Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Am I Going to Get Audited? (ft. Ben Cahn and Emil DeRosa)

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

THE NEW WEBSITE: https://tmgstudios.tv  This week Brooke and Connor are joined by Ben Cahn and Emil DeRosa to investigate their taxes, tell their funniest weed stories, and listen to your voicemails. Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc Go to https://magicspoon.com/BANDC to grab a variety pack and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code BANDC at checkout to save five dollars off your order! Use code BANDC for $20 off your first SeatGeek order. https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BANDC That’s https://PROSE.com/bandc for your FREE in-depth hair consultation and 15% off B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book-to-screen favorites you've already read twice. Off-campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen.

Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. I will literally be high at 9 p.m. and be like, I have to cancel my 1 p.m. appointment for two days because I'm not going to be able to make it. I love that. I definitely have had moments where I'm like, I've really smoked myself stupid. And now I don't have any short-term memory at all. Yeah. Drugs are bad. Yeah, they're kind of not good. Some are pretty great.

Yeah, but, you know, yeah, but, you know. I think it's, I don't think it's anything bad for any. I think, you know, I think, you know, you know, It's person by person. I had someone with my car this morning. Okay. Did you see that, that guy said that, uh, no. Members of Parliament were, female members of Parliament were trying to distract them by crossing on crossing their legs.

No, I didn't see that. It was recently. But that's what I'm trying to do. Oh, in, uh, in the UK Parliament. Oh, and he was saying, I must have missed that episode. Oh, you guys don't watch? No, I don't know what you're talking. It's really heating up this season.

He's talking about Bridgeton. No, he was complaining. He was saying that female members of Parliament should stay home. Sure. And zoom in. Or maybe I forget exactly what happened. But I keep crossing my legs. Who is he?

A UK member of parliament. Oh, oh, oh, got to do the British voice. Oh, we're going to stay home. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. So our show is very anti-British. We won't bring that hostility towards.

That's fine. I do want to go on the record and say that I'm pretty pro. You're pro-British. Yeah. I tend to like the Brits. I'm pro-Axent. I love Bridgeton. Yeah.

I'm pro-wood and teeth. I just keep getting too many cavities. Oh. I want fake teeth. If I had a choice, I'd take up. Great teeth. I have two fake teeth. Really?

Love them. I got them done and I was like, do the whole mouth. Which ones are fake? You'll never know. I can pick them out. I don't think you could. I could pick them out of a lineup. I bet if you let me lick them, I could figure out which ones.

Hot. You can't. Even, you'd never be able to figure it out. Huh. It's the two front ones probably. No. No? Okay.

But they're not veneers. They're just crowns. Sorry. No, I'm sorry. Keep going. Keep going. I have five crowns. Oh, so you got fake teeth.

He's royalty over here. Yeah. What's the difference between a crown and a filling? A filling, you have a cavity, and there's like a little hole in the tooth, and they'll fill it with, like, cement. Yeah. Yeah. But a crown is your tooth is too far gone.

Like my two, I cracked them. And they had to cap them. Well, Ben and Emil, this is Ben and Emil. Thank you so much for coming. Hi. It's really in our mindset. Boys, men, men. We have our, we have our, we have our, our sister podcasts, our sisters.

We're the spiritual cousins to Brooklyn Connor. The sister podcast, if you will. We kind of cover the same kinds of things from... We talk about the same stuff. From crypto. You guys do like thinly veiled threats towards politicians. Yeah. That kind of stuff.

Same show. I think also to take a step back, the TMG umbrella. Yes. Yes. There's the TMG umbrella. And we are under it. Little droplets of rain. We're all...

Which some people worry that we had left because we started our own channel. Go subscribe to the YouTube.com slash the trillion hair. mindset always be plugging and always be plugging and while we're plugging as a group I'm going to plug individually and talk about our highlights channel oh you got to talk about the highlights got to um brook and Connor has a new highlights channel and what you're going to find on there is pretty much the best the best highlights if you will of each episode oh look at digestible it's smaller clips smaller clips fun editing fun editing fun editing more colors kind of chaotic really really fun stuff so I would recommend moving forward with subscribing to the highlights channel.

And that's going to go ahead and be located at Connor. You want to give us that? Yeah, that's going to be on our. It's going to be on our YouTube. YouTube.com slash Brooke and Connor highlights. We'll see you there. And we'll see you there. Look at the fun thumbnails.

Smash that alarm bell. You got to hit the alarm bell. That mother effing situation. Emil, can you let them know what would happen if they didn't subscribe? You're a little creep if you don't. Yeah. We don't fuck with you. I did not say it.

They didn't say it. Nope. I came here. We're going to say it on their behalf. Get your shoulder pad jacket and get out of here. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. No, I won't. And don't call us.

Actually, let the door hit you. Yeah, we don't care. The door doesn't like you either. Fuck you. Okay, so I think we should, like the intro. So we have been in a meal from the Trilling Air Mindset podcast on. This was an idea that was brought to our attention after we tried to piece together what, like, if I would be going to jail, like, if we really, need to do taxes, like a lot of people.

Right, right, but just money. We just, we just, like, sat down and we were like, this could actually benefit us a lot. Yeah. To talk money just at all. Taxes specifically, I'm curious about. You know what the best way to get sent to jail for this is to talk about it publicly on the internet.

Yeah, so on that note. Really bring it to the attention of the IRS. On that note. Say, I'll start really loose here. Say I've been a really good boy. Yeah. on all aspects. Like, I've been good here, I've been good there.

Am I going to get audited? Good question. Like, I'm a good person. Probably not. Right. No. That's not necessarily true. What does it take to be audited?

I think it takes, well, because I recently saw that they're actually giving the IRS a lot more money to go after, to audit people. Because if they go after a fund. Who's paying the IRS? Us. Oh, sure. Okay. Which sucks.

Yeah. Congress has to. to give them the money. Wait, so we are... And they've been cutting... We're paying Congress to pay the IRS. To pay the IRS to come audit us? Yeah.

Holy smokes. We're paying taxes so we can... Remember when Obama was like, look, we tortured some folks? That's expensive. You know, you gotta... You don't just set up CIA black sites for free. You gotta buy the rags for the water board.

You gotta buy the boards. You got to buy the water. But those are all right-offs. Do you think they're paying taxes on those racks? Those are right-offs. So the money that I'm getting to do... an ad for Venus pub hair removal is going to torture people? No, probably, yeah, but also a lot of other things.

Like a small percentage. No, probably a big percentage. But look, all the things that, you know, a country does, you got to be paid for. But to answer your questions. Health care. Weapons. Weapons. I don't.

War. So two of those things don't apply to me already. Which ones? Healthcare. Why? Don't have it. You don't have. healthcare? Okay, should I be announcing

like all of everything on? No, I think that's important to know. I'm not going to have health care in two months because I'll be off my parents. Oh, yeah. What do I do? Get Oscar. That's a free ad. I have Oscar and it's cheap. Okay. California. There used to be a federal penalty for having no health care.

Oh. And now Trump, the Trump administration removed it, but California still has one. What is it? Is it covered California? So we'll get a penalty. If you don't carry health coverage, you will receive a penalty. And you have to, it's on his taxes, right? You got to say on your taxes whether or not you've got.

You'll put, I did not have health care this year and you'll get. I don't mean to act like such a baby, but if you are like working for yourself, how the fuck would I know that? No one's telling you that. Yeah, exactly. I had the same issue when I. Your collar's up. It is.

Oh, please. How's my collar? Really good. I was actually about to tell you how good it was. Okay, great. I want to answer your question, though. you're only at risk of audit if there are glaring inconsistencies over the years. So like if you earned $50,000 one year and then the next year you earned $120,000, let's say,

and then the next year you're only claiming like, oh, I only made $30,000. There are probably anything that would raise a red flag to like, hey, why is this guy, like, why is it jumping around like this? Or why did he make a bunch of money and then this year it's off, but then the next year is up. He's thinking about all his red flags. But that's so possible with what we do. Kind of. I don't know if it's necessarily going to be

because of the discrepancy in amounts. I feel like it's like, they're like, hold the phone. Where did all this money come from if he's... True. You're not going to get on it. If you're claiming you made... Go ahead and knock on...

We put this wooden table in front of us today for... If you made $25,000 a year and you put that you're paying fucking $2,000 a month in rent, you've got a car where you've got like a $650 lease, they're going to be like... Yeah. Okay.

This is making sense. I have a question that's kind of related to that. Yeah. Hit it. So if the government and taxes incorporated are telling us to do our taxes to the best of our ability, how are they going to know if I'm not, like, if I forget like one or like 10, 1099 forms, how are they going to know that I'm not filing them if I'm saying I'm doing it's the best of my ability? Great question.

Thanks, Ben. Every time you get any form that you get like a 1099, the entity that is, the entity that is, Issues that 1099 also submits the same thing. Okay. So they're going to know if you don't submit your honor. So I've personally, for me, same question. I've moved like three or four times since like and so like I have shit going everywhere. All within California.

