Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Rick Glassman on Navigating a Relationship with OCD

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

Comedian Rick Glassman [Undateable, A Futile and Stupid Gesture, As We See It] talks with Olivia and Rachel about 23andMe, re-watching shows, and monsters. They also discuss OCD, confrontation, and vulnerability.To hear more from Rick, check out Take Your Shoes Off, available wherever you get your podcasts.Broad Ideas is supported by Spiidergriip. Go to SpiiderGriip.com and use discount code IDEAS at checkout to receive 30% off and free shipping.Broad Ideas is supported by Blissy. Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code RACHEL to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/RACHEL.Broad Ideas is supported by Kudo Popcorn. For a limited time, listeners get an exclusive 25% off discount when they use the code IDEAS at Kudosnacks.com.Broad Ideas is supported by Lume. Control body odor anywhere with Lume deodorant, and get $5 off your starter pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code IDEAS at lumepodcast.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

Welcome. Wait. Oh, that's cabaret. Never mind. Welcome to broad ideas. We're about to welcome Rick Glassman. Actor, comedian, podcast host, his podcast, take off his shoes with Rick Glassman.

This was serious. Let's invite Rick. inside of Rachel's little brain All these thoughts are swirling Round and round inside To join us on this journey as we take a little ride We'll talk about dogs and kids and things We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings

We'll talk about boys that'll make you cry We'll talk about death because people die I really want that in. Give me a countdown for something from 10? All right. I'm in. That's definitely, that's going to be the opener. We like to guess people's height.

We've never done this before. I say we liked you. It's our first time. Okay. And we had a whole conversation about it, right? Yeah. We'd had before we got here. Do you want to share with him?

What? What we were saying? I want to know your thoughts on this, right? So Casper was like, We were talking about men and height. And he was saying, you can't ask men their height. And we said, well, what if we guess it? And he said, you've got to make sure if you're going to guess a man's height,

that he's at least 5-11 or over. Right? And so when you walked in, we felt great relief because we thought we can play with him. Because you're assuming that I'm at least 5-11. You are. You know, you're not supposed to ask, I didn't know that. I know that you're not supposed to ask a man what month you was born. What?

Yeah. Why? It sounds just about as ridiculous to me as the height thing. What is it? It just sounds ridiculous. It sounds like an astrology person? Yeah, no, I was just saying something arbitrary. You can't guess like what.

Because you guess somebody, a man's height, he would be offended if he wasn't at least 5-11. That's what we're told. How do you feel about that? It's personal. Well, you know you're tall, so you probably. Yeah, so do you want me to tell you how tall am or is the game guessing? No, we're going to guess. Do you have like a jingle for it?

We'll put it one in. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d guess his height. I said. Six-two is what I said. I was going to go six-three. Yeah. Technically, last I got checked, the doctor said six-three, but because it was just under. Okay, so we're both right.

Yeah, we're both right. You guys get to it. We do. I really felt like it was. 6-3, but like I knew you were going to say 6-3, so I purposely said 6-2. That's actually a really nice friend. I am. Thank you. Yeah, you gave me that one.

I did give you that one. Thank you. We support each other. It's what we do here. It's part of our whole thing. I noticed that the Broad Ideas logo is very similar to the American Idol. Is that inspo? Is that a conscious choice?

Rob loves American Idol. Yeah. Really? Are you joking? Oh, because I love American Idol. American Idol actually I used to watch all the time And I don't know how old you are I don't know if you you're both probably too

Too young for this No we're older than you're sure Now you have to guess our ages Oh yeah yeah no we're okay with it Okay how old do you think we are 49 And 53 I'll never do that

I'll never guess That makes me like you so much more that you said that No I wouldn't guess because you brought me into your home. You know. I'll guess your weight. Okay, do it. Do it.

126. No. Lower. And 139. You are welcome anything. Okay. Good. We are starting.

We are there. Take out all of the weight stuff. Take out the weight stuff. Are you scared to getting... And I'm six, seven. I'm six, seven. How is it? Are you afraid of being canceled?

Am I afraid of it? I mean, there's so many things to be afraid of. That's not really high on the list. It's not something I'm wanting to happen. Right. But it's not something that, like, affects my decision making. Okay. You know, I try to, what I say, really racist stuff.

I try not to do it on camera. Right. You know, and when I'm guessing wait, I'll, no, that's not something I think much about. That's good. I know I'm a comedian and it was a topic of conversation on podcasts for a while and still often is. And I find it to be a little bit of like earlier on, I don't know if we were recording or not, but we were all talking about the weather and that's fine. And weather is great.

Love the weather. Love it. But like there's a cliche to it. And I feel the same with like talking about. about that stuff. So I never really got into conversations for more so. I just like, I don't want to talk about. Yeah. What are we doing? Yeah. You know? Yeah, I get it. I think we should talk more about American Idol because you were going there. Yeah. So when I was a kid, there was, you had to actually watch the commercials. And then something happened where it's called DVR.

Now everything's streaming with you kids. But there was this thing where you could just skip through. He's younger than a, you could, he's for sure younger than that. I'm 23. You could skip through all the commercials. But I would watch with my dad and he would always skip the commercials and I would ask him not to skip the commercials. And it was specific to American Idol because the reason is there's an extra seven, I wanted to last the hour, hour and a half, two hours. I wanted to last the full thing. So when you would fast forward with the commercials, it would end sooner. And that's when I started watching commercials. And now, now look at me.

So commercials are what did it for you? Oh, yeah. Can you recall any that stand out? Oh, geez. I really, I mean, I can make up commercials that I know of, but I can't remember any of them from specifically in America. It seems like it was pretty important to you. What was important was also I like taking breaks in things.

I take breaks in movies. What do you mean? Like at home you'll pause it? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like watching something, something crazy happens. Press pause. Like if we're all watching the other, it'd be like, it's fucking nuts. You know?

Or even by myself, I'll even get up and I'll just like kind of have that what's fucking nuts energy, you know? Like I'll shake it off. like look in the fridge. Like, this is fun. Yeah. And I'll sit back down and I'll restart. I love a break. And that started from American Idol.

It started with making things last longer. I love that. And being okay with the brakes and checking in and like, I'll go pee. Yeah. I won't press pause. I could always rewind now. But, you know, you look at a snack. It's just little breaks.

Yeah. This is really interesting to me. Sincerely interesting? Yeah. No, sincerely. Yeah. Because I won't watch things that have commercials. Like, my husband will put on a movie that has commercials, like, on

television and I'm like, why? Let's just stream it. Why are we doing this? What does he say? He'll just flip to another show during the commercial and then flip back and do he enjoys it. He's fine with it. I have an analogy that I feel is going to be too long of a walk and my instincts are drop it, but it feels like, yeah. I think you do it. So you ever flipping through the channels, you do anything? And then Armageddon comes on from like, you're like 25 minutes in and like, I'll watch this. If the TV didn't suggest it, like the radio didn't play this song, you wouldn't have watched it. But like, yeah, you know, like the animal cracker's on the belly button and it's like, what kind of world are we trying to save?

Like, oh, I love this movie. So that, to me, is analogous to like, if you want to buy this rug, I would go to Marshall Rug Gallery in Northeast Ohio. My dad has a rug store. But I'll send you guys a commercial. But what, but if you know what you want, you know what you want. you just buy it online. But like if you're going to go into the store and you're going to ask questions and you're

going to get help and they're going to like walk you through and you're going to be able to put it and size it, like not that one. And you're going through all this stuff. Why not give them the business? That's how I feel about watching TV. They're suggesting things. They're making things. Listen, yeah, if I really wanted to see the opening of Armageddon, do you remember that movie

well? I haven't seen it a while. I remember this. Not well. I mean, I've seen it. Well, you let me say this. If you turn it on 25 minutes and you don't want to do that because you don't want to miss a thing. Thank you.

You're welcome. But like you could always turn it back on. But I don't know. I respect the suggestion. And that's my analogy. Yeah. That's what he does. Like, but to me, I'm like, if I didn't start a movie at the beginning, I don't want to watch it.

What if it's something you'd already seen? Only like stand by me. Like dirty dancing. Things I know really well. Things I know so well that I'm just in. sucked into things. Like if it's on and I've missed a bit, then I can get sucked in for sure. Yeah. It has to be something I know really well. Okay. That's fair. Yeah. You don't. Yeah. And also, this is, again, very cliche, but that's one of the differences between men and women.

I agree. Women like to, you know, women are heavier. Yeah. And men, you know, watch commercials. Yeah. I like to rewatch. I'm rewatching as of now Game of Thrones at the fourth time. What? I've never seen. seen it. I mean, once. Not going to do what people do. You're not going to judge me? No, I'm not going to, I get it. Those things I haven't seen. But, uh, what haven't you seen that everybody's seen? Could you give some suggestions of things that everybody has seen that you would imagine I would have seen? Game of Thrones. Saw it. House of Cards. Madmen? Madmen. I watched the first season because when I first moved here,

I had an audition for it. So I bought the Blu-ray of the first season. And I watched it like I was taking the L-Sat. I'm like, okay, I think I get this. Get it. And you got the part. Breaking bad. I've seen it multiple times. Okay. Multiple times. Yeah, I rewatch a lot. I rewatch a lot. I love that. Why? Just because it's soothing? There's a safe space to being in the audience but also knowing what's happening. Also, when I watch something that I haven't seen, another reason I take breaks is because I have to figure out what it is that I was.

watching and like really digest it. So like I rewind a lot. Mm-hmm. Same with my husband. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. It's reminding me of my kid because she's always scared to watch things she hasn't seen before because she doesn't know what's going to happen or what's going to come. Is it a fear or yeah? It's like an anxiety fear that she's worried she'll get scared or not like what she sees. That's interesting. Mm-hmm. I never thought of it like that and I don't think that's what it is, but I can. So shut up about it. I'm just like comparing you to my eight-year-old.

But I do connect to that because I watched, when I was younger, I watched Araknowphobia. Oh, yeah. John Goodman. What's that? John Goodman. I don't even remember who's in it.

He's in it. A friend of mine just sent me a clip of John Goodman in Roseanne last night. He's re-watching Roseanne. Oh, really? But he must have not been as funny in arachnophobia. because I still look under the toilet seats before I go to the bathroom

and I got scared and then I did that with Pet Cemetery. Oh, that was a good one. Holy shit, did that fuck me up? That fucked my friend in elementary school showed me that movie and it has still fucked me up for life. Yeah?

Are you ever? I haven't been, I'm not as scared as I used to be but I'm not. But there are some times where I'm not even thinking about being scared. I'm just doing my thing and I'm walking around, turn the lights off, whatever.

I'm good. And then a pet's something, and then I run up the steps, you know. And I can't have my feet off the bed. It just hits you sometimes. So I'm connecting, I'm wondering like, oh, is this going to scare me? I don't consciously think about that. But that was something like I can't watch something that might, I would not watch Pet Cemetery today.

I'm sure if I did, it doesn't hold up. No, but still, I couldn't do it. Nope. That movie in particular or did movie in particular? That one. What's that? I could. You could watch it?

