Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Patti Stanger on Listening To Your Intuition

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

Rachel and Olivia chat with The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger about her process for finding and building successful relationships for her clients, how dating has evolved over time and her own personal reflections on love.Watch the video episode on YouTubeRight now save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/BROADIDEAS.Like the show? Rate Broad Ideas 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Broad Ideas via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room,

and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hax podcast, on HBO Max or wherever you get your podcasts. awesome. I did not sound like myself when I said her name. I don't know what that was about. I was channeling. I don't know. Patty? Yeah. Maybe. Or judge for yourself. I thought you were going to say or judge Judy. One or the other. That too. It was awesome. We did like a full dating episode. It was cool. I feel like we're in a nice hot streak of funny weirdos and experts.

Yes, we're doing, we're manifesting our dreams. Funny weirdos and experts. That's all of my group text. I like it. I'm writing when you're done. We're just chatting away. I was like, look at her, cute her shoes. Aren't those adorable?

I know. I love them. She got out of the car. Why? They don't know. They're like they're so in style right now. I just, I like to be comfortable. Are they comfortable?

They look comfortable. I don't know yet. Oh, you'll tell me at the end of the day. Yeah. I have a pair of slain that look good and they're not comfortable. Really? Yeah. That's really unfortunate.

Yeah. That and Chloe, I switch off sometimes. Oh, they're so cute. But then, yeah. Beauty is pain. Beauty is pain. You would know. You were on TV.

Oh. Well, yeah. I had like platform ugs built for me. So if my feet were off camera and I would still have height. That's amazing. Is that an O.C or the Dixie? On the O.C. Yeah. So you know the guy who's the star of Dixie, the one that, the really cute guy.

There were two. Wilson, Bethel or Scott Porter? Scott, I think of Scott. His wife was my casting agent. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? And he followed me in the airport one day. And he was on Ginny and Georgia.

He'd just come back from Boston and I was like, I did the stupid show. I don't think anyone's going to watch it. I'm like, I have a feeling it's going to be really good. And he's like, how do you know? I was like, the premise you said is cute. Like da-da-da-da. and I loved it. Yeah.

Anyway, his wife is our casting agent. That's so funny. He was telling me about like she would tell him stories at the end of the day, how the craziest millionaires just to come in, yeah? What? Yeah. Oh my God. That's so funny.

Now Millionaire Matchmaker has a different, it's like, needs to be like. Well, tell you what we're doing. Yeah. I mean, I can tell you on the air whenever, but we're trying to bring Millionaire Matchmaker 2.0 when the women are the millionaires. Because that's what my real business is like right now. And that would be.

Season 4 had a lot of women and it was like a test. And if we do that, that'll blow the door off. I want to bring the new and prove version in. There's so much time. There's so many women that are single, like Jennifer Amiston, people like that. I'm like, you know, the list down in Hollywood and you're like, well, J-Lo's probably on her next husband as we speak. But, you know, like, there's a lot going on with women. And it's like the men are just like they build Billi-Chek, 24 years old, yesterday, getting in

engaged. I'm sitting here going, oh my God. Are they engaged? She's got control of him with the money and everything. His family's going insane right now. Really? Yeah. She's insane. Well, those girls. And they're so entitled in the 20s. You know, they don't want to work. They just want the money. Who are these people? He was the coach for the Patriots forever. Yeah. He's the one that brought the rings to Tom Brady. Yeah. Got it. He brought the rings. He's like 70. What's how old is it? He's older. And his girlfriend was like, his girlfriend was like, I've seen 20.

Yes. Yeah. So tell us about that because there's different theories. Are we on? Are we on? Yeah, we're on. We just get right into it. Oh, I love this show.

We're just talking. There's no opening. You can do that. No, no, no, no. Oh my God. I want a podcast. What's? Okay.

So there's a thing going on half the age or less than half the age in this case. So it would be Brad Pitt, 30. He's 60. Why? Because these girls. see a life. You know, it's a burkin and a plane, basically. That's what they're seeing. And that's important to them that they have their little burkens and their private planes and they get to do their content. And in our day, there was no content. So it was just like, oh, God, could I spend a whole weekend

with this guy, this ugly old guy? Like, I'll be honest. I want to- Not Brad Pitt, though. Let's be clear. No, no. Brebb is, like, Brett, you've bought Brett Bix and addict. So you get. So, my, it'd work well. Right. Okay, all right. So if you're, like I don't drink, okay? Yeah. So if I was like a non-drinker and I don't have an addiction, I just don't like it. And it gives me headaches.

I could not, and I was half that girl's. I couldn't date him. The addiction part will go up and down like a yo-yo. And then he doesn't see his kids. There's a lot going on there to impact. So as much as he's hot, you're getting a lot of other stuff with that. But even George married someone, was it 16 years younger? So these younger girls have more...

It's like sometimes they're not even cute, but they're young. And so they like the whole young thing because they can manipulate young girls. They can't manipulate. But in this case, Bill Belichick's getting manipulated. Do you think that that's really... She must be wild in bed or something. Do you think that's really what it is about being able to manipulate them? So there's theories too, and tell me what you think of this, that the more success a man has, the more money,

the less time he has. And for the younger girls, it's less of, you don't have to manage anything else with it. Like, if you meet someone at our age, we've got a business, we've got maybe children, big lives that take up a lot. And so we can't really share it in the same way as a 24-year-old that goes, where are we going? But then again, you've had experience in the field. So you're going to know, like, okay, this, that. Like, you know, she's looking up to Brad, like, you know, she works into jewelry company, and she's like, oh, whatever you say. And in his world, that's a lot easier than Angelina Jolie. Right. Maybe not Jennifer Anson, but Angelina Jolie. And so he's going, this is simple. My sobriety is probably on the line. I got to do this. I can't have a wave maker,

you know, a wave maker. Now, the thing is, with the younger girls, they maybe appreciate more. They've got their own stuff going on, but there's a lot of narcissism in that 20-something group because of the content that's going on on social media. They're obsessed with every little thing they can get their hands on. So their minds are not necessarily in on the guy. When our day, it was like, oh, what can I do? Can I be your secretary? Can I get your cleaning?

Can I this? Can I that? Can I cook for you? And they're like, dude, yeah, you go do your thing and I'll do mine. And I'm watching them. And there's an indifference that we did not have because our mother's trained us. to give. It's natural give. Women are natural givers by nature. It's true. Yeah. You know, it's nature versus nurture, right? So we're natural, give, give, give, give, give. We're now learning no. Now, how does a man fall in love

with a woman? Do you know how? How? Sex. No. Women fall in love through sex. Women fall in love through oxytocin. That's sex. Men fall in love through vasopressin. That's right. How does he get vasopressin? Stress hormone. By doing things for you. not by you doing things for him. And if you could, if I could teach one thing before I die, don't do anything. Let him do everything. And he will fall in love. And then he'll fall in love stressed because he can get stressed out by it,

which they say is the number one thing. But it's also like fixing shit for you, no? Like it's fixing like, oh, the IKEA furniture came in today. I'm going to build your bookshelf, you know. Or give me your dogs. Let me take them for a walk. Like the more he does for you, and I don't mean just money, the more he does for you, the more he's going to fall deeper, deeper, deeper.

Vasopristen kicks in and then oxytocin kicks in. But you can't have oxytocin without vasoprosin. That's the alchemy. That's the science. I didn't make the bodies up. No, you didn't. And you see it all over the place with, you're like, why is that wonderful, fantastic guy with this high maintenance girl?

Right. It's because he's working for it. And she's probably bitchy. Yeah. And she's probably complaining. and he's just like Gaga. Yeah, I've seen it all the time. I'll see that and I'll also see if the two break up,

he may go to a lesser girl, which I've seen too, where he goes to the simple Sally who's not as pretty because there's a study going on where men are now going for the average girl because they want the peace because they're so overwhelmed because they're getting feminine. Like in California, the men are very feminine. They might look pretty, but they're feminine

under the hood of the car. And, you know, whether there's estrogen in the bottled water, which is the theory is the plastic, this generation of men in their 50s are really getting feminized. And it's kind of gross. Women are really grossed out, especially online when they're dating and they're seeing these men and they're going, yeah, no. But you're not saying, like, the only way a guy's going to fall in love is if you do nothing. Or if you're a bitch or like whatever. Not such a bitch because I don't think, like you, I can't see you being a bitch. No. I can see you being like firm and standing your friend. Sure.

