Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Jennifer Meyer on Tobey Maguire co-parenting, Birds and the Bees-talk, and Gwyneth Paltrow uncoupling method

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

Jewelry designer Jennifer Meyer talks to Rachel and Olivia about her divorce from actor Tobey Maguire, forming a strong co-parenting partnership together, and drawing inspiration from Gwyneth Paltrow. They also discuss how and when to talk to your children about sex, how to best run a company, and which movie universe they would want to live in.Broad Ideas is supported by Blissy. Try now risk-free for 60 nights, at blissy.com/rachel, and use code RACHEL to get an additional 30% off.Broad Ideas is supported by Tropical Smoothie Café. Visit one of Tropical Smoothie Cafe’s 1400+ locations or order online or through their app.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or, wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes when the work inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside,

to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys. Because people die. And thank you for having me. Oh, my God. We were so excited.

Are you kidding? But yeah. So it's just, you know, there's not a lot of people that grew up here. But we all did. Born and raised in L.A. Yeah. Born and raised in L.A. Yeah.

Which is a rarity. But don't you kind of feel like, I feel like we're the most normal like here as far as like. I really love like L.A. people. Yeah. I have the best, like the greatest friends, the, my little family. like everyone I love has been raised here. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's like your friends you've had for my whole life. Like your whole life. Your whole life. Yeah. You guys are like an impenetrable group. Oh yeah. My friends are my family for sure.

Yeah. I mean, obviously like there's nothing better than making new friends at times. But my like core group of friends is like minimum like 18 years. Wow. Yeah. That's how we are. Yeah. Yeah. Just like a forever thing. I know. It's a for everything. You can't replace that. New friends are great. Yeah. New friends are great. You like mom friends. Like that happens. You know because of kids and stuff. I always say you can't make new old friends. You can't make new old friends. Yeah. There's nothing better than people who just know everything. Yeah. Right. We met a friend recently and he was like, you know, it really upsets me that I haven't been with you guys the whole time. And I was like, I think we have to go back and, like, put your picture in all our memories. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Because we want to, we liked him so much. We want to be like, remember when? That's so cute. Because certain people you meet and you're like, it's like we've known each other forever. Of course. You get a few of those along the way. Right. You do.

Yes. Which is the best also. The best. Yeah. And it's because of the kids. I mean, at least for me. You're starting. She's so funny because she just because of the kids.

No, I mean, the ones that you're making now. Well, some. But she has two boys and they're young and she hasn't, just this year, to the first year she's starting like the play dates and like really getting into it with the parents. Because this whole time she's like, how are you hanging out with other parents all this? I'm like, what are you doing? You like, I think when your kids are young, you hang out with a lot of people and a lot of new friends and a lot of new people because it's like your kids like the kids and it's fun and it's easy. And then as they grow up, there's really just a very few that stick.

Yeah, because you don't have to be. Yeah. You don't have to make different friends. Yeah. They grow up and have new friends and people change schools and things like that happens. So you end up seeing like, okay, there's a couple moms or a couple people here or there that you end up sticking with. But it starts to balance itself out, you know? I would imagine.

Yeah, you go through phases. Yeah, for sure. The life. They're not, like, there's so many phases of life. Aren't there? Oh, so many. So many. I've been through so many at this point. I mean, speaking of which you have teenagers, I want to know about that. Yeah. Yeah. We're not there yet. We're scared. We're scared. I'm terrified. You know, it's so great. I mean, it's complicated. Teenagers are complicated. And somebody once said to me, like, when my kids were little. It's like bigger kids, bigger problems. You know what I was like? Huh, really? Like the younger years, they really say, I mean, it's true. It's like the days are long and the years are short because those days are long. And they need you 24-7. There's nothing they can do without you. Yeah. They can't

go feed themselves. They can't go take a shower themselves. They can't go take a bath themselves. They need you to go to the bathroom with them. They need you to get them dressed, get out the door like every little thing. Right. Right. You know, but emotionally it's different because the emotions, like, they're heightened in moments, but they're not like emotional moments of like this person really hurt me or I have so much homework. I'm so overwhelmed or what college should I go to or there's this boy or situations like that. Totally. And I'm like, wait, what? I'm like, you're asking me for advice. Okay. I hear it. I got it. Right. But really the older my kids have become, I mean, I'm best friends with them.

And they tell me everything. And mom, I love you so much. But like, I really did not tell my mom everything. Right. I remember seeing someplace you really had a very open relationship with your mom. Yes. Like too much so. No, no.

Yeah. It's so good. It's good. But she would come to meet me and be, like, have the virginity taught, like losing your virgin. It was like literally like the next, the morning after I lost my virginity. I'm like, how did you know? Like she gets new witch, you know?

And then she'll get down though about things you just like, so well, it's called connollingis. And I'm like, mom, like, not going to use that word, first of all. And I don't want to talk to you about this. Right. You know, but yeah. It still makes me cringe. I know.

I was just talking to one of our best friends because my son brought up sex. Oh. Help. How old? Maybe you can help me. He's eight years old. I just ordered a book, but he brought it up. And then I'm like, I am stumped.

Like, I don't know. I got the book. What is it called? Like, everything's so amazing or something like that. Who told you to get that? Nicole. Oh, yeah. Well, I will tell you this.

I read something years ago that said if you haven't spoken to your child about sex by the time they're nine, somebody else has. That's what I'm saying. And, yeah. My daughter's nine and I'm like, it's time. It's time. We got to do it. And it's, you have one chance.

Somebody told me that you literally have one chance. And when Ruby brought it up to me, she was eight years old. Yeah. And it came up in a really crazy way. Like I can't even. It came up in such a crazy way. And I was like, oh, God, oh, God, here we go. And when I was trying to.

trying to explain it, she said, no, mom, I want to understand exactly how I got into your belly. Yep. Oh. And I told her. Yeah. Exactly how. I explained it. Very detailed.

Scientific. Like all of it. All of it. Yeah. She was like, oh, wow. That's sex. And I said, yeah. And my son was there.

And he was five at the time. Oh, my gosh. So he heard too. Yeah. And then the question's just like driving to school. I mean, I took a video of it once because I was like, this is amazing. But the question. were just like they wanted to know every little detail about everything, blah, blah, blah, blah. And

the one thing I said to them was like, listen, you're asking big girl questions and I'm giving you big girl answers. But the one deal is that you cannot talk to your friends about it. That's what right. And if they bring it up, right, you're allowed to say, listen, I know what it is. I'm not going to tell you if you're right or wrong. My mom told me, but she told me that you have to ask your mom. That's exactly what I said. And that's perfect. But you, you're have to give them all the details because otherwise if you don't, I think this therapist was telling me all they hear is that like when I ask my mom hard question, she's going to lie to me. Yeah. Yeah. That's so, that's such a good point. And you don't have to be like, listen, I want to

sit down. I want to talk to you about sex. Like any human's going to be like, oh my God. But it's sort of like on the way to school or something where they don't have to like look you in the eye and you're like. I find that it's always in the car driving that things come up all the time. Yeah. Like mine was in the bath. Right. But here's the thing is I put him off. So basically I was like, because I felt, I felt alone in it in that moment. I was like, I don't really know how to deal with this. So I basically was like, okay, so that's a conversation I want to have with you. Shepard, your younger brother's here. I don't know if he's ready for it. So let's talk about it later. And he goes, I want to know every single detail. And I said, okay. And he goes, well, what, what is it? Is it humping? And I was like, yeah, you know. And he's like, well, is it like what animals do?

