Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Cheers To 100!

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OEBbbj NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  Holy Hell! 100 Podcasts! Brooke and Connor crack open some cold ones and reminisce on their favorite moments from the early days. Plus, they quiz their BNC 101 knowledge and announce an exciting rebrand. Thank you for 100 episodes, here’s to 100 more!  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc  Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BANDC at https://Manscaped.com.  Go to https://Quince.com/bandc for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BANDC at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod  B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 The Humping Wolves 1:05 NEW INTRO!!! 1:28 Happy 100 Pod!!! 4:38 A Celebratory Cocktail 7:50 Getting Sappy & Sloppy 10:10 Make A Wish 11:55 Cursed With Perfect Teeth 16:44 Manscaped 19:53 WE HAVE NEW ART 21:38 Brooke’s Tragic Story  23:32: Who Said It: B&C Edition 31:03 Quince 32:45 Analyzing Curb 33:32 More Who Said It 48:49 Lume 51:22 Chick Fil A BMs 53:50 More Games 58:42 B&C Pop Quiz 1:13:14 Hitting The Word Count 1:16:44 One Touch Is ALL It Takes 1:16:15 Thank You For 100 :) 1:17:44 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I have two wolves inside me, humping each other. And that's what they, they just goof around all that. One is, like, overcompensate. They're, one is like... How did you get to wolves? I don't know. And how did you get to humping each other? I don't know.

I don't know. Actually, they're both... One of them is hocking up like a hairball. And the other one's like overcompensating by being like really like fun. Okay. Blanketing the hairball one. So you're saying there's two parts of you kind of at odds. Yeah.

I think there is like the little tiny thing that's like you should feel gross right now. Uh-huh. And then there's the bigger part that's like, no, it's totally fun. Uh-huh. Yeah. Just enjoy the day. Yeah. I will be watching 50 first dates today.

Oh, that's a movie night. Oh my God. It's completely movie night. It's Friday right now. We're recording a bit in advance. So right now it's currently Friday, December 8th, so we're not responsible for anything that happens after Friday, December 8th. But it is like giving movie night. It's giving huge movie night.

Guys, you may notice watching on YouTube. Welcome back to Brooke and Connor make a podcast. It's a special one. Come here, gather around. Are you going to go under? Do you want to go over? Oh, yeah. That's probably easier.

Guys, it is the 100th episode of Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast. I can't believe it. I can't either. It feels like yesterday that we just started episode one. How do you do this? I think it says to twist. Ready? Happy 100. Wait, oh, this way? Okay. Don't play in your face. Not which way. The, the, this part is going to like short it on the bottom. This, this way. Yeah. Happy 100th episode of Brooke and Connor Monson podcast. Oh my God. Were you expecting that? Did we break anything? Did we break? Did we break this? Is not. broken? Oh my god. I don't want to do that again right now. Oh, I'm actually so good on the Oh my God. That was actually like very intense. I'm actually all tapped out on the explosive right now.

Whoa. Okay. That was bonkers. That was really wild. I wish you guys could have felt what it's like to be in our bodies while firing the confetti cannon. We all wish you guys were here in our bodies. Anyway, we're not good at, you know, good at the same. sappiness, but we love you all so much and we appreciate you so much and we're so thankful to be here 100 episodes in and that's really, that's really what I have to say. I love you so deeply. I can't believe it's been 100 episodes. I know. That's 100 weeks. Well, this is technically 99, right? But it will be the 100th to air. This is the 99th we're recording. So it's been 99 weeks. It's been 99 weeks. I'm going to be completely quezed. What has changed? Let's think about it.

I'll tell you. Tell me. We're like, I think we more talk to each other now than we, like, before we were like. Yeah. And we're doing our own thing next to each other. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That was horrible.

It makes me when I quees. It makes me when a quees. It is awesome that people made it past, however many episodes we did that for. That's really a level of faith that I don't have. Right. I would have maybe, like, clocked out and said, like, circle back when you guys figure it out. Yeah. I also think there was a lot of stuff that we, like,

felt like we had to talk about that we didn't really care about. Oh my gosh, me trying to talk about tech updates in the tech world. Right, right. Well, I'm sure everybody heard about, um, oh, I forgot you were a full tech updater. Yeah. Sam Bankman. Bankman freed. Yeah. Um, now time for me to explain that. I didn't get it. I didn't. I wasn't listening. No, you, I think you, you were like completely checked out. Yeah. So once we stopped doing that and started talking about things we care about, i.e. farts. It got good. Yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't trade it for the world, man. Me neither. Well, any way to celebrate, I think we're going to have a cocktail while we record. So we're going to have a cocktail while we record,