Right, but not like nasty and snappy and, you know, real, I don't want, you don't want a guy you push around because then you don't really hate him. But I can see you saying, oh yeah, I can't try across town. I just, I don't feel comfortable right now. It's dark out. I don't, you know, blah, blah, come pick me up. I can see you doing that. Whereas like if he does little things during the week for you, picks up the dinner, you know, gets the theater tickets, whatever. It's like he's scoring in his mind because he falls in love by doing because when he does, he feels good.

We're the opposite. In order to feel good, right, we're the opposite. Think about that. That's so interesting. Yeah, it's all science. But we didn't have the science until like about five years ago. We didn't know the alchemy of attraction. We were thinking, oh, yeah, the more I gave it.

Like Pat Allen, my mentor was really great, but she'd say to me, if a guy, tells you to do something, you do it. Now, I was trained that way, or my mother would say, you must be indispensable at work and in love. These are the worst things to give to a woman. I was like, where did I get that? So I was an overgiver. And also gifts are my love language. So the more I give, I give a gift, whether it's handmade or I bought it at the store. And I thought, oh, I screwed myself. I mean, I really took the last two years take a look at all my relationships. And I've been asked to be married four times, but one official engagement with it. the ring. And then I said, what was wrong with all these men? And they all wanted to change me.

They were all control freaks. And three were narcissists like my dad. Because we fall in love with what's familiar. Now, what's familiar is the wounds, okay, that we felt as a child and we get triggered by the person that shows up that's familiar so that we can work at our karma. And you know that from spiritual psychology. And so it usually somebody that is not the healthy person for you. You have to say, no more, I'm done with this. If you're not healthy, I'm not going out, not putting care and makeup, I'll stay home with Netflix, my true boyfriend. You know what I mean? Like, really? And if you can be like that, you'll level up, especially in the law of attraction, you know, with manifestation, you'll level up because you'll start,

the creepies will still come for a minute and then you'll start to see them before they shop and you get rid of them right away. Like if you're online and you're shocking to a guy and in 10 seconds, you can tell right away. Like, yeah, no. If you're reading vibrational frequency, you'll go, yeah, no, yeah, no, you know. And you'll know not to get out at the door and go, well, I want to go out for dinner, I want to have a nice date. That's for teenagers. Who has time for that? Exactly. It's really, who has time? Seriously. You know, it's like, and then you go on the date and then you're the therapist at dinner. I can't tell you how many times they've done this to me. And I'm just like, last couple weeks ago I went on a date, it was fixed up with this nice, good looking,

wealthy guy, but I didn't like that. He didn't have kids and he was never married because I like men who are married and have children. And so I get on the date and the first thing he says to me, and he knows who I am and, you know, the matchmaker fixed me up, said, all right, don't talk about, you know, your love life because you're going to go into matchmaker Lane. What does he do? Patty, why am I single? What's wrong with me? Oh, stop it. Oh, he wanted you to work. So I ate my nice dinner around the corner at Dear Jane's. I've been. Anybody wants a good fish restaurant in Marina Del Rey. And I'm so excited to get home and watch what's on TV.

And I go home and he goes, oh, I'll call you before you go to New York. Did I want him to call? No. A week goes by and I'm like, great, he didn't call. He calls. He had the audacity to think that, you know, I would go out with him after a week of not hearing from at 57 years old. And I said to myself, just tell him you're in a relationship. I said, oh, I met someone.

Jesse goes, how? I said, I was in New York. I met someone. Like, goodbye. Yeah. So now I'm turning him into a client. Oh. That's amazing.

Yeah. And giving commission to the matchmaker. So yeah, because he needs help. He said, look, I need help. And the thing is, like, there's a lot of unhealthy men out there because they haven't done the work because we were trained. Fix yourself, fix yourself, fix yourself. But the men have never been trained to fix themselves. Now they're starting to realize they have no choice because time's running out.

Yeah. So how do you go about it? Like, what's the process when? you have a client and, you know, like for people who aren't maybe. So a coaching client will come in and I have to figure out what's wrong. And to your spiritual psychology, I read vibration. So in the hot seat on Millionaire Matchmaker, if they were sitting there, I am Claire audience for those in the woo-woo world, I hear a voice.

It's usually their guides. And I go, and I can see their past lives and I can tell you what's wrong. I'm like, oh. So for instance, Claudia Jordan from House Voice came on. And she was in a really bad mood that day. My showrunner's like, oh, this is not going to be an easy one. And I sat in the chair and I looked at her and I heard a voice and said, ask her what happened when she was in college. She was about 18 and ask her what happened?

Okay, what happened? She starts hysterically crying and said, I was raped. What? Date raped. And she said, I called my dad and he wouldn't listen to me. I said, okay, we're going to call your father right now. He's like, but I don't talk to my father. No, you're calling your father right now.

And you're going to tell them how you feel. They both start crying on the phone. They had to come to Jesus moment. And, you know, it was interesting because she really broke. And if you know Claudia, she's not a person who breaks. Like, you don't see her in house always breaking. And that's what we would do. So when I have a real client, I flew to New York a couple weeks ago, I have a gay client. And he met someone outside of my matchmaking. And he wants this guy really badly. And I went to dinner with them. And I had to re-bolt their vibrations and find it what the hiccup was. And then I kind of kind of fix it and sew the little quilt back together. But sometimes they fight me. And that's the worst. So they're paying me and they're fighting me. I'm like, why are you fighting me? I mean, your way hasn't worked. Right. What do you got to lose if I see something that? And a lot of times it's simple things. Like if you break down and cry because your mommy did this. Like my ex swore to me up and down, my mom didn't love me. La la la la. My dad did this to me. And I'm like, oh my God, you're in your 50s, grow up. Yeah.

he would constantly complain, never go to therapy. And I said, you know what? This is on you. Like, I went to forum years ago. There was a, I don't know if you guys know, landmark forum. It's like guest. And I went years and years ago when I first got to California. And I went in to fix my love life problem because I was making bad men. I liked that bad boy. The bad boy turned me on sexually. The nice boy didn't. And I went in there and I'm adopted. And I ended up forgiving my biological mother, which was the real wound, not the men wound. It was that I was abandoned. I wasn't good enough. I don't think I'm, I have an issue with I don't feel I'm pretty enough. Like, especially when you get to L.A., you're like, not enough, not enough. And the brain keeps saying that, you know,

like, and then of course, what happens, you meet people which reinforce that. So I had to work on that issue of my self-esteem, but it really wasn't the men. I was being given up for adoption. I didn't know that. Wow. So we work on core wounds. we work on ancestral lineage, which is really bad. Like my mom, my biological mom was an addict, a heroin addict when I found out. She was on the run. So while I'm in a room, she's probably having anxiety attacks left and right. And that gave me anxiety in life.

The epigenetics of it too. Yes, the epigenetics, which absolutely. Yeah. It's so real. And people always say like, oh, well, if the parents are an addict, learn behavior. your nature versus nurture? No. They've debunked all that now. No, it's that it's more about what the message she was saying. Yeah. I didn't go through stress hormone. I was the opposite. I was like, I don't really want to do drugs, maybe a little in college and I smoked weed in high school.

But when I got out, now especially, I don't drink. I learned about biohacking. I learned about what alcohol can do to the brain, which we're finding out is like one drink and it's over. Yeah. So now I'm learning that. Dr. Amon and all his stuff. And yeah, Stephen Diary of his CEO did a great podcast on this the other day. I love him so much. He did it and he was drinking. He said, look, this is what I, you know, he's British. They don't know any other way.

He's like, this is what I drink every night. She's like, well, let me tell you what that's going to do to you. And so. What does it do to you? Now they're saying zero. Yeah. They used to say, you know, moderate mild. Like a red, red wine.

Now they're saying zero alcohol. Yeah. Now, and also weed. Yeah, weed is worse than alcohol for the. So, and we used to think cannabis would give you less anxiety, which, you know, the cannabis is super tuber charged. I mean, oh, my God, from compared to when I smoked in high school, forget it. And so, also, the liver is affected. So I'll do castor oil liver packs and stuff.

