Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - BNCMAP’s Best Of 2022

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

MERCH: http://bncmerch.com  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://tmgstudios.tv  This week, we’re looking back on some of the best BNCMAP moments throughout this past year! It has been an incredible year and it couldn’t be done without your support. So, here’s a BIG thank you to everyone and we can’t wait to see you in the new year, SMOOCHES!  Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc Head to https://Squarespace.com/bandc to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to https://zocdoc.com/BANDC and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to Be. Use us directed. Hi guys, we had an incredible year together And as an end of year treat We've compiled some of the best BNC MAP moments Throughout 2022

And for our close friends members We have a special never-before-seen snippet Of our pilot episode Like I don't think I will be able to watch personally Thinking about how nervous and young we were doing that Spooky spooky So it never aired? No

I'm very nerd No, I encourage you to watch it And get back to us And if you want to watch that and get access to our bonus content, go to TMG Studios. TV and subscribe to either the Studios tier or the Brooke and Connor tier. Thank you guys so much for an incredible year. Here's to many, many more best-ups and maybe some firsts. Smooch it.

Smooches. Hello, everybody. Hey, guys. Welcome to Brooke and Connor make a podcast. Yes. I'm here with Brooke. And I'm here with Connor. And we're here.

And we're here and we are two former roommates turned friends, turned enemies, turned friends again, turned podcasters, and that's what you're seeing. And we're really glad you're here today. You know, it's funny I was thinking about this morning. I got a Snapchat memory of me coming into your room. And Brooke used to live. Somehow it was myself, Brooke and our roommate Jack Martin, who's on NBC now. So he's a celebrity.

He got the big. master bedroom. I got a bunk bed and Brooke got two twin beds. Yeah, of course. And I walked into a room in the morning and I sat on the bed. And I was fully unconscious. Brooke wakes up like this. Brooke wakes up like this. And if you're watching on the video, you'll see what I'm about to do. But she does, she's not like a, she's like a, well, it's because I could feel you staring at me. I'm sure that was alarming for you. Yeah, of course. And filming me while I was asleep. Hang on. Taken out of context.

Not really at all. It's not taken out of context. That's what happened. No. But it wasn't like, I was going to like scare you awake. You know, like I wasn't like filming you sleep. Was that your plan to scare me awake? Yeah.

And I did it with just like existing. And I scared myself awake. Yeah. But anyway. That was a year ago. That was a year ago today. Now we're here. Still loving each other.

Yep. We had a good weekend. We had a really good weekend. What did we do? Should we recap? Well, Friday I wasn't with you because I was busy with, I was with Flo. Rida, of course. Oh, yes, yes.

Kind of just dancing and singing with him. Right. How did you guys meet? Hon hinge. Okay. No, I don't understand. I was at an NFL party. Right, which in and of itself is.

Goes without saying hosted by someone named Gronk. Yeah, gronk, of course. Gronk. Rob? Uncle Gronk. Isn't his first name Rob? Robert gronkolis. Yeah.

So it was a party hosted by gronk, and I just kind of wheeled my way in there. So I saw, I didn't go, but I was seeing Snapchats. And were you on the stage with Florida? Mm-hmm. And how was that? Yeah, tell us more. Did you get to know him? A great guy.

Yeah. And that's, we were dancing and singing. Did you guys grind? A little hip-to-hip grinding, not so much. Okay. crotch to butt more of a side-to-side situation. Nice. But, yeah, we were dancing together, me and Flo, and he was singing right round, and I was

seeing right round as well. I was hoping with him. Yeah, so I was upstate on stage with Flo, and then... I keep thinking you're talking about the progressive... Progressive, no. It's just kind of me and Flo, or Rida are so close that first name basis. Right. Anyway, it was a good night.

And then we went back to our friends' house and Dougie. and soldier boy. There was no reason for you to attack me in that way. In what way? Sorry. On Wednesday, four days after. You did amazing. Four days after I hit the dougie.

There's nothing more jarring than like, kind of like, the Saturday was, there was so much going on. We did waterfront for Friday beers, and then we get to the house that, like, it was kind of all blur, and so that kind of escaped me until I remembered Sunday that I did hit the duggy for like a couple minutes. And then there was like a... For the entirety of the song. Yeah. So yeah, just a few. But it was really good. At least I was dugging while sober, which I don't think, I think should be illegal.

No. Yeah. And I don't even know how to duggie. So I was just making some sort of like bring it around town from SpongeBob movement with my body. As someone who watched both of you, Dougie, you both did amazing. You were actually cheering us on. And yeah. You are the biggest cheerleader.

I, well. And I always like, I would not have done that if you weren't there because you're my safe. space. Oh my God. And I feel so safe and supported when I'm with you that I would doggie while not under the influence. Should you do you diggy right now? Do you mind?

I don't know if I want to slap that shit right now. Do you mind laying it down for us? While sitting. You want to do a seated dug? I'm going to do a seated like a sitting dive when you kind of dive off the pool like so when you're learning to dive. I feel comfortable doing a sitting. I'm thinking of the stanky leg.

So you can do either. Okay. Why don't you just do it? Like, get up there and can I, do I have permission to stand up? Is that okay during a podcast? Okay. Oh, I'm freaking out. Here, we can take a mic.

You need both your arms for the duggies. Teach me. Teach me how to dougie. Teach me, teach me. Oh, is it stinky in here? I'm going to throw up. It smells so gross in here. Oh, my God, yucky.

You did kind of hit that shit, though. You really did. Okay, stanky. Thank you guys for a good thing. Again, thank you for giving me the safe space to thank you like on the internet. Yeah. I think that was something that I'll remember forever. My first hot take is that I think the Alvin and the chipmunk versions of songs are most of the time better than the original.

My Uber's here. I have to go. Come on unplug me? That is psychic. I know. And I don't think I'm going to get a lot of people to agree with me. But something about that high pitch makes me want to move and go. groove and everything in between.

I'm scared to be around you. I don't do it in public. I know it's wrong. I know it's wrong. I'm scared for what that's going to... I know it's wrong. I know it's wrong. I'm scared for what that's going to do to our numbers.

But when the one that's like, party, rocking it, I don't know if I can sing that because of copyright, but when Alvin and Simon and Theodore on backup vocals saying that, I just want to bust it. You know? I just like... Yeah. I know it's a hot.

It's a hot one. It's a hot one. I don't feel like I really need to even... You don't need to hear any more? No, no, no. No, there's nothing to say. I know. I can admit when I'm wrong.

Okay? Always. Me too. Yeah. I'm objectively wrong there. But, again, if loving that is wrong, I don't want to be right. It is so good to me. This is going to be used against you in a federal court case.

And I'm prepared. Like, I know, I don't know what you want for me. I know I'm wrong. But I can't help it. I went to that coffee shop by my house and there's, they only open one register. And I finally asked an employee like, why do you do this? And they were like, because it makes us look busier. And so people are like, we want to come here.

But this guy, this guy behind me, you know that voice that I always do? This is kind of funny? He did the voice. What? The one that gives me the hebi-jee-jee? He taps me on the shoulder. I'm like waiting there. And I have my dead AirPods in because they make me feel safe.

Yeah. Like I'm on a, like on a. Noise cancelling on or off? I lost those. So I'm back to my OG. Okay. Which I actually prefer the AirPod ones. Oh my God.

That's a hot take if I've ever heard one. Well, I like the noise canceling, but they die so fast. And my old ones, they're just like a Nokia phone. Like they never die. I'll leave them out of the case overnight, put them in the next morning. They sell like 70%. I feel like my new pros hold battery longer. Well, I'm going to give it another shot.

But anyways, I'm in line and I have the headphones in. And so he taps me. He's like an older dude. Taps me. And I take out my dead air pod. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I've got Usher on the line. I've got Usher on the line.

