Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Lucy Hale on Panty-Droppers, Mental Health, and Chakras

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Actress, singer, and television personality Lucy Hale is today’s guest. Lucy, Rachel and Olivia discuss deal breakers and “panty-droppers”, Pretty Little Liars, chakra and how to be more direct with other women. The broads also debate morning sex vs. night sex, mental health and whether it’s OK to marry the hot widower of your dead friend. Broad Ideas is supported by Rocket Money. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/IDEAS. Broad Ideas is supported by Magic Spoon. Go to magicspoon.com/IDEAS to grab a variety pack and try it today, using promo code IDEAS for $5 off.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

Hey. Oh, he said hey to me. Is it a new year? It is a new year. It's a new Rob. Is it a new Lou? No. Oh, well, fuck you.

My mother's resolution is to not change. That's the New Lou. The New Lou, hey. Here, guys. It does sound like a truck driver name. Lou. L-O-U. That was my name when I was in truck

and I worked at the deli. And I was a lunch meet, Lou. Lunch meet Lou. That's cute. Josh wrote it, I was Lou. And I said, hey, give me the Capricola. I like that both your nicknames are gender neutral. Or gender, sorry.

Ray and Lou. Gender neutral names, Ray and Lou. Yeah. That's true. And you're Rob. Really original. Yeah. I am kind of obsessed with our guest today.

She's the cutest thing in the plant. I mean, she's gorgeous inside and out. Rachel says that because she gets told that she looks a lot like her. Yeah, totally. So she's the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life. Reminds me of someone. Reminds me. Olivia.

I actually said that. You said she reminds you of me and you put together. Like if we had a baby. Yeah. Actually, you're going to hear it because it's coming up. So Lucy Hale. She is a musician, an actress. Just a star extraordinaire.

A pretty little liar. She's a pretty little liar. Yes, she rose to fame on pretty little liars. She was also on the O.C. Back in the day. She played Marissa's sister. No, she played Marissa's sister, Caitlin. When she was at boarding school, she played her roommate.

She has a new film that is now available to rent. The storied life of A.J. Fickory. Christina Hendrix is in it. Lucy's in it. Canals in it. I mean Lucy's in it. Especially Lucy's in it. I love Lucy.

And she loves me. Okay, let's bring Lucy on. Sometimes when the one's sick inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside. To join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids. Kids and things will talk about chicks and tampon strings.

We'll talk about boys. Because people die. You guys, I already stink. I'm trying to use natural deodorant. And it's awful. You know, salt and stone, have you tried that one? No. I mean, you still, at like 30 minutes later, you're drenched, but it smells like Santall.

They sell it at Arawon and Whole Foods. Oh, really? It's good. Okay. But it smells good, but you sweat. A bit like, yeah. I'm fine sweating. I don't want to stink.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I smell. Yeah. No, no. That's why you're in the corner, Olivia. That's why I'm over here.

Well, my septum is messed up, so I can't smell anything anyway. Good. So I smell like menthol and. Yeah. That must really work in your favorite. My whole thing is like breath, like on a date and you're like, what if they have bad breath? It's the one thing. I cannot unsmell.

So you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I can deal with body odor. I can deal with body odor. I can deal with anything. Same. The breath. I hear you.

Because I feel like, yeah, no, it's just something. It's just the one thing. Yeah. I once broke up a guy because he, he, I kissed him and it tasted like salami. Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because he was eating salami? No.

No, dude. If he was eating salami and it tasted like salami and smell like salami, that'd be rational, right? Yeah, that'd be like, okay. You ate onions, you smell like onions. Yeah, right, right, right. There was no salami. But this is what I'm saying. I'm like, you're unaware. So what other things are you unaware about? Oh, God. If you're unaware of your bad breath, like, this is a whole, there's a laundry list of things you might not also be aware of. Right. Right. And I feel like that's true with a lot of people because like people will talk behind their back and like, no they have bad breath. But how do they not know? Or like if they do know, why do you not always do something about it. Yeah. I mean, no one's perfect. But that's a big one. But there's like gut issues. Like there's like real reasons. You know.

gingivitis. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. It goes beyond just not flossing. Right. Right? Yeah. I don't floss.

Do you floss. You know what? I do floss. Okay. Only because my mom was a big flosser. So I picked up a lot of good and bad habits from both my friends. But the flossing, my mom, I remember her every night. She was flossing.

Yeah. She made it a priority. I always admire that because I just don't have like the discipline to floss that much. I mean, I'm not doing it. on the daily. You know. So you almost, and this is a huge compliment to me. You almost look like if Rachel and I had a baby.

I'm not. Because of the eyes. The color. Like if we had a baby. That's a huge compliment to me. No, to me. To me. All of us.

That's just all just stroke each other's wieners. Right. But right before, right before I was telling you, Rachel, so I moved to us. L.A. when I was 15. From where? Where did you grow up? From Tennessee.

Oh, okay. And so this would have been when the O.C. was popping. It was huge. The biggest show. And I, I remember, I auditioned for a couple of roles on the O.C. And I kept, you know, trying to manifest, like, I have to be Rachel's little sister. There's got to be her cousin. Something, something.

And then I ended up being on the show, but nothing to do with your storyline. Even the creators of the O.C. were like, huh, you guys look really similar. But I ended up playing. Marissa's, younger sisters, roommate at boarding school, Hadley. And I just watched this episode

and I text Lucy because, oh my gosh, she's so fucking cute. And like, so free and I was just like, it was awesome to see you on it. Because I know, everyone's like, yeah, you know, Lucy was on the OC and because we didn't get to work together, which sucks. I think that we should like,

I don't know if we can go back in time, but, or do something now. Obviously you're like summer and sister. This is good. This is good. Let's just like plan it out. We will play something. We'll do something.

And we're the same height. Are you five two? Five two. Five two. Five four. Okay. She's got two inches on it. Yeah, I'm really tall.

Yeah. It's so tall. It's awkward. Yeah. It's so weird. There's not many of us out there. What shoe size? Okay.

So it's weird because my feet are shrinking, but I think I'm a solid six. Okay. Right now. I'm like a five and a half. Tiny. Yeah. What are you? Seven and a half.

Oh, great. I'm real tall. She's right at a huge feet. Yeah. Really tall with massive feet. Yeah. But we were so happy that we're going to come talk to us. I just always, you know, I think the first time I actually met, was it in the trailer when you were doing pretty little liars?

I'm trying to remind because Cindy, you know, Cindy Megan. That was the connection. That was the connection originally. I forgot about this. She was, yeah. Who was Cindy. Oh, who I fucking love and adore. Shout out to Cindy.

Shout out to Cindy. She was one of the only crew members. that stayed throughout the whole entire run. The seven, how many? Yeah, how many did you do? Holy shit, you did it's a lot. It's a lot. It's crazy because I'm so far removed from it now

because it's been about five years. And I mean, you know how it is. It's like all the episodes kind of blend together at some point. Like, I remember the bookends, the beginning and the end and the middle is kind of a blurry. Yeah. A blurry mess. Not a mess, but they just kind of all blend together.

But Cindy make a bar. artist on the O.C. And pretty little liars. She was the makeup artist one. And she always said that we were similar. Yeah. She did. And she was like, oh, my God.

And I love Lucy and you have to meet her or whatever. And I feel like I walked over one day. Yeah. Maybe that was. Because we're on the same Warner Brothers lot. Right. Yes. Well, cool.

Yes. I'm so happy to be sitting here with the both of you. I know. And, you know, like I said, just, it's been so fun watching you in all of your things. And, and one of the funny things was, I'm obsessed with dogs, like rescue dogs. I have a problem. Yeah.

Because I'm like, and every time I get a dog and I wind up giving them to my mom because like I just am so busy. But anyway, I have an obsession like on Instagram, all the rescues. And there was like this litter of puppies that you, and you got one. Oh my gosh, from Wagmore. Yes. Oh, this is so funny. Okay. So I also have a problem with dogs, but a good problem to have, I'd say to want all the animals.

My mom took one of my dogs. I only have had. had malty poos. And so I had a dog named Jack. My mom fell in love with him. So she's had him for 10 years. And now I have Elvis and Ethel. But Ethel is from this rescue Wagmore. And they knew I was kind of looking for a similar breed to Elvis. And they message and said they were saving these dogs from Bakersfield. There's seven or eight of them. Come by and choose which one you want. So I came over and I immediately was drawn to Ethel. Here's a funny story about her. So, they still needed to be with their mom. And so they needed to be, is it just called fostering when they're with the mom and someone takes... Yeah, yeah, fostered.

Right? Yeah. So I look in my DMs on Instagram and it's Kristen Bell. And I'm thinking, I've never met Kristen Bell and I was super excited. She was messaging me and I opened it up

and it's just a photo of her with Ethel. So I'm thinking... She's pimping out, Wagmore. I'm thinking, oh, this is so cool, but oh my God, they gave my dog. Yeah. And then it turned out that she fosters all these animals and was taking care of the whole litter of pups. Oh, she fostering your baby.

So she takes the mama too and the pups. She was Ethel's foster mama. Oh, and I bet she's very sweet dog. Yes. What is she? Yeah. Yeah. I think she does that a lot.

She does. She is the most, I have to say, Kristen, out of, I've known her for a very long time, like, out of all the people I know, does the most, philanthropy, like good in the world, like gives back all the animals, the people. I mean, I could go on and on. Did you feel proud of yourself for saying that word correctly? What did I say? You said it really, really effortlessly. Do you know, I didn't even know what that word meant like 10 years ago? That's a hard word to say, isn't it? You did well. You know what. Thank you. Philanthony. Vocabulary is not my thing. Yeah. But I did. I said it right. You did. I was talking with some friends the other day. Like, what are the words? I always struggle spelling restaurant. Every time I'm like, restaurant.

And Wednesday. It's always so hard. It's very hard. I agree. And I take note on my phone, you know how your phone will just automatically spell things for you. Yeah. So I mentally note it. Because you know, we have to memorize a lot. So photographically, I look, like definitely for a long time. Defiantly. Right? So it's like, it doesn't make sense. Yeah. Yeah. But that's how I am with all words. Words are hard, guys. You know what? Words are hard. But we do love. playing word games. Do you? Like what?

What do you mean like what? Like words that people say, we've done this with Rob, where people say like how do you say it? Oh, that's fun. Which is really fun. Yeah, like, well, should I spell it and see how she says it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's one of the ones I'll spell? You spell because I'm like dyslexic and I can't.

Okay. Yeah. It's high stakes here. Rob, you spell them. I bet you could remember the words. You don't? P-I-L-O-W was one. P-I-L-L-I.

I'm like. Like, what is it? I know. Pillow. Yeah. But I always think of that commercial pillow. Pillow. I can't remember the, it's the infomercial.

Is it the my pillow? Oh, the my pillow. Yeah. My pillow. Wait, how do other people say? I actually bought those pillows. Really? Yes.

I'm a sucker for any of that. So I'm shocked. Like infomercial. Oh, yeah. But he kind of went really far into the world of politics, you know. He did? I don't know. You're going to say into the world of pillows.

No. Yes, he did. No, my pillow guy went real hard. You know, Rob? Yeah, he's awful. Oh, he's a bad guy. Really? I mean, not.

Well, I hated that pillow. Okay, good. Let's be honest about it. No, I hated it. Okay, good. Okay. It's awful. We hate my pillow.

We do. Okay. But how do other people say pillow? They'll say, like, pillow. Like with an E? Pello? Yeah. Awkward, right?

No. I don't remember that being. That's one of them. It wasn't? Pello. M-I-L-K. Oh, milk. Some people say milk.

Yeah. Yeah, milk. Milk. What, Rob? C-A-R-A-M-E-L. Well, you've got to go a little slower, dude. I know. What do you think we are?

Okay, so this is a good one. This is a good one because there's two types. Caramel and caramel. That's right. But I would say caramel for both of them, but caramel and caramel are actually two different things. One is the candy and one is the liquid. Really? They're different.

Yeah, not sure. Not sure. But I realize, so you're not actually right or wrong. because they're both free. And then there's also caramel the place. But Carmel. Oh, shit. We're going to add a third in me.

Carmel. Caramel. Caramel and caramel. Yeah. So do you say caramel apple or caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Oh, you do. I said caramel. Yeah, you're saying no matter what you say caramel.

Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. And this is. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. And now I'm like, what do I say?

Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. it each time. This is really riveting stuff. Like, just use it naturally in a sentence, you're going to order a caramel apple. There you go.

Yeah. You were true of the whole. Carmel. Yeah, you were consistent. Yeah. Thanks. Yes. Carmel is a beautiful place to visit. I have to say.

Yeah. So charming. Oh, my God. This is just what we do here. This is fun. This is fun. Things in life. Brad Pitt got a house there, I think.