And I was like, it's totally what animals do. And he was like, but what part humps? And I just started being like, I need just a minute to make sure I do this, right? So I basically was like, I want to tell you all about it. I just need a minute. I think it's like, and that's great. And then I think you just say to him once you get the book. I got the book.

So I think you can just say to him, you know what? You asked such amazing questions. And I was so proud of you for like asking me those questions. And like whenever hard questions come up, like I'm going to answer all your questions. Here's what sex is. There's a penis and there's a vagina. Right. The penis goes into the vagina and or whatever.

Yeah. That's the form of sex. That's this form of sex. Now I think there's so many other forms. Right. Right. But like we don't need to. Right.

Right. Like, I don't know, but like if you're talking about, you know, you can start there. And you say, like, the questions will evolve from there that I can, I'm happy to explain. And that's what happens. And there's an egg inside, there was an egg inside of mommy. And, you know, something came out of daddy's penis that was like, I don't, you know, whatever it was. And it made you. And it was amazing.

And look, I got a book. So we can actually read a book. Yeah. You know? Yeah. about it. And you'll have more questions. You might need to get the book too. Well, so my daughter's like a very young nine, right? The kids around her aren't. No, totally, totally. I don't know that they're, they're completely talking. She's about to go to a new school and it's an all-girl school,

right? So I don't know, I'm not saying it's not going to be talked about because there was an instance in her old school where someone made a comment like, I want to do with so-and-so what you do to make babies. So like, there's the dialogue. You just have to. You just have to do it. You have to get ahead of it. Just do, yeah. I don't want someone else exaligning it to her for sure. I think you just say like, listen, you're going to a new school and you're going into fourth grade and it's amazing and kids are going to be talking about a lot of things. And the one thing they might talk about is sex. So I want you to have all the information for yourself. Yeah. From me. From me. They're for sure going to be talking about it in fourth grade.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Without a doubt. Yeah. I mean, I will say like what I've witnessed it is different dialogue in general between like girls and boys. Oh, you mean your daughter's not walking around saying suck my balls all day? Like her kids? My five-year-old would be like, suck my balls. I'm like, where do you get that? Yeah, where does he get that? He does pick up everything. There's nothing. I did also say what we talked about sex because I was like, and you're not allowed to kiss anyone until you're 16. I was like so. Good luck. Yeah, but did they did your daughter follow that I mean, you know. Because I was so young, you know.

I mean, I had an older brother, but like I was definitely on the younger side of like boys. Yeah. I do. Yeah. So whatever. But that's why I'm like, my daughter, I'm like, I know. I actually find when generally, obviously you have a different relationship with your mom. And again, I love my mom.

But like, I actually find when kids have the ability to talk to their parents and ask a lot of questions and like have this really open dialogue. They're not so interested in like sneaking around and like finding out for themselves. True. It's like they already have the information so they feel a little bit more solid. Right. I think. I do too. I do. They're not like, let me try and figure this out behind my parents. No. Yeah. My daughter has this pattern right before she goes to bed. It's like everything comes out. When we're in bed and laying there and she talks me about everything. She'll tell me about the day. She'll ask me questions. You know, she had a play date and a girl was talking about like some, I'm not, oh my God, I'm not laughing. It's horrible. So I'm like,

disease she had where she almost lost her eye. And Breyer was so concerned that she was going to get this disease. Like, am I going to? Yeah. Is that going to happen to me? You know, but they're so curious. Yeah. But she comes to me with everything, which is great. It's just a lot of the time, well, before bed, it's like morbid and it's really interesting that. Yeah, but that's actually good for her to process before she goes to sleep because then her subconscious is going to go to work. Right. Right. Right. Right. I think it's like, listen, your kids in the bath, your kids before bed, mine are in the car. You know what I mean? They kind of find their space. Totally. They kind of find their space. Yeah. And they are so curious. But you're right. Like to be able to actually ask the questions is everything. And get answers.

Yeah. Get answers. Yeah. I think I was scared too, to be honest. I was like, no. he's going to like be curious what we're doing when the door's locked or you know I'm like are we really opening that door like I felt almost like a teenager like I'm going to get caught or like what like what better for a kid to assume that their parents are like in love and having sex and like actually being like intimate yeah there's so many kids who experience shitty relationships true right and parents it shouldn't be together. Right. Like, you know, you get to show like, you know, the goal is the person you're having sex

with is the person you're in love with. Right. You know, that it's a beautiful relationship. Like, that's, those are the people that eventually you have sex with. Right. Right. That's what our friend Nicole said to. She goes, I told my son, like, when it's time to have sex, that's the person that

you're going to have a child with. Yeah. I was like, okay. Exactly. How she rules. She's like, this is what's going to happen. Yeah, she's like, so if you want to do that, if you want a child, like, do you really think you're ready for that? Right, right.

And how old were your kids when you guys separated? I think Ruby was 10. Otis was like about eight, almost eight, and Ruby was 10. Okay. I'm always curious because I was nine when my parents split up. Yeah, I was seven. Oh, you were. Okay.

So it's all kind of like. It's all the same. It's all the same. Yeah. And my daughter was almost three. She was like two. So she doesn't even, you know, remember. Yeah.

So I'm always curious like how, because I was fine. I mean, I think, you know, I have a good relationship with it. Am I fine? Are you okay? That's what we're talking about. I'm not okay. You know what? I think for me, I, listen, the day you tell, the day we had to tell our kids, that was, that was a bad day.

Yeah, of course. That's a bad day. Right. And they were, my daughter was demol. And that was the hardest. That was the hardest. Yeah. And it was brutal.

And she always said, like, I thought you and dad were coming to tell me that you were surprising me and taking me to like the greatest concert ever. Oh, no. So like that week, I like scrambled so hard to find a concert. And there was like a charity event at the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah. And I was like, Toby, I'm like, Ariana Grohl. Ronde's performing and like, Megan Trainor and all these people.

I'm getting a box and I'm surprising them. And we're taking, he's like, okay, okay. We're taking them as a family to this concert. But yeah, they, you know, I think that was a bad day and it was really shocking and it was really sad and awful. And I think it was like heartbreak, you know, obviously like heartbreaking, shattering for the kids. And it was shattering for us to have to tell them.

But, you know, we didn't make the choice lightly. Casually. You know, think about it hard. Of course. And, you know, Toby's my best friend now. Is that right? Yeah. Are you serious?

Yeah, their dad is my best friend. Oh my God. That makes me want to cry. I know. That is beautiful. Yeah. We travel together. We do every holiday together.

Are you kidding? No. I'm so lucky. That is so. I literally have the best ex-husband in the world. and I hit the jackpot. That is. And like I don't, I honestly don't know what I would do without him in my life.

Like, I ride for him so hard. Like, he's so phenomenal. And by the way, I have the most amazing boyfriend and Toby and him are closed. Are you sick? Oh my God. That is like, I know. What a dream. I'm really lucky.

Like, I don't know how I got so lucky. I mean, listen, Toby and I've done a lot of work together to like create that. Wow. But that's incredible. He's A-plus. I can't say one bad thing about him. He is incredible. And he has been, yeah.

I mean. I know. Yeah. Wow. That is shocking. You hear that. It just as you don't hear that much. No.

No. Like whoever, whatever girl ends up with him. Yeah. Is like the luckiest girl. Oh. And they get me. Yeah. I know.

