Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Samantha Bee on Kelly Clarkson, Roe v. Wade, and Poking a Rat

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Comedian-writer Samantha Bee talks with Rachel and Olivia about the somewhat insulting reasoning behind hiring her for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, her new podcast The Defenders, and the time she poked a rat and faced the consequences. They also discuss Roe v. Wade, Kelly Clarkson, and Kelly Clarkson’s ex-husband.Broad Ideas is supported by Honeylove. Get 20% off by going to honeylove.com/ideas.Broad Ideas is supported by Clarins. Go to clarins.com/ideas and get Multi-Active Day & Night Cream for 10% off, a free welcome gift, plus free shipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to broad ideas.

Do it again. Welcome to broad ideas. Like more. Vibrato. Welcome to broad ideas. Yeah. That felt good. Perfect.

Thank you. That's how it should be always. Every time. We have Samantha Bee today. Comedian, writer, producer. She's an actor, television host. She was on the daily show for a really long time. It's pretty rad.

She should have a big get for us. Yeah. No, she's awesome. Love her. And she has a new podcast called The Defenders. All right, well, go listen to that after you listen to this. Yes, this first, then that. Sometimes when the work inside of Rachel's little brain,

all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside. To join us on this journey as we take a little. Little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys. Because people die. Hi.

Can you see it? Hi. I can totally see you. Hello. Oh. Oh, my God. It's so nice to meet you. It is so nice to meet you.

What's your cozy set up? It's cozy. It looks so cute there. That's nice. It's at home. I love how. home. Right? Don't you love home. Oh, I love so much. When you say, oh, don't you love home? Yeah. Aren't you home? I am home. I'm in like the probably the most, the least comfortable room in my home.

I kind of did it. I have it backwards. So you can see that I have an exercise bicycle that's been used probably four times. But it's sitting there. It's like mocking, mocking me. And then this is kind of like a, it's like a homework doing room. I don't know why I put my stuff in here. Now, literally no one can do homework and no one is comfortable. You can take this from your bed if you want. That's how we do most of our work. We just lay in bed and be like, you know what? Yeah, that's where I'm most comfortable. I love that so much. Right. Yes. Do you work from bed? Do I work from bed? Yeah. Is that your job? My job is to just work from bed. I just do like, if you need me, I'm in bed. I'm in bed. I think I might be able to help. but only if I can do it with my legs up.

But do you ever do your, like, do you do writing in bed? Do you do any of that? Or do you have to be like, you don't? My bed is very separate from, like, it's a big part of my life. Okay. I love my bed. I love it. I keep it separate from work life.

But I do have my comfy, like my spots where I like to do work. Like I have a spot, like a divot on the sofa. Right. Okay. And a chesh. and a chair that I like to work in. And they keep me kind of upright. But they're still cozy.

Nice light. Yeah. Designated. Yeah. I actually, I got myself a lazy boy during the pandemic. And bear with me here. Just bear with me. I was like, I'm spending a lot of time sitting and in my house.

Yeah. And I went. They were having a bogo event. What? Oh, yeah. Lazy boy had a bogo. They had a bogo event and lazy boy. and I dragged my sister-in-law fully hazmat suited up

because it was still like, you know, prime pandemic and people were leaving the house, but it was still. And we went for two hours, and we tried every single lazy boy. You did. In the lazy boy store. And let me tell you something, the bogos were only the rockers.

And I could not, no, emotion sickness. I don't know about you, but after I had my kid, everything changed inside me. Oh, oh my God. Yes. Your whole body is like all the things

I used to do, I can no longer ever do again. Like, don't even try it. Like, go on a swing. So I understand. No, jump on a trampoline? No, cannot do it. Rides at a carnival? Yeah, no. Make me want to die.

I know that this podcast is not about my pelvic floor. It is. It is. Today. It is today. I want to tell you that I got a trampoline for my kids. Except three kids, they were little. And I was like, a solution to all of our problems is a trampoline.

everybody's amused. I was like, I'll go, I'll do exercise on the trampoline. That's like really good for you. I go on it. I was like, something terrible just happened inside my body. Something bad, so bad. That was so bad. So I immediately went to my gynecologist, whatever, two days,

when you can get an appointment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, something, I feel like something's going to fall out. And she goes, why? What were you doing? What were you doing? And I was like, I don't know, I was just like living life. and I went on a trampoline and I did on.

She was like, whoa, whoa, what? You can never go on a trampoline. Whatever. She was like, don't you dare ever do that again. Yeah, she was like, your pelvic floor, you bruised it. Wait, is this a thing for all moms, no trampolines? Well, I was like, is this new information. You need to do a pamphlet.

This is a PSA. Yeah, no, I need to know about this more. I mean, now, I will say, I got my daughter a year ago. No, a year and a half ago, she has a trampoline. I have yet to go on it. I'm just saying, just baby steps it, okay? Like, if something rattles around, just go, this isn't going to, it's not like it's going to, like, tighten up and get better while I'm on the trampoline.

What's that call? Isn't it like prolapse or something? Like, when something comes up. Oh, shh. I'm telling you. We didn't get all the way there. But I feel like four more jumps. And it would have come out.

Whatever it was was coming out. Whatever's in there. Whatever's on the trampoline. Well, you have three kids, right? I do. How old are they? They're getting older. It's weird.

One of them is going to college. What? I'm going to throw up. Oh, my God. That's brutal. Yeah, so there's an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old. Oh, you went for it. I did.

I went for it. You went hard. The people. I went for it. You did. Oh my God. They're just like adults. They have these lives.

You have an 18 year. I mean. I know. Is it two girls and a boy? Two girls, one boy. Yeah. Who's the oldest? Girl.

First girl. There's a boy in the middle. It's a little boy sandwich. Yeah. A little baloney boy. And then a girl. Yeah. He's the meat in the sandwich.

Yeah. And then the others are, and they all have like social lives. They're just living. I don't know. It's weird. people. They have choices. They have like opinions about things. Isn't that crazy? I just, I don't, my daughter's nine and I'm really struggling with her getting older. Yeah. Because, you know, it's kind of still that like, still like mommy, but also slowly more towards tweendom.

I know. And I'm really having a hard time. It's really hard. It's really hard. It's really hard. It's really scary. It's really scary. What you, so, first of all, we are just so blown away by you and everything, in your career and everything you've done. And you've done it all being a mother of three children, which is like so fucking mind-blowing. I'm making such a weird facial expression. I'm like, oh.

No. People don't like compliments. No. Like nobody. What is that? I know. Not one person. Isn't that sad?

I mean, truly, every time, like, Because that's a genuine accomplishment. Being a mom of three kids and accomplishing what you have in your career is a lot. A lot. You know? And so when we say it, there's never, like, it still makes you uncomfortable, right? I know. But it wouldn't it be weird, though, if you...

It is occasionally weird when you do meet someone who can really take a compliment. Yeah. Like, they're just like, I need them. Like, that's my oxygen. And you're like, hey, great job on that thing. They're like, I know. Oh, my God. I know, but the reaction to that, right?

Oh, my God. And you're like, wait, I don't know. I'm short-circuiting. I feel like people have to work on it. When I first met my husband, someone was guiding me to take a compliment. They're like, don't say but this or but that or you are too. Just say thank you. And so he was like, you were the first girl.

He didn't call me a woman. He said, you're the first girl I've ever met that would just say thank you when I said you were pretty. And I just said, oh, Oh, that's cool. And inside I was like, if you knew how hard I had to work to get to that. Just squeeze out that. Thank you. That is four years of heavy labor. Thank you. Thank you. That's kind. Thank you. Yeah. It's just, it's hard. I still can't do it. I mean, you can try, but it's just, you want us to try? Yeah, compliment me.

