Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen - Tammin Sursok & Roxy Manning on Cancel Culture, Male Babysitters, and Disciplining Other People’s Kids

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Tammin and Roxy, hosts of the Women on Top podcast, return to Broad Ideas. They talk about Bobbi Althoff, whether you can be redeemed after getting canceled, and why sleepovers are sketchy. They also discuss male babysitters, potty training, and disciplining other people's kids.Broad Ideas is supported by Talkspace. Get $80 off your first month at Talkspace.com/IDEAS.Broad Ideas is supported by Brooklinen. Visit Brooklinen.com and use code broad for $20 off your order of $100 or more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Broad Ideas. Hi. Hi.

Today we have our girls back. Tamin and Roxy are joining us from Women on Top. We love them. We love when they come to see us. And they're here again. So let's welcome Tamin and Roxy. Sometimes when all these thoughts are swirling, round and round inside to join us on this journey as we take.

a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampon strings. We'll talk about boys better make you cry. We'll talk about death because people die. They're just prescription. Sunglasses. Sunglasses.

And I left my glasses in the car. I'm going to next time I'll see you out to wear sunglasses apparently the whole time. I was wondering because you were just sitting there in your sunglasses. I'm just trying to be cool. It's a really strong. Like, I can't really see you. But wait, I can totally see you now. Well, feel free to wear them.

It's a mood. It's a mood. I thought you were just wearing. Yeah, I'm recording. I thought to me was wearing him because the lights were somewhere. She has known me for like five years. And she's like, oh, that's why you wear sunglasses inside. I'm like, yeah, because I can't see.

Their prescription. Do you think I'm just thinking? I wonder if mine will work for you. What are you? Minus what? Plus. I'm plus. Oh, no, no.

I can see close, close. Like, this is great. Oh, see, I can't. Like, I can look at this microphone. But I literally, I actually don't think I look as old as I actually probably do because I can never see myself in the mirror. Oh, my God. I've thought that recently. I'm like, I have great goals.

I don't want to look in the mirror that close. It's hard to put on makeup now, too, a little bit. Like, without the glasses, like, really eye makeup, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think I thought about ponds. It's just a mess. You guys.

The 40s. It's only been a week. It's only been a week, but you're there. How did it happen so fast? Wait a minute. I have a question about the Bobby Girl and the podcast. Oh. I did a deep dive on her, obviously.

I want to know about Bobby Altaf. She reached out to me on my DMs and asked if I would be in her podcast. This is before she even had a podcast. She was trying to find guests. You're like, sure. And she even said, like, could I help? Like, not could I help, but is there, like, she doesn't know how to get guests. She was even said that she would pay people at the time.

Yeah. She's very been open about that. She asked if I'd do her show. And I said, yes, as sort of my character from Priddle Liar, Jenna. And then we asked her to be on our show. And she's, like, totally unassuming, sweet, beautiful, little, very chatty, very young. We did our show with her. And then she did a show with me.

but she never released it. She didn't release it. She didn't release it because I think she was ultimately going to release it. But then she got so big, so fast with Drake. So it's not like she could put Drake and then Tammond. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm super self-aware. I get it.

Like if I was in the beginning of her show and like, you know, while she was up and coming and stuff like that, I get it. But which would have been great. But now that she's getting such huge people like Drake and, you know, Mark Cuban, I think it would be strange to be like that girl from Prittle Liars. next on the show. So it wasn't released, but we saw the video clip. You saw a clip.

There was lots of clips she put on, but then she does this thing that she told me about. She takes videos on and off all the time. And she, it's strange. I don't know. So when a video doesn't do well, she'll take it off and then she'll retry it and retry it and retry it and see if the algorithm kind of works.

So Drake obviously didn't do well, so that's why she took it off. Which one, Drake? Yeah. No, Drake is on there, right? No, it's been taken off. It's like a whole controversy because. You know why, right?

No. It's so it. It makes sense. It's because he asked her about the tiger. Is it Tyga? Tiga. Yeah. And she was like, I don't know it.

And he's like, you know Ratch City. And she was like, no. And he played it for her. And so it was lightly playing in the background of their interview. Oh, because they would have had to pay it. Yeah. So because of licensing, they had to remove it. That's what I heard.

There's so many theories. Another was that she was like standing at the concert, like looking uninterested. Yeah. But that's, here's the thing. The stick has been done, like, the stick has been done for a while. It's, you know, Zach Gelfinacus. He did that with his show. Yeah.

It's been around for a while. It's an alter ego. She is not that person. She is the sweetest, most demure people-pleaser, lovely girl, like, does a schick. Yeah. And the schick makes people feel uncomfortable, I think. And some people laugh and they think it's hilarious. And other people they don't understand.

So it feeds the fury. And that's what like kind of feeds that algorithm, whether you like it or not. Like it makes you feel uncomfortable because the alter ego is she says what people might say, want to say, but like can't. Or she can hide. Yeah, never say. So she can hide behind that. But I think there's a part of it that is really smart. Is it fresh?

I don't know. But like power to her. As I get older, I just want everyone to succeed. You know, I think when I was younger, I used to look at it as a competition about like, oh, if that person succeeds, then it means that I'm not good enough or I'm not, you know. And I'm like, she's in her 20s. She's got two young kids. Good for her.

Like, I think, I think why not, you know, if you hate it, whatever, if you like it, whatever. It's just someone out there at least putting themselves out there. Right. They might fail. And it's the people who really try that succeed sometimes. And for somebody so young to be able to put themselves out there like that and like she's created like her whole business and her brands. Absolutely. It's insane.

But it was funny when she came into the studio to record with us. She was like, should I do the alter ego or do you want me to be me when we do this interview? Right. That's true. And we said, no, be you. We want to like know more of you. I think it would be more interesting to do. Oh, should we have never an alter-hego?

We really... Do you guys have one you'd like to do now? Yeah, can you guys please now do it? Whatever the... I don't even think I could do it. That would it be? My schick is not, because I... I'm not a people-placer, but because I was bullied, right?

There's a version of that character, like her alter ego or an alter ego like that that can feel like someone's bullying me. Even though I know it's not, you know, like calling me all my shit. So I don't think I would be that type of alter ego. Like where you kind of like call people out? No. I don't think that that's my shtick. Well, hers is very similar to like an Aubrey Plaza in a sense where it's just like.

So dry. It's so dry. And I could watch it all day long. I like it because I like when people feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel comfortable. Yeah. So I enjoy watching it. The other person feels uncomfortable.

Yeah. I like it. I'm like, oh, this is weird. I wish I asked us now. Like her and I did one and it was, I thought it was really fun. Like it was, I played exactly. what she was playing. I wasn't playing myself. Because you were in on it. Yeah. You were in on it. I was in on it. I was in on it. I was, yeah. I was, yeah. I was, like,

Tamman, like, what? I was fucking with her the whole time. That's what it felt like. And she knew. You guys were both in on it or no. We were both that. She told me. She was both in us. She was asking me crazy questions and I was just fucking with her the whole time. Yeah. You were like, you said something like, $300,000 vacation in Orange County or something. That was like you're a dream vacation. I got defensive at first watching it. I'm like, she better not have fucked with her. I was like watching it like ready. And she was like,

you had an extra on pretty liars. I was like, yeah. And she's like, you know, and I was like, I didn't really get to, you know, say anything. But they, they gave me three times more than the people who worked there.

So, and she was like, yeah. And I was like, because I was the best. I didn't have to talk and I still got paid a lot. You know, like just that kind of stuff. You know, people do that? I feel like, do you remember years ago? Remember Chris Klein? Is that his name?

Chris Klein. Wait. Oh, God. Oh, the actor? Yeah, the actor. And he did a whole interview, but he was joking. and it was very male chauvinistic

and like, it almost canceled him, but it was actually hilarious because he would, you know what, I better not speak on this because I don't know what he said. This whole podcast is going to be.

I don't know what he said. With the cancel culture, just because you brought up, do you guys think there's redemption from that? Like if somebody was just talking about that. Depends on what you do. Depends on me.

She's just like, how is there no redemption? Like she was just talking about like how harsh she is essential. There should be redemption, but it depends on what you do. What level of. And I also believe in learning. Like the things that we might have said in our early 20s

because we were just idiotic and weren't aware. Like I always say I'm not going to be political. But if you vote for someone in office the first time, I give you a pass because you don't know, right? And you maybe get a little, you watch certain things and you're like, well, this could be good for the economy or whatever. But then when you vote for them again knowing what has happened, then I don't give you a pass.

And I feel like it's the same for cancer culture. If you've done something in your past, I think that there should be, to a certain extent, some kind of redemption. But if you keep doing it, you should be fuck. Like, fuck you. You know, you should be able to learn from it. Because if you don't learn,

then how do we even grow as a society? Right. My question is, every single person that we talk to feels the same way. Who is it then that's so into the cancel culture? Because most people that we speak to are very compassionate and understanding and think that there has to be learning curves. And I think it's very different to be canceled for saying something and actually harming people. Right.

Like those things are... But your words can harm people. They can. Right. But the things that people are being canceled for are being held at the same standard as things that are actually really causing damage. Yeah. And this context, right?

I think a lot of these times, like we're not in a situation where the context. where that the context was around and Rachel was hadn't you know she was on our podcast and said something and then like it became such a big thing but there was no context around it and I think that's the issue too is like if you aren't listening to the surrounding factors it just you you take you pick and choose and of course the first thing people go to is that person's canceled and you look at and I'm not going to speak directly to this case but who just got who was going to go to jail and then Kevin Spacey he just got cleared of all charges. that every single charge.

And they did a really deep dive, like a court. He was in court for a very long time, and he was cleared of everything. I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was true or not. But they did their due diligence. They had, you know, the jurors and everyone acquitted him of saying, no, he did not do these things that he was accused of.

And then my question is, well, does he now have a career? Or have we already canceled him just based on the fact that we think it happened, even though we don't. have all the evidence. Right. You know, and it's hard for him. Like, he's probably done now, no matter if it was sure enough. Yeah. How do you come back? Right. How do you come back? Yeah. Because brand and name it are so much now. Right. You know, your reputation. That's all of that. It is. It is. It's just like the same thing. Like, growing up, if there's a rumor, everyone's going to believe it, you know, or people put things out there. It's like the same thing. Well, it can be really

damaging, especially when the things are false. That's what, I mean, think about if that happened your child. Think about if your child got pinned for saying something or doing something and it was false information and how do you get back from that? You know, like I do think in some ways we do have to look for avenues in which we can clear people so that they can learn from it and move on. But just like you said, if they keep doing it. It depends what it is. You know, when it comes to like sexual abuse in any form, like towards a woman like that for me, I'm kind of done with you. Like, Child abuse. Yeah, even if, you know, I feel like that's just a hard line in the sand.

You know, women's rights, issues, things like that, you know, but, but yeah, we're all dumb and stupid at some point. I mean, I can't even imagine, like, thank God they didn't have Twitter and Instagram when I was a child actor because the shit, like, I didn't even know what, like, I was like, I didn't know. Right. And your frontal lobe of your brain doesn't fully develop until you're 25 years old to the shit that you do early on in your 20s.

