Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Rachael Leigh Cook on Child Acting, Reality Shows, and the Time She Played a Horse Jockey

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Rachael Leigh Cook [She’s All That, Josie and the Pussycats, The Baby-Sitters Club] talks with Olivia and Rachel about whether Rach(a)el is a solid name, raising kids, and whether you should let your kids act. They also discuss the time Rachael played a horse jockey, the pros of divorce, and the murder-town Olivia is staying in. Broad Ideas is supported by Blissy. Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code RACHEL to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/RACHEL. Broad Ideas is supported by Manscaped. Get 20% off and free shipping, with the code IDEAS at Manscaped.com. Broad Ideas is supported by Hatch. Go to hatch.co/ideas to get up to 15% off and free shipping. Broad Ideas is supported by Caldera + Lab. Get 20% off at calderalab.com by using code IDEAS.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Hello, my people. Hi. Oh, hello. Oh, hello. My early 2000's heart is very full today. I am super excited for our guests today. Rob, how do you feel? I know you are the most excited

because Rob always had a crush on her. Yeah, I'm so excited. I did. did though actually you did huh yeah why would i not have she was in she's all that you know what i want rewatch that should we rewatch that let's do a movie night guys yeah and uh josing the pussy cat i mean she has the longest list of movies and her latest one that came out on netflix was a tourist's guide to love which by the way getting to travel like that and she spent so much time in vietnam that just sounds so cool yeah she's all that you guys uh rachel lee cook

Joining us. Love her. Let's go. Sometimes when the inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside. To join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things.

We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys. Because people die. I know. I love it. Seriously. I'm a Virgo. End of August,

Virgo. Beautiful. Yes. Yes. But yeah, I wish I knew more about astrology and all of that. I don't know much, but are you really into it?

I'm sure all those, I'm sure no. I'm sure all those astrology people are willing to tell us all about it. If you, if you crack that door, someone will fly through it. Oh, man. That's all.

I know. I think. Rachel, not you. I'm going to call you. You're going to call me Ray. Yeah. What's you? Do you have a nickname?

What are your friends call you for short? People call me Rach. What are you? I'm a Ray. You're a Ray? I always wanted to be a Ray. It just never really happened for me. Ray is adorable.

Oh, thanks. My brother and my sister-in-law are having a baby and the middle name is Ray after me. And I was like, well, good thing that was my nickname because it's so cute with her little name. It is so very cute. Oh, my God. What a huge honor. I know.

Why didn't my brother name? I'm just going to bring that up with him later. You're like middle name, Rach. I see how it is. Yeah. Wouldn't it have killed you. How do you feel, how have you felt in your life being a Rachel? How did you feel about your name?

I think it's hilarious that people call us Rebecca all the time. Have you noticed? I mean, maybe not you because you're America's Rachel Bilsen. You're the world's Rachel Belson. Okay, Rachel Duk. Whatever, Rachel Belson. No, people call me Rebecca. I swear, like, constantly. I ask people name Rebecca if they get called racial all the time. And they're like, yes, I do. How did you know? There has been a couple of Rebecca's in my day, for sure, for sure. But yeah, why is that? It's not even remotely close.

I think it's the same level of commonality. I think it has some of the same vibe. I think, I don't know. I have no idea. But how do I feel about it? Yeah. I feel like I don't love it, but I feel like it fits me. So I guess I would be saying fits us. What do you think? Yeah. No, I. feel the same way. Like it is, it's like that level of, you know, not popularity, but as common as it is, which it's not really, but it's also not obscure. I never loved it, but also, I don't know what else. I could never think of like another name for myself, you know? Right. Now, you don't have to protect our feelings, by the way, so you can say how you really feel it. If you're like, it's a shit name, like, I'm not going to be offended. No, I don't think it's a shit name. I think there's definitely

better options, but what would you rename yourself if you could? Oh, my God. Do you have any answer to that? Well, what's your daughter's name? You have a daughter. Charlotte. So would that, would it be Charlotte? Yeah, I think that that's wonderful. I don't feel like I've earned it. I feel like she's earned that. I feel like there's a loveliness to it that, I don't know. I feel like Rachel has a little bit of grit to it. I feel like Rachel doesn't suffer as many fools as Charlotte probably puts up with. You know what I mean? I think that's probably accurate. I feel like Rachel's, you know, I feel like the name you can get down a little bit, get a little gritty. But Rachel, I, I've been a fan of years for so long. It's so crazy to me because you have been doing this for so long.

And like iconic, iconic high school moments. Like for me, she's all that. I mean, I don't know a girl, at least in my friend group that all haven't wanted to do the move and she's all that where you come down the stairs and you've transformed and like, who doesn't want that fantasy in there? I mean, like, I want to walk down my hall transformed every day. I want that to happen for you and for all of us. And I wish that all of our families could appreciate it a little bit more when we walk in in the morning in mismatched ath leisure wear. Like, would it kill them to react that way a little bit? Come on. But no, but thank you, Rachel. And like, seriously, we've, you know, come up in the game for so many of the same years. And I have always loved and respected your work.

and you have one of the best reputations going. Olivia, I'm not going to tell you what people say about you, but I've heard. I'm just kidding. I'm totally kidding. He's a wonderful. No, but seriously. I just feel like you carry yourself with such grace. And obviously we've met and we will get into John Casson appreciation hour.

The Muppet himself. But seriously, I'm thrilled to be here. I heard about your podcast because I think you had on a friend of mine. I can't even remember who. But I was like, hell yeah, she's doing that subscribe. So I am thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for having me on you guys. That is so sweet.

No, we are seriously so happy for you to be here. And that is so awesome. Thank you for supporting the podcast and being with us today. And we really, you know, I just think you're a perfect example of someone who also carries himself just so well, you know, and being in the spotlight for as long as you have. You're very kind. I've certainly had my moments. But all of it, you know, and having kids.

and everything and all that comes with it. So we can't wait to like get into all of it. Let's do it. Right now. But the most iconic, I've got to say, that affected me the most was the PSA, that this is your brain on drugs. Your PSA? Oh, yes. Oh my God. Okay, well, you seem very heroin-free, so you're welcome. Do you remember it, Ray? This is your brain on drugs? I did not know that you were in that. Maybe you're referring to the original, the one that they made us watch in. school from like the 80s, which is the pan with the eggs. I did a remake one where I'm like bashing up a kitchen telling people not to do specifically heroin. Yeah. But otherwise, yeah, the subsequent

effects of like the war on drugs are pretty mixed bags. So I ended up actually remaking that PSA with a company called Greenpoint Media out of New York in early 2017. We released it as a 20 year to the day follow-up of the release of the original one that I had done with a sort of updated messaging about, you know, the effects of systemic racism on mass incarceration and other things that really should have, you know, we really would have done well to know 20 years ago, but what are you going to do? Oh, wow. It's nice when you can sort of be there and luckily we live in such a digital age where you can raise your hand and go, here's what I meant to say. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's nice for as for as easy as it is to put your foot in your mouth, you can also

quickly correct it. Well, most of the time, I find that I have times where I can't. But, I totally understand. Okay, so you have two kids. How old are they? Okay. Don't you hate when, not hate, we love when our kids have a birthday, but then you end up having to adjust to saying their new age right away. So I haven't yet accepted that my baby is eight and my oldest is like nine and a half. I can't believe it. Close together. Yeah. 18 months apart. Holy shit. Yeah, that was a surprise. How old are your kiddos now? Mine, I have one daughter who's eight. Amazing. That's right. We talked about our kids being around the same age. Olivia, are you a mama? Yeah, I have a seven and a four-year-old. Incredible. My God, you guys, we're in it.

We're in it. In it. Big time. So you have, and it's a boy and a girl, right? Yes, Charlotte and Theodore. And wait, what's your eight-year-old's name again? Mine is Breyer. Briar. Yeah. I know. Maybe I'd be a briar, you know? I could completely see that, actually. Really? Yeah. I guess, you know, you do like the names you choose for your children. So I feel like, and, you know, Lou, I feel like you could be an Elliot as a girl. I would love to be an Elliot. Right? Yeah. That's such a good name. That's my niece's name. Is it? Yes. Elliot. I love it. And Marla Sokoloff, if you guys know her, her daughter's Elliot. That's right. We love Marla. Aw. It's such a small world. such a small world. It's a very small town. I love it. So you've been raising these beautiful children, which I can't believe our kids'

ages when we're saying it out loud. We're like, oh, wow, they're like real people. It makes no sense. No, it makes zero sense. But you've also been working, you know, the whole time and like being a mom and everything. So how has that been for you juggling that? I mean, I'm talking to people who understand, so I don't feel like I'm starting from scratch here. I was lucky enough to get pregnant at a time while I was working on a show, so I didn't sort of feel like I had to lose a ton of time. It was exhausting, working pregnant. But then, you know, the show went on hiatus, and I had a full six months with Charlotte. Wow.

She was actually born in Georgia. I had to have both my kids induced due to my then-husband's shooting schedule, which is completely insane to me. Wait, wait, hold on. Hold on. Because of your husband's shooting schedule? Yeah. How early were you induced or what was the timing on that? It wasn't like early, early, but they were both on time. And so they were like, you know, if you could have these kids, you know, on a Friday or Saturday, you will be able to have him with you. But they were going to make him go back to work like the next day. So in order for him to be able to be there, I was induced twice, which is both times. Because the second time you had to fly back to L.A. to like be there and then go back to work. in Atlanta. Yeah, it's pretty insane. Oh, my God. People's, you know, need to watch fictional vampires

has dictated my children's birthday. But that's okay. Work is work. Crazier things have happened. Men should get paternity leave. They really, really should. Yeah, I don't know how long I would have been given. I know, because I was going to say, it's not like they give maternity leave even, really.

I want to say, if anything, maybe it's six weeks. I don't know that if you're actually actively on a show, if you can even do that. I don't know the answer to that. You've got to get. I bet they would certainly give you a couple weeks. Jamie King, who was on a show with me, Heart of Dixie, had a baby while we were filming.

And I believe, and I could be wrong, but she said that she was the first one to get paid leave. Like she still got paid for her six-week maternity leave, and that wasn't a law in place. And she was the first one that did that. Well, if she had all episodes guaranteed for the season, then, yeah, they couldn't have carved that out. That would have been kind of crazy.

Right. But I don't know. I just know that. There's obviously, like, sections within this business that need some attention. I completely agree. And there should absolutely be paternity leave. And, yeah, as soon as all of us have 36 hours in a day, we will make signs and protest about it. Yeah, exactly.

But that's so crazy. were induced with both kids and the timing that worked out that way. Yeah. Anybody else can induce? That sure hurts. Did you get, I know, the bitosin, right? You did, right, Lou? It's gnarly. Yeah. I tried doing it. I got induced and tried to do no epidural. It's so stupid. Nobody should ever do that. Oh, my God. Labor was like 41 hours and induced with no epidural. I didn't realize that. That is fucked up because I remember I wasn't induced, but getting that Adepadrilla, I was like, oh, this is God's gift to the fucking universe. Like, it was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

It was 100% is. I'm so, so happy for you that that happened. Oh my God. So was she born here? She was, yeah. Briar was born here in L.A. I was actually Boin. I was born at Cedars.

And so was she. So it was kind of sweet that we came into this world in the same hospital. That's wonderful. Oh, my goodness. I am so curious. Like, do you, because I know your Instagram for your style. all this, that, and the other, you've kept her offline, obviously. I have. How are you with, do you post your kids?

I have only done so twice. And it's just because it was really meaningful moments for me. And I sort of have come to the realization that I just, they belong to the world now a little bit. And I feel like if there were nefarious people that they would know what they looked like by now. If I thought that I had kids who would think things like, oh, now I'm famous, you know, I'm on the internet or something like that. I would not have done it. But luckily, I don't have those kids. So it seemed like an okay thing to do, but I certainly do not make a habit of it. And I don't. I'm not eager for them to meet all of the voices and opinions of the general public that are out there. I don't want them on social. I know. All that stuff. I know. I know. I, you know, and I fully

support like yeah anyone of course share and there is a part of like being able to control what is put out there if you are posting your children or your personal life like I totally support that it's just more like you know I don't know there's only certain things you can keep kind of private and and I don't know if I have a good answer it's just we've never done it and and I think it's working so far I guess but it seems to be working great for you yeah I just feel like I There are definitely like moments or like, oh, this was so cool. And then you want to share, especially for like the friends or family that are far away and they're not here. Like I totally get that aspect.

