Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Becoming Self Aware w/ Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

MERCH: http://bncmerch.com  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://tmgstudios.tv  This week, we can’t stop cracking up because we have the hilariously talented Grace Kuhlenschmidt in the library today! Grace teaches Connor all her stand up secrets, reminisces on her softball years with Brooke, and shares her take on all things pop culture. And, of course, there’s some Timmy and Larry role playing at the end.  Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc Check out https://Squarespace.com/BANDC for a free trial, and use offer code: BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BANDC   Go to https://TakeCareOf.com and enter code bandc50 for 50% off your first Care/of order!  B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa 0:00 Welcome Grace!!! 1:26 Intro 2:01 Dishonorably Discharged 3:39 Love Fest 4:21 Meeting At The Rolling Stones Party 6:00 Making Wigs Cool 7:05 The Dangers of Filters 8:01 Ranking Our Personalities 11:37 A Stand Ups Mindset 12:57 Bombing on Stage 13:52 Squarespace 15:12 Leaving Sets Early 15:44 Recording Sets 17:38 Grace’s Stand Up Tips 19:36 What Connor’s Sets Are Like 21:51 Getting DMs From Comedians  23:22 Online Celebrity Interactions  25:44 BetterHelp 27:03 Cool Celebrity Experiences  28:46 Everyone In LA Is A Celebrity 30:24 The Stanley Tucci Pause 32:14 All Of Larry David's Friends 33:10 Timmy and Larry Role Play 34:24 Horny4Larry 37:08 Feisty Brooke 38:38 Manifesting Larry 40:07 Brooke’s Good Doctor Era 43:34 Care/Of 45:18 Apple Vision  46:51 MVP Softball Player 48:16 Pop Fly Adrenaline  51:42 Connor’s Boardwalk Massage 54:55 Picking Our Noses 57:23 Taylor Swift Dating Advice 1:00:57 Taylor’s Insane Live Show 1:03:29 3 Hour Movies 1:04:51 Celebrity Run Ins 1:07:22 Lewis Capaldi’s Statue 1:09:41 High School Reunions 1:11:34 The Lazer Tag Experience 1:13:17 Sneaking Into LA Bars 1:14:54 Tennis Shoes vs Sneakers 1:16:50 Thank You Grace! 1:17:45 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Although how far are you supposed to see? Like with good eyes. With good eyes. Okay. Because now I'm under the impression that I'm supposed to be seeing like five miles away. And I think my contacts don't work because I can't see into the next city. Well, you know what 2020 means, right? Vision?

Yeah. You can see 20 feet in front of you? I don't think that's what it means. No, that's what it means. Okay. Go ahead and go ahead and. intro for me. Okay, hey guys, welcome back

to Brooke and Connor make a podcast. I'm Brooke, this is Connor and we have a special guest on today one of our closest friends. We grew up together. We were in the Army

with her for a short time. We were in love in the Army. Yeah. We did stand up in the Army. Yeah, that's where I actually got into stand up. And then, well, I mean, I don't want to get into all that

before she comes out. Okay. I'll let her take the, baton for me when she gets in here but she's comedian she's an actress she's a jack of all trades um she's and here she come and here she comes give it up for yep give it up for yep and she'll come and she'll come out right now yeah yes hey brook hi connor are you ready to map i'm ready to Ignorance is bliss. I'm living in a world of my own and it's awesome. Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five.

Where were you? In Pennsylvania. Touch grass, might I suggest. We're just going to dive right in today. Hey, Grace. Hey, Grace. Thank you so much for coming. Oh, my gosh. Of course. I, had you given me just a couple more minutes back there, I was thinking of climbing up on the ladder and dropping from above kind of spider spider man style

yeah lady would not have been awesome I think this chair could have kept me from breaking well surely you know this is the Kelly Clarkson Wayfair collection oh is it surely right really cool yeah it is screaming I'm so sorry that's a that's a BNC custom this is Kelly Clarkson collection from Wayfair dot com but the BNC custom would have also been

no this is really good Just this, yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming. We gave you a little bit of an intro about being actress, comedian, Army, vet. Army, yeah. And we're working. You guys brought up the Army so quick. We brought up the Army.

And we're working on being better about giving more info. So is there anything else you want to say about comedy or the Army or anything else? I guess that our time in the Army was really short, but it was super meaningful. Right. And would we be podcasters here today without our time in the Army, all together, the three of us? I mean, that's one thing that they don't tell you about dishonorable. discharging is that sometimes your call to do something dishonorably discharged so much more meaningful and sometimes that just means putting a mic in your hand we were the first people ever to to pod in the in the

field exactly exactly it was really cool and really exciting and the people in the army didn't really believe us when we said it was kind of huge yeah I mean look at them now yeah no I actually have nothing else to really say about myself which is an exciting thing about confidence well I I can say that Grace is my favorite person on the internet. And I really mean that and I'm not just saying that. And I think you're the only person that has ever made me laugh without saying anything. I honestly feel the exact same way about you guys. And it's kind of annoying.

Well, we say too much. No, but you guys are so, like we found a really like beautiful love, spiritual connection with each other back in COVID. It was. It was back in COVID. That's so weird. I know. And there's so many people that I feel like I know from the internet, too. I feel like to what you just said, I'm like, I feel like we know, we've met each other once.

I know. It's crazy. I have, this is my first time. Oh, this is my first. Oh, this is my first. Oh, okay. Yeah. We met after I had six drinks at the Rolling Stones party.

And I think I might have also had six, which is awesome. Yeah, because we chose to take our first photos together in a bean bag. Yes, you're right. Yeah, on the ground and a bean at the Rolling Stones party. Oh, I will, okay. Earlier I was trying to remember what that party was. I don't know, still. I just know, it was the Rolling Stones party with being backed.

The band? No. The magazine. Although we do go to the band's parties too. Wow. Well, that was a life. No, it was, I was so kind of drunk at that party that there were fake $100 bills in the pool. And I literally convinced myself they were real and I put three in my pocket.

Yeah. And I was like, I guess this is just how L.A. is for influencers. Yeah. No, they were. Floating on top. Okay. They were floating right on top. I didn't have to get too wet.

Okay, perfect. And then I was telling everyone, I was like, I can't believe this guy, DJ Pewee, is just only doing Anderson Pack songs. I know. And he's not getting into, he's not even remixing him. Right. I come to find out DJ Pewee is Anderson Pack. Yeah.

I figured out. Did I listen to the music at all? No. Was that probably the biggest poll? Yeah, probably. He's the one in cahoots with Bruno Mars, right? That's right. Okay.

Are they? Oh, because they're in a band together. Silksonic, yeah. Kind of like you too in this podcast. I guess so. Yeah, you could say that. Aren't you guys the Silksonic of the podcast world? Yes.

We have heard. That's not the first time we've heard that right. And I'm not surprised. I must have read that in an article. I probably read that in a feature about you guys. It was probably in Rolling Stone. It was probably in Rolling Stone, yeah. We're constantly getting the Celtic of podcast.

Right. Over here. I need a wig. We should wear more wigs on here. What are we doing? I was just, Connor, I was just thinking about how when I turned 70, I want to start wearing wigs. I think you should.

You would look amazing in wigs. Thank you, Grace. I kind of think so too. I think it might be your complexion. That's so sweet. Just like perfectly tan. I think you can really rock any neon color. I was thinking green, pink, purple,

because I know my hair is going to start falling out. Sure. So I might as well stop. You already know that now. Yeah. Okay. By 70, just fully out. By 70, yeah.

Yeah. On my 69th birthday, probably it'll start. Right. Yeah. Do you think you could ever do a buzz cut? No. I have actually thought a lot about that since Florence Pugh. shaved her head because if I did that it would be it would like seem unwell she did that

without anyone batting an eye no one and she looks gorgeous it's crazy at what the difference between celebrities shaving their heads Britney Spears like in absolute trouble uh-huh Lauren's Pugh is like she must be doing better than she ever has yeah yeah that's so interesting she carries herself she's finally got a head on her shoulders yes she carries yourself in a way that supports a buzz cut Yeah. I posted a video the other day, a Memorial Day, with a bald filter on. And every comment, although it was a filter, hurt my feelings so bad. I'm sorry.