Yeah. I like to be scared though I like it It's like spicy food It's like I want it But like I don't want it to hurt me Do you remember Zelda? I think it was Zelda

The girl When they opened the door And there was this girl like On her knees or something I don't know that I saw the movie You never saw the movie Zelda? No no no no

No In Pet Cemetery If I met the video game I was like I don't know what you're talking about Yeah no You remember that? I don't remember it

I haven't seen it in so long But traumatizing I was at my parents' house a few months ago. And my moment scared, I hadn't been scared in a bit. And I went downstairs to get a glass of water. And I used to, when I was a kid, I would go downstairs, but you would go downstairs.

And it was easy to go down the stairs because you could look to see where there's always a cat somewhere down there. And the cats could see the ghoul. So if a cat's fine, I'm fine. And then I would go out and get the water. It's like the flight attendant on a plane. Go ahead. Yep.

Yeah. You're welcome. I do that too. Yeah. Did you hear that or did you figure that out? No, I just figured it out. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Is a flight attendant okay? I do that all the time. All the time. What a funny observation. So yeah, I was filling up a glass of water and I wasn't even thinking about it going down the steps. But when I was going upstairs, I didn't see a cat. And I just, you know, I'm 23.

I'm like an adult. And I just ran. I got really good at running, keeping my hands straight. without spilling the water. But that unlocked and like, it's been a few months. I've been like three, four times. I just get scared at night sometimes. Yeah.

Well, you spook yourself. I do it all the time. From my car to my door. Oh, forget it. When you're home? Yeah. Yeah. Anywhere.

Is it ghoul spooks or is it like somebody's going to real spooks? Yeah, probably like murder. Probably like real people murdering. Right. Which is on your theme song. I'm not scared of, yes. Yeah. I'm not scared to like ghosts or ghouls.

Bragging. Oh, really? Yes, I am. I'm bragging. Just spiders and pets. I'm not scared of spiders. I was wondering though, why are kids? I have the biggest spider right now.

If you saw it, would you freak out you? What do you mean? Why'd you point? What do you mean? It's outside. Yeah. It's a thing? Yeah, but I also, I don't kill them.

No, I don't ever kill them. Well, you're not scared of them. That's true. But they say you're supposed to kill Black Widows. Oh, dude. Sometimes I'll put it in a cup and I'll be yelling. Just, you know, get a piece of, cardboard to cover the cup.

And then you take it outside? Oh, yeah. That's nice of you. Yeah. And you're scared. I'm really scared. That's a great thing. But that's a different kind of scared.

That's a real fear. Okay. What's a fake fear? Goals. Well, maybe. I think it's a different place in my brain. Goals, like monsters? Goals is anything that, like, is there that I can't see.

Oh, like, supernatural. Like spirit shit. No. No. No. Okay. Right now, what happened when you said spider? Like, like, Rick, you're fine.

Yeah. There's no threat in front of me. Right. But just even thinking about it. Yeah. Gives you the. Yeah. So that.

Okay. So knowing that like, like, I get a bed frame that is closed. Right. So I don't have to think about when I'm standing, like sitting on my bed. That something's going to grab me or. Closed. Like, you know, like on the floor. Like, it's not lifted.

Yes. You can't, nobody could go under the bed. Interesting. No one can go under my bed. Now that I think about it. Is that a challenge? that. No, but I'm actually that you, yours, you can. I asked my son to get what, he wanted water last night as he was going to sleep. And he's like, you need to get it for me. I'm too scared.

I'm like, what are you scared of? And he's like, monsters. I'm like, there's no such thing as monsters. I'm going to turn the hall light on. You go and you just hear him. DART! Like he runs so fast and runs back at the speed of like... With no water left in the glass. No, he has water. He was running into walls. Yeah. But I was thinking about it and I'm like, why are kids so scared? Like, what is that?

Because of what they watch? No, but I don't think so. I could break this down for you. Please do. Okay. You actually, you guys were talking, there was an episode, I think, was Ellie Kemper, I was listening about how kids don't, she was saying how kids have no control. And, like, that's why they throw tantrums and stuff.

Fear and things you're afraid of oftentimes is something that you have accepted or not accepted. You believe that you can't control it. A monster is going to be able to take me and, you know, do things to me. Eat you or eat me. Yeah, I didn't know what kind of what I'm allowed to talk about. You're allowed to say any. But some men's monsters do like really bad things. Yeah.

Some humans. That you've experienced? No, I've heard, but like my people close to my life. of experience, you know. And it's like you feel like you can't do anything about it. And like, how do I kill this monster? You know, like, do you have to go for the eyes? What do you do? So my advice would be, instead of denying the reality of monsters is to say, you know, you can say, I don't, I don't think maybe, you know, who knows or months, but like, I do know this. Like, I know how to kill a monster. I like that. Yeah. I like that a lot. Like, hey, I'm going to hit you to

something. I'm going to help you because I know how to kill a monster. I like that. It's like punching a shark in the nose. I don't know if that works, but it helps you. It helps mentally. I know what to do. Yeah, because I don't say ghosts aren't real because I don't know if I believe that. So instead I'm like, I've been looking for ghosts my whole life. If you find one, please come get me because I would love to see it. Wait, you you you think ghosts might be real, but you don't believe in monsters, even in this business in L.A.? We'll be right back. But what would you say? Like if you're like, and they ask you.

Well, you find out what they're, what are they picturing? Oh. What monster are you thinking of? Yeah. And then I'll tell you. What type of monster do you think? I mean, he draws him. He draws some pretty outlandish monsters with like multiple eyeballs and horns.

Multiple weak spots. Multiple weak spots. Look how you're spinning this. Yeah. This is fucking correct. And you don't have kids. Well, I don't think. Have you done 23 and me?

Yeah, I just talked about this on a podcast recently and looked up at recent because this was years ago, I did it and a first cousin like, oh my gosh, we have so many people in common. That first cousin, I want to make a connection. Her dad was your dad's writing partner. What?

Paul de Mayo. Wait, are you talking to Miranda or Annabella? Miranda. Wait, are you guys actually related? Miranda's mom is my dad's sister. Lauren. Lauren. Yeah.

What? Wait. I don't get to say this much with a small world. Oh my God, wait, that's so, that's so crazy. Yeah. Well, Paul, obviously, I know them all extremely well. I've heard of and I've known of you for years. That's so weird. Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me that in the beginning? I knew it was going to come up. Okay. And then we start, you're like, you're like, guess my weight, you fuck. And I'm like, all right, all right, all right. I want to talk about my uncle at the moment who, you know, we miss in love very much. But like, you know.

Wait, I'm dying. Guys, do you know my dad? Uh-huh. You do? Yeah. Not very well. Your last name is Lauren's last name. Yeah. This is all making sense.

I have actually had your dad on my podcast years ago. What? Yeah. Oh my God, that's so funny. And did Miranda and about, I think Miranda and someone wrote like a treatment and a thing. Yeah, I know that they were writing something. I don't know where it stands at the moment. They sent it to me. I feel like I read it. It was a while ago, though.

Let's read it out. Let's do it right now. Let's do it right now. Just do a whole bunch of characters. Wait, that's so... Let's do a live reading. This is like crazy. We are supported by Spider Grip. Ho, ho! Hold your phone and never drop it again with Spider Grip. The phone grip that won't slip.

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Two-E-E-R-I-P-I-P-R-I-P. Use code ideas at checkout and get 30% off and free shipping. Happy Holidays from SpiderGrip. Broad Ideas is supported by Blissie. So I have been sleeping on my Blissie pillowcase, and let me tell you, I didn't know a pillowcase could make such a difference in my sleep and in my hair. It's time to upgrade your sleep with Bliss' award-winning 100% mulberry silk pillowcases. The holidays are just around the corner, and if you're looking for the

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Blissy.com slash Rachel and get an additional 30% off. That's B-L-I-S-Sy.com slash Rachel and use code Rachel to get an additional 30% off. Give yourself the gift of a good night's sleep with Blissie. The first pitch I ever did, and I haven't done many, but like, it was, I say that because it's like, I have no experience with this. It was, let's say, 10 years ago, I was 13, and it went to Comedy Central, and I wrote with a friend of mine, this script, and I had really great energy, and I was going in and, like, we're doing this thing, and then there was just a moment of nobody talking. And I, uh, I hadn't really had enough experience of, of a downbeat, I guess, and I just went into complete. I got cold and I didn't know what to say. So I said, why don't we just read it? And nobody said no.

It was and like, and you know, it's, it was like probably, I don't know, 28 pages or something. And then I was like doing bits. I was doing bits of like, no, this character would do this and this voice. Like trying to like like like be fun during it. And they were all doing it. And I didn't think much of it in the moment of. Other than like, oh, I was embarrassed and I did something that was kind of odd. And then, I don't know, eight years later, something, somebody told me, oh, I ran into Ian such and such and blah, blah, blah. And they were talking about the craziest pitch they ever had and they brought you up. And I was like, oh, I forgot about that.

And he said, he made us read the script in the room. I forgot. That just made you think of it. Can we read my script now? Let's, let's meet it. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Yeah.

That one hit. That one hit hard. I totally feel that in that room. Oh, my God. I had a good pitch once. This was a good pitch. We went, my business partner and I at the time went to Untitled Entertainment. We went to see a friend that worked there that was an assistant.

Okay? Just go visit our friend who's an assistant. And we had a deck of something we had wanted to pitch. We wanted her to read it. She's an assistant. We thought maybe you could help us one day. It's you're in. We go to the front.

And we say, oh, we're here for so-and-so. And they're like, okay, well, we had a power outage. So I have to walk back and get them. And we're like, okay, so everything was like chaotic and weird. So instead of her walking out to get us, it's her boss. Okay? And he's like, come on in. He doesn't know who the fuck we are.

And we looked at each other and we're like, let's fucking go. Oh, my God. hitched him and he's sitting there the whole time being like, who the fuck are these people? And then he walked us in and partnered us with someone. He was like, I'm going to take you to so-and-so. I think this is a great idea. And that's how Breaking Bad was made. And that's how Breaking Bad was made.

Yeah, but that was a fun pitch. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. I was waiting tables and Kevin James was eating at the restaurant. And I remember I wanted to as a joke I had a script with me And I wanted as a joke to pretend it was mine And say hey would you read this

And I chickened out and I've thought about it many times since I'd like I could have got a good laugh out of him So you didn't do it No you're still thinking about it Would I do it now? Yeah If Kevin if I was waiting tables and I had a script No just like doing it now

And getting it to Kevin James the same script No No it wasn't my script Oh it was it Like, I was just reading a script. Like, I'm reading a joke. Like, hey, would you read, like, would you read my script? Um, but if I ever had it on a podcast, I would maybe bring that up.

You absolutely have to. Yeah. Bring that up. What restaurant was it? I was wondering the same thing. I needed a visual. You could talk me into telling you, but I want to tell you my initial thought. For some reason, I felt like I shouldn't say, who cares?

Yeah. It's called Larson's Steakhouse in Encino. Oh, my God. Yeah. Great. I've eaten there. Yeah. We're valid.

