Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Scoot McNairy on Fatherhood, Being Dyslexic, and Bob Dylan

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

Scoot McNairy (A Complete Unknown, Nightbitch, Speak No Evil) joins Rachel and Olivia on today’s episode for a candid conversation about parenthood, learning disabilities, and their long-lasting friendship. Scoot also shares some hilarious anecdotes about Rachel’s passion for fashion and takes a tour through her current closet. Don't miss Scoot in A Complete Unknown, now playing in theaters, and Nightbitch, now streaming on Hulu.Broad Ideas is sponsored by IQ Bar. Get your twenty percent off, just text IDEAS to sixty-four thousand. Broad Ideas is sponsored by BetterHelp.  Visit BetterHelp.com/ideas to get 10% off your first month.Broad Ideas is sponsored by JLO Beauty. Head to jlobeauty.com/broadideas to receive 20% off plus free shipping. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas.

Hmm. We're wearing the same outfit. That is neat. That is neat. What is that from again? I forget. We are the same size. That is neat.

I don't know. It's something. Yeah. It's something. I'm going to just say this. Today on Broad Ideas, we have a family member. National treasure, if you will.

National treasure. Completely agreed. Scoot is Scoot McNary. Sorry. That's who he is. That's who he is. That's his name. We go way back with our buddy.

Our buddy, Scootie. Let's take you back. Let's just start talking to him because he's the best. Sometimes when the way inside of Rachel's little brain, all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside to join us on. this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings.

We'll talk about boys that'll make you about death. Because people die. Okay, so just to keep everyone up to date, up to date, a breast. Abreast. Scoot is currently in Rachel's closet collecting items to go through. It really could be anything. My favorite is he texts, like, I'm going to go into Rachel's closet. Don't tell her.

Oh, yeah, I knew. So then when I saw, I was like, uh-oh, it's so organized compared to what he was probably expecting. Oh, that's really funny. Yeah, I mean, it's still a mess, but I feel like it's less of a mess. Less of a mess. Oh, my God. I'm dying. Oh, my God.

All right. You went many places. Oh, my God, I was looking for that. Perfect. I'm going to shut this door just because of the cleaning. Okay. Oh, my God. I love this little tea thing.

Oh, electric teapot. Yeah, if anyone needs tea. I don't think we've ever used it in here. This is already fun. Golden Girls Lego set. That's great. Scoot is assessing the bookshelf. And down, I just, don't know, just one cup a day.

Why didn't you serve my coffee in this? It's a long podcast. I really should have. I heard a real story about this. My friend was saying that her mom has cut down drinking. And so that she was like, I only have one glass of wine a night. And she went and it was a fucking gondlet.

Big ass, like a huge gondlet. Something from like a hotel room or something like that. Or a hotel lobby. Yeah. And she was like, are you serious? And she's like, what? One glass a day. Oh, my God.

What do you have there, Scoot? So when we met, like, when I was hanging out with you girls, call 20, 20. years ago. Yeah. Yeah. And I was dating your roommate at the time, Leah, and who was amazing. But after dating for like three months, we realized we were such great friends that we were like much better friends than we were ever a couple. And I just remember going to your and going into your room and being, and going into your room and it's in your closet. And you had a foot and a half high of clothes this high on the ground that covered the entire closet, there was some stuff hanging or stuffed in there. And I just remember walking in there

going, like, how could you find anything? And like, are these clean? Are they dirty? Are they put aside? Are they, are you done with them? I had never seen so many clothes in my life that had just, it was this tall of clothes all throughout the closet. So anyways, I ended up, I was watching the, bling ring. Was it called the dock? Blingering dock. Something like that. I think the movie's called the bling ring.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was watching the dock. It was like interesting to these story, these kids from Calabasas. But when it came around to your closet, I was shocked when they had the camera work. In the closet, I was like, oh, my God, it's so organized.

That's so different. And then I thought to myself, did they organize it to, to shoot this part of it or like is this part staged or whatever. So I was thinking I was going to come over here today, look into your closet, and it was surprisingly like organized. But there's items here that you have so many clothes and purses and shoes that there's only 365 days a year. Right.

You don't change during the day. I don't think so. But you have things that like, like, this still has a price tag on it. Like, do you, do you use the purse, want to sell it? Or do you use the purse or have you never used the purse? Do you just tuck the price tag in there and just leave it that? Or is this like never been used? So tell me the story behind this purse.

It's never. That purse is probably, well, it's at least 15 years old. Really? 15 years. Yeah. And the tag on it says Barney's. That doesn't even exist anymore. The tissue.

Tissue in it. I got really excited because I was, you know, working. And so I was like, I'm going to buy myself a saline purse. And it's like probably the least expensive one you can buy. And you just wanted to get a saline purse. Why haven't you ever used it? Yeah. When you bought it was the thought.

It's a very specific color. I love the color. But did you think when you bought it like, I just want to buy it and then collect it or do I want to buy it? and like, I just want to buy it. No, I had every intention on using it. And what happened with that intention? I think the color really threw me. I'm not much of a color person.

You are attracted to the color, but then when you had the color, you're like, I don't even like this color. I'm not going to wear it. Where else does that show up in your life? It was more about the process of purchasing it. And you mentioned before we started that you were like, oh my God, I was looking for that,

Which is why running problem with, I'm sure, having too many clothes. Which were you looking for? Breyer's Christmas Beanie. Oh, I'm glad I found it. I'm really glad you found it because I thought about it. I'm like, shit. You need that. Oh, I thought these were sleeves.

That's a... And this is a bow that goes in the back. Have you ever worn this? No, I have not worn that. Do you know, what's the story behind this one? Well, you know, this doesn't make me look great, but that was a gift from the designer, who I actually love the designer. Got it.

I just haven't worn it. You didn't think to like try it on or. Well, it was just showed up. Just showed up. Yeah. Which is really nice that I'm very grateful for. Okay. That's my favorite.

Yeah. Okay. So that gets use. It does because I did find this thing was attached to it. That's not to that. It's not. What's that tag say? No, the one in your hand.

This tag says the great knits. That is the great. Yeah, but why? I've worn that so many times and washed it. There's two of them in there. I saw one next to the other one. It's a pant. Oh, the pant.

The matching pant. So that's, yes, my fleece. The grate. Because this does, like, has some wear and tear on it. Oh, yeah, no. That's something she does wear a lot. Okay. She probably would be good with just that.

Let's not lose this one, because this one gets a lot of use. Briars. Christmas thing, which now, because Christmas is only a week away. Yeah. She'll be able to. Yes. No, I really was. I was looking for that.

Where'd you find that? Yeah, where did you find that? Right on top. Oh. I want to be clear, I didn't dig for any of these things. They were right there. So if you were looking for it, you look, but you do not see. This is fun.

Oh, my gosh. And then another question is, have you ever worn something twice? Yes. The Great. Yeah. All the great sweatsuits and things I wear all the time. So this is like a plug for the Great. We live for the Great.

They all have matching bottoms, so it's like my uniform. Do you ever wear them together? You only wear them? Yeah, no, always. Always together. Does that shirt, you have, have bottoms to it? No, this is just, I'm in my Pilates gear scoop. Yeah.

Pilates. It's different. I'm in my Pilates gear, too. This is a great sweatshirt. Oh. Again. What are those? Those have a tag.

Those are very short, shorts. Too short. Those are really cute. Those have a matching little tank top, too. Got it. Are you going to wear them? You ever going to wear them? I mean, I haven't yet.

Why? I would wear those. You know, I feel like you get to a point where, like, you're a mom and, like, how short can you go? On vacation? I feel that way as a father. Yeah. How short can you go? How loose can your tank top really be?

You know. Yeah. You know what I'm saying. But do you think that if you see women wearing short shorts? I don't like, I guess, you know, you're right. If they are like too short, I'm like, those are too short. But I don't really think about it that much if I see someone wearing short, shorts until it gets up to the butt crack.

I mean, the cheek. The cheek, if you see the line of the cheek, I'm like, you know, maybe for the beach. I agree. But I'm not judging. No, no, no. I'm not judging either, but I do think there's certain times I'll see people that are my age wearing certain length shorts and although maybe, maybe not. Maybe not.

Or maybe for you. Or maybe, yeah, or just, you know, not for me. Maybe not for me. Not for me. Or maybe I'll think it's for me and then I'll put it on and be like, not for me. Not for me. Or very much for me if I'm in Cabo. Oh, you know, like if I'm a beach in Hawaii.

There's a time in a place, for sure. Or somewhere where you're not going to see anybody that you know. Yeah. Which is like your house or like, Mm-hmm. I see people that I know in my house all the time, though. Really? The people that live with me.

Oh, for sure. Oh, yes. But I mean, like people. My brother now lives with me. So that's like. Your older brother. Yeah. No way.

Yeah. I love him. I hadn't seen him. I saw him at Johnny's Christmas party. Oh, yeah. But I hadn't seen him in like a long time. Yeah. Yeah.

He's so scary. He's so. scary and so tender he's not scary at all yeah yeah yeah no I know but like god like somebody you would not want to see in a dark alley no no no unless he's with you every kid is so different I know they're not like dogs but like you know you can always you can be like well I got a lab like why isn't my lab retrieving you know what I mean like it doesn't and it's like dogs are just like kids like They're so different in it from each other. And, you know, they can look a little different,

but they can act different personalities. Like with a dog, like you just never know what you're getting. You never know. And don't you think it kind of comes baked in? Like with the circle of life or like the universe. Whatever it is that does the baking, like you'll probably experience this because you have two children. They come out the way they are.

And then it's like we nurture them as parents and we do all of that kind of wild programming, but they're who they are from day one. And you can drive them to be this thing or whatever you want. And they'll be kind of that thing. A little bit. It's based of their product of their environment, you know. But whatever they are is going to come out or it's going to be the thing or do the thing and you have no control of it.

No control. So the thing with kids is you just love them. You just love them. He's just love them tons and tons of love. And they can have that in their back pocket. I think they're, they'll be good. I think you're absolutely right. Have you got, have you had to, I want to talk about this because this came up this week, have you had to punish?

Oh. Punish the kids? Yeah. Yeah, but it's like a, like a, like a, it's letting them know that I'm, the thing with punishment is, okay. Yes. Obviously, I think that that's parenting. and it's sort of like the form of punishment. So I think for me it was like, all right,

if you do this again, you'll be punished. Like a consequence. Yeah, there'll be consequences to this thing. And these are what the consequences are, and sometimes the consequences can change. If you do it again, I remind them, remember if you did this thing that I told you, I just wanted to remind you.