You've moved within California. And then in Texas I've been in. Oh, buddy. Okay, wait. No, that's important. When did you live in? Oh, my God, I hear a siren. I'm going to tell you something very crucial.

So, okay, when did you live in Texas? Well, my, so hang on really quick. And we may have to cut this just. for legal. I'll tell you, this is going to get you guys audited. Right. No, it's not.

Okay, well, I will just say this. This might pertain to anyone. So a state like Texas has no state income tax, right? So people from high state income taxes, like California, like New York, will escape, try to avoid their state income taxes

by claiming out of, say, Nevada, or Texas, or Florida. And that can run into issues. But you're only going to run into issues from the state. So like California might be like, hey pal, it says that you, you know, you're trying to claim that you live in Nevada. Yeah. But your ID says that you live in California. So the onus would be on you to prove that you don't live here. So like I had a similar issue, but thank God it didn't amount to anything. I moved to New York. And...

Weird flex. Thank you. I moved to New York, but that's also... a high tax state, so there's no red flag necessarily being raised. And my tax guy introduced to me the hellish notion of domicile. Where you are domiciled, you can... And let's dive into that word. I'm just going to guess what it means. Okay, go. Domicile.

Yeah. I'm thinking about 50 shades of gray. You're very brave and you're sexually, yeah. No, it's a legal term. It means where you intend to permanently reside. You're going to let them do the bit. They were going to guess what the bit was. bit.

Domicile, my brain immediately went to dolphins and how docile they are. And they're nice and calm. But then I started thinking about it. I'm like, this sounds like BDSM. I went to BDSM immediately. Skips the dolphins. Anyways. Can I ask you guys a question real quick?

Sure. Yeah. Why do you not have accountants? I kind of do. How do you kind of have an account? It's my dad's. Okay. That's an accountant.

It's just I don't think he's very familiar with like... The greatest way to not... worry about this is to use an account. Right. And they're not that expensive. Yeah, it's like 500 bucks. And I've always have saved more than I've spent. I was under the impression that would happen with the accountant. Always. I've literally been like, oh, fuck and I'm going to get hit with this. And then they have some weird thing. They're like,

did you happen to sell a car that was older than 2010? And I'm like, weirdly yes. And they're like, that's great. There's an exemption. Wow. And it's amazing. Yeah. See, I got clobbered. See, I'm just pretty clueless. So ask any of your friends who have been, like Cody probably has a great tax guy. Sure. Who could get you.

And once you're covered, you're covered. Yeah. Right. We should be doing that. Yeah. And then when the IRS knocks on your door, you say, it wasn't me. It was my creep accounting. Because they are equally on the hook.

That's interesting. I need someone that would, I say as always on, that would go to jail for me. Yeah. Your accountant could go to jail for you. I wonder if we have any, any like, entry level, like one year postgrad, people working in the IRS that are like, I'm going to fuck these losers up. I would hope that by virtue of the fact that they're watching or listening that they would not want to bring you any sort of financial harm.

I know. I wonder what kind of loyalty one has to their employer if the employer is the government. Right. Our next episode is going to be from two separate jail cells. That would be compelling content, though. It would. There are a lot of, like, Anna Delvey just did her. Right.

Her call her daddy out of jail. That's true. Why is she in jail? Who's that? Did you watch the... Really? Wow. You should.

Infiting Anna. Actually, don't watch it. It sucked a ass. Oh, I thought you said the call her daddy girl. Oh, no. She interviewed Anna Delvey. Anaddele from jail. Oh, big get.

Big get. Well, tons of big guests recently. Yeah. I didn't know she was available. I think with the right amount of money from Spotify, anyone can be available. Oh, okay. She could have probably. gotten Epstein on if she wanted to.

True. Now here's a hypothetical tax question. Let's say someone lives in California. Is this like you? This is a hypothetical. Okay. This is completely hypothetical. Again, it's a hypothetical. Okay, for sure. Someone lives in California. Their ID is in

Pennsylvania and they're registered to vote in Boston. Is that kind of raising any red flags for that person? Let me answer. Let me answer. Let me answer. I'm going to let you. Relax. It looks like you were going to go off. I said one thing.

I said, that's a specific person. I know. Let me answer. Let me answer this way. There are many different ways to prove your domicile, which is basically, yeah, like Emil said, it's the one place where you claim taxes. Yeah. The country that a person treats is their permanent home or lives in and has a substantial connection with. It's kind of loose.

There's like 15 different criteria or something. I'm pulling that out of my ass. but it's like where your ID is, where you're registered to vote. But it's like those are certain factors. But if you have, if your apartment is here, if you live here, if you, basically, if you spend, the place where you spend the most time is where you're domiciled and where you can back it up, like, hey, I go to doctor's appointments here. I've got the podcast. So true. So true.

So that's, you are domiciled in California. Okay. That's great news. But you should get your ID. Of course. Yeah. That person hypothetical. That hypothetical.

That person lives in California. That person votes in Boston, registered. Oh, yeah, Massachusetts. Yeah. Pennsylvania ID? Damn, that is a... That's fucked up.

That's twisted. That's crazy. That person is so... Hey, by the way, I just have to say, I know that this is off kilter because... No, let me answer. Magic spoon is some delicious shit. Oh, it's delicious.

Hey, they're not paying the... I don't care. Blip it out. I'll do it for free, but I really would like to get them to sponsor the show because I bought that stuff. And it's no joke. It's really good. Consider yourself sponsored. And there's protein.

And there's protein. You can get us sponsored? I probably could, yeah. We're having two separate conversations. Oh, sorry. No, no, it's cool. We're just over here chit chatting. What were you guys talking about? Yes. Oh, one thing about the no income tax

in, why? No, I'm not going to say it. No, I'm not going to say it. No, go. You got to make such a big deal. No, no, sorry, sorry. One thing about the state. income tax? When people get all like uppity about, I'm living to Texas, there's no income tax. They're making it back.

Property taxes are insane. You're not better than us because we pay a lot of income tax. That's it. Do you think it all kind of equals out, say, by state? Yeah. Especially if you are like, you end up living in like, I don't know. Kansas City. I'm not going to rag on any states.

All shit on Kansas City for a second. Sorry if you live there. No, shit on. But like the cost living, I've seen apartments. Like people, I tweeted about this and people were like, fuck you. I love Kansas. I'm like, cool. You're paying $500 a month for this giant apartment.

I'm in one eighth of your apartment, but I can, you know, walk to the beach. Not like I ever would. God forbid I go to the beach in L.A. Right. Sooner cut off my foot. That is also a hellhole, though. Yeah. It's not like anybody likes it here.

No. But it's sunny. I love it. I personally love it, really. But I'm also coming from Philly. Okay. Yeah. And you're from Texas.

Texas. That's where my domicile is. I'm driving home after this. No, you would be domiciled here still, though. Let's not get into the nitty-gritty of it. Just be careful, because California, the state tax board of California, you know, they pay attention to this kind of stuff. They do watch Brook and Connor in there at the IRS building.

It's a good get. So state franchise tax board. We luckily have a really great group of editors that are looking out for our best interests because they do want us here. next week. Hopefully. We have one question that came in for Ben.

Oh, that's me. Yeah. Yes. Where were you on January 6th, 2021? I do not recall. But that was a big day. I was with you. Yeah, we were on the east.

I know we were on the East Coast because flight, you know we were buying a bunch of flags and banners. Yeah. You know what's crazy? George Bush Sr. Is dead? Is he really? He's dead of doornail. I've been to his house in Kennebunkport, Maine.

He was in Dallas. When CIA was, when JFK was killed, he says he can't remember where he was. He was returning some books. Yeah, I bet. To a depository. I got a question for you. What's a depository?

It's where you go to return the books. Drop the book in? I don't know. I was thinking it's the weed store. I was thinking it's where you donate sperm. Oh. That's a dispensary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a question for you. What? Hit me. I can't, I've been waiting to ask this. What? I don't even know what that's that. What does fibula mean? Oh, good question.

Oh, great. This is awesome. It is just a word that I like. I genuinely like, I don't have a story. No, yes, you do. Well, I mean, like, it's just like the word itself. Like, there's a reason I changed my username, but it's not. But that whole, that's a good.

Story, tell it. Oh, yeah, I'll tell the story. Is it your, is the leg bone? And look what I did here. Oh, that's your, damn, yours is tiny. Yeah, yours is. For our audio letters only, Connor is showing his, his tattoo of his tibia on his fibula. Oh, that's just stupid one.

It's the neighborhood I grew up in. I don't get it. It's not stupid. What's the logo? Oh, yeah. Damn, your neighborhood got a logo. I know. Texas.

Your neighborhood got a logo. My domicile does not have a logo. No, mine either. I've never had a logo from my neighborhood. I grew up. up in El Dorado Park Estates, there was no logo, but it was, and it also wasn't gated, but it sounds nice. El Dorado?