Thank God I didn't have a record. of that. Listen, we recapped a story when I was in Indonesia. My best friend came. And the last time I saw her drunk, I was 25 in Vegas. And my husband, who wasn't my husband at the time, caught her vomit in his hands. Because he was so nice and he didn't want her to get kicked out of the club. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. He caught her in vomit. I was like, that is the moment I wanted to marry you. And he, like, she was about to vomit and he was like slow motion, I remember. Her his hands just went out And I was like, no And she's like, Blah!

And he's holding it. And like the security is like, who's vomiting? And he's like, it's all good. It's like dripping. Yeah. So goes to the bathroom, washes his hands,

and she didn't get kicked out. And I was like, that is a nice guy. That's true. That's true. I'm like, that's nasty. That's a nice thing. Oh, my God.

That is. good that's a good night to go out on though like go the jt like sorry that's like that wasn't my very last night she's like i gave up drinking that night but rachel had her eyes on me at that point i remember because then we went to a wedding and she was like looking at me we went to jill's wedding and i was like i'm not drinking don't worry i'm not going to drink like don't worry you don't have to watch me and then it was like five o'clock and i had my wine and you came up to me and you were like i thought you weren't And I was like, I wasn't. Just one.

So now I'm just going to have a glass of wine. Yeah. You're like, that's not drinking. Yeah. And how many glasses did you have? I had a weekend, okay? Yeah. But that was the beginning of the end.

And then when I woke up in a bikini and hadn't gone out in a bikini, I was like, I didn't bring a bikini out with me. You know what I mean? How did I get back to the house put on a bikini? Go somewhere in it and then wake up in it. It's what you wore to the wedding. Wasn't your bikini or wasn't somebody else's? It was my bikinis.

Okay. Yeah. No, but that makes it weird. It was someone else's. That would make sense. You were out of the place. Someone gave you their bikini. I made it back to the place.

God, the bikini went somewhere else and came back. You know what I mean? Yeah. I bet you were popular that night though. If you went on a bikini, I mean. Yeah. I like bring this girl to my party. We had a psychiatrist

just an hour ago before I saw you guys and he said there's like rings about like issues that you have. And the first ring is like if you can't control it and it controls you, it's a problem.

And if it's ruining the relationships and like changing your life and you can't function, it's an issue. And then Roxy and I live in that second ring a lot. That's pulled into neurotic ring. It's not a full. issue, but like some people find it weird, like, you know, am I going to get poisoned every time

I eat like that? But it doesn't affect your life so much that you won't eat. You know what I mean? And then there's the other, what's the third ring? We don't have in that ring. Sanity. No, maybe that's like you just choose that that's like a quirk. Because you think it's like going to improve your life or something like. Yeah, like Ruckty doesn't shit in toilets. And she's like, it's a quirk of mine. That's the third. That's the third ring. But I think she lives in the second ring with the poo thing. It's kind of like, you know, it's a shit. It's a little. It's a little bit. It's issue, but it's not, you know, she will find a toilet. Yes, I will. I will. Yeah, eventually. You will find a toilet. I will find it. I will. If it's like an emergency, I will find a toilet. But I would prefer to

like, go home, you know, and just have my own. Yeah, right? Who wouldn't? Yeah, right? Maybe. Imagine there's someone that's like, I prefer other toilets. Who? Who? Broad Ideas is supported by TalkSpace. Do you think seeing a therapist or psychiatrist would be helpful, but you don't have the time to actually find one and meet with them or afford them. Try Talkspace. By doing everything online, Talkspace has made getting the help you want easy, accessible, and affordable. When you've met your therapy goals or simply want to cancel, Talkspace has a simple cancellation

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ideas to get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's talkspace.com slash ideas. Broad Ideas is supported by Brooklinen. Is there a season better than fall? Nope, just like fall. Brooklinen delivers crispness, the colors, and the comfort. Brooklyn was founded by husband and wife duo Rich and Vicky in 2014. Their mission is to provide their customers with hotel quality award-winning luxury betting. Brooklinen's internet famous sheets have over 100,000 five-star reviews, won multiple awards from industry experts, and are made with long staple cotton for longevity and softness. I love brook linen. Let me tell you, I am a big fan.

Getting into my bed, getting into my sheets is so important to me. And ever since I switched to Brooklinen, I look forward to getting in bed every single night. Experience the difference for yourself and check out Brooklinen's new fall collection. Visit in-store or online at brooklynon.com and use code broad for $20 off your online order of $100 or more. That's B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N-com promo code broad for $20 off. Yeah. I've told my husband to go, what do you think about this? So if you're going to take a bath, right, and your husband needs to go to the bathroom,

no. I think that that's bullshit. I mean, while you're in the bathroom? No, but like he wants to go before and you want to take a bath. No. No. I think it's not cool. No.

And take a shit or something? Right. Yeah. I would be like go down, go to go to go out somewhere else. Go down the street. But I don't know. I think some guys are just like, well, I need to go to the bathroom. And then you can take a bath afterwards.

Yeah. No, that's disgusting. It's rude. It's like, I don't know to smell that. There's not another bathroom. You're saying there's not another bathroom as an option. I do have other bathrooms. I knew you did.

I knew you got more than a bathroom than you. You look like a girl that has two bathrooms. Yeah. My mom used to call it the gas station. Well, when she was young, she would get. She used to call the gas station the gas station. So she would get nervous. And like if she was on a date or whatever, she'd be like, I have to go to the gas station and get.

And she'd go to the gas station and poop. And so I like that. Yeah. Yeah. And so she would do that. And then I remember I came to her house one day. Poor guy. The gas station's like, there she is again.

There's that one. There it is. Came to her house and her boyfriend, like her boyfriend at the time. I was like, where's my mom? He's like, in the gas station. And bring it to the other bathroom. and they started calling the other bathroom the gas station. Okay, what about if you're on your first trip with like the guy you're dating?

Yes. And you have to go take a shit. What do you do if you're in the hotel, you know, you guys are sharing a room. You leave. You leave and you go to lobby bathroom. Who does this? Your first vacation with a dude, you're like, well, it's been, look, it's been 16 years. So, okay, so I have to like really think about it, like, what I would do now.

This is what I would do. Firstly, I don't poo that much. Like, it's not like I would have a mid-out. I wouldn't have a mid-afternoon. She doesn't even pee. I don't drink coffee. But I don't like have a mid, like people have mid-afternoon poos.

That doesn't happen to me. It's a first, it's in the morning. You know what I mean? Like I wake up, it's pretty regular. That's pretty much it for the day. If I'm a two-fer,

it's probably at night. And it's not like, I don't have like a random, like, oh, it's 4.30 in the afternoon. My stomach's getting a little queasy. Like, I don't like randomly like drive home gone, I'm got to go poo. Like, it never happens to me.

It's always in the morning. So I wake up. I'm like, oh, it's time. So if somebody else is in the room, firstly, I would put paper down. So you don't have to hear it, right? So it's not a big, like, plop. So that's cool. And then the minute it comes out, you flush it straight away.

Yes. I look at the air. It's not even in the air. It's like immediately. Fall, you flush. But some air gets out. And then you can like, you know, I have a piece of perfume. No, no.

I would go to that hotel lobby. I would say, I would know what I would say. Yeah. And you flush within a second. The only issue with that is sometimes and has caught me off guard is when you end up wiping, sometimes that second flush doesn't flush. And then you've got the paper. You notice that? No, you're trying to flush it and that like, you're going to fling it.

It's like, it's not going down. It's just going, oh, my God. Now there's all the toilet paper and it's like smudged and you're like, and you're like, oh, my God, then you have to wait for the girl to stop. And then you press it again. And at this point, the guy's like, what is she doing in there? That is the issue, though. They're trying to hire doing it now.

But if you're using to go to the, like, outside. Yeah. And it's like a multiple flusher. But the guy's seen like all your bits at that point. No, I'm not necessarily. But if you're staying in a first vacation, you've seen everything. In a hotel.

If you can hold it in a hotel, this is what I suggest. Okay. Now listen, I'm not guaranteeing that you'll get it all out. Okay. On this excursion. But you're at the restaurant. You go, like you're going to go pee. And you're,

you get as much out as you can. But in the time slot, sometimes you don't, especially for traveling. Yeah, you have to get it out. It's a little constipated. Right, then you don't have to worry because it's not coming out of it.

But you just get like a little rabbit turd. You know, this little like, I've always, I've Googled many times like, what is the rabbit turd mean? And they're just like, you're dehydrated. And I was like, oh.

You know, like it's a little bit that comes out. Damn it. And it's hard and you're just like random rabbit turd on my couch. You know, wait, I don't. You guys. It was either from my child or adopt, my dog or like, I have a no idea. Let me explain something to you.

Ladies. Olivia's house has random shit that happens. Literally. They're potty training. Oh, potty training. The dog shits everywhere. The child's shit everywhere. The dog will go to the bathroom anywhere.

Not in the house. How big is the dog? She pees on the bed. She doesn't be shit on the bed. It's fine. I would rather shit than pee. I'd obviously rather a shit anywhere because normally they're not mushy and you pick it up. Normally.

And there's like a little bit of a smudge. And that's fine. I know, I know, I know. It's a thing. It's like, it's an is, like when my kid pees through. It happens. We're getting out of trained. F that.

Nope. Right. Your new puppy, you need to. Yes. Yeah. Peeing on the bed is no way of one. She's untrained. Her dog.

What type of dog? French bull dog. Has she? Did she ever go to training puppy school? Yeah. She went to boot camp. So maybe there's no hope, like for us. We're putting her on CBD and it's helping.

Her anxiety. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Do you think she gets jealous of the kids? No, she's obsessed with the kid. I don't know what it is. I once put a diaper on my dog and it ended terribly because I just shit in the diaper.

And it smudges their hot. Oh, no. I was like, this is genius. And I was like, oh my God, this is the worst invention. Oh, no. I had to put a diaper on my dog before she was fixed because she had got her period. I remember. That's true.

Yeah. It's like monthly, is it? Well, she only had it once and then she was fixed. Yeah. They're like, I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they say to wait one cycle. So back to Olivia and shitting every, like things shitting everywhere.

Rachel came over the other day and it was. It was a shit storm. Like a literal shit storm. I feel bad for you. It's fine. We're seeing that much shit come out of any person. And he is a tiny four-year-old. Oh, I remember.

Big poops. Yeah, we potty trained out second when she was two because of the pandemic, which is great. So we literally just took her clothes off for a week and a half. We couldn't leave the house anyway. And she, like, poved every. You can't leave the house. The minute you leave the house when you're part training, it's an issue. And it's hard when you have a life and when they're older and they've got things to do.

So two years old took everything off. And within a week, she was potty trained. But until the first couple of times out, and she was on the slide and just diarrhea down the whole thing. Oh, no. Oh, no. And I watched in slow motion. I was like, no. And then I looked at Chon and I was like, you're up, buddy.

And I just pieced out with my eight-year-old. I was like, I'm out. Oh, my God. No. Did you have anxiety during potty training, the night potty training? Like, I waited on that longer than the regular because. just stopped you. We did three. You don't want to deal with them wearing the bed because it's, you just have to wait until, you just have to wait until my son still wears pull-ups to bed.

But that's okay. He's four. Yeah, he's so much. And you're looking at me. No, I'm looking at you. Like, should I not be saying that out. Wow. No. I think it's a medical condition. No, no, no, no. For four? No. No. No. Seven. Oh, yeah. That maybe it is. Oh. I was like my four-year-old. You know, she's never. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was. I was like, normal. The seven-year-old. Well, my husband says it could be classified. There's some word for it.