On the third time, it's like, all right, I have to follow through with the consequences and the punishment or they don't learn anything. But I think explaining to them why, instead of just go to your room or you don't get to your devices today, can leave a kid confused on like, well, hold on. My interpretation of what I did was I was only eating a cookie or something because I was starving and there was no other whatever the scenario. Yeah. So, but do I, no, I mean, I mean, I do, but it's by the third time, they, my kids are pretty good. They don't. I mean, for instance, last night is a perfect example.

Hey, you, you know, you got to go to sleep. Right. Can I just have five more minutes to finish this episode? Yes, you can, but when that episode's done, turn it off and go up to your room. So, you know, five minutes goes by. Right. It happens. Ten minutes goes by.

It happens. 20 minutes go by. And I got to say, you know, you got to go up, turn off the TV and go to your room and come here and talk to me. And so she comes in and she's like, what? And I'm like, so from here out, you're, from here out, like, when you ask for five more minutes on the game or five. Like, you're not going to get it. Right. What do you mean?

I'm like, well, because you ask for this thing and then you don't, and then you don't, and then you don't, fulfill it, you don't take the responsibility. So if from now on I'm going to say turn off the TV, turn off TV now. And we'll try it again in two week or two, but I want to show you that like, if you can't turn off the TV and take the own responsibility of turning it off after five minutes, I don't want to, I don't, I don't, I don't want to oversee you. You know what I mean? I don't want to, um, whatever. Micromanage it. Like you got to do it yourself. So I feel like kids, you punish them one time. You take that thing away from. the consequence or whatever,

they're really like, but it's verbal. It's, you talk about it. You talk. It's about communicating. They're not confused on why they're in trouble or why they're, you know. Yeah. I think. I see.

Why? How do you, I mean, like, do you discipline, you know? You know. I just like, I use a spoon, a wooden spoon. And that works best for me. It's, oh, my kid, she's very unique. She's very sensitive and she never wants to do anything, quote, unquote, wrong. Right?

So, like, but if she doesn't, I have the same. same thing. Like, when this episode's over, you have to turn it off because it's time to go to bed, whatever. And I think it did happen one time. Like, look, if I can't, if you can't hear me and listen to what I say and show me that you're hearing me and, like, able to do it, then we're not going to do it again. And then she'll freak out, whatever. And so now she turns it off. Last night was interesting, though. It's like a constant. It's a constant. Actually, 10 minutes ago. Yeah, no, it never stops. I have that book, The Anxious Generation. I haven't read it yet, right? But it's out. But it's out.

and on the cover, Inche Generation, it's a girl in a ball pit with a phone, and it talks about how this is leading to mental illness or something. It's on the cover. So Briar's like, Mom, why do you have this book? Like, automatically, she's like so upset. She's like, I just, I find that book very offensive. What? Yes, she came in the kitchen and I'm like.

You know, like, I find it offensive that you don't turn off the TV when I, you know. Yeah. Yeah, but it was just interesting. Her take from, she was also overtired. So if she's overtired, everything is like super sensitive. But she was like questioning me. She was like, why do you have that book? Do you think you need help parenting?

Do you think that, like, I'm doing something wrong and you have to change that? Like she was really questioning. And I was like, look, this is a popular book. Parents are reading. There are certain things. They talk about phones. That's why, you know, you don't have one. And we talk about when you do.

It'll be a dumb phone. These are all things that are just, she's like, well, because my generation, it's just offensive to my generation. If you think, she was like going on and on. What the sigma? Yeah. What the sigma? That's right.

But the thing is you learn how to parent an 8-year-old. And right when you figure it out, they turn 9. Right. And it's like you can't. How old are years? Seven and 11. Okay. And it's not like, oh, I remember seven.

I got that down. I got it. But it's like the kid's totally different. So you're like, everything I learned with this one that seven doesn't work at all with this one when they're seven. Right. So Elliot is nine and he, we still lay with him to go to sleep. right? Did I tell you this? I don't know. Oh, man. So he, I pick him up from school the other day and he's like, Mom, I'm ready to sleep on my own. And I was like, that's amazing. That's great. I'm like, you want us to lay with you and then you want to sleep in your room like all alone. And he's like, yeah, I don't even need you to lay with me. And I started going, that's a little shady. And but it was right after school and he was like, you know, dad just really snores. And when he holds me, it kind of suffocates me. That I related to.

I was like totally, you know. So he does this for three days. He's like, I'm doing it. I'm going to sleep on my own. I go to make his bed and I find his iPad. I knew it. I knew it. Meditated.

Yes. So I was like, and he's not allowed to use it during the weekdays, only on the weekends. And when he's like with friends, whatever. So I took it away. And I was like, you don't get your iPad this weekend. you don't get it for a whole week, blah-bitty blah. And then where I was like, we have to go, you got to go brush your teeth. And then he comes out and he's like, I'm like, did you brush your teeth?

And he's like, yeah. And I was like, let me smell your breath. We do that. He did not brush his teeth. I was like, you just lie. Power of the lie. Yeah. The power of the lie.

So then I had to explain to him. I was like, look, you're going to have consequences and I need you to understand them. This isn't me being a jerk. This isn't me just being like, this is what I'm going to do to take a stand. In life, there's consequences. I was like, your uncle David took something that wasn't his once. He went to jail. That's what's going to happen in the real world.

That's the scariest thing ever. Jail? Yeah. He's thinking about all the things. I took a cookie. Yeah. Going to jail. But I was like, there's real life consequences.

And if I don't help you understand that, you're going to struggle when you're on your own if you don't get it. How did he take all that? He cried and pushed all weekend for his iPad. I'm sure. All weekend. Pushing by like hammering you about it. Yeah.

Crying, pleading, apologizing, all of it and me just being like, my answer's not going to change. Oh, yeah. And how was, being that he didn't have the iPad, was his, did he change as a, as a person like during that week was he like, light on his feet or like in a better mood or like... You know what? To be honest, what I loved about it, we played so much Uno. We played so many card games. We were more engaged with each other. And I was like, I love this.

I think you're wonderful to be around. And if your iPad was here, it's all you kind of think about. Yeah, the iPad is not for them. No, it's not. It is for us. Right. It is for us and only for us. And when we need it, we use it.

And when we don't need it, we, you know, there's a matter. Our kids aren't allowed to be on iPad until after 445. There's like, you got to come up in school, decompressed, do it, da, da. And usually, since we set that 445, they get into something else and they never really come back around to the iPad. You know, Henry does sometimes, like, it's like, what time is it? Yeah. He's learned to read the clock based on, he didn't know how to read the clock. And now that there's a time of that thing, he's like, I know the thing, I know how it works.

But you look at the two of their rooms. Henry wakes up every morning, makes his bed, pulls up his thing, it's immaculate. What? He's been like this since he was a little kid. He puts things about it. He organs, he turns them on the shelf to make sure that they're right. I love it. It's immaculate.

This room. It's like Rachel's closet. It's like stuff everywhere. And she's fine with it. know, and I'll kind of go in there and pick up, but at the same time, I'm like, you know, I try and leave it and make it. I think it's important for them to be their space. Yeah. And however they want it and they feel comfortable with it to a degree.

That's hard. It is, especially for someone who's OCD and it, like, wants to clean it up, but it's like, no, just let her have her space, her space. My parents were like that. Your room was your room. That's nice. could do whatever you wanted to the walls, hang stuff on it, shoe polish the thing. I sharpied my toilet, you know. You could do whatever you wanted to, but the rest of the house was not, it was a shared space. I was the same. My mom was the same. Yeah. Right on the wall, everything,

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That's Ideas to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See Term for details. Broad Ideas is sponsored by Better Help. What do you want your 2025 story to be? Because every January brings you 365 days of blank pages, and they're just waiting for you to find. fill them in. So what do you want this year to be about? Do you need a plot twist? Maybe there's a part of

your story that you've been wanting to revise. I personally do not believe that life is about making resolutions that fade by February. It's really about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. And I like to think of therapy as an editorial partner, you know, helping you write the new chapters, create the meaningful stories that you actually deserve to live. I can speak from experience of being in therapy over the past 15 years, that's exactly what it's done for me. It's helping me and helps me rewrite my stories. Write your story with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash ideas to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash ideas. I guess mine was the same, but it was a little different. Or maybe you were like hesitant to write on the wall.

No. I mean, I didn't care to write on the wall, you know? Like, I think my house was a little, she was very lenient, but I was the third. So it was more. The third. Yeah, I was the third. You know, that's different. Where do you fall? Second out of four. Yeah. So I was like, dismissed. Not dismissed, intentionally. I was like, I was left to my own devices. Right. My little brother was three years younger than me. My little sister was six, seven years younger than me. So they were so involved with dealing with them. Yeah.

Which is a blessing, looking back on it, it was really tough probably growing up. But it made me so independent and so learned to do everything for myself. And I had ADHD and dyslexia as a kid. So one thing my parents were so great about is, and my daughter has it as well. well so she can't sleep she's going our motor's running at night and i've just recently in the last probably year and so she brought this to our attention is that let her stay up let her stay up she can't be on a device staying up but if she wants to draw or read or play the piano or go mess with her violin that that that she can and my parents did that they they said you can't in the garage

because I had a toolbox out there that I would mess with things and take apart things or what, I don't know, just going through the tool. My grandfather gave me all these tools. He worked for the U.S. Navy Air Force, like working on the planes and stuff. So he had all these tools that I was like,

what is this even do? Like, what's this tool he's before? They allowed me to stay in the garage until the late as I want as long as I kept the garage door closed. And, you know, I just remember being in there just which later led to me like smoking cigarettes in there and first to like go smoke cigarettes um but i remember that was like that part of my childhood

was so memorable to have my own space and come in whenever i wanted and so i'm trying to like you know i think for maybe ADHD it's important for kids to be able to explore and let their brain their brain wander yeah you know instead of having their brain sort of controlled or compressed. Right. So you notice a difference since you've allowed her the freedom to... Oh, big time. And she goes to bed on her own. And the thing is, it's like you can stay as as you want, you know what I mean? But you just have to come down at, you know, 7, 10 in the morning. You still have to be up for a school. I'll wake you up. She has an alarm it, but I'll wake her. And she does. She, you know, she gets up. Did she get the dyslexia too?