You know, it's just such a weird thing and such a weird relationship with social media and what is out there. And we talk about this a lot and how I think it's fucked up that our kids are going to be in high school when this exists. Because, I mean, could you imagine going through high school with this kind of information like accessible to you? Yeah. I'm terrified of raising a teenager. I think it is as advertised, and I'm really, really scared about it. Like, just the age that Breyer and Charlotte are, at least anyway.

And, like, they're just in such a beautiful kind of, like, still kid age. And I'm really nervous for that to be over. I'm most nervous about just missing it. I feel like I'm missing stuff. And people told me, you know, your kids grow up, whether you pay attention or not. But it really feels like there's just some other kind of dimension. and, you know, sort of like black hole of time and space that I fall into where work has to happen.

And then I blink and they're taller. And it's just, it's terrifying. It feels bad, you guys. I know. Well, I mean, your latest movie, you were in Vietnam, right, for the whole shoot? Yes. How long was the shoot? The shoot was two months.

But the prep was really long. You know, with Netflix, at least with my experience, it's a year from sort of pitch to production. And then the shoot itself was two months. So as much as I, you know, love working for Netflix, yeah, it was a long, yeah, no, there's no buts about that. There's no butts about that. Everybody loves it. We all love our Netflix. But yeah, but it was a long process.

And it was difficult, but damn it's worth it. So were you away from the kid up? I brought them out. They came out because it was over spring break last year, which was wonderful. So they get to come out to Hoyan and Danang, which are sort of more in the center. of the country and Dananza Beach City. And so they loved that. They got to act in a scene.

They acted in the background of one scene, the deep BG, and it was insanely hot there. And they had to do like eight takes. And I never heard the end of how hard it was. So I was like, maybe I've successfully deterred them from wanting a career and show business. Yeah. Do you guys think your kids are actors or want to be in entertainment? Yeah. I say this often.

And like Breyer's always, she's so animated and like overly, you know, expressive and loves to be in front of the classroom and like acting out of the things. And I'm just like, oh my God, what am I going to do? That's so funny. Because you're not even like that. So she's like next level. Next level. I don't know if it was like taking two actors, even though her dad and I are pretty

similar in the like not wanting to be center of attention. So maybe she just like took everything that like wasn't and just it's exploded. What's that expression? Square parents around babies? Yeah, right? How do you feel about that, though? Because my son recently, he did like a small little part, a friend asked, like, would he be open to doing this? And I asked him, and he said, yeah, if you'll make a deal with me.

And he goes, I'm the star of the next one. And I was like, what the heck? By the way, strong entry point for negotiation. I respect his style. Me too. I was like, you're not a dummy. But then he keeps asking. He's like, do I get to do another movie?

Do I? And I was like, oh, wow. He's got the itch. Maybe. Here's what I want to know from you having success so early. Like, people would always say, like, don't let your kids get into entertainment business and it's going to fuck them up. And I keep sitting across from these wonderfully grounded human beings being like, didn't

seem to screw them up. We hide it well. We hide it well. It's scary to send them to school nowadays. So I'm like, is acting as bad as it, you know? What are your thoughts on that? I think that there's funny enough a big difference between starting super young and starting when I did, which was like 14, 15.

And I wasn't really sort of, you know, cooking with gas, have any traction for another, you know, year or two after that. think that that's an okay age to begin. If you're, you know, from coming from a good sort of balanced enough family situation that can accommodate and support that and really be present. So I think that that's why it worked out well for me. But I think that the reason I would worry about it for my kids is just if they don't have the constitution for all of the nose. Oh, all the nose. Yeah. Oh, my God. The nose are brutal because everybody wants to get the job in one way or another, even if it's just for your ego. And what I've sort of pinpointed about the way I think it's the worst for young people to choose acting as a profession is there is so much no that it makes you look for yes in the

wrong places. It makes you look for yes and your partners makes you sometimes choose friendships that are really toxic. You look for validation wherever you can kind of get it. I don't mean that in the gross like, yay, love me kind of way. But it's just, it's subconscious, even if you don't know that you're doing it. You just want someone to be like, yeah, you're good enough because you're not always going to get that job. And so you have to sort of reprogram and reset and realize your own worth and sort of start fresh as a true adult. And I don't know, I certainly don't think that my kids are in a place to be able to figure something like that out right now. Right. Broad Ideas is supported by Blissie. Who knew that a better pillowcase is all you need for better sleep. Let's talk about practicing

self-care while you sleep. Set yourself up with better sleep with Blissy's award-winning 100% mulberry silk pillowcases. Seriously, silk is what's best for your hair and skin. It reduces frizz, tangles, and prevents breakage. That's because it keeps the moisture in your hair and keeps your skin care products and natural moisture on your skin while cotton literally absorbs it off of your face. Can you say goodbye to wrinkles, dry, flaky, and red skin in the morning and wake up with healthier and shinier hair that won't take you an hour to fix? Blissies are also temperature regulating because silk has naturally insulating properties. So if you overheat while you sleep, this is so for you.

There are a lot of dupes out there that claims satin can be an alternative to silk, but that is not the case. Satin is made from synthetic fibers like polyester, while silk is a luxurious, all-natural fiber. It's also the perfect gift to give when you're looking for a gift for any occasion. Who doesn't love a gift they didn't know they even needed? Plus, it comes in gift-ready packaging they'll be sure to love. My favorite thing about these blissy pillowcases is Breyer's hair is very prone to not.

There was a time where I spent two hours combing one out of her hair. But now I make her sleep on the blissy pillowcases and no more dreaded tears of detangling. You know what I mean? And dreaded hair. And dreaded hair. Wink, wink. Blissy silk pillowcases are the,

the best ones on the market. They have a ton of different prints in colors and they make great gifts because there's an option for literally anyone. Men love them too, right Rob? Love them. They have over 1.5 million raving fans and you could be next. Try now risk free for 60 nights at blissy.com slash Rachel and get an additional 30% off. That's B-L-I-S-S-Y.com slash Rachel. Rod Ideas is supported by Manscaped. Ladies, listen up. Father's Day is creeping up on us faster than a creepy uncle at a family reunion. and if you haven't gotten a gift for dear old dad yet, you're in luck. Manscape has got your back.

Your dad's balls. Trust us. Your dad will be thanking you for keeping his balls in check. And hey, it's not just a gift for him. You and mom will appreciate the results too if you know what we mean. Dang. So don't wait any longer. Use the code ideas at checkout for 20% off and free shipping.

Your dad in his package will thank you for the most memorable father's gift ever. Also, Rob's birthday's coming up and we know what we're getting. Woo! Woo! Yeah. Well, listen, we've talked about this before. We like the grooming. It just shows a little consideration and care. Yep. I approve. Man scaped is the only men's brand dedicated to below the waist grooming and just launched their lawnmower 4.0. Imagine surprising your dad with a sleek, well-designed, an optimized body hair trimmer that says, your balls will thank you on the

box. Their fourth generation trimmer features a cutting-edge surfering. ceramic blade to reduce grooming accidents thanks to their advanced skin-safe technology. You might ask, how is this lawnmower 4.0 different from other trimmers? Well, this upgraded trimmer includes a multi-function on-off switch that can engage a travel lock. This is a great feature if your father or yourself do a lot of traveling. It also gives him the ability to turn the 4,000K LED spotlight on and off when needed for a more precise shave. Dads can now shave their balls in the dark. Huh? Guys? That's good? In the dark. Get 20,000, 20% off plus free shipping with the code ideas at manscape.com.

Get your dad a gift you know they will use. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscape.com and use code ideas. Don't forget that you came from your dad's balls. This year, show your original home, some love with manscaped. Right. I mean, I'm watching even like just the dynamics like on the schoolyard with like friends and whatnot, you know, and watching them if they feel rejected because their best friend is now playing with someone else.

And like, it's kind of all these same things that I'm like, okay, if we can provide tools for them early and how to like maybe change their perspective on how to look at things and it's like it's not that they don't like you or that you're not enough or, you know, it has nothing to do with you. And obviously it's a hard thing to do because it's a hard thing for, I think, for these young kids to process. But that's what I've been working on in trying to change that because I see my daughter kind of, you know, lose a little confidence or feel a little insecure.

because these things are happening and it's all the same. Like you can apply it in so many different places in life. That's so true. And I'm like, I don't know what's scare for you, girl, because you've got a guaranteed actor. No. And so do you, Olivia. The little one. My God.

Negotiating. But like, that's scary, you guys. Like, you're in for that for sure. So at least you know that you can like plan for it with that information. But will you let them do like plays or start that way? Because here's what I do love about acting for kids. it's just like it does guarantee that you will have friends. You will be part of a community of people who are accepting and loving and creative.

And there's never anything wrong with that. I love that. I haven't even thought about that. But it's true. Those are good kids. Yeah. Absolutely. For sure.

And they stay out of trouble for the most part. Like the theater kids. Yeah. They have community and they have creativity, which it's like all of those things are why people turn to drugs and partying and all of that is because they don't have that void filled, right? Exactly.

Yeah. I mean, that's got to be it. I've also attributed, like, kids who are a little healthier with that stuff if they ride horses. Oh, that's so cool. That's another theory I have. Like, they're so into the horses, like,

especially girls, that, you know, all the drama with boys or whatever. It's like this whole thing is being filled by their relationship with these horses and riding and how it's therapeutic. and like all of it. And anyway. So that being said, I need to get my daughter

and horseback riding lessons. Oh, I thought you meant that she did do that. No, my sister, though, my sister is. I'm going off of Rosemary, Olivia, who is an avid equestrian. And I've just witnessed between her and my other sister, kind of the difference.

And it's just interesting. I don't know if there's any, you know, merit to that or I have no, nothing to support it other than my own opinion. I don't even know her, but I'm a fan of, and I really like bet Bears, and I know that she's a big proponent of equine therapy. And I, you know, have sort of become a believer just through what little I've seen her post about it. It seems really incredible. Yeah, there's something to it for sure. And Whitney Cummings as well. Like she's all about the horse equine therapy. I think we all should go horseback riding. No, I'm not doing it, you guys. I don't want to do it. I'm scared of horses. Are you really?

I did a very low budget movie where I played a jockey, don't laugh. And it was really scary. And they tried to play a jockey. Is that what you? Yes, yes. Okay. I'm a tiny little person and I'm not saying that I wasn't great casting visually. I was wonderful. I was great, you guys. I'm not going to lie. But it was really scary. They put me on these retired race horses and their scenes are supposed to be talking shit to this other Jackie and like the stall next to me before the race. And the horse I'm on is having full blown PTSD and is like trying to get out. I thought I was going to die. It was horrible. I'm never getting on another horse. Oh my God. Do either of you ever watch Wild Hearts can't be broken when you were a kid. With the diving horses? Yes. Oh my God. It's so good. Oh, I love that movie.

Sorry, that just brought me back to it. I mean, yes, diving horses. Thank you. But what's the movie called where you're a jockey? I think I need to. I'll never tell you, Rachel. I'll never, literally never tell you. That's amazing.

Absolutely not. They somehow managed to cut out the central conflict and still sell the movie. What? I'm going to tell you. Oh, my God. Okay. We'll have a drink sometime and I'll tell you all about it. That sounds great.

Oh my God. Yeah, so, you know, navigating all these things, you've had to navigate divorce as well on top of it. And you were married for a really long time, right? Yeah. I really, like, we really did that. I mean, there is something, and I'll let you agree or disagree. Olivia, I don't know your personal backstory. I can't wait to hear it.

There's something less tragic to me about divorce than a relationship, like a long-term relationship breakup, because you've done, especially when you have kids, you have done. all of the things. We checked all of those boxes. We did all of the stuff. We did it. We tried. Wasn't for us. And here we are. Like, we really gave it our best go. And we have come to this and this is what's best for us. We've come to the end of this road. Whereas a relationship breakup, it just, you get this, for me anyway, I had this sense of just things being incomplete. And it just, I sort of felt the void of what could have been when I had to go through that again last year. But I don't Sorry to like dive deep on that.