They get you. Yeah. They get you. Yeah. They get a bonus mom or whatever. Are you single? Should you date her to be? Oh.

Hey. Wait. That's all be fun. Hold on. Wait. You guys are like cute together. I mean, just to be like best friends with you, then yes. You guys are really cute together.

She's taking one for the team. You can be best friends? She's like, I've always wanted in that girl group. But like, we, can we do this? I will. I'm going to make your life very easy. I promise. So funny.

It's so incredible. And like you guys all vacation, you do holidays. and your boyfriend's fine with like the whole set up. It's amazing boyfriend. We've been together two years. Oh my God. The best. Oh, yeah.

I introduced. So my boyfriend and I have been dating like barely dating for like five weeks and it was my birthday. And I was having a birthday party. This is two and a half years ago. And I was like, love you to come to my birthday party. I was like, it'll be all my friends. I was like, plus my ex-husband will be there.

I was like, I know it might be like a lot to jump into. I was like, but wherever this goes, like, my ex is like a massive part of my life. So whoever's in my life just going to have to know that. And he was like, great. I love that. And he was just zero jealousy because there's nothing to be jealous of. Yeah, right. Pure friendship.

That section, that part's over. That part's over. And they're so, they're both great. Great. I mean, we were just in London together for Thanksgiving all of us. What? Yeah. That's really cool. Oh my God. And they're friends. Totally. And that's amazing for your children to see. And it's also like to me, I'm like, look at this is taking it to a different level on like a spiritual level. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I'm like. Very spiritual. Okay, good. I just feel like your soul has these contracts with people.

Totally. Right. And they come in and we're with them for certain amount of time to learn and heal and grow. and when that contract's over, right? And it's time for a new person to come in. Why wouldn't you guys still continue growing together when you're parents of the same humans? We're going to have the same grandchildren. You're going to have the same grandchildren. We're stuck together for life.

Yeah. The same grandchildren. And the thought of like, oh, you have the kids Thanksgiving and I don't, like, I couldn't handle it. Oh, my God. It was not going to work for them. Wow. Yeah. You know, like, oh, you had them last year,

And I think the two of us were just like, no, no, no. Like, we're going to, we got to make a plan here and figure it out. Support for broad ideas comes from Blissy. Who knew that a better pillowcase is all you need for better sleep? Let's talk about practicing self-care while you sleep. Set yourself up with better sleep with Blissy's award-winning 100% mulberry silk pillowcases. Seriously, silk is what's best for your hair and skin. It reduces frizz, tangles, and prevents breakage.

That's because it keeps the moisture in your hair and keeps your skin care products and natural moisture on your skin, while cotton literally absorbs it off of your face. I love going to bed at night, especially in the hot, humid summer, waking up without Frizz. Let me tell you, Frizz has always been an issue, but Blissy pillowcases have come to my rescue. Everybody loves them. They have a ton of different prints in colors and they make great gifts because there's an option for literally anyone. Men love them too. They have over one million raving fans and you could be next. Try now risk free for 60 nights at blissy.com slash Rachel and get an additional 30% off.

That's B-L-I-S-S-Y dot com slash Rachel and use code Rachel to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you. I think a lot of times why relationships don't work out after a breakup is that our egos get in the way. Right, right. And one person is angry at the other one. Yeah. More than the other one's angry, right? Right.

And they've just decided that person's a piece of shit. That person does everything wrong to make them feel better. Right, right. Right. Rather than like, okay. Oh, 100%. How can we come together for this human that we both created? Right.

Right. That we love. Like, what do we do? Right. I think it's the individual work, right? You have to have two willing participants. You really do. You could do all the pulling and pushing you want on your side.

You can't do it alone. You can't do it alone. But the one thing I think that people can do alone when you're going through a very shitty divorce breakup with kids involved, obviously very different when there aren't kids involved and a whole other. You know, nobody likes that kind of breakup either. That's a whole other thing. Right.

You're not stuck together. But I think the one thing you can do on your own is not fight with the person. let them fight with you. That's okay. Right. Then they've got, but if you're not participating, they're going to get tired and go elsewhere. So yeah, it's usually you don't engage. You just can't engage. Yeah. Yeah. You really can't. Right. You keep it to the fact. Yes. Exactly. And just repeat the facts and you don't engage. And that's the path. Exactly. Yes. I think that though, yeah, no, I'm super lucky. Like I, but again, it wasn't. overnight. It takes so much work for a family to get there. Like a couple counseling,

therapy, like all of it, right? But it's, you guys actually put the kids first is what I think is the through line with things, you know, working out in a way is like if both parents like are like all about what's best for the kids and like if it can work, right? So it's like putting them ahead of everything else. Listen, I and I've, I've said it before and this is just giving her So she can get credit where credits do that right when Toby and I were starting to break up, I watched what Gwyneth Paltrow was doing with Chris and this like conscious uncoupling that everyone was sort of making fun of. Right. And I got to see it firsthand. And it was the most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed.

Wow. These two human beings go through. And she was so loving and kind and. and opened to him. And she created this family. And I watched her do this. And I was like, wow, that's not what I was taught growing up. I was taught that divorce is ugly. I was taught that divorce was bad and it would never be good and whatever it was. Like, how did you do that? Yeah. Please. What do I do? Because we're just starting to break up and it's feeling very scary. And bad, and it wasn't feeling good at the beginning.

Yeah. And she said to me, I want to introduce you to one person. And she didn't tell me her process. She didn't tell me anything. I just witnessed their beautiful breakup. Right. And I was like, you guys are an example for every couple who is breaking up, her and Chris. It was an example for everybody.

And she didn't tell me her process. She just said, I have someone for you to meet with good luck, basically. Because I think you've got to give people their own process. Right. Sure. And I started talking to a guy named Dr. Habib Sadeghie. Oh, I know him. Yeah.

Yeah. He went to USM. I went to the same school. Oh, yeah. People have done that. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

I've never done it. I did it. Yeah. She, that's amazing. She's pushing at her husband. Oh, amazing. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny.

I'm going to a wedding this weekend for two people who really went through that together. Oh, really? Oh, really? Yeah. It's beautiful. Yeah, I want to know more about it. But he, and he, he was an angel for us. Wow. So we both saw him and talked to him and he is, is that his whole theory is the conscious uncoupled. Did that come from him? That came from him. That came from him. Yeah, I remember

being like, oh my God, it came from Sadeke. Yeah. Yeah. His whole thing is just about, which, if it could be like this for everybody, you know, about the children, about, like, how do you, you're a family. Like, you're going to be a family. You're going to be a family. no matter what in a way. Like you share DNA with somebody. Right. You know what I mean? Like your two DNA have created these people that you both, it's like you, I always say like

the two people Toby and I love most on this planet are the same people. Right. You know what I mean? Like there's a bond there. Yeah. You know, but yeah, like I got lucky, but it was also you got a work. Right. Work at it.

Like hard work pays off. Right. That's in general. Yeah. It's like you can't be a good parent if you're not. It's like, yeah, the children come first. But to me, I'm like the individuals come first because if you're not looking at that stuff on your own and you're not working on your resentments and your finger pointing and blame and victim, then you're not ever going to be able to consciously do anything. Yes.