Absolutely. I mean, yeah. There's one in one. Why did you not want to say? I don't know, but I'm very, there are some thing, I make up my own rules. I fly by the seed in my own pants. And sometimes something feels like I shouldn't reveal it. And I don't necessarily know why, but I don't do it until I check in.

That's cool. My cousin, a different cousin. Take breaks. Take breaks in life as well. My cousin, a different cousin sent me her wedding invitation. Yeah. And I gave her my P.O. box address. Okay.

Because I didn't know if she was putting addresses into some thing. And you're like, I don't want a mass amount of people having my address? I just felt uncomfortable giving. Is this, if this was her, right? Wait, you have a P.O. box? I got a P.O. box. Listen, I'm not very famous. And, but there's something that, like, even before I had a podcast. Yeah.

You know, as if I was going to say, I'm a king. I just had a fair amount of friends that, that, like, would be stopped. And it always, I thought it was cool that people wanted to meet them. And I thought it was nice that they were celebrated. But it was a big turnoff for me. It was always very, like, oh. Yeah. And then, like, like, putting people touching you and just, like, knowing things about you.

I feel this way about having a podcast. I know you, I've heard you guys talk about this before, about like you don't think you're you're just talking in a room and then people know things and they deduce things about you. But I was just like, I don't want people knowing things about me. That's fair. And one of the first things was, let me not, doctor's offices, I don't want to give them my address because it's on file with my name somewhere and who knows who has access to it. It's definitely a paranoid thing. I shred everything. You shred everything. I shred everything. I shred things that are direct mail pieces that don't say my name.

It says resident. Because if I put it in the garbage, what if they're going to find the thing I blew my nose in and clone me? You know what I mean? I don't know. Do you have OCD? Thank you for asking, but yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's interesting to me. Yeah. Because I feel like I can go there in my brain and then you keep going and going. But like I think I stop myself. Keep out your address? I'm not talking about my address. I'm talking about like the mental pattern of like going down the line of like what could happen.

You, um, do you have experience with weird shit too? Because I have to imagine you have experienced some weird shit like that. I've had some weird shit. Do we not want to open the door? I won't say specifically about like one weird thing, but like definitely weird things. Like I got sent a Nintendo Switch. randomly as a present. I wouldn't put that at the top of the list of something bad.

I didn't say bad. People have her face tattooed on their body. Yeah, that's wild. If that gives you any indication of the kind of things. I haven't met those people. No, I know you haven't. But I'm just saying like that's just a tip of the iceberg. Like a friend of mine has multiple tattoos of Jane Smith on him from a prank.

Like one of them on the thigh, no joke, it's this big. That's amazing. So I'm just saying, and he's a great guy. But that's, right. I'm not saying it's a bad person. They're all pranks. They lost a bet and they had to get my face tattooed. Definitely.

I don't see that's what it is. I'm sure they wanted to get your face. I'm just saying, you never know. I think that's absolutely what happened. When you see that, is that flatter you or weird you out? I don't know. I don't think it weird to me. It's interesting.

Did you like the picture? It's been a while since I've seen it. There's multiple. Yeah. Yeah. That's a wild thing. Right? I just don't know like the commitment people have to like that kind of stuff, you know?

Yeah. Like I don't know in 40 or whatever that that's what you have on your body is still going to just cover it, I guess. Turn it into something else. Yeah. You could always tattoo over it with something else. Yeah. A different picture of you. It's probably no different picture of me.

Sometimes I would stand up. They make flyers and they Google search you and they take a picture. Are you guys okay with Berk? Love it. We love it. We're okay with all things. No, we're good. And there are some, I feel like everybody has, there's some pictures online where they go like,

that's not my favorite picture. But that tends to be used a lot in the flyers. Like, I don't like that picture. But, you know, you pick and choose. We were like, hey, can we take that picture down? I don't, whatever, it is what it is. Yeah. But if somebody Googled me and decided to get a tattoo of me where it's something.

And it's that. And it's one of those bad pictures. And I saw that I would probably be like, I would like, could you like. Can we do a redo? Yeah. So if you're going to tattoo me, ask me. I'll sit for you. Yeah.

Can we redo this? Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had any weird stuff happen to you? Or is it all just precautionary? I don't know. I don't like, I'm interested in your stories. Oh.

I don't know. Oh. That means you know. He's checking in. He's checking in. He's checking in on it. Let us know if it's a whole thing you want to share. Let's pause.

Let me take a look in the fridge. Yeah. I don't know. Also, weird is like some things, you don't, some things you, that's weird. Whether it is or not, you know, like, if I got a Nintendo Switch sent to me to my PO box and a person had messaged me, hey, dude, I heard you talking about this and I want to send it, I would be like, oh, that's so nice. Yeah. If I didn't get the message or if I just got a message when someone's saying, I'm sending a Nintendo Switch.

and like their avatar was just an egg. And then I would be like, what the fuck is this? And I'd be convinced that like, this has been modified in some way where there's a microphone in the Nintendo Switch to where now I don't even want to re-gift it to somebody because that's not fair.

So what do I do with it? And it feels so wasteful. And I would keep it outside. You know, because I can't throw it away. I mean, But that's actually smart. Like that would have never crossed my mind. No.

I'd be like, oh, a Nintendo space. Me too. I wouldn't, never would have crossed. Like, of course, why would they not put a camera in there? That's why if I say, everybody, listen. See, you were giving me newfound fears. Mike. You're like, you're helping us.

Mike, you're giving me newfound fears. Oh, no, I feel safer. Those are the same things. But it's like a fucking exhausting. Yeah. My grandma has so many superstitious things. never put a hat on a bed. You have heard that one?

Yes, of course. We're very in tune with superstitions. So when she tells, when I hear them, I sometimes adopt them. So like don't tell me these things. Right. Right. Because if you don't know, then you worry about it. So that was kind of my point of like, oh, you're unlocking these things.

It seems like you could take this. You're like, fuck you to your son. You know, goblins aren't real. You know, none of this stuff. Like that's a very, that's a great. place to be. Right. Yeah. I think, you know, my mom has programmed me to like not, with the superstitious stuff too. She'd just be like, just don't buy into it. You know? Do you put your purse on the ground? Yeah. Oh, you do? She tells me not to put my purse on the ground, but that's not superstition.

That's just. Yeah. Well, it says that's where your money's going to go. I never heard that before. Thank you. That's why you don't put your purse on the ground. See? Now I'm hearing all these things and now I take them on. You'll put it up. I'll still put it on the ground. Well, yeah, so when somebody comes over, my place, if it's a woman, typically, and she has a purse or a bag, I ask if it's a floor bag or not. Not for superstitious reasons, but like, if it's a floor bag, then you could put it on the floor. Because then they'll take a floor bag and they'll put it on the couch and it's like, it's a floor bag. It's a floor bag. It's been on the floor. Do women come in and say, this is a couch bag? I find, found that they don't think about. They don't think about.

floor bags are not. Most don't. So they'll go like this. Like, I mean, if I ask if you, is this a floor bag? They'll, a lot of times we'll go, no, because they don't know what that means. I'm saying, do you put this on the floor? They go, yeah. I go, all right, can we, can we just keep it on the floor? You want it on the floor. Instead of the couch. Because of the germs and the dirt. Yeah. That's not a superstition thing as much. It's just like. Yucky. Yeah. So I get not putting a purse on a floor. Are people even listening to this anymore? I feel like I'm coming to my best stuff. Oh my, no, this is actually, this is the shit they love. We talk about. I love it. I'm like, I've never heard. No one in my life has ever been like, is that a floor bag? I put my purse on the

floor the other day for two minutes outside in the hallway and I, I knew it was there and I was like, I can't fucking do it. And I had to excuse myself and go move it and put it up. So money's good right now then. Yeah, I love it being high. Yeah. You know, I didn't want to fuck with that. I never knew that that was the meaning, though. But a floor bag would be like shoes, a duffel bag. Do you people? Do you Something like sleepover bags. Yeah. Those aren't purses. So the wallet's not in them.

They can go on the floor. Anything that's been on the floor. Stays on the floor. Or I, um, uh, so I have, my podcast is called take your shoes off. Mm-hmm. Oh, I was just going to say, I bet everyone has to take their shoes. Yeah, which is kind of like a gateway, a gateway rule. Mm-hmm.

People get, take your shoes off. Sure. And while I'm explaining the rules, let me tell you a couple other things. I have like a blanket down on the couch and a tray. Like keep stuff on. It's, um, outdoor stuff. Anything that's been on the floor outdoor. I get, I'm weirded out with in my place.

Yeah. So like traveling bags. That's all been airports. Yeah. I wipe, I wipe the wheels down whenever I, like. How did you do the pandemic? Brutal. It was rough.

Yeah. It was, uh, Yeah, I had really bad OCD as a kid. Like the type of OCD where it's not just like turning your cup. Yeah, like what? Can you talk about it? I mean, it would take me, I remember putting clothes on was always very tough because I had to keep doing it. And I remember my mom would always wake me up.

And once I woke up before my mom woke me up and I had like 15 minutes before I knew my mom was going to wake me up. So I'm going to surprise her. I'm going to get dressed. because it takes me so long. And then when she says time to get up, I'll be like, take the covers off. Look at this, Ma. And it took me the whole time just to get my socks on. And I remember, and then my mom was coming in, and I hid in bed.

She goes, time to get up. And I still like, look. And I showed her that I had my socks on. And my mom didn't know that it took me this long to do this stuff. I had told it. I just thought it takes a long time to put socks. That was when I first realized. And she goes, what?

And I go, I got my socks on. And I confessed to her how long it took. And that was the first time I realized, oh, it doesn't take people that long. I would just. You remember that. that moment. Yeah, I remember when I found out that not everybody does that stuff.

I don't know, but like around fifth grade, probably. Okay. So that was a little bit older. Yeah. Yeah, because it wasn't always, like, it manifests in different things. And then like that, the socks thing was a couple years. I used to do a lot of

twitches and have to touch stuff and do stuff. One was, I would have to hop all the time. and people would like call me out for it. So I found a trick and I told my grandma and I said, I found a good way of hopping. And she didn't even know that I hopped. And I said, whenever I need to, I just could get out of a conversation.

And I'll see you later. And you hop your way out. I want to hop my way out. And she said, why hop at all? And I was like, that's another one. Oh. So all of these things. So does it translate?

Because this is very, like I just want to talk, if you're okay to talk about it. But like, does it translate into like germ stuff? Like, if you're hooking up with someone, like, are you OCD about kissing or,

you know, being physical with someone? Like, how does it translate into that? Good question. Thank you. So yes to germs, but it's not as logical as germs.

During the COVID, I could talk about how that translated in a second, but like hooking up with somebody. No. I mean, like, you know, I mean, other than being safe, like the classic way, like, make sure she doesn't have any weapons when you're fucking her. But like...

