Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - A Sea of Soul Patches

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor talk about soul patches, matching with the love of your life on Hinge, and the star studded Royal Kingdom ads. Plus, they discuss how funny men manipulate young women’s minds and Siri’s crash out. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Go to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with code BANDC. Check out the SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at https://www.skims.com/bnc #skimspartner Visit https://gemini.google/students to learn more! Terms apply. Get Headspace free for 60 days at https://Headspace.com/BROOKEANDCONNOR. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 Hello Dolly 0:35 Intro 0:54 Hot Guys With Soul Patches 3:50 The Averick House Update 5:10 Connor’s Back Spasms 8:20 Matching With The Love of Your Life 17:00 Brooke and Marty Make A P 19:15 Squarespace 20:38 Skims 22:06 Apple Nachos 24:08 Cat Updates 26:25 Everything About a Man Is Embarrassing 31:19 Royal Kingdom Ads & Monopoly Go 35:37 Connor’s Trip to Mexico 37:55 Connor Gets An Assistant 40:40 Four Seasons & The Rehearsal Recap 45:00 Google Gemini 46:53 Headspace 49:50 Funny Men Are Manipulators 53:08 Connor’s Beautiful Mind 56:15 Conan O’Brien Must Go 1:00:01 The Webby & Golden Globe Podcasts 1:03:00 Siri Is Crashing Out 1:05:21 Influencers Filming In Public 1:07:55 Matt Rifle’s New Romcom 1:10:09 Brooke and Connor Get Invited To Cannes 1:13:00 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk by real California farm families. Hi guys. What? Sorry. Hi. Hello.

Are you singing hello dolly? Hello. I don't know hello dolly. You would really, really like it. Who is it? It's a musical. I'll look into it. It's not my favorite.

I don't prefer it. Oh, well then I'll email them. They don't ever show your face in this town again. You do know. Hello. Dolly, well, hello. You know that one? I guess I would you?

I do know three things for certain. Yeah. I missed this little patch. What? Yeah, well, one, Edward Cullen is a vampire. And we know what he is. Yeah. To say it out loud.

Two. Two. I missed my soul patch when I shaved. And there's only three hairs. What's a soul patch? Oh, that little thing. It's that thing of when you grow hair in between. your chin and your lower lip?

I don't prefer a soul patch. Right now, we're going to have to push through Soul Patch in tow because it's far too late for our boy, Soul. Why is it called a Soul Patch? She's a 10, but she is a Soul Patch. He's at 10, but she has a Soul Patch. Can you look past it? I'm asking you.

This is a question for both of us. the name Soul Patch for the tuft of hair below the lower lip is thought to have originated during the soul music area where it Is he can you look a hot guy

with Soul Patch just so I can see if like he if it's okay probably like in sync oh I've thought it's fine look at Zach I'm completely

fine with me but how about you? Well if you were to remove he does have a soul patch but he also has the chin hair and the lip hair. Right. So maybe just hot guy,

sole patch only. Soul patch only. I don't think that there is a hot guy with just a soul pack. What about that guy with the glasses right there? That? Is that Billy?

Bob T? I don't, I like don't find him attractive without the soul patch. So it's hard to say. Many do. I mean, this is one that I don't know the answer to.

Obviously, like, If they're perfect in every way, it's fine to have a sole patch. But, look, there's Zach again. Oh, so he had this. That wasn't Photoshop. Photoshop. Okay. I want to see if someone could Photoshop Zach with just this patch.

And I think that that first picture we looked at is probably the best, best option of the few. I like it with the rest. I like him. I mean, that's someone who could have started in Pirates of the Caribbean at some point. Yeah. I've literally always liked Zach. Like, there's, what can I say about it?

Truly. Keeps it. Yeah, everything's coming up, Zach. Yeah. Everything's coming up at Fron. So, how are you? The same way I was planning already

on bringing up, or bringing back. Sorry, thank you. Sun visors for men. Sorry. Bless you. Allergies much? Are you good?

Yes. Do you have allergies? Yes. Me, GD2. And I'm getting F's from every angle. I'm getting absolutely pounded right now. Jonathan also has a terrible asthma from allergies. So we have been back at the vet.

Have you really? Yes. Those are three times last week and once this week. Thank you. Do you get him like an inhale? We need a, we're starting with eliminating all like possible triggers around the home. And then if it continues, which it has, we will go back for an inhaler. Which he will not, like I don't know how I'll do that with him.

He's very. I was going to say, how do you give a cat an inhale? I don't know. But like. The same way you give a mouse a cookie, I assume. We're falling apart, the Avericks, the Averick household. Well, bless your heart, Mama. Thanks.

But in summary, yeah, we. we all have allergies. I think we all have allergies. Yeah, I, like, make the mistake I go outside and I'm like, oh, I have a small itch in my eye. I forget every single time I go outside that yes, your eyes are going to get itchy. Do not touch them. Yeah. Like, and I can't remember that. And then I touch my eye and then I swell shut. Well, would you consider taking an allergy pill? Yeah. I really need to go get my prescription again. I'm going to the doctor today. Very good. My back has absolutely turned its back on me. It always, has it ever turned its front on you? No. And it's gone now because remember it was the right side this whole time? I don't know if I've ever said that.

I don't know, but I believe you. Yesterday at like noon it just switched and I spasmed. I had a back spasm. Oh my God, that's horrible. When I got up to my apartment, that is something that like Mitch McConnell probably has. How am I getting a back spasm? You know? My friend's mom had a back spasm during the premiere

the last Harry Potter movie and couldn't leave the theater. We had... It was the midnight premiere, so about 3 a.m. We did to be carried out. I called my friend who's a doctor and I said, what do I do?

What stretches do I do? She goes, do not stretch. Just lay there. I laid on the ground in my apartment. That's the only time it wouldn't hurt if I was laying absolutely flat on the ground. No, like on the wood floor, not on like cushion, nothing. Yeah, after a while, well, I took two Tylenol extra strength and then I drank half of a can.

