Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Special 100th Episode

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

To celebrate 100 episodes of Broad Ideas, Rachel, Rob and Olivia take calls from fans of the show who are asking for relationship advice, and play a game to test Rachel’s memory.Broad Ideas is supported by Talkspace. Get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/IDEAS and enter promo code SPACE80.Broad Ideas is supported by IQBAR. Get 20% off all IQBAR products. Text IDEAS to 64000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.Broad Ideas is supported by OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code IDEAS at oneskin.co.Broad Ideas is supported by Posh Peanut. Go to PoshPeanut.com/BROAD, and use promo code BROAD for 20% off your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes when the way inside of Rachel's little brain,

all these thoughts are swirling round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys that are... Because people die. Welcome to the 100th episode of Broad Ideas. That's fucking crazy.

Air 5. Yeah. Did you ever think when we were zooming and you were using that shitty laptop? Oh, yeah, the shit laptop. That an export from bought you. Yeah. That we'd be making 100 episodes of a podcast together? Never.

I'm sure you didn't either. He did. Vision. Rob got on Zoom with me when I did armchair. No. Was it Ana first? No, it was Armchair? And then Anna.

We met on armchair, I believe. And then you helped me with Annas too. You're like, oh, I better get on. This girl on that computer need my help. And then Rob was like, oh, she talks shit about a lot of people. people. Maybe she'll do a podcast. And she immediately stopped. I don't talk shit about people.

She doesn't actually. I don't. I don't talk shit about people. Just when you're nervous on other podcasts? No. Yes. Just when I'm asked about certain stories or people that I have come across. Let's hear one now.

Okay. So, back in the day. All right. So we're going to try something new for 100. We are trying something different. Yeah. Part of our posts is that we take advice from the Internet and try to answer it. But we get a lot of questions.

We do. We get a lot of questions from listeners. Yes. And we're going to try to call a couple. So people can send in their questions. And please do, if you send in your questions, put in a number. Put in your contact. You back a time and see if you're available and call you.

Hi, Willa. Can you say that again? How to co-parent? Yeah, like with someone that you just split from and you share a child with. Were you married? Was the split? Amicable? I don't know.

So no. Okay. Like, how do you deal with a breakup when you have to see the person? Oh, got it. And you have to, like, like, how do you grieve and move on when you have to, like, continuously like work with this person. That's really hard. It definitely prolongs the moving on process.

Honestly, I think the most important thing would be to set a long-term goal. Right? So if you set a long-term goal that you know every time you're seeing this person and every time you're encountering them, you're doing it for a purpose to get somewhere. So if the long-term goal is I want a cohesive relationship with my ex so that my child feels loved and supported in both homes, then you have that as kind of like an anchor to go back to in your healing process. Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

How do you start dating after that? What do you guys think about Raya? Oh, that's a good question. I think you should do it. I think that just getting out there, no matter what it is and taking that step, is a perfect action, no matter what comes of it. Like, not saying you're looking for something serious or maybe you are, but I think just like making the move and taking the steps to move forward is the best thing you can do for yourself. Yeah, and individualize. That's what I hear in that.

is that like whatever those forward moving steps are that are going to separate you from the relationship and create more of a foundation of you being an individual and an individual parent. So if that means dating, if that means spending time with friends, also it's perfectly okay to protect your energy with boundaries. Like if it's too hard for you to see the person, you're allowed to create loving, supporting boundaries as far as time, minimizing the time you have to see this person. Yeah, or if you can have somebody like maybe a family member or whatever help facilitate the transition from mom's house to dad's house.

Until you've healed. Yeah. That's really good advice. Rob? Well, I think it's important. I know you're going to be concerned with your kid and making sure that they're taking care of and feel comfortable. But I think your own mental health and how you're feeling is just as important to your relationship with your kid as the space that you're creating with the ex-partner. That's really good advice.

Yeah. Yeah, that was so helpful. Thank you so much. Well, good luck. And know that it gets easier. And just remember to set those long-term goals of, I am working towards a cohesive relationship in the future. And don't hold yourself to that today and allow grace to kind of slip in and not of that. Yeah, but also don't forget the boundaries because those are important, too.

Thank you. Yeah, I think I've gotten really good at the boundaries. Good. I'm in a good place with it. It's just a constant navigation. Yeah. You know, and dating as a single mom is a whole interesting thing. For sure.

But just, you know, just remember whatever's best for you is best for your kid and keep up with the boundaries and doing things for yourself. And like Olivia said, it does get easier. Thank you so much. Thanks, Willa. Yeah, and write us, DM us and let us know how your first date out there goes. Okay. I've already had a few. Oh, good.