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about it feels dirty to me, no pun intended. But there was a moment where a girl came over and we were going to do some things, whatever. She put her purse on the bed. And I... And you were done. I thought I was done. We took a break. He likes breaks. But like this, like, there's other dirtier stuff than the bag. But like, I have subscribed to the bag. But like, I have subscribed to the bag is not okay. Like you have these rules that like it's not germs because there's other things dirtier. Right. But like hats, bags, they're not allowed on the bed. So it's just these things. So when I was a kid, there was tons of them that I have since gotten better at. And then like, how do you get better at? Like is it like immersion therapy mostly. I'm allowed to be scared of a

spider, but don't stop that from putting it in the cup and taking it outside. You know, like, people still, this isn't just related to OCD, but people like talk about, like, stand up and I get nervous all the time still. I'm doing it for 14 or so years. People talk about being scared about stuff and they'd be like, you don't, don't be scared or don't be nervous. And like, I don't connect to that. I am scared.

I am nervous, but don't let that, like, control, don't let that stop me from doing the thing. Yep. And once you kind of accept that I'm supposed to be nervous, it's easier. I could be nervous, and at least I'm present as a nervous person as opposed to pretending I'm not. So like, I'm allowed to be touching this stuff. I'm allowed to be doing this stuff. I gave myself that right as opposed to things I had been told, which is just stop, just don't. But then when you're able to, sometimes don't or touch it less.

Let the socks be uncomfortable. Eat without washing your hands. One of the things I would do is I understand. in why you should wash your hands, but it was getting to a point where it was ridiculous. So I went to, I was at a restaurant and I'm like, I'm not going to wash my hands. So I would eat the food and then I would not eat the part that I touched. So I would eat down to where I, but like it just made things easier. Yeah, steps. So for years I was like having a conversation with myself, Rick, it's fine. Everything is fine. You don't have to do this. And then COVID happened. And then like the CDC and

everyone was saying, no, you were right, Rick. You're not supposed to do this. And I got so confused. And like, who do I listen to? Do I listen to Kid Rick or Adult Rick? And I just regressed to everything. And it was just, and I was taking on all the things that they were suggesting. I was getting my food, my groceries delivered. And I was washing everything. I was in soap and water. I'm washing bags of chips. Right. You too? Oh, yeah. Massively. I wouldn't, I would let them sit outside for three days, then wash them down before I even brought them in the house. Next level. It's, it was, it was really taxing. And then I was having panic attacks and then I would have panic attacks when I had my frozen food come. So I'd be crying, washing my popsicles.

And like, but that, you know, like I didn't leave for maybe a year and a half. It wasn't just that month of thing. And I did my podcast. When your dad came on, he did it. It was during this time. It was literally, I'm inside. All my guests are outside on a balcony. Windows closed.

Wires going around. You can't hear anybody without headphones. Right. I had guests that I told beforehand. but like you can't use my bathroom. And they had to climb up and down a balcony. And like I had a, Sosie Bacon was on.

I don't know if you know who that is, but I feel like that. Yeah, she's amazing. And she had a pee and she climbed down the balcony and peed. And like you make a joke out of it. But yeah, it was, yeah, yeah. It's not logical. It wasn't even thinking you're going to give me COVID.

It wasn't COVID. It was just like, this is a new rule. Right. And you have to listen to your rules. I've ever articulated it that way before. Yeah. Interesting. It's like, yeah, it's, I guess it's like a religion in a way. Like, these are the commandments that you just blindly follow. Yeah. That's exactly the way it's described is it's these rules and it doesn't have to make sense anymore. It's that it was established and you have to

abide by it, right? Yeah. And for, for 20 years, I was, you know, I understand that another, my age bit's broken. But, I was like, I was like policing those rules and like breaking them down and why they're not true. And then like that turned out like, nope, this is like you don't believe in ghosts and everything and you're good. And then all of a sudden you see a ghost or a monster or something. You're like, wait a minute. Yeah, right.

This was all fucking real. Right. Right. And still I've gotten so much better, but it's worse than it. My OCD is still significantly worse than it was before COVID came. And like, I still have to like. Like what I did with, what was it, we were talking about, the restaurant. It's the same spot in my brain where I'd be like, wait and what, is this okay?

Right. And like I'm doing that a lot now. And it's exhausting. How does that show up in relationship? It's tough. I believe it's tough for my girlfriend as well. Have you been with her like, did you go through the pandemic with her? So I dated a girl somebody else for.

two plus years. She lived in London and I was there and then I flew home the beginning of March and she was coming the next week and then lockdown happened during that time.

So like there was six months or so without. So I was living alone. And I think we had only been dating for a few months at that point. I think having six months of her not having to live with me

but being a support system helped her better understand without it affecting her life. Which is kind of an interesting way to ease in. My current girlfriend, we've been together since officially February and she's very, I guess, understanding of it.

But like, I don't know, I just like there are, I'm trying to censor like giving examples. Nothing bad. Nothing bad. I'm just like, just, there's a moment here where it's like,

oh, how much of my personal life do I want to get into? But like, I know that like I, I challenge her in ways that I appreciate her willingness to be, to take that on. Do you live together? No.

Okay. No. Long distance. Oh. So when we are together, like from the beginning before, like, a long distance relationship is you guys are either literally living together or you're not together at all. So there is no grace period of like, I'll come over for a few hours.

Right, right. If you need your space or I need my space. So you kind of force in the situation where like, so she comes over and we get it now. We're kind of in a pocket, but like when things were new, she would still like be staying at my place. And I have a, uh, These are now my pants and my shirt. These are outdoor pants and shirts. But they're not necessarily needing to be washed every time. But when I get home, I need to take these off and I keep them with my outdoor stuff. Which means if I'm going to go get a coffee and sit down, like I'll have to think like if I sit down, now these shorts are outdoor shorts.

She doesn't think about that. But now I have to let me head. You're like, those are your out. You're like, put babe, those are your outdoor. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And I try my best to not, not saying what you said was condescending, but almost in a way, like,

those are outdoor shorts now. It's like, okay. Like, it's manipulative. It's controlling. I'm telling her, I'm not asking her how to help me be safe. I'm telling her what I need. And that's appropriate and necessary in a relationship. But, you know, pick your needs because she should not be and cannot be responsible for meeting all of them.

Right. But at the same time, I cannot have you staying in my home without these things. So does she meet you? She does. And I also, I have found ways of making it more palatable. Okay. For example, I have made chairs in my place, outdoor chairs inside. That's you meeting in the middle.

That's meeting. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm, I would say that she has to meet me. She's, she meets you more than you meet her. She's meeting me a little more in my home. Right. Only in my home. Yeah, yeah.

But like she comes over, like, if she has a flight in and she gets in at midnight, there has been a time where she didn't shower and then I just washed my bed the next day and that's fine too. But like she's going to shower. We take off our, you know, like, I mean, like you come in from the plane, the plane to me. You walk in. Let's take off your clothes. Nice to meet you, by the way. Take off your clothes. You know what I mean?

And like, so, yeah. Yeah. There are other things sometimes if we're at restaurants and things are facing a certain way. Most of the time I don't say anything, but sometimes I have to. And then I don't have to find moments where like, where's her safe space? She has her things. Am I encroaching? And then I try and use language like, hey, I'm feeling a little anxious today. There's some things that could maybe help. Is this something that you're open to? And I think that's the right thing, but then I don't know if I'm putting her on the spot. And I've just noticed in this relationship in particular, I've become more aware of how much are my things bleeding into hers. And it has been making me try and do it less. But then I'm swallowing more and I'm in my head more with it.

And it's just an unusual obstacle in a relationship where it's like some people, it's about like what religion are we going to raise the kids? and where would you like to live? And mine is like, what kind of pants are we going to be wearing today? And it's just, it's probably a bit exhausting. But that's you, that's you, right? That's your truth. That's your life.

It's me as a 2020. And it's me as a kid. Right. But it's you. Yeah. But it's you. And she knows. She's aware and you're very openly communicative about it.

Arguably too much. But yeah. Right. Well, but she's opting in. right? Yeah. So. I just don't like it.

So you, I don't want to say struggle, but like you have conflicts within yourself about the things. I'm asking. I'm not. Yeah. No, I understand. I'm just feeling, I'm just getting, like, you know, having some feels about it. Yeah. Yeah.

If it's too much, we don't have. No, no. It's nice. Uh, there were things that I came into some awareness about it, about myself. six or seven years ago that I didn't like and I didn't know. I didn't realize how I was making people feel and some of the choices and the risks I was taking comedically wasn't just gambling on a joke but making people uncomfortable. And like it gave me this taste of like oh, like I don't

know if I go back and apologize. It was nothing like grotesque but just like oh and it was um I don't know if shame is the right word but it's definitely in that family. Like, it was like, this needs to change. And I made real, real conscious effort to do it, asking lots of questions, lots of therapy. There was a period in my life where I was saying sorry a lot, which I didn't need to be saying preemptively. Sorry, by the way, if I'm clearing my throat too much. Like, I could acknowledge it in a way. I was just giving an example. Right. Like, I could acknowledge you're way. I was like, wait, you're not. I know. But like, I'm not going to get you. I was just making like needing to validate and check in because I realize that people oftentimes people don't

know how they really feel let alone feel comfortable enough to tell you how they feel they're just to be like yeah things are good yeah enjoy yourself don't worry about it right um and then I got to a point where I was not only was I accepting of my quirks and the things I was I really love who I am and I'm you know and I have a better idea of where the line is not to cross and and I was really proud of myself. And then something happened where it then brought me back again to like, this one I can't fix. Like, I could not make as many jokes. I could check in with how people feel. I could recognize that when people squint, maybe like they're feeling something that they're not expressing verbally. This one I'm really struggling with. So it's like, I don't like some things about me. And I,

yes, this is who I am and she's accepting of it. But like, I'm just like, fucking. I make bits about it, you know? Like, I make jokes about it, and that makes it, I think, easier for me to feel safe. But then I'm just exhausted from like, I don't want to make a joke about this. Just bring clean socks when you come to my house. You know, I have so many socks now to give people. And I have so many bits with the socks. And then people are just like, some people don't want to wear somebody else's sock.

and like, but you have to. And I'm telling you what you have to do. And I just, yeah, I don't know. I haven't been able to beat this one. Right. I think it's so amazing, though, that you're, you talk so openly about all of it. Yeah.

Because I know I'm sure there's a lot of people that, I mean, I know there's a lot of people that can relate, and I know there's a lot of people that don't know how to talk about it. Yeah. Right? Of course. Also, I think the key that you keep hitting on, which I think is the most important part,

and I'm sure you've worked on this for years, but the word that you keep saying is safe. And there's something that, it's like me as a mom, like it makes me want to cry for you. I'm like, I want him to feel safe, you know? And there's some sort of safety that I've noticed with people with any form of OCD.

I had it not as much in behavior, but in obsessive thinking, like to the point of really needing help. And what it came down to is just this deep craving for safety and all of those things that you're doing. You're not doing them to be difficult or to impose what you think is right or wrong. You're doing it because you want to feel safe. And I think that when you communicate that to people, it's a lot easier for them to change their socks. Yeah.