No, no, no. We did the test and all that stuff. And it was just ADHD. But I mean, I think she's much more ADHD than me because she'll go upstairs and it's like every single time that she goes to anywhere. It's just time just, whew. Yeah. And it's like, Lulu, come on. She's like, I'm sorry. And she's always like, and I try to be like more patient with it because it's hard. It's true.

Like she really, I know that feeling. It's not as intense. But she just, it's like, what are you doing up there? You know? She's like, I don't know. And I'm like, you went to go get your shoes and socks. Oh, yeah, right. Okay, where are they? They're right in front of your face, you know? Yeah. I will say, like, I find most kids get distracted, right? And so it's like differentiating, obviously, you do the testing or whatever, like if they actually do have ADHD or like how much of it is just like a child. Because then you're like consider like, I don't know, my daughter gets super distracted. Like, is it that or is it just, you know, because I do too. I think she has ADHD. She always. tells me she thinks I do. Like I could put my money on it. Um, some form, I think there's like 50% of people have some form of it. Form of. Yeah. It's such, they call it a spectrum because it's like, can you be way over here? Like, and I think everybody falls somewhere. For sure. Some spectrumy. Right. Right. ADHD. Just, you know. I want to know with the, because I suffered from dyslexia and still

do, but... Not suffer. It's a gift. It's a gift. Yes. I don't suffer. I did suffer in school because I hid it. Sure. And the schools back then, too, didn't acknowledge it. Yeah, I just thought I was stupid. I know that feeling. And so when people would say, it's time for you to

share or raise your hand to read, I would fake a stomachache, I would leave the classroom. Right. So then when I started acting, I would get so paranoid about having a read in front of people? How did you deal with that? The same paranoia, I still have it. You do? I like to hear that.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, it sounds like such a dumb thing to bring up about acting. But it's the memorization of lines. Yeah. It's like if I have these lines and not memorized, like, like, memorize like your, your tongue is a muscle movement, a muscle memory, from saying it so many times that you can be, have your brain completely somewhere else while you're saying the lines, because the muscle memory of the tongue has said them,

you know them so well. Yeah. Did if I didn't get to, if I don't get to that place with the dialogue, I have major anxiety. And someone's like, but you know, you know the lines. I'm like, I know the lines, but I'm thinking about what the lines are. That memorization thing was, I learned this about myself probably 10, 15 years ago. Okay. Like after, not like at the beginning of it, it was more of, like, I had to know these lines not so well.

It's like, it's beyond so well. Right. Like meaning like I'm talking right now, but I'm thinking about what's going on over there. I'm thinking about what I got to do later. I'm thinking about so many other things, but the lines are coming out. I love that. Perfect example. We did a play together.

We did. Which was amazing. And we had so much fun doing it. And Max was like, because we had a big chunk of the play before your character came in. It was just the three of us. that there was so much of that that I wanted to rehearse. And looking back on it, it was more for me than it was for Max. Right.

Max was, like, just not, like, memorizing the lines. You know what I mean? I love that. He's amazing. Yes. And I remember, like, being so frustrated because I was like, all right, let's run it again. Let's run it again.

Let's run it again. And every day, and Max was kind of like, he was just like, you know. He's like I got it. Like yeah, and he'd run like, you know, two pages. And then he'd kind of drift off to do something else. And I was like, no, he'd run the whole first act, you know. Yeah.

And then opening night, Max knows every line. Yeah. He's killing it. Everyone's dying laughing. And I'm like in shock on stage, like looking at him going, where is this coming from? You know? And for me, it was like,

I really needed to know those lines to get to a place that actually had come naturally for Max. So Max clearly had, he was like, I know him. Like, do we have to keep running it? You know what I mean? Like, do we have to keep running it over and over? It's really boring. But that was my process of me trying to get to a place unbeknownst that I didn't know that Max was already in that place.

It's so wild. Wow. I remember that Teddy, the guy who directed us. Teddy Sanders would have us, I remember we went to the beach. I remember this. We stayed at Max's dads. We went to the beach and he would just have us walk the lines up and down the beach. And I remember being like, I don't know if this is necessary.

Like I think we know the lines, but the way that ended up showing up on stage was so useful to the point where, like you said, then we could just live. And it wasn't something we had to think about anymore because it was so beaten in. Yeah. Like a drill sergeant almost. I remember him being like another lap. And we were like, whoa. Yeah. And he would do this thing where like, don't say anything.

Just moving these lines. You have to stay this line. If you're feeling Olivia's energy, you can either move like parallel closer to her. And if you're feeling her energy in a certain way, you can move further away from her. And we would just, and I was like, what the hell are we doing? This is ridiculous. And then you find your. on stage, like when the doorbell rings and you move back and then Max move back and then I move back

further from Max, you know, and I was like, okay, all these things are, you know, I learned a lot, a lot doing that play. So did I. That was one of the best experiences of my life, speaking to which Max left a voice note. Oh, he did. Yeah. I haven't listened to it, so this will be. I just spoke with him or texted with him yesterday. Yeah. Oh, wow. He's coming in for the holiday. Aw. Let's hear what he has to say. say. Hi, I'm Niggs, and I've been a close friend of Scoots for many years. Oh, God. And one of the things I think that's always impressed me about Scoot is his competence. I think that's one of the things that drew me to him as a friend, his willingness to just throw himself into things. If he doesn't know how to do it, he'll learn how to do it on

the fly and most things it seems like he knows how to do be it build a house or you know race a motorcycle oh oh you have to keep it oh no you have to keep it open yeah hold on now it's going to be hold on i don't have that confidence you have to hear it again and most things it seems like he knows how to do, be built a house or, you know, raise the motorcycle or act in a movie. And that's how he approached his auditioning. He just threw himself into it. He represented himself as, you know, an agent with a fake accent and meeting with every cast and director at every possible audition you could go to in a day. Like it's good. And somehow he's just been able to external his energy and focus with this relentlessness that is very, I think, rare and horrible.

It seems like he only pauses when he sleeps. And if he's up, he's on his feet and he's, you know, cleaning the house or, you know, getting something done. And he's always been that way, right? He started his long-moving business when he was a kid and took over to another business. I can't believe he's actually listened to him. I was running my mouth. I'll just start out a relentless capacity to just kind of do what he sets his mind to. And that's my testimony.

And I don't think he knows how he does it. And he'll tell you probably that he doesn't know how to do it or how he does it. But somehow, you know, that's just his gift. And that's my testimony. And I'm proud to speak it. So there you have it. Support comes from J-Lo Beauty. Let's talk skincare for a moment.

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Because I look at my husband who washes his face with the same bar of soap as his feet. And I'm not saying I want to do that because it dries out my skin and I look really bad. But I did realize it doesn't have to be that complicated. So I was so relieved by J-Lo Beauty's simple, hardworking skincare routine. It just makes sense. especially for my life. And what I really love is that blockbuster hydrating cream, my skin is so much more plump and doing. And I see why 100% of the people from an eight-week clinical study who try to add smoother skin. Also, I just love the container. It's just radiant and it's beautiful. And I love

leaving my J-Lo deluxe kit out on my dresser. It's on display, super chic, super cute. And yet it's actually affordable. Get the only skincare routine that you'll ever need. Head to J-L-O-Beautcom slash broad ideas to receive 20% off plus three free limited time offer gifts. Head to J-L-O-Beauty.com slash broad ideas for 20% off and three free limited time offer gifts. That's a $175 value. J-L-O-Beauty. com slash broad ideas. That's so kind and I love Max. We're just squirming over there. After we did the play like we became roommates.

Yeah. You know and the relationship of Dennis and Warren like just kept going on right into the house. The play is this is our year. And so Dennis is sort of the dominating character over Warren and of Warren sort of Warren's sort of lost and Dennis thinks that he knows everything, you know. And so that relationship just continued after the play as roommates. I think we were roommates for about four years or something after that. He's one of the best roommates I ever had.

But touching on what he's speaking of, I don't, the only thing I can chalk it up to or calculate it to would be, which I think I've maybe so, recognized in other people that I've not understood is the sense of like failure. And like failures or my relationship to failure is not something that's ever really been thought about. Like I don't think about failure. and I don't know where

I don't know where it really came from I can think I or say this and I don't think that it's probably correct but I think growing up with learning differences you're kind of and going up with learning differences in the 80s and 90s when it wasn't

sort of looked at as a you were looked at as being stupid you know until you went to a school which I was my parents were so grateful enough to send me to the Shelton School of Dallas, which was this one of the first and one of the best, and still to this day, one of the best of its kind for dyslexia,

that there's a sense of like you're going to fail, you're a failure in life and you're stupid and you're dumb, that when you start from that place and everything in your life, you're expected to fail. You assume that society thinks, that you're a failure, so you have nothing, you don't have anything to lose. And so everything, I think from that pinpoint of second or third grade when I was diagnosed and then put in with this school with these other kids, that we were, and they didn't teach this to us and say that you're a

failure or anything, but there's a certain sense that you felt like you were different. Like, why can't I go to school with all my other buddies? You know what I mean? So I'm, I must be a failure or I must be stupid. It has actually probably been a, like when an audition went bad, I was like, who gives a shit? I could care. There was no like, oh my God, I'm a failure. I was already a failure before I went to the audition. There was already a failure.

Yeah. You already sucked. So like if you left sucking, nothing had changed. So I never... Fascinating. Yeah, it was like starting the lawn business. When I was such a kid, there was no... Again, I think that that would probably be it.

I don't need to talk to much about it, but if you're starting from a place of rock bottom or being at the bottom, you have nothing to lose. And I would see it with other people, like they wouldn't get this job or they would go test for this thing and then they'd not get it and they'd just go, and they would just be so bummed and like I got hide or go into the I want to see anybody I never had that wow I just that I just I didn't I didn't I cared I totally cared because I love what I wanted to I love what I was doing and I wanted to do more of it

but the failure part was like I was expected to fail so it didn't land the same didn't land it didn't I didn't care. That is the perfect example of how, and I'm very sensitive to this because Shepard has all kinds of stuff. But the way I've seen him compensate and the way he's able to win people over without language, without all of these different things that we think we rely upon as typical humans, And those other sides really expand the parts that we as typical people can't touch. Those strengths in him are going to be so stronger than anybody else,

even if they tried to build up on those strengths. Your son, those will be so much stronger. And kids are resilient. And they're resilient. And they're almost like bulletproof. You know, that if they'll figure it out, it's like a dog that they're like, oh my gosh, my dog's going to lose its leg. Yeah. And they lose their leg and they continue on as if they have four legs, you know.