Please do. No. Sucked you guys. Oh my God. It was terrible. Wait. So it was a shorter relationship you're saying that ended that you had to go through. Yeah.

Well, yeah, three years. That's not short. No, that's not. No, not short at all. But like, yeah, just not like my entire adult life. But when did you guys split again? Oh, man. We're almost at six years, I think.

Okay. So that's good because Breyer probably doesn't. She doesn't really. I remember. No, I've heard her, yeah, I talked to her friends about it before where she's like, I don't know anything different. So I think she's pretty, because she was like just before she turned three. So she was little. That's good. She was really little. Yeah, but that's such an interesting perspective what you're saying because I totally get that. You know, like your marriage and you feel like you did all the things. And then I could see how that would be harder. But you were so young. I feel like you were so young when you got married. I married at 24. Holy shit. Yeah, I will kill my kids if they try to get married at 24. You're just not all of who you're going to be. No. And not that I feel like I am now.

And not that I think people should have to wait. Right. I don't know. Literally, the only advice I give to people that young who want to get married is if the thought goes through your head, I can always just get divorced. Don't get married. You don't have to. Like, yes, that's something that's legally available to you. but you should go into it with all of the optimism in the world.

Well, did you have that? Well, yeah, I knew that I had all of the optimism, but I was also like, this does seem a little fast. We just seem a little bit young. I am pragmatic enough to know that this is statistically a pretty risky move, and it's Los Angeles who were actors. Like, when people couldn't, when people who invited couldn't come to the wedding, my favorite thing to say was, don't worry, you can come to my next one.

And I didn't think I was going to, like, maybe me, it, but I mean, not because I'm 100% not engaged to anybody right now. But yeah, it's just such a messed up town in that sense. You know what I mean? Right. But, I mean, you did do it. So how many, so it's shy. I can't do the math.

Whatever. I was told there would be no math involved. Yeah. That's not our strong suit here. Well, it's possible. But we, were you guys, okay, and Olivia, I'm not trying to box you out of this one. Are you married? I'm married.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. She's good. She's solid. She's good. that's, yeah, he's not an actor, they're golden. And Hayden and I were never married, but we were together for 11 years, you know, but we basically

were. I mean, it was all the same thing. Exactly. It's completely the same thing. I'm somebody who needed to be married because I think both of us would have bailed here and there if we hadn't been. I think that the sort of paper handcuffs that is marriage really kept us in it for a long time. Right. And is he the same age as you? Not much older. He's only four years older, my ex. And by the way, like, we get along so well now that we're not married anymore. Wow. It's incredible.

No one tells you how much divorce can improve your relationship. It's sort of a, yeah, it's a funny thing. Oh, wow. No, that's awesome. I love when I hear a positive, you know, divorce story. It's so weird. Yeah, whenever people tell you you're getting divorced, and people don't know that the proper response could actually be congratulations because it is a new

beginning of sorts, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And how was it for the kids? They, uh, they were not fans. I'm not going to pretend that that part were well at all. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. How old were they? Oh, let me see. They would have been, you know, really newly four and six, so quite young. Yeah. Yeah. They remember for sure. And, yeah, but we're still navigating it.

They've definitely been to therapy. about it and, you know, all of the things that you try to tell them about, well, now you get two Christmases and all of those, they're pretty, they're not great band-aids to the whole thing. But my therapist also says that kids of divorce are inherently more resilient people. So I'm going to just hold fast to that idea and just pray that that's a nice silver lining to all of this, you know. Weird children of divorce, Olivia and I. Look how great you guys are.

I'm resilient as fuck. See? No, but it's funny that you said that because when my parents told me they were separating, my first comment was, so I get two Christmases. So listen, you're not wrong. Okay. Yeah, I was like super into that. I was nine years old. But yeah, I think there is truth to that. I think you learn things can kind of change and not be what you think they're going to be at a young age. And so you kind of, or at least for me, now that I don't know if I've ever thought about this before, but you're saying it. I was like, oh, you're saying a lot of things.

I don't know what's happening here, but like you're saying a lot of things that are making me reflect and understand myself better. Oh, my God. Thank you. I so appreciate that, Rachel. You're so crying. But it's true of having different perspectives, and that's, you know, what I just said before that I was working on with my daughter.

And it's all in the perspective. Well, seriously, the fact especially that you were nine when your parents separated does give me a ton of hope because this is such an impressionable time. I can see it exactly in my daughter. This would have been, I don't know what your experience was, but. And like you said, two Christmases. But if you were anything like my daughter, and I suspect a tiny bit, you are, that, yeah, I can't imagine how rough that was for you. So I'm sorry.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, young, Rachel. I can tell that you are good. You're speaking to my inner child. We're doing inner child work. You're so lovely. Yeah.

You guys are so nice. Thank you. You're just so adorable. I can tell like Rachel loves you. I do. No, but I'm so. appreciate that. Well, it's like there are very few people hell in this life who you can sort of like look to your left, look to your right and just sort of look at them, nod and go, you get it. And it's like,

we don't have to like know each other well to, I know that you get it. Absolutely. So very many levels. Absolutely. We say that all the time. We're like, oh, like she's our people. Like, you know, and you can just feel it. It's definitely a vibe. And I'm so happy we were all here together. experiencing it. Totally. Now, I am going to make you tell me your favorite John Kasden's story because he's going to be so excited that he'll be pissed that we're hanging out without him. He's going to be so mad. Rachel and I first met, I think, at John's 40th birthday party at Megan Larry's house, his parents. Yeah. That's right. I don't even know if I was supposed to be there. It kind of all happened and I was like, oh my God. And John's like, yeah, you're around coming. I went,

came with Josh Schwartz. But yeah, I was so happy that I was able to be there that night. And Kazden, so I've always called him Muppet because he just reminds me of a Muppet. Oh my God, that's so wonderful. A full-blown Muppet. He would be such a good Muppet because he's kind of the theater guys. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a little bit and like the... We're Staller and Waldorf, Olivia and I. Yes, exactly. Yes, that is totally a thousand percent. A little bit like that. I don't know how to take like his newly found physique. I am extremely uncomfortable about it.

But he's doing that on purpose. He really is. He is literally posting all of these pictures where I'm just like, I just want to write in the comments, John, pull your pants up. Like, I just. He likes to show. He likes, it's very risque near the pubic region. I saw that he got buff. Yeah, no, he likes, it travels a little south, the shorts.

It's true. It's okay. We love our Kazden. And you know what? He's proud of what he's accomplished and he should be. You should be, John. You should be. We're very proud of you, too.

Very proud. My favorite Kazden's story was we were all out somewhere and there was a big group of us. And for some reason, Justin Timberlake was like in our vicinity. And everyone's like, hey, what's that? Like being cool because it's like Justin Timberlake. You know, we're all being cool. Of course. And then Kazden's there.

He puts out his hand and he goes, pleasure to shake. I love it. And that's like our favorite Kazden moment. I'm sure he received it in a very smooth way where he's like, hey man, nice to meet you. He goes, you're bringing sexy back is what JT said. No. No, I'm just kidding. Oh my God.

But he should have. Because that would have made his life. Yeah. Okay. It was pretty incredible. Big reach, big hand, one word. I love it. Not his name.

Just. No. No. He goes by pleasure. And you know what? So does that picture. So full circle. Oh, my God.

So, okay, so you shot that movie for two months in Vietnam, which by the way, like, fucking incredible. I can't imagine what that experience was like for you. So incredible. There are quite simply just, there's just almost no outside productions that shoot in Vietnam. A lot of places double Thailand for Vietnam. They make a ton of movies in Vietnam. There's a very vibrant, you know, filmmaking community and presence there. But the truth is, this is us shot there for four days.

they brought in everybody. I think Kong shot there for a week and a half after prepping for two years and bringing in everybody. Like we were the first sort of U.S. production, especially since COVID, or actually I think of any kind in something like 30 years from what I've told, to sort of come in and be like, we would like to make a movie here.

And we had to collaborate with the government and the Ministry of Culture because we needed a ton of access. So at the same time as we had a lot of support, it was also very logistically difficult to come in and sort of mixed styles with people. We just have a certain way of doing things that completely works. We had department heads from Singapore, from Canada. It was just everyone coming in and going, here's how I like to do stuff.

Another people going, here's how I like to do stuff. And just all of us needing to sort of come together to be on the same page was its own sort of rocky greatness montage in terms of that relationship. And the movie was really difficult. I know it looks like to anyone who gets a chance to check it out. And I hope they do a tourist guide to love on Netflix. that it probably looks like we got paid to go on vacation, but like it was, it was really tough. Sometimes it was like, I'm not sure that as a vegetarian I can eat this food that we have for lunch. And I'm not sure where the bathrooms are or if I have time to get there.

Like just really logistically complicated things on some days. It doesn't mean that everything didn't come together. And believe me, it was a totally magical experience. But yeah, it was hard sometimes for sure. Yeah. Now, are you someone that enjoys traveling? Oh my God, of course. Like, if someone says, no, I don't like to travel, just I am concerned about their worldview, like, in a bigger way. It's like the episode of Sex and the City where it's like Manhattan guy or whatever. Like, he's never left Manhattan. He's never left Manhattan. Oh, my God. Yes, that would completely be a problem. That's unacceptable. So, of course I love to travel. Yeah. But yeah, it's hard to like completely, in some ways it's the best to travel for work because you have a hive with you. You know what I mean? You have a great group of people who are like your instant sort of friends and support system when you're there. So there's kind of no better way to do it. You know, I was never a backpacker or anything. Did you guys do that stuff? No. Can't say that I did. Yeah, I'm not that brave. I get lost trying to take, you know, like underground transportation. Like I'm not the best traveler in the world. Do you guys bring your kids everywhere? Oh.

You bring your kids most places, right? I do. Yeah. Breyer's at like such a good age for travel that if I can bring her, if there's enough time, right? Because it's like, let's say you can go somewhere far really cool, but it has to be enough time because it's hard for a kid to. But I would be down to take her anywhere. But of course those like little moments, like we would do a tradition for a little while

before the pandemic where there was four moms that would go like on a mom's weekend. And it was so. That's such a good idea. It was fun. Really awesome. We need to do that again, Olivia, by the way. Yeah, let's do that. But then you guys need that back.

That is the life you need and deserve. You come with us. Yeah. We're going to bring you along. If somebody drops out, you guys, no pressure. But I'm totally coming. But yeah, I think traveling for kids is one of the best things you can do for them, educationally speaking.

Totally. It's immersive. You get things in a way you never could otherwise. I always feel like they make these little jumps in their development after a big trip. They just sort of, I don't know what it is, but yeah, they just seem to hit these funny milestones or become a little bit more mature for it. And I think so much of my kid's moodiness, I realize, comes from meeting just a sense of autonomy and freedom. Like whenever I'm like, okay, you can go, you know, take a little walk by yourself. You've got to check back in with me in five minutes.

I'm going to be watching where you are on your watch, but go for it. You're free. Free. Big air quotes. And they're so much happier. You know what I mean? Like they just, we all helicopter, whether we think that we're those kind of people or not. For sure, we do. Oh, yeah. I know you saying that right now is like, would I let her go off by yourself? I also think that traveling for them, aside from what they learn from different cultures or being in different places, one of the biggest things that I think is really cool is they did a science study on why are people happier when they travel. And it's not because they're experiencing something new or seeing new things.

What it comes down to is you have to be present. Because in regular lives, we know, okay, the stores this way or how to walk into school. The kids do it 100 times. But when you travel, everything is brand new. So you have to be there because you don't know where the store is. If I cross the street here. So all of a sudden, you're forced to be present. present and that's what makes you happy. It's not necessarily the new places. Oh, interesting.