And I'm trying to figure out the lyrics of Drake song. And he goes, you know, you know if they would just open both of these checkout lines? The flow of the place would just start to make more sense. And I was like, I fully agree with you. He's like, you know what I mean if they would just open the second line? And I'm like, you're screaming. And we're about four feet from, like, I'll sign your petition. That, when you do that voice, I can't, it's out of body for me because that is the voice of, like, all of my ancestors, like, old Jewish men.

Yeah. And seeing that voice come from, like, a young, like, little surfer boy. It just is very, like, very jarring. Very jarring. I can't even explain it. Like, full FBCs, full body chills up and down my body. It's about the. that time of year when people start working out outside and I'm like get the fuck inside yeah don't do

I wouldn't do that outside I would never participate in that kind of behavior outside in public that's like inside in the comfort of equinox with my playlist it is really I am just yeah I mean equinox is like and the reason I joined there in the first place is because I've paid to go to a gym before like a hundred dollars a month and never gone yeah so I'm thinking maybe if I pay like three times that amount I'll go. Right. And I did. And I invested in myself.

The sweet spot is to bankrupt yourself over fitness and you will become fit. There's this huge wall of pictures of all the trainers. On that wall of images is this man and his name is Logan. And I couldn't help but think of a life in which Logan was my trainer because he is like scary, scary gorgeous in the sense wouldn't even be able to have a conversation with him would just admire from afar. And so I did post on my Instagram story. Would anyone be able to write a fan fiction about me and this trainer, Logan? Did you get any responses?

I have never gotten more responses to any Instagram story in my life. And one came within 10 minutes that was a fully fleshed fan fiction. And that goes back to your question. The difference between fan fiction and smut. Smut is like fully erotica. which can be in fan fiction, but fan fiction doesn't have to be smut. It's like more romantic.

It can, yeah, fan fiction can be smart, but it doesn't have to be. A rectangle. A rectangle. Can be a square, but a square can't be a rectangle. Bingo, bingo, bingo. I'm picking up what you're putting down. You really are.

Both are pretty inherently sexual, though. Like, it's, like... Yeah, it's just a matter of, like, sexual horniness or emotional horniness at the end of the day. Oh. And I was feeling emotionally horny for Logan, the trainer. Have you met it?

No, I haven't even seen him. Imagine the day I see him after everything that's been built up. And I, anyway, the fan fiction. Imagine if he's a fan of Lady F. Ron. Well, somebody responded to that and was like, genuine question. And they didn't say this in a mean way. Like, genuine question, if he saw this, like, would you be embarrassed? Like, do you get embarrassed by what you do? Or would you be excited if he saw? And that's something that I thought about. And I think, yeah, I'd be horrified. And I have to actually start considering that because, like, it's not like I have so many followers. on Instagram, but like enough or it's like if somebody who knew Logan

from Equinox saw it and sent it to him like game over, babe. It's pretty much you're pretty much one degree of separation away from everybody on the planet. You could be if you do the math and write the geometrical proof on it. Yeah. I mean sometimes I'm like I'll wear a shirt or something and someone

knows the person who founded the company and it's like hardly in a Instagram story that I'll post and then I'll like be connected with them. Yeah. That is a little worrisome. It is worrisome. But anyway, to answer her question, I would probably be mortified.

Yeah, but I would like to not think about Logan seeing that. But that girl sent me that fan fiction that she had written. I posted that on my story. That's what I meant to say. I've never gotten more responses in my life. People asking for the next chapter. People were so invested in the story of me and Logan. I was so invested in the story of me and Logan.

And I was wondering if you would want to even. read a piece of the fan fiction. Can I read it? Yeah, I would really like you two. Okay. Okay, so. Yeah, this is it. We have it pulled up here.

Yeah. It's called Brooke and Logan. Pretty simple. And I really wanna give her a shout out. I wanna give a shout out to Janie, who wrote this. Not only wrote this, but is an incredibly talented writer. And I hope she knows that people are begging for more of her work. So Janie, if you're seeing this, you are super, super talented.

and I hope you are okay with me saying your name. Thanks, Jane. I just wanted to give you the shout-out that you deserve. Okay, so it's titled Brooke and Logan. Yeah. I think that's pretty to the point. Right, right. So having lost count, Brooke categorized the number of reps she'd done as enough.

In fact, it had been enough since the first one, her trainer clearly felt differently. Just five more. Come on, you've got this. Maybe she should die. Maybe she would die before the end and wouldn't have to finish. for again if you're so excited about it why don't you just do the rest brook thought tuning out logan

logan's coaching and you're done he beamed as brook detached from the machine and dropped to the floor god logan are you trying to kill me brook panted breathlessly she was covered in sweat sore from the day before an in desperate need of her afternoon nap

girl knows me so well after all that i think you're already stronger than me Logan smirked. That's anyway, that was the first damn. I'm doing this. I'm doing just what she sent. I'm doing one more page. Okay, please. Because I'm actually curious I didn't. It's, you want to keep reading.

I know. Relieved to be done, she grabbed her bag and headed for the showers. Hey, Brooke, Logan called quietly. She turned around. You did good today. I think I'm going to need a wheelchair now. He ignored her comment. I'm serious. You did good. You did Wells. what he should have said. She didn't have the breath to even try to respond.

Logan would probably get annoyed if she tried crawling to the showers, but it would be easier than walking. Oh, and also, yes, she turned back around. If you didn't like that today, you're going to hate tomorrow. Logan added more than taking a swing of water. Oh, my God. Brooke muttered. As much as she dreaded the next workout,

there was something else bubbling inside her chest, a tiny inkling of excitement. Like, how did that? make you feel? I felt a tiny inkling of excitement. I have more than a tiny inkling. Ooh what's going on? I mean that is so good. Yeah no that was really well done. And I got probably 500 responses to that saying where is the next chapter? I guess we'll never know unless she responds. She's got I mean she has to write more the people are dying and I think I genuinely think she could get published. I

think that is so imagine how I'm going to feel when I see Logan after that. I mean, she's really setting it up. She's really teeing you up and Logan up as well. I wonder, I've got to send you the picture of Logan. I don't know if I don't want to put him on blast for everyone. Yeah, I'm a little curious about what Logan's got up his sleeves. Wait until you see what Logan's got up his sleeve. What do you think it is?

Something awesome. Yeah, anyway, what's up? Like a Yu-Gi-O card? And I want to apologize at an advance if I'm a little bit more shy and reserved today. Why? I am scared to talk about anyone or anything, especially using people by name. I had a little bit of a trauma yesterday in relation to our friend at Equinox that I've spoken about. I am even hesitant to say what happened, but I'm going to give you a very brief summary.

Please. Walk into Equinox yesterday, as I do, because I'm a gym rat. and there's this guy at the front desk every time who's the sweetest guy. We've had such a nice thing going on. He's always so nice to me. And, you know, we had our usual banter. And this is like four, I've been there for four weeks now.

Yeah, a month. A month. And I've gone, according to my app, 23 times. That's incredible. That's a lot of times, yeah. You have a lot to be proud of. And this time, he was like, I just have to say, like, I'm such a fan. And I was like, oh, my God, because I wasn't expecting this.

Because when I think of our fan base, like, I always think of, like, you know, girls in their 20s. So you never expected to be, like, a buff guy in their 30s that works at Equinauts. Yeah. And he's like, I'm such a big fan. And I was like, oh, my God, thank you. That is so kind. Like, I always love hearing that. And he's like, yeah, I especially love the podcast.

And I was like, oh, my God. Like, thank you so much. That's so great. You know, no alarm bells going off at this point. And then he's like, yeah, we all had a great, great laugh about that. We all, as in the person that you wrote fan fiction. Well, Conor, still, I'm like, oh, that's so nice. Thank you so much.

Well, I think he said something like, oh, like I laugh. Like we all. Something about that. And I was like, oh, thank you so much. I'm walking away. I'm going up the stairs. I stop dead in my tracks. Right.

And I remember that the things that we have discussed on this podcast, such as not limited to someone writing a fan fiction about me and one of the trainers, I that was hot at Equinox, putting more context into, you know, we all had a good laugh. A request into the public domain to write fan fiction about you. I do want to say I didn't write it. If that helps at all. Let's clear the air.

Hands up, I did not write that. But I did ask that it be written. And I'm like, well, I'm so dumb. Why didn't I change his, like, I didn't change his name. I changed the girl's name, the girl trainer's name that I talked about. But it didn't change his name. And Ryan is so smart. He was saying that because he wasn't a real person in me.

He was a picture frame on the wall. Yeah, because I still never met him. Yeah. So I have to quit Equinox and the podcast. Well, there's one in San Monica you could come to instead. Yeah, yeah. I need to change my membership. But I want to, I'm going to, he's going to get a restraining order.

No, I think that knowing now what we know about him, which is just finding his Instagram, I think maybe that's flattering for him because he's, he's, He's trying to be, he is an actor. And maybe that's like the first. Do I even want to say that I found his Instagram? Well, we did last episode. Oh. And we're confirming.

I'm terrified of the things I've said and the things I'm going to say in the future. That's okay. And that's why I apologize if I'm shy today. Because I'm, I mean, what am I going to do next time I go to Equinox? I think you need to lean into it and just he knows, I'm sure he knows what he looks like. It's okay. It's not my fault. It's not of our fault.

It's none of our faults. But you know what I need to do? Next time I think, and this is something I've struggled with all my life, when I think someone's hot, it's okay to keep that to myself, I think, and that's not something I've ever done. I want to second that. I'm learning that it's okay to stop talking. Yes. So, and the same, like that, your concept's cousin over here.

Like, it's like if I think someone's cute, I don't immediately need to request a fan fiction be written about the two of us. you know and then I don't need to immediately read that fan fiction and broadcast it to like 50,000 people you know sure it's like there are steps back I could take learning we're all learning and maybe he's cute maybe someone about my day that could be that could be something maybe someone's going to hear this and be like oh maybe I me maybe I could help someone to Brooke made the mistakes so that we didn't have to yeah yeah so if you guys are watching this Maybe don't publicly request for a fan fiction to be written about you and a real person that works at a place that you go to every day.

And then subsequently read that fan fiction on live podcast platform. Last week while you were away, I'm on the bike, mining my own business. Keep in mind at this point, I have never seen Logan in person. This is all just so blown up by me blowing it up. No one's fault but my own. and I'm on the bike listening to my glee playlist and lo and behold, Logan out of nowhere, he comes up to me.

He starts to say hi. I go, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. Like, didn't even let him get out of word. And I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And he goes, I'm Logan. Babe, I know. I know who you are.

I know who you are. I was like a community of people that's what you are now. And I just have to say, and I couldn't step. I was like, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Can I have a picture? there it is

and he is everybody that responded to that was like of course you wanted a fan fiction with him look at him he really came up to you into a long time listener first time approach her at equinox and he also was like what's your name again which well I guess like which is good to hear he doesn't

that would make me think he doesn't really listen to the podcast thank fucking God someone probably just sent him a clip which is which is great I feel like best case scenario but anyway there he is everyone's like, yeah, he's so cute. And he is so cute. He was so nice. I like kind of blacked out the whole thing. I couldn't stop saying like, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. And then I was like,

what can I actually have a picture with you? I'm so embarrassed. But that was that. And it's kind of just, you know, it's ongoing. I don't know what's going to happen next. I would be completely fine with this being the final chapter. I feel like I've put him through enough. He's gone through so much at my hands. And do I want this to be the final chapter? Yes. Do I want something else to happen? A little bit.

Right. Because I have to say, meeting him kind of changed the game. Sure. And not to manifest something that I can't tell if you want to happen or not, but I did see a TikTok that the activity in the steam rooms that's against corporate policy at Equinox

hasn't increased quite a bit. Well, I think that's mostly in, like I don't think he's, he could come in the woman's breast. Well, he's a certified trainer. If you needed to be stretched out, there's a time in place for that. Yeah, but now that I know him, I don't want to speak like that about him. Oh, my bad.

Just because he, I am being respectful. I know, but it's his job to stretch your hamstrings. Yeah, but not in the steam room. Sometimes steam activates muscles that. Maybe. So. Yeah. Anyway, all I have to say is he was so, so nice and can't thank him enough.

So sorry for what I've put him. through. He didn't ask for any of this, but that's where we are. I'd be flattered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I would too. Yeah. But I do feel bad also. Because it's like, when does it end? He's probably like, God, I hope

it's done. But he came up to you. I'm not capable of not talking about it. He came up to you. He came up to me. Tier number three, which is the least intense tier of having a celebrity crush, is someone you and I'm thinking mostly about actors and even singers when I think about this, but there's tons of other celebrities.

Tier 3 is when you consume their content, so when you're watching a movie or something with them or watching the perform, you're in love with them, but just kind of while you're consuming the content. You're in love with the character that they're playing? No, you love them and you think they're hot and you'll maybe even do a little Wikipedia deep dive while consuming the content,

but it kind of stops there. You don't think about them too much after consuming the content. That's tier three. And for me, that's kind of like a Sebastian Stan, Jacob Allorty, like, you're watching, they're gorgeous, you'll Google, you'll Wikipedia, where are they from, how old are they, what's their height, are they married? I'd like to know more, but it

stops at a certain point. And right, and just like, that's like the lowest tier of celebrity crush. So we moved to tier two where... So tier two is a step further where you are consuming their kind of, you're in love with them, you need to consume more. Okay? Fan edit. Fan edits, you're watching all of their late night interviews, you're on a deep YouTube spiral, you're entering Reddit,

you're on the dark web, you're thinking about them more. I can't even imagine how... I don't think you've ever passed tier three. No, I mean, I can't even imagine getting to tier two. I can't imagine how it gets more intense than going to the dark web. Let me explain it to you. And even in tier two, I would say tier two, you could consume

fan fiction. You might not... Then what the fuck is tier one? Tier one is... Stalking. No. This is... Tier one, you reserve for a select few people. It is the most intimate level of celebrity crush where it's like the thought that you will not spend

your life with this person, it is landing you almost in a psych ward. It is scary. And that is how I felt about Matthew. Matthew, I'm consuming content left and right. I'm writing fan fiction. I thought about him. Like, when you wake up when you go to bed. He is all consuming.

You know everything about him. Maladaptive daydreaming at its finest. And that, like you are, you've fully disassociated and in your People are in the comments They're gonna be like she Like what's it called when you like call Like this a citizen's arrest

Yeah it's like I'm about to make my move I'm just trying I'm just right over Britain I am just I have just created this three tiered approach Just so you can understand Okay how much I was obsessed With Matthew Ray Guilboe still am

Not tier one necessarily but was So we get invited to this premiere Like I don't get invited to things like that like for good reason. And this premieres for Lost City. It just came out. The Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock movie.

I didn't know like Daniel Radcliffe from Brad Pitt and all of and Oscar from the officer. Oh, it's one of those movies. It's like a star studded. Bowen Yang. I mean like good movie because I like rom-com adventures, but very cheesy, but like it makes you feel good. So anyways, we get invited. I have nothing to wear to a carpet. So I go shop and I get pants.

I get home, try them on. They're like a little bit. too big and you can't wear a belt to a red carpet. You just have to be a hairy styles guy and like, tuck your shirt in and call it a day. And my pants were falling off. So I called Brooke. It doesn't answer. I called Patricia. Our friend, I was like, you need to bring me a safety pin,

please, and some thumbs because something's happening. Yeah. Because I knew she had a huge, like, basically trough of thums in her kitchen because I eat them every time we are going to a pregame. Ooh, candy. I'm like, oh, candy. It's literally chalk. I'm just like eating chalk at pregame.

So she brings me the safety pin We're on the red carpet She hands me safety pin And then Brooke I started to take pictures of Brooke And she's like Matthew Greg Goebbler And like starts to

Like you can't breathe Matt had texted me Matt wasn't there yet Matt had texted me Matthew Greg Goopler's here And I responded I was like you're fucking with me Because I had just read him that fan fiction And he was the one person

I had read that fan fiction You thought he was Oh I thought he was Absolutely taken a piss out with you by Yeah Well hang on So Brooke is grabbing me like Connor, Matthew Gray Group.

I'm like, I don't, who is this? I know his face, and I know his name. I know his face too. I don't know what he's been in. It's hard to, he's like Dr. Spencer Reed. As well as Simon and Avin and the Chipmunk. He's in tons of other stuff. Well, Brooke extends to me that like I'm obsessed with him.

And I can see it in her face because she is shaking and we're on the carpet. And there's like, Sandra Bullitts in front of us. I'm having an episode. And I'm like, how am I going to get Brooke over to him in like a natural way? And I see that his button has fallen off his, his blazer. And I'm like, guess who has an extra safety pin? This guy. It's a toe.

And a pocket full of tons. I go, hey, Matthew, like, I have a safety pin. Do you want me to, like, get your button on? And he's like, dude, you just saved my life. And we're talking. And he's like, you don't know. Like, you just like, I couldn't have gone out there on the carpet. Like, take my picture.

And I'm like, oh, of course, of course. I need you meet my friend Brock. No, that is, you didn't get that. Oh, no, she's, she's screamed. And I am so sorry. I want to apologize in advance. I had the worst. I was not judging you favorably in that moment.

I thought, I love you to God damn death, but Connor does have some, what's the word? Ethical social climbing. Ethical social clout chasing climbing tendencies. I'm a networker. He's a networker. It's his business. What can he say?

I thought, at this point I'm seeing red, I'm in a blind rage. I thought Connor was making a video with Matthew and was not going to introduce me because there have been times in the past. No offense, Conor, love you to God damn death. where Connor has talked to people that I really want to meet. No, no introduction.

I would go as far as to say gatekeeping girl boss will not let me hear them. Well, I'm also meeting these people for the first time. Right, right, right. But that's where immediately that's where my head went is he is not going to introduce me. He is making a video. I didn't know what they were doing. I didn't know about the safety pin. He's touching Matt.

He's like all over Matthew. And I'm going, Connor, Connor. No, no, no, no. You're going, Connor? And I can hear you. We're on a red, well, it was green, but it was a red carpet event. There's fans yelling, Sandra, Matthew, and Brooke's going, Connor! But from the red carpet, not from the audience, and I'm like, Brooke, I'm fucking working my thing right now.

I'm doing my thing. And then I'm finally like, oh, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke, come over here, like meet Matthew. And then it just... And then I blacked. I blacked out, but I did. I did walk away because you guys were having a moment, but I did get a bunch on... I was firing off photos.

We had videos of me and Matthew that we can insert in post, but I feel like... She's hands on her knees, like... I watched the videos back, and I thought I was being a little shy. Like, oh, my God, I'm such a big fan, screaming, I love you. Like, so scary. Like, I'm watching back, and I'm like, he wants me dead.

Gripping on to his... He's fucking, ugh. And then he's yelling, he's telling Connor, you saved me. I had no idea about the safety pin. He's telling Connor, you save me. I go, you saves me, Matthew. Wait, is that on video? I remember that happening.

You saved me. And then you go like, oh, that wasn't to me. You like, turn. And then Connor gave him a hug, and I was like, I'm sorry. I know I didn't give you a safety pin. I've just got to kind of squeeze in here. And I'm holding on to dear, I, and he was, they say never meet your idols.

He was just, like, I knew he was gonna be nice. And you know what? I saw the video and I was blown away by how charismatic and personable he was. He is the nicest guy in the, and this is my phone background, which is not surprising to anybody in the slightest probably. That's me and Matthew. It was really

funny. I can't think of like a better meet your idol. I just, I can't stop thinking about it or talking about it. It's just the best thing it's ever happened. It's the best night of my life. Best thing it's ever happened to me. I don't even I can't even, I hope you guys understand how much that meant to me.

I hope the three-tiered celebrity crush system that I created helps. I hope the fan fiction helped. Do you now check that off of, are you like, okay, I've. I was literally like, if I get hit by a bus right now on this green carpet, completely. So like, is that like when a ghost is stuck on the in-between and it's like I just have- I would have been able to pass on at that moment. You would have been on, okay. If I was a ghost, I would be passing.

So what do you think happens? happens after you die. After you die? Yeah. Nothing. With your money? No, just like... Or in general.

In general. I think it's just darkness. I think people make too big of a deal about it. Well, I was just thinking you kind of look like Jesus. You're not scared of death at all? With his hair. I wouldn't, you know... I think that people act like you know that you're dead.

I don't want to go through a long, drawn-out, like... I don't either. I didn't mean... That was just supposed to be like a nice... I'm afraid of... You were doing a bit and we're fully... I'm afraid of my health failing. Like, that's just supposed to be...

That's a big fear of, like, you know, I would be very upset. I like that shirt. If that happened. This is nice. Where is this from? Connor, I'm. Do you see what I have to deal with? Can I get a roll of decks?

Oh, it's Patagonia. It's really painful. Wait, wait, wait. No, because I'm going to flip the tape. I know. I didn't do anything. I am so honored that you're experiencing. Is anything empty and throwable?

Amiel, please keep telling me about your fear of a painful, of a painful health failure. Yeah, that's not worth it. No, no, no. We're listening. We are listening. There's two of them, and I'm going to freak out. Wait, so you're afraid of pain? No, no, no, why don't you tell Connor about your...

He just said, I'm not. No, no, no, because you got pissed because I said, oh, I'm going to say something about state income taxes, and you were like, but you're over there. Let me answer. Looking at each other's tags. Well, I'm telling her about losing my health failing. I was listening. This is a light and fun podcast. I don't think that the, I don't think that the, I don't think that the.

after, like, you asked the question. I was just moving on. Okay, so, you guys are both. Okay, here's, here's. Tone policing. Here's a, here's a whole thing for me. No, because I didn't finish. I'm going to tell Brooke.

Thanks. And if I hear one peep, quiet on set while Emil talks about dying. I'm going to unplug my headset. No. I'm going to run to the restroom. Oh, are you serious?

You're serious? No, because you go. Let him go. Let him go. I'll save it. I'll tell him when it comes back. Wait, wait, wait, watch what we're going to do. I'm going to open up his camera. Text his X.

Wait, wait, wait. Text his X. We're just going to rapid fire. And for our audio listeners, only Ben has taken Connor's phone and his rapid firing photos on the device. Okay. I was sitting here and he just said, that's a nice shirt. What kind of shirt is that? I do think it was Connor.

It's more egregious. I can tell you it was a meal. It was more egregious. I can vow to that. Is this what he does to you? Yeah. Well, it's a little, yeah, I think we both interrupt each other, but my interrupting is coming from a place of trying to get a word in.

Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. So I am sympathetic to you and I'm standing with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I ask you a question? No. Like, recently I've been, like, getting on Amazon when I'm drinking and, like, I'm actually doing stuff that I am like, good move. Because like, so one of those things came in today and I meant to bring in and I forgot, but I guess at some point last week I bought a plot of land in Ireland and I'm a lord.

So you guys, I meant to come in with that today, but Lord Connor Wood, which is. You're kidding. No, I got my certificate in the mail. Do you have it? I forgot to bring it, but I'll put it up on the screen. Is this a bit? Are you? No, I promise you.

How much was the plot of land if you know? Why me ask you? 150 bucks. Oh. It's a one foot by one foot square. Oh. So I won't be moving anytime soon. Well, can we go visit?

Well, when I save up some cash, I'm going to buy a second one by one. And then, like, it's just invest. Buy one by ones after one by ones. And then eventually you have. Cody, you know this. Property is the best investment right now. Yeah. It's only going, it's only going up in value.

So you are a lord. Yep. So I should be like, I feel like it should. I don't know the. Go ahead. What are you doing? we do need HR Oh

Thanks Is that I think that's what you're supposed to do for me? I don't know but just gave me the chills a little bit Do you want me to do it? Okay You can see over there That was really flattering Yeah

Lord yeah Yeah Lord And I'm lady No you're not I am by title No if you buy your If you purchase your title I on TikTok

My username Lady Ah Money talks It seems like anybody it seems like no one wants to get off their ass and buy a fucking title these days. Anyway, so you get home, have all these deliveries outside. One of them in particular, I have no memory of.

And like this could be ADHD or drinking. I don't know. But check this out. I can't even imagine what's good possibly. Hang on. I'm really nervous. I am too. I'm so nervous.

So first of all, hang on. I got so much shit in my pockets. I found a rock outside too. Hang on. Just like Monopoly. pieces and like what? Golf teas. I haven't no idea.

If you had a guess. Both. Okay. Why are there? If you're anything like me, you've listened to music. Yes. So when I go on runs, I listen to music. And I get home and I do a little bit, like I hit my pull-up bar once or twice.

But I want to listen to music. And then when I get in the shower, I don't want to take my music out. I'm like fired up. I like want to get in the shower, wash off. Check this out. Can I just say for audio listeners only, for some reason, Connor's replaced his podcasting headphones with his AirPods. Oh, he's now placing a mini shower cap over one ear that has the air pod inserted into it.

He's now placing the second mini shower cap onto his other ear. I'm floored. To give you a little visual here, I can shower with my AirPods in now. I bought 150 of these. 150? Yeah. That's the smallest quantity they'll sell them in. And that's okay.

So they're disposable? They're not reusable? I mean, I reused. Right. So have you actually used them? I used these this morning, yeah. What were you listening to in the shower? This morning I was listening to Nora Jones because I was trying to chill out a little bit.

I slept for no time last night. I got in it. My flight landed at 1.30 in the morning. Why do you always do that? I don't know. I don't know how he can. I don't know. Sometimes I think it actually helps.

I think you're motivated by extreme chaos. I would agree with that. I like to be on the go. I like to be a guy on the go. As your boss, I think you need to give yourself a little bit more buffer. And also you're fired. And also you're fired while we're at it.

Yeah, okay. Nothing is giving me greater joy than the picture you. Oh, I'm going to rephrase this. the way I was going to say butt naked. Yeah? Putting on those shower caps. Is that getting you going over there? It's not the butt naked part.

It's the butt naked in addition to putting the shower cap. What about kind of like going on with my shower caps on? Because I also feel like they're kind of like the perfect size for like. For what? Like if you were to use it on your penis. Like a shower cap but for the other head. Like your AirPods on them. Just for the tip of my.

my penis? In case you were like, I don't know, didn't want to get your... Didn't you want to get the tip of my penis right? Like a little. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. Maybe it's like if you're, you know, you got some, you're treating it or something. Yeah. I'm trying to think of reasons why, like, why you use it on your head is because you know when your hair because maybe you're like, you know, washed it or something like that. So next time I get the tip of my penis bleach, so I'll keep that in mind. You know the song? Uh, uh, uh, uh, right.

Radio act. That one? Who sings? Whoa, whoa, oh, uh, uh,

I don't know, like fucking, I have fucking Maroon 5. No. No, it's, it's, who sings sorry?

Or who sings, it's too late to apologize. Imagine, imagine, uh, imagine dragons? Oh, Amanda dragon,

um, imagine, dragon these nuts on your face. No! Yes. That's got it. Broke, brook,

you saw the goal, you saw the finish line, and you were, going for it. I was literally the past 20 minutes. I was so in my head about getting no and I was playing on my phone. Oh my God my heart is racing. Last week we tried a someone's favorite hangover food and it was a pickle rolled in ranch dressing and then topped with crushed up hot chitos and this week we asked you guys for a bunch of tips on weird disgusting foods that we are going to try on the podcast. So this week

we're doing a weird food combo, and that food combo with two simple ingredients, vanilla ice cream and soy sauce. Yes. And we have them in front of us now. Thank you. Thank you so much. And let me just say, I have no doubt in my mind this is going to be delicious. No, yeah.

Like, it's the perfect sweet and salty combination. To me, this is no different than dipping a French fry in a milkshake. Soy sauce and vanilla ice cream. Yeah. What God creation is this? Okay. Okay. Okay.

Is there like a certain amount of soy sauce that we should be putting onto the... Soy sauce and vanilla ice cream. Oh, geez, we're drenching this. I'm saying the comments said to try it. Stages of dinner. Oh, she hates it. Okay, cool. Here you go.

I love vanilla ice cream. It's got to be my number one for me. I think a vanilla shake is to die for. Do you need help opening that? No. Thank you. Tell me when to stop. kind of spread it out yeah that is smelling exactly like soy sauce

okay my favorite thing to do in the morning wait all of a sudden I'm not thinking I want it sorry go ahead my favorite thing to do in the morning is just have my green drink that I have on Wednesdays and then have soy sauce and dairy with three cups of coffee oh holy shit all right okay ready yeah get a bunch of good cold cold okay so So we're going to take a bite of this. Cheers, shall we? Come here. Nauseous shiver.

Okay, cheers. Fuck. Arendous. Oh, no. No, no. Oh, no. That whole time, being quiet, it was... Wow.

Okay, that was really, really, really, really, really, really bad. Really bad. Oh, my God. That was so bad. What are you feeling right now? Funny little bits of it. Wow. Worse than I could have possibly even imagined.

That tasted like straight up Break it down Just like straight up soy with like Just like a side of soy sauce Like that was just there was no ice cream in that Just like sugary soy sauce Meltage, a soy sauce milkshake is what that tasted like Just but like not even

I would rather just have plain soy sauce Obviously That was horrible I think what's insane about it is the way that it lingers and the way that it immediately covered every square inch of my mouth and then when I tried to swallow it was like it couldn't even it was just more and more and more and more and more and more and more and it was it's still there actually a little bit that was really like so so bad I can't even nothing nothing that's the thing wow just two simple ingredients you'd be shocked

two simple ingredients can ruin you like that do you want to try it again no do you no I know you like your credenzas. You always talk about credensies. I know. I feel like I brought that word into your life. You did. I didn't know what it was. Is that what's in your room currently?

No, I put my credenza in Zane's room because his was bigger. Okay. I bought another credenza. But my TV is awesome. So everyone knows, you knew what a credenza was previously? It's hard to say. It's hard to say. Pre Matt King, you knew what a credenza was?

I think that was a... I feel like you say, you talk a lot about credenza. Because I went to your house one time, and I'm like, I think you really need a credenza, Connor. Yeah. Yeah. I got one, by the way. I got a credenza.

Oh. Yeah. What kind of would we talk about? I got one from, uh, shoot, uh, West Elm. And it was on sale. So like, I'm not a West Elm, not in my budget. He got money. West Elm needs a huge wake-up call.

Uh-huh. Like, I need to talk to the CEO and be like, you're tripping balls. You're like off your rocker. Yeah. This is a side table. What world do you live in that it's, $800.

I could close my eyes and you're paying for the name. And grab materials in the woods and build the exact same. That's IKEA. I implored you to at the point. I might. I might.

Now tell me, if you were to say, if say, you didn't know what a credenza was and I say, what's a credenza? Food. A credenza would be food to you? Like an appetizer. A credenza, yeah. Or a version of like a charcutory,

but with more options. Like an Italian or some sort of, yeah, Italian appetizer. Or I would think it would be like a part of the house, like a patio or something like oh let's go out on the credenza and like have some one and have some credenza as well do you know what a pergola is a merry-go-round no isn't it like a merry-go-round no a pergola is like the thing that's on like your patio that usually like the ivy is like over it's like the wooden thing pergola oh i was going to say it's a bird no i know what a pergola is because when you go to

someone at a fancy house you go nice pergola they're like thank you wow oh no i went over to phineas and Claudia's house and I was like, I love your pergola and they were like, thank you. You're the first person to really notice our pergola. That's key. That's a level of unnecessary architecture that you really have to build your career around. Yes. It's what, like I love it in like

movies where you know like the guys trying to sneak back into or see his like girlfriend, he has to climb the pergola and then it breaks. Or jumps through and it like falls through. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a good you've asked me what my favorite words are before and pergola is a pergola or pergola pergola. Oh, pergola. Pergola is a good one

add to that list. I read my favorite words on your podcast. I got my list of favorite words. What were they? Sometimes it's a bad podcast memory. Like, just forget everything I thought of it. It's hard to remember episode by episode. It kind of blurs together. Words I like notes. Scaliwag, nefarious, smashing as in like, smashing, like the wild norberties. Vitriol, hankering, like I got a hankering. Chow, like goodbye in Europe. Rebuk. Fuselage. which is the middle of an airplane. Apropos. Uh-huh.

Is I say that right? I think it's pro pro pro pro. Apropos? Is there apropos? Yes. Yes. I was like, you know Greek? Apropos.

That's like what comes out before the entree. Ornery under the credenza. We're having a propros under the credenza this afternoon. Meet me by the pergola. Trope, erroneous. Moray. Hmm, that doesn't seem right. What was that one?

Moray, like a large-scale pattern. I feel like a lot of these are in a different language, Connor. Moore? M-O-I-R-E. Why are you putting accents on them? Oh, M-O-R-A? Yeah, a large-scale pattern. You got to work on the spelling, too, if you're interested in all these words. Morey, oh, it's a textile in with a wavy appearance, made from silk or wool or cotton.

This one I can't pronounce, but, man, I wish I could. Negligible? Bealaj. Baliage. Baliage. Baliage is what? Bealage. Bealage.

I don't know why you're adding. Come join me. Come join me on the coast. We're saying on the Bay Alage. Belliage is what girls get on their hair, right? Yes. Like a soft blonde. Have you ever switched up?

I've been blonde before. I was just telling Connor that. Yeah, I wanted to go back blonde just to have fun. Yeah. Wait. It was not good. I'll bleach my hair if you bleach your hair. I could do it again.

Yeah? Yeah, I went too hard the last time. What about if we do? What if, oh, that's not. I went blonder than that. But Beliage is like out, right? That's out of style. Ballyage is like, we had a moment.

Baleh was out. Baleage took over Ambre. I feel like Baleage is still in. Baleage is what you get when you drink like a smoothie king smoothie and you just sprint to like a bathroom in the mall. It's like what's happening there. There's a trend going around on TikTok right now where you call someone and you speak in a baby voice. And here is a little clip of it. Hi, Egan. How are you?

How are you, Aiden? What are you doing, little boy? I'm just doing some design work. And you just kind of see if they'll speak to you back in the same one. I'm so scared. So, I mean, Connor, want to do it, and I think you should call Cody, as in Cody Co. So I'm going to call him, our founding father. Right.

Professor Coe from Coe Academy. Yeah, I won't be speaking. He's so busy at 1030. He's so busy. Okay. What's he doing? Surfing? Come on.

Give me a break. I will say Kelsey did just text me. What's you say? What's your email? So I don't... So I'll call Kelsey after. Okay. Or do you want to?

No, I'm too... I can't do it. I'm calling Cody. I'm so scared. Hi, Cody. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

Good. What are you doing? Nothing. I'm just sitting around kind of thinking about you and what you're doing and stuff. Are you? Are you, what is this? Nothing. I just miss my Cody.

Are you recording the podcast? What are you doing, Cody? I'll make you some music. I love music. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff, that music. Okay, love you, Cody. Okay, love you too.

Bye. Come on, why didn't he do it back at all? Yeah, we'll disappoint it. I mean, he was making music, dude. That was a really great performance on your end, Connor. Hats off to you. Well, now I want to do someone else. Kelsey's not with him doing music.

Oh, my God. My heart's racing going pits a pads, a pizza pat. Kelsey's on the soundboard right now. Kelsey will do it back. It's not looking good. I'm angry. Kishi. I'm an angry baby.

She's producing right now. She's producing his music. Record your message after the tone. Simply hang up when done. or for delivery press the pound sign Hi Kelsey I miss you

I hope you are safe and comfy at home with the kitty cat and showy bye Joe Joe it's actually pronounced Joe Hi Kelsey

How are you I'm good How are you? you. What are you doing, Kelsey? Why are you talking like this? Because I miss you. I'm just sad because I haven't... It actually makes me want to die, which I never called you. I haven't seen you so long, Kelsey. What are you doing?

I thought you were doing like a New York accent at first. How will you? No, I'm just so sad because I miss you and I want to cuddle you. I'm just a baby. I'm not getting to you. I'm not getting to you. Come on, Kelsey. Don't you love me? I can't.

I'm like, my face is bright red right now. This is so embarrassing for everyone involved. Kelsey, what's your favorite song? Kelsey, what's your favorite snack? Go with us. Okay, Kelsey, it sounds like you're in the car. Love you, bye. Back.

Wow. If there's one thing about the Coes, they're not baby talkers. No. There's something to be said. Fuck Mary Kill, me, Cody, Noel. You, Cody, Noel? Oh, that's hard.

And then I'll do it with you, Cody. Right, okay, totally. So this is good. That's so hard. I know. Because you're talking about all of our coworkers here. And that kind of boss is. My boss is.

And since we don't have an active HR person, personnel on set, I'll just opt to go very transparent. Who am I gonna fuck out of the three of you? Yeah. That's kind of where I am. Can we not maybe do this one? I feel like this is not. I feel like you have to, but you can give a reasoning

that will kind of get you out of the hole, you know? Yeah. Like, I'm gonna kill this person, but out of respect for our friendship or something. Like, you know, kind of like that. So it's just weird, because like, I do have to have sex with one of these three. And I'm sure you guys all seem to be great lovers.

Uh-huh. So, um, I think. You can kill me. So, yeah, so. Out of respect for our, our career. Well, I think that, that one of them would rather die than have sex with me. It would, and I feel like it would be Noel. So I have to kill Noel.

Now that, now it's, sorry. Out of respect for him. Out of respect for him. Out of respect for him. And out of respect for the dynamic that we have in studio. So I have to kill Noel, unfortunately. Although I feel like he may be a stallion in the sheets. I'll never know because he's dead.

You'll never know. So I have to, you know what? I'm going to fuck you. Oh, that's really sweet. Because Cody's kind of just got like a level, like very steady put together. And you. You don't feel that. that way about me.

Well, maybe I have to kill Kelsey. No, she's not involved. But if I'm going to marry Cody, then you assume her support. Yeah, okay, then yeah. That's what it is. That's the answer. Awesome. I'm not going to answer it.

Okay. So you are so. Oh. Well, I had to knit you something for your birthday. Oh, my God. No, no, I've been having nightmares about it. What was your nightmare? It's just I have never knit this before because it's not an article of clothing

because I was like he's not going to wear that. And I had a dream that we were in this. What is it going to be? You'll see in a second. Oh, you have it? Yeah. I'm so nervous. I never knit anything for anyone before besides you.

But we were in this auditorium in my dream. And I don't know. The keynote speaker came out. I don't know the identity of the keynote speaker. And we were sitting together. And the keynote speaker was just like, okay, before we get started, Brooke has something to say. And you know I hate public speaking. So obviously I knew that the keynote speaker wanted me to give you your present.

And when I went to give it to you, I explained like Connor. The keynote speaker invited you up on stage to present. Yes. Made with my gift. Yeah. And you were up, you had to come up to. You know, Cody did a keynote speaker event last week. Congrats, Cody.

Do you think it was maybe him that? No, he wasn't. I don't even know the gender identity of the keynote speaker. That's why I just keep calling them keynote speaker. And then I presented it to you on the stage, and it wasn't what I had made. It was like this like first grader, not that there's anything wrong with first grade art.

It's exquisite. It just like wasn't what I had made. It was like very like sloppy. Yeah. And then the Please Don't Destroy Boys from SNL were in the audience and they were like booing me. And they were like, get off the stage, you're trash. and then you were like Brooke

like get off the stage because you were embarrassed by the knitting as well and then I just like ran off and that was it because I'm just like it's like a little like I had to sew a lot I'm like shaking thinking about it I had to sew a lot and it's like

it's like not like put together in the way that I would have wanted it to be but it's still I'm okay I'll be excited either way I just like receiving gift are you ready yeah okay put it under my chair in case I chickened out and was like, never mind. That's why it's on under your chair. I can't.

Okay. Here. Oh, way. So I love tote bags. Yeah. Yeah. I did. I wanted it to match your merch.

And the F is a little wonky, but just don't look too close at it. It looks awesome. I'm so glad. Oh. Thank you. I'm glad you like it. And I'm glad. that that is over with.

What if I was like, oh, and threw up in it. Yeah, no, I'm glad that you like it. And I hope that you wear it, but also you don't have to. I absolutely. Okay. And I don't want to damage it. It's fine.

It's like, I don't think you can because I sewed it together pretty tightly. So I could get a laptop in this? Yeah, I think I measured it against my laptop. Wow. Yeah. Oh, let's absolutely go. Yeah. But I didn't sew in.

I have these little like stickers that you sew in that are like made with love of Brooke but after my dream I was like I'm not sewing that in there that's so embarrassing but I always can later down the line yeah you should yeah I'm so glad great stitch work thanks Kahn there's some crazy stitchwork in this bitch yeah thank you and I did try a few different kind of stitch works that I was that I was unfamiliar with these so you'll notice if you turn it around and you look at the fibs, that's actually different stitching,

which I was having some complications. It's great. Okay, good. Very cool. Thank you. Thanks, Connor. Thanks for your... Thank you for this.

Of course. You can put anything you want in there. Cool. I have so many ideas and things I could put in here. That's awesome. I got you something, too. You did. Yeah, it's some...

I didn't have any nightmares about getting this... You put something under your chair? Yeah. Then did you look under my chair first to put that under... Huh? Did you want to put that under my chair today? No, what? The thing I'm giving you?

Yeah, no. I'm wondering if you had seen my tote bag. No, I hadn't seen it. Oh, so you didn't know. That was an absolute surprise. Okay. Wow. Do you need help?

I seem to be missing what I put. Oh, it really just took a mind of its own and went way under my chair. Is this a present? Um, yeah, sorry, I sat on it the whole way here. On accident? But, um... Oh, my God, Connor. I love it.

I ordered it on the... Sorry. Okay. So what I'm holding right here is a bumper sticker, and it says, honk if I mess up. Can I ask what inspired it? You're driving. What about it?

Well, so what kind of inspired it is that huge dance on the side of your car on the right side? And then also the huge scratch on the left side as well. Can I just say in defense of the scratches? Thank you. I love this, and I can't wait to put it on my car. It's like this. I can't wait to put it on my car. car but in my defense those

scratches first of all they're her stretch marks because she's absolutely gorgeous and second of all those are all from parking so it's like nothing nothing no dents on my car whether it be left side right side or the front corner or the back left corner have come from any on the road incidents so what you're saying is all of those are times that you've hit something that is stationary yes as we put that on as soon as you can.

Happy Russia Shana, Connor. Thank you so much and Shonatova to you. Good job. Aw. Are my hands very clammy? They are. Yeah. You're joking what?

I know. This weekend, this past weekend, Sunday night, Monday night was Russia Shana, which is Connor. What is it? That is the Jewish New Year? Yep. And we celebrated, by we, I mean we, but me. But Connor did partake a bit. I made a cougal.

which is a Jewish food of sorts, I would say. Yeah. It's kind of a big question mark as to what exactly it is, because it's different for every family that makes it. I want to kind of back up and say, you said I made the cougal, and then you said, I don't really know what's in it. So that's when I kind of lose you.

I know what's in this one, but in general, every cougal is different. There's so many nuances to the whole thing. It reminds me like when you're in health class and it's like every vagina looks different. That's the same vibe with cougal. It's like they're all different, and there's no similarities.

You know? No two coogles are the same. Or vaginas are the same. Same exact vibe. And that is in the Bible. Torah. Torah. Oh my God, I was going to say Torah, but I was going to.

Okay. You're right. Toro. Okay. Trust your gut. Yeah. You have to. Because there's some families make savory cuggles, which I won't go near with a 10-foot pole.

Yes. And then like my family makes sweet coagles, but then every sweet cougal is different. A lot are very like fluffy. This one that I've made you today and made my other friends. and made the meat very dense. Working with a lot of thick dairy products. And that's all I have to say about my cocoa really. I had a blast making it.

And I want you to have a bite of it. But then I want you to tell me after I've taken a bite what's in it. Okay. Sometimes it's better not to know. Off the bat, like beforehand. Yeah. Okay. Kind of a taste test, if you will.

It's so good. Thanks, Con. Like it tastes so good. Everyone keeps saying it's good. But then when I look at them and like rewatch the videos, took of them eating the cougal it looks like they're having a really hard time chewing it and swallowing as well as getting it down so i did say i mean i said it tastes good yeah the consistency is so fucking foul yeah it's a tough consistency yeah it kind of tastes like it's really it's really

it really it really it's really dense and thick like really cold worms and worms and eggs like scrambled it tastes good right it's really good okay what kind of notes are you picking up on in the cook i'm gonna walk through i'm gonna walk through this there's shower cream for sure yes and cinnamon yes but like I can't figure out

anything else are those noodles yes there are those really really tiny like um like angel egg noodle no they're like the egg noodles that you would find

in the Jewish or ethnic section of the supermarket that goes in chicken soup you know those no okay that's what they are teeny tiny mormies

what's kind of giving it this crust here I honestly don't know I think that's just because there's like eggs in it and when you put like an egg baking situation in a pan it's just going to become crusty on the side. So if you were to lay all these ingredients out on the table you could give me

a million guesses I never would have thought this as what would come out. So far you've said eggs sour cream, noodles from the chicken noodle soup and cinnamon. Yeah there's one ingredient that like is going to send shivers down your spine. Okay I'm going to put it down and I'm going to take one more bite and I'm going to swallow the bite and then you can tell it.

Okay. I don't actually let me swallow it. Okay. Letting you swallow? No, I'm letting you swallow, I said. Okay, wait, I have to get the taste out of my mouth. Okay. No, it's not like horrible.

It's just like for me it would be a tough pill to swallow. Okay. Okay, cottage cheese. Yeah, that's fucking gross. Yeah. There's cottage cheese, sour cream. There's another creamy thing. Cream.

A lot of cream. Cair cream, cottage cheese. Cream cottage cheese. There's another creamy white thing that don't even. I don't know. I forget. Eggs. A lot of sugar.

Eggs. I'm deleting my hinge and making a new hinge to find a Ben Stiller. A Ben Stiller that exists in the Los Angeles area. Because there has to be one. Totally. Paid up worth. of $50 for various boosts, boost features to help to help find Ben. Couldn't find him, but I did find these three men who left like comments on my pictures.

Right. And I posted this on Instagram and I was like, okay, fuck Mary Kill. Lawrence, who said, even after going through a global pandemic, your smile is still the most contagious thing. Smiley face. All right. I apologize. That was pretty cheesy and cringe. L.O.L.

sweat emoji. So that was Lawrence. Not seeing any faults. Then DeRaj said, what's your favorite toothpaste brand? Okay. Okay. Adding him to the equation.

Okay. And then Inar said, hey, I'm kind of attracted to your shy smile. Oh my God. Easy peasy. So my question was fuck Mary Kill Lawrence. DeRaj. Enar. And I will say a lot of girls responded saying that they have both received the same DMs

from DeRaj, re-toothpaste. Okay. And Lawrence, Rhee, even after going through a global pandemic, your smile is the most good thing. Yeah, so that could factor into your decision. If I didn't know that, I would have said Mary Lawrence. Okay, he's even after a global pandemic. Yeah, your smile? Yeah.

Most contagious thing, by the way. Fuck, Inar. Hey, I'm kind of attracted to your shy smile. Just kind of, though. Because he's also shy. He's shy. And then. He's using the last one.

That's going to be Deeraj. Yeah, unfortunately, D.Rong. Our very own Cheyenne, our editor is a victim of DeRaj. Really? She was able to let me know that. Maybe, maybe if someone would just respond, he would stop asking people their favorite toothpaste brand. That is beautiful approach. Never even took a second to consider his POV.

Right. He's desperate. He's just trying to brush his teeth. Okay, you know what? Change my mind. Marrying DeRaj. I'm going to still fuck I'm inar. I don't even really like to say that.

Sounds like, I thought it sounds illegal. I think just, I think I need to marry him. He seems like the only one I could spend the rest of my life with. Enar. One, because he's not saying that to everyone. Right. Well, at least as far as we know. It's the most personalized because I do have a shy smile.

Let's see. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know the picture. It's me on the beach and I'm just like, So good, yeah. That's like the picture I use on dating apps. And that's a shy smile. So he was being authentic to.

Personal. Yeah. Lawrence, I think kill. He's got to go. I actually totally agree. Kill. And then fuck DeRaj. Yeah.

After you tell him the toothpaste. So I think that's. I actually totally. I'm on board. Yeah. Okay. So first of all, someone is going to beat the fuck out of me on the shit fuck out of me on the street for wearing these.

Yeah. I'm not going to fight back. I'm going to lay down and pretend like I'm dead. My bear balls are not going to help me in that situation. I could have ugly bear balls on, but like, they're like, mash. The brands that are like so masculine, like dude wipes. Oh, I use dude wipes, by the way. You're the exception.

But like, you know, dude wipes were invented because baby whites were too gentle on the ass. Like, dude wipes, unless there's sandpaper, like. chill out. Like, their baby wipes. No, I would love to do like an in-depth comparison of a dude wipe versus just like another wet wipe. Well, I love how it's the same. I've done both. But I like how women's stuff is always like summer breeze.

And men's stuff is always like axe murderer. I can't think of one. Like I use all men's products. Dude wipes, washing the whole body with dude wipes. Razor, men's five blade. Extra sharp. deodorant old spice I also wear old spice

The old spice ones are really fun They know that they're making fun at which I like They're like pure sport It's like what sport It's just like I Like the feminine ones just like don't work Like I was starting using Barry teen spirit And third grade and my teacher was like

No you need something stronger Or you can't come back into this classroom Or you can't come back Or you can't come back No Can you speak in my? Yeah, sorry. I just said you're scaring the shit out of me

and I don't want to look at you. Ew. You know, ew, I really, please wash that off. I'm not so rude. What if I was actually pissed? No. We really nailed our guests this week. I thought you were pooping.

No. You weren't at all? No, I was trying to paint this shit on my face. Free hand. Like, I actually, like, I'm not joking. Like, I feel nauseous. That's so scary. You're going to do that the whole episode?

You think I'm going to go run into the bathroom and take my makeup off? How are you going to talk? Connor Does anyone have a hair Have a hair tie? Ew, you're I really like I'm not just I like I'm sorry

Ew Hairball Have I told you That kiss scares me a lot You said we weren't doing costumes I threw this together last minute Can you help Can you put my hair out?

I don't think I can Can you put my hair up for me please Please I'm really feeling sick Friend to friend. Yeah, I'm gonna, but it's like I'm not happy about it. Putting my microphone down. Okay.

So it's really just the front part so I can read the screen. Thank you. You can put it up in like a high pony or a bun would work. Yeah. More so like my bangs. Can you kind of dive head first? I've got this Jake. No, because the whole point is the front of my...

Well, I don't know what you want me to do. I don't want to get too close to your face. out of fear. And it's also soaking wet. Okay, I just can't move. Hey, Brooke. And welcome back. Everybody, do another episode.

I'm like dead serious, Connor. I don't know how I'm going to talk to you. Like, I can't. I can't. I think it was like two months ago at this point. I, like, I think I talked about it on here. But like really, really convinced myself that I was like terminal, like dying, dying. Because I had a bump in my armpit.

And I was like, that's like, that's the telltale sign of death. And it went away. Yeah. But even though it went away, like, I, like, still, like, had this, like, I'm, like, life is, like, slipping through my fingers, which is, and I was really, like, depressed and upset, which is awesome, by the way, because I didn't know that, like, I had that much of a will to live. So I'm very excited to know that, like, I care about my life in that, in that capacity.

So that's an exciting thing to learn about yourself. but I was just like really like depressed and like to my therapist I was like I like I'm dying I feel like I'm sick like something's wrong like I'm so like I'm tired like I have no energy and she's like okay like you're depressed you're not dying and I was like no like I really really am dying and I was like so like the past two months I've just been like so low energy and depressed because I've convinced myself I was dying so went to the doctor finally after making the appointment with the the initial armpit bump they were able they said we can get you in in February and I said I'll probably be dead by then is there anything you can do for me earlier so they were able to get me in two months from then so finally that was last week went got my blood drawn turns out nothing life threatening yeah like not yeah I'm not going to die good is amazing and immediately a switch like flipped it turns out it was all in my head yeah like I feel completely completely fine now. Whereas this time last week, I would have, like, I was, eyes were closing,

exhausted, feeling sickly. And now I feel like I could run the New York City Marathon. That is so scary how much control your brain has. Oh, everything's mental. It just like goes back to the placebo. It goes back to placebo. You could have a positive placebo. So scary. You have a negative placebo. Like that is truly like I'm scared of how much power my brain has. But anyway, when I was getting my blood taken, 50-50 chance if I'm going to pass out. when that happens. And T.W, if you're squeamish with blood,

I'm going to tell you about getting my blood taken. There's a T-A-Dubs. Blood. The doctor was like, do you faint? And I was like, yeah, sometimes. So she laid me down.

And you know how? I don't know if you faint at all? But you know how doctors, they try to distract you by talking to you? Like, while they're inserting the needle and drilling your blood? And they've met their match because you were like,

I have a podcast. I know what you're doing. No, not. Yeah, I know what they're doing, and it's, they're, most of the time, it's, it's, it's like when they're, they're trying to give a babyish name. Yeah, yeah, it's the same kind of thing. So she, like, pulls my, pulls my arm up, pulls my sleeve up. And I have this, you know, I have my tattoo and she goes, oh, you have a tattoo. That's lovely.

She's trying to stick the needle. I'm like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, not wanting to talk at all. I just would rather do this in complete silence on my own through deep breathing techniques. She goes, wow, my sister-in-law has a tattoo on. her back, but she got infected and then it kind of scabbed over and then after

the scabbing it was like pussing a little I'm like, are you absolutely kidding me right now? Sticking this needle in this part of my arm, the arm armpit, that's what's so sensitive to me. It's like thin. Like that's what's going to make me nauseous. And then she goes

oh shoot, you're vein rolled. The second she said vein rolled I'm unconscious. You best. Yeah. Immediately. Like I was laying down so I didn't faint, but like out of consciousness completely upon vein rolling after she was talking about the pus and the scabbing of her sister-in-law's tattoo on her back. So she was able to get me apple juice just in time for trying again on this arm, which did not have a tattoo. And I said, I think I just would rather do some silent deep breathing for this one.

And then I was able to pull through. And then now my blood results, I love looking at those. Like I would do a whole podcast just like reading you my blood results. I'm sure you wouldn't be super interested, but like how cool is that that they can like measure? I've never had done it. You've never gotten your blood drawn? Mm-mm. Oh my God.

It's so cool to like see your cholesterol and like all those other things that happen in your body. Your glucose level. Mine don't come back. I'd be like, you're an empath. This week on close friends. That is actually saying that our viewers aren't going to be able to unsee. Do you rather get a bad hand job from your grandma or a good hand job from your grandma? The blood squirts out of my arms, like, because it was such a fine little hole that it just spurts all over the wall behind me.

I have a 401k at this point, and I'm shitting my pants. Yeah. Like sober. Sign up on TMG Studios.com. TV to watch a full bonus episode.