Don't you find that fascinating? I find it fascinating that, one, you started in that place, that those things didn't land in you because what I see a lot of times and what I identify with what I did was when you started. out different or less than in any way. What I did is I took those accolades or those yeses to mean I was good enough. And every time I didn't get them, I would be back in the pain because I'd be like, see, I knew it. You still do that. I know. I think those is lie.

Like, no, there's not truth in them. Mm-hmm. Which is beautiful. Yeah. Because there's not. Yeah. you're really great and they're saying, whatever, they're just saying that. You know what I mean?

Like, I don't, I, I, like, I, like, I'm not like, I'm not good with compliments. And I think that that's probably, I'm sort of realizing this while we're talking, that that's probably why it's because I just don't believe them. I believe they're things that are just being said. You know what I mean? Yeah, 100%. And so, and part of that's good is not to drink your own Kool-Aid. You know what I mean?

maybe I don't know but but I mean when Sosie says that he's like you do not like to be complimented and I was like I don't but I didn't I don't know why I don't like to be Do not buy it? I'm thinking maybe it's just because I don't I don't I don't know I don't maybe yeah maybe it's I just don't buy it because you're so ingrained in your head that you're a failure right yes we've talked about with that with liking guys I never liked guys that liked me right because I was

like, that's gross. Like, I don't trust you because you don't see how fucked up I am. I don't trust you now. Interesting. Do you feel that way? Yeah, but I don't know if it's that I don't trust them. I just, it's a little different. But I do relate. Like, if they're... What is it, meaning like you're like, I don't know if it said I don't trust them. What is it? And have you always felt like this way since you were in elementary school? I think so. Yeah. I used to change my clothes to make myself unattractive if a guy liked me. Interesting. That's very extreme.

I was not like that. And then I did it and I wore this yellow vest and this shirt. And then they thought you were cuter. And he was like, I love your style. And I went in the bathroom and cried. I was like, I hate it. Really? Yeah.

So extreme. Was it a need or a feeling to be different? or it was a need or a feeling to trying to express yourself to be like, are you trying to express that I am fucked up? No, I never, I hid it. So the guys that didn't like me, I was like, I like him. He gets it. Interesting.

You know what I mean? It comes from, though, because, like, I'm thinking about it. And if they liked me, maybe I was so used to, like, my dad was around, but not around, right? Yeah. So, like, it has to do with that because, like, then you associate. love with like absence. Yeah. Or disinterest.

My dad wasn't really around. Same. But like do you think that you like meaning like he was around like he was there? Yeah. He was there. But he wasn't like we didn't really have like we have like a father or son talk that was like this is life and this is how you do. But he wasn't like as involved.

Was your dad the same way like he was there but he wouldn't? He was like working a lot. Nine to five. He's a writer. Yeah, he was in a bit. So he would, if he was off shooting, like, you know, he also wasn't the best to my mom, like affairs and all of it. So. Oh, God. There's a lot of, um, swirling tension or emotions for you. Yeah, I think I grew up around that. Even if I wasn't aware of what was actually going on at the time, obviously, subconsciously or whatever, like it definitely. Yeah, and it seeps in and, you know. And do you feel like, do you feel like you have. a good sort of relationship to a partner or men or the people you date or like or do you feel like that there's a certain familiarity to that. Unavailability? Yes.

Yeah, 100%. They almost like if they're unavailable, then that feels normal and natural. Yeah. And feels comfortable to you. Absolutely. And then, but then there's the other where I have gotten into things where it's like a love bombing situation where it's so intense. I'm like, okay, fine.

Like, I believe it. And then they're so fucked up. They're like, you know. So it's like this weird thing. There's never been like the, I don't want to say never. But it isn't common that there's like the perfect middle. But I don't know if it exists. I don't, yeah.

You know what I mean? You're all having our shortcomings. Yeah, like perfect. You can't use that word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like the right partner. Do y'all, are y'all, you go to therapy? Yeah.

You go to therapy. Oh, fuck yeah. Is this something that you have talked about to try and excavate or get down to the bottom? And if so, is it a continuous conversation that you really never arrive to that, arrive at some sort of solution? I mean, is there something you've learned about yourself from doing therapy that you're like, or do you just learn that it's fucked up? Well, no, I mean, it's more, I learned the most from Olivia,

who's just like constantly every day, whatever. And I did just start with a new therapist who specializes in EMDR, which I'm just starting to touch on, which I think will be really helpful. That's the tapping and the memories. SoCi was going to like get into this. Yeah. So I've just, just like I'm starting to like dip my toes into it. So I don't, I can't like speak on it too much. But it's very interesting.

And I think the whole philosophy behind it is really interesting. And I think it will be helpful regardless. So I might have more answers. Maybe. And how long have y'all been in therapy? Like in general? Like, when did you, like, find, like, a good therapist that you stuck with and you were with for, like, years? Well, I, her husband recommended his to me.

And so I was with her for, like, three years. And then she retired. So on both my best friend and husband at the same time. Yeah. It was rough. And you've been in therapy? For like 14 years. Wow.

Yeah. And is that, did your sobriety come out of the therapy? I didn't start going to therapy until I got sober because I was so afraid to go to therapy before that because I knew they would tell me to get sober. And you were scared of getting sober because you were like, I didn't want to face these feelings. Yeah, I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to go to therapy because I was like, I know they're going to get to the real thing. and I just didn't know there. You're ready to face the real thing.

Yeah. And did they get to the real thing? I didn't go until I got sober. I got sober first and then went to therapy. And then once you got sober and went to therapy, did they get to the real thing? I've been trying to get to the real thing. Still, still trying to get down to the root. I think it's a work and probably.

I ended up doing like a two-year master program in psychology. Okay. And so that's where I met Jeff getting to the thing. No way. Yeah. Therapy's like an onion. Like you're never going to get down to the bottom, but you can at least. you know, peel around it.

Yeah, for sure. I was just telling the story the other day of, like, Jeff was the first person I'd, the first guy to ever been honest with. Interesting. Like, he was the first person that I was like, I'm deeply insecure and I want a partner. And I want that, like, I just, like, said all the things. And what was it about Jeff that you were like, is there a certain thing that he said or did? or was it an aura about him that made it feel safe or comfortable to do that?

I was done doing what I had done. And so I had already hit my knees with it. And we met, like, in a process. I had never spoken to him. And they were like, what do you want to work on? And I remember thinking he was attractive. And I almost hit it and was like, pick something else, you know? But I was like, no, I'm going to be honest.

And I was like, I want a partner. Like, I want a relationship. These are all the things I think are wrong with me. So we had never even spoke. And he spoke and he got to hear every deepest, darkest fear, insecurity, pain, all of it. And I was just like, blah. And then I looked over and he looked at me and he's like, I think you're an amazing human. And I was just like, but then I had to chase him for a little bit.

Of course, of course. You know what I mean? He didn't come easy. No. No. No. You say that like no. Because no. Because he wasn't. It wasn't easy. No. She had to walk away, right? I had to break up with him twice. Yeah. Yeah. What? To show him? Yeah. Right? Because he didn't know what he wanted. Oh God. It was sort of that. Yeah. She was like that. Yeah. So I was like, I'll walk.

And you had confidence. You had built up that confidence of self that you were able to like. I picked myself. I was like, I am willing. Like, I choose. choose me and this isn't enough for me. And then, of course, he was like, you know, it's crazy. So I watched Complete Unknown. Oh. Amazing. And I have since been listening to Bob Dylan nonstop. I can't stop.

You know, me as well. Those songs, I'll get to that, but finish your thought. So, you know, the line where he says, and it ain't me, babe, that you want someone to close your eyes you, someone to close your heart. That's how I felt my whole life. I wanted that. And then I looked at Jeff this morning and I was like, oh, my God.

I found someone to close his eyes for me and close his heart, meaning to other people. Sure, sure, sure. And it made me so emotional and grateful today. Did you tell him this? I did him a favor. Oh. You did tell him. You gave him a hand job?

I did. I know. I mean, he's like, I don't know where that came from, but I must have done something, right? You're like, you close your heart from me, babe. Tug, tug, tug. He's like, ah, the Bob Dylan song comes on. Things around this house has changed. Amazing.

I think that one thing in watching that movie that I don't know, but potentially identify with is that whether you're 27, 28, 30 or 60 or 55 or 55, everybody discovered Bob between 13 years old and like 22, 23, like college into college. And when you watch the movie and you hear all those songs coming back to you, it doesn't matter how old you are, it immediately takes you back to the time when you discovered them. And so it takes every viewer back to this place where they were when they were, a teen, you know, and I feel like in watching the film,

Ensoc's mom said that, you know what I mean? She was like, God, I just, I just felt like, like those songs just meant so much more to me, and it was really impactful to see the movie and hear them. And I was like, what is that psychology? And obviously, the younger generation is discovering them. And then Sosie said something to me, like, oh, and we were in college, like everybody was Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan, this. And I was like, well, Bob's music had been out for years. Like, and you realize that everybody sort of discovered that around the same age.

Yeah. You know, my household, I will say the one thing about my dad was always playing all that music. Growing up in my parents' wedding song was Bob Dylan's version of Forever Young. Right? Did he cover that? It was that, right? I don't think he either covered or wrote it. Did he write it?

Rod Stewart covered it Forever Young. But I don't know that he was. Oh, I think maybe is, I don't know. I want to say maybe it is Neil Young that is the original author. I think, Neil Young, I think. But I feel like Bob Dylan does sing it. Oh, I'm sure.

Doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to us. Listen to us. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Let's talk more about Bob.

Didn't he cover that? Yeah. But those songs. Yeah. Like, it just owns such a part of so many people's insides in a way that I don't know. There was never a poet. Like there was never a musical poet like him.

And so when you hear those songs, there is a poetry to them that you're discovering that you don't discover from really any other musicians. I mean, Jeff Tweedy from Wilcoe touches on it. He's an incredible songwriter. But even, and he's probably, I feel like somebody has got pretty close to it of really touching under this sort of poetic music that you can still identify with and hear it. and relate to it, but it's poetry. But Bob was like the first and the best. And his, I mean, geez, it's been so long. And his music still lives on through generation to generation to generation.