No, we're here to compliment you. Oh, oh no. I mean, but everything. So I know we're here to talk about you have a new podcast and you have... We're talking about the defenders. Yeah, yeah. It's a good one. Okay, let's hear about it.

Let's hear about it. Well, it really is about... Well, it really is about the struggle for reproductive rights in a postro world. Or it is about like the journey of the people who are defending reproductive freedom in this new world that we're living in. And we've been living in it now for... You know, it's been a while since Roe was overturned. So people, it's just like about the people who are doing amazing things, putting systems in place, being a real corrective, I guess, for the way that things are now. For women's rights.

For women's rights. Like, it's not to say an access. It's not like access to abortion as health care was always just like free and easy. It's been difficult. It's been impossible for people forever. But it's worse than ever now. So the podcast is really about all those heroes making it possible for people to get the health care they need. And I'm proud of it.

I think it turned out really well. I think it's really engaging and it's like storytelling. You know, it's just storytelling, which is what it's all about. And you have two daughters. And with all of this, what's the dialogue like in your household? Is it very open? And do you talk to them about, yeah. I do.

It's really open, but it's not like, you know, I'm still their mom. Right. So they definitely don't want to tell me anything at the same time. Like they have their own private thoughts and conversations with people at school and like the friends in their life. And then we're always, oh my God, this is. is so dorky, but we're always listening to the news. Like, it's always love public radio, you know?

And so it's like the news is on in the morning. It's on after school. So they're always receiving it via osmosis on some level, too. And then if they have follow-up questions, they'll, like, hit me with them. But it's a very, it's a really open, it's a pretty open conversation in the house. But they have, they talk about it. at school. Like, it's not just me sitting them down and going, girls, all right, girl, all of you, we have to talk about reproductive justice. They are hearing and learning about it

in their lives as all. What would you do if they bucked that? Like, what would you do if they were like, no, mom, I don't agree? Wouldn't that be the most incredible rebellion? That's what I'm seeing. Like, yeah, because I was just thinking how most of us rebelled against our parents. Yes. And I'm like, what would that be like if they were like, no, I don't agree. Isn't that so, it's pretty daunting to think about. I mean, they definitely, you know, when you like, I'm sure that you're feeling this in your own life too, when you try to create like a really like open and creative environment for where you have just like family buy-in on

the really big ticket items and everybody gets to share their opinion. It's like very open-minded household. They really have to stretch really far to rebel. Right. Like their rebellions are such a funky stretch. Like yesterday, my son was like, what if he was like, what if I decide not to go to college? Do you, am I, at what point am I legally entitled to receive my college fund?

I was like, what? Are you? What? Like, what was your answer? I was like, I think never. I think if you don't go to college, Daddy and I are buying a boat. That's the boat fund for sure.

Yeah, we're going to buy the stupidest boat. Like, we're going to buy like a cigarette boat. Something we can't even really drive and we're going to crash it onto a beach. We'll name it after you, though. Yeah, we'll name it. We'll name it after you. I guess if they don't agree with me,

will, I don't know, I guess we'll just, I mean, they do. Right. But they, I'm open to, I mean, we'll just, we'll just keep talking about it. I don't know. I know. It would be pretty weird. It would be weird. It would be pretty weird.

It would be like a little bit of like Alex P. Keaton. Right. That's what I'm saying. That's what it would be. Yeah. Yeah. That never occurred to me actually until this moment when you were talking. I was like, what if they just were like, no.

I don't know. We've been like, do you want to go into the arts? I just want to do anything like in television and they're like, no, thank you. We love math. Wow. Yeah. Cannot relate. I mean, I can't help you.

Yeah. So you, I mean, you got into the arts. Like, it was college, right? Where you kind of delved into acting and all of that. And you're from Toronto. Yes. Yes. I spent a lot of time there.

Oh, did you? Okay. That's Toronto. Yes. It came to me like pretty late in life, actually. It was kind of later. It wasn't a lifetime ambition or anything like that. The acting?

Anything in the performing. Just like performing arts. I sort of thought I would go to law school. Like I didn't really know. I was for sure the person in my family to go to college. So there was a lot of, not that there was like pressure, but there was sort of, I just assume. that I would do something in the professional world.

I'd be like, like the professional class, like, oh, I'll go get a law degree, I guess. I don't know. What do people do? Right. What are our jobs? What am I supposed to want? You know what's so cool, though, is that the job you ended up getting

hadn't been created yet. So you wouldn't have known, oh, that's what I want to do, because you had never seen that. You are the first woman to step into that position, you know, when you were on the daily. show and then doing the political comedy commentating. It's a lot of words. That's very few. I never actually in my whole life have never thought about that. What? Really? Yeah, it was never,

I never went, oh yeah, right. Like, how could I have ever? Because people are like, you always wanted to do this, right? And I'm like, no. But it never really occurred to me that like, why would I have ever wanted to? It didn't exist. It didn't exist. Straight up. Yeah. And it's such a good example of like, you really don't know what's coming for you if you put the right foot in front of the left foot, right? That's how it works. But like you're an example of that. And to me, I'm like, were you following the passion to perform or was there a political charge first? Like, you can't create the thing that hadn't existed yet for you, right? So what's the thing that pushed you towards it. Well, I think that I enjoyed performing so much. Like it was very, I started doing,

like, I started doing, I started doing comedy essentially on a stage for free, you know, and then really connected with it and just, like, loved it. And I think the first time I stepped onto a comedy stage, which is not glorious at all. Like, there's no glory in it. at the level that I was doing it. But the moment of stepping out onto stage, I remember it so clearly. I remember the feeling getting my first laugh and going, oh, I will do this forever no matter what.

I was like, oh, I'll do this until the end of my life. Whether I get paid for it is sort of not something. Like if I could make a career out of it, that's nice, but it's not probable. It's very improbable, actually. So I'll just continue doing this. Can you do it? I was like, can you do it when you're really old?

I mean, like, I think so. Sure. Someone will laugh at you, right? Yeah. Can you have a rubber made bin in your car at all times filled with like wigs and shit and like playlists? It's like, okay. And that was kind of the guiding principle.

It never really occurred to me that you could build a career on that. And so I think like, with lots of work and just continuing doing the thing that I like to do, little, you know, you get a little foothold somewhere. It's just like a door kind of like opens a little bit and you poke your nose in. And it's like any kind of ride. It's filled with just hope and disappointment and performance. And like I just kind of just kept going.

I think that's not the secret, but it's also maybe part of the secret, is you just keep going like a Canadian tractor. There you go. A Canadian one. A Canadian one. You're just like, I'll be tenacious. And I'll just push through disappointment and go, oh, well, that hurt my feelings. Let's keep going. What else am I going to do?

And did that get better for you? Did it stop hurting as much? Or did you just get better at walking through the hurt? I think I got better. I think the recovery got faster. It never, the sting never, I don't think that that ever goes away. I don't know that I think if it did, it would be sort of inhuman in a way. Like, I think you'd have to always be open to have your feelings hurt.

Isn't that awful? That's terrible. No. And I think that's fine. And then you just sort of snap back faster. And you go, oh, it's all part of like, it's just like a numbers game. It's just like attempts versus like the ratio of trying to like jobs gotten or like opportunities nailed. Right.

And just snap back faster and go, oh, it's all part of a broader scheme of, hey man, sometimes it's just. Not your day. I don't know why. Yeah. I don't know why. It's kind of random sometimes. Yeah. I think it's all the human experience of like anything, right? Whether it's comedy or being a parent.

I mean, all of it is just trying and what you said like being open to getting your feelings. I mean, it's everywhere. It's even if like your kid doesn't want to, you know, hold your hand anymore. I think it just shows up in so many different ways and it just makes you grow. And there's something about. like having people in your life, like for me, it is my kids who, like, really no matter what happens in the outside world, they always mostly like me or want me around in some capacity. Even still, as they're at their ages now.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not saying, like, they don't want to be like all up in my business, but they generally speaking prefer me than, you know what? Of course. Whatever that means. They love me. So that is like a very nice, it's just a soft place to return to. Like when you're feeling sad.