The husband's a doctor. So it could be connected with sleep apnea. So we need to get up check because he doesn't wake up from it. He doesn't wake up from it. Gotcha. Does he be before he goes to bed? Yes. Does he sometimes it's dry?

Listen to me. I'm like, sound like it's dry when he wakes up. Oh, the diaper. I mean, the pull-up. Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. You have to wait until it's consistently dry for like a week. two weeks to go without it.

So we stopped giving him water at a certain time. We make him go pee. We do all of those things. He does not wake up from it. I don't know. Keep the pull-ups. So if they're still, you know, wetness there.

I just keep him in pull-ups. And everyone's like, well, he's going to be old and he's going to be made fun of. He doesn't care. Yeah. Like, he doesn't care. He's like, we'll do like big sleepovers.

He'll sleep here. You know, my daughter is around. He's just rocking his pull-up. Yeah. Like, no problem. Just not in a month. Question, what do you, because I didn't think I would be like this in my stance on it, but what do you think about sleepovers?

Because I have very, yes. So I don't, my kids don't have sleepovers and they probably won't. Like kids at your house or them going to houses? They can come to our house. Right. Happy for them to come to our house. But I read a statistic, a very high percentage of girls who are sexually abused are during sleepovers. Because firstly, you see heard this?

Of course. You think you know the cup, which you do, but you don't know the stepbrother. You don't know the uncle who might be coming over. You don't know. There's so many other people that could be coming in and out of a family that you go, okay, well, I know the husband. I trust the husband, we think, which most of the time you do. And there's most of my friends' husbands I definitely would trust.

But there's other things that go on, you know? And I've heard it's a very high percentage. And it's normally that age range between nine and I think it's 15. Like 9 and 15. I'm against sleepovers. Yeah. So I, and I've had this argument with other friends that think I'm insane. I don't, yeah.

There's a couple of people that I am okay with it. Like me, obviously. But Rachel's by herself, like, right? Yeah, but she's also my family. Yeah. So it's like, it's not like you have like a random person or a guy coming. It's like, you know what I mean? It's a revolving.

There's only a couple. No, there's a couple of people. Honestly, my kids. have never once done a sleepover without me except at Rachel's house. Yeah, there's like one. And I'm not comfortable with them doing it. You know, my daughter doesn't want to sleep out. Like she, you know, and I was like that too as a kid.

That's the thing is. And the person I was arguing with, she was like, well, what if when he makes friends, they're going to want to have sleepovers? I'm like, that's great. They can sleep at my house. Like, especially families like you make at school and you think, you don't know people. Yeah. And I feel very protective of my children in that way, for sure.

And I don't even know, my parents, too. Oh, yeah. Well, no, that's not true. It's not true that I haven't thought about it. But maybe because my daughter doesn't want to sleep out. And you're really close with the people you would ever consider doing that. But most, unfortunately, when you really like open it up, it's most of these things happen with people that you know. Yeah, they do.

It's not random people. It's people that are in your inner circle. And the, like, even like the piano teacher. You know, you just, it's really, it's really scary. And it's normally people that the, that your children trust. Because that's how sort of, you know, abusers. They groom them. Yes.

Yeah, no, it's a thing. It's a thing. And we were just talking about that this weekend. Like, I didn't even know there was a thing called grooming. Like, they didn't. Like, not really that they actually take. Yeah, that they take time and effort warming them up into it. Yeah.

They're grooming them for that moment. That freaks me out. Yeah, that's really scary. I'm like, that is petrifying. And it could be like a teacher or somebody close to them and you have no idea. That's why I would never let them spend alone time with. Right. And my children.

Any males ever. I mean, I'm so sorry. Do you feel like that about females too or is it just males for you? Because for me with females, I don't feel that at all. I don't feel it as much because I think like statistically it's less life. But is it likely, absolutely. But even my five-year-old now, we have this mantra that we have been taught to teach her, which might seem like a lot considering her age, but she knows verbatim how to say, do not touch my breast vagina or butt area because I need to, because I am too young and I need to

give you consent. I can give you a hug because I'm only old enough to do that. That was a script that I learned from a therapist that said you need to teach your kids because what happens is they don't No. And she's very, she knows it. And we've, she knows it. And we've mentioned it a few times and she will repeat it back to us because even though she's almost five, now she knows what those parts are when we go, your pee-pee and your poo-boo. She never used those pet names. She needs to know that that is her and if anyone ever came up to her and touched her inappropriately, she would say no, because she knows that I'm not old enough to do that. I cannot do that. Wow. You know, and I think it starts really young and it's really scary. But if you empower your kids to know what these. body parts are and what makes them feel uncomfortable, then they'll be able to vocalize it. But if I never taught her that, she'd be like, what is, what is going on? Like, are we playing?

Like, she wouldn't really know. That's the scary part. And for me, like, I do find myself shutting off and wanting to avoid it. Like, and be like, well, I don't even want to bring that into his consciousness or whatever. But you have, I struggle with that too. And you don't do scary. You don't make it scary. You're just like, hey, sometimes, like, we're not sometimes.

If this ever happens, this. is what you do. And she even says, you know, it's funny. Like my, my mom gave her this big hug recently. And she was like, no, I don't feel like a hug right now. And my mom was like a little offended by it. But then she kind of go over it. But she was like, I just don't feel like it. And I was like, I was really proud of my five year old for be able to like notice when she didn't feel like it in that moment. Right. You know what I mean? And so like she can be like, but she loves my mom. She's a little over her. But like she just was feeling like tired or whatever it was like, you know. Yeah. My daughter, you know, recently has stopped wanting to kiss her parents on the lips.

Same. Same. Same. Same. So she's, like, not down for it. And, you know, it's a bummer. But I'm not like, you have to kiss me right now. And I'm like, it's your choice.

If you don't want to, you know, I totally get it. And it's weird the lip kissing thing because David Beckham had a photo him kissing his daughter at the time. Probably like 10 or 11. He got such flack for it. See, I don't think that's right. You know what else that's flak was? The Coca, um, Ice Tea's wife.

Oh, yeah. She always gets. So much black for free thing. I was like, her daughter kisses her. Like people were like, she's like on her and kissing her and you're like, it's her mom. It's her mom. I know. I think it's because a lot of these people don't have, you know, when you have a child, you know how up in their grill you get. Like you're kissing their face and they're biting their little shoulders and like because they're babies, right? And it's like a, it's a maternal thing. You're constantly on them and kissing them and touching them. And then at some point they move away from that. But some kids still are connected

to that, those feelings, right? Of like holding and being held and loved on. But I do notice to you have to retrain like family members, especially like old school family members about it because they'll say, oh, come give grandpa a hug. I know. Right. You know, and it's sometimes, you know, but you're like, no, but she doesn't feel like that. So she shouldn't have to do that because she's a lot of the autonomy. Yes. They do, of course. Right. We have to do it. We have to do it. So my brother's living with us right now, and he has to advocate for his own body all the time because I have two sons that are buck wild. They're buck wild and they love to be naked and they love to twerk and they love to.

And he'll say to them, what you're doing makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't like it when you touch my body like that. Because they'll come up to him. Yeah, he doesn't like it because it makes him feel uncomfortable. He's like, don't rub your butt on it. me, you know. And so I've had to be like your, your private parts, you do not touch other people with them. You don't touch other people's private parts and you don't let them touch yours. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, like this. It's hard though. It's hard though to like have those

conversations without making them feel ashamed. I know. Right. And be like, it's all this. You want them to be, you know, free and all of it. There's no shame on their face. Oh, my kids are naked. Like literally like, we have to tell them, do not take your clothes off because we're about to leave. Because, you know, like, when you go into the house, we go into the house for, like, not even like a millisecond and, like, they're butt naked. Yeah. What is that with kids? They love it.

I mean, it's like their freedom, right? That's true. I mean, I'm but naked because I love it. But I think, too, it's like the household because, like, my husband and I and our daughter, like, we don't have any shame in our bodies, like, in that way. So if we're naked, we're naked, no one even looks twice, you know, it's like, we'll have a conversation, you know, and, you know, whatever. Like, it goes on dinner.

Yeah. I'm cooking in the kids. We'll have my neighbors over. Oil splashing all over my titty. Wow. I mean, come on. Come on over tonight. Did you live in a naked family, though?

Nope. I lived in the complete opposite. Really? Yes, complete opposite. My parents were very conservative with that. We never talked about sex. Did you ever see your dad naked? No.

Your mom naked? Mom, yes. Like, mom, yes. go to the, help us, like, go to the bathroom and stuff like that. Yes, Mom, yes. And she would, like, if she took a bath, like, yeah. But it was never like, you know, we never talked about sex. We were never kind of like out in the open. So I think, and my husband was the same way. He came from a very similar background in that way. So I think for us, it's kind of like, we don't want our daughter to feel like she has to be ashamed of her body. Do you think there's an

age where you would consider it in a pro, or I don't even know the word for it for the daughter to like take a bath with her dad? I think the dad, and I don't know if this is right or wrong, but I think the dad thing is different than the mom thing. And I don't know why because, like, if my mom was in a bath even now, she's 75. If it was a big bath, I'd just jump in there. Like, it's, I wouldn't jump in with my dad. No.

I'm like, I'd feel very uncomfortable. And my mom, like, I'd just be, like, chatting away. Like, you just feel very, very normal. So, like, my eldest daughter, I don't feel like there's an issue. Like, I wash her hair. Sometimes it's easier when I'm in the shower, too. obviously my youngest is four, but my husband wouldn't shower with her now. No.

How old is she? She's nine. Nine. And who wouldn't shower with her now? I don't know what age it is. I don't know. He would shower with my four-year-old probably to wash her hair if he needed to, like if she walked in or anything like that.

I think I would say around six. Like what's up of the toddler stage? Yeah, nine is creeping to preteen. Like they know enough to be looking. I feel like even Elliott is seven. And I am, I change in front of him every day. I'm not going to lie. Like I'm always changing and working around.

I feel like the mom is different. I don't know. Well, here's, it's like, if friends are over, you know, and if I'm changing, like, are you free or that's weird. Like, you know what I mean? Like. Their friends. Yeah. No.

Oh, no. Do it in front of their friends. Well, not like, you're not like getting in the shower while I'm standing there. A baby. Sure. Like, it's, I would feel uncomfortable bathing to kids. Phoenix's age now. I wouldn't get in a bath with

anybody else's kids. No, no, no, no, no. Not me getting in it, but like bathing. If Phoenix, because Phoenix takes a bath or shower and if two of her friends got in the shower at nine, I would not, I don't know, I would feel inappropriate. Like if there were boys or girls or it doesn't matter. I think so. Like, would you feel comfortable Phoenix getting in with Bray and showering?

I mean, maybe. I think it was like a bath or maybe. I would be fine. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd be okay. Because if I would be okay with you Bathing Phoenix and I'd probably feel comfortable

bathroom break. Yeah, yeah. I think when they're that little still with the kids. I think maybe puberty. Yeah. I think it's when, I think being with the opposite sex is different.

Like for sure. Friends being in a bath together until they're, I mean, I remember my friend Deanna and I would take baths together until we were like 22. I would probably say. I honestly have some.

people in my life that I can take a shower with now. Oh, Leah and I have show. Oh, yeah. I have no problem. Our other best friend. We're like, yeah, we'll just shower. Yeah, that is not, that's sexual. No.

