Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Checking In With Lou Sassel Before The Holidays

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor are rounding out the year talking about phloem bundles, participating in secret Garrett, and of course Heated Rivalry. Plus, they talk about the new iconic film directed by Lou Sassel and send MGG a little DM. Happy Holidays, we'll see you in the new year!  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code BNC for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95. Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/BNC. Promo Code BNC Ready to quit for good? Go to https://quitwithjones.com/BNC to start your personalized quitting journey and get $10 off with code BNC. Shop the SKIMS Holiday Shop at https://www.skims.com/bnc #skimspartner B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Mug Soup 02:25 Banana Hairs  06:53 Heated Rivalry Tier 1 Status 10:30 Becoming Obsessed 14:33 Secret Snow Person 18:16 Hello Fresh 19:57 Willies 21:28 School Memories 26:20 AI Slop 29:24 Calling vs Texting 31:20 Voicemails 35:11 Girl Holes 37:32 Aura Frames 38:40 Quit with Jones 40:23 Skims 41:28 Beautiful Names 43:15 Fancy Dinners 46:26 Loving LA 52:09 New Year Resolutions 56:19 Setting Boundaries 58:00 Being in the Moment 1:00:58 Narcissist Quiz 1:03:21 Life Changing Bangs 1:07:59 See You in Bonus! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen.

Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist

and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. This is going to be a doozy. You're sick? Yeah.

Actually? I'm always sick. Yeah. I've been sick for like a week and a half now. Let's like start the episode with us like falling apart. Oh. Or do you want to? I think that's fine.

Like I feel like everyone's kind of in the same boat. I sound really, I will sound really bad in this episode and I'm very sorry. Well, you just sound like you're about to cry. I'm sorry. I'm really stuffy, but thankfully Evan and Ryan teamed together to make me this soup. That's awesome. So I might be sipping on my mug soup. Mug soup

Mug soup You heard the girl I had mug soup this week too I was just to go I prefer mug soup I got to tell you about my powdered miso soup From TikTok shop Hold up

I had miso soup in a I had a miso soup in a coffee cup like this That's fine too When I ordered it to go And I was like this is how soup This is the best method of consuming soup on the go I love it in a mug And a home mug as well

I was looking around I was like, nobody knows I'm sipping on some miso. The only problem is like getting the accoutrements. I want the tofu. Yeah, but, oh, the tofu, that's tough. It's hard. And then at the end, it's just a huge glob of seatweed. And it's like, I don't want to eat the whole glob.

It will come through the hole if you suck. If you suck hard enough. Yeah. Well, I do it in just like a mug at home. Yeah. It's like more of like a, it's like I would have to like open my mouth like and pour. Like knock it back. Yeah. Knock them back.

Ooh, yeah. Yeah. So me and mine powdered miso. Yeah, I haven't ordered any food from TikTok shop yet. Ooh, maybe soon. Maybe soon. They don't do all my grocery shopping on TikTok shop. Yeah. Oh my God. I mean that is my home. I might get like six, seven bananas. Mm-mm. Not on this pod. Speaking of the devil, I got these bananas from Target. And there's something about Target produce that it's like, is this a prop? I had that banana and it made my tongue taste bad.

You know? Bananas always make my tongue taste bad. No, but sometimes you know how all the strings that come off bananas? It's like... Oh, banana strings? Banana strings. And then like the nub at the beginning and the end. Yeah, sometimes it's like hard in an edible way.

Yeah, it's just like we've done so much as a people. We can't remove the banana nub and the strings. I guess the strings? The strings? I feel like the strings are generally on a more unripe banana. I think all bananas. Or all, too. I've had a very delicious banana that I have to untie, you know, from its strings.

Take its little. What do you think the evolutionary purpose of the banana strings are? Are they kind of like nose hairs, like protecting the banana? But it's from the inside of the peel. Yeah, that's so true. I guess our last Google of 2025, why do bananas have hair? hairs. Yeah. I want to say hairs. They're, they're foul, right? You know, like, it's like when you're eating lobster and then you get to the poop sack and it's like, oh, I can't. You think the

banana strings are the poop sack of the banana? Those strings and bananas are called Oh, it's the floam bundles. The flome bundles, which acts as the plants plumbing. You were right. They're the poop sack. It is the shrimp strings. Whoa, it's completely transporting water nutrients and sugars from the leaves to the fruit as it grows, making them edible nutritious. We would not have bananas without the flown bundles. So I guess we'll take this time to say thank you, Flom Bundles for all that you've done.

Merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah to Flom Bundles only. Good. Lord help me, I'm really serious. If you're not Flom Bundles, keep scrolling. Hey, what you're doing? Yeah, no, today's going to suck in a huge way. No, it's not.

It's already been so amazing. Yeah, well, we've been in the studio for about two hours. Yeah, it took us about 48 minutes to get through the ads. Yeah. I had started choking. She choked in a literal sense I was doing the Heimleck on her. Yeah, so. We were whipping her in the shape.

Watch those ads. Yeah, watch those ads. I'm assuming the one where I was performing the Heinleck wrong on Brooks from behind. We'll probably not make the cut. You don't think. I don't know. Well, you were still reading the ad, so it might have to make the cut. You can't, like, the show must go on, you know?

We have to. Go ahead. I was about to start singing, so I stopped myself. Yeah, wait. So it is going to be, so this is, I know, like, everyone's like, no way, that's crazy because you guys seem like so up in Adam today. This is our last episode before, before, like, the holiday break, Christmas and New Year's and Hanukkah and all that's jazz.

So this is our legacy episode. This is what was- Happy Onica. Also flagging that I said that you light the menorah from right to left last week, and I do know it's left to right. Thank you. Like reading. Actually genuinely might not know. What did I say?

Left to right? It's right to left. I don't know. It's right to left. Izzy, what is it, though? Like, if it wasn't right to left, what would it be, for example? It's, what I had said earlier? Reading.