Excuse me? Oh, he did. I know. I don't know. Good. This is good info. I know. This is why I go there monthly.

Are you on Raya? Oh, damn, going to... No, it's a reason. She's a casual question. There's a reason why I'm asking. So, yes, Rachel, I am. And it's a... I thought we weren't supposed to say it.

So, like, people have always asked... But I love that you just said it. Okay. Because isn't, like, one of the things you're not... It's not... It's like... It's like... Yes, I'm on Raya.

My point was, someone said Brad Pitt was on it. Well, I'm definitely staying on it now. Well, that's the only reason I was asking, because I don't believe that it? No. No. Are you... She's married.

Okay, you're married. So you better not be honest. She's trying to convince me to go on it. Okay. No, we're gonna... Let's talk about this. We're gonna get you all set up. Okay.

What can you tell me? So, hopefully the Raya police don't come get me. It's a funny... Is it like some weird? Like, you sign an NDA or something? Like, what is the deal with it? No, I guess the thing is it's for people in the industry.

But it's... Yeah. But it's not. Like, I have friends who are on it that aren't really in the industry and you have to accepted to be on it. It's really silly, actually, but it's fun to pass the time. I feel like it's probably fun. Just to like, it's a lot of athletes and actors and all right. Athletes, okay. Yeah. I mean, have I met, I've met a few people on it, but I haven't, nothing serious has ever come on it. Just like some fun and. Do you come across people you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's the part that I think.

Do you get matched with people you either know or have dated? You can block people. So if you see someone you know, you can say, no, block, and they won't see you again. Oh. Which I've done a few times. Wait, so it's like literally hide and seek. Like you can hide and pop out if you want. And then you can turn it off and on. You can turn your profile off.

Okay. But also there's been some drama on there because I guess your profile doesn't get deleted immediately. Oh. So if you're dating someone, it can like somehow stay in the mix. They do that on purpose. Probably. Just to create some drama. But it's fun.

And I'm excited about this new. Avenue for you. I think this could be very good for you. Well, we've also been trying to get our other best friend on it. Yeah, but I think that I don't think it's for her. Okay. No. No. I don't. I'm like, do I fall under the category? I think Rachel should get on it. Yeah. So if that says anything. Yes, I love Rachel. That's very clear. Yeah. I feel like you'd have to hold my hand. I will. I'll hold your hand through the process. Let's pick the pictures. That's the only part that sounds fun. Right. Don't you get to put a song? Picking a song. You get to, oh, my song is stupid. It's been on ever so long.

What is it? What is it? 10,000 emerald pools. I don't even know who seems it, Rob. Borns. Borns. I was going to say Banks, but Banks is a girl.

Born's, 10,000 Emerald Pools. Okay. Had the song on there forever. I think he's been canceled. Oh, shit. Oh, damn. My pillow and fucking born. Yeah.

My pillow. Yeah, what did he be? Yeah, what did he be? Oh, dang. Okay, well, we'll be changing that asap. It's hard to keep up with everything that's been canceled because Because everything gets canceled. Right?

So how do you keep up with that? I know. It's a scary time. Rob has to tell us everything. Well, my friend plays guitar for them. Oh, what happened? I was in New York the night he got canceled going to see them. Well, how did he get canceled for?

It was just the musician allegations where he was talking to underage women. Seems to be the thing, huh? His band all defended him. My friend that's in his bands of female. Yeah. and his bands all female. Underage women. Speaking of bands.

Yes. Fake bands. Borns is a fake band. No, no, no, no. They're a legitimate man. Daisy Jones in the Six. Oh, yeah. Did you read that?

It's one of my favorite books. Okay. The little teaser came out yesterday. Oh, for the show or a movie? A limited series. A limited series. And I'm so excited. So it's about a band in the 70s.

If you haven't read it, it's so good. And it was one of those books where I was actually devastating. stated at the end because they weren't a real band and I go to one of their concerts. But I guess on this show they're going to do a soundtrack and Riley, Riley Keow plays Daisy Jones. Oh, amazing. So I'm excited. That's so cool. I almost picked it up at the bookstore the other day.

Are you like a book, a physical book person or like electronic? Me too. No. I need a real book. I need tangible and there's something so gratifying about closing it, putting it on your bookshelf. 1,000% I am with you. Yeah. I'm going to read that.

How do you feel about people writing in books? She has a reason she's saying that I hate it I feel like you're pissed about it No no no no you know I read quite a few Self-Help spiritual books and so I I will highlight and know Yes so I'm pro writing in books How do you feel well because so my husband and I Same thing obsessed with all the self-help books

He loves to highlight underline circle fine But not in my point Not in yours. It's yours. Do you know what I mean? Because then I'm like, am I even getting the information the way I would digest it? Or am I making points in my mind? You're like, oh, that seems important. Should I take? I agree. Or he's telling you things as he's reading. He's like this is for Olivia. This is for Olivia. Exactly. So, so I agree. I feel like it's okay in your own book. But if you were to lend someone a book and they underline and circle it. I feel like there's your etiquette like that you follow. Like you borrow a book. You're not going to. Yeah. What?

How does how books do you like? Okay, well, the untethered soul is a fave. The Four Agreements is probably my top favorite. It's just such a simple, beautiful way to live your life. Agreed. What else am I reading now? I'm really interested in, at this point, my life, reincarnation and many lives, many masters. My favorite book of all times.

Oh, my God. Okay. I read this book probably maybe a year or two. Have you read it? No. Year or two ago. And it was already kind of in alignment with what I believed that, you know, we all live many lives. And I'm interested in acting because I've probably done it in former lives.

And it explains why you have connections with certain people and karma turnover and karma in general and past life regression. And so this book is about a, see, a hypnotherapy. Well, he was a therapist and he started doing hypnotherapy with that girl. With this one. With a woman. We call her a patient, a client. A patient. A woman.

And he did hypnotherapy on her and did past life regression and could tap into all these different past lives. I mean, this is a woman who was educated in a certain way, didn't speak different languages. And she would go into her subconscious and start speaking different languages and no things she didn't know anything about. And she had, I think it started from her fear of water. She was like, I have no reason to have this insane fear of water. And in all of her past lives, they tapped into she died by drowning, traumatic, traumatic deaths by water. Oh, essentially. That's true to me.

That's crazy. It's all from his recordings. He wrote this book. And it's just kind of, it changed the way I view death. And it changed the way truly in one book, it like opened up this whole name. world for me and I just have gotten so interested and into all of it. And I like what a beautiful life we would all live if we weren't afraid of yeah afraid of afraid of death. Right to know that we go on and we learn things and we take the lessons from this life and it and it carries over.

My mom is very, you know, tapped into all of this and she's always raised me not to fear death. And you know, she has a pretty good outlook on it. And for me I'm always like, well, you die. You're not going to know, like you're not going to remember you died. Like you're just dead. Like there's not like you're going to be like, oh, fuck, I just died. How horrible is this? Right. You're dead. Right. You're just moving on. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just mentally, I'm like, well, you're not going to remember. Like, you die in your sleep. You're not going to know. Yeah. And then you just go on. And then you move on. But that, so in the book, though, it opened up my eyes as well. One of the things that I use when I'm talking to people all the time about getting out of their comfort zone.

In that book, it changed my whole perspective on life. Because I remember him talking something about, like, your soul groups, right? Like you travel with your soul family. Oh, I just get, I just got full body chills because it's just continue. Sorry to. Yeah, no, no, no. So he talks about at some point, like, you know, when you meet people and you're just like, I know you.

I feel comfortable with you. Yeah. Yeah. And then he talks about like when you get into relationships, I remember him somehow explaining how like we all travel in these soul families, right? But different roles in each life. Yeah. And that when you meet someone that's kind of like outside of your frequency, and that's when

you kind of change. Right. Right. Do you understand what I mean? Yeah. So it's like in order to get out of whatever lesson it is we came here to learn, we kind of have to get out of our frequency. Right.

To experience something new. To grow. Because when we're around people, this is so funny. This is exactly where I'm at in my life. talking about all this. But when we're around people that make us feel good or feel comfortable, we're in the same frequency. But if you're around someone who, I hate the word triggered, because everyone freaking uses that word. But when you're around someone who makes you nervous or anxious or triggered, it means you're just not in the same frequency. It doesn't mean they're a bad

person or a good person. It just means you're operating on different levels. But like what's the different like excited nervous or like just nervous? Well, you ever just meet someone and you go, ooh, you make me feel weird. Like physically icky. It's just at drastically different frequencies. Or they're just fucked up people. Or they're just fucked.

And don't belong in my freaking world. But also for dating, it's an interesting way to look at things. It's like when I first met my husband, I could tell he wasn't in my frequency. Really? Not at all.

Well, like I was like, this is a different frequency. Like I was used to chop off one guy's head, another pops up. It's the same person. Right. Right. Interesting. So I learned through that book, why don't you try dating outside of your frequency?

That's so... And it... I married him, obviously, but... Yeah. Well, how did it feel when you first were around him that made you, like, realize he wasn't in your frequency? Different. Just different. Just different.

Like, oh, whoa, I've never experienced this versus the same. Right, yeah. Like, I've felt this. I know this. Right. It just felt this is odd. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. But positive, obviously. I mean, I think we're all like guilty of fucking negative. It's bad. Just all around bad. No, but do you, does that come in with dating? Like, do you feel like you've done the same thing over and over? Or do you feel like?

I mean, I definitely, I've not been in a, what I would consider a committed relationship in years. Years, years, years. For a couple of different reasons. but I'm in that place where I'm thinking, okay, I know exactly what I'm looking for and what I've dated in the past. It was essentially a carbon copy of the same dude. Like I typically liked, ooh, like a little project to fix.

Like your problems are worse than mine, so you're going to make me feel better about myself just because I'm helping, you know, quote unquote fix you. And so after my last relationship ended, I had all these non-negotiables, which some people might call way too picky, but I'm like, well, I just have these standards. And I refuse to believe that that's not out there.

And so I've been single for so long because I'm like, oh, well, oh, yeah. They don't have this. And I just, I've just had to be really patient. But it's really evolved, especially, you know, you're 33. My Jesus here. Magic number.

33. Your Jesus year. But no, but to have that, wherewithal at that age, you know, like I feel like I didn't come into that until my late 30s or whatever, just really recognizing exactly what you want, what you deserve, the non-negotiables, which is, you know, the perfect way to put it. But I think it's amazing that you're there. Broad Ideas is supported by Rocket Money. Say goodbye to last year's outdated, disorganized methods

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No questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of high-protein cereal at MagicSpoon. com slash ideas and use the code ideas to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. I definitely have an open mind in thinking, oh, maybe, maybe I, I'm just open to dating someone different as well. Yeah. But it's more just, I always fall back to the, the self-respect and self-worth I have now that I

didn't have earlier in my life. Does that make sense? Yeah, for sure. I'm open-minded, but I know what I'm looking. for. Right. Well, what are your negotiables? Do they go along? Non-negotiables? I mean, I'm not what are you? Well, there's also negotiables, right? That's absolutely a good point. So, like, my negotiables, negotiables, that's hard to say. Like, I don't love cigarettes, but if they smoke, like, I'm willing to compromise. Right. Okay. I guess my non-negotiables would be, I think because I've, I've, I also hate when people say,

I've done the work. It's so stupid. But, like, I have put a lot of work into myself. And so someone who's completely aware of themselves and knows their strengths and their weaknesses, that's so important to me. Someone who's not self-aware, bye. Goodbye. Take yourself. There's the door. Yeah, that's not for you. Right. I think someone who's spiritually evolved, I guess, because, you know, similar interests, but, I mean, we don't have to be the same, but I think view the world kind of in a similar way. sense of humor is so big for me I find people either deathly boring or super annoying

so somewhere of where I like in between what else what else what else none of those are things that you're not doing yourself so why is that too picky it's not it's not for me it's not too picky but I've just had people say well you might not be as attracted

physically attracted to someone or this person might not be spiritually what you're looking for and I'm like I just refuse to believe that. I think you can find someone who you mentally, emotionally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically connect with, like a 10 out of 10 in each area. I think that is possible. I think so many people settle. I'm not going to fucking settle. I'll die alone before I settle. I love that. Yeah. I love hearing that. You may have to... It's so dramatic, but like that's just how I feel. It's so, you know, what it should be. And it's like strength and knowing what you, you know,

do you have an actual list? I mean, I have journals where I've written out specifically, what I'm looking for because I do believe in the power of manifestation. Yeah. But so yes. Yeah. I do. I love it. Yeah.

You know what's weird is I had a list. Mm-hmm. And some of the things my husband wasn't when I met him, but he is today. Wow. That's interesting. Was he physically what you? No. Yeah.

