Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Sarah Drew on Parenthood, Mistletoe Murders, and Grey's Anatomy

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

Today, Sarah Drew (known for Grey's Anatomy and Everwood) joins Rachel and Olivia for an insightful conversation. They dive into topics like parenthood, navigating amusement park rides with anxiety, her time on Grey's Anatomy, the shared connection between Rachel, Sarah, and Everwood, and Sarah’s exciting new Hallmark Plus series, Mistletoe Murders.Broad Ideas is sponsored by IQ Bar, is offering our special podcast listeners twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus get FREE shipping. To get your twenty percent off, just text IDEAS to sixty-four thousandBroad Ideas is sponsored by Revision Skincare, go to https://revisionskincare.com/ and check out their C+ Correcting Serum.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max or, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas. Brought to you by Sarah Drew. No.

The Broads and Sarah Drew. Yeah. Sarah is joining us today. We're very excited. I'm really excited about a new murder show. Always excited about a murder show. Always. It's so comforting.

You look pretty. Your eyebrows. You did your eyebrows today. Hey, I got new makeup yesterday. I see it on your face. I also started using that revision. The skincare line fit, yeah. And I have been getting compliments saying I look a little dewyer.

You look very dewy. I do? You do do, do you do, do you do? Okay, let's bring Sarah before we go off on too much of a tangent. Sometimes when the world's sick inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride we'll talk about dogs and kids and things we'll talk about chicks and tampon strings we'll talk about boys that'll make you cry we'll talk about death because people die

I'm so happy to be here. Yay. I know. We've been in chat mode. That always happens. Yes. And then we're like, oh, yeah, we're supposed to do a podcast. Yeah, exactly. And we just want to talk, talk, talk. Chitty chat, chat.

But it's hard not to, especially when you have children. Oh, yes. It's immediate point of reference and let's get in there. And similar in age. Yes. Our daughters are the same age. Almost exactly the same age. 2014.

Yes. Yeah. I know. It's such a tender egg. I know. It was like, oh, you know, and it's double digits and the whole thing and they make such a thing of it. And it's, she's going to get her ears pierce. That's her big thing. Really? For 10? For 10? Yeah. I think I did too. She's been talking about it for since last year. Yeah. It's so funny because my daughter really wanted to do it. And then she's decided she doesn't want to do it because she's really scared. Did she get a little bit nervous? Well, like, how do your kids do with shots? It's so funny.

Yeah, I know. They're actually, it's more the anticipation of it. And then they, and every single time I sort of coach them, like, you know, the mostly that what you're going to be afraid of is, is that it's coming. Right. But you always remember that once it's done, it's done it. And so they kind of, they try to like talk themselves into, I know it's just going to be the anticipation. It's just going to be the anticipation, just going to, you know, so they're better at it. now. But there was a time when it was very, very hard to do the shots. It is very hard. It still is.

And I try, you know, they have like the shot blockers and everything else. Are those sticker things that they put on? The things that you put on and it kind of pricks your whole arm and then the prick. Anyway, it was not successful. That was that. I did order. It may have been from Shark Tank. I'm not sure. It's like an ice pack vibrating thing that you put on. Oh, yeah. I love that thing. Oh, you have that thing? Wait, what does it do? I've had the vibrating thing for shots. So you just wear it? It's like a roller and they butt, no, not the same.

This is a ladybug. This is for children. Oh, this is for children. Yeah. I've actually seen that. Yeah. It vibrates. It's like an ice pack and it vibrates.

So like you kind of don't feel it. It's amazing. You don't feel the new going in. It is the anticipation. Like my God, the freak out. Two seconds. The actual thing. The freak out is next level.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God. Like it's right up. It doesn't matter. Okay. I will say though, sorry. that were on this, like panicking. And that was like a newer thing within the last year.

Because she used to have a favorite ride, Guardians of the Galaxy. Have you ridden it at Disneyland? I, yes. Wait, it's the job of the... It used to be Tower Terror. I know. I hate the feeling because I want to die, the stomach when it goes up into your throat.

That feeling is my least favorite amusement park feeling. So I will suffer through it for the sake of the children, but it's not my favorite. How much do we suffer through it? For the sake of our children. Why do I like it? So much. The feeling or just suffering.

Why do I love the suffering? No. I love the feeling of my stomach jumping into my throat. Oh, I hate it. It feels, do you know what? It feels like an anxiety attack for me. It feels like what my body does when I'm in anxiety. It's my stomach jumps into my throat.

Yes. And so I, feeling that for fun, no. No, no. I get that. But I love all the visuals. And I know Chris Pratt because we did ever with together. Oh, my God. Yes, I know.

So, like, we are huge Guardians of the Galaxy fans. And our home. My son is a little filmmaker. And he, like, has been inspired by so much of that stuff. So, of course, it's super fun visually. But the stomach and the throat is least favorite. Yeah. I don't like spinning.

I don't mind spinning. You don't like spinning. Not after having kids. We've talked about this. Motion sickness. After having my daughter, yeah. Yeah. Interesting.

Isn't that weird? Like, I, yeah. I did like six flags with my son and we got for, we did, I did a year long past just for the two of us. It was like, mommy's son thing. That's cute. And I'd have to take like half a X X before going. Before starting the day.

And very low dosage, guys. I'm not crazy. But it, that's the wrong word. Don't say that word. Oh, my gosh. So many things that we can't say. How about I am stable? I am so stable.

No need to worry. I do have anxiety though and I have medication for anxiety. But I, to go on those kinds. Those are very serious. And he always wants to sit in the front row. Of course. I, every fear you have of wanting to protect your child when you're hanging off the edge of forever. And with almost nothing holding you and if something breaks, we're just dead.

We're just, you're dead. All I see is him falling from the thing. Right. Me like dying. We all do that. The most morbid thoughts. Oh, it's the worst. It's the worst.

But then I do have fun. Once we're in it, I can, I can have fun. Yeah. But I do almost black out often in like the looped loss. And my husband was like, you can't do that anymore. Is Sarah? You can't. That's not good for you.

your brain. He's like you can't slightly lose consciousness. No. I've seen videos of that. Wait, you have? Yeah. On a rollercoaster. Is it the fear? Yes. Yes. Stop it. That's you. Is it the fear? I probably. And it's just the jostling your brain around, I think, probably. But I don't like that part. Yeah. That's the part I can't stand it. Like six flags and stuff when you get the whiplash. I haven't done the six flags in a while. Like we had it in 2021.

We did it for like several times. And then I would come home and tell my husband about, I mean, on that one, I passed out a little bit. He's like, you what? You can't do that. That's a little much. It's a lot. I have to go actually. Stella's 13th birthday.

And she is like my roller coaster buddy. Like I'll do everything. She's basically my niece. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm going to have to go on all of them. You're going to have to go. I don't know how I feel about it.

With Brian? Is she going to do it? Briar will go. She doesn't like, she doesn't do upside down. She doesn't do upside down is it. It's all very easy. I like the upside down. See, I like the stomach jumping out.