I was desperate yesterday. I was like, I just need like it to like not hurt enough so I can be mobile and go to like an urgent care. And then everyone was telling me like, do not go to an urgent care. They're just going to give you extra strength Tylenol. Right. Because they said it's like there's nothing you can do Well what about like a muscle relaxer? It's gotten worse today

I'd just sleep on my couch Because I was nervous that it's maybe my mattress Which is so comfortable But like could it be? I don't know I mean it could have been the Mexico to New York flight Yeah I'm sure that that was a trigger And then it could have been

I went on a run and I I I, yeah, you know what? I did some push-ups after the run. Probably did them wrong. Like, there's no way of knowing what I did to make this hurt so bad. I kid you not, right now. Like, if I move a certain way, it takes my breath away.

Like, it, like, cuts my breathing. Breath away. Sorry, that was a really romantic way of saying, it hurts so bad I can't breathe. Then when I turn. I'm sorry, Connor. What song is that? What song is that?

I could be your hero. baby that's what my nerve my back nerve my like Q5 spinal cord is saying the rest of my body right now I can take

your breath away is it pain away or breath away pain oh well it's not saying that I'm handing me pain on a silver platter hurt so bad so bad I'm like leaning weird.

Okay, it's just like a... I'm trying to think if I'm showing my age. Yeah, please. I feel pretty okay, like shockingly, like in a serious turn of events. That's really great. And really soak that in. Oh, here's two things I can complain about. Okay, good.

One, my tooth gap is supposed to be closed and it is not. So we're just going to do more imbezzanine. Two? That was one, two. Yeah. Let me give you like a little like insight into how the female brain works. This is something you've been troubling me. I don't know if this is all female brains,

but it's definitely the ones that suffer from some, some various issues. Okay. A few weeks ago, one of my friends was like, hey, I have someone to set you up with. I think you would like them. Like it's like a friend of a friend. She's like, I don't know them too well,

but like I could like probably make the connection. And I was like, oh, great. Like I am I am going to start dating so that's perfect. Let me see. Showed me's Instagram and I was like, I don't know. Like I don't think he's for me. Like there was like he was okay and there was just like some things that I was like, I don't think I could do that, you know, decided decided to pass on the opportunity.

Okay. Then redownloaded Hinge for the 50th time this year. last Saturday, which by the way, like you know how when you're on dating apps and there's those people that you just get all the time and you're like, why do I keep getting you? I am not for other people. Why do you say that? How do you know? deleting and reinstalling once a month.

Oh. So like there are probably people that are like, who is this and why won't she go away? You think that? I'm not for other people. You think that it's putting you back, you think that it like removes you from like... Connor, I'm fully deleting my account and then making a whole new

one every time. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Because I deleted. I will never do this again. Like you deactivate your phone number removed from the platform.

Deactivate. There's nothing left of me. Oh my God. I will never download this again. Download it a Saturday. You just gave by the way a community of people a really interesting way to get back into the program. I mean, that's like.

Also though, if you did, if you threatened to. to leave hinge. If you're like, yes, I'd like to delete my account. They're like, are you sure? Like, we can kind of give you a new start. I forget what it is exactly, they say. But if you accept that and don't actually delete it, they like give you all the best catches to keep your route.

Oh my God. It's like a lifetime fitness. Yeah. So do that. That's crazy. Instead of just deleting. I personally have to go through with deleting my account and reinstalling it because that's just my journey.

But I have done the other thing too. But anyway, I saw the guy that she wanted to set me up with on hinge. And I was like, oh, I recognize him from what my friend showed me. And I was like, eh, you know, still like not for me, I don't think. But like, I'll throw him a like, because I'll give him a chance. Why not? This was Saturday. He has not matched me back.

I'm going insane. He's the love of my life. Now that he's like isn't interested And like not match me back This is the father of my children Once again We've come we've come to the comparison That I make all the time

You are like When a baby is playing with a toy And then another baby picks up a different toy And it's like wait I want that one It's just like how didn't I see this before That he's the one Oh my God The wool has been pulled

over your eyes this whole time. Completely the one. You've pierced the veil. Will not match me back. I'm going insane. I don't know how long to give it before I call it and delete my account again permanently, never getting it back.

What day is it? So Saturday's Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I reached out to Miles, um, Kat's boyfriend. Because he had a hinge. That's how they met. And he told me that like he could take like maybe like a week or two weeks in

between hinge sessions, unless he was talking to someone cool, like, Kat, of course. And even then, like, he might not go through his likes. Like, he'll just go through the algorithm. The Algo. So I think I'm going to give it a year. I'm going to tell myself, for maybe about a year, he just hasn't gone through his likes. Does that seem like a good amount of time? Also, like, you can go through your likes.

You can also, like, scroll and your likes will be auto-populated in the algorithm. So. What? I don't think you get your likes in the algorithm. I think they stay in your likes. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I'm like learning a lot about.

They're in a separate container. Yeah, but like in the algorithm, there's like, there's people that have liked you. No, they are in your likes. And the algorithm is just like people that haven't liked you yet. What? Girl in tech. Woman in tech over here. Yeah, I know.

I'm a woman inside. An active psychosis. I think by the weekend, like today, personality is beginning to reenter people's bodies. Thursday comes around, hinge time. You think I should call it by the end of the weekend?

No, no, no, give it 365, of course, but I think weekend is a good, is a good litmus test. In the meantime, I'm like really,

In the meantime, hey, there are a few more likes in there, bro. I am. I still don't have any. I don't have one match. Thank you so much, though. And then my friend was like, oh, well, if you like him, that's great. Like, I'll just, like, reach out. No.

Like, if he doesn't like me, it's over. I never want to be near him. Have you talked to your friend and said, like, did she tell him that you were like, yeah? No, she doesn't know him really that well. Okay. But, like, well enough to, like, maybe orchestrate something. But I have no interest in orchestrating if he exed me on Hinge.