Until it becomes. No, but it's true. But dads, I'm just like, I wouldn't want dads bathing my children. No. Like ever, but ever. Random dad. Ever, right?

Random dads. What I mean, like, because you know how you like bathe all. friends or like put them in the shower together. Sure. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a dad doing that with my child. Do you go with your child's friends or your child? Like you're like if,

like if my friends were, if Elliot and his friends were playing at Tammons and her husband was going to give them all a shower. Yeah, my husband, my husband, my husband, I would feel weird about that. So my four year old has five year old, four and a half year old has sleepovers at our house because there's two girls that like to come over and my husband will ask me to bat them right yeah because he thinks it's appropriate for their parents not you know what I mean like just to make them to feel comfortable and stuff like that yeah that's what I would bat I would shower

them and buy them right right the kids that makes sense okay what about babysitters though because a lot of young men and boys babysit so like right how would he feel about a male well it's funny we were to we were traveling last summer and we're staying with some friends on the East Coast and they you know we needed a babysitter for like the night we were going out for dinner and everything and she the mom was like oh we've got this amazing guy who used to babysit our kids you know because she had a boy and a girl and she's like he's great he's so responsible and I just couldn't I couldn't do it because I felt like you even though it's different than a four year old it's different than a four year old but still like, I don't know. I didn't know him, A. No. But she spoke very highly of him,

said he was great. But I just, there was something in me that I just couldn't do it. And maybe, maybe that's like sexism on my part that I'm saying, like, I would feel uncomfortable with a boy babysitting girl. You know, like you just got to look at like statistically. It's statistically. It's statistically. It's statistically. It is. The reality is it happens more with men than women. Like, it just is statistically. It's just fact. Right. I wouldn't let a male baby. babysit that I didn't know bathe my child. No. No.

No way. I'd be like, no thanks. If he was going to stay with them and they were all going to watch a movie and I'm not going to lie, it still would make me feel a little weird. Totally. And it's not like I want to trust guys in that way. But if you look at the statistics, like, whose comfort am I putting first is the question I like to ask myself.

And I feel like that would be me, people pleasing. And me going along with something that if I were to be microscopically honest, I wouldn't be comfortable. But also you're going to think about, you know, I said to my husband, I was like, you know, every time I walk to my car at night in America or maybe not as much in Australia, but a lot of places, I'm always thinking someone might attack me. Well, you're also thinking you're going to get poison. Exactly. Like, I do have some. There's a thing. But like, don't you always, you're always on guard when you're walking alone.

that you might be attacked or assault, sexually assaulted. That's really sad that we have to feel like that. I'm constantly, and I said, do you walk to your car and think someone might be in it, attack you? And he's like, absolutely not.

I never think that. And I'm like, wow. But also, why would they? They've never been fed that narrative, right? Do I need a pepper spray? Do I need? And it's like, I hope at some point, like, that feeling can change because I want my girls to,

you know, and my husband is so, wonder like he's so great and he's he's the helper he's never he's never he's never heard anyone in his life but it's weird that like i think that every time i walk to my car well there's also a lot that happens like right now yeah yeah no no i'm just like a glazed my glass of water too yeah but it's it just in the daytime too not in the day i would say if i'm alone in a parking lot definitely at night. Oh, hell. Don't you always, like, you're always thinking. I don't think I'm ever alone parking lot at night. No, I don't even do that anymore. No, you can't. But if you ever walked your car at night, if you ever had to, aren't you always? I get scared to walk to my kitchen at night

in the house. Yeah. So, I mean, definitely. You stay as you stay in this room. I literally do not leave the room. She's like, so I got a mini fridge. Yeah. I have thought about it. I hope the generations that we raise will be these like you know i i read this thing about like you know guys get aggressive because they have been taught that like they can't really be emotional and feel and go through you know so they bottle it all up and a lot of that aggression comes from that and i hope we raise the generations to be like your sons to like really understand where the emotions come from and like be able to talk about things and not feel so stifled and right and like stuck you know yeah right yeah it's it's just so interesting, you know, and I think to some extent I've done a disservice to my kid with like,

I'm not exposing her at all these, but she's very sensitive. So like it might create anxiety or fears or whatever, you know, so it's kind of like really picking and choosing the most important things and doing that. And like what you taught your daughter to say at five, which is impressive. I'm like, well, it might be time. I mean, she's obviously aware and like, no. But if they don't learn it from you they'll learn it from someone. Like I said, like she just want to kiss us and she stands firm on it. She doesn't fold to pressure. You know what I mean?

No, no. Even the sex topic, right? Talking to your kids about sex, we had a sex therapist on like a child sex therapist like teaching us what to say to our kids. I think we need her. And the problem is if you at this age, especially by nine, if you haven't taught them about sex, they say most likely they've heard about it from someone else. And then they get a bad first draft.

And then when they get a bad first draft, whatever. you say doesn't really change what they've already heard. And so like it's really important to be the first person to the table when it comes to these big subjects. Because when we avoid them, which is so it feels easy at the time, it actually isn't easier in the long run. Right. Right. Yeah. You think you should be revisionist. No. Right. One of my daughter realized that like people can get murdered. She was like having nightmares every single night. Like waking up. You know what I mean? And it's like, that's the thing. It's like, what do you guard them from?

What's useful, you know, all of it. Yeah, it's a thing. It's a thing. My kids aren't guarded from the violence. At all. And they beat each other up all day long. All day long. It's like an MMA fight.

And, you know, I can only win so many battles. My daughter has like a scratch mark down hard. Like she went to school like and I was like, what happened? She's like, Lennon scratching. But I don't mind keeping my kids young. Like we're really, we're, we want. don't even let them watch stranger things. Like we're pretty, we don't do YouTube. We're very, we're still on kids YouTube. Like, I really don't care if, I'm, we've talked about sex,

penis goes into vagina. That's what we're supposed to say at this age. And you have a baby. That's really, that's really it at this age. You don't need to talk about the pleasure part quite yet. But I'm happy for her to not be aware of a lot of like the stuff on she doesn't have a phone. We're not going to do that until 13. At least I'm going to try because they really have studies about girls. They said that what a doctor? Doc Amon, who's a great doctor here, said that he's a psychiatrist. He said that 57% of young girls feel constantly sad.

From looking at their phones and social. Oh, my God. I will do that. I mean, it's going to be the biggest battle. I know. I don't care. But I first of all, I told her 16. Yes.

But I also want to get one of those. They're called, no, they're called dumb phones. Oh, I think that's... No, what is it? It's basically... Just call people. All you can do is call and text. That's great.

No social media. No internet. No anything. I'm like, great. I don't care. You can text your friends. Yeah. I was going to call me when you need me.

Right. I know people that do watches as well. Yeah. But I'm like, I don't want her. No. No. No. And certainly not social media.

I mean, social media is at high school or more. I trust her. I don't even want it. But it's not even you trust her. Like these weird guys can come into her DMs and all of a sudden she thinks... Do your kids play Roblox? Mine does. Yours don't?

Mine does. Well, it's the biggest thing, right? Right. But she knows. It's where other kids can, you know, join and try to play with them and whatever. And it's a thing that they all like to do. She doesn't with her best friends. And she enjoys it.

And on the weekend, you know, Saturday morning, if her friends are on, they can do it together. But anybody out there on Roblox can try to. Impersonate somebody. But she knows. You can turn that off, though. You can? You can turn the feature off where people can talk to you. Yes.

She has a no chat. She has no chat on there. I need to do that. Maybe I, maybe. That's like a hardcore rule of mine. Yeah. And there is guidelines on that. I believe on what they can say.

Okay. But I think there's a way to turn that aspect of it off. There is. It's a pin you put in because we set that on hers because we were like, I don't know. Like, if so. You don't want you talking to chat. Luckily, my daughter gets so focused on what she's, she's not paying attention to anything.

Because there's someone talking to her, there's no chance. Totally. Because we did, we did the, what's it called the. the PlayStation, what is it, the PX? The Switch. The Switch. We did that. Kids got aggressive.

Really starting getting. And you have one. You both have one. So it's like there's no, like we have two. So they got aggressive with each other. And I felt like it had something to do with the games. So we're really careful about video games. We'll let them do things like brush the hair or like drawing games and stuff like that.

But when they start playing games, they get really aggressive with each other. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My kids act like... Let me tell you.

Let me tell you. I think Shepard has a real future as an MMA fighter. My favorite? He is a beast. The video she sent me their first day of school, they're so cute, you know, in front of the front door and their little clothes and their backpacks and her older son who is so sweet.

He's so tender. He's so tender. He went and he kisses his little brother on the head. He's punched him. And Shepard turns around and it's like, what? It just like knocks him out. I mean, my two girls do that, so it's not just boys.

Right. Yeah. No, it's just what they do. It's just what they do. Yeah, and I don't even, it doesn't even bother me because it's their form of bonding. And I'm like, they're just bonding. They know, like, shuffing at the hospital. Yeah.

But, like, Shepard doesn't hit me. He doesn't hit other kids. He doesn't, like, they're not taking it outside of the house. Yeah. I'm like, you know, it's not coming from anger. It's like they're bear cups. Right. They're just like.

Energy. I mean, that's right. They have to get that energy. We have so much energy. So much energy. And I don't think, you know, Lenin, my youngest is going through like tantrums, big, big, big, big, big feelings. And we were in Australia. And of course, she's, like, overwhelmed and exhausted and having these feelings.

And, like, she'd have a tantrum. And I had people walk past and go, shh. Oh, no. Hell. Almost lost my shit. And people who are listening who aren't parents, I understand. Like, it looks like the kid is being bad. But what it actually is is a developmental milestone, which sounds weird.

but they're meant to have these tantrums because it's a way for them to kind of feel out the world and like try to learn how to communicate. And it's actually best when they're having a tantrum is just to let them have the tantrum. Right. And then talk about it after the tantrums. We do a lot of breathing exercises to try. But now like Lennon, my littlest one is like, I'm trying to breathe through my tantrum. But instead of just getting angry and being like, you're bad.

You need to go to your room. I'm just like, if you need to take some time to calm down, I will be here and I love you. And like obviously if you're in a store, get them out of the store because you don't want to disrupt people. If you're in a movie theater or whatever, like, of course I'm just not letting our tantrum in front of people and disrupting their lives. But they're not being bad. They need us to help them and mold them and give them guidance and be their like steadfast heroes rather than just being like, your feelings are too big, you know, and you're in trouble and go to your room. Like that's just so archaic. It is archaic.

It is. Oh, yeah. It just is. The thing is, this is what's hard for me and tell me if you experience that is we're working with a behavioral specialist right now because Shepard, my youngest, has behavior issues due to being, what's the word? Neurodivergent. Yeah. He's got, you know, learning disabilities and all that stuff. And so he's completely different than a typical kid.

So when he acts out and is like, he will get mean, he can be mean and be like, you're rude. I don't, you know, whatever. It's his favorite. Yeah. You're rude. and like, er, and he'll growl at you and all this stuff. And I'll be like, Shepherd. And I will talk to him in any way, shape, or form in the behavioralist is like, see that.

You're enforcing it. I'm like, wait, what? I'm like, I'm not supposed to do anything. And she's like, I know it feels really hard for you. Right. To let him do that. I'm like, well, it feels hard because I feel like I need to take care of the people around. and let them know.