I like feeling like I'm slightly going to lose my body. Oh. Do you like the like haunted houses? Do you like being scared? Do you like that? I love being scared, but I don't like it when they physically, like I. I want to physically... Like not scary farm?

I don't love it, actually. I love it. I feel like I want to physically fight them. Yeah. And that part I don't like. I watched recently, there was something going around on Instagram of Sarah Paulson going through a haunted house. Yeah, sounds good. It was so good.

I felt so seen. She was like yelling, I don't like you. Yeah. Like any times I want to yell at her and then she would just, she fell on the floor like five times. It's amazing. It's fully fell on the floor from being scared. And that is, that is me. I don't, I have enough anxiety in my life.

I don't need to add to it. Yeah. No. I don't like the physical part of it. Yeah. When they chase you, like I could watch a really scary movie, but just don't physically come at me because I want to. You'll fight. I'm going to punch you in the face.

Yeah. You would. Somebody would be injured. She would throw down. Well, I think what, I think you might relate to this growing up with an older brother. Oh. When someone fusses with me, my natural instinct is to fight them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I had to. Oh, yeah. What is your situation? Brothers, sisters. I have an older brother. Yeah. It was more emotionally, emotional torment. I do remember, like, we would get, he, oh, he liked, and we're so close now.

But he liked to get at me because I was a, I reacted in very big ways. I was always a very emotional kid. It was very fun to target me. And you would do it by being like, oh, really? Oh, that's what you think? Oh, that's so dumb that that's your opinion. Oh, yeah. Just put me down, like that kind of like digging.

And I'd be like, and it would make me so mad. And I would physically have his, I would scratch him. Yeah. That was my. Yeah. And I would physically have his like skin under my nails. Yeah. Yeah.

And then, but if he ever laid a hand on me, oh, he would be in so much trouble. That's good. Because I'm the girl. my parents did not abide. So he would just mentally torment me. I had that, a lot of that. Yeah, I had both. Did you both have older brothers?

Yes. Can you tell? It really adds like some kind of thicker skin to you, man. Let me tell you. But it is true, like the putting you down. And I'm like, that's where it started. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. It's the teasing. But at the root of it, it's just literally putting you down. It's making you as small. making you feel as small as possible. You're the dumbest thing I've ever seen. You don't know anything. I don't believe a word you say. Yes. So you go through life. So defensive. And trying to be like, I know things. I know things. I used to, yeah, my brother would be like, you have to put rocks in your pocket. And he really made me believe if I didn't put rocks in my pocket, I would fly away because my ears were as big as dumbed.

And so I always, I grew up thinking, like, I had really big ears. Your ears are totally down. No, they're normal. Of course they are. Yeah. They would, yeah, I'm trying to think. He used to tell me my skin was brown because nobody else in my family had brown skin. And he'd be like, your skin is brown because you came out in mom's poop. And I'd be like, hey.

What? Like the creativity, too, of the insults. Where? How? How? Why do they need to hurt each other so much? You know? Yeah.

I, when, when that kind of stuff happens, because my kids fight a lot, they also really love each other and they're also wonderful and they also fight each other. Yeah. Like crazy. But whenever I get really triggered when Micah emotionally torments Hannah or makes her feel small. Right. Oh, you better not do that. Yeah. God is the whiff of the patriarchy.

You will build your sister up. That's right. She is a girl. She is a woman and she is valuable. Oh, God. Yeah. It's funny. I get very triggered when he's sick.

And I always come back with the story. You know, Uncle Alan used to. And he's like, I know what Uncle Alan used to do. That's so funny. I did that yesterday. Elliot said to my little son, Shepard, who has communication problems, he said, Shepard was saying he was going to call the police on Elliot. And he's like, they're not going to understand you.

And I went and Lee and Ray, you get over here. And I was like, you are his protector. You make him feel understood. You did it. And he looks at me and he goes, they wouldn't understand him. He's like, I'm speaking. He's like, I'm not putting you down. These are just backs.

I mean. And I was like, no. I know. It's so interesting having to kind of navigate the battles because you just get, oh, we're so all about repair after rupture. in our home. We're all about the repair and the repair. You don't let the sun go down on your anger and we make up and we admit what we did so that we can fully like lay it all out on the table and take responsibility for our part in it like very just try to do it. And it is, we were talking before we started recording how intense it is to be a parent in this stage like with

middle school kids because yeah, we're sleeping but now there's so much more emotional stuff that's going on that we're navigating and just desperately praying that I'm not messing it up, you know? Yeah. And sometimes I feel like, I feel like I'm kicking ass. And I'm like the cool, the best mom, but the best mom. Like I handled that situation so well. And I taught them something or I see them reflecting that kind of model of repair after rupture. And I'm like, yes. And then other times I lose my chit and I say something I don't want to say. And I'm, because I was triggered by something and I just feel like the biggest failure and I'm like,

oh, they're going to be in therapy for this later. You know, it just is this constant course correcting, throwing something against the wall, seeing if it sticks, and then they change. Then you figure something out and then they're like on to something else. Yeah. So it is a constant battle. Catch up. You're like, am I making the right decision?

You're responsible for forming these people. I know. And it's so stressful. I had a panic yesterday. because I changed schools. I didn't. She did. But it was my, you know, decision. And it's still a constant, there's anxiety and a panic that'll, like, rush over.

Was this the right choice? This is setting them on a trajectory for who knows how long. And the reality is that as long as they know that they're safe at home with us, and they know that they're loved and they know that you are a safe space to land, everything else is gravy. I just feel like that is the stuff because so many people, grownups walking around the world today did not have that growing up, did not know that they could be safe at home. And so they develop all kinds of coping mechanisms to figure out how to navigate and survive the world. But I think the greatest thing that we can do as parents is just to be completely present.

and always a safe space to land. Always, you know. And I think outside of that, I also think there's a level of acceptance as a parent that no matter what you do, they're probably going to end up in therapy. Yeah, you're right. 100%. And that's okay. Because to me, I'm like, therapy's fantastic.

So whatever it is that you grow up in, you're going to have your perception, you're going to have your filter. her and it's either my mom wasn't there enough or my mom was there too much. You know, there's no perfect parenting. So I couldn't agree more. It's being present, it's being safe, and it's being loving. Yeah. But also being firm and being kind. Yeah. They can hold those. Many boundaries. You guys were sitting here and I gave Briar popcorn and all I could think of, I'm like, what if she chokes on her popcorn? She's not going to. She's not going to choke her popcorn. No, that's never crossed my mind. But because we're sitting in. here and I know we're there and we're talking about anxiety and kids know my but it's just an

example of the morbid fucking thought I know yeah but they're always I it doesn't it won't ever end I think that's one thing nobody tells you when you enter into parenthood they all want to talk about the babies they all want to talk about the where are you going to get the sleep but they don't talk about the fact that you are going to parent for the rest of your life you were going to be thinking about them and of course you're going to be setting them up to launch did you guys see wild robot. No. I don't know that I can.

She read it. She read it last year. Elliot's reading it now after seeing the movie, but still. No. I heard everyone cry. My son, who's almost 13, wept through the whole movie. He's got the chills when you shut that.