I do a lot of homeopathic stuff on it. Wow. Yeah, which also helps. And if your body is an optimum balance, your brain will be an optimum balance. You'll process more, maybe more than even 10%, which is what we think we use. and the Peno Glan will open up, which is our psychic center, and you'll start to be intuitive. Like, I had a friend who was almost mugged. So we're walking down the street in New York, and I go right and she goes left, like Madison Avenue kind of thing.

And she goes on a left street, and she just got, she's about to turn to go to her house, and she just said, I'm not going that way. And she turned around, and right in front of her building, a lady got mugged. What? At the same moment she was supposed to be there. So it's like, or like not getting on the plane. when the plane's going to crash. It's like your intuition just opens up. And it happens with relationships too.

That guy's bad. When you heard the trouble song from Taylor Swift, even though she went towards the guy, was that the Jake Jeline? I don't remember who was who, or maybe it was John Mayer. You know not to go there. And so that's how I always think it's really important

to listen to the voice on the phone or FaceTime to get an auditory feeling of the guy when you're dating. What about when you have, because I know for me, even as an addict, I had to learn to stop listening to my instincts. Ooh, so you have to do the opposite. I have to do the opposite, contrary action. Because my instincts are there to protect me and keep me out of harm. Right. So they will say numb this, avoid this.

They will say the opposite in order to keep me safe. Did they teach you that? Yeah. And everything I've learned as far as. But here, there's a difference between intuition and instinct. Right. Your instinct is there to make sure the lion doesn't get you. But your intuition is there to guide you.

Yes, you have to know the difference. You have to know the difference. So how do you know the difference? You have to be regulated. Your nervous system has to be regulated. So you have to be calm in the, so to make the decisive decision of what to do, you have to feel calm. You have to feel calm and intuition will only speak through clarity's voice. Interesting. Instinct will speak through fear. Wow. Right? And question on the dating front because I remember there was a situation when I was younger, quite a few situations where people would say, no, no, no, not him. And my body would say yes, yes, yes, yes, him.

So you were the opposite. Right? Yeah. But I remember one of the last people I dated before my husband. Yeah. I had my sponsor at the time. Everybody was like, no. My therapist was like, no. But I had to see it through. So that was your husband? No, before my husband.

So when you went on the day, when you went out with the guy before your husband, how did it make you feel while you're going through that? So my body said yes, right? It didn't feel good. It didn't amount to anything. But I had to see it through. And through that. That's karma, by that. I learned to communicate because he was.

He was a good lesson. He was a nutcracker. Wow. So I learned, I'm going to start voicing what I want. I'm going to start saying what matters to me. I'm going to start doing this. So by the time I got to my husband, I felt comfortable and confident doing that because it had been practiced. So if I would have avoided him.

Right. Then you wouldn't have learned the lesson. That's right. And then you were messed up with your husband. Yes. So there is this theory in spirituality. We come to Earth with soul contracts. Yep.

And we have a list. Okay, and each list is a lesson until you get to, let's say, you're forever love. You know, like she's got a forever love right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. You've got a forever love right now. For now. So each lesson could be really painful. Like, it's very painful because it's supposed to open you up to go, what are you willing to settle for?

What do you really want out of a relationship? And above all, the lesson you learn is clearing karma from past lives so that you don't have maybe have to come back another time. And so when I see people going through appointments or lots of marriages like J-Lo, Elizabeth Taylor, I'm like, oh, those are appointments. They had appointments. Those are karma. Yeah, carmic lessons. Because like even A-Rot, the last one, I'm like, you knew he's trouble. He cheated on everyone. Why would you think he wouldn't cheat on you? You know? And then Ben was probably some twin-flame thing going on there. But I look at people and I'm like, and the thing is, you can't tell someone not what to do because there's a lot.

lesson there. I have a friend who got just getting over a bad breakup with a girl. And it went on for like five years and everybody was like every time she would break up, leave, breakup, leave. And he still couldn't get the lesson. Now I got the lesson because now it's completely over. But he's in the two year window of pain because she hasn't met anyone else. You know what I mean? Like my mom would be like get under another get over another girl, but guy get on top of another girl. Right. That's what my mom said. Yeah. She must be Jewish. She's not. Okay. She would say that. She'd say it's imperative you handle this like a man.

I'm like, what does that mean? Whoa, she said that? Yeah. That's a good one. When my husband and I broke up, she said, she looked at me dead serious and said, it's imperative you handle this like a man. And I was like, what does that even mean? She goes, move fast.

Yeah, they always do. She ever noticed men? I know. Okay, so men. She was right, but she's right because men, 90% of men, not all men. Like, remember, when we say this, it's not always absolute. There's always an exception to the rule, you know? But 90% of men go to the next girl because they don't want to feel their feelings.

So they, and they will, and the girl will be somewhat of the other girl. Like, they'll be a modeling going on. Maybe she's a younger version, or maybe she looks exactly like the ex-girlfriend. Like, it's kind of weird. I've noticed that. Or then he, or sometimes they go a radical opposite because it's easier, like, simpler, like a less pretty girl, a less dramatic girl, a quiet girl that sits in the corner. Like my ex did that. We were like, huh?

You've been with every spicy brunette in the world, and now you're with a blonde who doesn't talk, you know, that kind of thing. It's very interesting. It is interesting. And every relationship is a lesson. And as you're saying it, I'm thinking, like, God, there's been so many. And, you know, it's different for me because I was in my long term a little younger for a very long time. How long were you?

When you did start dating him, how old were you? 25, maybe. Okay, so that's a good age. And then how long did it last for? 11 years. That's a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We had a kid. Yeah, you had a kid. This is not, see, then that person is a soulmate because that person, whether it's a carmic, if it was a terrible, terrible issue, it would be a karmic mate. But if it's a, you know, it ran its course, let's say. You hit the wall or something. That's usually a soulmate and it's meant to be in your life for a while. So that's not somebody that goes away quickly, especially since he's the father of your child. And, um, I don't know, do you have a good relationship with him? Yeah, we, we... Are you, like, friends?

Yeah, we definitely, like, have a partnership in a lot of ways, you know? So you guys, like, if you had a problem, could you go to him and talk to him? I wouldn't say we're friends, like that, like, because I'm so close to my girlfriends, I kind of just talk to them about things. But if you had to go to him for a guy, because he's a guy. I can go to him for things, you know? So that means it's a soulmate relationship, usually. Because if you couldn't talk to him, it would be a hard carmic one. Got it.

In other words, we had a terrible divorce and we have a mediator and that kind of thing. Yeah. That's a carmic one. Got it. But having a child, that's a soulmate. Yeah. And that's important. It doesn't mean it's forever.

But I'm sure you learned so much from that. You're going to grow to the next one and have an even better relationship. Yeah. I mean, it's been a long time since we hadn't. You'll probably get married the next one. I don't know. I just read. I just see that in your energy feeling right now.

Weird. How old are you now? 43. I had to think about it. For a second. God, you look like your 28. Oh, God. Thank you for saying that.

Me too. 45. I feel like you're getting in a relationship in this next year. Either at the end of 25 or the beginning of 26. We'll see. Okay. We'll see. We'll see.

Somebody might introduce you at a party or something. Something you didn't expect. It's like an unexpected thing. I don't feel like it's something planned. Oh, weird. You see a barbecue or something? Like on a deck or something. I love a barbecue.

You like a barbecue? Yeah. I love a burger. I'm going to keep it open now. This girl loves a barbecue. I'm going to look for you now. Now I'm going to look for you. Now put you up on the matchmaker radar.

We have a matchmaker's institute where we certify matchmakers. It's kind of like Hogwarts and Harvard had a baby. And then we had a big party last week in in New York where 150 matchmakers come in. And there's way more than that, by the way. And they go through classes and then we have a big party at the end. And then we pick people who are on the radar. And a lot of them are celebrities and we're like, hey, do you have anyone for so-and-so? Yeah.

I feel like I would love that job. A lot of hard work. though. No, but I get, like, I get that, but it's good work. I mean, it isn't. Like, I got fixed up when I was in New York with a billionaire, but I was not attracted to him at all. Like, so not sure. I was like, God, why can't I like this guy? Bummer. I mean, my legs were shut. It was sealed. And he was a little too political for me and a bit Russian. So I was like, I don't know about this. And, but I thought, God, the idea of that would have been great. Right, right. He was philanthropic. He did a lot of good work for people.