El Dorado. Good restaurant. Did you ever see that movie, The Road to Eldorado? I know, but I've never seen it. Oh, it's really good. I would recommend. Oh, okay. The fibula thing, so, like, my name was my first and last name for the longest time,

on Instagram, and then, like, we used to go to this festival all the time in Austin, ACL, and we were, like, 15, 14, 15. and we'd go and I had the like Justin Bieber hair flip and to get through the crowd my friends would run up to me actually they didn't know me and they'd be like oh can we get a picture can we do like whatever and everyone around us would be like oh who is that

and they'd be like oh he was on Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel because I looked like every- You were on it? No I wasn't but I looked at everybody on the show and so they'd let us like go through like VIP and then I was like I should get some followers out of this because people would be like let me follow you on its room

and my first last name was too long and I was just like I like the word and it was available. Interesting. Yeah. It is a cool word. Yeah.

Bibula. I'm going to come up with one for me. But you got to find a bone, cochlea. I wouldn't do a body part. You could be the tibia. Wait, so I have another question. Okay. Can I please see your full head?

Yeah, I just got a haircut. All of them? Yeah. I've never seen you without a hat. So I went. I've seen him without a hat. Can we put on the reflection thing so I can see what I look like? I just got a haircut.

You don't have to if you... Oh my God. What a handsome man. I know. Look at that Sandy Brown hair. You're always hiding behind the hat. Well, this was kind of for the look because we were having money guys on. I was trying to give a Jack Dorsey type of...

Oh, yeah. Type of look. I was worried you didn't have a top of the head or something. No, he has great hair. He's got great hair. We have the same barber. You guys have the same barber. Dan.

I should go. You should. He's so lovely and so fun. Yeah? Yeah. Does he know how to cut my hair? He knows how to cut mine. Wow.

Mine's very specific. What are your specific needs? Well, so for example, like when I moved here from New York, I had the same woman cut my hair. I would just, I would just cut my hair. I mean, I only cut it like once a year anyway, so I would just, whenever I was in town, it would be like, can you please? give me a cut. So.

I kind of still do that. I feel like you could ask Dan those, that same thing. I don't trust anyone. And then you go and it's like, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but how much does he charge? Like 50. Okay. I pay 60.

You pay 50? Oh. He just kind of says whatever. And then I'll tip to like 70. Because sometimes people are like, I know this guy in LA, blah, blah, blah. And then I look him up. And it's like, $120 for a haircut. And I'm like, no, Dan is like not very bougie.

Ah, okay. But. It's a great time. I went to Dan two weeks ago, and then I went to this event for Madewell. They just opened a store for men on Abbott Kinney. I like how you looked at us like, for men. I was like for men because it looks like you guys. Oh, is it not a men's company?

No, they just started men's. They have like two stores, like one in Brooklyn or something. It sounds like a men's company. Close for boys. That's Oshkosh-Bogosh or thing, you know. But they just opened the store and I went and they were like, oh, you signed up for a haircut. I was like, I just got a haircut. I was like, whatever.

Like, it can't hurt. The guy's like this cool looking, like, bleach, platinum hair tattoos all over, and I'm like, I'm not going to say no to him. So, like, sat down and I was like, um, I kind of just got a haircut, but if you could clean it up a little bit, I hear that buzz on the back of my head. And I go, okay, well, I'm not going to, I'm certainly not stopping the man with the pair of scissors in his hand from doing whatever you want. So I let him do whatever he wants.

The shortest has been two and a half years, but. Those type of guys give everybody the same haircut. They give them like just the real tight and then like, oh, I'm going to put some pomade in it and like do the fucking thing. Your hair doesn't look tight. You know that, you know, you know, you know when you go in, I don't look tight to you? No. You look tight to me, pal. Thanks.

Real freak. Real tight. Don't touch me. Ben, that's just kind of a mean you think, pal. You know when the barber or the person that cuts your hair like does it and they do it and you're like, let's effing go. Like this is what this is me Like this is what I'm gonna look like every day And then you wake up the next year and you're like

How the fuck did he do that? Did they do that? In a good way or about it? Bad, like I'll never be able to do what No, no, no, no, leave. Never happens to me. I always hate it. Because every time I go to, actually I'm not even going to say her name Because if I go back to New York and I can't get in

Because all these clowns know about her But every time I go She's the absolute best. Oh man, and one time the first what? What is the problem? Am I talking too much? On the show where you're supposed to talk to it? I thought that they were like doing this to like get us back on topic.

You're so obsessed with the thing. I love the outline. I love the outline. And then we had one episode where you were to, and you said, I'm not going to worry about the outline. Yeah, you're right. You're just supposed to talk. Talk about the lady who cuts your hair.

No, because now I don't want to. You get me so frustrated. I want to hear Emil. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like when you're a kid and someone cuts you off. Speaking. No, everyone wants to hear it. But you were saying I don't want anybody to know about my hair lady.

I'm not going to tell her name. I'm not going to give out her handle. Speaking of your hair. Yeah. I've been working on diversifying my investment portfolio. So what do you think happens after you die? After you die? Yeah. Nothing.

With your money? No, just like. Or in general. In general. I think it's just darkness. I think people make too big of a deal about it. Well, I was just thinking you kind of look like Jesus. You're not scared of death at all?

With his hair. I wouldn't, you know, I think that you, People act like you know that you're dead. I don't want to go through a long, drawn-out, like, horrible disease. I didn't mean that was just supposed to be like a nice. I'm afraid of little transition to get out of here. I'm afraid of my health failing. Like, that's a big fear of, like, you know, I would be very upset.

I like that shirt. If that happened. This is nice. Where is this from? Connor, I'm... Do you see what I have to deal with? Can I get a roll of decks? Oh, it's Patagonia.

It's really painful. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, because I'm going to flip the tape. I didn't do anything. I mean, oh, I am. I am so honored that you're experiencing. Is anything empty and throwable? Amil, please keep telling me about your fear of a painful health failure.

Yeah, it's not worth it. No, no, no, we're listening. We are listening. There's two of them, and I'm going to freak out. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wait, so you're afraid of pain? No, no, no, why don't you tell Connor about your...

He just said... I'm listening. No, no, because you got pissed because I said, oh, I'm going to say something about state income taxes and you were like, but you're... Let me answer. Looking at each other's tags, well, I'm telling her about losing my health failing.

I was listening. This is a light and fun podcast. I don't think that the after... You asked the question. I was just moving on. You guys are both dead. Tone policing. Here's a whole thing for me.

No, because I didn't finish. I'm going to tell Brooke. Thanks. And if I hear one peep, Quiet on set while Emil talks about dying. I'm going to unplug my headset. I'm going to run to the restroom.

Oh, are you serious? You're serious? No, because you go. Let him go. Let him go. Let him go. I'll save it. I'll tell him what comes back. Wait, wait, watch. Watch what we're going to do.

I'm going to open up his camera. Text his X. Wait, wait, wait. Text his X. We're just going to rapid fire. And for our audio listeners, only Ben has taken Connor's phone and his rapid-firing photos on the device. Okay.

I was sitting here and he just said, that's a nice shirt. What kind of shirt is that? I do think it was. I do think it was Connor. It's more egregious. I can tell you it was a meal. It was more egregious. Is this what he does to you?

Yeah. Well, it's a little, yeah, I think we both interrupt each other, but I'm, my interrupting is coming from a place of trying to get a word in. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, right. Right. So I am sympathetic to you and I'm standing with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I ask you a question? No. I think it'd be cool. Brooke, do you do any investing? Have you? I think I do, Connor. You do? I honestly think so.

Okay. Is it through your money guy? So what's happened is that my uncle is now my money guy. Gotcha. And so are you Italian? No, Jewish. You got a, oh, okay. Same thing. Jewish on the East Coast of Italia. Yeah, yeah. And so my uncle has it, and what he's doing with it is his business. Wait, is he like a sort of... He's a finance. Okay, great.

Yeah, good job. Keep it in the family. Keep it in the family, yeah. I think it could be cool for people that... So I think of investing like gambling, and it's, if I don't think about it like that, it's not fun to me and I don't really want anything to do with it. Trading is often like gambling. Gambling.

Investing is not... investing. I'm not talking like long term. If you're investing in crap, then it can be a lot like gambling. Because if you invested in a lot of these growth stocks over the last six months, you are for hook. There's a way to invest that's not very risky. So can you, thank you. Can you dumb it down? I bet there's a lot of people here that are listening that are like, I have zero like no skin in the game. And what I would tell to those people is you're going to want to go to YouTube.com slash trillion your message.

We got everything you need. Give them one little like, what's it? Easter egg as like something that'd be like a fun thing to invest in. Here's an Easter egg. Okay. Stealing is, it's scary, but it's not hard. And what a lot of people don't realize is you can just do it. And oftentimes, what? Are you talking about shoplifting?

Yeah. Or stealing other things. Huh. Okay. Yeah. I would, I don't advocate. One time we went to, I was back for Christmas and we went to a Whole Foods and we were killing time before dinner and we were all hungry

and, you know, they're huge and my dad and my brother went off and I just, and it was wintertime. I had my big fucking puffer coat with all the pockets and I stuck a bunch of stuff in my pockets and then we'll get out. You can steal from Whole Foods now because it's owned by Amazon. I stole one thing, one time and cried about it

for six days and it was just one band-aid because I had a blister. One, I opened, I went to CVS, opened the box of band-aids, took one band-aid and laughed and then cried about it. I took a dollar from my mom's purse and I cried to her about it. Yeah. I was so, I felt so guilty.

