end our conversations, which is super appropriate, is with fuck Mary Kill. So we are going to go on that hill now. What if you were like fuck Mary Kill and without even giving me options, I was just like Chris Hemsworth, Lane Hemsworth, my husband. What's the game? Like Steve Bouchemy, Ron Howard.

See, your brain works really fast. It's so good. Why were those the six men? So do you give me options? No, we didn't. You're just going to sit here until you keep coming up with that. We do. We do.

We do. We do. Yeah. Okay. We do. We do have options. Okay. Okay.

Rob came up with options. Okay. This is a judgment on you, Rob. Steve Corral, Colin Farrell. Michael Votagio. Oh, no. He was my neighbor. No, really?

His ex-girlfriend's like, one of my close? He's a chef. He's a chef. Oh, okay. Well, I was going to do like Bobby Flay, but I don't think. We had matching houses. Like, the same developer did our... We had, like, these two...

I mean, we did different things, but we had the same blueprint. So, like, I knew where everything in his house was. You let's so random. Yeah. Go David Chang. Instead of Michael Victagio. Okay. Do you feel better about David Chang?

I know who David Chang is. Okay. Fuck Mary. David Chang, Steve Correll, Colin Farrell. Okay, well... Oh, God, I don't want to have sex with any. I think I would marry Steve Carell because he seems like a really sweet guy

and I guess I'll have to have sex with Colin Farrell and I don't want to kill David Chang but you're going to. Maybe I'd marry David Chang because I'm so accustomed to having all my food. A husband? That sounds like heavy. So you're killing Steve Correll?

Yeah, it's going to be one funny person in this room, Steve. Oh yeah, there's no room. To go. Is it fuck Mary Kill work with? Right with. Yeah. And then what's it? Oh, is that it?

No, you did it. No, you did it. You did it. You did it quick. And it was perfect. There's a quick death. A quick buck. A quick foot.

It was all quick. And we looked. Sorry, Michael was amazing. Amazing and I cannot wait to read the book. Yeah. So, okay, so all things aside, your book, your Netflix special, they're all coming out tomorrow. Yeah, Hot Forever comes out tomorrow.

It's my six Netflix special. And we decided to have the book and the special come out at the same time. That way, at least I buy a couple weeks before. four people are like, what else are you going to do? Right. I've done my best. That's awesome. We are so excited.

It was so nice to meet you guys. It was so nice to meet you. Thank you for coming. We look thin. Yeah, we're amazing. Hello. You want to play with something? What's up?

Grifter, that's very strange. I just looked down to send you an audio note and you seem to be sending me one too, so that's cool. This is a message for Rach, Billow. Do you call a Billow? If I was mixed with her, I'd call it Billow. What's that, Billow? Billow.

So Rach had said at the end of their podcast, what's the point in mosquitoes? What's that all about? Okay, so it's only the female mosquito that sucks blood from other animals. It needs iron in its bloodstream so that it can create eggs to have babies. And the male mosquito doesn't suck blood at all.

It eats plant material and pollinates a whole bunch of fruits, vegetables, trees, bushes, plants, etc. The female mosquito is also extremely important in terms of the diet of a lot of invertebrates and mammals and birds and bats, as the girls said in the show, and also does a huge amount of species number control.

So if there wasn't mosquitoes feeding on mice and rats and giving them malaria and them succumbing to my own. malaria, we would have an over flooding of vermin on the planet. So mosquitoes are an incredibly important animal. They're also the most influential animal in terms of the human evolution on the planet because mosquitoes have killed more humans than all of the wars and all of the diseases

on our planet combined. So they have influenced the way that human species have evolved on planet, more than any other creature. Paul an animal. She's a significant animal. I hope you guys are good. I hope you're good too. Do you call me a girl? Yeah. He said the girls said so on the podcast. But that's what I did think, um, I did think that was interesting. Yeah. I didn't realize like, I knew, I knew, I knew, they're bad and well, they do kill a lot of humans, but I, I, I, that was Dominic, Monahan again. Thank you, Dom, Dom, for enlightening us.

because, you know, I have always wondered because they're, they seem very annoying. I love that he cares so much. He does, that he's like, wait a minute. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah, let me explain because they were questioning it and I will tell you. And he did. I did think it was interesting that they have, you know, they help with the control of, you know,

that we're not overrun by vermin. That's interesting to me. That is. I feel a little better. Sure. And the males pollinate. Help pollinate. You know the males are the giant ones, right?

The males are, they look like raccoons? No, they're huge. The male mosquitoes are the really big one. Do you not seen the really big ones? No, I have. They're like eight times the size of regular mosquito, yeah. No, I can't say that I have. And then there's also the mosquito eaters, right?