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A free welcome gift plus free shipping on your first order. That's c-l-a-r-r-n-s dot com slash ideas with promo code ideas. I just thought of that the other day. Actually, we came home from Austin. And right when we got back to L.A., I was like, okay, I'm where my kids are. And I took in for a moment. I'm like, you know what's so cool?

There's a whole billion human beings on this earth. And to them, I'm all they want. home. And I was like, like, I took that in and was like, what a privilege? Like, that's so cool. To them, I'm the most important human aside

from their dad on the earth. Yeah. Like, who cares what other people think? Well, yeah. It's very grounding. It's like, you're just like, okay, this is all, everything else is sort of like whatever. Yep. But we have this

magic. So just keep that going. And then I go to the morbid fear of like, yeah, we are that. And if I die, you know. Yeah, of course. Like constant. But I'm like, I didn't expect this fear to be so present and so consistent. And I don't think it ever, I don't think it ever, ever goes away.

And I don't think it's supposed to go away. I just think it just like is. I do remember that. feeling of my first child being born and going, I would kill anyone with my bare hands if they try to come near you. And I was like, I've never felt these feelings before, but I will fight a bear right now. If a bear comes in this room, I'll kill it to save your life. Yeah, I'd kill my husband. Yeah, we were like, who, we're like, if we're on a boat and the kids have to, we're like, And the boat doesn't have room for us.

He was like, I'll jump off. I'm like, I will. He's like, okay, one of us will. We'll save the children at all costs. Yeah, and the kids will choose which one of us goes. Exactly. Which one? I was like, we're like, keep the one who has more meat.

Oh, there you. I'm always like, but they're going to need me more. And he's like, they're going to need me more because I'm going to help them get food. You're not going to do anything. I'm like, you're right. Get rid of me. You get me out of here. Get rid of me.

I didn't think of it that way. I'm going to have trouble like getting a tree to fall down on the desert island and building a shelter. I watch alone, but I'm not taking in any of that information. I still don't know how to build a hut no matter what. But we all go to the hut and the deserted island. That's where we all end up in our mind. That's what, yes, we're all stranded and we're going to build huts. Of course.

Of course. Oh, of course. So you had a blog eating over the sink. Yeah. Yes. I know. I was trying, like, because I was so, I wanted to hear all you had to say about parenting in your experience. And we have you.

I know, but I was, like, really curious because I respect, like, everything you have to say. And I just was really wanting to know, just like your whole experience with it and hear from your perspective. I loved doing that. I loved doing that blog. I did it with just one of my best friends in this world, Elena Harkin, and she worked on the show for a long time. She was one of the executive producers of the show. And we did that as just like a fun,

because we had so much to get off our chest. We had babies around the same time. We wrote about like babyhood. It was great. And we did it. I think we were so careful to do it in a way that didn't really like identify our children or we knew that in the future, their future lives, we wanted to protect their privacy and like make it fun and not so

much about them, but more about us and our janky experience of just trying to figure out what the hell we were doing. Right. Oh, just. You're so relatable. I know. You're just so cozy and relatable. and it's actually not common.

Oh. Yeah. That's very nice. Yeah. It's very true. You just feel like who you are and that's really cool. Isn't that a good, it's a good goal? It is a good goal.

It's a good goal. I bought a piece of, like, I bought this thing. I bought this piece of art once. I'm not like, I don't have like art everywhere, But there's like, occasionally you see something and you're like, that is so beautiful. And it is this like big canvas and it has, it's like beaded. I'm not describing it well, but it's really beautiful. It's just like beautiful and intricate.

And it just says like in the middle of it and it's huge. And it's in a weird spot in my house. It looks kind of dumb where it is, but I love it. And it just says it did not ruin her. And I think it is like, it's like a real. mantra. I love that. I'm just like, don't let any, I don't know, man. It just can't ruin you. Yeah. I needed to hear that today. Yeah. It did not, it did not ruin her. That's all. That's it. Wow. I love that. And it gives you the space to, because we talk so much about whatever you're feeling, feel it, be in it, and then get on. Right? Yes. And so that's how you end up not ruined.

But if you skip over the feeling, if you ignore the feeling, if you pretend it's not happening, you kind of get ruined because you get bitter and then resentful. I do. I believe that. I agree with you both. I think you have to feel everything that you're feeling. And you have to like feel things that are ugly. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And like give them a voice and just it's like okay. to say, I don't know, I like to do that. I like to give a voice to like my worst thoughts. And once you do that, they just like go away. They like fly away. Right. Something. Sometimes you just need to articulate.

You're like, I feel so jealous right now. Here's why. Right. And then once you do that, you're like, oh, that sounded so dumb coming out. I guess it's not real. No. And you're like, yeah. Yeah.

It's gone. Okay. It's also powerful. It is. It really is. Because it's the person pretending they don't feel jealousy. Mm-hmm. That becomes bitterness.

Right? Yes. You're like, I can see it. I know you're feeling it. But if you just say, I'm feeling left out or I'm feeling jealous or if I'm feeling all these things, then it's like, okay, yeah, and cool. Exactly. And then that goes.

It goes. I think it's kind of in a way, the, one of the only ways to make it go. And it's good to let it go. It's like, I don't know, it's hard to let go of things. So anything that you can do to disperse it is just very helpful. It's like just healthy exercises. Just healthy.

And it's hard to keep your mind healthier in a place where, you know, you can feel better or feel good or keep growing and all of it. And it's just like, you know, as we continue to get older, it's just like, fuck, there's so many things one after another. And there's the little people we're raising. And there's this and there's that. And it's like all the pressure and as women and the world we're in. And it can be all so overwhelming. So I think just like the advice of giving a voice to the things, if you are feeling them, it's so important.

It's like that breathing exercise of breathing it in and like breathing it out. Totally. Totally. I like to like feel the contour. of everything. Like, just to go, I just remember, like, when my grandmother died, she was such a, she was really just the most influential person in my life. She died when I was 27.

And I was like, I'll never, I'm never, I'm never, I'm, I was like, I'm not going to not grieve. Like, I'm not going to hold back. I'm just going to let myself cry as much as I want. Like whenever I want, and I would sometimes be talking to someone and I would start to tear up. And they were like, oh, no, what am I doing? I'm like, you're not doing anything. I was like, this is nothing to do with you.

I'm just grieving right now. So if I'm going to cry, maybe like during the conversation, it's got nothing. Just trust me, you don't have to stop what you're saying. I really want to hear what you're saying. But a tear is my trickle out. And they were like, okay. But it sort of dispelled that. And I was like, I just can't.

I can't bottle it. Yeah. It's also cool to like allow people to bear witness to that without doing anything. So I went to school for psychology. And one of the coolest things when we first got there, there was tissue boxes under each seat. And they said, well, you're going to do some really deep work. There's going to be a lot of grieving. There's going to be a lot of trauma, a lot of pain.

If someone cries, please do not hand them the tissue. And we're like, why? And they're like, you're signaling to them. here make it stop. Oh. And I was like, oh, that like blew my mind. And so often when someone cries, you want to like hold them or tissue them or do whatever, but it's sending them the signal what I'm doing isn't right.

Like I should make it stop. I should take it away versus just kind of, hey, I'm going to let these tears fall. Right. Oh, my God. You just blew my mind. Oh my God, I love that. I did too. That's great.

I will never hand you a fucking tissue. I was crying recently and she was sitting across from me and she did nothing and I was kind of like, where's my fucking tissue? Where's my tissue wax? No. This was today. Oh my God, I think that's great. That's great. I mean, maybe if snot is everywhere.