That was the good part about him. He was a nice guy. He just wasn't for me. So I'm like, all right, put him in the back of my mind for somebody else. You know, he comes to California and he lives in New York. So, all right. So there's things like that. Yeah. And sometimes you just come across somebody and you're like, I know that's going to be perfect for so-and-so. Right. That's intuition. Yeah. Right. Like I have that all the time. It's like, we call that the knowing. Like we know. And they'll fight me. Yeah. You know, there's so many people that have fought me. And I'm like, all right, whatever. Don't do it. Well, it kind of goes back to you. You talk about soulmates and karma and all that. One of my favorite books of all times is, what's it called, Rachel, the one I made you read. The Many Masters, Many Masters, Many Lives, Mine Wives. Isn't that the best book ever? The best book of all times. And it was so interesting how they sat next to each other in the waiting room, didn't know.

But he talks about our soul clusters. Yes. Right? And that when we're with our person that we're supposed to be with, I don't remember the way he said it, but it was something along the lines of like, they're going to have a different frequency than we're used to. Because we all travel at this frequency. So if we're going to stay the same, we're going to play in our own frequency. Right.

But to really graduate to the next level, you have to get out of your frequency because your frequency is the wounds. That's so true. Right. And so I can imagine people fighting you on it because it feels form. Everybody wants the same thing, the list. Yeah. And then I say, well, what if you found love and it wasn't the list, would you care? Now, normal people go, yes, I'd love to fall in love.

I don't care how, as long as it makes me feel good. But a lot of men, when you talk to them, and they knew we want the list. I'm like, like the ones you saw, Millier Matchmaker. They're assholes. What's the list? Like, most commonly. The list will be like, I want five foot two blonde and I want her to look like this. And I want her to only between the ages of whatever.

And I don't want. I have one yesterday where a guy was a doctor. bad divorce and um he was okay looking wasn't great looking he was he was indian but he wasn't great looking and so he goes i want a drop dick we're just walk in the room all lies on this person and she's got to be between 25 and 35 and she can't want kids and she can't want to get married good luck chuck i i've waiting list so i said i can't help you i can send you another matchmaker i do that a lot you just send people away i will not just take you anyone just for money. I have a rule. Wow. I'm very strict on that. And we have not been sued,

so we know what we're doing. Yeah. No, seriously. I have a partner in New York, Bonnie Winston, and we have an office in downtown, and we are very strict on who we take. We have to make sure that, you know, we're going to give you what you want. And 80% of the business right now is female. They're the ones coming in, the millionaire asses. Wow. So hopefully with millionaire matchmaker or 2.0, we can do that with millionaireses. Yeah. Because that's the truth. That's what's happening. Women cannot... I don't know what happened since COVID and Weinstein, but the men are not on the streets. They're not at the restaurants. We don't see them at the grocery store. I was at a whole food the other day. I never saw one single guy without a ring on. It's very strange what's going on. They're just not out of the house. I think they're jerking off to porn and, you know, video games and Uber Eats. I don't know. Are they really? There's something strange is going on. And it's like city. city. I think the only place that's cranking right now is Miami. Oh, really? Yeah, South Florida is

cranking. That's one of the top places for men. Especially, they all went down on the East Coast there, got a taste of, not just like sunshine, it got a taste of big space living. Like Travis Kelsey just bought a $12 million house in Boca Raton. He did? And they, yeah, yeah, a couple days ago in one of the big communities there. And people love it there. Boats, yeah, it's fun time, I'm scandalical. No state tax. And you can be old there. You can age there.

Oh, really? Yeah, like, I'm a spring chicken there. I'm young. Like, it's like, you know, here, I'm like an old lady. So it's that, too. They don't make you feel bad about your age there. So it's really a great place for men right now. Plus, you get the international community comes there.

The Canadians, the Europeans, and the South Americans, big South American community. So do people from all over the world reach out to you? Yes. We're global. Yeah. We're international. Okay. Yeah, one of our clients right now is Paris and, like, you know, having the best time we're fixing

our up in Paris, yeah. That's fun. Yeah. And the other thing is, is that there hasn't been any country we haven't been able to find what we're looking for because there's matchmakers all over the world. So we have a network. Then I have the largest database in the business of the people. I mean, I'll literally put something on Instagram with five minutes.

My database will fill up. Yeah. What? Thank you, Instagram. It's so wild. Thank you, TikTok. I mean, there's something. There's so many, like, I don't know, I'm sure so many people, matchmakers, whatever, and I'm sure some are legit and some are.

There's a lot of not legit. I feel like, like, I saw the show and poof them a matchmaker. Yeah. No, no, no, no. A couple years ago, I had like a DM from, do you remember that? Do you remember that? I don't know. We'll go through it.

My competitors. DM me will tell you. One of our, the biggest ones in our business died a few days ago from, like, I think it was uterine cancer. And she was quite young. Yeah, and we were very sad about her. Amber's up with the Angels now, but we were very sad because we're a very small community. I mean, it's a lot of matchmakers, but not compared to anything, not like headhunters, which is what we're compared to. And also, we do a lot of VIP memberships where we go outside our database and we look specifically.

Right now we're looking for a cowboy, like a Kevin Costner type for one of our clients, and we took ads in Cowboys and Indians, and we're networking in Texas and Montana. Oh, my God. So we're looking for a rancher. You really like go for it. Yeah, that's like a show in itself. It's like Farmer wants the wife. Damny. Yeah, she wants Kevin Costner. She wants that kind of guy. Can she get Kevin Costner?

Well, I don't know if she's going to get him, but she might get a Yellowstone type of guy. Right. We're all like, I was a big Yellowstone addict. So I was, I love ranch and horses. Like, my fantasy is to like go on a ranch and just with a lake and Sayanera. Do you ever look at the date of, like, for yourself? Well, this is the problem. They come in and I learn their dirty secrets.

Oh, no. they've done to women and how they've behaved. And I had all the years I've been doing this. And it's got to be over 35 years. I'm third generation matchmaker. I have never been attracted to anyone. Really? Wow. And I weird kind of. And also we were the first ones to do sexual harassment, paperwork and training because of what, you know, like matchmakers have to work with us. And I had matchmakers sleep with the clients and I lost my mind, a lot of shit like that. Yeah, we had a lot of drama. It's fact. Andrew Brule, who did the kissing booth, is my producing partner, and we're working on a scripted

series about my life, but I'm 16, and my mother and my grandmother are matchmakers. And a true story is I was raised Jewish, but I always love Catholic boys. I find that later my biological mother's Catholic. So I used to go to the Christ Church dances in Milver and New Jersey, and I would fix the people up because the boys would be on one side, the girls were another. One of my best friends ended up meeting her husband that way through me. And I got caught by the priest. No. And he came, he made me sit down. He's drinking his wines. He's good looking. He's smoking a cigarette. He's in his 30s. He's like, what do you do in here? Now, I wasn't wearing a Jewish star. Like, you know, I just had a personality. He's like, you don't belong here. What's

going on? And then you're so good at this. You can come every Friday. What? Yeah. And then my mother found out that was another story. Oh. Because she did it for the temple with my grandmother. That's how they, that's how I became a match to my girlfriend. It did it for the temple. They had like I was third generation. That is so cool. But I think my grandmother's hurt. She came from Poland and we were looking back on the ancestry and I think she comes from a line of matchmakers in Poland.

She found my mother's first husband and her second husband. Yeah. Really? Yeah. She was good at it. She was better than my mother. And she was blind. Yeah.

She went all on in intuition. She had psychic awareness. Yeah. She would like literally see somebody and go boom, boom, boom. And my aunt too. My aunt, New York is like really big. she still does it and she just walks her and goes, you belong with this person. Like, it's like a puzzle.

Yeah, and have parties and bring people together. What do you see? Do you see, okay, so you say they argue you, right? Sometimes. So like if they come in with their list. That's kind of like a billionaire, high maintenance, Jeff Bezos type. Okay. Where, I'm not saying Jeff Bezos is like that.