You light the menorah from left to right, but you place the candles from right to left as you add them each night. Okay, that's why I'm confused. You light it from here and then you put it on the end? So, like, depending on what day it is, you would put the candles in, like, from right to left, and then if it's the fourth day, you start lighting on the fourth. Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah.

What day are we on? Sunday night was the first night. Yeah, I knew that. Then it was Monday night. So, day three. And now tonight will be the third night. And by the time this comes out, it'll be day five. All the things she said, all the things she said running through my head.

That song, I'm glad you asked, was from the last episode of Feated Rivalry, the final scene. This show, Connor. I think this is what people. I have thoughts. Did you? How far did you get? I'm in the first episode still. What's happening? Well, I'd like to say, and like this is going to be, I mean, it's porn.

So it's crazy that I've, I've, I've, a lot of characters. I've seen actual porn with more, more of a storyline that, like that lead up than. It's not about the storyline. It's about the character's growth and emotions. Like, I, I'm, they were growing immensely almost right. when the show started. Is that not amazing? They were growing in a huge,

they were girth master. It is about their journeys. Yeah. This show, I imagine. The whole show though, right? And the book, thank you. You finished a book in the show so quick? Well, the show's not,

the show is only on episode four. There will be seven episodes. This is what I guess you guys felt when you're watching the summer, I turn pretty. But I've, imagine I feel that. Double it.

Add nitrous. Explode the coat. I want to say it really quickly. I don't know if anybody recalls an older episode where I was trying to find something that we could, a shared interest that we could have together, like a niche interest that maybe like happens a lot. You know, like a sport. And we don't care about baseball, you know, like football, whatever. I was like, what if we got into hockey?

And you were like, I am not interested in hockey. You weren't interested in hockey because it wasn't gay yet. It wasn't gay yet. I want to go to a hockey game. Hand on my chest to God. He did rivalry did for hockey what Taylor Swift did for the NFL

I I haven't felt this way since Curt and Blaine What's that? And I felt a lot Kurt and Blaine were the original glee couple that like sent me into my fan fiction era You said Kurt Cobain. No Kurt and Blaine And I just like can't believe

it took me so long like if that was my blueprint like why did it take me this long? I'm just like a normal it myself but like this I mean these boys Ilya and Shane they mean everything to me and more I'm so serious they they are my family and I'm like developing like a pretty tier one crush on Hudson Williams who plays Shane like the actual person the actual person not the character both both both them yeah that's all that is always

the most dangerous type of crush when you're in love with the character and the actor I love him he looks like somebody he looks like somebody he looks like somebody yeah i actually feel like he doesn't like i feel like he's totally a new look new look new look and he literally like if you read the book like it's like the author like wrote him into existence like Shane it's described exactly the way he looks it's insane hi my boys good for them this is so hi my lovies i love them so much they are really like and i love the way they are in interviews We do not see men interacting like this. Like they're best friends.

They are best friends. And they're not afraid to show it physically. It's the most amazing thing. I love them so much. There's so many shows that are getting renewed like before. I think I love L.A. got renewed. Really? On episode before, even in episode four was out.

They have to renew this, right? It's renewed. Oh, it's renewed. Oh, God, yes, Connor. I didn't see that. There is a scene coming up. And this is like not like a plot spoiler. It is something that happens in the book.

So I guess it's a spoiler, but it's not like giving away anything. But plug your ears if you don't want to hear this for the next 30 seconds. There's a scene in the book where Shane gets hurt and he crumples down to the ice. Probably goes unconscious for a second. Paramedics come out. Ilya pushing through the paramedics to get to Shane. Thank you. I can't wait to see that.

I'm going to freak out. I'm going to freak out. That's like my like one bed at the motel is going down on the ice, pushing through the paramedics to get to your man. You mean one bed at the motel? Like that's my favorite thing in like a book when it's like the two characters check into a hotel and it's like, sorry, there's only one bed. I guess you'll have to figure it out.

I see. And this is my new favorite thing is like one man down on the ice, the other man fighting to the paramedics. I'm looking forward to seeing that play out on my TV. hopefully in episode six maybe so there's only four episodes out right now and you feel this way about this very deeply but I finished the book now

so I know what's gonna happen okay I'm really happy for you thank you I haven't been obsessed with something in so long it feels so right I do do you feel like this is another perfect example of like how come I didn't this is like a show that just like everyone's on on episode four of and I didn't know it was happening I guess this one I could have caught up pretty easily because there's only four episodes

out. Yeah. You should watch. I will. I'm in a hotel that only has, it has Discovery channels. I'm learning a lot about World War II. Yeah.

And it has that Bravo show about all the people on the boat. Below deck. Below deck. Below deck. Below deck. Yeah. And then basically friends and that's it. Which is fine.

It is like hotel TV is meant to be hotel TV. I wouldn't want them to show. change it. I do a little bit because they they need to have Netflix and stuff on hotel TVs. I shouldn't be because they do. I don't know how to work the TV. Well, that's your problem.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. That came out harsher than I intended. It's okay. You got one scoop of your mug soup to calm down. I'm just saying they do have Netflix. So I can tell you more about heated rivalry than that's all I can do. Oh no. That's not good though.

It's not good. It's all the only thing in my brain is Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, I ordered a pillow. What kind of pillow? It's just shame. Is it life size? I got the 20 by 20.

12, 24. So it's less than two feet. Yeah, it's a little pillow that I will hold. I got it from TikTok shop. I got Tristan one and I got Megan one. You're like shopping on TikTok shop now. No, I'm shopping on TikTok. You keep sliding in the,

neither you're buying all of your goods. That's probably not good. Your goods and wares from TikTok shop. Yeah, it's probably, I'm not seeing my pillow up represented up there. Can you like, can you like actively go on to TikTok shop and be like, I need this and like search your stuff? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's the end of the world as we know it.

E, that's my pillow. I don't think I got shirtless Shane. I wanted that one, but it came out after I had already purchased mine. Is that AI? Yeah, it's got to be. But I didn't get that one. Oh, I like the size of that one. I got that.