So he's very handsome, but he was more like I was used to like a cooler type guy that were like cool clothes and me, you know. Mm-hmm. And Jeff's jeans were like atrocious to me. Like I had to go to therapy over the jeans. Like, can I date this human who wears true religions that were like, you know, stitched? And like, he wasn't from here, you know? And so that's so funny.

It was brutal. I know. A visual. Oh, okay. I thought you were like I have a version of that story. No. He no longer wears the jeans. You know what I mean?

His choice are yours. Did you make him stuff? No, it's combined. He wore them because the next girlfriend got him. He doesn't give a shit about jeans. It's not like he's perfect. It's like it's more that attitude of just not giving a fuck, which is attractive. Yeah, I love that.

So the genes don't matter. Yeah. And he's attractive as a human. So that was a negotiable. Right. Yes. Humor's a non-negotiable. Right.

But some of the things too, like on my list, it literally said sober. He wasn't sober at the time he is now. Right. Like so many things have manifested. Wow. Yeah, like you called him in and then you grew, like it all just grew together. Wow. What are your non-negotiables?

You know what it made me think of, though? My mom, when I was younger, she took me to this woman and I don't exactly know what she was, but it was like, okay, I want you to let. And I was young, though. So for her to be, like, manifest in your mind, like, exactly what you're looking for, like in a partner. And I had to have been in junior high school, like really young. It was weird.

And at the time, I was in love with my older brother's best friend. Of course. So all I pictured was, like, like, I had to have been in my older brother's best friend. Of course. like, I need a shaved head and green eyes. Okay? Like, that was my only things that I was looking for because I was like fucking 14 years old. Right. But it's all about, you know, it just opened my eyes to really like, okay, well, you can, and I went, he was like my first, I lost my opportunity to him. So like, clearly it did something. But sorry, sorry, John, my brother. He doesn't listen to this.

No, he definitely doesn't listen, so we're fine. But it was something. It just opened my eyes to really believing and and I think I've done it quite a few times in my life where I manifest things. And it is powerful. And I know you asked me my non-negotiables and I went on a tangent. But my non-negotiables, yeah, he has to be funny. Like, yeah. It's like, it kills me. Yeah. It's my biggest, like, slayer. Like, fucking make me laugh and I will pull down my pants. Anything. Panny dropper. Yeah. See, thank you, Rob. She said panty dropper. Do you love the phrase panty drop? I. I don't think I've ever used that, by the way.

This might be a first for me. Who am I a bro? Like, yeah. Pan-fucking. No, but she said it the other day. I said it the other day. And I was like, we should ask people, you. We want to ask you what your biggest panty dropper for you.

No, you said seal the, you said, you know, I started with panty dropper. What's my big panty dropper? Ask her that. People don't say that. People don't say that. You can't say she fucking said it. Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. See? same frequency that's right for sure yes but yeah but that was a question what would be like

the biggest thing for you for a guy to do that you're like okay game over here oof so wow well I can say

what what what really gets me um really I'm like I'm like what really gets me I don't know

so many things turn me off right you're like I can think of those way easier but like you know yeah You know, well, we already know bad breath is not a panty-dropper.

I think I'm really into, like, mysterious guys. So it's got to be a combination of someone who's, like, really quiet. Only when you're into them. If you're not into them, it's just borderline creepy. But if you're into someone and they stare at you for like a second longer than what's appropriate. Yeah. But like I said, if it's with the wrong person, you're like, oh my God, what's happening?

But with someone that you're newly into and they stare at you and like a light touch of your hand or something, that sounds so stupid. But it sends like, you feel it in your vagina. I feel it all the way down to. That's what I say. That's what I say to Olivia. I'm like, if you get that like tingle, like in your body. Yeah.

You get a ping. Yeah. Yeah. That's just a look. You're like, it's all I need is like the right look from the right person. Yeah. Maybe I need to get specific about what my penny dropping moments are. Everybody should like write a list of their biggest panty droppers.

I feel like that would be an interesting conversation. Like let's say you go on a first date and you're like, okay, I'm going to bring my list. Yeah. Well, you know, it's a big deal because it's like doing the work. Like those are things. That's part of the work. Like what does turn me on? What am I attracted to?

You know what turns me all the way up and on when people ask questions. How many times are you with someone and you're like? Like, they're only asking me a question because they want to answer it. Or they straight up do not ask you anything. And I think this all circles back to not being aware. Yes. Someone who can read the room and is sensitive to other people's emotions. Fucking hot.

Yep. I'll marry you today. Yeah. But it's rare. I find it in women all the time. Yeah. Sorry, Rob. You might have this.

I don't know you well enough. But I think in women because we're just naturally more empathic. And more empathetic, you know, there are imbhetic, more sensitive. But when I can find a man who's so in touch with, I guess I just like sensitive dudes. Not that I want you to cry. You don't need to cry. Right. But if you want to cry.

Someone who's not afraid to tap into all the different layers of himself. That's like the first thing you look for. Like even recently watching love is blind, for example. Yes. You're like, is he asking her questions about her and not just talking about himself? And I'm using it, I just watched it recently So I'm like, I've never seen it I know, I don't know why you don't watch it

It's so entertaining The show about blind people? Rob! Not quite, but it sounds like it's canceled. Rob just got canceled. Rob. Well, they have the autism one. They could have a blind person.

Love on the spectrum. What a beautiful show? I can't. Did you watch those seasons of that show? I just watched the first one. I need to watch the second one Was it the first one where the couple and they dance?

Is that, anyway, whatever. That show is amazing. Michael, Michael. What an angel. obsessed with. Yeah. It's like Mr. A plus, I believe. It's his handle on Instagram. Oh my gosh. He's so sweet. So much. I love him. Yeah. But it is true because I'm so aware of that and you're like, yeah, are they, are they listening? Are they asking questions? Because there's been many, like I've had a lot of experiences with dudes that just love to hear them. Hear themselves talk. Talk all about their accolades and their fucking. It's so boring. That's so boring to me too. I tune out. You know what it is. I hate small talk. I would rather not be around people or sit in silence.

Like, I want to know. Let's talk about the real stuff. All immediate would be like, where do you think you go when you die? You know, I just immediately want to go to that place. I'm sure you guys feel the same. And that's why I feel like dating is boring to me because it's a lot of small talk. Well, do you feel like do you date, like age,

Have you found that that comes into play? Like older, they're more in touch, or it doesn't matter. It's just a person. I haven't really had rules with dating because I've dated like a lot over. She's like, because I've dated, you know. I've dated all the way up to 52,

27 to like 52. I'm 33 and I feel like I'll probably end up with someone around my age or older. Yeah. Just because the non-negotiables, I feel like a lot of people in that older age bracket will meet those. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, just like that maturity level. Well, it's a emotional maturity. It's the self-reflection, right? Yes. And usually that comes with a little bit of age. Because it's usually life circumstances that bring you to that. Right.

Right. But, I mean, it can happen younger. Yeah, I mean, it's really like, I don't know. What's your youngest age? Raw! Yeah. We're allowed to ask what your youngest age is. What was my youngest age?

Yeah. You know what? I was thinking about this? Because you put like an age bracket. Like when you sign up for the- Which you're going to sign up for later today. Yeah. What would you do?

But I'm like, I don't think I would ever go. Like, I feel like 38 for me is like the youngest. Oh my. I'm, I'm, mine's sad. Mine's 27. No, but you're 37 to 50.

To 50. Yeah. Okay. So you get like, okay. There's a lot of young dudes on there. I end up saying no to a lot of the younger ones. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So you would rather go a little older. My intuition said 27 to 50, and I questioned it. I'm thinking why. That seems a little young, but I'm just going to... You said 52. What was it like dating 52? Because I don't think I've ever dated...

How old is Jeff, 49? 50. He's 50 now. He was a young 52. Okay. I loved it. It's just like... Yeah.

None of the... No bullshit almost. It was very... So there was a big difference. Yeah, the whole... Yeah. Bullshit factor, I feel like would be... I'm into that.

A big thing. Like, no games. Just kind of like... Up front. No games is a panty dropper. It is. It is. For sure. Games are not a panty dropper. Yeah. No. But I've had to really undo that way of thinking because the cat and mouse thing was something almost like I was like addicted to that chase for a while. Yeah. But that's exhausting and we've moved past that. Good. No games. I think that's just being young. Is it? Maybe. I do. Like I don't know anyone in their 20s that was like, you know what I like? Stability. Stability. Stability. a real intelligent, solid, honest man. They're like, I want the guy that doesn't want me. Right. Truths me like shit.

Yeah. Of course. And I mean, we're all victims of that, you know, I would say. Because you learn. You learn from every experience. Like, I certainly have. It's so vastly different, too. So you're taking away things from each experience.

And, you know, at 41, I'm 41. So, like, I do think. Great. Ah, what? Stop. No, thank. It's truly, truly. I'm just a little short person.

But yeah, it's true. It just comes with, you know, it's just life experience. And fuck, man. I was tied and I talk about this because we're rewatching the OC for this podcast. And looking at myself at 21, it's such a trip. Because it's literally 20 years of your life and you're like, what is all transpired in these 20 years? That's so crazy. And it's so crazy.

And like, you'll look back at like pretty little liars and think like, oh my God, I was like in my 20s. Yeah. you know and everything you were probably how old were you when you started the show i booked that show when i was 20 and we were done when i was like 28 yeah it's such a it's a long time it's a long time it's a long time i know and i wow like so much happened for all of us during that time but those are pivotal years yeah and um you know i can look back now with compassion for myself and just know that I was handling it in the best way that I could. But oh my God, you know, the question you always get asked in interviews, like, what would you tell your younger self? Right. And there's a million

things I would, would have done differently now with the awareness I have now. It was crazy. I mean, the good part was we filmed in L.A. and we lived in this bubble at Warner Brothers. And I didn't even really recognize the success of it until I was outside of it because I just nine months of the year went to work. Then it was the holidays. And I went back and did it. again. And so now I can sort of see it for what it was and think, holy shit. It's amazing what it was. But it's so true when you're in it because you're just constantly in it and it's just your life and you don't think of it in any other way. Right. I'm like, I'm here every day. Really long time. You know. Right. And you work for so long on it. And then, but it obviously had such a big impact and

it was a huge show. And so to kind of look back on it, I think it's kind of cool to be able to reflect on it a little bit. Yeah. It was a good. good thing. You know, like, it was a great thing. But also, how was it, like, growing up in the public eye and dating formative years? Like, your 20s are, for most people, a bit of a shit show, right? Like, there's a lot of, let's say, there's a lot of learning. Right.

Right. It doesn't change it, but then there's, like, a witness. There's, like, eyes on it. Right. What was that like for you? I think, so I moved to L.A. when I was 15. I was homeschooled for high school. I didn't even grow.

graduate. I like got emancipated for a job and just never picked up school again. And I didn't go to college, which I don't think I would have done anyway. But I, you know, was supporting myself basically at 16. I was on sets really young. So I was learning to deal with adults and personalities and people pleasing was like a big thing. I knew what to be and how to act. But what I didn't learn was who actually am I outside of that. And so what's happened since I've ended pretty little liars and that whole is like learning, oh, what's my identity outside of what I do for a living in my career? Because that's basically been my entire life. So like learning who Lucy is without X, Y, and Z has been actually one of the hardest

journeys of my life. But how did I go off on this tangent? What were we talking? Oh, life growing up. Yeah. In the Fast Lane. Yeah. You know, I have nothing to relate it to.

It was just my reality. I wouldn't have changed anything. But it was interesting because social media hadn't really popped off yet. I guess Twitter was a big thing, but now it's become this whole other beast. And I feel like if I were doing some of the things I was doing in my 20s now, it would have just been a different experience. So there was still some sort of anonymity, I feel, like, because we kind of, that show grew alongside Instagram.

I think my first Instagram post was season. one of of liars. But there is that added pressure. Right. Right. I, like, because I didn't have a life outside of that, it was just, you know, it was what it was. And I just kind of dealt with it. I mean, it is important to me now to kind of hold on to some of my privacy and like there are certain things I don't want to speak about. Yeah. What are they? No, I'm just kidding. So, But I feel like when I'm in a relationship, like I feel like I'll probably, who knows? Maybe let down your guard a little. Maybe I'll keep that just for me.

But, you know, like I really feel for these people that can't even go out and live their lives. And they have entourages of 30 people and paparazzi following them everywhere. Like, that seems. That seems really hard. Yeah. Whereas I have a great life here and can have things that are just for me. And like there is still some privacy. and yeah I think that is a big especially in this day and age with the social media and everything else

like everything's out there instantly yeah um but I mean you are right like there are people I don't know how I could you know ever be like fucking Kim Kardashian or whoever you know it's like it's mind blowing but I also think it takes a certain type of person that can shut it all off and I feel like she think those people do that I feel like you're constantly you don't think so I feel like you're constantly living that. Right. I mean, yes. Not that it's two different identities

because maybe that's just who they are. But it seems like I don't know her. And I can't be like, oh, this is, you know, how she feels. But it seems like she handles it better than most. Yeah. Would be my judgment from the outside. Like you cannot learn something you don't experience. So like she's probably learned through experience.