Yeah. Then the crying person could just be like, do you have any rags? anything. Give me your sleeves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really interesting you say that, though,

because sometimes you do need to just go for it and feel it, you know? I think that there sounds so like, I guess they're crying right now. I don't know. I just think that like not only like you're feeling or whatever, but it's also the people you surround yourself with, you know, and like. Right. And you were in such a. world of, you know, on the daily show with like a lot of men.

Let's just call them men. Let's just call them men. Let's call them that. Let's do it. Yeah. Yep. I guess technically with their genitalia. And you just carved out such a space for yourself. And I just like, I feel like even like your daughter's like looking at it and everything and everything you've accomplished. But like to get yourself there and do what you did is so incredible. and not to say, like, I'm not trying to say, you know, I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just think, like, John Stewart, first of all, is, like, most intimidating to me. And, like, being, you know, a part of that is just, like, the coolest thing that could probably ever happen. It's a flex.

And it's a flex. Thank you. No, but just to have that. And, yeah, and just, like, what that experience was like for you, just kind of, like, I'm not, I'm going to say inappropriate thing, so I'm going to stop. No, it's okay. You're safe. No, I know. Oh, you're going to say inappropriate things.

Yeah. I don't want to get canceled. Okay. I have to look fine. I think that the scariest part of it in a way was that everybody was really smart. Everybody was really, really smart there and very educated when I first went there, when I first started working there. And I was like just this woman from Canada. I didn't know, didn't understand the education system.

I didn't even understand why I should be that impressed by everyone. Do you know what? That's how far away from it I really was. Yeah. Of course, I was, I loved the show. And John is was for sure. I was nervous to meet him because I did admire him so much. And I don't think that like, I think just like learning the skills.

skills took a really long, it just took a really long time, learning the skills of like interviewing people and going out and so all of it was really intimidating. I was nervous all the time. I don't think that, I think the first two years I was like, today they will fire me. They're going to figure out that I don't belong here and today's the day. And it just never happened. And I think I just adopted this kind of idea that was maybe, maybe I didn't even think about it for myself or I didn't, I don't think I put words to it, but I was like, I'll just become so, I'll just become so indispensable that they will never let me go. Like, I'll just become an indispensable part of this team by just putting my head down and working so hard.

Just always being the person who's on time, who's fun to work with, good to be around. You want to work with me twice. Like learning as I go, open to ideas, just like an open person. I think that's it. It's like be a person who you want to work with twice. Right. Right. I love that quote.

Yeah, I like it twice, not just who you want to work with, but twice. Twice. go back for a second helping with. And I met all really like a lot of people. I met, you know, we all kind of grew up together. Right. And I think we all learned that lesson. Like be a person you want to work with twice. Like you, the work is so hard and kind of grueling actually when you're traveling that much. When you're traveling to all over the place and sticking microphones in people's faces. It's really hard. It's hard.

But it was fun, too, right? Fun. Yeah. It's fun. It's definitely fun. And definitely all those things all at once. Right. Were you driven by politics before the show?

That was my question because you're from Canada. No. Yeah. I mean, yes and no. I mean, yes and no. Like it was, I loved, I loved the Daily Show and I loved. I'm very, have always been a news person. Like I always.

And inter, I was. say, you know, Canadian news is kind of inextricable from the U.S. news. Like we get, it's, it's a really free flow across the border. We're not really all that separate. Um, so I have always had a deep awareness of what was going on here and all of that stuff. So, and I think if I hadn't, I wouldn't have enjoyed the daily shows. Just like, totally steeped in it. But I didn't think that it would be my career. It didn't, there was, no model for that in Canada for sure. Right.

And I knew that I wanted to be a performer, but merging those two worlds actually was just like the luckiest. It just was like, it kind of was a miracle. There's a world in which had I not gone down that path, had I not had the opportunities to even audition for that show, that I would just have gone down a performing path and probably have, would have stopped, would have quit, because I was like on the path to quitting.

I knew I would always do comedy, but I was like, I'm not a, I don't want to try to be a professional anymore. This is terrible. This is killing. It's like, I don't think I can, I can't, I can't wait around for the approval of others for much longer. I think it's, I think I need to just do. comedy for free and get a job.

Because I want to have a house. I want to like have a life. What did auditioning for the daily show look like? Like what does an audition entail for a show like that? It was not like if I was running that show then, I would not have done the process this way, but they did. That's fine with me because I benefited from it. They really just, yeah. They came to Toronto.

they were looking for a woman. They didn't have any women on the show. They'd had a few here and there, but not like a consistent woman. Yeah. And they came to, they couldn't find, so silly saying this,

they were like, we can't find anyone in the U.S. We just, there isn't one that meets our needs. It's just really something. Not, yeah, anyways. So they came to Toronto and someone put together an afternoon of just like Toronto women for them.

Like there were women at Second City and they were like, can we get more? I'm not even, sounds so, it's hard to even say. They were like, we only have four women. Are there any more women in the city?

We can get just to fill it out. Just to fill out the day. Oh my God. It's crazy. Yeah. And my agent was like, they need more women to fill out the day of auditions. Do you want to go?

I've never. heard of this show before and I was like, yes, I'm going because I knew the show so well. And so they just gave me in advance, the only advanced thing was like two scripts of two studio pieces. One was with, I'd seen them. I'd watched them on the show. It was like material they'd already done. They just gave, they just threw me two scripts from studio segments that had aired months.

earlier and I knew them and I learned them and I was like this is not this can't be a real audition like the skills that you have to demonstrate at the show have nothing to do really with just like reading someone else's thing right doesn't make any sense right so I went and I was the only person in the audition room that had ever heard of the show oh wow literally literally there was a woman there who was like, which crazy hat should I wear in there? And I was like, I, it's not the all of them. Yeah. Please. Not another. I was like, they don't really do that. It's not like a costume. It's not like a costume show. It's not like sketch comedy. And she was like, okay, how little you know. And probably she wore like a big 10 gallon hat or something. And I just read the scripts for them. And then a couple of

months later, I got a callback. And then I got the job. And they were like, and then one of, one of the producers, who's not longer there was like, you know, we were looking for a woman. It's because there was no one else. Oh, my God. No, this is, it's worse. They were like, you know, we just thought you did a great job in the audition because, you know, you just looked like, you just looked like you really been around the block. And you just looked like you were just so, like, busted. and just like over it, you know what I mean? Like just like over us and like just like just like debt, like a little bit dead inside.

And that's exactly what we were looking for. And I was like, oh my God. I was like, thank you. I tried really hard to convey that. Like what the fuck is? It's just like really busted and like just like. I'm dying. Just like just like you were just like dying.

Done. You know, done. Yeah. Like out of it. dead inside and like a little dead behind the eyes and that's really what we were going for. And I was, thank you so much for that compliment. Oh, my God. I'm going to go away from you now and try to do my job.

Some type of, I'm going to try not to cry. Try not to look alive. Yeah, I got the job today. Don't look alive. Don't look alive. I'm like, well, now I'm actually dead inside. So mission accomplished, it's permanent. Yeah.

Oh my goodness. The things people say to you. I know. Imagine saying that to someone as a compliment. Never. Never. I can't. You just really, you know, like busted.

Like you've really been through it. Like you've been through. Like a war zone. Oh. You've been through war. So you can commentate on it. Oh, you caught that. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. All right. We want to have a little fun. I want to, yeah, let's have some fun. We're going to, I mean, that was, I'm so happy I asked that because that was an incredible story. Oh, that's going to stay with me. It really is now.

We're just going to say to each other, like, you look a little busted. You look a little busted. That's what we're here for. And we are here for it. Thank you for bringing it today. Thank you for not bringing it today. Yeah. I really liked your interview.