I'm just saying like somebody of that caliber, which is so big money, that they're so, you still like, no one's saying no to them. Give me what I want. So I fixed up Sumner Redstone's a very famous story, you know, and he was kind of like that. But the more he screamed at me, the more I screamed back, the more sex. He goes, oh, I'm getting a boner from you from you screaming at me. Like he loved it. Yeah, you loved, I mean, talk about sexual harassment.

But he was so much fun because he was, he made me, I learned really well and I was on my toes. Yeah. He actually was like the best training I ever had. Who did you set him up with? Oh, well, he ended up with Sydney. Oh, I know her. Right. And then they got engaged and that was a whole other story and a half.

But he went through a million girls. Yeah. And his grandson called me and Shire Redstone. I met his daughter, beautiful, wonderful woman. And I had a fun time with Sumner because even when he got nasty, I got way more nastier back. And then I realized my father was a fighter. So my instincts came at. And then he would calm down.

He'd take me to dinner. He was like an old school gentleman. Very nice. Interesting. Yeah. That should be a series. That should be the next succession, the live of Sumner Redstone. Yeah.

It's a really great story. Some of the stories are. Why do I know? He was sitting tell me stories and it would blow my mind, yeah. You know who he is. Yeah. He was the president of Paramount. Yeah.

Well, he owned Paramount. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, he owned Paramount. Wait, were you CBS on one of your shows? I was Fox. You're Fox. For both of them? Warner Brothers.

Warner Brothers. Yeah. ABC. CW, right? Was CW? Yeah. I would, I just did a show. for the CW last year.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but they're turning into a sports network now. Oh, really? Really? Yeah. Four guys from Dallas own it with the syndicated market. It's not like with the WB. They can't make those shows anymore because they don't own them, you know, vampire

diaries and all that. Yeah. And the originals was my favorite. Yeah, I love the originals. I know I know you're talking about that. Oh, dude, I love that. What are your thoughts on the apps? Because we have a lot of friends not having good experiences.

Okay, let's talk about the apps. So it is not the apps. fault. Let's put it this way. The technology is great. We can tweak it. We can make it better. Like Bumble has a great interface, right? Tinder is now doing that. Hinge is like coming up from the rear and they're owned by the match group, but it's the people that are attracted to it. So you get on there and it's low frequency. I went to college. I own my own business. And you're seeing, no offense, it's a blue collar, the Longshoreman from Long Beach or Altadena or someplace you don't even, it's not L.A. proper, right? It's not Studio City.

And you're kind of like, what? Like, he has no money. He doesn't own a house. And he's too old not to be married, have not been married and have children. And you're like, I keep searching, searching, searching. Now, if you go to New York or you go to Miami, it gets better. But in L.A., it's a rough ride.

I do not recommend it. Like, Whitney did a great job with Bumble. But the problem with Bumble is that, and I heard there's a rumor they're going to make men make the first move too, not just women. That's the rumor, the next step of Bumble. And she just came back and she's amazing. I absolutely love her.

But when women make the first move, it attracts feminine men. So they're getting a large surge of feminine men. And they're not that attractive. And the thing is, like, women look amazing. I mean, I was at a party last week. And I spent a lot of time talking to Chris Jenner. Let's just say she looks ultra-fabulous. Everyone's talking about it.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Anne Hathaway, you know. We'll go back to Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera. Just give me the doctor. That's all I have to say. Is anyone giving up the intel? Well, there's a rumor.

Okay. I'm actually going to see the rumor in New York around there. I will come back and report. Okay. There's a rumor that's Dr. Stephen Levine. Don't you go there? I didn't gatekeep on that. But there's a rumor.

Okay. But the new facelift, the new way they're doing it, it's incredible. I've never seen anything like it. So I'm so curious about it. It's kind of like goes with the bi-hacking like your husband's doing. And so we look fabulous. Where's the fabulous guy to go with the fabulous saddicity? So the boy sober movement is happening, which is 18 to 40-year-old women have sworn off the app, sworn off dating.

Sad as hell. 18 to 40? 18 to 40? That's a large. And by the way, a vibrator is never going to satisfy you like that. So I don't really get it. Because like when I would get upset and people go, oh, just be happy with yourself and enjoy life. I'm like when I want sex. I'm a touch person. My life with language is touch. And so I would be really angry at those people. Like, what do you mean about my life? I've seen every country. I've taken every class. I have friends. I want sex. I don't like that narrative. I've never liked that narrative. What? Yeah. You have to be happy on your own. I hate that. It's like it's, I feel like it's a bullshit narrative. And I also think we're also allowed to want what we want.

Exactly. If you want to be good on your own, then do that. If you want to be good in a relationship, then do that. But this whole like you need to be good on your own. What if there's a part of me that craves partnership? That's the thing. So when your mom, you know, like, it's like, so in the old days we'd get pestered, why aren't you with anyone?

Why aren't you with anyone? Kind of like you didn't want to go, meet your parents for dinner because they would pasture you. Now it's like be happy with yourself and forget when you least expect it. How do you least expect it? It's always in the back of your mind. You see a cute guy walking down the grocery aisle. You're like, oh, I wonder if he's cute. Let me see if he's a ring. You're not going to least expect it. Agreed. So these like lines, I don't know who made this up to put to put women down. But women want to date equal or better. Water seeks its own level. And they have had problems when they dated down. So right now,

Princess treatment is a really big thing. So Anna Christina, who I'm working on a reality show with, she does Black Cat Academy. So I don't know if you know about this because it's kind of cool. I wonder if she did you ever with Hayden. That kind of be a weird thing. I'll tell you about it later. But just to give you a little synopsis, she takes two people that are celebrities. And she goes, he's the black cat or she's the black cat and he's the golden retriever. And you want the guy to be the golden retriever. You've seen that, right, Anna Christina? She's got this theory and it works. So she took, she'll take Kai Gerber and Austin Butler and she's like, he's the black cat.

She's the golden retriever. That's why it didn't work out. Or she'll take jailer or whatever. But then she'll take a couple that really works. And she'll go, he's the golden retriever. He worships her. He gives her, blah, blah, blah. And she does a lot of celebrity so we understand it.

But when you take her classes, it's like stop doing less. Stop making him that five course meal. which my mother trained me cooking as a way to a man's heart. Well, why was that cooking for him? So one day he comes to me and goes, I want you to pay for days. I'm like, what? I've spent like $3 to $500 a week at Airwan. I'm an organic girl.

I only cook Air One. Like, that counts as money to the till. Yeah. And so, like, that was one of the reasons I broke up with my ex because it was like, I couldn't do enough. The more I did, the more he wanted. And the more I got burned out. And then I had to take a step back and go, why?

because in the beginning he was the golden retriever, and I was the black cat, and I wasn't really into him. Then one day I relaxed, the bait and switch happened. Oh, wow. And so we want to find a true golden retriever for life. Someone who loves doing. Well, not to the point where we're doing. We both have very similar taste in men as far as like, we're not necessarily attracted to the golden retriever. Well, okay, let's look at it this way.

Not somebody that gives too much that you doesn't have edge. You still want edge. You want edge. So Golden Retriever with Edge. Golden Retrievers are always perfect. So let's go for a Labrador. Right? Let's go for a Labrador.

True. They're a little less. They're not as going to be like, if you say go pick that up to the Labdor, he'll be like, today I'm not really in the mood. Like they're like a cat. So you want a little edge. A little bit. Right. So, but you also want simple things.

You want to be able to like, hey, maybe he's going to, I like when a man takes the lead. I like when a man plans. I love a man that picks up the check and make sure you got home safe if you're driving. And I like manners. Manners go a long way. I could go on less money, but if you have manners and you make my life easy, I spread my legs. It's just the way it is, okay? So, like, you know, like you want a guy like that, but you don't want a guy that like take, take, take, take takes.

No. And then you're burnt because you, so a lot of bait and switch happens. He starts out one way. And then in the middle, you're six months in, you're manly in love. You've already got oxytocin. And he switches. But what about the love bombing? Well, that's part of the narcissism.

So love bombing. So there's four stages. So there's love bombing. Okay, these devaluation. Okay. There is either reverse discard or discard. So reverse discard means he's mean to you. You leave him as opposed to him leave you.

And then the Hoover, which means he always comes back. My ex is, two months ago, my ex call me is in a relationship with this girl for almost two years. I'm like, and we were on the phone for two hours. And I got lost because I love his kids. I love his sister. So I was asking questions and he was telling me stories. And, you know, we were on the phone forever until his phone died. And I thought, God, what, he was sick.