They were like, never fucking, I think I lost several hundred followers because they were like, that is so fucking gross. Filters are so dangerous, though. I one time messaged a friend and was like, your body looks amazing. And he was like, I photoshopped the whole thing. Yeah. He posted a shirtless selfie as a joke. with abs and I thought they were real

and I complimented him. That's when I'm like, you know what? That's why I don't do it. Filters you can't do because then you're going to see me and go, oh. I know. That sucks. Unless it's a filter of just like angel wings behind you. Yeah.

Or the little devil. Oh, I've always been, yeah, I've always been the biggest advocate of biblical filters. But it's so funny because I actually, it's a weird segue into this conversation. You just reminded me. I was out this weekend and there was someone that I kind of know through someone else. And we're not super close or anything, but we were at a birthday party

and she goes, oh, like, did you know that I had, like, the biggest crush on you? What's her first and last? I'm not going to say that, but, and I was like, when did the crush take place?

I've only known this person for a year, and she is like, so it must have been right the first time we met, and it was a year ago. And we've not hung out in the year.

Uh-huh. I was like, oh, you used to have a huge crush on me. Like, and now we're friends and, you know, We can tell each other that. And she goes, yeah.

And I was like, what happened? Because I didn't even know. She goes, oh, no, I just got to know you a little bit. And I was like, oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, okay. That has happened so many times. But not in, like, a crushed perspective more. And, like, meet someone for the first time and we're, like, internet friends.

And then I never hear from them again. I'm jealous of you. Because people, like, see you when they're, like, oh, I like him and then get to know you and then don't. But it's like they like what they see. You know, they just don't like your personality. You should have your privilege for that.

I wish that people would like me for what I look like instead of what's inside. You know? Totally. I'm sitting in my therapist chair right now. Yeah, this is a couple's therapy. Yeah. Because you have for us about our personalities versus our looks.

Yeah. I guess how would you, okay, if you had to rank yourself, I guess we won't go on physical ranking, but if you had to rank your personality, I would really hope you both rate yourselves highly. That's a... It depends. I think it depends on like...

What about my personnel? Like, I think there are some parts that are really concerning. You know? And then some parts are sweet. Okay, okay, got it. So I... Tower Patch Kid vibe. And I actually think all of the sweet, like quirky,

good things about my personality come from a really dark place. You know? They're kind of like covering something up. Do you think it's like, are we averaging out of five then? Yeah. I'm going to go six for me. But because I'm a narcissist.

Do you ask you? I think you're a narcissist. Probably a little bit, yeah. I think we have to be a little bit. But I think the self-awareness of being a narcissist probably knocks me down a little bit. A little bit less of a narcissist. If you can admit it, then you're not sociopath, right? Right.

Or. But there's also that saying that self-awareness. I guess we'll never know. Self-awareness doesn't absolve you of anything. I've heard that too. Really? That's fucked up. Yeah.

You would think you're... Then why have I been self-aware of all my laws? Yeah. I should have been just completely naive. Because people think like, oh, yeah. Like, let's say you're a shitty person, which of course you're not. But people think like, oh, if I'm a shitty person but I'm self-aware, then that's fine. But it's actually not because you're still a shitty person.

You know? I guess that's like, it reminds me of one of a guy's like, yeah, I'm a cheater. But I'm self-aware. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, yeah, no, no, no. It doesn't take anything. Yeah. I just, yeah.

Oof. That's a tough comparison moving from me to a guy that says he's... I was just trying to think, what's the closest thing to? No, I'm kidding. A self-admitted cheater. Totally, by the way. That's awesome. What would you rate your personality, do you think?

I mean, like, I think I would have said eight before this conversation and hearing you guys be so self-aware. I think I also have to knock down to a six. No, grace. Yeah, I think, and I do think it might come back down to narcissism. Oh. You think you're a narcissist too? I think I have to be a little bit.

Yeah. That's actually, we went on this podcast and what did that guy say to you that was like kind of a little bit concerning about stand-up when he was like you either think. Oh, he said you either think you're the funniest person in the room or you're okay with wasting people's time. Whoa. Which is a crazy dichotomy of like it's either this or this because it's not. It's really neither. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's part of the reason I would not. never do stand-up. Well, also, most stand-up is really just barely above mediocre. Yeah. So if they all thought they're the funniest person in the room would really suck. That's true. You could just be like, well, I'm not the funniest person in the world, but I'm practicing. Yeah.

Right. My take on stand-up is I'm just kind of going out there and going, I just hope they like me enough to laugh. Yeah. And that's really what I go out there for. Yeah. And, like, comparison is the thief of joy. unless you compare yourself to people that are worse than you,

which is what I focus on. And when I think about it, I'm like, oh, I didn't get absolute belly laughter the entire time. I had a consistent chuckle, and it was from different groups of people that like different jokes. That's great. And then you think about that afterwards. It's like, there was never dead silence,

which I've seen happen to people. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, okay, then that's fine. Have you ever had dead silence? Yeah, probably my, yeah, I have, like, one very specific time that I bombed, And it was because I was like miserable going on stage. Really?

Like I've kind of convinced myself that my standup is going to be good if like I'm having fun. Yeah. Before I go on. Like if either the green room is a good vibe or like I know people there in the show or something. And I was so nervous to do the show. And like there was just nowhere to hide. Like before going on, you just had to stand in the audience. And I went, I don't think I smiled.

I don't think I let out like even a little smile the entire set and I knew 30 seconds in this is gonna fucking suck and I could turn around but I didn't but that's funny maybe I think so talking about it yeah

but like in the moment I was like this is so horrible well at least you were self-aware 100% so true so true yeah because I've had times where twice I've been like yeah I know this is going bad

and I'm just like is anyone mad at me right now now. Right. And when that doesn't work, it's just like, okay, get through the next eight minutes and then kill yourself in the parking lot. Yeah. At least.

Or on stage at this point. Right. To change a trajectory of everyone's lives in the room. Yeah. It's also very clear after a show if I'm like getting the fuck out of the venue. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I'm like, then even if I think I did well, I probably didn't do that well. If I'm like unwilling to see a single audience member, I'm like, I didn't do very good. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I've done that twice. Left. Yeah.

Do you record your sets like on your phone? or anything? Yeah, but I can't watch them. I know. I still can't watch them and I was actually talking about it someone today because they're like, how come you don't post your stand-up clips anywhere, which probably would increase ticket sales if I would show-gift people a tape. But I got one gnarly comment on one of the bits that I posted somewhere and it was like,

why are you posting this before you've like perfected this bit? Oh, God. Because obviously, you know, you like work on stuff and you do, my watch has turned towards me, which I've never seen. I thought that was a spider. Off my down, dude. I was like, no. That's why I was feeling off.

I did a bunch of mushrooms. I mean, you're slimming if your wrist are. Yeah, you must have lost some weight in the last 15 minutes. It's because I'm going like this. I'm losing weight out of my left arm. But I forgot, oh. So I'm like, okay, I don't want to post these clips yet because of this one person. But it could also Matt Rife it, you know, where like his clips just took off and took off and took off.

Totally. No, it really is. I posted a clip recently and like six comments were why are people laughing before she even says anything? And I'm like, because they were having a good time. And that's what I was saying about. Because they were just giggling. And there's a two drink minimum.

Yeah, exactly. They're wasted. And also you're funny before you open your mouth. Well, I just, that's what I'm going back to is I just want people to be having a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm not also like, I'm not like punchline joke. Right.

Like that I can't do like, I was. the bar the other day and bada bing, bada boom. That's what you do. Cha-ching. I feel like you do. O'Connor's just telling knock off jokes. I have not looked into any equation for writing jokes yet.

Totally. And so I'm still unsure if I'm doing it efficiently or even right. So fair. I'm still not sure. I was doing stand-up wrong for a year. And I'm like serious. What were you doing that was wrong? I wasn't telling jokes.

I was like telling made-up stories that, like, Like, it was like, I would get laugh. Oh, is that what you're doing? That seems right to me. No, I'm like, I, all of that material from that year, I, you could not pay me to do it again. Really? Yeah, like, I'm positive that it only like kind of worked because I think I was having fun again. Yeah.