He's in the jersey. Yeah. I got that pillow. Also, I asked for the matching blanket for Hanukkah. From who? From my friends from home, we do a secret snow person. Secret snow person? Yeah, snow individual.

So I asked for the heated rivalry blanket. you asked for a gift for secret snow individual yeah i don't that's how it works it is you can put like this is what i want like on the website where you draw your names oh that's like kansas that's you got to i would want like the thing is nothing's going to make me happier than the heated rivalry flee blanket i think an aura frame would make me happier you can preload them um No, like I like that secret snow individual. I think you could do snow. I know, I get what you're saying with snow individual.

Well, you know, my very progressive school, it started a secret snowman. And then it just like gradually devolved over the years because we did a schoolwide one. Oh, it started a secret Santa, then devolved a secret snow man, then devolved a secret snow person. And then kind of everyone was just making fun of it and calling it like secret snow individual, secret snow entity. like that sounds scary and then so that's what we call it anyway it doesn't matter who gives a fuck um i don't really understand why santa was ever an issue in your progressive school because not everyone celebrates christmas he's not jesus it's not santa is not religious i know but like they're like obsessed with including everyone so like if you don't observe a holiday that includes santa

that would just make you anti-capitalist i think i just i think that i get not doing secret santa I think we're Secret Snowman. I'm like, that's fine, baby. Secret Snowman is good, but it's... It's a secret snow person. Yeah, snow person. Yeah. So it was three years of changes as the years went on.

Imagine that meeting. That would be hard. That would be an meeting that could have been an email. Hey, we're not... No, but the thing is, not where I went to school. They were probably there till midnight talking about it. What are we going to do about Secret Snow individual? Talking about secret snow individual?

Yeah. Like you guys at that point you just made up a new like Garrett, secret Garrett. Like just name it something. Why did you get Garrett? I don't know. I was looking at that stuff. It is time for the annual Garrett.

Okay. I am. You were looking at stuff. What were you looking at the thing you say Garrett? That like stuffed monkey over there in the corner. That's Garrett to you? To me. That's Garrett.

Okay. Who did you get as your secret Garrett? Who did I get? I don't know. It was like random people, because our school was so small, it was just like anyone in the school. So I don't think I knew them each year.

I think I just got them like probably like a candle or some shit. Yeah. Okay. But now as an adult you say, I want this, just someone needs to buy me this. But. There's no magic in that.

You know Lindsay? Yeah. Lindsay was in love with one of our teachers. And so made it her mission to find whoever drew our teacher. through the school wide secret Santa managed to trade with them Secret Garrett managed to trade with them

and sent the teacher on like a week long scavenger hunt like it was pretty romantic that ended with her finding the gift that was extremely personalized and handmade Can't stress enough Lindsay never had a class with this teacher Just from just from sight alone Sight and aura Sure

Girl, winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope?

It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy? It's the real California farm families behind it. Real people. Real care. Real intention. Why? Because real matters. So whether you're pouring milk, melting cheese, or just grabbing one more spoonful of yogurt. Keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk by real California farm families.

There's something that you guys all had in the water At whatever school you went to That made you all very, very unique Totally Like your actual Your actual experiences day to day Yeah Like you've created your reality

Sure but they shaped it They shaped it I really am very lucky that yeah That I grew up there Because I'm scared to think what I would be like if I didn't Because they really embraced You know they let me carry around my trash cam for a few years.

There was one girl like you at my school. Really? Whatever happened to her? I don't know what happened to her. But there was like a group of boys that would pull their eyelashes out and put all their eyelashes on her desk like every day. And when you said she was like me like what was her thing? Who's different?

Yeah. In what way? Like she was not. She stepped out in the hallway if we were watching anything that was like. She was sensitive? No. She was like, I'm. She was like the only progressive person like at mine

And it was like elementary and I was like middle school or something But I remember she had to step out like all the time because it didn't align with her Something Her belief system? And yeah I wasn't stepping out Well it was like real yeah I guess I don't know what we were watching that she had to actually step out

I would say I wasn't stepping out I was having additional Help come in Wow I just started thinking about her because of the eyelashes thing. And I remember she got upset about all those. Yeah, I wouldn't like it if boys were picking out their eyelashes and throwing them in me either.

I don't have enough to pick out. So I didn't participate. Would you have if you had, be honest. I don't know. I was looking for community back then. You would have. I know you would have. Well, I was in the gifted and talented program.

I believe that. Which we figured out later on gifted and talented growing up means like you're neurodivergent, I think. I don't think in Texas. It wasn't smarter. No, no, it was like. Like, I had to take my tests in a different room because I was like, I couldn't focus. Yeah, you had ADHD. Yeah.

But they had us on like a very special little room. It was like 15 of us. It's cool. It was cool being a teacher when I was teaching in second grade and seeing the behind the scenes of all the like groupings, you know? And like the logic behind it, like of making the reading groups. Were they putting like Some heavy hitters in with like some bozos?

No Whoa they were putting all They really were like it was grouping by skill level Like moron group like smarty pants I wouldn't have called it that Right but yeah Oh my god Just so because it's like how else are you gonna like

Teach You know you can't teach to like 10 different kids at varying skill levels at the same time I would delegate I would delegate some of the teaching to the smart kids So that I didn't have to have to do that much. But I guess it makes sense that they're not there to teach.

Yeah, they're not. I certainly was not there to teach. I talked about that one time in class that haunts me to this day where I just had like, I was supposed to have my bears in the cave and I clapped. I know, we were supposed to be very quiet. I did that once too. It's really scary. I screamed.

It's a really. I thought someone said scream as loud as you can. I, I just remember being like, imagine if, It's so quiet. Like, imagine if you clapped. I clapped, like, grabbed my shoulder, and I went right to in-school suspension. Really?

Yep. I remember we were doing freeze dance, and I swear the teacher said, when you freeze, scream as loud as you can. So I froze and screamed at the top of my lungs, and no one else screamed. So I had heard that, like a phantom whisper.

