Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Rachel Bloom on Skepticism, Death, and French Fries

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Rachel Bloom (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Robot Chicken) joins Rachel and Olivia today to discuss her journey of balancing skepticism with a desire to believe, her passion for all things potato, and her new Netflix special, Death, Let Me Do My Special, now available for streaming.Broad Ideas is sponsored by Skims Fit Everybody collection, shop now at SKIMS.com.  After you place your order be sure to select "podcast" and be sure to select Broad Ideas in the dropdown menu that follows.Broad Ideas is sponsored by IQBAR is offering our special podcast listeners twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus get FREE shipping. To get your twenty percent off, just text IDEAS to sixty-four thousand.Broad Ideas is sponsored by Posh Peanut. Go to postpeanut.com/broad and use promo code BROAD for 20% off your first order.Broad Ideas is sponsored by Quince, Go to quince.com/ideas  for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Broad Ideas is sponsored by Article. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more, visit ARTICLE.COM/BROAD and the discount will be automatically applied at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max or, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas. You're in Rob's chair. I am Rob.

We don't have Rob. Where is he? He's taking pictures of preschoolers? That sounds really weird. Yeah. He's doing Vincent's school photos for his class. That's right. Yeah.

Whatever. Whatever. It's us. We have Rachel Bloom today. She has her Netflix special that is out. Dad. You do my special. Let me do my special.

She was such a joy to speak with. We had a great conversation, and now you guys get to be in on it. Let's welcome Rachel. Sometimes when the work inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside, to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and down. Kids and things

We'll talk about chicks And tampon strings We'll talk about boys Better me Because people die Um Cheeseburger Do you put the fries in the cheeseburger?

No, but now I want to. Do you get the onions and the pickles and everything? Do you do the whole thing? Yeah. You get it how it comes. Yeah, I get it how it's... Which is no... I don't like raw tomatoes

But it doesn't come with tomatoes No, it doesn't want it. No, no. Because that would... That would destroy it. Yeah. No, it would destroy it. This is the...

kind of shit we care about. This is what we care about most in life, by the way. Yeah. Like, what else is there? They did the jack-in-the-box french fry as well. Oh, that was really good. Their taco was really good. The french-fried taco was good. I mean, the French-fried taco? Hello. The jack-in-the-box taco? I'm fine, really. Taco was really good. Yeah, they did a, um, I've been so many times. Why am I not remembering? There was some sort of chicken sandwich that was good. What was that? Was it jack-in-the-box? I don't remember. I didn't have that one.

Not at that thing we were at. I don't know. What do they have the thing we were at? They had fries. The fries were excellent. I'm hungry. I know. I think we're just hungry.

So we just want to talk about food. Yep. Did you know that fries are the worst thing that you can eat? And we eat on weekly. I'm not surprised. Like, I'm like, there's got to be worse. Like anything worse? No.

Why? The oil in which they're cooked. She decided to tell me this, by the way, while we were at, a county fair, like, proceeded to tell me why French fries are the worst thing for you while we're at a county fair where I want them with flaming hot chitos on them. Yeah, well, you're going to still get them. But like, some huge health guy was like, if you were, if you were offered a pack of cigarettes or French fries, what would you choose? And he said a pack of cigarettes because the- Like a whole pack of cigarettes at once versus the price.

I mean Because it stays in the arteries Whereas cigarettes You metabolize them And at least the nicotine has some sort of effect We can introduce you Welcome I was going to say

Are we recording? Yeah, we're recording This is just kind of how we roll It's just You know, we get into it Like cheeseburgers, french fries, cigarettes, all of it Rachel did get mad though Because she was like

You're saying that in front of my daughter I'm like, she's not going to care. I'm like definitely the parent that's more less information, just because my kid's so sensitive. Sure. She'll be like, am I going to die? Like if I eat whatever. So that's, I err on that side. I can eat the food knowing it's cognitive dissonance, right?

Me too. You eat it knowing it's bad for you, but you're like, it's such comfort food. You kind of don't care. I also don't eat it every day. Right. So it's not. A pack of cigarettes. versus French fries? He picked a pack of cigarettes. I eat a lot of French fries. I'm not going to lie. I really like them. Dipped in ranch. Oh, yeah. My four-year-old loves French fries. I can't take them away. I don't. Knowing it, I still don't take it away. I don't, I don't like in and out. I don't like in and out. I don't like in and out. I don't like in and out. They're too potato-y. They're a real potato. You know what? Neither do I. I. I like McDonald's. I like skinny. 100%. I like greasy, salty. Yeah. They're too potatoe. It tastes like I mean. They're a real potato.

If I want a potato, I'll eat a baked potato. Right. Do not give me a real potato and a fry. How do you feel about baked potatoes? I love baked potatoes. And I should say, by the way, I'm getting over a cold so my voice doesn't usually sound like this. That's the musical theater kid in me. Yeah.

Who's like, I'm in an audition. It's like, just to let you know I was sick two weeks ago. Right. I think it's sexy. I always love a sick voice. Like when I was a kid, I always did my outgoing voicemail when I was sick because I like how it sounded. That's so high-rich. home. When we used to do that, like, hey, can't come to the phone right now. Well, that's also very

SoCal, like, because I grew up in Southern California and I was like very not cool, but I would, like, definitely put on a vocal fry just to sound like cool. And like, I went into college with vocal problems because I had artificially been lowering my voice kind of to sound like this. But, you know, it's really, it's really sexy. What were we talking about? I know. We're talking about baked potatoes. Oh,

so I love baked potatoes. I love baked potatoes and I love mashed potatoes. And my friend at his wedding had a mashed potato bar. And I'm still thinking about it. And it's been 12 years. Mashed regular potatoes with other. Yeah. Mashed potatoes with chives.

Mashed sweet potatoes. Mashed sweet potatoes with brown sugar or marshmallows. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. My favorite thing that's ever been at a wedding. That is. still ask him about it.

That is actually incredible. What do you ask him about it? Do you remember the mashed potato? Okay. And actually he didn't get to try any. He and his wife didn't get because they were so busy. Oh, you don't eat at your wedding. And I was like, no, no, it was the best wedding I've ever been to because of the mashed potatoes.

But like how did it stay hot? Was it in like the tin, like shaving? It was the part. It was like cocktail hour of the wedding. You know some weddings do the cocktail hours where the food is better there. So they had this unbelievable pre-wedding. Or no, I guess between ceremony and dinner cocktail hour, amazing setups. I want to say they had a pasta station, they had sushi, whatever.

Yeah. Mashed potatoes. It was a dream. That is a dream. That is. I am really into it. But I don't like the fries. If you're going to give me a potato, give me a potato.

If you're going to give me fries, I don't want to know the fries came from a potato. Yeah. I want it to taste salty, 100% artificial. There's nothing better than a McDonald's fry. Nothing. Nothing. It reigns king. Here's the thing, though.

Do you like the soggy ones or the crispy ones? Soggy. Oh. We'd be good friends because I like the crispy so then you can share. So our other best friend likes the soggy and I like the more crispy, so we always shared fry as well. Yeah. I love the soaked grease. Oh, she does?

Yeah. Sopped and grease. I like the combo. But do you take mashed potato over baked potato? This is the hardest question I've ever been asked in my life. You know, we hit hard here. With a heavy heart, I'm going to say, yeah. Yeah.

Mashed. You know, I don't like to delve into controversy. But it's time that I took a stand in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to choose a mashed potato, like a buttery mat. Now, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a, chunky under butter mashed potato.

No, no. Over like a really sour creamy baked. That's a conversation. That's a conversation. These are the important things in life. Yeah. It solves everything. What would you choose?

Mashed or baked potato? Yeah. I'm going to throw another thing out there. There's nothing I like more. Well, twice baked potato. We're really talking. I love a broccoli. Cheese baked potato.

Oh, sure. Yeah, no one's mad at that. No, but like that, I would choose over. Do you put sour cream on it, though? With the broccoli cheese? Yeah. No. I really like the sour cream on the baked potato with the salt.

So you would go bake potato. Well, I basically like, I mash it all, so it's basically like I've created a kind of soup bread bowl. Yeah. But it's the potato skin is the bread bowl. Yeah. So I pre, I almost make a mashed potato in your baked potato. Baked potato. That's sexy.

You know what? I like that. I'm going to do that. 100%. When I was pregnant, that was my craving food was baked potatoes with sour cream and then I would just pour A1 on them. Oh, wow. That's a pregnancy move. How was your pregnancy?

Yeah, tell us what your cravings were. I give it 6040, 60% positive. I was nauseous for a lot of the time. I never threw up. I don't throw up easily, but I was nauseous. Cravings are interesting. It was, in retrospect, I totally had cravings. At the time, it felt like I was so hungry and there was only one food I could tolerate,

which was turkey sandwiches. And turkey is a hard thing when you're pregnant. I couldn't do turkey. The cold cut turkey, a turkey and cheese sandwich with mustard. Yeah. It was all I could stomach. Did you, were you the type that, like, heated the cold cuts to, like, potentially kill the bacteria? No.

Do not worry about it. You just ate the turkey. I just ate the turkey. Great. Because also my doctor had said I asked about cold cuts and she said the real thing is Listeria from vegetables. Oh. So I was like washing my vegetables. Yeah.

I say that as if I eat a lot of vegetables. I was watching. I have a garden and so I was what? No. So that was, I was more mindful of that. But she, I mean, she was like you can eat sushi. Just don't eat the mercury fish. So like I eat salmon but not tuna.