Yeah, the guilt is just, it's not worth it for me. I have a lot of guilt, but not with shoplifting from Megacorpse. What's your guilt? I have a lot of guilt. What's something I felt guilty about that? I don't think I've experienced your guilt. You must not be that guilty if you can't. I flicked someone off the other day while I was driving.

You shouldn't do that, especially in L.A. You never know who you're flipping on. And because he honked at me and something about horns that I just, that I stand by is, I think horn should be regulated. Hang on, I don't know how to avoid that. I don't think everyone should have a horn. Okay. I think that you should have to take a test.

And if you show signs of hornyness, psychopathy, too much, like a level of horniness would equal psycho. Right. But I think if like you, you, like, this guy needs some relief. Yeah, I think like, and it pissed me off and I flicked him off. And he, he was like, like, like, waved to me. And I was like, wow, I feel like, you know, I could know this person. It was right by dialogue, cafe in West Hollywood.

Do you have a temper? Me? Yeah. Not really, no. I don't either. But I flicked them off and I thought about it. Like I lost sleep about it. I've been getting beeped out a lot recently because I've been so obsessed with picking my, like, every little inch of my skin in my mirror.

Inch of your skin? Just like popping anything, like seeing what's, you know, just like every pore. And then when people beep at me, it's just like, babe, I'm busy. You know? It's like... I'm gonna say I'm not on your side of the phone. Oh, really?

I do like when people go when the light is green. For me, it's just like I'm doing something. Sure. Yeah. It's not as bad. When I see someone on their phone,

I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, me too, dog. Hey! Fote your phone number. Selfie. Yeah. It's pretty tight being on your phone while you drive.

No. I will say... Yeah, it is. We've all gotten much better at it. It was quite dangerous in the beginning. Everyone's doing it. We're evolving to know how to. I think, like, especially in L.A.,

if you're going under 10 miles per hour, it's fine. You should legally be allowed to be on your phone. I feel like that's more dangerous. Really? When you're at cruising speed, like, nothing's going to come up. But when I'm like, when I'm doing the 10 miles an hour thing, it's like, oh, someone's going to stop. And that's when I go, oh, sorry, everybody.

It's probably more likely to get in an accident, but less likely to kill you. I got in two accidents. Two accidents at the Long Beach Town Center in and out drive-through. I was high and not paying attention. I left, yes, and I left my foot. I left my foot off the break and I tapped the person in front of me and it happened on two separate occasions. And on one of the occasions, the woman driving the car tried to claim injury.

How dare she? We got her. She said that it gave her whiplash in her neck and so did her passenger. It exacerbated existing back issues. There was a whole rigmarole with the insurance companies and stuff. And then we got her. with one question. How far, ma'am, how far behind your car do you estimate Mr. Kahn's car was?

And she said, I don't know, maybe a foot. And that got her because you could not accelerate, you could not accelerate fast enough with 12 inches of space to hit your car with enough force to cause trauma. And the case was dropped. Whoa. We specifically said the boats at Magic Mountain bump you with more. You're ready for it when I'm on the boat That's true

Is driving high technically legal? Oh no No you get a DY That's driving under the influence Yes Okay Yes Okay

And it's also dangerous because pot is so So strong these days Sure is Freckin 50% THC Get the fuck out I was getting so much hate Last episode because I was talking about How I greened out

What's greening out? Like blacking out But with weed Which from my experience It's just like Having like a severe panic attack and also get sick. I feel like I like made myself throw up from it.

They ruined weed. It was such a fun thing. Yeah. And then they legalized it. I didn't know. And now it's all. Just hold on. And now it's all made in a see that's it.

You just got to say just just. No, no. I get it. And I can't even remember because it's like I know. I mean, it's in the middle of a fucking thing. The weed is stronger. Oh, well actually. Weed is stronger.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was just going to say, I didn't. I've got you, Emil. One second. I didn't know they made it stronger.

That's all I was going to say. So I'm going to tell you what I told my preschoolers. Lock it in your brain. I have ADHD. Lock? Thank you. Thank you, Brooke. Oh, sure.

He interrupts me sometimes, but he gets a free pass. I have to stare at the ground and not think so I don't lose my one thought that I had. I just didn't know that they made it stronger because I remember ice school. Oh, he's just going to go for it. I used to smoke. He's just going to go for it. What is my act of listening? This is how.

conversations go. No, it's not. Usually you let someone finish the thought they were... First time I've talked in 10 minutes, which just now. You let someone finish the thought they were in the middle of. And it doesn't go, well, that person started talking, so we're on them now. We do be strong these days, though. It was so fun, and it got legalized, and then all of a sudden they're making it in labs.

It's no longer, like, grown in your uncle's backyard, and they're like, let's just turn the dial up on this, and it sucks. Every time I smoke, I'm like, I feel horrible. I'm so scared. Don't fucking do it to me. I'm just looking at it. Don't even look at them. I'm just looking at it. Look at me and Brooke.

And yeah, I always feel like I'm going to shit my pants for some reason. It feels horrible. I'm feeling that way too. Have you heard about Dadgrass though? No, tell me about Dadgrass. I wouldn't dare sponsor them. If you want that, you got to call us, Dadgrass. Dadgrass is like, a lot of companies are doing it.

It's intentionally like shitty weed, which is like. That's my idea. Well, they'd already beat you do it. Every time I go to the dispenser, I'm like, give me the weakest shit you got. So now companies are like specifically. marketing themselves as, hey, this will not ruin your night. Yeah. Wow.

So great. We don't smoke weed, though. And this podcast is brought to you by DadGrav. But getting a little high? Great. We love it. But I was just like really, people were coming for me because it was 10 milligrams that did it for me. And they were like, if you think if 10 milligrams is going to get you, then like you should not be smoking weed.

One time. And this is a long, is it a. No, we're not interrupting. We're just letting you. Just actively listening over here. So we went to... I think we just have more bite-sized thoughts that everyone can contribute to

instead of theories and stories. Sorry for being intellectuals over here. You should be sorry. Forgive us. This is not a place for intellectuals. Look, you guys get every podcast to talk about your little fucking things. Give us one.

I'm letting you go. I'm just going to nuance. I'm just going to sit here. Give us one episode. One. One episode. What were you going to say? All right.

So, okay, so. me and my brother were going to my uncle's wedding in Colorado, and it was pretty soon after they legalized the pot. And so we were like, oh, we got to go to the dispensary when we get there. And so we did. And then we looked it up, and we were like, we should go to Red Rocks, too. We'd never been to Red Rocks. And I was like, oh, my God, the Arctic monkeys are playing.

Let's just get tickets and go. So on the way, stop at the dispensary, and we get, we each get a cookie, and we get some weed to smoke. Cookie being ined edible. Yes. Sorry for interrupting. No, that's a great interrupt. Great clarifying question. Thank you for help.

You're actively listening. Thank you, Ben. I go to the gym. I'm active. We eat the cookies as we get in the car. And then it's like a 45-minute drive. And I remember 15 minutes in, I was like, damn, I feel fucking high. But that's crazy.

It never hits this fast. And then five minutes later, my brother goes, I am so high. And he smokes a lot more than me. So I was like, oh, man, this is bad if he's high already. We get to Red Rocks, and it's just like a fucking mess. and I can't even get I had the tickets in my pocket I couldn't get them out of my pocket

I was like please can you just help me like this is insane and we get in there they're playing we start walking is this boring you? No no I'm dialed and we're walking towards the stage

and the music is playing I scream it I said enough I'm not getting any closer this is fucked up and I was like I just got to relax and I looked over at my brother and he's just like kind of vibing out

and I was like that's what I got to do I just got to vibe out like I'll just ride it out. It's going to be all good. And then I tried to. And then I said, you know what? He actually didn't look so good. And I looked back good over him and he fainted. Uh-huh. And I caught him and I started dragging him through the crowd and I was so freaked out. And then I pushed him up against the wall. I said, wake up. You better wake up or I'm calling amyotes. He's not waking up. And then he finally opens his eyes. Just pukes right in my face. Oh. It peaks all over me. Like truly, I let him go. I look down. I'm covered in pukes.

All of my front is covered in puke, and then he just keeps puking. And in between he's like, I'm so sorry. I'm too far. And then he takes. That is the worst feeling. Takes me to the bathroom, tries to clean me up. He feels great because he puked all that shit up. And I'm just sitting there covered in pukes trying to watch the Arctic monkeys so high.

And then we were like, we're idiots. So the next day we went back to a dispensary and we said, can we get something just like a little lighter? Right. And I said, can I ask you, how many milligrams is like, would you recommend eating? And she was like, oh, about like five to ten. Yeah. I said, oh, that probably explains it. And she was like, why?

And I was like, because we ate 65 last night. And she was like, I would be there. Okay. Yeah, it was horrible. I had 10 on 420, and I had to go lay down in my friend's room because I was so just like beside myself having a panic attack, truly thought that the weed was laced with fentanyl. And that I, which I don't think happened. No, I don't think that happens.

Thought I was dying. And then my friends, they were watching a movie and they had paused it, which I now know they were changing the channel. But I thought the pause meant that they were calling 911. one on me. And I was panicking because I didn't know how I was going to be able to open my mouth and tell the paramedics what was going wrong. In reality, they were just changing the channel. It gives you full on psychosis. Yeah. It was psychosis. Yeah. May I? You may. Thank you, Ben. May I please? Thank you. Um, so I have a story. Do you want to hear a quick? Just a really quick story, actually. I hate it. I don't want to silence you. That's not. I don't want to be like telling a drug story or anything, but it's, I'm going to make it really fast. Like, don't make it fast. Oh, we just told two drug stories. I think it's, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Keep going to. Yeah. It's pretty good. Like 15 years ago, my friends and I went to see Arcade Fire at the UC Berkeley Arena Bowl or whatever, the Greek. Thank you.

And we are all like six feet tall plus. So it's a bunch of us. We're all tall. My friends are major potheads. They rolled a bunch of joints. And we were in the pit, like right there. Arcade Fire is right there. They're lighting up these joints throughout the show and blowing it.

And the smoke is going like toward the stage. And I remember one of the women, she's like a violin player. gave and I'm like hyper aware when I'm high I don't know about you guys she gave us the dirtiest look and then I was just I felt so small but I'm so much bigger than everyone around me and I'm like oh fuck the band hates us and then and then I'm like look I'm terrified and I turn around and I just see eyes just looking at me and it was like there was a mom with her like 12 year old behind us and I'm like oh fuck and my friends are oblivious and they're just still smoking then the the the concert progresses and then at one point there was this teenage couple behind us and they were trying to like shimmy past us and my friends would not let them and they kept they were still smoking and i heard i heard the girl say to the boy she's like aren't you going to do something and i heard him go what do you want me to do i'm 15 and it made the whole thing great i just was like oh but yeah you are only 15 there's nothing you can do i was what 19 that's exactly

that's the sentiment that I hate about pot now. Like, I cross a threshold where it's like, oh, I smoke too much, and now everyone hates me. Yeah, try being a tall guy with a giant head in the front dead center, not moving, and you're just, everybody hates you from time. I think the whole, like, paranoia thing is just, like, when you don't stop thinking,

like, your brain would normally stop you at some point. If you were sober, you'd be like, oh, like, I just, like, smoked on that person. They're, like, annoyed, whatever. But then you think and you think about the final conclusion, then you overthink that part, and then you think on that next. It just doesn't stop. It's like hyperactive, which is weird.

It almost gives you like ADHD. My brain goes to death. To answer your question from way back. We always bring it back. They're going back. Mine goes like you'll be stuck like this forever. You've got a certain strain and you'll be like this forever. And then you break past that part and it's like, oh no, it's fine.

Like you're an idiot earlier. Right. Oh, yeah. It finally comes off. And then you're cracking up. I will literally be high at 9 p.m. and be like, I have to cancel my 1 p.m. appointment for two days because I'm not going to be able to make it. I love that.

I definitely have had moments where I'm like, I've really smoked myself stupid. And now I don't have any short-term memory at all. Yeah. Drugs are bad. Yeah, they're kind of not good. Some are pretty great. Yeah, but, you know, yeah, but, you know. True.

I think it's, I don't think it's anything bad for any. I think, you know, it's person by person. I had someone with my car this morning. Okay. Totally sober. Tell us. I think about it. You know what?

Sit down on that this whole time? Yeah, I just remembered. Like, an actual person or this whole? Yeah, a person, an individual. Oh my God. Yeah. I lived near, like, a very, like, high traffic walking here. I just tapped them.

It's kind of, it's kind of their fault. Was he pissed? No. Like, they were embarrassed that they walked behind me while I was backing out. Oh. They were on their phone. Oh. But I also was on my phone.

Right. Double whammy. Yeah. But I have this thing where, like, I have to be this new generation of person against my parents. Like, they do not trust. Like, they'll be in a city that they've done every single day, the same route. And I'm like, just type it in. Because my route's changed, like, to West Hollywood every single time I type it in.

It saves me five minutes sometimes. I feel like it's all six of one, half dozen the other. But what I was going to say is, like, I do this stupidest shit on coffee. Like. What? Yeah, like, like, I don't drunk text. I don't. High text.

On coffee, I will send, like, the most humiliating text message of my life before, like, 10 a.m. Because I'm just, like, on crack. I'll drive. I'll drive, like, pop smoke will come on in the car, and I'm like, I need to go 112 miles. I need to push, like, my car to its limits. And, like, we've in and out of traffic. I just become, like, a god. I don't know.

I become a god. And then I crash, and I'm like, oh, what? Like, that was really embarrassing. The number one cause of car accidents in Los Angeles is speeding. Oh. It's coffee probably. It's speeding probably. I don't drink coffee.

Yeah. Why don't you brag about it? Really? Really. Emil doesn't eat fucking meat or drink coffee or he is just, his body is a temple. A synagogue. Except for chicken sandwiches, fried chicken sandwiches. Booze?

Yeah, you like beer. And some drugs occasionally? That's okay. Yeah. I don't think coffee has ever like had the effect on me that it's, supposed to have on people. Like, I've never had a cup of coffee. I've been like, I'm awake. Really? I don't think I've ever done anything and been like I feel like I have energy or I'm awake. Do you just naturally have it? No, opposite. I feel like I'm naturally exhausted. I think you have an iron deficiency.

I don't think so. Probably. Connor loves diagnosing. Maybe you got to drink more of it. That's just a fact. I don't think it's iron. I think it's just... You got to drink water and stuff like pot. Well, even... What? I just am like always naturally exhausted. Pot will make you... tired. Do you sleep? Yeah. Oh, I need my 13 hours or I'm not myself. Is that real? No. But like, I probably go to bed at like 11.30 midnight and I'll wake up at 8.39. Oh, that's a great. That's great. Yeah, that's a great night's sleep. I love eight or nine hours.

And I'm always tired. It's the weed. But even before I started smoking recently. Oh. Even before that. Do you drink water? Not. Yeah. Yeah. But not a lot. I'm obsessed with the stuff. I can't get enough of it. Really. I love Topo Chico. There are people who are like, I don't like water. I don't understand it. I don't not like it. I just like, it's a chore.

I can't, I'm thinking about it and I want to say. Wow. Your body really is a temple. Nah, you're glowing. Really? Thank you. That's amazing. I drink a lot of water.

I do pee a lot. I do pee. Yeah, I've had to pee for the last 15 minutes, but guess what? I'm holding it in. I love that. Okay, well, I have something that I think we should talk about it. And it's a special time to do it because you guys are here.

Like, I talk about it every single time. Okay. We bring up Elon Musk every single time. Oh, yeah. It's usually just me, like, updating people on my thoughts and... What do you think about him? I fucking love him. I think he's a genius.

I think he's... Interesting. I think he's the... How do I put this? Like, the Jesus of... He's come to save us. Bet, you agree? No.

I mean, I think that there are things that he's doing that are worthy of praise. I think that SpaceX is a necessary thing, especially since they gutted the now. massive budget. We've needed a way to stay competitive with Russia and China in terms of our space dominance. I do think that having SpaceX has made Elon Musk a little untouchable and he knows it and he will do and say anything including and especially manipulating finance markets and, you know, making promises over-promising and under- You got to really dumb it down for I'm understanding everything. No, for me. It's, it's- Sorry. Basically, my, my, my,

My issue with Elon Musk is that I think that he is a narcissist on a level that rarely gets seen by humanity. And what I mean by that is he has to make himself the main character and insert himself into the popular discourse, whatever the current thing is. And I think that I see a lot of myself in that. But I think that doing, and we all do, right? but like, not me. The, the,

um, the, um, the, , um, the, um, we're gonna make ventilators. I will send two of the wrong ventilators to two hospitals.

The Thai kids. He's like, I can fix this. I'm going to invent a, a fucking. And if I can't, it's because that man is a pedophile. Joking,

by the way. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. No, but that. I'm gonna stop you right there.

I like, I couldn't keep the joke going. And I also like, don't want you to be. walking on eggshells thinking I'm worshipping Elon Moss? Not at all. Listen, I'm not, first of all, even if you did, I'm not that type, neither of us are that type of person where we'd be like, oh, well, no, that's great.

You should have heard him in the car here, though, when he's alone? Well, because. Well, because, no, okay, go for it. He is, he's an interesting character. And, yeah, he, um, I just. I would say, I would say we're both very, like, we're frustrated by the, confused by the absolute love and worship and praise. that this man gets.

The fans, yeah. People just... I didn't know he received that. Yeah, no. I mean, it's like... You must know the meme where it's the... I must. The Simpsons meme where it's Apu behind the counter.

There's the guy shooting at him, and Homer is diving into him. I'm not familiar with that. A poo is supposed to be Elon Musk. Homer is weird nerds on the internet. Dude, wow, great meme description. You have to see it? Would anyone be able to pull up the meme?