Wow. And then everyone was like, what happened? Get her out of here. No, I didn't. get in trouble, of course. But I screamed as loud as I could. What are you, what else are you supposed to do in that situation?

One time, no. I want to hear it, please. No, because we're too gross. What could it be that we haven't already touched on? It is, it is poop forward. And I just, Poop forward? Yeah.

It's giving notes of poop. And I just don't want to. I think you, I think you can touch on it very quickly, and I can fill in the blanks. There's no story. I was just thinking about the time that I'm... No. No.

I'm putting my foot down. No. Oh, geez. Okay. There's no reason for it. Okay. You brought it up. I know.

And I'm putting my foot down. All the things she said, all the things she said running through my head. I need to regroup. I don't have any... What will we do? I don't know. I have a bunch of stuff that I want to do, but I have to kind of keep it for the bonus.

I mean, keeping poop forward. Do you see the word of the year? Merriam Webster is slop. No. Yeah. I think it has something to do with like AI slop, but I like to think of it as like,

that's how I describe. What's AI slop? Digital content of low quality that is produced usually in quantity by means of artificial intelligence. Wow. Yeah, and it's AI slop is like When a little cat is like

Or no, a baby is thrown out of a plane Yeah, and you're watching it And then a cat in a boat Yeah A buff cat in a boat picks up the baby I wish more than anything I didn't enjoy it Brooke, I'm watching that start to finish every time I wish more than anything

I wish more than anything I wish more than anything This is the shit I'm staying up to one in the morning watching by the way I wish more than anything When people are like, why don't you get, why is your sleep schedule so screwed up? I'm like, because of this. Because I'm, that was so me.

Oh. Oh, my God. That was tough one. Sorry, was that adult-sized cat pooping up beans? A cat laying down in a pajama set having diarrhea on the bed. Image description. No, it was beans. It was big pinto beans.

No, it wasn't. Can we pull that back up? That was explosive. That's beans. Coming out of its butt. Oh, my God. And there's that buff cat. Oh my God.

No, we can't. We can't. We can't. We can't condone this. No, look. Why am I watching an AI feline domestic violence case right before my head? Because for our brains have rotted to the point of no return.

I actually think I'm at the point of no return. Stop watching the girl on the ring camera. No. Look at me. Stop watching the girl on the ring camera with the squirrels. Look at me. I can't. Look at my eyes.

I already saw it. I wanted it to play again. I, like, you know, here's the downfall of humanity. I promise you. This will be, this will be the point of no return, I promise. When you're at a bar or a restaurant or something and they usually have the chive TV playing and it's like tin crazy slam dunk. Chive TV.

It's called chive TV. I can't take my eyes off of that. It's like America's funny some videos. It's like dogs. saving the day. It's like themes like that. Like kids hitting the T-ball onto their parents' penis.

Once AI slot gets on there in the TV, eyes crossed, drool coming out. It's so bad. It is so bad. I can't stress that enough. Yeah, I do. I feel like a baby watching those fruits.

Everyone was watching those fruits, bounce around. Yeah. I have a game I want to play in the bonus. Oh, let's play it in the main. No. I don't think so. This is kind of like

so last day of school vibes right now. This is last day before holiday break. The vibe that we're giving off right now, this feels like finals in college. The vibe we're giving off right now is like teacher has rolled in a TV into the classroom and it's like animal farm, you know? I was thinking Snoopy, Charlie Brown.

Someone's pushing through my... Who's calling you? Someone's pushing through my Do Not Disturb. Who's calling you? There's truly... That is for even... emergencies. That is for like someone's in the hospital.

If someone pushes through my do not disturb, I punish them by not talking to them the rest of the day. Yeah, it's not a, it's, it's, it's a faux paw. Shoot me a text. I, I'm not a caller. No, if you, if you call me it, just know, I'm saying, how dare you? You used to call all the time. I did?

All the time When? You never call anymore Back when we first got together Yeah Used to call all the time And I was always like Here he is again

But we would talk all the time on the phone We would talk, it was COVID But you know I like I never call Yeah You never called I never called But for you I will answer That is so sweet

Lucky for you That phase of my life Is completely over in bed with I don't call If I'm on a long walk and I just want to catch up with someone, I'll call. That's nice. We sound like MD Foodie Boys right now. I don't call.

I don't call. I don't call. I sometimes like to call. I like texting too. I like FaceTiming sometimes. I have the notification on my phone and it's like 26 always on my call thing, which always freaks me out. But it's all voicemails. And it's voicemails from like my grandma and stuff.

where I'm like, I want to keep that and get, and like my friend, I'm like, what if, what if they die? And this is the last voicemail. What's your last voicemail? It's from, okay, this is really bad. So I signed up, I guess, a long time ago to be an organ donor. And I am a match for someone. So I need to address that. That is not how.

Oh, like a living organ donor? Yeah. Hopefully someone's not here to harvest my, or. organs. Um, no, it's this, I, it's this, hey, this is, oh, for, uh, for plasma. Wait. This is, for, uh, maybe, or, okay. Okay. Yeah, it's, it's for like blood or something. I'm a match. I can't give blood. Why? I, I'm too short. That is not an excuse. I, no, I, I, I, no, I, I, I, It is. Like you need to weigh a certain,

you need to have a certain height to weight ratio. She's got plenty of blood. No, I don't. You need to have a certain height to weight ratio. It's like if you're like six, four, you don't have to weigh that much, but if you're like 4.11, you have to have,

there's a weight requirement basically is what I'm saying. What? Yeah, is he, we try looking at up, how much you have to weigh to give blood? Specific height to weight requirements, sparing slightly. You have to weigh 110 pounds.

Wait. Oh, male donors must be, at least five feet. Female have to be five, three, and 150 pounds. No, that's specialized donations. What's regular blood? General requirements. Minimum weight usually.