You know? And also for you to know that like I feel. safe. Like, I feel safe if their socks are dirty, trying it, right? Like, trying those kind of safety tools. But I want to say it's more so when people come over with shoes without socks. It's more than I meant. Oh, like this. Yeah, which is fine in any place but my house. Let me ask you. Yeah, no, I was going to ask you that because I had sandals on so I don't have socks on. Does that make you feel uncomfortable? No. Bare feet, nothing is wrong or makes me, when I leave my house,

The OCD is real small. I've kind of packaged it. Oh, it's just in your home. It's not just in my home, but it's significantly different. Got it. Like, I will play in the dirt. I say that metaphorically and literally. Like, that's all great.

But then when I go home, everything's being changed. I'm showering. I'm cleaning my glasses. Right. Like, there's a lot to do. So I a lot of times have difficulty leaving my house because of what that means when I have to come back in. Is it worth going to this little thing?

have to do 45 minutes. But yeah, it's really just in my home. And that's where I podcast. And that's where I meet and get to know most people. So people know me where I am like, ah, you know, and I'm selling myself that. Well, it's the name of your podcast. Right. How do you feel about this?

Because this is something that creeps me out. You're at the airport. You've got to go through security. TSA pre-check. You don't take your shoes off. I don't fucking have it. I know. You're a celebrity.

you're a celebrity you have people sending you Nintendo switches yeah you have tattoos of you on your face yeah exactly I don't get shit done I need I need it okay but all the people in their bare feet and they're walking and it grosses me out yeah so what I would do is have have my security socks and then change them after right because once you put those in your shoes right but I got TSA pre-check and that was smart that was part of it Well, that was, there's much more conveniences, but the reason I did it was because of that. I don't want to take my shoes off. Yeah. I can relate.

Also, when I fly, I want to take my shoes off, I will get a blanket and put it down on the ground. So I'm standing on the blanket. Because otherwise, I feel like, well, what happens when I go home and I have my socks on? Right. And as much as that may make sense to some people and may not to other, the, the taxing part of that is how many of those things I kind of just realize constantly. And then when I have, you know, like when I'm traveling with my girlfriend or even when we're just together in the same place, like, hey, I just came up with another fucking thing.

We got to do. Could we get a phone soap? So when we go home, do you guys know my phone soap? No, what's that? The thing that you put in the box? No running shark tank. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know if it works. Someone got it. What is it? I have it. It's this box that you put your phone in keys or whatever. supposedly like blue light. Yeah, it's ultraviolet light. Like, 10 minutes, it gets rid of the germs.

All germs. I don't know if it does, and it doesn't matter to me because I've decided you do that, you're fine. Right, right. But it's a mental thing, too. It's all what's in your head. All of it. Yeah.

I do the headrest thing. Like, I don't want to go to the movie theaters because I don't have my head on the back of the chair. So I have things. Oh, yeah. So what do you do? Do you not go to movies? Well, I don't go to movies.

But on an airplane, I have a hood or a scarf. But lately, I'm like, I got to use up. a little and I'll have very high, you know, antibacterial wipes. And I do that first. Everywhere. Does this get in your way? No. What happens if you don't use your hood? Do you have to I don't have it where I'm totally not okay if, you know, those things don't have. I mean, I'd be pretty grossed out if I didn't have a wipe at least on a plane. Do you wipe everything? On the plane? Yeah. Always have even before COVID. So I'd like to make a suggestion to those that might want to adopt this. This was a very, very big one for me. One of the biggest ones. And it started with after COVID,

after a while, I finally started going back and doing stand-up. But after masks were already, people weren't caring. I'm still wearing a mask. Until I got on the stage, I would have, I had wipes with me. I would wipe the microphone down, which forced me to have my opening bit be about OCD. Just to acknowledge what they're seeing. I didn't like that, I didn't want that to be my opening bit. And I didn't like that this thing was controlling my act. So as a challenge, I'm like out loud, I'm saying, Rick, you're fine, buddy. We're going to wash our hands out. I've preferred that when I talk to me, I say we. And we're going to wash our hands after. And it's going to suck. And it's going to be fine. But just let's just see what it's like to do your act this way. And I did it.

And it was like a level was unlocked. Sometimes you have to keep doing stuff. this was one thing. I did it and I just didn't care. And then I wasn't wiping microphones down anymore. And then you got COVID. No, no. I had it before then, incidentally. But so I'm going on planes and I'm doing this and I'm wiping everything, everything, belt buckles, multiple things. And then I did it. And then I was able to get the seat that I wanted. So I had to go to this and I ran out of, I didn't have enough stuff. So I had to ask people for things. and I'm wiping down. And I was like, don't do this anymore. And the next time I said that same thing, just don't wipe. I didn't wipe anything down. Wow. And I haven't wiped anything down since.

One time I didn't wipe anything down. And it really like rewired me or whatever the science is to that. It wasn't even a gradual thing. I just didn't wipe it down. And I didn't love it, but you know, whatever. I burned all my clothes. But yeah. And I have it. I make it, I purposely. Like, it's not true. When we're eating, I wipe the tray down. That's it. What tray? You mean at your house?

No, in the plane. Oh, on a plane. For a second, I'm like, what restaurants are you bad? No, on a plane. But like, not doing the thing, I can't do that in my house, but out of the house. I found that not doing something. You're adapting. Yeah.

Yeah. That makes sense. Man, I know I talk a lot. I know I do. But I'm just becoming pretty self-conscious of like, I'm just fucking. talking here. No, what do you mean? We're asking you. First of all, we're asking you to talk. We're asking you questions. You're here to talk. Yeah. And you're answering. And this is like, I mean, we could honestly talk about this all day long because we, these are the kind of things we care more about

than anything is mental health and helping people feel a little bit less alone in anything that they may be going through. So you could have come here and talked about anything else and it wouldn't, of interest us as much as this. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. The truth. Yeah.

When I came into some awareness, it was mostly about, like, doing bits and being loud. And people not knowing if I'm joking or serious or not. And I'm kind of checking with like, I'm talking too much. I think talking about this kind of stuff and being reminded about how I don't know how people receive me is kind of like, oh, am I doing too much? And I know people do that. I know, I've noticed that women tend to more than men tend to apologize a lot. Yeah. For sure. And I like feel like I have a kind of, what are you sorry for? It's like, oh, I think I get it. I don't think they're sorry. I think they think you're supposed, you think you need to draw attention to what you're assuming somebody

might be thinking about you. Is that fair? Yeah. Like, yeah. I said, I said to an, now ex, I remember, she bumped into somebody, some bump into her or whatever. But like, it wasn't her fault. And she said, sorry. And I remember thinking, like, are you? I asked. And she just wanted to be polite. I go, and, and I suggested, try saying, like, excuse me instead of sorry. It's like you could acknowledge a thing without necessarily taking on shame or guilt about it. And I'm just now realizing,

oh, I have that in a different way. But you both said yes when I said having to say sorry and I'd love to hear thoughts on what you connected to with that. I was just thinking about this. And I don't know. I think I was apologizing for something. And I'm like, why am I always saying sorry? I'm not sorry.

It's just we use it as for everything. And I'm like, I was consciously aware and like, I want to change this. Yes. I want to stop apologizing. And it was even like back when I first started, there was another actor, Peter Gallagher, said to me because like after every-

The watermelon guy? The watermelon guy? I was a Gallagher joke. I'm sorry. Oh, Gallagher. Oh, yeah. He said, because I would always be like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

And he'd be like, you never apologize. And I was like, oh. Unless you have something. apologize for. No, I just never. Never. Shut up for a second. Yeah.

Yeah. It's something about feeling the need to take accountability, but it's not your need. It's a projected need that we've either learned or want people to believe. And it's, yeah, it's. It's a perfect example, though, someone bumping into you. You'd be like, oh, sorry, sorry. And you're like, you bumped into me. It's just an interesting thing that you programmed that way.

I saw something that wasn't these words, but like I adopted, I'm just going to paraphrase like what I took from it where like sorry is something that I will, I don't make promises. I have. I will. Typically I don't. I don't say LOL unless I really laughed out loud. Like there's some things where like they mean something. Yeah.

You know? And sorry is one of them. and there are things I saw where like if you're not instead of this isn't what I saw but this is what I took out of it. What I, what something I don't like about sorry is when I'm not, it forces the other person to be in a position to forgive me where I don't need to be forgiven. It's also a bit of a burden for them as opposed to thanking them for something that then they get instead of saying, sorry I've been talking so much to say, hey, thank you for giving me a space to talk. That's a great shift. Right. That one I like a lot.

Yeah. Because you did that earlier. You were like, oh, am I talking too much? That's why I was like, oh, stop doing that, but also stop talking so much. But this is fun. And I don't know you and the coffee is kicking in. You're here to talk. No, you're here to talk.

Yeah. My mom apologizes to her to the couch when she bumps into it. Is a joke? No. She's so apologetic. And I've watched her and I've been like, I need to make sure to be more. sacred with my apologies. And in our house, we have a rule. You don't say you're sorry unless you're willing to change a behavior or an action. So like, I'm not going to just say I'm sorry a bunch of

times and keep doing the same thing. Right. And so that's. You have like a rule, like you say I'm sorry and what I'll do better next time type of thing. Yeah. How could I have handled that different? How are your kids? Seven. He's going to be eight and four. It's more for my husband. October, right? October eight. Yeah. He's October eight. No. He's October eight. No. He's October eight. No. He's, He's, um, when is his, September 28th. Oh. Yeah. Sometimes I get it right and people are impressed.

I was like, where did you go? Because you said almost. I'm like, instead of just like he's about to be. Anyway, at that age, he knows how to do that. We're trying to model it for him first, that we're not just going to do things and say, sorry, but that when we have an apology, it's an actual amends, right? That means I'm going to amend the behavior. I'm going to do something.

different. And we don't, I try really hard not to say I'm sorry, but it's so natural. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Like, it's just so ingrained. I think in women, especially like you were saying, just, it's like a form of being polite. But it's really not. I think it's a form of being submissive more than polite. That's what it is. Yeah. And I like to be submissive. You know what? 118 pounds. Lower. Lower. 21. Lower. Lower. How old are you? 39. You're being serious. Yeah.

Today. What? Today's your birthday? No. I'm 39 today. Oh, oh, okay. It's a little birthday bit I have. No, I'm 39 today.

When is your birthday? July. Okay. July what? No, your business. See? Don't ask what month. I got the month.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Needing to submit is. is an interesting, interesting, tangible difference that I've noticed between men and women. Like men unwilling to submit. When it's just like, you don't have to control everything. And women being like, you know, like, whatever you want, baby, you know, they're supposed to be.

But then you start, like, submitting to things that you shouldn't. Or you start being like, or the opposite is putting your... foot down and not being willing to apologize or take accountability, like both ends of those things. Yeah. It's almost, it's instinctual. And that's why you got to take fucking breaks and think about like- Fucking breaks. I love that, though.

I think that's such a big takeaway for me is like taking breaks. But even when you gave the example of a movie or whatever, but if you're just checking in with yourself, I think, well, I know I could use that a lot because like I definitely sometimes just go without thinking it through properly. It gets me in trouble. but just check in. Well, is this an example you can't say online or something?