Period. Right. You won't be able to consciously parent, you know. The hardest stuff in the world is to look at yourself. Yeah. And like, you know, how can I change? How can I be better? What am I doing wrong? Like, why am I reacting like this? Like, that was sort of the biggest shift in my life of like taking note of my own shortcomings. The things that like I needed to do better, to be better. Was it the divorce that brought you to that or were you at it before that? I mean, I guess I would always like to think that like in my life I was always trying to better myself. But I think that I think that. I was very comfortable being uncomfortable. So I was just, and we both were, we had young kids, and we probably knew that the marriage

was over for like a little while. Right. But we really cared about each other and respected each other. So you're sort of like, oh, what do I do? But, and then I think, like, when you make a move in your life and you're really uncomfortable, like, that's for me was, that for me at that time. was like the biggest shift. Yeah.

Like, okay, I got to get on my healing journey. Yeah. Before I collapse. Right. Basically. Wow. Yeah. Life is no joke.

It really, yeah. And I always say like it looks different for everybody. For sure. Like my life looks pretty great. And let me tell you, my life is really great. But there were days that were really dark. Yeah. Yeah.

terrible where you're just like, I'm going to get up, I'm going to shower, I'm going to take the kids to school, I'm going to make them breakfast, I'm going to talk, I'm going to be great, I'm going to be, everything's going to be amazing this morning, and then I can get home and like collapse. Yeah. Like you have an hour and a half gen, you can get through it. Right. And I'm just like, no, no, no, you can't live like that. No.

Right. But that's the healing. And no matter how great everybody's lives are, you're human. And you came here for something. Yeah. So it's like you're going to have to go. through those human experiences of growth and no growth comes comfortable? No.

Like, have you ever grown when you were comfortable? No. No, no. No. Not once. It's so shitty. Yes, so shitty. Like the worst I've ever felt in my life, there's been a couple times.

I'm like, oh, I came out so much stronger. So much better. Yeah. So much better. So much more, you know, clear, sure of myself, like whatever. And I had a therapist who has retired. It's devastating. But she was like, you know, you get back in the ring, like every time, you know, you show up.

You put yourself back in the ring and you do it. And like each time you get stronger. That is the thing about kids is like you have no choice but to show up every day. 100%. You know, but if we treated ourselves like we would treat children that we had and thought, I better show up for myself every day because I'm all I got. Right. Like you think about that.

It's like your kids, you. you, yourself, your work, your friends, like, you got to, you got to show up. It's so true. Yeah. I don't ever do that for myself. But, like, you know, you could be, like, dying inside and you're there for your kids. Yeah. It's true.

Sometimes you just got to remember. Yeah. And by the way. We talk about this a lot. You got to do it. For myself. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. She's on me about it. I'm on her. But, yeah, it's, you know, it's just, I don't know. And it's doing little things. for yourself. Right. Very little things.

Yeah. That like turn in, it's like all the little things add up. You know, like it's okay to go to dinner with a girlfriend on a night that your kid is home. Yep. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's okay not to put them to bed every single night if you have someone who can help you be here to

put them to bed. Right. Right. It's like, my mom showed up all the time. She's like, I'm going to read to them and put them to bed. And I'm like, you know what? Okay, great. If do that, I don't have to do it tonight if you're here to do it.

That's great. Right. And like, if I wanted to sit on my couch and watch a show or if I was like, you know what, I know you want to do it, but I really want to put them to bed tonight. Or if my girlfriend was like, just meet me. Let's go. Yeah. Great.

Like you just got to do little things to like feed your soul. Yeah. For sure. Little. Yeah. You know, I'm not saying go away for a weekend. No. That would be nice.

Yeah. I think it's a, I think it's a daily practice. too. I think you feel as good as you, it's a bank. Yeah. Right. And if you don't put into your bank, you have nothing to actually give so you're just giving from your reserve. Yeah. And then you're a worn out or exhausted or tired or overwhelmed mom versus a, you know, a fully functioning human. Yeah. Which is hard, but I mean. Yeah. No, it's true. And it can just be the littlest thing. Little. I know. I know. It's just, it's hard. It's hard for me. Yeah.

You know? But that's because you're a good mom and you love your daughter and, you know, you work hard and you have all these things that you're doing and you're an actress and you do your podcast. You do all these things and it's like you're like, I can't drop a ball. Right. You know what I mean? Right. But just because you're going to do something for yourself doesn't mean you drop a ball. Right.

You know? Right. But like the littlest thing if you like forget something or whatever, I'm so hard on myself because then I'm like, am I fucking her up or what? You know, like, it's all this pressure as a mom and, like, the guilt and whatever. Well, we're all definitely fucking our kids. Like, you can just, like, know that. But we're supposed to. Yes.

You know, like, there is that. There's going to be stuff that, like, our kids are going to talk about us in therapy. Like, there's no, like, there's no getting around that, you know? I've never met somebody who's like, I don't know. My mom and my dad were perfect. They were absolutely perfect. And it's like, and then they're not. it's like, then those people would have been robots. They wouldn't be human. So I think that

if we know there's going to be stuff for our kids that they're going to have to deal with in their own lives. But all we can do is like love them, support them, be there for them, like, do the best we can. And like, I've had pretty dark days as a mom. You know what I mean? Like, I've had pretty dark days here and there where you've like yelled at your kid, where I've yelled at my kids, or I've gotten frustrated or I've forgotten to bring this to school or I didn't pack this or whatever it is these moments or I didn't book that ticket or this sold out and they had told me. I mean, but guess what? My kids don't remember any of it. Right. I mean, maybe they remember it, but they don't hold me to it. Right. Like, I don't, I mean, it's sort of like how many times have our kids

hit us or pulled our hair when they're little or had tantrums or thrown things or drop something on the floor because they were angry and broke something. I don't know. You don't think about it. They're kids. Who cares? You love them more than anything. Right. Just get over it. Right. Like, I always joke with my daughter the second she was born, they put her on my belly and she shit all over. I said to the doctor, I was like, what is this? And they're like, oh, she just pooped. I was like, okay. And then they cleaned it all up. And then she did it again. You know, it's that like maconium.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, like tar. And I was like, oh my God. She did it again. I was like, you know what?

I was like, great way to start. I was like that. I still love her. And I still love her. Exactly. Oh my God. That's really funny. It's so true.

And also my husband and I were talking about this because I asked him yesterday. I'm like, what? Name me one person that says they want to be like their parent. It's very few. and far between. Most are in therapy trying not to become their parents. That's just the fact. Right. I'm like, so if we're, our kids came in to learn, to evolve. And in order to do that, they're going to try to not be like this, be like us. No matter how good we do, their filter is going to find something for them to grow past. Yeah. And that's their, that's what we're here for. We're here to help them evolve. And so we can,

can't, no matter what we do, we can try and do it perfect. And then their filter will be like, she was home too much. Do you know what I mean? Like, they're going to pick the thing to, to grow from. For sure. So there's no point. Right. I know. Just last night, Breyer was in the kitchen. We had gotten home and she wanted to watch a show before bed. And I was like, okay, well, go now or you won't have time. But she wanted me to go with her, you know? And instead of me being like, that's so sweet, I was like, you're not going to have time to like watch your show. Like, you have to go now if you want it, you know? And she was like, it seemed like she was so hurt that I wasn't acknowledging.

And I checked myself because I was like, oh, she like wants this, you know, attention. And she wants me. And I was like, fuck. And I went to her and I hugged her. I was like, oh my gosh, like, I hear you. I will be done in two minutes. You wait here. We'll go together.

I'm going to watch with you. But like I clocked it. And then like, I lay there and I think about it. And I'm like, okay, I hope she. was okay with it now. You know, just like the little like stresses of like, did I fuck up? But yeah, but we are.