All right, check out Raya. We look forward to hearing from you again. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. That was a real one. Broad Ideas is supported by Talkspace. Do you think seeing a therapist or psychiatrist would be helpful,

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Get your discount, text ideas to 64,000. That's IDEAS to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. All right, we've got another caller. Another caller. Another broadians member. Hi, Rachel and Olivia.

I'm a huge fan of broad ideas. And I had a question about social media for you guys. And your thoughts about your significant other liking other women's photos on social media. That's a good question. Good question. What kind of photos are they? Photos that seem like the girl is posting to attention. Thirstraps?

Thirstraps. Thirstraps. Are they like scantily dressed? Are they sexy time pictures? I would say sexy time pictures. Are they people that they know? Or are these just like internet personalities? Good question.

I feel like, like just in general, like even if they're liking a photo that seems like it's scandalous in there for attention. Have you ever brought this up to your partner? No, I haven't. But also, it hasn't really been, it's like, if you. If you're on Instagram, say your Instagram stalking them and you're noticing all these things, like how would you bring that up too? Yeah. Right. Yeah, it seems a little overbearing potentially.

Rachel, how would you deal with this? Gosh, you know, like my first thing I want to be like, you know what? It's Instagram. It doesn't matter. You don't really know. But then when I think about it, like it wouldn't make me feel good if I saw like my boyfriend was just liking all of this. these, like, you know, very provocative pictures of other women. But then I would have to think he's going to have to know people see that or, like,

I might see that. So maybe it really doesn't mean anything because they're just like... Some people aren't that smart. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, some people also just mindlessly scroll and just click like if it fancies them in the second. Yeah, people like in different ways. I'm very precious with my likes.

Yeah, you never like any of my eyes. You don't like anything. I know, exactly. So if you saw, like, Charlotte posting photos and I was liking those. You'd be like, that's shady. Yeah, that wouldn't, that'd be alarming. I think it, here's, for me, it depends on, one, how serious your relationship is, how long you've been together. You know, if it's new, I wouldn't probably bring it up because it probably pre-existed you.

So they were probably doing that before you came on to the scene. You know what I think is more. kind of like what would bother me more maybe. It's like not so much liking the photos, but if you're seeing they just constantly and are still in real time while you're dating them, following all of these accounts that are like maybe just very attractive women

and you know it's not like a friend or whatever, but they just keep following these kinds. I feel like that might be a red flag. Yeah. Well, but it depends on how like actively they unfollow people. What? What? They get into a relationship.

They're going to go through all their follows and on follow. No, no, I'm not saying the ones that are there. I'm saying while you're dating. She's saying collecting new ones. Collecting new ones. Yeah, yeah. I think collecting new ones is weird. That's what I'm saying.

To me is weirder. To me it's weirder if it's someone you guys all know. And like you're liking Leah's at the beach and I'm kind of like those photos. Yeah, but I don't know. This is confusing for me because let's say, because it's, The problem is that the world can see it, right? So back in the day, when we were younger, our boyfriends probably looked at like sexy magazines

or watched sexy videos, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's completely natural. It's normal for men to want to look at women being sexualized. I don't actually see anything wrong with that at all. The difference is that you're just seeing it. in front of your face instead of them doing it behind your back. So like it's almost kind of comforting because if it was weird and shady, they wouldn't be

doing that. You know, it's almost like, yeah, I liked it. It's a girl in a bikini. What's not to like? It's kind of just simple, in my opinion. Yeah. Yeah. But I'll give you an example.

My husband follows nobody. Oh, yeah. Okay. Nobody. Except. Except. Emrada. Okay?

And I asked him, why do you follow her? And I think he said it's because I don't know who she is. And then he said, let me see. And he looked at her and he said, I'm guessing because of her boobs. And you know what I felt? I get it. I look at her and I'm like, he was honest. He was honest.

She's a work of art. Like she's absolutely beautiful. Like, I don't blame him for being like, I like that. Yeah. Part of it just what it seems secretive, then it's weird. Like, if you can front it and can have fun with it, I think that maybe will change the relationship with it. And maybe he'll be a little more self-conscious of not going crazy.

But if they handle it, like, defensive, then... That must have been accidental. I don't know what you're talking about. That would be way more, like, shaping. Yeah. I would find the humor in it. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, oh, you love thirst traps. You're into, you like sexy girls. That's a compliment to me. I knew it. Yeah. Yeah. Here's another question with that. What if they're posting themselves, but just like, say they started working now

and just want to post themselves. But how would you feel about it, like, coming from their end? Yeah, I hear that. Rachel? I don't know. Right. You're like, what's the motivation behind that? What is it that you want to feel?