Yeah. I like that. I like the more relaxed approach because I feel like there's so many warnings and fear-based shit. I feel like it switched right after we had our first kids, though. Oh, really? Yeah, because I remember when I was pregnant with Elliot, he's nine now, they were like, no deli meat. And then by the time I was pregnant with Shepherd, they were like, eat whatever you want. My doctor told me that if you were to get salmonella or food poisoning from sushi, you'll be really sick, but the baby will be fine.

It's right. It's that listeria is what fucks up a fetus. Who knows? I got so sick stomach bug when I was pregnant. Oh. Like five months pregnant. And I remember going to the hospital because like really sick. Like needed, you know, whatever. And the doctor there being like, well, it could go either way. Like that was there. What do you mean? Like the baby might die? Like you're so sick like it could go either way. And I was like, what? Like, what the fuck? That is not chill.

No. Doctors are weirdly casual because they see such fucked up shit all the time, though. Yeah. Like, my husband's uncle's a doctor. And I was texting him questions and he was like, we were talking about yearly colonoscopies or whatever. Because this is what I like to get into. And he's like, oh, I haven't had a colonoscopy in 25 years. I'm like, what?

And he's like, eh, it's fine. Doctors, I don't know, they're so hardened and they also care so little about their own health. Yeah. Her husband's a doctor. What kind of doctor? Family medicine trained now longevity. But like he used to work in an ER. He desensitized.

Like there's no. No. That's my dream. Yeah, he's like, I've seen so many. To be desensitized? No, no, no, no, no. My dream. Well, first of all, like, there was a part of me as a kid that wanted to be a doctor.

Yeah. I love surgery. Huh. Gross body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, do you watch all those shows? I used to. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And then, ever since I've had a kid, I'm less tolerant of gore. It really has messed with my brain in so many ways. But, and then I'm also not a hypochondriac, but I'm mindful of health. And so I, having a doctor around to ask questions all the time is my dream. No, it's awful. you don't get anything you get no sympathy you get no answers right you get you get shut down right

because it'll be like why are you going there you know where as a normal person or not that they're not normal but like a typical person that doesn't have the information will be like oh your neck is cramping like what's going on he'll be like really you're fine it's a neck cramp but you don't know that. But he does. Right. But that's nice. Until it's not.

Right, right. Until then you go, is this okay? And he goes, yeah, it's fine, it's fine. And then he goes, pack the car, we're going to the hospital. And then you're like, whoa, the fuck. Right. So it's not as comforting as people would think. And they don't have the tolerance for your questions.

Right. At all. And that's your husband who's supposed to love you. Supposed to you. I tell them that every day. You're supposed to love. Love me. But the, okay, so here's what gets me is like, so heart disease is the number one killer

of women. And do you know, the way it manifests in women is not chest pain? Yeah. It manifests as overall sickness. You feel like you have a flu because our bodies are meant to withstand pain because of childbirth. What the fuck? So how the fuck do you know if you have a flu or heart disease?

Or if you're about to die of a heart attack. What the fuck? Yeah. It's really messed up. See, I think we're better off not knowing that information. Yeah, no. But at the end of the day, if I had someone around who's going to say... He's going to say it's the flu.

And then you drop dead. And then you dropped dead and he's going to say goodbye. And he's going to say, you know. Well, he does, here's the one thing that is maybe a little helpful is he does on my labs every six months. Takes me to get full body scans. Oh, that's interesting that he's pro that because a lot of. of doctors are like, don't do the full body scan because you'll find something and then you'll go down a rabbit hole and chances are it's nothing. He just saved someone's life this week, found

brain tumor. So he's pro the full body scan. Where did you go? Was it that, what is it, prenuvo? It wasn't pernuvo. But that's where people are going to pernuvo. We went to, I don't know, it was like Beverly Hills Imogene or something like that. But the cool thing is, is that he is finding stuff in people that can save their lives. So like maybe they'd be able to tell if there's a heart thing before you drop dead. Okay. I don't know. I always am like, am I dead?

Am I like alive? And he's like, you have a cold. But it's, they say that was such authority. Yeah. And like, but what's the difference between that they, they know the things. They know a magic language. But here's the thing. they're always doing the math.

Yeah. And that's what I had to learn because I have a kid that was in NICU for 30 days. Oh my God. Oh, my daughter was in the NICU, but for really days. It's not fun. What happened? Well, I talk about it in my Netflix special. Oh!

No, she was born with something called TTN, which is fluid in your lungs. So, but it's a whole thing where I gave birth in late March 2020. So it was COVID. It's, it's based. I mean, the long story short is I had a normal pregnancy, gave birth, she's in the NICU. It was as COVID was getting bad. And the rules in the hospital were changing as she was in the NICU. And then the kind of side note, the worst part of it is my writing partner, my songwriting partner, the night I gave birth.

I found out he had COVID and was on a ventilator. And then he died of COVID a week after I gave birth. Oh my God. Rachel, which is the kind of not to bring everyone down. But that's why I have a show about, that's why I'm doing the rounds promoting a thing about death. Yeah. That's what it is. That's what it's about.

I know. Oh my God. It always brings everything down. There's no casual. No, but it's no. But that's, but that's, but like, so I mean, the way that I view life and death has changed since that. I'm sure. I was always kind of hypochondriical.

but that experience has made me very aware. Yeah. But 30 days is a long time in the NICU. What did your kid have? He has a chromosome syndrome. So he had lung issues and all the stuff. But when you're with a doctor, they're doing the math that you don't know they're doing.

So when they give you the answer, it's not that they didn't think of all the things. They thought of all the things. And then they're like, here's all you need to know. It's a cold. It's a quote. But they weighed. Could this be a heart thing?

Yeah, because then if I'm like, speak it out loud, he'll say the things. And then you're like, okay, that's helpful. Now I know why you came to that conclusion. Right? But it's probably, it's like show your work in math or it's like, show your work. So I really have to show you the long division. That's what he's saying. I don't need to show my work.

Right. Can we circle back? Boy, really quickly. Yes. Because it was so funny when I was, I was in. Italy. I was in Italy. That's the story. That's it. I've been to Italy. My time here is over. I was in Italy and I got in like a scooter accident. I was fine. Like a Vespa? Like a Vespa accident. I was riding with my friend who said who I thought she knew how to ride a Vespa and then made way through the

ride. She went, oh, this is my first time. Oh my God. I'm in Italy too. We crashed. We fell. Her face was all fucked up. My tits saved my face. I fell all my tits. Hey. I fell all my stomach. I wasn't pregnant. Thank God. Oh my God. But as I'm in, I'm in an ambulance. I'm in an Italian ambulance. And I remembered an episode of ER. No stop. That I'd seen as a kid where a woman had been in a car accident and seemed fine, but then died of internal bleeding. Oh, Jesus. So I was calling my Oh my God. Husband's uncle being like, am I going to bleed out? And they spoke Italian, the ambulance person was speaking Italian.

So I kept trying to say to them like, internal bleeding. Internal bleeding. Check for internal. I was like, ER. Have you seen ER? And what my husband's uncle made me realize is, oh, no, they were taking all the vitals that you would know. If there was bleeding, it's just they couldn't explain because they were Italian. They were also probably like this idiot American in another Vesp accident.

I hate these people. Right. Stay out of my country. Well, that's the thing is that they're like, we're not new. Like, they know they're checking for internal bleeding. Yes. But we watch House or ER or any of these things that were like, have you thought of? And they're like, have you gone to school for this?

Or WebMD or Reddit. Yeah. Oh, God. All of it. Oh. I think it's the worst thing you can do is Google any ailment. And it's hard not to. It's absolutely hard.

I do it every time. I've been taking off Google like a drug addict. Yeah. Like you are not allowed on your phone to Google. But you live with a Google. You live with a Google. He's like, ask me, don't ask the internet because you're only going to get the worst case scenarios.

People aren't sitting there all day writing about benign things. Right. You know? Right. So that's, you know, it's informative. That's a good point. No one's doing that. That no one is going on the subret and being like, update.

It was just a speck of dirt. Never. They just forget that they posted on Reddit. Support comes from skims. Oh. Yeah. We love skims. I'm going to tell you guys about my underwear.

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You guys, so this is bringing me back. Like, you're talking about the death and the life. I was listening to this book. Have you listened or read signs? No. I think you have to. Well, it's not the M. Knight-Chamelon movie, right? Yes, it is.

It's the novelization of the M-N-N-A-Cham-Lum. It's just something's telling me you need to hear. No, it's a book by Laura Lynn Jackson about communication from the other side when you lose someone. So it's really interesting because so a big part, because I know on this podcast you're witchy and you talk about those and stuff. So something I went through when I talk about it in the special, but also it's something I've thought about a lot is I've always been very torn between two parts of myself, the part of me that's really interested in the unexplained. Like I got a book when I was 10 for my grandparents called Mysteries of the Unexplained, which is all about ghosts, aliens, alyester Crowley, all of that stuff. And I was like very witchy.