That makes total sense. Broad Ideas is supported by Hatch. Do you wake up yawning? Yes. Rolling yourself out of bed with groggy eyes after a long night in and out of your child's room trying to coax them back to sleep. Yes. With the Hatch rest, your child will sleep better so that you can too. Waking up feeling refreshed and being a parent to young children don't usually go hand in hand. But with the hatch rest, restful nights for the entire family can be your new reality. If bedtime is more like a blanket battle or a snooze stalemate between you and your children, you need to add the hatchrest to your bedtime toolkit. The new and improved second generation hatchrest makes sleep better and more magical for your

entire family. The all-in-one hatchrest is a smart sleep device with a sound machine and nightlight that grows with your kids. babies love the continuous sounds of white noise and lullabies for a soothing and comfortable sleep environment. I actually love it for myself. And now I'm using hatchrest because you know what? Sometimes I need a little white noise through the night. I can't sleep without it.

I can't sleep without it. I can't sleep without my child either, but that's another story. The rest has helped over 3 million babies and parents get restful sleep. It's no wonder that it's consistently a top baby registry item. Right now, Hatch is offering our listeners up to 15% off your purchase of a Hatch Rest and free shipping and hatch.co slash ideas. So if you're ready for improved sleep for your kids and yourself, go to hatch.co slash ideas to get up to 15% off and free shipping. That's hatch.com slash ideas. Broad Ideas is supported by Caldera Lab. Ladies, is there anything more attractive

than when a guy takes care of himself? Our new partner, Caldera Lab, is helping guys get their healthiest skin with an all-natural simple skin care routine that is clinically proven to work on all skin types. This is a great gift for your husband or partner or any father figures in your life with Father's Day right around the corner. With their clinically proven products, wrinkles, fine lines, and signs of aging are visibly reduced and surefire boost to their confidence this summer. Use code ideas at caldera lab.com to enjoy an exclusive 20% off their finest products. I am huge on skin care. I love, like I said, you know, men that take care of themselves, I think it's attractive. It shows consideration. And I think skin care is important and you want to really

know what you're putting on your skin and seeping into your body. It turns out that a lot of guys want to take care of their skin, and they just don't know where Caldera Lab comes in. Caldera Lab makes it simple for guys with their four-step daily routine, and after he feels his face after using these products, he'll be hooked. And ladies, these products are actually up to our standards. The ingredient list is insane with all plant-based, cruelty-free, organic, or wild-harvested ingredients, and science-backed formulas. Now here's the exciting part.

You can get 20% off with our exclusive code ideas at caldera lab.com. That's 20% off at caldera lab.com by using code ideas. Give the gift of skin care to the man in your life to make father time a thing of the past with Caldera Lab. It's kind of like your theory about watching crime dramas at night before you go to sleep. I need to hear this theory. Our listeners are going to be like, I don't want to hear about that. Talk so much about, like, women-loving true crime. True crime stuff.

Ah, okay. Because what is the theory? Is it like, well, things are, I'm doing pretty good because my ex-wife doesn't try to murder me on my vacation or something. No. Something like that. That should be the new thing, though, where we have them try to guess what the theory is. So the theory is, when you watch those kind of shows, it.

kicks. This is just something I came up with because I'm like, why do I like this so much? And I realize that the animal body gets wakened. And so you're so anxious because you need to know what's going on or what's going to happen next, that you're present. And you can't think about the things you have to do. You can't think about all the things that, especially as a mom, yeah, completely. So that's why I believe women like it is because it makes them just anxious enough to actually be present in the moment. Hmm. I think that's very cool. Yeah, it just, what is that cortisol that is released in your brain when you're stressed?

Mm-hmm. Exactly. I can't handle that, though. I can't do it. You can't watch any true crime? Not just not for me. That's good. I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know what it is. Probably before I hit kids, but now I would think that all those bad things are going to happen to them. I did like it before I had kids, but now I'm like, definitely one of those scary dudes definitely hiding in my dryer right now, probably. Oh, there's someone in my back seat, like now.

For sure, I can't. Like, urban legend, like all that shit. I mean, it scares the living shit out of me. I can't even make scary movies. Do you do scary stuff? I've never done a scary movie. Olivia right now is in Pennsylvania shooting a scary movie? I mean, is it a scary movie or is it?

What would we classify it as? It's a horror movie. It's a horror movie. Okay. See? Yeah, but we know. You love this stuff. You can handle it. Yeah.

Giving someone else their nighttime, you know, safety thrills. I know. I've been talking about potentially maybe trying to do something that has like paranormal stuff. And I'm like, I don't know that I can survive this like mentally. I really don't because I get so scared so easily. I do too. It's, I don't know.

It also just, I'm so lazy, you guys. I'm like, it seems like a lot of acting. It seems like. Olivia, are you the good guy or the bad guy? I can't say. Damn it. That's such a bad guy thing. That's such a bad guy thing to say.

Yeah, you're the bad guy. You're the killer. You fully killed everybody. You know what's crazy though, is that without giving too much away, where I'm staying, is actually where an urban legend. What? What is the urban legend? So there's a place in Pennsylvania called Pig Hill.

I'm already scared. I can't. I'm taking these out. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. No. Oh my God. You're doing me.

It's already scary. I can't. She took her your phone down. When they were driving me in, the guy's like, and that's the actual pig hill. What? Oh, yeah. He's like, your hotel looks right out at it. No.

Uh-uh. No. You haven't even told us anything. and it's still fucking terrifying. Is it called Pig Hill? Yeah. I don't like it. I don't.

Oh my God. Olivia, why did you kill all those pigs? I didn't. I didn't kill any pigs. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Oh, God. Has there ever been a movie or like a part that you wanted more than like anything that

you did not get? And if so, do you remember what it went? Well, I guess you would if you were. Oh, my God. No, of course. I would. I, oh. I this got discovered.

I never wanted to talk about it, but it's now out there, so why not? Oh, no. The dumbest thing I did was actually get offered one of the X-Men movies, which was not, dare I say, a really ill-informed decision on their part because I'm not being coordinated, you guys. No, it was probably going to be a better plan. But I just remember realizing at the time. time and I did have a lot more opportunities than probably ever. But I was sort of like getting deep into the indie scene.

I was parlaying what little, you know, like what commercial sort of success I had into being able to get cool parts and independent films. I just thought that that seemed like the cool kid, fun thing to do. And I was like, I can make like four cool indies in the time that this movie is going to shoot. Like I was just kind of like, like, I was just always been like a little bit impatient like go, go, go and that just sort of seemed like not the best use of my time, which I am slapping myself in the face as I say this because that was so freaking stupid. Like nobody saw any of those four movies

I probably knocked out. And that was so dumb. And I am sure that I will probably never get cast in any kind of franchise movie ever, not trying to jinx myself. That's just like probably sailed. So that is definitely the dumbest thing that I should not have done. But in terms of like, oh my God, I wanted that. I've definitely bombed some auditions that I really wish I hadn't. But I don't think it's because I wanted it that bad. I just more like have regrets about my performance and that's sort of harder in a way. Do you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. For sure. What about you? Do you have any parts that you turn down? You look back and be like, what was I thinking? Turn down? Or really wanted? Well, I know there's always stuff that you want.

But yeah, I mean, the one thing that I, I remember I met on and the director really liked me for it. This one always sticks out because fuck, I would have liked to have done it, but I never could have done what she did. Actually, I've never seen it, but Blue Valentine with Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling. Oh, yeah. And I remember like, I wanted it so bad. And I never watched it. One, because I remember the time I was bummed, but also, oh, no, I know which one. What?

this one that I was up for that I didn't get was Dear John with Channing Tatum and I wanted that so bad and I'll never forget Avatar was like number one of the box office forever and then Dear John like came in and took it out and I remember just being so bummed that I didn't get it. Now that I'm thinking about it, there's like many like that that you're like close to getting and then you don't get and but Blue Valentine I didn't watch because I heard it was really depressing and like obviously I mean I don't hold the candle to Michelle Williams so shut your beautiful face Rachel. That is utterly ridiculous. I mean, you know, I mean, it's Michelle Williams. You know what I'm saying. No, but that, no, but that does remember I remember going in for Brokeback Mountain, but I like did not. No, I made a tape and they were like, you can meet with Angley if you fly back to L.A. But they like Michelle Williams for it. And I was like, I'm not even going to bother, which was a total, again, total moron move, but I totally wanted to do that. Of course. It's kind of like an example of like just giving up before you even, right? Like, just like,

you're like, no, no, cast her. Yeah. I was, well, no, I think I was. Well, no, I think I was. also like I liked my tape and I was just like maybe we could just do the tape but I was also I think low key giving up a little bit because she's Michelle Williams so you don't say that see you just do the same exactly no you're right but like it's funny it's funny who we like put on a on pedestals about stuff but like right but yeah I remember I went in for a pilot that I know you ended up doing but I can't remember the name of it right now but it was really cute it was an ensemble piece it was about a guy in the music business oh love stroke you went out for that? Yeah, I remember if I was really nice. They were having trouble finding the guy.

Yes, they were having trouble finding the guy and we shot in Atlanta, but it was like, it would only do one season because each season was going to be a different cast. Good idea. Yeah, I was like, okay, just like one season and it like, whatever. Anyways, that was like totally last minute. It was a fun project. It was a bummer. It didn't come together the way it was supposed to, but. How often does that even happen, right? I know, I know. Oh, I didn't know you went out for that. That's so cool. I mean, that was, I have positive memories about that because everyone was really nice. I did not completely fall flat on my face. Like, honestly, whenever I can go home and just feel like I did good work, I relax and I don't care anymore. Like I just, you leave it. It's the ability to get paid. Like, I feel like, I just,

I have to have a more detached relationship with the industry as I get older. Like burnout is real, you guys. I don't know how you feel, but especially like two years ago, I am burnt toast. This is hard. Right. Right. Yeah. I know, probably more than two years ago. When I started making my own stuff, I started feeling better. There you go. Yeah, but it's still, you know, draining. I am very, probably too strict on, you know, wanting to oversee things.

They'll be like, oh, you know, you don't have to watch all the tapes of the supporting roles. Like, here's the selection. I'm like, must watch all the tapes, you know what I mean? I just feel like, what if it's my fault that somebody didn't get seen? Or, like, wait a second, this editor hasn't done comedy. Like, can we find somebody who's done comedy? comedy, like, let's shake the bushes again. Like, let's, let's keep trying. Because I feel like if a mistake can be prevented, then it's my fault if it gets made later, you know? So, I don't know,

I'm a little bit handsy with my projects for sure. Yeah, I think that's awesome. That means you have the right mind for it. You can't kind of be hands off and make your own projects. Doesn't it work that way. Yeah. If, yeah, I mean, I think maybe from people who just playing have, you know, a production company with its own financing and amazing taste and you can just sort of hire the right people and then just, you know, sort of be the maestro. Sure, I bet that must be wonderful, but that's not the pool I'm playing in it, you know? Yet. But yeah, well, we'll see. But yeah, being an actor who's just, you know, waiting for the next audition to come, I was not emotionally cut out to do that for much longer. If I had literally been good at anything else,

I would have gone and done it. Right. What would you do if you would have done something else? Olivia, I don't know, so thank God. Like, I'm not good at anything. It's like that bit that Kevin Hart does about failing night school and realizing that comedy had to work out. Like, really resonated with me. Oh my God. That's so funny because my daughter's and Girl Scouts and they're like, in the beginning,

you fill out a thing. And like, what can you contribute to the troop? And like, your skills. And I was like, you guys, I can buy snacks. That is my skill set. I'm like, I have no skills to offer. I felt like such. for Rachel. Well, I mean, you know, some of these moms, let me tell you, okay? No, you're absolutely right. I would have said the same thing. And even the snack thing intimidates me. There's so many allergies and requirements. I know. I try to volunteer my kid's school. And I have, obviously. But the first time I went, I was like, I can set up for the book fair. And I go and I was like, I am qualified to put the books on a shelf. Like, I'm going to crush this. And then I set up a shelf and then I move on. I go back for some more books to put out. And another mom who had been there, like, loudly as complaining about how I was.

put the books out and completely redid it. What? I know. And she did do it better in fairness. But I was like, why do I even bother? Or why her bother? I don't know, you guys. I like want to go like fight them all now.