Yeah. And now I'll never know. And God forbid I'm, like, around him through, like, mutual friends. And just I know that he swipe left. Like, I'll be miserable. He's the one. Valid. Yeah.

Anyway. Oh, he's the one. No, literally the one. I can't stress enough when she first showed me. I said, not for me. White Buffalo. What's that? I don't know.

Is that right? I don't know. I don't know. What's you talking about at all? Izzy, can we Google white buffalo in many Native American cultures? Okay, so I think that I said this wrong. A white buffalo calf is considered the most sacred living thing And powerful omen and symbolizes hope

New beginnings and spiritual rebirth Okay This young man might be your white buffalo Yeah Unless that's inappropriate and culturally Not okay for me to say Then in that case he's not in any other case 150%

150% Oh well that's sweet I'm looking forward to updates there I will let you know It is looking very bleak It's been three days Did I just Oh I did just check five seconds ago

Yeah If there's been any action It's not good That's what I'll say It's not bad either It's pretty bad Yeah You're in the manifestation space

Speak it in He will like me back I know But you know what's going to happen in though. When he likes you back, you're going to be grossed out. I need,

I do need to go back to therapy. Yeah. Okay, well. Anyway, that's something that I can complain about. That's certainly a space I'm interested in watching. Yeah, me too. I'll keep you updated. Subscribed, seated.

Geez, well, I don't have an update near as interesting as that. One time I gave somebody a rose and I was so embarrassed, but I was like, they really are so. cute like I have to and he matched me back. I was shocked like it was I was in septic shock like it was complete shocks to the system and he messaged me of all things. He would like to start a podcast. He said you could be there too. Oh my he would like to start a podcast with you. I forget if he asked to come on B and C or if he said I think he said like I think what it looks like say I don't remember his name let's say it was like Marty or something

he was like what if what if Brooke and Marty made a podcast and Connor can come too thank you so much okay wait hang on in in that terminology that was a pickup line don't know why he involved me. I will say like if the podcast and you is involved in the first message, it's a no for me, dog. Understood. But I appreciate it. Well, like, I think that if he would have just stopped at, hey, maybe, maybe Brooke and Marty could make a podcast one day.

Like, that's kind of cute. I would, I, sure. I could have maybe looked past that. but it also like whatever he was saying after that I really don't remember but it was very much like the only reason you matched me back

is because you want to come on the pod in the Kelly Clarkson he wanted to be in the Kelly Clarkson like what I do not know but I mean you got to get to know him somewhere

I would we should have had our first date here first date on the podcast I'm just sitting there I mean I'd be dead silent. It would literally be Connor and Marty make a podcast. Connor and Marty make a pee. Oh my God. I miss him. I know. I'm obsessed with him. I miss him so bad. He touched my heart. He touched my heart if you can. Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures

of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you get can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross.

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Red Bull Summer all day play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. You know what's crazy? It's like after your updates, like I don't even want to share this, but like I do want to tell you.

Why? Like, so stupid now. Was what I said not stupid? No, it was at least like conversationally involve it. Like, I'm just going to tell. you something. We can move right on. Okay. So not important. But I don't have any groceries right now. And I was like so hungry like an hour and a half ago. And I have shredded cheese and apples. And so I made like apple

nachos. But I didn't melt the cheese. I think that's fine to do. Okay. Brooke. It was so good. Because like I would I mean, you know, not like a big like cheese girl, but like I could see cheese like shredded cheese and apples in a salad coexisting. Oh my God. I didn't even think about it like that. I was kind of gross out. Also, charcuttery boards. Sharkoutary aside. Like cheese and fruit is not weird. Oh, you're

right. Okay, cool. I mean, I really thought I was on to something. The form that you did is maybe like atypical, but... It looked weird. It looked weird. Had it taste? So, just so fucking good. Like, highly recommend really thought I was on to

like maybe a restaurant in New York like cheese and apples. Come come get like a, like a, you go to a stadium and you get that little boat. And it's like those those like. Yeah. Wafers. That's the crappiest notches you can possibly get like the circular chip with the like 3D printed cheese.

Like it's definitely plastic. Like communion chips. It's like communion for like people that watch NASCAR. Yeah. Um, I don't know what you mean by that at all, but yeah. It just came to me in a vision. But it was really good.

Highly suggest. I'm going to pull up our notes because I had some updates for you. Oh, wait. How was your weekend? How was, how are the cats? How are the boys? Aw. Thanks for asking Khan.

They're good. I mean, they are back to completely hating each other, which I was, I'm disappointed because I truly thought like Rob being sick probably had something to do with the animosity. Either like John sensed it or like Rob wasn't feeling well and that's why he like wasn't into John. But I mean, I woke up at 3A just to Rob completely clocking John like full sucker punch. And I don't think it's like playful. But I don't know. And then sometimes they'll like both lay on the bed together and like get close and it's fine.

mostly not. I only like will post a picture if it is fine, which is what you see. Social media is so fake. Um, but hopefully things will turn out. Rob is in good health. That's all I can ask for. Hopefully John's asthma clears up. Um, but otherwise they're good. But I just feel so bad also because it really like I feel like John thinks he's being replaced and he's, I can't. I keep telling him like you will always be my first point. You will always have that number one spot in my heart. No one will take that away. You made me mother.

You know, and that's just not a connection that you can replace. I can't stress this enough. I think you're putting this narrative on yourself. It's making you feel bad. I think that they're just like he was there first and he's territorial. No, Rob is the territory. one, that's the problem. Oh, that's weird.

He completely runs the house. Oh, wait, that's weird. Yeah, okay, wait, that's off. Yeah, like, God forbid. Like, if John tries to come up on the bed, like, he'll get immediately spooked by Rob, who's, like, glaring at him. Yeah, that's, yeah.