It really, I know. It holds up so well. Like, that's all I've listened to for the past, like, few days. I'm like, I don't even want to listen to anything else. You can always listen to Bob Dylan. A hundred percent. Yeah. My manager's son, he came to the premiere.

He's an incredible musician. And now he's going to film school and great filmmaker. And he said the same thing. He came home after the thing. And that's all he's been doing is on the guitar, is playing these things. And I was like, man, that reminds me of like when I, of being a kid, like, when you see a movie that's so impactful to you.

And this doesn't happen older. when you get older and watch films, which I really miss was like when I watched Rocky and like I went home and I like generally trained every day after school. Yeah. Of like, you know, for like two weeks or something. And then slowly it disappears. Back to the future, I started wearing suspenders. You know, and like trying to hold on to the back of cars and like how these films can

have such an impact on you. And they just, they can't emotionally. now, but you don't, you don't do external things. Like, you have the feeling of, like, oh, that movie really hit me. But I'm not going to go act it out. I'm too old and grown up for that. I might. I might, I might go start playing the guitar and writing poetry.

You should have heard what she was saying this morning. We were about the movie. She goes, did you like it? And I said, I want to, like, leave. And like go travel the world. Go write songs. Yes. That's what she was saying.

You know, like it woke that part of me. I was like, oh, all of this is still here. And that's what that movie hit on for me. And I was like, none of that was in the movie. Do you know what I mean? You're like, what? Right? What movie did you watch?

You know? Oh, my God. But it just wakes up that side. You're like, I want to go to space and really, you know, go see Mars. It's like, I didn't do any of those things. Yeah. That's why I was like, don't, I'm not spoiling it. None of that was in the movie.

Yeah. So don't worry. Oh, my God. It's just fun to have that. It's a feeling. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, no, it was a.

And everybody in it was absolutely incredible. Oh, my God. Timmy was phenomenal. He was phenomenal. Ed Norton. Who's Ed in the movie? He, like, who's Ed Norton?

We're so used to seeing him sort of play these dominant characters and to have the consistency of him playing this sort of weaker or like, I don't know if lesser is the word, tender.

Tender and stay with it. And, you know, the way he was and the whole monologue that he had about, everybody's got their cup of spoon and they bring their sand and eventually, and, you know, you about a whole, I mean, he really draws you into that feeling. And it was one of my favorite performances that I've ever seen at, yeah, at Norton do. And I'm a huge fan of his. To be able to work with him, too, was like a big bucket list

checkoff. But to see Timmy, he recorded all that stuff live on set. And so he's playing those songs and taking his own beats to keep a verse going. Wow. And each time he did his take, he changed it up. And it's all real. He spent a lot of time working on that. And he, I mean, he's a movie star. The beautiful part about it is there wasn't a single comment on that.

He wasn't commenting on a character at all. There was no characterature. Yeah. There wasn't an ounce of that. Yeah. Like you totally got lost in it with him. You weren't like, oh, this guy's playing Bob Dylan. It's interesting you say that.

James Mangold had mentioned to me the filmmaker, well, I guess when he was doing Johnny Cash, he was like to Joaquin, he was like, you're not Johnny Cash. Like, you're not him. So don't try and be him. You know what I mean? Like take all that. this that you've learned and know and everything and then just do it but you're not johnny cash and

you'll never be johnny cash you know and i don't know if that's something he sort of but i uh like carried on to timid but i i mean he wasn't he was just telling me a story but it was something that i sort of took on as an actor that like you can do all this research and study these characters as much as you can but there's a certain sense of self that you don't want to lose because we want to see Ed Norton play him. Right. With some Ed Norton in him. Right.

We want to see Johnny Depp be, you know, whatever, Waddy Bulger. Yeah, yeah. But we want to see Johnny Depp be Wadi Boulger, not a character. I feel like he speaks to that a lot, too, about keeping yourself in the characters. He does. I think he says there's 50% of me and every character that I do. That's what I feel like he delivered that completely. I wasn't at all like, oh, he's doing a good job playing Bob Dylan.

It's like you forget he's playing Bob Dylan. Elle Fanning, like she was incredible. And Monica, you know. Love her. Yeah, her voice was amazing. I mean, everybody in the movie just did like such a, they just did a really good job. And Boyd Hallbrook, Johnny Cash. Yeah.

He came into the trailer, and I know Boyd for 20 years. I hadn't seen him in a really long time. And he came into the trailer and he had this prosthetic nose on with these brown contacts and his hair had been done brown and he came and he was like hey screwed how's it going and i was like hey man like who is like and it took me a good 60 seconds two minutes to be like oh fuck dude that's that's boyd wow like wow he looked so different in the movie and he did such a great job as well what was that like for you i mean because that's a different role that most people

I mean you didn't I don't know what I can say and what I can't but you just say what that was like for you it was hard I thought it was not going to be hard because I didn't have any lines in the movie but it turned out to be like so much more difficult than I

had thought it was going to be I didn't have any I didn't want to play a caricature all I had to go off of was this books of him at Greystone in the end of his life. And when he couldn't, like, speak, and there's all these photographs of him, like, smoking and trying to play the guitar, that I just sort of went through photographs of him and tried to take mannerisms from the photographs.

But in looking into, like, people were like, what did you learn about Woody? I'm like, not very much. Like, I didn't, I wasn't going to study his whole entire life because I wasn't going to be able to portray any of that in the film. He had Huntington's disease. And so what I mostly did was a ton of research on Huntington's. Sure. Yeah. And what I found is it to be very similar to a little bit of Parkinson's, like lack of motor skills.

And then also dementia and and or Alzheimer's. And my mom has dementia. And so a lot of that is me sort of emulating my mom of like this lost sort of look on her face of being there. but not there. Wow. And so that's all I had. And so, and James Mangold, you know, he was, he was great. And I've been wanting to work with him for so long.

But he's very specific. So there was a lot of, stop moving your fucking head. Oh, I'm so glad. You know what I mean? And you're like in there trying to do the thing. and he's on it. So, like, he was very helpful to be. He was right, though.

He was right. I knew he was right. I thought the same thing about your performance as Timothy's. I was like, there's not a comment on any of this. Yeah. Like, there wasn't one moment where I think in a lot of people's hands or a different director, whatever, that could have been very overacted. Totally.

And the fact, like, the stillness and the just freedom in that stillness, was remarkable. So he was right. Yeah, no, I don't mind, like, being football, Texas football coached. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I like when someone's really hard on you, when they're, when they're right. And they're like, they're right. And I want to get it right.

And so, like, I'm not, I don't, you can yell at me, push me, kick me, like, whatever you got to do. Because if you're right, if you're not right, it's like, get it. Fuck you. get away from me. Yeah. You know? Right. But yeah, James is an incredible filmmaker down to Girl Interrupted.

Yeah. To Ford versus Ferrari, to the Johnny Cash story. I mean, he's just made some really epic stories. So, yeah. That was stoked to work. I mean, what a, like you said, like bucket list, check off in so many ways. Oh, James Angle. By hands down.

I was like, dude, I'll hold your coffee. I just want to get on set with you and see what you're like or how you talk to actors or how you cover scene, you know what I mean? I'm always fascinated with the... Obviously, you want to work with the filmmaker because they make great movies or they make movies that you like, you know, not necessarily for everybody,

but I'm always fascinated by like how they do something. You know what I mean? And you don't know until you get on set and get to watch and so so much of me like sort of trying to work with certain filmmakers, it is like, I love a part in the movie and I'll take a small part or a big part,

but what I really want is to just get on set with you to watch you. And so I'll hold your coffee. If you'll let me on set, I'll do this if you'll let me on set. I want to see how you accomplish what you accomplish. If you're very overbearing to your actors,

if you're, how you treat them, like how you get into their minds. Like, you know, some directors are really soft and they talk to you really quietly in your ear. And some of them yell at you from the monitor, you know what I mean? And each one does something different to get something different out of each individual. So I'm always, I've always been fascinated like, how do they do that? You know, how did this, you know, last king of Scotland? Like, how did he get forced Whitaker to do that? I want to work and see what the mechanics are of that.

It goes back to that kid in the garage, taking it apart. They know how it works, you know. Do you think you'll direct? Yeah, I feel like that's 100% for the last 15 years is all I've been doing is really is like I want to work with filmmakers that I like their movies to see what they do to figure out like how I'm going to be and, you know, like acting you. See an actor do something that you get your toolbox of stuff to pull from. I'm just building a toolbox of things to pull from from filmmakers.

Yeah. Are you going to have them run down the beach? I will. I will. I will do that. I mean, again, I learned a lot from Teddy Sanders. He used to make us lay down before the show. And he would have us breathe into our genitals.

And I remember inside I would laugh, you know, and be like, what am I doing? You know? But then by like night, whatever, I'd be ready for my, like, take us through it. You know what I mean? And I'd be like, oh, time to breathe into the, like. Breathe into your asshole. Yeah. Breathe out to your asshole.

And then you go, oh, my God, I have to pee. I can't laugh you guys. Have you ever had a director ask you to breathe in? My asshole? I mean, they've asked me to show my assholes. Oh, I'm just kidding. I'm joking. Just kidding.

Oh, my God. No. Crazy. I mean, yeah. It's always interesting. Well, let's not like, what does this? The director really asked you to be like, show you. Oh, okay.

It's like, what? It's appropriate in this day and age. I know. Did you imagine? I did turn down some, like a cover of, it would have been really cool. Asshole magazine. What? What was it? It was like, you know, porn central. No. The cover of Rolling Stone, they wanted me to show my bare ass. And I said no.

Well, can you go back to them? I know. I'm like, listen, this was 20 years ago. But is we always still stand. Your bare ass, right? And what were you, were you like just kind of like, you know, I'm just not comfortable. Is there something else around it that you were like, I don't want my daughter to see that? Or there was something around it? I mean, this was way before my kid. Like, I was literally probably. 22, 23. Got it. And I think at the time, I was like, I'm not that girl. Like, I'm building my career.

Like, I'm not, maybe I had a boyfriend at the time who influenced. I don't really remember the actual. But like, show your bare ass on the car. I mean, it would still be out there. How would I feel now? I probably would, I think I would still feel the same

where like I don't want Breyer to be like, my mom was on the cover of fucking Rolling Stone. There's her bare ass. You don't think that's changed at all? See, like now that I've gotten older, I feel more like. If they ask me to do it now, I'd be like, well, clearly I'll be fully naked. I'm just kidding.

But I feel like after you have kids, something changes about the preciousness of the way you hold your body. Sure. I mean, yeah, like breastfeeding, like whatever. You're just like, but here it is. You know. But also, I was age too, you're like, you care less about like whatever, the people's perception of you. Yeah. Correct. You know?

Absolutely. But you're older. So you're also kind of like, I don't want to do that then. But I wish I had this perception when I was younger. Right. We don't get one. We don't ever get it. Do you both feel like I should have done it?

I mean, I have no skin in the game. I was just more like I'm always interested as to like the, like why someone makes a choice right or wrong. I'm just more interested in the dynamics of why. what led them to the yes or the no. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Like, it's irrelevant the thing that they did. I'm more interested in the path that took them to each path.

Did you want to do it? I did not want to show my ass. No. Okay. I would, yeah, be on the cover of Rolling Stone, you know, all I think of is like almost famous. Because they have been like, yeah, I want to do it in the cover of Rolling Stone. Does my, is this? I feel like it was non-negotiable because I think I would have done it if it was.

Meaning, like, can you be like, can I still be on the cover of Rolling Stone and not show my ass? Right. Or if you all just want my ass on the cover of Rolling Stone. It was a little like, why does it have to be so, you know. Did you propose those questions? I'm sure we did. Yeah, for sure I would have. And it came back as in like, oh, we're going to get somebody else.

This was what they wanted. Yeah. So interesting. Yeah. Do you know, I always was like no nudity. Like I remember I got a part and they're like, but you have to be topless. But it was like a cheesy. It's so hard for women.

Yeah. I mean, now it wouldn't even be hard. I'd be like, it depends. on the role, right? But like this rule was like, eh. So I said, no. But the truth is, inside I never actually cared. You thought I was supposed to say no and care.

And I didn't, I did a like, topless photo shoot with this like cool photographer once I got sober because I was like, the truth is I want to do that. And I never let myself because I was like trying to pretend. Is it pertinent or is there a sense of control? Like, I want to be able to control this. Like, I want to be in control of... I think it was that I wanted the people that I, that represented me, were saying no. And I wanted to be like, I'm a respectable.

Yeah, like, I'm respectable and all of that stuff. But the truth of the matter is, like, if it was really up to me, it wouldn't have really bothered me. Right. I remember like I did a movie and there was a sex scene and the reps are all like, you know, absolutely no nudity, whatever. And we go to shoot it and I have like pasties on or whatever. And in the middle of it I'm like, why the fuck am I wearing this? If we're doing this scene and like really in it, I was like about to be like, fuck it, take them off.

In hindsight, probably better I didn't. I was really young. But like when you're in it, it just didn't matter. Did the pasties really change? You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. Like, once you're basically naked, you're just putting on a different. A sticker on your nipple.

A sticker on your nipple. It is a little bizarre. But it's not like, well, glad she's clothed. Yeah. Or thank God she had those pasties on because otherwise it had been uncomfortable. Right. You know what I mean? It did make it a little, it's like my clothes are off.

Yeah. It was weird. Definitely a weird thing. Yeah. I don't know. It's an interesting, it's an interesting thing to explore for women that men don't have to deal with. to deal with, right? But nobody wants to see a dude's penis on the...

No, it's not... Yeah. I mean, I mean... There's demographics for it, but... I mean, maybe. But they're not... It's not the same, yeah. I mean, it's hard for women in this business, not even just in that sort of realm or topic.

Yeah. It's just hard. Yeah. For women. I mean, our industry is incredibly brutal to begin with. Yeah, for sure. Being a woman in it makes it... I think just 10 times more, I don't know if I'm sure all of these other factors that I'm probably not even thinking about, you know, but other than it feels like, oh, man, it's tough already.

But God, it's so much tougher for a woman. I think that's true. A hundred percent. Yeah. Even talking about it now, I'm like, how many people are going to be like, you are so, like, wanting to take off your pasties? You know what I mean? But nobody's going to do that. Or someone's going to be like, why didn't she show her out?

ass on the rolling Yeah. Or then there's going to be the ones that are like, good for you. It's like there's a voice for everything. You can't. You know what I mean? Everybody's different.

You can't. And that's the thing, I will say, like, even when you came in red for the play, I remember we were casting it. It was me and Max, and we're like, we're going to produce a play. Can we say Max? Turned out Scoot produced the play.

But I remember we read all these guys and they were all supposed to be jocks and all of this. And then Scoot comes in so freaking uniquely Scoot and takes it. Definitely not a jock. Not a jock at all. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm going to interrupt.

But like your take on it was so much stronger than anyone that came in and tried to be a jock. Well, the first pilot I ever did. They hired me as like a jock. or a hunk. And I was like, I got a pilot. Like, I've been trying to get a TV show. I don't know. It must have been 25 or something like that. Yeah. I did the pilot. You know, again, they asked me to show my ass. Yeah, they were like, we weren't you get out of bed and show your ass? And I was like, huh? Like, hold on. Did you? No. I was like, no. So the next, the pilot got picked up, but I didn't get picked. I got fired. And they're like, we're not going

with you. And it was either because I wouldn't show my ass or it was because they were like, this guy's not a hunk. That's what it was hunk. They were like, oh my God, this guy, now that we got them on sand, we have him here, not a hunk, not a jock. We need to get somebody else. It won't show his ass. Oh my God. And I got replaced. And I was like so, you know, I was bummed. Or not bum, confused. I was like, huh? And then, you know, a little time goes by. And I was like, I was like, I'm not a jock, you know what I mean? So whatever you've got to tell yourself, you know. I'm not a jock.

That's what I tell myself every day. I'm just like, whatever happens, I'm not a jock. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Not a jock. Not a jock, but I... That play was... Great.

I have so many great memories from that play. You always talk about it. And I feel so bad because you gave me a poster and I promised to, like, give it back and I never found it. The photograph. Yeah, what the... Yeah, we made the poster out of.

It didn't matter. I wanted the playbill from it, and I got that. Oh, you got it? I still have it. Oh, that's made. You do? You don't have that? No.

I got that photograph from like the person I was living at behind the magic castle. The neighbor had it, and they just shot Canal Street, and I got the photograph, and then I think I made it a painting of the photograph, and then we used the photograph to make the copy of the play bill. The play bill. Can you remember your apartment over? Did it wasn't your dog? Woody?

You had a dog. Woodley? No, Woodley. Woodley. I remember Woodley. I remember Woodley. Well, they did 16 years. Oh, Woodley.

Great dog. Carried me through some crazy times in my life. Isn't it crazy that we were so young, like when we were all hanging out and all that we were doing in that fucking condo and going out and like. So crazy. It's so crazy. When I tell Societia. I'm like, oh, we used to do this and da-da-da, this and that.

She's always like, golly, like, y'all lives, like, such an insane life. And I'm like, not really, you know what I mean? But when you talk about it, we did. You know, it was crazy the amount of bars and clubs. But we feel like we did it, right? Like, we did it. We done did it. We did it so well that we're okay with not doing it at all.

Ever at all. But, God, my 20s. Our 20s in Hollywood, right when the Kodak Theater had just getting finished, and they had redone, and all the bars and restaurants were coming up. Yep. And, man, we had some great, crazy times. Great. It was like star shoes and...

Oh, my God. Star shoes, spider club. Oh, my God. La don't. Laud. It was La-do, but I always called it laudette. Laudette. We all did.

Yeah, we're like laudont. And we'd say no siffs to Joseph's. No sips to Josephs. And also when the club or the bar would close, we'd all go to somebody's house from two to five in the morning, six in the morning. And that was like routine. So fun. Every Wednesday and Thursday night, we didn't really, Friday nights, I think we just went to people's houses or parties. We didn't really go out to the bars and clubs.

Right. I remember you'd always build the fire too. Of course. Yeah. My whole life. I've always had a woodburning fireplace. Yeah. Have to.

I have to. I remember we'd always be like, we'll just wait until Scoot gets here. Oh, yes, because whenever I'd come over here's place, I'd be like, all right, let's start a fire. I'd show up with logs. Yeah. Yeah, you need one of those. We'd be like Scoot's come in with logs.

Yeah. Whether we asked him to or not. Yeah. Sozi's dad says, Scoot's such a pyro. He came down to the farm in Texas and I, like, stack wood from like whatever there's trees and falling in branches and I stack them off for the year. I mean, all year long. And then every year, like, around Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year's,

I'll light them and, like, they're massive piles, like the size of a small school bus or something. We just have these really amazing barbedires. And the time that he came down there, I think we had two or three of them going at once. And he was just like, oh, my God, this is dangerous. That's so funny. Those things have stuck this whole time.

I love. You've been burning things since day one. Since Indian guys, like, sticking the stick in there. And I was like, hey, keep the sticks in the fire. And I was like, all right. You know what I mean? I just loved. I love burning stuff.

My daughter's like that. I let her have a little area where she can light candles and burn things in the back. Oh, I love that. I'm like, all right. I know, I know how much you want to burn things. So here's, you can burn things, but you got to burn them here. Yeah. Because she was lighting candles in her room.

I was like, do you're going to burn down this house. Go outside. There's a piece of concrete here. You can burn whenever you want right here. It's so interesting. She seems like she takes after you a lot. a lot. Yeah.

She actually reminds me of my brother. My little brother's, oh, spitting image of my little brother, Uncle Ryan. Aw. She's so much like him.

Like, with her spells and her making tea and like her mannerisms, like, you know what I mean? I look,

in the older, she gets them more and more. I'm like, you are just like my little brother. That's really cute. That's so cute.

She was so cute. We ran into you guys at a farmer's market. And she was like, Dad, that's like the fifth person you've known here. You were like the mayor of the farmer's market. Can we talk about what it's like to run into Scoot? We went into each other the other day at the restaurant. Yeah, eating breakfast or whatever.

But let's talk about what it's like. Please. You tell us. You tell it better. Makes you feel young again. No, no, it's not that. Like I ran into it SkyZone, like a game. kids bouncy housing. And so when I see you, there's no like, oh, hey, what are you doing here?