Like, he's such a feeler and like some deep thinker and like so tender and both, both the kids are. But for a boy to be that is kind of like lovely and rare, I think. But he's just like, he for the last 10 minutes of the movie put his head on my shoulder and linked his arm through my arm and just rested on my shoulder with tears pouring down his face. The whole last 10 minutes of the movie. I don't know if I can handle it. You can't.

It's so good. It's so beautiful. It's also really affirming and really. I can't. It's a lot about launching, right? Like loving your kid, figuring out. how to be a parent, then launching your kid, then supporting them and making sure that they're set up for the world. And it's so beautiful. So I do think, so I say that we will parent forever.

But this, look, my parents are helping me right now because my husband is teaching out east, and I'm in and out of town all the time. And so whenever he goes to teach, they come and live with me. And they're God's gift to the world. I love them so much. They're so amazing. But I, I, had a, I had a, I just had a big kind of emotional release last night that had been kind of building for a long time. And both my mom and dad and my son and daughter all came and took care of me. In all of the way, like my daughter brought me a pillow. My son went and like warmed up a little thing and like put it on. He's like, you know, sometimes when I get really emotional, my shoulders tense up. So I think if you just put this warm thing on your shoulder, you'll feel

better. And then they all of all four of them were like, you are awesome, mommy, you, if people can't see you for who you are, you, like literally, hyping me up and hugging me just like a pot. So my parents are still parenting me to this day, you know. I'm so emotional. What happened? No, it's just, it's, no, nothing, nothing like crazy just, I'm just tired. Emotions. And my husband's been gone for now eight weeks. Oh my God. Have you not seen him in eight weeks? We saw each other like maybe five weeks ago when I was shooting something, North Carolina.

He like came down for our birthday weekend. We got to have like a little weekend to each of us. You guys have the same birthday? Yeah, he's two days before me. But I think I was just like I'm used to being able to sort of unload. Yeah, of course. And I think there's just an element of wanting to keep it together from my kids. And then being so grateful to my parents, but just not unloading in the same kind of way with my parents that I do with my partner, you know?

And I think it was just sort of like a moment where I just needed a good cry. Yes. And there was some stuff. And I just said all the things. And we're a big, you know, we're big believers in you feel feeling things is so good. Emotions are so good. Crying is like a sneeze. It's like you have to get it out or it's just going to sit and tickle the inside of you forever.

Like, you just have, it's good to get it out. It feels so good. And I say this stuff to my son whenever he cries. I'm like, doesn't that feel so much better? So last night he's like, is it feeling better? Isn't it feeling so good? Oh, my God. Isn't it feeling so good?

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Today. That's such a good example that I think needs to be shared is because so many adults or parents think they need to hold it together for their children. But what a gift you're giving them to be able to bear witness to someone going through emotion and being there for them is a gift. I'm noticing that. I agree with you. And I see that for especially watching my son take care of any one of us when any one of us is in pain, it empowers him.

That's right. He feels like so alive. At one point last night, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I just can't stop crying. And he's like, don't you dare apologize for crying. Stop. This is my spirit animal. What an incredible little here.

With my daughter coming over with her favorite little squishmallow and being like, just hugger. Just hug her. You'll feel better. Squish mallowes really do make everything better. They do. They're so soft. But that's how it should be. Yeah.

Because you're showing them that it's safe to feel. And most kids, we say this all the time, like almost every episode is more is caught than taught. Interesting. So you can teach them all day long. It's safe to feel your feelings. But if they've never seen it modeled, they're not going to believe it. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. What a beautiful thing. It was really nice. I went to about, my eyes were so swollen because I cried for like 45 minutes last night. It was just a really big cry. And then we watched the next two episodes of my show Missletoe Murders, which my whole family is obsessed with. They love it so much.

My son is obsessed with it. So that also was really, really gratifying. It was like, it was such, I don't know, life is so weird. but it was such a lovely night of just expressing so many big feelings, having my precious humans in my life just gather around me and love me and care for me and then celebrate this thing that I love so much that I worked so hard on and then have them and watch them all like love it and enjoy it. I went to bed and it was like my eyes are like swollen shut, but my heart is so full.

That is the sweetest. That's the feeling. So good. Right? That like, you know, after a good cry where you just feel that warmth in your heart. And it's like something takes over and you're like, I feel better. Yes. And then getting to share that with them is really cool.

And also, like, I would imagine as a working actress, there's a lot of highs and lows about what you do professionally. Yes. Yeah. What is your relationship to that with them? Like, how much do you let? them in on that? How much do you share? What's that experience like? I mean, we talk a lot about how, you know, I like to be as open as possible, you know, whenever I'm in sort of like interview situations or whatever, I like people to see my heart. I like to express vulnerability. I think

people learn from that. And that's what I like to bring into all my relationships. But you also do have to be really careful about exactly how you talk about everything. And you can't be 100% honest about everything that's going on. Right. In public, because people grab it and turn it into something else, and you never know where it's going to go. And I think one of the biggest, you know, we talk about how I am, my legal last name is my married name in order to keep and preserve the separateness

of Sarah Drew, the actress and the professional. And then Sarah Lanfer, who's part of the Landfair family. And this is mom and dad. dad and this is, we're the, you know, at church, we're the Lanfer family, we're the landfers, you know. And so there's something about separating the two while also trying to be as authentic as I can possibly be out in the world as well. I do think, I do talk to them, though, about that, about how that is a tight rope act. And it's a constant sort of navigating, you know, what, there are things you have to.

be careful about talking about, that I'm very comfortable talking about with my dear friends, you know? Of course. So, yeah, I think separating the two, but I still am Mommy, but I'm Sarah Drew doing the work over here. But the way I show up at work is very much mommy, Sarah Landfrey. You know, I show up with a whole heart and when I'm on set and, you know, they get to witness that.

They come to set. They visit. I've been sharing a lot more with them lately because my son is really into filmmaking. He makes his own short films. We started making movies together during the pandemic. We bought like a giant green screen. And now he's like editing on Final Cut Pro and building his own special effects. So fun.

So they're and Hannah, they both act. They both do musical theater. Yeah. And they're both little performers as well. So we have that really fun thing that we share in common. another big thing I think is I travel a ton for work and that is always hard when I leave homes. But I always, I have a very strict rule that I adhere to, which is when I leave to go do something. If I've been presented with the opportunity, my husband I always talk about, is this a story you want to tell?

Is this valuable? Like, do you want to tell this story? If the answer is yes, then you go for it. You bring your whole heart to it. It's, it's, you never half ass anything. This is, and, and you treat it with the gravity it deserves and with the joy and the gratitude that it deserves. So if I'm leaving to go shoot something and I'm leaving my kids, I don't leave going, oh,

I hate that I got to go. It just sucks. I go, oh, man, it's hard to be away from you. It's always hard to be away from you. But I am going to do this thing that I was made to do. And I feel so joyful when I get to do this thing. It was, it's part of who I am and it's part of how I believe I'm loving the world. So it is, it's a gift that I get to go do this.