We do. And it's just, you know. And by the end of the day, like, if you're doing your job right as a mom and as like a working mother or just a mom or whatever it is, you are tired by the end of the day. Yeah. That means like you are doing a good job. You are, it's like, I mean, we're not the only three moms who are.

excited that their kids were letting their kids take the 20 minutes or half an hour to watch the show because you usually will get those 30 minutes to yourself like okay you're watching the show right I have 30 minutes yeah I can read a book I could sit and do nothing I can scroll on my phone I can call my girlfriend I can pay these bills it's like you think that 30 minutes is precious yeah yeah you know right and then yes it's so sweet when they want you and sometimes you're going to be able to Totally. Do it. And sometimes we're going to have to say, hey, those 30 minutes, I really need these 30 minutes because I've got to do X, Y, C. Right. Yeah. And it was literally like cleaning the kitchen, like the things that I had to get to. Oh, my God. The amount of kitchen cleaning I did this weekend. Yes. Oh, my God. That is insane, though. That, that. Wait, what did you say? Like 18 kids, 12 kids. I think Friday night or 20 was like 18 or 20 kids at my house swimming. But like, you know, there's 17 year old. Yeah. So they're like. eating and hanging in the kitchen and playing music and then they're swimming and then I'm like, wow, that's a lot of towels, you know? And I mean, it was great, but it was, you know,

definitely like I woke up at like 630 in the morning on Saturday and I went downstairs and I kind of thought to myself like, and by the way, they tried to clean. I'm not going to lie. Okay. That's, that's, well, attempted. And I was like, either I can like, like, be like, Ruby, you and your friends need to like scrub this and do the dishes and you I was like but they're not going to do it how I want it done anyway like there's just no way you're going to have to redo it so I clean like a crazy person but like every corner and vacuuming and then I'm like of course like cleaning under the oven and I don't even know I like you could have eaten off the floor of my kitchen at that point and then Saturday

night they did it all over again and so then we did a huge clean on I did a huge clean again Sunday morning. And then she was like, oh, six friends are coming over and we're like going to make breakfast. And I was like, that's so cute. And also, oh, my God, this is going to be a mess again. But then I'm like, I'm so happy that I'm the house. Yes. That they all want to be at and sleep at and have a good time at.

So a little cleaning won't kill me. I love that perspective. I agree with that. I want to be the house. Yeah. I want to be the house. Yeah. mess and she's going to be like, we're out.

Right. So I'm like, it's okay. Oh, that's hard, though. I get weird with the messes. You're going to start getting easier and easier about it. I can't go to sleep with the dirty kitchen. Like, it just grosses me out. But when the kids are up until two in the morning in the kitchen, I'm like, what are you

going to do? I'm going to do it in the morning. Yeah. I'm going to sleep. Right. You're not going to worry. Well, they're also teenagers. It's different.

Yeah. Do you don't have as much control because they're full, fledged humans. Right. Like I can't yell about there being like Taco Bell and McDonald's there. I'm like, what the fuck? Like, you know? Like you've got heroin and whole foods in the fridge. Like what are you doing? But I'm just like, you know what? You know what? You're all good. It's all good. We all did it. You know? We all did it. For sure. Oh, yeah. We all did it. It's so funny. I remember when I was a teenager, we had this one friend and we could do everything at their house, like everything. we stole their car.

Like we were bad, bad, bad, bad. Right, okay. Okay. We took the parents' car. We would have major parties there, like all of this. But we got grounded. And for some reason, her parents were allowed to ground all of us. And we all got grounded because we ate all the cereal.

Oh, yeah. Oh, Jenna. Oh, yeah. Like, that's so funny. We could do anything. But not eat the cereal. Not eat the cereal. Oh, like, I've popped up every drop of alcohol.

Oh, because I'm like, there's, that's. That is like, I get really worried about that stuff. Of course. You know, that I'm like not down for. So I'm not like the cool mom that's like, come get drunk in my house. Right. I'm like, no, that is, I don't want that at my house. But like, you guys want to hang out all night.

You want to be here until two, three in the morning. You guys want to swim. You guys want to watch TV. You want to eat all my food. You want to order postmates. I don't care about like you're not doing drugs and you're not drinking alcohol. Like, I'm not down. Yeah.

Right. I'm in full agreeance with that. Not down. I'm not down at all. Like I would never, but I think I'm a little psychotic about it, but. Slightly. Slightly. Like, I think that that when it comes to teenagers, I feel like that already scares me.

Yeah. Because how do you control it? But have you talked to like Ruby about like, would she feel comfortable? Like, mom, can I try this or whatever? And like, is that open? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We have all those conversations.

And, you know, there's no avoiding that your kids are going to try stuff. You know what I mean? But I'm very much like, shit is laced and there's scary stuff out there and there's scary pills out there. And I am like, that is, I draw a hard line. You know what I mean? So I'm really honest about like what can happen and what has happened. And Ruby, Ruby.

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I do want to terrify them. Oh, yeah. What's out there, you have to. It's so scary. I remember my dad told me when I started ninth grade. He's like, you're going to be around drugs and this and that. And I was like, okay. And people are going to want you to try cocaine.

I'm like, okay. And he said, it'll come up. He goes, first of all, there's nothing more disgusting or less sexy than watching a girl with white lines on. a table at a party snorting it up her nose. I was like, ew, that's disgusting. He goes, I get it, but it's going to, you're going to see it and it's going to happen. He said, but the thing is, you could be the kid or the human or the adult and you don't know that you have a secret heart problem. So you could try cocaine for the first time and it can give you

a heart attack and you can die. So guess what? I've never tried cocaine in my life. Not once. Not one time in my life. That is so smart. My parents said the same thing to me. I'm like, I don't want to die. I've never done cocaine. You never tried it. Not one time. Me neither. Not one time.

And I have been around it. Let me tell you. Me too. I have been around it. And that is like, I just never did it because I'm like, oh, I'm going to die of a heart attack. No, thank you. Right.

No, that's not interested. 100% that is going to the conversation. I think somebody did die around my, like maybe at my parents' house or something like that, like something really terrifying like that. Yeah. And they told me what happened. And they were on this. Like an adult?

An adult. And they said, like, the person had a heart thing, but didn't know. There you go. And so that was the same reason. I, like, you know, experimented whatever, but never touched cocaine once. Never once. And then I'm like, and what's the best case scenario? I like it.

Yeah. Right. That's not good. You know, that's not a good case scenario. No, that's not a good path. That's not a good at all. Oh, I would have been a Cokehead. Are you kidding?

Yeah, you would have been a Coke head. For sure. I would have. But I do think that it's scaring the shit off. of them is good tactic. Yeah, it worked on me. I don't even have to scare. My daughter's scared by nature. Like, you know what I mean? Like I said, the kid telling the story, she's like, is that going to happen to me? This other girl was like, I got run over by a car. I'm not laughing at what happened. It's just nervous laughter. She gets nervous laughter. I get it. I laugh when I get nervous. I get

one of my best friends does too. She's like, did you hear who died? I'm like, oh my God. I know. It's like, control yourself. It's really hard. But yeah, she's like, is that going to happen to me? And I just say no. You know, I mean, like, what are you going to say? Well, it could, but it probably won't. Not if you're careful. See me. I'm like, this is what I say. You don't go into the road. Right. Look both ways. Look both ways. When I say stay close to me in a parking lot, that's why. Yeah. Right. You use it. Oh, I use it all. Yeah. I like scaring my kids. You do. They're not scared at all. They're not scared of anything. Boys are different. Boys are different. Yes. Yeah. But also, I'm one because we did this like crazy genetic testing and I too have a weird like mutation on that gene.