But like, I'm sure it was not stand up. But your made up stories are like, like the stories about you and the art or your husband coming back from more like that. Totally, yeah. But my family and my kids. Yeah. and your kids. I can do that now, but the way I was doing it,

like the first year I did stand up was like, oh God. As an example, would it be like a made up, there's a punchline and then you have to just make up a story around it? I was doing some fucking insane like seven and a half minute fake stories.

That's what I do, Gray. I'm trying to hear what your thing is and why it was wrong. I'll literally like send you a clip from like 2021. I have to get it. You'll be cringing the whole lot. Why didn't it work? I'm confused.

I don't, I really can't. What is stand-up supposed to be then? I think that I... Bada boom. Well, to me also, I feel like I've learned that if someone goes to the bathroom right before my set and they come back a minute into my set, they need to be able to kind of understand what's going on. But because of my seven and a half minute stories, I basically lost anyone even if they zoned out

for a minute. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. And that's how mine are. kind of lead into each other. So I'll be giving up. No, you shouldn't be giving up.

Maybe you have a completely different style than me. I don't think so. It sounds pretty much exactly the same. What if I had seen you do stand up multiple times and I just came on here to like kind of help you? Like Brooke hired you. I've seen you do it I think three times now. Ooh.

One doesn't count because she had a vat of wine. Hey, that counts. I was nervous. I do. So nervous for you. Hey, a lot of people do a lot of things on a vat of wine. You want to do a lot of things on the vat of wine. I get stage fright for other people.

Totally. So I had gone to the bar. That's really common. Yeah. No, it's really bad. And when I get nervous, like, it's like, oh, I will throw. Like, I'm going to throw up. It's not just like, oh, I have butterflies.

It's like, so I was kind of just trying to take the precautions that I needed to make sure that I could be there for you. It's just as hard for Brooke. When you do. Hey, I know. Yeah. So I had something like some. Some black wine. Yeah, like super, super red.

It was like gray. It was like black wine. It was like dark gray. It was like black. That like just full one sip stained your tea. And it was in, yes. She looked like she. It's like gritty.

Yeah. She looked like she had been feeding. Yeah, totally. And it was like in a really huge jug too. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So I think one to six glasses. Was it like Carla Rossi or something?

You're constantly talking about huge jugs on this podcast. Oh, love that. We are obsessed with huge jugs. I love huge jugs. I love huge jugs. I love huge. jugs as well. We're always...

Huge jug cast. Yeah, of first. Everything always comes back to massive cans or jugs, whatever floats you both. We're more of a jug family. Well, I was just going to say about your stand-up from what I remember

is it is joke, joke, joke. Yeah, see? Joke. Well, like you said, a lot of it is personality, like people are laughing before the punchline because there's little things in there that like... Yeah. I'm still

when I see myself do it I'm like that's not even me still it's different from videos it's different it's different and I can't figure it out like I'm still watching game tape back and I'm like huh definitely you just stop pacing sure on the stage yeah I almost tripped over a right oh a mic wire last week bummer you tripped it at the one when I had the wine as well I'm constantly tripping yeah yeah I'm always fidgeting with like though I'm doing it now even I love this little thing oh Oh, I love a string. Damn. So a string or something that you did you with?

Yeah. Have you ever had, because I feel like you're in a space for like comedians who maybe you would admire or would also admire you. Have you ever been in a situation where a comedian that you love has come to see you and you're like kind of freaked a little bit maybe? Not the one time that I was like, I got like a DM one time from a comedian I really like after she saw me perform. So that was like, I mean, the best possible way.

I mean, could it have been nicer? But then, again, the one time I really bombed was for, it was two comedians, their show that I, like, really have loved forever. Yeah, but what are you going to do, honestly? And I think that you just have to rely on being charming and nice. Yeah. That's what you have to do.

You have to. I can't be mean after bombing, you know what I mean? I got to lose all ego. Going back in the green room, that's where I'm killing it is backstage. Yeah, exactly. I'm like talking to other people. There was a, at that Bill Bershow,

Rory Scoval was there, and he was so nice. And then he followed me and DM'd me. And that was the nicest thing ever, because he's so funny. He's so funny. And so nice. Like, unbelievable funny. I'm not used to people being actually nice

from living in L.A. for a couple years. That is scary when that happens. I'm used to people being like, oh my God, how are you? and then never talking to them again type thing. So that was really nice. I had, this is pretty, not quite on the same page, but maybe like three months ago,

I had a very famous actor. She liked an Instagram comment of mine on some other celebrities' Instagram. And so I was like, holy fuck, this actor knows who I am, right? I literally, like, sat next to this actor at a concert the other day made eye contact with her multiple times

she has no fucking clue who I am and I spent about three months convincing myself like she's not following me back yet because she's playing it kind of cool she could have been playing a cool when she didn't look at you I'm like you know the different

she was like looking through a ghost no she had no idea who I'm maybe she was high on something we always talk about how social media is so much like you get that one notification that gives you a high for like three or four days. Uh-huh.

Just like what's next? I know. It's really crazy. You get a follow or you get like a DM or something from somebody and then it's like, you forget that this, you know, like some major person follows you. You forget and you're like, who's next? Exactly. Get over here.

Short spurts of like almost nothing. I know. Yeah. Yeah. What sucks is like all it takes for me to get really excited about someone like commenting on myself is just like them being famous. Like even if I don't necessarily like them at. Do you ever have?

Totally. Have someone that likes your video and you Google them? You're like, oh, wait, I do. I love them. Well, I didn't realize they're in Riverdale. Yeah, you're like, I've never seen that show, but I've always thought that I would like it if I put the time and effort it to watch it. That's what happened to me with Joey King. Joey King commented on one of my videos, and she was like, I love you.

And I was like, you know what? I actually am obsessed with you as well. And I've always kind of said that about Joey King. Right. You're just like looking at Google images. going, I've always loved this outfit on her. And then I was like, oh my God, I love, I love Joey King obsessed with her, and then she didn't follow me back. And I was like, then you were lying.

I know. You were lying to my face when you commented, I love you on my video. And then I unfollowed. She really commented that. She really had the nerve. She really had the, yeah, something along those lines of, I love you. We look back and the comment was like, hey, take this down. This is an infringement of my right. Yeah, but I have all I love it.

Do you have anybody that, yeah, I think we all, this is always, you know, this is a Joey safe space. Yeah, of course. Oh,

have you had anybody? Like, you've been in the space for a good amount of time, right? Like, has there anybody that's been like a really cool experience?

Mine just changed. That's why we had this conversation last week. Really cool experience. Yeah. What is yours? Yeah. Take it away.

Well, I was at ACL and James Marzen was there. And at the time, I was like, this was pre-jury. This is L-O-L-W-worthy, like how random that James Marsen's here. Totally. So nice. And there was just a group of us and he, we were all moving together as a unit.

And he was in the vicinity with us for, not with us directly, but like, you know, I was chatting with him. Totally. Because he was, I think, by himself. And we took a picture together or whatever. And I was like, that's funny. And then now that's one of the coolest interactions I'd have because of jury. because I didn't have the appreciation I have from now. Now that interaction has moved up on my tone to one that I tell people about, whereas before

I was like, L-O-O-O-O-O. But that's probably for the best because you didn't have any sort of expectation. Exactly. Or like you could have said something that you were like, fuck, I wish I didn't say that because you were too like in your head about it. Whereas in that moment, you weren't in your head at all because you didn't really care. I'm not really in my head person about what I'm going to say, hence Lewis Capaldi. Well, you didn't care about it.

Louis Capaldi. I was just literally blackout drunk. Jury duty. I had been good. Jury duty season two. I had this like top period of my life where I would like have a few drinks and then think everybody was Lewis Capaldi.

Yeah, I kind of remember seeing that on your Instagram. Yeah. And then there was this one night where I'd had a few drinks and I was like, here's another Louis Capaldi. And you really? And then I, you know, took a picture with fake Louis Capaldi post it. But it was, it actually turned out to be the real. Oh my God.

The real Lewis Capaldi. No, because I had been thinking I've been seeing Lewis Caulfi everywhere. I knew. I knew it was. Right, right, right. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, he was really just nicest guy.