Right. But like. But we talk about. it, you know, there's so much noise and there's a lot of like negativity that can come towards you and everybody loves to have a fucking opinion, right? In comments and your captions or whatever. And she's like learning that being on this and we talk about it. But it's like you, you gain the skill of tuning it out or not reading it or whatever it is. It kind of has to like roll off. It's so interesting because I so respect when people say, oh, I just don't read it or I like almost

have to. But the only way I can do that is because I know at the end of the day, like, I'm living my truth and I'm in alignment with, like, I only speak up about things that I believe are true. And I feel like if you're living a truthful, authentic life, like, anyone could say anything to me. And if I know I'm doing what I believe is best, I don't fucking care. Unfollow me. Right. Right. Right. I don't care. Right. Because I, I went, I've been on opposite end of the spectrums where I was too into it and I care and I'll always care what people think of me. That would be a lie if I said I didn't care. Like it's part of my job.

Like I want people to relate and to like me. But if I'm living my life for other people, that's not going to work for me. And then if I completely avoid it, that also doesn't work for me. So I've had to find a balance of the two. Right. What if it hits something like I understand if you're, if you're living in integrity and you're living in alignment and you know like every day I'm showing up to be. the best version of myself.

Right. Say what you will. Right. What happens if it hits an actual insecurity? Which is, yeah. I think now I can take that and say, oh, why is this bringing up so much for me? Why is this making me so uncomfortable? And I'm going to use my favorite word triggered.

Why is this triggering me? And I think everything can be a lesson. So if someone says something about the way I look, I'm like, why does this upset me so much? It will always go back to something that I need to work on. And I also learned from the four agreements, one of my favorite books,

like nothing's personal. If someone's saying something about the way I look or about my work or something, it actually doesn't have anything to do with me. It has to do with... Their perception and their shit. Or they're projecting or whatever it is. But to answer your question,

if it hits a nerve, I kind of... try to see what it's trying to teach me. Yeah. That's the best. But also realizing, like you said, everyone's got an opinion. Not everyone's going to like me. And that's okay. Because...

But then you talked about, like, people pleasing, you know? And, I mean... Yeah. I'm a huge... It takes a lot of work to kind of undo that. Right. You know, and especially you being so young and coming into it all and thinking you have to people please all the time, it's a hard habit to break.

and I've done it a little bit, I guess, now that I'm older, but it's definitely there. And that also plays into the whole, like, caring what other people think. Right. Right. And I love and appreciate your honesty with it where you're like, no, it's still going to affect me. But the fact that you can take that and look at it and why it's affecting you, like that right there is the work, you know? Right. It is. You know what word? I'm just going to throw this out there for you that I like is, activated instead of triggered because I'm like, ooh, like this is activating something in me.

Yeah. And because I do agree, it's like trigger, trigger, trigger. And I stopped liking that for myself. My brain shuts off when I hear it. Yeah. And I've already said it three times in this podcast. So hopefully people aren't. It's a really hard word to avoid. It is thrown around so much. Yeah. Right. And it's when someone says trigger is triggering. Yeah. It is because you're like, oh, here we go again. Yeah. But it is true. The activated is a great way. That's a great way.

I'll be like, my shit is activated. Yeah. It's awake. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that could be good or bad. I like that. It could be good or bad.

Yeah. It's true. The people pleasing thing is so real, though. I think. Do you do it in relationships? Because I really do it in relationships. I do it a lot in my with, definitely in my career.

Okay. Okay. I'll start from the beginning I think so I grew up in the South and it's a very real thing to put on a happy face and say what you think you're supposed to say brush things under the rug

so it definitely started with I'm not shitting on the South I love where I'm from and it gave me so many great values but but I think just our parents and like of that generation like you didn't say it was taught that if you were upset set or if you're angry, go to your room. Don't cry, like smile. So it taught us that you're not supposed to feel how you feel. Right. And then being on sets really young, like I learned very quickly

if I behave this way or if I act this way in an audition or if I say yes to doing all these things that I don't really want to do, people will like me. And so I had no boundaries for so much of my life. I could not speak up for myself. I said this. necklace right here is, it has to tie into everything I'm saying, it's called lapis lazuli and it's for your throat chakra because my, I don't, it's very hard for me to speak up for what I want because I feel like it's either too much, I'll be labeled as difficult or it's too crazy. And so I'm at this cool point in my life where I realize, oh, I can still be kind and speak up for myself. Yep. And I think that that is the most empowering lesson I've, I've learned because it is natural for me to want to,

get to know people and to help people and to be kind, but I also will not put up with bullshit. Yeah. Or disrespect. So like both of those realities can exist together, whereas I used to think, you know, my time during liars, like I felt like such a pushover and I'd go home and I'd be so angry and resentful because I wasn't speaking up for myself.

Right. So. It's something that a lot of women and girls struggle with is, putting those boundaries and knowing that you can be kind and have a boundary. Right. And it doesn't mean that it's aggressive. It doesn't mean that it's crazy. It doesn't mean that you're a bit.

You're difficult. It's like there is a way to deliver truth in a really clear, kind way. Right. Period. Period. And that is a panty dropper. That is a panny dropper. Boundaries, fucking forget it.

It's hard, though. It is hard. It's such a hard thing. It is hard. So I love your whole thing. Oh, yeah. Like with the throat chakra. I'm like, I need that necklace.

Yeah. My friend Kelsey got this for me. Have you, Kelsey, Dena Hannah. She ever done your makeup? I don't know. I thought you had worked out. Anyway, she, maybe. She was listening to my conversation one day and surprised me with this.

Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Do you do work on that, like on different parts of your chakras or like on your, communication. I tried. So I started doing, not practicing Reiki, people would practice it

on me a couple of years ago and just learning about spirituality and just learning about the different chakras and anyone who's ever practiced Reiki on me always mentions that

my throat chakra is blocked. So it could be that it's, it could be super old. It could be generational or from your ancestors. It could be super, super old talking about past life. Yep.

But it does ring as authentic to me because speaking up for myself and advocating for myself has been such a challenge for me. So, yeah, I think it's just something that I'll always deal with. Well, something similar happened to me with like a clairvoyant who was like working on me and like touching my face and my throat and they were like, well, this thing isn't going to happen until you can speak up for yourself. Like they felt that that's, I feel like it's like a similar. Definitely.

But I think a lot of people can relate to that. Not everybody. obviously there's people that have no problem. Oh yeah. That we've encountered. It's true. They're all different. Everybody's different.

But like that's one of the things I love to do too is like when I'm making a decision or a choice is I'll close my eyes and be like, okay, where do I feel this in my body? And it's like whatever chakra that is, it's like, ooh, there's something that feels like a strangling feeling in my throat or, you know, and then you're like, oh, okay, something needs to be said. And working with those things is such a great. great way to get to know yourself. Right. Right? Well, and it's all, like, your nervous system will never lie to you. Nope.

And so for me, whenever something is wrong, I do. I feel it here. Yeah, I feel it here. And I, I think it's, we're not really taught to listen to our bodies. You know, there's this book called. Your mom taught me all this. I know. I was like, my mom taught me everything about chakras.

No, yeah. She was speaking during that part. Who's there? Yeah. There's a book, what? It's called the body keeps the score. And I haven't read it yet, but it's about, you know, our mind might repress things. I don't know a field over here.

I love that. Rob coming in. Hot. But our body stores on to stuff. And we just... It's the... Eckart Tolle talks about it. The sense...

The body... Fuck, what's the term he... You know. Keeps the score. Yes. Yes. exactly but he does and it's like your sense memory and you feel it in your body yeah and it's so telling and people if they just could like tap into that more it really does not lie i know the body

doesn't lie no because yeah i mean because i certainly had to learn all this because of my own curiosity i definitely was not taught about you know because i think there's a mind-body spirit connection and i think in western culture we're taught that it's all separate but it's like there's this one Instagram called the holistic psychologist. So I started following her this week. She's brilliant. She has a book too and it's just, you know, everything is working together. It's not a separate thing.

It's so outdated to think that it wouldn't be. Isn't that silly? Right. It's like how could it not be? And that's where disease comes from. Yes. It's stress in the body and it's like, you know, even paying attention to the throat chakra. I remember when Rachel's mom had me start.

working on it, I used to get sick. I used to get sore throats all the time. I used to get coughs all the time. When I started focusing on the throat chakra and being like, what needs to be said? What am I not saying? What am I not being true? Right. I have not gotten sick. Not on wood. I mean, decades now. Yeah. Where I used to get sick every other week. And it's like your body's always trying to talk to you. Yes. Even my back. Oh my God. So I'm right. Rob, what's your body trying to tell you? He's looking at me like, you cuckoo lady. I can tell you're my kind of cuckoo.

So this is amazing. And like you can't obviously talk about these things with either people are interested in this or they're not. Right. I can talk about this all day. Yes. Same. You guys are my type of people. Rob, you too.

Rob's questionable. Rob's curious about it. But I always have lower back stuff. Ooh. And so I think. comes from when I don't feel like I'm being supported. And so my back always goes out at certain times during the year. And it's always because of that.

Wow. Yeah. Psychosomatic. Yeah. Have you read Louise Hay? Oh. You can heal your life. No, but I have it.

Oh, please read that book. That is the Bible. That's my mom's main one. Really? Okay. I'll read it next. That is the book. Okay.

That's the book. She always has us pull her cards. You know when you go to her house. And you can be like my back. And then she'll. give you an affirmation for it. I have these cards. Yeah, her cards. Love yourself cards. Yes. And you pull one and Annie, my best friend Annie gave me this. Aw. Yeah. That's so sweet. Really sweet. Yeah. It'll give you like an affirmation for your back. Okay, great. So that you're like, I am supported. That's really beautiful.

Did you look it up or is it? Yeah. You know, the internet can tell you anything. Sure. You believe it. But if something happens, I'm also big into like spirit animals. So if I see something, I'm like, what's the spiritual meaning of blah, blah, blah. So I typed in spiritual meaning of lower back. And it gives like 10 different answers and you just go with the one that resonates with you. And the one that stuck out was you don't feel like you're being supported in this area of your life. And I'm like, fuck. Right.

Because it's so on the nose. Yeah. Yeah. I do that a lot with dreams too where you're like, what does this represent? You know, and you look at often. I don't remember my dreams. Ever? And it makes me sad.

I really want, maybe I just need to be more conscious before I go to bed of wanting to remember dreams. I don't know. I mean, not like necessarily every night, but there's definitely ones that, you know, you're like, oh. You can ask to remember your dreams too. I'm going to do that. It's a bedtime intention before you go to sleep. You can say, like, please deliver any information that's important to me and let me remember it. That's so beautiful. And see if you start. Rob's going to do that tonight. Yeah, right. I can tell. I love that Lucy is Rob's number.

Yeah. Yeah. Rob is like, Natalie, what's your bedtime intention? The hair is setting intentions. Jeff and I would do that before bed every night. We'd be like, what's your bedtime intention? And what was yours? You're like to have sex with you. Not at night.

I like the morning better. You do like the morning. I like morning sex. Night or morning. It's a different vibe. Yeah. If you're having morning sex, it means you're really comfortable with someone, right? Yeah.

So you have a deeper level of intimacy and connection. So I can see why morning would be better. I think that we'll have two kids. So I'm like tired. Yeah. You know? I want to go to sleep at night. You're like, I want to be in my PJs and like cozy. Yeah, I go to bed at 9 p.m.

That fits up to me. Oh, yeah. Same. Yeah. I mean, people trying to have these 9 p.m. dinners. What is wrong with you? What is wrong? Rob, you are a 9 p.m. dinner goer.

Well, it's because I have two kids. No. Yeah, but then that's like five. Let's get the early bird. Yeah. And then home for bedtime. It's because I needed to help put the baby down. He has to help put the baby down.

That was his way. He did have a reason. Okay. But it's insane. saying like how are we going to stay awake at a dinner? Like it's, yeah, it stresses me out. They have tea at most of these restaurants. Are you morning or night? Night. Night. Really? Do you think, no? Are you morning or night? Well, it's because the baby wakes us up. I mean, I like morning because I'm awake and I'm not tired. Right. Yeah. But I can do night.

Yeah. It just depends on the night. What about a little afternoon delight? Afternoon, like, brunch special. Yeah, a little brunch special. Listen, if you're into someone, you get it. Do it whatever. And when you can. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can appreciate that. Yeah, I think it depends on it's circumstantial, I would say. But yeah, it's just like, I also get in my head a lot with things. And so if I'm like, oh, we're going to bed now, it's nighttime. Like, does that mean we have sex? And then I get in my head because it feels like something, it's not organic. It's like premeditated. And then I'm just like routine and mundane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's just me and my head issues. Yeah. My brain. But in my head is that too. in the beginning or is that like long term? I think I think it's long term. I think it happened to me in an early, early relationship in my life where I'd be like, okay, we had sex today. So we don't need three days. That's so funny. Like formulated. Oh, formulated like I already had sex

so I don't have to have sex. That's a bad sign. Yeah. That's a bad sign. You're like tallying in your calendar. It's not a good time. But then I think it speaks to like the anxiety like in my body of like this repetition and like just just yeah wanting to break that habit and and it's not necessarily the person it's like something inside me and my brain where I'm like hmm oh god like stop like the obsessive yeah just patterns and thinking and trying to break that and then that's like a challenge for myself and it has nothing to do with the person yeah got a lot of shit going on up here listen we are complex we are because I slept my head on my pillow oh yeah my pillow Seeped in.

My pillow. Definitely. Definitely what did it. But it's just so interesting. And like situations and things can bring out things and then breaking habits are hard. Breach. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Like my, you know, seasoned year of 41. But it's true. It's just like this weird thing. And then you start going inside and you're like, what's wrong with me? I know. But the beautiful thing is nothing is wrong with you. It's just, you know, I think that's also the problem with people telling themselves there the problem because we're not.

We're all like perfect and whole, not perfect. We're all whole and nothing is wrong. It's just circumstances and experiences. Yeah. And it's also just straight up being human. Yeah. No one gets out without negative thoughts or feeling crazy at a certain time. Right.

You know, it's like, it's just being human. And that's the thing. There is nothing wrong. Wrong. It's just what it is. Yeah. And most of the time we just don't even have the tools. Right.

Like, why is there not a school? Thank you. It teaches children how to regulate emotions and sit with yourself and. Yeah. Should we start a school? Yes. Is that when all this happened? This is what's coming out of it.

Can we start a cult? Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's just the beginning of something really. But it's so true, like, teaching these kids, like, you know, memorizing fucking numbers. Like, I can't tell you one thing I learned in math, like now. Well, that's another issue. But it's true.

But, like, what are the important things? And I watched, what was it? The Selena Gomez documentary. And she was talking about how, you know, when you're at school and they say, point to the smiley face that you feel today. Yeah. And it, you know, they had a spectrum of smiley faces ranging from. so happy to miserable. I feel like we start there and then it kind of like fizzles out.

Like I feel like. Yeah. But yeah, but it would be more powerful to do that and then do it again in another hour. Yes. Because that's true. Yeah. It's like people think they're supposed to be happy. It's like happy is one fucking emotion you feel during the day.

Right. You can also feel sad that day and anxious that day and mad that day. Right. It's like, it's not like. That's being human. Yeah. It's not like I am that thing. Right. And that's the thing I'm striving to get to. It's like, no, you might feel happy and then you might feel stressed. Right. Yeah. Do you guys feel, I used to get so stressed out when I'd feel sadness or any like kind of darkness because you think if you're not always here that something's wrong. And I think that's why so many people, without getting into deep into this, why so many people are overmedicated. Right.

is because we forget that being a human is all these emotions and feelings right it's like a big spectrum yeah yeah for sure because you are expected to just always be right okay like I was in a relationship where for the first time in my life like I was dealing with depression or whatever and they're like why can't you just be okay and I'm like I don't know how to articulate or explain this to you like you just need to like chill out and understand that it's something that happens to people and yeah you know people go through. Yeah. And you're out of control of it a lot of the time. So it's like it's not something I'm purposely doing. Yeah. You know, and it's just part of life being human. Yeah. Different seasons of life. When was the first time you felt that feeling? Sadness.

Like not just sadness. Not like, oh, my puppy got hit or like, yeah. Jeez. You know, I know that was really dark. Yeah. Oh, my puppy got murdered. I did it. No. Honestly, I was aware of darkness and sadness at a very young age. I think it's just being, I was just like hyper sensitive to everyone around me. So I, not that I didn't have a good childhood, but I have like very vivid memories of, I don't want to say it was depression, but of just feeling things too intensely at a very young age. And no wonder I wanted to be an actor because it was such, I got to access all these different kind of emotions.

and, you know, kind of became my outlet. But then I felt guilty for, you know, in teenage or early 20s, I felt guilty for feeling any form of sadness because how could I be sad? Look at my life. Look at all these things I'm doing and I'm successful or blah, blah, blah. But those things don't, as we know, like those things don't give you joy. Those things might fill a void for a while. But guess what?

Like whatever you're dealing with or feeling, it's always going to rise to the surface, whether it's a week later, years later, or 10 years later. So it went from feeling these things, then to learning that I shouldn't feel these things and back to people pleasing, putting on a smiling face, and then feeling intense shame and guilt for having these feelings, then to really repressing them,

then to now where I'm like, oh, it's okay. It's okay to have all these different emotions and coming to terms with that. But no, really young, I feel like. Yeah. Like a child. Child. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's... Was that you too? No, I think I was introduced to darkness, like real, the dark, real dark things in life, really young. But it wasn't until things in my life kind of got better that I met my own darkness. If that makes sense. Yeah. Definitely.

Do you? what? Well, I was so focused on other people's darkness that I was like, oh, there's something wrong with them, with them, with them. Yeah. And then once they were fine, you're like, oh, shit. Right. Yeah, I found it in myself.

I feel like there's also a movement happening of people talking about shadow self and shadow work and becoming friends with these parts of yourself that feel scary or ugly or wrong. But it's like darkness is only darkness because there is. Right? Right. Like, I think it's important to, it's the yen and yang. Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think, I think, for me, it wasn't until much later. It wasn't. Yeah. You're like, I know. Yeah. I've been sitting here this whole time. Yeah.

No, it was like, even though there was like shit in my life and growing up and stuff, that was not great, I was always kind of like, someone, like, that was just like kind of floating through, you know? Yeah. And nothing was really. affecting me or getting to me, I was just kind of like, ah, well, you know, just going right along here and just floating through it. So it wasn't until I was older and something really kind of traumatic happened to me personally where I was like, oh, this is darkness, my old friend. Yeah. Yeah. That had always kind of been lurking there or it just...

Not that I was aware of. Like I never ever had, you know, a relationship with darkness. Like, It just wasn't a thing in my life. Even though, like I said, there were things that should have been. Right. It was almost just, like, floating through. But I'm happy that it did happen because it's forced me to really go there and get in there and be like, okay, obviously this was here. I just wasn't ever in touch with it or feeling it.

Right. But I was able to, like, bring it to the surface or someone else brought it for me. Gipples wrapped gore. And but to, like, look at it and then actually allowed me to do the work and get to a place now. like we were talking about before, where I know exactly, for the most part, who I am, but also what I want and like what I'm looking for in life in general and being okay and content with or without another person, you know, and just being, I'm a mom, I have a kid. And like, that's my everything and my number one.

But just being in that spot where it's like, I'm kind of like fine and happy either way. Yeah. And that's such a beautiful spot to be in. It's taken a lot, but it's like I'm happy to know that I'm content no matter what. Listen, I freaking feel the same because ultimately everyone could leave you. You could lose everything you have. Every person could bail on you. So, I mean, you got to love yourself the most.

And I feel like we're also taught that if you put yourself first, you're selfish. And it's like, no, you have to be the most important person in your life. Right. You have to. You have to take care of yourself in your needs. your wants because it's hard to do that though once you have kids. Yeah, I'm not a mom. I'm a dog mom, but um, no, but it is and there's a balance there because I do definitely fall to the always putting her first. Right. But that's a choice. It is. And it's to me, like I love my

children more than life, but I do put my, you do. Your needs do come first. They do because I do. Mine don't always. I'm unhinged if I'm not hinged. Right. You know what I mean? Like I have to in order to be a good mom, a good wife, a good friend. Like, if I were to be like, well, I can't, then everyone would get the shit version of me. Yeah. Right. So I think it's important. No, I know.

It's something I'm working on because I definitely don't ever. Like, I always put her. But that's a comfort zone too. It is. That's true. I definitely can use it at times too. Yeah. Oh, sorry, I can't.

It's also, yeah. It is a little something to fall back on sometimes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely like, you know, like dates and stuff. I'm like, oh, sorry. Oh, my God. The best, the best excuse.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Because it's real. It's real. Right. It's like one of the greatest things about having kids. You're like, oh, sorry. Gotta leave early.

Can't help you clean up dinner or up sorry. Sorry. I use that with my dog sometimes. I'm like, Elvis is so sick right now. Can't make it. Sorry. I know. But listen.

Wait, that brings up a great question. How do you feel about white life? White lies. You pretty little liar. Never heard that one before. Listen, I think like the best example is if a friend says, does this make me look fat?

Or does this make me bad? I think it's okay to white lie at the expense of not hurting someone. But like how does that, what if you're in a relationship and you've cheated and then you like the lie? That's different. That is a different question? That's a lie.

That's not a white lie. She's like, what is. Fuck your boyfriend's best friend. Yeah. I know people that will literally be like, well, I'm not going to tell them this information. Because I don't want to hurt them.

Because it'll just hurt them. Well, yeah. Okay. So white lies, I feel like I call them embellishments. So I think it's important for me to live truthfully

and honestly with the people in my life because I respect them and I respect myself. So I'm at the point in my life where I don't lie about the big things. If I cheated, yes, I would tell them. I thought you were going to be like, yes, I would lie. Yes, I would lie. Repeatedly.

No. But it's just because that's in line with my values is to be honest and to hold yourself accountable. But I mean, I think white lies can be okay. See, I've gotten off of them. But what were you lying about? Well, like, if someone's... I said, do I look fat, right? I make it a game with myself. Like, how can I be honest? Oh, boy. Yeah. It's not my

favorite thing you've worn. That's it. So, yes, there are ways to choose. She just manipulate the lie. It's not a manipulation. It's true. Like, I don't love those on you. Or I don't love those on you is great. I don't love those on you. Or if someone's like, have I gained weight? Yeah. What if they straight up ask you that? Oh, what do you say? Well, I am my mother's daughter. I know this. And if I say to my mom, have I gained weight, she'll go, Five pounds. Oh. Right? But if a friend comes to me in earnest and is like, have I gained weight and I think they have,

I'll say maybe a little. Okay. Really? There's a kind way to do it. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. I don't know.

I think it depends on the friend, though. Well, you know, no. No, you're always straight up. I would say maybe a little. Wow. And I respect that. I respect people who can say what they feel and what they mean. But I think it all comes back to the people-pleasing thing.

Right. No, it's a good thing to play with, though. It is. It's like, how can I find the truth in this moment? Right. Huh. Yes, you have gained weight. Yeah.

A little. Just a little. Do you know what I mean? Even if it's 20 pounds. Yeah. If it's a lot, like, I have friends that have gained a lot of weight and they've asked me. Who? I'm just kidding.

And they've asked me and I've been honest with them. And I've said, I do believe that, you know, you have gained weight. She's always on me. Olivia's always on me though because like I was trained to kind of white lie to preserve. To be polite.

To be polite. Like all of it. And she will call me out on it. I think it's not disrespectful. You need friends like that. I know. And I'm like, God damn you, Olivia. And because she's right.

Yeah. And then I can't lie. Yeah. And then it, yeah, it's like a fine line of being a pushover to. Right, right. I never want to be that. I relate.

I relate. But this is good. Yeah, it's fun to play with. Yeah. I don't know if it's fun. Because then you... I don't call my friends. But if someone comes to me and is like, have I gained weight, I'm going to be honest with them.

Yeah. It just doesn't sound like to call. I feel like you lied to me about that, though, because I know when I have gained weight in my life and asked you, you don't ever say. Maybe a little. I've said, you still look amazing. Truth, because she's never gained weight to a point where she still doesn't look amazing. I'll say you still look amazing, but I understand how you feel. Wow.

That's you telling me I'm fat. That's me telling you that I understand if you'd want to lose a few pounds because I get it, but you still look amazing. That's not right now. Have you said that to me? I think I did say that to you at one point when you were really fat. I did say that to you when you thought you gained weight. I was like, I still think you look amazing, but I understand how you feel if you want

to like rain it in for a minute I get it. That means you'd notice that I gained weight. Was it right after you had Breyer, right? Rob. I was like, I think you look fine, but I got you a peloton. Yeah. Here's the thing. To me, and I had this conversation with one of our best friends who used to white lie a lot.

And I was like, just so you know, you're not doing it for me. Because I value honesty. So if you're doing it because you think you're making me comfortable, you're wrong. I would rather you tell me something that makes me uncomfortable than try to keep me comfortable. You're doing it to keep you comfortable. It's all about and it's so true. Everything is personal. Yeah.