I do definitely weigh 100 pounds plus. Five woman would need to be 115 pounds. Well, five, six and tall are you seeing that? This, these numbers aren't really adding. I just remember I wasn't when I, when my school had a blood drive, I was not eligible. That's all I can tell you. So interesting. Mine's for plastic.

asthma though. And I heard it really hurts. I started to get sick just then when you're talking about plasma. Why? Because it hurts and I don't I don't want to talk about plasma. To donate blood, your weight must be at least 110 pounds. Okay, I guess I was like in a crazy skinny era. Oh, additional height and weight requirements apply to women shorter than 5.5. Yeah, there were additional requirements. Because I don't think I've dipped below 110 since I was like six. If you know what a means. Yeah, what's your last voicemail? Let's see. Etsy.

Oh, it says it's from Mom, but it's not. Ooh, spooky. It's like a fake, it's a fake person. Turn it up. Oh, I guess it is, Mom. Just like listening to TV. That's just a TV in the background. Yeah, sorry.

I thought it was a deep fake. That's good for you. for being wary of that. Here's a voicemail from Susu. Oh my God. I am totally freaking out. I don't know if that's real or not. Oh, I played this when I met Robert Pattinson.

Call me when you can, but don't FaceTime me because I look like shit. But call me. I am freaking out. You look so gorgeous. Oh, she's so sweet. She can't believe that. She really is the greatest.

Let me see if I have any more from her. Did you see that they were trying to make a, like, a gender-swapped version of holes? And they had to scrap it because, like, people were like, it's, people are going to call it, like, girl holes. We can't come out with that. I would not have thought of girl holes until you said girl holes. Well, it would be like, did you watch the boy holes or the girl holes? Like, sometimes that just happens, you know? And it is what it is.

is not proceeding with its pilot holes a reimagining of the 1998 novel in the 2003 with an with an with an adaption with a female lead girl holes that's funny yeah you okay yeah i am what i am fine what were you laughing at i was just i'm fine thank you what were you laughing at you were thinking about something. I was just wondering if this is the, if this was the project that was going to be directed by loose assel. And produced by Holden Two Dix. Yes,

Holden Two Dicks. Oh my God. I completely forgot about him. Love his work. That was good, Brooke. Thanks. I bet you didn't see anything coming. No, I really didn't.

Thanks for sharing. I mean, things are bleak. Thanks for sharing that. Fuck. That was awesome. Yeah, we needed that. Oh, it's so nice to let go. If you don't get it,

loose asshole. No, I think everyone got it. Okay, because I didn't at first. I was screaming, who's loose asshole, who's loose asshole? So some people might not get it. Who's loose asshole is this? Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan.

It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to be. Use us directed. Pool days call for cookouts and lots of luncheon. This Memorial Day at Lowe's.

Save $80 on a charbroil performance series 4-burner gas grill. Now just $199. Plus, get up to 45% off select major appliances to keep dishes, clothes, and food fresh. Having fun and the sun is easy with us in your corner. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. VALISU 527. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See associate or Lowe's.com for details.

Wait, you want to hear about my other friends? Yeah. Obviously Tristan's been texting everyone nonstop about loose asshole and shit. that um you got one is he how about what was yours you got one yeah how about you read yours okay it's funny that tristan will make up stories about stuff too Connor do you remember that girl from the house party I said which one he said I think her name is an abortion or something she's dating holding two dicks and she he goes holden was there too and I still didn't catch it so I was like reading it yeah and then cat goes I think she friends with dixie normis or was that a different

different girl and just was like their roommates and Mike Mike Oxlong wants to join as well you didn't they didn't tell you about Dixon Cider and Hugh Joss Hugh Jass is classic one it's like not funny and like at all but it's just like you know when someone does a bit

past the point and then it becomes funny yes that was good you holding that in I'll always laugh at a joke when someone's already laughing at it I've been trying to say it for a really long time too you were holding that in yeah and then I was like oh this is good because whole like loose hassle could have directed girl holes and then I couldn't and then I started laughing

no that was so funny that was a perfect time to slip in loose asshole thanks and then it's like where do you go from loose hassle right it's like I see how we got here but I don't see how we could get away from here. I went to an awesome dinner last night. What was it? I went to the Waldorf Astoria. The Wall of Astoria, did you? I was at the Waldorf Astoria last night.

How was it? Having dinner. It was really good. But I obviously got a- What is this boy? I got a stomach ache right away. What did you eat? I had.

This is empty, foodie boys. Yeah. Well, no, I had, here's the thing. Like, I thought I invented this new thing last night where it's like, I'm going to have beef and I'm also going to have fish. weirdly it didn't sit right on my stomach so how kind of fish did you have um it was a brandzino

you like that shit no fuck no it was disgusting i didn't think you did i got as soon as it came i said this we should be sitting in the smoker section this smells so gross people really like i don't know if it's brandzino or bronzino it doesn't matter people really like that fish it's just weird to have a carcass on the table no matter what animal it is like that should that belongs at the bottom of the sea do you like beef tartar yes are you joking no i wasn't no i don't like it oh i like tuna tartar yeah thanks you're welcome yeah so i got for some we did like a it was like five people so we did like everyone we're all just split which you know i don't like that yeah i don't like ordering family style because i'm keeping it and i'm keeping it and i

It's exhausting for me because I'm keeping an eye on how much everyone takes of everything. You know? And then I get a little bit competitive. I'll be full. But if I didn't get my section of that yet, hand it over. I love sharing food. I find myself, like, eating less in a good way. Like, I don't eat till I'm, like, exploding.

I'm, I stop when I'm full. I'm eating in a way that is as if I don't know if I don't know when my next meal will be. I get that. Because I'm like, oh, we're splitting this? like I want everything. I even eat stuff that I didn't want to eat curry with shrimp in it? I don't. I wouldn't want that. I don't think I

would want that. No, there shouldn't be shrimp and curry. No offense. I don't think there should be curry and shrimp. There isn't curry and shrimp. The shrimp is in the curry. I'm just saying I like shrimp and not curry. You would like curry. No, I wouldn't. Curry is amazing. I don't like curry. Curry's my favorite food. I know. I don't like it.