And I love what I do. So now they know it's a really, it's a subtle shift, but it makes all the difference in the world. Yeah. So then when I like call or I'm FaceTiming, my son's like, tell me about your favorite scene you get to shoot today. Like what, what is, you know, like he's now in the vibe of it's exciting that you're doing this thing. You know. Kristen Bell said the same thing. She said she never says like, oh, I have to go work.

No. Drew Barrymore said that too. Yeah. They very much like, yeah. I think it's such a great thing because then you're closing the conversation if you do it otherwise. I did that recently because like I never leave my daughter ever. And I haven't left her for more than like a night or two in at least six years.

And I went on this trip and she was like so upset that I was leaving. And I had big feelings about leaving too. But I told her, I was like, but this is. something Mommy really wants to do and I'm excited to do. And, you know, like, I painted it in a different way of, like, it's something that I really was happy. Yeah. Even though it's always hard to leave her. Of course. And it was like the first time I got to do that. She can get excited for you. Like, traveling is the coolest thing. And if you ever have the opportunity, I want you to take it. Yes. Exactly. So that was the, you know, message behind it. Even though it was hard. We both cried.

Of course. Two things can happen at once. You can cry because you're leaving and you can can be excited, but it opens the conversation. If you close it, like, oh, I have to go do this thing. That's what they're being, that's what they're catching. And then they're going to start to make the association of work as a drag. It's something that you have to do. Right. And also, if you hate it so much, why would you leave spending time with me to go do this thing that you don't want to do? Right. That makes me feel worse, actually, about you going, you know. Yeah.

You know, because they'll just be like, well, can we afford to stay in the house if you don't do this job? Right. But then why would you ever say like, I'm going to go if you hate this idea so much? Right. Right. And that's part of our job as parents is those conscious belief systems that we're helping implement into their little tiny computer brains. Yes. And if we start associating negativity with our choices, is, then they're going to mirror that. I know. And it's going to bleed out everywhere.

And then I'm also going to bring it on to set with me. You know, if I'm whining about it before I go. Exactly. Exactly. I'm not going to be fully present with a fully, like, wholehearted joy and enthusiasm that I want. That's how I want to live. It's not fun living in any other energy. You know, I want to live with enthusiasm and joyful expectation and, like,

excitement about the thing I'm doing right now. Right. You know? And then that leads, it was interesting because Micah made two short films while I was shooting Missletoe Murders in Toronto. And I was gone for 10 weeks this summer. So it was a long time. They came out to visit a little bit, but then they went home for six weeks of summer acting

camp that they love and their best friends do and stuff. But he made two short films. And one of them, it was just so amazing. I was just so blown away by the special effects and everything. And I'm talking him about how I'm just so impressed. You put so much effort into this. And when you hit a hurdle, you did research and you watched a YouTube video and then you figured out how to do it. And I'm just, it blew me away.

And he goes, yeah, well, you know, Mom, I love what I do. See something. That's cool. That's so cute. Well, that's really great because you're at the age where your work is being actualized in them. So you can see like all of those things that mattered so much. much than I'm helping kind of bake the cake and you're starting to get to see it. Yeah.

Because when they're little, they're just little chaos bundles. Yeah, exactly. But when they were little, you, well, you were shooting here, right? I was. You had them when you were on gray's. Yes. Yeah. And so like, nothing shoots here.

No, I've never shot here. I mean, I did one, I did one pilot here. actually like right when I was finishing Grace I did I did a pilot concurrently with that and then I I haven't shot here but Grace you're on for nine is that right nine season yeah that's what I mean being on something for that long like I how long was the OC four was it only four people always say that I know I know it's kind of crazy you know Ben McKenzie's my cousin wait so we just saw that and we're like wait a minute what yeah that's we went to college together So we share one family of, like, I'm related by blood to the mom and he's related by blood to the dad.

So we share one family of cousins. Got it. But he's on one side and I'm on the other. And we didn't meet each other until we went to college together. Are you serious? Yeah. No way. That's so fun.

Yeah, we did like a production of six characters in search of an author during our time there. And we took a physics, like a physics for artists class called How Things Work together. Yeah. But that is hilarious. Isn't that so funny? Actually, it's only four years. I know, which that's why. It made a huge splash.

Yeah, it was kind of crazy that it was only four. But then, yeah, you hear nine and it blows my mind. I know. Like, that's how old my son is. You've been doing, you know, like, that's nuts. And it doesn't happen. And it doesn't happen anymore. You know, shows don't go.

I mean, you're really, really killing it if your show goes for five or six years these days. Right. So it's just... And Grays, it's still going. It's still going. What season are they in? Like, 21? That's...

I think. 21 or 22? I don't remember. One of the two. That is wild. Was it hard to mourn... Like, did you go through a mourning process when it ended? When, yeah.

Oh, yeah, big time. What was that transition like? And it was 24 episodes a year. It was 10 months out of the year. So I'm living in this person's skin. for 10 months out of every year for almost a decade. You know, it is, she becomes, and I was advocating for her all the time. And I loved her.

I still love her because she's still alive. She's still alive on Netflix. But, yeah, I think she became kind of like a sister or something to me. So it was like a little death, you know, when I had to say goodbye to her. And it was hard at first. And I think the biggest challenge for me was sort of it kind of shook my identity a little bit. Because if you're that girl that's on grays for almost a decade and you're in that family. And then all of a sudden you're no longer that girl that's on grays, but that show is still going on without you.

There's a real sense of how much of my identity did I kind of weave in. to this character that I'm playing and this family and this universe that I live in. And so kind of going out into the world and being like, okay, I'm not, I'm no longer that girl that's on Graze. I didn't fully realize that Graze is sort of evergreen and people are constantly discovering it even now, you know, but in the moment, it was, I went from, I was a working actress. I was in a solid job for almost a decade. and then now I'm out in the world and auditioning all over again.

I haven't been auditioning really much at all, you know, during that time. So it was an interesting, it was a challenging transition for sure. I can imagine. That would be really like a, because I know even from doing theater when you wrap a play, there's this like rushing kind of depression that comes over. You're like, we were a family. Oh, yes. And it was so, you're so entrenched in each other's lives and in the story.

story and all of that and then it's gone and there's like a loll. Yeah. And then, but I think that someone, my friend Billy put a quote up the other day that was like, love is having a million little funerals or something like that. I'm paraphrasing, but like when you love someone, you mourn the version of them that they were and then you mourn, like it's such a mourning process, love in general. Yeah. So especially with your work where you're in it for. nine years. And then also identity. I mean, I know you went through that in a sense of like, not you attaching to the identity of your character, but you shot way past it a long time ago. And then people are still like summer and you're like, who?

Yeah. You know? It's like other people will hold you to that identity as well. Oh, yeah. I don't, I, everywhere, you know, it does matter what I'm promoting. Everybody wants to talk about gray's anatomy, you know. And I'm, right at the beginning, it was more challenging for me to be like, guys, I am doing other stuff. Right. You know? And then, and now I, as I've also engaged with more fans and heard people's stories about

how much April's stories have affected them and the fact that she's still affecting people now, I have a real tenderness toward it all. And because I've sort of now stepped into this new chapter of my life and I'm now, you know, writing and producing and directing and like doing all kinds of other stuff and making my own stuff. And there's there's a sense of like, yeah, that was such a beautiful chapter of my life. And now I'm in this new space and I don't have the kind of attachment that I had to. Yeah. before. But it was a rock to the, it shook me. It definitely shook me. And I think one of the really beautiful lessons was sort of learning that everything in this industry is transitory. Things come and go all the time. What matters is the relationships that you're building in the present moment. What matters is the stories you get to tell and got to tell. And those things kind of, especially if it's film and television, they live on forever, which is so beautiful. Yeah. And, and, and, and

And then those relationships, they carry on in different ways. It's like, you know, leaving high school and going to college, you know. You're never going to be in the same space with that group of people in the same way ever again. And that is a big grief, you know. It is. It is. It's real grief. It's not some fluffy pretend.

It's a real thing. Oh, yeah. You know, there's weight to it. Absolutely. I went back and had to watch the whole series of the OC for. a podcast, like a rewatch, right? Yeah. And I had the hardest time. Did you cry every day? I felt, I was, like, depressed. Just because you're looking at yourself. I was 21 years old. Yeah. And like the whole time and everything it represented and everything else. And I've talked about

this before, but it was just such a trip to, like, adjust and be okay watching it and, like, just processing all those feelings. Was there like a mixture of joy and trauma in just the experience of being like shooting to kind of fame really, really, really fast with that show and kind of navigating those waters. Right. You know, it's so interesting because I was 21, but I think because I really think because I was dating Adam, who, you know, was, all the kids obviously were going through it. And I can't imagine if I was 16 years old and I was Misha and on the cover of every magazine and whatnot. She's 16 at the time?

She was 16 when we did the pilot. Yeah. And I had him, and it was kind of like this grounding thing of going through it with like your partner at the time that kind of made it like it could block out the trauma. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know, and it was just kind of like something we were just going through and we could relate,

you know, because obviously it was more so happening to him, but still just being in it together. It wasn't more so happening. for sure it was. But what? Yeah. No, no. I mean, of course. Like, no, yeah. But yes. Yes. Anyway. But, and but it was fine. Even that was fine. Do you know what I mean? Like, it was just a different thing. But there is a lot that comes along with it and at a young age. And Ben was the oldest out of the four of us. And I would say, like, I don't know his personal experience with it. You know, I think he's such like a, I've never done a. real deep dive with him on it either. Yeah. Yeah. He's such like a committed actor and like the art of it and everything. So I think that was more his focus. Yeah. He seemed like grounded. Like my perception was that

yeah. He always remained incredibly grounded. Yeah. He's always been yeah. Very much. Yeah. I would say that too. Yeah. And Brody was like the same, you know, just like. Yeah. It was what it was. Like it just kind of how old was Adam when? Adam was probably 23? She's a couple years older than me. It's so young. It is catapult. Yeah. Yeah.

But a teenager, I can't imagine. You know? I can't imagine. There are too many other things you're just trying to figure out as a teenager. Like, middle school and high school and whatever. And then she's like, you know, the biggest thing ever at the time. I remember. So I was doing Everwood when you guys were doing the OSI.

Yes. I think it was at the same time. Yes, it was. It was. Because I auditioned for Everwood. You did? I did. And Patrick Rush was casting Everwood, and that's how I was brought in for the O-C.

No way. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Remember? And the girl, the girl they cast, like, people say we look a lot alike. And she was cast in Everwood. Was it Nora the North is at. Yeah.

Yes, that was the part I had to do for. Nora was on Grays when I came on to Grays. The two of us were in the same little group that joined at the same time. Yes. How funny. Isn't it so funny? That's so funny. But I do remember, like, Everwood was my first show ever.

and I got addicted. We didn't have social, there was no social media yet, but there were forums and messages. Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course. And I was addicted to reading message boards. It's the worst thing ever. It was so bad for me.

It's so bad. Because my character also came on to play like the ugly wallflower best friend of Emily Van Camp. Oh, yeah. No, I had glasses and frizzy hair and not a stitch of makeup. I was like the ugly one. Oh, my God. Oh, television.

And I, seriously. I would go to the message boards. And I don't, I'm sure there were lots of lovely things people said about my performance. You don't take that in. No, but you don't. No. Sarah Drew is so ugly that the television cracks every time she steps in front of it. Like, I remember it word.

You do. You just verbatim. Like, it hurt so badly. And for someone I grew up, never considering whether I was pretty or not. It just wasn't a thing we talked to. about my mom is a scientist and just like makeup wasn't worn hair nobody cared about it nobody cared about fashion like it was and i was so driven as i was an overachiever in terms of getting good grades and i wanted to please everybody everywhere and also in in terms of acting i was i was like

absolutely fully focused on i'm going to be an actor in my life and i'm going to find any opportunity i can and i'm going to shine in any possible way that i can so i was so focus on that. And boys were never interested in me. I did not have boys interested in me. So, like, I married kind of my first boyfriend. And he, I'm still, I'm, he's, we've been together 25 years. And I'm like, I love him so much and he's the most amazing person. I'm so grateful that I met him before entering into this industry. Sure. All that to say is that it never, I never considered whether I was one of the pretty people in the world or not. And then at, but as like a 24-year-old when I joined Everwood and then was absorbing all of these comments. And it was so many

nasty things about how ugly I was. All of a sudden was like, am I an ugly person? I guess maybe I'm an ugly person. Stop it. It was so damaging. And then I think about our girls. So, no, with all of the feedback that's there right now. In social media and everything. We are not built for this feedback. Social media? No. Our nervous systems are not built to take in all of this feedback. We're not. No.

What is happening in the world, though, is my question. Because on a daily basis, when you meet people, by and large, you're not meeting people that are sitting there spewing negativity. No. Right. Where are these people? They're hiding. Who's raising them to be so mean?

Spirit it. I don't understand it. It's so hard. I mean, it's the same reason why they look, all of these companies know that the algorithm, they know, they know what is a successful algorithm and what a successful algorithm is, is the most salacious, the most negative, doesn't matter if it's true or false. Anything awful, anything that tears somebody down or especially if someone is, the height of something. That, oh, that is a, that is a plus on the clickbait meter, right? Anything we can do to rip people down. And it's so sad. You don't, you don't get clicks if it's full of positivity. Right. Positivity does not sell. No, it doesn't sell. So what is up with that? I think it's a deep ingrained human nature shit. I'm looking at you for the answer. I know. I just think there's so much good in us. And I think there's also some just ugliness in all of us, you know. And I think you have to. The reason we have to teach our kids boundaries because if they didn't have them, they would choose the ugly. Right. They just would.

You have to physically tell them not to stick their finger in the socket or they will. You have to tell them don't hit that person because that person made you angry, learn some self-control, because the human nature wants to hit the person who said the mean thing, you know? So we are, it is an active work of our humanity to combat that. It is inherent in us that ugliness. We got to fight against it. That's what we're doing as moms, you know, that's what we're doing as parents, that's what we're doing as storytellers in any possible way that we can, I think. Yeah, it's really depressing. No, it really is.