No, I don't know. Because you guys just shared a moment in something. Just because she knows that I say a lot of things. Get me in trouble. But it's important to check in with yourself. And I think that's such an important message. It's one of my superpowers, I think. But it's also part of what's so exhausting.

I would love to, you know, you develop a shorthand with yourself when you've been in this example, a certain example enough. But like, whenever I think, feel something like I realize like oh it's okay that I'm talking but like I felt something and I just like trying to check in and especially ask other people like what do you have about this but checking in whenever I feel anything uncomfortable is like has really helped me better understand why I how I'm feeling not necessarily why I can't always control it but to know why

you're feeling certain way and that's something that I want more from the people in my life. And I have these long conversations with people that are close. And a lot, that's why I said earlier, but people don't know how they're feeling. If you ask them, they might check in and be like, I'm all right, or I'm a little anxious, but like, you don't really know. So like, so what are we doing? What, what, I mean, like, when you have to ask people how you doing and they say, good, how are you? Like, I understand it's a pleasant tree. And I think, but like, you don't even know how you are. And I think where I'm not triggered right now, but I think why I'm like, yeah,

and here's my stance on this is, it's like when I found out how some people thought about me and some things that I had no fucking idea. And yeah, I have to keep my side of the street clean and I'm accountable for everything I should be, at least that I'm aware of. But like, if you don't tell me that I need, to have a coaster and I don't have that rule. And then you resent me for not using this coaster

because you were just being, I don't want to have to tell you. I was being a good host. I mean, this is such a low stakes example. But like, tell me. Yeah. But like they don't know. I've talked about this on my podcast before. And I always have to say that because it's like I get uncomfortable retelling stories. But like one of the things that kind of brought me into some of this awareness, I guess I would say the inciting incident to it at least was I was in this basketball game for a while for years. And the guy whose game it is told me, he sent me an email saying, hey, some of the guys in the game don't want you playing anymore. And you could come back, but just take a couple weeks off.

Think about it. And he gave some examples. And I was like, I was embarrassed. And also like, I'm a great basketball. What are you talking about? Everyone wants me here. It was so far off the way I thought. And like, I was embarrassed.

And I felt. bad and then when I came out the other end, I still like, I guess I could have not done those things, but I was like, why are they telling him? Why don't you just tell me what bothers you? I would at least then have the choice to say, okay, let me change or fuck off and I'll be the asshole. People don't tell you how they're feeling because either they don't know and or they don't want the confrontation. But so many people will build resentment either toward a person themselves a situation. And I have in a way, not taken on the role, but realize if I want the best out of my relationships, I'm going to have to lead in trying to see how other people feel.

And then that's been an interesting thing to navigate where, like, am I interrogating my girlfriend? Or am I just like trying to understand her better? Or am I trying to make her understand her better from a point of view that isn't my choice? And maybe she does. And like, that's kind of where I'm at at the moment where I'm not understanding how other people don't check in with themselves. Do you tell other people how they make you feel? Like in that example, if you were on the basketball team and someone, you would. How would you do that in a way that feels right for you? If socks weirded, if bare feet wearer me out, I would both recognize that that's my thing, not yours, but this is something I would need. And I would probably say, I would say something like,

if you need to do that, that's fine. I'm weirded out my feet. Would you mind putting on socks. Like, I would just ask the thing. Yeah. You're just very just forward with it all. But do you think that there is something fundamentally different? I think it reminds me of my husband because a lot of the things you're explaining remind me of him. And I think that there's a certain part in his filter that he doesn't overtake responsibility for other people. He would be able to say that, right? Overtake responsibility. What do you mean? Like no people pleasing, no You know what I mean? He's not a people-pleaser. Like if something bothered him, it wouldn't be hard for him to say.

Right. He would say, you know, that really is making me feel uncomfortable. Would you mind putting it on socks? Yeah. Right. Or he would leave or do whatever it is. Whereas Rachel and I would never say a word. Probably never say a word, right? That's a, again, I'm not diagnosing. It's an observation. Take it or leave it. Email versus male. Excuse me. It does strike me as a more feminine trait. Yeah. Yeah. But what about the guys on the basketball team? Like, why can't they just, do you think people in general are trying to avoid confrontation all the time?

Or, because people aren't trained to be honest, one with themselves or with other people. Yeah. Right. And so as a society, I think it's a lot of people going to the big guy and saying what they feel versus saying, hey, man. Yeah. I think there's a lot of layers to that. And the first one I want to acknowledge is people aren't trained to be. honest or I think that's got that was kind of the the point of me bringing that up which is if you don't

know what you're feeling and why it makes it a lot harder to communicate it to someone else conversely makes it a lot easier to either not communicate to someone else or pass that responsibility on I think if people better understood why I was bothering them and what specifically was bothering them instead of just for letting themselves believe it was just a judgment they're passing on me and not taking any accountability of, it makes me feel this when you do this thing, then they have no responsibility in it. And I have now become, for better or worse, the bad guy.

And it's fuck that guy. So why, I don't need to tell him. Just get him the fuck out of here. Because it's not about these two guys' feelings. It's about me. And they've made it about me. Or you made it about your obstacle, which is fair.

shorthand. And when you've been around people enough and you're like, oh, you categorize as this type of person, if they realize, like, I play basketball, I play competitively and the point is to win at least so you don't have to sit out the next game. And at most, so you feel valuable in front of your peers. And ooh, we want to pick up Rick. Rick's great. So that's my mission going in. And somebody else is, mission is going in is I'm a 45-year-old comedy writer and I just want to have a fun, fun time. And this guy is so fucking aggressive.

So both of those things exist, but like this person doesn't, I now see like, oh, you guys are just, now what I do is, hey, we don't need to guard each other. Let's not guard. Let me guard somebody who wants to be pushing around, you know? Or you say things like, hey, my shoulder hurt. Like, you could talk about stuff, but people just saw me as somebody who was just a lot. which I was. But like that makes me feel like I'm not having a good time because I just want to chill and relax. I just want to have a light game. If you know that, then it's, hey, buddy,

could you just take it easy? That would have been a gift to you. That would have been, they would have been gifting you. It's like they see it as confrontation or they don't want to manage it. Sure. But it would have been a gift for you. Absolutely. Right. If they said, this is why I come here. I just want to relax. Your aggression is passion, whatever it is. but could you meet me halfway? I want to relax. You probably would have had some sort of awakening where you would have wanted to give them that.

Yeah. Even if they just said, hey, Rick, it's too much, buddy, like, chill. I would have been like, oh. Right. The email that he sent me was one of the night, I cried reading it, but it was in a set, her feelings hurt away, but one of the nicest, he could have just said stop coming, but he told me the things. Yeah.

That's kind. And I was like, so much so. Yeah. But he could only tell me those things if he knew how hearing what those people said that made him feel. Did you wind up going back? Yeah. I mean, what I'm about to say is I made this thing.

It's like a year and a half old. So the fact that I'm on a podcast promoting something that I posted a year and a half ago. But it's something I'm really proud of. I made this thing called I Am Phenomenal. It's a short, it's on YouTube. but it's about a guy who's the best basketball player that everybody loves and then finds out nobody even wants them there. And there's a couple of scenes in it, but one of them, the main one of them, the script is the exact

email that Bill, person gave, sent me. So I made this fun thing and here's this email that is now part of this script that I use to like kind of make fun of it and I'm really proud of it. But like, yeah, I'm back in the game now. Yeah. And I'm exactly the same way I was before now. Like the first month, the first month I passed too much and I didn't say anything except for a good game.

And then slowly build back into it. And it's exactly the same. And it's been acknowledged. Yeah. I was out of the game for a couple weeks and then I got shoulder surgery. So I was out of the game for like five months. And when I came back, Bill, who's who sending me the email and runs the game, said to me, loud enough for people to hear, but just to me,

hey, Rick, you had shoulder surgery, huh? Like, that's why you were gone for so long. How do you feel? Like getting exposition out? It was so on the nose. And I said, I'm all right, but I was also gone because a couple of guys in here didn't want me here. I felt like I needed to stand up for myself.

And once that kind of got called out and I found out who the people were, they knew that I knew and I knew that they knew. And then everything was easy. You just talked about it. Yeah, it was easy. That's amazing. Yeah, so I find that if you need to tell somebody something, tell them. But where I struggle is there's so many things I need to say.

So I'm trying to like take a break. Do I need her to have socks on? Right. And I don't. You came to that conclusion. Yeah. Amazing. I can get them. Truly, I don't.

Okay. Doesn't bother me at all. No. He's okay with it. If it was on my rug and then I'm walking around barefoot, I'd be thinking about your sweat. I would want you to tell me that. See, if it was me, I would want to make someone feel comfortable and be like, if this is going to make you feel uncomfortable, I would, so, I'd want to know that.

Not everybody could receive things like that, though. Right. I'm telling you from experience. I believe that. I could say that to you, and then you will now be like, I don't like the way Rick tells me, how I make you feel. I've experienced that. It's like, you know, do you tell somebody that you've just met that you're only talking to for a second if they have something in their nose? And I would.

I do that. Like a bugger or something. in your teeth. You get boogers in your teeth? It's good merch. It's good merch. I've talked about this stuff before in different ways, at different times, but I'm feeling so much, I'm feeling so vulnerable in a way that I don't love right now.

I know. I can feel that. Yeah. We're sorry and you're welcome. I'm putting that on you. You can. We'll take it. That's what we do.

I don't do many. other people's podcasts unless I know them. I think that's something I'm inexperienced with. Right. So you're just vulnerable because you're opening up and you don't know us. Yeah. Do you think the comedy space lends itself to being that vulnerable? Because I'm sure.

Yes. Oh, good. Yeah. On my podcast, there's or bits city and then sometimes it's just like everyone's crying. Right. So I've experienced it before. But I think there's something about like, I'm not editing this. You know, like.

this is all going to be in. You're relinquishing control. On the nose. I don't like it. Yep. I don't like relinquishing control when I'm vulnerable. Does that make sense? I think a lot of people can relate. Yeah, I think that's the whole thing. But just know that if you reflect

on anything and you don't want it in there, you can tell us. And you're safe. Absolutely. We won't take it out, but you can tell us. We won't make it a clip, but it'll still be a thing. Well, I would love if you would reread Miranda's script.

Yeah. I said that as a joke. I mean, I'm... Right now. Right now. We're all reading it right now. But also, yeah, you know, the way you said, yeah, like that, it's like... No, I would...

No, I fully support it. But isn't that a fun coincidence? That's crazy coincidence. But now that you're saying it, I feel like I remember my dad telling me about you and about your podcast and wanting me to go on your podcast. I'd love to have you guys if you're interested, but working... We're socks. And we have to be on the balcony still?

No, no, we're indoors now. Okay. Got it. Any. Okay. Lastly, we're going to leave you. Maybe two questions. We'll each ask our favorite.

Okay. Every time you walk into a room. Oh, good. Only one song. Okay, the one song that plays every time you walk into a room. What would it do? Lose yourself, M&M, and it already is. I oftentimes play it.

Love it. Yours? What's your ideal sandwich? If you were going to make, like, the perfect sandwich. I feel it's a little personal. That's the most vulnerable. That's where you draw the line. I can't answer that.