And he's always anticipating being punched. So sad. Not anticipating. But, um, okay, well, I think they'll get there. They seem like they're doing way better. They're, like, close to each other. At least you got to be close enough to someone. to like hit them.

Yeah. That doesn't mean you're close enough to them. Yeah. I want to circle back really quick because I wanted to ask you this. It was like a really good transition that I didn't make. Okay. There's flyers everywhere right now in New York for guys that are like, I am genuinely, genuinely looking for a girlfriend.

Picture of me, things I'm interested in, kind of person I'm usually interested in, like take my number here it is. Like I'm being earnest here or like people will make it for their friends. Hey, we're looking for our girlfriend for our buddy, earnest.

Whatever. Yeah. Thoughts, would you date someone from via flyer? Here's the thing. It reminds me of guys on TikTok that are like,

I'm looking for a girlfriend and I don't care for that. Unfortunately, I'm here screaming to the rooftops that I'm looking for a boyfriend. But if a man is to do that, I don't care for it. And I'm sorry,

it is hypocritical, but it is what it is. And so for that reason, it is a no for me again. R.E. Flyer. Because it's the same thing. Like, I don't know why a guy begging for a girlfriend to me is very different than a girl who wants a boyfriend.

And that's just like, like a double standard that I'm okay with. Okay. Okay. Because of the wage gap and everything. The wage gap, given the wage gap of it. Given the wage gap, I'm fine with it. Yeah. Okay.

I was thinking. What are you thinking? Well, at first I was like the same thing. I was like, that's so crazy and desperate. But then I was like, every single person on hinge and whatever, every other app, that is a flyer. they're just in a dating pool with everybody else I also think that they're in a sea of soul patches at least from where I'm standing like there are so many normal cute like single girls like looking for someone and it seems

to me that like most of the like single guys that are like ready to settle down and like somewhat normal are taken you know so there's like why can't you get a girl girlfriend. For me, I know I can't get a boyfriend because they're taken. What's your excuse? Is that horrible? I literally just like men doing what I don't know, like a man having a hinge is embarrassed. Everything about a man is embarrassing. I'm sorry. That's just how I feel. And that's maybe part of the whole problem. My whole problem. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to get to the bottom of this. Maybe you, maybe, you know what.

Of me? I'm trying to get to the bottom of that. Like, I want to crack this code, you know? Mm-hmm. Maybe he's just in Europe. I've always, like, to make myself feel better, I've always told myself, like, I will have to be, like, a one and done type of person.

Like, I'll have to find one person, and that will have to be the one because I wouldn't have been able to ever experience, like, a breakup. Yeah. So that's just what I tell myself. Is it like, it will just take a lot longer because the higher powers are just waiting for me to find the one and done. I like rear heads at now. This is sounding a lot more optimistic.

Prior relationships that I wouldn't have been able to live through the breakup. That is what I tell myself to help me sleep in night. But like, also like the older I've been getting as one does, I don't know if it's because I just like, I need to tell myself this to feel better or if I really mean it. Like, it would be fine if I just had a life with my cats and only them. I can see how people become cat ladies. Oh, my God. I really can see it. If you, if someone, if someone listens to this episode and just like clicks through,

you have gone through like, full blown psychosis on this episode. And there's times when I haven't said a word and you're like, well, yeah, actually, that's a good point too. and it's just you talking to yourself. Starting off the episode with he is the one I found him father of my kids. I'm actually fine being alone. Actually, everything about a man is embarrassing. You know what?

Maybe he's out there. Maybe, no, you started out the episode with, he's disgusting. I'm not interested in him. And he's like, well, he's the father of my kids. I was disgusting. I wasn't interested. I wasn't interested at the time.

I was wrong. I'm fine and minute I'm wrong. Given the information I had. Yeah. I blinders on. Did you see me before the episode started? I was just eating a sausage out of a paper towel.

No. Good. Very good. Very good. Okay, you wrote in our note page Royal Kingdom ads. Have you been seeing those? I'm so glad you wrote that

because, yeah, I'm getting them a lot and I'm getting fed Royal Kingdom ads that like video game that I've never heard of. I don't know anyone who plays. And it's like with mega A-list celebrities that are like hawk,

it's like Will Ferrell hawking tokens for this random app. The ones that I've gotten are Lisa Kudrow and Courtney Cox. Yeah. Which is an insane combo, obviously, considering. And then Mitch and Cam. Right.

Which like to unite those two duos for something. is incredible for it to be Royal Kingdom? Like how much money did they have they must have, I mean I can't even fathom because it's

like not something that I don't think they would be dying to do an ad for should there not be like a massive budget? No. No. And I still don't know what the game is and I still don't want to play it. Lisa Kudra being like we're under fucking attack right now like purchase a coin for royal I don't know what's

what's going on? It's the exact same feeling that I have towards that like mattress store theory where it's like, why is there so many mattress stores? Who's playing this game? I don't,

I would love to know. Who is playing Royal Kingdom? And it's so like, you have these like incredible actors from the most iconic sitcoms make a good ad. It's so bad.

It's crazy. Like, I'm so glad you, you brought that up. It's like really upsetting. Because like, I would, I would love.

to see. I mean, these two couples reunited, like, literally them just, like, shopping around and, like, vlogging it, I would be like, this is awesome. Like, I don't know how they managed to, like, make it uninteresting and make me not want to play

Royal Kingdom. They make me, now I'm angry when I, whenever I see Royal World Kingdom. This is probably a better ad than the ones that they put out talking about Royal Kingdom like we are. Now I kind of do want to play it. I want to be totally straight up honest with you. the amount of ads I've seen and I can't tell you what it is.

No, there's no, like, it's no, like, save the print set. Like, nothing. All I can tell you is that you don't need Wi-Fi. Right. You can play it offline. You can play it on the plane. Okay, that's all I have to say. Me too.

