Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Malin Akerman on Kids’ Mental Health, The Perfect Burrito, and Modeling Horror Stories from Italy

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Malin Akerman [Watchmen, The Heartbreak Kid, Billions] talks with Rachel and Olivia about her passion for mental health, volunteer work, and addiction-tendencies in kids. Malin also shares ups and downs from her time modeling as a teenager in Italy, how she transitioned from modeling to acting, and her stance on nude scenes. Broad Ideas is supported by Manscaped. Get 20% off and free shipping, with the code IDEAS at Manscaped.com. Broad Ideas is supported by Quince. Right now, go to Quince.com/ideas to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Broad Ideas is supported by Opti-Greens 50 from 1st Phorm. Visit 1stphorm.com/ideas. Broad Ideas is supported by Caldera + Lab. Get 20% off at calderalab.com by using code IDEAS.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

Welcome. I feel like we need a welcome song. Like a theme song? Like a theme song? Oh, wait. No, that's the best song. But I mean, just like a little jingle that's like just welcome. Oh, that you perform each week.

Like I could try a few out. Let's go. Try one right now. Let's try it. Welcome to broad ideas. Welcome. No? No.

I love it. I like our theme song. No, I love our theme song. Just a welcome, you guys. Okay, do it again. Try again. Welcome. Yeah, I like it when you do that.

Okay, anyways. Today, Malin Ackerman is joining us. I'm just going to sing everything today. It's that kind of day. You might remember her from Watchman from 2009, which I feel like. And I don't know a lot about graphic novels, right? And all of these things. But the word on the street is like, this is like the best one ever.

Yeah, watchman. Right? Isn't that within the community? It is respected as that is correct. With what community of earth? Of earth. Yeah. Community of earth.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Billions. Heartbreak kid. I mean, she has such an incredible resume. She's here to talk more about. her work with On Our Sleeves, and it is Mental Health Awareness Month.

On Our Sleeves is the National Movement for Children's Mental Health, powered by the clinical experts of nationwide children's hospital. It's calling attention to this critical issue with a variety of initiatives running throughout May, which is massively important. We talk to Mullen about it a great deal, and it's just a conversation. I loved. Without further ado, let's welcome Mullen. of Rachel's little brain

All these thoughts are swirling Round and round inside To join us on this journey As we take a little ride We'll talk about dogs and kids and things We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings We'll talk about boys that a meet Because people die

We're so happy you're here And it's so good to see your beautiful face Thank you. You've always just been the warmest, kindest, best energy. Anytime I have run into you or, you know, and I feel like, was there an Adam Brody connection? There was an Adam Brody connection because we ended up, yeah, back in the day, we did a movie called The Romantics. Okay. Was it the Romantics? Yeah, it was the Romantics. Okay. Long time ago, before children were even around in my life, which is before children.

Which is, right, crazy. D.C. But, yeah, we did a movie together out in New York, and that's how I got to know him. Yeah, yeah. I think that's how I first met you. Yeah. I have no memory, and it's amazing that I remember this. Yeah, I'm shocked.

I know. It's very memorable. We were like, okay. But still, so memorable. Thank you. Yeah, and it's just, like I said, just you have the best. I don't always say aura, because I don't know, you ever say that. Your aura is purple.

I'll take an aura. Your aura is purple. You'll take an aura. One of the main things I know that you're supporting right now, which I think is so awesome, is on our sleeves with that organization, right? So we want to learn all about that because we are so about mental health and the accessibility, you know, and all of it. So we definitely want to start there. If that's cool. Yes.

Yes. Please, it's my passion right now. I'll just give you a little background on why I'm interested in, I guess, because I'm. I grew up with a mom who struggled with depression and it was never spoken about. And she was, it was more or less single mom. They separated when I was six. My dad and my mom and a stepdad came in for a little bit and then he was gone. And there was so much taboo around mental health back then.

Nobody spoke about it. I never talked to my friends about it. I didn't even know what to call it. My mom never told me what it was, you know, and I just knew that she'd go into these dark places and lock herself in her room for three days. And then I'd be like, is she going to be okay? I don't know what's happening. Then she'd come out.

She'd be fine. And I wish, I wish that back then as a child, there were conversations about it, that it was just normal. And this is how it is. And so many other people are suffering through the same conditions. And then step two was my half-brother struggled from really severe OCD as a teenager. And luckily, you know, it was through a lot of searching that we found cognitive. behavioral therapy and exposure therapy at Children's Hospital in Toronto. And that was really interesting to me to watch that because there were no resources again in the schools, no counselors,

nobody who understood what that was or what that meant and having to fight for extra time for exams. And so growing up around that, I decided I was going to become a child psychologist. Amazing. Which obviously I've not. Obviously worked out well. That didn't work out. Started universities, psychology major thought this is it, this is my calling, and had a meeting with the Health Minister of Toronto and said I want to reform the schools and I want to like, you know, make sure the counselors are nipping things in the by. I had two friends who committed suicide in high school. Oh my God. So there's a lot of mental health stuff that I was watching growing up and just not enough. Nobody knew how to speak about it and nobody was talking about it and no adults were

talking about it. So anyway, cut to now being introduced on our sleeves and having conversations with them and kind of understanding what their organization is doing, which is destigmatizing mental health conversations. They have something called Operation Conversation right now, which is on their website, which is so resourceful. And anybody can go into it and find so many resources from parents, caretakers, teachers, they have whole curriculums that you can introduce into your classrooms. Amazing. I think they've reached thousands of schools at this point, if not more.

I don't know the statistics. But anyway, I just loved the idea that you could go in and click on a topic, say, anorexia or bullying or whatever it is that your child is suffering from. And you don't know how to talk to them about it. And they have a conversation. They have conversation starters about those topics. Amazing. And, you know, a lot of people don't have the money or the access to therapy. And when you do go into, you know, looking into public, you know, pro bono therapy, it's like a six-month wait list.

And so they have tools for you sort of while you wait, how to talk to your child about what's going on in their life. So I just felt like this is super important. I've spoken to a lot of parents after COVID and all the anxieties and mental health issues that their kids have experienced since. My son being one of them with a lot of separation anxiety that we had to work through. And we're lucky because we have resources. We have people. It's something that I've been acutely aware of, obviously, my whole life and been interested in. But I've been starting conversations with parents in the school yard and going,

how is your kid doing since COVID? Have you experienced anything different or, like, how are you guys coping? Across the board, there hasn't been one single parent who has not had something to say about the mental health of their child. which is crazy. Yeah. But also beautiful to go, everyone's more willing to talk about it now, I think. We're living in a society where it is on its own being desigmatized. And I say that living in Los Angeles, which seems pretty progressive.

I don't know about the rest of America. I don't know about the rest of the world. But I would love for this to be a global movement of let's start talking as much as we can talk about physical health. You know, like my stomach's hurting or my knee is shot or whatever. you know, I'm struggling with this right now. Yeah. And I had a really hard time myself asking for help and sharing and being vulnerable in my darkest times and kind of just went inside and went, I got this.

You know, I'm a survivor. I got everything on my own. And then once I decided to start opening up to my wonderful group of friends, it was like this beautiful support net just presented itself. And it wasn't, there was no judgment. If anything, there was just, we brought us all closer, which I know is a lot of. which I know is a logical thing to say, but I didn't know that that's what was going to happen.

I just thought I would be a burden if I shared all of my stuff. All that to say, this organization is bringing you all the resources that you need in order to start conversations, in order to help lines, whatever you need, you've got it on our sleeves. I think it's the most important thing. Yeah. You know? And the kids are in school and like, when are you ever going to fucking use trigonometry?

Or like, whatever. Unless you do a certain job that require it. But it's like, why are we not paying attention in education? Yeah. For this, because it is so much more massively important. Yeah. Absolutely. It's like how you're developing as a human. And it's hard to be human. It's so hard to be human. Well, especially if no one's, you don't have the right mentors, you know, and your parents usually aren't the right mentors. There's so much stuff in between parents and children. Sure. Family patterns and, you know, agendas or whatever. But if you have. You hear about, you know, kids who have these amazing coaches.

Yeah. And they put them on the right track. And their life is great because of their coach. Right. It's, I think that if we brought in, you know, my son goes to a charter school and their main focus is social emotional learning. That's what my kids are going to go to. I wonder. Yeah, exactly.

But it has been such a blessing that, I mean, again, I, my utopian dream is that schools start bringing in actual courses. Life courses, bring in life coaches and teach these kids. You know, I have a friend who is a leadership consultant, and she created this course. I went and did a weekend with her and learned her methods and all that kind of stuff. And she created this course for kids in Dumanaut detention centers. Wow. And so we did a 12-week course. I was her co-leader, and we worked with these boys who, you know, come from gangs and are serving their time.

And it was phenomenal to watch just the shift that was happening after 12 weeks of helping them do values mining and aligning themselves with their values and teaching them leadership skills and tools and just like little things that they just never had access to. Right. And all of a sudden they started with like, you know, just dissing each other. By the end, they were acknowledging each other. They were talking about their values and what they were going to do when they got out, what they were going to do different. It's stuff like that. We go, this can change the world if we start talking about it and focusing on it. Right.

And bringing it into schools and teaching it. I think it's time to start demanding it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. To be honest. Yeah. I really do, especially as parents, I think it's our job to advocate for what they need

in a way where we don't stay quiet about it and demand that it be addressed because people are suffering. Yeah. everywhere. Yeah. Quietly suffering. Quietly suffering. I do have a question for you on that.

And I've noticed this quite recently that a lot of women that have privilege or success or these kind of big lives have been more quiet about their depression because they feel as if, well, I shouldn't be depressed. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I shouldn't, like there's this kind of thankful and grateful for what I've got. Correct. Have you experienced that in your own life? Do you think that contributed to you being quiet about your struggles? No, I don't. I've, luckily, you know, knock on wood, I haven't struggled with depression. You're so lucky.

Honest truth. You know, it skipped a generation. My mom didn't get passed on. I've had my own struggles as far as, you know, having a child and going through divorce when he was only four months old. Oh, my goodness. He was four months old. months old. And so that was a big, that was a hard one. But it was, I guess, to answer your question is, yeah, a lot of it, which I've talked a lot to my therapist about, is, you know, I've got a great life. And I do. I have a great life. And so, and she keeps reinforcing, yes, of, yes, you do. And that's wonderful. But you also have feelings. Right, right. You also are allowed and entitled to feelings. and what you're feeling is what you're feeling.