Okay. What would you do? If you found a dead body Yeah in a hotel room. Oh my God! Yeah. Oh my God.

Like in my room? Yes. In your room, you check in. You're going to put your clothes, you know, your blouse on a hanger. I would scream. I screamed. Okay.

I called 911. I left the room. I screamed. Definitely screamed. I don't think I touched the body. Okay. I don't think I touched it. Yeah, I'm not going over to it.

Wait, can we pause this because this is so good. I love what she's doing here. She's doing it like she's in a Law and Order episode. I think you did Law and Order, didn't you? Yeah. It shows. It shows. This is the first time this has ever been done in past tense.

Okay. I'd like you to do it again. Okay. I am Olivia. What's her name? Benson. Oh, you're Olivia Benson. Oh, yes, all the way.

And this is my partner, Elliot. How did you find this? Tell us. Okay. I put my key. So I was, I checked into the hotel. They gave me the key card. I immediately came to the room. I let myself into the room. I saw feet, like from the doorway. I could see that there was someone on the bed. I saw feet. So I screamed. Like, like a little bit. Like I just like, oh. Oh. I'm so sorry. Am I in your room? And then there was no response. So I edged forward a little bit. And then I could see that the person was prone on the bed and pale, like ghostly, like gray.

So I called 911. I backed out of the room. I called 911. I rolled my luggage down to the lobby. And then I went to the front desk and I said, excuse me, I think there's a dead person in my room. There's a dead body in there. Did you call anyone else before you went downstairs? I immediately, I texted my husband.

Why? Like I called 911 and then I texted him from the elevator and the text didn't go through. And I was so frustrated, of course. And then I went to the front desk. And then you were like, and now my room needs to be combed. And now I would like an upgrade. I would like a balcony. Yes, I would like.

And an ocean view. Okay. Did you know the man? I did not know that. I did not get a good look. It's possible that I know, but I don't think so. It's not my husband. I know that.

Was he naked? No, he was fully clothed. He had his shoes on. He was laying on the bed with his shoes on. It was like he laid himself down on the bed. Okay. You know, just to put his feet up for a second and died in that position, fully clothed. To do what he wanted to do work.

So he went, he laid on the bed. He was working. He wanted to do work from the bed. I would have suggested to take his shoes off because city shoes are dirty on a bed. They are. And we know that hotel coverless spreads. Have a lot to atone for, so we don't want to add to that. This gives us what we needed.

Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry my partner, Elliot, was laughing. I find dead bodies hilarious. It is. The weird part is on that show. Her name is Olivia, my name. Yes.

And her partner is Elliot. That's my son's name. So whenever I hear my mom watching it and I hear Olivia and Elliot, I'm like, that's us. This is all keeping it in the family. Yep. Keep it in the family. Okay. So can you tell us something?

I don't care what it is. It's something you've never told anyone. Oh. Anyone. It's something I've never told anyone. Not a person. Oh, I have to think. I think I tell everybody everything.

Right, same. I know. We're the same. I think I was thinking about the time that I poked a rat in the face, but I think I told people that. I think I might have told people that. But it is embarrassing and so silly. It's such a silly.

How does you do that? Please explain. Oh, my God. I was in a, I went to school in Montreal, to college there, and I wanted a pet. I wanted a pet. I was like, I need, I'm so lonely here. I was so lonely at college. I lived off campus.

It was a bad decision. And there was a like pet rat in the store. And I went over to the pet rat. And I was like, I think, I was like, I think it can hear my thoughts. Like I think we're, I think it's just going to know that I'm an animal lover and so it's going to submit to my loving caress. And instead, so I thought it was going to just like let me pet it. And I stuck my finger in the cage. Oh no.

Just broke it. And instead my finger poked it, like jabbed it in the mouth. Like I missed my window. Like I missed. And I poked it in the mouth. and it bit me immediately. Drew blood. My finger was spewing blood.

And then I took my finger and I put it in my pocket because I was so embarrassed that I did it. I did it. It's like the rat's fault. Rat didn't do a thing. I've poked it in the face. And then I was, and they were like, can I help you? Do you need, do you want to look at the rat or do you want to see any of the pets?

And I was like, no, thank you. I'm fine. And there was so much blood going into my pocket. Like, seeping. Seeping. Oh, my God. And I got all these shots by myself, like, just alone. It was, they were like, happened to your finger.

And I was like, a dog bit me. I couldn't tell them. And I was like, if I get rabies and die, I can't. I can't. You can't tell them. I can't tell them this. It's embarrassing. I'm so happy you told us.

Yeah. Oh, my God, that's so good. I don't know if I ever told anyone that story before. So if I did, I apologize. But I definitely didn't tell anyone who needed to know, such as all the medical doctors. No, that we're treating me. No, that's perfect. I can't handle, like, a dog.

A dog. A little dog. Just a normal little... A rabid. But it was rabid because I needed a rabies shot. Like rat-sized. Picture a rat? But it's not, of course.

Who would do that? It's dumb. Oh, my God. That feels right. That got me. Okay. What can you say during sex that you can also say at the dinner table? Oh, what can you say during...

Thanks. Okay. I'm a little more of that. A little more of that. Please. That's good. That's good. That's good.

Okay. What's the biggest panty dropper? Hmm. What is the biggest? What is the biggest panty dropper? What is the biggest panty dropper? I think someone who can really, is this old,

of old-fashioned, but someone who can really lead you in a dance. Oh, sexy. It is. My husband can really date. Like, he really, it shocks me. And we do not dance together a lot. Like, we just don't. We just don't.

Yeah. But when we do, I'm always like, oh, my God, I forgot. You really know how to do this. Aw, I love that. Like, he really does. I love it. That is a nice one. Yeah, it represents so much, though.

Yeah, there's a lot in there. Yeah, there's a lot. And it's like the surprise element where you're like, right, you see them through fresh. It's like freshness. Freshness. That works. Aw. Yeah.

Zombie apocalypse is coming. Whoa. Okay. Yeah. I'm planning for it. Yes. Yeah. Which three people do you want on your team?

I can only, it's just, it has to be, oh, I'm a. I'm afraid to, we're going to lose. My team's going to lose because it's just my kids. I am. Your kids, your husband's out. But what if the team is like, your team is to save the kids? The kids are safe. Oh, they're safe.

Okay, okay, okay. But you and your team are going to go fight the zombies. Okay, okay, okay. If my kids are safe, then I'm going to definitely pick my husband because he's good at lots of things. You never know when you're going to need to dance. Yeah. Dancing survival thing.

Like he has a good understanding of that stuff. Okay. Who else am I taking? I need to take... Hmm. I want to take some people. I want to take a few people from... I don't know why this has come up so many times in this conversation,

but I do want to take a couple of people from the show alone, which I am not here to promote in any way, but I am clearly promoting it because they can make a meal out of anything. They know how to hunt and forage. They know what's poisonous in the forest. I would take a woman from alone because the women built the best log cabins.

Oh my God, the last season, this woman built like a luxury condo. Just raw logs. She was like, she was starving. to death in the show, but she was like, look at my abode. She probably almost died making it, but it was great. Need her. With a fireplace.

Oh, jeez. My husband, I'm going to take that woman. And I'm going to take, I want to take someone who, Christ. You have to take, how about your last one? You have to take a comedian. I have to take a comedian? Yeah. They're so weak.

They're so weak. in the body and in the mind. That's a heart. Okay. You don't have to. I'm not going to take a woman. I'm going to take a female comedian. Okay.

I'm going to take, what I'm going to take? Maybe I'm going to take, the person who's popping into my head is like a Sarah Silverman, something like that. Yeah. I feel like she's resourceful.