And that's fine. It's fine. I went to Hillstone for the first time Okay Rich Really? Yeah I love that like sushi that looks like a sandwich Do you know what I'm talking about?

Or like little finger sandwiches It was as good as everyone says it is Did you know the one in Santa Monica? No That's a good one I went to one in Beverly Hills Um With Lou Sassel

And I think Mike Oxlong met us there Yeah, I love that shit. Deeply. That's really great. I'm really happy for you. You've been kind of crushing it as of late. In what could have?

You're loving your TV shows. You're going to new restaurants. You could say that again. Me being in L.A. as a visitor, I am like having the time of my life. I'm doing so much stuff I've never done. Like what? Last night, we, I was with my, we had like our team dinner, like, end of year.

Because I'm in town. So we went. And then my, my manager was like, let's go to the rooster fish in West Hollywood. You went to the rooster fish in West Hollywood and didn't tell me? It was closed. I wanted to tell you on the podcast. So we went. Well, I would have met you.

We went to, I didn't, no, you weren't going to come out on Monday night. But it would have been nice to hear from you. We went. And I wasn't trying to have an evening at all. But like, my, my, my, everybody was having so much fun. I was like, I can't leave. So we went to the abbey. You went to the abbey last night.

Yeah. You are kidding. No, I'd never been in it. It was like karaoke night or something. And we sat there and we had a time. Wow. Sat outside. There's heater on.

It's all Christmas vibes. If Tristan found out you were at the Abbey last night and didn't reach out to him, I think he would like genuinely off himself. If I was like looking to have like have like my co-workers in the space or else I would have. I just can't believe you were at the Abbey. I can't either. I didn't see myself going to the Abbey. The Abbey is the bar that. that Chapel Rhone wrote Pink Pony Club about.

Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. But also, there's just like a strip of gay bars in West Hollywood. And on the strip is also High Tops, which is I feel like where I go the most. And our friends go the most. Guess who showed up at High Tops the other night? Who?

Hudson and Connor. Hudson and Connor. Oh, both of them? Both of them. Wow, damn. Made an appearance. So I went to High Tops on Sunday. just kind of hoping.

I just wanted to be in the same space. You kind of just always need to have your shoes on. Exactly. Because if they start posting, then you need to be heading out the door. I think I would be good with them, like talking to them in a way that I wouldn't be good

talking to other celebrities that I like. Because I could say something. Like what? Like about how much their work means to me. They would appreciate that, I think. Yeah. I feel like those are two individuals that will be in the same room with at some point.

I can't. wait if that's the case. Yeah, I do think that that is the case. Wow. I mean, though I like, I can't like. But you know what's going to happen and I know this is going to happen? You're going to meet them first? Yeah.

I'm so mad at you. I don't. Already. It's something. I think it's because it's not supposed to happen. That's why it always happens. Yeah. I haven't seen Matthew Great in a second.

I know. I'm worried too. I should check on him. You should check on him. He doesn't. Have you? ever, you should try DMing him. Just say I haven't seen you in a long time.

I miss you and hope everything's okay. Checking on you. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I will. That's my friend. Yeah.

That is your friend. MGGG. It's a nice thing to do. Matthew. What should I say? Hey buddy. Hey buddy. Yeah.

I haven't seen you in a while. Goopler Graham. Okay. Okay. I'm going to unsend a couple messages very quickly. What did you send? I asked him to come on the podcast. Oh.

October 2nd. Of this year? Yeah. He didn't read it or it's okay. Hey buddy. Haven't seen you in a minute or so. Give or take.

Give or take. Hope you're well. Lou Sassel and I were just catching up. He said it. Lou Sassel and I were just catching up. Miss you. hope to see you

And you came up Over the holiday Yeah Lou Sassel and I were just catching up And you came And you came up And you came up Yeah

Perfect scent Yeah Nice Hey buddy haven't seen you a minute Or so give a take Loose Assel and I were just catching up And you came up Miss you

Hope to see you over the holiday P.S P S I love you Mike Litteris sends his regards No, I can't. Not to MGG. I can't say Mike Litterist. Also since his regards. Why? I don't know if he's into that type of stuff. That's true. He's probably not. Lou Sassel. Yeah. He might be into that. Genuinely, when you read Luce Sassel, like, that doesn't. Like, because Lou and Sassel both, like, they check out. I want him to read it to someone, Ella. What's so weird, you know, I've met his parents.

I do know that. It's crazy. Another celebrity thing recently. I was talking to someone last night and they work out at this gym that Will Ferrell frequents and... Equinox? Yeah. I used to see him when I went.

Yeah. Said that she was watching our podcast on her phone and he was watching over her shoulder and laughing. There's not. That's a lie. Will Farrell. I hate to tell you. It's not. Like I didn't...

She was watching with headphones? No. So he was watching. He wasn't. There's no way he was looking at her phone with no volume and laughing. Okay. Maybe we could just... Unless he was making fun of the way we look.

Yeah, that sucks. Let's switch because that bummed me out. Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Yeah. I genuinely want to walk for 30 minutes every day. I have to start writing my next book in January. Could you... Is there a world where you could write while you walk?

No. Because you have to... The only thing I do when I'm walking is think I hate this. You and cousin Logan hate walking. She'll walk a little bit and she goes, my ears are hurting from walking. My thighs start to itch so badly whenever I walk. I am a walking, you can't sit me down in a chair. I used to be so good.

I love walking. We used to walk a lot during COVID. Yeah, we did. We'd walk to all the pet stores and try to find a frog. Yeah. How crazy is it? That very pet store is where I got Jonathan. It is.

We're looking for frogs. My year's resolution is to start responding to text as they come in. Because my phone, which by the way, I got the new phone over the weekend. I fucking hate it. I don't get how to use any part of this phone. I really, I hate the new texting interface where it's like if you want to screen. screenshot a text like the text above it will always be a little bit visible do you know what I'm talking about No, but I don't like when you screenshot now you have to be like you have to save it to your phone

phones and this also sucks when I complain about stuff like this That's like okay, that's really not an issue like people are starving But and it makes me think of I think Jake Cornell the comedian he said he was talking about people in favor of AI like using chat GBT He's like, people that are saying that, like, now you can ask chat GBT. So I mean, you don't have to scroll to a second page of Google. He's like, and was that hard for you to do scrolling to the second page of Google? It was so hard that we had to create a solution for that. And it's true.

Life is becoming so easy that screenshoting is hard for me. I need a reality check. Yeah. I completely agree, Connor. It's not good. And I'm a victim to it. Here's something that I hate a lot. Okay.

Hey, we've updated the phone. We put the camera button here because everyone's taking their photos this way. And then what you're going to love next is when you take the picture, the photos go into a secret place where you can't find them. And by the way, you want to send your friend a couple? Guess what? I cloud link. They're going to get them and they're going to see that they're there, but they'll never be able to save them to the phone. Yeah.

No, but that's nothing new. I just can't find my photos. No, I'll save a photo from someone And I know that it's somewhere But there's no It's like a needle in the haystack I would love to find a needle in the haystack That's something that I feel like I wouldn't seem very hard to me

I feel like it'd be really good at it I know I do think I would be able to do that Can we do that as a YouTube video Brooklyn Connor find a needle in a haystack What kind of needle? A needle a standard needle Like a classic Can I say something?

that's my perfect day. Finding a needle in a haystack? Yeah. Yeah, I can see you becoming hyper focused on a task that has no significance or meaning. Dream my dream to eight, cute. Yeah, I love untangling things. Yeah, you're good at that. I am good at that.

And I think it's funny. I remember in like high school and stuff, people would always be like, is anyone good at this because they'd like manipulate people and being like, I am? I was like, I know that they're manipulating me, but like, I'll bite. I am good. Yeah. Girls would always put like six necklaces into their makeup bag and be like, can you untangle these six? Oh my God.

Perfect. That's a great project for me. That is really sweet thinking about if they had a crush on you, like at home tangling their jewelry to bring them to bring it in for you to untingle. Oh, yeah. Wow. I would have done that. Maybe put that in your back pocket. I would have done that.

For the novels, for the novellas. One time when I was in first grade, I asked the boy I liked for a goldfish. Like a snack? Yeah. Because I. The one that smiles back? Yeah. because I wanted to like keep it and like in a treasure chest.

I wanted to make a box of treasures and I said can I have a goldfish? And he said no because I know that you like me. Can you like I was like how did you know I wanted to keep it? You know what like how did you know I had a sinister plan? You know what he said in so many words. What? I'm not I'm not looking for anything serious right now. And me giving this goldfish would.

He didn't want to give me the wrong idea. I think he was like trying to be like. Clear. I think he was trying to be clear about his intention. Yeah, he's keeping things casual right now. I just remember being really like whoa by that. I kind of, he set a boundary very early. Six years old. No, because I know that you like me. And he didn't want to share his goldfish with me. He was the hottest guy in school. He was six. So was I. Okay. I don't know like postpartum calling a six year old hot as kosher. Yeah. I, when I was six, and my six year old peers and I, viewed him as the hottest guy in school. And when I was 18, he was still the hottest guy in school. Still didn't, still wouldn't have shared his goldfish with me. Did you ask?

No, obviously scarred. Was it crispy? Was it crispy? Right, right. Right. Right. I can't believe you have so many memories of when you were a six. I didn't have my first.

Well, that's like a bat, like that like sticks with you. No, you remember almost everything. I don't, I don't have a, memory of a year ago. And I figured out why. It's because my ADHD is so severe that I'm so thinking about the next thing that's going to happen while the thing is happening that I don't compartmentalize or save memories to my brain.

I realize I've like never been in the moment. Recently I've been thinking that. Well, the thing that helps with that is five things you can see. Four things you can hear. Three things you can feel. Two things you can smell and crazy smelling two things you want. And then one thing you can taste, which is always just like my tongue. I've, you know, I've been on a few dates recently.

And I realized like when I was talking to these young men, there was not one second where I was like listening to what they were saying. It was all just like thinking about the situation. Sure. Five steps down the line. Sure. I couldn't tell you what I, what their jobs are. That's not important. But it's just like I would like to be in a conversation.

Sure. But I found myself not in them recently. I remember one time we talked about, our I post was like how do I, how do I, how do I, how do I, how to care when someone's talking? Because I was sometimes in situations where I'm just like, oh my gosh, I really don't care. And someone sent me the meanest message.

What did they say? Like something about, I mean, I don't know. I didn't really read it. but it was mean. I don't think that, well, maybe if you just like genuinely don't care, it's not great.

But I care, I just, I can't, I'm thinking about something. I have to think about something else right now. Yeah, you, yeah. But I'm talking about like,

I'm, I'm cornered by this person, this individual at like a party or something. Yeah. Oh, get me out of here. Yeah,

no, that's not your fault that you don't care about that. And it's like someone would walk up to me and be like, my parents met on a cruise in the 80s and it's like, okay.

Yeah, exactly. What I have to do? Maybe this is the issue. I'm a narcissist. What does that have to do with me? How does that affect me? That is narcissism.

Yeah. Unless I need something from this individual. Then it has a lot to do with me. No way, a cruise? Still narcissism. Yeah. At least I'm self-aware. Although I don't think many narcissists would be like, I'm a narcissist and I know it.

I think, Izzy, can we look up our narcissists self-aware of their narcissism? I think historically, I don't think they are. I don't think self-awareness absolves you. I think you could have narcissistic traits without being like a... Ooh. They generally have a significant lack of awareness. So maybe you have narcissistic tendencies. Yeah, sure.

Personal gain is interesting. You might be too anxious to be a narcissist. Yeah, because I'm worried about how people perceive me. Yeah. Which I feel like a narcissist maybe wouldn't be. You want to take the Am I a narcissist test? Yeah. Is it really a long?