I wish you could see it. I wish that, too. It's so popular. I thought at some point she'd be like, oh, I know which one you're talking about. Right. It's just basically these people will die on the hill of like Elon Musk can do no wrong. Right.

Like it's, he's saving Twitter. He's going to solve traffic by digging tunnels. Free speech, free speech, free speech, free speech. He's going to solve humanity by sending us to Mars. Even when there's very valid criticism, they're like, no, you suck. I guess I'm just on a different side of Twitter. No, you're very, there it is. That's the, uh.

Weird nerds. Valac criticism. They'll do anything to insulate Yeah, I can understand. I'm trying to think of an example of when this has happened before because this group just like latches on to

probably Steve Jobs But Steve Jobs was different Because he just was so... The Apple love was insane. Yeah, that was a very big That was before my time but like the cult of Steve Jobs was a very, very, very big thing.

Like the Apple fandom still exists. And part of it is because Apple fans, much like Tesla fans, made fortunes on the very products that they love. Made four chans about the... That was good. A good friend of my mom has made millions of dollars on Apple stock. She bought it when it was like in the 90s and just has...

Like in the 90s or in the 1990s? No, like in the 1990s. Okay. But fuck, I forgot what I was going to say. It's because I interested. You know, it's not because the interruptions. Because of all the weed that has smoked my brain and I just have worms crawling around. Did you smoke before this?

No, no, no, no. Why don't you guys tell me some terms? Do you really have to pee? Me? No, Emil. No? Oh, okay. I'm just jittery.

I'm so nervous. Really? I'm sweating. What are you nervous about? You guys? Oh, don't be. I get it. I have like more.

We have to go through some more stuff, but I have like one last question. and money-wise? It is. So is building credit really necessary? Yes. Oh, yeah. If you ever want to do anything

like own a home, I mean, even renting, renting an apartment, if you have bad credit, like, you're just, especially in L.A. where it's so competitive, if you see a place you like,

there's going to be a ton of applications, and if your credit is below 650, maybe even higher than that, they're going to go, nope. How do you know what your credit? You guys, mind if I check my credit score on my app? Credit karma.com.

It's a free way. It's free because they sell your information. Oh, okay. I'm fine. As long as you're above 700, you'll probably find. But everything, if you want a lease or buy a car. It really sucks. It's a fucked up system.

And I don't advocate for that way of doing things. But you can't get around it. Also, yeah, the better credit you have, the better terms you're going to be able to get on loans and things like that. But also, credit card points are just. So good. So good. I mean, I've done so much shit with credit card points.

They're just a miracle. I love them. I have free flights, first class. And I guess that depends on what kind of credit card you have, right? The kind of points here. I got referral links. If you want to just DM me. And I'll send you some, I only get like 10 per month or something like that or some shit.

But yeah, it's great. And once you're hooked, you're hooked. It kind of sucks. Because like if I want to book a flight somewhere first, I'm checking, can I get it with my Amex points? and then I make a list of which ones and then I oh can I get it with my chase points I got I don't even It's a ghost I don't even use it

I can't I unfortunately won't be reading my credit card out loud What is it what is it? Does it start with a seven or six Oh buddy you gotta work on that That's fine oh yeah well let me be honest with you guys And this is really it's hard for me to say out loud He's declared bankruptcy I am declaring bank

No I got my credit card Like my first credit card postcard Like never had one in college and then lost it, like right away. Mine's lost. And I've never had it since. And I just, it just exists. That's good.

I only use my debit card. Oh. Wait, did you pay off the balance of that missing credit card? It's on automatic payments and I'm paying all my subscriptions through it. So it's just consistently paying off. Why don't you just call them and tell them you need another card? Yeah. They'll cancel that one.

Oh, my goodness. But you're fine. You can build that backup. You'll be fine. Yeah, you can build a backup, no problem. You just pay out. But start using that credit card and paying it all. Are you lying to those two fake people?

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I have like 30 credit cards. I had bad credit. And I rebuilt it. And I have always had good credit. We love that value. Yeah.

It's like $820 or something like that. Yeah, because I got a lot of credit. I have like $20. You've got to give credit where credits do. Very nice. I've always said that. Very nice. That's the way you're, what most people don't understand is the more credit you

have, what does that tell banks, that you are credit worthy? Exactly. If a bank, if you go up to a bank and you go, hey, I want a credit card. And they go, all right, do you have any credit anywhere else? No. They're going to be like, well, then we don't trust you. Oh, that's the fucked up thing. You pay your shit off and your score will go down.

Like, if you're just like leverage to the bills. Well, you're talking about bigger loans. Yeah, like, if you take out a mortgage, you'd be like, oh, man, this is going to be fucked. It's going to say I owe so much money. But it goes up. They're like, we love this. We love that you're locked into this.

and you're making on-time payment. Do you know what else we love? What? We opened up a voicemail link last week. Oh, yeah. And we got a couple voicemails. Ooh, what are they? What are they?

Do you want to play them? Can we play one of them? Also, I just want to say really quick before we do these. I listen to a ton of them. Let's go shorter whenever we can. Or just move back to emails. My attention span.

Were people sending you long voicemail? I mean, yeah, like the individual, I love your enthusiasm and your drive and your effort that you put into calling three separate times to continue your story. I can do that. Was there a theme with these ads?

Oh, we were asking for people's most embarrassing stories. But people also just kind of write in whatever sometimes, like hot takes. I also, there was a lot of like, oh, like I laughed really hard and I peed my pants. I was doing this and I peed my pants. Like, peeing your pants is not embarrassing.

I've peed my pants probably 45 times in my 20s. Right. And I'm not joking. That's not exactly. I don't think. You've peed your pants, what? Probably like 40 times in my 20s.

In your 20s? Yeah. Like never peed anywhere before. Like more than in the toilet? Just a little drip after putting it away? I fully like peed the bed. I have an embarrassing story, but I don't know if I... I'd like to hear it.

It's not me. It happened to the person. It was during sex. Uh-huh. I want to hear it. What does this have to do with anything? Well, because it's an embarrassing story. But this person, I mean, this happened over 10 years ago.

Oh yeah, my boy was having sex for a decade. Nobody, there's no way anybody could possibly know who this person is. I'm not even going to drop a name, obviously. I mean. Right. But we were having sex in, I don't know if this is, you know, we were having sex doggy style in a doggy style position, you know. Sure. Let's go.

Whoa. I'm just trying to get a picture of it. My penis slipped out, and before I knew it, I went to thrust back and my penis poked her butthole, which prompted her to fart immediately. And then she didn't know how to react. So she tried to laugh it off at first, but it immediately deteriorated into crying. So she went, ah, ha. Oh, my God. And I was like, oh.

So I thought, oh, I'm going to pretend like. Like, it was me who farted. So I said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know. It must have been the Mexican food we had for dinner. I know. Sorry, I farted. And she just kept crying.

Did it work? I don't remember. I think it was fine. Yeah, then we both chuckled. Oh, I was waiting for the pee. For some reason, not there was going to be pee involved. No, there's no pee. But now I feel really embarrassed telling that story.

No, you're fun. No, because it just feels very personal. Hey, my penis poked someone's butthole in me to fart. We could also just cut it. This happens every time. Ben hears something about embarrassing stories and he goes, I've got a perfect one. And then he tells it.

And then on the way home, he's like, I shouldn't have told that story. I like it. I think it's fine. You liked it? I mean, I was enjoyable to listen to. Okay, thanks. I think it's fine.

I think you're a okay. I do too. This is a really safe space. And he'll probably open up a can of Pandora's worms. What is it? Box. Box. What do you tell us about it?

No, it's a can of Pandora's worms. I like that. For some reason I was thinking Pandora's Box and I was like, am I thinking about like sex still? Because you're still, I'm like, Pandora's Box, is that like sexual? I don't want to open, I don't want to open Pandora's Box in front of a studio audience. Because of the word box? Yeah.

I can tell you my embarrassing story if that would help. Please. Is it, do you fart? No, I don't fart, but there is another bodily function involved. Piss. No. It must be shit then. Okay, go on.

This boy that I had a really big crush on, my senior year of high school asked me to drive him home. and I always get really anxious in cars and anxious around him so it was like a combo yeah yes but well I don't know about it not him I don't care about him anymore but cars I don't like driving

and sometimes when I have like a really intense panic attack I'll throw up and sure and I was driving him home and I felt the panic attack coming on just like being really close to him and in a car combo and I was like no it's five minutes away like you are not this is not gonna happen

And then like I knew it was coming. So I started kind of like planting the seeds like, hey like, are you kind of feeling weird from that lunch we had today? Because that just felt throwing up from like food felt better than throwing up from a panic attack. From being so nervous of being next to him. And he was like, no, I'm feeling fine. I was like, oh, okay. It's like probably just me or something. Kept going.

And then I was like, hey, like I am just really, really not feeling well. And he was like, are you going to throw up? And I was like, huh? Yeah, probably maybe, yeah. And so he was like rolling down the window to try to tell the guy next to us who also was in our class to move over so we could get into that lane so we could pull over. And while he was like talking to that guy window down, I threw up, but like very like casually down my shirt. Like very late into my shirt. I didn't know what else to do.

I was driving. I was like, excuse me, don't mind me. I'm just going to puke down my shirt. Threw up down my shirt. And I honestly don't. I don't think he would have known, but he would like, looked at me and was like, did you throw up? And I was like, um, yeah. And then like, I was like in full, like, what do I do now? Pulled over, took my shirt off. The only thing I had it in my trunk was an open cardigan. So I'm like on the side of the road putting on this like open cardigan like with my bra. Just like a cardigan. They're very, that's the cardigan. That's very kind of. And that's the cardigan. It's very kind of. And the, but like, with like puke, et cetera. Like on your rough. And then I. It's a. It was so bad.

And then he drove the rest of the way home while I sat in the passenger seat and fully reclined myself. Humiliated. Humiliated in my cardigan. But he was super nice. He got me a shirt. And he was like, do you want to come inside? And I was like, not really at this time. And then drove home, walked inside, just like a cardigan situation.

And then, like, now it's funny. But at the time, I was like, life does not get worse. And it never will. Yeah. So you still get nervous. like that. I've found what happens when someone gets into my car

that makes me nervous. I look at them and I say, I'm not scared to you. Right. Then I do the drive. Right. And that puts them at ease. I don't puke.

I haven't thrown up from that in a really long time, but I'm not, it could happen again possibly. I'm not overly. You get scared when you go on a first date? Like really scared? I just avoid it.

You just don't. Yeah. I'm just saying. I'm asking. I'm asking. I just shared my most vulnerable embarrassing story. I just asked her if she goes on first date.

And you're going to tell Ben, it's boring. And she told me she avoids it. If we can. Here's what I'll say. First of all, that's not that bad. He just rolled his eyes at me. If that's your most embarrassing story. It's not good.

I mean, it's manageable. You had an open card again. Your chest is out. It's just like, that's fun. That's pretty. Now there. No, I didn't. I threw up on myself.

There was a girl that wrote into the email that said she threw up, well, down south on a guy. Giving a world. Which sounds. I would rather that. What? Because this was just such a vulnerable, like, you make me so nervous that I'm sick. You said. Like, that is so embarrassing.

Now they're questioning how embarrassing your story is, which I think that's humiliating. I'm not. I'm not humiliating. That's all I've been wanting from you. I can't believe we're going to sit here and talk about the validity. Well, we were supposed to listen to the voice. I would rather listen to Brooke, okay? Wow.

I've never heard that from someone on this set. That's really powerful. Thank you, Emil. Wait, so. No, you know what? Let's play the voicemail. Let's go do it. Brooke.

We'll offline about my drama. I wanted to know what Brooke was going to tell me about Leah Michelle and Jonathan. That's the thing. I came on this podcast to learn things. I wanted to tell Amel about Leah Michelle's vagina, which is. Oh, right, right. Do that.

Well, that's been what I've been seeing on my Twitter as opposed to, I haven't really heard anything about Elon. Whoa. What about a vagina? Do you know who Leah Michelle is? She was on Glee? Yeah, she was ungly. Amiel, I don't think, really knew who she was.

I didn't know who it was. Right. But now it makes sense. So Leah Michelle was the star of Glee. Uh-huh. don't like her now. Why? Because she's notoriously, that's Liam Michelle, very, very hard to work with. Has said really like horrible racist comments to people that they had come out. Well, they, yeah, she was fully canceled a few years ago because people had come out and been like she is racist and horrible and horrible to work with.

And that's so she before Glee, she was in a musical called Spring Awakening. She's been on Broadway since she was a kid, which is why people think she's illiterate. That's a whole other thing. People think she never really had the chance to read. That's a whole four. 40 minute video. She looks like she doesn't know how to read. People think she doesn't know how to read. That's her best friend Jonathan who starred in Spring Awakening with her. Spring Awakening is one of my favorite musicals and it's now coming out. They're doing a documentary about it where they're singing the songs, talking about behind

the scenes anecdotes, whatever and so have you. Those two, Spring Awakening is about sex. Basically kids, teenagers discovering sex. Sexual awakening. Spring awakening. Ah, got it. Okay. And these two have to have sex on stage in spring awakening and their best friends in real life.

Jonathan is gay and does not have, did not at the time have a lot of knowledge about the female anatomy. Sure. So Leah, in the Spring Awakening documentary, revealed that she, with a desk lamp, showed him all of her... With a desk lamp?

Elegant. Gyno vibes. Yeah. Showed him all of her vagina so that he would have knowledge of the female anatomy for all of their scenes and to really put his heart into the character. That's called method acting.

Right. So I guess my question for you, is would you also show Jonathan your vagina if you were Liam a child in this situation? I'll tell you a story. Please. It's very short. But I dated a med student and she had, she was so nervous

because they were going to have to be doing a penis inspection. Sure. Examination. And she was like, I said you could do it on me. Because she was like, I don't. That is so thoughtful. Know how to, you know, actually. touch it in a way that's like

non-sexual and just be very and so I said you can do it on me and we got in a huge fight over the weekend so we hadn't done it yet so like I'm so pissed I'm so upset because of the penis exam no no unrelated totally unrelated

and then I didn't want to be a jerk and I was like leaving and I knew the next day she had to do it and I was like you can still do the penis exam for me and so I just like well Took off my clothes and laid there just like so fucking pissed.

Uh-huh. And just let her like... With a desk lamp? It was pretty lit up. So you're saying that you would in this situation do the same thing? I would show someone my penis. I've never had a vagina, but if someone wanted to see my penis, they can see it. I would also, I would do the same thing, would you?

I'm pretty open about it. Yeah. People are freaking out about it. What? I think they just like hate Liam Michelle. But I would do it. And especially Jonathan, it's something interesting is that he's like known as like the sweetest in the world and she's known as like the worst one of the worst people so it's really

interesting that they're best friends I think that's usually how it goes you think there's usually like a huge like mean person in a best friend relationship and then the other person just like good oh I think he's saying you're I was thinking the opposite I have a doctor's story but it's it sounds like you guys have this contentious thing where we love each other I don't know what contingent just means but I disagree with tense oh like combative. Sure. Do you guys want to hear my doctor story real fast? Speaking of examining penises?

No, sure, please. I worked the Long Beach Air Show when I was like 11 years old for some reason. My dad's friend had a grill and we worked it and so we had a bunch of like condiments at home and I was bored and I was like I wonder what it looks like if I scored

ketchup into the toilet and I scored some ketchup into the toilet and I was like... It looked like I shit. It looks like blood. So I was like, huh, this will be interesting. mom I shit blood and I said because it smelled like ketchup in the bathroom and I was very smart I said it smells really bad you got to like plug your nose she came in and she looked and she's like oh my gosh it's your stomach curtain I was like a little and then I'm like oh man I'm gonna be able to miss so much school and she goes she goes well let me know if it happens again honey and I said okay and so I you know I took the wrapper and I wrapped she did I feel like I would have immediately taken you to the hospital she was she was She's a mom. It was the 70s. It was the 70s.

So I did it again, and I did the same trick. I'm like, it really stinks. She goes in and she's preparing her for the ketchup. She's like, she goes and she looks and she goes, okay, we're taking you to the doctor. And I'm like, fuck yeah. So I'm like, hell yeah, I'm missing school, going to the doctor. And then we get there, and the doctor's like, okay, well, pull down your pants. And I'm like, oh, fuck.

Oh, wait. now? That's what they got to do? He had me lay on my side and he had like a college residence doing his residency and they both had to look at my little boy butthole and it was

fine. He basically was like, this thing is perfect. There's nothing wrong. This thing is, I've never seen this. I've never seen anything like this. Perfect little boy old. Man, come in here and look at your son's asshole. It's stunning. And yeah, he said, well, there's nothing unusual here. And so I was

like, okay, the jig is up, because if I keep this up, they're going to have to, like, cut me open. Right. I better just stop. So I actually, I was smart. I was so smart. I, like, I made it so that it didn't look like I just went right back to perfect health. It was like, I would poop and then scored a little lid.

Oh, wow. And be like, hey, it's getting better. Because my mom was like, I need to look at your poop. Dude, you went so deep on this. I went to just stopped. And then I just stopped like two days later. And I'm like, yeah, I feel totally fine. Does she know now?

Did you ever tell her? Wow. I don't think I ever did. We'll send her this episode. I'll tell her tonight at dinner. That's a really good story. Is it? Yeah.

I like that you were like, I need to wean off the blood. Yeah. Well, because I didn't want to be too obvious. Like your mom was going to be like, it stopped all the sudden? Yeah. You got to be careful about these things.

That reminds me when I would like try to break, I would try to break my wrist so that I could be. What? Not I wasn't like hitting it with a hammer. Like I would like fall on purpose while like skating and stuff. Yeah. And try to like, so I could go get a cast. I would have friends cough in my face.