And then when I was about 21 or 22, I became an atheist. And I got really into skepticism. And it made me a better person for many reasons. So I have these two split aspects of myself that is really interested. in witchy stuff and is also very skeptical of it. And so when my friend died, because there were a couple other people who then died in 2020, I've had numerous experiences going to a psychic to mostly negative results. And the thing that I want, because, so basically where I'm at is I'm desperate for there

to be something more, but I need proof. For sure. And so far nothing has manifested that has given me proof so I remain a skeptic. But I would love for their

I'm like an atheist who doesn't want to be an atheist. I just need evidence but I'm sincerely open to it and basically I went to this one psychic to try to talk to Adam and

um she's She was saying stuff that sounded like him, but I had tried to go to her under a fake name. We have mutual friends. But my real email came through the PayPal, so she knew exactly who I wanted to talk to. So she started saying stuff that sounded like Adam. But I realized, like, she could have looked at videos of him. Right.

And there's a whole, it's really, there's a whole interesting study of psychics they did out of Yale that. Sure. Yeah, no, this is so fast. Yeah. So, so anyway, because I'm really. interested in this stuff. So basically there, I think it's Yale, there was a study where they were studying hallucinating and they found people who say that they have psychic abilities and basically the parts of their brain that light up when they're channeling, hearing voices, are the same that

light up when people are having hallucinations under schizophrenia. So there's this, is it a theory or it's kind of one possibility is people who are psychic aren't hucksters. They are hearing stuff, but they're having basically non-mental illness hallucinations. It's almost like you're dreaming while awake. Okay. And when I was a kid, I used to have this thing, I think it's called sleep hypnogia, it's pronounced, where I would open my eyes after a dream and I'd still see the dream in front of me, and it looked like a ghost. But I knew it was a dream because it was this dream I was having. And then I'd do this and it would go away. But I had that experience as a kid of hearing things and seeing things that weren't there.

So I know that your brain can do that. So anyway, my theory with this psychic is that she knew who I wanted to talk to. She probably went online, looked at some interviews. And then her brain, not on purpose, potentially. Her brain then, like your subconscious, almost like a computer, like got all that information. digested it and then the voices she heard back were her brain being like well if this is true this guy would say this

and this guy would say this because I then went back to her for yet another friend who died and it was a completely different experience because she didn't and I was very vague I wasn't like mean about it but I was like I want to talk to a friend who died too young and that's all I told her and it was not a good reading.

But with Adam, it was a very good reading, but she knew who I wanted to talk to. Right. And then I went to another psychic recently. I'm actually really open to going to psychics. Clearly. No, yeah. Because I wanted to be true.

Right. I went to another psychic recently who, this was more of a like, a friend of a friend has realized she's a psychic medium, which is a whole other story. I want all of these. Yeah. But she was like, I was like, I'm skeptical.

I love you, but I'm skeptical about this. And she was like, go to this woman's woman's amazing. I zoomed with this woman. Mm-hmm. It was terrible. I mean, it was a terrible, it was terrible reading. I was, oh, and I was open, but like,

it was the definition of a psychic cold read where she was like, so I told her a fake name. Mm-hmm. And it's a name that sounds like very, it was like Stephanie Smith or something. thing. So she went, okay, so I'm getting a name, G, George, George, George, Ginger, Ginger, there's something like a strong male name George, Justin, and I went, no, no, no, no. And she was like, okay, I'm getting a D, D, D, and it's like, oh, she thought this woman's name was Stephanie Smith.

So she's going, all right, well, this woman sounds kind of like generic American waspie. she probably comes from a family that's like George she was picking all of these very kind of Americana names and I'm Jewish right so but I didn't give her any my real name or any information and at one point she was trying to I know do what psychics do which is cold read which is when they get information from you to be like is there anyone in your life who's passed away with a J anywhere from an A

through a J name and I was like I don't know it depends who it is and she went, okay, listen, I can't read your mind. Yep. What? Yeah. What? So then she finally hit on, she went, L, L, L, L, is there? And this is like after 10 minutes.

She goes, is there a Lily? And I go. You guys were playing wheel a question. And I go, she goes, is there a Lily? And I go, I mean, my husband's grandmother was named Lily. Yeah. So I spoke to my fucking husband's grandparents for 20 minutes about nothing. By the way, got no insights on his family.

and it was nothing specific. And by the way, like, my husband's grandparents are all Holocaust survivors. Wow. So there are very specific, easy things they could say to let me know it was them. There was nothing about that. Right. So I spend 25 minutes talking to her vaguely.

And then I go, can we get back to my family? No, I don't really care. So it was terrible. So I have not had anything yet where. You haven't had. Okay. I do want it to be true. And look, if we believe in energy,

maybe I'm giving off a blocked energy, but like, I like to think I'm open. I want this to be true. Yeah, but you keep going. You can't be giving that blocks of an energy and show up at the same time. I try to give a very non-judgmental energy, and especially because like where I'm at as a skeptic is the skeptic atheist vibe is very male typically. It's very much guys being like, that's not true. All this stuff that women want to do with the moon, it's bullshit, right?

But I know how much women's health has been ignored for thousands of years. And so oftentimes healers, midwives, that's the only health you had as a woman who would take your pain seriously. And my friend Rina Raphael wrote this amazing book called The Gospel of Wellness. That's a book about, it's wonderful. And it's a book kind of demystifying and, you know, getting into like the goop world and like what's true, what's not. but it's very compassionate because it's like, look, at the end of the day, women are overworked and we're confused. And we have a lot of questions about our bodies and our hormones. This is all coming from an understandable place as opposed to, I think, a very male, like,

this is all dumb and bullshit. If you believe this, you're an idiot. So, like, I'm very understanding and open to things that don't have proof. I would say alternative ways of believing. Right. But also, at the end of the day, feelings aren't facts. Right. And that's something I've had a lot of issues with my mental health. To be vague, let's just say I was in an environment as a child where feelings were facts. And that's been a journey of mine to get past that.

And so at the end of the day, feelings aren't facts. I want to get to the facts. That helps ground me as a person. It makes me a better person. when I ground myself in what's true, what's not true. But I'm kind of split. So it basically makes me non-judgmental, but I don't let go of my critical thinking skills.

I think that's healthy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I'm out there in the woo-woo world, but the only reason I am is for quantifiable reasons, right? Like if I can make it make sense, I still need that so desperately. Like I still need the evidence. I need the facts. I need to understand why. And even when I hear what you're explaining in the brain, that's just where it ignites. Right. So it's like the same thing is the feeling and the sense of deja vu when they've studied it is the same as a seizure.

So interesting. Right. And so it's like, yeah, it is. However, that's just where it ignites in the brain. brain. It doesn't really explain anything. Totally. And that's why a lot of psychics actually participated in this study is the study doesn't say even what I said, which is like, actually, you're just having hallucinations. All the study said is... It's the same area of the brain. It's the same area of the brain. That's all it said. Right. And it's kind of like non-judgmental, leave it open to your own interpretations. But totally, like, I talked to one of the psychics I talked to, I was like, so how does this all work? And she's like, look, it's like the internet.

There's Wi-Fi with the spiritual world and your brain is the hardware. If your phone breaks, it doesn't mean the internet is gone. It just means your phone breaks, but there's still Wi-Fi. And that's how she compared, like, the spirit world. I thought that was really interesting. I was like, oh, I would love that to be true. That would be amazing.

Right. I just haven't yet seen any. even anecdotal proof that it's true. I do have a question for you on your writing. Yeah. So have you ever felt the sensation? The only way there's certain work that I do that I can explain is I have nothing to do with it and I know that. Because my brain doesn't actually know where it comes from.

So if I'm helping someone with a problem, things will come through me where I'm like, where the fuck that came from, right? So in your writing, in your comedy, in everything that you've created thus far, can you really take responsibility for that? Or is there a certain place that you're more open than other people that's clicked into that channel? I think when I was first writing, yes, my writing would be very based on inspiration. And it's, and it's, It's why I did a lot of my best work like in the shower or like on a walk. And it feels like it's not coming from you, right? Correct.

And I still have those moments. And that's how creativity feels, right? It feels like it's something else. When you're writing regularly, you can't always rely on that, though. You have to write past it. Right. Yeah. And that's been a lot of like my process.

So I had this show for four years crazy ex-girlfriend where, I was acting, I was also writing, I was also writing the songs and like... And it was amazing, and you won in Golden Globe. Yeah, I did. I did. You did all those things. We should talk about, have you, did you ever interact with the Hollywood foreign press? I mean, not for like being nominated for Golden Globe, but, you know, the interviews and whatnot.

Yeah, it was, it was very interesting. But, but, so anyway, I was often, that show forced me to come up with a process. and right past when I was feeling blocked because I had to. Right. Now, something that I didn't know on that show that I only found out recently was like, I have ADHD. And so there are two sides of that coin with me. There's the side that's like I go, I think, A to D to F to six, right?

And that's where the creativity sometimes comes from. Yep. But then my brain gets overheated with too much going on. And it's like, oh, I have to do this and I have to do this and I have to do this and I have to do this and I shut down. So part of something I'm still working through is what is my writing creative process? And in learning in a writing day how to put in those moments where it feels like divine inspiration. Because I find I get inspiration when I go and walk, when I'm just extrapolating to myself when I'm not sitting at the computer. Moving.

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't see that as divine. I see that as the brain. My brain is amazing. And my brain, I need to get up. I need to be moving. And I need to channel whatever my brain is processing. Like dreams I find so amazing. I had a dream. This was like a year ago. But I dreamt I was in a public square in Europe. And for whatever reason, I must have been thinking about this because it was a lucid dream where I was in this public square in Italy. You're like how I was come back to the like into Italy? When I was in Italy. Anyway, my brain had created all of these people. And in this dream, I looked into the faces of all of these basically extras, these background

actors. And I was like, my brain made you. My brain made you. My brain made you. So I just think the brain is amazing. And there's so much that scientists still don't know about the brain. I guess I think more there's still so much to be learned about the brain

I don't go to divine inspiration because there's so much like you almost don't need it I don't need a ghost to be insepting me because my brain is putting together all these connections that like it's magic but what yeah see to me in that I go okay but what is that brain connected to because if like I'm really into this theory right now

of like this planet that we're on is a fucking algorithm. And like what we think about, what we look for, what we speak, we start to see it. And it's like, oh, weird. I was just saying that and it's something's fucking listening, right? So is it that your brain then just opens up a little bit more and sees what's already there? Or is there some sort of rhythmic thing that it's clicked into and whatever, channel you're on, it's feeding you. Well, my counter question...

That might be a little psycho. No, no, it's not. My counter question, because people talk about this, like, signs and patterns, my counter question is, or do you have a brain that picks up patterns and you're picking up signs and patterns? Because think of all the times in the day where we don't have... We don't see it. Yeah.

We don't have weird patterns. We don't have weird things. And I don't have the answer to this. I just, I think about that a lot. We thought you would. Like, my husband... has a story where, and I don't think I'm speaking out of, I'll text him after this, but I think I can show the story. Years ago, 20 years ago, he had a vivid dream about this woman he used to see every day at a coffee shop.

And it was a dream where like they were married and in love, it was one of the most viscerally emotional dreams he'd ever had. And it's a woman he hadn't seen in years. and he woke up and he got on the subway and that woman was there. Hadn't seen her in years. See, I get chills. And I say,

did you say anything to her? And he was like, I didn't. And that was it. That was it. Right? So what is that? Wait, does that fuck with you? So this is what I'm saying.

So here's my science brain is like, I think the odds are good that he saw her fleetingly on the subway. He was going to and from work. The odds are good that he saw her fleetingly on the subway once or twice, even the day before. And it was too fast, because he hadn't seen her in years, right? Right. It was too fast for him to clock who that was. But his brain, because our brains are amazing, was like, oh my God, that woman. Right. Made up, had a dream. The next day, he sees her because he'd already seen her, but he just hadn't. Clocked it really. Yeah. That's my theory.

Sure. He swears like he hadn't seen her. But look. that shit's weird but at the end of the day they're not married no so who won right it depends on which dimension does that do you bother you no I think it's beautiful yeah yeah and I was like I was like there's a problem that's like go to her she's waiting she's waiting for you no but I mean oh my god I don't know like we

we ran into his ex-girlfriend At the Grand Canyon one time. That's random. That's random. If you were going to, if you were writing a movie where the movie was that that was the true love of his life. Yeah. You'd put her there. You'd put her there, right?

But in the movie where I'm the love of his life, which I am. Yeah. That's either random or it's leaving the past behind saying a low. So I don't know. Support for broad ideas comes from quince. I love Quince. You too. So much.

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That's article.com slash broad for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Well, yeah, I think the bottom line is none of us know. Yeah. There's people that claim to, and that's when I think my skeptic mind comes in. And I'm like, we don't know. We all have our own thoughts and beliefs. Help me with this one. So a friend of mine the other day was in this situation and someone's like, you know who you need, you need this person, okay?

She's like, how in the hell am I going to get to that person? It's like some big deal human, right? She's like, Charlie X, X, X, X. Yeah. Let's say Charlie X, X, X, okay? And she's like, how am I going to get Charlie X X X X X X X. X. X X X. And I bet a real name is like, is like Gwendolyn Shapiro or something. Anyway, good one. Yeah. So she was like, yeah, and everyone's like, yeah, but she's not available anymore. Nobody can get her. It's a thing.

So my friend goes and she's sharing at some like conference saying, I need help with this thing. This woman, she's never met, comes up to her and goes, what do you need help with? And she tells her, this is what I need help with. And she goes, I know everybody's telling me I need Charlie S-E-X. And S-E-X? X-C-X. X-C-X. I'm dyslexic, so jumbles me. Oh, well, that's going to be a real, that's going to be a real trigger.

Yeah. And she goes, oh, that's who you need? And she goes, yeah, she goes, I'm her mom. Oh, wow. I'm her mom. in a field sharing this in a room that has absolutely

nothing to do with Charlie X-C-X. You got it. Wow. That's amazing. And I'm going, it's the algorithm. Or, so a couple things. Algorithm.

Help, help, help. Couple things. Like, or it's just an unbelievable statistical. anomaly. It's those one in a million moments that I don't think is like less magic. Like when magicians

do magic, right? It's sick. It's amazing. And they'll tell you I'm not doing magic. But what's actually amazing is anyone who's a great magician. And my friend, I'm friends with this guy who's a top of his field magician. He has spent

a million hours memorizing cards, perfecting these card trick. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of of, his name's David Kwong, part of his act is to make a crossword puzzle in front of you. So the whole time he's keeping track of all these crossword puzzles. Meanwhile, he's building in clues to the crossword puzzle. So the fact that his brain works like that and the fact that he trained his brain to be like that, to me is as magical as if it were divinely inspired.

So like that statistical anomaly is like that feels mad. Even that just like feels magical. My other question is, so like, I don't know the specifics, but like, so she said, I need this person, and then she was at a conference for something unrelated. But, like, we know how, like, socioeconomic backgrounds work. Like, if this is a bunch of, like, like, upper class or upper class, like, rich white ladies, it's not. It's not. So that's like, that's like another thing is, like, No, it's actually not. It's something that holds a room of people that come from absolutely nothing to everything. To everything, though.

Because is everyone in that room rich? No. You're saying it runs the gamut. I'm saying it comes from people just getting out of, like, jail to. Well, that's fucking, that's fucking crazy. I know. That's the thing is like, I don't know. That's where I'm like, yeah.

I mean, her mom? Yeah. You're just like that's so weird. That's really fucking weird. You know, I don't, I don't know either. None of us know. I'm just like you, open to having my mind blown. I want it blown.

I think the evidence-based part of me is like, that's amazing. What are the odds? Probably one in a million. That's amazing. And then the, but the part of me that is, if you could prove to me that, that, yeah, that's a sign of an algorithm. Yeah. I mean, like, also, you know, a lot of people think that we're living in a simulation.

Yeah. Which isn't even like woo-woo as much as a weird kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um. So like I, look, I err towards the skeptical side. Yeah.

Because I so want the other thing to be true. I have such a high bar. Right. But like, yeah. I don't know. I don't know shit. We don't know. None of us do.

Is it 98% of the universe is made of dark matter? We don't know what dark matter is. Right. We don't know shit. Right. I agree. I'm like a practical atheist, theoretical agnostic. Yeah.

And I think every person who's a scientific brain is that, that you're open to being proven wrong. I think that you're open to be proven wrong. Yeah. I think having that is the most important thing. That's the scariest thing to me is when if whatever belief system someone has that they're not open to being proven wrong. Right. I mean, this is the thing about organized religion is that organizing. as religion is based in texts that were written thousands of years ago, you cannot prove them

wrong. So. Yeah. I think that for me, sometimes I think that I can be a little skeptical, but I'll hold on to certain beliefs out of comfort. And I'm like, I don't really care if I'm right or wrong. It gives me comfort. And I'm in this world, in this scary existence. So if that brings me a little comfort, who cares? That's also... Do you know what I mean? I've been going through this

where it's like, who's it hurting? Like I used to be... And still am kind of pretty anti-horoscope. Sorry. I know that that's a very... Controversial comment. But like, also, who's it hurting?

It's like people want to do horoscope. And I understand there's a big human history thing with horoscopes. I get it. Am I going to rail against horoscopes anymore? No, like, it's fine. Like, yeah, I feel like I do lean a little more. Like, I definitely have skepticism, like, in me.

But I also have a crazy belief system, and I manifest without, like, really putting energy towards it. Right? So, like, there is that side of me, but I also have skepticism. But then I have, like, in horoscopes, yes, yes, yes. But then I have this woman who reads your charts, and it's all based on astrological signs. And that experience has been mind-blowing. because of how much she can see in the charts by birth, date, place, time, whatever. But I'm always questioning it.

Like, how? And how do you know that? What? I wanted to tell you something Candy had told me. What? That are, she got me my chart done. Yeah. And she kept saying songwriting to me.

And I was like, no, I don't write songs. And she's like, I see you working with songwriters. And I was like, I don't work with songwriters. And now you're working with songwriters. Oh my God. But like that just hit within the year she said it was going to. Yeah. Weird.

So then then you're proven, open to being proven wrong, right? So. She said, give me her number. Yeah. We'll get your chart read. I've had, I've had chart, charty stuff read. Yeah. What sign are you?

Aries. Here's what I'll say is I follow. When's your birthday? April 3rd. I follow a. a lot of what Aries is especially as a kid. Like there was a while that I had a pet theory that were all born close to our astrological sign. And then as we get older, our experiences change us because I used to be in Aries and I still very much am. But also, if you look at any other sign,

I also follow those. But also that's the argument of horoscopes is that, like, you know, they've done experiments where they hand a group of people a horoscope. And they're like, this is your personalized horoscope. And, okay, raise your hand if this was dead on. And everyone raises their hand and it's like you all got the same you all got you all got you all got the same right because so many horoscopes especially the daily ones are like everyone thinks you're outgoing but really you have a really introverted side that's just human nature right right right right right right right right and really we most of us just want to be home on the couch yeah zoning out on our phones um so it it's like

I don't know. It's always like a it's always like okay is that true to everyone how true is that to me my friend and I years ago we got our palm reader we got tarot and I remember the tarot reader

she was saying some interesting things she was saying I don't know I forget but she looked at me and she goes do you want children and I said maybe and she goes okay well no big deal but there are three souls out there that want you to be their mom And I was like, Jesus, okay.

And then my friend who wanted kids was like, what about me? Are you seeing kids for me? And the tarot reader was like, no, I'm not, no one's jumping out. And of course, my friend has a child. Of course. I have one child. So like, I haven't had anything happen with the psychic. Your skepticism has been proven more correct than.

It's been proven more correct than not. And the one time that it did feel really bespoke and specific, this woman knew who, in advance who I was trying to content. Right. Yeah. Right. So what keeps driving you to go? Because I want it to be true.

I know. Yeah. I do too. Here's my biggest issue with psychics and whatnot and why I'm always hesitant. I don't want the negative shit. I don't want to go to a psychic and then be like, you're going to die. Or like, this person's going to die. It's like, I don't want more fear pumped into my system.

Do they do that? I mean, they'll, like, read shit and there's definitely people that will tell you things that are just hard to hear or whatever. I'm not. seeking that. I don't want that. I don't want that in my space. Whether it's true or not, that is my biggest issue. And I don't know how you differentiate. Like, is this psychic going to be negative and, like, say things that are fear-based and scary? Or- Because even if it's not true, even if they're a hack, right? Right. And they say things that are

fear-based. Then it fucks with your brain. Of course. I think also this stuff is so, I guess, like, where I'm at is, the brain is so interesting to me and the power of placebo effect. is so, placebo effect is fascinating. It's amazing. It's amazing. And placebo effect is almost more interesting to me than energy, spiritual stuff, because it's stuff that is, our brain is doing. But we don't know how it does it.

So that mystery is almost so interesting, I don't need to go spiritual because I'm like, whoa, I mean, how does the brain even work? That's crazy that people have been able to cure themselves. like let's take out like a ghost coming in and curing them. Let's just talk about even if it is placebo effect. That's amazing. Right. What is that?

You know? Yeah. That's how I feel. I'm like I don't care if it's placebo or not. I'm like as long as my brain is buying into it and I'm seeing a result as a result of it. Cool. It kind of doesn't matter, right? It does not matter.

Right. It doesn't matter. Right. I get that. I am going to go see a psychic two synchics. So I have a meeting with an intuitive on Monday. And then I have a meeting in two weeks with a psychic medium. So right, on the spectrum, correct me if I'm wrong, it's like intuitive, psychic medium, right?

And the mediums are the ones who are most kind of connected. I think the mediums are the ones that are supposed to be able to connect with people who have passed. That medium we spoke, Jonathan, like, there were things that were like right on. Like he channeled, like my grandpa and he was a jokester and he's like making jokes. Now, again, right? Like, maybe. Yeah, like it's like grandpa was a jokester. It's like most people's grandpas are jocksters.

Yeah. Yes. I mean, he did know about my dad and I went and did a deep dive afterwards. Oh. because my dad was killed by a police officer. Oh, my God. And he, in that meeting that we did with him, I went through all my Instagram, all my Facebook, all the things to make sure there was no sign to my dad before we did the meeting.

And he was like, I see a gun, I see this, I see that. Like, he saw all these things. That's right. I forgot about that. And we were like. And that was that information was nowhere online. I couldn't find it. I could not.

Wow. I couldn't find it anywhere online. So I don't know. And we hadn't had been doing the podcast because you've talked about it on the podcast. I talked about it since. Since, yeah, but not before. Wow. First of all, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's okay. But also, yeah. I mean, then I hear that. I don't know. I don't fucking know. Like, a friend told me a story. So a lot of ghost sightings are right before people go to sleep or when they wake up. And because I had this thing when I was little,

I'm very, I get very skeptical of like spirit sightings before sleep or after sleep because I'm like, your brain is, does crazy sleep. Yeah. But I have some friends who have stories where they're not asleep. It's in the middle of the day. And I'm like, yep, that's weird. Right. That's a weird. Like a friend who she was, it was night, but she was in a cabin somewhere.

And she literally felt a voice whisper next to her like, I can see you. and a little girl had like died at that camp or something. And it wasn't a little girl ghosts are always the scary. I know child ghosts are so weird. So weird. Look. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, probably.

Could she have been jet lag from travel? Sure, but also like, I don't know. Or that's weird. Do you know what happens to me? Okay, I've never like said this before and it's kind of random and I don't even know if it means anything. But I will just have random out of nowhere, a moment will pop into my head with. somebody I haven't seen of or spoken to in 40 years or whatever and it's so vivid and it just like visceral like it comes in and in my head I'm like did something just happen to that person or did

like I get like these weird flashes or maybe everybody does this no no oh okay I thought maybe it happens to everybody but I'll have such specific moments just pop in out of nowhere for no reason and so I'm trying to understand like what that means so in this book I'm listening to listening to, in the book Science, she talks about this one guy who he's on a fishing trip or something and his whole body just gets this kind of like, and this ended up being her doctor and he told her this story. His whole body got this like electric shock and he just felt his dad and he was like, that was weird, whatever. He gets off the trip and he calls his mom. She had been calling him and she's like, your dad died. Oh my God. What time? What time?

and turned out it was the same exact time he got that feeling. And so he never told anyone his whole life because he was a doctor. He was science. Wow. He was like, this shit doesn't happen. I think the book is, I don't know. I just feel like. Then I hear stories like that and that shit's wild.

Yeah. We're not here to trick you. My friend, you know, my friend who's a medium, she wrote a book and I'm reading it. And she has, it hasn't come out yet, but she has. but she has things in it of things like that where I'm like, yeah. Right. I love hearing all of the stories. I can't put holes in that.

Like, right. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I think I used to have to like know. And it went. I used to have like a fear of the afterlife weirdly. Like I was, I swing wildly in different directions.

Like I was very pro afterlife. And then there was a while where I went through kind of a religious. panic where I was like if there's an afterlife it means that Catholicism is right and I'm wrong because ghosts are purgatory and if purgatory is real then it means I'm going to hell. Right. So I used to like kind of use skepticism as like an anchor to be like, no, no, my fear of hell isn't warranted because none of it exists. I'm not in that place anymore where I'm like for the first time of my life I kind of could go

either way. I just still have a high bar. But when I hear stories, I'm like, yeah, that's crazy. I have a question. Yeah. So, and I don't know why I think you're going to have an answer to this, but I'm curious what your answer is. So my kid has to go under anesthesia for a dental procedure, right? That scares the fucking shit out of the need.

It's so scary. It's terrifying. Both kids do. One of which is the one that was in the knee. you health issues. A little scary, right? Just booked the appointment yesterday. I'm like, okay, book the appointment. We're going to do it. Driving here, listening to that book signs, she tells this story about this kid and his name's Caleb and he's this beautiful soul. And as she's saying it, I'm like, I can feel Shepard. Like he feels like my son named Shepard. And then she goes,

he grew an extra tooth. Shepard has a shark tooth right now. Gosh, I used to have that. She goes, he grew an extra tooth and he had to go under a dental procedure. And he had to go under general anesthesia and he died. And I'm going. I literally voice-noted my husband. I'm like, we need to cancel the appointment. Holy shit.

I don't feel right. I'm freaking out. Like, in that situation, I'm like, is this not a sign for me to not put him under? God. Like, what do, what do you do, what do you do if that information seems to you? I mean, I fear my daughter dying all the time. That is a very normal thing. So, you know, I guess if I were to go with my gut of my fears of her, she'd be in the house.

I mean, every time there's a piece of shooting, I'm like, all you can just think about your child, right? 100%. So I get it. Yeah. And also, I guess if I fall down the rabbit hole of what are the signs out there that my daughter's in danger, there are signs in the news every day. Oh, my God. That my daughter's in danger. Well, that's 100%.

So, I mean, that's so specific to you. I know. It's so specific. I get it. I said to her, I said, look, do I think he'd be fine? Yes. but this is speaking to a fear you're having and it's not worth agonizing over what if? I don't know if, yeah.

First of all, I had like eight teeth pulled and it was all local anesthesia and this was in the mid-90s. So I don't, I mean, maybe, I guess they put kids under general now, but like I have visceral memories of being awake for all of my teeth being pulled. I don't wish that on your child,

but like I know what it feels like to have a tooth pulled. You could feel it No, you feel pressure So they were Nova came me up But like I had I want to say I had like eight teeth pulled

In one setting Whoa Were you traumatized? I remember the nurse Would jiggle my jiggle my cheek And then it was a ton of pressure It's the pressure

Yeah And then you hear Your tooth And then you tased your blood And then I had my wisdom teeth out And I was put under for that Yeah. So first of all, I'm like, does it have to be general? But also, look, the anxiety you're going to get if you keep that appointment right now, might not be worth it for your mental health.

Right. You might be, that two hours might be so agonizing. Yeah. If you can push the appointment, why not? Yeah. But it's to fill cavities, right? Elliot, they need to pull four teeth. And for Shepard, they need to. They need a, to fill like six cavities or something. And it's just, I guess it's hard to do on a kid. He's got special needs. He's like not like, he won't. You have the kid that you have to like hold.