Because you're like, you know, you raise humans or even you as a human yourself as a storyteller, right? Like you're compelled to tell stories, what is your why? It's never to hurt people, right? No. I don't think it is with you, right? What would be your why for being a storyteller? Is to tell stories that make people feel less alone, make people feel seen, ultimately, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, connection building. I don't, I want to sit, I want to, and I like a story of redemption because I think

life is messy. You have to acknowledge the pain, but there's also so much good and there's also so much hope. And if you're hunting for it, you will see it. You will find it. But it's, it's the same thing with gratitude. You have to practice it. And you don't practice it. You won't even see the good things around you because you're not putting yourself in the mindset of going, this is wonderful, this is great, this is great. It's not pretending like the shit isn't there. The shit is there. There's no question about that, right?

But the practice of going, yes, and, yes, and there can be repair after rupture. There can be. We can model it in our relationships. We can model it with one another. We can model it with a way that we show up behind our keyboard when we're commenting on things. There are so many ways to model. and practice the goodness because it's there. You just have to work for it.

And it's easier to just do the base negative gross thing, which sucks. I hate that. Isn't it? And do you ever find people get annoyed? This happened this morning where my husband was like griping about something. And it was to me. It was in a safe space. He wasn't going to go take it anywhere else.

Right. And I'm like, but what if? what if it's happening for you and this happened so that you could see this and this is what and he's like, I can't do it right now. Yeah. It's just like no. Just not now. Just no.

I guess you. And I'm like. It's so funny. I know. I think you got to pick your moments obviously. I try. Sometimes people, it's like I love the question. Do you want to, are you in a seeking solution moment or you should be in your feelings?

That's what we always do. We always do. We're like, do you want input or feedback? We know you're upset about this. Do you just need to like... Do you want to vent? Yeah. I will sit here and scream at the evils of your life with you and cry and rage with you.

Or if you would like me to, I can also put my boots on the ground and figure out how we can figure out a solution. Yeah. He's like, I don't need that right now. And I was like, okay, got it. You want to vent. And then he was like, no, I don't really want to bend. I'm done. And he was like, what were you doing?

doing and I was like, I was just like being Tony Robbins. Like that's what I was doing. But I get it. Sometimes people don't want to be in gratitude or, and I'm not saying my husband, but I'm just saying in general, I think sometimes people really want to be in the problem. In the rage. Yeah. But by the way, we all want that at different moments.

I, there are absolutely like, look, I'm talking here, sitting here talking about like looking for the pause of whatever. I am not always practicing that. There are times when I just want to burn something down. I'm so mad. And I just want to sit with my friends where they, or my husband or my parents or whatever, where they can all reflect exactly why I'm so angry and go, yes, that is righteous. You should be angry about that. I am angry with you. Like, there is, there is a value in that. It's the kind of like moving through, you have to move through the real stuff. in order to get to the place on the other side of it where you're going to, okay, what's the redirection here?

You know, what is the, where do I, where do I move through this so I don't have to live in that? I think some people just stay in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. They like to live there. Which is, it's a very unpleasant place. I can't be around it anymore. Yeah.

I really can't. If I pick it up, I'm like, oh, this person just really wants to be in their anger or these feelings. I'm just not, I can't. Can't do it. I can't do it. Yeah. I can't do it.

No. Our time in the day is valuable. Right? Too many things to do. I got too much. I got to go to the store. I have now been talking for an hour and a half about how someone has wronged you. Yeah.

I'm like your time's up. Time's up. Times up. But it's also moods are contagious. Oh, yeah. Energy. No, I don't need to see that. I don't need to see that.

My brother and I were talking last night while cooking and he, And he was like, you know, something you said really went in a long time ago and it made me look at things different. And I was saying to him, you are the sum of the five people you surround yourself with. So if you don't like what you're surrounding yourself, there's something in you you don't like. If you want to be different, you have to surround yourself with what you want to be. Yeah. And so you are the sum of the five. I really like that.

I love that. It's trying to think who are my five. I know. I'm trying to think, too. I feel like I have different people in different circles, too, that it's not all one combo. But where are you giving your energy? Right. Who are you going to for feedback?

Who are you? Because that's what you become. And you look at it and you go, oh, yeah, it's just a bunch of little microcosms of people that are sharing a shared experience, shared. frequency, they're in the problem or they're in the solution, right? You don't see it scatter much. Yeah. Okay, we're going to finish maybe a couple fun questions. Okay. Do you have any on the top of your head or do you need a card? Do you have any cards? Well, I didn't look through them and I don't know. That's okay. We won't do the outrageous. Okay. Let's just do the outrageous. Okay.

Nope, not doing that. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. These are really good ideas on these cards. Nope. Oh, my God. Is there something you wish you could take back in my life? Yeah. You're like, no, I'm like an article with clothing.

It's so hard. It's so hard because I am so wired to move forward that. the thought of removing anything that has happened, I would have missed out on the lesson that came with it, you know? Yeah. And so, like, I am very much, I don't really, I don't live with regret. I'm not like a regret person. Yeah. Because I do think that, I don't know. I'm, I there's my engine is always moving forward it's like that thing happened that was painful so then where was the lesson in it what did I learn and oh look at this new thing that just came out of that so I so I don't yeah I don't know that I would take anything back I like great yeah that's really

healthy um oh god is there a role you really wanted but didn't get oh sure oh yeah um I mean, and it was such a far, there was no way I was going to get it. But Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice when the new one was made. Oh, I wanted that so bad. I love that so much. Kira Knightley was very good. Very fantastic. But yeah.

Favorite junk food. Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered peanut butter cups. Yum. So many people love those. So good. It's just such a fun. little tasty treat the end of day. I love Trader Joe so much. I do me too. So much. I'm hungry. So many good things. Okay, if you could trade lives with any celebrity for a day,

who would you pick? Would I have all of their giftings as well? Yeah, sure. Yeah, let's say yes. It's only one day. Like, let me be like Kristen Chenoweth when she was doing Wicked for the first time. Oh my God. Oh, that's a good one. Gosh, people's creation. creativity really comes out in these questions. Are you excited for, um, I am, yeah, out of my mind. Yeah. I am dying. I'm watching every single little snippet of everything. Yeah. About it. My kids were, I grew up doing musical theater. I love musical theater. And then I kind of like, didn't really see a bunch for a while until my kids got old enough. And now they, we have musical theater playing a lot in our house. And they're always, like Hannah's in Peter Pan. And they're both in James

and the Giant Peach right now. And, you know, they're always. doing something and singing musicals at the top of their lungs. So all of us are so excited for Wicked and it's just, it's really fun. I can't wait too. I love a musical. I'm a musical nerd. We just went and saw Peter Pan and it was so. You did.

It was so good. You know, once upon a mattress is playing at the Amundsen. I know, we're going to see it. You are? I saw it on Broadway. So one of my best best friends from college, Lear de Bezine is the director. She directed that one. She directed the revival of Into the Woods also.

She's amazing. I love it. I want to go so bad. I did it in high school. I did once upon a mattress. You did? Wait, do you sing? I mean, you know, for myself.

She can sing. She's being humble. Not like a lot. But we probably are similar. Like I did it all through high school and college, but like I'm not going to sing on Broadway. That's not going to happen. Right. But I had several of those songs were like talent show songs that I did in high school.

So I knew every, I went in, yeah, I saw it a couple weeks ago in New York and I was set and I saw it by myself. And I was like, it took everything in me not just like, oh, I'm sure. Oh my God. That's so good. So it brings me so much joy. I cry. Every time I see a musical, I cry. I can't help it.

I can't either. I love it so much. That would be fun. to go take the kids to the musical. Let's do it. Are you down? Yes, 100%. That's what it starts.

A delicious, hilarious rump. It is so much fun. Oh, I'm excited. I want, yeah. Yeah. I'm in love with a girl named Fred. My reasons must be clear. I'm going to tell you all how strong you is.

Stand out of an adventure. With an F, an R. And the N and Farr. It's so fun. I'm excited. Okay. Well, we've settled out. Tell us just a little bit about.

Missile to murder. Oh, Missile to murders, yes. So it's really fun. It's on Hallmark Plus, which is their new streaming service that just launched in September. And it's a six episode, um, history series that with the backdrop of Christmas, but there's a murder mystery that happens. Every two episodes, a murder mystery is solved. But the bigger mystery that plays through all six episodes is the mystery of who is Emily Lane. She's this Christmas shop owner, but as soon as someone

dies, she has all these skills that a retail shop owner should not possess. And you begin to see that there's, she's more to her than meets the eye. She's running from something or running to something. or, you know, so there's a really fun kind of through line. So the thing that kind of goes through is who is Emily Lane and also there's a really delicious love story that plays all the way through. So, yeah, hopefully we get many more seasons because it was a gorgeous experience. In the summer, you were shooting Christmas. And we, it was very warm.

Yeah, it was warm. I was going to say, because it's so cold there in the winter. Very, very, very warm. We had to wear like ice packs and stuff and cooling bands. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's brutal.

So ironic because of winters there. I know. But you're better off because winter is. Winter is so unademptible and miserable. You don't want to shoot in the winter in Toronto under any circumstances. Yes. But it's what a cute premise. I love it.

It's so much fun. It kind of has like a Veronica Marzzy feel to it because there's a mystery every two episodes that we're solving. And she's sort of moonlighting, you know. Yeah. And then, but there's also this longer through line of like a bigger mystery that we're trying to figure out. And it's also just everybody's so good that it came out so well and it was such a joyous experience that when those two things are married, you just kind of go, I want to do this for many more years.

Oh, it sounds so fun. I know. I'm like, I want to that sounds great. It's an amazing. It's a really fun show. Hallmark gets me, man. Yeah. And they're also kind of like, you know, it has all the things we know and love from Hallmark at Christmas.

But there's also like some deeper layers that. Yes. They're kind of playing. They're like really like elevating the already beautiful, wonderful stuff that they do on this new streaming platform. That's so cool. The look of it's really kind of noir and scary. It's so fun. Yeah.

Well, congratulations. Thank you. Can't wait to watch. Thank you. And thanks for coming. Thank you guys. This was great. This was so much fun.

Yeah. What a nice conversation. What did you get? So I got a highlighter. from Charlotte Tilbury. Great. Love it. I got a setting spray from urban decay. Okay.

I took their recommendations. I would have recommended the Charlotte Tilbury. So did they? They said it was in between the two. Mm-hmm. But she was feeling the urban decay for me because that's what she uses herself. Okay.

And then I got a lip liner. Yeah. I got a new blush. From? Color. I need all information. I got Desert Rose. Nothing makes me happier than this kind of stuff.

It was fun. Yeah. Desert Rose from, what's it called? Yours? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the blush people.

And I got a lip liner and a lipstick from Dior. Look at you. I know. What a day. But you know what's exciting is that you actually noticed. Yeah. So you use the Charlotte. I can never say it.

Tilbury setting spray. You do. I do. Dang. I like it. I know. I've used yours and I like it. And that's why I got a setting spray.

Yeah. Although, you know. No. You can use anything for a setting spray. Like if you have... Yeah. Like Aquanette. No.

But like if you have like rose water, you know, like you just keep like the... Oh, really? Yes. Highly recommend any of that kind of stuff too. So I'd never... Why does someone use a setting spray? Osea has a really nice spray that I use as a setting spray. I wish I knew.

the exact name of it right now. That's okay. Yeah. Anyway, any spray works. My main point is a setting spray is very important to a final finishing. So I'd never done it, and I'd never done it on myself. Interesting. Never.

Ever? No. Never. And then I started using yours when we'd get ready together, and I was like, oh. Yeah. It just like adds a little finish. Right? finishing spray you are very dewy oh i also got a highlighter yes the dewy might be the revision

skin care uh which highlighter like in a compact or in a one is it the duo where it has like a bronzer and highlighter no it's just highlighter would have recommended the duo well why weren't you with me why did you go shopping for makeup without me i went with my mom that's really cute yeah but you needed me yeah but you still did very good Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. You look great.

Thank you. You're welcome. Did you get a new mascara? I've been using the Thrive one. You have it. Where is it? You have it in one of those boxes. I need it.

You have two. Oh. It's really good. It's really good. That's what I have on right now. This is just like a makeup commercial. I know. The funny part is it was not an intended makeup commercial.

Not at all. No. I love makeup is fun. Buying makeup is fun. So people really want. want to know. So we went to dinner last night for baseball mom's night out. Yes. And everyone got into very deep conversations. Yes. About the world and where the world stands and all of these things. And someone stopped it and said, can we pause that and talk about what is your skincare routine?

I love it. And they were like laughing. I'm like, she's serious. She wants to know your actual skincare routine. So I want to know what was the most surprising. I think there's... Surprising. Or exciting. Well, I know one mom was using Supergoop as a moisturizer and the SPF, which gives a nice pretty glow.

Alta. Is that a thing? I can picture the label, but I don't know if it's like Ulta Beauty's brand or if there's another brand you're talking about. It's not Alta Beauty's brand. But there is a brand that's Alta. Right. Okay.

Back to that. Anyways. So skin care, I can't remember. Okay. I was told by a makeup artist recently that I really need a skincare routine, especially as you get older, I have none. I have no routine. Right. I am the least, most minimal, do nothing.

Yeah, but it works for you. Sure. I think it also depends on your skin. My skin's very sensitive. I can't do a lot to it or it reacts. You do well with the Osea. I do well with the Osea. For sure.

Yeah. And I do well with the goop jeans. Mm-hmm. Jeans. That's the line of products. It's Goop. G-E-N-E-S. So that's not Supergoop.

Nope. Supergoop is completely separate from Goop. Got it. Supergoop is not a part of Gwyneth Paltrow Goop. Interesting. I thought it was. Have you ever used Supergoop? I my skin does not like it oh really yes mine likes it

mire loves the invisible sunscreen love it it's it's really fun to put on it feels I can use it on my body it's just my face reacts but my body I've also been using the Molly Sims vitamin C up until now I'm doing the revision vitamin C but I was using the Molly Sims one is great and you're using the revision vitamin C. Yeah. Well, you look great. You know what?

I want to say something that I think is really important. What? I have a hard time washing my face before bed. I can't tell you the last time I washed my face before bed. Can't tell you. Go for it. What I do like to wash my face with when and if I wash it. Yeah.

Let me clarify. I use comidines wipes. It's not like I leave makeup on if I have makeup on and go to sleep. That does happen from time to time. The Dr. Brunner's unscented baby soap, Castile soap, is what I use to wash my face. That's not drying? Very drying. Oh, okay.

But I have very intense moisturizer for my face, like the thickest, like the Osea one and the group jeans. Like, it's very thick, the ones I use. And it's great. Oh, see, yeah. Wait, so even if you have like full blown face makeup, you'll just come and do the pads. And it's not a pad. It's a wipe. But then I will take a washcloth with water if I need extra and then get it off.

Why at that point don't you just wash your face? There's a few reasons. Okay. I'd like to hear. One. It's wet. I don't like getting wet. No.

I hate. I hate taking mascara off. It's my biggest, I hate it so much. Often if you see me, I still will have mascara on every day because I don't take it off at night. It is the biggest pain to get off. Okay? Yep.

And if I wash my face, the mascara runs, and you have to do the whole thing, and my eyes are so sensitive, and it really bothers me. Okay. Takes a long time for my water to get hot. Don't want to wash my face with cold water. Also, I don't love soap on my face.

It's not a vibe. It's not a vibe. Water's fine. Water I can do. I'm weird. Yeah. I mean, I just am lazy because, like, to me, when I don't want to wash my face, it's because I'm being really lazy.

But all the steps you're doing, I'm like, oh, it's not that she's lazy because that's not lazy. That's, like, steps. I'm definitely lazy. And a lot of the times, it's from laziness, too. I actually prefer darker sheets now because of it. Because of your makeup. Yeah. And you don't want to see it on there.

Never want to see it on there. You know the difference with me is I never, hardly ever in my day-to-day life wear face makeup, like foundation and stuff. Yeah. So it's not as big of a thing. But even I make up like on a white pillow case. Oh, yeah, like mascara. No. Hmm.

Hmm. Mm-mm. So now I've switched to like a darker green sheet. Where did you get your sheets from? Buffy? Don't know it. It's really good. My sheets are incredible.

We don't have an affiliation with Buffy, but we should have one. I got a whole set. I got the comforter set, the duvet, the sheets, and the pillows. You know what I really love? It's so good. For, like, good sheets and everything is quints. Are they good? And bedding?

Yeah. Is it? Yes. You sent me curtains from there before. Like, not actual curtains. That would be such a move. What if I just say these? That is something I would do.

That is something you would do. Did you try the cupcakes? Did Elliot ever? Yeah, of course. Oh, okay. Are you crazy? Do you know where you're talking to? I know.

No, we ate the cupcakes. The gluten-free vegan ones and the other ones. We ate them all, Rachel. I was saying this morning I was like, I ate this weekend like I work at a carnival. Literally. It brings me joy. So we went to, you know, roller skating party?

Yes. Briers. And what did Elliot, my son say, when he walked in? You need to tell the story. He said, because he wears one of those baseball necklaces, this is all the rage. I didn't know. But a mom friend was like, I got this for Elliot because he's going to be really cool now with this necklace. And so I was like, okay, she's like, it's the drip.

So he's walking into Breyer's birthday. And he looks at me, first of all, he does a hair flip where he fluffs up his hair, puts his head down and looks up with his eyes, like choreographed move. And he's like, with my newfound drip, I'm going to riz up all the ladies here tonight. He's nine. Yep. And he did not riz up one lady. He might have rizzed up Bella.

Sigma. Yeah. He might have rizzed up a 21-year-old. He has so much game. It's hilarious. It's unbelievable. Sigma for days. Wait, I don't understand.

Isn't it cooler to get, like, I was like, look, Elliot, these are fourth graders. If you could riz up a fourth grader, then you're like the risler. Yeah. And he was like, okay. But he didn't talk to anyone. No. He's shy when it comes down to it. With people he doesn't know.

He's so shy. But he'll, like, dance. We embarrassed him. He's embarrassed by us now. Why? When I started singing, was it? Colonel Flame or something. It was some 80s song. Oh, that's right. And he like, legit, like, got red in the face and was like, oh my God, my mom and Ray, Ray, like, are so embarrassing. So embarrassing. Oh, man. He has got, he has something. He's got it. He's in for it with us in public for his life. For life. Does Breyer get embarrassed? Not really. No. No. Not really. That's cool. I just bust out Disney songs at all times. was used to it.

She doesn't ever get like, mom. She went through a phase, but it passed. Okay. Yeah. I wonder what we could do to embarrass her. I'm sure there are things. Dude, yesterday I had to prep dinner, pick her up, bring her home, get homework done, take her to Girl Scouts, come back here, feed her the dinner that I had prepped so she could eat before soccer practice that we went to from 630 to 8 o'clock. back and forth and just me doing it all with her.

It was madness. Madness. Madness. I think we're overbooked as a society. I agree. Although Breyer is not overbooked this year. Like, I have rained it in a little bit, and it's so much better. Yeah.

But why are the kids so busy? We weren't that busy? Heck no. We didn't have things going on every day. No. Like you would come home if you had kids names. You would play maybe in the street or whatever. But it wasn't the same.

No, we think we've taken it too far like everything. I have a theory. What? Growing up, you used to just go to whatever school was like your neighborhood school, right? You do now. But you weren't before. People are finding different schools that suit this. You're driving all the time.

Yeah. There's like carpools. There's like meetups. Like where are you going? whatever, it's not the same as like, you go to school and you walk home. Oh my God, could you imagine? That's what I did. That's what they have around my kids' school.

Right. They're all like that. They all walk to school. It's amazing. I know. I did that. I mean, we could walk to school. It's just with Shepherd.

It takes them. Yeah. But I miss that. I'm like, I want that for my kids. I want to be like, go play a billies or whatever. Yeah. I know. I miss that.

Yeah. I get really depressed when Instagram feeds you. you like 90s kids or whatever, 80s kids, and like you look and there was no internet, social media, phones, whatever. How different? It feeds it to you. It feeds me because they know they'm hungry. Yeah.

It feeds your children from the 90s? Yeah. Okay. All right. Missile To murders. Super excited for Sarah's show. And how fun. A Hallmark Murder show?

Like, could it be any more catered to us? Yeah. Very exciting. We should probably address that Rob's not here again. Well, Rob's never here. Yeah. Rob, we miss you. Rob.

Rob. Poor one out. Poor one for Rob. Yeah. He's just really busy. He's really busy. Yeah. Love you, Rob.

He doesn't like love us or want to be here. I mean, I don't know if he loves us, but he does want to be here. I think it's like a brother-sister love. Like, I can't stand you, but I love you deep inside. Totally. Love you, Rob. Love you, Rob. Okay.

Love you, listeners. Love you listening. And eyeballs. And eyeballs. Bye. That was a headgum podcast.