Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Melissa Fumero on Lasting Relationships, Motherhood, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Melissa Fumero (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, One Life to Live) talks to Rachel and Olivia about her lasting relationships, managing career and motherhood and of course Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Listen to Melissa's new podcast “More Better” from iHeartMedia’s My Cultura Podcast Network Official link: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-more-better-with-stephani-177232170/ Broad Ideas is sponsored by Article. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more, visit ARTICLE.COM/BROAD and the discount will be automatically applied at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

It's just me on the mic right now. Olivia has been down with the COVID. And Rob is playing softball. But today, sorry, I have like morning voice. I haven't even had my coffee yet, but I had to jump on because this is a super exciting guest we have today. Melissa Famaro, you might know her from Brooklyn Nine-N-N-N-N-N-9. is joining us today. She has a new podcast entitled More Better with her co-star, Stephanie Beatrice.

She has such an impressive resume. She's so super cool. Love, loved talking to her and getting to know her. So I say stick around and give it a listen. Also, we don't have a post either because Olivia has been taken out by the COVID. and Rob is playing the softball. So enjoy today's episode. We will be back next week, the three of us afterwards. But you get all of Melissa all the time because that's what I'd like. All right. Welcome to broad ideas.

Sometimes when inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside. Join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys. Because people die. So where did you grow up?

Oh, Jersey. You're from Jersey. I'm from Jersey. Okay. Yeah. And you have an August. You're younger than me in August, and I'm in August. Oh, what day?

The 25th. Oh, okay. Your birthday's coming up. Yeah. Birthday's coming up. Yeah. Nice. So you grew up in Jersey? Do you grew up there or just were born there? I grew up there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up there. I moved to the city when I was going to college, like when I was 19. Oh, okay. I was there for 10 years before I moved here. Oh, wow. Yeah. How do you like it here now? I love it here. You do. The first few years were rough. Okay. I wasn't ready to leave New York. Got it. Yeah. You know? I kind of left like kicking and screaming. Okay. And my husband was like, no, we can't stay. We will run out of money so fast. Oh.

Because we both weren't working. And at the time, you know, this is now 12, 13 years ago, L.A. was still, like, more affordable than New York. Was it really? Yeah. Like, rent-wise. I wonder what it is now. It's very close.

Like, the gap. Yeah. Yeah. The gap has closed. Yeah. For sure. But at that time, yeah, like rent was way cheaper. And just, you know, groceries.

Like, in general, he was, like, we. we will stretch our money much more if we moved to L.A. And, yeah. Can we talk about groceries for a second? Yeah. Do you know that a bag of cherries is $18? What? I'm sorry.

I heard you shopping. That's what I said. So you have to kind of like preface it with you were shopping at Gelson's. Oh, that doesn't count. It doesn't? No. Okay, because I got floored and I wanted to walk out and return it. Yeah.

Like, Gelson's Whole Foods, Airwine, like, all of that. But $18? That is steep. But I want to see what the same cherries are, like, Ralph. I am too. There is. There is, no, this is real because I, prices have gone up. There's a Spanish store near my house, Superior, that I go to because they have the right kind of beans that I like.

It's a thing. If you're Latin, it's a thing. Now I want to know. Yeah, I know. We need to know what type of beans. They have, like, the goia, like, anyway. Oh, goya, yeah. Yeah, goya, but like, they have some, anyway.

And they have like the right seasonings and like whatever for me to like make my beans the way I want to make them. But also they have great produce. And I went in there last week and they had big ass mangoes like three for a dollar or something. What? Or like two for a dollar. Dude, I'm coming for you in your store. Yes. And it's a huge mound of mangoes.

It was like a whole huge crate. And it was so cheap. And I bought like eight of them. And then today I was in whole three. foods and I noticed there was just a little pile of red mangoes and they were like $3 each. Yeah. And I was like, how does that happen? They just, they say, they show.

Yeah, it's a huge, yeah, it's a huge price different. It's a huge price difference. Yeah. I saw something on Instagram where this guy was comparing his grocery bill, the same exact order. I'd forget how many years ago it was, at least a few years ago, right? And it was like 126 and three years later, it was 400. $150, like something like that.

No, I'm putting it a little. Well, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's also like, it's infuriating that like it feels like nothing can be done, right? Because like all these food prices went up with inflation. Right. And then they just stayed there. Even though like inflation went back down a little, like they didn't change because they're like, everyone will just get used to playing those prices.

People have to eat. Like, what are they going to do? Right. They have all the fucking power. All the power. Mm-hmm. Because we have to eat. I know.

It drives me crazy. I get into these like spirals a lot. And then I'm like, what are they doing with all the bad food? Right. Is it, you know, how much food are we wasting? How much food are we wasting? That's what, and I saw this whole thing on like expiration dates where it's like kind of bullshit. It's not real.

It's not real. And I have a hard time with it with certain things. You know, like I don't really want to eat meat after. Oh, yeah. No, that I get. Yeah. And they're like, we'll smell it and you'll know. But it's, anyway, it's a whole thing.

Yeah. It sketches me out. But it's really comforting. But everything else. I know. If it doesn't say used by, that's the different. Yeah. If it says used by, you like maybe have to listen to it a little bit.

Right. But if it's just Best by or whatever, like that doesn't matter. It's arbitrary, I think. Yes. Did you grow up with your mom like cutting the hard part of the cheese off and giving it to you? I'm sorry, what? Like the edge of the cheese? Yeah, like she would just be like, oh, you just cut it off.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My mom does that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do too. There would be like a spot on the cheese and she would just cut it off and be like, it's fine here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. She still does that. Sometimes, like, you parmesan will get, like, she's like, just cut it off. It's fine. The rest of it's fine. I know. I still get weird, though. I'm like, I get a little weird. Is it weird? Like, I cut off, like, the moldy, like, bad parts of the strawberry and then still give my child the rest of the strawberry. Oh, I do that too. No. That's fine. Yeah. I do the little, like, feel test. If the rest of it's pretty firm, I'm like, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah. I feel like they're on to do it. So fast. Sorry. I'm just like, we're on this whole food tangent now.

I know. Aren't you glad you came today? I love it. This is literally how my brain works. So this is great. I was just going to say, I was so comforted to hear you spiral like on these types of things because I relate so heavily. Oh, I can literally talk about it for an hour. For an hour and we probably will. So funny. Oh my God. But it's so true. There are, I'm not going to stop.

No, please. Please. Don't. There are all these tricks. like how you store your fruit and like all these things and like the paper towels and the containers. I get really overwhelmed. But I can't with the containers. I feel like the containers are a scam. Like all in? No, like the containers are trying to sell you that you should buy for your fridge to like store thing. Yeah, with like the vent thing. I'm like, I don't think they, I did buy one and I was like, this shit doesn't work. Oh yeah, I got it. TG Max and I'll check out. I'm like, I'm going to buy it. There's no difference. No. Like they spoil when they spoil the same if it's in the original or in that.

whatever container and I'm like great I just like bought more plastic. That's the problem is you're buying more plastic. That's the whole thing. Trying to get rid of the plastic. It's infuriating. And then it's just like you're stuck in this endless circle.

But doesn't it kind of turn you on a little bit when you, no, it like turns me on a little bit. Oh, like the videos of those fridges? Yes, no, I know. That is like my porn. I got a little hot. I'm like, ooh, ooh, that looks so. I can't.

I would do it one time, though. Here's the truth. I would do it one time and then the rest of the time it would be a fucking shit show. Shit show. Because there would be all these containers in the fridge and I wouldn't, I would just be shoving things in there and it would be a disaster. Yeah. I have a question. What do we do with the things that we're getting rid of?

I mean, we waste so much. We really do. I'm trying to be food or food. Food. Food. Oh. I'm saying like food. Like when.

Things are like kind of bad and you're throwing it away or leftovers or any of that. I'm like, this should be going somewhere. There should be someone that comes every night and picks up all the stuff and goes feeds people. Is there? Isn't there? Is there? See?

This is the problem. More things my kids don't like. They'll be like, I don't like that. And I'm like, well, that's a waste. Right. I know. I bought these like I was trying to get more calories into my kids at one point. and I bought these little like protein shakes for kids.

I forget what they're called. It's like a muscle milk but for kids. Right. Not that brand. But anyway, the ripple things. They were like, this is disgusting. I will not drink this. And then I had bought the whole fucking carton from Costco.

And I was like, shit. I was convinced they were going to like it for some reason. Yeah, because it's like vanilla. Or it was like, yeah. Or it was like, yeah. Or it was like, yeah. fake cake flavor or something. I was like, whatever.

I'm going to get the sweetest shit so that I can just get some calcium and calories into these kids. Yeah. And yeah. I did end up donating it to his preschool, though. Oh, there you go. That's something. I said, would you take this and, like, just have it on hand for, like, kid that likes it, extra snack? And she was like, yeah, we'll take it.

Oh, that's great. Great. My mom put compost bags under my sink and she's like, anytime it's food or, like, clearing plates, you're putting it in here now. I did start doing that. You did? Yes. I haven't gotten that far in the green bin.

You can't, yeah, it can go in the green bin now. It can go like with your plant material. Yes. Got it. And you can also, hot tip, my friend told me this, you can put it in a brown paper bag. Like, especially now in the summer so it doesn't get stinky. Really? Yes, because you can compost the brown paper bag.

We'll break down. And brown paper bags can go in the, in the green bin. See? That's very helpful. what I started doing. This is the most important conversation we've ever had in this podcast. I'm not kidding. I'm always like,

what's the next step, though? The other big one I've started doing is recycling clothes, especially like the kids. So there is, you know that clothing company four days? No. Okay. There's a like small clothing company called Four Days and they have a partnership with this other brand called Trashy. Anyway, if you Google either four days or trashy, there's this bag.

you can buy for 20 bucks, and it's a huge bag, and then you can just put all your kids fucking, my kids destroy your clothes. I have two boys. She does too. There's barely any clothes from the older one that I can save from a little one at this point, like a T-shirt and that's it. Like something he didn't like and never. Yeah, that he didn't wear.

They trash their clothes. So you can put clothes, I think you can even put shoes, stuffed animals, sheets, towel, whatever. and then they have like a bunch of partners that they recycle the clothes. It becomes different things. Really? Yeah. So it doesn't know. And then you get stained stuff though.

It's like it's not. It can be anything. Oh. It can be anything. Anything. Yeah. They do ask that you wash it that like it's clean. Like even if it's stained, it's fine.

But just as long as it's cleaned. That's really good. But yeah. And it's like given it's made me feel so much better because I was throwing out. I know. And they broke so fast and like the, they go through that shit. And I knew I couldn't donate it because it was trash. It's like, there. And the stains.

And the stains and the rips. The knee rips. And the collars. I'm like, what is happening up here? I don't understand. What is that? I don't know. I don't get it to be a hand me down and then my little ones wearing these like deep.

I'm like, that's like a deep. And I'm like, oh, whatever. It is what it is. Yeah, yeah. Extra sunblock up here. This is what we're doing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that one's a good one. I'm going to Google that. Wait, how old are your boys? Four and eight. Oh, God, that's good. How is I have an eight and a five-year-old. Oh, two boys. Yeah.

Yeah. So this, you probably felt this last summer. I just told my husband the other day, at first I didn't realize why. I was like, I feel so much more relaxed this summer. I'm really, like, enjoying this summer. And then it hit me. I was like, oh, we're out of the toddler years. Right.

He can swim. He's on his potty train. He's not napping. We don't have to like run from the beach for a nap or like deal with meltdown. Yes. He can tell me when he's hungry for the most part. Yeah. That's so nice.

You can travel so much better too at that age. Oh, yeah. You can go anywhere. You're like you can walk. You can get yourself. Like you are now a human. Yes. They are so easy on the plane now.

Oh, yeah. incredible. Oh, the plane, that's a whole other next level. And they're used to doing the like, because we go back east a lot. Yeah. So they're used to longer flights and they're fine. No. It's great. Do they do iPads? They do iPads. Yeah. Of course. They do iPads. Sometimes a little one will like want to draw or whatever like halfway through take a break or he likes to take a nap on a plane. Are you kidding? That's amazing. That is. My older one never did this. Yeah. He will be like, I'm tired, Mama. I'm going to put my head on your lap. I'm like, okay. Oh my gosh. That's so sweet. And then he like falls asleep watching his iPad and he'll snap for like an hour.

That is God's gift. You know, it's a gift. That is a gift on the lap. I was carrying Shepard, my younger one today. And I was, his leg hurt. So I was like carrying him to the car and he had his arms around me. He was holding me. And I said, oh my gosh, I'm not going to be able to hold you forever.

You're going to get big and I'm not going to be able to hold you. And he goes, I'm still little. And I said, you're still little. And he's like, he's too big. And I was like he's too big. I can't hold him like that. Dude, I have a nine-year-old daughter. No, that's tragic. No, you hold her? She still, she insists that I carry her. Because she doesn't want to let go of being little. Oh my God. Do you carry Breyer? I can't carry Elliot anymore. I'm having hip problems. I have my back thrown out. She's bigger than you, Rachel. She's almost bigger than me. It doesn't take much, okay? But she literally is like to heat, like at least my chin, like above my chin. She's tall. I don't know if you drink coffee, but Rob brought you. Yeah.

You're my favorite people. Yeah. Officially. You already were. But now it's more so. You know, I drink so much coffee. Okay, good. That's for you.

All day. It's like a delicious cream top something. Oh my God. I know. That's Rob. Rob is very particular about where he gets his matches and coffees from. Yeah, sorry to interrupt. That was important.

That was important. I was really important. Yeah, you didn't know. Oh, my God. Thank you. I'm happy you noted that. It's like both that. Yeah.

Yeah. But it is a whole thing because she doesn't want to get bigger and she's having this issue, but it's really hard because she is. Oh, so yeah, she's really tall. She has the longest legs I've ever seen in my life. I have the shortest legs probably known to man. I mean, I'm a very short person. She is tall. She's going to be tall.

She's going to be tall. She's going to be tall. Yeah. And she loves to run. And she's going to be like her run. Everything opposite me. I can barely walk. I love sitting.

Love to sit. Love laying in my bed. I'm so good at sitting. I mean, it's really a talent. Yes, truly. I'm trying to do like, they say like 10,000 steps, right? And your phone counts your steps. It's impossible.

Yesterday. I looked, it was like in the evening. I'm like, oh, I want to see how it was like 1800. Like it was so low. How many are you supposed to do? 10,000? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But you can only, I've only ever hit 10, like it has to be so intense. You have to go for like a long walk to hit 10,000 every day. Everywhere. Yes. Tell her about your friend. What friend? And it sets the alarm for my friend. She sets an alarm.

She's on this on Instagram. She sets her alarm for every hour on the hour it goes off and she automatically does drops and does 10 squats. This is new. But she'll be like in the middle of doing that of their things and then she's just like, I got to do it. Oh, please. How many does she do? Ten. Ten.

And she had like ten things cooking at the same time. Oh, my God. She's in the middle. Things are burning, whatever. It goes off and she just goes. It's amazing. I appreciate the dedication. Honestly, I'm like, I think I need to try it.

You guys, if I drop in the middle of the interview, we like it. We like it. We'll understand. I mean, just drop it. I know. I'm married to someone who's a fitness freak. And I one time was like complaining about being busy and not having any time to work out. And he was like, babe, just before you get in the shower, do 50 squats.

50. Do as many push-ups as you can and then get in the shower. And I was like, that makes a lot of sense. But like, who's going to do that? I don't have time. He's like, you have time before a shower. I was like, mm-hmm. It's very frustrating.

That is really frustrating. What kind of do it? What kind of fitness freak is he? He's just one of the, you know what? For him, it's his therapy. I get it. He started working out really young at like 13, and it just became part of his life. And he also, like, snowboards and surfs and, like, did wrestling for a while, did jihitsu for a while, did boxing for a while.

And it's if he doesn't, when he does get busy and he can't get to it, which is rare because he's so disciplined. Like, it will even get to the point where I'm like, you need to work out. Yeah. Like, you need to go do your thing. I get it. Yeah, it just keeps him straight. Right. Right.

And it's amazing. Yeah, I wish I was more that person. I'm a little bit. I've become a little bit more like that. What do you do? Yeah. I, you know, since the pandemic, I mean, I've always, I grew up a dancer and then I've done yoga on and off for a really long time.

And I've always been like an active person. But really like I've started like a little bit more strength training since I had my second. and it was during the pandemic and it started to become, I think that's when like it shifted a little bit for me because it started to become my like also mental escape, which yoga always kind of was. Yeah. But yeah, but now I'm like doing more weights. That's what I'm doing now too. Which apparently we're supposed to too at this age.

Yeah. I told you that what they learned, right? What? You know how you always hear like as you get older, your metabolism slows down, yada. They're saying that's not actually true. it's that your muscle mass goes down, so that's what controls your metabolism. So I've been getting up at 4.45 and going to work out. Stop it. No. That, I know. Offensive. Offensive. To myself, it's offensive.

Rude. She does not do well. She does not do well with that kind of thing. I don't, but a dear friend of mine is, so my brother's living with us, and he's a personal trainer, so he's training us, and that's the best time our schedules work, so I've been doing it. And I've been like, I'm not going to go today. What time do you wake up? 4.45. I wake up at 445. Oh, you wake up at 445. I get there at 5.30. Okay.

It's stupid. But I'm, and I was like, I'll never do that in a million years, like, ever. But because it meant so much to them, I'm like, fine, I'll give it a try. And now... Now it's a thing. It's kind of a thing. It's kind of a thing. Because I'm like, when I don't go and I see them, I'm like, oh, shit.

She got really good endorphins today. Like, she's feeling it. Yeah. She's in a better place mentally than I am today. Yeah. Yeah. It's real. It's real.

I was never a morning workout person. Before I had kids, I was always like a late afternoon, early evening workout person. Like, love that. Love to like finish a workout, have a meal, and then just like be ready for bed. That sounds nice. Yeah. And then, but then like you can't do that with kids. You can't.

No. No. It's important. So now, yeah. Yeah. You can come with me because we're so close to each other. But I don't, yeah, I haven't been able to do that early. I do it like right after drop off is my time.

That's what my ideal time is. Yeah. That sounds same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And get home, I usually have like some time, like about an hour before I have to do other. That's the best time.

Agreed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you need that schedule. I know. I don't know what you're going to do that. I don't know. How'd you meet your husband? I'm just curious.

And at work, we met on a soap opera when I was very young. I was like I knew that because I read it. Oh, you did knew. I didn't see that. Broad Ideas is supported by Article. I have been a longtime fan of Article. My dining room chairs currently have the coziest sheepskin padding on them from Article. I've had them forever. But not only that, I, have lamps. I have my desk. It's my favorite desk from Article. And honestly, just how easy it is to order with Article makes me such a fan. Also, Olivia has a green velvet couch that's my favorite from Article. I love how Article has a curated assortment of mid-century modern coastal industrial boho designs. And it makes furniture shopping so simple because everything is so cute and it all goes together. Articles team of designers, they're all about finding the perfect balance between

style, quality, and price. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com slash broad and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com slash broad for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. What soap opera did you guys meet on? One Life to Live. Oh, that's right. That part. Yeah, it was my first job right out of school. And he had been on and off the show for a while. And then about a year after I think I was on, they brought him back for like a short storyline. And I had just broken up with someone.

And we met and started dating. And it was like, cool, this is going to be like a fun winner fling on the rebound. And then like right before he left to come back to L.A. I was like, hey, I love you. Just, yeah. And that was that. And then that was that. So how, you guys have been together, how many years?

So long. So long. So long. That's a long time. I think this year is, I think this December will be like 20 years together. Wow. Yeah, it will be. 20.

That is a long time. That's so young. I was so young when I met him. And you guys already have been together this whole time? Yes. Do you so like him? I do. I do.

I do. I mean. I have small kids, so like any mom, sometimes I'm just like, I don't know why, but you're annoying the fuck out of me. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I still like him. That's good. That's good. That's good. And then, are your parents still together. My parents are still together. My parents are high school, sweetheart. Oh my God. See, I had a feeling like the pattern. And then, yeah. And then his parents are still together too. And they've been together. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. There it is there. I know. I think that is. Yeah. It's a thing. I think it is a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like, this is what we do. This is, yeah. Yeah, this is how it goes. Through thick and thin, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And knowing that it goes like this, you know. Right. And are you both working? We were just both working the last couple weeks. We're a bit chaotic, but now we're both off. And I have a show I'm going to do in the fall. Wait a minute. What show are you doing? A Gross Point Garden Society. Oh, my gosh. Oh my God, I looked at that.

Wait, which role? I read that. Yeah. You did? Yes. Which rule did you read for? I didn't read for it. I read.

I was going to say Catherine. I was probably going to be my guess. Catherine. Was it? It was Catherine. Who are you playing? Birdie. That's the best part.

That's the part. I read for Catherine, too, because I was a little scared to read for Birdie. I thought Bertie was the best part. And it's going to shoot in Atlanta. And how does that work? I know. So every job, it's like, how are we going to do? this. Yeah, my husband actually, when my older son was born, he was on a show in New York.

And yeah, for that whole first year after Enzo was born, it was, and I was working on Brooklyn doing 22 episodes, and so it was me and the nanny. Just co-parenting. And then David came home every two to three weeks for a few days for like seven months. It was hard. It was a first-time mom and our baby. Our older one was a tough baby and it was really hard. So this time, I feel like it's a little easier because they're in school and there's that like routine at least Monday through Friday. But I, the kids are going to stay. We went back and forth.

Yeah. It's hard choices. It's really hard. Switching my kid, my older one out in the middle of the school year just didn't feel like the move. And I know he's going to have a really good teacher going into this. next third grade. So that also I didn't want to risk that. Yeah.

So David's going to stay with the kids. Yeah. And he's going to have a lot of help and support. Yeah. And then I'm going to fly home every other weekend. Yeah. And then I think we might try to do like a month altogether in the middle of the run. Got it.

How do you do that? They'll come to a. They'll, yeah. His school, I already asked them. They were like, yeah, you sign like an extended absence. Oh, good. And the teacher sends the work. I will say I love Atlanta.

Atlanta's beautiful. It's so green. You know, there's a lot of other places this could be. And I felt like I got really lucky that it's Atlanta. The flight is also not that bad. Yeah. It's direct and easy. And then we'll, you know, we'll see how it does and maybe.

But, you know, a couple school years. Yeah. And we love Anna Sophia. And we love Anna Sophia. Yeah. She's so great. And Ben Rapaport is the best. No, it's like,

Cast-wise, it's, I feel like I struck the lottery again. That's awesome. Won the lottery again? Yeah. Wait, is Kevin Volchuk your agent? Yeah. Yeah. That's our dear friend.

Oh, my God. He's married to one of our best. Nicole. Yes. That's right. I love him. He's the absolute best. He's one of my favorite people.

Who happens to be an agent? Like, legit. 100%. He's the best. The best human. Yes. Such a good human. No, that's so funny.

So many little connections. So many little connections. But that's so cool. I mean, you've been a working mom the whole time. Yeah, the whole time. But, like, pandemic and strike has been a little weird because my youngest is not as broken in as my oldest. Got it. Yeah.

Because he was born during the pandemic. And so you were always there. I've kind of always been here. Yeah. Like, when I went to shoot the pilot, I'm trying to think. Yeah, because when I did, I did Blockbuster in Vancouver, but that was, he was only two, like a young two. He doesn't remember. Yeah.

But this, when I did the pilot, I was gone for a month. And he, this was like his first time kind of experiencing that. And he did pretty well. He's still at that age where it's like, FaceTime's not always the move. Right. I have to check in first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it a FaceTime day or not, you know?

Like, is it going to make it worse? Is it going to make it worse if he sees me? Yeah, sometimes out of sight of mind is a little better. It's hard to figure out. They're adaptable, though. They're so adaptable. And I also try to tell myself, like, even though our job takes us away from our kids and our family for like these chunks of time that are so hard, we also get the privilege of like, you know, a whole month off and like just be around all the time or like take nice trips or, you know. So it's right.

It's its own... It's its own kind of balance. Yeah. Like, I'll make sure I won't work right after the show rap. Like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always say God doesn't give with two hands. Yeah.

There's always a trade. There's always a trade. There's always a trade. Yeah. And the trade is you get more concentrated time when you get home. Yeah, which is amazing. Did Brooklyn should hear? Mm-hmm.

So lucky. Dream. Dream. Such a dream. Yeah. At Radford. At Radford? At Radford?

At Radford. It would be better. I mean, seven-minute commute. I mean, yeah. I would bitch on the days that we, like, shot downtown. I was like, ugh, you gotta go downtown. Yeah. That's cute.

Totally. I know. You really take it for granted. I shot a show for, like, four years at the Warner Brothers lot. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, I know to fucking go to Burbank. Like, yeah. At the time, it was like 15 minutes away.

15 minutes. Oh, yeah. That's a gift. I know. I know. It is amazing. I know. I sound like, it's just like, it's crazy.

But yes, that's so lucky. And what a great show to have been a part of. Yeah. How much fun was that? It was really fun. It was really fun. As much fun as it looked like and as much fun as it seemed we were having, we were having that much fun. Yeah.

How many seasons? Eight. Holy shit. Wow. It was like almost a decade of my life. So how do you kind of put that to rest? Like, how does that go? Honestly, it's, I don't know.

I actually, I was working yesterday on the Universal lot and found out that three people that worked on Brooklyn were like on the stage next to the one I was shooting on. So I went over there to say hi to them. And then I left and I was like so happy that I just got to catch up with them and hug them and see them. And then also simultaneously like so sad. Yeah. And the, like, first thing I did was, you know, text our little group chat that we have. And I was like, you guys, and he just saw like Matt and Tony and B. And it was awesome. And then, you know, and then we just all started like texting. And, and it's weird. It's just weird. You spend so much time with these people. And then, yeah, like now, I think this is the longest I've gone without seeing like Joe and Andy and stuff because we've all been in different cities. in different times. And it's weird. Yeah.

It's weird. Yeah. It's super proud of it. And people have been like, I'm, there's like a whole slew of like young people that are finding it now since it's gotten on Netflix. Yeah. Which is kind of fun. It just keeps going.

It keeps finding. Yeah. It keeps like finding little new lives. And so which is nice. People are like, it's so funny, which is amazing to hear because it was now, you know, over a decade ago. Right. But it still hits.

So the fact that it still hits, that it still makes people laugh. Yeah. It's huge. It's huge. Like, yeah. Is comedy your favorite? Like, what's your favorite? Because you switch to, that's not comedy.

Gross point? No. I get to do a little bit of fun stuff. You're scared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I love them both. I think comedy is still not intimidating. but it's, you know, I don't know.

I feel like you can prep. Like with drama, you can prep. You can really do your work. Comedy is like showing up and being like, I hope the funny gods are with me today. And I hope some ideas come in my brain. And I hope I can think of some stuff to do. And here we go.

You know, but it's kind of thrilling. You know, there's like an adrenaline junkie kind of part of my personality that loves that about comedy. And, you know, I mean, drama is obviously spontaneous, too, but not in a different way. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's not Johnny on the spot.

No. What'd you say? Johnny on the spot. Johnny on the spot. You know? I know, but just like throwing out these like old-timey like. That was my comedy. That was your comedy.

That was your comedic dreaming. Oh my God. But yeah, I love, yeah, I love them both, you know. Yeah. Yeah. But how is it different living in those two different worlds? Does that affect your world at all? Like, do you find yourself funnier when you're working?

I think I am actually. I do. I think it's just from being around other funny people. It's contagious. It's contagious. You're like getting, you're like ready for the beat. Yeah, you kind of get in like a groove. Yeah, for sure.

But, yeah, and I think, I think drama can be also like a little bit more. tiring in a sense because you can you know especially if you're doing emotional stuff like that's you know comedy's like comedy can be draining if it was like a day where like jokes weren't working and you had to figure it out and you know but then if you figure it out it's like then you have a surge of energy you know they're just different yeah yeah because i do think you are what you eat like i think that what you surround yourself with you carry right so i remember when i I watched too many crime shows I'd start thinking in that voice.

Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, she was merely going to see a friend. Yeah, yeah. And then you got a little bit more paranoid. Yeah. Like, I'm wondering when you were on a soap,

were you like, where were you? No. No, I think the comedy part of my personality when I was on the soap was always trying to undercut that with being silly and stupid. Like, I was really silly on set. And they actually would start giving

Tuck Watkins, who's another actor who works in comedy a lot, who was on the soap with me. And there was a third person who was also just like naturally funny. They started putting us in scenes together. And like, I was like, are you trying to do comedy on a soap opera? Like, what are we doing? But they would like write the silly stuff for us. And I'd be like, great. But I would just like, I would have a crying scene and I would just fuck around on set.

I didn't know to the time that was just like what felt natural to me to like deal with the heavy. You know? Yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Making the crew laugh and like being a total fucking clown and then doing the ridiculousness. And then could you turn it right on to?

I can kind of. Maybe not. No. If I'm like tears, tears, I'm probably more in a focus state, but. Can we make you cry right now? No. Dang it. No.

I wish I was one of those. I probably could, but. I wish I was one of the, no, I'm not. Stephanie Beatrice can do that. Yeah, you'd be like cry and she'll be like, ooh, and there's like tears. I know, it's crazy. I don't know. Some people can just do that.

Misha Barton was like, oh, yeah. Like just drop of a dime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, people just have that ability. Yeah. They really do.

No, no, no, no. No. I have to like focus. I'm like, do work and, yeah. Or do the, you know, have a tweezer in your pocket. Like Joey says. I was young. I'm from friends.

Yeah. I subscribe to the acting school. Is the other one like the smell of fart? Yeah. Yeah. The smell of fart acting. The smell of fart. Oh God, that was a good episode.

Yes. They're just very handy tips. They are. Yeah. Real life. What do you do if you do have to cry? Oh. Like what do you do?

Oh, yeah, if you have to focus. What does it look like? Yeah. I just have to like whatever. I think it changes with each character. Sometimes it is music. I do like making playlists for characters. Yeah.

And then, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I felt that. And then, yeah, it's like whatever prep work works for that, whatever helps you, like, really believe in that moment, I think. Like, the truth of it is, like, how I can get to it. And then if I'm not believing in it, then, you know, tricks that you fall back on. Right.

Yeah. Tricks. Yeah. The soap opera. Yeah. Smell and fart. Yeah. Smell a fart.

I think of something super sad. Yeah. That's always fun. When you have kids, so I find it much easier to like tap into that. Having deep, dark sorrow. I cry. Since becoming a mom, I cry. So much more than I did before.

Yeah, it's definitely easier. I think also getting older. But, yeah. All of the things. All of the things. All of things that come with it. Yes. Really.

All you have to do. I remember I was in acting class and I was having a hard moment. And my teacher just went, shepherd and I was like because that's my son's name. Oh. That's just the word that I know. That's my son's name. But I have had such like a hard thing, like a hard like birth and all of that. Oh, yeah. She would just be like shepherd and I'd be like, yeah, like not even be able to carry on. You know? Like it's that love. Like all I would have to say to you is like. No. Don't. I don't like fry right now. Yeah. See? Yeah. Yeah. It's a.

Like that simple. It is. Sometimes it is. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're sort of ripped open in a way when you have kids. Yeah. Literally. And literally and emotionally and all of it that just something like all these vessels open. I think anything you had walled up just comes crumbling down. And it's intense. But also like literally the things that like I get so emotion sick after I had her and I never did before. Oh, guys. We're going deep. That happened. I mean, it's a thing. Same. You know? 100%. I can't go on any spin rights.

I mean, they change our whole chemistry. They changed our whole chemistry. I had a prescription and one eye gets slightly better after my word for son. And I was like, what? And my eye doctor was like, it happens. I was like, what do you mean? It happens. Like, what is that?

Like, there's all these. crazy hormones in your body and sometimes they like do bad stuff and sometimes they like regenerate your fucking eyesight a little bit. Wait, that's amazing. I need to have another kid. My eyes are going. My eyesight left me after having kids. My hair left me. I have like the thing after having oh. Oh, all my hair. I think it is the cruelest, you know, the cruelest joke that all are, we get this gorgeous, luscious hair when we're pregnant. While you're pregnant and breastfeeding, Like all of it. Then it all fucking falls out.

Goes. It's like all of it. The one consolation prize besides the baby, obviously, is that we should get to keep our hair, our pregnancy hair. No, I'm telling you, this ponytail. Or the glowing skin. Or the glowing skin. Yeah.

I would take the hair over the skin. I would take the hair. Were you like pulling out mountains of hair and like it's like everywhere you go? Yeah. In the shower like just. And the little like, yeah. And the baby hair. Oh, the baby hair.

Oh, the baby hairs. Little baby hairs. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When I was pregnant, I was working on Brooklyn. And I remember the hairdresser was doing my, the hair person was doing my hair. And she held up literally like a chunk like this thick, but it was short hair. It was only to hear.

And I was like, I thought I had like a bat. Like, I was like, what the fuck is that? And she was like, I was like, why is it so short? Like, thinking like, did my, like, crazy? My husband cut my hair in the middle of the night. Like, how did this happen? And she was like, it's new hair. And I was like, whoa.

It? Crazy. Does your hair dry like that? No, it's a little bit done from work yesterday. Okay, because I was offended. Yeah. I'm glad to hear. No, no, no, no.

Okay, because it's a day old show hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The old show hair. But you still have beautiful thick. I'm just my hair. I know, mine too. I feel like my hair looks. like Joan Jett.

Like it's like a mullet. It has, it has naturally cut itself into these weird layers. It naturally cut into a Joan jet. 100%. You're like, I haven't been to the salon in years. And I just, this happened. My hair. You guys, my hair has not been cut in years.

I did not have layers. I didn't have bangs. What is this? Maybe it's new hair. What? This is not. It just keeps going. It's like this.

It keeps going up. Like when she said yesterday, she goes, all my hair is shrinking. I was like, I don't think that happens. I don't think your hair shrinks. It's 100% shrunken. I don't think it shrinks. I don't think that happens. That is what happened.

It happened to me. I mean, you're witnessing. Never had bangs. Never had a cut. At least the past. Look at all this. Seven years. Look at this.

This is all new. Oh. That's all new. See? What are you doing? Are you doing something? Vagamore. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. She's doing something. It's working. It's working. I do think those, I was taking a hair supplement for a while after, like nutrifle or something. No, it was, it was called like hair finity. Oh. I think my nanny after, my first nanny told me about it, she was like, you used to have to get some hair finity. I was like, what is that?

And it did help. Maybe I need it. I think the things help. Mm-hmm. I think the things help. The things like... Joan Jett needs some help. Yeah.

And you should take, which you have is the needed collagen powder. Okay. Yeah. I have all the things. All the things. I'm going to get on it, guys. Just start taking all the things.

I'm going to shrink anymore. And then it will stop shrinking. It will stop shrinking. It's self-cutting hair. So I have. That is help cutting hair. It's its own stylist. It's its own stylist.

The Joan Jets. But think of all the money you're saving. Yeah. But is it helping me? I mean, I'd rather be spending the money. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. The things we do and go through is all I have to say. Oh, no. And then the guys just sit there and then they get these crows feet that start making them look more

attractive. It's infuriating. Have you noticed that when like the guy smiles and you see all those lines and you're like, oh. That's hot. Or like a salt and pepper hair. You're like, oh, I know. And it always comes in like the perfect pattern. Perfect pattern. I'm just like, How cute. That's how I do. I have a random gray streak. Yeah. And then just like it's all unevenly.

Yeah. And it looks like a pub and you're like, why? And then your boobs change. Everywhere I go though, my husband gets compliments on his hair. Like everywhere. People come up to us like strangers. And they're like, I love your hair. That's so annoying.

Do you like his wrinkles too? Yeah. You know? They do. They do. his penis. You do. Oh, yeah, do you like this penis?

Do you? Sandra. It's so true, man. I remember when my dad even went like salt and pepper gray and like I remember clocking like the attention or compliments he would get from like, you know, awkwardly from other moms or whatever. Yeah. People talking about my dad being this handsome man.

And I was just like, why is this? Yeah. Happening. Why is this happening? Yeah. It's not fair. No. What is...

Although, well, no, I'm not going to be right. No. No. I mean, it's also how we've been conditioned. So that's what I was going to ask. You think that that's what it is? Yeah. I think that's a big part of it.

I mean, I think men legit do get like kind of better looking with age, but I think that women do too. We've just been conditioned to be like the male version of it is. more acceptable and attractive. Right. Yeah, we need to, like, do something about that. What do we do about them? Protop.

Celebrate? No, no, no, no, no. That's the opposite. I'm kidding. Yeah, I think celebrate, like, only women who are beautiful more. Like, be more loud about it, you know? Yeah, be more loud about it. My mom just finally, like, she stopped dyeing her hair a long time ago, you know,

and she does some great. My mom, too. And it looks so good. She gets so many compliments on it. Oh, she does. I joke about my gray streak, but, like, I, I, actually hope it stays until I'm ready to go gray one day, like that it's not all, because I think it will be, it's like a little bit of like a cruella. Yeah, it's like a lightning streak. Yeah,

you can like almost, it's like kind of looks like a highlight. Oh, no, I don't see it. But sometimes there's like, you can kind of see it. You're like it shows up sometimes. The dye, well, it doesn't take like the dye as much. Yeah. So it always like is a little lighter. Yeah. But it's like kind of a cool streak. I'm not ready to have it. No, but I hope one day when I am, it'd be cool. It'd be cool. cool if it didn't all go gray and I still got to like enjoy the street. Is it Linda Alvarez on the news? Do you know who I'm talking about? I don't. No. Nobody knows. Oh, somebody up there knows. I'm just kidding.

Because she's got black hair and she's been like local news forever and she has one big gray streak. Yes, I know what you're talking about. I love that. I totally picture her. I did not know her name. I love that she's like really in with the local news. I guess. Like what? Like good day? Not good LA. No, just like local. I have no idea. Okay. I feel like it's like local news or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. There's a lot of local news in my house. Every day I walk in, there's local news. Isn't that weird? No. No. The news is on in our house a lot too. Is it local news? I usually turn it to local news because a lot of times it's like

CNN or something more serious and then as soon as like the kids might be paying attention, I change it to like local news. Oh, see, I don't change it away from local news. I guess it depends. Well, in the morning, it's like good day, LA. That's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're cheerful and it's not like all the dead things.

Yeah. Like, here's, the world is burning. Yeah. But no, yeah, local, local news, like five o'clock. That's the one that's on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, yeah, that's tricky. That's dangerous. I mean, around at least my little kid.

Yeah, no, we can. have it around the kids so they get to go in the other room. It's like, are the grandpa's there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just like, okay. You just got to, yeah, I know, I know. You want to see how many people got shot in L.A. today. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, there was a home invasion down the street. I went to pick up my kids. I told you this, right? Mm-mm. I went to pick, oh, you were gone. I went to pick up my kids. Right, down the street. Uh-huh. And the school is blocked off and there was cops. And I was like, no, no, no, what is going? on.

Oh, God. Worst thing you want to see by your kid's school. Yeah. And they were like, we have it blocked off because there was a home invasion two doors down and the owner shot gun. One is on foot and the other one died. And I was like, okay. And they're like, so he's at large and we're just keeping the school lockdown.

And I was like, okay. And then the local news was there. And I was like, oh, Linda Alvarez. Linda. Oh, Linda. Linda. Yeah. Do something. I'm like my family is probably watching this from the living room right now. Oh my God. It's scary though. Wow. That is scary. In the middle of the day. In the middle of the day. But I feel like that the last like couple robberies or what have been day. Day. Day. Well, they have those like grab and what is it called? Oh, like smash and grabs. Smash and grabs. Yeah. Those are during the day. It's all during the day. I guess I would rather it be during the day than like in the middle of the night when you're talking. sleeping. You're like at least be courteous where you don't scare us too much. Yeah, yeah.

I have a better chance of being like prepared maybe or doing something during the day. Yeah. Maybe. This took a dark turn and I'm sorry. I apologize. She's really good at that. I am too sometimes. So she's really good at the dark turns. The local news. Should we talk about death next? Yeah. No, we're there. We're there and we're ready. Yeah. Well, we only have a... Oh, yeah, we only have a few for a minute. Smidge more minute.

Oh, wow. That went to that. Let's do this. Okay, we'll do a few fun cards. These cards are. Okay. These will... Rob pick them, so don't judge us.

Great. Judge him. Judge. I will judge him. Okay. What's the worst movie you love to watch? Ooh, that's a good one. Oh, Rob got a good one.

What's a bad movie that I love to watch? Oh. Man, there's so many. You know, for a while, it was Jupiter Rising. Oh, is that Channing? No. Is it? Yes.

And Mila. And I just loved to put it on at night. Cute. I haven't seen it. This is a fun ride. And I just like to go on it before I go to bed. I like it. I do.

This is so random. What is the best advice for a single father getting back out there to date again? You are the expert on this. In case you guys didn't know. Yeah. God, I have no, I don't know, man. I've been with my guy for 20 years. I don't even know how to date.

I'm not in a position to give anyone dating advice. Okay. I respect that. The house is on fire. What's the one item you grab? My children? Yeah. What about an item?

Item. Item. Okay. I mean, they are items. Yeah. I guess probably, probably my engagement ranks. I don't always have it on. Oh, that's a good thing to grab. I would probably grab that. Yeah. Yeah. Does it hold up? Yeah, it does. What do you mean? We've been together 20 years. I don't know. Does she still like it? Does it? Oh, I do. I love it. You know what? I thought you about it. It's like, that too, that's so funny.

No, it's beautiful. I do, I do. I love it. But over the, I have to get it resized. It's like a little bit. Sometimes it's tight. Like, yeah, it's a little bit tight. Like, yeah, I think just getting older.

Kind of like a noose around your neck. Yeah. It's a little tight. Just a little, I can live with it. But like, it's just a little tight. This is a question from Rob. So this is not, we don't want to know this answer. But if you had a day.

for a day. What would you do with it? Oh, Rob, you wrote that one just for me. I would do all the things. Right? Yeah. I would pee everywhere. That's so important. And I definitely would masturbate.

Yes. Right? I definitely would try to find someone to have sex with. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. I mean, right away.

We need to you. I only have it for a day. Just for a day. There's a lot. And maybe like skinny dip. I don't know. Just to see what it feels like. Feels like in the water.

Yeah. Lapping around. Just do that little, you know, they do that. Oh, I definitely would do that. I would do that. I would do a lot of wiggles. A lot of wiggles. A lot of dances.

The size slap. Hula hoop naked. Go streaking somewhere. It would be a busy day. It would be a lot. If I woke up one day and had a dick, I'd be like, oh, clear the schedule. I have so much to do today. Oh, my God.

Yeah, it'd be a whole thing. I'd be stoked. That'd be fun. That sounds like a fun movie. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's called a dick for a day. That's a best movie.

Dick for a day. Clear. I would stick for a day. Yeah, I need to clear my schedule. I don't know how long I have this, and there are things that need to get done immediately. Do you know where I can do? find a safe prostitute. Would you, would you hit up a girl you knew?

I think, like, would you? I know, that was what my next one would I have sex with? Right. Oh, God. I mean, first I would check to see if my husband had a vagina because that would be, I would be like, was this a switch situation? Yeah. And then if not, yeah, I probably would just call, I don't know.

All my girlfriends I think are hot. And they're like, are you down? This is weird, but are you down? I just need to do this once. It doesn't have to be weird. It doesn't have to be weird. You could just lay there. It doesn't have to be weird.

It'd be so weird. Oh my God. No. Oh my God. I couldn't. I could not. Oh, sorry. I was thinking about it.

No, I know. I was like, God, be so fun. Yeah. Yeah. Some deep thought into that one. Yeah. If you could listen to only one album for the rest of your life, which would it be? Oh, man.

Miseducation of Lauren Hill. Ooh. That's mine. Yeah, that is yours. Yes. Yeah. It came out on my 17th birthday. It's a perfect album.

It's a perfect album. Uh-huh. I said a perfect outfit. It's a perfect outfit. That too. You want to do it. Last one. Okay.

You're going on a ski vacation with. Three close friends. Who would you bring? Pick three people. And you're going to want to maybe pick people that we might know who they are. Right. Okay. If I was just like, I would take Elena and Zoe. And then I'll get to the second part once you pick those three people. Okay. Three people. That's not the question. On a ski vacation. God, I don't even know if I know anyone who skis. Um, I would, you know what, I probably would take Joe and Andy and Stephanie. Just off the, great. Perfect.

Oh, no. There's an avalanche. Great. And you're, and you all get trapped in the cabin. Who would you eat first? Oh, God. Okay. With your face, you're crying.

I am crying. Oh, God. I hope he's not mad. I mean, I would eat Andy first. The only answer. I feel like Joe is like maybe would have the most ideas about how to survive. And then I would need Stephanie there for like. Your dick.

Dick for a day. And so, you know, so then that just leaves Andy, who I think would just be, like, freaking out maybe. And, like, yes, he would also be, like, keeping things light and making us laugh. But at the end of the day, I just, I'm sorry, Andy, but I feel like you would contribute the least to our survival. And so we'd have to eat you first. Sorry, Samberg. Sorry. Love you.

Love you, bad. This might be some thin, thin little thighs, though. Yeah. It's true. But he's tall. He's the tall. There's a lot of pins. He's the tall glass of the three of us. So that too. That was really worth it. That was worth it. We have to end on that note because there's nowhere to go from here. No. That was the best thing that's ever happened on this podcast. Yeah, we're done. We're done. That's a wrap.

We're never doing another podcast again. Enjoy your podcast retirement. That was a headgum podcast. Thank you.