It's really frustrating. But I saw one yesterday for on the TV or Monopoly Go. And it was like Chris Pratt, um, Jason Mamoa. like all of these people who's playing Monopoly go where is everyone where are you all

when you're playing Monopoly go I don't know but like when you see me posting 18 ads in the next two months please support as that is I am I'm supporting my I have medical bills

to pay off you have bills to pay I'm about to because I'm assuming I have a failed organ that's now just laying dormant on my spine and that's what's hurting me so bad So I'll get in mind behind me as I as well have overcommitted myself and I have spreaded myself very thin for the next month as well.

Now, all being said about Royal Kingdom and Monopoly Go, if you need another duo, we're, I would love that. Oh my God, I freaking love Royal Kingdom. Literally. And I could play it on the plane. Yeah, you're on the plane a lot. So that could be really good for you. And Monopoly Go. Do you remember Monopoly Go was a part of like every happy.

meal they would put like Monopoly Go pieces. No. That is that is the most influence I've ever been by legitimately any like pay to play type thing. I was going to McDonald's every single day buying whatever it was and collecting these physical paper pieces. Oh no, I did not. I don't remember that. I think it was a billion dollars.

I think it was the prize. Wait. So sorry to like completely redirect. How was Mexico? Oh my God. It was so much fun. I didn't even get a tan somehow. I had one of those weekends where I was like, I don't want to get burnt.

So I was lathering up the sunscreen so much so that I didn't even get any, I didn't even turn pink. Which is sad. But it was genuine. It was my first Jewish wedding. Oh, really? Yeah. Mazel. Mazel tov.

I watched, I was, I was a part of the signing of the Cuba. Katuba, possibly? Catuba, of course. Yeah, I just, I shortened it because it's a short, we don't have that much time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, and then. It's just like, what do you sign?

Like, you're just like, I witnessed this. Oh, I didn't, I didn't sign it. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought you, I thought you signed it. I watched. Oh, but they said, like the bride and groom. It's like a marriage contract, right?

Yes. Of course, I was, I was watching from a distance because I did have an ad that needed to be posted in middle of the signing of the katuba. and the wife I was really bad, believe it or not, Mexico. It's cracking me up. I was over watching from like behind a corner. Like I was some creep watching the signing of the Catuba. Like, is that right?

Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen one. Oh, wow. I've never been to a Jewish wedding. What? I'm trying to think. Like, I have not been to very many weddings. Yeah. I guess my aunt and all.

uncle when I was like very, very little, but like, I don't remember that. I don't remember anything, but my brother singing opera. Well, it was like the most fun I've ever had. And I'm done with weddings now. I don't have, I'm not even invited to one in the future right now. That's so exciting. I guess I have one in October that will be Jewish, but not like, where? Philly. It's going to be fun. I am excited. The last one that I did was like a big flight, because I, I don't think I could do that again. With your back. Giving me back.

Argue. Yeah. I'm going to go to Oklahoma City tomorrow. I need to take like some one large sleeping pill or something. I don't know how you operate. Because like if I have an appointment, if it's Monday and I have an appointment Friday, like I can't sit back, relax and enjoy the week. I know. and now I'm sleeping on me couch.

My life is a movie and it's bad. It's a bad movie. It's like March of the Penguins. Like I'm walking out of my life. That's a movie. I'm like you, that does suck, but you do it to yourself.

I know. Well, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't do it to myself my mattress that I love. No, not that part. But,

but, but you're scheduling. Wait, are you going to get an assistant? I, Got an assistant. Seriously? Yeah.

When do they start? Next week. Okay. Awesome. I think that will make things like awesome. Okay. Yeah. If you guys see...

Why he's whispering now? Oh, I don't know. Like I genuinely was like, I'm looking at you on this screen over here and I like got closer to you. I was going to tell you something in your ear. Like, if you guys see this like reincarnated version of, myself like I've responded to emails and I'm like one step ahead of like imagining me being ahead of a schedule on something gives me it's like an aphrodisiac like I am so no not I'm not

horny for like turned on that's the word turned on yeah I guess I am horny for that I would love to be ahead you know like how good must that feel for people that are organized yeah that's going be you. I can't wait. I was going to tell you this scheduling for next week, because I'll be there next week. We're going to film in person. Yeah. And I can't wait. I cannot wait.

We're actually filming twice next week. Yeah. Yahoo. Look at us. And then you'll be in New York the following week, or no? No. But sometime shortly after in June. Okay.

The next week. So Oklahoma City over the weekend. and then San Diego with Jake and then we're recording twice and then Phoenix and Vegas over the weekend

and then Vancouver in the following week Okay, that's it wow, I thought it was a lot in our like, someone,

someone that is like working on an oil rig is listening to this right now and been like, I'm gonna, that pussy he'll be okay.

Okay. I've been watching a lot of TV. Yeah, me too. Have you seen what I wanted to get to. Wait, what is four seasons? Who's in four seasons? Oh, Connor. Wait, is, wait, who's, wait, wait, hang on, hang on. Did I post this on my

Snapchat story? Did you? Yes. What? I posted it. It's Steve Carell, right? Steve Correll, Tina Faye, Will Forte, Coleman Domingo. Like, it's, it's, Brooke, I posted this on my story and I said, I said, this is, I avoided this show like the plague because I was scared I was going to get the ick for all these people that I like because I usually avoid shows with a bunch of famous people because I'm like there's no way to show where you're paying all these A-listers has any budget for good writing. Un-effing believable. So, so, so, so-fun.

So you did see it? Yes. So good? It's so good. And I'm still thinking about it. I finished yesterday. I have a pit in my stomach. Wait, oh, I've only watched one episode

Oh my God, like Lord help me Finish it I'm watching a lot of other TV too Wait, it's so quick You can binge it in like Genuinely like a few hours A weekend Yeah

Watch it on the plane It's not at all what you are expecting it to be Connor Okay, well I'll sit down And really get into it actually I'll lay down On my wooden floor so I can Leave my back horizontal and flat And I'll watch the whole thing

And I didn't know it was based off of a movie. And I did? I've only watched one episode. Oh, the four seasons. But, wow. Like, you guys need to watch it. I'm like, I have a pit and that's all I'll say. Like a bad pit?