That's so true. Wow. Okay. You know? So if the barista says, how do we make your coffee and it's bad, then what do you say? It's not great. I've had better. Good point.

Because then there's like a fun. Like politeness. Or if you go to the nail salon and your nails aren't quite right and they say, how do you like it? Yeah. Are you the person that is like, you say? So if the barista said to me, how did we make your coffee? I would say. And it was awful, you would say.

Oh, if it was awful. It was so-so. Yeah. It was awful. You can say it's awful. Okay. But if it's not great. But if it's not the best one you've had.

If it's not, I mean, I wouldn't like, you don't need to like go around hurting people. Like if a guy, if a guy. If a guy's like, do you like my penis and you're like, it's not the best one I've ever had. You know what I mean? It's like a coffee. It's not my top five. But I feel like I'm brutally honest though in those ways. You are.

I might just say like it's fine. See, like those kind of white lies, they're so. But he said if it's so-so. If it was awful, I would say maybe I don't like good coffee or like I don't like the- You'd find a lie. You'd find another lie. No, I don't. like good coffee. She does not like strong, like actual good coffee. No, I like like, like, bad

coffee. Yeah, she likes starving. You know what I mean. You like bad coffee. Yeah. I don't like like good coffee. So I'd say maybe something like that or I'd just say I appreciate it because I still did appreciate them making the coffee. Got it. You'd be nice no matter what. I'm always nice. I'm not mean. I feel like you'd be like cute about it and like be like playful. Like it's not the best but I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. One big star. One big star. Yeah. I don't know. I could never not be polite though. Like if you go to someone's for dinner or like, you know, and it's awful or you really don't like it. See, that's the game.

Like, how can I find the truth? Right. What if someone makes you a big dinner and it's not good? Well, it's still a sweet gesture. I say thank you. And they ask, but they ask how you liked the lasagna. You would say it's great. You would say, you would not be brutally honest with food.

There was a lot of love put into this meal. Yeah. It's like such a southern thing. Yeah, no way. Yeah. I would try and find a way to, I would try and find a way. I'm not perfect. I know you guys are all looking to me like I'm perfect.

You are in my eye. But I do try as all. Like even with kids, right? What? Like you would white lie to your kid. Oh, if they like drew something horrific and were like, really proud of it? Yeah.

I'd be like it's awful. No, you would never. See, it's like different areas of late. Late? Yeah, like do you lie or do you say, no, I'm late? So I'm never late. It's like a skill of mine. Yeah.

I'm always like early. But if I am. But I'll always give people a heads up. But living in L.A., it's, you always blame it on the traffic. Yeah. Even if... Because it's always the traffic's fault. No matter what.

No matter what. Nope. So even if you left late? I wouldn't. But if I did... Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that you wouldn't. Yeah. But if I did, yeah, I would say I'm a little frazzled this morning. Please forgive me. I'll be there soon. Exactly. Yeah. So that's not a lie.

That's not a lie. Unless you're like super calm that morning. Right. Yeah. No, it's not. It's not a lie. I respect it. Yeah, and I respect punctuality.

Me too. Yeah, panty dropper. Panny dropper. Speaking of panty dropper. We always end our conversations with a game. Ooh, okay. Oh, we're done. I don't want to be done with you.

Rob's loving talking about reincarnation. Rob is tapping into dreams. He's manifesting in his mind right now. This to be over. What game? We play. Which one do I say, Rov? Rob's going to be mad at us that we do.

any of our cards that he We're going to use these. Chad. Do a couple then. Did you guys just improvise? Okay. Yeah, can we just ask you this really quick? You wrote them out, Rob.

You precious little thing. Rob. If your best friend died tragically. Jesus Christ. If we came up with these together. Oh, my God. Okay. Can we talk about how?

How they died? Yeah, yeah. No, it just. that they died. Tragically. Tragically. Like on, you know what I mean.

Married with kids. Married with kids. Oh my God. Would you be okay? Wow. Marrying their partner. And we're raising their kids. Okay, wait.

Let me get this straight. Okay. Would I be okay? Is it my friend's dying wish that I marry their spouse? They're okay with it. So like if I were to tragically. Is the husband hot? Like what are the?

Yeah, he's got to be attractive. She's like, I need a visual here. Listen, I would absolutely swoop in and want to help with the kids. Yeah. Yes. I mean, this is like the makings of a movie here, though, right? Like, friend tragically dies. A boating accident, I think it was.

A boating accident. Jesus. I mean, I would feel like if it happened organically, no, that would be too much shame. I feel like I would be living a life of shame if I, like, married my friend. spouse. Okay. But I would definitely want to take care of the kids. But what if you knew before she passed that she had already wished this for her family?

It's a terminal illness and she's been dealing with her dying wish. Or they just wish this for their family. I do this. Psycho. Well, because I've said that, like if something were to happen to meet, Rachel, you have to marry my husband and take care of my children. Would you do it, Rachel? I mean, yeah. He's a bad looking guy.

He's a doctor. I mean, I could get down with Jeff. Yeah. Okay. Because, like, leaving, you know, like, that would be a gift to her. That's a beautiful gesture. I would really just be giving her a gift and her husband. But what if I'm already with someone?

Every third night. Yeah. What if you're already with someone? Yeah. They tragically died together. Everyone's dead. Okay. All right. Then I'd have to, I guess.

No other option. Okay. So you're curious about these. Your questions are, Rob. How do you feel about your partner going to a strip club? Oh, that's a great question. You know, independence is super important to me in relationships for me, and I feel like everyone needs independence to do what they need to do.

I guess it's the intent behind it. If he's going with friends for a bachelor party, sure, of course. If it's a prop, if he's finding himself. If he's finding himself there, you know, every evening, like he's not, he's not getting something. Right, right. There's like a. Yeah. But I think that there are certain things that I want in a relationship that would fall like under the same category as a street.

Does that make? Yeah. You want your dude to let you go to a strip club. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I just think being free and independence within a relationship is like, would be, it's very important for me. So if they needed that, if they said, hey, listen, this is important to me. I need to go to the strip club.

It's my me time. It's self-care time. I'd say, all right, baby, you do you. Every Tuesday morning. Every Tuesday morning. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That's a great answer.

That is a great answer. I respect it. In my head, I'm like, okay, but what about this? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, do we want to do another one or do you want to do it? Yeah. I mean, I want to keep doing them, but it's up to how fun.

You want to do one more? Lou, you pick the last one. These ones are a little tame. Give me a good one. Give me a dark one. Yeah. Do you have one, Rachel? A dark one.

Well, or whatever. These are just like not... If you murdered something. Yeah. I'm going to read two and then you can answer which one speaks to you more. Have you ever had a crush on your partner's best friend? Laugh. And have you ever checked your partner's phone?

Is that one? Okay. These are good questions. I'm going to answer the one that... I don't have to lie about. So I've done both of these. Yes, but I'll answer the... Have I gone through my partner's phone?

Yes, I have. But it's because you're only going through your partner's phone if you don't trust them. If you have no... If you guys are speaking honest... Yes, honestly and openly, you don't need to go through the phone. I did and I did it.

I did it. it was a thing. Yeah, like an addiction because I knew something was going on and I was right.

Right. And I ended up being right. It's like after, you're like, that's right, motherfucker. Yeah. I knew it.

But it, I mean, once you open Pandora's box with that, like it's game over. I know. It's game over. But.

Yeah. Yeah. I hope I don't ever have to to run into that predicament again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a trust thing. for sure. Yeah. Have you. done it, Rachel? Yeah, anytime I've done it in my life is because I had an intuition, and I was right. Yeah. It's like one of those things that you can't help it because it's like speaking to you so strongly, you know, and they're not being honest and you know they're not being honest. I mean, I was a lot younger, but, you know, I was right. Yeah. It's like when I know the

Seas candy box is in the other room and even if I'm supposed to gift it to someone, I have to go eat it. It's like that kind of feeling. She did that the other day. It's okay. I've never looked in Jeff's phone. It's not like just because I trust him. but I'm also like I don't want to create something exactly right like mm-hmm

yeah like once you you can create that yeah so I'm like once you trip over that line you're also inviting it into your life yes well it's it goes the same as like it's the same mentality of like being or an ex-boyfriend

but like purposely not like following anything on them on Instagram or just like shutting it off That is that is just recipe for a disaster. Once you start saying, oh, they're following someone new. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just bad. So if you just don't start, for me, if I just don't start, I'm fine. You make the choice. Because then it becomes... Right. It's not a good...

It's never going to do any good. No. And like you said, it just invites more toxicity and obsessive thinking into your life. That's right. Yeah. That's right.

Not avoid. Just don't do it. Just don't do it. It's a boundary, right? Right. Yes. On that note. On that note. Mary Barry one night stand.

Wait, this is fun because I love fuck Mary Kill. That's what it is. Mary Berry. One night stand. It's a tame version. We say fuck Mary Kill. We also say very one of us. Some guests feel more comfortable if it's like Mary Barry.

Did we even have anyone? Did Rob Texas? I remember one of them. I'm scared of Rob's in picture. Okay. Oh yeah. Ashton. Who were the other ones?

Machine gun Kelly. Oh, machine gun Kelly. And Travis Scott? Yeah. Okay. Travis Scott, machine gun Kelly, Ashton Coucher. I've... You're like, I've fucked Ashton Coucher.

No, no, no. I'm going to say. I know none of them. Okay. Oh, this is bad. Okay. Do I have to give reasonings? No.

No, no, no. Okay. Kill Travis Scott. Like that you were like willing to. They're like, I'm killing Travis. Mary. Mary Cuccher. I think of Machine Gun Kelly

Yeah? Yeah I get it Yeah that sounds appropriate It sounds totally appropriate All right Yeah I have my reasonings but

Wait I kind of want to know some reasoning No Okay that's fair I'll leave it simple I will say the reason I support the Machine Gun Kelly Is because like when I saw Megan Fox being interviewed And she's like well whatever daddy wants And I was like oh he's a daddy

He's a daddy Okay I mean there's something obviously They're kind of perfect together They are like really look at I mean Look at her Yeah. I love hearing her talk about the twin flame thing involving him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's obviously like there's something. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I respect it. Well, great. Well, great.

We'll bring him in. Great. Yeah. They're like all in different, hiding a difference. She's like, what the fuck? Yeah. He's like, uh. Yeah. No, I really respected your answers. And everything you taught, thank you for being so open. Yeah. This was so nice. I just love you. You're just so. beautiful and an amazing soul. I love the frequency in here. We covered a lot of ground. We did. We were here.

But we really appreciate your opening all. And I didn't even feel close to being done. I know. I'm always like, you know, just out of respect for people's time. You can come back. Yeah. Anytime you want, we would love to have you. I'm also going to call Josh after the Schwartz after this.

And we're going to set up your Raya. And we're going to play sisters. Yeah, we're going to play sisters in and I'm going. You can heal your life. Yes, you are. See, we have our own list. Yeah. Yeah.

This is great. Great way to start my day. What? All of this will be done by the next one. Yes, exactly. We'll check back in. Exactly. Book club.

Aw. I'm like, cute. I would love a book club. Yeah. Me too. I'm like, I'm going to get Daisy Jones in this. I'm going to read that. You're going to actually go get it.

What do you mean? You're not going to order it. You're going to go get it. No, I'm a firm believer to support tiny independent. Yes. That's why I asked. Not even tiny. This independent bookstores.

I'm a big fan of that. I agree. Okay. Small businesses all the way. That's right. Yep. It's time to eat now. Panic dropper. Panic dropper. Do you remember when we went out and I first introduced you to my friend Alana? And she was like, oh my God, you are. She like flipped over Rachel.

She was like, oh my God, you are so fucking cute. You remind me of me. Rachel said that? No, my friend Alana said that. Alana said that. We were like, like 19, 2019. I do remember that. Alana cracks me up. I know.

She's hilarious. You remind me of me. That's a person with confidence. I couldn't love Lucy more. You know, if I tried personally. Have you tried? No, it's not possible because I thought for so much. We ran into Lucy right after we did this interview with her.

Mm-hmm. We got to see her twice in one day. That was amazing, too. That was amazing. Yeah. She felt what we felt. and that is always satisfying, you know? What was the one you guys realized you were both there?

Would you have run up and yell at each other? Lucy was like, oh my gosh, she's like, it's so funny. I was going to say something to you today that I thought you would be here at this thing. It was like, no way. Oh, my God. And she had her best friend with her, and Olivia was with me. We were just all together.

Yeah, I wasn't there. Oh. Rob's never invited. I didn't see anyone else that had a penis there. How to be it. Well, maybe they did. Maybe they did. I don't know.