It's like, oh, here you are. I knew you'd be right here right now at this moment. It's like as if we planned. I feel the same way. Yeah. Because like when you left the restaurant the other day, the kid just just, the people I was meeting with the time assume that we see each other weekly. You know what I mean? I ran into you three times the last three years, you know what I mean? And they're like, oh, like you, you know, and I'm like, yeah, I haven't seen her. He's like, oh, you haven't seen her in a while. Like, I'm like, no. Yes. That's exactly it. And it's kind of like, oh, hey, how's it going, and it's something like we catch up. It's just kind of like, so where's, where's the, how do we get Coca-Cola's and pizza? You know what I mean? We just get into the middy grid. We don't even ask how

each other's been. No. But that's the best kind of relationships because based on like, I don't know. It's a familiarity. Yeah. You don't need to do the whole thing. We hung out so much in our 20s. Especially, yeah, the age you were, everything else.

You know, I probably see y'all more than I see my sister. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. But I told Rachel, I was like, yeah, it's like we said meet at the third table. Yeah. She's like, yeah, I ran into him and it was like, oh.

Yeah, meet at this booth at the farmer's market. There he is again. Oh, he's here. I just don't say, no. If he sees us, we'll say something if he doesn't. Just let him go. No, it's just like if we planned it, you know? It's the best.

It's the best feeling ever. Yeah, I remember Jeff being like, did you know Scoot was going to be here? And I'm like, no. He's like, why are you so casual about it? Well, it felt like you all knew. But y'all had texted before. Hey, are you getting birthday parties today at SkyZone? Yeah.

Yeah, I do. All right. I'll be there at two. and try and be there around that. That's so funny. But Jeff appreciates that. He's like, I really like that. Because he doesn't want to do.

Oh, he doesn't want to do any of the... He doesn't want to do any of the fucking formality. Formalities or pleasant treat. He doesn't want to do it. He hates it. Hate. Yeah. So he's like, that light really like that.

Yeah, it's like, really? I fucking think I'm doing. I'm struggling like everybody else in this world. You know? Where are the cookies is a better question. Yeah. Where are the cookies? where did you get that food?

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Let's get to the shit that matters. A hundred percent. Oh my God. It's so good. Oh.

Well, I'm really impressed that you guys have this whole podcast thing with the cameras and the thing and the lights and the lights and the lights. Yeah, it looks super professional. Look at that board over there. And the fact that I work at all. Now, that's, to be honest with you. It's scary. When Olivia was like, like, It's scary.

I know. Rachel's just got to set it up. I was like, wait, Rachel's setting it up? You're not setting it up, you know? And you're digging back in the back, going through the camera. I was like, oh, wow. All right. She's really on top of it.

Send up the cameras and test one, two, three. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, we got to, let me troubleshoot this. What? Rachel's troubleshooting? I'm like, let's hope that they're recording. Did we record? Yeah, I checked in the middle because sometimes focus is a little soft.

Sometimes the work. It's not recording the audio. It'd be good if I'm a little out of focus. We're just blurry the whole time. Fuck, you know. It's very, there's a lot of pressure. No, it's great. This is perfect.

We are so happy you came. I know. I'm so happy. I came too. I'm so happy that we did this and, you know, since moving back to California, to me it feels the same like running into you guys. Yeah. There's a certain sense of like hominess.

Yeah, it's, yeah. Like it feels like, okay. Like, it's just awesome to run into people that you knew so well from your past. Yeah, I know. And hang out. And, you know, we all got kids now. Yeah. We're all grown up.

All grown up and all the same. Not really. You know. Yeah, we're still the same. We need to get all the kids together. We should. You know. Ryers 10.

Yeah. Briar's 10. I mean, you know, there is. Henry will come over. He will not. He doesn't have a filter on them. Great. Love it.

Oh, geez, dad. It's the backyard. Why don't we live in this house? Why don't we have a house like this? He's hilarious. He'll fall in perfectly with Elliot and Shepard. Oh, yeah. We should have nine and five and nine.

Let's definitely try and... Let's do it. And we obviously love Socee. She is, oh my gosh. She's awesome. Isn't she amazing? God, what a blessing. Wow.

Yeah, I'm just so grateful and thankful to have her in my life and to have met her. You guys are the cutest. I gave her this candle that like sort of sums up. I'm like, I hope this. smells better than the shit that I put you through. You know what I mean? She keeps it in the kitchen, you know what I mean? She's just amazing.

It's so lucky. It's very cool. When we first met her, it's like she just makes perfect sense for you. Yeah. Just like, yeah. If I could have drawn and written the person. Like the perfect partner. There she is. There you go.

It's just so, she's so funny and so, like, entertaining on a daily basis. It's like the some of the things she does and says and she's, Super smart, but like just some of the stuff, it's just like, oh, you're just a constant entertainment. Yeah. But that's how it should be, right? Totally. Yeah. There's never a dull moment.

That's awesome. We love it. Yeah. She's just really funny. She's so funny. That's so cute. Well, that's awesome. Last question before we wrap it up.

Yeah. Why is there a barbell over there in the corner? Are you working on your... I'm going to explain it. First of all, she is lifting weights. You are? Mm-hmm. That's not the barbell.

Got it. Got it. That's a heavy barbell. That's what a... I bring it everywhere I go. Oh. It was weighing down the basketball hoop, you know, in the driveway. And one day we needed a fourth mic, and we made...

See how this connection happens. Totally. It already makes sense. And we needed to wait. We needed to rig it and we had to rig it and we needed a weight to hold it down. So that's why the barbell is still in here. Oh, the microphone to keep it. it from tipping it over. Okay. Yeah, not as interesting as story.

Oh, I buy it. I buy it. It's good. It's good. But I don't know how, I don't know why I had those barbells in the first place to even hold the basketball hoop. There's the even bigger question there. Yeah. Did you make those cookies? No. Oh. They're great. Yeah, they. Whoever made them. They're very good holiday cookies that a friend of mom. Oh, someone made them. They're homemade. Yes. They are homemade. Okay. Yes. Well, okay, let me just back up there a little bit. they are homemade but this one right here is the standard cookie that comes from Trader Joe's and the thing that has the icing on top I can tell oh really?

Yeah these are all handmade these all made but the one you picked was this one right here oh it's a mix one of the moms stuck one in here they didn't have time to bake and it was like when they brought them to the school and they did all this yes one of the moms like oh I don't have time and so they just stuck in the ones from Trader Joe's or Ralph's I don't remember but we get them all the time I feel like Ralph's. I heard of this cookie thing and I was like, that would be fun. You know what we should do? We should do it next year.

Gingerbread. No. What you do is everybody bakes cookies. Yeah. Right? Have you heard of this? So let's say for our holiday party next year, everybody makes cookies. For the white Christmas holiday party?

For the white Christmas. And you bring the cookies to the party and then there's a bunch of tins and everybody takes some of the cookies and gives some away as their holiday gets. I love that. Isn't that cute? Mine would be the ones who's like, I think a scoot got his from Trader Joe's. We know exactly where. I'm quite sure that these are the ones from Trader Joe. But we want to mix in a, you know, DNA kit.

I mean, so good. It's so good. I'm terrified to do that DNA stuff. Oh, you haven't done it. No. I haven't either. What are you scared of? I don't need to do it.

Them owning your DNA stuff. Just like. Your DNA? I don't know. I'm just like, I like the idea that, like, I've been told we're from Scottish and Irish descent. Yeah. I buy that and believe that, and I'm good with that. I buy it. I think you are. Yeah. And if someone was like, well, you have a little bit of, I don't know. Something else. Yeah, it would leave me to be like, well, wait, hold on. Like, da-da-da-da. So I'm just, I'm happy with believing whatever I've been told.

I feel you. I feel the same. I don't think it really changed. And you haven't done it either. No. I've been told I was black Irish my whole life and not so much black. And you did it? I did it. I'm mostly Irish. But there's not the black Irish like I've been told my whole life.

Got it. Who told you that? Your mom? My mom. She's like, I'm 100% black Irish. Oh, so she's like so. I'm 100% black Irish. And she's like, that's where you get your olive skin and your dark features because you're Irish.

So it made sense. When Henry did his thing for school of like, where you're from and like your thing? Yeah. This was New York. Oh. But I was like, we've never lived in New York. None of us are from New York. And New York isn't like a place you descend from.

You know what I mean? It's like just a city that you went to and liked. You know what I mean? Everyone else was like, you know, whenever Thailand or like, you know, Italy. Yeah. This place in Italy. It was New York. That's amazing.

That's pretty good Oh my God We love you scoot Thank you for you Awesome I love you guys Thank you so much This is awesome

This is really great This is really great So How'd you feel about Scoot going in your closet It felt so comforting If I'm being honest To explain

It was just like Of course Scoot's gonna go in my closet You know Yeah And get my things Not for a second The house was a fucking mess

When you got here not for a second was like oh my god never because it's like family yeah scoot is one of the best people on this planet he's the shit he's the shit we love him love love he's so funny

he's really funny he's like we love funny did you take down this wall yeah I know he really just gets into it yeah he um oh I was saying he's funny we love funny Yeah. We really love funny.

I mean, might even be like number one for us. How do you feel about it in all areas? Is it just in relationships, friendships? No. All areas. So they have to be funny. So even like your kids teacher? Well, I'm not going to have like a relationship with the teacher, like a close relationship.

I mean, you could. I haven't as of yet. I've liked all. of her teachers so much. Her second grade teacher was Breyer and I, both of our favorite. But do you want your accountant to be funny? I mean, he could be funny. Yeah.

It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. Like, I really think, because, like, I've done a list before, you know, like, things you look for in a person. Yeah. Usually it's romantically when you write a list like that. And I think funny is always number one. What are some other things that are on your list? What's on your list?

What are negotiables and what are non-negotiables? Ooh. See, I haven't done that like later in life. You haven't? I don't think so. We should do a list. We should do a list. Yeah.

Funny, supportive. Not, I mean, no, not financially. Like, no, like, yes, hold my vagina. Wait, What? Rachel. Okay, I'm sorry, I know. Keep going.

Okay. Funny, supportive. Like, in anything you want to do, like, they're super cheerleader, supportive. Okay. In that way. Get it? I totally get it. Okay.

Supportive. Funny. Mm-hmm. I do like, I don't know if it's on a, like, I don't know if it's a requirement. But I do like romantic, like, randomly, like, not random. But I do like, like, flowers, like unexpected is a nice thing. You're allowed to like romantic. But I don't like overly.

You don't want to be love bombed, but a little bit of romance is okay. That's nice. Yes, I do like those things. Okay, so. Like thoughtfulness. I love thoughtfulness and consideration. This is great. This is great.