It's just like a pit. Or like a passion pit. I have a passion pit that's making me feel. Ooh. What do you feel, girl? I like, like, don't want to say how I feel because just y'all need to Okay, don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Don't tell me. Tell me. Yeah. And then I caught up on the rehearsal. Oh my God. Last week, I hadn't yet watched episode three of the rehearsal, which is the episode where Nathan decides to live the life of Sully, the pilot, from birth to present day, and completely embody him. And in order to do that, he does turn himself into a baby. baby and he does breastfeed and he does create like parental figures around him that are

really scary looking on stilts not both in their legs and in their arms that episode of television will go down on history as an episode of television that will go down in history oh my god like oh my God, I was taking pictures of the TV of Nathan as a baby like I was at a concert. My whole camera roll. If you were wondering what Cirque de Salae was like, it was like that episode of television. Like what is even, what do we even say about it? Besides, he is a genius who's so committed to his craft that you can't do anything but the thing is like I almost.

have like a guttural gross out feeling when I watch that show it's so uncomfortable for me that I want to turn it off and I want to turn on VEP, you know? Like I want to turn on something I'm familiar with but like it is like actively like an artistic piece. I almost think it's like he's like he's brilliant.

Ever. Like every time I think I know where he's going with it it's like one step deeper and like it's absurd. Him chugging. Chugging. Milk that's coming at such high volume. and pressure in like PSI into his the back of his throat and he's choking. He goes, oh fuck. Did you hear him say that?

Yes. Oh my God, he was choking on it, poor guy. I mean, he was committed to the bit. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to

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I saw something he said that really struck a chord with me of, like, he was like when people say, like, how do you, like, withstand all the discomfort and these uncomfortable? situations. He was like, I don't understand how people don't because like all of life is like so uncomfortable and like every interaction is like so painful basically that like this is nothing. I do think that he has. He has something. Yeah, of course.

Something. That's what makes him Nathan Fielder. Of course. I was really thinking like when I was watching him breastfeeding like he's a 10, but this, this. That's what I was going to ask you Like when he was a slimy naked bald baby Where you like oh this is not

No even then I was like I would marry Nathan Fielder And I would watch And if I was lucky enough to do so I would watch that and say good job honey Very good scene It's phenomenal the way Funny men

Are able to manipulate the mind Of a vulnerable young woman To be like Look at me I'm in a diaper I'm being lifted, like, in this naked, I'm being getting, I pooped in my diaper. I'm being changed on TV and you're like, that's my man. It's quite remarkable, isn't it? It really is interesting because if I, if I'm picturing like a female comedian,

yes, exactly. It's just like not, doesn't do the same thing. Like me getting my poopy diaper changed and then breastfeeding, like, wouldn't do it for a guy. And that's something I know for a fact. Personally, personally. If I were watching you in that scene Getting your poopy dypey change I would personally need my diaper change

I would be derogatory Peeing my pants laughing Like that would be If you were able to pull that off Right but you wouldn't be like turned on Are you turned on by that? Oh no I no that's a good point But like I am looking at it like in

Like with fondness Like I don't think like with fondness Like wow he's so brilliant I love him like yes of course a million times yes. Yes. But no, I don't feel like it's a romantically charged moment.

Okay. I mean, that's the question. Well, I guess what I'm saying is like, if I did that, that would be over. Like, she's a 10, but she's a pooby-dipy. Like,

everyone would say, no, thank you. Whereas Nathan, he's a 10, but he is a poopy-di-di-be. All the girls are saying, hell yet. Okay, for our next makeup episode, I think we should be transformed into each other. But I want you to be me with a soul patch.

Like, just physically or also like our personalities? No, no, no. Well, just as always, we're not even going to acknowledge the costumes. Okay. We're just going to carry on as normal. Okay. But we should be transformed into each other. Okay.

That sounds good. Okay. Oh my gosh. Could we do it next week, Izzy? Yeah. Bring your blue lights in a hat. Yield. Okay.

Dana in the house By the way all Let's hear it in the comments Izzy had a birthday this week Everybody gave it up at Izzy G She hasn't opened it yet We were waiting for you Oh my gosh

So we can do that later Like next week? No like after the episode Oh Happy birthday Izzy We love you Also this is a perfect example Of Connor making things like

So much more difficult that they have to be. Really quick before we need to preface what you told me last week. Like with the moving situation, how I was like, why don't I, to save $6, why don't I pack up all of my belongings in the boxes, move them, by the way, 19 trips to and from a storage facility. I'll get the smaller storage unit

because it's $20 cheaper a month. And I'll just stack the boxes 20 high. And they won't have access to my belongings. And I won't have access to my belongings And I'll live out of a suitcase For months on damn end. Like in your mind, in Connor's mind That's just more efficient than like hiring a moving company.

Than hiring movers and having all of my belongings move. You know? So I say like it really is remarkable. Like I wouldn't like I wouldn't even think to do that But like your brain like is able to come up with the most difficult situations and choose that path. thinking that I'm being efficient. Yeah.

So we were like talking about like what to get. Izzy decided on something. And Connor was like, okay, great. I'll go to the store. Get it because I can ask for it wrapped at the store. And then I can bring it like in two weeks when I come. And I was like, I could also just order it and bring it to the studio. I said I'll call the store here because I can go physically and person.

and then pick it up. And then I can write a note with my hand. And you said, I can write a note with my hand. Ooh, and I'll be there this week. And I said, genius. Like, you just didn't, like, going into the store was like, why? I don't know. I wish I knew, Brooke.

I really, really, really do wish I knew. How's the therapy appointment scheduling going? I'm waiting for my assistant to start. because it's been so long without a response from me. It's been so long that her response that now I'm scared that she hates me. Are you going to do a different one?