What is it going on? I'm like cough. Are you sick? Yeah. Because you wanted to miss school? Yeah, and they would cough and I would just go. Oh, see, I was scared of getting sick, but I wanted to cast so bad. Don't jump down my throat here, but I feel like staying home from school was worse than going.

All your friends are at school. And also you got class to make up. Not in like a nerdy way. Exactly. They're like, someone's like, oh, we sent your homework home. It's like, why? Yeah, I was home during Columbine. Home sick.

Where were you? Should we play the video? I was at home and you laughed. I was watching it. I was like, damn, there's something going on on TV. It was wild. I remember when 9-11 happened, I saw it. I was one of the first people to see it in school because in computer class we had it on the TV.

Oh, I thought you meant you out. Yeah, I thought you meant you were there. Well, maybe. Can you stop grabbing my hand? And then the teacher quickly turned off the TV and was like, that was weird. And she had just no idea. Wow. Do you guys remember 9-11?

Yes. It's my birthday. No way. Your birthday's 9-11? I brought cupcakes and then we had a huge terrorist attack. Holy shit. So they probably thought that you were extra fucked up. They're like, dude, it's not a celebration.

What are you doing? I was like bottle service girl with a cupcake. Oh, in Texas too. Your shit would have been... It probably already happened by the time. You still brought the cupcakes. I was at school and then everyone was like, okay, we're all going to go home now. Wow.

Okay, you guys, 9-11's happening. So everybody, school's cancer. Yeah, they did 9-11, everyone go home. Yeah, it's happening today, right now, in fact. I grew up in New Jersey, so everyone was, and it was like a lot of people who lived in my town would commute into the city. And no one knew it was happening. Like, everyone was just getting called out of school. Don't they know, it's 9-11.

Oh, is that? No, I don't know what that is. Is that an original? No, I just remember being the first one to go home during nap time. I was in kindergarten. I was always last. You were last? I was always, not on 9-11, but.

I was always last usually. Yeah, usually I am, but my dad worked in New York. Or maybe he didn't then, but I don't know, but he was home for whatever reason. That's good. Whatever. Yeah, that's great. I want to play one of the voicemail. Okay, sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Give it to me. This one time, me and my boyfriend were taking a picture together and I was like, oh my God, I'm not photogenic. Obviously fishing for a compliment. And he goes, yeah, I know.

and I think about that every single night before I go to bed That's not embarrassing You're dating a mean person Right, right Unless you guys have that relationship where you tease each other But it sounds like you were very embarrassed Right doesn't sound like teasing If you felt bad about it

Right I guess break up with him Yeah If you don't mind I think it's kind of funny Yeah Oh okay Maybe it was a joke

I guess we got another one Okay We're just gonna move on really quickly Hey team My name's Isabella I'm calling from Sydney Australia. Oh, down under.

People who use the word doggo or puffer deserve jail time. Thank you. I actually have... You go. Oh, I disagree. You agree? I think so. Okay, so, like, it was probably, like, 2016 where that, like, uh...

Dog rates. Dog rates came out. And it was very funny. The Twitter thing? And he created this, like... Dog father? New speak. And it was very funny.

And then it got so quick and so big. everyone started talking like a baby when they would talk about dogs and I was just like all right it's not fun it was one guy yeah I blocked him on Twitter because I couldn't stand seeing that shit

ending you were sending you 13 out of 10 pupper pupper popo it was very fun when it first launched yeah well then now I actually like appreciate because it's a very easy way to avoid someone

if they say one thing like that I'm like cool we're just not gonna get along yeah so you would agree I hate that so much wait that wasn't an embarrassing story It was a hot take. It was a hot take.

We also got another hot take that I want to do. You can tell literally anything you need to know about a person by how they answer the following. Oh, no. Fuck Mary Kill. Oh, I love fuck Mary kills. Is it me and Ben's parents? Fuck Mary Kill. SpongeBob, Squidward, Mr. Crabs.

Oh, I would fuck Mr. Crabs kill Squidward and Mary SpongeBob. Wait, who is it again? Spongebob Squidward and Mr. Crabs. Is it? Remember handsome? Squidward because I'll fuck him. Yeah. Do you know who I'm talking about?

Yeah. Yeah. I'll fuck handsome Squidward and if that's not an option, kill regular Squidward. No, it's regular Squidward. Okay. You kill him, right? What I mean? All those are terrible partners.

Yeah, yeah, he would be a terrible partner. He'd be a terrible partner. He'd be a terrible partner. He'd be a very... And a selfish lover. I'm married. I don't think so. I think you guys...

There's handsome Squidward. I think you guys are sleeping on Squidward. No, I'll kill him. And I, yeah, fuck Mr. Crabbs marry Spungebob. You're fucking Mr. Crabs over Squidward? I'm marrying Mr. Grabs. For the money? For the money.

Have you seen how in love he was with Mrs. Puff when he... He was such a good lover to Miss Puff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but those claws, you know, he could snip you right off. Well, you don't have to snip your hog right off. Intimacy with your crustacean about. You hope you do.

Yeah. Not with the advances in technology they were experiencing. Spongub's gay, though, right? I want to be in... Spongewob has a vagina. No. Yeah. He's got a spussy.

Oh, a spussy. Bussy. Yeah. He's got a lot of holes. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Maybe we should be something to consider.

Maybe we should all fucks punch up. Do you think that thing be gripping? I think that thing be part. His holes? Do your guys' audience ask you guys if those things be hanging? Not me. Is that an us thing? I haven't gotten that question yet.

Yeah. Okay. I'll just answer in advance. I do wonder what are. A little bit. What are things that just we get? Because I was like, I take solace in the fact that I'm like, maybe they do this to everybody.

We haven't. gotten to those things be hanging. Look at this long email. Oh, yeah. We don't even have to get in. What am I? That just cracked me up for our visual watchers. Can we bring up that picture?

Somebody wrote an embarrassing story and she was sleeping in a guy's house and she was sleepwalking and she had laid out paper towels over every inch of his counter, then filled up all the pots and pans with water. Why? She was sleepwalking. I don't know. Oh, okay. Oh, I thought she was going to have pissed all that.

No. And then put the pots and pans on the table. soaking wet paper towels and then he texted her the next morning with the picture of all the pots and pants and paper towels and was just like what the fuck is wrong with you and then she also went trying to leave the house and this is what the email has gotten paled on the fence and that there was a 911 situation but that is embarrassing I will say that's tough yeah okay should we wrap up I think we should just wrap I know well Ben and Emil thank you so much thank you thank you guys so much thanks for having us really I think last last question just wrap up

Since we were talking about taxes initially, if I've filed for my extension, should I just still do my taxes ASAP? You have to. You have to do them. The extension, as long as your extension's in, you're good. Just, I would recommend going to a tax guy and doing it.

I was going to say, get an accountant. I just don't get that. Could I still get an accountant after I file my extension? Your extension gives you. Yeah, you can get them whatever you want. Yeah. Someone named, and I just want to... It's actually great.

It's after a tax day. You're going to get all his attention. Zach McMahon wrote in really the, awful answer and said that, but he did say that you get penalized every day that you don't. Like, there is like interest that you have to pay if you don't. Yeah, but it'll be negligible. I mean, it'll be whatever the current... That's one of my favorite words.

Oh, I'm adding that to my thing too. Whatever the current federal interest rating. What do you write down words? Words that I like, yeah. What do you got on there? Who, do you, I can't read the one from yesterday. Wait, should we do real quick the words that I don't know? Yeah.

Oh, might as well. Oh, Ben just gave an audible. Okay, he has to pee. It's okay. It's okay. We can also reconvene. reconvene at a later day.

We both live here. You guys will have us back after the way we behave? Yeah, that was fun. I would like to. Okay, good. I like talking money. You guys make some questions.

I look to, I'll talk at you. We can also talk about other things. Yeah, but... That's an option. If you ain't talking about. What else is there? Lee and Michelle's vagina. I'll talk.

Oh, yeah. We didn't even talk about musicals, really? No, wait. A little bit with Spring Awakening, but not in her. Leassie? Leassie, yeah. The Leassie of the situation.

Yeah, Phileasi. We'll have to come back because I really do want to know what some of these words means so I could dissent for somebody's DM. Okay. Or we could always come to you if you'll have a. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And teach you what we know.

Well, how about this? How about we say we ask people writing questions for us to ask you on your pod? Sort of like Ginzy. A sort of proxy mailbag episode? Yeah. Mailbag by proxy. Okay, well, I also have to pee. And to avoid the most embarrassing story, I think we should write.

wrap up. What was that? Because 50 people wrote in about like peeing a little bit. Oh, I thought that. Okay. You guys are fine. I pee all the time. Pea is sterile. You could pee on me. Yeah. I've been just letting it go. And I have. Yeah. Well, thank you guys so much for listening.

Been in a meal. Trillionaire Mindset podcast is also on TMG. Thank you guys for coming. That was really fun. Thank you, guys. Make sure you watch it. Thank you. Thank you. May God bless you. Subscribe. Leave a comment. Email us. Call us. hit the like button. Hit the like. B and C.M.A.

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Bye guys. Bye. God bless.