That makes me mad. That's shitty. That is shitty. You know? What is all out here trying to do our best? Trying to put the books on the shelf. Trying to put the fucking books and put the snacks in the mouth. You know what I mean?

That's all we're doing. But even the Girl Scout thing, like, do you have to help? super sold the cookies. Like to me, that's like anxiety-inducing. Is your daughter not a Girl Scout? No, she's not. She's on a swim team and she takes piano. Oh, yeah. No, my daughter is busy every single day of the week. It's so insane. I had no idea it was going to be this crazy. But yeah, so she's in Girl Scouts just because it's more about all her friends from her school and whatever. Yeah, that's wonderful. The cookie thing, you have to guess how many cookies you're going to sell before you sell them. It's so fucked up. You're like, um, okay. And then. And then,

And then so it was all this panic. Like, oh, you run out. How are you going to get more? You're bargaining with other moms. Like, can I have to fucking Samoa it? Like, it was not cool. So what was your tactic? Can you over-order or?

I thought I would be an under-order. Oh, no, I'm an over-oh-oh. Because I'm like an always over-order no matter what it is. Right, right, right. But definitely over-ordered. But they were gone, like, almost instantly. And I was like, you got to close down the shop because you can't close the shop. People can keep buying even if you don't have the supply.

Okay? I'm telling you. That's, no. It was not. It was, you need to change that business model. It was so stressed. So stressed. So stressed. And then so I got a ton more.

And then I'm like, oh, fuck, now we have a ton more. Also, what is the hot cookie this year? What's going on? So there was a new cookie. You guys, I shit you not. There was a new cookie. It was chocolate covered raspberry something. They sold out too fast that people were buying them for $200 on eBay.

What? Were they good? I think I tried one? No, they're not. No, they're not. No, they're not good. Like somebody needs to say it out loud. Girls cow cookies are not tasty.

It was literally like the hot new cookie no one could get. So people were selling it on eBay for like four times the price. Is this an L.A. thing? Is this as being L.A. stupid and needing to have a certain girls cow cookie? Is that what we've come to? I believe what I heard through the grapevine, it was a countrywide problem. With this chocolate covered raspberry fucking cookie. Is it like a jelly?

No, it's like a thin mint, but instead of mint, it's raspberry. Oh, I see. $200. I don't know if it's $200, but it was definitely way over what the price was. I need, you know what? You've told me I do need to try this cookie. Go on eBay and see if you can find it. Chocolate covered strawberries are good, so I was trying to figure out, like, is it going

to be good like that, you know? I don't know. I don't know, you guys. But I did learn next year, whatever new cookie it is, I don't care. Get the new cookie. As soon as it's available, I'm going to buy that shit out. and guess what? Teach my daughter how to make a fucking profit.

Yeah. To what age are they Girl Scouts? You can be a Girl Scout like all through high school, I think, up until. I mean, you think she's crazy? No, you know why? Because I'm not going to be. It is a lot of fucking work. So she's not Eagle Scout material.

No, she is. She fully. Like as far as like she could get down and show some people what's up. But like we had our first camp out on Friday night. It was a backyard camp out because they have to start in the backyard before they can graduate to the actual wilderness. Okay. I think that's wise.

Yes, definitely. I mean, actually it turned out being fun and they had a good time, but the lead up to it was so intense and the things and the checklists and who's bringing. I mean, it was, and all the moms. Oh, my God, and we're all like close together. Now, I have this thing. The troop leader was like, what parents are bunking together? And I'm like, I'm 41 years old.

I'm not like sharing a tent with another parent. Like, that's so. Especially a parent. I don't know. Right? Like there's some that I know better, but still, you're going to sleep like that awkward thing of like, okay, good night. Like, I'm going to sleep now.

Let's stop talking. And you're like, do I snore? Like, would people tell me? Someone was snoring next to me, you guys, in another tent. And I was so mad because I was quite comfortable. I got like this tiny little pod pop-up tent, mind you, because I wasn't fucking around. And someone pitched their tent like right next to me. And I was like, God damn it.

And they were snoring. Not cool. Oh my God. Let's ask some fun questions and let's get off this Girl Scout train. What's the worst movie that you love to watch? Oh, I thought you were going to say that you've been in and I was like, oh, God, it's tough to choose. It really depends who you ask. Can you ask my aunt?

Just kidding. She will tell you. Let me think, what's the worst movie that I've ever seen and why? That you love to watch. Oh, that I love to watch. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. let me think.

It has to be bad also. It doesn't have to be bad but maybe not considered like just something that people would be like you watch that all the time. That kind of thing, right Lou? I don't think it's a super controversial answer but I did recently rewatch a favorite of mine from when I was a kid. Don't tell mom the babysitter's dad.

The dishes are done, man. Dishes are done, man. Fucking love that movie. Did you watch it with your daughter or no? Yes. And is it a pro? Like, can I watch it with my kid? You can.

You definitely can. It's a little bit your way. You have to do sort of do a check on how old Christina Applegate is supposed to be and what she is out doing. Oh. Because she's out like drinking martinis with these 80-style businessmen. That's right. And you're like, well, maybe this is wrong. Because she's pretending to be someone who's much older.

But you're like, this would not happen. This would not get made right now. Like I remember my kid's going, how old is she again? I'm like, it's not important. Probably at least at least 21. That's okay. But yeah, I'm all over at Rose. I love it so much.

I love that movie. I'm so happy you said that. That was so good. The perfect answer. What are your guys? That's a good one. If I say mine, it's like my favorite movie, but maybe it's not considered the best movie in the world, but Olivia gets mad at me because I say it every time.

I'm not going to, I won't say it. Okay. Okay. That's totally fine. Jesus Christ, Olivia. Here we are. We fight about this often. Are you guys unscripted people?

It's so hard to sit down and like sign up for watching a whole movie unless I want to play in these days. I'm such an unscripted addict. Like why can I not support the industry that provides me a living? Why do I just keep watching this unscripted garbage that I love so much? Oh, I'm sorry. Because my next question was if you could go on any reality show, which would it be? Oh my God.

Okay. So one I'm the most glad I'm not on is 90-day fiancé. Holy shit. That looks stressful. That is 1,000% I cannot believe people are getting themselves into that situation. Yes. I would fully do Love is Blind.

Thank you. Right? I mean. Because it's cool. Like people don't, then you don't have to like, you know, like be what people expect you to be

or what they want you to, you know, you would too. I love Love is Blind. Olivia just now while she's out in Pig Hill has started watching it because I talk about it all the time. And she finally gave it, but she started from the beginning,

the first season. That's smart because then she's the rest to go. Yeah. And plus she won't encounter as many spoilers. That's very good. I'm so glad that you're checking it out now. Yeah.

Well, I would love that. So wait. Okay, so Olivia, you're a happily married lady. Rachel, are you out there? Oh, that's what I wanted to. Are you, like, dating? Are you, like, going out with someone? No.

I know, I wanted to know what's going on with you. I'm a disaster person. I'm just terrorizing these streets. Oh. How do you do it? Yeah, we wanted to talk to you about being a single mom and dating and what that's like for you. Oh my God, where to be in?

Do you do the apps? I've gotten some app dates. Yeah. I feel like my new tactic, and this was given to me by my friend, Steve, shout out Steve Michaels. He said what you have to do is just tell everyone that you know, even if you don't know them super well, just be like, I'm out there, I'm ready to be set up. Because everyone who's probably good for you who can exist like somewhere near your sphere is probably a person or two away.

So just be open to that. So I've been on some good setups recently. Like that's been kind of fun. But I feel like I'm going to exhaust that pool pretty soon. It's all with like a lot of mixed results. That's for sure. Really? Okay.

Do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy dating? I like one thing that you don't have like when you're in a relationship is like you can't really go out and just recreationally just meet members of the opposite sex and just like get to know them and just like share a meal and have the particular. of there maybe being a something. Like, that's all, that's a no. Like, there's a whole group of people who you can't spend time with. Like, it's sort of unsaid, but you can't go actively seeking out new male friends. It's just like, not that I couldn't, but it just wouldn't be worth

the conversation. You know what I mean? Like, or just having to explain and who has that much time anyway. So I like getting to know people, again, period, who are, who have to be members of, in my case, the opposite sex. And just having that. sort of fun what if experience and yeah I like talking to strangers you know what I mean I feel like you'd be a great date or yeah I was just thinking like thank you'd be fun to go on it I could see like just being super you know charismatic and I'm trying I'm trying and I like people but yeah I've definitely had some dozies like I went out with this guy one time I thought everything was going great and then he was like sorry I just think you're wonderful I can't go out with you anymore you'd remind me

lot of my ex-wife. And I was just like, okay, she seems really cool. So I'm just going to take that as a compliment. And I'm going to move on. But you just, you never know why something's not going to work out. And those sort of ups and downs, those hills and valleys are not super fun. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't know. What do they say? A good life has many chapters. I really feel like I'm in a, I'm in a good period of my life. But I am somebody who like wants a partner, but I don't feel like urgent about that happening right now because I'm scared of bringing someone into like meet my kids and then having them disappear again. And I just don't, not a, sorry, not again. I have a great relationship with my ex and he's kept in touch with the kids. But I really am just going to be super wary about who gets to come into my life in that capacity. Right. Oh, you're ex. You're three years. Yeah, no, no. Sorry, my ex-boyfriend. Not my ex-husband. Not my ex-husband. I know. You're like, my ex-husband is kept in touch with the kids. Oh, my God. My ex, by the way, is a great. dad and a lovely human and I really like his girlfriend and let me say like she is a serious

value add to our family and I can't understand someone you're not like being excited about well it has to be the right person but yeah I really like my ex-husband's new girlfriend she's wonderful I love this I mean this is so this is great you know I just say what is your story I'm clearly not up to date or if you have shared recently and what's What's going on with you? Oh, I don't have anything going on to report. But I have been pressured recently by friends to try the apps or like do those things. And I haven't done it.

I've never done it. Do you do the setups though? I would do it. Yeah. Like I would be open to that for sure. I mean, but I don't know that I've, I don't know that I know people to like put it out there too. Does that make sense? All right.

I'll do it. I've met my Cupid. Yeah, I don't know. It's so hard. Like, I do find it's hard dating as a single mom because you don't really have the time or the luxury of being able to go out most evenings. You know what I mean? Completely. I know.

Someone told me, like, if you go out with someone who doesn't have a kid, be careful because they might want one. And then if they do have a kid, it sucks because you'll never see them. And it's like that. You hear both sides, right? Like I've done both and I've done with the kids where you're like, oh, they get it. They have kids. But then you're, you are. You're competing for time and there's schedules and, you know, lots of kids to cater to.

And then the one that doesn't, who doesn't fully understand what it's like to have a kid, but also they're always available. So it's so true. So I don't have the answer, I guess. Yeah. I don't know the better route, you know. I know. And then like, you just never know when someone, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. but I'm not wary of people who haven't been in long, long-term relationships.

I am. I'm starting to pay a little, right? Okay, I was being nice because it's so good. Let's just say what it. Because like, you never know because they'll say things like, I never met the right person. But that's its whole other own breed of like potential conflict. For sure.

You're like, well, I don't know that I'm this magical unicorn. I'm just not sure that you're somebody who even wants that. Right. I mean, my hairdresser, who does not. drop insane like little pearls of wisdom all of the time. She had a really good one the other week. She goes, Rachel, it's just people who want a partner and people who don't. That's it.

I was like, damn, Shadia, that is true. It's totally true. It is. It's totally true. I like aerial monogamous because they know how to relationship. Yeah, that's very true. They know how to be in a relationship. They like relationships.

I consider myself that. We will stick in stuff because we are not quitters, even past the point that we probably should have bailed. But yeah. Okay, so wait. Rachel, you're not doing the apps. You're barely doing the setups. I know that you're like an insanely busy person,

but I'm just telling you don't seem like you're like me, because if I am not like sort of like talking to somebody, if I'm not like, I don't know what to say. Like if I'm not on the hunt somewhere or talking. talking to somebody, like it's in the back of my mind. You know what I mean? And it's very hard to get my work done. Like, I love love a little bit too much.

I wouldn't say I'm like an addict, but it's a preoccupier for me. You know what I mean? I can relate to that. For sure. I love love in the sense of like a complete romantic comedy fucking, you know, addicts. And wanting that movie love and that, you know, all that shit. Like I'm a big fan of it all. And I think that I definitely.

I think maybe, I don't know, there's like two parts to it. Like partly gotten so used to just not having to deal with other opinions or having to share things and, you know, like that side of it. And also, I don't know. I do love love though. And it's fun talking to people. And it's obviously, it's like super fun meeting people. But I just don't like to leave my house. Oh, they will come to your house.

You don't want them in your house right away. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of pressure. Do you like getting ready for a date? Like, do you, is that fun for you? I find it kind of, I find it kind of stressful. Like, it has to be an outfit where not a lot can go wrong. You know what I mean?

Like, I like a jumpsuit. Wait, what do you mean? You like a jumpsuit? But what are I peeing? Oh, no, but it's better than like having to keep the shirt tucked in. Like, if it's like, like, like, like, lousy isn't going to move around a lot. Like, I don't know.

Like a structured jumpsuit. Like, yeah, I'll figure it out. But what if you, like, get down, like, the first and you're in a jumpsuit? I mean, it's one piece. I will make it happen. I mean, I'm not going to forget any pieces of it there. It's one piece. I'm just, like, you know, logistically thinking about this.

And I'm like, how is this working? No, but I find date outfits kind of hard. But I try to reflect the mood I'm in that day or who I want to be in that moment. not a me that I'm not. That's the only dating outfit advice that I would have. Do you have a go-to? I mean, I'm a jeans girl, like jeans and whatever. Like, I've always my whole life, even if it's not a date, I'm all about like what goes around kind of the blank canvas of like a really cute white tea or whatever in jeans, but you have like the really cute shoes or like purse or whatever it is. You have immaculate style. I'm obsessed with your style. And I feel like I have such a hard time getting dressed.

I'm always like, how is Rachel doing it? Because you're not. not a million feet tall either and I'm only five two. I'm five to hard time. Rachel, I'm here for you. Listen, anytime I will FaceTime whatever you need like your next date. Please, it's my favorite thing to do. I love it. I am not good at it. Yeah, send me option. Tell me where you're going. I need a little information and I've got you. I so appreciate that. That is happening. No, I get off on it. Like, even like personal shopping for my friends like my friends like I need to buy whatever and I'll just like fill. their cart online with things and then they edit it and get what they want. I mean,

if I could have that as a job, I would. Like, I want my own app where people can just be like, will you shop for me? People would do that. That could be a hundred percent thing that you did. That's the thing that people do. My business, I'm throwing it out there. What's the last thing that you Googled? Um, what is the last thing? All right. I'm going to look. I'm going to look right on real time of you guys. I think it's fun. What's yours, Olivia? Oh, I don't. Let's see. Oh, look at mine too. I'm nervous, guys.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Full transparency. I know. Okay, I have mine. I'll tell you. It's this. Oh, no. What is it?

What do you read reviews, either of you. Oh, is that what you Googled your movie and its reviews? Yeah. They're mixed, but you know what? I fully anticipated that and a lot more, more positive than negative, but it's easy to dwell a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And it's also like, I don't know. I just feel like there should be a category of like, hey, if you didn't think that you even liked this category of movie, like, if your favorite movie is Platoon, I don't know that tourist guide to love is also going to be something you even may be like. So I just feel like if you're subbing in for someone who is on vacation, like, can you just like have a little bit of like, I don't know. It just feels a little bit incongruous to me sometimes who they have like look at things. I think in this day and age where it's like, you know, the bullying and like whatever.

It's like, why do you have to be? Oh, dude. Because it's still people that like, you know, have a little compassion. Well, it's, you know, and I get that it's not their job to have compassion. I will be harder on myself in that sense. I think that there should just honestly be a bumper of do you think that this is something that you would like? Because that's who's going to watch it. You know what I mean?

Totally. Right. I think that's fair. Do you always read? Yeah, because I'm a curious, weird little person. And then are you hard on yourself or kind to yourself when you read them? I think that they're educational and I'm lucky enough to be, I think that I don't, I don't know, I'll knock myself down a little bit in the sense that I don't think that I make crazy enough choices that I could ever really get destroyed. So I don't think I've ever been truly ripped apart.

Do you read it? reviews? Mm-hmm. Not of myself, but of anybody that I dated, I like to read reviews on them. I'm just kidding. Interesting. Oh, my God. If there was Yelp for people, you guys.

I mean, there should be. What the fuck? Like, you know what? There needs to be an app for people who have dated these people for the dating apps that review and fucking write up every date so you know what you're in for. Okay. I would, but I couldn't do that because mine would be like she does snore, especially when she has a cold.

She will not get rid of her cats. She has unusual eating habits. I would not do good. Wait, what are your unusual eating habits? Oh, my God. It's not, no, it's not that bad. I'm just like, I don't like putting seeds on things. I don't understand why restaurants just throw handfuls of seeds on stuff.

I don't hate coconut. I don't eat meat or fish. Like, I'm just weird. Are you vegan or just vegetarian? Just vegetarian. There could be a whole podcast called dietary restrictions if people could just talk for hours. I'm so bored of myself even talking about it. Oh, no.

Well, her son can't eat anything. So you're speaking to the choir. Yeah. Okay. See, that's like medically necessary, though. I'm just an asshole. I'm sorry. Respect, though.

What was the last thing on Google, Olivia? Giggle. Trip advisor for Pennsylvania town. For Pig Hill? Big Hill. Yeah. What did? trip advisor say about pig hill

there's cracker barrel okay I fucking love cracker barrel cracker barrel is good no I can't eat any of it dude I know you can't she can't eat gluten it's a whole thing but I can't believe you didn't tell me the fucking cheesy like um hash cat the fucking potato cheesy

I can't even think of any of it but that's my favorite and baked apples get out of here in the general store I'm fully reading the trip advisor of pig hill though It's going to be like, do not recommend. One star. This is the story and I'm going with it. Okay, Olivia.

It's called Pig Hill. It's on TripAdvisor. People died there. It's very aggressive movie. People died there in an aggressive mass murder. There's Cracker Barrel and Murder. Oh, my God. It's true.

Okay. All right. So you Googled the Cracker Barrel. menu. I googled. What did you Google? Susan B. Anthony costumes for girls. Wonderful. Yes. I bet they were adorable. I had to order. I didn't realize. Breyer, that is her Women History Month, you know, and they're doing women. And she picked Susan B. Anthony and she needs to do her presentation and they're supposed to either bring props or costume. And, you know, so I was frantically searching. Are you going to make it? How are you going to do this?

Can I sew is a more important question? I don't know. Can I tape black construction paper to her and call it a dress? Yes. No, I was going to rely on good old Amazon and see what I could come up with because I didn't realize I needed this by Friday. That was my Google, guys. That is going to be adorable, though. Very revealing for all of us.

Our Google search. It definitely is. How many days a week do you want to have sex? You seem really nice, so I'm just going to say it. I'm just the way you said it. I'm so sorry. Propositioning you now. Let's be hilarious.

I'm sorry. I can't. Why can I, why do I always deflect with humor? What is wrong with me? I need to bring that up with my therapist. Best way to be. This is fun. I mean, when I really like somebody and there are no kids around, no, I can't, you guys,

we can't talk about their freaking kids are going to listen to this we can't your kids are going to listen to this i don't know well here's here's actually let me tell you what i was thinking about as i was like frantically getting ready to talk to you guys i was like what a cool thing that your kids have this podcast to just listen to who you are sort of as a person talking to your friends no they have this opportunity that this exists in the ether for them to sort of retroactively get to know who you were at this time in your life when they were young. Not when they're in their 20s. They're never allowed you guys.

Come on. I mean, I'm talking maybe late 30s. So mild on you. We've been so mild. Like, we go there. We're normally like, do it on your period. Like, we. Oh, yeah.

I don't think our kids will want to know that. Oh, that's a very good point. They would have to want to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a hurdle that makes sense to me. Yeah.

So, no, they will not be listening to this. Okay, fine. Fair enough. Uh, yeah, I'm just like, you know, um, I, what can I say? I like to have a great time. Yeah. I think Theo and Charlotte could handle me saying that. Yeah, that's fair. I feel like that's, we got it. Okay, this one, this one's totally, uh, mild and tame. Your top three favorite children's books. Um, wow. That was just like a record scratch difference from the last question. That's right. Um, that's how we mix it up. That's funny. Um, um, let me, you think. BJ Novak book with no pictures is wonderful. Let me think. You guys, shout out some stuff. Just really feel like I can't remember. I'm not going to say good night, moan. That's

boring. Why is that classic still around? Oh, my good. There's one called my pony. It has nothing to do with my little pony, but the illustrations are stunning. I can't remember. It's a writer-illustrator, and that's absolutely gorgeous. It's just about this girl who powerfully wants a horse so much that she imagines one who then comes and visits her in her dreams. And it's about how your imagination can make things real. And it's really cute. That's so sweet. I love that. And for some reason, I can't even think of the third one right now. It's fine. You don't have to. Probably like all of the things that you, oh, all the places you'll go. Oh, yeah. Of course. Like not being in the waiting place. Like, it's very sort of plaintive. And when you talk about not

waiting to your kids, it'll kind of bring a tear to your eye about the urgency with which we should be living. You know, it's kind of wild. Yeah. I like where my sidewalks. Oh, yes, that's a beautiful one. Giving trees my favorite. Oh my gosh, of course. Yeah.

Those are classics. That was so sad too. Oh, no. That would hit you in the heart pretty good. It hits you in the heart real hard. But about that other one. What? Do you guys see that other one?

I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always as long as you're living my baby. Yes. Of course. Of course. I'm so intense, man. It is. I'm a fan of it, though.

I'm not going to lie. What was your favorite song in high school? I was a big Usher fan as soon as he came out. So I remember purchasing the Usher single. I think it was of

You Make Me Wanna. I was going to say it's a great song to this day. I don't know what to tell you. Apparently I loved love for early on. Thank you, Usher. For sure. It was that or pony, genuine pony.

I mean, you know, no. These are great songs. Yes. I totally agree. You like ride your pony. But yes. You Make Me Wanna was huge. in high school.

Completely. Olivia, what was yours? In high school, gosh. I think I was like really into, I was into like smashing pumpkins and nirvana. I don't know what my favorite song was. Okay, the emo stuff. I get it.

Yeah. Yeah, I had a big alternata sort of phase for a while. Good times. For sure. If you could pick anywhere else in the world to live, where would it be? Oh my gosh. Anywhere else in the world to live like just else other than L.A. or else America?

No, anywhere in the world. See, I want to say that I would live in Mareia like off of Tahiti just because it's so peaceful and wonderful and all that. But if I'm really honest with myself, I'm too much of a city person. So I was super impressed by like, I really enjoyed Mexico City. I went there last year. It was incredible, this thing. Anyone has not been yet really worth a visit. Yeah, I want to go.

Just really artistic and awesome. Just the whole city is curated. It's like everyone agreed on a look. Like, it's just stunning. Yeah. What about you guys? Oh, God. I've always wanted to do the New York thing.

I'm not going to lie. Oh, totally. I never did that. No. I didn't either. Yeah, I feel like I should have given that more of a fair shake. And I like, yeah, it's, there's something about that energy. It's hard to leave.

leave your house to like throw yourself into it to be part of it but when you're in it you're in it yeah i always thought i would do that i mean i've never even been to italy but i go italy is fucking wonderful yeah yeah it is okay just as good as it seems our closing thoughts um closing thoughts what something people would be surprised to learn about you um let me think I think that I'm a really nice person, but there's an equal and opposite reaction to being that way sometimes. I'm nice, but if you cross me, I will not forget. I don't know how to say that in a nice way. I will not exact revenge on you, but if you do something to me that you should not have done, I will tell people.

And I will not be sorry about that. So you have boundaries. Yeah. Good for you. I don't know. I try. And yeah, I think it's just, I think that a lot of people would, especially when I was very young, think that I was like a pushover and this, that, and the other.

But you should be, people should be wary. Be careful with nice people because we have a lot of friends. Yeah. Well put. Well put. Thank you. You are just, I just love you and we're going to hang out. I love you.

And Olivia, I love you. Stop murdering the pigs. I'll try and stop it. This was so much fun. Thank you so much for talking to us today. Thank you for having me on. As my friend Whitney loves to say, love you,

love your show. And it's such an honor to be on. Thank you so much, ladies. Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you. How do you cook your steak, Rob? Medium. But like, how do you prepare it?

Do you do it in a cast iron skillet in the oven? Do you do it on the stove? Do you do it on barbecue? You know what I mean? Mm-hmm, I know what you mean. Because I just explained it. No, I don't understand. Yeah, I still don't get it.

Usually it's just stove top. I mean, yeah, a cast iron skillet would be great to do it on. I saw recently, if you heat the skillet with fat first and then cook the steak in it is a thing. Have you heard of that? Yeah. That makes me a little sick to my stomach thinking about it, though, because it reminds you. me a bone marrow and I feel like bone marrow just tastes like fat. Oh, man. It's disgusting. I do not a fan. Are you a fan? I'm down.

At the right place. Yeah, bone marrow's great. It's also like a Filipino delicacy too. Did you say in Tulsa? No, he did it. He said bone marrow is great. I think he said. Yeah. It's also, that's what you said. It's also, but it's not like it's Tulsa. I actually, I don't think it's a delicacy in the Filipino food they like bone marrow. Yeah. Buf. I'm not a fan. That just made me both. Are you a fan of caviar?

I don't think I am. Me neither. It's like fishy. Yeah, what about? Right? I haven't had enough experience with it to know. Do you like paté? No. Me neither. Buf. I'll eat almost anything if it's like at the right place and like I trust the chef knows what they're doing with it. Like foie gras? Yeah.

Fugua that. Those poor little geese. Like French laundry has a caviar dish that's insane. But isn't caviar fishy? It's fishy, right? No, they're little like eggs. They're salty little bursts. I know that they are.

It depends on they're prepared. But I don't know. I don't get a fishy taste from it. Okay. Do you like oysters? I like oysters. I do too. I'm a fan.

But do you like the actual oysters or do you like all the size? With the mignette and the hot. Someone wrote in and was like, they said, they commented on our Arby's thing because we talked about the dead body in the Arby's. And then they started saying different ways people say different sauces. Yeah. Someone called it an barbecue sauce. Arbique sauce is amazing.

I love it. I thought that was good. I was my kind of people right there. Arbique sauce. Yeah. Yeah. I had really good oysters two days ago. Where?

There's this new place Loretto in Frogtown. Someone was, or was it you talking about it? Someone talked about that. Someone named Robb. Someone named Robb was talking about it. Where were the oysters from? Because you know, I don't even, I'm not even sure where they were from. Were they little?

This was like a really quick, it was meant to be quick. It was a where we had the kids. So it was just like. You had kids in a restaurant? Yeah, we had both. Both the boys. Like you birthed. Oh, got it.

Got it. Do you know when oysters, though, that are like really big and it looks like a big old cow tongue? I don't like them. They're disgusting. Yeah, I like the like saltier, brineer, smaller ones. Salter or brineer? Smaller. Are we snobs talking about oysters and caviar?

Listen. Well, no, because I don't like heavier patte. You know I love shit. Food. You love shit? I love shit. I had a huge pile of coyote. shit in my yard yesterday.

I thought my fence was fixed. Yeah, I thought your fence was fixed and no coyotes can get in anymore. How do you know it wasn't Sprout, the dog that was over? Oh, well, I have a picture. Oh, no, thanks. I don't want to see. I don't want to see that. How do you know it wasn't like a human shit?

You can tell when it's wild poop versus domesticated dog poop, and it was large. Sprout is very tiny. Our friend Jill's dog was here, but she's very tiny with very tiny poops. And these had berries and acorns in it. And it was bigger, much bigger. Someone keeps letting their dog shit in our front area. And not picking it up. So rude.

Yeah. I bet you could catch them on camera. I know. Remember candid camera? Yeah, I loved that show. Yeah. It was like the original punked. You know what's really annoying?

So I stayed at Rachel's this weekend with my whole family. My dog stayed at my house. That was really, is that really annoying? That was really annoying. That was really annoying. No. My dog stayed at home. with my brother. And when I went home, she greeted us. Hi, hi, dog. We missed you. Then I go in my room

five minutes later. And she, right when we got home, she went and peed on my bed. And then she peed in the kids room. And then she peed right in front of the open door. Yeah, she was annoyed with you. She was annoyed with us, right? Yeah. But she does that anyways. She hasn't been peeing on our bed lately. But she does do it, is my point. Yeah, but like we got home and she was like, oh, yeah. you're home. I'm going to piss on your bed. That was a big fuck you to both of you. Yeah, I'm going to piss on your clean bed.

Yeah, she's an asshole. So do you get rid of a dog that does that? What do you do? Well, you were going to get rid of her for reasons because she has aggression, which is valid because she bites. Yeah. But my brother and Jeff looked at me like I was a murderer when I said, should we get rid of her?

Because she peed on the bed? Yeah. Natalie suggested we get rid of her. Huxley this week. Why? Why? I always joke about it. Oh, Huxley's so sweet.

She barks so much at like packages and stuff and she wakes up the baby from now and just like ruins the day. So she's just like we need to get rid of this dog. A lot of moms get rid of like it's like a, I think it's like a mama bear thing. A lot of people get rid of their dogs once they have kids. They're like no more of you. I think she was maybe just stressed at that time. Yeah. Someone offered to buy her once.

One of her dad's friends offered us a bunch of money. Like, we'll buy this dog. We're moving to Texas and we want to take her with. Aw. Now you're regretting that decision to not sell. She was considering it, which I was the one that was like, we can't sell the dog, even though I kind of hate her. You hate her? I don't hate her, but I pretend like I hate her.

But you actually love her? I guess. Oh. She's annoying. Where does she sleep? She's in Calvin's room now. Aw. With him on his bed?

No, he, on a lazy boy in his room. Aw. That's so cute. He wants her to sleep in bed with him, but she hates him. Oh. She has like PTSD from when he was a baby. She was a puppy when he was a baby. Yeah.

That's really funny. She's good and fine with Vincent. That's interesting. She's old enough now where she, like is a little more patient with the baby. He's so cute, Vincent. Oh, man. Both of your kids are pretty darn cute.

We're gonna get him a haircut soon. Vincent? It's getting them really long. We had to get blood drawn from Shepard yesterday. And my friend came over and he was showing her and he was going, Dr. Buboed me. And she goes, what's worse? Getting your blood drawn or having your hair cut?

because she was there the last time we got his haircut and he was screaming bloody murder and no she said what would you rather do get your blood drawn or have your haircut inhuman blood drawn oh who's cutting his hair well

no our friend Jennifer's sister no cool she's just like pulling a hair out at a time she's so gentle he just really doesn't like getting his haircut it's a thing he likes his hair he said ray ray this weekend and it made my life. He did. He loves me.

He didn't want me to leave. That really made my day. What did he say? No, Ray, Ray. And he was like saying, like, pointing to stay. Oh, yeah, stay. A little cutie.

I was like we're done with her. Are you on Instagram, Olivia? Yeah. Because you like this comment. I just responded to him. Not even really. We're all talking to each other and Olivia is just absent mind.

on her Instagram and responded to Rob on Instagram while he's in front of her and talking to her. Sorry. That was like a me move. That was you. I feel like you this morning. I'm like playing with the strings on the thing.

Okay. Here's a question. I want to know what your thoughts are on do you think people are actually capable of change? And if so, what do you think they have to do to obtain it or do you think people can just straight up change? I guess why I asked this to is that we had some conversations with my brother this weekend

that were really eye-opening. Really? Mm-hmm. I mean, I think consequence will help people change. Like, in your brother's case, like, I don't think he's going to go fuck around and do something that might land him in prison after having been there for however long. But that's the pattern. Right.

Is he does every time. He's been doing this dance for 20 years. Yeah, I mean, that's also a harder conversation. because that's more about the recidivism rate and what's in place to help these people from just falling back. Not everyone has a sister with a rich doctor husband that they can go live with. Who does? I don't. Your brother. He doesn't have a sister with a rich doctor husband.

I do think and I wondered because, you know, I saw David and I'm like, it's almost like re-learning how to be a human and social and interacting. Because I could tell he wasn't totally comfortable in his skin and around people. And it's so interesting because you become so accustomed to a certain way of life. Like incorporating yourself has to be extremely difficult. Like does he have a lot of anxiety? You know. Yeah. So he was telling us that he feels comfortable in our home, right?

And in our little pocket of life. But the minute he walks outside, every source. street that he sees reminds him, he actually feels the pull of his old life really strong, which makes him want to just sit in the house. It's not a fear. It's more of an addiction. To the addiction of the life. So do you think he's capable of changing? It's hard. I really do feel it comes down to more of our prison system institutionalizing these people. So I'm not sure. I hold the door open for miracles in all situations and believe his spirit definitely is capable of change. But I do think that programming, no matter what your

programming is, is the hardest thing to change. Even if it's insecurity, it's like reprogramming that is incredibly hard. What does that do on you mentally, then? And if you aren't convinced he is going to change, which means he's going to go do something that potentially could put you or your family. Not at harm. I know you don't think at harm, but could compromise you, make you an accessory, make you. Yeah, and that's happened. But the thing is, is that I don't think it would happen while he's living in our home.

There's usually a few steps out that happen before he goes that route. And right now he's sober. and it typically is. So you know the warning signs to wear. Yeah. It's just like the fear of once he's not in your home. Yes. Right.

Exactly. How was that for you seeing him after that many years? I always, I mean, it's like no time has gone by. You know what I mean? It's David. Like it's just, you know, but I could tell he's still. It's hard for him. Yeah.

Yeah. But then he goes to like Shepard. He has Shepard. I was going to say he has his dude. And then he's okay. But yeah. You know, it's just like relearning. It's like watching all baby deer.

That's what it's like. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. And I don't know how I feel about. Like, I want to believe people can change, but they have to obviously really want the change. But it's hard. And a lot of people, I think, try to stay away from what's hard and they do what's easy.

And then I personally believe if you just take the easy route in your life, there's potential where it won't be as much of a fulfilled life. you know, like, I mean, that's a broad statement, but I think that... One says broad ideas. I think that in doing the hard, in my own experience when I do the hard, there's always a much greater reward than if you just escape by. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

I mean, yeah. That also seems like a pretty mentally tough situation for you to be in Olivia where, like, you have these residents. but you also want to help your brother and be there for him. It's really rough. But then also have to be conscious of that and what's going on. Right, because then you're like, well, what is the line between helping and enabling and, you know, like how much of it is really in my control at all, right? And so it's like you can offer help, but, you know, even with working with people, it's like you can only offer what you have in your toolbox.

And a lot of times even offering that to people, they're going to choose their comfort zone, even if their comfort zone is struggle or misery. It's what they know. So they're going to choose that because it's the gravitational pull. Mm-hmm. Right. So how in your life have you gone against the gravitational pull and made change? I mean, I left home. That was mine.

I never saw myself leaving Chicago and wanted to stay there. And then when we decided to move out west, it was an uncomfortable decision and a hard decision, but ultimately one of the better decisions that I made. If not the best, career-wise, for sure. Yeah. And I think what I ultimately told myself was, well, this doesn't work. I can come back.

Like, it doesn't have to be permanent. So do you think that's necessary for people to do things that make them that uncomfortable? I think like what Rachel said, I think that allowed me to feel more fulfilled and kind of experience things differently than I knew. Like, just widened my mindset and what the way. world was. Right. If I was still back in Chicago, I'd feel like I know what my life may have been like and they have been more narrowed than it is now, or would have definitely been. So do you think you've hit a new comfort zone? And if so, do you continue to look for ways to get out of it and stretch yourself? Or do you think it's okay to be in comfort zones? I know that everything in my life

starts going better when I get out of my comfort zone. Like, it's just been proven every time. So do you look for ways to get out of your comfort zone or just the universe provide it? How does that work? I don't think I look for it. You know, I think things just present themselves. And in the past, I will say, like, I definitely wouldn't have taken that route. But now I'm like, okay.

Right, you're more welcoming to it. Just because you tell me I have to be. Oh. What about you, Rob? I constantly like changing things. I mean, that's why our house has been under instruction for little projects. Like, you had it remodeled and you're doing it again. Yeah.

What? And I mean... You are? Yeah. Even just like apartments and bedrooms, I like to always just like, I'm going to change this up and we're going to shuffle around the furniture. And I mean, I think part of that is just time moves. differently when you're in a comfortable space versus a new surrounding.

Like your brain is more engaged in and taking in things differently at a different pace when you're in a new environment. It's like why when you're on vacation, the first three days seem slower and you're taking everything in. But then by the end of it, it starts going by fast because you're kind of in this same environment. Do you do this when you go on vacation? do you constantly like, okay, I have three days left, okay, I have to, like, that's Jeff, that's Virgo. Yeah, yeah. It's Virgo? I don't.

It's like, why do I do that? Yeah, I do that. You do? He'll literally say them out, too. He'll be like, so we have two nights, one day. Da-la-da-da-da. If you break it down, it's like a constant numbers game. Hmm.

And I'm not good with numbers. You do that, Rachel? Yeah. But Olivia, you do not. No. I don't break it down like, okay, and then we're going to do this, this, this. No, not that. It's the numbers. Yeah. And you know what else I do when I go on a trip? The first day I get there, I'm like,

okay, I can go home now. Like, it's like an instant thing in my brain where I'm like, I traveled here. Okay, I can travel right back home. Huh? Yeah, I don't know. Like you want to? Yeah. But then I'm fine once I settle in. I don't know. It's weird. Maybe I just don't like to leave my house. I remember we went on a trip when we were like 20 years old, about 20 of us to Okopoko. and me, Rachel, and Leah, we all got there and we were the only ones who did this. We all got really homesick and went back to the hotel room because we all wanted to call our moms because we felt so far away and we all three of us called our moms and cried. What?

Yeah. I don't remember that. I may I remember our trip, but I don't remember that moment. How quickly on trips do you guys want to get home? Like, I guess Rachel, you just said immediately. But then I'm fine. It's just like that first thought. I do like the feeling though when you do return home after a trip.

Always. I'm like, oh, now I can settle back in. And it feels comfortable again. I used always love seeing the lights of L.A. Like flying in as a kid. Like, I'm home and that was home. I never flew as a kid. I really didn't.

Did you? Experience flying as a kid? Yeah. We didn't fly. Yeah, there's too many of us. There was always like Midwest minivan trips to Civil War sites. Tell you all about Antietam and Gettysburg. Aw.

Wow. That's amazing. I didn't fly for the first time until I was 16. That's crazy. Really? Yeah. I mean, I know it's common. But.

Yeah, I think I remember me and my brother flew once when we were like little. and that was, I think, my first flight. Yeah, we didn't really fly around. I remember being like seven years old and I did one way from my grandparents who were in Philly home by myself. Ooh. Like, you know, they walk you to the plane and like... Yeah, that's what I mean? Me and my brother did that.

Oh, by yourselves, you did it? What? I don't even know. Do they, I guess they still do that, but isn't that crazy? I can't imagine. Maybe I was a little older. I don't know. Yeah, we were like maybe 12.

I should ask my mom. Do they have like a chaperone or anything? Yeah, you've got like an... Like a, yeah, an escort, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hmm. I remember loving it because they treat you like the best ever because you're a kid alone. Yeah.

I haven't asked my mom how old I was. Should I call her? Oh, God. And the first flight I took was not even with my family. It was my boyfriend at the Times family. Really? Where'd you go? To Vegas.

They got us our own hotel room at 16. Now looking back, I'm like, I don't get that. Like, I won't do that, though. My boyfriend at 16 would like stay with me in my room. Me too. You know. And mine lived with me. Yeah.

What does that say? I don't know. Said we as single moms. That's what it says. Were you guys both the oldest though? Nope. Youngest. Youngest.

Both of us. They were tired. Yeah. That's how my sister had her like older boyfriend that was allowed to stay over. When she was 16. Really? Oh wow. I'm surprised.

She had a room in the basement. Okay. Part of it was she was going to do whatever she wanted anyways. So my parents were like, well, at least it'll be under our roof. Speaking of that, we heard a story recently because you know these fentanyl overdoses going on everywhere. That now parents are buying their kids the drugs so that they can make sure to test them. so that the kids aren't getting laced. I think it was marijuana, they said, which is different than buying them, you know.

Cills and cocaine. Oh, my God. What do you think about that? When I heard that, I had really mixed feelings. I'm very curious what you guys think. There was cocaine in my dream last night, and they feel like you were doing it. And I wouldn't do it. Sorry, side note.

Disgusting. I want to know what your guys' thoughts on when your kids are old enough. Like, would you buy them weed? so that they don't get laced or would you... Is weed laced with fentanyl? Hell yeah. It is. Everything's laced with fentanyl right now.

I thought it was just like... So they could go into a dispensary, pick out the things, they know their kids are going to smoke it eventually. So dispensaries are safe. Is that accurate? I'm not making any claims. I don't know.

I don't know either. I'm like, where am I going to buy this weed? That's what I want to know. I don't know. But it speaks to like having a very open dialogue with your children so things aren't hidden so you can have the conversations, you know, that kind of thing. Like, I'm a believer in that.

You know, if they're like teenagers and they want to try a beer, like I'd rather them be home and sleeping there and you know about it so everyone's safe. You know what I'm saying? I do have mixed feelings. I don't know how I feel. Yeah. I mean, I think. I'm talking like 17.

Like they're going to try a beer. I'd rather them be home. Here's where my mind goes. of like being the house that the kid can drink at. I think, well... That's not what I was saying, though. That's not like a statement like... You mean to try a beer?

Yeah, I'm just saying like if... Right. But here's where my mind goes is, well, they're going to want to do it with their friends. Mm-hmm. So... Then you're liable? Then you're liable.

Right. Yeah. And if they're trying beer, then maybe they're going to want to try smoking pot and then they want to do Molly. I mean, pot, I'm like, whatever, but, but pot nowadays can be laced too. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Let's roll play. Briar and Elliott, both are, uh, 15, 16. And drugs are entering the equation of their social circles. Let's up them to like 19, 20. Yeah. Let's up them to 42. There needs to be an element of this where they're still living in your house and not adults.

And you don't, you don't. want them to go to some high school party and try it? Like, what's your conversation or relationship with drug use or alcohol and like, is there a line that you're going to draw? Are you going to have that conversation with them? What does that look like? I think the conversation for me, like, the most important thing is like, if you're at a party and, you know, there's alcohol and you partake, no matter what, no matter where, no matter when, you always can call mom to come get you. I think that is the bigger teenage, drunk driving, whatever, right? The drug thing I haven't wrapped my head around.

But I know as far as drinking goes, like that open dialogue is like, you always call me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I did that with the girls I nannied. And I remember just being like, no matter what, if you're in a situation where you don't feel safe, you can always call me. And one time they did. And she was like, I need you to pick me up.

I'm really drunk. And I did. And then I was like, do I tell her? parents. Do I just, you know what I mean? Right. But you just did. No. They're older now.

So since Jeff's a doctor, are you guys pretty aligned with drug use and, for example, Natalie in high school was like much more into drugs and alcohol than I was. I didn't drink until I was 21. Right. So her views on it as a parent are so much different than mine. Do you have that with Jeff? Ours are different, but he's more loose than I am, actually. I'm the one that's really... But I also think it's because of my lineage that I just feel like it runs in every human.

Your stakes feel higher. They feel really high. and he's more like, he's got like a more open-handed approach. I want to tell them you can never ever do drugs, not a pill, not a Coke, not nothing, you'll die. That's kind of my view, my view as well. But I also know that's not super rational or realistic to expect from a kid. I know. Or teenager.

I feel like maybe I need to like low-key hypnotize them. I don't know. Breyer asks permission to do absolutely everything. Like, even at a party, like, Mom, can I go on the trampoline? You know, so I don't think she's going to be, like, spearheading. She'll never have a rebellious phase. Yeah, I'm sure there'll be times. But I just mean, like, I don't think she's going to spearhead. Like, let's go do this.

Yeah. I don't like this conversation. That's why it's good. It's an uncomfortable conversation. It's an uncomfortable. We're out of our comfort zone. Yeah. But that did.

up the other day and I was like, ooh, I don't know how I feel. But I don't want them to feel like they can't tell me anything. Right. Right. So you can't be so. I know. It's hard for me though. I want to be really strict. I know. I really do. Well, because of what we did when we were young. Yeah. It's a miracle that everything's okay. Part of it seems hypocritical though as well. That's like part of it for me is like, well, I did that. And now I'm going to be. Now I'm going to go tell my kid that he can't. I mean, this isn't for drugs, but like lighting things on fire. It is hypocritical. But the thing is, is that don't we kind of rely on our elders to show us through their mistakes? Like, I ditched school all the time. That's not going to be allowed for my kids.

But I knew my parents would tell me no from it. I knew they wouldn't want me to do any of those things. and I did it anyways. So I don't know what me saying to my kid will get through them. I don't know that my parents ever admitted that they did that, though, or gave me a real-life experience from it. So I don't know if maybe that would have made me trust their opinion on it more. Did your parents, like, party and all that stuff? No.

No. No. Were they pretty square? Yeah. Clean? Yep. Yeah. They don't. They never drank.

That's great. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. Well, they kept you guys out of trouble. You didn't drink until you were 21. Yeah. So, I don't know. What about your parents, Rachel?

Like, what was their conversation around? Because I feel like if any of our parents between the three of us are more like we would probably want a parent. Our kids now, it was your mom. Well. being open to certain things and being like you can experiment honey but make sure you're doing it safely what was yeah that for sure is positive but then again she was a single mom and I think there was a lot of turning a blind eye to things you know and I get that I do and it's not easy um I don't know you went off you went off the rails at some point yeah I didn't go off the rails but you know neither one of my parents are addicts neither one of them drink a lot there's a lot of their pot sure Your mom would talk to you about it. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. Right. That resulted in your relationship with drugs and alcohol being what it was. Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't have an addictive personality, so I can't say that if I did and that was a situation, that it wouldn't have gone a different way. That's true. But are you fine with your kid having that same experience with drugs and alcohol, given your parenting style of being similar to what your mom... It felt a lot safer.

Like, I didn't have to hide anything. So I do believe in that. route. Yeah. You know. See, I feel like I would be fine with the things as they used to be. But the problem is, now they all have fentanyl. They could be laced with fentanyl. Yeah, you don't know. It's not safe out there. That's the moral of the story. What sounds like the three of us want to kind of model that same. Olivia doesn't necessarily. She's like, it's a hard no. No, I think that. She wants, she wants her kid to feel comfortable coming to her. I want the trust, I want the open dialogue.

I think that is really important. And I think that I benefited from it, I'd like to say. I'll put that out there, I think, you know? And I felt safe to do it at home, so I wasn't out. I mean, there were times where I was out doing things. But I, you know, just felt a little safer, I guess. Can you do me a favor and sing the Kiss Me song? Are you going to walk down in a dress, put me down the stairs?

We almost did. this for our rom-com I know. We almost paid a much. We should have done more for this release. Well, we didn't have time. Oh, for Rachel's, yeah. I love her.

I do. You know, we should go out with her. She's great. She was awesome. Yeah, I just, I really loved her, and I loved our conversation, and I loved how open she was. She's our kind of girl.

You know, I would have liked to get her opinion on talking to her about the open dialogue with children. She, too, is a single. mom. Do you want to take us out with the song? Kiss me beneath the milky twilight, right? Mm-hmm. I can't remember the lyrics. The moonlit floor.

Yeah. That's it, guys. That's all she wrote. Thank you for listening. You got to do the part where you wear the shoes and I will wear that dress. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But it's like not in my head. like the tune.

It's fine. We tried. We tried, guys. No one can do it like them. All right. Thanks for listening. Come back, be sure and come back next week. Bye.

Bye. That was a headgum podcast.