I don't know. It doesn't exist. But I can give you some details. I love sandwiches. But that's like asking what my favorite movie is. Like, what am I in the mood for? Do I want something new? Do I want to be scared?

Do I want something that's going to give me left? If you had to have one now. Today. Right now. You know, have you ever been to Howland Rays? There's one in Pasadena. Oh, the chicken place? Yeah.

Do you eat chicken? Of course. Holland Reyes is that. Really? Really? I don't think I'll have time for it. I have some place to be too soon. But being in this area, had I planned this, I would have done it.

Yeah. Oh, like a fried chicken sandwich? It's a Nashville hot chicken. Oh, I love that shit. We should order it. I want it right now. They deliver too. If I could have done this again, I would have had it delivered here.

You would have had it and you would have thought ahead and it would have been amazing. Oh my gosh. It's unbelievable. We're going to start. with that question from now on just in case there's a sandwich that could be coming. If there's anything that you'd want to do when this is done. You can come back and we'll order them. Yeah, I tend to, my brother has a restaurant not too far away called the Greyhound.

Shout out to the Greyhound. But, and I eat there. And then I still have, when I'm going home, I'll either pick up or I'll have it delivered. So I have it for the next day. Amazing. Actually, I have an easy answer for your question. Yeah. Yeah.

Howl and Ray. So good. I'm going to try it. Yeah, I'm going to try it. I had a fried chicken sandwich for the first time in a long time. Is that like a blowhorn? Is Casper like doing a blowhorn? No, I think it's someone calling at the gate.

Oh, it sounded like a chauffeur. Do you know what? Do you know what those are? The Jews with a horn, they blow into? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I sound. Yeah. That's what I meant.

Is he like doing some like... Jewish shit. Jewish shit. Okay, yeah. He is trying to alert us because we have... Yeah, okay. Another guess. Well, this was...

Amazing. Great. He's like, thank fucking God. Oh, no, when you said that, I was worried it was later than I thought it was. No, no. We knew you're out, but we... Thank you for having me and for accepting me. Thank you for opening up.

We really appreciate you being so vulnerable with us. Yeah. We really do. Yeah. It's safe. This was fun. Yeah. Yeah.

It's safe here. Do know that if you think about anything. Yeah, yeah. Always. It'll be, it's not that I feel like I said something I shouldn't have as much as just the feeling I have from saying the things. Yeah. That makes sense.

Got it. All right. Nice to meet you guys. So nice to meet you. I got some fun prepared. What? God, Rob. So this is March 2013.

Oh, geez. Rob has a cover, a magazine. Was your hair natural and then they added curl to it? Or did they blow dry it and then curl it? I'm going to get it. It was natural and they curled out more. I don't remember. Okay.

I mean, you have these all lying around. I do not have them lying around. Who's that? Is that her right there, too? Hold on. In my defense, we were cleaning out this room to make the studio, and Rob found a stack of, like, magazines that were hidden away, and he took them out and has them out and keeps referring to them.

I do not have fucking magazines of me just lying around. Absolutely. Yeah. I've been hiding them. Rob. I can get back to them. People have skeletons in their closet. You've got magazine covers.

You've got a stack of magazines that you were on. All right. So these are Rachel Bilsen's top ten style tips. Oh, let's do it. Let's see if they're the same. All right. On your street style. Street style.

I really just like to throw things together and be comfy. I'm a casual dresser. I enjoy mixing and matching and layering. Just throwing things together. so it'll be a mashup. Sick. Picking the perfect sunnies. Do you tell.

I have a smaller face so Wayfarers work because they have a small frame. If you want to try a big 60s frame, you kind of need an angular face and a good nose. Wait, you have a small face? Do it? No. I don't have a small face.

Like, what's a small face? I have no idea. I can't be held accountable from 2013. Do you recall any of these? Oh. That's a good picture. Yeah, you look pretty cool. You do.

I mean, you look much cooler than the cover shot. Thanks, Rob. Thanks. Appreciate it. A little more punk rock. I like that picture. Yeah. And I like those sunnies.

You can't go wrong with those. Wayfares. Yeah, it's because you have such a small face. I just don't consider you to have like a small face. You're saying I have a big face? A little bit. That's a positive thing. It is.

This is Rachel and refusing to dress for men. I know men hate harem pants, but I don't give it shit. That's not what she said. No, that is. Is that what she said? Shut up. Yeah. Well, you've been at this for a while.

All right, your best kept fashion secret. I know nude shoes really help my child-sized legs. You really, you know, it helps in that area. Rob's just trying to get me canceled. You learn little things like that. For little feet like that. You know in that area. Her BFF, Kristen Bell, writes Rachel's design skills.

Really? What? I really like shoe mint because these shoes are designed by two of my best girlfriends, Rachel Bilsson and Nicole Chavez. It's as if Rachel was inside my brain designing. I'm a big fan. Did you design shoes? She did.

Nicole and I did, yeah. What happened with that? Yeah, how's that going? I don't know. I remember mine. The Olivia's. They were really, remember when those thick platform, platforms,

soles were a thing. I'm feeling a little blue. All right, well then let's pivot. I get it. Let's pivot. I've got another one. This is 17 magazine. Is this naturally how your hair looks,

or do they do this? Great question. Was your hair naturally like that and they added curl or did they blowjai it and put the curl? And was this the same... Curly haired questions. Was this the same photo shoot as the other one? No.

Oh. This was March 2008. So this is actually five years earlier. Seems like you were really embracing the curl a lot more back then. I was not in my control. I mean, you look a lot like briar in this. Let me see. Oh, my God.

Totally. And Kaya. All right. Rachel's obsessions. I want to see if you know. Well, this isn't really like quizy, but things only people in her top eight know about her. So I think that's a MySpace reference. Oh, yeah, top eight.

She was never on MySpace. That's just there. It's an article. Lip-balms on here. Yeah. I'm obsessed with Lipsmackers. She's a grandma and her inside. Baked goods.

Yep. I bake. It sounds so old, like grandma-ish. but it's so fun for me to do. I love to do it. Fashion. I just snotted. I like looking at fashion books about Landvin and Chanel.

I also love 17 because the fashion spreads are so cute. Pin straight hair. One of your obsessions. In high school, my mom used to iron my hair with a clothing iron. That's true. I wanted it straight. There's a photo of you and your dog. Thurman.

Thurman. He's my little guy. Just a little mutt. He's my little asshole. She gave him away to her mom, guys. Is there another animal you were obsessed with at this point? Pigs. Yeah, pigs. Pigs.

I want one. They're my favorite animals. I don't eat them because I love them. I didn't. And then I got attacked by my own pig. And they went back to bacon. Oh, you owned a pig? Yeah, she ate the pig.

Yeah, I had two. Buddy and Petunia. I did not eat my pig. She fried it. And she fried it. I did not eat my pig. When did you have... She hated me. My pig hated me.

You got like big pigs or little teacups? They were supposed to be super tiny, little, you know, petite pot bellies, whatever they're pocket pop bellies, whatever they're called. They were not, they weren't enormous, but they were not as small as they were supposed to be. But the girl, my pig hated me. Attacked me on multiple occasions. You kind of have a tendency to get pets and then get pets.

rid of them. Not entirely true. What about Gertie? A little Gertie. Coyotes. My mom pulled into my driveway yesterday and there was a coyote just right there in my driveway. I hate them. They're just always in my yard and my dog is eight fucking pounds.

This is not... And my pigs are six feet under. In my belly. My pigs. No, I loved Buddy. I loved the brother. But Petunia was... A real asshole.

Is that it? She attacked me. So did they have to stay together? Yeah, they stayed together. Yeah. We had them for a very long time. Eyeliner. I love eyeliner. Purple's, blues, greens, blacks, and browns. Yeah.

You love purple. All right. It was a fun trip down memory lane. This is great, Rob. I'm really happy you keep these magazines around. Guys. So what about you, Rachel? Anything going on in your life? Well, I've taken up tennis, Rob. Mm-hmm.

I enjoyed that very much. It's a good workout. Yeah. I really love our instructor. We have so much fun with him. He's like this young kid, and it's really fun. Do you notice a difference in your stamina? You know?

Now that you mention it. No. I don't feel tired all the time like I used to. Oh, wow. Yeah, thinking about it, I'm like, oh, I'm always tired. Like, I fall asleep. Staying awake past nine is a challenge. It's hard.

It's hard. I have something for you guys. Ooh, I do two after you. Okay. I'm like infamously, no, not even people know this, but I have not seen many, many movies. Okay. Classics. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty infamous. I feel like most people, what they know about you is that you haven't seen. Infamous. No, but like, there's like movies that I miss that are like really big movies that everybody's seen. And I watched Goodwill Hunting for the first time. Wow. Isn't that weird? Do you find that weird?

Because she found that very weird. Shocking. I mean, it's weird that you decided to watch it now. I don't think it's that weird that you didn't watch it. Really? Goodwill hunting? Yeah. Like, how do you even, like, how do you even look at?

How do you not even like them apples? Yeah. I mean, like, how do you get through life without watching Goodwill hunting? Um. Like, were you like, who is this Ben Affleck guy? I bet we could each find a movie that the other has not seen that. we would be surprised. Really?

It's that big of like a... Yeah. Okay. Try us. All right, Rachel, have you seen Goodwill Hunting? He's going to go to... I now have. What are some other big ones that you've never seen that people...

Just like anything. Yeah, try me. Have you seen like Pulp Fiction? Yes. Okay. Have you seen the Titanic? Yeah. The Goodwill Hunting is like one of those kinds of.

Yeah, like one of those like everyone's thought. Have you seen Kill Bill? No. Oh, interesting. I don't think so. Have you seen Shasha Ink Redemption? I actually have seen that. Have you seen... I've never seen... The color of purple.

Like, saving Private Ryan or like... What? Yeah, no. Uh-uh. Oh, oh. I've never seen the color purple. What? No. What about the one with the Aerosmith song? Armageddon. Yeah, have you seen Armageddon? I couldn't tell you. Maybe.

Men in black. Yes. The Matrix. No. I've never seen the Matrix. No. Or Kazam. Neither. The Shaq movie. Neither. The Royal Tenin Bombs. No.

You dressed up as them for Halloween. I've never seen it. Huh. It's possible I've seen all these. Well, then this came just terrible. But she didn't. No, but like there's ones like for sure, like really famous ones. I know I haven't. Seen. Home alone? Yeah.

Well, you can't act like that. Forest Gump? Yeah. I will say I tend to watch things more if I'm like with someone because they want and they'll put it on and I will watch it and I will enjoy it. But it's not something I just go and do for myself. No country for old men. Yes.

No. Again, you acted that out. Yeah, I've never seen it. Maybe I have. I will be doing this all day long with her. I'll just be like, I'll just be like. Like, no, but like really big ones that are like. I know you've seen Mrs. Doubtfire.

He's a red by fruiting. Yeah. Romeo and Juliet. Which one? Slerman. Yeah. That was high school. Mulan Rouge you've seen.