I could see someone, like, being proud of, like, working out and feeling like they look good and posting it. Like, I don't think that would get to me. You've also dated actors, and most of them are going to be posting pictures of themselves. Yeah. Yeah. No, truly. I actually don't see anything wrong with that either. They probably just feel good.

Their muscles are on flex. They want a little love. You know? It maybe just means you need to show them some affection, maybe. Give them the attention if it feels like they're not getting it and they're going elsewhere for it. You maybe evaluate that. That's a good. Rob.

Coming with it. Okay, Rob. It is good. Maybe they need a little attention. Maybe they need to hear, I notice your muscles are getting bigger or like, you look good. And maybe feeding them in that way, they won't feel so hungry for it. Yeah. And also, though, if a girl's in a relationship and she feels hot in a certain outfit or sexy,

if a guy's not to like that, we're like, ew, no, that's controlling. Like, your body, your choice. But then if a guy does it, is it reverse? Are you, you know what I'm saying? Like, do they have the same freedom to feel good in their body and put it out there? Well, yeah. I think everyone has the freedom, too. I think the question is, like, how vain is that person then if they're constantly doing that?

And then that turns into more of, like, a character assessment. Okay. I want to talk about that. Okay, because something just happened. I don't necessarily think, and if you look behind the curtain, from most people putting sexy pictures, putting these things. My brother is now a personal trainer, right? So he posted a picture of him without a shirt with his muscles buffed up.

It took everything in him to post that picture. He did not want to post that picture. Everybody's telling him he needs to post those pictures. My fucking mom commented on the picture. picture, you're so vain. Well, okay, I'm not saying everyone. Wait, but like, was it a pun? No.

She was singing the lyric? No, she thought that he was like, oh, I look good. And it's like, you never really know what's... That really hurt his feeling. You just never know what's going on behind the curtain. And it's like people may have to work up a lot of courage to post those pictures. You know? And like, maybe your boyfriend wants to feel more comfortable and wants to step into themselves more.

And it's like, I wouldn't consider that vein. I'm not saying 100% of people posting pictures of themselves would be considered vain. I'm just saying that you may be assessing that when you're deciding if it's weird or not that they're doing it. Right. Like if their feet is all pictures of themselves and none of you guys together. That's what I was going to ask. Do they post pictures of you? Things like that.

Yeah. I was going to ask the same. Yes. Oh. Okay. All is forgiven. I do think that there comes a place where these things, the longer you're with someone,

maybe the less they land on you. Yeah, I don't think you need to break up with him yet. I don't think you break up with him. Rachel? Agreed. I think you start posting mad thirst traps. All right. Awesome.

Two can play at that game. Thank you so much. We appreciate your call. Thank you so much. Of course. Thank you so much for the advice. And DM us, the pictures. We'll post on.

Oh, I will. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Broad Ideas is supported by OneSkin. What I love about OneSkin is I noticed the difference and the improvement quicker than any product I've used. There is nothing like the feeling of being. confident in your own skin. That's why I have to tell you about today's sponsor, OneSkin.

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That's 15% off OneSkin.com with code ideas. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Support for bought ideas comes from Posh Peanut. Your kids grow fat. But that doesn't mean they have to outgrow their favorite items after only a few months. Posh Peanuts gets it, which is why they make super stretchy and colorful clothes that seem to grow with your child. So you'll never get longer wear out of these adorable styles.

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promo code broad. Go to poshpeanat.com slash broad and use promo code broad for 20% off your first order. That's poshpeanat.com slash broad. Promocode broad. We got one more. All right. Hello. Hi. What's up? Who's this? This is Ben. Hi, Ben. You're on live with broad ideas. I'm such a fan. Thanks for taking my call. Awesome. What's your question? Okay, so I've been dating this girl. She's really cute, really funny. We've gone on four dates now, and I've had to pay every single time,

and she hasn't offered. So I'm like trying to feel like taking advantage of, and I'm wondering what you guys think. We think you should keep paying. Look, I'm a big fan of offering, but I'm also a big fan of not being taken up on it. Yeah.

I mean... Didn't she offer at the very least? I mean, I have a lot more money than she does, I think. But still, it's like, the fact that she's not even offering makes me kind of feel like the same wrong reasons. Yeah.

Well, this has come up before. Yeah. Who's picking the places you guys are going to. Well, mostly I'm picking, but she picked the last time. So I was kind of like expecting her to at least offer. Yeah. But you've talked about this.

If you're expected to pay, just go somewhere cheaper and spend what you are comfortable spending when you know that you have to go and pay for both. Yeah. Or you can have a conversation. So I had a reverse kind of situation where I was dating the guy and I personally like it when a guy pays. I always offer, but I do like the feeling of being, them treating. And so I would offer, and he kept accepting every time.

And I told him it made me feel a little weird and that I would rather go to a taco stand or, like, do a picnic or do something where I wasn't paying all the time. And so I think it's- But you were paying for both of you? No, they were- We were splitting it. just didn't feel sexy to me. So what I would say is,

I don't think it's about the money in this situation. I think what you're feeling is a lack of consideration for you. And what you really need is her to recognize that you're making an effort. So I would say that. I would be like, this isn't about the money. This is about the fact that I don't really feel considered. Well,

I kind of want her to just offer without me having to ask. Yeah, but it's not happening. Do you think that's a weird... Just do like a stalemate when the check comes and just like don't. Yeah, I guess so. Do you think it's weirdly confrontational with someone on like a fifth date? I don't think it's weirdly confrontational if you find a way to talk about it that's honest, right? Because I don't think you're saying I want me to take me out.

That's like a tough... How do you bring that up? To me, that would almost come off as like a red flag early on a relationship. if they're already like bringing up something like this that's bugging them a lot. You think it's a red flag on his part? I could see her. Well, yeah, yeah, I think it's a red flag on her part. I could see her taking it as a red flag.

So it depends on how much you care about this relationship that that could end it. Here's, I have a theory that how you do one thing is how you do everything. So if this is showing up her consideration for you in this area, Is it showing up anywhere else in the relationship? I mean, it's so early still, so I can't really tell. But I guess, like, a concern I have is I feel like she's a little bit out of my league looks-wise. So I'm kind of maybe more susceptible to feeling like I'm here for the money because of that. Oh, wow.

Oh, that phrase sounds like a whole. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a red flag for you. Yeah. I just don't know if it's an insecurity on my part or if it's like actually what's happening. Here's the thing. I once had a boyfriend when we were breaking up. He told me that he didn't really feel like I put a lot of effort into thinking about the things we did together. Okay? And that really affected me and changed the way I was for the rest of the course of my relationships. was a gift to me because it made me realize, oh my God, like, this person really wants to be thought of. So what if the conversation is more like, does she think about where you guys should go? Does she think about what movie you should see or where you're going to eat or any of it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Does she? Or yeah. Yeah, I'm asking. She seems a little bit like a little bit removed. I don't know, like kind of in it, but kind of not. You know what I mean? This is sounding many red flags, Ben. I can't, do you guys all think I should, like, confront her with this, or is there, like, a more subtle way to kind of, like, test it and see if it's worth taking it closer? I mean, I guess it depends on how much of a deal breaker it is for you. I would say something in a very light, kind way. You can even give her preferences.

Okay. Like, instead of saying, like, hey, I want you to start. offering to pay, what if it's like a little invitation to be like, hey, you know what would feel really good tonight is if you, you know, planned something for us, what you want to do with me? Yeah, I like that. That's a good idea. I guess to me is that the hell you want to die on.

Because if it was you, you would be like, I like to be taken care of it. If I want you to keep pain. And if that's the case, like, do you want to break up with this person? over her not paying occasionally? Because if it's Olivia, then... No, because it's not that. Like, when it came to Jeff, I would enforce... I would force pay or pick up the check when he wasn't...

You know, like, I would let him pay for a lot of dinners, but then when we go to coffee or when we go to ice cream or I would make sure to be like, I have this. Or even dinner, I'd pick up the check before it came in ways to show him, I value what he's doing. Yeah. But look, if this keeps on going and she keeps on not paying, what's like a number of like dates? You guys think? What would you say of dates that she doesn't often pay? Seven. Seven. Seven. I was going to say six. Seven. Okay. Seven. You have four. Uh, three left.

I was kidding. I don't think there's an exact number. No, it's seven. I don't think there's an exact number you can put on this. No, because you're spending so much time, you kind of know. Like there's a few red flags. not like the one thing. So I think that, like, you'll be able to tell. Well, I would say six. I think you have to decide if there's consideration elsewhere in the relationship besides just this, because she could just be old-fashioned and likes to be paid for. Okay.

That's fair. She's showing consideration elsewhere. I don't think by the seventh date. Exactly. You have to draw that line. But, like, I would look out for those things exactly like Rob said. Like, look out, is she showing consideration another? Does she rub your fee?

Is she buying you ice? That's true. You know? Yeah. Does she bring tea to your house because she thinks you like tea? I don't know. Rachel would fucking bake you a chicken. I'd fucking bake you a what's it?

Strudel. What's it called? Fantasy cheesecake or vendetta strudel? I love struples. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Well, Ben, thank you so much for your call.

Hey, let us know how it goes. Will you write us a message and keep us. DMS. Yeah, thanks, guys. Really appreciate it. Thanks, Ben. Bye, fine. Bye.

All right, you guys, I want us all the last thing we all Googled. Oh. Yep. I mean, you want to know the truth? Mine is Los Angeles weather. Really? Mm-hmm. Mine is.

How can I see? A girl name Brecky Hill. That. is what I last Googled. Why'd you Google that? You'll never know. The last thing I googled you guys. What?

Scrapbook. Not only was I Googling scrapbook and I'll explain, but I typed it so fast, it says Scarpbook. You can make a scrapbook? Breyer's been making a scrapbook. I thought you were making us 100th episode. That would be a lot cuter. But Breyer was like, Mommy, can you show me?

Scrapbooks like the covers what they look like because she wanted to make one in the, but Scarp book. Scarp book is my last Google. What's yours? Los Angeles Weather. Oh, Los Angeles Weather. Wow, we're boring.

Check out Brecky Hill. I don't know if you'll be bored. Okay, I've got some questions for Olivia to answer. It's about Rachel. Oh. Okay, go. Things about Rachel. See how well you know, Rachel.

Okay. Maybe you guys both compete over who actually knows the answer. About myself? Yeah. What year did Rachel win the Teen Choice Award for Best TV Actress? 2008. Five. Is that right?

Rachel got one. Oh, wow. I think because I can see the surfboard with the number on it, so I have the photographic memory of it. What two other Teen Choice Awards did Rachel also win that year? Oh, God. What was the first one? Was TV actress? Best TV actress.

So that year she won two other... Best Kiss? That doesn't... Ring a bell. No, but that was a chemistry or something? Is that one of them? Best on screen TV chemistry with Adam Brody. Ah, shucks.

And haughty female. It's apparently a category as well. That wouldn't be a category today. It would not be a category. It would not be a category. I know who I won that with, though. Tell me if I'm right. Chad Michael Murray.

Oh, it doesn't say it. You won hottie female. I don't think Chad Michael Murray won hotty female. I don't think Chad Michael Murray won hotty. You're like, I know the other one. I know the other one. All right. How many acting credits does Rachel have on the MBB?

I don't know that. 57. No way. 13. No. 28. Oh, wow. I was closer. No.

She's still, she's winning. Damn, you know, you don't know. Because these are so far back. Okay, this one, you need answer first. Don't answer. Okay. How old was Rachel when she became a mom? Wait, Breyer is nine.

Well, now you just do the math. Well, I need to do the math. There's an irony with the number. 39. 39. She thinks you're almost 50. 29, no. What's the irony?

33. Damn it. 33. It's so magical. Which brand of jeans was Rachel once a spokesperson for? Correct. What's the second time that's been brought up today? Josh sent me those pictures.

That's weird. Yeah. All right, this is for you first. Okay. Which year did Rachel graduate high school? 1999. What year did you graduate high school? 99.

How many followers does Rachel have on Instagram? Oh, God. 1.6 million. What do you think? I think that's right. Yeah. In 2007, who did Rachel name as her fashion inspirations? Cienna Miller.

Is that not right? Nope. Diane Leighton. Diane Keaton. One more? Cianna's not on there? Nope. Kate Moss.

I was going to say Kate Moss, but that's kind of, okay. All right. Last one. In 2011, what did you name is your favorite romantic movie? Romantic movie? Let her answer first. 2011? It's not just friends.

I was going to say. Out of spite. 2011 romantic movie. It didn't come out. This movie did not come out in 2011. This is just when she was asked the question and answered it. Dirty dancing? Is it when Harry met Sally?

Sleepless in Seattle. What? That's not true. That's incorrect. She lied. You lie. She was caught in a moment. True.

Well, all right. Well, that's it for our 100th episode. Our 100th episode. We should have baked a cake or something. We can. A strudal. Do you think we'll make it to 200? Ooh.

Rob's like, please God, no. Yes, I do. I do too. Thanks, broadians and everybody. And thanks you guys. Thanks, you guys. 100. That's crazy.

It's a lot of talking. Damn. Thank you, everybody. I don't say too much talking. Someone would say. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast.