Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Catching Up With Kelsey Ko

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

MERCH: http://bncmerch.com  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://tmgstudios.tv  Brooke looks a little different. This week, Connor is joined by none other than Kelsey as his co-host. They catch up on each other’s lives, discuss Kelsey’s thoughts on being a DJ wife, and also check in on Brooke after her European tour!   Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc Get PayPal Honey for FREE at https://JoinHoney.com/bandc. Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BANDC and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to https://www.honeylove.com/BANDC! #honeylovepod This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BANDC  B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa 0:00 Is there ANY ONE Else 1:14 Intro 1:47 Clearing Up The Rumors 2:20 Life With Insurance 5:05 Know Your Worth 6:19 Catching Up! 10:20 Accents Under Pressure 11:40 Honey 13:09 Checking In On Brooke! 16:38 The Lost Submarine 26:24 ZocDoc 28:05 Connor’s Co Worker 29:34 Drunk Tik Toks 33:23 Cody’s Hair Eras 34:00 DJ Wife Kelsey!! 36:17 Cody’s Winston House Show 37:34 When You Gotta Go… 41:18 International Jet Setters  47:17 Traveling With Friends 45:47 HoneyLove 50:15 A Regular Poop Schedule 53:01 Stressful Inside Jokes 54:37 Party Planner Connor 57:11 BetterHelp 58:29 Name 5 1975 Songs… 59:54 Weird Bodily Noises 1:01:20 Stewart Little Ick 1:03:05 Paddington Spoilers Ahead 1:06:27 Connor’s Pet Pig 1:09:41 The Scariest Animals 1:11:55 Cucumba! 1:14:33 Rolling Da Bones 1:15:34 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, I guess, does anyone know where Brooke is? She was supposed to land, right? Yeah, I think so. My texts aren't going through to her, though. I'm trying. We have to start, though, because I, you know, I have a hard out today. I have that rash that I need to get. It's spreading quickly.

Do we have anyone else, like, here today that could, can we just... I can do it solo. I'd rather do it with somebody, though. Hey. Hey, do we have... What? Do we have anyone else at all? Hey, Cody.

Good haircut. Thank you. Like that. You don't want to do it? No, I do. I just want to keep options open just in case. Oh my God. Okay, yes.

Like, sometimes you don't know what you need until it's right in front of you. I would love for you to sit down. Hi, Kelsey. Kelsey. No, no, no. I wanted to say, I wanted to say it correctly. I wanted to say, guys, we have Kelsey Coe in the studio today.

That's me. Hey, Brooke. Hi, Connor. Are you ready to MAP? I'm ready to pee. Ignorance is bliss. I'm living in a world of my own, and it's awesome. Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five.

Where were you? In Pennsylvania. Touch grass, might I suggest. We're just going to dive right in. today. Also, before we get started, I'm not wearing my wedding ring. And I just feel like I should just say that that was an accident. I'm not wearing any jewelry.

I don't want the rumors to get going, you know. That was an accident. We were running late so I couldn't go back and get it. People are so in tune, too. They're really dialed into all the details. They probably would be. Someone saw a new mole on my neck last week. Really?

Yeah. So I'm glad you addressed that right off the bat. That's kind of crazy. Did you get it checked out? No. You should. I should. But I just wanted to say, I think we'll be talking about Zococ at some point during this.

I love Zoc Doc. Me too. I am going to the doctor and it's going to be probably like a whole day, if not several visit situation because I've got the list. I've got the running list. It's been so many years. I think like right around when I met you. is when I started my journey towards securing health insurance. Oh my God.

I finally got it like two weeks ago. Oh my God. Well, you're going to have to go to a dermatologist for the mole. Doc Doc, it's fine. You can easily find one. I actually love. Is that the same thing as a doctor, though? Like, I can just go get a, I can just go with my health insurance to the dermatologist?

Yeah. Oh, cool. Okay. Yeah. Germatologists are doctors. Because my ass just found out about a deductible. Yes. Get insurance.

they said, it'll be great, they said. By the way, on top of that insurance, go ahead and pay us some cash. Yeah, it's expensive. It is to stay alive. Yeah, but it's worth it. And now you can get your moles checked out. Is it worth it?

It is worth it. Yeah. You don't want to know what it would be if you went to get that mold checked out on your full dime. It'd be expensive. I know. You know, I just watched someone's stories.

More expensive. I'm not, this is not, we've never claimed to be a medical podcast, but I just saw someone's Instagram story and I'm not giving advice at all and I don't want to test this theory either because I love to know where this is going. I'm a person with health insurance

but Andrew Mishan, a comedian he posts on his story the other day that he just like got a bill and it was like extremely high and he was like I'm not paying that that seems really high and they were like oof you're right and they cut it to like one tenth

what? That sounds fake. It sounds fake. Did they know who he was or something? I don't know because he did follow it up with an announcement for one of his comedy shows. So I'm not sure if that was clickbait or it was going to... It was supposed to boost the algorithm so that the next story would have more views, but it worked on me. He's getting...

That's true. He might have a show coming up. He just believed it. Everyone should check out his show. Okay, can you negotiate your medical bills? Yes, it can be done. What? The billing departments of health care facilities and medical offices are used to negotiating.

That's, like, so annoying to me because, you know what? It's like you're sick. Like you probably like, maybe you just gave birth. You want to get on the phone and be like, I think that this should be less money. Can I get a 100? Can I get a 200, 200, 200, 200. Can I get a, shut up, bitch.

Yeah. That's just crazy. Yeah. You shouldn't have to do that. You got a barter. We're going to hit the flea market. Then we're going to hit urgent care. Have you ever bartered at a flea market?

I, you know, I'll be like, can't. Can you take a little bit less? I only brought a 20. And they're like, I don't have change. I'm like, okay, I didn't take the 20. That's as far as I'll go. I've never even attempted. I'm way too uncomfortable.

My cousin Julia, you know Julia. Yeah, I know Julia. She, I went with her. I took her to a flea market here once and she was like really good at it. And I was like, you can do that? I had no idea that that's like people did that. That's the bread and butter. They could be like this $4,000.

And I'd be like, absolutely. And that, and it should be. And like, and like, not that I like should or could give them $4,000, but like I just, I like will accept whatever they tell me. Know your worth at the end of the day. I think maybe I should work on that. Oh, I was talking about the person selling his. That's true. But for me personally, I should know my worth and be like, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Sorry to cut you off on the medical bill thing. It was kind of starting to stress me out. No, that's the important thing about tangents is that they're important. Well, I'm so excited to have you.

People do always say that. I'm so excited to have you on today. Me too. We were just saying I haven't seen, we haven't seen each other in a couple months. It's been a while. It's been a long time. And we love to hang out. Like, we hang out as friends.

Yeah. Like, we see each other often, I feel. Yeah, we do. So it's sad when I don't see you for a long time. Well, it's interesting because I was saying, Like right when you guys, you guys moved. Yeah. I moved way close to you.

Right. And I can't help but feel like that timing. It was odd. Was odd. Yeah. It was a little bit odd. Yeah. But I just, I do want to make it clear it wasn't personal.

Coincidence. It was a coincidence. But, you know, I think that it keeps. It keeps, there are. I'm just kidding. It keeps some of the mystery alive. It does. Are you, where do you live now?

Yeah. And also, like, if we were like, if we lived too close to get, like, for too long, I feel like things would have gotten, like. Out of hand. Out of hand. You need to, I think, like, you need to, you need to miss your friends sometimes. You really do. Yeah.

And we ran into each other one single time in this. It was lovely. It was beautiful. We were both going, like, are both, Cody as well, going to get caught both groups of us, both units. of households. Yes. Walking to get coffee and we came back.

You were going to the bank, if I remember correctly. I was. Yeah. That's another one that blows my mind. A physical bank. Yeah, it was crazy that you were walking for the bank. Like, is this New York? I'm heading to the bank.

Yeah, it was really odd. Like, for what were you doing here? Well, you didn't see the gun in the huge sack in my back pocket. You wondering how I can afford my new house? It was a stick up, babe. that's why I was going so early yeah that makes sense no I was trying to open a new account

and get a checkbook it's also crazy because that bank like is terrifying it is home of the loveliest group of employees of Bank of America really I've never been inside because to me it feels like it says Bank of America outside but inside like it's just an empty room I wanted them to put I was like you guys should really put a bar in here

because they were playing great music. I was like, this is so much better than any other bar on the street. And they're like, this is a bank. And I was like, well, you guys were fun? Like, you guys would probably make a mean margarita. I don't know. It was a good time. I actually ended up having to go like three or four times because there you have no

necessary documentation. And I was like, well, that's why I'm here because I'm trying to get a second credit card. You did seem to be showing up quite empty handed. It was, yeah, I brought not even an ID. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. What were you thinking?

I don't know. Okay. I mean, that's also like I probably, I mean, like, luckily I have a purse. And so I feel like things are just in there. Luckily, I have purse. I said a purse. Oh, a purse. I have a purse, I said.

I have purse. Luckily, I have purse. I have purse. I have shoe. I have hat on head. What do you, what you have, Kel's? I'm just saying my shit's just. happens to be there.

You have no ring. You leave home. I ring home. Okay. Wait, remember when you called me on this podcast talking like a baby? Oh, yeah, TVT. I call, we were doing baby voices, like prank calls for baby voices, and I called Kelsey and I was like, hey, Kelsey, how you doing?

Like, I don't know why. How are you? How about you? You thought I was doing like a New Yorker accident. Like, baby is, like, the most ground zero accent you can possibly do, like, impression. And I, I went full, like, kind of get a bacon, egg, and cheese. Whang! It's kind of hard.

It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. I've, like, historically have trouble mixing my accents together. Like, I'll start doing a British, and it goes straight into, like... Like, Australian. But, and then straight to Texas, like, redneck. So, so they're not your strong suit.

They're not. Never been. And we've never claimed to be an impressions podcast. That's true. But you could be. I feel like Brooke would be good at them. She won't do one. She won't even do an accent.

I totally get that. Yeah. No. I begged. But it's really hard when someone like is like, do it. Do it. Do it. You know?

Dance, monkey. Yeah. I'll do something like a bunch of times if no one's really paying attention. And then the minute they're like, wait, Kelsey, do that impression of blah, blah. I'm like, no. I suddenly am paralyzed. I can't figure out what to do. I never actually spoken.

Yeah. No, I can't do that. But I could do it if you don't ask. Yeah. Maybe next time, don't ask Brooke to do it. You do one and be like, oh my God, don't they talk with this, la la la la. And then she'll be like, yeah, they're so like, la la, la, and then she'll do it. Yeah.

I mean, I know she'd be good at it too. I know she'd be good at it. Oh, look at her up there. I miss her. Should we give her a call? Yeah, wasn't she like on a plane? So, guys, that was all improv earlier. It was horrible.

Cody walked in and I was like, fuck, what was I going to say? No, we were laughing back there. Okay, good. Yeah. I meant to say congrats on six million subs on YouTube did. Cody. Oh, we can let him know. When he gets back in here, we'll scream at him.

He would appreciate that. Let's see. Call Lady Ephron. Isn't she on a plane? Or is she already home? She's here. I think her sleep schedule is so out of whack that she's awake. Oh, no, she texts me.

I'll be awake until I have to buy my 1975 tickets at 9.58. Hi, Brooke. Hi, Kelms. I miss you. I miss you. Thank you so much for filling in for me. Oh, my God. You're so welcome.

I feel like I could never do you justice, but I'm happy to try. You do me justice every day just by existing. I'm feeling embarrassed that I'm just like completely home. Oh, my God. And not still abroad at all, by the way. You've also posted more on your Instagram story this morning than I saw you post on your whole entire 10-day European vacation. I've never been more awake.

I thought I was going to be dead. And also, my original flight was supposed to get in at like 2 a.m. last night. But they had moved forward with canceling that an hour before departure and leaving me in Lisbon. So I got on a new one for the small price of 2,000 euros. And I got in much earlier. Small price to pay.

Listen, I feel like you deserve a day off. Yeah. Thank you, Elsie. That means the world. Anytime. I'm missing you guys. I kind of wish I was there. We're missing you so much.

We wish you could be here, but we know you're traveling. Yeah, I'm really booked solid, so. Yeah, where are you right now? You know. Are you in bed? No. I'm on the couch. Wait, did you get 1975 ticks?

No, they're going on at 10. How are you feeling? What time is it? Yeah, we're getting close. Does anyone want a ticket? Yeah. I would actually maybe love, wait, what day is a concert? Um, it is October 2nd.

Well, cheese. I don't need to do. Oh my God, wait, I kind of want to go. Yeah, get Cody, Connor, and I ticket. And Izzy. And Izzy, that's probably like 2,000 euros. But it's a small price. I'm getting the best tickets possible, so...

No, I need... I kind of need to see that, so yeah, I would love for you to snack us all. Yeah, just get five. Just snack five, if you would have mine? Okay, but that's perfect. Awesome. Have you guys talked about the submarine yet? We're getting there.

What are your thoughts so far? I don't know. I was just curious. And like, Brooke, I want to encourage you if you have a ton of thoughts on the submarine, I guess we already phoned you in. I was like, you could probably make it for the end, and we could say it. I know. Well, I can't because I have 1975 tickets going on. That's true. That's true. I could make it for the bonus, probably.

You know what? Just focus on one battle at a time. And this next one is Maddie Healy. Okay, my thoughts on the submarine. Okay, we're going to hit the submarine. Yeah, give us the submarine thoughts because I don't really have a lot. Well, tell me now, Connor, like you're still more scared of space in the deep sea. For sure, and I'm glad you brought that up because, you know, I, the Titanic is my favorite movie. I've, Titanic's my favorite movie. I'll watch that back to, I'll watch that back to back to back if I, if the opportunity was presented. I don't know. I love, I love the ups. I love the downs. I love.

The big down. Yeah, all the way down. It's a really low down. Yeah. 2.4 miles down, actually, to be precise. I got 13,000 feet? Just about Brooke, yeah. And thank you for bringing up. Thank you for bringing up. And for our metric listeners using the metric system can't help you there. We've never claimed to be a metric system podcast. We need one of those, though.

Someone has someone, hey, watch this space. Yeah. So I, Brooke, you're not going to catch me. Like, if I'm a billionaire and I have an option to go to space this afternoon or the mall, I'm going to the mall. Yeah. But as a billionaire, I don't know. My thoughts on both of these options is like I don't understand how billionaires, the least probable person to be bored are so bored that they're going to get in any sort of vessel and leave. Wait, but go to the mall or the Titanic?

Well, now I'm choosing the mall based on the track record. Yeah, but you would have gone to the Titanic. I may have gone. You would have gone to see the wreckage. Like, you like it that much. Either one of you. Well... Oh, no.

I would rather die on land. I totally understand that. What do you think, Kells? I wouldn't have gone on the submarine. You know, I was watching a Mary Kayne National movie the other day. And they said that the easiest way to get to Hawaii was by submarine. Isn't that kind of insane of them? Maybe these billionaires should have reached out to both Mary Kate and Ashley.

Yeah. For advice before departure. Yeah. Taking the track. I had some thoughts on my notes, actually, that I'm going to pull up. Well, do you know about the three possibilities of what could have happened to it as of this point? Because I'd be happy to share. Okay, yeah, jump in.

Give us the three possibilities, Brooke. Three things that could have happened so far. One, it's floating on the surface. but they can't get out because you can only open it it's screwed in from the outside and they'll just die on the surface because there's no oxygen unless people find it in time they've got like 20 hours left or something 22

22 and the second possibility is that it exploded in on itself under the water which I think people are saying it's like the best way to go because you would die right away because you would just die instantly instead of the third option which is they're stuck under the Titanic and they would just either die

a slow death of no oxygen or people are saying they're probably reverting to cannibalism, which is crazy. I wonder, see, I think that they're, I don't think that they're that hungry at this point. They probably packed food. I think that they're just, someone's farting

and like that was my initial dot. That's like, someone definitely is gassy. Like when I go on a plane, I'm like, I... Maybe it's the opposite effect when you go under, though. Skinny. They're shitting and puking 100%.

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book a submarine to go see the submarine wreckage. Do you think that's going to be the next? People said they're about to start doing that for people. No, listen, I think everybody's going to be fine. Me too. I'm going to just like, let's just, I don't want to think about them being stuck underneath the Titanic

eating each other. That's like, that's insane to think about. Yeah, I obviously hope everyone's okay. Yeah. Me too. I saw this other thing. Right.

Because people are already making jokes about it, which seems crazy. Like, way too soon because it's still going on. Right. But I saw this thing that's like we're having trouble, like, empathizing with them because it's not something that can just like happen to everyone. You just can't. Right. I feel like people should maybe just be empathetic about the people that are like

stuck in the deep sea regardless. So... Yeah, no, I'm not having an issue feeling empathy. I didn't think you were just to be clear. I want to... I would like to...

At this time, I would also like to talk about their friends and family that are probably not doing well except the stepson of the billionaire who's at a Blink 182 concert because he feels like his family would like him to be there to get his mind off things. That is a real fact. He posted it on Twitter and tagged...

He said that? He tagged Tom DeLore. and Travis Barker. And there's a meme going around of Courtney Kardashian holding a sign up that says, Travis, my stepfather is stuck underneath the Titanic in a submarine. I mean, like,

you can't write this stuff. I did see the tweet that was like, you know, he's singing at the top of his lungs, where are you? Like the stepson is... He's trying to take his mind off things. Everybody copes differently. But tweeting and tagging Tom DeLong?

Listen, I really just like I... Everyone copes in their own way. Maybe Tom can help. There's a lot of nuances in the stepson, stepfather relationship, I bet. That's so true, Brooke. That's why we need you here. That's kind of irrelevant. At Blink 182, at Tom DeLong, at Travis Barker, at Mark Hoppice.

My stepdad, my stepdad Hamish is on the submarine loss at sea. I'm devastated, but coming up to the San Diego show tonight, so you guys guys can give me hope and cheer me up okay that's a little thirsty but he included the link i'm sorry the asking them to cheer him up is pretty wild i they're stuck at sea but i'm coming tonight so maybe you guys could cheer me up and take me backstage and maybe i could meet you and you could bring me on stage and then maybe with that hope if you guys do that maybe you'll save all of those people that are in the submarine if you guys do that. My stepdad.

For my stepdad. For my stepdad, after all, Hamish. I'd love to think I would never in a million years do that. Would you do that? No. Brooke, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, I was going to say, let's paint a picture. Say you don't get 1975 tickets in about eight minutes.

Who, who in your family is stuck in the same? submarine. I'm... That's just suck. Let's say Connor's in a submarine. Yeah, what if I was in a submarine? Would you reach out to Maddie Healy to get help? Connor, I know for a fact you would 100% want me to ethically cloud chase in your honor.

Brooke, I know you would need to ethically clout chase your stepfather Hamish to get me out of that submarine. 100%. And by the way, I know, is it Hamish or Hamish? I was just reading Hamish, but I mean, like, how, I don't know. I think it's Hamish. Oh, it is? Hamish sounds like a farter. Who said, yeah, so confidently.

Luke. Yeah, no, it is. Yeah, it's Hamish. It says ham. Hamish. You don't know that for sure. You don't know what his parents were really thinking when they named him is all I'm saying. It's spelled like hamish

Well his nickname Would be ham and people are gonna be like Is that short for Hamish No it's actually short for Hamish Ham sandwich Oh my god The tickets are seeming really crazy

Okay well remember to multiply them by five Yeah Yeah I will Just to put it in perspective before you click by Also, you should check out Seat Geek. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seat Geek.

I'm sure Seek could be really helpful with this. I love Seat Geek. If only they had a way to help us. Well, Kelsey, I'm glad you brought that up. They do. Thank you, Seat Geek for sponsoring. Brooke. Yeah?

I'm going to let you go. I'm going to let you go. Nothing so far. We were just kind of getting into it. We were trying to call you before you were going to be incapacial. Which it seems like you're totally capacitated. I actually am kind of feeling myself becoming more incapacitated as time goes on. Well, my right arm is shockingly sore from holding my phone.

Yeah, his little fingers are getting tired. I'll let you let me go. Brooke, we love you. I love you so much. I'll text you immediately, if not sooner, about my ticket success. Yeah, let us know. Everyone updated. Thank you.

Okay, love you guys. Love you, Brooke. Bye. Bye. Wow. Love Brooke to death. Love her. Her birthday was, what, like three days ago, four days ago, three days ago.

And I was in Hawaii over the weekend, and every, every DM I got, Brooks' birthday is coming up. Yeah. I think they thought I left my wedding ring at home. I know when Brooke's birthday is. Thank you, so much. like the parisocial relationships really tend to

to take a toll, I feel, a lot of times. Yeah. Well, we have this inside joke where we call each other co-workers. Yeah. And it's very, it's like that Dwight Shrewd thing where it's like, it is your birthday. Right. And so I always say like, happy birthday to my co-worker. Right.

Brooke. Yeah. And I got ripped two goddamn shreds in my DMs. Like, really? Are you serious? That's what you do? I'm like, I'm like, I'm fully texting Brooke right now. Yeah. It's also like a joke. Yeah. It's okay. People... Well, since we have this like very serious hard-hitting podcast with tons of information, people don't see us as like the joking type.

That's so true. Online, so... That is really true. Did you have any more thoughts on the submarine? I didn't even have any to begin with. Honestly, are you okay? Yeah. Did you...

No. Are you okay? Mm-hmm. Why? I don't know. I kind of got worried for you for a second. No. You almost choked on your snot. Wait, you know what you do you talk about?

You know what I was like thinking about the other day? What? Why like the drunk TikToks that we make? They're so funny. They're so bad. Like I was looking at one yesterday and I was like, why did the three of us stand there and think, yep, no, we should definitely. Yeah, the kick cat one. Like, I'm like this.

Like my eyes are half open. I'm literally like, you know. you're not you when you're hungry. Like I'm like, I can't even speak. And then we all look at each other and we're like, post-hit. My favorite part is we used to drink, drink. And then we would film these six hours thinking that they're brilliant ideas. The DD one.

The DD. What's the funniest part of was we'd always film them in the kitchen with that huge, very reflective window. So anytime we'd film from this side, we're, there's one person in frame and the other two are like this. getting ready to talk. Just standing there. And there's one person, like, really, and then there'll be two people to be both sides. It's like. It's so bad.

It's so bad. But there's, and then the shout out to Carly Acklino one. When I made us, when I made you tag her in the, just put her in the caption. Was it this one? When we were dancing and you ate the banana. We danced to, which is just, I feel like falling in love.

Um, cuffed by Beyonce. Beyonce. Carly's in town this week. No, she's not. Yeah. What? She texted me yesterday. Oh my God.

We should all go. Should we hang on? Something. Yeah. No, I DMed her once. Well, we can DM her once. I DMed her once. She didn't respond and she doesn't follow me and I was embarrassed.

She's a lovely girl. I mean, I'm obsessed with her. Yeah. We should, we should, we'll offline about this. No. No. I would be so awkward. I'd be like this.

Hey. You're doing a comedy show tonight? No, not tonight. Oh, I just feel like you do them every Wednesday. I do the one every Wednesday, or not every Wednesday, like once a month Wednesdays at Aviator Nation. Yeah, I know. It's coming up. I want to go.

You guys should come. I want to. Oh, there's also that one video that I can't remember. Good segue, because it's just funny. There's one video of us getting, and we would do this every single time we would like leave a bar, is get a hot dog from the street meat lady.

And there's a video that I posted when you guys got engaged of like, it's on my Instagram of me like trying to feed you the hot dog. And we're having the most genuine laughter, but I don't think it was fun. It's not even funny besides this laughing. No, so and the thing is like I'm so terrified of getting food poisoning

that like I will not eat one of those. Oh, they're so good. I know. Like, everybody loves them, but I'm so scared of getting sick that I won't eat one. And I think I was like uncomfortable laughing when you were trying to like force feed it.

Let's not. Let's not take that out of context. Well, and Cody was there. Cody was in the room with us right now. Cody was there. Oh, there it is. Oh, my God. Why did I do butthole lips too?

Like I turned, man, I was going through a phase at that point. Oh, we were so, like, young and fun. Aw. Cute. Why? I mean, I will never forgive myself for wearing that fucking jacket. Through more eras. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, he's Taylor Swift's Eres tour. Yeah, the Eres tour. He is, like, he has most versatile hair. Yeah. I mean, come on. No, I mean, this is my favorite right now yeah he does look good i told him like i told him like

20 times yesterday that he looks good oh sexy mama rah oh that's so baby's sexy you're sick a DJ wife baby looks so good up there babe oh god you look so hot uh DJ wife yeah you're going full

you're got a full leather outfit six inch heels in the bag you look so fucking good up there with that air cut. I love your mullet, babe. That's exactly what it's like. What's it like going to Vegas, like, constantly? Oh, my God. It's awesome.

Yeah. Awesome. Yes, you love it. I fucking love it out there. I'm obsessed with it up there. I'm obsessed with it. When I walk into that fucking casino and I smell the air, I know what's coming for me that night.

Infozema. I just love it. love it so much i mean i can't get enough of it and i'm happy that i get to go so often i it's you're glowing thank you yeah you've got that you've got that vagus glow like a dull yellow you've got that encore pool party glow athlete's foot staff infection you should come one time though i would love to like it's fun for like a one-off Sure. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how it ended up happening where I have several actual close friends that are DJs that go on encore and play shows. We've got Nico Sway. Classic. Of course, Nico. Disco lines. Nico and Sway.

Love him. Nico and Slay. Are there two of them? Yeah. I've only met one. You've only met Nico, yeah. But I'm sure. Did we call him Nico? Yeah. Oh my God. I call him Nick. I call him Nick. Well, there was the longest time where I thought Nico was a nickname. And then we are very, very close friends. And that's when it was apparent that his name's Nico. Oh, my God. Which he probably thought, oh, he nicknamed me immediately and it stuck.

Wait, his name is Nico? His name's Nico. Oh, that's horrifying. Well, I guess I kind of really, I'm usually just like, hey. Yeah. And Dev. And Dev. She's so sweet.

Anyway, sorry, keep naming all the DJ friends. No, I mean, that's like, Sway, Disco Line, Cody. Two friends. Two friends. It's interesting how many of them there are. And they're all like in this circle and I love all of them. Yeah.

And it's so fun. I love going to their shows. It's so fun when you know the DJ. Yeah. Remember Cody's DJ show at Winston House? Yeah. That was his first like thing and Dylan France was there right? Yeah.

And he was stiff as a. board. Yeah. And I was very drunk. We were all very drunk. Yeah. We were like, we were the support team and we really like was really made sure that he felt celebrated.

I feel bad for saying he was stiff. But I'm saying that because now I've, I've been watching videos and stuff. And like he's like full. I think he was a little bit nervous. Yeah. I was nervous. I think that's why we were drunk. Yeah.

Me too. Like I did the whole thing that Brooke says she does at my comedy shows where she gets drunk on my behalf. Mm-hmm. Because I don't really drink at my shows because I'm like not wanting. Yeah. You have to take one for the team. Yeah.

But like when you're in the crowd and that's your friend up there or your husband. Yeah. Then. Were we married? I don't think we were married yet. You weren't. No, we weren't. Wow.

I love Winston House. Yeah. I hit or miss. It is. Yeah. But I love when Cody performs there that one time. I love that one time that Cody performed. That was a such fun night.

We went and saw a hosier there randomly. Yeah. No, I was with you that night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But we left early. understandable.

Yeah. Yeah, great place. We have so many friends that are teenagers now. I was going to tell you this. Okay. Because it's so funny. It was another night that we were leaving a bar and we were walking home. And my cousin Logan, whose birthday it was this week, and this is going to come full circle.

That's a funny story. There's not many people I love more than loads. She's a special, special girl. One of the most special people I've ever met in my life. So funny. One special thing about my cousin Logan is that she can pee anywhere. I'm going to tell this story. I feel like she wouldn't care.

Okay. Because when she has to go, she has to go. And everyone, you know, I'm a supporter of free pee. Free the pee. Free the pee. And one of these nights, we were walking somewhere. We were walking back to our house. Right.

Can I just be clear with the distance that that is? Yeah. So the bar, like the bar to our house. Right. Maybe like seven minute walk. When this girl has to go, she has to go. There's no... Pretty short walk.

There's no telling her to stop. So anyways, we are coming home and she decides like it is, it's now or never. And she pulls over and there's one or two people with her. By the way, you can see our house where she is. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. We were across the street from where you live. We were basically home.

It's, I don't know. It's almost like I'm going to do it because I'm a powerful woman and I'm going to stop and I'm going to pee here. Yeah. Anyway, so it's on the side of the car, whatever. She goes to pee and. Someone who resides in the bushes jumps out and makes a noise I've never heard before. It was like Eliza Thornberry's younger brother, and I forget his name, but he goes, Donnie.

What is it? Donnie. Donnie hops out of the bushes and attacks Logan, and her pants around her ankles. And she's wobbling, and then one of the guys picks her up and runs with her pants off and runs her away from this woman who is trying to attack. attacker. Yeah, I ran away. I heard one ounce of commotion and I thought I'm absolutely not taking off of any of this. Yeah, no. I'm going home because I can see where my house is. Yeah, why not? So I might as well just hop over there. Um, anyways, someone had taken, one of her

friends took a photo of her on the side of the row like peeing one time outside of a bar. Okay. This is a story that is either going to be very relatable for some and if nothing else, it's transparent and I'll call and confirm if we should cut this or not. Got it. But one of her girlfriends took a photo and there was a car pulling out right behind her with those lights that look like Miley Cyrus's eyes

like like blue eyes like get her some brown contacts please I'm literally shaking. That kind of vibe and it illumified her pee string in the photo. Sounds really pretty.

Our friend Hunter got shirts made for Maui. No. With the most famous waterfall in Maui. But instead of the waterfall, you see the top of her leg at the top of the image. And then it's a gorgeous landscape, but it's her pee stream going down. And it's this Logan's 30th birthday. That's beautiful. It was honestly like the funniest thing ever.

I'll bring you guys a shirt if you want. I would love a pea shirt. It's so funny. And her theme of her birthday was Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever. And Hunter made the things, and he spelled the location of where we were wrong on accident. So it's just like, that city doesn't exist. Like, Key Hell Maui. Emily doesn't exist.

But all together, that was really fun. Happy birthday, Loges. We love you. We love you. Happy birthday. You guys have been in Australia for so long. We're still there. Yeah.

We've been in Australia for so long. You guys just got back from Australia? Yeah. You were there for so long. You made it seem like we're currently there right now. Oh, sorry. Past tense. Yes, you guys were.

You guys were in Australia for so long. Yes, we were. Walk us through that. Okay. I've never been to Australia, so I actually... It was cool. Yeah. Pretty solid.

Cody had a race. Yeah. So there was a lot of... Like, we just did a lot of race stuff. And then we explored what is the beautiful Sydney, Australia. Sydney's cool, right? Yeah. I think you would really like it there.

I think so too. I feel like you should go. Like I feel like you, it's a place for you. It's a really interesting thing about like the TMG fan base. There's a ton of Australians. And I was looking at, you guys posted some photo of, I think you guys went to a wedding, right? Yeah, in London, yeah.

Oh, in London. Yeah. Okay. That was Australia. Oh, come on. So we went to Australia. It's hard to keep up, you guys. You're jet-setters.

I know, I know. Sheesh. We were in Australia, went home for a couple weeks, went to London. Okay. Just got back from London. going to say, so wherever you were, I guess must have been a very, very small town because the comments were like, why the hell are you guys here? Yes. In London. In London. Okay. That makes more sense. Does it like, do you want to, so should I keep going on Australia? No, please. I want to hear about, I want to hear about

I've been to London. I've been to London. I love London. I like London when the weather's nice. Yeah, it was nice. It was kind of hot. Yeah. I like it because I like sitting in parks. Okay. You would love Australia. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you, when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide

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I think I would. Yeah, you should go. I love Canada a lot. love Canada. I feel like it could be kind of the same except entirely different. Yeah, it's just a little bit further. Yeah. How far is it?

Because Bali's exactly across the other side of the world. And I've been to Bali. Okay. And Australia's just a hop, skip, and a jump. The flight was like 15 hours? Yeah, it was a long one. It was long, and it was just weird to be like, well, if you've been to Bali, you know. It's weird to be, like, on a different day than everyone.

Yeah. You just feel like really disconnect. from everyone. And you do have to just lean into that. Like you send emails when you can send emails and you just know that you're not going to get a response until midnight. It's going to be a day by day. That part I'm honestly fine with.

Because I'm bad at answering emails to begin with. So it's kind of like I have an excuse when I'm in a different part of the world. But when I'm home, I'm like just lazy. Yeah. But when I'm in Australia, it's like, sorry, I'm responding to this so late. I'm in Australia. And everyone's like, oh my God, do not worry about it. Yeah.

So work-wise, it's kind of nice. I'm really bad at that. That whole like, anytime I travel, I'm like, I'm on. You can hit me. I will respond. Oh. Text me. I've always done that.

I've never been on a trip and been like, do not hit me up. I've never said do not hit me up. I've just more like just answered when I answered. And I'm like, sorry, I'm traveling. Yeah. You need to put less pressure on yourself, Con. I think it's because working at startups, like, really early on gave me like a bit of trauma where I'm like, my phone needs to be.

because they would text me, you know, when I was at my other jobs, like they would text me four in the morning and be like, we need this actually right now. So my phone was always, that's why I can't sleep with my phone on not, do not just share because the vibration of my phone will wake me out from sleep, like one text. Yeah. I think that now you're your own boss.

Yeah. And so you need to, you can give yourself any rules you want. So you need to be a little bit more gentle with yourself. Maybe I'll start smoking cigarettes. No, I don't mean like that. But... Yeah, I know what you mean. Maybe every once in a while you could smoke a cigarette.

Yeah, that's true. It's like a fun little treat. Thanks, Kelsey. You're welcome. Maybe when I come see Cody in Vegas, I'll smoke a cigarette inside. That'd be crazy. Lean into the emphysema bit. Yeah, that's the beauty of casinos.

Yeah, it really is. Mm-hmm. They never stop. Never. It's so funny, you're just like a... You're kind of a different font of Brooke. Because... Because, like, the nurturing thing where it's like you need to be...

me more gentle on yourself. Maybe you smoke just one cigarette every once in a while. I don't even smoke cigarettes, but I might now because I feel so encouraged. I feel like that's why I'm going to sit in, you know? Yeah. It's so easy. I hope so. Oh, I wanted to ask you, yes. When's the last time you traveled with like a group of people? Um, well, I was just with like, I was with like six people in London. Yeah, okay. But we didn't travel to London together and home together. We met in London. When's that time you've been on like a trip with a group of people where you're like on a plane? On a plane? Or like meet somewhere, but like the trip is being planned within a group of people. I would say this past trip to London or we're in Tahoe next next in a couple

weeks. Why? Is it frustrating to you? No, I just think there's a lot of like interesting nuances of it that that people don't really talk about it. It's like every time I forget about these things. Yeah. And like there should be a rulebook or like a guideline list to follow. Like this last trip that I just went on. Yeah. We, there was about half of us that wanted to go do hikes and waterfalls and push ourselves and go surf and dive and everything. And the other half wanted to sit.

Move from the pool to the beach and then back to the pool bar. Yeah. And then back to the beach bar. Right. And relax. Yeah. I'm not like a relaxer. I sit down for 10 minutes and I'm like, oh, I flew here.

I really want to like go do something. Okay. Interesting. So I think like communication, right? Yeah. So but does it like, do you feel like everybody should be doing the same thing? No. My biggest thing, because my mom is like this, is like everyone can do their own thing.

I'm going to go do this. Don't get mad at me because I'm splitting off from the group because I want to go do this. Right. You're welcome to come. Yeah. Was there like, were people getting mad because there was like some separation happening? No. But like I felt guilty.

But like everyone was like, don't feel guilty. to go do the... You gotta do what you gotta do. Go do the... Yeah, go do the mountain hike. I feel like when it comes... When it comes to like a group planning situation, I won't make a peep.

Really? I just will, like, sit back. I'll do whatever. It's important to have someone that will, though. And if I don't want to do something, I just won't do it. Yeah. I'm a sitter. Like, I'll go somewhere and go from the pool to the beach,

back to the pool. See, I wish I could have let myself do that. because of the situation that we're in this time where I'm like, okay, I wouldn't have... I like to have a shitty hotel room so that makes me not want to stay there all day. You know? Yeah.

Or like a house that is like cool, but like I want to go, I want to leave during the day and like go do stuff. Yeah. But here's my biggest takeaway from this specific trip. Okay. If you're saying in a house with six plus people, you need to designate one bathroom for pooping.

Oh, yeah. I mean... Every bathroom shouldn't be a pooping bathroom. Okay. On a trip. But what if, like, what if two people have to poop at the same time? You wait? No. Your cycles need to unsink.

You can't have sink-poop cycles. No sinking. Really? Are you, okay, I do have a question about this. Are you a, do you have like a set time you poop every day? Sorry that I want to just preface before I talk about this. Every episode we do somehow end up talking about pooping. Okay.

So, sorry. This is, we never claim to be an anti-poop podcast. I think normalized talking about poop. Okay, well, I have never had any problem pooping, traveling, whatever. I poop like five times a day. I feel like that is a problem. No, they're great poops.

Five times a day. They're great poops. I take a really great seed probiotic. Not an ad. Spontor. Not an ad. Okay. Not an ad yet.

I love seed You take a DSO1 daily probiotic Oh okay You're sponsored I am sponsored but I do love them Okay first four days I will tell you Do not leave your house Make sure you have

I will say do not you will I was absolutely pillaged Well the thing is if you're already shitting Five times a day then you take seed I'm sure it's gonna really just rowing things up even more in there I don't think you should be pooping five times day I'm gonna be honest with you I don't think you should say that you're a healthy

pooper if you're pooping five times a day? It's interesting you saying that because you don't know my poops. You don't know what kind of poop I'm having. I also don't... Are they full poops? Sometimes.

Five full poops a day. It's normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three oh three times a week to three times a day. No, no. No fivers. And five every day. Maybe not five every day. Maybe I exaggerate a little bit, but I want to remind everybody I have an apple and a cigarette for breakfast.

Because I said it's okay. Because it's just one as a treat. No, I don't know. I eat really a lot of fiber. I'm sorry I poop shamed you. I just want to say. But like I know people that are like, I wake up. I poop. Me. Okay. But and and then when when does two, three, four, five come in? Like I'll have a big glass of water when I wake up. Okay. Head to the bathroom to check things out. Make sure everything's okay in there.

And then I have breakfast, a small breakfast, usually like an apple or a juice or something. Yeah. I head back in. Okay. I clock in one more time, then I clock out. Yeah. Around lunchtime or so. I have a coffee around one.

So it's after every single time you eat. Yeah. That's awesome. I'm running. My body is running at 100% efficiency. There's no weight time. Okay. Yeah.

I'm going to go with that I support you on this. What kind of questions do you have for me about my bowels? What questions do you have for me things stresses me out so very much. That's okay. Okay. I've been a victim to it. By the squad. By who?

The squad. Oh, yeah. That says it. I didn't even mean to. It just happened. Yeah, because something's like... You just caught on. Yeah.

Yeah. That's why I hate when I like listen to other people's stand-up stuff and I start adopting stuff or shows like always sunny or Kirby enthusiasm when I start talking. I'm like, that is not yours. Leave that over there. Yeah. But the thing is I actually do think it's really funny. Like when it was happening to me, when I was being asked, what kind of questions do I have? I couldn't stop laughing because I thought it was really funny. But it's one of those things where I can like banter. And I was so lost on how to hand. handle this interaction that it kind of left me at a lot like a loss for words which normally doesn't happen and so I felt weird yeah it was hilarious it's a lot of pressure to keep up with banters well when when someone else is on a roll because it felt like an inside joe yeah and I was like kind of like you know on the outside yeah and I was nervous but it's it was really funny I just I want to make that clear yeah to the squad was past ends Well, in the moment when it was happening to me.

Yeah. There's a time and a place for what kind of questions do you have for me. Yeah. I love when it's totally quiet. And then I want to, can we circle back really quick to this past weekend? Yes. Okay, so I was in charge of the, I was the planner basically, like for a lot of stuff. You were the planner?

Yes. Oh my God. Who the fuck were you with? I know. I know. Can you believe that? That's insane of that. Because everyone was very much into the relaxing vibe. And I'm like, if we have no activities plan, then we will not do anything.

Like, we're kind of getting out of that. in Hawaii. I know, but we're kind of getting out of that we're with a group of people, we're just there to drink type thing. Like, we're kind of getting out of that phase where it's like people brought books, you know, like people are, like, I would, we were, we went on runs, which like, you either die a hero or live long enough to exercise where you're on vacation. Like, and that's who we became.

And I was like, this is so weird, but it also made the days feel so long. Yeah. So I was like, we need activity. So I planned the first night. We did a luau. That's sweet. So everyone brought luau stuff. second night we did disco theme

that was actually Logan's birthday and we all dressed in disco stuff and then that night I made the reservation and everything was booked up I was like I'm just going to call a Mexican place in town and see if they can get us in and I found one place they weren't taking reservations I'm like that must mean a good thing

they had no photos online reviews were great we pull up in a Uber and I go oh actually Hunter goes oh it's in a strip it's in a strip mall it was in a strip mall Was it Schwartz and Sandys?

It was... No, it was... Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I've been... It's in a strip mall. It's actually behind the strip mall, too. Like, it's hidden behind... I don't think strip mall necessarily means bad, though.

It's, uh, that, shorts and Sprite examples, they're next to a pet store. Schwartz and Sandys is bad, I'm sure, but... The inside's really cool, but... Don't say that. Oh, Team Ariana. Nice. We stand with you. But, um, but...

Uh, she'll know what it means. Uh, we spent one special. No, you, you talked for like, yeah,

I know. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, so we pull in and it was absolutely, uh, I don't know what even to compare it to here. It was,

it was like a, it was just like not a good birthday night restaurant. And it was a very, very local town in Hawaii. They don't like love tourists. Yeah. We were dressed in disco theme. And we were their last seating.

And they were like, clearly closing, but I was like, it was just like a horrible situation. Logan pissed. No, we couldn't stop laughing. It was like the funniest thing ever. I don't know why I felt I needed to tell that story. Thank you for sharing. I'm happy that you told us. Yeah. Do you feel better? I feel a little bit better to get that off my chest. Yeah. I'm happy for you to be the planner. That's a big move. It was a big, I have an announcement to make. Brooke got six tickets for the 1975. What did you say? I got six shitty tickets to the 1975. Oh my God. We're going. We're going. Going squad.

Squad takes the 1975. Squadron. Wow, I'm excited. Oh my God. I've always wanted to see the 1975. I have seen them,

weirdly, at a festival. What's your favorite song? One, two, three. Somebody else. Okay. Yeah. No, that's actually one of the best songs ever,

like probably one of my all-time favorite songs. Have you heard the song sex? Have I heard the song sex? Holy shit. Have you heard the song Robbers ever heard of it? I've heard the song Robbers. This is all from Tumblr era though.

I listen to this in like seventh grade when... Sorry, I wasn't that cool in seventh grade. No, no, no. That was just like what... And then when people, when they started getting famous this year, I was like, is this like a... Did they get like a second... Is it like a small, like younger people that are doing like a cover band? Because I always remembered 1975 as like oldies. I thought it was like an OG band and it was like coming back on.

Tumblr because it was like retro. Oh. And so when they can't, because I'd never seen their faces or anything. Yeah. That's why. Why would you have? Uh-uh. I didn't look into it.

Uh-uh. I have a question for you. Yes. Last week, we actually had a clip online. We were talking. Brooke brought up the point, do married people get the ick? Do you get the ick with code? No, we actually talked about this on Insanely Chill once.

Did you? Oh, I was listening. I listened to that one. I really don't. I don't think that it's possible to get the ick when you've spent so long with someone. Like, at least not to the point where it's like you wouldn't like. I'm congested, Kelsey. Like, don't, no, no, no, what were you saying?

But what, what, what did that help? Were you going to sneeze? I couldn't hear out of this ear, so I popped that ear. Okay, I just got the ick. I feel like, I feel like I'm at the zoo. What was that? Sorry, I was talking to you. It made a little noise.

You heard that? Yes. We all heard it. Wait, you could hear that? Do you think the mic caught that noise? Yeah. Oh my God,

I've done that so many times. And then you did, you made a whistle nose out of your nose. No, no, no. It was my ear that made the whistle noise. I got to get on Zoc Doc, like today.

Because I didn't know other people could hear that. Bad. I did that 10 times on the plane yesterday. It just kind of sounds like a little mouse. So there's... Anyway, so no, I don't really get the egg. If I saw Stuart Little

Stomp You'd stomp him? You'd have to scrape Stuart Liddle off the bottom I'd off the bottom of my shoe No I feel like you would take such good care of him I wouldn't want a mouse talking to me Really?

Like he's a... Oh, look at that face! I know. He looks like chilly. I love when girls post their boyfriend on his birthday and he was like, happy birthday to this one and it's literally Stuart Little. To this one?

To this one. To my rock and it's literally Stuart Little in the sweater. So cute. Come on. Wait, does he have a British accent? No, he's American. Really? Yeah. Okay, that was the coolest thing ever when he was on like an actual like toy boat and he

was racing the other toy boats. He is the sweetest little guy. Because there were no other, there were no others like him. He's so sweet. Why am I feeling so emotional about Stuart Little? I don't. Because I think, I think that. He was kind of fighting an uphill battle for his whole existence, and I'm saying I'm going to stomp on him. Yeah, I mean, it's terrible.

I, on a boat. I rebuke my earlier statement. Thank you. I would not stomp on him after reviewing a couple of picks. Absolutely not. Of him on his little ship. I know. He's so sweet.

Anyway, don't get the ick. Jaws. Sorry. No. Stop. Why were there no other talking mice? Why did he have to, how come his parents went to the orphan, finished and adopted a mouse.

No one's talking about that. Was it that that? I thought he just showed up at their house. Didn't he get adopted? Well, while we're on the subject, Paddington, ever seen that? Hang on. It's kind of crazy. Like, it's a bear.

Do you know what I mean? What happened with Paddington again? Can you refresh? So Paddington, I just watched this recently. Oh, okay. He, so he grew up. like a rainforest and a like a zoologist type vibe

those are his grandparents actually I believe there was aunt and uncle I don't know some relation yeah they're related to Paddington and so like this guy a scientist came and he basically taught his aunt and uncle or grandparents or whoever that is how to speak wow and so then they had Paddington and Paddington learned how to talk

in American in English sorry in English no that's okay and then the thing, the, um, the rainforest had an earthquake. Sorry, I couldn't remember what happened. Rainforest had an earthquake and Paddington had to get the fuck out of there. And his grandma, well, the guy died, the Papa Bear. No. Sorry. Spoiler. Papa Bear.

A bunch of people were gone. What the hell? I was going to watch Paddington tonight. And the grandma and whoever sends him off. And this family takes him in. And for some reason, this family isn't like. This is kind of weird. It's a talking bear besides the dad. The dad's the only one that's like, what the fuck?

Everyone else is like, everyone else is like, we have to help this bear. Like, we have to help this talking bear. And so they just like bring him in. Poor guy doesn't know how to fucking brush his teeth. They're trying to teach him. He loves the way it feels in the ear. I bet it feels awesome.

No, it feels, you know what? It feels like a COVID test. Oh, then he drinks that, does that, puts that on, goes around. For our audio, for our audio listeners, Paddington is making. making a mess. And everybody's like, and he's like, get this fucking bear out of my house. And everybody else is like, he doesn't have a home.

And so like they almost send him away. But then someone tried, Nicole Kidman tries to kill him. Oh. Bitch. Sorry. So they have to save him from Nicole Kidman who's trying to skin him. A lot. I actually don't know.

That might be a mashup of 101 Dalmatians at the end there. But she is trying to find him and kill him, I think. No, not Nicole. Yep, Nikki tries to kill Paddington. Trouble was looking for him. What? Nicole Kenman. Yeah, bitch. She's a taxidermis.

Okay, here's the thing. There's other bears you can taxidermis. You don't have to do the talking one. But I think the point was that he was the talking one. She wanted to taxiderminize the talking one? Taxiderminize. Yes, she wanted to taxiderminize the talking one, obviously. But then that kind of eliminates the thing that would make him cool.

I think that's the point. She wanted to eliminate him. Yeah. Anyway, I'm amazing movie, but it's about another animal that's hot. We can't act like if we saw an animal talking to us. We wouldn't be like... It would be like, what the fuck? But everybody's like, it's a bear, we have to help it.

Well, I like to think, I've said this so many times on this podcast. I guess is actually like, probably, like, alarming. But I feel like at some point an animal's going to talk to me. Okay. And I feel like we don't talk enough. Like, we're always like, monkeys are so smart. Parrots speak full English. Pigs are really smart.

You know I had a pig. Really? Mm-hmm. I snuck a pig that I found on Craigslist into my parents' home in high school, and I had it for six weeks secretly. Potty trained in the first day, and then my mom finally went into my room and found a pig in it. Go figure. And then was like, we can't have this here.

And then I was like, no, but get to know Iggy a little bit. And she did, and they fell in love. And then someone, one of our asshole neighbors called the POA on us and was like, They have livestock, which technically a pig is livestock. But it was so much smarter than... Oh my God. So much smarter than our dog. Did it not make a noise in your room for six weeks?

It did. It may have been shorter than six weeks. I think about it. That's a long time. That's like a month and half. Yeah. Skipping class. Skipping class and smoking cigarettes in his room.

I forget how we got here. What happened to Iggy? Oh, it's funny. Okay, so this was like, again, around. the time of when cigarettes it was around the time of when teacup pigs were like a thing and you would see images all the time of like teacup pigs and I was like I want a teacup pig right and so I found a teacup pig online teacup pigs don't exist they don't exist they're malnourished um pot belly pigs yeah you just feed them less and they don't grow it's a form of malnourishment I didn't

terrible yeah so when I finally found that out my parents were like oh we need to we need to give this to a, we lived in Texas, so it was like, we need to give this to a farm that can raise this pig. Yeah. So I give it to a farm. It was soccer season, so I didn't have time to go see it for a bit. And then when I finally go see it, they go, there's Iggy. Iggy was not a man. Iggy was a woman the entire time.

Oh, yeah. Allegedly. Oh. Because when I saw her, she was the size of a Volkswagen Jetta on her side with 800 nipples, and she was breastfeeding about a thousand puppies. by puppies I mean baby pigs piglets as they say some say

oh my god that's a sight to see it was the most jarring I was like that's not the pig that's not my pig they go that's your pig that's your pig that's your baby girl right there this would be the last time I visit she seems like she's doing just fine

can you still see it like it's yeah it was like birth in there it was like the most monstrous beast I've ever seen. Really? And I was like, you deceived me while I was malnourishing you. Yeah. By the way, I rebuke the malnourishment of an animal. I was unaware. He didn't know. That is what it looked like. That is what my pig looked like. Yeah, but she wasn't getting any love

from you. That's for sure. Uh-uh. You couldn't go near that thing? No, I was scared of it. Yeah. It's pretty big. That's a big boy right there. Yeah. Big lady. Um Yeah, so Do you like, are you scared of pigs? No, not at all. I'm not really scared of any animal. Really?

Because I could probably talk to me at some point. Okay. Connor Doolittle. Yeah. Wait, I am scared if you want to know. Yeah, no, I do. I'm scared of possums. Really?

Oh yeah. I mean, they're terrifying. Have you ever looked one in the eyes? Have you looked one in the eyes when it's not hissing at you and showing its teeth? It doesn't matter. They're just scared.

I had a homeless guy that lived next to me when I first moved here and he had a pet possum and he swallowed it like a baby and he would always let me hold it. Hindsight is 50-50 shouldn't have held the homeless man's possum. I was like really on board. For a second I was like that's really sweet like he held the possum like a baby thinking about you approaching and being like can I hold the little guy? I have a photo. I hate that. I have a photo of that. Oh my god. That's crazy of you. That poor possum actually. like justice for possums, I guess. Because now I'm like, cute, are you kidding me? Now, the one thing about possums is their hands. And those are scary. Thank you. They're nails and their tails.

And they also play dead really well. And when they die, they pee. So it looks like they're actually like punctured. So that's alarming. But once they feel safe around you, like the one that I was swaddling dead, it's a really special thing. It's a bond. Just get a dog.

It's a Burnett and a blonde with an inseparable bond. I just think that possums are very frightening. And you want to know what else I'm scared of? Tell me. Monkeys. And like any sort of primate. From like monkeys to gorillas, like anything in that realm. That makes sense.

So you would never do that Rwanda trip where you hike up and there's the silverback gorillas and you walk through? Are we just, am I, like, amongst them? You walk through. No. And you have a guide. No. And sometimes they grab your ankles and drag you into the woods.

And you're just supposed to let them because they are the royalty in that, in that situation. This is, to me, this is, it seems like a billionaire activity. Like, I'm so bored. I'm a billionaire. What should we do this afternoon? Let's go to, let's go to, let's go to Rwanda. Listen, it's, do you know how to say it? Oh, I can't.

Both times were a little hippie. Rwanda. Okay. So you actually just say it, how it. spelled. Rwanda. Yeah. Rwanda. Yeah. Have you ever seen Hotel Rwanda?

Cucumba. Great, great movie. Cucumba. Have you guys seen that? What the fuck is happening? What is that? Can we look up Cucumber song really quick?

And then this is, this, we can, it's not copyrighted. We can listen to it on main. I want to, can we end with this and then I want to, we can, oh wait, are you going to save for bonus? Yeah. Oh, awesome. You're here all day.

Guys, we got Kelsey Co for bonus. You're here for like a full blown eight hour shift. I know, I need to clock in at some point. I haven't done that yet. You should. Yes, it is Maccabee. Hello, it's Maccabee. And this is the Cucumba remix.

Cucumba. Let's hear it from the professionals. Yeah, let's leave it to them. Yeah. Oh, no, not the remix. No, leave it. No, no, you have to hear the original. I just think it's because I'm like a DJ wife.

I love a good remix. Oh. You're killing it, babe. It's on the right. The original, the original cuckoomba. I like when it was like, well, what, welcome. Well, you need to hear how it was conceived. Let's try this one.

Welcome to Maccabee's Medical Monday. Today it's all about this, the cucumber. Yeah. Or as they call it in Jamaica, cuckoomba. Cucumba. Vitamins, minerals, very high number. Silica. Here and nails get longer.

Other vitamins make your bones them strong. Anti-wrinkle make you look younger 95% water Kidney cleanser, great hydrator Detox fiber, good regulator Don't be a traitor Get the cuckumba Put it in a size

Put it in a jug of water Overnight You know what you get for a fraction of the price Energy drink full of electrolyte Roaring salad is one of the use As a base for your vegetable juice Another surprise for the slice on your eyes Take away the dryness, revitalize

Revitalize One thing I have left have left. Cucumbia can also help with bad breath. Wash where the bacteria that cause the odor. Cucumbia water instead of soda. Maca be a medical Monday. Maca be a medical Monday.

Wow, I actually learned so much. Cumba. And actually put it in a jug of water overnight. Revitalize. Totally. Couldn't agree with you more on that. That's crazy. It's in the bad breath thing is fascinating.

And that's why so many of those like infused waters have cucumber and they like actually help your breath. Oh my God. I made that up, sorry. Well, no, I mean, I think you're right. That's kind of what he was going for there. Thank you, Mockaby. Thanks, Mockaby.

Well, I think we roll into Bones, bonus. What is it called? Close Friends. Sorry. What's the show that I've been doing for two years called? Roll into bones. We're going to roll our bones over to the Close Friends episode with Kelsey Coe. She's going to stay, which is awesome.

That felt sarcastic. No, it is awesome. because this morning I will last, when Ryan called me yesterday, I thought I was doing this by myself and I actually was like biting my nails up. I've never done it. Yeah. I was okay, I'm just going to have to figure out how to talk. Maybe I'll take a bunch of shrooms and like it will just talk and talk and talk.

I wouldn't have left you hanging. But, um, here I am. She's here for another, another hour with us. So come over to close friends if you're not signed up yet. Yes, sign up right now. TMG studios. dot TV forward slash book

forward slash B&CNIP B&CNB B&CB B&CB B&CB B&CB B&CNB

B&CN B&CN love you CLECON love you bye this week I'm close friends

it's crazy to hear from the Oscar Meyer team that their weaners are not beef your unkeard weaners are

for sure hooves Kelsey is that an uncured weaner in your pocket It's an uncured weaner isn't it? It's an uncured weaner

Imagine us driving on PCH that's sense Kelsey, did you bring that lighter? I want to... Whoa! Shit, Kelsey, are you okay?

Did you see Paul McCartney? I never saw him. I didn't meet him, though, once. What did he smell like? I think he would smell like dust. No, he doesn't smell like dust. How old do you think these guys are? Ooh, I want to wrap myself in Paul McCartney's skin.

Not in a weird way, in a soft, fleshy way. Sign up on TMG Studios.tv to watch the full bonus episode.