No, no, no. I'm going to have my my assistant email here. I'd be like, I just sorry. Connor's been in a coma. He's been in a coma. Now he's brought me on to catch up.

Okay. Because he's so far behind. Oh, Lord, have mercy. Have mercy. Have mercy. A lord have purse Lord have purse Let me look at

I have a notification on hinge, sorry Ooh, ooh, ooh, what is it? Who is it? It's a like from someone Like so scary Right I was also going to say that Yet again

I Montezuma got his revenge Right now? No in Mexico I was thinking since I'm not near the beach, like I didn't feel like I was in Mexico so much. So I did drink a lot of tap water, which is why you may notice I do have a bit of a John line.

It's because what goes in must come out. That's true. When you're in when you're in Mexico. What did you mean when you wrote Conan O'Brien must go? You know he's a new, Conan O'Brien has a new show out. Yeah, I did, but I haven't looked into it. Oh, I'm glad you're saying. I thought you meant like he, like, needs to go, which I would have fought you on because I love Conan.

Conan's a treat He's a treat And a half And he's a gym Yeah what is his new show He's essentially like Anthony Bourdain I mean

In the loosest Sense He's going places Like he must go to these places And he's like chatting with people And eating food And experiencing stuff

That's what I think it is That's great That's what he did with Jordan Slansky I've talked told you about Jordan Slanski, right? No. It's his like,

it's a producer. It was a, he was a producer on Conan when the show was around. And he has a, like a personality almost like a Nathan Fielder-esque, like, so dry and like maybe on the spectrum. Yes, yes, yes.

And Conan and him would make videos just like doing different things. It's my, it's like the best. thing that exists on YouTube. That's a crazy throwback. We did watch that. Oh yeah, we did watch them on the train talking about the bidet

because Jordan insists that you need to use a bidet because if you got a piece of fecal matter on your arm, for example, you wouldn't just be satisfied wiping it off with a piece of toilet paper. Why are we satisfied doing that?

I'm aligned. I'm aligned. I think truly America not having just like standard practice being a bidet is is archaic. He's so right. And barbarian. He's so right. Like it's so insane.

We would not be okay with just wiping that off of our arm with a piece of toilet paper. Why are we putting our fingers in our butt? Like in public. How do you wipe? I put my whole finger in my, no. I, you wipe. What do you mean? I'm not going to talk about that.

Why are your fingers in your butt? They're not in my body. You're in my crack. You made it sound like there was no barrier. Of course there's a barrier. Okay. Natural barrier. I didn't, I'm not saying I'm, I'm, yeah, let's move on.

This is like, and please do not, like, we've lost a couple of people there. I'm sure. I'm sorry. Oh my God. Oh, my word. That was nasty. That was like one step beyond. Yeah, it wasn't good.

George Lansing started it, though. Well, no, we talked about Bidaze. Bidase should be like normalized everywhere. Thank you guys all for all your nominations for Webby's. We obviously couldn't make it to the awards. Wait. How does those even work? work.

Brooke, I don't, I don't know. Like, I don't, I think we're doing pretty well. And then I see every podcaster in the world at the Webby's. Is he, if I, am I speaking out of turn? Like, did we, we didn't, we didn't hear from the Webby's, right? No, there's no way. You need to submit your work. Did we submit to the Webby's?

We didn't submit. Okay. So that's fine. They can't hurt us if you can't fire me, we quit. Exactly. Did you see that they're doing a Golden Globe category for podcasts? Yes. We'll just do submissions for that and said, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we haven't. That's what I looked like the whole time. Oh, my God. What? Evan just showed me a preview of what I look like. And I've been absolutely hunched over like an ogre. Yeah, I mean, not Brooke and Connor when a G.

that would be could you imagine or be nominated or at least I just want to go come across their desk yeah yeah that would be nominated for a golden globe there is no way

I think we should we should try for the webbies though maybe the webbies one day for us fingers crossed have you heard of the movie friendship with Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd yeah I was supposed to go last night

but my back spasmed you I think you'll love it you saw it Damn. It was like so unique. Okay. Like it's just like Tim Robinson, so that makes sense. There was like not necessarily any direction, but I was laughing the whole time.

So it's funny. Yeah, but in a way that's like, what? That doesn't seem like your, your type beat. No, I mean, it was, it was like almost like absurdist, which it was absurd. which is like why I was laughing because it's just you have to. I think I liked it but I'm not sure. I was laughing a lot

but when the credits rolled I said what? I don't know if I'm gonna like it. I mean boys that live in Silver Lake are gonna eat it up like a Snickers. Yeah that's see that's like not my group. Oh my God my one and only

would really love it I think. Is he in Silver Lake? I don't know. I do think I would assume. Oh my God. What? I would have said that would be my assumption, but I do not know. Relax and let Ralph's delivery handle your grocery shopping this week. We start with only the freshest items, then review your list and carefully choose each one.

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Oh my God. You keep making my Siri go off. Why? I don't know. She keeps lighting up. Have you spoken with her recently? Your Siri or my Siri? Or just any Siri.

Any Siri. Have you spoken to Siri recently? I just spoke to her in my car today because I couldn't find my phone. Is she like good? She's gotten like really. You think she's crashing out? She might be crashing. I really am like worried about her.

Why? She's like not working anymore. Like no one wants to work anymore, including Siri. She's not doing SWAT. The Siri that I spoke to this morning was a young man. Oh. See like literally she got a substitute. Siri's on sabbatical.

Siri's out of office. I'm serious. like I was like hey Siri what's the temperature and she was like I don't know she literally is like you want me to ask chat gbt and I was like no like you have an app on the phone I'm just in the shower you know like please tell me the temperature I don't know if I have Siri even enabled on my phone hey Siri do I have to unlock it first hey Siri that's the side that's the side button I she said hi Brooke Everick how can I help what are you tight how are you tight are you typing to her? No, I said hi.

Oh. She said, hi, Brooke Averick. How can I help? Do you know my middle name? Yeah. What is it? Why am I spacing all of a sudden now that you ask that? I've said it hundreds of times on this podcast. It's like the most white girl name ever. Yeah. But I can't, I'm like, I'm like spacing right now. Really? Oh my God. Hey, Siri. Google it and see if you can find it. I know what it is, but I also don't want to say my thoughts and then like have it be wrong. I actually am like very curious.

Hey Siri. What is Brooke Averick's middle name? Oh my God. I can't. It's Brooke Averick. Thank you so much. Like, why am I spacing? Do you want the first letter?

Yeah. H. A. Asia. Asia. Is that what you said? Brooke Asia Averick. No, let's keep talking.

I'll say it. I'll get it. Okay. There's only like one oh I have to shit talk someone Can we do it on the podcast? Yeah, I don't know her name. Okay, cool.

Awesome. It's gonna get back because everything, here's the thing, everything always gets back. I don't care. Just do it. I was going to an event on Monday and I drove there and there was one,

there was like probably like two open spots in the parking lot, Okay. One spot I could not squeeze my car into. The other spot, there was a young woman taking videos of herself. Anna. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good Lord. Okay. Yes. There was a young woman taking videos of herself. Her phone was propped on a car and she was in the open parking space. The only one that I could probably fit in. Sure.

I pull up. Walk eyes. I turn my turn signal. on, she doesn't even remotely think about stopping anytime soon. Is she dancing? Just like posing, like twirling, like lip, duck lipping. Yeah. I waited for maybe like 60 seconds with my turn signal on.

Then I had to turn into the compact spot almost hit my mirror. She watched the whole thing. Like I was in complete. disbelief, black mirror. Yeah, put that, go ahead and put that in the list of people up there with like, people that don't return their carts at the grocery store, people that don't, people like address right in front of the TSA security thing instead of like taking it

and moving out of the way. I would be so mortified. I'm mortified filming things in public, but like not only do you not give a shit, like you couldn't possibly be bothered to let me park. That's tough. you should have just inched your way towards her and into the video. I was, well, I had friends in the car, but I was like, I'll just hit her.

And they were like, no, don't. Which is fair. No, don't. You're so sexy. No, don't hit her. She's too sexy. But, like, I've actually been thinking about it a lot. No, don't hit her.

She's filming. Yeah. You know what? If I hit her, like, she would have gone viral. Yeah, I'm doing you a favor. I would have been doing her a favor because Lord help me. Lord, no, she needs one. B two though.

I have to bring this up here and now because I think that it's breaking news for you. There's a new rom-com in the works. The two main, the lovers, love interest. Yeah. Emma Roberts. Yeah. My twin.

And Matt Rife. Oh, yeah. Emma Roberts and Matt Rife to star in romantic comedy marriage material. Wow. Exclusive variety. articles, wow.

Oh, from BuzzFeed Studios. Oh my gosh, Emma. So is it, is BuzzFeed Studios like, do they make like feature films? Like,

never heard of it. I really thought BuzzFeed went under, but I guess maybe not. Well, let's watch the space. Okay.

I really like, when I was sitting in the stew and I said I would kill for like, a watchable rom-com within the next decade. You know, I think we're due for a rom-com renaissance. Not exactly what I meant. That's why when you're talking to the genie,

you need to be very specific. Right. You know. Hey. You never know. You there. There could be a really good one coming in the next 10 years. Right.

I really need to keep an open mind. But instead of like, immediately like, fuck this, fuck you. Fuck BuzzFeed Studios. Like, I'm mad at the world. you're all wrong, miscast Emma Roberts would have been amazing with and let me think on it for a second

Emma Roberts and got it who's that British man that was in everything for like Leo Wadall? Yep those two he should be in everything Yeah So yeah agreed

That would have been really great But alas We got biceps in the building And that'll do too Yeah I'll definitely be watching the space. Yeah. Are you going to watch it?

I'll watch the space. Just for the sake of old times, it's Can Week. Can Lions, the film festival that me and Brooke thought we were invited to about a year or two ago and we were begging to go

because everyone was being invited. And we said, we would love, we'd really love to go. We just want to put it out there that we'd love to go to the film. festival in the south of France. We'd really love to go to can. An email comes across our desk. You and Brooke. Brooke and you are invited to can get pack your bags. You're going to can baby. I'm texting everyone. I'm texting Brooke all cats. Oh my God. And we did it. We got invited to the

South of France. Go ahead and read that a little closer. Sounded out real slow. You've been invited to the opening of raising canes. You've been invited to Keynes in Times Square. But you know what? To some people that's just as good as the film festival in the south of France. Listen, if you've ever had Keynes,

you know that it's arguably way better. And it's a shorter trip. Yeah. So. And I have been the Keynes in Times Square. It's so good. I had a panic attack there. Well, yeah. It's Times Square. Well, yeah.

It was over-stimulating And then who else besides a DJ With subwifers Pulls up sets up shop Inside And then of course There's a mom with like four kids on Vacation and she's going like this

Dancing to every song Because it was like remixes of like 70 songs And she's like Dip it in a song You've been having so much fun in New York I was a little over-stimulated. I'm just sitting there watching, like, give me back to God's country.

Hey, I get it. All right. Okay. Well, it was really nice catching up with you. It's been really special. And in the bonus, we'll touch on many things. Love, laughter, the pursuit of happiness. And we're going to have a special guest in the bonus episode because my maintenance guys are coming back over.

They are coming back over. We've got a crisis over here. I'm looking forward to meeting them. AC went out, so they will be installing that in the other room. All right, thank you guys for listening. My AC exploded in the middle of the night. We'll talk about it in the bonus. Okay.

Okay. AC is such a bitch. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you next week in person. So that's exciting. Bye. Bye.