I knew it was the female, but bit you. I knew that. It's always a fucking female. Files bite. Anything that bleeds for seven days straight and doesn't die, that shit's just evil. Did you just come over that yourself? I wish. that was like Chris Rock or something.

Evil. Evil. How do you feel about bleeding for seven days wrong? I can't say I've done it. How do you feel when Natalie's honor period, do things change? Yeah. Oh, how? I mean, the normal stuff.

What's the normal stuff according to a male partner? Do you stick her in a room? Yeah. We sleep in different rooms on them. No, she's a little moodyer usually. Right before. Yeah. So Jeff text me yesterday and was like,

when was the first day of your last cycle? And I was like, text it to him, you know? And he's like, okay. When was it? It was Friday. It was the first day. Yeah. We're in the clear now.

So he texts me and he's like, I'm like, why? And he's like, because I got an app. And I'm like, what kind of? of app. So then when he gets home, he text me, he's like, I may be feeling a little bit bloated. And I'm like, what's that? I'm like, did you get the flow app? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, I already have it. Why do you need it? And he's like, well, I recommend apps to people so I wanted to try it myself. And I thought I could track your period. And I was like, wait a minute, this is genius. We need, because it tells him like, oh. So he knows when to be careful. Exactly. I was like, wait, we need an app for

men that's like, now's the time to be cool. So you think men should be tracking women's periods more than they are currently? Yes. And they like walk in with chocolates. Like do it. Like they'll get little notifications on their phone. I don't think they should walk in with chocolates anyway. I meant more of the caution of all the Robyweight stuff and them saying like delete those apps because the government can track you and tell if you're pregnant and abortion. Wait, what? Yeah. Yeah, there's like a whole thing about that. I personally, about it. They have your data.

They know when you're menstruating or not. And then if you miss the cycle and aren't pregnant, they could technically sell your information and the government could track. I feel like that sounds highly illegal. It does seem like a leap, but. It seems like a leap. And a lot of times when people bring that stuff up, like, they'll be like, they'll know. I'm like, what?

Like, they'll know what. But you stopped using your app and forgot to log it? Like, yeah, what are they going to know? I mean, it could black. I think it's more like if things keep pushing in the extreme direction that there's data that could be used against women and weaponized. Do you think there's some, like, I mean, do you really think there's some, like, evil mastermind that wants to take the woman down?

I don't think it's a single person, but clearly people are doing things. not in your best. I feel like there's a whole tracking system, though, with phones. And we've talked about this. Like, it hears everything, right? So you'll get ads for... Oh, yeah. Like, you'll get ads for all these menstrual apps now.

I hope so. Or tampons. Here's one for you that I would like to know. So Jeff's mom always collected these little things. They were like these little, you could get them at Hallmark, these little, like, angel-type things. And they have, like, the mom and the baby. Yeah, yeah.

Like Hummel's, like little. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Haven't thought of those. She passed away recently. I have not Googled anything about that kind of stuff. I have not talked about that.

I haven't been talking about anything that would lead to me getting fed that on my feeds. Every time I open up my either Facebook or Instagram, I get one of those ads. It's a visit from his mom. Do you think? Yeah. Or someone on your internet. Here's wrong. The rational skeptic.

No, no, I think Jeff is searching little miniature angels. He could have. It's happened to me before, where I was in Dax and Kristen's kitchen, and they had this little drawing up on the wall.

And I asked Dax's sister where it was from. And she didn't know, but it was like a drawing to a restaurant. So I'm like artists did it. And then I got targeted. I think you've told us this before. For that artist. later that day.

Yeah. Yeah, but that makes sense because you were talking about it. I was talking out loud. That's what I mean. I haven't talked out loud about miniature figurines. So you think there's some spiritual thing

happening with Google? They've tapped into your consciousness? Well, for sure. No? No. You don't think Google and my consciousness are now just like kind of working in harmony? Because I'm like, yeah,

I did want that dress. Thank you. I don't think the technology's there to do that. I think that they can take the data and fur things, but I don't think they can find a little memory. I don't think they're actually tapped into my consciousness, but I think that if there were to be something like angels and signs for the other side, that'd be a really easy way to deliver it.

So the angels are working for Google is what you're saying? I mean, I think the angels are in everything. Okay. I think that I've tuned out of this conversation. She's shopping. Now, I'm shopping online for, actually, it made me want to check my cycles app. Where am I at? Oh.

Okay. Your aunt's coming to visit soon. Oh, my God. Rob would be the person and be like, Is Aunt Flo in town? Yes. What are you doing on your phone? I'm looking for those little tiny figurines.

That keep coming up. That you've never searched or talked about. It's this the first time. It's come up. I don't want to talk anymore. I mean, I wish it was that, but I think there's probably an explanation for it. Like, if I search something, and Natalie and I are on the same internet,

she will get targeted for some of that. No, I get it because it's on the internet. I haven't seen they're making that big of a leap. I don't think Jeff was searching for little figurines from homework. You never know. Maybe Shepard was. He wanted to keep the collection alive. Or he was looking up how much they were worth.

You think he's trying to pawn his mom's figurines? Do you have the figurines? I have a collection of them like throughout the years from her, from my mom people like to gift those Your mom does the same thing that his mom did

and the same one? Well maybe she was on your internet and searched it. My mom hasn't been over. She's just going to fight every reason you come up with, Rob. I mean, your mom just text me

as we're talking. I hope you. About figurines? She was like, know where to get. Did she text you? She asked me, can Elliot have non-dairy whip cream? Yes, he can.

Whip. Whip. Do you guys like frozen cool whip? No. Oh, you don't? Well, there's one cake that we always make at birthday time. That's like a 1950s cake that uses Cool Whip and I do enjoy it. But it's thought out when I eat it.

You eat it frozen? I love Frozen Cool Whip. Like you love it frozen. Yeah, I like it frozen. And Oatley, the ice cream, is like frozen cool whip. Oh. Really good. Oh, sorry.

I didn't mean it. Oh, is it? Do you have to sign for alcohol again? Hello? She buys so much alcohol in postmates. For a sober person. It's crazy. Okay, thanks.

You can just leave it at the gate. Very cool. I appreciate it. All right, thanks. Very cool. Very cool. That was a very enthusiastic. Man.

Should I just leave it out there? Should I go get it? I think you should go get it. Okay. I'm going to go get it. I'm going to fuck off everything. I don't want to talk to Rob. Just kidding.

Oh, Rob just kicked Breyer's little stuffy off the table. That's how he shows his feelings through violence. Rob got a filling today and half of his face. My face is coming back. It's numb. I got a feeling redone. I have to get a filling. redone, but I've been putting it off for like two years.

Yeah, he told me I could. He's like, it's not dire, but... Oh, really? If you want, you can do it. And I was like, I guess... I've put it off for two years. Do you think I'll need a root canal now? Hopefully not.

I think that was what he was like. You can wait like a year or two, but it might end up needing that if it gets worse. I gotta go, don't I? It's easy. I know. It's like half hour.

You know what? Rob, you've inspired me to call my dentist after this. Make an appointment. Not that I have any time. I really don't enjoy. Dentist? No. My dentist retired and I loved him. Olivia didn't go to the dentist for a decade, so she doesn't really have a dentist. The last one I went to, I got to say, was the best dentist I've ever been to in my life.

Truly. Was it up north? It was up north. And I did not experience any pain. Did you have fillings done? Four. I don't have any pain for my feeling today. No?

You might be a little sore later, though. But I'm immune to novaic pain. Well, that doesn't make sense then. Would you say? I'm immune to novic. Can they do like the topical one? They do the topical one. They have to do...

The shot? No, because you're immune to it. They still shoot me because... They don't believe you when I just keep trying. No, but they have to give me like a pill and gas. So I hear if you can ask for laughing gas, like people really prefer that because it's fun. Yeah, I think if you're like super anxious. I didn't, I was fine.

So they gave me a volume before and laughing gas and shoot me. You didn't even know where you were. No wonder, you were like, I love the dentist. That was like, can I come back? How's your parking spot? Did you see it? Did you see? Did you see?

I sent you a picture today. I saw. It was in the same exact spot. But there were different cars. It was just as tight, though. How annoying is he with his parking spot? Yeah. No, it's, you know what it is?

Rob can be aggressive. Aggressive? Yeah, pushing. He's very mild-mannered, so you don't see it coming. But then all of a sudden, you're trying to get into a spot that's too small. And you're having a panic attack. And you're having a panic attack. And Rob's not like, oh, it's cool, no worries.

We'll get another spot. He's like, you will do it. You're doing this or I'm doing this. One, I offered to do it for you if it was going to stress here. I'm perfectly capable. And then I also said, if you can do it, do it. Yeah, but I didn't want to do it. Like, it didn't feel necessary, is my point, right?

We don't need to revisit this. We don't need to revisit this. We was the same conversation. Do you want to revisit our conversation about you and Natalie after leaving your house? What was it? We're like, they're so suited for each other. Oh, yeah. In what way? You just, you guys are just, you guys make sense?

Yeah. Like you're both, neither of you are warm and fuzzy. Like, you don't go out of your way to, like, be all warm and fuzzy and, like, overcare for people. You're just both cool you are. But they do in your actions that it's not like a overtly like, hot, warm, that, you know. But you're both still really warm. Really warm. It's an odd, like, common traits.

No, it's just because we talk about it a lot and we're like, they're both like that. Yeah. Yeah. It might just be a Midwest thing. Maybe. Could be. I could see that. You guys are very foreign out here.

Orne to us. It could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it just is, you know? Like, there's a little bit of a harshness to, like, Midwest personality, I think. But it's like you guys are so, like, loving. loving and sweet and amazing inside. And you show it in ways,

but it's not like an overtly like warm greeting or... It's kind of like Jeff's family, too. Jeff in his... Yeah, it's considered Midwest. I feel like it's a little colder, like the further east you move to. That's Pittsburgh. Well, Jeff's definitely colder than you.

Yes. It's true. Yeah, it feels kind of like a spectrum as you go. Yeah, yeah. I can see that. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. But that does make sense,

We are growing up here. We like to analyze everyone. Yeah, but then it's just what, like a show, but not the actual. No, it's not a show. We're really warm and caring for all the people in our lives. But, you know, what's interesting is that Calvin is warm and fuzzy. He is the warmest, overtly loving. He's California boy.

Yeah. He gets that from me, I think. I think... What? I don't think that's going to like this. I think Natalie has kind of pushed me more in that direction. In the other direction? Yes, because I'm affectionate with him.

Yeah. Are you and Natalie affectionate? She's not. She's not at all. Not really at all. Like you guys never cuddle or... She doesn't... It's too warm.

Yeah. Yeah. But the thing is, is that she's still warm. She's still warm, though. Yeah, she's totally. Totally warm. Yeah. Like love her.

She's like, she's such a love, but it's not like, yeah. I mean, you obviously. You get it. Don't tell me more. That's interesting. So you're super affectionate with Cal. Well, yes, with Calvin. I don't know that I ever was, though.

Like, I'm not with my family. Your parents weren't affectionate growing up with you? Not like physical affection. Like when your dad arrived today, did you give him a big hug and kiss? No. Not even a hug hello? He sat at the table. He didn't even,

like not even a hug hello. I mean, my dad, I think would. My dad is like very outgoing and very, very friendly. Like we'll talk to anyone.

He'll go out his way to talk to anyway. But not a hugger. He'd probably hug too. But he also... He just came into town and you didn't hug him hello? We'll hug goodbye.

Very interesting. Very interesting. Do the women? I could do without hugging though, I have to say. You're not a big, Yeah, you could do without hugging. But this is something that we've talked about because all us, girls and all of our friends,

we like to dote over people. And Jeff would always be like, why do you guys all do that? Like, I can get my own plate. And we're like, no, let me get it for you. And if Jeff doesn't have his plate, Rachel's in the other room looking at me going, does Jeff have his plate? Like, I'm going to go get it. And he's like, you guys, I'm okay.

And he's uncomfortable with our. dotiness. That we've had that. We are not that way. And we have friends that are that way. That like to the other couples that we spend a lot of time with, the wife's and girlfriends are that way. It feels slightly misogynistic.

But we're the ones making it. I know, I know, I know. I know. It's really weird. But we've had that conversation where it's like, they seem to like that, but it seems to like that, but it seems a little. little weird and old fashion that like,

honey, do you need a drink while you're watching the football game? Yeah. And Natalie is like, go get your own fucking water. Like yesterday, Calvin, like, she's like, your legs work. Go get your water. You know, but you have to do that with kids and I do that too. But I definitely, I'm just programmed that way, but I like to do it.

Same. I'm more that way. Yeah. It's been beaten out of me also. Well, it feels, it does feel like. old-fashioned and maybe a little misogynist. I don't think the act is misogynistic. It just seems rooted in massage.

In like patriarchal society. Culturally, this was expected. Sure. But I do enjoy it. I do too. But Jeff always looks at me like, what is your guys' deal? I know. Because the women in his life, they don't do that.

They're just like, dinner's ready. It's not like, there is no like, honey, let me. Let me cut up your stance. for you and can feed. But the weird thing is, you and I didn't grow up seeing that. So where did it come from? Where did it come from? Just watching TV, Nick at Night?

Nick. I loved Nick at Night. So did I. But you loved. Nick at Night. Nick at Night now is like friends, but growing up it was all the old shows. Dick Van Dyke and Happy Days. I Love Lucy is probably my all-time favorite show of all-time. Really?

I La Lucy is my favorite show of all-time. My all-time favorite show. My all-time favorite show of all-time. Show. Show. I do. I love it. But yeah.

That's interesting, Lou, because we both, like, basically single mom. Like, it's not like we had this example of our moms doting over a husband and doing X, Y, or Z. So where did it come from? I don't know. Maybe because we didn't see it. We're like, this is how you keep a man. This is what my mom did wrong. I don't know.

Interesting for another time, I guess. Yeah, we'll do some research on it. We'll do some research on it. And report back. And report back. All right. Well, this has been great, guys. Thanks for listening.

That was a hate gum podcast.