It's embarrassed. And it's like I feel like I need to let them know. I know what he's doing is out of control. And she's like, so what I would suggest. Or perceived out of it. Right. She's like what I would do is I would heads up the people around and be like, hey, guys, we're doing this thing. I want you to know I'm not unaware of him screaming or tantruming.

We're well aware of it. But we're making a really concerted effort. To not react. Like, and shame. Is that right? To not any, give him anything. Whether it's positive or negative. Right.

Because what you're doing is you're enforcing it. So she's like, it's all about pivoting. Right? Pivot. And that's when you're having anxiety is good to like change the track. Yeah. And for me, the hardest is like the people around, I don't want them to think I'm just like, yeah, go ahead. It's more out, you know, trigger from the actual tan.

because my youngest had a tantrum at the monkey forest, right? But like a huge, and it's hot and we're in a line and everyone's looking and she's like, I hate you, screaming, right? And my first thing is I felt so triggered because firstly, I also was on TV there. So like some people recognize me from that and they're like, oh, there's that Taman, like our kids out of it. So that's an even more embarrassing. And then everyone's looking and then they're looking at me and I feel so bad. And then I was like, you know what, I'm not going to let other people's opinions of me right now dictate this situation.

and I'm going to do what's right for my kid. I got her out of there. And then I got her in a situation, like an area where she could tantrum it out. We calmed our bodies down. And then I spoke to her and we tried to solve the problem. Different when they're nine. Like they have more of an understanding about consequences and solutions. But when they're four, you hitting or throwing a kid in a corner or getting angry is not going to do any good for a four-year-old.

No. What do you guys think about people who discipline your kids? It's like it could be a stranger. I can't stand it. Somebody that's like, or you don't do that or you be quiet. A stranger? Yeah, like a stranger. Even a family member.

Like I start to like boil. Even a fan. I can't even do it if a family member or a friend. I have a friend who like gives my girls lessons. I just can't stand it. Unless it's a good lesson. Briar does something in Olivia is like Briar like. And not that.

That's never happened. It's never happened. But like if my best friend who like have known her since birth and like you have the same values. Yeah. And they'd be like, hey. I'd be like absolutely tell her if she's out of line, you know. But if it's like a mom from school, let's say, or something, another mom from school that's like, oh, you need to or talking to your kid being like, you know what this.

You can't ever really tell a mother or another parent something about their own child. It's just a very like sensitive. And again, you don't have the context. You don't know like a child might have autism. Like I looked, my friend's kid has autism and loses his mind and like that to other people's perceived as a bad kid. Right. can't control himself. Like literally can't control his impulses.

Right. And we just don't know someone else's situation. My advice is do not parent someone else's kid. Here's the thing, though. That happened this weekend. I was at a family camping trip. Okay. And Shepard, who, you know, it's so hard not knowing the word to really like encompass

his behavior. It's similar to autism, but it's not. Right. So it's different. He learns completely. completely different. He's not typical. And one of our family members, we were in their home and one of the family members, he did something and he said, not in my house, and you will do X, Y, and Z. And you know what? I liked it. Because I thought, this is diversity. This is him experiencing this person's home, the way they operate, the way they do it. And I really appreciated it. And I sat back and thought, let's see if he does it.

And Shepard did it. And I was like, she can't put any distance. But no. But if it's someone else's house and there is stops, then I stand up. But it's different to say, don't do this in my house because these are my things.

Right. And that is totally acceptable. Yeah. But it's different than disciplining your kid saying, now, listen, you need to control your body. Right. There's a difference in like, Like if you're saying, don't, I don't like this in my house because these are my things and they're special to me and I would like you to not ruin them. Totally acceptable. But if the person was like, hey, I want to let you know something.

Yelling is, it's just not like, it's not a track. Like, it's not a, it's not a good trait to have. Then they're, do not. Do you know what I mean? Then they're attacking like the personal character of the child. But yeah, if she's breaking someone else's stuff, then absolutely tell her, do not, do not break my stuff. Or even rules. Yeah. Just like when you're in my house, like he was just, I kind of received. expected it. He's not pussy pudding. He's like in my house, we sit down when we eat and we say please and thank you. That's his rules. I'm going, my kid doesn't even understand.

No, she's like, my household, they don't even know what that means. Yeah, they do. But I agree with you when it's someone else's rules, but they're not talking about your kid's behavior. Right. They're not saying like when you're on boundaries. When you tantrum, that's just not good. Like, it's not good.

Like they're not down with. I'm not down with that. Yeah. No. But it was. kind of cool to see someone else enforce their rules and watch him comply. I was like, what? I do shoes off in my house.

I don't care who you are if you're the queen of Shiba. I'm like, you take your shoes off. Yeah, take them. I'm dealing with your, I'm going to give you another thing. There's like, oh, no. There's like, oh, yeah. So I take my shoes on. There is bacteria.

There is. And it's horrible. It's like, it's like, it's like, dirtier than a toilet. It's so dirty. Because they clean toilets. I saw it. I saw it. I saw it.

the floors like that. You don't clean the bottom of your shoes. Or the carpets really. I mean, you do sometimes. Yeah, you don't ever clean the bottom. No. No. Although I did because I'm a psycho the other day. I had my like, you have like house slippers that you don't wear out. Yeah. Or sometimes you do. Sometimes you do. I was so like, I don't know, I was just like doing 10,000 things. And I went to go, I went to go get my nails done. And I ran to the place and I'm sitting there and I like put my feet up to get the petter and I'm like, fucking A. I. My goddamn house. Not because I cared about how it looked. No, because I do.

You couldn't wear them at home. Yes. And I had to go home and like sterilize the bottom with like alcohol swabs. I was like, oh my God. Because no wonder like, you know, no telling what I was stepping at. I panic. If someone has shoes on in my house and like it's like a party, I'm like, I just, it actually really riles. You have to breathe.

I just have to. Oh my God. I'm thinking how we're going to disinfect these floors. I don't even think of it. I mean, everybody takes their shoes off when they come to my house because our shoe. The first thing I do is take my shoes off and so does everyone else. But it's not like a rule. But when people see those shoes, they just immediately take their shoes off. You see someone's sneakers and they're like dirty and they're literally like standing. It felt weird.

Really? You know what felt weird? One time I was like at a thing and it was on a boat and I, you guys, like, I'm not very tall. And it was like a big party event and you have to take your shoes off on boats. You can't wear heels on the boat. Because you could scratch the floor, yeah. Yeah. So I literally was like I was the child at the party. Yeah, because you took off. And take off my shoes. I still scarred from it, clearly.

I don't like to dress up and take my shoes off. That's what I mean. Yeah. That's what I'm like a nice outfit. Yeah, it was like a nice way. You take it off and you're like, cocktail, you know? And I was barefoot and very short. You're like, that's offensive.

And you know what? That's offensive. Offended me. Oh my gosh. But at a wedding, don't you like to take off your shoes or do you bring a second pair? I don't get invited to wedding. I mean, you know, I feel like, yeah. I haven't been to, like, I haven't into wedding in so long. I don't know if it's like the time. We're too old for weddings now. I think it's like no more wedding. Wedding days are over. Now it's like first kid or now it's like graduation. We're getting so old. It's like my kid just graduated school. They're going to college. Like, me. Oh my gosh. I feel like we have been like we've been like the real like we're like the old mom like. Just like grandma. Yeah. Just shooting the shit. I know.

It's real, though, you guys. This whole thing, being a mom, being a woman, out in the world. Trying to work. Trying to work. Yeah. You know, all of it. Trying not to say things.

It'll get us canceled. Try not to be canceled. That's my new bio. Tammin, actor, activist, trying not to be cancer. Every day. You can be an activist and not. Try not to be cancer. I don't know I put activists up there.

But yeah, trying not to be canceled. Well, you can be an activist. cannot be canceled if you're like if you're trying to be an activist for positive things. You say something really fucked up but you're like, but I know if you're being positive like you know you're trying to like women's rights, right? You probably won't get canceled for that.

Right. Here's something you can get canceled for. Let's know. Let's know. I went to the zoo the other night. Oh, okay. Don't. You shouldn't.

So I went. I wasn't thinking. got invited by a friend. It was to see my friend's kid. I was like, oh my God, we haven't seen them in so long. That sounds amazing. So we went. And then there was protesters out there. And they were like, they were not created equal. They were really protesting. And Elliot, my son was like, what are they saying? And I was repeating it to him. And I was like, and actually everything they're saying is right. Yeah. I felt so shameful after going at the zoo. But some zoos, again, not all zoos are created equal and you need to know what zoos you're supporting because some do really amazing work.

They say San Diego does good work, right? Yeah. And like the animals are actually treated. See, I'm like scared to say. But certain animals wouldn't be around. It wasn't. L.A.? L.A. You went to the L.A. Zoo the other night? Don't like. But here's a thing. Wait, but it was like a night thing. Yeah, there's night. Yeah. The night trials and summer. I think the L.A. Zoo is actually pretty good. I think. Yeah. I think so. It's more about. It's more about. It's a bit. It's more about. It's a bit. It's more. It's It's more about like what they, so many species would be extinct if it wasn't for these, like, you know, being able to breed animals and, you know, some of these zoos do such wonderful,

wonderful things. But then there are others that don't. And you just need to, I think every, every dollar, as I get older, every dollar I spend, am I helping or am I hurting? And that comes through everywhere. It's like where you put your money. Like, what are the brands that you're supporting and you pay? Like, how do they pay their workers?

Like all this stuff when you're younger, you don't think of. And again, when it's more likely to. be canceled because you don't think like that. But as you get older, you're around a lot longer. And it's like, yeah, where is my money going? Who is making my table? Who is making this food? Like, where is it coming from? And I think that you can really make a difference based on how you spend a dollar. I mean, I changed my, I had a hairdresser, not the one that we were talking about before, but like years ago here in L.A. hairdresser and we were talking and I was probably, I had probably already gone to him maybe like four or five times sitting in the chair. And he was like,

I just got back from traveling. I'm like, oh, amazing. Where'd you go? And he's like, to Africa. And I'm like, amazing. And he's like, yeah, I got my lionhead. And I was like, what? Yeah.

What you did? What? And he was a trophy hunter. And I literally, from that moment in the chair, I'm like, I will never go back. And I never did. I never went back to him. I told you, we had friends. I didn't know.

Yes. And new friends. And we found out the husband was a trophy hunter. And we were out. Can't do it. There's something. And we were talking about this before. Can you be friends with people who have opposing political beliefs or belief systems?