You got it, you know. He's not going to sit there. No. Like I didn't just take it. Like you'll get like literally there's an, we still have it somewhere. I'd gotten all these teeth pulled. And my mom was like, how are you feeling? And I was writing down because I couldn't talk.

And I wrote, I'm fine. Give me dollar sign. Got dollars. Because I didn't promise like $20. Yeah. That's great. But he's not going to be. pacified by $20.

You may be laughing. But kids' cavities are way less involved than adult cavity. Also, aren't those teeth just going to fall out? That was always you know, but they always fight you on it. Because my husband fights me on flossing her a little bit where he's like

I'm like the dentist said to floss and he goes, well, these teeth are falling out. You floss your head's teeth. Sometimes, yeah. My dentist just told me I need to. Oh, you're a rule follower. Yes. So this is, but this is because I like to know what's true and what's not. Yeah.

I love experts telling me what to do. Yeah. Like I told my therapist when we started working together because, so another thing that happened in 2021 was my psychiatrist of eight years died in a surfing accident. What? What? What? So he was the guy I tried to contact through this other cycle.

The second time. Yeah. So when I got my new therapist, so the thing that I, had had with my psychiatrist was he was like he was a psychiatrist but also a little life coachy which I love yeah and so I said to my therapist I was like boss me around give me homework yeah tell me what to do you're the one who studied this I haven't right so I like systems yeah but also I mistrust systems there's a lot going on in this noggin that I'm still I'm still working out like I I really swing to these extremes.

Yeah. And part of my life journey, I guess, but also part of my writing is navigating these two extremes and like putting extremes together. Like I do comedy pop songs. Yeah. Those are two extremes put together. Right. It's the extreme of sexiness and femininity put together with observations about my life,

which are like the opposite of feminine. and pretty and hot. So I like when opposites are forced to be in the same room. Yeah. I like anything that misleads you. Like where you think you're getting one thing and then you get the, like, that is. I'm such a slut for that. I like, yes.

Yes. Where it's like, oh, you think you're going to get the thing? Like, did you ever see the movie The Cabin in the Woods? I think I did. This is like how, so this movie, it's like a, it's a, it's a, It's really good. It's amazing. And I think it should want an Oscar.

And I'm such a, whatever I mean, I'm from Drew Goddard's company. I'm like, oh my God, Kevin in the Woods. Because it's a movie that starts out like a horror movie, but it's actually a deconstruction of horror movies. And it becomes something you never thought it was going to be. I fucking love that. I'm like, I get like, wet. I'm trying to remember it.

Yes. No, I feel you 100%. But it's that style of movie. And also like, I mean, it's why I loved promising young woman. Yeah. Because it's like that it starts out in this place and then it extrapolates and goes to places you never expect. This is my favorite thing in life. Yeah.

Same with humans. Yeah. Like a human that is so misleading when you think, oh, my God, I thought I was going to get something so different. I've had my experience. I love the. It's like half and have. There was something about people who zig when you think they're going to zag that are really interesting. And then also those people can be.

really toxic. Yeah, true. And have a lot of issues. True. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True. It is interesting in humans. Like how completely opposite and like such a crazy pivot, like a movie. You're just like, you don't see it coming. And then we all contain, we all contain like these beautiful multitudes. Yeah. Which is why a horoscope that's like, yeah, you seem happy, but actually you're sad is like, that's like all of us. We're all really complicated. Happy and sad. Because they assume like I feel like

there's a part of us, I know as an only child I feel this where it's like I'm the only person and everyone else is a robot who is just created because I'm in some sort of like Truman show reality show. This isn't something I believe but it's definitely something

as a kid that I was like is this even real or am I just in a perpetual dream and everyone around me's fiction? We all see ourselves as the lead of our story. Yeah. And we're, because we only know really at the end of the day, like what's in our head. Right.

Well, there's whole theories on that, that that's actually what's happening. Right. That were just all figments of one imagination and that were the main character and you're all fake. This is all fake. This is all just my imagination. And I feel like this is also really leaked into like the internet, the internet. feel like on TikTok, it's big to talk about like non-player characters. Yeah.

I feel like video game culture and like role-playing game culture has really expanded to where we're thinking about our lives like we're in these games. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of. Well, it also goes to the, there's all these theories on the multidimensional universe, too. And we're just in the dimension based on the choice. we chose at the time, but that all those other choices are still being lived in different dimensions. The thing that my husband and I are obsessed with, do you remember the Berenstein-Ber-N-Stain-Ber's thing a couple

years ago? He and I are obsessed with it. Wait, the thing? Theory? What? What? That it's, do you remember ever the, of the Mandela effect? Yes. Yes. So remember a couple years ago on the internet it was like in your head how are you spelling the berenstein bears right so like in my head it's b-e-n-st-st-e-in-s-t because I remember my dad making a joke that they were Jewish right he was like oh they're just like us it's Bernstein right I remember that yeah it's not it's not it's B-E-R-E-N-S-T-A-I-N so there is this is a Mandela effect theory at some point people like me who remember rid as EIN, we switched dimensions. That I was in one dimension with the EIN and now I'm in the AIN

dimension. And I got to say, I called my parents. I kind of, I got so into it for a minute. I love, I love Mandela effect shit. I love it. So I, and I called my parents actually a couple of years ago and I went, how do you spell Berenstain? And they were like AIN. And I was like, bullshit. Bullshit. Because I remember you making jokes. It was EI. And they're like, no, we never did that. Oh my God. I'm in the wrong dimension. I'm in the wrong dimension with you. I should be in the AIN. Yeah.

There's so many. I should be in the EIN. I switched. And somewhere AIN's self is in the EIN. And she's going, no, no, no. It's AIN. But there were so many, what were some other examples? There were so many.

Well, it's based on that a bunch of people remember hearing in the 80s about Nelson, Nelson Mandela died in prison. Yeah. And the argument is they're conflating the news about someone else dying in, in an apartheid prison with Nelson Mandela but that's where it started is these mass false memories

another example is Shazam a bunch of people claim to remember and I don't remember this that there's a movie called Shazam with Sinbad where he plays a genie yeah that was never a movie What?

There's a movie called Kazam where Shaquille O'Neal plays a genie no Sinbad never played a genie No he 100% played a genie This is a whole thing He did. He absolutely did. And you know he did too because you're in the wrong dimension. I like, here's the thing. I don't remember the movie Shazam. The sight of Sinbad in a genie costume

feels comforting to me. Feels right. But I, but I think we're, I'm conflating it with Kazam. Because Kazam I remember. I don't remember Kazam. No. I don't remember Shandbad. There was more. What other what other ones are there? There's like the Wheaties thing or like, oh, what's the logo of Fruit of the Loom? Do you picture a cornucopia of fruit? Yes. No, it's just fruit. What? It's not a cornucopia. It's just fruit. Wait. No, no. These are, these are fucking up. Does Mr. Peanut have a monocle? Yes. I want to say he doesn't. I think he does. So do I.

But he doesn't? So what is that? I don't fucking know. What fucking is that? I don't know. I love that we're coming to you. We're supposed to have the last answer. I don't know. You need to give us all. The answer is like it's false memory. Am I misremembering my parents saying E-I-N? I could be misremembering that. I guess I could. Collective false memory. Yeah. Or you've been gaslighted so much that you just second-guess everything you remember. Like, have you ever heard of the Fat, the Fatima miracle? No, what's that? Oh, I mean, this is a whole, if we're talking about collective. Oh, great. Hallucination. I want to say in a village in Italy. In around like, I'm going to be. I'm going to butcher this, but it was like early 1900s these kids claimed to be communicating with Our Lady of Fatima,

which is, I don't know if it's the Virgin Mary or if it's another saint lady. I'm not up on my Catholicism. But anyway, they were like at this precise moment, a miracle will occur. And thousands of people gathered, including reporters, and they claim they saw the sun come close to the earth and then spin around and then go back into the sky. I think it's in Spain thousands of people claim to have seen this however if the sun got as close to the earth as these people are describing the earth would have burned up

right what de fuck what in the fuck what de fuck now a lot of now like so one argument is well if you have a bunch of so it was called the miracle of the sun yeah and I think the kids predicted

there would be a miracle of the sun if you have a bunch of people staring at the sun you're going to see shit. It fucks with your eyes and you're going to see shit. Yeah. That's the argument. But a bunch of people, oh, yeah, I think it's that.

It was raining outside. The sun got suddenly very close to the earth. Everyone dried up and then the sun spun around. Hmm. I mean. I could be butchering this, but, but. No, but the point is the point. Yeah.

The point is collective. Yeah. But either way, isn't that interesting? Yes. Collective false memory is huge. So interesting. Yeah. I want to Google Sinbad so bad as a genie. No, there was so many of them that I'm like, I remember it being this way. There's not a true. When you're like, I know I'm right. But memory is so faulty. Like there are, I think it was like this American life story where someone was talking about a situation where he saw Palm McCartney on the street with his wife. And he's been sharing the story. And his wife was like, no, no, I only saw Paul McCartney. You weren't there with me that day. And he'd really. realized he she just told the story so much to him his brain had put him there yeah yeah

because he wasn't there right it's fucking weird fucking weird so weird um should we do some of those or no yeah yeah yeah let's do them because they're fun okay yes that's a good question any examples of love bombing or being love bombed yeah yeah the last date i ever went on before i um got together with my now husband. I was 20. I've been with my husband for almost 16 years. Oh, wow. Yeah.

That's cool. I'm very basic. I'm very like, I fucking love it. I have like a color hair streak and I'm just like, I'm so crazy, but like, I'm like, I kind of have like Midwestern value. I love it.

I've been to go for a long time. I love that. The last day I went on was a guy. I was 22 and he was like in his late 30s. And we went on one day. And then on the date he was asking me if I want to kids. First date. So that's like a red flag. And we made out and he then kept texting me that he wanted me to come home. He wanted me to come to his house in Minnesota and meet his parents.

What? That's insane. But then he was also a little bit anti-Semitic in the text where he was like, my parents are like, oh, she's Jewish. L.O.L. And I'm like, I'm never speaking you again. Oh my God. That's, that's crazy. Yeah. I mean, I guess yes or no, like asking if you want kids on the first date, it kind of. I mean, I did that with my husband. But I was 33 years old and I needed to know if because the clock was ticking. So I was 21 and he was in his late 30s. He had just recovered, if I recall, from testicular cancer. And he had been engaged and had called it off.

And this was his first date since recovering from cancer, I think. So what does that have to do with asking if you like kids? I think he's like bullshit's over. I want kids. I think I looked him up on Facebook a couple years ago and I saw that he did end up having kids. Oh, that's good. Yeah. He wanted to settle down.

And he wanted to settle down with me. And I was like, bro. And I was literally going off to Amsterdam for a theater program. So I was like, I'm a dip. I mean, I didn't say that because that wasn't a thing back then. No, please, please say that. But let's just say, I said, I'm a dip. That is.

And then I said skibbitty-dibbitty-dibbitty toilet, right? Skibbitty-dibet-toilet. Yep. I have to listen to that on the drive to school. A song. So it's just that song, right? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Everyone, they all play it. Okay. But they call, they break down everything into like, oh, he's got mad skibbitty Riz and like, yeah. Skivety Riz. Skibbitty Riz. My son told me the other day that he was teaching his friend the ways of Riz.

And I was like, well, don't you have to learn them first? So that's like, that's just swag. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was nine or whatever?

Yeah. No nine-year-old has Riz. My five-year-old has fucking Riz. Okay. He really does. Like a motherfucker. Like he walks in a room and you're like, oh, it's Shepard's World. We're just living in it.

So he should be teaching the Skibbitty. I was a Ghibit-Riz course. Shep is Riz. Yes. He is Riz. Okay. If you were going to start your own nudist colony, what would be the rules? Oh.

carry a towel I think that's actually the rules of a nudist colony I think it's to carry a towel everywhere Yeah why so that you don't get your juices on things Oh I see you sit down like on a couch If you sit down You want to put a towel I would have the whole place would be with those

You know thermosel makes mosquito Yeah those mosquito Thermasel things because I get bitten very easily So I'd have thermocels everywhere Yep So people wouldn't get bitten in their buttholes. That's really kind of you. Yeah, that's really kind of you. And I think just like try to like, don't be, don't be it. I think if you have, um, if the men get boners,

hmm, go off. Conceal your boners. Go off, king. No. That, no what? No one. It's that if men get boners, they shouldn't be shamed, but they should tend to it in private. In private. But what's the difference like if a guy gets a boner if everybody's naked versus if a guy gets a boner and we're all clothes it's weird either way right yeah yeah boners are weird boners are private they feel very private to me yeah yeah they're just whatever's going on with the boner no judgment but this is not for me right like just because you're naked we don't want to see you you know poop oh I think that's another a nice rule. That's a very bathroom bedets. I would say mandatory bidet when you poop.

100%. 100%. Wait, what you call it? Oh. No one's ever asked you this, have they? No. This is real. Mashed potatoes.

No, really. Yeah, bring it back. All our bodies are just filled with mashed potatoes. That's what it looks like. That's it. Yeah. We were talking about boners. So what would you do if you had a dick for a day? Great question. Oh, I'd stick it in everything. Mashed potato. I was actually Googling. I was on Reddit.

Because I was like, what is the difference between a male orgasm and female orgasm? And there were people on there who were trans who were talking about, you know, male, female, female, and male, like what their orgasms. are like prehormones, post hormones. The consensus seems to be that a woman's orgasm is more full body and longer and that a man's is localized and maybe more intense in the crotch, but shorter. Interesting. That's kind of how it presents. Yeah.

That makes sense, right? Yeah, totally tracks. Because they go, yeah. Yeah, they're not like, oh. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, sorry, I didn't mean to do that. No, they don't feel it.

Like, they don't feel it. Like, I feel it in, like, my butthole and stuff. Or, like, in my butt or, like, I don't know if they're feeling it. Like, everywhere. Like, the entrance to their butthole. Yeah, you're just saying it's locally, literally, like. Just coming out there. Yeah.

It's just, phew. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's solid information. It does make sense. But, you know, you have, haven't you experienced, like, men, like full body shakes and whatnot? Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Or men having it. Men, I'm saying you have experienced with men is what I was saying. Oh, men having full body shakes? Yeah. I've been with one guy for 16 years. Wait, you've had men orgasm and just be like, like full body. I mean, that's a little extreme. Show us what it looks like.

I'm not going to show you. That's interesting. Yeah. So I think maybe. Oh, like the sex quakes. Yeah. Okay. Sure.

So that's a thing. I don't know if it's a thing. I'm not saying like every time you're experiencing, you know. I don't know. It feels like that description is more accurate. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I thought it was like seeking out the people who were on hormones who were going through gender transition was like, oh, these are actually like, yeah, this is this is the best. We'll have like comparisons. Right. No, it's really interesting. And that it's a hormonal thing. Right. That's interesting. Because it's like taking testosterone, taking estrogen changes your orgasm. That's so weird. So it's not that they physically get a different G-spot or spot or that the like clitoris versus penis.

It wasn't clear if someone had had like bottom surgery like so I don't know. But but I thought it was really the testimonials are really interesting. That's interesting. That's fascinating. Very fascinating. Your turn. Oh. Is it?

Oh no. What's your ideal bedtime? I'm feeling sleepy. I'm doing a crossword puzzle. I've just taken a bath. and I can't keep my eyes open with the crossword puzzle anymore. So I just, so I just go to sleep. What time is that?

My ideal bed time is like 11, 11.30. But it needs to be, I try to make it more like 10, 10, 30 because I had a kid. Right. What is that early or late? Late. Yeah. Yeah. If you could trade lives with any celebrity for a day,

Who would you back? Oh, boy. Hmm. For a day. Yeah. Just a day. Oh, Tom Cruise, because I want to see what's going on with Scientology. I want to find out, I want to find out where Shelley Miskovich is. Yes. Yes. And then I get all the perks of Tom Cruise restaurant. I can go to any restaurant I want. You could do wild stunts. I'm worshipped. I'm worshipped like a god. Yeah. So I get all the thing of being super famous. Plus, I get to find out mysteries. Oh, that's a really good answer. Great answer. Great answer. Great conversation. I was going to say interview. It didn't feel like that. There's not.

No. Conversation. Sorry. It's a conversation. Yeah. In closing, what is your weirdest turn on? Yeah. I definitely like, like, I'll watch porn of, like, guys jerking off.

Oh. That if I were to see it in life, it would be traumatizing. Mm-hmm. But in porn, it's fine. Interesting. Of guys just jerking off to the camera. Right. That's great. But it's like, it's like removed if it's on the computer. I don't know. There's just something about it that I really like. But again, I'm not, I don't have a fetish for seeing that in real life. Like I'm like it. Because that's scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Because that man wants to hurt me. It's totally different than reality. Yeah. Yeah. Like a guy in his car on a lunch break, you can kind of see a Carl's Jr. bag in the corner. And he's just fucking jacking it, you know. The Carl's Jr. He's just going to break and he just needed to relax.

And yeah. He just needed, you know, he needed a minute. Not particularly well groomed. Sure. I like the details. The details are important. This is not an invitation for people to. No, me.

No, it's not. The point is that it's me choosing. Me getting sent, this would actually be the opposite. Completely. Yes. It's me seeking it out. Right. You know, a friend of ours went and we were all meeting up and one of our friends was

waiting in the car from him and he went to the car and was like, they're ready for us. what are he doing? He's like, I'm just watching porn. So he was just having like a little porn moment by himself in the car. What? What? What? Well, I'll tell you after. Okay. Yeah. Was he, I believe, pleasureing himself? I believe maybe just a little and was like, just a little. Just a little, like passing the time, catching a little. So this is happening in real time with real people.

And Carl's Jr. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, click on that note. We did it. The name of your special. Is death, let me do my special? Yep. I knew that, but the audience.

I'll say it. October 15th. Death, let me do my special. Netflix. Awesome. Very excited. So excited. Yes.

Thank you, Rachel. Thank you for having me. Yeah. Thank you for great. What a delight. How was the full moon for you? So it was full last night, right? Mm-hmm.

So my mom, we were driving and she's like, is it a full moon? And she always knows normally. Yeah. It was very bright, very pretty. How was it for you? You know what you just did? What? You just answered the question as if you knew that's what I was going to ask.

It was kind of like, Scoot, yes. Little inside thing that we have going on. Yeah. That's so funny. It was Olivia's birthday. It's true. Sorry, I didn't let you answer about the full moon how it was for you. I didn't see it.

But I felt it. What does it feel like? No, you didn't see it because you were just in your house and didn't see it when the moon was up. Yeah, I wasn't outside past dark. Got it. I was tired. Mm-hmm. Okay, but you felt it.