Also, it's a new year, like we said now, guys. New show. We might change the name. What? Rawled ideas. Rawed ideas. What are you talking about? Do you have any New Year's resolutions?

Great question. Great question. How about you first, Rachel? No, I asked it. Don't you flip it? I don't have any currently. I might by the time this airs. Do you ever?

Yeah. Like what? I don't... Okay, Rob. You? You? I really need to, like, really, really, really focus on just being present. Oh, yeah, you do.

Yeah, I agree. I agree. It's a great resolution for you. Oh, you just agree for me? It's not like you agree for yourself. I think she was saying the same thing. She was, but then I didn't know which way you were going. No, no, I think that's a great resolution for you.

But you're not alone in that. No, a lot of people have to work on that. It's really hard to be present. It's really hard to be present. Mm-hmm. You know my whole thing I say about that. Go. If you are outside of this moment, if you're thinking about the future, it's a fantasy.

If you're thinking about the past, it's a memory. So if you're going to have a fantasy, which anytime you're thinking about anything outside of this moment you are, you may as well win in your own fantasy. I'm going to record you. saying that because I think I'm going to have to keep hearing that. I think that just did. I think that just happened. I have an idea. What? What if we suggest New Year's resolutions for one another? Oh, good idea. That's brilliant. Let's do it. Rob. I feel like he's going to come up with a lot for Rachel. And none for you? Well, because I'm perfect.

Perfectly imperfect. Just kidding. This is actually my fucking jam right here. This is really fun. I am coming alive. Rachel, if you have a New Year's resolution, what will you do to create that intention and what will you do to anchor it in and what will you do to have accountability towards it? Because if it's just a thought. Right. Action is nothing unless there's action. I don't know what I said about being present, it's so fucking hard.

It is so hard. It's like you almost have to be like anytime it comes. So my mom gave me this exercise growing up. Anytime a thought comes in. like that, you know, that's negative or whatever, right? Because it's not like me winning in a fantasy when the thoughts come up. Right. She's like, visualize yourself holding up a huge stop sign, you know, in front of you

and your thought and yelling stop. And that takes you out of it. So I do try to do it. Like I literally, I picture mini me inside my brain. It's like an inch tall. Like Lizzie McGuire, a little cartoon. I never saw this before. But that's an exercise she would always give me as a kid because I, you know, thoughts are

fucking hard to control. Wait. So here's a question. Yeah. Does your brain respond in the negative like that? What do you mean? So what I've been learning lately about like shadow work, right? Is to take all the parts of yourself and not to disconnect or to stop them, but rather to

kind of incorporate them, maybe give them new jobs. Okay. So along those lines, if you. If you were to not stop it, because when we, it's like a kid, if you're like, nope, don't touch that. Right. They want to touch it more. They want to touch it more. And so when you hold up a stop sign or tell yourself to stop doing something without giving it something else to do, it creates conflict. Right. Right. So rather than a harsh, aggressive conflict, is there a softer, kinder redirection that you could give yourself? Can you give me one? Like a yellow light? Is this your resolution too? This is a really long-winded resolution for Rachel.

Rob, we're just talking here. Thanks for shooting on our parade. No, no, no. There's no point of making a resolution if you don't have the tools to back it up and do anything with it. Because I'm struggling. Like, you know, recently I've been struggling about, well, yes, I struggle all the time. But, like, just actually being present and it's really, like, bringing up a lot for me. And I'm struggling.

Mm-hmm. I get it. Like, deeply. Well, then your resolution. for her should be enacting a tool that will help her hold herself accountable. Oh, is this my resolution for Rachel? We were playing this game, and then you went off on this.

We always go off on TANDA. I know. Rob always wants us to stick to a program and a format, and we just like to free ball. Stick to the answer of the question that was just asked and presented. Well, I'm just asking her if, yeah, so if I were to gift Rachel, a New Year's resolution, that's what we're doing.

It would be to actually acquire, and implement tools to be present. I think she probably needs more specific, actionable. Right, but guess what? Her inner wisdom knows better than mine. So I can sit there and be like, you should do yoga, you should meditate, you should this, you should that. But the truth of the matter is inside,

that girl has the answers. So it's better to ask the questions of what would she do and let her intuition guide us. I'm stressing out over here. Yeah, you're just giving her more homework. I'm struggling. I'm currently struggling. My resolution...

Huh. Well, you're picking one for Olivia. Is following your... Oh, wait. I thought you were going to come with your... Oh, fuck. My tool? Were you going to say following your own guidance?

Yeah. Following your own advice. Following your own shit. No, it's true, too. Because she's the best at, like, telling anyone, and it's so helpful and so insightful. but then when it comes to her I think part of a good

New Year's resolution though is that it's less ambiguous and more actionable. Yeah, so in what way do you want me to follow my own advice? You need more willpower when it comes to seize candy. No, I don't mean like that.

I don't mean like that. Interesting guys. I don't know if you're picking up what I'm picking up, But she has, like, she cannot help. She had a gift for her son's teacher of Seas Candy that we bought together. We're like, okay, we have to get the teachers. Let's get him.

A big box of it. But it's sitting in her house. She could not not open it and eat all of the candy inside. So you're going to, that's your resolution. You don't eat Seas Candy, but you're going to send her a box every month. And see how she can resist. I'm not going to lie. I'll be honest, that's bringing up a lot in me.

Like, just like your shit with being present, if you tell me I can't eat sugar or candy, I start to get, like, really upset. Is that a, is your mom used to not? No. My mom let me eat. I mean, yeah. No, it's like a weird thing.

I love sugar. Oh, you, it's like an addict thing that's being activated. Hmm. But that's not my New Year's resolution. I got one for Rachel. What? All right, once a week.

Oh, he's actually giving me a job. Yeah, that's a practical resolution. Oh, fine. What? Once a week, I want you to do something to get out of your comfort zone. I love that. Something that makes you want... I know you have, but I wanted to be like... What?

This is coming at me from all sides. You get to come at us equally. Why do I feel like you guys have more things for me than I do for you? Because we're just the ones talking. We're going to get your turn. We're the ones present in this conversation. I have a problem with my brain. I think you have brain damage from the car accident.

I do actually. No, I know. But I think that that affects your ability. Like, I think there's actually a blood flow thing where it's like part of your present zone may have been affected. I had another one. Is there a zone in your brain? Yeah. Yeah.

What? I also want you to start using your Google Calendar. I do use it. More. I thought I was very up to date on it. Your doctor's appointment today was not on the calendar. It wasn't? No.

Well, that came up on Monday, like I had to call and just make an appointment. She's going to calendar. Sorry, Rob. I thought I was so good. You know what I'm going to do with now? I mean, you have been. I did see, like, school volunteering on there Friday. Yeah.

Oh. But, like, Misha's interview didn't go on there. Well, because I didn't know that either. until the night before. Well, what you should do then is put like a hold. Okay, I don't know how to do that, but I've been trying. You've been doing good. You've been doing good.

Who sees this calendar? Just me. Just you? I mean, you have access to it, but I think she's as good as using calendars as you. That's not true. Look at my calendar. Are you kidding? I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. My calendar is popping. But I don't think you're like toggling her calendar on and off and checking in. I only check it. When it comes to, I do. You know why? Because I will check her calendar to schedule my stuff

because I know that that won't be recording time for us then, because I'm smart. What's Rob's, Lou? You got one for me? Yes. But I don't know if it would be fun. It doesn't matter. It doesn't be fun. I don't think her-

I'd rather to torture. Her Google calendar and comforts up. I'm going to get you to like. So having a lot of anxiety. I'm going to get you. Why are you having anxiety about this? I didn't sleep. I'm going to get you like a comfort zone calendar,

and you've got to like mark on the calendar the day that you do it. I have people doing that, Rob. No, I have a self-nurturing tracking sheet for comfort zone, and they'll track, I'll have them track, like literally how many days a week. Like, aim for three days a week. Yeah, it's just an account of, like, you're not going to get in trouble if you don't do it. It's just a way to keep yourself accountable. You know what's a really good book is Shonda Run.

book, The Year of Yes. It's a really great book. I've heard that's good. All right. What do you got? Oh, I was going to say, I don't know how to phrase it. Like, because you know how we say your Captain Contrary, ready to jump to the opposite conclusion?

Yeah. Yeah. What if your new year's... You had a year of yes. Yeah. A year of yes. Yeah. Rob is always the first to, no matter what it is.

Like, Robb's not true. No, we need to use this other chair because X, Y, Z. Like, it's every little thing. I feel like it's mostly just you and I between each other, though. Are you trying to say I'm contrary? Yeah, I think you do it to me, too. He's just flipped it and tried to say, I'm contrary. I think I get that way with you.

I don't think I get that way with you so much. Is he contrary with you? Sometimes. Yeah. But not all the time. It's not at every single thing. It's a lot of the time. Well, it's...

Well, I think it's your nature is to, I think, and it's also, and I'm going to tell you this as a compliment, I believe and think you have really good taste. I really do. And I think you know what you're doing in so many areas that your instinct is to just do your way. Do what you think is the right way. I agree with that. I'm very strong-headed like that too, though. Like, I'll be like, no, I know it's right. Well, I think part of it, too, is. I like to communicate why I think that is. Like, I used to not communicate that. Similar to the Lucy Hale... Her throat chakra? Her throat chakra.

Yeah. Where I try to intentionally voice that opinion. But there may be a less contrary way of doing it. Because I think for me it's more than I want to discuss this or that. I'm telling you what my intention is by it. And I'm fine saying that like this is what my opinion is I think this is the case. I maybe phrase it in a way that is more contrary, but that's what I'm trying to do in those cases. No, I get it. I don't think your intention is ever to just be contrary.

Whatever Rachel says is wrong. No, I think you know a lot of things, and I think sometimes, yeah. Mm-hmm. Right? But you think he's contrary most of the time, though? I think his nature is to be contrary. Yeah. Yeah.

Your natural reaction. Okay, so that's your, you have to be more conscious of it and try to be a little more open. And it's just being more open. I don't think I'm contrary all the time. I really don't. Contrary to your belief. Contrary to your belief, I don't agree. But that's why I said I think it's with me that you get that way.

Do you think that's true? She doesn't get that way with me. Do you think I'm always that way with him? I mean, you're on the text chain. I think I'm pretty agreeable. I'm like, all right. Like, we're going to do it here. Okay.

Yeah. I'm pretty agreeable. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to say, no. That wasn't my experience. I would say I'm pretty agreeable. I don't know because it's so hard because I'm just in my own perspective.

Part of it is you're not always present to agree or disagree with it. I do have a hard time. I definitely drift off pretty easily. I don't know. Maybe I was never diagnosed with something. I don't know. Like ADD or something? Yeah. I don't know. Oh, I'll go ahead. I'm not a doctor, but I could go ahead and diagnose you right now. You've just been diagnosed. You're fully ADD. I am. You need your little fidget spinners to like kind of. And, like, what are you talking about? I do need those things. You trail off. I do trail off. How'd you do in school? I mean, I didn't love a school.

I know, but what was it like for you? Was it hard? I couldn't pay attention. Uh-uh. Unless the teacher was, like, really interesting. A guy and a male. And a male and hot. And hot.

And had big muscles. And a big dick. And kissed me behind the locker. Real tall. Yeah. I know. I don't know. Yeah, I have a hard time focusing. But not when I like a guy and he's talking to me, then I can focus. For a minute. Oh, you're right. Because I remember one of your ex-boyfriends, he was like, you know, being in a relationship with Rachel, I'll just be like, I just had this like most deeply profound spiritual experience. And I learned so much. And she'll just go, I love puppies. She'll just trail off and be like, I love puppies.

Is there a resolution we can give her that like involves her following up on answer? He just like chomping at the bit. He's like, let's get this bitch present. I mean, meditation. But I think that could be a tool to help her stay present. Meditation. And like the end of every night you go through your text messages and respond to our chain with any unresolved questions. If I could get Rachel to respond to any text message from me?

That would be great. He's like, I don't care how present feels. There's sometimes where I'm like, boom. It absolutely does. It absolutely does. But then we'll, like, we'll be talking and Rachel will tell you something. I'm like, that bitch is responding to Olivia. Because she'll be like, we'll be like asking questions on the thread and then I'll get a side

text from Rachel like, I saw the cutest dog on Instagram. It's so true. I did see the cutest dog on it. So that's another resolution. Every night before bed, you answer all unanswered questions on our text change. Oh, that's a lot of questions.

Okay. Yeah. Are we pinned in your phone? Pinned? And we text so much, it always comes up to the top. I know, but do you not pin any of your text message? No.

I don't even know what that means. What do you mean? So like... It like puts it to the top, right? You've got a group of people. Oh, God. No, I've never. Never in my...

That would confuse me. At the top. That would confuse me. Well, no, it doesn't. Because it still shows up chronologically. I don't like it. He's so organized in his brain. Yeah.