I saw it with you. Antichrist? No. The large one tree movie? No. You saw, we saw Mulan Rouge together? Like at a theater? We saw Mulan Rouge at a theater together.

and we were crying so much that we started laughing. Our cries, it was me, you and Leah, and our crying at the end was so intense that it was embarrassing that we started laughing and we had to walk out of the theater because we were hysterically laughing at the most inappropriate part of the movie. Not a single, like inkling of a recollection of that happening.

What's the one, The Departed? Nope. This is fascinating. Do you like movies? I do. She wanted to be in them. I know, but there's a difference between making them and watching them.

Okay, you both have to recommend one super famous classic movie that you think I absolutely have to watch and I will try to do so over the weekend. Not obscure, weird, Rob. I'm talking about what we've been talking about. Well, watch the Royal Dead and Boms. Okay.

You're in much four movies this weekend? I think I've seen the world. Tenant Bombs. I have. I'm going to go with... I'm going to start at the back and then I'm going to work my way up. Let's go with Mermaids. Is it depressing?

No. That was convincing. Just watch Mermaids. It sounds like it's... I think you should watch El Topo. That is not... I mean, terms of endearment. But that is... That's a real...

It's a motherfucker. I mean, El Tobo is a classic. Do you know what that is? Nope. I probably won't be watching. Alejandro Gerowski, it's only three and a half hours long. Rob! Rocky Horror Picture Show?

I've never seen it. Okay. A little asterisk at the bottom. There's a chance. That you have seen all these. I've seen a lot of these. This is pointless. No, but certain things would stick out.

I know that I haven't watched some of those. And your memory from far back, like, then, is better. Big business. Love that movie. Risky business? No. Never saw it.

I don't think I've ever seen it. Did your parents not have you watch movies? Let me tell you something. No, there was definitely movies going on, but this is what it was, okay? First of all, my brother, the untouchables would be on, Godfather would be on, that kind of stuff, right? So I'm watching this shit very young. If I put on the TV, when I was a kid, it was like Disney or musicals or like Newseys or Dirty Dancing or you know, that kind of stuff.

Cry baby. You know. But it wasn't like, there wasn't like a flow going in and out. Or like when you got older. My dad, I hated watching movies with my dad because he would make us sit and watch all of the credits until it finished to see if he knew anybody

that worked on the movie. You see, my dad used to do that and he didn't know anyone who worked in the movies, but we'd have to stay till the edge out of respect or something. just have a theaters. In theaters or at home. Rocky? I've seen Rocky.

We're ending this game. I can't. I know. I know. You're an addict. I've never seen you showing that side more than right now. My dad would make me watch like how the West was one when I was like nine. All right.

Rob wants out of this. Okay, go. All right, Rob. I have to focus my brain. I'm a 21-year-old male and I feel like my girlfriend is ghosting me and I'm not sure what to do. Is that it? No. I've been dating my girlfriend since September of this year and in those two and a half months, we've never had a problem. Sorry. What is that happening? We don't argue. We normally talk

on video calls since we live an hour away from each other and it's hard to see each other every day, but whenever the slightest inconvenience came from either side, we broke it down and talked about it before it could become a major issue. Putting so much into this, and I'm starting to feel like I love her, but this past week we haven't spoken at all, and I'm not sure if it's something I said or did to cause this, so I'm kind of scared. I'm not the type to cheat or do anything of the matter, and I even saw her just last weekend to spend time with her and her family, give her a late birthday present, but we haven't had a full conversation or anything since Tuesday. She gets sick easily and doesn't have a good immune system due to her condition.

So a common cold could be like a flu. And she's told me before that when she's sick and out of it, she just can't talk. But it's been seven days, man. I hate to think the worst and feel like she's ghosting me since she hasn't said anything that made it seem like there was a problem in our relationship. What do I do about this? Ask her. He should ask her. Not you. Rachel, what did we? What's the...

No, yeah. He should ask her. You should ask her. Are you saying? Yeah, what is he doing? He's torturing himself. Yeah. People do do that though. They do do it. Yeah. They do do. Was it this? Was it that? Yeah, and then you're constantly in your brain. Just fucking ask. Right? I think that there's a way of asking to... I think that people get so caught

up in pushing someone away. And coming off is too needy? It's coming off as too needy. Instead of just simply being someone that has the confidence to communicate, it's not going to push someone away. If someone's like, hey, what's up? You seem distant. Yeah, you feel distant.

What's going on? Did they have their age? 21-year-old male and his girlfriend is 19. Well, hello? They're 21 and 19. Yeah, but she is ghosting him. I mean, it sounds like she could be sick. She's got like an autoimmune disease.

Sounds like she could be sick. And that could be the cause. Have you ever been in a relationship, ever? No. In the history of your life? Never. Have you ever been in the relationship in the history of your life where you got sick and didn't contact your significant other for a week and didn't tell them?

No. No. That's all I'm saying. They're very young, you guys. Yeah, yeah. I was 19 in a relationship. I was like, bring me soup. Right?

Like, you don't just not contact someone for a week if you're sick. What if something like, what if she's in the fucking hospital or something? What if she's dead? I mean, yeah, I think that's the question's easy. You should just talk to her. But it does bring up the question of, like, being too vulnerable and needy. Like, do you get turned off when someone is being too needy as that happened? Where, like, oh, this guy needs too much.

Yeah, that's happened. For sure. It's like when they take everything. You know. Is it usually a single incident or it's more just a personality type and it's little things here and there that's happening? I think it's more personality type. And it's not. No, because if it's just like a singled out thing with someone who's not really needy, then it doesn't come across as needy.

Needy has to be incessant. Yeah. That makes them needy. Yeah. But there's a difference between being needy and vulnerable. Yes. Right. A guy being vulnerable doesn't bother me at all.

I love that. It's the neediness that is really not attractive. Yeah. But I think that so often people are afraid to be vulnerable because they think it comes off as needy and they're two wildly different things. Needy is like, I feel like one of the characteristics of being needy

is someone that takes everything personally. Like they make everything about them. Everything you do somehow has something to do with them and they like make it about them. Or it's just like, stay in your lane. Vulnerability, there is some accountability that it's their issue and how they're reacting to it. Yeah. And just communicating that like when you do this, it makes me feel like this. Yeah, that's sexy.

Do you know, like there's vulnerability on a man is, I think, a powerful. tool and on a woman, but neediness, I've never, I don't know. I'm just, you're not texting me enough. I need you to. Oh, I've never dated anyone with that. Yeah. Have you? Like, you're not technically, I mean, yeah. I'm not attracted to guys. I'm not either, but sometimes I can happen after a while. Sometimes you got to do what you got it. You sleep with enough guys. Yeah. No. After time, sometimes. Yeah. Right. Like, if one pulls away, the other, you usually. usually becomes more needy.

Yeah, I get that. The insecurities and whatnot. I know what movie I saw that was so good that you are going to appreciate. Captain Fantastic. With Vigo Morton's here? Yes. I've never seen it. It's good.

And how the tables turn. It was really good. Did you cry? Of course I cry. I always cry. Yeah. Do you cry often in movies? Yes.

100%. Does that make you reluctant to see a movie? No. That movie was really good. I was late on that one, too. It's like 2016, I don't know. 10 or 16, 15, something like that. I need to see it.

Yeah, really well done. Really good movie. Kudos to whoever made it. Rachel. Whoever made it. Good job. I saw Maestro. Oh, yeah.

And I had to... That's the new Bradley Cooper. Yeah. I was sitting in the movie theater and it got so emotional that I literally had to sit there and look at them and be like, they're just actors. This isn't real. This is just an actor. I had to start looking at the wall. Like I had to do anything like you would sob your heart out.

Because I was about to go sobbing. Those are tough. I was like, that's never happened to me before. Is it like a panic attack? It almost felt like a panic attack. It felt like I was going to lose control of my. emotions in a place where there was other people around and it just didn't feel like I could hear other people crying like everybody was crying but I was about to turn another fucking leave I was about to like

oh no really good oh yeah what's this like saltburn movie I feel like you don't know about it yeah oh is that the one with the um the guy kid from banshees of an assyering and and priscilla the tall guy euphoria yeah yeah Priscilla. I got for Priscilla. I think we're going to see that this week. Oh, that's fun. Oh, don't let me forget. I have a gift card for a briar. Oh, my God. Did Elliot get his Pokemon? I think he got him, but I haven't let him open him because he's being a little brat. So he doesn't know that I gave him Pokemon cards yet. But you got your books I sent you guys?

Yes, we did. Thank you. What's he being a brat? He's just having like a little moment. We had one of those with Calvin yesterday. Really? He's going to rock climbing camp this week while he's off school. That's nice. And he's been like going, he's been throwing, the instructor told Natalie that he's been throwing

his lunch away and then going to the like counter and ordering things on her account of like food. I like this guy. Yeah. And then she had suspected that he'd be. been doing that at school too because she makes him lunch every morning and then it comes back totally empty. Yeah.

She's asked him like, are you eating this or you're throwing this away? And I think this kind of confirmed that he was just lying and throwing his food away. And then when she found out about him ordering food, she asked him, like the instructor told her. And then she asked him and he was like, no, I wasn't doing that. they lie. They do. They straight up lie to your face. We had to have a long talk last time.

How did he take it? I mean, he, I mean, we'll see. Did he end up saying, okay, I do it? Yeah, yeah, he admitted it. But then, like, when I asked him, I asked him, like, did this just happen today? Have you done it? How many things did you buy? And he just had just one thing.

And then I was like, we can check. No. He's like, all right, well, maybe it was two things. So we didn't talk with him about why he can't lie. But I mean, you got to give him kind of credit. You're like, yeah, I'm not mad at him. I'm not mad at him. You know? Yeah, it wasn't, we didn't. He was like, well, what's my consequence for this? And we're just like, you're not going to get it. You're not getting a consequence, but we're not going to trust you for a little bit if you're going to keep lying to us. you're there on that back buddy

to be a fly on the wall watching cow just like yeah Elliot'll lie to our face I'll be like did you brush your teeth and he'll be like yeah what do you do with that I'm like

if I go check your toothbrush right now is it going to be wet or dry and he's like wet I'll go check it if we thrive calling your bluff you know and I'm like he's a good poker player we just talk to him about it

There's really not much other than talking to him. We're not big, like, you lied to me. You are dead to me. You know, Breyer doesn't lie. She's got you fucking fool. Yeah. But you know of. She doesn't.

No, she doesn't. She's too scared of, like, getting in trouble. Like, whatever. Not that she ever gets in trouble. Elliot doesn't have fear. No, exactly. Like, Breyer has fear. Like, this morning, we had to get out of the house.

And she wasn't listening. She was taking forever. And so finally, I was like, Brigher. Like, we got to go, you know, and she started, like, crying and, like, she can't, she's very sensitive. I wonder where she gets that from. I know. I know. She got so upset.

I was like, Briar, I've asked you, like, 20 times. Now we're late for camp. Can't imagine having to ask a Bilsen to do something like 20 times and it's just not happening. I will refrain from my comment. Okay. All right. Pleasure. As always.

As always. Bye. That was a HeadGum podcast.