I felt it. How did it feel? You felt it in your period. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get agitated with. full moons.

Hmm. It's like PMS symptoms before full moon. Even if you're not PMSing. Correct. Interesting. How do you feel about it when people say correct? You say it a lot. I know.

So we ran into this guy, Jeff and I, and we had a great conversation with him, and he said correct a lot. He was like, that guy says correct a lot. And I said, I believe I do that too. He's like, no, you don't. I was like, I think I do. You do. You do here.

And then I realized everybody does. I do? I don't that much. You don't think so? Mm-mm. Leah does. Does she? All the time.

Hmm. I'll be like, so you're upset because your mom got food without you. Correct. I can hear her doing that. Right? Yes. Can you try it and let's see how it feels? Rachel, are you going to be there at 2 o'clock?

I don't feel like it works that. Okay. That was a question. Okay. So you're mad at Leah because she forgot your birthday. Correct. That feels right. I think you do it.

I don't do it as much as you do it. Oh, so it's like a tick? You definitely do it a lot. Oh, my God. See? I knew it when I heard him doing it. I was like, I relate to him. I feel like you do it more like in here.

In this actual room. Yes. Correct. Do you think you're going to start doing it? Yeah, I do. I mean, I do do it, but I can hear you doing it more. Does that make sense? Correct.

That's how you do it. We'll see in our interview today. I wonder how many times you did it in the racial interview. People let us know. Interesting. Yeah. So we all do it. Correct.

You had a birthday and I really need to know something. And I'm asking her on here because did you exchange the sweater that had marks on it? No, I just took a little towel and got them out. Oh, they came out? Yeah. It wasn't like a bleach stain? No. Great.

Mm-mm. Okay. And do you love it? I thought driving all the way to the store and returning. It's really not far. It's not, but neither is. The laundry room or the... And it came out.

Yeah. Great. I've worn it every day. You have? Yeah, I'm not going to wear anything else. Great. Why would I wear anything else? I know.

I mean, I agree. If you had to wear one thing for the rest of your life... It would be a sweatsuit by the grate. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. You know what's funny is that every time I see Emily and Merritt from the grate, I'm wearing the grate. Yes. Every time.

Did you point it out to them the other? day? Well, no, but someone, someone commented on what I was wearing in front of them. Oh. And was like, I love your suit. And I was like, they're great. And they had a recognition in their face. So we've recently gotten into mahjong. Oh, yeah. Go on. And it made me think of it because Emily was with us when we had our first lesson. Yeah. And I think we should keep a up. I now have mahjong tiles. I never thought I could be in love with a mahjong tile. I am in love with my mahjong tiles. Well, did you even know they existed? Well, I knew mahjong was the game, and I think I knew you played with tiles. But I didn't know like these ones existed. Okay.

But we learned, were you standing there when Kristen was telling us that American version is much more complicated. What was the other version? Well, she said Taiwanese. I thought so. She said she would be down for that, but the American one was a little much. It was harder. Right? We got to look into it. We got to look into it. Guys, who's into this Majan conversation? What about Spades, though? Have you actually played Spades before? No, I really am obsessed with cards, and I do want to be the person that, like, keeps a deck of cards in my purse. Like, I love that. Yeah, what is that? I take them with me always on a plane. You do? I do.

They're in my carry-on. What? This is a new information. Yeah, like I'll throw a deck of cards, hoping that someone will play with me or teach me how to play something because I don't know how to play many things. I usually bribe Briar to play this one game that we both know called King's Corners because I love playing cards so much. I did try to teach myself solitaire.

And I did it. Last time I worked and I was like on set, I taught myself and that's what I was doing. But I forgot it already. but I want to teach myself again. I do. I love a deck of cards. How long have you been doing this? Like a deck of cards in my carry-up? Yeah, I feel like I don't even know you. I don't know. Does it predate Breyer? No. Okay. No, but that's 10 years. Because I've traveled a lot with you and you've never once asked to play cards with me. But like having them, my intention is to do so, but I know you don't know any games.

You don't know me. Well, you play speed. And spit. And spit. All right, we could do that. Have you ever played Uker? No, but that's Jeff's game. Yes, it's very complicated.

Okay, see. My brain starts to hurt. The problem with us is we can't shut up long enough to do anything when we're together. We just talk. Talk, talk, talk. And like, all we did was talk the entire time. Yeah. We had all the supplies for the plane.

A book, a magazine, never. A pad full of shows. We can't do it. We can't even watch a show when we're together. We can't even watch a show when we're together. We leave each other. We're together all day. And then, I know we say this, we call each other from the car.

Do you think it's codependent? Are we codependent? I don't think it's codependent. So I need to, like, up my iPad with shows. Because I'm going to go on a long plane ride. Yeah. Someone recommended something last night. Nobody wants his.

That I will watch and download. The Night Manager? I don't know. I'm going to look it up. Okay. I want like a move. The only time I will actually sit down and like, not the only time, but when I want a plane. Yeah.

Like a really good movie that I've never seen. Oh, a good one. Yes. Mine has to be a rom-com. See, I love that and we'll do that. But like the time where I'll be like, you know what, I know this is supposed to be a really good movie. Never. It has my undivided attention.

I'm going to do it. See, but I need to feel safety because I get so anxious. So it has to be like the last one I watched that Sidney, Sweeney and Glenn Powell movie. Oh. You know, like that's the airplane vibe. There's a new movie on Netflix with like Laura Dern and Leah Hemworth. I think I'm going to download that. That seems entertaining.

Yeah. Like I watched the Nicole Kidman and Zach Efron one. Well, how was it? Loved it. Great. But I love those kind of movies. Yeah. I do too.

I'm a rom-com. Connoisseur. Are you friends? No. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to that. I'll download nobody wants this. Yeah.

Because I am very, like, curious. I want to see. It's amazing. Because we love so many people on that show. So many people on that show. There's so many people. I know. A lot of our people.

I know. It's a really good show. Really good show. It's a good one for a plane, Good for a plane. I said a really good show. I haven't seen it yet. But I imagine it's amazing. It is. I have, this is my thing. I will not do a Kindle or whatever. So I have to have like an actual book, right? I have so many that I want to bring. Because in my mind, I'm like, I have so much time. I could like get through maybe four books. Do you think you're going to do that with Nicole?

Yeah. Oh, interesting. Well, it'll be, it's a longer plane ride, so it's probably not the same setup where, like, if we're flying to Austin, where you're like together together. You know what I mean? Okay. There's a little more space on the plane. There is something about Nicole that is very casual, too, in the sense of, like, she's totally the kind of person you could be with and not feel like you have to talk to. 100%. I mean, we're like that, too, but we just can't not talk. We can't not talk. Like we 100% could just be like, I'm going to read a book, but like we can't do that because we can't do that.

We'll be like. Wait, you be eating. What does it say? I was reading something. I like underlined something and sent you a picture together night. What were you reading? Seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo. It's been on my shelf for so long.

Fun. And I had like 20 minutes. Breyer was like playing with her friend. And I started it. I have so many books, though, that I want to read that I have. So that's my problem is like how many to bring because it does take up space and it is heavy in your carry-on. Do you ever listen to books? No.

So this happened, you know about, where I was listening. I've had the book signs for ever. Yeah. Okay. You're listening to it. I decided a couple weeks ago I'm going to start listening to it. Yeah. And I would listen to it on the way here.

Yeah. And I didn't feel like listening to it one day. And I was like, and there was a voice inside me that was like, don't pick up the phone, don't call anyone, just you need to hear whatever you're going to hear. Yeah. Right? And so she starts talking about a little boy who's five years old, like Shepard, who grew an extra tooth like Shepard just did. And they say the kid dies, right? Yeah.

And then for going into a dental procedure, and since I had booked the day before, Shepard's dental procedure, I wanted to cancel. Yeah. And went through this whole thing and whole anxiety, talked to the anesthesiologist, talked to the dentist. They think I'm fucking whack-a-doodle, I'm sure. He goes in for the procedure and everything was fine. Right. What do you make of that? Right. So you're like you're given this information where you're like, oh, well, clearly it's in signs and this is a sign like this could happen. And so I'm going to take it and go the worst way with it. Or maybe it was just presenting something to you so you could get to the other side of it. Like it was putting it in front of you like I'm going to really affirm like all your fears right now. And your job is to as a mother get past those fears. Because I knew when you told us that, I said, I know he'll be fine. Yeah. Because I knew.

Yeah. But I understand your fears. And I think deep down you knew he would be fine. I don't think I did. You did. You would not have done it. I wouldn't have done. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. Right. So that's the lesson. That's you're always telling everybody. I know. It makes me want to cry.

Yeah. Instinct or gut. Yeah. Or intuition or gut. having kids is horrible. It's brutal. It's brutal. The fear you walk through.

The fear every day. I know. I know. I haven't been away from Breyer for more than like a night or two nights since she was three years old. I know. And I'm going to be away from her for like five nights. And I have anxiety about it. Of course.

Every worst thing goes through your head. But it's just, I have to. Why do we do this? I don't know. Your heart is outside of your body. Yes, that's what it is. And that's like the biggest fear in the world is like losing the thing you love that much. Boof.

Oof. We're going to go have some lunch on that note. Check out Rachel's special. She's hilarious. Amazing. Amazing. I loved our, you know, just. skeptics on everything.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm even more skeptical now. Yes. Yes. I sue stand. Correct. Correct.

Thanks guys. Bye. Bye. That was a headgum podcast.