I'm saying it would help, though, if... Yeah, I hear you. Every night, you know that there's going to be... Yeah, and then you don't respond and they drift 14 text messages down. So you put... You guys are up on mine. Natalie's up there. Who else is up there?

Rob, give us your top eight. What's like fucking... MySpace. MySpace. You're like, oh, yeah, whatever it is. MySpace. It's Natalie. You guys, Jeff.

Dax and Monica. Dax, Monica. Are there two Dax and Monicas? There's them together and they're separate. Oh, got it, got it. Okay. Did you give Olivia one?

Here is a top. I give you three. Fuck you. You gave me three. You have nothing. Nothing for Olivia? I mean, I feel like the comfort zone one is whatever.

I think. Olivia's, that's good for Olivia, too, and she does it, and it's an active practice, so. I'm already trying that. That's what I mean.

It's what I mean by active practice. Yeah, it's active. Yeah, you're already actively doing a lot. That it's hard to... I love your term activated instead of triggered. It's feeling right, right? Yeah, because I'm fucking activated

all the goddamn time. Yeah. It's better, because then when you hear a trigger, you're just like, Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, you really don't have... So my only resolution is to stop eating C's candy? No, I told you to follow your own advice and your own... You do it all the time. She'll call me and she'll be doing the exact opposite of what she tells everyone else to do and she can go there. You've been good lately, though. Lately, I feel like you're pretty mentally like on it. Yeah.

What else? Look at her. She's like, oh, you don't have anything for me? You're already doing a lot of work. That's why it's hard to... Yeah. I do a lot of work. You do a lot of work on yourself. You can even finish that statement without laughing. I do. I do. I've been mourning the loss of my therapist very hard.

Yeah. I would say New Year's resolution is to reach out to new therapists. I have some, I'm supposed to reach out to. Oh, I know a good New Year's Resolution for me. What? to read more because a lot of times I go to sleep with the kids and I don't force myself to get up. And then when I do force myself to get up, I watch a show. All right, I got a good resolution for you. Okay.

Once a month, read a book. Yeah. I want to read more. That's a great. Once a month. We need a book club. Yep. All right.

Let's do it. I'll read that book again. Why don't we do that one first? Because we just talked about it. Yeah. And then we'll read it out and everybody can read it with us. And we each pick a book. You should talk to someone.

That's a great New Year's resolution. that we're all reading the same book. Now you owe me one. I told you. No, she did. No, I did. Oh. I'm not allowed to say that.

See, he's already seen it. He's like the Jim Carrey movie. Lyer, liar, liar. No. Yes, man. That's you. You are now Jim Carrey and yes, man. You have to say yes to everything.

Rob, we want salad. I didn't. I have concede to most of the things. that you want to do. Just give you a little bit of attitude along the way. A lot of attitude. But guys, we can't say we're going to do a book club and not follow through. Olivia made us read a Jesus book.

I didn't know it was a Jesus book. She got a bunch, a gangload of people together. And look, nothing against Jesus believers. It's just not our thing particularly, right? I still got things from it. Yeah. you know, it was eye-opening, but she got all of us together to read a Jesus book, and we didn't know going into it, and she got us all on board for this book club. There's like 20 of us,

I feel like. Was it the first book? It was the first and last. No, didn't we do the other one too? I didn't do it. I was out. The other one was great. It was the Glenn and Doyle one. Oh, yeah, you did start that, but I don't think anyone ever finished it and didn't, it didn't keep up, because the first one was the Jesus one, and it was very... I wouldn't let anyone quit. No, she wouldn't let anyone quit. I'd be like, what you're resisting is good for you. Just show up. And it was a good thing to just show up and get through it.

This was a perfect example of how I was in school. Reading this book, I was like, okay, glance, glance, glance, okay, I can take a line there, a line there. Okay, this is my report on the chapter. I went to cliff notes. And everyone would give like these earnest replies. Like, you know, I could see how this really relates to where I'm at now and da-da-da. Rachel's were thrash. She'd be like, this is fucking bullshit.

That's not true. I need not. You would get a little angry. Well, it was very activating that book. Yeah, it was. It was fucking, I agree. It was like, if you don't do this, you're going to fucking go to burn in hell. And I was like, wait a minute.

Did you pick the Bible? No. No, literally. It was like, you have to do these things or like God hates you and you. you're going to hell. Like, if you don't do X, Y, or do the way we tell you to. So I had issues with someone telling me things I had to do or, like, my life is fucked. I did not like that.

I don't even remember what it was. I had heard it was a great book. What was it? Can we say? I don't remember. I don't remember it's called. I don't remember. I blocked it out.

All right. So then we will recap the book. Once month. Postpartum last episode of the month. So end of January. Okay. We don't have to do the book I said if you don't want it. No, we think. It's a good book.

He already has it. I'll get an audiobook version. Audio book. I can not. I love reading an actual book in my hand. I know we said that with Lizzie too. You're dyslexic, though. You don't mind that? She's not, she can read. I can read. I'm so mean about your dyslexia. He is. Dislexia bullies me.

Yeah, he does. I was concerned for you. You should be concerned. I'm glad someone finally is. Jeez. Giving you a challenge of something. No, I can read. I know you can read, but you may be a very slow reader because of your dyslexia. Yeah.

Or you may be slower than the rest. So I don't know if you preferred audiobooks as a result of that. I like both. Like Untethered Soul, which is like one of my favorite books, I listen to all the time. And it's a great thing to just, Rachel is going to sleep. I do that sometimes. Go to sleep. Mid-sentence.

Just speak sometimes. You know, when you're dating someone and they go on and on about stories, I'll just do this in the middle of the story. Like on purpose. Yeah. I'm sure they love that. Do you need help finding the point? Get to it. Like, I get like, get to it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on. I'm like, okay. All right. All right. Also, like, yes. To wonder why you're still single. That was so.

Mean. That little version of myself in my head that's an inch roll. Just fucking died, Rob. That was mean, Rob. I'm sorry. It is why I'm still single. I can't, I fall asleep mid-sentence. Anyways, that was very mean. And I don't like how I feel now. You know what? We just came off the holidays, New Year's, New Year's resolutions, and now I want to cry. Thanks, Rob. I just like giving you. Well, I made a comment today that was nothing even close to the truth and she started crying.

And it couldn't have been further from something that would be taken seriously. I took that moment and did make it all about me because I started crying. I was like, wait, what? Is this real? Is this happening? I know. I'm in a really fragile place, you guys. Yeah. Involnerable. Menopause can be. I'm just kidding. That could be happening. Oh, no.

You were really sweaty today. When we were taking those photos? I'm just kidding. Not like there's anything wrong with menopause. Let me just be clear. No, listen. We're all going to go through. What's wrong with that?

I don't know. I was talking to my mom about it yesterday. Oh, I don't want to know. You sound like you were talking about it and it's not good. No, she said it wasn't. She didn't have that horrible of an experience. I just asked her because they say you usually take after your mom. So I was like, what was your experience with menopause like?

Same. I remember my mom's last period. What? You do? Do tell. Excuse me? We were on vacation in Hawaii and she went into menopause

right when we went on vacation. What does that mean? She went into menopause. She realized she was starting menopause and that she was entering that. Interesting. I wonder what happened in Hawaii

in the moment where she was like, you guys? I don't remember. Did she sit you all down? I don't remember if that was like when her last period happened or when she knew she was going through menopause. That was a weird trip, though. Well, for other reasons. Oh, my God.

What? Well, we were on a cruise, and it was, like, all old people. It was an old person cruise. This was, like, their gift to us after we all graduated. Princess Cruz? I was 20, and my brother just graduated high school. It was all old people. And then I remember being at the buffet, like, the first morning.

and I had a friend that I played soccer with that I hadn't kept in touch with. Like, fell out of... No, he was just randomly on this cruise. I hadn't seen him since, like, junior high elementary school. We hung out, like, the whole week on the cruise because it was all old people and us. And then, like, three weeks after that cruise, he died.

Oh, geez. Rob! What happened? He, like, had a heart attack in his sleep. Like, out of nowhere? Out of nowhere. Oh no. Rob, that's really traumatizing.

Were you traumatized? No. No. I mean, it was sad. I was on tour when it happened. And I was, like, texting with him because we were going through his city that, like, next week. And then I got a call. How old was he? 20. That kind of shit just freaks me out.

Guys, today just feels heavy, and I don't know. And I just don't like the story. and I'm just that poor kid. No, 20. Today's, um, light. Light flow. Wow.

It's a new year. Okay. All right. Well, on that note. Jeez. I want to change the vibe. The vibe is really dark. Let's change it.

Yeah? The vibe is so dark. You guys, I don't, I feel, I feel lonely inside. Mm-hmm. Jennifer Vega called Should we put her on Oh my God, please Just see what happens

Plug it in Plug it in Plug it in Hello Jennifer Yeah You're on speaker You're on with the broadians

With an audience With the broadians Oh she does She's an avid listener with the broad ideas. I'm on with broad ideas. Yeah.

Do you have something you'd like to share with the world? Let's see. I actually was calling to see if you wanted to join this personal training gym with me. But is there something specific you'd like me to share with the world? Oh, her energetic sex. Virginity story.

She likes energetic sex, Rob. All right, let's see her. Oh, I love that. What's the most energetic sex? energetic sex you've had. Okay, it literally just happened to me in October at our teacher training retreat in Sedona. Oh my God. So I'm going to not explain this to you, but I chose a few people to work with me while

John was leading us through this practice in the middle of the room, like the lights are off. Like we set a really intimate setting. And John was guiding us through this practice and we're laying. on Zafos and Zabwatons. And so people that are in the practice are in the middle of the circle. And then there are people who are holding the energetics of the space from the outside. And so I was working with two of my girlfriends and then one of my guy friends who are in the program with me.

And as John was guiding them through this practice, like they weren't touching me, but it was all, like, energy through the hands. Oh, my God. yes, I had an energetic orgasm, okay? Wait, but like an energetic orgasm means a real orgasm? Yeah, so it's a real, it's a real orgasm and a real climax. And the point of this, yeah, the point of this exercise was not to take it to orgasm, but to really, really breathe in, like, and have the people who are practicing with the person

who was lying down, which is me, is have them really feel into the energetics of the climax, and then bring them up and then bring them back down. And then for me, it was about breathing in the pleasure and really moving it through my body. Because what happens a lot with women, if women give themselves permission to actually feel, and if they have a partner who is invested in a woman's orgasm and pleasure, what happens is sometimes it's really just focused in the pelvic area and in the genitals. And what I'm learning and starting to do is really work with moving it up and through and down my body so that the orgasmic pleasure can be felt everywhere and not just in my genitals. So this was you're sitting in the middle of a group of people that made this happen?

no physical touch no physical touch I mean at one point at one point my friend was holding my hands and like I was squeezing them or like I was like grabbing her leg or something but there was I had one of my friends

behind me and then one of them was in front of me and then my friend Jason was on the side of me and they're all moving energy through their hands throughout my body and you can feel it.

If you're open and receptive to it and your practice partners know what they're doing, like you could feel the energy. Like, I would feel it getting really warm around my genitals and then like, oh, I'm sorry, there was some physical touch. There was like tickling of the arms.

When they put their finger inside my vagina. Yeah, are you, are, is everyone naked in this? No, no, no. So I should say the work that we do is very, um, very tantric in nature. However, there's no touching of breast ass or genitals and there's also no exchanging of bodily fluid. So there's no kissing. There's nothing like that. So when we're

practicing with each other, it's all based on the energetics. But, you know, sometimes we get into practices and like, you know, if we're called to, you know, we can sit on each other's laps and stuff. So yeah, is there some dry-humping that happens with people? I'm sure there is. Nobody ever made it dry. It sounds like a good old high school dry hump. It sounds like sexual reiki. Right. I was thinking the same thing with that energy.

Heat. Yeah, that's actually a really great way to put it. Because it's sexual reiki and it's like a healing and it's a moving of energy. So it's also my belief with that because this is my personal experience is when I put myself in a situation like that and I'm willing to explore intimate. from that perspective and also in front of people. It's very taboo for me, but because it's so taboo, it helps to relieve the shame of my sexuality. I get that. And it may, yeah, and it makes it, it helps me to connect more to like my birthright of pleasure, period. Yeah, it's very vulnerable. Well, it sounds to me like we need to have you on and like really take like a super deep dive.

Okay. An energetic deep dive. We're going to have some energetic sex. Are you okay with that, Rob? Once a month on broad ideas. All right. I'll call you back. I love you so much.

Okay, love you. Bye. Bye. Oh, yeah. We said we wanted to change the mood. Thanks, Jen. Thanks, Jen. Uncle Jennifer.

Thanks. Bye.