Yeah. That's amazing to hear that. That's the weird thing about L.A. is like, anyone could be a celebrity. Literally driving here today, I saw someone, I was like, that's Haley Steinfeld. And no, it was just a brunette girl. It was just a brunette. But, like, it was so close.

And I wouldn't be surprised if that's happened to hundreds of people in L.A. That happened to me the other day when I saw Kylie Jenner, and I didn't realize that she drove a Raff 4. Wait, you... Oh, fuck. See, that's how convincing that kind of Jenner was. You just fooled me. I took a picture with Paul McCartney outside of Costco.

And it was a woman. It was a... Not Paul McCartney. Yeah, you would just have to be on your toes. You know who's a really easy celebrity look? Like, there's just hundreds of doppelgangers is Stanley Tucci. Because you really just have to be a medium-billed bald guy. wearing a mediocre to good outfit.

Yeah. Yeah. I see them all over, honestly. Yeah. You could be bald and then fall into a Zara head first and then come out. That's exactly it. He actually is an incredible and incredible man.

He's unbelievable. He's unbelievable. I mean, double wears Prada to Hunger Games. He wears P to HG, that pipeline? Beyond. It's crazy. Like that is a career. His chefing abilities as well.

You're right. I'm loving watching the millennial pause, which is millennial pause. You guys know what millennial pause is, right? Millennial pause is when you start a TikTok video or something and you're looking at the camera for like five things like, hey guys. So today we're going to be making and he's, oh, he waits forever and then it's like. But he's right in doing so because if you don't do that, it cuts you off. Yeah. It's just the millennial pause.

I don't know what to say. No, there are still like Jeff Goldblum does that. to actually. Yeah, it's weird. Maybe it's just like a man in your 50s who you're like still learning how to talk almost. It's really exciting. It's just this innate instinct to not trust

that the camera has started recording even though you push the button. But they're 100% right because if I were to open my Instagram and start talking right away, the first bit would get cut off. Totally. I mean, if you're scrolling with your sound,

on it would start the sound would start when it's supposed to not really I'm now I'm not following along anymore okay I'm just and I was not even doggy on him it's endearing when he does it when my dad does it jail yeah um daddy you'll never be Stanley Tucci no matter how hard you try dad give up are Stanley Tucci and Jeff gold is it gold Blum or gold blum are they friends it's Blum gold Blum I think it's Blum I don't know which one it is but I I'd like to imagine They have to be friends Like yeah but

I don't know There's something about again Like men at that age I'm like do they even have friends You know like I do I feel like they have their family And like I think they'd shake hands And maybe be like

They're the same genre You know who has friends? I wonder if they're competitors Yeah You know who has friends? Larry David Yeah for sure He has friends

For sure Well I sent you that Dumois post of him He was just golfing With Zach Ephron. Yep. With Zach. In Cabo.

Can you? Can you imagine? Immediate. Is making that connection. Yeah. Larry. Well, Larry was also. That's crazy.

Dining with Timmy C. I know. Remember that? Yeah. Well, Timi C is... That was pretty huge for everyone. That was pretty massive. That was really crazy.

Pretty big. Yeah. What did they talk about? That's an improv. No. You two do it. You do stand up. Okay.

Who do you want to be? Who do you want to be? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be Larry Dee or Kimmy C? I think I need to be Timothy, because I don't think I can do a Larry David. All I think about when I think of Timothy Chalameh and an impression is Benny Drama's impression. I know. It's just really good. So, okay. Okay. I'm going to try.

Let me, okay. I'm going to try to. And I'm going to watch. What are we? Wait, are you? You're Larry. Oh, I'm Larry? Yeah.

Okay. And where are they? I'm just trying to stay as humble as I can't. Yeah, all right. With this crazy life that I've been given. This table is close to the street, right? Tables kind of close to the street? It is, but it's not the waiter's fault.

In fact, I actually have started tipping 21%. I don't know. Do you get that, I kind of get that street smell when I'm sitting this close to the street. The street's right there and we're here. It's not scary. It's not, I mean, it's not saying a car you could you could have one person who decides to drive their car through him we're toast that's what i'll order it's a toast i'm like i may have been closer

to doing larry david honestly no that was really good you guys because look at it look at his face in this picture like that is that is what he's sounding you know the table's wobbling i know i was going to say wobbly but i was like he already did that he looks so i he's so like handsy in a positive way. No, I, wait. Don't you just think that he would just like touch her shoulder, which is a very clear like, you're my friend move and you'd be like,

he wants to fuck me. 100% really bad. Wait, Timothy Shalame or Larry David? Timothy Shalm. Oh, I was sorry, I was getting horny for Larry over here. My bad, I'm horny for Larry. That was on me. You guys are in the right there. No, no worries. Is he drinking that espresso martini or is that

someone else? I don't think Larry could support an espresso martini. I have to say. I don't think he's got the... I don't think he's got the facilities for it. Yeah. Mental or physical? I think his heart would give out. I think he might be able to do a matra. Oh, yeah, because it's a little bit of a...

And he's been in L.A. for so long. Uh-huh. I think he might be able to do it. I will say, I saw him live last summer or something, and he was seeming. You could see his age. He was shivering. That's no good to hear. And, yeah, no, it was scary. Oh, yeah, yeah. He hates sound.

Yeah. He's just like me. Yeah. I think I told his story on the podcast, but he was golfing over in like near the palisades. And someone was behind him. And he's talking to this like 16 year old that's working in a golf course.

And he's getting a bucket of balls to go to the driving range. Bucket of balls. And I guess it was $11 for the bucket of balls. And that's how much it's always been. And he's talking to a 16 year old. He's like, why 11? Because now I got the 10 and I'm going to give you a one.

And then I'm going to have $9. Why not 15? Why not 10? He is literally him. Like that is his character. What an awesome living situation where you're just like yourself and you get two shows essentially written about you. Literally. And I will say I don't, I have never encountered an instance where he's been wrong.

I don't think. I think that's pretty fair. I'm waiting for someone to be like, oh, no. He's been canceled for something horrible. Well, no. Oh, was he canceled? No, no, no. He's uncannable.

It doesn't matter what he does. He doesn't care. Yeah. If you don't care about getting canceled, you are uncanceled. Right, right, right. That's how it works. And he doesn't give a shark. Uh-uh.

He can't. He can see. No. I don't think I've ever disagreed with him is what I'm saying. Yeah. Well, it sucks. Like, if he was diagnosed with something, I would unfortunately be like, oh, I need, I am also that. Because, like, the OCD parts, the irritability, like, all that stuff.

I'm like, to your point. It's Jewish. I know. I need to do 23 in me. You think you're Jewish? I know I have some Ashkenazi in me. And you're just not at all. No, there's no way.

Totally. I don't think you do. I know, but I have all of this, that like irritability and stuff. You don't. You're super friends. Sense, well, I can hide it really well. That's what it comes down to. Well, anytime I'm like a little bit, not short with someone, but there was this one instance

where this guy, I had driven into some sort of secure power plant by accident. because I was just trying to turn around and I got lost. Huge fire, we'll get into that later. And I got lost and I was just like going through a security checkpoint gate to turn around. I had got, I was. Hey, we're on your side. Out of sorts. And this guy throws himself in front of my car, starts screaming at me.

And I start screaming back because he was being rude. Yeah, of course. And Connor's like, Brooke, stop it. Like, stop it. Like really mad at me for like raising my voice at him. That is not. you don't have a Jewish bone in your body. You can't be Jewish.

I've never seen Little Brooke sitting in her cart being so crazy, honestly. He was, he yelled first. He yelled first. He was a security guard and you're driving into a power plant. I was supposed to do. Can I help you? That is literally his job to figure out. He's like, guy, what do you?

Yeah, he was. I'm turning around. I was like, we're just making a you turn here. And she's like, and they're like going at each other's throats. And I was like, we're just going to, we are going to get out of here. I'm not faulting you, but you say you're Larry David. But where's the opportunity? Larry would have gone out of the car and socked him in the face.

Yeah. In that moment. One thing about Larry's is he's not a fighter. Sure. No, but he would have gotten out of the car. He would have, yeah. Yeah, he would have done something drastic. What's crazy about Larry is that like he's able to do those things because he's a billionaire.