And for me, it's like, yeah, I don't care of someone like roots for a different soccer team. But if your political views and beliefs are hurting other people, then I find it really difficult to be in that space. Right. Yeah. What about, though, here's where I have a hard time because I do have friends with completely opposite political views. And I feel very confident. confident and very loving about the friendship, like 100% solid salt of the earth people. I think that sometimes when people are born and raised and culturally and whatever their reasons are,

I can't claim to understand. Do you know what I mean? And so I'm like, that's something that they've learned that's been passed down to them, that means something to them. And I don't agree with it, but how can I turn away from a friendship that is so beautiful and pure because of those things? But the problem is, and I've tried to figure this out too, is that there are certain things that people vote for that are so harmful for certain groups of people that means that there's a deficit within that person's character. And that deficit might not show up in the friendship, but there's a deficit in their moral compass and in their belief system. Because if you are directly hurting people and a group of people that they might not be hurting us

because we are privileged in so many ways, but there is a problem. And they put certain things on a hierarchy than other things. And that means there's a deficit within someone's character. And I do believe that when you live a life and you meet enough people, you travel enough places and you don't even have to travel to overseas. You can just travel a different states. You meet enough people to have those conversations and be open to

having those conversations to understand why people are feeling certain ways and how this is hurting different. Like, my best friend is from Ethiopia. She was raised in New York City. She works at Stanford and I listen to her. I've obviously always

been an ally, but I've listened to her and I'm like, wow, certain votes hurt her and like directly hurt her and I find it hard to be friends with people that are directly hurting people that I love. And I think that again, I talk about like a deficit within someone's character that isn't open to understanding why certain things are harming people. And it's a hard one because yeah, we've got. But wouldn't it then go the other way? Like if you want other people to understand, wouldn't you then want to understand them? Yes, but do you want to ultimately

be friends with someone that is directly hurting someone else. That's the thing. Like you can understand them, but at some point, people change and they understand or they don't. And if they don't, we have to accept, and that's up to the person. We have to accept that that is a flaw within someone. And that is, it's hard. It's a hard thing to reckon with. And we have friends that are very opposing on certain things.

But again, it's a compass and it's a moral compass that you have to say, like, well, am I okay with this? Am I okay with the fact that the friendship is great? But like the hard hitting issues that really do affect people that I love, they're directly, you know, making it a problem for them. That's a hard one. It's a hard one. So then do you have that conversation with the person and be like,

what are your whys? Help me understand this. I think it's always an open conversation with both people. I think if we don't have those conversations, then we're stuck. Like I said, I think the U.S. is stuck. And then we don't get anywhere. Then it's the same thing. Right. Right. But I think at some point, I think at some point with the information that is out there, you can't stand on the side of the people that are hurting others. Like at some point, that conversation has to be open enough to go, no, I don't want to hurt these. I don't want to hurt these people, you know? And again, I talk about back to that word deficit. There's there's a deficit there's a deficit there's a deficit there.

that is lacking, I think. I don't know. I might be wrong, but that's just my belief. And again, it might be different for other people. Right. Do you have any thoughts over there, a little, little bilton head? It's hard. We have friends of all different. I think it's also, too, how they present it, right? Like, there are people, obviously people are going to have different perspectives on things. And it's like everyone's entitled to their opinion. It's some, I mean, I don't agree with some of the opposing things that people have opinions on. But, But it's also like I have like enough respect to just be like, okay, that person thinks a certain way. It might not be the same way as me, but they're not like in my face doing it.

But does it depend on what the thing is? Because again, it's a very different thing to be like a different soccer, like whatever. But if it's like they're really against, you know, the things that are happening to us right now. Like women's right. Right. And they're really against it. Then are you just like, well, or are you just like this will ultimately? hurt my kid. I honestly don't think I'm even friends with people. That's what I'm saying. You don't have. I know. Right. It's harder for people that live like on that fine line. We probably raised. Like my husband was raised very differently and he's definitely, we believe in the same things. But I think it's harder for people who have family members or people that you know.

Married couples that have complete opposite views. My mom and her husband. Right. Right. Horrendously different. I mean, vastly different. I don't think. I don't think. I could do that because I feel like that. But who's to say? I'm not in the situation or position or whatever. It's hard for them. It's really, really hard. Yeah.

They have very different. And they watch their different shows upstairs and downstairs and they don't, you know. Talk about it. They've tried to get to a place where they don't talk about it because it affects my mom. She has a really hard time with it. And we are privileged. We have to know that. We're privileged to not, we don't live.

a lot of these issues on a day-to-day basis. So, you know, we're privileged to be like, well, we could continue our lives, but a lot of people can't. And a lot of these things, like we're even talking about health care. Like being in Indonesia, we got seen for $45. And there are like 45,000 Americans that die every year from not having health care. There's 3, 30 million people who don't have health care. And we have health care.

So it's not something we, like obviously we can be allies, like you said. but and like try to fight and even advocate for it. But if it doesn't directly affect us, he's probably less on the frontal level of like, oh my God, we have to fight for this. But it's like not cool. Yeah.

Kids are dying. Like, you know what I mean? And because we're privileged, it's, it's, sometimes you don't like we have to, we have to do more, I think. I think so. You know, it's hard too with the political thing because it's like a two-party system. So it's like these ideas are generally supported on this side.

And these ideas are generally supported on this side. And it doesn't necessarily mean that maybe somebody on the side agrees with all those ideas. Absolutely. Right. Maybe there's one overarching thing that is like the thing that's making them go that. So that also makes it hard because I have friends that are totally on the opposite political aisle than me. And I know it's not that they don't want women's rights and things like that. To them, they prioritize the issues.

It's a hierarchy of the issues, right? Exactly. is that hierarchy of the issues, the issues that aren't important to them because they're privileged enough for them not to be important to them, hurting other people. And that is a character trait then, right?

Or like a moral compass, we'll go back to that, right? If the hierarchy is based in what matters to us most, like, less taxes, what about the things that are happening to so many other people that aren't on our, again, frontal low because it doesn't affect us directly? I mean, it would be nice if they prioritize other things.

But like it doesn't necessarily mean that they support. Right. Right. Right. Right. And also I think that you are educated on these things and you're very passionate about it and you have the information. Right. And I don't know what brought you there.

I don't know what brought you there. But I think that sometimes other people can be in their own life. These issues are not important to them because they've never had to be. Right. And so they're not educated. on it in the same way that a lot of people, especially in Los Angeles, are. We go to other places. Oh, yeah.

For sure. They're not, they don't even know what to look up and educate themselves on because it's not in their sphere. Right. You know, I think we all can be guilty of that, you know. Oh my goodness. I'm so. Like, you know, if it's like one of those things that's not directly affecting you,

sometimes I can be like, oh, shit. Like, this is something that I want to know more about or. But my friend, like in Indonesia, like she's my best friend in the whole world, names Ariam, she works in Stanford. Like there was a few times she said something. She was like, oh, no, I don't go to that place or no, I don't go there. And I didn't even think about it. And I was like, oh, it's because you're black.

Like, and she said, yeah, I don't feel safe there. And I thought, wow, like, I need to be, think, like, she's my best friend. She is the godmother of my child. And so back to that point is like, I find. it hard to be friends with anyone that would directly be hurting her. I know I understand what you're saying about the education part of it. But then at some point, do we give people a pass for just deciding to not be educated about it? Do you know what I mean? Like, do we just go, we're just going to accept you for like not, I, yeah, do we just accept people for not even asking more or

like trying to learn, right? You know? It's a tough question. It is. Sure glad. Oh, God. I just think it went there. Whatever we can do to like just try to learn and understand. And I agree. Like I'm not sitting here going like, yes, right or wrong. But I'm just saying that we need to have the discussion and open the discussion and listen to both sides. My husband's very much about if we don't listen, we're not going to.

Because some people believe certain things based in their own lens of the world, right? Right. So everyone does. Everyone. And we can't. Every single human is. only looking through their lens. And I do believe that, and I'm not going to get political,

but Trump got in because a lot of people felt like they weren't seen. And a lot of parts of America felt like they didn't have anyone standing up for them. And whatever that was for them, they found that in him, whether it was, you know. And I think that that's why that happened is a lot of people felt like, well, I need to, I need to be seen. I feel like lost or like whatever that is. I would be curious to like. like ask. Yeah. Why? Yeah. Well, that's the question I always ask is help me understand. Right. Because instead of shutting down, and my therapist said this to me the other day, which I was like, oh, wow,

that's really a good point. She was like, when people feel anxious, they want to check something off the box, so they want to shut down the conversation so they can move on and move on from the anxiety. instead of sitting in the discomfort, one will typically try to shut down the conversation. And I was like, that's brilliant because can we get more uncomfortable? And instead of shutting down the conversation of this is right, this is wrong, can we get more uncomfortable and be like, help me understand what your wise are? And like, is there something for me to learn? Right.

You know? I mean, we can all learn. We should all do learn, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But if we just take the stance and shut it down, then we're not learning anything. That's what I'm saying. It's like curious. I want to know why. Right. I want to understand. And a lot of people like vote for certain things that I don't think they actually understand the full extent of it. Like they say, well, no abortions, but it's like, well, then no IVF. Right. Mm-hmm. So do you understand that no abortions, no IVF? Because if it's, if it's, then no embryos, then what do we do with those? There's, it's so far reaching that. You know, it's easy to just like have this like, you know, yeah, we believe in this. But what is that really mean? And what is the fallout from it?

And what is the collateral damage from it? And what are the about the women who have miscarriage? There's just so much to it that isn't just like this. And there's nuances in every subject. So it's like, you know, trying to. And if you've ever read a boaters guide, you know how confusing when they are, you know, writing out these propositions. It's so hard to even understand because they're negating themselves within the description.

And it's like, you know, it's so for the average person, it's really hard for them to like, you know. I'm always like, can I have a cheat sheet? Yeah. Mom. Yeah, but even the cheat sheets, I'm not going to lie. I'll be completely honest when I was like in my early 20s. I used to just go down the line and check for whatever was in the party that I was down with. And that was it.

Right. And I was like, we're good here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. such blind faith. And it's not educated.

Right. Because when I sit and look at them, I may not 100% agree with either side. Right. You know, and you don't know that unless you're educated. But the truth in life, which probably lies somewhere in the middle, right? Of course. Truth in anything, it lies somewhere in the middle.

And I don't feel like we're even getting closer to the middle. That's why everybody should vote for broads on top. We are the next This is a political party You want to be in there. We really went there, you guys. I know, I'm like, can you cut out the entire show? The show will be 10 minutes.

It'll be 10 minutes. I know. I'm sorry. I feel like I asked a question. You know what? I think I know that. Because I want to know. I know.

But you want to know. And these questions are important. And again, I think that the ultimate conversation piece is just to have the conversation. Right. We're going to say we're a variety show. Right? Ladies like that's what we are.

But thank you guys so much for coming and talking to us again. Again. And we want to keep this ship going. Not the political ship, probably. Like we're going to sink that one, but we're definitely going to keep it going. Yeah. And who knows? People want to talk about it.

Yeah. We're going to expand. No, we're just showing that we are going to, can we cover all areas? All of them. But the funny thing is, like, you know, when I post on my Instagram, all the fluff stuff, it's fine. But I really talk about things that, like, people are affected by. Absolutely. Thousands of people are just like, thank God we're talking about this because I think it's really easy to lie in the comfortable. Right. Or talk about period sex. Yeah. Although that's uncomfortable. It's comfortable for us now. Yeah. We're like, no. I think that's uncomfortable. And I think, you know, politics, as long as someone's not like so staunch and want, like, just having that conversation. I think it's really important.

Yeah, I agree. Totally. You know, I agree. They'll never release this episode, Roxanne. Oh, my God. Love you, ladies. Yeah. Hi, guys.

Hi. Hey. So. That was a great interview. New. What's new in everyone's life's lives? Rob. Rob, since you're never around.

So, People will write us like, hey guys, love the show, be nice to Rob. Really? Yeah. Yeah, be nice to me. I'm like, we're so nice to Rob. We're so nice to Rob. Rob, you got so much love for being on camera finally.

Oh, did he? Oh, my God. They were like, oh, we can put a face to a nail. Oh, Rob. Oh, Robbie, love. Tonight's the night with Robbie. Tonight's the night with Robbie. Do you get that movie this weekend?