Where was she? Three nights in a row he was home. Sick. And he doesn't take off for work. He's a workaholic. Sick. And I'm like thinking, where is she? He needed comfort.

And then I said, hey, you're going to move in with her. And she goes, oh, not right now. And I'm like, you're two years in. You asked me to marry him at five and a half months and move in with him. So it's like there was Hoover. And then you have to go, where does the narcissism come from? Okay, my dad was a narcissist. He put my mom and me through X, Y, Z.

Let's break the pattern, which is what I do. And I broke the pattern. Now, I can also see narcissists when they're coming, whether it's for love or work. I can see a guy that's so linear that I'm going to get what I get no matter what. That's a narcissist. And then you have a psychotic. There's like different versions of narcissism. So there's like almost like a sociopath where they have no feelings.

So it's like narcissism at the next level. Saracists usually have empathy for themselves but nobody else. Oh, that's brutal. So the number one thing you want is a man with empathy. Right. If he did like my problem was every guy didn't care about my feelings and had no empathy for me only for themselves. And I had to look back.

Taking the inventory like we do an AA and Alon is amazing. Amazing. If you take the inventory of all your relationships since you were like in third grade, you can even do your father there and work your way up, you're going to see a common denominator pattern. And you're like, like, I did it with Kenya Moore in the show. And she's like, everybody cheated on her. Everyone. There's something there. What?

There's something there. Right. So why do men cheat? Because they're horny. There's a million reasons why men cheat. They cheat because don't they want more attention? they want to feel valuable. Well, they want dominance, that's for sure.

So cheating is not about you. It's about them. Yeah. But then you're like, they'll stay with the person after they cheat. So that every time she stayed with the person after cheat, she got another cheater. Why? Because the vibrational frequency is similar. And she's not changing the frequency and going, I'm never.

If you want you, okay, everything's based on a decision in your mind, right? I am never going to date a cheater again. Okay. The universe goes, great. Let's test you. Yeah. Give you three, four cheaters. What are you going to pick?

Oh, you're not going to pick anyone? Oh, you really mean this. Okay, let's not give you cheaters anymore. That's how it works. Yeah. It's kind of simple, actually. Someone was saying something the other day and they're like, oh, yeah, it's because, you know, victims attract victims. I said, no, they don't.

They attract predators. Right, exactly. It's like you attract whatever is the opposite of your wound. Right. Right. So if your wound is victimized, you're going to attract people. Well, takers attract givers. Yeah.

Because givers love to give. So two givers need to be together to receive and two takers need to be together to learn how to give. But no two takers are ever together. That's the problem. They don't want to. A taker usually doesn't want to work on himself. No, they want to give her. He'd have to fall to the bottom of the bottom of the bottoms to go, holy shit, my life is exploded.

What happened here? What I do wrong? That's rare. A giver will beat themselves up to the pulse. until they figure out what's wrong with them. Yeah. And then they have to learn not to give. And it's instinct to give.

Oh, yeah, I just picked up your favorite, you know, after shave at the CVS or whatever. And I thought this would be nice for you. Like, a little things along the way. And then the taker, like, adds it up in its mind and goes, yeah, she gave me this. Let's get more. Let's get more. Because they're never satisfied. What if it is two givers?

Two givers are wonderful. Wonderful. They take turns. Right. And then they know how to dodge and dark. Hey, honey, you're sick tonight. I picked up dinner. I got you chicken soup.

Like, that's a good one. Yeah. And that's what you should be with. Like, listen, everybody's got a little selfish side in them. Like, we all do, right? But generally speaking, women were taught generationally to put themselves last. And that's like instinct. So we were talking about instinct before.

We have to override that to go, no, not going to do that. And train our daughters not to do that. reaction. Yeah, because when you have a daughter like you do, you want to train it that they don't have to give to get love. Love is just, you should just be to get love. And that's the hard part. Right. When my husband first started hanging out with me and my friends and my family, he thought we were so weird because he's from Pittsburgh. Okay. And his mom, their whole family, they don't act like this. It's a blue-collar town. Are they Catholic?

Yeah. They're cold. They're Catholic. And he came to us and we're like, what do you want on your plate? Let me make you a plate. Rachel's like, let me massage your feet. You know, my other friends are like, do you want dessert? Jeff, do you want this?

And my mom's like, well, don't sit there. Jeff might like that seat. He was like, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Like a coven of women that just want to please. That was the way I was with my. And he comes from a Catholic family. Did he find it off-winning? Yeah.

So one day I loved to, he had like four sisters. And one day the sister had a birthday party at the house. Simple, Mexican, she cooked. It was like delicious. And I was in the kitchen helping, you know, what do you? Like girls, right? And I brought her a present. And I knew she's very bohemian, incredibly hippie.

And I bought her these crystal earrings that I had gotten from John of God in Abidania, a long time ago. I had bought boxes of them and gave him at his gifts. it's like we do not give gifts for birthdays you know because there's a lot of kids in the family and I go and he got so mad at me well she every time I saw his sister she was wearing those earrings it was the happiest day of her life for him and I thought like oh my god got a twisted him motherfucker you are that like you can't even like be nice there it's really weird he was just controlling yeah and it was like in that family they don't give and then he's bitching that

he's not getting love I'm like maybe if he gave a little more you get love but anyway this story goes where I'm realizing that the way we were raised, if you were traditionally Jewish, Italian, whatever, you're going to be in these families where they touch and they scream and they love and they feed you because love food is love. And then you go to another family and like, you know, alcohol is love. Which happens in those Catholic families, you know. They drink a lot. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you better eat before you go to that wedding. We didn't even get to the weddings. We've only had one wedding.

What about your wedding? That was the only wedding, but I was sober. Did he have a priest? No, it was a friend from USM that married us. Oh, so you had like a spiritual, oh, that must have been pretty and nice. It was beautiful. Yeah.

But, yeah, I think that, I think culturally, every culture is different. And I know for us, there is a part that's hard because I think when you naturally want to give? Yeah. Like, I know for Rachel example, she's a natural born. You can tell she's a giver. She wants to give. It's not like she thinks she has to. Yeah. She wants

to. And you're a Virgo, right? We were talking about her. Yeah. Yeah, because my business partner's a Virgo. My ex is a Virgo. One of my boyfriends. The one you saw in the show was a Virgo. The one I almost married. Yeah. Yeah. I always got Virgo. It's my sister's a Virgo. It must be a Gemini, I don't know. Probably. Yeah.

But what do you do when it's your natural instinct is you have to stop. So you have to practice it. This last year was a no year for me, not a yes year. Where I go, no, I can't do that. No, I'm sorry. I had a business offer two days ago, which was probably one of the worst business offers

and I was being bullied into it and I said no. And I realized the more I say no, the more I felt better. Some people are yes years where they, or you could do yes for yourself, but not yes for everybody else. Like whatever anybody asked me to do, I go, yes. It's kind of like an adventure year,

but this last year was like probably like at the end of the last year to the beginning of this year, it was all no, no, no, no, no. And I'm learning, no, sorry, can't help you. I mean, I've never said that before. I always help everybody. I'm like, nope, can't help you. Not my problem, not my lane. Best of luck.

Founders are hard. Do the same thing with guys you date. I'm sorry. I just didn't feel a connection. Best luck in your search. Just so straightforward. And they love it. They'll call you back in the way.

Oh, yeah. They love it. Go out with me. Of course. Of course. They go, no one has ever been that, because most people ghost. Most people ghost. And ghosting is probably the worst thing.

I think ghosting is probably the worst thing that ever happened to the dating scene since, you know, the apps. Because ghosting is so painful. Especially like if you've been dating someone a while and they ghost, it's got to be the most painful. Because you never know why you. And you're spinning and spinning. And the Y usually sets you free. Even if it's hard to take, the Y will set you free. She's better in bed.

She's prettier. Shit. You know? I enjoy her. She's easier to be with. Like, if you found out why, it'd be like, okay, we're not a match. Might be painful. But it's better than going, I don't understand what happened.