That's why he can say what he says. I mean, right. And act the way he does. Yeah. But he wasn't always a billionaire and he's always. been this way. I guess we'll never know. Yeah.

We need to get, you guys need to get a childhood friend of Larry's on the podcast. Yeah, or Larry. That's the instance where I wouldn't be able to talk. I don't think it's entirely insane to think that we could at least get a FaceTime from him. I think that's insane. No, I don't think that.

I think that's the narcissism talking. I don't think it is. I think it could happen. I mean, we have a peer in in Kazi David, someone already. Yeah. I've never, never met her interacted with her but someone our age i've read her book yeah i didn't i lied to you just i watched a i've seen her book in a bookstore totally totally i think that's awesome and a really good start you should definitely tell her to that i will she's someone who i guess i am kind of a narcissist

because like i'll follow her and unfollow her 50 times because i'm like she must not have seen that i followed her so she's of course has no idea why i am it's true bummer that we're like this you guys i know oh yeah i wish i could unhardwire that part of my brain that thinks that like our Instagrams have value, really. Yeah. The thing about unhardwiring your brain is that I don't think a lobotomy would even change me. No way. I think you'd be surprised.

I think I'd be exactly the same. Maybe worse. That could be a fun challenge. Yeah. Get a lobotomy and see what happens? I watched an episode of The Good Doctor recently where they did a lobotid, like some sort of frontal lobe. You watch The Good Doctor. Well, I've been, I've watched TikTok clips of that.

Oh, okay. So you're not watching. at on ABC. No, I'm not like tuning to the I will say. Because I've heard you talk about the good doctor before and I'm like, what's going on with that? She's in her good doctor era.

Good doctor, house, and Chicago Med. But like I won't turn on the TV. I'll just be like, okay, it's TV time and I'll go on TikTok and just scroll through the episode. And it's, is it their TikTok or someone has uploaded the stuff? It's like a movie clip 4, 6, 7, 8, 9.

I love, I mean, I've watched full movies through those clips. I cannot You know what? A movie is just a collection of clips. And the whole movie is always good. Yeah. The clips are always good. I know. It's true.

It's true. And boy, is my attention span getting smaller on the daily. I seriously feel like we're not that far off from just going to the movies. And it's Nicole Kidman. And she's just scrolling through her FYP on a live stream. Yeah, I think that's really great. For three hours. I am getting like Dr. House.

Do you know Dr. House has a name and it's Gregory? No. Doctor House has in the doctor With the cane Okay Yeah yeah yeah His name was Gregory House But I'm getting like thirst traps

Like like like Like hot like songs and then like clips of him Like with his shirt kind of coming up a little bit And his cane I don't hate it I don't know he is actually He's a good looking guy What's the actor's name?

Hugh Lorry Look at his blue eyes Why what's up? He's in Vee. He's in a 60s now. He was actually. good in Veep too. He's so talented and he's British in real life.

Oh. Yes, and you would never know because he's such a strong American. Yeah, there's nothing that makes me feel talentless. Yeah. More talentless than hearing who I thought was an American, be not American. Good doctor as well as British. Who's the most? Wait, that, what's his little name?

Freddie Highmore. What's that? What's his little tiny name? Because he's like still like eight to me. You know what I mean? I feel like you wear Freddie Highmore's stand. Is that true? Of course.

I love him I know I know but you you still love him now yeah especially now with the good doctor you know that show's still going I do know because I watch something and it comes up I think maybe it comes up after The Bachelor

Yeah he just had a baby Oh right I saw that he's like married or something Yeah Yeah it's just no graze to me You know what I mean I kind of want Does he fucking and sucking a little bit It is fucking and sucking That's a thing

Yes Really Yes they take you through his whole job journey of learning how to fuck as well. Are you like seeing him shirtless at all? No, I wish. But no. Hey, you couldn't find that on Google.

I bet you could, you could find that anywhere. My friend told me yesterday that, actually, this is probably not a good thing to say, so never mind, I won't say it. Good, totally. Good self-awareness. Yeah, thank you. We'll completely move on from that.

Yeah. Yeah. I wonder, this is gross to say, too. It's okay. I wonder, like, I was like, oh, you could also just AI him shirtlace if you wanted to. But like, how is that?

Not illegal. How would one go about doing that if one wanted to? Let's just close our eyes permanent and have gone or walk us through how to do that. Isn't it cool that if you close your eyes, your brain becomes like you're AIing? Yeah, that is true. Speak of it. In our little imagination. Speaking of that thing, do you see the Apple announcement this morning?

They're like coming out with that like a full VR headset now and it's like you just put it on and it looks like ski goggles. Didn't they already have that? Apparently not, and it's $3,500. They had that already. No, they didn't. Wait, it's weird. You could see through it. And then...

I mean, that sounds cool to me. Like, you know what I mean? It's just on your face. I feel like we invented this. Oh. That's what we're talking about. We said, we propose the idea for... I remember hearing about that.

I want to be able to lay like this. The crazy inventions guy did it or something, right? Yeah. Yeah, crazy inventions guy. I cut up on you guys. Yeah. That's really sweet, Grace. It'd be nice if I was like stuck somewhere tight like in the trunk of a car and I could still like scroll on my phone and I'd have to have my arms out. I know.

Well, I remember like one of my first memories of wanting a VR headset on my head was in like freshman sophomore year of high school playing softball. My coach would like have these really intricate ways of telling us the plays like, you know, like tapping all over. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that too. I mean, I wasn't on your softball team, but I was on a different softball team. No, but like any sport that had signs like that. And I was just like, I don't fucking know what you're saying.

And if only I had like little sunglasses that could just tell me the play. Whoa, yeah. Or just tell me it. Tell me with your words. No, or that. Or use your words. I was also just like on a personal level. So slow when it came to running.

that like if he ever gave me the play of like steal a base it was like you could just tell everyone it's not going to make a difference i'm going to get caught well i don't know about you but i was a flex player which means that i was allowed in the field but when it came up to bat i would i was flex so they would put someone else in for me wait so my hands were going to be really opposites what were you i was like designated batter a lot of the time oh but they didn't put you in the field so well it was more so that i would be in the field but as soon as i would get to first base, they would have someone run for me. Wait, you can just swap out.

Yeah. They do that with the best players, though. One or two player. Yeah. I don't know if that was really the best. I think it was just their best option. Well, they could have just gotten rid of you all together, and they didn't. So true.

Because you clearly brought something that. Yeah. It was pretty heavy hitter. Yeah. My soft-book. We haven't had many heavy hitters on this set. Really? Hmm. That's good to know.

I'm not a heavy hitter. Wait, Brooke, what position did you? I played second base. And, well, started at shortstop, then I felt like that was too close. And then second base. Even though they're almost in the exact same spot. Yeah. So then I felt like second base was too close as well.

Totally, of course. Because I just was scared it was going to directly hit me in the face. Yeah. And then I went out to the right field. Wow. But I was so good at catching those pop flies. I know. Isn't that the best?

There is no better feeling than feeling that going to your club. You could just, wouldn't it be nice? You wake up. in the morning. You have a cup of coffee. And then someone goes, hey, get out there. You just get to one or two pop flies. Oh my God. That would set you up for success every morning. That's like a sad lamp, you know? Like when you set up like a little lamp in your face for depression. You guys know those things? Yeah, I've got six. Basically, we could just do pop flies instead.

That's so good instead of morning Pilates. Like get me to a morning pop fly class. 100%. Yeah. Ground balls. Yeah. Oh, let me feel them. I have friends, like a lot of friends that go and play catch. We're not talking about catch Yeah, we're kind of talking about Pop flies, Connor When you receive the ball into your hand That would be a catch No, you don't get it

You've clearly never played softball I've clearly never played softball It's not catch if it's coming from a bat One of your last episodes You guys were talking about having Like a vocab list up Yeah, and I think that pop flies should go on there

Because I don't think Connor really knows what that means Guys, I know what a fucking pop fly is Clearly don't if you think it's as simple As a game of catch You guys are women's explaining softball to me on this end of the couch. Yeah. Sorry that we didn't.

I'm confused. I'm confused. I know there's obvious differences in baseball versus softball and there's the ball size. Sure. But like, men don't play softball until they're adults. Isn't that kind of weird? Yeah. Like, you become an adult and then you can join an adult softball league.

But no one in high school guys don't play softball. I bet there's a reason because there's a reason for everything. Let's Google it. There's not a reason for everything. Yeah. Oh, that's true. But no, God makes everything happen for a reason. God makes no mistake, so that's on me.

But I'm saying, okay, a high fly ball. Okay, so this is what a pop. No, but why is there, why do men only play softball in their old age? You know, instead of in high school. Why is there no youth softball? Men's softball. Right. Because like as a young man, as a boy, I played t-ball.

Yep. And then I played baseball. Right. There was no softball. Right. Why? I know. And it's like as young girls.

Okay. We played t-ball to kind of baseball and then to softball. Yeah. Oh, really? We have to really at that. When did you do baseball? I did baseball probably in like first, second, third grade, I believe. And now was that co-ed?

Yeah. There was like one or two girls on the time. Uh-huh. Interesting. It was kind of like. Guys, there's no answers. Okay. There's no answers.

This is one of those age-old questions. Oh, my God. There's zero results. on Google. Interesting. There's actually only about 8.9 million results. On Thanksgiving Day

in 1887. That won't give you the answer you're looking for it. Well, I'm actually just excited I can read it. I read it and it's nothing that would help us out here. Okay.

Also, when men play softball in old age, they're just like lobbing the ball, the pitcher and you watch these little girls whip in their arms around. They're just absolutely popping their shoulders. Well, what we've figured out Pussy into it.

They were, yeah. Yeah. And men can't, men can't do that. No, we really can't put our pussies into my own. Whoa. We definitely can't put it into a softball. Medically, I think that's what it comes down to. That we have our answer.

The power comes from the pussy. We've always said that. Pussy power. Yeah. I forget what I was going to say. Okay. No, I don't. Yes, I do.

Great. It came back for a second. Softball. Pussy power. Pussy power. Softball. Baseball. Baseball.

Growing men. Adult blonde. Adult blonde men. Adult blonde men. Oh, popping your shoulder. Once you hit our age, we've decided it's all, this is the age that we actually get an injury and it. I have to take care of it. It sticks with you.

It's no longer like, oh, I twist my ankle. It's going to be gone by this afternoon. It's like, I twist my ankle. If I don't go get this treated or if I don't ice it, like I'm stuck with a broken angle forever. I told you 27's the beginning of the end, medically speaking. I went and got a massage had to ask him to stop if you're hurting my back sir oh my god wait I didn't even I wanted to tell you guys about my massage okay so I usually get this woman okay and she never touched my butt whatever this guy fingers in my butt

crack like more than once where I was like clinching oh whoa the guy on the boardwalk yeah well there you have you go to a masseuse on the Venice boardwalk thank you great Why did you say it like that? And you're shocked that his fingers are in your butt. That's really something. Hey, it's an open air. That's like basically the last place in L.A. I would go for a massage.

I watched him clean the table before I put my skin to skin contact. Did you watch him clean his fingers? No, he had gloves on, Brooke. Don't be insane. So, wait, can you, like, I'm just curious how his fingers were close. So he's kind of, he's going from the side. And I paid close attention because I was just like, I need to like. Your senses were on.

Oh, wait. Oh, my God. You haven't even gone to the, the, the, crazy part is not even that he may have been taking it one step too far with my butt crack maybe but the thing that pushed me over the edge and i'm going to go to the one across from him next time is i thought he was guashewing my foot because he i paid for the extra 10 minutes on my feet and i i peaked i had my eyes close i peek it was his fingernail oh It was so long.

It was like a guasha. I had socks on. What? He was going, felt really good, and I had a sock on. He had a glove on, so no harm, no foul. But it was alarming to think that I'm getting guash on. Do you ever think that that's probably why he's growing his fingernails out?

Yeah, no. Or that purpose? Yeah. He was really nice. I tapped him. He's a human guasha. Yeah. He's the human guasha.

Oh, my God. Have you ever gwashed your face? Yeah. Yeah. I mean. I mean. I've done it like literally once. And when I did it, I was like, yeah, I'm not going to keep this one up.

That's just not my kind of thing. It's like a little bit too much work to do to yourself. It's like, guys, we are flossing, we're brushing our teeth. What more can I do at night? I'm exhausted. I need to see results on the first use or it's not a working product. You also have to go hard. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, these people like wash off, they're willing to really put some elbow grease into it. And I'm not. Your face is supposed to be red after. Right. Yeah, it hurts a little bit. Yeah. One thing that happened to me this weekend is I was picking my nose as I do on this podcast

yet, which I haven't today. You see someone's comment? Someone did pick up on that and I'm not going to apologize. Every episode word for word. Wondering if there's been an episode where he hasn't. I've been really mindful of it. Someone's doing the work. Yeah.

Yeah, to find that out. I'm like a guy that has nose hairs that like come out of my nose. I also think it's, oh. You do or don't? I do. We do too. We're fine. I'm kind of like, come on it.

one point we were cavemen yeah yes we can pick our we've like sure we closed it like we pee in bathrooms and stuff but it's like let us just pick our nose also we have fingernails for a reason that those things can do what tissues can yeah I hate when people say just blow your nose absolutely I guess what I can do with my own finger there's not a cue tip for your nose no oh oh although there should be and I've used one yeah there's a natural cue tip for your nose it's right here on my hand yeah and I agree And my number one hobby in the car, besides texting and driving, is picking my nose. Yeah. Right.

Oh, it's the best. Yeah. And my car has zero tent on my windows, so it's like I'm in a fishbowl, and I forget that a lot of times when I'm listening to my own podcast and picking my nose at a stop light. And I'm just like, going ham. That's the most at home I can feel. And then I look over and someone's just like, whoa. That's when you honk at them. Hey, fuck you.

What? What? Get out. Yeah, so I'm going to work on it, but I also wash my hands a lot. Yeah, totally. I think it's weird if you don't support that at this point. I don't. No, I'd be concerned to see someone's nostrils who doesn't pick their nose. Yeah. Ew. It's probably full of boogies. Show me your nostrils if you're so high and 90.

Seriously, because I'm, or at least, like, maybe there's just certain people where it's like, the boogers are not going to come out on their own. maybe some people's noses do work that way. Right. I'm going to need a scientist to tell me that. And we've never claimed to be a science podcast, but we will step in. I have one friend with huge nostrils.

Really? And he has a bugger problem. And I'm always like, you got a bugger. Wow. They just fall out of his nose like that? No, they're just so visible. I think it's probably not that he has a bugger problem. It's just that there's more nose to have more boogers.

More real estate. More real estate. Okay, I have a suggestion. Sure. Yeah. We've got a handful of minutes left. I would love to do some pop culture stuff with you. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I love. I love Grace's pop culture takes. Great. Let's see it. Oh, we forgot. We didn't do anything we wanted to. That's fine. We never do.

This is like the fastest we've ever flown through here. But. Louis Capaldi has a statue. Yeah. That's incredible. He deserves it. I think we start with Taylor Swift and Maddie Healy. Okay.

Oh, they've broken up. They broke up this morning. This morning. Yeah. How do you know that? I, you know, I've got my. my eye on the pulse of them. Yeah.

So Taylor Swift and Maddie Healy have broken up as of this morning. Twitter also said like they found out they weren't compatible. Like you don't you don't say that is so weird. I random. You guys but haven't we all dated someone where like all of our friends are like, don't. Like do not. I have something to say. Sure.

And it's not going to be well received by the masses. Why does she date like she's in high school? Because I feel like every person she's dating is so public. Define high school dating. Like you date someone for like two months and then you break up and you're immediately. She's like dating someone else or like. Yeah. And it's like whoever's most popular or most relevant or like homecoming king.

And then the like skater gets arrested. He's the coolest person in school now. And she starts dating him. Well, has she? What was Joe her longest relationship? Yeah. I think that was like six or seven years. I think she just is a relationship person.

Like some people just cannot be alone. Yeah. And then some people are the opposite. But it is, but I was thinking, I was also having this. Totally. And then you have some people. There's nothing like talking to my girls and to get some clarity about relationship.

Some people do this, but then other people just don't. Yeah. Exactly. And that's the human experience. Whoa, that's really insightful. Yeah. Oh, Grace, usually you have like an insight into celebrities. Yeah.

Like, what? My take on like, Taylor is just like, can she date someone who's not? famous though. That's how I feel about because she's literally billionaire. I believe she's like if not there she's like genuinely on the cusp. So like how could she date someone

normal? Somebody that's like a who's who did Sophia Richie? 740 million. Oh yeah. Date like Marry. Rich rich guy's son. Someone's some rich guy's son. She should date a rich guy's son.

She did date a Kennedy. A Kennedy. Yeah, but he was so young That was a rich guy son That was alarming What? Just like I couldn't figure out Never mind

What Nothing I'll tell you after Yeah I don't know I'm like Her dating Maddie Healy was like A fun cry for help You know what I mean

I agree Like I You're it was just fun for her I also think that it It was kind of fun to watch as well It was like watching a train rack You couldn't look away Because he's one of your crushes.

So, yeah. I love saying that as if, like, you know him really well. Well, sometimes what I have to do is, like, when I become, like, too obsessed, I put them in a space and just, like, kind of ignore them. So I've been doing that with, I've been doing that with him. Okay, God. Where I've kind of just put him in a box. Okay, sure. And through it a key.

100%. Okay. But I'm interested in unlocking it now that this is done. Right. It was hard for you to stay. in it when Taylor was getting in the way. A little. Yeah.

And that's so understandable, actually. Thanks, Grace. I need you get it. I did see Taylor Live, by the way. Whoa. Where? In New York? Yeah, MetLife Stadium or whatever.

She was, she's like insane. She really is. She was so, it was three hours. And she didn't stop. And I'm kind of like, if any other musician wants to talk shit about her, they better be doing three-hour concerts. agree or I'll shut the fuck up. No one is, by the way. No one is.

Were you seeing her here? Yeah, I am. Did you already get tickets? Yeah, I actually think I do like her. As much as I go back and forth. I like all of her stuff. I don't like Taylor Swift. No, I know. No one's ever said that. I'm talking to myself. I love Taylor Swift.

Me too. What I'm finding a little bit annoying is Taylor Swift fans. Yeah, of course. Which is what I'll say. Which is basically being like, I don't like 15-year-old girls. And that's not the group that I'm even referring. Yeah, I guess it's Taylor Swift fans in their 20s. It's a conspiracy and 30s as well.

The conspiracy theorists ones are... I mean, the gaylers are tough to... The gay tailors. Yeah, the gay fans who think that, yeah. I genuinely can... That's the whole fandom. And I say fandom, not like, I love... I do love Taylor Swift, and I would love to go see her live.

Yeah. I have all my friends... I'm looking forward to it. I think I've been asking it. The Disney adults are ruining it for me, truly. Yeah. It's a bad taste in my mouth. It's a really good point.

It's a hurting her a little bit, but not financially. They're like going to change the course of history with their fan behavior. I think you should go if you can. I'm going to. I'm going to get a ticket for here. I think I have an extra one for you. Oh, wonderful. Well, that made that easy.

Yeah, but I might not. Okay. So you should run for office. Does stuff Brooks say today? Well, it could be this or that. You sound like that. You haven't seen Veep. Have you seen Veep?

No. Oh, shit. There's a character in Veep that she hires to talk to basically they have. Did you just say House was in Veep? Yeah. He's one of her love interests. Julie Louise Louise Dreches. As British or American?

American. What can he do? Oh, he's so good in it too. And they fuck each other brains out. Really? And they show it. God. Julie Louis Draper is so funny.

She really is. I just saw that new movie with her. I heard it's really sweet. Yeah. What's it called? I hurt my feelings. You hurt my feelings. Very good.

It's either I or you hurt my feelings. You hurt my feelings. Yeah, it's one of it. Yeah, it was really sweet. I would recommend. You hurt my feelings. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. I love her. And I love, you know, my favorite part about it? Hour and a half. As a movie should be. Yeah, what do I need to take an Adderall before I go see a movie? Nowadays.

Although I will say the best movie I've seen this year was John Wick 4. and it was over three hours long. I thought you were going to say Dune. And I didn't want it to be even a minute shorter. Really? Mm-hmm. And I didn't know I loved murder so much. Is John Wick a murder story?

Yeah, basically, I think he must have killed at least 150 people in that movie. So he's bad. It was a blood bath. He's a vigilante? It's not vigilante. It's not black and white. There's some families that are grieving

after, through that movie. You know, we don't really get into that part. But it's a real story. No, no, definitely. It's so weird you said that because I just listened to the smartless episode with Kanye Reeves on it. Oh, yeah? It's really good.

Kianu? Yeah. What did you say before? Kanyu? Kanyu. I think I was thinking Kiyu. Kianu. I guess I never say his name out loud. Yeah.

You're only just typing or writing it with a heart around it. Yeah. I love him after listening to that. I don't really ever think about him. And then hearing him on that podcast. podcast, very cool. You know he's 58 years old? Yeah.

He's super nice. I've met him, actually. And I'm being dead serious. When? At the Beverly Hills Hotel. When I met Jimmy Fallon. Oh, wow. What a night.

Really fun. He was just taking pictures with all the waiters. Sorry. You're good. Were you a waiter there? No, when I say I met him, I meant I watched that happen. But he seemed really sweet. Burke meets a lot of people.

I do. I mean, he basically followed you on Instagram then at that point. Well said. I know he knew who I was. Of course. That's like when I saw Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon at Blue Bottle and I made an illegal U-turn and parked in front of a fire hydrant to sit next to them. And then Panic ordered a baguette at Blue Bottle because I didn't want a coffee and I just ate a whole baguette next to them thinking maybe the look up.

Afterwards, they're like, that poor guy next to us probably had no saliva left in his mouth after that baguette. What am I a pigeon eating a whole baguette? That's crazy. I've met Will Ferrell, too. Oh. He goes to my gym. I would love you because I just keep one-upping each other. No, I didn't even see him, though.

I just know that he goes to my gym. Really? Equinox, West Hollywood. Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell. Doesn't have a home gym? Goes really early in the morning. Will Ferrell should have a fucking home gym.

I'm telling you that's the thing that we're losing in our convenient lifestyles is the act of going and doing an activity. because if everything happens at home, you order food, you order groceries, you watch a movie on Netflix, you have the home gym. What happened to doing things? And meeting new people. That's what he's trying to do.

And following us back on Instagram. And follow me and like my video while you're added. And come on my podcast. Oh, I miss Joey King. She misses you, girl. I'm so sweet. Check your Instagram. She's all over. That's one of those things were like,

We freely talk about Joey King on here, and there's been people that we've talked about that see the stuff that we say on here. And it's on a stretch because... Yeah, I did something really bad. I'll tell you later, but... We've done things that have ended poorly. Oh, my...

Like about specific celebrities. Just her. Oh, God, that's really hard. That's really hard, and that shouldn't be allowed. It should be a really safe space. It should be. Yeah. So now I have to watch myself a little bit, just a little bit.

Right. Yeah. Just like, but also. Eh. Yeah. You gotta live your life. Yeah. I'm really curious before we wrap up here, I would need to see what Louis

Capaldi was honored with as a statue at his former. No. Actually, that is an art. That is a kind of art. No, I'm being that serious. That is what. I think it's really cool. No, that is a specific style.

That's like, literally crazy. Wait, I think that, I think it's cool, but it's like, like, wait,

I really love it. Like, being genuine, but it's so ridiculous. Yeah. I would kill myself. That's like,

I actually one time got a DM from someone who like does drawing similar to that. Wait, like, yeah, wait,

wait, wait, hang on, you got to pull your drawing up. Okay, because no way. This girl was like, I drew this photo of you.

It's like, one half of the face. I don't know. It was like two years ago. I don't know if I could find. I need to know if it was the same person. Okay, tell me the profile of yours. I think we'll be able to tell from like a style perspective if it was or if it wasn't the same person.

It really scared me. It says here, I drew you. Oh my God. Is it the same person? Is it? It's not, but it's so similar. You have three mouths. That's a biblically accurate fibula.

I'm going to find mine. Mine is a charcoal drawing. Oh. It might take me. That's just the style. I'll find it and I'll send it to you guys. I'm not going to be able to find it today. But it was really dry.

If I was on shrooms, it would make me cry. Same with Lewis's statue. I know. Do we have a reaction from him? Has he said anything? He just announced today that he's taking an extreme break from tour. So I wonder if that has something to do with it. No.

Oh. There's pain. Yeah, there's pain in his eyes. Two thumbs up. I thought it was just his face this whole body. I don't know if I've ever confidently gone like this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, he kind of does seem like a few thumbs up guy. Oh. Oh, people have really not let him get away from himself.

Damn. Well, sad. Yeah. And he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, so true. My high school will never acknowledge that I am alive. No, I had friends the other day

asked me if I was going to our 10-year high school reunion and I said, how would I have known it was happening? Right. And they said your email, I don't have an email from them. So that was a bummer. I don't subscribe. I feel the same way. Also, I ran for class president, like

senior year, obviously, and I did not win. I could tell that way you started that sentence. Yes, by the way. And I realized recently that the class president of your senior year has to plan every correspondence that you have with your high school forever. If you like five year, 10 year, everything. So I'm so, so, I don't know how they would enforce that.

I think it's the honor system. Sure. But the way that I would fake my own death to get out of planning my 10 year high school reunion. That would be really hard for you too. Yeah, that's awful. Oh my God. I mean, I don't know if I'll go. I think that's probably just your school.

I mean no that sounds right to me I've never heard that I mean someone has to plan it and that happened at my college I went to my five year union last year and um the like president of my senior class like gave a speech and was like

thank you guys for all coming I'm so excited for all the activities that we planned she really had to do some stuff damn yeah I think ours would more so be yeah I mean the class president that's completely the case yeah I Forever

I think as a prank I would Yeah you'd have to Like let a colony of bats go In the auditorium With everyone there I'd do laser tag

Okay Well different Different strokes for different books You know I was never allowed in to play Laser Tag When all the kids had their birthday party The Laser Tag plays Why?

Because you had to be 4'8 Yeah Oh Mm-hmm So I would sit out I would sit out by myself You dodge a bullet Because Laser Tag

As fun as it's sounds is probably one of the worst human experiences possible. The guns are always broken. Yeah. The vests you're wearing are 50 pounds. It's so hot. Well, I would have liked to experience it and make that decision for myself. It's exhilarating.

I will say it's exhilarating because you do have that fear. Yeah. You're forming alliances. It's pitch black. But the thing is. Double agents? I was a double agent. I'm sure you were.

You can't trust me. But guns never worked. It always smelled like B-O because everyone's wearing very, very true teen spirit. Yeah. And I mean, the germs on those guns must be absolutely unpego. Oh, that's where COVID started, probably laser-tap. Yep, I'm pretty sure. And they always pumped smoke into the ones I was at.

And I remember being like, I can't breathe. No, and the way that the lighting is, like, it's not a dark room. They specifically, it's like black lights. It's black lights. So it's like, oh no, my vision is going bad. Right. Like, you're going cross-eyed. Yeah.

Yeah. And then the laser's not getting. You're like, I swear I just, I swear I just leveled up. Put you in some platform sneakers though, Brooke? I don't think that would have even gotten me to 4-8. Really? I don't think so. How tall are you now?

Well, I say I'm five foot, but I'm really 4-11, but I'm really 4-10 and three-quarters. Gotcha. I think. But at that age, which I wear every day, I'm a, I mean, I'm a platform for a girl as well. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys, that just reminded me on Friday, we were going to this bar near where I live, and one of my friends was in sandals because it was so nice out.

We were all just, like, out on the beach all day. As in flip-flops? Flip-flops. And it was a guy who's in flip-flops. And I know everyone has very strong opinions on men in flip-flops. But he was in flip-flops, and we go to the bar, and it's next to the beach. You think they'd be okay. They're like, can't come in and flip-flops.

And so I go into the bar, and I ask my other friend, pop your shoes off. I'm going to tuck them in the back of my waistband, and I'm going to walk out and walk back down the street and give them to him behind there. So I walk back, I walk out, I tuck them in my waistband on my back, and I walk back up, and they let me on the,

they stop me go, what the fuck is in your, what did you shove in here? What are you bringing in? I go, it's shoes for my friend. You guys let him in when I went to put these in my pants back there, and I got to bring my friend his shoes back. He's in there and his socks, and they go, you're a really good friend.

Oh, my God. And they let me back in. I was like, well, you guys are good bouncers for letting him in his flip-flops. Because one, no girls are going to talk to him in there. And two, he is inside. And now he can have a pair. Wow. That's a beautiful story.

That's so sweet. Well, it's really just like something else for them to discover that I have a second pair of sneakers in my waistband. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I thought the flip-flops were in your waistband. No, tennis shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the friends.

Fejas, specifically. Do you say Vahas? Vajas. Vahas. What did I say? I heard Fahas. Oh, I'm sorry. Vah.

Vahas. I know those. Do you say tennis shoes or sneakers, Grace? I think I say sneakers. I had never heard anyone say tennis shoes before I moved here. And, Connor, you're from California, right? Yeah. Because you say, no, I'm not.

I'm so sorry. You're not at all? I'm from Texas. Okay. I don't know why I said, yeah. I can't trust the word. No, you really can't. Well, I was going to do a bit, and then I was like, I don't know what she's going to ask, so no, Texas.

Well, I was, the reason I asked that is just because I've gotten a lot of shit in my adult life for saying sandals when I'm referring to flip flops. Yeah. Because people are like, you mean flip flops. And I'm like, well, yeah, but those are the same as sandals to me. Well, my mom called, and my mom is from Southern California. Thank you. Is, calls them thongs still. I was just about to talk about thongs.

I have to be like, what I don't know what you're talking. I love that. I have no idea why. You're in your thongs? I'm like, no, I don't actually, I don't own a thong. I didn't know why they were called thongs until the other day when I was wearing flip-flops and they were hurting my crack so bad in my toes. And I was like, oh my God, that's why they're-

Put it together yourself. That is why they're called thongs because they're in your crack. Through pain. Yeah. Beauty is pain. You thought, I felt this before. Yeah. But where?

Farm over function. My grandparents call them thongs, and they call Monday, Monday. Yeah. And they call crayons crowns. So I've heard that. Those are both pronunciations and one is a phrase. Right? Like Monday.

Or is Monday. Monday. It's not a phrase. It's a word. That's a pronunciation of the word. You're saying thong is just a different way to say. That's a different. Just like a totally different word.

Okay. Well, I'm just making a conversation. Right. Well, this is a podcast after all. We got to do that. Yeah. Personally, from a personal perspective, I have to pee so bad. Well, I was thinking, do you have anywhere to be great?

No. Maybe we could make like a second half and make it tomorrow's episode. Does that make sense? Why don't we just have a stay for the bonus? Yeah. Grace, do you want to stick around for bonus? I think I would love to actually. I think I would really like that as well.

I love doing this podcast solo with you. I really like that too. Kind of like a chance for me to talk a little bit. Um, but okay, well, Grace, Cool, Inchement, thank you so much for coming. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? You can find me on, follow her on Instagram. Yeah, Instagram at G Coolinchman. And I have a new podcast with my friend Joe Castle Baker, uh-huh, wherever you find podcasts.

And that's it. I love Joe. How tall is Joe? Oh my God, six, five. That's insane. Yeah. I'd love to meet, Joe. It's pretty, oh, my God, it'll be really beautiful in his meat and your eye's hip.

Yeah, I would really like that. I love being at people's hips. Well, well, Grace is staying for voting. Thanks for having me. Yeah, thank you for coming. No problem. We'll see you in the bonus. This week on Close Friends.

I feel like no one's talking about Dandruff. The only science that has gone into Dandruff is head and shoulders. They gave up after that. You know how provide a little bit... 91% chance I have wet, sticky earwax. What in the world? I don't. What's the alternative?

Dry flaky earwax. I think I have that. I caught witches holding a carcice eating ritual on my security camera. People have identified what would dream. it is. That's why I like New York. Like, if I looked out my window and I saw, you know, those witches, I'd be like, well, at least 50 other people are seeing this.

Yeah. It's not that crazy to see a witch in New York. No, it's not. Sign up on TMG Studios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.