So you like someone that's supportive, funny, thoughtful, and romantic. Yes. but also well someone that can make fun of me very important but like also has like a backbone where I can't get away with shit okay so you want

yeah you want someone that has personal integrity yeah you just interpret my things for me I'm like so what you're saying is yes what else here's something I squabble with

if you will do you put looks on there I don't think I have put looks on there. I do like a good looking guy is always a plus, but doesn't have to be if like everything, this is the thing. On paper, you could first look at someone and be like, that's not conventionally good looking, but then like you talk to someone for a while or whatever and you're like, oh, you're really good looking. So you can't say just like good looking. I feel like that is either like, you know, it's all relative. Right, but if you're making your ideal list,

Does he have to be good looking? Not does he have to be Would you want him to be? It's your list And then we're going to see What's negotiable and what's not You love this right now It's so fucking fun

This is my love language I know I think my love language Like not mine But like what I do Like not for me For me No I think like

I love giving gifts so much. I know. It brings me such joy. So you want someone that likes to receive gifts? Yeah. Sure. Okay. I'm not letting you get out of this alive. This is annoying. I know. It's so fun. What were we on? So far we have funny, supportive, thoughtful, romantic, and, oh, and has a backbone. Yeah. I want to know your list even though you're married. So on my original list was funny, honest, trustworthy. Those are good. I should have those. Yeah, those are good.

Yeah. Those are really good. Funny, honest, trustworthy, spiritual was on there for me, someone that has like a bigger faith in something. kind, has good style, sober. I had all those things on my list, and I remember I was like, oh, some of those aren't there. Give some of those up. Like I didn't really dig Jeff's style. He wasn't sober when I met him.

And interestingly enough, he's changed now into some of the things that were on my list. That's so cool. Yeah. So now he is sober. And now I don't mind his style because he's gotten, he's like found more of like who he is. He's not like styley like I thought I wanted. Right. But now I don't even really care about that.

Yeah. How do you feel about a guy with style? There's so many different versions of style. Right. But what is, like would that be on, I didn't hear that on your list? Like that was on my list. I really liked it. It's not, I like it.

It's attractive to me. I don't know if it's on my list, but it's definitely something I'm attracted to. So it's like, I feel like there's like a middle list. Well, those are your negotiables. Right. Where it's like, okay, well, I can, I can work with that because I can actually help him pick out his clothes. But you can't make him honest. Right.

Right. Honest is very important. Like loyal is very important. Loyal, honest. Yeah, you want to feel safe, you know. Yeah. I get that confused, though, because I've been in situations where I feel super safe and they were the most unsafe. Because that's the old programming.

Because comfort zone, whether it's good or bad, feels safe. So it could be an incredibly unsafe situation. But if your nervous system is wired to be familiar with it, it'll go, okay, we're safe here. We don't need to move. This is familiar. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm.

So sometimes I think actual honesty cannot feel safe. Right. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. I felt that so hard.

Yeah. You don't like it. Honesty didn't feel safe to me forever. Mm-hmm. I was like, yeah. Yeah. I'm still working on that. It's a hard one.

Communicative. I think that's a really great. good one. It's important as shit. But even if a man had all those fucking amazing qualities, like supportive, communicative, honest,

amazing, blah-b-de-blop-de-blah, and he's not funny, it's not going to work. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. You have to have some sort of wit. You need to get it.

You need to get it. Because life is hard. Yeah. Sometimes my jokes can come across mean. That's why I love you. But I've had guys be like, why are you so mean? Like your jokes are mean. And then I've had guys fucking die.

Yeah. Like laughing. And I'm like, you get it. The guy who thinks it's mean isn't funny. Accurate. Yeah. I like that cutting kind of sarcasm. And if you don't, I get that.

That's a preference. My dad was really sarcastic. And my mom used to say that sarcasm is the last attempted and exhausted intellect. And I was like, woo. Mm-hmm. But growing up with that, if someone wasn't that way, I was like, yeah. Yeah, I'm the same. Yeah.

And I wonder where it comes from. Like my pop-pop was very funny. Like always making jokes, you know? My brother's funny. Very funny. Very funny. Do you find your dad funny? Yeah, he like gets the funny because my sisters are really funny and it's definitely from my dad's side.

Not to say that Heather isn't funny, but I think like that gene of like the type of humor they have is the same as mine. So it's from that side. You know what I mean? Do you think your mom's funny? Yes. My mom's I love Lucy funny. Yeah. You know?

I find my mom hilarious. Yes. She's fucking funny. She's fucking funny. My brother's funny. Your brother is funny. Both of us have funny older brothers that tortured us. Yeah.

Yeah. Same. So where do you think you got it? Being funny. Yeah. I feel like I'm witty funny. Okay. You're supposed to say, yeah, you are.

Okay. How does that feel? I don't know where it comes from, but I know my family is funny. Okay. You know your family's funny. I think they're funny. But, you know, does everybody think their family's funny? No.

No. Not everybody's family's funny. We know that, but do they know that? I don't know. It's interesting. We should take a poll. We should. Leah's family's funny. Yeah. Do you think Rob thinks his family's funny? No.

Should we ask him? Do you think he'd answer if I called him right now? Let's see. Let's see. Okay. I bet you he can't answer. Rob thinks he's funny. Rob is a weasel wamp. What do I have my headset on?

I don't know. Hello? Oh, you answered. I sure did. Why wouldn't I answer? You're on live. You're on live. Rob, do you think your family's funny? Um, in what sense?

Ha-ha. Like, ha-ha funny. Do you think they're funny? As a collective or individuals? I mean, do you think anyone... No, not your family, like your childhood, like your family, not your family now, like your family growing up. No. I knew he was going to say that.

Yep, Olivia said you would say that. Yeah, they're not funny. Okay. That's funny. That was funny. Yeah. But your family now, Cal is funny. Yeah, it's funny. We need some funny stuff. Family can be funny.

Much more laughter in humor. I don't know if I was a child. Aw. Okay. We appreciate you. We miss you over here. Thanks for popping in. No problem. Okay. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye.

You know who's funny? What? Elliot's very funny. He gets the beat. He gets the beat. It's so wild. I know. He really does. Since he was a baby, I feel like he got it. He would laugh at things and I'm like, how do you know that's funny?

He just knew. I agree. Shepard is fucking hilarious. Shepard is funny. What the, what did he say? What the hell is she doing, man? Well, tell them why, he said, what? He said, what the hell is she doing, man?

There was an explicit photo of myself on Olivia's phone. That's all I'll say. What was in? No. Well, well, no. No. He did ask if it was me first. Yeah, that's just amazing.

He said, is that you? I said, no. That's Ray Ray. I was playing a joke and dressed up in a funny costume, but it was like kind of explicit. Yeah. And accidentally opened it in front of Shepard. And he goes, what the hell is she doing, man? It's so good.

It's so good. So good. Scoot is funny. So funny. So funny. Johnny's funny. Johnny is funny. Johnny Lou Jack is really funny.

Really funny. Yeah. I can think of people who are not funny. But we can't say that. No. Because that's mean-spirited. It's mean. And we're not mean-spirited in that way.

What way, aren't we? With our jokes sometimes. That's not mean-spirited. Not mean-spirited. You're not mean-spirited. It's just people who can't take a joke. That's silly. Silly.

Silly-gooses. Did I tell you about that? What? Elliot was saying, I was like, he was having some issues with some dynamics at school. And I said, just go hang out with other people. Like, you have plenty of other friends. Just go hang out with them. And he goes, sometimes when I do that, I just feel like a silly goose. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, that's the only way I can put it. I just feel like such a silly goose. Like a cringe, silly goose. And I was like, oh my God, I get that. feeling so much. Yeah. Do you ever feel like a cringe, silly goose? Every day. I saw somebody say, and I know this is after Christmas, but instead of elf on the shelf, it's, is it silly goose on the loose? And it's like a goose that you just plop around the house. No, it's funny. That's Elliot. He's a silly goose on the loose. Silly goose on the loose. Okay, did we finish our lists?

Okay, so what are the non-negotiables and what are the negotiables? I don't know. Funny is kind of non-negotiable. I understand. They need to be funny or laugh at my funny. And they need to be... What? Honest.

Yeah. Yeah. Trustworthy. Trustworthy is important. Honest. Yeah. And incredibly good-looking. Ridiculously good-looking.

No, but I do like shoes. It's a problem. Yeah. like a manly boot is really good you know yes yeah i used to be so in to guys with style that it was almost weird yeah it was like why like what was that i know and certain like it has to be the certain type of sneaker you know what do you think that is because is it is it something that it's Like you feel like they know something? Like why?

Who cares? It is like a confidence thing and we liked confidence, confident dudes growing up? But if a guy walked in confident as fuck in the wrong shoes, it wouldn't have worked in those days, like in my younger days. It wouldn't matter how confident he was. We died for a thermal under a t-shirt. The best. Died. Died.

Dead. Dead in the water. there was this one time my friend Samantha you know she came home like we were all like these girls and we were hanging out and she was like oh my god I just saw the finest guy like he was so hot he was like wearing a thermal with a t-shirt and like cute and we were like oh my god where'd you see him and she's like across the street from my old house like I don't know if he lives there or whatever me and my friend Jenna then

did not tell Samantha we made signs for a lost dog and went and knocked on doors and said that our dog was lost and we found him and we knocked on the door and he opened with his thermal shirt and we were like

we're looking for our dog lucky and he was like I didn't see your dog but like let me get your number Oh yeah, we became really good friends with him. What? Yes. Who? His name was Ryan.

Huh. Yeah. Who hooked up with him? Maybe everyone. It was like him and his brothers. It was like this whole like pack of guys. And we were just like, Samyathe got so mad when she found out we did that. Because she wasn't part of.

We did it behind her back. I know. But like she didn't hang out with him. I think she ended up hanging out with him and hooking up with him. Okay. So you did her a favor. Yeah. She was so pissed.

You made lost dog signs. And we said our dog's name was lucky. Yeah. That's Olivia, folks. Hey. It worked. Listen, that's just a tribute, like, to you go after what you want in life. Yeah.

If you don't know how to get it, you knock on doors. You make it happen. You make it happen. Mm-hmm. It's like what Mack said about Scoot that he was. would call him pretend he was his own agent. Yep. You got to make things happen. Yeah. All right, on that note. See ya. See ya. That was a hate gum podcast.