I don't understand what happened. Right. Mm-hmm. Have you been ghosted? Probably not. ghosted you probably haven't a lot of relationships have many relationships since you broke up when she broke up with baby daddy have you had like a lot of relationship two like you would call relationships good ones like a year at least a year

age yeah okay that's a good relationship what about what if you you you got married when how old were you in your 30s yeah like eight years ago okay but you remember it was like to date before that oh god she dated for a very long time yeah I did it so you got me married You're both the same age? She's two years older. So you got married later in life. You guys look so young. I'm blown away.

Whatever you're doing, give it. So you got married later in life. So you had more dating out there. More sex in the city time. I had a good run. She had like a solid decade of just dating. Dating. You know.

Okay, so how did you meet your guys eight years ago before your husband? How did I meet guys? Yeah, like did you go to part? parties, did you? Like, talk about how people meet, because I'm curious, I was asked this question. I think it was different then because we went out. Exactly. So you went out.

We went to restaurants, to bars, to clubs. Like my thing was Manhattan Beach. I could go to Mountain Beach throw up rock and there'd be a single guy and there were clubs and restaurants. Everyone now is completely different. Yeah, so it was different. It would be out friends of friends, gatherings. Isn't it amazing how people is to fix each other up then and like now they don't do it anymore?

It's like weird. What about you? How'd you meet the last two? one how don't know like out at an event or something right you like where you were CW out in the real world

I want to know this because I once went to a CW on the carpet event I'm like I'm not standing here I'm too fat and they were like this big they were like the size of that pulse I mean Joe Mangela was there was the only reason I was like I was at this thing for Bravo and we kind of merged CW and Bravo together

and I laugh and I thought about it because they were like Thimbles. Seriously. And I was just like, oh my God, they could walk on the carpet and get anyone. When you walk, did you ever get approached by celebrities other than your ex in Hollywood? Like, did I ever get an approach? Like approach to ask me out? I was always curious about this. I mean, whenever I was going out for the most part, I was in relationships. Oh, so you didn't have it. No. So it didn't be like the agent goes, hey, so and so-and-so just called and you want to go to get, go out with some-toe? I mean, that may have happened a couple times. Yeah. But I would say, like, from when I first on my first show.

So, like, I was just in a relationship and then a relationship, you know? Right. So when I was doing all those things, I was not available. Are you, were you shocked at the success of Nobody Wants? I mean. Isn't it so good? I'm shocked in this, not shocked because, like, they're great. Right, they're both great actors.

I'm actually, like, close with Kristen. Obviously, I know Adam. Right. Well, Adam's amazing. Back in the day, anyway. And he's amazing. And they're both so talented. So I wasn't, like, surprised that it worked so.

I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it yet? No, I haven't seen it yet. Oh my God, you have to go see it. I don't watch anything. I know. I don't watch any shows unless I'm on a plane, but I'm going to go on a plane scene. Okay, so download it.

Yeah. I don't know if it will be on the plane, but download it. Yeah. Because it's kind of new. But they shot the second season pretty quick. Yeah. I was like, how fast was that? Yeah, it was so fast.

I never seen anybody shoot that quick. Me either. I was like, did they only give you four episodes? Yeah. But I thought it was interesting that that type of show where adults dating. And it wasn't crazy drama I love the premise is great When the mother ate the prosciutto

I was like oh my god I love the show That was my favorite part But I was like we want more of that Like your show's like heart of Dixie I still love that show Aw I love that show I mean I always love the OC I was a big OC person

Because Chrismakca come on I mean Chris Micah for sure Can we have Chrismica? I'm a Chrismica Myself in her life Right exactly And I love the father Because he was in Peter Gallagher

Peter Gallagher, I couldn't remember. He was in the best movie when we were growing up in my generation. It was called Summer Lover. Oh, Summer Lover's with Daryl Hanna. Oh, yeah. That's a steamy movie, right? I want to go to Greece. I've never been to Greece, and I wanted to go because of Santorini in that movie.

I want to go to Greece. You have to watch that movie. It's the best. They have like a triangle love thing. Yeah, I thought it was like a steamy. And he was sexy then. Really hot. Peter. Peter's the best.

He's a good looking. He's a good looking, yeah. But, I mean, I want to shows like that now because it's like you love those Ginny and George and things like that. Everybody loves Hart of Dixie so much. It's like we need

I watch reruns of it. Yeah, it's cozy. It makes you feel like everything is safe in the world. Yeah. I love when the apple pie and they talk about their problems you know.

I really love that. It was fun. It was a fun show. For sure. For sure. Did you shoot in Atlanta? Warner Brothers. No.

Warner Brothers. Here? Why did it look like it was Atlanta? Oh my God. That's crazy. I know. I know. It was a really good setup we had.

And you could go home. Yeah. Was the OC you shot there too? O's he was Manhattan Beach. Oh my God, it's like you could still go home. That's fantastic. I know. Nothing's shot here anywhere.

Everything's being shot in New Jersey now. They're building studios. Yeah, huge studio. It's a Netflix building. I grew up. I think we could like go on for three more hours. Yes, correct. You'll just have to come back.

Oh my God, I had the best time with you guys. I didn't know. It's like just a conversation. Yeah, no. We just like to talk. Yeah. We did good? You did.

Are you fantastic? Okay. Just asking? You, you. You delivered on every aspect. Every level. This is exactly why we wanted you here. Thank you so much.

Yeah. I mean, it's not, you know, like, it's hard out there, girls. I'm not going to lie. But all it takes is one and you're done. Mm-hmm. Just remember that. That's right. One and done.

One and done. One and done. Right and done, Rachel. You're next. Oh, boy. What's up? Olivia. I have a question.

I knew it. I could see it. It's given question. It's giving question. Mark. We had someone compliment us the other day. You were here, Kevin. Okay.

Who? Us? Yeah, I'm not going to say who. It was off mic after. It was off mic. I still don't even know what you're talking about. I thought it was going to happen today, too. I mean, it did kind of happen.

Sorry, I'm being too vague. It's probably annoying the listeners. Keep going. No. I still have no clue what you guys are talking about. Well, she complimented us for having our original feast. Oh, gee. How do you take that?

Having our original faces. Yeah. I mean, in my mind, it's just like not original. It's just what you have for your life. Right. But in that, it also means you're old. Oh. Do you know what I'm saying?

Right. It's like that's really brave of you to still have your face. Right. Like you're so old. I don't think she didn't mean it like that. She was the sweetest, most precious, everything. She was just happy we hadn't had work done. Yes. Totally.

But to your point, that was the first time I've ever seen that compliment given. Really? I think so. I don't know. I don't even think of it that way. But now that you say it, it's basically like, you're so old and you still have your face. Yes. That's what it is.

Oh. But it. I did enjoy watching the conf-I don't know. It wasn't given to me. I loved it. Yeah, me too. It wasn't, it's not that, but it is just weird once you get over to the other age of life. And you're like, wait, I'm the guy with the original face now.

Like, it's just. See, and it didn't even occur to me. That's good. No, but now it's all I can think about. Like, fuck, we're old. You didn't? No, didn't even. I was like, oh, yeah.

Like, I didn't even. Yeah, my face. Like not for a second. Did I actually realize what it means? Oh. How sad. Yeah. It was interesting.

Getting old is hard. Someone told me yesterday that you go, there's like two big aging bursts and it's at 44 and 60. Is that correct? Interesting. I believe so because that's when the hormones change. Is that right? Yeah. I was told this yesterday.

And I'm turning 44 this summer. Yeah, that's a big. we're going through some big hormone shifts. You know what Jeff brought up that I think was interesting? He's like, you know, it's really weird to watch, he's like, watch you transition into a new stage of hormones because he can feel it. And he's like, and watch your mom transition into a new age of being elderly in a sense. And he's like, nobody really talks about the multi-generational transitions that happen at the the same time. So if we go three generations, it'll be when Breyer hits puberty, you're going to be

hitting menopause and your mom's going to be hitting like, I was going to say a really dark joke. But you know, it's like they don't really talk about that. And then you're all supposed to live together and commune together while you're all going through crazy ass transitions. That is crazy. It's weird, right? The fuck. The fuck. One of my neighbors has three generations living in the same house, and I think about that a lot of the nine-year-old hanging out with the grandpa and the mom's part of it and stuff too. And just those transitions specifically are, I don't know, they're very interesting. And going, like you said, going through them together too is very unique. Yeah.