There's certain genes that certain people have that are mutated so they don't experience fear. Oh well, I get scared of everything. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, my kids don't get scared. I don't have like emotional fear, but like physical fear for sure. You don't have emotional fear. What does that mean?

I'm saying like I don't like to swim in the ocean. Like I'll go on a boat, I'll hang out. I'll go on a jet ski. I love it. But like swimming in the ocean, like in the middle of the ocean, like are you fucking crazy? Like there are sharks. There are. Like they will find me.

There are like that shark will find me. Like I can't breathe. I'm not interested. Right. Like and I grew up in Malibu. I grew up on the beach. Right. But I was always like I love it.

I'll like jump in and get out. Go on a boat. But I will like to swim out in waves. Yeah. I don't want to do it. I don't want to conquer that fear. I'm not interested. Right. I'm not interested. Like, things like that. But like, emotional fear, like, I don't think about like, I don't know. I mean, I think we're the same. Getting into a relationship or something. I'm not like, this could be bad. Right. I'm like, this would be great. Right. You know what I mean? Like, he's going to change. We all do that. Full confidence in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. We're like, you know, when it comes. to work or things like that. I'm like, it's going to work or it won't. Like, we just keep trying. Yeah. You know, keep doing things. Like, everything will work out. So do you get scared of like, because this is fascinating. I think you're on to something that there's two different types of people.

I think you get more, you get, you're less scared of physical fears. I'm more scared of physical fears. That's true. Yeah. And I'm less scared of emotional fears. I don't think I'm super scared of emotional. No, but you're not confident. Like, I'm not afraid of like a communicative. Oh, yeah. I don't talk. Communication. That whole thing. You know. Oh, the talking. Yeah, the talking, communicating, confrontation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't scare me. Sure. That makes sense. Tell me if this, these are where my phobia's got a little psycho. Is it like, for instance, we went to a movie in the park the other night. I can't just lay there and not think like, oh, what if someone comes and shoots the place? Like, do you think of those kind of things?

I mean, you don't, you wouldn't at the park. We were at Beeman Park, like a sweet little park, but I'm like, someone could totally just come in here and. Yeah, listen, I won't let myself, if I let myself go there, like, I will have a panic attack. Right. So I don't think, you know, I try not to think like that. I try to. Yeah. Yeah, I try not to. But I'm also, like, you know, I don't love my kids going to the chili cookoff. I don't love them going to like a carnival. Like, I don't love things like that. You know, like, I don't, I mean, and when they were younger, like, I was crazy. Like, I was very, very protective. You know, I didn't love sleepovers with them sleeping at other people's houses. Or, you know, I was very specific with. You know, I was very specific with. You know, I was very specific with.

like where they were allowed to sleep or who was there or. Well, you've read those statistics about sleepovers, right? They're back. Which is, yeah. Which I never even thought about before until like this past year when someone brought it up. Like, I don't know that, you know. Yeah, when things happen, it happens. Guys, I've never done them. My kids have had one sleepover, but it's like my.

Well, they're really young. Yeah. They're young. So my daughter just doesn't sleep out because she doesn't want to either. Great. You know, and my kids, by the way, sleep home. sleep home. Have kids here.

All the time now. All the kids sleep over. Right. There is the ideal situation. I literally like wake up and my daughter's like a couple of people are sleeping over. Like I took a photo of it actually on Sunday morning because it was seven sets of shoes that weren't theirs. You know, it was like early in the morning. I'm like, I wonder who slept over.

Like I have no idea. I like that. And now you can't be like, you can't have boys sleep over. Oh my gosh stop it who is the girl sleeping what you can't do it oh my god that's never occurred to me yeah now you're just like okay oh yeah I know my truck yes wait that's new information yeah right right yeah okay it's a whole other world it's a whole other world oh who's sleeping over oh they are they are cool great whoever okay but you can't, you can't be like, wait, he can sleep over, but, but it's okay because he's,

he likes boys, so he's gay. Or you can't say like, oh, but he likes girls. It's not, he can't sleep. You just got to, like, you just got to trust that everybody's being responsible. Wow, sirs. Wow. Yeah, it's a whole other thing. Oh, my God. And by the way, there's a beauty to it because my kids are exposed to all kinds of children, which are not teenagers who are amazing. It doesn't matter. It's like, nobody talks about being gay or straight anymore. Right. Just be with who you love. And I love that concept for my kids. Yeah. Because it's like, I don't, I just, as long as you're with someone who makes you happy, like, that's literally all I care about. But then the sleepovers happen and you're just like, well, whatever, go, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. Yeah. I don't know what to say.

That's why you have to teach them the things that matter inside. Exactly. I mean, to be honest, my mom let my boyfriend sleep over from the time I was 15 years old. And everyone would be like, that's insane. I stayed with him until 23. There you go. You know, like everyone else was out there doing that. I was like with one boyfriend, he was my guy.

And, you know, it wasn't a bad thing. Yep. Right. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah. No, my high school boyfriend, like for sure. would always, yeah, my mom let him sleep over. Sorry, I'm like outing you. I know. Anyway, mom. Yeah. So to mind. So it's

like for me, I'm just like, okay, like, you know what? Whoever's sleeping here, like they're all good kids. Nobody's ever gotten in trouble. My kids tell me everything. Like, I just have to trust the process. Keep it that way. Yes. It's the trust. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I mean. I know. Good thing. I know. I know. God's good. I know. I'm sorry. For any advice. I've already been there. Speaking of advice, let's talk about your jewelry for a second. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, my jewelry. Oh, yeah, that.

Do you sleep with it on? I do. I sleep with all of it. I don't sleep with the hoops on. Yeah. Because I'm so obsessed with all of it. Sarah Olson, you know, is always wearing, like when we see her. She's the best.

I mean, she's not the cutest human that ever existed. But her jewelry game is so tight. Like, that's one area. I'm like, I need a mentor. I never been able to. I need it all. Yeah. I love doing it. It's fun. You've been doing it a long time. I've been doing it a long time now. And it's great. It's really great. And it's, you know, it's a company. Yeah. And I have a lot of amazing people that I work with there. And there's a lot of like design, but also logistics. And it's interesting when I'm more of a, I love design and arts and like creating and, like, creating and. coming up with ideas, but then you're like in a business, you know? Right. Yeah. So I didn't go to school

for design. I didn't go to school for business. So I always feel like every day I'm still, you know, figuring it out as I go along. But it seems to be working. Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah. I mean, you know, but is it, I'm curious, is it hitting the spot? Like, is there more from you that we're going to see that's elsewhere? Or do you feel like this is your thing? Because I, I read that you, you, you know, started with one design and then it evolved. Yeah, it evolved. And did it catch you as like, oh my gosh, this is my calling. This is my passion.

Or is there something else that you've still yet to? I mean, I love doing it and it is my passion. And I love design. I love jewelry so much. And I love seeing people in jewelry. And I think jewelry is such an important, like, sentimental thing. I think that as women, you look in jewelry. your jewelry box and you know who gave you that piece. What the occasion was for. Like, how did you feel

when you got it? Was it your mom's? Is it something that somebody you love bought? Somebody you love bought for you. Is it something you bought yourself? Is it a piece that you were like, you know what? Like, I did well this month. Like, I've always wanted this and like, I'm going to go for it. Like, I think we're really attached to it. And I, so I really wanted to design pieces that hopefully last forever and that people love forever and that they want to keep for themselves or pass down to somebody or buy for a friend or whatever it was. So yeah, I just had an idea and started designing a couple pieces and it, you know, people loved it and thank God. And then you've got to keep designing more and keep doing things that people love in order to have a business. But as I grew and was able to

like bring more people on to my team. I'm really lucky that I get to surround myself with people that know a lot of things better than I do in a lot of different arenas. Yes. And the, the girls that I work with that are my teammates, I mean, not on my team. They're really my teammates. Like, I don't know what I would really do without them. You know, they're just an amazing team. I mean, I have a girl named Caitlin. She's been with me for 14 years. It's like, I'm literally like, wait, I'm trying to remember. And she's like, br-da-da.

And I'm like, yes. Like, I can't, like, it's such shorthand now, you know? And like, just a team of real awesome, awesome people who know things a lot better than I do. Yeah. I love your attitude as far as collaboration. I do believe how we do one thing is how we do everything. Yeah. And so the way you are with your business sounds like the way you are with your children and your ex, that you're not like trying to own or take credit. You're very collaborative. And that is something that I feel like more people should aspire to be is like how do we as a business, we as co-parents, we as a family, and I hear so much of that from you. And I also think you're a really excellent communicator. Oh, that's so nice.

I love surrounding myself with people who are smarter than me and who can teach me things and who can do things that I can't do. And I also, like you, Rachel, like I hate fighting. I hate confrontation. If something feels off, if something feels uncomfortable, until I've confronted it, until I've, like, express myself, I am tortured inside. Like my stomach is flipped upside down. I feel nauseous. I feel like I get like, it physically affects me. Right.

Right. So I try and avoid that at all costs by communicating and by being open and saying things that like I need and want. And somebody said to me once, I might botch it a little bit, but I love this. A sure way of not getting what you want is not saying what you need. And I thought that was so important because I think like as we are working with people or we're in a relationship with somebody, like, and somebody doesn't do something that you want or you need. And we think that person should fucking know by now. I need to tell them again and again and again. Sometimes like, yes, you do. And you never know. You might say to that person, hey, actually, like, I really do need you to X, Y, Z. And they might say, oh, oh my god thank you so much for telling me now i can proceed right now i can do this right and we're all trying to we all have so many people in our lives and so many things in our life and

kids and work and relationships and all these things that it's like you can't keep everybody's needs straight all the time no no because are you know i say this too all the time is like one you can't be upset with someone for no not giving you what you're not giving yourself. Uh-huh. So if you're not hitting all your needs, how in the world are you going to ask that as someone else? Right.

And you also can't be resentful of things that people are not giving you if you haven't asked. Right. You're not allowed a resentment. Yeah. If you ask and they don't want to give it to you, you can be upset all you want. Different. But until you've asked or until you've given it to yourself and made sure your needs are met, you really can't get mad at them for not meeting you there.

Of course. Yeah. You say it all the time. Yeah. I'll be like, why isn't this happening? Like, well, you're not saying. Right. Yeah. Well, it really is hard to express ourselves. Yeah. It really is. But it's harder to hold on to it. You know? Right. Then it's like. No, it's worse. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're, I mean, not literally, but it's like you're drinking poison hoping the other person dies. Right. And not that you really want somebody else to go. No. No. No. whatever, but like you're you're literally holding it all in hoping the other person will get it or the other, the situation will work itself out or whatever. Yeah. It's like, nope, nope, nope.

No, no. Wouldn't that be nice, though? Yeah, oh my God, wouldn't it be? Yeah. I was talking to a 20-year-old and I was like, you know, you're going to want to eventually let go of that resentment. And he was like, well, no, because I feel this way. I feel very validated in the way I feel.

I'm like, that's cool. It's not affecting anyone else, though. Like, it's only hurting you, period. Right. So eventually, whether you like it or not, you're going to want to let go of that resentment. And especially young people, they're like, no, I want to hold on to it so tight. Yeah. Right. But it's pointless. It's pointless. It's only hurting you. It's exhausting. Exhausting. Yeah. But I'm sure there's a lot of communicating that goes into having a business. You got to communicate.

Yeah, you got to communicate. Right. And that's, is it hard to be a boss? I mean, the only, the only hard part of being a quote-unquote boss, I guess, is like, for me, the responsibility of knowing that I'm responsible for all of these people. and their jobs and their livelihood and their salaries and all these things. I really want to, I really want to provide and I really want everyone to like feel great and feel like they have the best job and that they're super happy, you know?

Yeah. And then there's also only so much you can do. Right. As far as your business is. Like you can only, everybody has a business that makes X amount of dollars and that's your business. So, you know, like, I would love to own Amazon. And then they wouldn't, you know, salaries and things like that would be a question. So it's like, you want to be able to like really provide for the people who do such a great job for you. Yeah. And, and then I think with any

company or business and it goes for friendships, too, there's, there's so much interpersonal stuff. Yeah. And people have, it's so easy to feel hurt. by somebody or offended by somebody or something to not go the right way that you knew would be really helpful or whatever. So I think like if people feel off, like I always want to be there to fix it, but then all of a sudden, but also I know like people are responsible to their adults and people can go through whatever they need to go through and work things out. But I try and just like be there for my team. I love my team. They're the best team. And they're really there for me too. You know? Yeah. Yeah. They're really there. And they really pick up the things that I'm unable to do.

Yeah. Back to trust again. Yeah. I'm really lucky. Yeah. Well, it sounds like you curated it. So I think you, I think you, you, you manifest. Yeah, you manifest bringing in the people that you want to be surrounded by. That's right. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And sometimes, you know, you make mistakes, whether it's relationships or friendships or whatever, and then you just keep it moving. Right.

You keep it moving. Keep this training moving. Exactly. Let's keep it moving. Okay. Okay. Yeah. We'll give you a few fun.

Okay. Sometimes they're fun. We don't know what we're going to get here. Oh, no. Okay. If you could live in a movie, which would it be? Oh, my God. A movie?

Yeah. Wow. Um, my favorite movie always growing up was Wizard of Oz. Awesome. Something sweet like that. Yeah. Not the scary. Not the scary.

Yeah. It's got a little. I close my eyes during that. Yeah. Block it out. And I want to stick with my family. But, you know, just being surrounded by your friend. Right.

I love Wizard of Oz. I do too. Yeah. So good. What would be your death row last meal? Oh, God. Um, my. death row last meal. I mean, it would be something like a like massive dim sum feast or something

or like fried chicken. Love it. Yeah. So good. What can you say at the dinner table that you can also say in bed? Give me more. Yeah. It's a zombie apocalypse and you have to be, you have to pick three people to be on your team. You're going to want to make them people, people know who they are. Otherwise, it won't matter. So, like, think about three people you'd want to be on your team.

My brain is... Yeah. Zombie apocalypse? Yeah, three people. Take, like, Dave Chappelle because I would, like, laugh really hard at least in a time that felt scary. I'd be like you would make it funny. Yes. Let's see.

God, these questions are. I know. I know. Wow. They are hard hitting. I'm like, I can answer all the emotional shit. He's like, okay, so Dave Chappelle's making me laugh. Who's a great woman that I would want on my team?

I feel like you know a lot. I know so many. Who could like get us out of like any situation? Yeah, like Chris Jenner. Like I feel like she can make a call to. She can make, like, a call to anyone in the world and, like, get us, like, picked up. I feel like she, like, has, like, multiple planes or, you know, like, kids with planes. And she's like, I got a plane.

We're getting out of here. Solution-based woman. Yeah, like, a very solution-based woman. I'm trying to keep it fun. I'm trying to keep it fun, guys. No, it's genius. No, we're not. And then I'd probably bring my doctor just in case, like, anybody needed any medical attention.

Like, we're good to go. Oh, that's really, that's a very well-c curated. Thank you. Team for an apocalypse. Yeah, my brain wouldn't even come up with that. No, it was genius. Yeah. Really?

It felt ridiculous. No, no, you nailed it. Okay. Okay, the house is on fire. What's the one item you grab? Oh, we had this problem. What? Everything was fine.

Everything was absolutely fine. And people said to me, what did you take? And I said, my kids. Yeah. And that was it. That was it. I got my kids in the car. Nothing else.

Not one other thing. Nothing. I said to both the kids, I said, pack a bag. And Otis grabbed like 20 stuffed animals and put them in like a bag. And I was like stuffed animals. And he was like, I don't want them to die. And I was like, oh, my God. Okay.

I don't know even what was in. I had nothing. Literally, I had my phone. I was like, get in the car. Get in the car. And it was the kids. And that was it. Okay.

Yeah. You got your kids. You need nothing else. My dog was out. Otherwise, I would have been like, Taffy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you meant like he didn't make the cut. No, no, no, no, no. The dog didn't make the dog with that. I love Taffy, but if I had to pick it, I would choose my children, yes, of course. But I do love Taffy. She's really cute. Would you one last one? Thoughts on women making the first move. Oh, we can end on that note. I mean, go for it. If you have the confidence or not even, like, what do you have to lose?

Right. Right. What's the worst thing they say? like, no, okay. What's the best thing they say? Yes. And it could be your person. Have you ever done it? Have I ever made the first move? No.

I have it. That was said with such confidence. I can't lie. I can't lie. But I'm not saying I wouldn't, you know? I would. Yeah. And I'm down with it.

Like, I always say, like, with everything in life, like, what's the worst that happens? You get a know and the best that happens, you get a yes. Right. Keep it moving. Keep it like that's your motto. It's like just keep it moving. Yes. Keep it moving. I think there's really cute ways you can make the first move, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like the older, I mean, at least I get, it's like, who cares? Who cares? Nobody. You get so stuck in your head, like when you're younger. And then you get older and you're like, who cares? I think that you, with everything like, the more we can be easier on ourselves.

So let's say you ask somebody out and they say no or whatever. Like instead of getting down on yourself, be lightheart about it. Be like, listen, I was like, I'm going to shoot my shot. Yeah. And if anything changes, you know my number. Right. You know what I mean? Like who cares.

Yeah. Like how many, I mean, I'm not trying to be obnoxious or whatever, how many guys have hit on us that we've said no? Right. They keep going. They can stop there. They don't care. They don't care.

No. They don't care. They did not stop here. I've had certain guys ask me out over and over and over and over. Totally. No, no, no, no. They don't care. They don't care for you.

You're so right. You are right. And we don't hold it against them at all. No. We're not like, oh my God, what a loser he asked me out. No. Right. We're like, of course he asked me out.

Yeah. Oh, my God, that's so interesting. You know, look at it that way. Yeah, I never thought of it that way where they don't stop. They don't stop. They're like, it's a numbers game. It's also what you. So what you were saying, like, if you're putting the energy out there of the energy you want,

like the more you give, the more you're going to get. So it's like if you wanted someone to ask you out and there's a guy or girl or whatever that you think is cute that you want to ask out, like try it. Then try it. Yeah. Well, it's also that exercise of it's living in the excitement of the unknown. It's like that, who knows? Yeah.

You definitely know if you don't try, it's not going to happen unless you sit around and wait, which is not a good energetic to be playing with the universe with anyways, because then you get more waiting. Yeah. So I say you move. I've only done it once and I wound up dating the person for a while. See, there you go. Yeah. And listen, I also say like you say yes to everything.

Like when I met my boyfriend, my girlfriend, Dorothy, was like, let's go to dinner. I was like, okay, it was just the two of us. And I was so tired that night. I was just like, oh, I'm so tired. Like I could just cancel. I was like, you know what? Just say yes to everything. And we went to dinner at the end of dinner.

She was like, let's get a tea. And I was like, wow, I'm tired. But okay, let's have a tea. And she's like, oh, my friend's going to come by. And two of them were going to stop by. And my boyfriend stopped by. Oh, my God. And I didn't think about it.

And the next day she was like, oh, Jeff wants your number. And I was like, why? And he was like, probably to ask you out. I was like, okay. and he's my person. Wow. But like the more you say yes, the more you put yourself in situations. I know.

Just open to opportunity. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you never know. Yeah, just a yes person. I've got a yes for you. We'll talk about it after the show. I have a yes for her too.

Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. I'm so excited about this yes for you. It's you guys. No, no. Yeah. It's a yes. Just yes.

I love that. I was like, yeah, no, you have to say. Yes to everything. Be open to everything. You're like, you guys. And I'm like, you guys, no. I read the book the year of yes, Shonda Rhymes. And I loved it. She did a whole year of yes. Wow. That's awesome. I want to read that. I just like that a movie. Yes, man. Yeah. Right. Is that what it's called? I don't know. What I don't know? It says yes to everything. Oh my God. I'm like, what movie am I living? I'm living like some like dark, no family, like my friends. What the fuck? You're like, why am I living?

Just like, oh my God, Apocalypse, Wizard of Oz. Oh, God. By the way, I'm going to be, like, thinking about this when I go to bed at night. By the way, I was like, we watched the Godfather last night. I was like, I can't say I want to live in the Godfather. No. I can't do that. Like, no. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Like, I don't know. Like, something about Mary's. Like, something like really, like campy and like fun. Then I was also thinking like, oh, pretty woman. I was like, no, that's about a hooker. Like, I don't know if I can say that. I'm thinking of all these, like. No, I like, yeah, you think of like the light. I did a dirty dancing. I would want to live in that. That's a good one.

That's a good one. Yeah, for sure. It's a little depressing, but good. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they've got their moments. Oh, you're right. They've got their dark corners. Yeah.

Well, you don't think because, like, you first see that movie as a kid. Like, I don't know what that shit was. Oh, I don't know. Oh, pretty woman to you was like. You knew what the hanger was about as a kid? Oh, yeah. I had older brother. Dirty dancing?

I didn't know. No. Over my head. go. It was over my head. All movies have something dark. I'm trying to think of like, they all do. I don't know where I would live. That's why I said like something about like a comedy of some sort. Yeah. Notting Hill. Yeah. Something charming. The wedding finger. Yeah. Or like a Nancy Myers. Any man. Oh my God. Yeah. Put me in that house. Put me in that house. Please.

Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Put me in beige and like that. Father of the bride. Oh my God. Yeah. I want to feel good. I want to feel good. I want to feel good. Find me a feel good movie. Yeah. Find me a feel good movie. Yeah. I like it. All my movies were not feel good movies.

Yeah. I know. I'm like good fellas. Like the bodyguard? Yeah. Oh my God. No, no. Totally.

Love the bodyguard. Yeah, it's great. Best. Yes. We'll figure it out. Oh my God. This was such a fun conversation. So nice.

Thank you guys for having me. That was a head gum podcast.