She grew up in New Hampshire. Yep. Lots of woods. Lots of woods. Like, her. She would not want to go with me, but I might bring her along. Yeah, and it seems like she wouldn't rely on you to take care of her. No, I think she knows how to do things. I think she knows how to do things. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. What sex in the city character are you? Well, I think I'm probably,

I'm not really, like each day is different. Each day is different. I would say Miranda, but not from, not from this new round, not from and just not, not, not like new gen Miranda. I'm probably more, probably more like Samantha, how she evolved, not how she started, but kind of how she evolved. The last seasons of Sex and the City for me were really Samantha's seasons. And I loved how her character evolved. So I'm going to say her. I like that.

I like that, too. Okay. Lastly, what's the last thing you Googled? Good question. Oh, that is a good question. I'm going to look. Can I just look? Yeah, absolutely.

Okay. What is it? What is it? Kelly Clark's an ex-husband. Oh, I'm so embarrassed of Kelly Clarkson. Every hears this, I'm actually turning red. Because I think I saw a headline that she was like suing him again, and I'm like, this piece of shit. What is wrong with that man?

Pay your bills, you bastard. Leave him or leave Kelly Clarkson alone. Because I have been listening to this cover she did of that amazing Billy Eilish song, which is incredible. And it's an incredible cover. And so I've been thinking about Kelly Clarkson's marriage. She's really been on your mind. She's been on my mind. Kelly Clarkson's ex-husband.

I don't want any trouble for her. I love her. Anyway, I'm really smart and I really belong in topical comedy. Yes. Oh, my God. That's my favorite answer, I think, ever. That is the best. I feel like she would appreciate that.

Yeah. I want the best for her. I don't know that. But I do. I know. We know it. I needed to know what shit that guy was getting up to again. Yeah.

I don't like it. Did you find out? Did you find out? She's suing him again. She had to sue him because he was operating as an unlicensed talent manager. I think he just stole a lot of her earnings. Oh, because he was acting as her. talent manager.

Yes. So he was getting a percentage. Yep. But he wasn't actually a manager. He wasn't actually, yes. Believe that he has been misrepresenting himself. You know what? He's going down.

He's going down. He's not going down. That's not going to fly. That does not fly. You can't fuck with Kelly. Did you fuck with Kelly Clarkson? Yeah. I almost called her Clarkson Kelly.

Well, either way. Not fuckable. My dyslexia. I mean, not fuck. I mean, not fuck with the bull. Did not mean. You can't fuck with her. You can't fuck with her.

You can't. No. Don't do it. And there's an army of women that are going to Google him. I'm hearing this. They are all. Yeah, we're all Googling him. We are the Kelly Clarkson army.

That is what. Precious woman. She needs to keep her energy so she can sing for us. We must protect her at all costs. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. Well, this has been very, very entertaining, very mind's blown. The best story I think I've ever heard about your rat encounter.

Thank you. I really do appreciate. I mean, I really needed that today. I'm glad. Yeah. Happy to provide. But yeah, your new podcast, The Defenders. Everyone have a listen, wherever you listen to your.

podcasts. You have the best podcast voice. You do have a really good voice. It's like really soothing. Microphone. Yeah. Well, it's not just a microphone. No, it's you.

Just soft. Say thank you, member. Thank you. No. Thank you. Right. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much. This is so fun. Thank you so much. So much. You're so nice to meet you. So nice to meet you. Okay. Okay.

Hello. Hello. Is Jane there? I have a pet peeves. Can we talk pet peeves for a second? Please. Let's do it. You know what really is a pet peeve of mine? When you're on Instagram and you know like you see memes or whatever and at the end it'll be like some like quote and then at the end it says, I felt that. Oh.

That's a pet peeve of mine. Like someone will write that idea? They'll be like. Yeah, no, they'll be like, you know, Bob Marley said about a woman like it's. the perfect woman, da-da-da-da-da. I felt that. Like, they'll say the quote, but then after their own thing is commenting on the quote, I felt that. And I felt that.

I mean, you just think we should assume they felt that if they decided to repost it? I would go ahead and guess they felt it. Yeah. I don't know that I've ever witnessed someone say, I felt that. No, it's under like every meme. Do you know what I'm talking about? And I felt that. No.

Seriously? I'm just being targeted. You're all targeted. targeted. You're at to send us these. Crazy memes. I just watch monkeys. She just watches monkeys on TikTok.

I get like crazy self-help memes. So speaking of TikTok, we went to the Black Hawk's Kings game this week. And we were sitting like right behind the goal. And there was these like two 20-year-olds in front of us. Yeah. That. Just TikToking?

Well, no. A bunch of little kids kept coming. up to them during the game to take pictures with them. And we were like, what is happening? Happening. And what is happening? It was very obnoxious. And they were, it was some like Twitch guy and some like.

That's so crazy. Snapchat, TikTok. They love them. They love them. YouTube or TikTok or whatever. The entire game. There was like people yelling from like behind us. That's crazy.

And then they were. trying to talk to us because the woman was from Chicago. So she was ringing for the Blackhawks. So she just, she really wanted to make friends with Natalie and I. And Natalie was like, why are these people talking to me? Yeah. Yeah. So then it got put on me to have to talk to them every time they turned around. Like I got to ask four times what I thought of, Connor Bedard. And just they kept asking. And you kept talking. I kept answering. I kept answering. Yeah. I kept seven Same thing. But Natalie ended up finding...

The people? Finding them. And she's like an only fan's like Instagram model, which made it even weirder that these like 13-year-olds were coming up to her. Yeah, but she's the girlfriend of the YouTuber, right? He had less of a following than she did. Really? So he was the first one that people came up to.

And then we were like, okay, this guy must be a gamer. because they said something about gaming. But then they kept coming up to her after that. It's so crazy. And then a dad came up with his son on FaceTime to meet her. Who is she? Can we look her up? They were nice.

They were totally pleasant. But the kids just like... I mean, she's hot. Yeah. These girls, man, I'm telling you, they're so hot. All these young girls. They were making bets with each other on the game. Like the couple.

Yeah. And like $10,000 on like who they thought was going to win. What? And then they were like, well, neither one of us need $10,000. It's fine. Natalie found some video of her like being interviewed. And it was like, how much are you making a month on OnlyFans? And it was over half a million dollars.

Get your fucking feet. on only fans. Okay. I think it has to happen. I mean, I think it has to happen. I think we got to do it. You got to do it. What if I, like, rubbed your leg with my foot?

No. How much do you think we could get for that? The sad part is that's what my son wants to be as a YouTuber. An only fan. He wants to be an only fan model. It's spiritual. It's spiritual. A YouTuber.

Yeah, well, it's a lot of money there. Yeah. People are just watching. and play games. Yeah. Would you let your kid do it? No, I don't. Well, I wouldn't

not let him if he was like really... I mean now. Like Elliot wants to do it now and he has a friend at school who does it and he's like, they do it and their parents let him so he's on us

to let him have a YouTube channel and we keep saying no. I wouldn't love if Calvin did. I mean that whole time all the kids were coming up to her we were just like, I hope. Calvin is not like this soon.

Right. These 13-year, like, so we, they were sitting right behind the goal. They were first row. We were second. And then behind us, like, two kids camped out that were big fans of hers. So we just heard them snickering and talking about her the whole time of just like, I need to call my cousin, like, and do you think, like, she'll repost the story if we take a picture together. And they're, like, trying to get pictures of her.

And we were just like, I hope this is not how Calvin ends up. And what do we do if he is like this? But that's what I'm saying. It's a hard thing to navigate because you're like, what if they really enjoy it? Like, Elliot loves coding. He's obsessed with coding. And that, I think, is cool. Like, you're creating your own video games.

That's rad. He's writing code. Cool. He wants a YouTube where he's teaching people how to code. Yeah. I think there's versions of it. you can like try to push it in a productive direction. Yeah, but if it's just like...

Yeah, but if it's just like... Welcomes creepyzoids. Yeah, I think it's less... I think you can put like restrictions or something, right? And like if Elliot learns to make videos and edit them right now, like that's a great tool for... He already is. I know, but that's a great tool for him to start learning now and get his 10,000 hours in. You're changing my mind a little bit, both of you.

But I also like You're like I didn't see anything Thinking of him looking back in 10 years At a YouTube channel of hundreds of videos Of him being like Would you want that for yourself Like do you wish you had a YouTube channel documenting what you were like

And how you were thinking when you were his age? I wish I wasn't on one now So maybe there's a world where it's like a Would you like now? Yes. Would you like Cal? It depends. I would... I don't know. Jeff's a yes, no.

He's like, why wouldn't he make and create videos and put up his own thing where he's doing coding and making video games and, like, it's a creative outlet for him. Who cares? But in your feeling protective... Of just opening them up to the public. Yeah, yeah, of like people commenting mean stuff on there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the part. I'm not a fan of... putting kids out there like that. Yeah. But if you can turn it into like a project that you work on with him and you're like learning how to do this together and maybe it's not for public consumption

or it's just for it's private videos that he can have his friends. Can't you do like password encrypted videos on? Password encrypted. What? He's also DJing now making his own beats. Love it. How old is he? Nine.

Eight. Eight. He makes really good beats. Like a shocking. He's so cute. You know, Shep's starting to look more like Elliot, too? Like, when you did the video, maybe because he's getting older. Yeah.

I was like, Elliot, like, it took me, I had to do a double time. Oh, really? Yeah. We went to eat. Yeah. Yeah, it was cute. Yeah. The difference between the two kids, we're sitting there.

Shepard's running around the whole entire place, like a monster yelling at everyone. And Elliot's like, can I take my book and go read on the rocks? I was like. I'm going to go write poetry in the books. Yeah, I'm like, you're such a mood. Like, what is that? He is such a mood. Elliot is a straight mood.

He's a mood. He is. I know. And so is Shepard. Just a different mood. Completely different. He's like, the vibes from this waitress are off. And I felt that.

Yeah. I felt that. I felt that. Yeah, I can't believe you guys don't know what I'm talking about. I almost feel like I need to like find. Oh, you're back on the meme? Yeah. You know, it's weird is that we spend so much time.

together that I get targeted ads for Rachel. Like, I'll be talking to her about her stuff and then I start getting all the videos for it. I think so, yeah. Some of that is the, like, I think there is voice tracking. Of course there is. When you talk about things. But also, I think they know, like, when you're on the same network, internet-wise, like, it'll... We're not looking at.

We're together. You're on her Wi-Fi. Yeah, but we're talking about, like, intimate details of each other's lives. And then I start getting targeted. ads based on what we're talking about. Yeah. I'm not looking it up. You know? Like what should Rachel do about her toe? Yeah, what should I do about my toe?

Here's the fungus cream. You're getting targeted for that? I... How is your foot? It's not good, guys. I had a mindset, like, really cool. I didn't send it to you yet. No, it's too serious. I don't want to get into it. I'm trying to find an example of... She's like, it's too good. I'm not going to bring it up. We'll just send us it next time it happens. We understand it. I know.

I think seen example of it really won't help this conversation. All you guys are going to get from me now are so many means. And it's like, and I felt that. And I felt that. It's like, and it's a whole quote. And I felt that. You're like, duh. No shit.

We believe you. You know that. Yeah. No. See, this is my thing, right? Growing up with an older brother constantly. Like, you don't know what that. the fuck you're talking about.

No, we believe that you're getting these memes. Yeah, we believe it. Thanks for believing. And we believe you know what the fuck you're talking about. And we believe that you feel it. Yeah. It means a lot. Yeah.

We've had a couple moments that we're really proud of Rachel for lately. Really? Yeah. Thanks. I don't know what she's talking about, but yeah. Yeah. It's true. Mm-hmm.

You know what? And we can talk about it a little bit. You feel that? I feel that. I feel that. Here's what we can talk about. What can we talk about? There's a space between stimulus and response, right?

And we get a lot of stimuli of people's ideas, things people think we should do, a lot of stimuli coming at us. This is the stimuli, right? It takes a lot of discipline to quiet that noise and to go inside and make. choices that are based on your internal guidance system, not the world around you. And we've had a couple moments where I've been really proud of you for doing those kind of things. How's that feel? It feels good.

Yeah? Yeah. I chose wisely. Wisely. What are you talking about? I want a pizza. She wanted tacos. You wanted sandwich?

I wanted turquins and she wanted tacos. Any fun summer plans coming together? No. I'm taking Calvin on a road trip. What? Where? We're going to drive back to Chicago. Like in a camper van?

Not a camper van, a regular vehicle of some sort, but I think we're going to do like national parks in Utah. Just the two of you? That's very cute. Natalie hates driving. So she's going to fly back with Vincent. And then you guys are driving. there? Yeah, we're going to take like maybe a week. That is very cute.

To get out there and do like Utah and then like telluride, Colorado, or Denver. Telluride, Denver, and then probably just straight to Chicago. There's nothing really. You go to Wyoming. Would she do it if it was an RV? No, she just doesn't like sitting in a car for eight hours driving. We'll see how Calvin does. He's a puker in the car. I know. You can't give him an iPad or anything. He'll puke, right? Yeah. He'll have a bag. Oh, geez.

I know. Rob, you know, he'll send his pictures. Like, oh, well, he puked. There goes the in and out. Poor guy. He's like fine after that happens. Yeah, and I'll get him over it. Yeah, I'll get him like dramamine.

That worked for me when I was a kid. Oh, so you had the same thing? Yeah. You would throw up? Yeah. Oh, he takes after dad. It was always, like, right when we're about to get home. It's like in our neighborhood.

It's usually when he puked. We'd be driving back from Mammoth and then just like on the Shakespeare Bridge by her house Then he decides to puke Aw You made it so far I want to go on a road chip in an RV More than anything

Yeah That's all I want to do Really I've been a lot of places But what I want to do is drive in an RV Across the country This bitch would drive it too The RV

If I had to I would What's the biggest vehicle you've driven? I've driven big vehicles. I mean, I've driven, like, equipment, like, excavators and things. Oh, my God. When? Like, once.

Not like I just, like, drive them. But, and then we had a duly a long time ago. It's huge, and that was, like, our car. So I would drive that. Oh, I guess. What's a duly? So, like, a huge pickup truck. I could afford, like, 350, like, the biggest pickup trucks,

but they have double wheels in the back. So it's a duly, right? So, like, there's, like. Dual. Yeah. I love a girl in a truck. I like that. Yeah. I think we're not going to do an RV. I think I'm just going to get a bigger. It's just, I've done, I've done the like 15 passenger van with a trailer attached to the back. No, that's not the same.

I know it's not the same, but having done that through windy mountains. Cruise America. Just get a little one for you and Cal. He might do better. Maybe. I feel like he would do better. I mean. Just a thought. So. We haven't talked about Mammoth when we went to the Blizzard. No. We haven't?

I don't think so, have we? That was a time. That was a time and a half. Oh, we had fun. We had fun. But on the way up, all we're getting are articles. So there was like a blizzard coming. Yeah, you guys asked me to get you in to dinner.

Yeah. At Michael Voltajio's spot that night. But when I had hit him up to see if I could get you guys a reservation. and he just sent me back an article about the blizzard. He's like, I don't know if they're going to make it. Oh, yeah. They're about to get slammed. We're on the way up.

Okay, I took my own car. I took my brother's car. And Olivia and Jeff were in their own car, but we caravan. Okay, so I'm alone in my car. You drove by yourself. Yes. They drove by myself. I actually don't mind driving by myself at all.