And kind of nice. It's kind of weird, right? Puberty and like menopause. So you're going to be the edgiest you've ever been when you hit menopause. And she's going to be the edgiest. Wonderful. That's something to really look forward. Isn't that wild?

That is unfair. It's kind of unfair. Yeah. I dropped my mom off at home the other day. It was yesterday. Yesterday. And I picked up the kids and Elliot goes, why is CC? They call her CC, you know that.

Thanks. Because of the candy. Yeah. No, they were like, why is CC not here? And I said, because she went home, and he goes, oh, man, I'm so disappointed. I said, oh, that's so sweet. You wanted her here? He goes, no.

I wanted to do the grandma brain rot challenge. And I'm like, what? What is that? And he's like, you put butter in your mouth. Oh, it's a really, I thought you meant he was just going to question her to see. Yeah. I was left up there. That's a better.

I just ask you so many questions and see what's left. See what's left. 100% I thought that's what that was. I'm crying. That is such a good challenge. We should start that way. We can do it to ourselves. We're doing the Rachel brain rock challenge.

I'm going to put butter in my mouth. Wait, so what is it? You put butter in your mouth? She's lost it. I would not have guessed putting butter in the mouth. Did you think the same thing I did? Yeah, I thought it was going to be some sort of like... So you put butter in your mouth and you ask them to repeat as many brain-wrought phrases as possible without laughing.

What the fuck is a brain-wrought phrase? So any of this like new generation stuff, like their language, all of that. So you would have her... With butter in your mom's mouth? No, the butter's in Elliott's mouth. Oh. And his job is not to laugh. I guess it greases the mouth

So it makes it really if you have butter all in your mouth It's really hard not to Yeah it's kind of like To smile or laugh We used to put marshmallows in our mouth And you do a similar thing where you try to not make the other person laugh Pudgy Bunny Yes

My parents were not saying I knew it was something bunny She just had that like Pudgy Bunny Yeah of course On the ready Yeah. I was like waiting my whole life.

That's what it was like. She said, yes. Finally. Finally, someone organically brought up Pudgy Bunny. She's been on my vision board. Oh, my God. Oh. Okay.

So now I do want him to do the grandma brain rot challenge. To your mom. Yes. I want him to do it to you. Rachel and Elliot So Rachel and I have this thing where You've seen it But like once we start laughing

And then we'll get in this laughing thing And we can't stop and we don't even know What we're laughing about it anymore She had it the other day with Elliot And it was so... A nine-year-old son Cute I was like Oh my God, they're doing this thing

He did it! We really did it It's when you catch the laugh Yeah, yeah Yeah And you don't really know what you're laughing at Neither one of us had a single clue what we were laughing at.

But we were in it and committed. It was my favorite. I like that. That's what's fun. It is. That is what's fun, Kevin. Can we do a challenge one time in a post? Yeah.

Whatever. Yeah. Like a brain rot challenge. Yeah. I don't want butter in my mouth. I would do marshmallows, though. Yeah, we'll think of something. Oh, like a pudgy bunny.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. We're going to make Olivia's dreams come true. But those were some of my favorite memories is like with the group of friends and they're trying to tell a story and they can't finish it because they're laughing so hard. Yes. And the reality is like that becomes funnier than the story itself.

Totally. Yeah. But just watching your friend break. Lose it. Yeah. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's really fun to catch the laugh too.

Like if you witness it and you're like, I don't know what they're laughing at, but I'm in on it now. It's the weirdest. It is. If someone just sits there and watches and doesn't. Oh, break at all. We've been talking about the, I feel like the last few is. Psychopaths. Yeah, looking for someone.

And it's not, who gets the funny in a way where it's like, you don't have to be hilarious. But if we're all laughing and you're like, what is going on? It's like, that's not, that's no fun. That's not what's fun. Yeah. That's not what's fun. Not pudgy bunny. Very not pudgy bunny.

My favorite was when Gareth was leaving and you were like just talking. And he thought you put your hand out to shake his mouth. And I stabbed him. And I started the time. We're just talking, like, your mannerism. And he went, what? Like to shake your hand. He stabbed him.

My nails stabbed him in the hand. Because I was like, oh. Yeah. And he was like, came in. He's funny. He's amazing. He will be next week's episode if you're, when you're listening to this. But my grandma did a similar thing to me a couple years ago where it was like,

peak COVID and you know she's in her 90s so we wanted to be careful and so instead of giving us a hug she did a fist pound but I don't think she's ever done a fist pound in her life so she she had her fist very high like very high above her head I didn't know what's happening so I thought she's kind of doing a like bring it in thing yeah and I was like oh okay he like goodbye and I just like embraced her and my mom's like no no no that was a fist pound I didn't, I was too embarrassed on her behalf to be like, Grandma, you could just like do it like at chess level. It's not like a slam dunk, but I just keep thinking about her fist bump, like above her head.

Did she embrace the hug? Kind of awkwardly. She was like, yeah, well, I guess we'll hug. I was like, we always, but I should have realized like, yeah, it's 2020. Oh my God. It was insane. That's amazing. Yeah.

What happens as we get old? Yeah. You just don't get things. You just don't get it. No. Like, even spatial awareness. Oh. I watch that with people.

And I'm like, that's interesting. Like, they can't tell there's people around them or that they should move off of the sidewalk. Like, yeah. It's fascinating. She lived at a retirement home for the last six months of her life. And she would just openly talk shit about, there he is, that son of a gun. And my mom would be like, he can hear you. She's like, no, no, no, he can't.

But the same thing where it was like a spatial awareness. thing probably or just like just or don't give a fuck i think it's a combo maybe it is i know sal's there yeah yeah and i want them to fucking hear me you and an old folks home i already belong there wait a minute that is the best physical yeah yeah you're gonna be like i don't want mushrooms hate mushrooms we'll go to my old stomping ground the one i worked at oh where was that in westwood it was very expensive oh really nice one we would like we would like go to the movies and then when we'd come back, we would like do a little tour of the neighborhood and we'd drive around these homes at, you know, like $20 million homes. And they'd go, I lived there

from 1970 to 1998. I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, it was really cool. Wow. Did you get those ice cream sandwiches? Yeah. Mm-hmm. What? Westwood. You can't go to Westwood and not get the ice cream sandwiches. I don't know what you're talking about. D.D. Reese. Is that what it's called? I forget. I think so. Yeah. They're doing everywhere. They make them. They freshly bake the cookies and they're warm. She really.

Yeah, she homes. Number one, hungry and loves. But you get to pick your ice cream and your cookies and they make you from me. They do that somewhere else too. So good. That sounds good. We went to a French restaurant once and one of the residents there was like, can we have a baguette with the like as we're waiting?

And the waiter was like, we don't have baguettes the way she roasted him. So we're all at a French restaurant. No baguettes. And he was like, I'm sorry. And she was like, looked at me like, you got to pick other spots. That is hilarious. I love the free, just free no filter of that crowd. It's my favorite.

My mom got snippety the other day. And just talking. Yeah. What? Nope. Do you have a story about her snip? No, sitting and talking. Just sitting and talking with that crowd is my.

absolute favorite thing. Yeah. Go ahead. We should drop you off. I would be thrilled. I thrive in that community. Yeah. No, my mom snipped at me because we were in the living room and she had on SVU.

Mm-hmm. Okay. If you've ever watched SVU, it's oftentimes like... Not kid-friendly. The most horrific crimes. Correct. Yeah. So Elliot comes in and he wants to do his homework at the table in there.

Brain Rock Challenge. Yeah. No, and I was like, I was like, Mom, can you turn off? the SVU. And it was like a kid that was talking about like something harmful to them, you know. And she looks at me and she goes, oh, God, like it's any worse than their cartoons. And I went, what? I was like, the things I've heard on their cartoon.

Oh, my God. I was like, Mom, you're not hearing about child. Murder. Double homicides. Yeah. Yeah. And then later she apologizes. She goes, I don't know what that was about. I guess I really wanted to watch us feed. She owned it. That's awesome. I appreciate when people own it.

Me too. Most people don't. Most people don't. Well, we do. I knew it. We're going to own that this is the end of the episode. They were owning it. Owned it. Owned it. Bye. See ya.

Bye. That was a hit gum podcast.