It's just a five-minute quiz. Okay. I need to be constantly praised. Strongly agree. Thank you. Next. I worry about my own all the time.

Yep, that's a strong one. I can be extremely competitive. Yeah, I can't play Monopoly anymore. Yes. I am more generous and kind when I have an audience. Go ahead and put me down for strongly agree.

I rarely hold a grudge. Strongly disagree. The opposite. Yeah, strongly disagree with that. I often experience deep feeling of shame. Hmm. I don't know if it's deep.

feeling of a shame. I'm going to just say often no, I don't think I, neutral. I can be described as a shy person, no. I struggle to read people or determine how they feel. No. Okay, I'm reading everybody and I'm making up my version

of them. I don't think you're reading them correctly all the time. To determine how they feel I think I'm, oh, I struggle to read people. I'm going to say disagree, but not strongly disagree. Okay. Does it even make sense for the individual that's trying to see if they're narcissists

to take a test like this, you know? Because it's like, I rarely feel guilt or remorse. I disagree. I do my best to avoid conflict. I agree. I think most people are doing the best they can with what they have. Disagree.

I often disagree with someone else's feedback. I'm strongly agree. Strongly agree. I am extremely adverse to mediocrity. That one's interesting. That is interesting. I think you are. I am extremely adverse to mediocrity.

end with others. Yeah, okay. I agree. I have an overly defensive attitude. I strongly agree. I strongly agree with that. I very strongly agree. My close friends rarely disappoint me. Yeah, no one really disappoints me. Yeah, I agree. This is going to be longer than five minutes. Do you see the little loading bar? Yeah, is that the loading bar? Yeah, it is. We can finish it in the bonus. Okay, we'll do this in the bonus. Because I want to finish with my, I want to finish right now with my, my nearest resolutions. Yeah, what are they? One, I want to read my text. Yeah. Which like seems so easy, but it's a real heavy left for me. But then I got the new phone and it started over. So now I only have now I only have 105 on red since I got the phone on Sunday. That's ridiculous. One is that. Two,

I was trying to train to run the marathon next year in New York. Yeah. But then this is a douchebagging in this next sentence then someone was like if you run a lot you don't retain as much of the like muscle game

on your body from lifting so I'm cutting back on running so I need to figure out a new fitness goal okay and then the rest I can't say the rest is history herstery

I'm just really want to go outside of my comfort zone yeah I think you're doing that I think I really am how nice to have started on years resolutions before. I got a head start, but I'm going to do it even more, which is crazy.

That is crazy and awesome. And very awesome. Yeah. My bangs changed my life. I'm not just saying that. Maybe I got to get bangs. Maybe. I come in for the next episode in the new year

and I have full blonde. I have a bowl cut. Yeah. You would look good with the Will Byers cut because you guys have the same shape face, kind of. Can you pull up Will Byers? Do you know who that is? Now a Snap.

Does that make sense? I wouldn't look good with that. And we do not have the same shaped face. I'm thinking of him like the one below, is he? Yeah. Coconut head? You think I look like a 12 year old? You do look young.

Wow. But in an amazing way. It's a hyloronic acid that I'm soaking in it every night. Are you? Yeah. Okay, well, let's wrap this one up. Okay. Put us out of our misery.

Put you out of your misery, the listeners. Yeah. Well, happy holidays, happy Hanukkah, happy Christmas, Merry Christmas, happy New Year. We love you. Thanks for an amazing year. Thanks for an amazing year. 2026 is going to be balls to the wall, like good.

It is, oh my gosh, we have so much fun stuff. Yeah, we really do. And then we filmed a new YouTube video last week. And that will be out. Eventually. Soon. Soon. Oh, Izzy.

That was the day I really actually, that my hair looked good. That was your bowl cut. I told you. Like, you know what's crazy is that was like, that was like clip farming. We had so many clips from that episode. And I was like, gosh, dang it. That sucks. What the hell?

No one said anything. I did. Because you've always said you would want to know. Yeah, but I said Connie, baby. I don't think you want to do the bangs. I said, I don't think you want to do the bangs. I don't think you want to do the bangs. Where are your friends?

a time like I was right there. Oh my gosh. You weren't listening. You got defensive. It looks like I'm wearing a wig. You got defensive. Oh my gosh. It looks like I skinned a raccoon on the way in. You got defensive. Oh my God. It looked like David Bowie. Any. And with David Bowie, we leave you. I stand with David Bowie. Hang on. Don't hold me on that. I can't remember the history of David Bowie. Hunter, baby, it's Bowie. No, no, no. Type in David Bowie. Raccoon. Ooh, you were about to get learned today. Is that who you were talking about, though?

David Bowie at the Alamo. Hell yeah. Okay, so this is just AI generated images of raccoons dressed up as David Bowie. No. This is not who I'm thinking of. Perhaps I flubbed a bit. But hang on to something. There's Alamo.

Okay. People look up Alamo raccoon. No, it's something booey. Something buoy. Alamo Raccoon Hat guy It's Davey Crockett

Sorry All right We are going to Head on out for the year God knows We could use a little bit of a breathing And some grace

While you're at it I think we could leave I think we all owe Everybody's enough grace I'm leading with love Lou Sassel just got here So I genuinely do have to go And Holden 2 Dix is staring at me.

Like I owe him money. So I'm going to head out over there too. We love you. We love you guys. Sorry about that. We'll see you in the new year. Hope everyone's well. I do genuinely do too.

Okay. Bye. Summer is here and Ralph's is your destination for hot savings. Find unique items at low prices with a wide assortment of products from our exclusive brands. Fire up the grill with cookout classics like burgers and broad. and don't forget delicious produce like fresh melons or beat the heat with frozen treats while chilling poolside. Whatever your summer plans, Ralphs makes it easy to enjoy high-quality fresh food at affordable prices. Ralph's, serving SoCal for over 150 years.