Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - BNCMAP For Once

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor talk about the shapes of the week, Jacob Elordi in the new Frankenstein, and Connor’s intimate massage in Philly. Plus, they debate the purpose of a handkerchief and celebrate ugg season!  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! Shop the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at https://www.skims.com/bnc Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes?  Buy a pack of Goodwipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to https://goodwipes.com/BNC, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Get up to 40% Off your entire order at https://laundrysauce.com/BNC. Don’t miss their biggest sale of the year! #laundrysaucepod Ready to quit for good? Go to https://quitwithjones.com/BNC to start your personalized quitting journey and get $10 off with code BNC. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Canadian Tuxidos 01:02 Debunking Catching a Cold 05:02 Colors of the Week 09:30 Stickers are Wonderful 11:27 Showing out in Philly 13:22 Frankenstine 18:45 HelloFresh 20:29 Skims 21:32 Where is the Soul? 23:04 Ms Mary Shelly 26:16 Getting Closet Hair Cuts 30:57 Addicted to the Phone 33:23 Moulin Rouge  38:25 Goodwipes 39:45 Laundry Sauce 41:40 Quit with Jones 43:30 Handkerchiefs  48:22 Traveling with Cats 50:27 Hotel Living  52:08 The Elderly 56:36 Horoscopes 1:00:19 IG Story Regret 1:02:18 Massages in Philly 1:06:32 Raccoons 1:07:59 See You in Bonus!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Who's that vision in denim over there overseas? I'm in a tux. Oh my gosh. North, let's take this thing north of the border for a second. Do you mind? Yeah, I'm doing Canadian tucks. It's only seven, it's only going to be 79 today. Are you serious? It was 85 yesterday. Beach, beach weather. Beach weather. Imagine me seeing like all the snapshots of everybody cozyed up in New York. It's raining. It's snowing in Chicago. We'll just do 85. And I'm not complaining because like I did sign up for this and I do love the climate.

But just sometimes it's like a punch to the gut. No, I get it. Yeah. That's what I always, I always thought that when I was there, I was like, I kind of, I miss. The way that the weather app is completely obsolete in L.A. is so, so crazy. It is going to be in the 60s later this week, which will be amazing. And it's going to rank. It's so amazing.

And it's going to write. I had to get out my puffer today. Yeah. Talk dirty to me. Yeah. I slipped on something a wee bit more comfortable with my puffer. And then guess what? Do you like the person you are when you put on the ugs?

Are you doing ugs right now? I didn't, I can't do ugs right now because the thing about my apartment is that they turned on the heat and it's against my own will. And I don't know. And so now my AC and my heat, which like my heat is like like a mystery goblin that like comes and goes as it wants. I never signed up for heat. I know heat is amazing blessing to have in a home, but like shut the fuck up about it. It is the loudest, most chang, chang, chang, it turns on all night and it goes, clank, clank, clank. I don't even know.

Oh, so you have a radiator. Yeah, I have like six radiators. And then my hot pipes that are ever done. Oh, your hot pipes. I used to put, and like, I'm sure this is a fire hazard, like, y'all don't even need to come for me. But my towels on the hot pipes and the radiator. And when I would come out of the shower, the towel would be like spa hot. So that's like something to think about

I had not considered that as an option Yeah it was amazing The hot pipe in my bathroom is working overtime The thing is it's just a little bit too hot To the point where I'm getting a cold And I can feel myself getting a, I'm gonna get a fever No Because I'm gonna get sick

Because I'm going in and out of this I think that's a myth I think so too Yeah Maybe like extreme extreme like frostbite cold Will make you sick But like When moms are like

Don't go out in the rain you'll catch a cold. Like, I don't think you will. Wow. That mom, whatever mom made up that wives tale and then whatever Drew Barrymore was on, Molly probably when she was outside in that rainstorm, they should get into it together because they would have a heyday. Yeah, it's just a wives tale. Moms against going out in the rain versus Drew Barrymore, a court case. Cold weather can increase your chances of getting sick by weakening your immune system and making it easier for viruses to enter your body.

You're fine. I don't think my immune system has ever been 100%, but I'm doing the best I can. And so is it, do you think about, do you think about your body and all of its parts? It's like their own little individual pieces? When you start to think about your body in depth, like it's a little bit too much.

I think about my immune system as like, as like a group of people that like are working on something. And like, I sometimes I make things harder for them. Factory? Yeah. Or like, you know, when I have Chipotle, and it's like, of all my, stomach just better pick up the pick it up down there like I don't it's I'm already gonna eat I

already I'm all my way there and I'm gonna get it and I'm gonna get casso on it and I'm gonna get straight of cheese on top of the casso which I can do that that's my right but I it's something that my stomach's gonna have to deal with not me you know do you know what I mean in a way like do you think of like your organs as their own entities sometimes if I stub my toe I'm like that's annoying of my toe no I think I kind of think of my body as a whole really mm-hmm this has been fascinating because I who was I talking to

recently? Like when I think about like the months My stomach does have a mind of its own. My stomach's going going rogue. I think it'll like the months of the year maybe not as much the months

of the year but like when I'm writing like a joke the structure of the joke is in shapes. I don't know how to explain it. I won't be able to explain it. But someone else was explaining the way that they write jokes

and they're like what are you talking about? it's just a sentence. And I was like, oh, but it's not. What are your colors that correspond to each day

of the week? So I was so scared you're going to ask the subjects. And I was like, we're not going to be a podcast that asks like the school subjects colors.

No, no, no, like the days that... I just like see like Monday is blue. Okay. Tuesday?

Yellow? Yep. Yep. So far. Wow. Wednesday is... Pink? Wednesday is like pinkish to me.

Wednesday? I feel like it could be. It's round to me. It's a circle. No. Wednesday's a triangle. Wednesday's a triangle. But it's definitely one thing Wednesday's not a square. No. That's something we can agree on. Yeah. I think we can all, I could see Wednesday being a little triangular because it's not quite round. I don't know, but I also think Thursday could be a turn. Could be orange and that's like the best I can give you. Okay. Orange or salmon. I like salmon. If we could land on salmon, it would be cool with moving forward. Because I think Thursday could be orange. I think Thursday's purple or magenta. Okay, I can wrap my head around purple for Thursday. Friday, I'm not going to like whatever you. Green.

Are you saying green for Friday? Yeah. But more of like a lighter green than you might be used to. Or a deep one. I could see maybe an olive or... Not olive. Oh my gosh. I think you're neither like forest or more like light tree.

tree leaf. Okay. I don't know what's sad. I think Saturday would be yellow for me and then Sunday would be like violet. Saturday I'm like back to it. Like Saturday's like light blue whereas Monday is like deep blue. And then Sundays of like I don't know why I'm seeing Sunday is like such a light pink that it's almost beige. Like a nude.

Oh, a beige Sunday sounds kind of lovely. Sunday's a complete nude. A neutral. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Oh.

That's my shit right there. I would love. love like an online test where you like fill out like what colors correspond to things in your brain and then the test tells you like what that says about how your brain works. Yeah, that'd be fascinating. It's almost like I don't want to know. There should be more tests to tell me how my brain works. Do you want that?

Wow. Yeah. Because if I know how it works, maybe I could navigate it. I'm liking raw dogging the brain situation. No. wouldn't you like want to know how it works so you can follow strategies that are like meant for your specific brain and how to cope with its flaws? You think I want one more strategy in this life? I think you could use a strategy.

For Virgos, I'm reading this off of the board right off of the chartboard right now. For Virgos, this mercury retrograde is all about slowing down, turning inward and refining your routines instead of rushing ahead. So I think you can do some refining. So here are some good moves for you. Review rather than start. Use this time frame to go over past ideas, old projects, and unfinished business. I think that's an amazing thing for you to do.

And deep rest and reflection. Since this may be more of an introspective period for you, carve out space for meditation, journaling, dream work, and quiet time. You might need a hobonichi. It sounds like it might be needing a hobonichi. You might be needing a hobonichi. I told you me and Matt.

Wait, last episode me and Matt were going. Mm-hmm. Okay, we went hobonichi shopping. You should have come. You should have flown for that. I should have. Maybe when you guys have sort of like the reins of your hobos, niches. Your niches.

You got your niches and your hobos. Maybe you guys could take me, maybe show me the ropes when I get out there. I bet honestly there's so much. more like stationary options in New York. It was kind of a bust, honestly, here. Oh, no. Yeah.

To be in your car and parking and getting out for it to maybe to find your HN. Like that's not something that. It was like almost a complete load of bullshit. Ugh. You got one though. Well, I got it. I had ordered it online and I was going to get more of like accessories and see what sparked my eye.

I barely got a thing. Connor. I got one sticker. Oh, that'd piss me off. but you got a sticker I got a sticker because I want to decorate my Hobonichi did you know about sticker

planet yeah where is it online nope there's a massive sticker store in the farmer's market of the grove

oh I'm not familiar I have yet to go but I'm obviously going to go now that I'm on sticker talk and all that shit. There's a massive sticker emporium in the farmer's market of the grove. So that's where I'm going to get my stickers from my Hobonichi.

I'm so excited. What's going down on sticker? There's nothing they don't have at the grove. I'm serious. The grove is cool. It does seem like every time I'm there I find a new little pocket. Exactly.

Like I haven't even walked past sticker emporium planet. Galaxy. Yeah. Um, I used to love stickers, man. This is actually my first apartment. This is my first apartment where I don't have

like a dedicated area to put stickers on. Whoa. Since I was born. My mom allowed me my space in my room inside my closet on the inside of the door to do my stickers. Aw, that's a good mom.

Yeah, so like... Your creative space. Yeah, it's so interesting that... Yeah, because like I'm cluttered but my clutter is in, is very... In one place. So, like, I have my clutter areas.

Like, my shelving now is my clutter area. My friend used, would fill her walls every inch of them with duct tape murals. I don't know what that is. Like duct tape, it was like insane. Like think about like a huge like color by number. And like she would make murals out of duct tape like all different colors. And it would actually come out like the whole wall would be a mural. That would stress me out.

But that is cool that she did that. Yeah. Some people are really creative. Some people can't. And you're allowed to be in this, in this. day and age. You totally can be. Anyway, how was your weekend and shit like that?

I was in Philly. That looked beautiful. Philly was really showing out this weekend. It was so great. I was walking through, I walked all around Philly because I had the whole day. Where did you walk?

On Saturday. I walked from Fishtown. Okay. And I walked all the way across, like from the water to the water. to the water. Okay. And I don't know what waters those were.

Fishtown, like, I am not really familiar with Fishtown at all or where it is in reference to anywhere else. Because I feel like Fishtown randomly just sprouted up, like, when I was in college. Fishtown is, like, 3D printed. It is cool, but it's also, like, I don't understand it at all. It was like every, every, like, there was no, there was no, I couldn't get a read on it. I can't. I'm right there with you. But I was driving through Philly and I was like, this is like nodding hill, low key.

Like it was very, uh, very like not downtown London. But like, London. You're like, yeah, this was one of the original 13 colonies. I forgot that. I completely forgot that that was like one of the first ones. Yeah. It's kind of beautiful. That's what I don't, we don't have in L.A. history.

Something is living in my walls, unless it's a heat turning on. Can you hear that? You know who's living in the walls. Spoiler alert. Actually, I'm not going to say. But it's an amazing piece of film. Frankenstein? No.

But let's just say one of my favorite movies, let's just say someone's living in the walls. I did watch Frankenstein a little bit. The new one? Yeah. I only made it halfway because it's about 16 hours. Why are they doing that? And when I stopped watching probably like an hour and a half in and Jacob Alorti just started.

Like he wasn't animated to life. Oh. That's redundant, but he wasn't brought to life until like 1.30. Yeah, that's not going to work for me. I know. I was looking forward to seeing him a little bit sooner. That face of his in the Frankenstein thing, it's really not sitting right with me.

It's making me, it's giving me kind of that visceral feeling where. Oh, I see. I feel like he's still hot. Mark my words. We're going to see like one out of four people as him for next Halloween. I don't think so. Mark my words. It's like still,

it's basically still Halloween right now. No, but it's not. And so people are going to be like, oh, this is such a good idea because it happened so long ago. No one's going to be thinking about it, but this time next year. But I think everyone will be.

I've been Frankenstein like 15 times for Halloween. You haven't been this Frankenstein. I don't want to be that Frankenstein. It's a specific, like he has a specific little number going on. He looks like when you forget about meat in the fridge for a long time. And then you're like, oh my God. Also, I don't understand how this hasn't been done before, like reanimating a human. He looks like evil.

It's not awesome. Evil Gaultier, but you didn't want to do. When Oscar Isaac was explaining, like, how he was bringing this person back to life. Obviously, I, like, got a 59 on most of my physics. Izzy, please. But I was like, but I was like, yeah, Oscar Isaac, this makes sense to me. Like, why haven't we done this? Like, I feel like I could do it. Do what? Reanimate a person. Like, it doesn't make sense to how we haven't done it. Because when he was explaining it, I was like, yeah, champ, sounds good to me.

I don't think you have it in you to reanimate a person. But someone should. That's what I'm saying. Like, when he was, like, the fact that we have the number. knowledge to create a fictional version. Like someone knows enough. Mary Shelley knew enough and all these people rewriting these screenplays know enough to at least explain the science behind reanimating a person. So like why can't scientists take that and do a little bit more?

Applied nitrogen. Toxide to it. Put it in park. Triple it. Frankenstein. I mean, I don't understand how we're not doing that. If we're talking,

if we're talking dead ass right now, you could take someone's body, upload every video of them from social media or whatever, and then AI it and make that just like, but it wouldn't be like a living breathing. I'm not talking about AI. I'm talking about genuinely rebooting the circulatory system. I think, like, it doesn't make sense to me that we haven't done it.

You know what? I want to apologize to you. Yeah. I want to apologize to you right now. I am stepping on your toes. Like, I am Sir Isaac Newton. I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah.

Reanimate someone. Leave it to the experts. I triple dog dare you to Ria. See if I give a shot. I'm not saying I could, even though yes a few minutes ago. I said I could. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that someone should be able to.

We have enough knowledge to put it into practice. Here's the thing. You've now reanimated someone. Something that someone hasn't done since. Should is different than could. What did I say? I'm just saying. Just because someone could doesn't mean we should,

but I'm saying someone could do it. And so why haven't they? Should have could or would. I think that's probably the principle at play. Yeah. But I think if you are going to reanimate someone, which hasn't happened since biblical times, maybe spend a little time on the cosmetics.

Why make him scary? Why not make... I think it just wasn't his main priority was bringing someone's alive. Well, I'm sorry. so shallow hal. We would need a plastic surgeon like on board. Just send him over to Ulta.

First mission, Ulta. Get some, get some, just fix like there shouldn't be so many things on his going on. Was it just? Well,

you think about like, every single part is from a different, like he's got so many different parts on him. From so many different bodies. Bodies, bodies, bodies, bodies. Because he was collecting bodies from the war. And just doing it.

Here's an arm here. Here's a leg here. Here's a torso. So. I haven't seen the movie. Yeah. I'm just letting you know. Okay.

I mean, now like here's the way my brain works, I'm like poking holes in the Frankenstein plot line, which like it's just simply not a real movie anyways. But like why if he was collecting bodies from the war, like why not just go dig one up and get to the all, all of it is there. Make it easier.

He was looking for someone with. really long limbs. So I think he was like finding the longest bit of everyone. If you know what I mean. I'm kidding. I actually don't know what's under there for Frankenstein.

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Look for the seal. Real California milk. I'm just saying like, I don't know, maybe it was because I had a gummy, but Oscar Isaac was telling me how to do this. And it's like, if we know how to do it. do it in a way. Let's just do it. I'm on your side down. Like you, you did win me over during this conversation. I agree. But what would you want to, what would be the purpose for you to bring,

bring to animate like a corpse? I'm not, I would actually probably bring my grandparents back. They are immortal, but like, God forbid, something would happen. I would bring them back. Or I would, I would not like to be brought back in the, in a Frankenstein. Would you? I'm just confused Like so like I never thought about Frankenstein in depth like this So I don't really know What is he?

What is you? Like your brain? Where is your soul? I don't know where your soul lives Inside of your body I picture souls like Scooby-Doo The Spooky Island

Like when they were kind of flying All around And entering each other's bodies See I picture the soul Like right in the center of my stomach area, which is weird because that means like when I eat Chipotle, it's like sitting there next to my soul, which is like, that's so weird. But, um, because then you have your heart and then you have your brain, which is so creepy. And I don't want to talk about this anymore. Okay.

Um, what I will say is that someone DM me and said, you look exactly like Mary Shelley. And then I looked at Mary Shelley and then that changed the way my weekend played out. Let me see, Mary. Show me Mary. Show me. Mary Shelley. Come on out Mary Shelley. You don't look like Mary Shelley.

Also, we don't even know if Mary Shelley looked like that. All of the images seem pretty much accurate with that one. Some look different than others. I don't look like that, I hope. No offense, Mary, if you're watching. I feel like there was maybe just like one page. of her and then people went off of that one meeting. Who was Mary Shelley in the movie?

Sorry. Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein. Oh. Sorry. It's a good question. It was a good question. Thank you for asking. I thought that was like the wife of Frankenstein.

No, all good. I don't want to make you feel like you can't ask questions. No, it's okay. I was like, what is so good about this? All right, all right, Mary Shelley. Is she one of your women that you look up to? Sure. I do think it's so awesome that a woman wrote Frankenstein

because I guess you just wouldn't expect it. I wouldn't have expected it at all. Yeah. I love surprises, especially when they come from powerful women. I get very tripped up on that word. You know that. Women. Woman versus women.

I really get confused. because I had been pronouncing them the same my whole life until someone on the pod very early on was like, you're not saying these right? And I was like, you're so right. But now I, sometimes I still get confused. It's okay to be confused.

But it's not confusing also. But I think is it just the way that you're pronouncing it? What's tripping you up? I used to say woman across the board. Well, the way that people in Philly pronounce their A is like, I would, I do understand how like it is hard. But that doesn't make sense because listen to how it sounds, a group of women.

Like, that's wrong. But that's what I would say. So it's whi. But why would it be women? That's not how it's spelled. Women. Spell it W-I-M-I-N if that's what you want me to say. Oh, yeah.

You're making some super valid points today. Thanks. I don't know. Maybe we could, if anyone can help out there. Let a bitch know. Let a women know. Let a little women like me know. Little women.

Is that how you would say that? Little women, yeah. Why are we saying women? I don't know. It's just like no one told me that until recently. Don't even stress that about it. I'm just like feeling a little bit proud of myself because before you got here, before the episode,

I made a phone call to the hairdresser. And that's a good thing for two reasons. One, after I got my bangs last week, I cut them again myself and I did something pretty bad. Why did you do that? I don't know. I wanted more. And so for whatever reason, I cut like a chunk from the top of my head. And now there's like a random like piece of really short hair coming out of the middle of my scalp that I don't like.

So I called to get that fixed today, which is good because one, I made a phone call. and I don't like to do that. Two, I was feeling too embarrassed that I did that. And so I wasn't, I was just going to let it be. But you know what? No, life is too short to have a botched haircut. Yeah. So I advocated for myself on the phone.

Did you admit to them that you cut your hair? He said, I said, hi. Does Carla have any time for a bang trim? And he said, let me go check. I said, you can just let her know if you want to prepare her that I cut them myself and it looks really bad. And he said, got it. Was she offended?

I don't think so. I didn't talk to her directly. She's a great person, so I don't think she will be. I would, yeah. I'm just going to tell her like you did such a good job. I wanted more, which is the truth. I couldn't get, after that first hit, I couldn't get enough. You gave me a, and what's annoying about that is I thought I was being so good, and I was

by being patient enough to wait for a haircut appointment because I wanted to do them myself before. But I was so good and booked an appointment. and she did amazing and then and then I took Matterton into my own hands. I mean you can't be, you can't be cutting your own hair because it's supposed to grow out a certain way. I learned that.

You can't be cutting your own hair unless you're good at cutting hair. Yeah, that's true. I don't think that's a new man. That's like a male man situation. Like there's a new mailman that delivers your mailman's mail. Like he's delivering it to your house.

And while he's gone, there's a different mailman. He's not delivering his own mail. I don't think unless he's, your neighbor. You're saying that a hairdresser gets someone to cut their hair? Yeah. I know a lot of hairdressers that cut their own hair.

They're not doing the old reach around. I guess they're just doing bang trims. Yeah. My hair is to a place where if I fell down the stairs, it wouldn't hurt my head. I wouldn't. It's so, so out of control and huge under this beanie that I look like I have the suds right now. because I kind of do feel that way.

Yeah, it's so big. I need to get it cut a little smaller. Hair so big. Hair so big. Needs smaller. It needs to be smaller. But I kind of am just in a place where I don't want to go back to my current. Right.

I finally, after five years, I just found the one. So it might take time. I have not had the one in so long. Did you feel like the one? one we used to go to in the closet was the one for you. Whoa, Brooke. I forgot about that. Damn, I miss him.

I miss going to the same barber as Connor. Me and Brooke are going to an underground barber in the back of a garage. You had to walk around the back through the alley. Yeah. Twice there was men pooping back there and I had to walk. And I was like, oh my God. Sorry. Yeah, twice, two separate men pooping.

That's bad. By the dumpster. But I guess that's why they call it the dumpster. Although what's amazing is it's right next to Petco where I got Jonathan. So it's like I didn't even know what was coming for me when I was getting my hair cut in that closet all those years ago. I didn't know I was going to meet my son just next door in a few years. I wonder if that young man listens to the podcast. There's no way.

No wait. Not only you and I, you, me and Jack Martin. Yeah. I miss getting my haircut with my brothers at the barber. Oh, that's crazy to think about. And that Pecco is also where we went when we were really depressed. Yeah, and looking for frogs. And they were fresh out.

Fresh out. We called every morning. Who was buying all the frogs during COVID in West L.A? I don't know. We didn't, we do not live, I did not, we were not in West L.A. West Hollywood? Yeah. Who was buying all the frogs in West, in WeHo?

I don't know. I don't like that. I think there just weren't I need to begin with. I think there was a shortage because of COVID and whatnot. What did you do this weekend? I didn't even see. I don't know what anyone's been up to. I don't know what anyone's doing.

I don't know where anyone's going. I'm in holiday mode already. I was on my phone for a pretty good bit this weekend. I know that I talk about being addicted to my phone. It's like not funny and it's like very bad and it's like really affecting my life. And I don't know what to do and I'm being really serious. and I have my lockbox and that's not enough. So I don't know what to do.

I'm just saying that. I was on, I was with you for that for a while and now I'm back to like, it's actually a chore for me to like open Instagram and see. And I know exactly what happened, what made me do that switch. Yeah. And it's also not healthy.

Yeah. So, and I'm not going to say what it was. Yeah. But it's, it's bad. I just want everyone to know that like when you see that I'm always on my phone. Like, no, it's not a choice.

And it's, I don't mean to, to disrespect anyone by being on my phone 100% of the time. It's just like a problem. Very serious problem. Like, I want to pick it up right now. So bad. I'm not going to. But it's really, really, really, really bad. You know, it's going to blow your mind?

And I'm not even doing anything on it. I'm just checking good reads. Which no one posts on. Oh, that's so fascinating. Yeah. I've got a Zillow thing. going on right now that I can't shake. Are you moving?

But, yeah. Wow. I'm thinking about Winnipeg. In Canada? Mm-hmm. Why? I don't know. I love Canada.

Oh, you know what I did this weekend? Wait, hang on really quick while we're on the phone talk. I got in bed the other night. No phone. And I realized I was like, oh, crap, my phone. And I go, I'm so comfy. I'm not going to get up. I just think I was in the bathroom or something.

just went to sleep. Is that crazy? I wouldn't sleep without my phone. Did you not need an alarm? Like, I couldn't. I can't go to... I could get an alarm clock, but... I wake up pretty consistently at the same time,

but I also didn't have anything super early, so if I were just accidentally sleep in rogue, it wouldn't be detrimentally late in a day where it would have been inflicting on anything I had going on. That's so nice, Connor. What'd you do? besides my phone I went to see Mulan Rouge

Are you familiar with that piece? I know the name of it It was a movie with Nicole Kidman in like 2001 or something I've seen the poster Yeah probably A lot of people that like Move into their first post grad Home or apartment

Always get the Mulan Rouge poster Really? Wait Am I on I? I think are you just talking about those French posters? Yeah. I don't think, yeah, that doesn't have anything to do with Milan Rouge.

And talking about those French posters. Yeah. I'm talking about in it. I totally know what you mean about the French posters. This is separate. Yeah. Yeah. Why'd you watch that?

I went to the theater in L.A. Went to the Pantages theater. What theater is playing? There's like theater in L.A. Like touring companies. and stuff. And they were playing a movie? No, it was a show. So it came to Broadway in 2019 and now it's touring. Okay, well, I was like, what is that? It was a movie with Nicole Kidman.

Right. So, yeah, there was a movie. Then it came to Broadway. It's touring. But I think it's still on Broadway. Maybe not. I don't know. But the whole time I was just thinking, my God, Connor would hate this. Why would I hate it? It's a jukebox. A jukebox? A jukebox? musical, which means that it's songs that already exist. So I bet I want to watch the movie because I bet the song selection was like good oldies, which some of them are still in the musical version. But there were a lot of recent pop hits. So for example, like the lead would burst out in like a rendition of Katie Perry's

firework, but make it like more musical theatery. What is a plot? It like doesn't even matter. The plot is just like they're this this like burlesque club. It's called Milan Rouge and they don't have any money. So then the manager of the club promises their crown jewel of a performer, Satine, to the Duke. And he's basically like, give us money and I'll give you Satin. And Satin's like, that's fine.

Like I want I want the club to have money to. and but she's also coughing a lot so then it's like oh something might be going on with sateen and then this other guy Christian is like wait I'm in love with sateen a lot like a very good amount and then sateen is in love with christian but remember she was promised to the duke in exchange for him financing the club right and she's still coughing okay so then at the end she's like oh i don't want to be with the duke christian i love you

coughs dies and at what point does Katie Perry's firework fit into that I don't even know but you know what I did really like so that like no one can take away from me

what shut up and dance was in it um it's amazing it's like just like acting acting like oh she's coughing whatever oh don't you dare hold back no way. Yes, it was amazing. Well, what was I was thinking, shut up and dance, dance, dance.

But then there was kind of like battles too. Like I need to play one for you in the bonus. Like they'd be like, I can't think of it right now. It'd be like, shut up and dance with, I want to swing from the chandelier. You don't actually need to show me that. It was awesome. But I really was like, oh my God. John Connor would die. You don't even need to show me that at all. No, I do. No. I loved it.

And I added a new John to my collection, the main guy, John Cardozo. What a star. Oh, and this is in the play. Yeah. Do they change the music? They changed it from the original movie to add new pop songs. But they kept some like, getchie, getchy, yeah, isn't it? And your song by Elton John.

Wow. Yeah. But I want to watch the movie because it's probably better songs. That sounds so horrible. But they managed to pick all the, like, Chuggy is maybe not the right word, but like chugie-iest pop songs. Like, it was like,

Firework, Chandelier, Razier Glass. Royals by Lord. It was really interesting choices. That feels like everything that would play at the DMV it was kind of, it was really an amazing selection in a way. I did enjoy it. That's just so insane to me. Well, good. That's fun.

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These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Did you stay off your phone for the whole show? Yes, yes. I did. That's good. Maybe your answer is you need to seem to be in the theater at all.

I know, but like it's not like I wasn't thinking about my phone. I really was like, I would love to Snapchat during Chandelier. I was like, this is something I want people to hear. That's nasty. Like I wanted to blow that out to you. Yeah, I would have questioned what you were doing, listening to Chandelier at a time like this. I also feel okay, spoiling Moulon Rouge, because like the plot literally didn't matter and also came out in 2001 in the film. So sorry, but it's okay.

No, a lot of people are going to be really upset because they're planning on watching that this week. They might have been. But it's kind of obvious from like the first cough. Like obviously like something's going on. Because like why else would you be coughing really intentionally? And like there's blood on your handkerchief. Oh, there's blood on your handkerchief. Like that's not an accident.

The blood on your handkerchief thing like that happened in every single movie. Where someone's going to die. And everyone's like, coughing. So chill about it too. If I ever have blood on my handkerchief, game over. Have you ever met anyone that carried a hanker? Ooh, good question. I feel like yes, but I don't know who.

Like, I remember actively having the thought. Like, I can't believe this person has a hanker. But I don't remember who. I know someone who does. Who? Maybe. Oh. Except it's not real.

It's just like used tissues she puts in her sleeve. Yeah. Well, that's good enough. No. She will offer them to you. And it's like, why? Also, like, handkerchiefs are gross. Like, they're meant to be disposable.

Yeah. Hankarchifts, I don't think we're supposed to be blow your nose vibes. Like, I know that that's how they're used. Like, they're cough into. And then, like, I thought tears. But they do, you do see. People blow their nose into them and then kind of tuck them back into their, the boutier, whatever you call that. And then.

Rough pocket? Yes. Boutnier. What was I thinking? That's what I was thinking. Cressage? Not corsage. Yeah.

What's the opposite of the crossage? What's the foil to the croissage? Boutinier. Boutnier. Boutineer? Boutineer. Is that it? I don't know.

Everything's at? Boutonier. Boutonier. That's not Boutonier. It's Boutonier. Well, I took French. That looks like it's Boutonier. Boutonier.

Um, any hoopsed. Um, oh, I've told you before, if you are at a restaurant and you have a cloth napkin, if you think for one second you should be blowing your nose to that, you're dead wrong and I'm cutting you out of my life. Yeah, we've been here before and I agree. I know. I have one person who is completely unaware that they did this, but it is the reason that I distance myself from them. That sucks. I would want to know if I was that person. Some people are just stuck in their ways and it wasn't something where like for me when I saw this person do that,

I was like, this is a sign of a much larger internal issue that like I'm lucky that I was able to see this go down because now I can quiet. and swiftly slip away in the night, whereas, like, I think that this is the beginning of the end of, like, a larger situation. Were you close with them? Somewhat. Maybe they felt comfortable enough with you.

No, it was, like, something that involved several tables around us, too. It was, like, a little bit of a hank shoe, like, situation. That's hard. That kind of thing. I'm sorry. I would cut my dad out of my life if he did that in a restaurant,

at least for a month. I feel like it's okay in some circumstances, honestly. Like if you've a really, really horrible cold and like the people at your table you're really close to and like you don't want to keep getting up and like there's a napkin right in your lap.

Like you might just have to. Not blowing. Maybe like, yeah, that's fine. But I also don't like the idea of putting that onto your plate and then having like a server touch that. It's not ideal.

That's a super spreader. It's really not ideal. Yeah. But I'm just defending your dad. Well, my dad wouldn't do that. Yeah. But I wanted to defend him in case. Yeah.

Because I don't want you, I don't want you cutting him out. I won't cut him out. Are you going, oh yeah, you're staying in, you're staying for Thanksgiving. I will be alone. I will probably get so depressed,

but it will be a thing. California, California girls, they're unforgettable. Oh, I wanted to actually ask. I'm staying here because of my cats. Yeah. But I did want to ask if anyone has ever flown with two cats.

Because like what am I going to do for Christmas? No one's going to be here. I can't, I don't want to put them in a place. But like I could. I mean. Like, so just let me know if anyone's flown with two cats. Was it the worst thing ever? How do you even start to think about doing it?

Is it an option? Should, like, what do I do? You could do, there are cats hitters everywhere. I don't want, like I, like a rover. That's like the option you have. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I guess you don't, you can't, I don't think you can travel with two cats. I'll be too freaked.

Like, am I just going to stay in L.A. forever on the holidays now? It does seem so. I did Rover several times and you meet the people before and I loved my girl that came over. I'm too freaked. She'd stay to my house. I'm like, stay to my bed. I'm like a very, like,

strict helicopter parent. Yeah. And you'll be, you'll be actually able to act on that because you won't be leaving the state. Yeah. And it's actually like, I'm starting to question my parenting because I'm, Rob is like really,

like very, very dependent to the point where like John now, like, he doesn't like when John comes near me. which was an issue at the beginning and now it's starting to rise again. It probably ebbs and flows with the two young men.

Yeah, I know they're brothers. Their brothers under under your roof. Through and through. And Christ. Swinging from the chandelier and shit like that. Once the last time you swung from the chandelier? I've never done it.

I would like to. Seriously? Yeah. You know what else I would really want to do? And this is like so naughty. What? And I actually kind of don't even really want to do it but I want to have said that I've done it,

but I also don't want to affect anyone negatively. I don't want to even want to have to deal with the consequences, but I want to, like, destroy a hotel room, you know? Like, pilafite with feathers everywhere? Feathers, and I want to, like, swing on the chandelier, you know, like, I kind of want to, you know, but then I, I want to get my security deposit back, and, like, I don't want anyone to be mad at me. I so see you living the sweet life.

It sounds so glorious, I promise you, when you're in a hotel room every single night of the week, like I was in one last night even, and it was just like, oh my God, Hey guys, front desk. Yeah, I'm going to go down and get a rash in the hot tub if you don't mind. And I'll just head up to bed after that and watch the same episode of Modern Family that I've seen. And I could do the one-man show of this episode. But when you have like, Zach and Cody's mom, Carrie, made that house a home. That's true.

That hotel room that they were in also, I just want to say like, it was fabulous. It was fabulous. And also I've not seen a hotel room that has two rooms. rooms like that with like, I guess I have, like right next to each other like that. No, there would be amazing things like having housekeeping every day and then just like, but that's essentially just like an apartment, the restaurant at the bottom. No, you don't have housekeeping every day in an apartment. You don't have Muriel coming every day. No, I'm saying like that's the only, it's essentially an apartment except with staff.

I wonder if they had to do their own laundry or if Muriel did it. Well, I know Muriel wasn't doing shit. She was kind of lazy bones. She was getting away with the least. Yeah. You know what I did the other day? I went with like meals and wheels, city meals. Did I tell you this?

No. And I like went and dropped food off to it's like mostly elderly people. And some of their apartments, I was like, let me linger a little bit and see if I can get on this will. Because they were so cool. Like, I mean, the people were really cool to talk to. but the apartments were like unbelievable apartments and it's just they've lived there for 40, 50 years.

Wow, I bet they're like great rent control. No, it's unbelievable. The coolest thing ever. And they're all like upper, like way uptown. Yeah. It's like an area I don't go to. It's like the coolest thing and talking to all them.

There was one dude that he lived in Santa Monica. Monica. And his shirts at Santa Monica. So I asked. I was like, what's out of that? He's like, I used to live there. And how elderly? Like, just so I get an image. Like almost 100. Like old, like at their house with like a caretaker type shit. And he was telling me about it. And he's like, oh, yeah, I think he was talking about like the last time he drank or something. He was like, yeah, it's been, I haven't drank like six months. Last time I drank. I was on a date in Santa Monica. And I was. And. I bought a woman a condo in Santa Monica. And I go, I like you. I like what you have going on. I like him. He's still single? I believe so.

Damn. Yeah. Just completely laying flat on his lazy boy. Blanket vibes. I wish I knew more old people. I don't know any elderly people. Old people are the shit. Yeah.

I feel like my family has always. been like my grandparents are young that's it yeah and I was I had a great grandpa when I was really little but I was very scared of his hands I was scared of my grandpa's hands they're very scary because he had that nub

I've told you about oh yeah no my grandpa's hands just were like very purple and spotted and at least a lack of nanny my great grandma had the courtesy to wear these white gloves but I was scared of the white gloves too so it's a lose lose

well I was scared of my grandpa's nub because he would put it in my armpit yeah that's horrifying so it's like the way that a nub can really get in there and hit your funny bone I bet it reaches angles that just the hand cannot

no normal fingers are too lanky this one that ended here that nub is getting into every muck and cranny oh I thought he didn't have an entire hand no He was just missing the nubb finger. Oh.

But Brooke, I'm telling you, that nub would really wedge in there. Yeah, that would have scared his shit out of me. The nub had a mind of its own. He also would take his teeth out. Ooh, that's really scary as well. And so between the teeth and the nub, it was like, Oscar, Isaac, you cooked here, you know? Yeah, totally.

That would really scare me. I was. But I'm ready now. I'm ready. For nub? To be with old people. I was too young back then. but now I'm ready.

Maybe when you come, maybe when you come visit, we could go visit my, my, I love that. Okay. Brooke and Connor go to a nursing home. It wasn't even a nursing home.

We were going, walking to each apartment. I was like, this is like, amazing situation. If anyone wants to volunteer, it's city meals via meals on wheels. And it's very easy to get involved.

I really do think, though, like you know how some people just don't know how to interact with kids. Yeah. I think that would be me with, at a nursing home. Well, the thing about them is they are excited to talk.

So you don't even really need to say that much. Like, they will talk to you. That's good. That'd be good. They'd be good for a first date. Fantastic. And they have so many stories too. Yes.

So much life lived. Yeah. I've been just thinking so much about how we're going to be old. But that would be also would be a blessing. I mean, because what's the alternative? We're going to be so good of being old.

We act old already. I heard something really horrible. I'll keep it to myself. Yeah. I'm keeping it to myself. No, not right now, Brooke, because I, like, when me reading that Mercury is in retrograde right now, I'm like, cool, perfect. That works.

Because something's so out of whack with my cycle, I'm like not able to regulate any of my emotions right now in such an interesting way where it's like, my life's amazing. And then it's like, I'm so scared, you know? I do think, and I wonder if this is normal. I think about aging every single day in a next. way. There is not one day I go without thinking about it. Do you feel the same way or no?

I'm trying to think of something I think of every single day. Recently it's... Sorry. Recently it's been milk. Like that's something that I've thought about milk every day recently. I kind of want... I'm really scared, Brooke. I think I'm going to start drinking milk soon.

Like regular milk? I don't know. Like, yeah. I think you were in my dream. Is I drinking milk? If I was drinking milk, I'm going to hang up. I don't know. But like something about you saying that you've been thinking about milk,

like deja vued me in a way. Oh, that's spooky. Like you, there might have been something about you and milk in my dream. But also maybe not because I can't remember. Oh, I don't know about all that. That's scary. I'm going to have some milk today. I just decided based on that conversation.

I think I need to start seeking things up when I, and feeling drawn to them in that way. Okay, I like that. Milk vibes. Milk or bust. Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk. Wait, no, but I need to, wait. My horoscope said maybe plan a little bit.

Oh, yeah. Don't try new things this month. I have milk. I get mad cow disease. Maybe say away from the milk. I'm angry. I'm a cow. Big new commitments are riskier right now.

I wouldn't, I would not do the milk, Connor. Whoa. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And to think I was about to go to think I was about to go get a carton. Yeah. I would not do that while your Mercury is in retrograde. This is really scary. All of these things, again, I, straight up, like, I don't believe in horoscopes. I do when they tell me exactly what I want to hear. Took the words out of my mouth. Okay, for Brooke. Brooke, for Jim and I, the Mercury. Retrograde is all about slowing down, double checking communications and revisiting partnerships before moving forward.

So some good moves for you would be reconnect and review partnerships. We visit old conversations, maybe perhaps a hinge match. I was thinking that. Contracts or agreements before making new commitments. Polish out routines and workflows. Tweek your daily habits, work systems, and health rituals rather than starting new ones. Double check communications. Read emails, text and messages carefully before sending.

That is sharing shit out of me. Reflected journal. I have been thinking I've been shit talking a little bit too much recently. And I have been scared that I'm going to feel. fire off something in the wrong direction. That's a scary, it's a scary, that's something you could lose sleepover. Yeah. So thank you for the reminder.

I'm going to be double checking everything. Can I ask, are these all the same as mine? They do seem. You need to avoid launching major products. Need to avoid relying on assumptions. That's a big one. Don't overload your schedule. I don't worry.

Not. Avoid neglecting reflection. and don't rush agreements or signatures. I, like, am I going to get conned? Contracts and formal commitments can be messy if done hastily. I'm sure I'm about to get, like, completely scammed. Just keep an eye out. Is there anything more humiliating than posting on an Instagram story?

What'd you say? Is there anything more embarrassing than posting an Instagram story? Yeah. Posting something in feed. I'm so much less freaked out about posting Instagram story. feed than my Instagram story. Sometimes I will watch my Instagram story back. Well, I always will watch my Instagram story back a million times.

But sometimes I'm like, I'm great and funny. And sometimes I'm like, I am the worst person that's ever been granted a phone. And it should be remit from my hands and outlawed. I'm there. From my life. I'm right there. Do you want to know what happened to me this morning that'll make you feel better about that?

Yeah. I went and I took a wellness shot. They were doing samples at this juice, juice store. And I didn't know what it was. And I took it and it came out of my nose because it was ginger, cayenne, and lemon. Yeah, that'll do it.

And I was kind of expecting something sweet. And it went up and it went into my mouth and didn't go down in any way. It went straight up. And then out my nose and onto my shirt, which is that that right there. I like your hoodie blouse. Thanks.

Look at the back of it. Whoa. Pretty. I didn't know that's where Al Paso was. You're teaching me today. El Paso's in West Texas. No way. It's at the very bottom.

It is. No, it was West. And not at the very bottom. Show me again? I can't. I hurt my back. No worries. Do you guys know that I hurt my back?

so bad at the Halloween YouTube video shoot that I had to go get scanned again. You need a new back. I would love Dr. Isaac would get down and dirty on me. Wait, oh my gosh, you guys.

So I got a massage over the weekend in Philly. And it was great. It was my first time I didn't pack well for Philly because I was only going for two days, so I was like, I don't need to bring my suitcase. So I,

brought a duffel bag and I've seen I see men with duffel bags all the time and it's just kind of like why are you doing that that's just like like you could have a bag that's like on the ground or on your back totally backpack vibes and I tried it it's not it's dumb to have a duffel bag I think a man with a little duffel bag slung over his shoulder is really cute yeah and I think it's all very performative and I think they do it I think that they're all doing it for the look and it's like uh the look is like like like Lulu Lemon jogging sweats

Duffle over the side hat but Not when it's like really nerdy in earnest And it's like your middle school Duffel bag This this one's just like a Like a weekend bag

But I was walking lopsided Yeah I guess so Geez And so I get there And I go oh Evans I went I was like I don't have any underwear like I went I did naked massage I've never done that but like my understanding is that you that standard practice is to be naked that's reminding me of

a really interesting side of TikTok I'm on continue okay so I go do this naked massage and I've also never had a male masseuse um I wonder if I didn't the guy for my free page I've never had a massage I like this one. There was a lot of stretching involved. Arms like I was laying on my stomach. Your leg was on your stomach? No, I was laying on my stomach and he had my leg like one of my, each of my legs like up in the air.

I'm like, I'm not that flex. Was your butt out? My butt was out. And my leg is just up in the air. I can't imagine what it looks like from where he is. And like he didn't like, he didn't like, he didn't. didn't like cover me. Like I was feeling a breeze on my dick.

And my leg is in the air. And I'm like, what, like, what is even, what is the, what am I supposed to be feeling right now? I would be having a hard time with that. What? I'd be having a hard time with that. Well, it's just like, I had, I had never had like this, whatever type of massage it was where there was a lot of, like, lifting my limbs and kind of, like, dropping them. And then, totally.

And I really just needed, like, my back. massaged because of my back hurting. There was a lot of, he touched my butt several times. Wow. But it wasn't anything nefarious. It was very much like a massage still, but I was just like not expecting. Did you like it? I was so on edge thinking like, am I supposed to be naked right now that I couldn't

enjoy the actual massage part. If he was touching your butt and rubbing your butt, then I would imagine you were supposed to be naked. He wouldn't be rubbing your butt if he didn't want you to be naked. I was wondering like, If I would have worn an underwear, would he be going below the panty line? Probably, yeah. Or would that have been the border.

Yeah. He'd be going south of the bordere. Yeah. If he would have gone south of the bordere and I was in boxes or something, I would have been like, excuse me, don't go in my underwear. Right. That would feel weird, but I bet it was totally fine because you were naked. Have you had a naked massage? I haven't had a clothes massage.

I hate... You've never had a massage? I hate being touched like that. If I could relax a little. little bit more. I think I'd really enjoy it. But it is, it's hard for me to relax because I'm just thinking the whole time. Totally. And I, and I have never had a relaxing massage because I, I have so many knots and tightness things that like, when they go in, I'm like, really, you're going to have to hurt me a little bit. So it's never the man in my wall is knocking.

See, he went's massage. This is my heater turning on. In college, we had, um, under my bathtub, we had, we found out like a family of raccoons living under our bathtub and you could feel them moving around. Like you couldn't actually feel them like they would scrape and stuff when they'd be moved around and it was kind of cute. But now I said it out loud and it's actually, that's so scary. That is scary. Raccoons are kind of scare me a little. It was the biggest raccoon you've ever seen it. It was the size of a Toyota Corolla. It was the biggest, fattest thing you've ever seen. It couldn't even like climb and shit because it was so pregnant

and then I had the babies and it was like 12 babies and they were cute but then there was like 13 raccoons like full ground raccoons under our house where do most raccoons live in the country but did you have a lot of raccoons

I guess they're everywhere kind of I feel like I didn't have a lot of raccoons Texas has a ton well particularly in the eastern and central United States interesting so you should have had you should have raccoons

Totally. I don't think I really saw any. They are not found in Alaska. Thank God. Do you want to go to Alaska? Yeah, I do. Drop my phone. Uh-oh. It's fine. I'm not going to pick it up.

Okay. Well, Connor, I think that's all the time we have for today. No. I know. Well, we have the bonus too. Yeah, I was about to say don't get your panties too much in a bunch. I'll see you in the bag. Well, I didn't even wear them because I'm getting a massage.

Ooh. You're getting your butt rubbed today, aren't you? my butt rub Nice Okay yeah I think on that now That's probably a good time to end it Okay well I'll see you

I'll see you in about 40 seconds I'm gonna have you know what I'm gonna have What a yogurt Ooh yummy So I'm gonna go hop on the yogurt Train and then you have to tell me What side of TikTok you're on Oh I'll tell you in the phone

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