And the beauty of that, the divorce at such a young age, which was detrimental, of course, in so many ways. And I felt like such a failure because my parents divorced. And I thought, I'm not going to let this happen. And I'm going to waste. And then it happened even earlier. But at the same time, I tried those look for a silver lining. And the silver lining was that one of my best girlfriends moved in with me, I've known since we were 12. She moved in and for a year and a half, we raised my son together.

That's the best. It was incredible. That is like the dream. So I didn't have time to be really that sadden because I gained so much. Oh, my God. And all of my friends showed up. Oh, my God. It's amazing.

Amazing. Now, that's not to say that like a couple years later when it just, everything was sinking in and I had to take a year to just go, all right, who am I now? Now, who am I as a single woman? Who am I as a mother? Who do I want to be? You know, so it was a whole, like, recalibrating. I decided not to even look at that for the first year and a half when my girlfriend was there. Oh, you had a four months old. Yeah, you had a little busy. Sure. Sure, for sure. And then so the time when you took the time, what did you do to kind of get to know yourself? Therapy. Okay. And I took a course in transcendental meditation. Awesome. Or not to meditate. Yep. And stopped fucking around with every guy that walked in the door. Oh, wow. That's always a move. Left some space. Left some space. I went nuts for a while. I was just like, you know what. Well, you should. Screw it. I was in a relationship for 11 years. This is super fun. I'm going to get out there and have some fun. And then I thought, nope, I don't want to give out that. I don't want to give my energy. I'm giving it up too easy.

Yeah. I want to save space for somebody, maybe. I want to save space for somebody, maybe. I want to. I wasn't even sure if that's what I wanted, but I just wanted to save space for myself at that moment and check in with myself and not just go nuts. And that was really scary and beautiful and lonely and sad. That was a bit of a sadness there. Again, not a depression. At that time when I was going through that journey, I had my other best girlfriend and her husband, and they just had a newborn baby. We were all living together in New York because I was shooting billions there. Oh, wow.

And she was nanning. She'd quit her job as a preschool teacher. She stayed home with my son and her son. Oh my gosh. So again, another silver lining. And I had her support throughout that crazy time of like self-reflection and, you know, going inward and we'd sit at the end of the night. And she had just become a mom and like sat there with a bottle of wine and just going,

oh my God. This is hard. Yeah. There's a lot to consider right now. Oh, yeah. For sure. I mean, you bring these things into the world and you've no idea how to do it. Nope.

And like you think, you know, your parents and you, you. whatever you learn from that, which is questionable, of course, but you know, you're thrown into it without anything and to have the support of the best friend. I think I would choose a best friend over a partner if I had the choice. I mean, it's so much easier because you got your own rules, which might not necessarily be the best thing, but you have, I mean, again, this, my best friend is also the leadership consultant, coach, who's like a life coach. So she has all the tools. Right. And she's the one who got me to. ask for help and to be vulnerable. So she was also an exceptional friend who like had all the tools

where I was like, my ex doesn't have those tools. Right. We wouldn't have been able to talk things through properly. Right. You know, so yeah. Yeah, there's something to it. I'm so grateful for that. My friend sent me something on Instagram recently that I forgot what they were calling it, but single moms living together. Like it's like a movement. It's a thing. And she's a single mom as well. And you know, there really is something to it. Yeah. It takes a village. The communes of mentality. I mean, that's why, that's why everyone did it back in the day. I'm like, let's go churn some butter, you guys. Like, I'm going to churn you some butter. Oh, it would be great. It would be amazing. So, you know, you talked about when you were growing up and your mom and you didn't know

what was going on, the depression and everything. Did it get to a point where you guys were able to talk about it and understand from her? Yeah. I mean, it took a while. Yeah. The depression was called out, of course, probably in my teenage years. And, but there still wasn't. I mean, she explained what it felt like. But she also just didn't have, she didn't have the tools to understand and work on herself and all that stuff. So it was just, there was a lot of friction between us as a teenager and ultimately ended in me moving out at 16. But since, you know, since I've grown up as well and gotten a bit more tools and capabilities on conversation starters with her. We've been able to really get a better understanding of what we both went through and, you know, forgive and come together in a really different beautiful way.

And also I have a better understanding that that, you know, what depression is and you can't help it. And, you know, it's just the things I didn't know when I was younger. So, yeah, we've had an interesting journey for sure. Yeah, I bet. I'm just thinking about that and growing up as. child and stuff, you know, I mean, and it makes so much sense, and you're advocating for, but I mean, for children especially. Yeah.

Because, yeah, it's, well, they don't know. I mean, your child, your child doesn't know, we're the ones to lead them, right? To guide them. They have these big feelings. They don't know how to control or what they are. Totally. And I don't necessarily know how to manage that either. You know, we're all trying here.

Yeah. And I think the honesty is really important with our kids, too, because they're so. They're so close to their animal instincts and they read us so well. That is something that I so admire with kids and I don't want to. I hate watching them get jaded over time. Right. I hate seeing that innocents go away. I know.

But it's life. You know, part for the course. Of course. But at the same time, we've tried, you know, we have a little boy. There's now 10 and he is so open with his feelings. And I've really made an effort to keep open communication about feelings and that feelings are okay. And I've had to work on that myself because I've been so much like, everything's great. Right.

It's all going to be good because my dad is super positive. And I remember sitting in a therapy session once and we talked about the breakup and how it was delivered to me that my parents were breaking up. And I, in my little head, thought, oh, my God, my dad's not going to be able to be my dad anymore because he was moving to Sweden. back to Sweden. Oh, wow. And I was so devastated and my dad just said, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be great. You're going to come and spend the summers with me and we're going to have so much fun and, you know, made the best of it. And that was his way of doing it. And I always adopted that trying to find the best version. And I was going through my divorce and I talked to my therapist about it. And I said, you know, but I got to be strong from my son. And she goes, do you? Or do you just

have to be you and show him what a human is? And like to just show him all the feel. So he grows up because we, you know, we have to model it all. And I thought, oh my God, you're right. I don't know how to do that. I know. I don't want to do that. That feels so not natural. It's like, it's like, no, no, everything's fine. It's good. This happened. No, but it's good. And yeah. Broad Ideas is supported by Manscaped. Ladies, June is just around the corner. And my guess is that you haven't purchased a Father's Day gift, am I right? Well, look no further than the sponsors of today's show, because our friends at Manscaped are dedicated to upgrading his grooming game from face to waste.

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Even like how things like last night were going to sleep. My daughter, she's been having issues at school with her best friend is now wanting a different best friend and like the other girl like got up and wouldn't sit next to my daughter and then, you know, she went to sit next to the other girl that she wants to be best friend. Anyway, and I'm trying to navigate this. And obviously, this isn't as deep or, you know, whatever. It's still just trying to navigate and how to communicate and what you are honest about or what you're just like, it's all fine.

Yeah. You know, and it's just basically like, I understand that you feel like that makes you feel bad. That wouldn't make me feel good either, you know? And of course you can feel that way, but also don't play with them. Yeah. Well, you know, I just heard something. And I've said this a million times on this podcast. people may get sick of it, but I'll say it a million more times. More is caught than taught.

So we can teach them all day long, but if we're not modeling it, they're not catching it. And so we have to show them what it looks like to have big feelings and whether it's express it, get healthy outlets for it, find our voice in it, all those things, because we can teach them if we're not doing them, they won't register it. Absolutely. And do you guys know who Dr. Amen is? No, I don't know Dr. Amen. So he's amazing.

He's a holistic or functional medicine psychiatrist. Okay. Oh. And he does these brain scans and works with mental health. So he was saying there's two things that are the most important about being a parent. And he was talking about never, helping your child solve their problems. And I was like, what? I do that all the time. I'll be like, well, maybe you can see it this way or maybe you can see it this way. Oh, here's a solution.

Or here's a solution. And he's basically like, you're teaching them not to rely on themselves. Right. And so more our job as parent is to be like, well, what do you think? Yeah. Right. Absolutely. What do you think would be a good solution? because it's so natural to want to help them. But his whole thing was being firm in that. Wow. I know. Yeah.

And it's hard because your kids will go, but I just want to know. But you're so right that the open-ended questions and saying, you know, well, what do you think could have been a better choice right then and there? Or like, what are you just challenging them to grow their capabilities is really important. And really hard. Really hard. Simple, but not easy. Not easy.

I'm like kicking myself. I told her. mean is don't play with her. But it's like she needs to think about what. Right. And that's a hard part. I mean, don't kick yourself. We all do that.

That's why he made a video putting it out there. Right. And I remember I learned that in psychology. We had this thing where we couldn't speak for 10 minutes. You had had to listen to a client share and you can't say a word for 10 minutes. And then afterwards it was like a 20-minute thing where you're not allowed to give any feedback. And it was like nails on a chalkboard because I wanted. to offer solutions or advice or guidance.

Every single time the person came to their own solution. Yep. And you were like, fuck. Here's what's better than mine. I did that exact same thing. Did you? Yeah. And I've gotten certified as a coach, like a life coach now as well.

Oh, me too. Yeah. Wait, did you go to the same? No, I did. Oh, my God. But that exact thing, we did that. And the woman was going, and she got mad at me at one point. She's like, you're not saying anything.

And I'm having these troubles with my daughter. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so bad they wanted to just tell you what to do. And then by the end, she calmed down. She figured it out. It's that whole thing of like you ask them the questions. And ultimately, everyone knows the answers. Right. Even our kids.

They have ideas of what it could be, you know, and then let them test it out. Right. But again, I don't do that all the time either. I'm so, I so badly wanted to say, well, don't do it. Right. Or just, you know, get over it or let it go. But they just have to figure it. It's hard. It's so hard. Yeah. And everything is so like every, you know, it's not heavy,

but like just the amount of anxiety I'll feel if like, did I do this right? Did I say the right thing? Is this the, you know, am I going to fuck her up? Or like, you know, because there's so much pressure. You're definitely going to fuck her up in some way. In some way. Yes, of course we are. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we do. Yeah. But hopefully it's not detrimental. But hopefully we can give them the tools, you know, if they have support to figure it out. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. And it is every parent is asking themselves the same question.

Hopefully. Yeah. Well, hopefully. Hopefully. If you're asking yourself that you're aware that you're, you know, that you care. Right. Yeah. You know, so that's a good place to be.

For sure. One would hope. Yeah. But I think, you know what I was, when you brought up Toronto and you brought up the Children's Hospital? Yeah. It's called sick kids, right? Yeah.

I've always been like, it's an amazing hospital. Yeah. It's so good. The name. I feel like maybe. Yeah, I've never even thought about it. It's been around forever. And the name's been around forever.

I had this conversation recently with, he's like the CMO at Children's Here. Yeah. I'm like, how do you feel about the name? He's like, well, that's what it is. And I was like, okay, I'll stand by your opinion. But I've always felt a little weird that's called sick kids because you're calling the kids sick. I know. I guess you're right.

I mean, I guess it is a thing of like you say, oh, that makes me feel weird too. Yeah, it does. Healing kids. Right. Like, put it, make it sound positive? Make it better, kids. I am not. It's an incredible hospital.

They do amazing things. I'm not saying anything like that. I've always been like, it sounds like more of a, like it should be a positive spin. Yeah. I agree. It's all in the mind. All I can think about. Children's hospital.

You know? Yeah. There you go. There you go. Simple. Same thing, but a little less, I don't know. All I can think about is how lucky you are that you don't experience depression. Oh, yeah.

And I'm wondering. Just out of curiosity in your lineage, did it skip generations? Or was it just your mom? Was it circumstantial? Was there substance abuse or anything? I think that, so I guess that's a, on my dad's side, there isn't depression. On my mom's side, it runs in the family. Okay.

For sure. Got it. Her parents had severe substance abuse for sure, self-adication. Yeah, yeah. And so because of that, they were all children of alcoholics. And that makes an impact. Big time. Obviously.

For sure. So, yeah, I would say that most of my aunts and uncles on my mom's side have suffered depression. We still are working through it. But I think because I had my father as a model as well and part of his DNA. Yeah. And sort of took the bull by its horns when I was 16 and moved out and realized that I maybe didn't have, I hadn't had the best mentor in my mom just because of that. Like she gave me so many great things. I'm not saying, I love my mom.

Let's get this straight. I think she's wonderful. And I think she did the best with what she was given. Yeah. Struggling through depression and trying to raise a child. Yeah. Brutal. I put myself in her shoes and I go, that must have been so hard.

Right. But I think having somebody to look at and go, oh, you can choose that. Obviously, I didn't have that wording. But I was like, my dad is positive and he seems good and fine. And like, what's he doing? Maybe I'll do that. And then understanding early on that there is a choice, you know, someone said there's, you've got this canvas and it's blank and you get to paint whatever you want on it. It's actually your choice, whatever you want to make it. That's that made so much,

it was so simple. And I just said, that makes so much sense to me. I don't have to take all the past stuff. I can decide to do it my way. And what is my way? I don't know. I'll figure it out long the way. But I definitely don't want to. You know, again, I didn't grow up. My mom is not an alcoholic in that the way that her parents were. So I didn't grow up in that environment. I just grew up, just not understanding certain parts of depression. Right. Mom's tired. Yeah.

Yeah. And like not feeling well. There. No, there. Yeah. So I've, I've, there was a point where I went through depression. I had never had it before. And it was, you know, once I got older.

And I was like, in my bed and my daughter would be around and be like, oh, my stomach hurts, you know. So the next time I literally had a stomach ache, you know, I ate something gnarly. And she was like, she was like, do you need to lay in bed? bed, are you going to be okay? You know, so she now connects, if my stomach hurts, I'm going to be in bed for a while because I don't feel well. Of course.

And I'm like, oh, fuck, you know? But, like, how do you talk to a, she was five at the time, a five-year-old or however, no, I don't know how she was. How do you talk to a young child? And you're going, like, you can't explain. I don't think you can. Or a toddler or whatever. I think that was beautiful.

And as she grows up, you can explain that if she even remembers that those moments you were struggling through something. And those will be beautiful bonding moments for you guys, maybe when she's struggling through something or to know that you are connected that way. But and also that's, those are the moments that people could call on this website and go, oh, this is how I have this conversation specifically.

It's so brilliant. So when you're at a loss, you go, okay, I need, oh, right, I can go here. I don't have someone to call right at this moment. It's just accessible. Yeah, accessibility is that key. It's just to be able to have. that help. Yeah. Because I would have loved it. Yeah. You know. It's another thing. I'm like kicking myself. Like, oh, what did I do wrong? Yeah. Because it's constant as a parent. You got to start kicking yourself.

You got a saw. I know. More is caught than taught. Well, she doesn't see me kicking myself. No. Energetically will feel it. You've got it. You're doing great. You're an amazing mother. Just as long as you're giving her love. Always. Always. Oh, we're so close. And, you know, there's so much love. But you just do one thing, you know what I mean? It's the parent guilt. Oh, it's so real. It's never ending. It's never ending. I mean, you have a 10-year-old son.

Yeah. She has two boys. Oh, you do? Yeah. How old are your boys? Seven and four. Okay. So you're in it.

I'm deep in it. I have a question about this. So the other night, Elliot, my oldest, was sick like a week ago. Yeah. Gave him cough syrup to go to sleep and these melatonin gummies because he couldn't sleep because of his cough. Yeah. Okay. A few days later, he asked for it again. I come from alcoholism on both sides of the family. He's sudden. I'm not saying he's an alcoholic. But he came and he wanted the melatonin gummies and the cough syrup. And now he's come for it every night. And I was like, oh, he wants a state change. He wants to feel something other than what he's feeling. And that's what we need to be able to work. with our children on.

Right. Is don't we all want to feel different than what we're feeling at different times? Sure. Right? At what time? Yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely.

And it's like, so how, like with that website and with the work you're doing, are there little tools you think that would help with that? I'm going to say absolutely because it's so dense on this website. There's so many topics that are discussed. And if not, there are contact you can reach out. Yeah. But I'm not 100% sure because I haven't. I mean, I've doped in a million times and looked at everything.

But it's, again, once you go in, you'll see there's links to links to links to links. So I think you can find pretty much anything. I have friends who give their kids melatonin every single night. Oh. Isn't there like that? Isn't it controversial now or something? I feel like I read something recently about. I'm sure it's controversial.

Puberty. Is that what it is? Yeah. And linked to puberty issues. Oh, really? Melatonin? I think that's one. Interesting.

Yeah. Because I thought because it's naturally produced that that wasn't, but I don't know. Jeff always said, my husband always says that you don't want to. The doctor. You don't want to give them too much melatonin because then the body will stop producing it on its own. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. Maybe we should tell my friends that.

Yeah. So let's call them right now. I'm going to call them after on the way home. I'm going to slow it down. With your kids, like just wanting to feel different, whether it's sugar. or a show or anything or a chance. You're like, oh, no, I'm just box. A hundred percent.

Shows and sugar are the two main ones. Right. Well, at 10 years old, it's also video games. Right. You know, Roblox? Are you in the Roblox world? Oh, my. It is a thing.

But the thing that is really cool about it, we try to keep them off of YouTube. That's my least favorite. Same. Because that goes down to a weird vortex rabbit hole kind of thing. And we've talked about that too. We're trying to put a lot of, what's it called, responsibility on him and just explaining things and, you know, saying like, if you're honest, we will never get mad. You just have to be truthful.

And if there are videos that you've seen that you have questions about, ask us and tell us, we're not going to ban you from it. We'll talk about it because he's nervous that he'll never let him watch YouTube again. We don't let him watch that often. But Roblox is interesting. I have like a love-hate for it because there are some of the games that are really great. Great. Build a boat that he's like building these whole existences. And he's on FaceTime with like five of his friends and they're all in it.

He's like, come on, jump in my spaceship that I created. And they all go. I was like, interactive with each other. And there's the other ones that are like. Here's your gun. And they're like, it's almost like a horror movie. Oh, God. And then you can't sleep at night.

I'm like, well, you made that choice. Right, right. You know, you can't sleep, and I'm not going to sleep with you. Yeah. So it is for sure, I think, mind-altering. We've had the sugar talk with them, too. Oh, really? All the talks of food and how they make you feel and how you just be aware of those things.

And he has a girlfriend who he's had since first grade. What? What? Are you kidding me? They go away for weekends. What do you mean? By themselves? No.

With their parents? Oh, like, I know. They're like, bye. We're taking an Uber. The parents are so lovely and they're like, so we're going to this, like, we're going to the Wolf Lodge for a weekend. They just want to come with us. They fucking love that place. Okay, they love it.

Have you ever been? Yeah, we just went. Oh, my God. I went with his girlfriend the first time and then he wanted to do that for his birthday. So some of his friends came and we did it. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. You can't do anything but do it.

I did have drinks by the pool. Yeah, all day. I mean. It was great. Just like, just a little bit to take the edge off all day. Yeah. But ultimately, we actually, it's that thing where you see your kids having great time. They have the time of their lives.

And you're crying from crying. Totally. Everything sucks. But you're like, this is heaven for kids. Yeah. They're having the best time. They still talk. My daughter went in January.

She still has her bracelet on to this day. Oh, I love that. It is decrepit. It is disgusting. It is not blue. It is white. It is. She will not take it off.

He did the same thing from the first one. Did he? Like, I'm not taking it off. Okay. But they go on trips together. They go on trips. They go on trips. And we love this family so much. You know, they've been together for... They've been together. I mean, they have more successful a relationship than, like, most adult couples. But they go in, you know, obviously you're at Wolf Lodge, a lot of crappy food and a lot of, you know, and it's a vacation and it's a trip.

And he would get stomach aches, of course, because you don't eat that much shit. Right. Normally on a daily basis. And so, you know, we had that talk. And recently he had a sleepover at his girl. friend's house and they went back to their place. I mean, it's so platonic, but you know, they're like, she's a bit of a tomboy and it's perfect. Yeah. And he asked the dad, they made pizza and he goes, do you mind, can you make me some broccoli and steak so I can just have something healthy because I just don't want to get a stomach

egg? So he's taken agency over his own body. Wow. And the dad texted me. He's like, I've never seen a kid ask me this before when there's pizza on the table. Oh, my God. So I think to come back around to your question is giving them the awareness to understand it and what that alteration is and to go, you know, your iPad is a vice. It's not a passion.

It's not something that's good for you. It's okay. We all have vices in that. But we have to be aware of them and self-regulate. Wow. Understand our bodies and ourselves. And same conversation about the melatonin, you know, whatever it is. is like, yeah, it makes you feel good. It helps you sleep better. But what are some other things

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Give the gift of skin care to the man in your life to make father time a thing of the past with Caldera Lab. You know what? You just made such a great point because it's the exact same thing as Dr. Amon was saying. It's like helping them, giving them the power to understand their own body, the effects and then like even taking it further and asking them like do you have any other ideas of what could help you sleep totally right and that could be a great way but here's the struggle for me as far as like the food conversation goes I struggle with putting too much focus and attention on what's in your food and what's the you know what I mean because then I think that has the potential

of having a negative impact of like you know being worried being worried or being like what's in this What ingredient is this? And it's like... I mean, this is just my personal opinion. I think that I never talked about the ingredients per se. It's just like, these are healthy foods. These are not so healthy foods. And you should have all of them, but more of the healthy stuff and less of this stuff.

And just like balance it out. So if you've had an ice cream cone today, probably shouldn't have dessert after dinner or, you know, we don't do dessert every day anyway. But I think just just asking... And we do. No judgment. But he gets really affected by sugar. Right. So does her oldest.

Yeah. Boys get really hyperactive. Or at least we've noticed that. And he starts to like almost tick a little bit. Like his body almost convulsives. And you're like, this isn't good for you. So we go strawberries with whipped cream is like a great dessert. That's great.

And like things that aren't full of sugar and we tell him about this and what it does to his body. And we go, do you notice that? When you did this, it felt like that. And you were saying your tummy hurt. And so we're just giving him an understanding of the links because he's self-confessed. Like, I'm not feeling good after. And we go, oh, well, what do you think it was? And he goes, I think it was probably the last night he had to dip, you know, the dipping dots or whatever they're called. Oh, they love those dipping dots. And then he was like, I had a stomach ache going to bed last night. I was like, oh, you did? What do you think it was? He's like, I'm pretty sure it was a dipping dots.

Right. Right. He just understands it. And he knows. And I said, You know, sometimes it's a crapshoot. Sometimes you're going to tummy egg. Sometimes you won't. But you take a chance because you have to be able to indulge. Right. But we don't discuss the ingredients or like, you know, not just because I worry about that too. I don't want them to be worried.

And hyper-aware. No. Yeah. And would that turn into, you know. Like eating disorder or something? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a fine line for sure.

It is a fine line. But awareness, I think, is key for them to have their own self-awareness. And he's going. going away to first year ever to sleep awake camp this summer. Oh, how long is he gone? Ten days. Wow. Yeah.

It's a big. Does he have friends swing? He's got three of his best guy friends from school. Got it. But he's definitely nervous, but he's also excited. But it's that whole thing of like you're going to have lots of food choices. And so you have to make the choices. I'm not making them for you.

Right. You know what makes you feel good and you know what doesn't. How do you feel about him going away for the first time? I'm really nervous. Yeah. Yeah. I'm super excited. Yeah.

You know, I said to my husband, like, this would be great. And we can go do something and we can do our own trip. And I don't think I'll be able to do that. Right. I think I'll have to stay home and wait for the letters to come in. Like send him letters. And then if this all goes well, then next year, if he loves it, he'll go back. And then I'll be able to relax.

Yeah. And I know it's going to be amazing. Of course. I was 10 years old when I went to my first sleep away camp. And I loved it. Super nervous going. Yeah. But loved it.

Yeah. And went back. every year until I was 15. I'm so jealous. Aren't you jealous of him a little bit right now? You kind of want to do it. Not really. No.

I never did it. That's why. That's why. I see. Did you? I did it once. You did it? I did.

And then the second, I was supposed to go back the next year. We got to the parking lot to go. All the buses were there. And I wouldn't get on it. I wouldn't do it again. But I was not the kid that slept out. I always got picked up from a sleepover. Right.

I just didn't do well. I should probably dive into that little. I was about to say you're no different now. I know I don't like to sleep out. Well, that may, I mean, I love my own back to. I mean, yeah, that's normal, right? Yeah, but I just remember, like, not, like that panic attack, like as a kid and the anxiety and I just would not get on the bus. I get it.

That's him a little bit too. He's not keen. He'll sleep at his girlfriend's house and, like, one other friend, but it's still a bit of a push. So that's his biggest concern is the sleeping. But he's going to be great. I think so, too. He's going to be a step into independence and trusting himself and, you know, all the stuff we're talking about. I think 10 is.

I feel like I was like second grade. Maybe I'm wrong. That sounds young. That sounds really. I'm not probably wrong. Young kids there too that are younger than him that are like seven and eight. I think 10 is good. Did you go to sleep away camp, Rob?

I want to go to sleep awake camp. Ever? You want to want to? I do. Go glamping with your friends. That's a great idea. We're in. Yes.

Did you do that? You're going to sleep away camp? That sounds great. But I want to do like all the cheesy stuff. Like I want to do the water balloon. Like I want to do it all. Do you think all camp, just water balloons are just standard? Yeah.

There are water balloons. You can plan a great camping trip and all the things you want to bring and go somewhere where there are ziplines and, you know, archery and do it all. Oh, my God. Let's do it. I feel like it's an East Coast thing, though, more. Yeah. You know?

I think you're right. Like we did a lot of camping in Toronto. We were up in Canada. Yeah, yeah. All lakes. And we go camping every... Where did you grow up in Toronto? Like pretty central.

Like in the city? In the city. Toronto proper, yeah. All around. Moved around a lot. Yeah. Mainly like Bathurst and Eglinton area. Yeah.

Yeah. So that went to North Toronto there for a little bit. Yeah. Nice. And then lied and said, I was Catholic to go to a Catholic school with my then boyfriend because I was like, you're not going to Catholic school with all those girls and uniforms and short little skirts. I love it. I love that you can admit.

Like, no, no. No. You're not going without me. Where did you go at 16? I was modeling at the time. So I traveled. I went to Milan and Barcelona. At 16.

At 16. Alone. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. How do you do? Were you emancipated? No, not emancipated, but I can't remember how because the school.

It doesn't matter. Well, the high school, well, that they don't care in Europe. Yeah. They actually consider you in certain. countries, you're an adult at 16. I believe England is also that as well. Oh, really? But you're, yeah, so statutory rape is a different, you know, that's like at 15. You know, 16, you're an adult. You're considered an adult. So if a 40-year-old sees with a 16-year-old, that's okay. They think about that for a second. No, my, my computing and that's insane.

So I was probably, I'm Italy. I was definitely an adult in Italy. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. You know, but as far as high school in Toronto, they knew, I mean, I had my own apartment with my name on it on the lease and stuff. And so I don't remember how it went down. Maybe my mom wrote a note saying she doesn't live with me or whatever it was. How did she take it when you moved down at 16? Well, she started by kicking me out. Oh, okay. You're like, she was all about it. In one of her depression. Got it. It wasn't even, it wasn't like get out. It was just, it was more, it was really sad because she just said, I can't, I can't take care of you anymore. I can't do this. Wow.

You know, she was really down. And that was really hard. And I know it was really hard for her. And it wasn't what she wanted ultimately. But she was just... Had no control. Like she couldn't. Yeah.

And I just thought, this might be good for me anyway. And I was about to go travel and I'd just gotten a modeling agent and just thought, yeah, all right, I'm going to go do this. And then rented an apartment in Toronto with some other models and makeup artists and stuff like that and kind of toured the world. But that was... Milan and Barcelona was a real... sort of step into adulthood. For sure. At 16. And not a, not a nice one. It was not, they're, you know, modeling, the modeling world is not, is not great. When, I don't want to say that as like an all-encompassing, but starting out and, I mean, Milan, there was a BBC undercover

story about the so-called chaperones who brought young girls over and took them out. I mean, I know one of the guys who got arrested and took all the young girls out, gave them cocaine. I never try. I wasn't into that, but I was happy to take the free drinks. I mean, you're 16 at a nightclub. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. But they get, got a lot of the girls hooked on cocaine. And then they would say, oh, we'll sell it to you, but they'd sell it for double. And then they put it on their bill. So the girls never made any money. They're like, it's great because you'll lose weight for the runway shows. And I was called fat. I mean, I was probably at 120 pounds. I'm 140 now. Oh, my God. And I was back then, it was too large for Milan.

So I didn't get much work. And just, you know, we were trying to be ushered off to these older men who'd sit around dinner tables. We'd go out for dinner, be invited by the head of the modeling agency. And he'd have like two or three older men around the table. And then they'd kind of like be pointing at girls and choosing the girls that they wanted. Wow. I got approached by the head of the agency and just said, you know, Mr. So-and-so wants to take you out.

and he'll make you a big supermodel or whatever. And I was like, I'm not really interested in being a supermodel. I don't know where that guidance came from in that moment, but I was like, I'm not doing this. I just, it was a big full on no, I'm not going to do it. And there was another girl who's 14 who was brought over. And I remember she was living in the modeling houses that we were living in in the apartment.

And she came home one night in like a yellow Lamborghini with this older man who was in well into his 60s. And she came in in tears. I'm like, what's wrong? And she just said he just made me give him a blow job. And we all just went, you got to go home. You got to just go back home. I don't know what, like you're too young to be here.

No one's looking out for you. Her parents, her parents signed off to this chaperone. He was taking care of her. He's the one who was like just giving these girls out to like, it was track-face prostitution. Yeah, absolutely. So she was sent home. Anyway, this all got on. cover, thank God.

Oh, my God. These guys got, you know, sent to court. But it was, it was crazy. I'm traumatized just hearing. That is brutal. I've never heard one positive story about it. And yet, it looks so alluring and you're like, young girls. Young models, yeah.

I feel like most women that started modeling at a young age had a pretty dark experience with it. It's just a really adult world. and you're only just blossoming into womanhood and you're being dissected, your body's being dissected the way that you look and it has nothing to do with your personality or who you are. So it's a very strange thing to do as a teenager. I think once you are fully developed and well into your adulthood, that would be a great time to explore it.

And I mean, I had some great experiences to modeling in Canada and doing all the catalog work. Fun. Sears and things. Yeah. Those are normal people. And that's great. And we had a great time. But there is, you know, with any business, even say about Hollywood, too, there's this power thing and this dark underbelly to every business.

Sure. And this one just happens to have a really big one because you've got men who can be around really young girls who just don't know how to say no. Children. Oh, I don't like it. You know, just beautiful girls who don't know themselves yet. No. How could you? So it can be really, you have all.

these terrible people who put themselves in places of power and force the hand. Well, you luckily had, you know. Luckily in that moment. I mean, I was put in a situation where I had to go to a photographer's place on a weekend. And we were doing a photo shoot. It was just me and him. And I had to do my own hair and makeup and bring clothes. It was just like beauty shots.

He's like, okay, now take off your top. And that's normal. And I had my bra on. And he's like, oh, beautiful. and he kept coming up and touching my face. And he goes, okay, now take off your bra. And I was like, I'm not really comfortable doing that. You guys, he threw the light stand at my head.

He missed me at my head. But I was like, oh, my God, he got so mad at me that I had said, no. I went back to my agency. By the way, this is elite models in Italy. And this is all, again, uncovered by the BBC. Yeah, yeah, of course. And I had elite models in Toronto and they were wonderful. Right.

But this was just the specific person. Specific that's been uncovered. But I went back and I was like, this is what happened. And you guys have to like do something about it. Yeah. And they just said, well, he's one of our best photographers. There's nothing we can do. You know, you should have taken your bra off.

What? Because he does beautiful pictures. Are you kidding me? Nope. I'm not kidding you. It was insane. You should have taken your bra off. Oh, I thought you were just telling her.

You should have. I was like, Olivia. Wow. Okay. I don't let me ask you. You got a dark side. You should have. It would have been fun. Would have been fucking fantastic. Oh, my God. That is, that is so unbelievable.

I know. Like, it just goes to show you how, for how long have, like, women been silenced and, like, you just look like this or you just do this or, you know, and that's what you're good for, like, essentially. Yeah. And you try to speak up for yourself and they tell you, well, you should have just shown your boobs. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. I wonder where the strength came from because I feel like at that age, I would have been scared maybe. I don't know.

I was terrified. Yeah, I feel like that's really scary. Totally. And I wasn't good at saying no. I was a yes girl. Yeah. But I guess there were just a few moments in my life where it just came out. Yeah.

It was like someone else speaking and I just said, no, I just can't. Yeah. I just can't do it. And then there have been moments where I've been in states of like just frozen states going, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. But I just can't speak. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So it's like been different. But luckily I had the wherewithal just for those two situations to just go, nope, this just feels wrong. And I'm going to go with that feeling. Just can't do it. Do you still experience that with your acting? No, no. Not at all. When did you make the switch?

Made this switch in my early 20s. Well, I was doing TV commercials in Toronto. And putting myself through university. Right. And then that just became too. There was so much happening. And I just thought, you know what? I'll just do this.

I was so burnt out on school. And I just thought, I'll just do this for a little while. And then got flown out to L.A. for a screen test that they didn't get. What was it? Do you remember? Yeah, it was the hot chick. Oh, the hot chick. Oh, the hot chick.

Oh, the hot chick. Love Schneider. Yeah. Is that Anna? No. Yeah. Yeah. It's on a fair. Rachel, who got my part and now I can't remember. Also Canadian. He's in the notebook. Rachel McAdams. Thank you. Rachel McAdams. Just blanked there for a second.

Oh, my God. Yeah. So that was what brought me out here. And so I was old enough. I mean, of course there were, you know, approaches by many producers and whatever. It was just, uncalled for, but not. Right. Not to that level. No Harvey Weinstein moments. Not like full blown no. No, no. I've been really lucky with the people that I've worked with. Yeah. I've felt pretty comfortable and it's been great. I guess maybe coming from the modeling world, I was like, oh, there's nothing. I don't have life throwing at my head. Like, yeah. This is a piece of cake. It's very different. Yeah. Talking about how many seconds my nipples are going to show on screen. Great. I've got someone looking out for me. That's hilarious. Do you? Have you gotten naked on film?

Yeah, I have on a heartbreak kid with Ben Stiller. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Of course. So good. Full bone. So good. I am always okay with it if it doesn't feel gratuitous.

If it has a purpose and I don't have a lot of, I think growing up in Sweden having a Swedish background. Yeah. There's a lot less shame around body and nudity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not that that and every, and this is a different situation, of course, of like being naked on screen. But I personally thought it was, they were funny scenes. And I thought. Yeah, it wasn't like, yeah, I get it.

And everyone was so respectful and it was lovely and it, you know, it served a purpose. And so, yeah, I didn't have an issue with it. Well, that's also different when you sign up for something and you know you're going to do it. And it's done with respect. And it has, it's serving the piece. And there's conversations around it. Right. And you feel protected.

Totally. Yeah. Closed set. Right. If you don't feel like, like whatever. you call cut whenever you need to. I mean, it was just, it was really handled with care. Right. And that was lovely. Right. That was really. Right. I know. I keep saying, I've said this before. Like, when I was young, I'm like, no way, I won't do new. And now that I'm older and you've had a kid and your

boob is out there all the time and you're feeling like, I don't care. Yeah. Sign me up now, you know, which is backwards because, you know, you probably pre-kid you want to, when you want to show it off. But yeah, yeah, I'm a unbeliever. But I so respect that to you. I respect both sides of the going to, I think, whatever your comfort level is. That's all that matters. I was like, no, I have to do this. Like, this makes me serious and I'm not going to do, you know, all these other factors. Sure.

When I grew up in a very modest, like, modest, comfortable, you know, it was never weird to be naked. I mean, that's within reason. Please expand on that. No, you know, but my mom always changed, like, whatever. Like, it wasn't a thing, you know. Natural. Yes, very natural. So I think that just came with not wanting to do it.

It was just more. But now she would love to do it. You know, I'm like, okay, so you're signing me up. Oh, God. Yeah. No, it's just different how you change you. It's almost like this more confidence you have. Like, as you get older and you know yourself fully.

Yeah. I think comes with, of course, everyone has insecurities. But I think it also comes along with this like, this is who I am. Like, I actually know who I am now. Absolutely. I think for each year as we get older, I'm loving my 40s. It's my favorite era so far. Yeah, we're with you.

I just feel like I know myself a lot better than I did in my 20s. But I had a great time in my 20s. I thought I knew myself in my 20s. And I think I know myself now. But I know that there's a lot more journey growing. But I'm excited for it. And I'm open to it and I have the tools for it now. Like, you know, there's so much more that comes with it.

Yeah. For sure. But yeah, you change over time. You do. One would hope. Right? Yeah, exactly. That you can evolve and change.

change. We might do a few little fun things. A little fun thing. Okay. What's your perfect burrito? Bean and cheese. Refried bean and cheese from home state. It's my favorite. Oh, the frio. But do you do it on flour or corn? I do corn. Okay. I prefer the flour. Is it because you don't, you just do corn for it? I got you. I use corn because I got a thing and I'm not allowed to do gluten. But I do like cheat every now and then. If you're going to cheat, I mean, those homemade, those flowers or teas are so good. So good. So good. I've had.

I've had them. Yeah. I do love just a plain bean and cheese free. It's so good. It's so good. I always have to order off like a kids menu because you can't get the plain bean and cheese unless you get off the kids menu at most places. You get it at Taco Bell. I mean, bean and cheese preto, no onions, extra red sauces.

That was our go-to. Delish. Any a night in our 20s? Yeah, exactly. Do you feel more comfortable being physically intimate or emotionally intimate? More comfortable, physically intimate. Just learning to be emotionally intimate now. Oh, wow.

Wow. How long have you been married to your husband now? To this one number two? Yes. It'll be five years in December. Oh, wow. And he's wonderful. He's helped so much with like the real intimacy that I didn't realize. Yeah, it's really cool.

Amazing. And how is it with your son and the stepdad relationship? He calls him dad. He calls him dad. Does he not have a relationship with his? He does. He has a relationship with his papa. His papa's back in Italy.

He's Italian, Italian. I knew. I knew he was Italian. Yeah. And so he moved there. I move back during COVID and is living there now. So he sees him in the summer. It's like you.

It's the same thing. He's in that wild. Wow. I know. But at least now I can go, this is. And so when my now husband and I got married, I had my stepdad and my dad walk me down the aisle so that my son could see that. Because I love my stepdad. My first stepdad.

Yeah. My mom got married a few times. Right? My first stepdad is the father of my brother, my half brother, who I adore. And had both them walk me down the aisle. So my son could see that this is just normal. normal and we're lucky we got two dads instead of one. Amazing.

So he has relationships with both. He calls my husband, dad, and his papa is papa. That's so sweet. And he goes to Italy in the summer? Yeah. It doesn't know too shabby, man. We go, we might skip this year, but we try to go and then hand him over for a week. Yeah.

My husband and I stay in Italy for a week. I mean, that sounds like the perfect setup. Totally. Oh, totally. You did that right. Yeah. Silver lining, guys. Silver lining.

Oh, gosh. You guys. What? I didn't write these, so I'm going through them here. Uh-huh. Oh, God. Yeah, Olivia, I can't. Oh, are they that bad?

They're bad. Okay. Quickie or long foreplay? Long foreplay. Yeah. I'll even go foreplay all the way and then even if it gets there great, but long for play with a quickie at the end. There we go. That's perfect.

That sounds like a good time. Yeah. You can do this one. It's mild. Oh, have you ever? Have you ever looked at your wiki feet page? She feet? Yeah.

Oh, no, I actually haven't. Yeah. I hate my feet. Do you know what wiki feet is? Yeah. I know that there's people who are obsessed. I know that there's a feet thing on Instagram or on Twitter maybe. I've had people reach out on one of those saying, can you send me pictures of your feet?

Right. But I'm like, no. Yeah. Apparently, like a foot fetish is maybe even number one of. Yeah, there's a website dedicated to people's feet. Oh, I don't want to say that. And then they have pictures of yours. No.

Yeah. How? And then they... They just zoom in. Like, if you have like open-toe shoes on on a red carpet. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I never take...

And I hate them so much that I never take care of them. So I like do the toenail painting after I put the shoe on, just the toes that are showing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we... Oh, are you kidding? So with you on that. Oh, I don't want to see this. But now, of course, I'm going to have to go look.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's showing me right now. I don't see feet. I see whole bodies. Oh, oh, this. What? God, people are weird.

I mean, all for it. Go for it. Whatever your thing is. My feet, really, guys? Yeah. I feel like I have a little cub feet. Oh, God. It's a thing.

Who would play you in a movie or who would you want to play you in a movie? Oh, wow. This won't make any sense, but I'd love for Tilda Swinton to play me. I love to tell this man. I get that. I would love that. All right. I really respect that answer.

Do you have a look-alike? Yeah, I have people who say Kate Hudson, Kate Bosworth. All the plates. All the Cates. I actually was talking to Marion Cotillard, at a party. You say that's a long time ago. Say it again.

Before kids, Marion Cotillard. I have such a crush on her. And she was talking to me. We got into a conversation. It was wonderful. And then at the end, she goes, and just to let you know, I love Blue Crush. And I was like, oh.

She thought I was Kate Bosworth this whole time, even though I had the same colored eyes. But anyway, yeah, I was crushed. But at the same time, I didn't correct her. I was like, thank you. Thank you, so. Love surfing. You're like, yes, it's a great movie. Oh, man.

Yeah, in that moment. But, yeah, the Cates are definitely. The Cates. And then I've gotten young, I've gotten young Sharon Stone. Oh. I liked that one, but I don't really see it. But I did like it. I mean, they're all. I see Kate Bosworth now. I never thought that. But now that you say it, I'm like, oh, I can see that. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. I mean, yeah. They're all good. Not mad at that. No, I'm not mad at that either. Yeah. Is there something you wish you could take back?

She's like my sweater. I left. Yeah. I am sure. I mean, I don't. I know. Some are hard on the stuff. spot for sure. Yeah, those ones are hard because then you start going deep and dark. I know. And then you're like, I don't believe in regrets. And you're like, nothing. Yeah. You know, there are regrets, of course, but I don't know. It's probably something I said to my mom back when I was a teenager. Oh, yeah. But I don't know what specifically. Yeah, sure. That's a great answer though. Yeah. Yeah. Because we all have. And we can be assholes as teenagers. You know what sucks though? Even now, like who I'm the biggest asshole to is my mom. Yeah. You know in general. Like, that's the person you take it out on.

And it sucks because I love her more than anything. I know. I know. And like, amazing. As long as she knows that, too. Yeah, of course. There's a balance. Yeah.

You know? It's called range. Yeah. Range. I know you are the same. I do the same thing. Yeah. Big time.

It's terrible. But that we're closest to. Yeah. We need to get it together. We do need to get it together. We do need to get it together. Girls. Right?

I don't know. Any others? Any others here? There was something I was going to ask. Oh, gosh. She has all the sex questions. I'm banned from talking about sex. Why?

No. Because it's, anytime I say anything, it's just lately gone. Viral places. And I'm like, I'm mum at the moment. And anything you don't want to answer, you just say past. Do you remember your first orgasm? Yeah, of course I do. Oh, my God.

Can you say jacuzzi jets? Oh. I didn't know what it was. That's amazing. Because I was under the age of 10. Right. You know, like you put your body parts on jets. Of course.

Just testing it out and like that part on. And all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, what is this? And I mean, we didn't have access to tucosies often. And then we moved it. When I was 12, we moved into a house that had a tub that had jets. Oh. I was bathing every single day. Yeah. It was amazing.

I love it. But I love how open and honest that is, you know. It's just like you're saying, like, that's another area that's so taboo and not talked about. And young people who should have. No, all of these things. There's no shame. It's normal. That should be an education as well.

Yeah. We're exploring. Of course. You got to know your body. You know how many little girls, you know, they'll be like sitting on a jet, of course. And they're like, what is this feeling? Or a horse or like, you know, hang in on a monkey bar? I don't know.

It all can happen anywhere. I now remember that feeling. You do? Yes. The jacuzzi jet feeling? The jacuzzi jet. Specifically jacuzzi jets. No, specifically, jacuzzi chat.

It's like it all just came back to me. I feel like it's probably a big, you know, I think the statistics. Yeah, I think a lot of, it would be a high percentage. Yeah. That's the perfect comment. I agree with that. Bags or shoes. Ooh, I guess I'm a boot girl normally.

So boots. Boots. Boots specifically. Boots specifically. I like it. I like it. I love cowboy boots. I love little like mini, you know.

Yeah. Isabel Mara. Yeah. Yeah, her little dicky boots. All the booties. Give me the boots. Yeah. Not a big, if I could get rid of bags, I wouldn't do bags.

You don't want to carry something. I actually brought a bag today, which is unusual. You should do like the belt thing with the phone. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love that. When you're filming and they're like, oh, do you want to hold a bag in the scene? Are you always like, no? No.

Yeah. Unless, of course, it goes with the character, but it's such a cofuffle. Yeah, it is. It's a cofuffle. I would agree with that. Yeah. Do you have a safe word? And if you don't, what would it be?

Do I have a safe word? Yeah. in what instance? Well, it could be any instance. You're just like walking down the street. You feel uncomfortable and you blurt it out. Red berries, red berries. Yeah.

No, I don't. I don't. I don't know that I know anyone that actually has one on deck. No, I think it would be, there was a, you have a safe word? I do not. In what instance. There was one safe word that I had with my grandmother when I went to sleepaway camp the first time. Because she goes, when you call me, if you're having a great time, say strawberries,

If you're having a terrible time, say blueberries. And so she's like, so how is it, do you like strawberries or blueberries? And I was like strawberries. I like strawberries. The strawberries are great. But she just wanted me to be in case someone was listening. I love that. That was the only time I can remember having a safe word. I love that.

That's so full circle. Yeah. Yeah. Losing me voice. That's so sweet. Oh, I think that's great. You're a little code. Yeah.

Yeah. Code word. I don't feel like I need a safe word anymore, you know, at this point. I feel like no is my safe word. Jeff and I had one at Burning Man. I went to Burning Man with my husband, and we were reading the instructions together. And they're like, if you're- I'm sorry, there's instructions to Burning Man?

Oh, yeah. There's like rules and instructions, and we read them for fun. Yeah. And it said, like, if you're in a couple and things start to get heated, Niet. That's now in Russian. Yeah. Turn it around.

And so Niet became our safe word. Oh, my God. It starts to get tense and we'd be like, nip. Yeah, we're out. That's great. Do you still use it? Yeah. Like, if he gets really mad, I can be like, nip.

I think I've tried to do that in relationships before, but I don't know if it was a word or like a signal. But they didn't know. They didn't know about it. It was just my thing. Yeah. No, I just don't know if it ever actually worked. It's really funny. Yeah, really funny.

That is just really funny. I know. Well, this was such a nice conversation. And thank you for being so open and for everything, all the work you're doing and bringing attention to mental health and children. And it's beautiful and wonderful. And I would love to get involved. I mean, that just sounds. I'll make the introduction.

Yeah, please do. Check it out and see what you think of it. They will. The one thing that I'm doing with them right now, I've got a fundraiser, you know, obviously the organization is like this money to sustain. And so I have a fundraiser up on my Instagram. Amazing. That'll live there. But it's just to raise money for them.

And that's, everyone can start their own fundraiser on their web page too. So if you have friends and you can, yeah, so you can do it. It's super simple. Just follow like three steps and then you're up and running. Oh, wow. So, but it'll also get people to come in and like, and so in that way they can go explore. And if you love it, then throw in five bucks, you know. Yeah.

That way they can print out all these conversation cards that they also can send to people who don't have access to internet and, you know. Right. But yeah, check it out. Yeah, yeah. That's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah.

It's awesome. We're so appreciative that it has been brought to our attention and everyone listening's attention and all the attention you're going to get. But it was so nice to see you. It was lovely to see you. Yeah. And to meet you and sit and chat and let me. Yeah. It was great.

I have food stuck and I can't come out. Okay. I've fallen and I can't get up. I've been texting Olivia. No, I've been texting her because we've been talking and I'm. I'm like, save it. And so this is what our texts say. Ready?

Squeaky cheese brother sperm, couple therapy, past lives. Traffic. Everybody. All right. Let's go one by one, I guess. Tell Rob about your squeaky cheese. I don't even think there's that much to discuss. You just wanted to say squeaky cheese.

No. Do you find the cheese? What is it called again? So we were eating the hulumi in this morning. Yeah, from squirrel. Do you find it squeaky? I can see it being squeaky.

Yeah. She was like squeaky cheese. Yeah, I know what you mean when you say that. Yeah. Squeaky cheese. So that was our conversation at breakfast this morning. You know, like you must bring this up with Rob because I'm curious if he experiences squeaky cheese. It's probably more about the density of it because if it's like a squishier cheese, it's not going to do that.

If it's a melted cheese, it won't do that. Right. But that's like the right texture and consistency. that it gets squeaky. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. It's a squeaky cheese. She acted like I was cray-cra.

It's like to rub your teeth. It's like that, exactly. It's like, right. Do you know about that? What? Can you do that? Like this.

Yeah, it's like that. That's the cheese. That's it. That's it. That sound was really disturbing. Almost as disturbing is me trying to floss my teeth. Well, next on our list. Yeah, what do you have?

What you got? Brother sperm. Oh. Your brother's sperm. Okay. I was offering it to a friend yesterday, dinner. Your brother's sperm? Yeah.

Do you find that strange? No. Does your brother find it strange? I said since he's living with us, he doesn't really get his say. I had this conversation with a friend recently. Okay. Do you tell? I was just like, I don't care who would, if someone wanted my spurt.

sperm if they needed to have a baby? What? Go for it. You would donate your sperm? Sure. Would Natalie mind that? I don't think so. That's sweet.

How would you feel? How would you feel Jeff offered his sperm? Um, uh... Depends on the application. Depends on the person, I think. I almost offered it to Jennifer yesterday. Huh. I was almost like, do you want Jeff's sperm?

I mean, But wait, but David knows that it's on the table? Well, so we were eating dinner and David was in the house and Jennifer said something and I said, well, do you want my brother's sperm? Because she's open to having, she wants a kid, you know? And she's like, I've thought of that because I want to know the person. She's like, I want to know where it comes from, the lineage, all of that kind of stuff. Where it comes from.

So I told her where you can have it if you want it. And David was like, cool. Well, he came out and I said, would you be open to giving Jennifer your sperm? He's like, excuse me? Right now? Yeah. And then we all got into like, what does that look like? Do you donate the actual sperm?

Do you have sex? Do you wit with her? Yeah. What were their opinions? Well, then Jeff was like, you could just have him live with you. So then we started pitching that idea And we're like, you know It's all in the family

Like Yeah, I think I'd yeah I'm down for it I'm like, who cares? I have a kid If she's going to have a kid with a random sperm donor Yeah, that's more my thought Cooler would it be if it was like my niece or nephew

Whoa right It would be your niece or nephew. Yeah. But would David feel responsible to have a role as a father? I think as long as you set those expectations ahead of time. But maybe he'd want you. I don't know. Well, I think he would be open to another kid. Uh-huh. You know? Yeah. I really do. Does he have kids?

Yeah. I have a 21-year-old nephew. Uh-huh. 22? 22. 21, 22. He's married. No. No, no. No. It's really interesting, though. How would you feel about that? about what offering donating your sperm donating your brother's sperm i've done it many times um you just have preserves

well i guess it's different because your brother's married and yeah my brother's married and they're about to have a baby but what if he wasn't and like one of our friends wanted and like she needed i don't know because i would feel like he would have to take responsibility and like be a dad because it'd be his kid you know not if you're donating sperm if it's a couple that's going through IVF or like the husband has a low sperm count and they want to have a baby and they're going to go look at donors like go for it. I don't think it's your choice if your brother

decides to donate sperm or not either. Olivia definitely feels like it's her choice for her brother though. Well, because he's living with me. You can connect the dots, but it's ultimately up to David. That's true. Well, I mean. His body has choice. My fear is he's done too much. Drug us? No, like testosterone. Oh, what is it? Steroids? Oh, steroids.

Yeah. What is it? Well, what is it that makes your sperm go bad? Steroids, right? I mean, I don't think drugs is great for it. I don't think alcohol is good for it. Yeah. There are lots of things that probably not.

So we're going to have to get them checked. Well, do you end this, they're like generational trauma and your family? Major, but she said she was okay with that since she's so close to my family. And it's like, we're all kind of healing that together. And she's already in the mix of that. And she. I actually really like this idea. Right?

Yeah. I do. I would like to see Jen have a baby. Me too. I just think you do have to be clear when you're setting this up though. And. guys just like do that you know and she said i don't want to be domesticated and i was like that's she a cat i was like i don't think he's trying to domesticate you i don't even think he knows you're dating

you know he doesn't know it yet he doesn't know it yet huh huh they should go out to dinner they go on hikes they're friends they're homies they already hang out they're friends oh this is this is the beginning of a beautiful he's training her he's training her He's training her. So they're going to go to the gym together. He's going to train her. They're going on hikes. The seeds have already been planted, so to speak.

Well, does that make it weirder then if he does want to? No, they should just be together and have a baby. As friends. Whatever it is. I don't know. I can see it. I can see it. That's a fully different scenario.

That's a different scenario. What do you think about? Donation. Wait, this is a movie, you guys. Like, donate the sperm. No, that's not the same. I think they did that movie. Oh.

With Vince Vaughn? No, it's a comedy. Where he's got like 100 kids? No. No, where they're friends and they're like, well, let's just have a baby. But then they wind up falling. It's like complicated and something like that. Yeah, it's a romantic comedy.

Well, what is it? Sounds great. We pitched it so well. Huh. Well, we shall see how this goes. All right, well, we'll report back on that, right? You'll report back? Yeah, and let us know if she is with child.

Yeah. Okay, here's a topic we want your opinion on. Okay. Past lives, reincarnation. What are your thoughts? Do you believe in it? I don't strongly believe in it, but I wouldn't fully rule it out. I'm kind of surprised.

It's shocked. Yeah. Really shocked. Because you're pretty, you know, logical, scientific. But I think back to the like generational trauma stuff, it would make sense if there was some sort of... Throughline? Yeah, through line or part of you. I don't know if it's like full consciousness was alive prior.

Hmm. I don't know how the technicalities of it all works. Do you have generational trauma? Not that I, I mean, maybe. But not that you're aware of. Not that I'm fully aware of. But it's the thing of even like why humans are attracted to fire or at least men are. And you can just like sit and look at fire.

What? You can just sit and look at fire and be mesmerized by it. Just men? Men have. He's squirming you guys He's standing up in his chair He's standing on his knees Like when you're a kid

You play with fire a lot You guys set pizza boxes on fire With WD40 when you were little Nope, can't say that I did No Every boy I know Okay We're gonna take a bowl

Went through some sort of like pyro phase As a kid What does that have to do with anything? Being fascinated with fire I think comes from like evolutionarily like fire was such a big deal. Got it's what made humans human. See now I want to take the red flower.

But I want to take a poll though and see if like all guys feel this way about fire. I think it's maybe a window. I mean you guys when you go to a bonfire like do you ever just stare at the fire and you ever mesmerized by it? All the times I've been at a bonfire. I mean, you know, I've been at all. A lot of bonfire. Or a fire place.

Like, do you look at, you don't get, like, hypnotized by fire? A campfire? Sure. That's a bonfire, yeah. Oh. I was picturing, like, on the beach, like a big bonfire. And, like, everybody's at the bonfire. On the beach, this isn't an episode of the OC. Yeah.

That's where I come from. But a campfire, you call a bonfire? Is that accurate? It's the same idea. It's a fire. A fire. One you're just doing while you're camping. I always was under.

the impression that a bonfire was like a bigger fire like with a big gathering and it's like a different thing than just like a campfire. There are I would call yes I agree but they're essentially the same. Okay well they're completely different things in my mind. So I do think guys like the fire a little bit more than the women. But I think that's part of our like biology and evolution. Can you build a fire yourself? Yeah, I can fill a fire. Can you swing an axe? See Rob. See Rob. The requirement.

Yeah, as I have chopped wood before. But what does that have to do? You're saying that that comes from generational trauma? No, not generational trauma. But if I think if I can get on board that that is like passed down from our ancestors through our DNA, that other thing. Then why not? Yeah.

That's a very logical way of looking at it. what I said. He's very logical. And like, there's even, when you have kids, there's things that, like, why does Vincent know this or that? We've never taught him this, and he's not smart enough to know things. Mozart. Don't talk about him that way. And, yeah, I think there's just some, like, inherent wisdom that humans have. Hey, Rob.

Here, Rob goes there. This is good stuff. We got him to go there. He shows up once in a blue moon. and listen, what comes out of the mouth? You know what I mean? I do. Yeah.

I'm super, like, curious about this past life stuff. I just wonder if one day I'm just going to, like, it's just going to hit me and I'm going to remember. I do believe that I was a T-Rex at one point. Let me explain further. What did you recently learn? What? Do you remember about not being animals? What?

Were you not there for that conversation? You were. He's not remembering, clearly. Lucy say something about him? Yeah. Lucy's like, Rob, you couldn't have been an animal. Why? Well, I don't know.

Is there, because of, maybe he needs to be on like the same evolutionary track that you're... Something like that. But then the Buddhist think... You can't have been an animal? I don't think there's like a real science. behind it. Well, in the book, she's never an animal.

No. Why I believe I'm a T-Rex, though, let me just explain further. Did this start from like a mushroom trip? Negative. I can be like looking at you and there can be an ant crawling on the wall way over yonder and I will see it from my periphery. And that makes you a T-Rex? Yes.

Not like an owl or any other. Because T-Rex only could see by motion. So can bats. Well, I'm going T-Rex because that's what I've always believed and I'm sticking to it. I can see something moving very far away out of the side of my eye. So whatever. Fine. Make me whatever animal you want.

Okay? Okay. So maybe you can't be an animal? This is just changing my whole life. I don't know. I don't think there's set rules. Like, I don't think anyone knows. I mean, your belief system is your belief system.

Well, you know, I wish we could play this on the, um, podcast. I wonder if there's a way because it's such a great freaking answer, I tell you, I tell you. To what?

Let's see if we can hear it. This is Stephen Colbert asking Ethan Hawke. What do you think happens when we die? You ready? I don't think we die. I don't think that we have an understanding of the divine concept of time.

I don't think we're any more capable of understanding a clock than a dog is. And I think something much bigger is going on than we're aware of in our day-to-day routines. So I don't think I have the intelligence or the DNA makeup to answer that question. I knew I always loved that. How good is that answer? I mean, I just fell in love with him again. That's what happened. There.

Reality bites. I mean, he does that little smile. Dead. I can't. I know. I know. I fantasized that you would be my boyfriend for so long. Loved him.

Loved him so much in that movie. When he would sneak his boxers into the laundry. Into his. Yeah. So good. The best. Yeah. That's up there.

I wonder if people know that movie now. Reality Bites? Yeah. With Ben Stiller. Yeah. He directed it. I remember seeing the billboard for it at Universal City Walk when it came out. I think it's one of the best movies full-time.

It's so good. I'm not kidding. I love that Winona Ryder has like Joeline, like the bleach on her mustache. It's so good. It's going out and she's going out and just to wipe it off. That's going to get a re-watch. I want to watch it. I want to re-watch it.

Oh, Ethan Hawking that movie and that answer. Thank you, Ethan. I appreciate your time here today. That was pretty good. It was good. It was great. Yeah. What do you?

What? He's like, I don't want to. I don't know what you guys mean. I don't have the DNA or the consciousness. You scared to ask. What? No, you already kind of answered it. What?

She thinks she was a T-Rex. No, that's not. No, I do believe for sure. I didn't know if you had a real answer or if. Well, that is not a real answer. Okay, I do believe that. But I definitely believe in, you know, souls being multiple, you know, being here multiple times or, you know, things like that.

For sure. Do you, how do you guys feel about like parallel universes? I can't wrap my head around that one. I was thinking about it the other day because I had a thought about like, oh, what if this went this way? And then I thought, what if that is actually happening somewhere? Well, that's everything everywhere all at once. Yeah. Is that?

I didn't watch that. I didn't want you either, but... I've had the thought of, like, is that all dreams are? Because in dreams, you have, like, some existing knowledge base. Mm-hmm. That hasn't happened in the storyline that you're dreaming. So is it you dipping in and out of... I've wondered that a million times.

Different parallel universes. I wonder. And also, to me, when I get deja vu, it doesn't... feel like, oh, I've actually been here, it feels like I remember this dream. Like that feeling of like, I know this dream. What do you mean deja vu? Yeah. Yeah.

But it doesn't feel like I was here in the past. Right. It feels like I remember this moment. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think everybody experienced this deja vu? I feel like there's people that don't. Someone told me once it's like your brain like almost seizuring.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure there's a scientific explanation. Explanation to what's happening where it's like one side of your brain talking to the other one slowly. Right.

I'm not going to lie. I used to get it a lot more when I drank. I'd get deja vu all the time. But maybe that's because I was drunk and not remembering things that were happening. I'm like, I swear this happened more. They're like, yeah, it was yesterday. Yeah, you blacked out, though, so you forgot. Did I share with you the blackout stuff?

Like the, I just told you today, I found it really interesting. I was just reading about blackouts. And have you ever had one? No, I've never blacked out. So she's like, so you don't tell you. Have you? Not from like drinking or something, no. From?

No, well, why we got on the topic was. What have you blacked out? Let me explain why we, this is a different thing. But why we got on the topic was, I was. saying like when I was in that really bad car accident I you know I don't remember anything right like I remember the last thing I see before the crash that's my last memory and I know I was helicoptered and they said I lost signs of life for a little while so I was like I wonder if I like died for like I mean you know I wonder if I left my body and like look down and I experienced that

you know that people talk about when near death experiences yeah and I was saying to hers it's just going to come back to me someday like the accident and everything like one day I'm just going to like feel it and see it. And then that led to this explanation. Well, no, because when I was reading about the blackout, it was explaining that there's a certain part of the brain that gets turned on to store short-term memory. And that when you have a blackout, you're never going to get that information back because that part shuts off. So it's not like you're going to remember it because it was never stored. So that's why it's completely gone.

It doesn't get stored. So I was saying with her accident, it's very possible. that information didn't get stored. So if anything did come back, it would be a cool kind of experience to see if like anything spiritual came back. But it wouldn't be from memory. How do you feel about that logical one?

What do I think about you maybe getting your memory back from some incident that happened 20 years ago? I don't know if that's... I don't think you're going to ever remember what happened. Right. I mean, it was a pretty severe. head injury. So I feel like the window went into my head.

And you barely remember what happened yesterday. Because of that incident. And that part of the brain turns off right for accidents to save you from that trauma, right? You're asking me like, I know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I wish my brain would turn off. That's kind of like childbirth, Heather. Like you don't really remember the pain because it would prevent you from doing it again. Yeah. Yeah. You don't remember the pain. You remember it as painful, but not the exact pain. Yeah. It's hard to say because it's such a blackout that it's like, okay, I probably died a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I mean, I, I mean, they said, I don't know. I should look at the reports again. Do you have them? Somewhere I do. I have the police report somewhere. That's, I know because you think about it now as a parent and you're like oh my god that was 14 right that's 14 yeah that's 14

you're bloody like what like it was like kind of scalped like part of my head from the window I have a scar but it stops literally stops like right at the edge of my hairline I got a hairline scorn too you do right here from what fell out of my high chair explains a lot how'd you fall out of your Right chair. Yeah. I wanted like ice cream or something. You're like I was 13. And I don't think it was on.

I think I haven't have only been like one or two. Yeah. And I remember like going to the hospital and then putting stitches and. Ooh, you remember that? For some reason, yeah. Because it's traumatizing maybe. I guess. I remember when I was three and the beagle ate my face and like I remember all of that.

I remember what I was wearing. I kind of remember being in the hospital, but I don't remember them stitching it up. My mom's my face was a blueberry. It was like, like, round and blue. I know. Explain this your face. Explains my face.

Lots making sense. My head, my brain, my face. Yeah. Hmm. I think I need to go into this trauma stuff a little bit. I would love to do past life regression and see what comes up. I used to have dreams, like reoccurring dreams as a kid that I wonder if there was anything

there to it. I would bet it. I believe in all that stuff. I was a mom that's baby would get taken away. And I'd wake up crying for my baby. Yeah. Maybe that's why I'm so attached to my children now. I think that makes a lot of sense.

I wonder if my son is my uncle. I do. Billy? Yeah. Yeah. I've wondered it since the day. he was born. I'm like, are you Uncle Billy?

I don't know. I think you might be. Did you ask him? I say it a lot. He acts like him, which is weird. Because Billy was weird. I guess. They probably share a lot of DNA.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. I do. I believe in all of it. What else is on our list, Olivia? What is it? Squeaky jeez?

No. Traffic. Oh. Why did you write that down? I accidentally called someone really traffic today instead of really attractive. I was like traffic. To someone like you were saying it to them? No, to me.

Well, it's not that out of the ordinary if you were to tell someone they were attractive. I'm like, you're traffic. Your traffic. So that's her new word for attractive. She was literally like, oh. Oh, that traffic. So fully in all right. I was like, what?

I sat in traffic on the way over here and I'm tired. Oh, traffic. Okay, the everybody story, the Elliott. So his teacher talked to me, yes, a couple days ago, whatever. And she's like, remember how I told you Elliot was like really shy and in his shell? And I said, yeah. She's like, well, that's not the case anymore. She's like, we cannot get him to stop talking.

And I was like, are you serious? Like, he's like a quiet, good boy. I'm like, what is going on? And she's like, he really, really, really talks a lot. And so I asked him, I said, Elliot, who are you talking to? And he goes, everyone. No, he said, everybody. Everybody.

I was like, like, no shame. in his game whatsoever. What are your thoughts on that though? His parents? Because Jeff and I have the same reaction. We were not upset with him. We were actually happy for him that he feels more comfortable and has friends. Yeah.

Agreed. And she said she wants him to go back in his shell a little bit and we were like, that's a weird thing for a teacher. That's a very weird thing for a teacher to say. I hope she doesn't listen. She doesn't. Oh, to the podcast. I thought you meant.

I don't. To Elliot talk. Something. Like, wait, what? Hope she doesn't hear what he's actually saying. Well, I mean, you know, I don't think, yeah, you should encourage kids like that if they're opening up to stay open. Yeah, I think her perspective is maybe he's not listening. And when it's time to be quiet and learn, he's gabbing away.

That's probably. Yeah, he's not. He's being himself now in class. You're like, he doesn't listen. Yeah, because at home, you know. that too. For sure. Distracting.

He definitely doesn't listen. But what I'm sitting... Don't be a dick about my kid. I was messing with her earlier. It's not funny. I will defriend you. I will. Okay.

I will. I will. I love Elliot. Let's see how much shit we can talk about Elliot on the show now. No. No, no, no. I will walk out. I will.

We love Elliot. I will walk out. I love my child. I just love Shepard. No, but I'm curious. I mean, if you had to pick one, though. Someone asked me the other day, is he your favorite? And you're like, no.

About Shepard. Oh. I said the truth. I said, I think there's a level of trauma bonding that happened that is a little intense. In other words, that's her way of saying yes. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. No, it's just a little psychotic, you know?

You're obsessed with Shepherd. Yeah. Yeah. But everyone's obsessed with Shepherd. But you're not obsessed with Elliot. I am obsessed with Elliot. I love him with all of my heart and soul. What I'm saying is I think that the Shepherd thing just kind of fucked me up a little bit.

Yeah, you love him more. No. No, because of that as a result. Sheppard's the mayor of his school. Yeah. It's very cute. He's got swag. can we say, you know?

It's a swaggery little guy. Oh, I love my boys. Oh, she's staring at me with daggers. Well, shepherd's my godson, you know? Don't favor him. No. I have a godson bond. You know what it's like if anyone is even remotely weird about your kid.

You're like, oh, you're dead to me. Like, I don't fuck with you anymore. But that's why I'm doing it because I'm fucking with you. I get fucked with enough. By whom? My brother, my husband, my children, my dog. My dog. You? She also has a psychotic dog. You know. Yeah, that dog sucks. You've never even met her. I've heard stories, though.

Wait, has she been okay? No, she gets out five times a day. Wait, what? She has been over here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, she gets out five times? She harasses the coldestack. It's like a whole issue. Everyone's annoyed. She gets out five times a day. We cannot. not keep her in. How does she get out? You have a fence.

We keep patching the holes. And then we try and keep her in the house and not let her out unless we're done. But we have kids. So they're letting her out. And she harasses the cul-de-sac? She harasses the cul-de-sac. You know what, guys? I'm not feeling great now after these conversations.

She's so mad. I know normally we pick on Rob. Okay, let's switch gears. Let's pick on Rob. Okay. Oh, so now you know how I feel. after all these recordings. You love it.

He loves it. He rushed over here in traffic after his busy day to get here just to talk to us, to grace us. What would be the one song that would play every time you walked into a room? Mine would be she's got sauce.

Sing it, Rachel. My baby's got sauce. Your baby ain't sweet like much. Yours would be creep. Creep? Why am I a creep? Because I'm a weird. weirdo? What the hell am I doing here? Yeah. You don't belong here. I belong in the crustaceous

period. I pulled that out. I was like, what the fucking name? I got to think of a dinosaur period. She thinks we're still friend. Yeah. No, I know we're best friend. Because we're the two best. No, no, no. No, no. She's so much. Oh, come on. I'm going to buy the boys all the things they can eat. They can eat no things. Oh. What are you, what do you watch her right now? I watch her right now. She's not watching anything.

She's reading. I am reading. I'm reading many lives, many masters. I got a flat tire. Do you change it? No. I went, AAA came yada yada. I went to the tire shop and I was sitting there.

And it was one of those moments where I was like, I could be grumpy or I could be nice. And the guy came up and started talking to me. And he was so amazing. This guy at the tire shop. He adopted his son. He has four children. He adopted his son at 20 years old. I'm like 20 years old.

How does it happen? And he said the judge made an exception because the guy had been in and out of foster and going back and forth to him for 10 years. And that he was going into the army or something like that. And he's like, I want you guys to be officially my parents. Like, I want a family to write home to that's mine. And the judge said, I wasn't going to do this. But when I heard what your response was to your son, I changed my mind.

And said, what was your response? He said it would be a gift and an honor to be your father for the rest of my life. And so then he said, the judge hit the gavel and said, you are officially his parents and that everyone. And he said, and I want to take a minute to tell you what a courageous man you are for taking in these kids. Because he said over the years him and his wife would foster all these kids. And he said, I realized I would get on my knees so I'd be their height and not scare them. And I'd say, you're going to be safe here.

And I don't know about you. But I go, really go for a peanut butter jelly sandwich right now. Oh, come on. And I was like, oh, you got to foster a kid. Isn't that incredible? That's incredible. Did he sell you two tires then after that? He tried to sell me two tires.

He said I only want one, right? I said, I only have one flat. And he said, you know what I'm going to do for you? Put a plug in it and drive it to this other place where they're going to have one of that tires you don't have to buy two. Set me on my way. That is an angel human. Yeah.

Right there. Yeah. Does he get kicked back from that other place probably? Rob. He has to take the fucking. Beauty out of everything I thought that was a beautiful story That's a beautiful story

I'm glad he didn't try to sell you a full set of tires And after that And he's like, and for 1899 Because then I maybe would not have believed that story I didn't buy any tires from him Good What an amazing human Mm-hmm

I need to do more in this world You gotta stop being into children Open a tire shop With a matter of fact No but to me it was like Like one of those examples of like could be something to be really grumpy about, but we have a choice like what we take from it. And like that would have never happened. And like who fucking knows?

I may end up fostering a child because of that story that I got because I got that flat tire. Right. If you look at things that way, like when you're stuck in traffic and if you're like instead, you just embrace it, especially if you're riding with someone that you can spend time with. Oh. Has this happened? Can you guys change a tire? No. My dad taught me when I was 16, but I haven't done it since, so I don't know if I'd put money on it.

But I would try. Yeah, there's not really much to it. Yeah, I would definitely try. He definitely showed me. I wouldn't know. Try. Olivia would not try. Why would I try if I could get someone else to do that?

She would call AAA. Quick. The lug nuts. I know you do the lug nuts to get the thing off and then. You got to like raise the car. Well, you loosen the lug nuts first. Yeah. And then you lift the car.

Then you raise the car. Then you just take them off. How do you raise the car? With a jack. Mm-hmm. So you have to have a jack. Right. You know what sucks?

If you're a car, the spare tire, we'll have a jack also. No spare tire. That's how the Teslas are too. I think I don't know. I mean, but we do have a run flat so you can get to where you need to go. Yeah. Yeah. So that was Malin.

That was Malin. Love her. She really is such, I know I kept saying it, but she really is like a ray of sunshine. It's beautiful the work she's doing, though. with honor sleeves. Love it. Yeah. So now I know how I can be a better human.

That's true. You know? That's for sure. That's a gift. Shut up, Rob. Thanks, everybody. Bye. Bye.

Bye. That was a headgum podcast.