I was being told. She's like under control. I like being able to leave when I want to leave. So I like to just be able to like, if I need to get home to briar or whatever. Like, I need to be able to leave. So I drove my own car because Jeff wanted to stay, go skiing, whatever. I could. It's hard being on someone else's schedule if you need to get home, right?

Well, how do you do being trapped in a car with someone for eight hours? Well, it depends on the person. It was four and a half hours. It was really not. Yeah, it was going to pay too. Anyway, so I'm in my brother's car and in come these news articles. Like Nicole sends us headline. If you don't risk your family's life by driving to man in the street.

And like, we're like, what the fuck? Like so many articles coming in like that, I'm crying, okay? I'm driving by myself. We're halfway there at this point. It's not that bad. Like, you get most of the way there and then. There was nothing. It doesn't matter.

It was sunny and beautiful. And we're getting these articles. And it seems like doomsday is coming. Like, once you get closer, you're fucked, okay? Like, we don't know if you're going to survive. I don't like driving in weather. I've had to do it. I don't like icy roads.

Like, it can be scary, sketchy. So I'm like crying. as I'm driving by myself, like, on the way up there. Like, we're on the phone. They're in front of me. Jeff is, like, knock it off. He's like... He got scary dad.

He got scary dad. He's like, you're fine. You know, you need to stop. Like, this is ridiculous. Do, da, da, da, da, da, going on and on. I wasn't even affected. Like, I was like, okay, well, he's right, you know. I was, like, stop talking to her.

Like, she's me. Yeah. But I'm like, he loves me. Like, I felt special. I was like, Jeff's so comfortable. He is talking to me. like Olivia and telling me to shut the fuck up. I like that you take that as a compliment.

That shows you how sick I am. He called and apologized because he can be very firm. Very firm and blunt and like, knock it off. We're done with that. He was right. Stop talking about this. But I was like, it was halfway and I could have turned around, right? And I was crying.

And my family, my brother and court and my sister-in-law, my mom, they're like, come home, what are you doing? You know, so much. much fear surrounding this. So whatever. We stayed the course. Everything was fine. Like driving up there.

We got there before the storm, whatever. Yeah, it's an easy drive and you don't hit the mountains until the last like, 30 minutes. 30 minutes. It's a 15, 30 minutes. 20 minutes. Yeah. It was fine.

But while we were there, it was the craziest blizzard I've ever experienced in my life. But I was laughing the whole time. Olivia was so scared the first night. She was like, Jeff, you need to put chains on the car. I was not okay. And Jeff didn't. So the car, we got stuck. Like, it could not get back to the house.

And she was so scared every time Jeff would like take the corner to try to go up the street. She was a wreck. Okay. So we finally, we wound up walking home to the house because they got the car stuck. It was hilarious. What's your concern? Yeah, exactly. That's what everyone came back to.

Is it like claustophobia? You don't think you can. Not at all. It's when the car starts sliding and like feels like it's going to spills. spin because that happened to me once going to Big Bear where my friend's dad was driving and we hit Black Ice and spun out and almost went off a cliff. And so my concern is it was pitch black. I'm not kidding. You couldn't see your hand in front of you. But we were on flat street. Like we weren't near a cliff. But we were going uphill. When you say uphill. Up hill.

It was a street. It had an incline. So like I'm like, I don't know if we're going to slide and go off and hit a house or I couldn't see what was around. I was scared. I get that. We did a trip to Tahoe once and it was snowing middle of the night and you couldn't see more than like four feet in front of you and there was like 12 feet of snow on the banks around us. That's what it was. Yeah. And so I'm like, I don't know what's around us. I don't know what we're going to hit. I don't know what is up. I got dismissed from the car. You got kicked out of the car? Jeff said get out. He was like, you guys. go walk. We got this.

And they did. Like within two minutes, they got the car back up. A snow plow came. They were fine. But we walked home. It was quite fun. So.

I had a great time. So what else was fun was. Oh. So my friend. So we went and stayed at my friend's house, right? And my friend Fran is absolutely amazing. Like, she's a woman who married Jeff and I to each other. She's like my person.

She's right. Okay. we asked her to stay at her house and she's like, absolutely live, you got it. Only caveat is, if it dump snow, you may get one of my boys. So we're like three sons. Just three sons. How old is she?

How old is Fran? I don't know. I don't know. She's like a mythical creature. No, but her sons are like in their 20s to 30, you know. But I knew any son of Franz is going to. to be cool because I know her and she's like the coolest, she's a unicorn of a human, right? And so Rachel and Nadine are like, me, like, because I was like, guys.

Well, we don't want to share a house with like random like 20 year old boys. Wait, they were going to come stay or they were some shovel. No. No. She's like if it dump snow, they're going to snowboard. They're going to snowboard. Because they're huge border. It's their house.

And so we were like, we don't want to like stay in a house like with like these 20 year old like boys like. Like sharing a bathroom, you know? So they were like, uh-uh. I'm like, oh. And I was like, they're not going to come. Don't worry, you know. So Fran calls me Day of us, you know, we're going to go.

And she's like, the boys are coming. So Rachel's like, I don't want to sleep in the room and you have to share a bathroom. Are you looking up other hotels at that point? She was a little sketched, okay? Yeah. I was not happy. They get there. Can we let Rachel pick up the story from here?

No. Go ahead, Rachel. No. Go ahead. No. Did your tune change or something? No. Your tune changed.

Oh, yeah, my tune. Sure. But we were expecting like 20-year-old, like young snowboarders. And then first of all we got 30. Not beefy lumberjacks. Stop. No, you stop. Oh, my God.

We had a great time. Basically, what wound up happening was we thought it was like her son and a friend. And then Olivia walks in and she's like, There's three. Oh, no. Jeff was like, there's... Jeff was like, oh, Tanner's here with his friends. And I was like, friends?

How many? And the guy's like, right behind me, he's like, hello? I was like, oh, shit, I was seeing it in front of them. So there was three of them all together. Three. They made the trip. They absolutely made the trip. They absolutely made the best trip.

We had the best time with these boys. We stayed up. Like, the first night, Olivia and Jeff went to. to bed. Nadine and Anthony and I were up there with them to like two in the morning, fucking dying. Lacking. Dying. Like the best time. And then the next second night you came out. Then we all hung out and what did we play? We played games. We played games. Did we play games or just questions? Or questions? Like what's your ick? Oh, like what's your ick and all of that? We had the best time with them. We had the best time. It turned out to be like the best weekend ever.

Like, thank God they were there. So did you learn any lessons from this? Yeah. Yes. Many. What? It was the weekend of lessons. Yeah.

Mammoth was the weekend of lessons. They'll share with us. News articles can be completely fear-based. Yep. And scary. Yeah. Welcome to the world. 2024.

Yes. Blizzards can be fun. I had a great time in the blizzard. That made me jealous of, like, Chicago blizzards, kidding. Pelted. Getting just, like, trapped and then having to, like, you can't take your car, so you're just walking down the street. And there's, like, people cross-country skiing down the road to the city. 100%.

And, like, if you try to walk out, there's so much, like, little pelts of snow. You're soaking wet. Yeah, just like exploring. You're exploring, like, your street in a way that you don't normally get to. And then we had to get dressed up because we had, like, events for the film festival. And I, like, ice skated down the driveway in my heels. Nadine won best director, best first-time filmmaker. We continue, which was amazing.

And we saw some movies. We did see some movies. Yeah. And we had the best time. And the boys in the house turned out to be the highlight of the trip. Yeah, it was a great time. Anyway, so Mammoth was great. Life lessons learned.

Don't listen to your intuitions. Rachel. No, don't listen to your instincts. Thanks. Because that speaks through fierce voice. Thank you. You're welcome. Haller at your girl.

Thank you, Samantha B. Oh, yeah. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast.