Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Liza Soberano on Mental Health, Lisa Frankenstein, and the Philippines

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Filipino-American actress Liza Soberano talks with Rachel and Olivia about mental health, the Philippines, and her new film Lisa Frankenstein. They also discuss fame, and how it affects your sibling-relationships.Broad Ideas is supported by Talkspace. Get $80 off your first month at Talkspace.com/IDEAS.Broad Ideas is supported by Paired. Connect with your partner every day using Paired – download the app at https://www.paired.com/IDEAS.Broad Ideas is supported by Green Chef. Go to greenchef.com/60broad and use code 60broad to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next two months.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Okay, first of all, I want to say, our guest today, Liza Soberano. She's in the movie... Oh, my God, I can't talk. Are you drunk?

I feel like I am. She's in the new movie, Lisa Frankenstein, who was written by Diablo Cody, and directed by Zelda Williams, who... This is her directorial debut. That's Robin Williams' daughter. Did you know this, Rob? No.

This is a very... A female-led movie, which I love. Love. And I just wanted to say that. I love it. I do, too. Liza is wonderful in this film. It's her first Hollywood film.

Yeah. And she just really did an amazing job. A really fun movie. Liza is lovely, amazing in the film. Yeah. Let's get to her so we stop talking. Sometimes when we look inside of all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside

to join us on this journey as we take a little ride We'll talk about dogs and kids and things We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings We'll talk about boys Because people die You look so pretty I love your outfit

We're so happy you're here Thank you so much I'm so happy to be You're so beautiful And even like I can tell your inside It's just Absolutely Shining.

Stunning. Thank you. I get so shy. Oh, you do. You're so sweet. It's just amazing. It's actually such a, like, I love being wrong. That's like something I love.

And like just getting to know you through watching the film and also like your Instagram and all these pictures. I would think that you would be intimidating. Really? Wouldn't you? Yeah. Like a powerhouse. Just like a diva. Just fierce, you know.

But you're the. most like tender, precious you can feel that you're a really... I'm really a shy girl. Aw. But thank you. I'm so flattered. Like, I'm really excited to be here today. And I was telling you earlier, I've listened to a few of the podcasts.

So I'm kind of fan-girling right now. Oh, my gosh. That's so sweet that you listen. That means so much. But, you know, just even like reading about you and like learning about you, just your upbringing and where you came from and all of it. of that is so interesting to us for many reasons. But did you grow up in Vysalia? Yes. So I was actually born in Santa Clara, like at Bay Area. And then I moved to Vyselia when I was around four or five.

Yeah. And then I eventually ended up migrating to the Philippines when I was 10. So I've lived in the Philippines a lot longer than America, but I did start here. Okay. My stepdad's family is from Vysalia, and you don't hear it often. So I ever saw that. Yeah. Wow. I know. When I'm Whenever I mentioned Vyselio, people are like, where's that? Yeah. Exactly. It's right smack in the center of California. Yes, very central California.

Yeah, when we saw that, we're like Vysailing of all places. Yeah. So then you did that and you went to the Philippines and when did acting everything? When did it all start? It all started when I was 12, actually. So I started by modeling first, but that only went on for like six months. I wasn't very successful at it, I would say. I mean, I find that.

And then I started like auditioning for some acting bits. And I didn't initially want to become an actress. It was kind of something that was just presented to me. And I grabbed the opportunity coming from a place of like need. And then the rest is history. I just started working. Yeah. But you were doing other things in the Philippines.

And you mentioned us before. You had your own podcast. Yes. did. So that actually started around the pandemic. Right before the pandemic, I started kind of struggling with my own mental health. And that was coming from like just years of focusing on work and not really getting to, I guess, fully be present in my childhood and like maturing process and everything. And so I was dealing with a lot of things mentally. And then I came across this company called Mind You in the Philippines. And they're the first, I would say, mental health service

company in the Philippines. And unlike here in the States, we're very, I would say, behind just in terms of like really understanding mental health and mental health issues and having like different areas to go to when you're struggling. And so I started, I partnered with that company and then I came out with a podcast in hopes of making it just more mainstream for people because in the Philippines, yeah, we don't really like to talk about mental health that much. Why do you think that is? It's a taboo topic because I think, honestly, it dates all the way back to being colonized because we were colonized for so long.

And we have this Filipino saying called Uttang Nalaob, which means like you're forever in debt to just be grateful for whatever it is that you have. And Filipinos always like to say we're so resilient when it comes to facing challenges and whatever. But it's actually like we're just people pleasers. We don't, yeah, we don't like complaining. We don't like talking about our hardships or anything. Everything has to be happy and pleasant at all times. And that's just not the way the world works.

Obviously we try our best to be happy at all times. In the Philippines, I think it's kind of a facade sometimes. You don't want to talk about the bad. It just has to be perfect all the time. Right. And when you started talking about it, how was it received? I think a lot of people started really opening up about their own struggles. And it started becoming less of a taboo topic, I would say. People started being a little bit more vocal on social media. I got a lot of messages from my friends. fans saying that it really helped them to think that like searching for professional help isn't isn't so bad, isn't embarrassing. And I got to meet a lot of cool people while on, while doing the podcast, I had a lot of different guests from different walks of life. I had a politician. I had actors. I had business people, businessmen. And yeah, it was just, it was so interesting to see

like how all these different like successful people kind of manage and deal with their stress and whatever issues are going on with their lives. And more than anything, I think I learned the most. I hope a lot of people learned by watching the podcast, but I think I learned. I took home the most. And what did you do for yourself during that time? So what did that look like for you as far as? Because I think that mental health is a very broad topic. It is. But what did it look like for you? How did you experience that? Mine came from a place of like not knowing actually who to talk to. That was my major struggle because I started working at such a young age and people pleasing at such a young age.

Whenever I would go through something, I would always feel hesitant to share like how I actually feel. I felt hesitant to be honest. And so for me, when I started doing the podcast, it was more of me trying to like regain my own confidence in a way or like security and like just feeling okay to feel bad about a certain thing or to be honest about the way I feel about certain things. And it's something I still honestly struggle with till now. and I'm constantly like I feel like there's something pulling me back whenever I'm answering questions even in interviews honestly because just being in the public light so much I feel like every little thing I say gets torn apart and gets interpreted in different ways. And so like I get very self-conscious. And so when I started becoming more vocal about mental health, my goal or my promise to myself was just to always be authentic and honest. So that's the that's where it kind of started. But I've always also been fascinated with psychology itself. And so I went to college for a year. It's amazing. Yeah. And I took up, I'm taking psychology, but I had to stop, unfortunately, because work got busy again. But my ultimate goal really is to make

mental health services more accessible in the Philippines and be able to provide to people that are less fortunate to be able to pay for these types of services. Yeah, I mean, I think it's such a beautiful thing. And I think, especially since the pandemic and everything else, it's been, I think people are more vocal and I think it's amazing. But what you're doing is incredible. And I think just in using your voice because you have one and using it for something like that is very. Thank you so much. Yes. And you know what I'm hearing and what you're saying that I think is for me the most important, what lands the most is I think that the biggest source of comfort that we can offer people is for them not to feel alone. Yes. And that what they're going through isn't unique, no matter what it is, even if it is unique, that there's someone else out there that has felt the anxiety or depression or even, you know, when it comes to suicidal ideation and all of these things that are such

epidemics, that it takes people saying, like, I know how you feel. and these are the things that I do to deal with that versus I've got it all together and life is perfect and I'm, you know, killing it. Yeah. And all that does is make people feel worse. You know what's so interesting as we're talking about this? I'm thinking about your movie, Lisa's Frankenstein, and your character, how, you know, you expect, like, the stepsister to be like the big. Yeah. Yeah.

But, like, how supportive was clearly, you know, Lisa's character. is dealing with, like, her own mental health stuff and everything and how your character is so supportive. And it's so beautiful how it's kind of paralleled to who I am. Yes. Yes. Actually, that's what the director was saying, Zelda Williams. Yeah. She said that she felt like I was perfect for the role because she had a lot of different people kind of read for the character. And eventually, she was saying that everybody kind of read it too mean or too, like, pretentious. And she said that, like, when I came in, I just had a very fresh take on it. I was very earnest and sweet. Oh, yeah. And when I read it, I thought right away that's what the director was looking for because just

like going through the whole script and everything, I realized that Taffy is actually Lisa's only true supporter, like someone who is always there to champion her and push her to become her most confident self. And I really love that about Taffy and I really love how she's kind of like breaking. that stereotype. Yeah. Love it. Love it. And it, yeah. Yeah, like, even, I don't know if I'm allowed to say some of the lines, but, like, even some of the lines where she's like, she could do pageants if she had, but, like, I feel like 90% of people probably came in and mean girls still. Yeah. Because it's the obvious. Because it's the obvious choice of, like, she could be so good if only she had. And you were just so truthful. Like, she would, she could do that. Yeah. She could absolutely do it. Yeah. It's funny because

Taffy sometimes she slips here and there where she says some pretty questionable things. But you know that's coming from a place of like, she grew up with her mom, Janet. And Janet is very opinionated. And, you know, she is who she is. So it slips out here and there. But it's not, it still doesn't come from a place that isn't genuine or doesn't mean well. You know what I mean? And your mom in that film is an icon.

I'm obsessed with her. I really am. I'm like, if anyone were to. asked me, like, who would you want to be like? She's like my goal. Really? I love her so much. I'm so obsessed with her too. Okay, good. I'm glad. When I met her, I was just holding everything in me to not like freak out and fan girl over her. But like, I grew up watching so many of her films. And I think she's such an amazing actor. And there were so many times where like she would be filming and I wasn't in the scene with them. So I would just observe from like the behind the scenes. And I was just so

amazed by her acting skills. Like, she does it so naturally, but also, like, she really embodies every character that she gets. She does. And her choices are always so unique and different. And that's the thing is that that whole movie to me was a bunch of opposite choices. Yeah. And I was like, woo, this is refreshing. Right? Like, none of it was on the nose. Yes. Except for the things that were supposed to be. Yeah. That were being commented to us. Yeah. It reminded me of films I grew up watching. Like, it really felt like Heather's. I was going to say, you're probably going to say Heather's. Yeah, which was my favorite movie of all times. But it stylistically and the tone and it was amazing. Was this Zelda's first? Yeah, this is her debut film. She killed it. I thought so. She did

amazing. Yeah. I'm so happy for her because she's such an amazing, sweet person and she's so talented and so quirky and so special. And I think like she really deserves everything that she's getting right now, like all the praises and everything from the film. And I'm just so excited because she just truly and genuinely loved the script and the film. And she really enjoyed the process of making it. And honestly, this is like the most fun I've ever personally had on a set. Oh, yeah. And Cole actually had a conversation with me on our last day. And I was like, why does this feel so special? I'm like, is this because it's my first Hollywood film? And he was like, you know, I've been doing this since I was six months old.

And he was like, it's not like this. He was like, this is actually a very special film. And that was, yeah, I got the chills too when he said that because I was just hoping that my first experience out of the Philippines would be something that I would really enjoy and like carry with me forever. And I can definitely say this film has made me fall in love with acting even more. I just really genuinely enjoyed everyone on the set and everyone, how everyone had like, everyone had like. like so much to contribute and how everybody was just genuinely in love with the story and wanted to put their best foot forward. But what a fun, I mean, fun. I say fun and there's like people, you know, being killed and things being chopped off. They're being killed. That was still pretty fun.

In a very fun way. We'll say in a very fun way. But yeah, it's just like such a cool, I can imagine like that experience. And how awesome for your first experience here, like in quote unquote, Hollywood, whatever, having that. And with those people and Diablo Cody, like, wrote it and stuff. I mean, it's just. And they're all so humble. I was, like, more than anything, I was so nervous coming in because I know how, like, successful and established each and every person is. And Diablo Cody is an Academy Award winner and everything. And I was expecting them to, like, have a lot of comments about my acting or, you know, just the way I am in general, because my work ethics may be different from everyone else's. So I was just, I was really nervous about that, but everybody was so

quick to make me feel comfortable and like I belong there. And so, yeah, it was definitely the best experience ever. You know, that reminds me, like when you were saying that, that they were all humble, something that we talk about a lot that comes back to the mental health is two things can exist at once. And I think that a lot of times when people are in successful, positions, it's harder to admit they're depressed or it's harder to admit they have mental health because you should be so grateful and you should be so, you know, humble and all of that. But it's like, you're allowed to be deeply grateful, humble, work hard, all those things and still struggle. And I think that that is something that isn't talked about enough. It's like you should only struggle if life

is really hard on you in X, Y, and C, right? So what is that like for you when you are, in one aspect, living a dream? Yeah. How is it internally? Like, what is that dialogue for you when you do have off days or feeling sad or lonely or whatever it is that you experience? I really love this question. It's just, it's because these past two years I made a huge like career transition

coming from the Philippines and becoming like a really recognizable face and everything and trying to like build a name for myself from scratch here in America. I got a lot of backlash for probably speaking my truth about certain things the way the industry is in the Philippines and wanting more for myself, not feeling contented and stuff like that. and also struggling with societal pressures. And I started talking about that a lot more in the past two years. And the reason why I got so much backlash is because before, like I said, I would always just, I would try to be as perfect as possible.

I would never talk about anything negative. I would never tell anybody about my hardships. I was actually told not to talk about anything too negative or talk about my real life and my struggles. And that was all in an effort to make me seem like the perfect girl or the dream girl. And, you know, that's not reality. That's not real. Nobody is perfect. Nobody can sustain just being happy, successful, busy, whatever it is all at once. Like, there are going to be days when you don't feel as confident. There are going to be days when you feel like you're not actually successful. There's going to be these where you feel like you're a complete failure. And like because people only see

what's presented to you on social media or in the news or whatever, people kind of think like the moment that you start speaking up about with anything negative, it's like it's almost like you're being ungrateful or like you don't even realize what privilege you have. And although I do recognize like the many privileges that I do have and how lucky I am to be in a position of being able to just travel the world and live out my dreams, I still do struggle with, you know, ordinary things that everybody else struggles with, insecurities, just not feeling like I'm enough for anyone. And I get scared to talk about it a lot, especially now, because when I did start becoming more honest, it's like that's when I started getting more hate.

So I feel like, I know. I'm really, I'm really. upset about that. Thank you. No, because, yeah, you're giving a gift to people, you know? Yeah. And so it felt like, it almost felt like my most honest self isn't worthy of this love and attention and appreciation from people. And so I kind of, I get very self-conscious now when talking about anything because it's like a constant battle between wanting to people please and just wanting to be myself. and wanting to share my experiences with people in hopes that they'll get inspired or learn a few things.

But then, yeah, I always just get torn apart and told that I'm ungrateful, but that's not the truth. Like, I really mean good by anyone and everything that I do. And I'm just constantly trying to make the world a better place in my own little way. You know what I mean? Yeah. Broad Ideas is supported by TalkSpace. Do you think seeing a therapist or psychiatrist would be helpful, but you don't have the time to actually find one and meet with them or afford them. Try Talkspace by doing everything online.

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including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and much more. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with TalkSexam. space when you go to talkspace.com slash ideas. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com slash ideas to get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's talkspace.com slash ideas. Broad Ideas is supported by paired. Okay. So my main relationship is with Olivia and Rob, clearly. And paired has actually brought up some really funny topics, quizzes, things for us to do with each other that we've been adding in our posts sometimes. Olivia brought up this burnt toast theory. Anyways, it was prompted by paired. We've been having

so much fun with it. We love playing games. We've done it on the podcast before. And this has made it so much more fun because it's given us new ideas. I feel like we've run every other game into the ground because we're such gamers, not the video kind. We're having so much fun with paired. It's simple and often hilarious. Each day you get a quiz to play or question to answer and you cannot see your partner's answer until you answer yourself. Whether you are just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it's time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using paired. Head to pared.com slash ideas to get a seven-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.

Just head to P-A-I-R-E-D dot com slash ideas to sign up today. Connect with your partner every day using paired. A happier relationship starts here. Yeah, no, I think that's, You know, a person like yourself who has the reach and the platform to do these things, but it is hard when you put things out there that are vulnerable or insecure or whatever they may be. They're just honest. And to have any feedback that everyone has their challenges and their own personal internal struggles and whatever.

So I think – I was wondering, do you actually – do you guys get that a lot? Because you guys talk a lot about, like, personal struggles, mental health and everything, all these like very heavy topics. Do you guys get a lot of backlash too? And what is that like? Because I just want to know what it's like here in America. It's funny. Because like we, I mean, I definitely have had my share of it. And then I can catch myself like trying to, I filter myself more sometimes, like especially here. And I'm like, oh God, like I said that. And this, I'm such a people pleaser too. Like I really suffer from that. So all of that. Recovering people pleaser.

She's in recovery. She's in recovery. Let's not affirm that. I did it yesterday, so whatever. She's like, I did it. You're doing it right now. Yeah, but I think, you know, it's hard because my mom always raised me with this quote. It's none of my business what other people think of me. And so I have to constantly remind myself of that.

It's so hard. Yeah, it is. It's also like when you're in front of the cameras, all the time. And when you become someone that is recognized amongst many other people, it's like you do want to know what people think about you. You do want to know if you're making certain people proud, if your work is registering well to people. And I don't know why I have like this unhealthy obsession with reading hate tweets about myself. Oh no. Yeah. Like my new management actually banned me from using Twitter. I'm glad. Yeah. Good. That's helpful.

at a young age, and I didn't know this growing up. I would read hate tweets, and then I thought that I would handle them very well. I was like, I'm not like everyone else. I don't get affected. It's not going. It's just funny to me. I was like, it just comes here and comes out, comes through here, comes out. And then I realized over time as I got older, what I was actually doing is I would read the hate tweets, and little by little, I would change myself for people. And I didn't even recognize that. I didn't know that I was conforming to what other people wanted from me. I thought that I was just improving myself. Right. No, it's a tricky line because we've gone through this. Like when we first started this podcast, I had nothing to do with being out there publicly. And when that started, I was getting really mean

things that people would say about deep insecurities I had. They were touching on things that were actual insecurities, right? And so Rachel's like, don't read it. So I continued to read. it. And I would start to extract different things that I found valuable. Because some of the things they were saying, I actually had an opportunity to learn from. I'm like, oh, okay, I don't need to mention this every single time. I get how that's annoying. And I can learn from that, right? And I felt like if I completely ignore it and I don't look at all, like, am I blocking myself from learning? Yeah. And so that's the tricky line of like, how do you learn, take feedback and not let it hurt your feelings when people are just straight up mean and ruthless? Yeah, that's true.

I don't know yet what's more valuable. But I do think, for me, what I go back to is who am I doing this for? Period. Right? And like just the other night I told Rachel, I got this. It makes me, oh, oh no. It makes me want to cry. But I got this like DM from someone that was in the hospital. And she just said, because I talk a lot about having a kid with special needs. And she just said, I didn't know who to turn to, but I had heard you talk to your son. And I just, we just got diagnosed with this thing. And knowing. And knowing. I had you to reach out to, even though I don't know you, brought me peace in the hospital. And I'm like, okay, that's who I'm doing this for. It's not the guy that's like, I hate Olivia's voice. You know what I mean? I still hung up on that one.

But that's not who we're doing it for. And so to me, I feel like that's the most valuable part if you go to psychology. It's like, what is my intention behind my work? Yeah. And like, am I doing it to be loved? or am I doing it to affect change? Because you can't do both at the same time. I really love what you just said.

I got to remember that one. Yeah. Right? Because that's what they say, the stars reflect light. And so it's like if you're reflecting what's true, what's honest, what's light, what's valuable, like that's going to reflect in other people's lives. And that's probably who you're doing it for. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Because like I started also at a really young age where I didn't know what or who I was doing it for. Like I said earlier, it was coming from a place of need where I just, I don't know why at a young age. I was like, I want to help out my family financially. And so I was doing it for them. But then as you get older, it becomes less and less about that. You get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. And you get so caught up in wanting to succeed.

And then you kind of forget along the way. who or what it is that you exactly that you're doing all of this for. And that's actually where my mental health problem started coming up because I feel like I didn't put a lot of purpose and intention into building this career of mine when I first started because I was a kid, you know. I didn't really know. I was just having fun. I was just having fun helping out. And then when I started suffering mentally, it was like, I think it was a combination of getting a lot of feedback from fans, from industry people. And then also there was this side of me that was like, I'm actually over the industry. I'm actually over this career. I'm done. I'm so tired of it already.

There's something else I want to do. I want to go to college. I want to pursue a psychology career. And then I think along the way, when I did realize that I'm here already, like there's no turning back anymore. I have this platform. People recognize me. What do I do with it? And then that's when I just, I kind of decided that at all times I'm just going to be honest and as honest and as authentic as I can be, not only for myself, but for the people watching me because whether they like me or not, at least what they're seeing is my most authentic self and me trying my best to contribute something to society in a positive way. And you said you have how many siblings? I have 10. What? Holy smokes show.

I have a lot, yeah. Wait, from the same? I have one full brother and then all of them are half. Got it. But, like, all of them feel like full siblings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have the same because I have halves, but they're my siblings. Yeah, totally.

So I always say that I was, like, put on this earth to be an older sister, and I stand by that. Yeah. The youngest one is still in my stepmom's stomach, so. Oh, my God. I'm 26. Are they in the Philippines? So I have four siblings in the Philippines, and the rest of them are here in America. Oh, my gosh.

Wow. Well, I was going to say, because you have so many siblings and you're the oldest. Yeah. And that's also like just goes to like, you know, an example and how you're – it seems like you take all of that in and you take it seriously and you do want to make an impact. I do. And that you have so many siblings that you're emulating that for. And I think that's so cool. And I wonder if that like also plays into where it stemmed from because I don't know, did you feel that being the oldest that you kind of had to pave the way?

Growing up, I didn't really feel like I had to pave the way per se for them. It was more like I was just doing what I wanted, what I had to do because I wanted them, I wanted to give them a life that I didn't grow up having, kind of. I didn't think of it too seriously. It was more on a superficial level, I would say. I wanted, I wanted all of us to live in one house together. That was my ultimate dream actually at the time. I was like, I'm going to buy a home. in America. I'm all just going to live there. And then as I got older and older, that dream started getting further and further away from me. Obviously, like, all my other siblings started getting older, too, started having lives of their own. And that's actually where my mental health issues started, too, because I was like, this was my dream. This was the reason why I started working, and now it's not possible anymore. Like, my full sibling, his name is Justin, he has two babies now. So whether I like it or not, he's not going to live in a house. And he's young. You're with two babies.

Yes. It's like whether I like it or not, he's not going to live in a house with me and the rest of our siblings anymore. Yeah. And then I have a younger sister now who's also a mom. And so it's like, yeah, my dream is no longer possible, but now I have new dreams for all of us. And I just, I'm constantly trying to encourage them to just be their best selves. It's also weird because we didn't all grow up together. And a lot of my siblings that are here in America, they only see what they.

whatever is on social media or whatever. Like we talk from time to time, but they're not seeing what my life is like on a day-to-day basis. And I feel like the more and more they see me on social media or in the news, it's like the more and more distant they've become with me. And it stems from a place of like they feel like they're not probably as successful. I've had this conversation with a few of them. Like they feel like they're not as successful as me or they feel kind of pressure to like live up to the same expectation. And I feel really bad, honestly, because that's not what I was trying to do. Of course not. Yeah, but at times I feel like I've created that distance between us. Yes. And it is also something that triggers a lot of people's material.

You know, when someone gets successful in any right, if someone is struggling with their own capabilities or their own goals and dreams. And when they watch them being realized in other people, oftentimes it triggers their own material. And you see this all the time. It's like Jay-Z says. What? Quote him. He says the castle got bigger and the circle got smaller. Right? And sometimes she just like throws these things out. I know. It's so random. You know? There's just like stored in. It's true. But it's true. It is true. It is so true.

And then dynamics change when you get successful too. And it's like people are starting to think you think you're better when you're like, no, I was just working. Yeah. It doesn't mean that I love you less because you're not doing this. Yeah. Right? So I think it's multi-layered, especially in family dynamics. It is.

It is. And especially, and I feel like a broken family dynamic because we're all separated, all living our own lives. And despite that, like I still like to think that we're one big family. But like I said, everyone has their own lives now and like we're all just watching each other from afar and all we can do is like love and support on each other. But sometimes I feel like it's hard for them because we can't relate to each other. It's just like we can't have conversations where it doesn't feel like I'm showing off or it doesn't feel like I'm acting like I know more than them. Yeah. Sometimes I try to act like that, though, because I'm the older sister. I'm trying to teach you. I'm trying to guide you. And sometimes I feel like they take that kind of wrong. It feels like I feel like I'm better than them. I'm better than everyone else. And that's not it. I genuinely love and care for my siblings. So I want the best for them. And I'm just sharing life and experiences. Yeah, for sure. I would imagine that's, yeah, I mean, all of it. Like family dynamic siblings, there's always some of you. There's like so much.

And it's like going back to Lisa Frankenstein too, that's the dynamic that Lisa and Taffy has. Because I think Taffy is like the complete opposite of Lisa. Lisa is like kind of an outcast misunderstood is going through a lot. And she's not really comfortable with opening up about everything that she's dealing with. While Taffy is like just this bubbly outgoing girl who's super confident, her only problem is her standing back tuck and everything. And, like, she's constantly trying to be there for Lisa. She wants to be Lisa's sister. She wants to make Lisa feel like she's included in everything.

But because Lisa kind of just decided, like, that Taffy's too good for her or Taffy is so different from her. She thinks that Taffy's mean or wrong or whatever. So that's how I relate to Taffy. Well, it's true. That happens so much. It happens, too, with the way people look even. Just the way they look, people will judge and be like, oh, okay, well, that person's this way because they're pretty or because they have money. Well, it's the same thing, like, seeing your character in her cheerleading uniform just quickly, like, in the trailer, you're like, oh, that's like the bitchy step sister.

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But I think it's so cool. And like you said before, how you played against that. And I think that because you said it was such a special experience. Yeah. That definitely shows on the screen. And it's like that lightning in a bottle thing. And I remember it was like my first feature I read it was like the most fun I've ever had on a set.

It was the most special thing. And you'll never have something like that per se. There'll be other special experiences. Obviously, like you're well aware. You've worked for so long. But just how special that is. Yeah. It really shows.

And I think what made it extra special too is because I'm coming into America kind of as a rookie all over again. It's like I'm starting from scratch, but this time I have so much more experience and knowledge of like just how my job works, how this industry works. And how I was able to make Lisa Frankenstein like more special for me is like I was fully present and in the moment just enjoying it. I wasn't busy thinking about doing a good job. Obviously, I was trying hard. I was trying really hard. I wanted to succeed. Yes. But more than anything, I was just praying that this would be a great experience for me because I needed that. I needed to fall in love with acting again.

Where did you guys shoot it? New Orleans. Oh, my God. Of course it was like an incredible thing. Yeah. What a cool place. It was such a funky place. Yeah. It's Zelda and Cole's favorite place apparently in America. So they had fun kind of touring us around and showing us like some cool spots. We did escape rooms. That's fun. Oh, you guys. had fun together. I think that's so awesome. So when is the release gate? It's on February 9th here in America and I'm really excited because we're doing the premiere actually on the 5th. So that will be my first time watching the movie with like a lot of other people and seeing their reaction. So I'm so excited because Zelda said that they've been testing for a while now and everybody

loves my character and I'm just so excited to actually see and hear that coming from people themselves. Yeah. She's so lovable. She is. She's so lovable from the moment you hit the screen. You're just like, yes to her. Yeah. Thank you. I really fell in love with the character, too.

She's just, she's a sweetheart. Well, you're a sweetheart. You are, I want more time with you. I wish we weren't out of time. I know, ever. And we're like, yeah, we have so much more to get in to. We have so much more to cover. You're going to have to come back.

Yes, this is Frankenstein. Super excited about it. Excited for you. This is amazing. What an awesome film to do and debut here. Thank you. You guys are so easy to talk to. It didn't feel like, how long has this been? 45 minutes. It feels like it's been like 10 minutes. Oh, good. Yeah. You're so easy to talk. You're so easy to talk to and beautiful. Yes. You guys are too.

You wish you really are a good person. All the success and everything that you've had and will have. And I can't wait for your movie to come out. I'm so excited. Thank you. Thank you for being here. I loved being here. Thank you so much. Broad Ideas is supported by Green Chef. Make this year's resolutions a breeze. Build healthy habits the easy way in 2024 with nutritious recipes from the number one meal kit for clean eating. Green Chef offers unique, farm fresh ingredients, organic whole fruits and veggies, and premium proteins.

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That's greenchef.com slash 60 Broad and code 60 Broad. Green Chef, the number one meal kit for eating well. All right. Well, I have something I'd like to talk about. Okay. I had a sweet tooth. and Rachel brought in a bowl of candy and she brought in

Reese's peanut buttercups and butterfinger and I thought it's too soft I need something with a crunch and I was just about to eat it I did eat it Butterfingers are fairly crunchy but it's not the crunchy

that I was looking for and when I put one in my mouth and from the other room she goes wait I'm bringing more and then she brought in the chocolate with the nuts like I would want And I felt better. You know what?

It went through my head. I was like, she loves chocolate nuts. And it's the chocolate fruit she doesn't like. And I have chocolate nuts. So I'm going to bring those in. And you were right. And it made me feel better. We spend a lot of time together.

But it's that crunch I was looking for. Yeah, you needed the nut crunch. And from the other room, she's like, wait, it's more. Do you know what I would have eaten from that bowl? The butterfinger. The Risa Rhesus. There's two. Two auctions and you guessed wrong first.

I would go Butterfinger and I did actually. Oh, you know what's really cute? What? Is that my mom, because Jeff likes those peanut butter, what are they called? What? Peanut butter cups. Peanut butter cups. Oh my gosh.

So she brings them every time she comes over, she brings big ones and she hides them in different places for him. To find me. For Jeff? Wait, but he knows about it? Or does he just like discover them randomly and doesn't know where they come from? He knows that it's my first. That it's my mom doing it. But she does it.

Open like a sock drawer and like she'll have left him or he'll open another thing. Yeah. That is really cute. I don't think I would like if my mother-in-law was rummaging through our stuff and putting candy in place. But if it was your favorite. She's just going in a sock drawer. What do you have in your sock drawer? Yeah.

I don't have people to see. Lots of stuff in my sock drawers. Like what? Socks. Yeah. Like socks. Yeah, no, he's totally comfortable with it. He does.

He must love that. He loves it. Yeah. Yeah, it's something you would do. It is something I would do. I'm like, who could I do that? Your people aren't allowed in our bedroom. What?

What do you mean? What do you mean? You're like, you're not allowed in my bedroom? Yeah, what do you mean? People that come to our house, guess them come in our bedroom. That's weird. But what about when you redid your house, you would show people what you did? For like a second.

No one ever kicks it. No one just comes over and like, let's go hang out on your bed. No. We do. Last week. We were all. All on your bed. Yeah.

There was five girls? Five of us? Well, that's different with like girlfriends. If it's like in-laws over, they're not coming in our bedroom. My mom sleeps in my bed. With them. With us. Not with us.

She slept in my bed last night. That's because you sleep in the kids' rooms. I slept in my bed with my mom and Jeff slept with the kids. She babysat last night. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. He does, like, other people.

People put together his drawers. Like, Caitlin knows more about how to organize. She knows all the clothes he has more than he does. Yeah, everybody's touching his shit. Yeah, I like my stuff. No kidding. Not touched. Mr. Itemized Plan organizer.

I had a little brother that would go in my room and take stuff all the time. It's triggering. It sounds a lot of my space. How do you feel, this is a really genuine question. Because I've thought this. It gets a little weird. How do you feel about people doing your laundry and touching your underwear? I don't care about that.

Our nanny will do it sometimes. And that doesn't make you feel weird. No. Does it make you feel weird? When Jeff's dad like chips in is like folding my underwear. Like it's weird. That's a gender thing though. That's your dad.

It's like your father-in-law. Yeah, but also like my brother will do the laundry. I like the way my brother does it because he'll just like leave the underwear in like a pile. He doesn't like fold your underwear. underwear. But I do fold my underwear. You do? You don't? No. You just put them in the drawer? Yeah. Well, because you wear full butt underwear. I could see folding full by it. I wear both. You do wear both, but like... I fold my G-stream. Oh, yeah, that's what I was going to say? You fold your G-string? You just wear dental floss, so you're just getting that out of the container.

I swear to God. You don't fold your underwear, you just shove them in the drawer? Yeah, well, they're all just in a drawer. Yeah, mine are all like in little... Definitely not. If my dad was here doing laundry, it'd be weird if he was folding Natalie's underwear. I agree. But you have a woman folding your underwear? She's not, actually. But she'll, like, sometimes move it from the washer to the dryer if she's doing the kid's laundry.

Oh, she doesn't fold your underwear. I also fold, you'll be surprised to know this. I have a very particular way of folding. Oh, shocking. I close. How do you fold your underwear? It goes in half, and then in thirds. Wow.

Let's see. Demonstrate for us. Do you fold your laundry in any particular way? I do. I fold my laundry in a particular way. Yeah, and fits in the drawer? Yeah. I'm not good at folding.

I will say that. I worked at Blooming Deals for two days once. And I learned for two days. I did. And then after two days, I was like, I don't like. I don't ever want a job again. I can't do this. working thing.

I need to go find a doctor to marry. Shut up. No. It was hard work, actually. But I learned how to fold a shirt. Did you have one of the like folding trays? Oh my God, you guys, this is so boring. This is the most exciting conversation we've had on the show in a while.

There's probably a lot of people out there right now that are folding their laundry listening to this. And I go in half sleeves, then three. Oh, my God. I do. Two sleeves in like a fifth, an each son. Oh, a fifth. Like a little bit.

You want to crease like a little bit with the sleeves. Then in half, then in half. I also, with the kids, I do the roll up method. I do. I have fucked with the roll-up method. Yeah, it's a method, dude. Do you even know about it? Can we stop this folding, this fucking laundry shit?

How do you fold your socks? Oh my God! I don't want to talk about holding. Do you get rid of a sock if it doesn't have a match? No, I don't. There's hope that they will find out of the soap. You've got like a corner of the drawer that has the solo ones. Yeah, where do they go?

Well, but then you just wait for... You do, but when they never come. I know like I'm going to have a panic attack. No, but okay, last folding. How do you do your socks? Oh, my God. Do you do the roll and then the inside out? So it's in like a little ball?

I do. Do you? Yeah. Yeah. You? I do. Do you? This is his favorite goal? conversation all time.

He's come to life. We found it. I've never heard Rob Talk more. Oh, my God. It is interesting because I had my friend, she does, she has a home organizing company, and she came over and was helping me put stuff away. And the way she did it was very different than what I do. And I was like, oh, she like, studies this, you know?

You got to know how tips that you learned? I want to die! I will tell you certain things that are such big game changers that I would have never known about are like little things like in the cupboards, like having things on lazy suses. Those are a game changer. And then she caught, they have these like clear plastic things that go in between sweaters to keep them separated from the other ones.

It's like, whoa, I live, that's like department store level organization. Rachel's reading the books right now. What's so triggering? When was the first time you felt this? Let's go back to that child. How many times do you wear something before you consider it dirty? Once. Not jeans, though.

Jeans many times. Sheans like weeks. Once on everything else? Kind of. It depends on what it is. feel like an undershirt? An undershirt? What is it?

It's 1950? I'm wearing an undershirt. I hate you guys so much today. So much. I actually wear undershirts. Yeah. Are the undershirt always one use? No, like a shirt.

Of course you wear a shirt under your sweater. But the way you're talking, it's like my pop-pop with like his undershirt that he wore every single day of his life. This undershirt. This undershirt. What is going on? Are you not wearing? an undershirt right now?

No, I have a shirt on, a top that does not require an undershirt. It has... Show us what's under it. Yeah, we're... Go over to YouTube, Rachel's going to show us. Show us...

Her undershirt. What's under that? Okay, well, what do you want to talk about, Rachel? I think you made a list. No, I'm done. I'm so... We can keep carrying this thing in this show if you need us to.

Go ahead. About hangers? That's a great question. I've switched online to the same color. I like how, by the way, time out. You're like, this post has to be. Killer. Let's suck laundry and close organization.

I mean, our audience is going to love this. They get it. I know. My mom listens to a podcast about organizing. Does she really? Is it this one? I mean, hopefully she'll start listening this again now that we're adding this content into the mix.

Did she stop? No, she just listens to it so much that she's run out. If we were out every day, she would listen. She'd be into it. Hangers, great question. Certain sweaters can't go in hangers, right? But do you do

all uniform hangers? Like, all my hangers are the same color and texture. I wish I did. But most of the stuff that hangs goes to the bike cleaning. I would rather be in my MRI right now. So I'm not going to change all of the hangers.

I changed all the hangers. Every time they come from the dry cleaners? I don't do that much dry cleaning. Because I don't wear that much that goes to the dry cleaning. Are all your hangers the same? Do you get velvet or do you get plastic? I do wood. Oh, you do wood for all your clothes.

What does that happen? But I don't like the... velvet hangers. When you touch it, that feeling. So do you go plastic? I have a variety. What do you buy? I don't know.

I haven't bought hangers in a while. I don't have to go look. You don't know. There's a lot of plastic. Half wood, half wire from the dry cleaner. Wire. Oh. Guys.

Well, this podcast has been fun. We're not done. She's quitting. We haven't even started. She's quitting. No, I mean this podcast is done. Oh, you're done. Oh, you're done.

But let me tell you something. If I were to be like, what kind of Tupperware do you buy? This bitch would jump at the chance to talk about it. It just almost started going. Yeah, that's almost worse. I feel like there's much less to talk about with Tupperware. And then there is folding and storing clothes. She was like storing edible food.

I have something to talk about. Okay? Yeah. Tell me if this is normal or like if you guys can relate to this or if this is attributed to anxiety. I don't know. Fame. Yeah, I was supposed to say it. Fame and riches.

I'm like hot. Like I'm getting really annoyed. It's kind of fun. I know. See, this is my whole life. Okay. My buttons get pushed so easily and people who know how to do it, they'd love to do it. it's so fucking right.

I don't think I fall in that category, though. A thousand percent. You are the worst. Yeah. Anyways, what I want to say is, if I think of every scenario in my head of like a certain thing, then that thing can't happen. And if it's the one thing happens that I didn't think of, I'm like, oh, that happened because I didn't already think of it.

It's like a superstition thing? Yeah. Like, I'm going to take this airplane, okay, it could be delayed. It could be canceled. we could get derailed and like go have to go to a different land in a different location, then you have to go to a hotel, and then you spend the night, then you go back, and then you take the other plane, then or, or, anyway, like think of all the scenarios that could happen. I'm just giving me an example of an airplane, right?

And so if I get on the plane, I'm like, okay, I know all of those can't happen because I already thought those things, right? And then sometimes the one thing that happens is the one thing I didn't think. think of. This is called OCD. Yeah. I think it's, it's, it is. Yeah. It's OCD. Do you ever think like, like, can be on time, I just land there and get my bag, get to the phone? Yeah, no, I think of every, that's just a stupid example, right?

And then what that happens, your mind is. Give me a real example that's happened recently. Or like, we're going to go to this party and, I don't know, that would be more. No. Is it ever positive? No. No. Never.

Ever. It's like, okay, we could get a cold because of this or this pink eye could happen or the stomach bug or this, this, this, or this. So you're just thinking of all the bad things that could happen? Yes, to prevent them from happening. So if I thought of them, they're not going to happen. That's insane. Yeah, that's, I think that's OCD. Yeah. Yeah. Can you relate at all? No. No. Interesting. So I don't, I try and not, I don't do that every time. I'm going somewhere here. No. It's, you're really interested. interesting because you really are.

Because there's a level of you that's overthinking and a massive level that's under-thinking at the same time. You're overthinking about things that you don't have control over and probably don't need to worry about. Right. And then not overthinking about things that are in your control of. Right. Require attention. Yes.

Okay. It's just the truth. Oh, man. Yeah. No, but it's very common. Like, look, there's so many times I have this conversation where I'm like, all right, let's change it. Most people play the negative what-if game, right? And so it takes like a concerted effort to be like, all right, let's flip that around and play the positive what-if game.

What if we get there and the plane's on time and what if we land early and what if it's a like? Like most humans would have to make a lot of effort to think like that. Mm-hmm. But. You're just like self-sabotaging, too. But it's also the superstition in it, which is weird because you're the one who always says, like your mom is like anti-superstition. Like, I remember.

I'm not like it with like classic superstitious stuff. I can relate to the superstitious part. Like there's things. Like you'll walk under a ladder and you're like, whatever. No. Yeah, I don't care about that. But if it's like, I want something good to happen, I have to pretend like it's not going to happen until it happens. Otherwise, if I get like excited about it or my hopes up about it, that to me like, okay, that's not going to happen anymore.

If I go like talk about it or anything like that. But what about the positive visualization and manifestation? I can still do that. I can still do that internally and like plan for it, but I'm not going to go, like, show outward excitement for it because then it just doesn't happen. Do you ever show outward excitement for things that do you happen? No, superstitious. Are you afraid that, like, if you, you know, I think that most people, too, are always bracing

themselves for disappointment? Yeah. Which is so sad. I do it all the time in different ways. It's like, I do that a lot with Shepard, where I'm like preparing myself to hear the worst information all the time so that when I do get a little bit of good information, I'm like shocked or surprised. Because I've planned to hear all the bad things so that I can prepare myself for what I'm in here. So I feel like in that sense I do that.

But there's no superstition with it. But it softens if it doesn't happen. like you don't, you minimize disappointment. Yeah, but do you? Because you're still going to feel disappointed. No, and then when it happens, I'm like more elated about it. Because it was something I wasn't expecting. Yeah, but I feel like when you prepare yourself to be, let's say, disappointed,

like I'm not going to hear back on that thing. It's fine. And you do the whole disappointment thing. And then you end up not hearing back. So then you got disappointed twice. I think it's evolved into less that and more like me obsessing over this isn't going to change whether it happens or not. So I'm just going to leave it there, continue as if this isn't a thing. And then if it happens great and if it doesn't, doesn't.

Is that how you felt when you first met us? Exactly. The nine months it took for you to start the show. I used to have to do that when I was. dating, do you? It took about nine months. Did you? What?

Ever have to do that dating? It's like you get excited and you're like, don't get excited. Like this doesn't mean this is your person. Yeah, like let it happen. Brace yourself. No, see, it's the opposite for me when it comes to men. What do you mean? I'm totally joking.

They just all come to her and she's not a disappointment. No, I'm just making a joke. No, I think it's always, I don't know. I'm trying to think of other ways where it shows up, you know? and if it's like catastrophizing. So you're getting an MRI today. Oh, I'm fine. It's her foot.

It's my foot. Even though I've done a full body, like my brain, like all that, and I was still fine. I am weird. She's so weird. Right? Yeah. Do you see what I mean by you being weird? And I'm not scared of flying at all.

That's not why I think of all these things. It's more of like the inconvenience of like, am I not going to get home? Or are we not going to be able to, it has nothing to do with like being scared to fly. You're more concerned about are we going to be back Saturday so Breyer can go to so-and-so's birthday. Yeah, literally. And if we don't, then, yeah. Then it's the end of the world if she misses the birthday.

No, but I, you know. No, but she's, that's like what drives her thinking. Yeah, it's my kid. Always. It's true. And that's why I'll be like, oh, if this happened. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but nothing about me, like, you know. Well, you're putting a lot of weight on like things always being perfect for her, which I think. grades on you of like... No, but I do the thing too where if she's going to be disappointed, you know, we talk about it. And it's like, I understand if you feel this way, but it's also life, you know? It's that thing about preparing them for, like, the weather. Yes. Can you explain that?

Sheielding them from the weather, like giving them the rain boots and the raincoat. And then, like, they have to experience it instead of just, you know, blocking the weather from them. giving them the skills and the tools. And I'm a big believer in that. But so it's not like I'm... But you are following her with a umbrella and being here. But she has never felt a raindrop. Exactly.

No, but I think it's important, you know. But I do... Her happiness... Just move her to a state where it doesn't rain. Her happiness and all of that, it all comes first. I never come first. How do you feel about happiness? You got issue day.

Yeah. I was talking to a friend last night. We were driving. I was like, so-and-so was saying that they're not happy doing this or they're not happy doing that. And she goes, happy. Who's happy? And then she's like, it's not a time to be happy. And it was just so funny and fun to hear.

And I personally think people put too much attention on happiness. And it's just one feeling you feel in a day. Yeah, your goal shouldn't be to be happy all the time. Yeah, I agree. I think it's an unrealistic. Right. Yeah. It's definitely unrealistic.

And that's boring if you're just happy all the time. Have you tried it? I've been super grumpy lately. I'm aware. Crunchy. My brother. Crunch rap supreme. I'm crunchy.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. But I talk about it. Thank God you don't take it out on me. I don't take it out on anybody. Mm-hmm. To their face.

I'm just kidding. Well. I really don't. Well. Who? Sometimes you and I are very similar and we can take it out on our moms. I haven't done that. On Rob.

Sure. It's very easy. I don't. No, I don't take it out on you. I don't. Oh, my God. Yeah. I do not.

So that is another thing. I think that your mom. My mom, I want to know who's yours. So Jeff always- Is your low-hanging fruit? Well, no, it's like, the way Jeff says it is like, he's like, you're my landing. You're my lightning landing.

Like, lightning needs a place to land. So if he's stressed, if he's wherever, I'm where it lands, right? We all have that in our life. It's like, who's your landing? Where does it come out for you? Probably Natalie. Do you just make it out on her? No.

I think I try not to, like, show too much stress or emotion. Shocking. Why? It's not helpful. Like, me being visibly stressed isn't going to make me less stressed. I'll go ride the pelton for an hour instead. Do you collect resentments, though, if you don't express your emotions and your feelings? No, if it's going to be a resentment, I can express it.

But I feel like I have a decent handle on managing my emotions and stress. Hmm. Hmm. Interesting. Who's your landing? It's your mom, right? Is it anyone else? Me?

Leah. Sometimes Leah. Sometimes Leah. Oh, poor Leah. Not really, though. No, but I know. You mean. Yeah. You too. Leah, no. I don't think so.

Deanna. Oh, Diana. Yeah. There's certain people that you feel like the safest, like, I don't know what it is. Yeah. It's not about safe, but they get the, like, you know. The brunt. My brother.

One thousand percent is my landing. He's for me, too. And so is my dog sometimes. Well, strawberries. Is it kicking her? No. I've never kicked her. Yeller?

No, it's just internally where it's like I'll be annoyed about something else. And then I'll walk by her and just be like, strawberry. And it's like, she's not laying there. Oh, you suck. No, I'm just kidding. Huh. All right. That's enough of me.

I can't believe you guys never think about that. the scenarios, though. It's interesting to me. It's interesting to us that you do. Correct. Really? Oh, yeah. I don't, yeah. I wonder how many people listening can relate. Like, there's zero. It's like, no one's ever done it once.

You make, like, a map of all the different outcomes in your brain? I don't do it a lot or often, I want to say. Is it just when you're stressed? Something happened the other day, and I thought, oh, my God, I just did that thing and I don't do it a lot, but that's something to talk about because I'm curious what the people do. I got a question to answer. Oh, let's

do it. I don't fully understand this one, so we'll get through it together. Oh, boy. Joy. I am a 24-year-old female. My mother-in-law won't let me go because I'm pregnant with my deceased boyfriend baby. Won't let her go where? We'll see. How do I get her to let me go?

Oh. Won't let me go. I was with my boyfriend for three years. he introduced me to Mill and Phil. I'm going to assume that's mother-in-law, father-in-law, but it's a boyfriend. And we got on fine. I grew really close to them. Me and my boyfriend, 24, moved in together.

He was the sweetest, most loving person ever, and I miss him every day. He passed away in an accident eight months ago. He proposed to me a week before the accident. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time. I only found out weeks later after he had passed on. Wow. I was excited and scared. He was meant to be here with me and our son, and I told my in-laws and they were happy.

My mother-in-law especially, she was there for all my baby appointments, and I'm very grateful she's been a big support. But then my parents called a check-up on me, and I missed them so much, and I got homesick, so I flew back home to my home country to be with my parents, and I just didn't want to go back. I decided I want to stay in my home country, so I flew back and decided to tell my in-laws in person that I've decided to move back. home for good. My father-in-law was quiet. My mother-in-law started crying and telling me I can't do this, that I'm taking a part of her son away from her. I told her I will come back and visit, and they are more than welcome to come visit me any time. She got really upset, and after all we did for you, this is how you're going to treat us and take away our only grandson. I was shocked and started crying and telling her I was grateful for what they did for me. Father-in-law had to take her out of the

room, you came back and apologized and said, let her get used to the idea. I left and came back to my apartment. My mother-in-law left a long voicemail telling me I'm selfish if I do this and I can't do this to them. I tried ringing her back, but she won't take my calls. I'm feeling really guilty and starting to feel depressed. I want to go home, but I don't want to keep hurting my in-laws. How do I get them to let me go without hurting her further? Well, that's a grieving mother you're dealing with. So that clearly is, you know, she's going to go to her home country and eventually, like, time, going to have to get used to it, visit back and forth. It's not going to be ideal for the mother-in-law, and that's so sad because, like, her son passed, and that's his son. But that's

a grieving mother, so of course she's going to react like that. But I think she needs to do what's best for her and the baby. Yeah, for the baby. Right? Yeah, of course. She's got to go home. And if it's going to be helpful for her and she's going to get the sport, she needs to go home. Yeah. She needs to, I mean, she needs to give the mother-in-law some space and some time with it. Yeah.

And assure her that, like, she can still be part of the baby's life. Right. But in this capacity. Yeah. I mean, she's going to have to accept that the woman's not going to be happy about it because it's the only thing she has left of her son, I'm sure. And, you know, there's a shitty situation. That's really a shitty situation.

It's awful. Very sad. But, like, there's no making, that's the thing is that you got to just, like, kind of allow people to feel the way they feel. And, like you said, hold space, give it time, let it pass. Mm-hmm. And go home to your country. Go home. I think we did that.

I think I'm going to go home now. I think we all go home. Especially you. I'm going to go get my MRI, guys. I know everyone's been anticipating the results for my foot. They can't wait. They can't wait. They can't wait to hear about your next laundry adventures.

Yeah, post in the comments. Yeah, we'll show you. I like to fold shirts, underwear, socks. Let's prove Rachel wrong. People have preferences. Yeah, that people want to know. Of course they have preferences. I have preferences.

I'd like to know if you use, like, laundry detergent that still smells really good, or if you do all the, like, clean and free of all the things. I don't like the smell of perfumed. Well, that's not true. Oh, my God, I love Tide. Tide. But I can't use it because of all the... I use Tide-free.

We've got the washer or, like, sheet things. The sheets, do you like them? Yeah. Yeah. See, but if somebody washes in a certain detergent, it's, like, the smell thing again and then you want to like yeah if it's too strong yeah you don't want all your clothes to be smelling like laundry detergent that used to be my favorite thing in the world and i had to let it go i liked it downy oh yeah i used to like really like it when i had a crush

on a guy in like high school yeah and they had a smell to their detergent smell to their it's like the deodorant thing and it made me feel like they were loved oh like someone washed their shirts. Aw. You know? The crisp white teacher. Yeah, they like, someone loves them. Now nobody's love.

I smell them. I'm like, nobody loves you. Oh, boy. All right, I gotta go. Okay. Okay. Thanks, everybody. Goodbye.

That was a head gum podcast.