Nope. You don't get that reference? Nobody puts baby in the corner. I carried a watermelon. That's dirty dancing. Tonight's the night with Robbie. Same movie. Have you seen that movie ever?

Probably once a long time ago. It's such a good movie. Just once? Patrick Swayze, right? Yeah. Does he kill you? What do you mean? Kills me dead watching him.

I'm like that was... He was... I've told him. you guys this right when I I was a little young to be watching the movie whatever how old I was like nine probably I don't know because I think about Briar's about three nine and I'm like there's no way in hell

she could ever watch that but I had a bunk bed and I tore Patrick Swayze picture out of one of those magazines and he was taped up to the bunk so every night before bed I was like good night Patrick love him would you kiss it I couldn't reach the bunk bed body in that movie everything in that movie. He makes me so in love with him. He still makes me sick when I watch it. I was so in love

with him in that movie. Me too. Like him and that and Johnny Depp and Cry Baby. Oh yeah. Can you relate? Who was your first crush? Yeah, who was your first like movie celebrity actor, whatever crush? It's going to be someone super obscure and like. He's like Misha Barton. Yeah. I don't think Misha Barton. I don't know. What do you mean? You don't know. Think about it. to think about it. What was the first movie you watched and you were like, oh, I like girls. I don't know what the first one was. Well, can you think of any from like a kid?

I mean, I think of like Titanic and stuff. Kate Winslet? Oh, he's older. I mean, he's young. Wait, Kate Winslet. I mean, I really like that choice. It's a good choice for you. I like it.

Who else? I'm trying to think. I mean, like the Olson twins because we were about the same age. He's like in a New York. minute or whatever they're like. Julia Stiles. Save the last dance. Wait.

Like 10 things I hate about you. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is all tracking. This is interesting.

Yeah. Never ever knew this before. Julia Stiles. Or her, I think her sister and 10 things about you as well. The cute girl. She played like Alex Mac. Yeah.

Alex Mac. Yeah. Yeah. I know your era. I see you. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know who I also loved you guys? Was Edward Furlong in Terminator 2? Oh, yeah. Yeah. River Phoenix and Stan by me. I know. That was your, yeah. That was not your jam? No. I didn't love that movie as a kid. Like, it scared me.

They were going to see a dead body. Like, I was not the leeches. We grew up different. I just, you know, well, my brother, like, I know what you loved. And like, so my brother, like, lost. boys like he would always watch it. And I know you die for it. And I was like, I don't know if I love this. You were a little scared. I like newsies. No. I was really into Christian Bail in Newzies. It's a real thing. I watched Stand By Me and Dirty Dancing this weekend. You did? And Stand By Me? Yeah. Olivia was at a wedding in Maine. Which also, since we talked about dirty dancing, you said it was basically dirty dancing. It was like being at Kellerman's. I would love to be at Kelmermans. That,

place exists in the cat skills. I don't know if it's still there though. It's amazing. I have no idea, but this was like it. How amazing would it be if it still existed and we could go there and stay in the cabins? Yeah. Oh, I would. I can't handle. Listen, I'm planning something if it exists. We've got to check if it exists. You plan for a lot of things. What was the other thing? Like a Cracker Barrel trips. Yeah, where are we doing that? Like Joshua Tree, Soundbath trips. Oh, yeah, we're supposed to go to the Integotron. Why don't we do it for our birthdays?

Our birthdays are close enough. Whose? Mine and yours? The one that just happened? Yeah. The one that just happened and then mine's there. In between. Why don't we plan a trip for a weekend?

Okay, this is what we could. We could do Joshua Tree and Tegrotron are like together. And is Cracker Barrel on the way. Oh, see? Boom. How excited are you? How excited are you? Yeah, we're absolutely, we're going to document the whole thing.

We should have... We should have... We should record from... We should record. From Joshua Tree? From Cracker Barrel. And Cracker Barrel. No, but like, we're going to have a video.

We're just going to be... Like Blair Witch. Yeah. The whole thing, Robb in the entire drawing. That sounds like that. So good. Oh, my goodness. Oh, you know where I went?

It was so, so, so cool. Where? Salem, Massachusetts. Oh. Have you ever been? I have. It is so cool. I was like, I've not,

I've not, yes. It's a whole little witch town. Have you ever heard of it? Of course I've heard of it. I know you've heard of Salem, but did you know that it's, I just said,

I've never heard. What are the witch trials? But I think of the town. Yeah, I know that there's a town and it's like the witch town. That it's like, where they conjured.

Well, I mean, I've never been. Like the whole town is witchy. Like every store is witches. It's like, I mean, didn't do it as like a tourist attraction. Yeah, and I love it. Did you guys get out east a lot when you were younger?

No. Well, my mom's from Philly, so we would always go back east to Jersey and Philly. We would do a lot of, like, East Coast Civil War sites. Oh. That was our road trip vacations, was like, let's go visit Antietam and Gettysburg. Oh, my God. Gettysburg. No.

That's so funny. Yeah, we did a lot of trips. We didn't do Civil War. I feel like Cassie David said that Larry David would always take her at all the Civil War. War sites. Yeah, that was my dad's thing. That was your dad. To take us four kids to go see the battlegrounds of Antietam where.

How did that hit you as a kid? I thought it was boring at the time. Yeah. But now you're like, I've seen da-da-da. Well, now, like, we'll go back and, like, go visit those sites when we take vacations as well. Like, those are the interesting places to go to now. Are you excited to show Cal? Vincent? I don't think he's going to give a shit.

I'll hopefully have learned that lesson. But yeah, going back there now is interesting of like we went to some house in Tennessee that was where some battle happened and there was still like blood in the wood panels. I don't like that. I don't want to see blood. Bullittles in the walls. Yeah, sure. Yeah, it is interesting now as an adult. We went to some, there was some fort. I don't know what fort it was. but it was, the building still stood and we went and explored it while we were in Maine. And like, I was like, oh, my God, like, take a second to like hear this and feel this, like, what went down here?

When I was a kid, I was like, who cares? But now I care. Yeah, I could see Jeff being, like, super into it. He's the one who was like, can we go explore that fort? And we did. But then when we went to Salem, they have the houses where they did actual. Outburned people, like at the state. Yeah. And to me, I'm like, this is fascinating. Yeah. It's crazy.

Yeah, it's gnarly to feel the history of a place. And you're like, that actually happened right here. We went to the building where the telephone was created. Like, it's cool to do now, but as a kid, it was lost on me completely. All those field trips as kids, you were just like, who cares? I do wonder, though, if it influenced you caring about it now. I don't know. Like having some sort of basically. knowledge about it and I don't know if there is there some sort of nostalgia for it when you revisit it or the witch stuff yeah because I for sure was burned at the state there and at lifetimes ago

yeah yeah it does feel like that like weird crazy nostalgia and even when we went to the fort I was like oh like you can feel yeah the energy that feels like past life the soldier of you not like trips when you were a kid It reminds me of Phoebe in the episode of Friends. She's like in like a civil war or whatever. And her arm gets blown off and she's like, God, I'm God's here. Okay. Anyone who knows friends will appreciate that.

I appreciate it. I promise. Your arm gets blown off. No. It feels more like past life than it does. Oh, I remember doing these kind of things as a kid. I remember a field trip as a kid. They took us all.

to go watch a screening of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and rate it if we thought, if we were into it. That sounds like you just got... It sounds like a focused group. It was. That was our field trip. Really? I remember it to this day.

Would you read it? And you had like a button to do red or green. Like so obviously. Things you liked throughout the movie. Throughout the, yeah, it was like the pilot or something. And I remember the whole introduction. I was like, this is boring. It was like red because it was like the...

And then the whole episode I green lit it. You did? It's similar to Heart of Dixie, isn't it? I don't think so. What was it? Dr. Quinn Medicine woman, wasn't she a... I mean, it was like the 1800s or something. Same thing.

Same thing. Wasn't that the promise of Heart of Dixie? What? One was Hard of Dixie taking place. It was current, Rob. It was contemporary at the time. Why did you look like you were from the 1800s? Yeah, why did you talk like that?

I was in a bustle. I want a reboot of Heart of Dixie. Do you? Absolutely. Okay, good. Rob especially does. Yeah. That was my weird field trip.

We went to the mission a lot in Santa Barbara, and I'd always be so bored. It's pretty there. It's beautiful. Now I like, now I like going. But then I was like, I don't care about this. Did you guys do zoo field trips a lot? I don't remember I remember San Barber Zoo

We did the zoo We did the field museum in Chicago Chicago Natural History Museum Yep The Aquarium Of the Pacific Sorry that's the one here

I know I can't hear that with that Singing the jingle And the big one was medieval times We did a medieval times Oh yeah and fun That's fun That was like six grade Do you want to know one of my hidden talents

Jousting? Yeah. Yes. So you know I have no memory. I remember commercial jingles like no fucking other. We know. Still it, splatter it. It doesn't matter.

Have I done this before? Yes. You're like, I don't remember ever doing this before, but let me tell you something. Go ahead. I've never told anyone. Yeah. Please do. Go ahead.

Yeah. I'm not doing it again. No, you have to. You didn't do it. You didn't do it. It's been years. It's been a long time. Yeah, it's been a while.

You guys, what's my problem? Your memory. Your brain, I think. I forgot. There's supplements that you need to be taking. For my memory? Yes. Jeff's reading a book right now on Alzheimer's, and it's like there's so many things you can do.

You think I have Alzheimer's? Well, I think what the big thing for Alzheimer's is just physical activity, too. It's like being more preventative with it. I feel like going to cry. I mean, you might. I don't know what I'm saying. Basically, what he was sharing, though, no, what he was sharing was that the biggest indicator of a troubled brain later in life is starting to lose your memory younger, right? And you want to do what you can to give your brain what it needs now.

Do you think you're making her feel better by this explanation? No, I had like severe head trauma young. I know. So I don't think it's all my own. I think it's a combination of that and smoking a lot of pot in my youth. No, I don't think it's Alzheimer's. I'm saying we want to prevent ourselves from getting it. I used to think Alzheimer's forever was old-timers.

So did I. You did. Yeah, old-timers disease. Because it makes them most sense. Right? Yes. For so long, like maybe it's only within the past five years I corrected. I did it five months.

She's like within the past like minute. Just now. I was, ever think it was old timers? No. It makes so much sense. It makes so much more sense. I know. I was like, oh, yeah, they have old timers.

Yeah, they're old timers. We're not making fun of anyone. No, you're making fun yourself. Yes. God, I don't feel safe. Oh, I want you to feel safe. Okay. Go ahead, sing those jingles.

It'll bring you a sense of nostalgia and safety, please. Yeah, can you give us like a jack-in-the-box jingle? No. What other one do you have to say? Subway. Slip it, slim. What? The slim gym?

The slip it? No, that's my story that I always thought it was step into a slim gym. What is it? Snap into a slim gym. Did you think it was stepping? I thought it was step into a slim gym. This is my person. That's my person over here.

What else have you thought was wrong? Those are my favorite. No, we talk about this. Yeah. Oh. Well, no. We've talked about words that people say wrong. Yeah.

No, I'm talking about songs or lyrics. Oh, yeah. Lyrics I always get wrong. Always. I thought it was every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you. You've told, I know this about you. What about you, Rob? Have you forgotten lyrics wrong?

Not for songs. Anyone would know. Right. Right. You're too avant-garde. I have a lot of them, but I can't remember. Currently. I have so many.

I get them all the time. What is that about someone's brain that no matter what, they hear it wrong? I think it's head trauma from like an accident when you were younger. That happened to me. But what I'm saying is there are supplements and things you could do for your brain, like hyperbaric oxygen chamber. What? Yeah.

That's what athletes do that have had head trauma. They have it at Jeff's work. You go in there? Mm-hmm. And you breathe in. It's just your head, though. You put on this, like, scuba helmet. You go in.

You go in. It's a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. I don't know really what it says. Is it like when you get an MRI? No. Okay. No, it's like this big pod that you go in. Like, Jeff will go in and like check his emails and do his work in it.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I can handle that. It's like a phone booth. It is? It's like a big pod. That you stand up in? I don't know if he's stand up in it. Well, if he's doing emails.

He's probably sitting. He's probably sitting, but maybe worth looking into. Yeah. Sounds good to me. I can use all the help I can get. Yeah, me too. I'm losing my memory fast. I know you are.

Like really fast. Mine's always been gone. Yeah. Scary. Are you? No. No. Rob just can't relate to us anyway.

I know. I used to be really good at like if I've met someone. I will remember them. I'll remember their name. I'll remember where. I'm bad with names. But I have like a weird thing with faces where I'll recognize someone that I haven't seen in 12 years or saw on a random show a long time ago. Yeah.

I'm losing that ability. People will be like, oh yeah, we met here last week. And I'm like, not a clue. I've never had that clue. Nothing. It's like not there. It's not being stored. I've never remembered that.

Ever. I don't remember. Don't remember names. I even like question myself. Even if I know it, I still question it. I'm like, I think I said the name. I think that's the wrong name. I watched a movie this weekend that you guys should watch the trailer for

and we can discuss. Oh, boy. What is it? Oh, geez. It's this Norwegian. Oh, here we go. Nope. Called good boy.

No, Rob. That I would like your thoughts on. Oh, no. I'm going to go to be. Here we go. Rob, what are you making us watch? It's a, he has a pet that's like a person dressed in a dog costume. Oh, Jesus.

I have a dog. What the fuck? That's fucking crazy. What happens? Well, don't tell us what happens. Why, you're going to watch it? I'm not going to watch it, but I want to know. That's actually sick enough.

that I might watch it. It's about this woman meets a guy on a dating app, goes out on a date with him, goes back home with him, and he's got a pet dog, but it's just a human in a dog costume. This is the kind of shit that Rob watches on his weekends. Where did you hear of this movie?

I just saw trailer for it. You're like, Alex really fucked up. This sounds great. I'm going to have friends over and we're going to watch this. And how to go? It was fun. I mean, it was good. So you invite friends over to watch movies?

Yes, but we were watching the UFC fight. And then it ended very early. So then you're like, we're going to watch this movie. Let's watch this weird movie. So did you like it? I enjoyed it. Yeah. It's short too.

It's like an hour and 10 minutes. So it's enough. I didn't have like super high expectations on. the movie. Do they show who the guy is in the costume? Yeah. So should we just spoiler alert it? Spoiler alert. So they she goes and sees this guy and then the dog is there and she's freaked out and she's like, the dog's watching them have sex. Like all dogs do. Yeah. But this is a human in a dog costume. So she leaves, goes home, tells a roommate about it and the roommate's like, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Does she know, know at this point that he's watching?

Yeah. No. When she has sex or is it afterwards? No, that's like, oh. That piece of it's not super. But she sees the dog in the corner, like, watching them, right? It's not in the act of sex. Like, that isn't really a part of it.

Yeah. Okay. And then her roommate, like, gilts her and it's like, you're shaming him. Like, well, then she also realizes he's some, like, she, the roommate recognizes the guy. He's this like millionaire comes from a lot of money from some like famous family. So she's like, you were on a date with this guy. Like you shouldn't shame him for this. Like you should be more open minded, basically.

And convinces her like, all right, give him another chance. And then she goes and continues to see him. Here's my question. If all are consenting, do you see it as a problem? if the guy wants to be the dog and they accept that. That's how he explains it to her. What's wrong with that? He's lonely.

He has no one. Like, this is what he wants. But it's like he's friends with the billionaire dude? Yeah, they don't. He's his dog. Yeah, he's his dog. He said he knew him from school. Not his best friend.

They don't talk. He's not allowed to act like a human. She's like, he's like, whatever you do, don't treat him like a human. You need to treat him like a dog. But he comes out of the dog costume. No. ever? Maybe to shower.

So I'll get into the, I'll get into the spoiler. Like, they go away on a, he's like, let's go to a cabin, me, you and Frank. He has to bring the dog. Brings the dog. This is amazing. And when they get there. So the girl kind of sucks too. She's like, shows up late to their date.

She's like on her phone the whole time. So they set it up as like, you don't really like her that much. So they're at the cabin And he's like you're on your phone too much Let's like make this a no phone weekend Takes her phone And like puts it away Then they're like drinking and hanging out

And in the middle Like late at night And then the guy The millionaire leaves for a second And the dog like quickly comes up to her And he's like this guy's fucking insane You need to help me get out of this Oh no! Oh no!

He's crows crazy, you need to help me. Oh, no. And then chaos ensues. So the millionaire is the crazy one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like paid this guy to pretend he's a dog. Not paid. He's like kidnapped him.

Right. Has him. And then like the next day she decides to like. Me too. Take him for a walk. And he's like, you need to kill him. Like if you don't kill him. Like, I'm to kill the millionaire guy.

Oh, oh. He's like. You should just. Oh, got it. She's like, you should just do it. And he's like, I'm, he's too afraid to do it. He's like, I'm. Well, how does she know which one to believe?

Yeah. I mean, I'd believe the dog costume. But what about, what if the dog guy in the dog costume is a complete psychopath and is like, yeah, I want to be a dog. Because here's my issue with it. Why would the millionaire ever leave them alone together knowing that he's kidnapped this guy or whatever? Yeah. I wouldn't think that the guy would tell the girl what was going on.

Because he is, like, tortured him enough. that he has him like trained. He's forced him into submission. Basically, yeah. That's why he says he won't do anything. Sure, there's absolutely holes in this movie. I don't know. I went into a very low expectations of like,

this will be fun. I'm not going to, I'm not going to be blown away by the writing. I have an idea for movie nights. Hear me out. Uh-oh. I think that we should have movie nights with friends where we force them to watch movies

that they don't want to watch. Like, you should force us to watch this movie or movies like this. Even though we make you watch dirty dancing or whatever. And we make you watch dirty dancing. Like China's never seen the notebook. I'm like, oh, I'm going to tie you down, tape your eyes open and make you watch it. This is torture now. That's torture for Rob, the notebook.

Yeah, I think we should do that. Hold on. I think we should torture each other. Yeah. If we do it, I mean, there's a version of this could, that could be like the book club that we did. To your club that we didn't do. Yeah. Where we each...

Everyone has a book club. Yeah. We're doing a movie club. But we each take a turn. Yes, I know. We each take a turn, but it has to be, you have to watch... Something that you know the person wouldn't watch on their own. You have to expose them to things that they would never otherwise been open to.

Yep. Like this movie, we would have never even come across or stumbled across. Ever. Ever. But now I kind of want to see it. Yeah. But what's it called? Good boy.

Olivia, the next post she's trying to see. Okay, can I say something? Did you not see this man who paid, I don't know if this is the right amount? Oh, paid a lot of money. To make a suit where he looks like an actual dog. I forget the kind of dog. It's like a quirky or a long hair. Right.

He fully paid like 40 grand, 20 to 40 grand. There's a lot. For this very lifelike dog costume that he puts on and he acts like a dog. Just like sits in the park. Where does he go? To, like, dog parks? I don't know. Does he have an owner?

Like, does someone walk him on a leash? I don't know. We'd have to look it up. But I saw something about this. I've seen it too, of course. Of course. But it's... What do you mean?

Of course. Where are you guys... Do you guys play with each other on the dark web? Japanese man drops $14,000 on... Look. I mean, that's a man. Oh, my God. It's Lassie.

Yeah. Yeah. In a full, like... But it's not... It's a thing he can just put on. At first, I thought it meant... He was like that forever. And it was like, permanent dog?

It was plastic surgery. Yeah, like I thought it was like a full transformation. Well, aren't there like, there's a bunch of furries, right? Like, there's people that are really into that. Oh, well, like, cosplay, like when they're like. Like, fordies. Yeah. Or no, when they actually wear the, like.

They wear the costumes. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fetish, right? Yeah. So your question is, is it wrong if this man wants to dress like a dog? or even live like a dog. I think if it's consensual, then it's fine.

Like he's like, I want to be in my crate. I want someone to feed me. I want to go on walks. Like, I'm not going to lie. There's been times I've looked at my dog and been like, bitch, you've got it good. She sleeps in all day. She gets up. She eats when she wants.

She goes and lays down. She plays. She wrestles. We go out and work and provide for her. And she's just like reaping the benefit. You know what I mean? Yeah. She has limited brain activity compared to.

She's on CBD. I mean, she's got a pretty good life. I think dogs have bought us played. You should pitch this to Jeff. Then you want to be a dog. She wants to be a dog. He'd be like... All right, if you were a dog, what breed would you be?

Good question. Yeah. Well, the smartest dog. I want to know what you think he looks like. Like what kind of dog? Like what would you pin him as? Because we all kind of look like dogs in different ways. Like, you know how dogs look like their owners?

Like you're like a Doberman. You're like a weiner dog. Am I? I'm not a weiner. No, you're like a Doberman. I am? Yeah. Yeah, I can see Doberman.

I was thinking more. Poodle. I was thinking like a really teakaboodle. No. You're like a Boston Terrier. He's like a Jack Russell. A Boston What's the little yappy ones?

What do Boston terriers look like? Yeah, you're a yorky. I figured you would call me a yorky. What? Like a boy, like a kind of like a French bulldog. But a Boston Terrier because they're not French bulldog? Because they're not as thick.

I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think I look like a Doberman. I'm not like long. It's like a great hound. I think I look more like a pit bull. I could see it as a pit bull. You're a little rougher on the edges. You can see football.

Yeah, Yorkie for you, though, for sure. Thanks. Appreciate it. No, Yorkies are too, like, you've got more like a bulldog face. Like a pug? I have a bulldog face too. You guys. See, this is a great game you decide.

Let's insult each other and tell us what dogs we look like. Isn't that a question all friends ask each other? It's really fun to play about other people, though. Yeah, I feel like it's ripe to hurt someone's feelings. It's ripe? Yeah. Did your feelings get hurt? No, you didn't really give me.

Jack Russell's feelings don't get hurt. I don't really. I don't know what a Jack Russell terrier looks like offhand. Really? Isn't it the dog from Frazier? Yeah. Yeah. Does that help you?

No. He doesn't know what Frazier is. No, he's too young. I know what Frazier is. It's like the Wishbone dog. Yes. I don't know what that is. I think he, I think you're right.

I feel really fulfilled. by today's conversation. You know, we went back to the Civil War. We went to Norway and landed in dog breeds. What else can you ask for? Great recap. In case you missed the last 35 minutes. Rachel's here to let you know.

That's right. If you want a journey, hop on board. That was a headgum podcast. Thank you.