is kind of what you were saying. Yeah. So my goal is, I'm, my goal is not to get very drunk. I just want to have a nice little buzz. Right. Yeah. I want to be like a little bit, a little bit silly. Yeah. I'm not. But completely in great, in great shape. Within bounds. But you know, it's very hard for me to find a buzz. Right. I was able to last night at the holiday party in a crazy turn of events drank way too much. Really groundbreaking stuff. I got drunk at a holiday party. That's like, that's my bread and butter. And I apologize to everyone looking at me right now.

Won't happen again. Can I ask? Did you show up drunk? So I filmed an interview I said I would never do this in my life I Tiny Mike interviewed on Venice Boardwalk yesterday for an ad And what's the ad for can you tell us? Yeah it's for US Dairy Oh hell yeah Which I've never been like I do stand up

I can do it I could not for the life of me Like go up to someone and ask them If they drink milk That was the hardest thing I've ever done Yeah so I was out there with Tate and he was like you should have a beer because it would take the edge off so I had two but I hadn't eaten yesterday right and so when I came to the thing I was off of I was off my rock off of two beers and then I had five I think at the at the event right and some espresso martinis two espresso martini okay granted they were they were like

miniature sure yeah but but it was two I had a few broken Connor maker cocktails I really enjoyed those I wish I had one of those right now I didn't get around to it yeah but I got a headache because it's more of like a champagne base. But sometimes it's worth it. Champagne is the biggest scam in the world to me. Oh, why? Because you have champagne. Well, let's crack open a cold one.

Okay. I'm going to, Brooke, crack open one of my flying embers, Connor Wood, spicy lime margaritas. That's perfect. Featuring 10% alcohol. And on the back of these, these will be available for everyone to buy online very soon. And some in stores too in the south and on the East Coast.

this says on the back this is pretty cool blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah uh brook and connor make a podcast oh in 2022 he launched his podcast brook and connor make a podcast he is still low key

unemployed and single and can't wait for you to try this I would call you unemployed at this time I didn't write that I didn't know that was there that's fascinating um anyways okay and I'm going to be simply

on a white claw. Raspberry. It's kind of weird to have a cocktail with no music playing. Do you know what I mean? Like you could hear a pin drop in here and we're cracking open a cold one. It's giving alcoholic. Oh, I feel fine. Here you go.

Cheers me. Cheers, honey. To 100. To 100. To 100. To 100 more. To 100 more. More.

Yeah, that's facts. Okay. Well, I think do you want to say anything else about the holiday party? That's so good. No, it was brilliant. It was so fun. It was kind of sappy also. It's so weird that the holiday party fell right in line with our 100th episode

because there were a lot of milestones shared at the holiday party. Ryan gave a speech and it was really good. And I was like, oh, wow, if you looked around the room, I was like, oh, wow, if you looked around the room, I was like, there are so many people on the TMG team. It is wild. So that was cool to see everybody in a room. Never put me in a room with a man Unless it's all of the men and women on The TMG team

And as I've said before, don't put me in a room You can't put this girl in a room No, you can't Okay, I'm scared It says Izzy's treat dot dot dot dot But you spoil us Oh, Izzy Oh my gosh, you guys

She spoils us She does She does, she really does spoil us I have a new lease on life because on the way here I full blown looking at the road I have my weakest moments as a driver when I'm staring at the road

it's not like when I'm like picking something up off my driver seat or my passenger seat or like Max starts leaking my face is when I have zero distraction and I'm looking at the road that's when I do the most careless stuff I'm looking at the road

run right through a stop sign over here and I was probably 10 minutes away and a motorcycle cop which is not even close. That's the worst kind of cop. That's what happened to Jill last night. Oh my heavens to Betsy. He pulls, he was up on a curb like in the sidewalk, which is an issue. And I should have citizens arrested him for having his motorcycle on the sidewalk. He pulls off of the curb, follows me. And I'm just like, that sucks. I'm already late. And I'm not in the mood to get pulled over. Sometimes I'm,

I could handle it. Today I don't think I would have handled it because I was fragile. And he, followed me the whole way here and then I turned into the parking lot and he kept going and I was like who he sure does know how to put the fear the fear of God and you know that man that man on that bike I don't want to say anything in this space about no no no no no please but I do have things to say that unfortunately I can't just do the manifestation issues I also have things and I don't think my license plate is registered oh my gosh the cake oh it's a cake it's a cake and it says 100 From that place. Oh, Izzy.

Oh, damn. This is really not something I should eat. Izzy, oh my God. I'm going to eat it. Oh, thank you, Izzy. I'm going to eat the whole goddamn thing. Okay. But we can't say it.

And now we can. Oh, that's a damn shame. Should it be podcast related or personal? You can make whatever wish you want to. Okay, I'll go personal. Oh. You can go professional. You can wish for something about the podcast.

I'll wish for something about me. Unless you want to wish for something about you. I can wish for something about you. I see where your cards lie. Okay. Sure. Oh, do you want to wish something about me and I'll wish something about you? Yeah, let's do that. What's good for each other? Okay. Okay. Okay. I know what I... Oh, I have mine too. Okay. Okay. Can't tell you. Okay. And we're in this spaceburg, so please be careful because we could have a freaky Friday situation here.

Do not wish to switch bodies with me. I won't. I won't. I don't think I, deep down, I don't think I want that. Why? Because I'd be scared. It would be permanent. Stop. I'm getting the EBD. Okay. Let's go. Ready? Okay, wait. Okay. Oh. Yay! Let's all keep in mind the left side of the cake is covered in my spit. And my side, too.

The right side, yeah. Okay, so. So I'll stick to the right. I'll have the left and everyone else kind of keep towards the back and the front. Yeah, that sounds good. I did lose a piece of spin, and I can't find it. Yeah, how would you be able to find that? Like if it was globbing somewhere.

Okay. Oh, my gosh. Heaven's to Betsy. That's something that I'm going to start saying, you know what I got stuck in my head today and I couldn't stop saying. G. Willickers? No. Boom, shakalaka. I love when phrases get stuck in your head.

Boom, shockalaka? Boom, and I cannot emphasize this enough, shockalaka. Where is that even from? I want to write that on my bathroom mirror, so it's the first thing I read every day. Bring it back. Bring it back. Look, I'm going. Boom shakalaka.

That's like my hookuna matata. Where did it come from? NBA jam. What's that? Video game. No way. Boom Shakalaka came from NBA Jam? As far as I know.

Wow, I'm such a sports freak. Pretty old. I used to play when I was a kid. Oh, really? And I'm 35 now. When did video games come out? A long time ago. A while back.

Huh. I always thought of them as like more new. I guess I'm thinking just more PlayStation. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I had the thought of yesterday? In West Philadelphia, born and raised. Yeah.

on the playground is where I spent most of my days. But no, I was thinking like in that whatever age it was when everyone started to get braces, I obviously was curse with like perfect teeth. Were you so upset that you didn't? I was, I hated my parents. Like it was not their fault. I have great teeth. Actually, it is their fault.

Yeah. I had great teeth. They're kind of shifting now. I think now it's done for Envisaline and Forge. But I remember being like, oh, like everyone's getting new colors on their braces. And I was just like, damn, like on. I wanted my teeth, I would push my teeth in school to make them move. Oh, I would suck my thumb in second grade because this girl had an expander so that she wouldn't put her thumb in her mouth.

That's actually what she said, but now I don't think that's what an expander's for. No, that's for like an under or over bite. She had this thing that was on the roof of her mouth and then it like it would come down so that she could not suck her thumb. Was it like, if she's put her thumb in her mouth and closed her mouth, like you couldn't. Was it technology? I don't get it. No, it was like metal. Was it on springs?

I'm really not following what I said. You know, an expander that they just put in the roof of your mouth? I think that people in my neck of the woods were using rubber bands for that. No, those are separate. She had an expander, which is just something that you put at the roof of your mouth to expand, said mouth. And then something was coming down. A blockade, a gate. A blockade.

A blockade. Don't put a blockade in my mouth for any reason. I need it open. I guess she wasn't. I guess that's what you used that for. She's telling the truth. So then I was stuck in my thumb to try to get one of those. To try to get a blockade?

Yeah, I wanted a blockade so bad. Oh my gosh. Wow, not an oral blockade. Yeah. I would die? Like, why would anyone want that? Like, what is wrong with your brain at that age that I would want a piece of metal in my mouth jabbing into my tongue, preventing me from sticking my fingers in my mouth?

That's self-hatred. Yeah. I tried to break my arm on multiple occasions. Me too. I think I hit it with a hammer. I don't even want to share that. I think I hit my hand with a hammer. I jumped from far up.

I had this friend, Andrew, who would always break up. He would break everything. Foot, leg, arm, finger. And he always had a cast. And I was like, that. I know. Why, yeah, yeah. Well, I would get fake ace bandages from CVS and go to school with them on.

Constantly, Brooke. Constantly. I can't remember what, I think we were playing. Like, did you guys have like a rancash? the world day in school where you had like field day and it was like around the world themed like eat different stations for different countries yeah i'm sure i'm sure i'm sure my i can't remember any any nuances but i'm sure mine was so racist like our school like i just know for a fact i can't think of anything i'm sure they all were back then but um i didn't want to play so i found an old

wrist brace and i had everyone sign it and it's like disposable so I don't know why I did that. Signing a cast. God damn. I never got that. There's no rush quite like it. Sign my cast. I bet there is a rush quite like it being the receiver, getting your cast signed.

Probably more of a rush than signing a cast. That's what I'm saying. Oh, I thought you were talking about being the signer. I am Picasso. My canvas is this cast. Yeah. It was just a blank slate. It was whatever you made it.

I remember there was one dude that changed the entire game for me, Trevor. and he decided to make waves with his cast. He said, no one's signing this. And then he started to have a crush on this girl. He let just her sign it. I hope they're married. That's the OG Kanye only following Kim. Facts.

Brooke. Now that I think of it, I think his name might have been Kanye. Not Trevor. Just kidding, y'all. It was Trevor. I will never forget him. I won't either.

I want to check on him. You should probably. Okay, we have new artwork. We have new artwork. We have new artwork. What? I was just reading that as if like, I was just reading it.

We have new artwork. Wait, we're launching our, okay, guys, everyone knows I love a rebrand. It is so important every once in a while to rebrand, refresh, recycle, renew.

And that's just what we're doing. We are, we're burning this house to the ground and out of it arises like a phoenix, our new artwork. We're so excited about it. I really love it. It's cute but also fresh.

It's cute but also mature. Yeah. Keeping the cute aspect, elevating, growing. Elevating is good for it. Elevating. I love it. It's really. Wait, can we look at it?

Just too precious. Woo! I know, it's so cute. Oh my gosh. If you're listening only, you're really missing out. You should. Just look at your phone. Oh my God.

Yeah. You can check your phone if you want to. It's real cute. It's so perfect. Like, I can't think of, like, I'm looking at this and I can't wait to see We don't have any in production yet, but I can't wait for new merch. I know. And I'm sitting on my DSDF sweater and it's perfectly formed to my butt right now, or else I would pull it out.

But this merch is going to be epic. I can't wait. Epic. You know what's funny is these bears came to both of us separately. You know what I mean? Like, I've been obsessed with these bears. What bears? These specific young man and woman?

Specifically those ones that are on those polo Ralph Rand. Martin, yeah. Sweeters. Yeah. And I had kept that in, that thought in, and then you said it out loud and I was like, that's crazy. Yeah. That our cycle synced in that way.

I love those. And Izzy was wearing one the other day. I was wearing one. I have one now. Should I tell my story? My tragic story. Oh, do you know about it yet? I told her yesterday.

I got Izzy one for Christmas and that was one of the packages that was stolen. And it had a horse on it. It had a horse on it. It was from eBay, so I can't get it again. But I got Kikiana. Kikianika as a placeholder. That is so cute. What's going on?

Kikianika is Kiki's cousin. Kiki too. Are you laying that case to rest or what's the deal? Kikianika? No, no, no. You're sold in packages. Yeah. The deputy isn't answering me.

Bigger fris. The deputy's not answering me. My insurance came back and said that I didn't meet my deductible. It was like right under my deductible. Oh, my gosh. That sucks. So that sucks. How much?

It was $900 of packages, right? No, it was like $450 and my deductible is $500. But you still file it, right? Yeah. Just in case it happens again. And you're above your deductory. Oh, I just thought that was for one. I want to hit wonder per case.

Okay. One thing about me, if I'm $50 under, I'm committing insurance fraud. I didn't know that was an option. Lying is always an option. I know. Oh, I get very scared. Yeah, you have to learn when to lie. Cops can always trust me because I am literally quaking in my boots.

You need to learn. Around any sort of authority. Sometimes lying is the best medicine. You need to learn when to lie. It's a great skill to have. Yeah. And I feel like one of those times is not committing insurance fraud. You know what I mean?

Different strokes for different folks. Totally. We've always said that. Okay, let's do some fun stuff. Okay. Is he prepared a bunch of fun activities for us to do on the podcast. Izzy, what is your advice for where to start? I would say maybe start with the drinking game.

Okay. Ooh, fun. So it's basically everything you guys have said in the last 100 episodes, and you have to guess who said it out of the two of you. That's so good. And I think it's going to be harder than we think. Yeah, some of them are easy. Some of them are. I have that thing where if I remember something a certain way, like,

That becomes my truth. That's normal. And it's scary because that's the one thing about my mom that I wanted to not receive genetically. It's like there's her truth and then there's the truth. And they're very different. Her truth. You're doing the truth right now. No, you're doing his truth right now.

Yeah. You're doing her truth. Yeah. What is the truth? We'll find out right now on who said it B&C edition. Okay. Okay. Excuse me

She was nutting on the stage being an absolute nut That's Brooke What? Yeah, that's so you Who was nutting? It's out of context Funny Do you remember who was nutting?

Let me say it out loud And then we'll see if like it sounds like something I would say She was nutting on stage being absolute nut That is you No, that's so you She was nutting on stage being an absolute nut I know that's good Because one of you will have to drink

So it's good Oh my God That was you Who will who was nutting on stage then i'll figure out who it was brook will never know no wait let me think about it she she was nutting on stage who's she who have i seen that's a woman on stage recently taylor swift i don't remember her nutting who was do we get the context as well as the person oh no no no no no yeah yeah okay um she was nutting on stage we're absolutely nut it is so you that is so completely you

I would never say this even though Why wouldn't you say that? I don't think I've ever called someone a nut and I know I haven't because I love that so much. I do say nut. You do. So I will say me but I don't remember. I'll say me but I don't remember saying it

and I won't be surprised if it's Connor. What was it about? Jane Lynch. You're talking about Jane Lynch and how she was on stage and like Oh yes. When was Jane Lynch on stage? Where? That I don't remember.

It was like. That will never know. Yeah. She was maybe. presenting something. It was when you realized you liked her. Oh my gosh. Jamie Lee Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I was being pretty anti- Jamie. But why was she nutting?

She was being an absolute. I can see her, it was just because she was being a nut. Okay. She was being a nut. Like Jamie Lee Curtis is a nut. Yeah. That's so perfect. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Okay. Very cool. So no one drinks. What you both do? Or, or do? Oh. Oh. Well, no. I'm going to play it if I lose. I drink. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I'm playing by the rules. I'm playing by the rules. Okay, I'm ready for the next one.

This is fun. I love games. If I'm wearing a really good outfit, that's the Whole Foods I'll go to. You're addicted to see and be seen. I want to get this tattooed. That is, yeah, that's me. Yeah. If I'm wearing a really good outfit, that's the Whole Foods I'll go to.

To see and be seen. Did I say to see? Wait, what is that? Yeah. I said that. That sentence doesn't even make sense, though. If I'm wearing a really good outfit, that's the Whole Foods all good. There's two whole foods near me.

One is where all the hot people go to. And on days when I'm just really not feeling like it. But I'm not getting this whole foods that's nearby. Like if you were looking to put a ring on it, like or get wiped up or husband up, that's where you go. Go to this whole foods. I'll give you the address. That's you. Yeah, that's me.

Oh, that's a sweet picture. I've never seen that. Me neither. It's cute. She is so hot Like Sydney Sweeney Who? R.E.

The green M&M. That's you. That's you. From like the first episode. That's you. We're actually like pretty good at this I think. That's Brooklyn.

That's the Brooklyn Bridge speaking. It's the bang bang combo. That's me. I already know. It's the bang bang combo of getting a Starbucks

at Barnes & Noble and then shitting your pants at Barnes & Noble. Maybe it was Brooke. No, I think I was probably the one shooting my pants at Barnes & Noble but you were the one

putting it into words. I always say you. I always say the bang I've never said bang bang bang because we coined that in college because there was a goodwill right next to KFC We were so we hadn't zero dollars to our name So anytime we needed we had like a themed party or something like we'd go to Whole Foods and then we get too hungry or not whole foods we'd go to We'd go to goodwill noble get our costumes No

Tatyanaca what was the thing Kiyonika. What was I saying? Ooh, guys, reminder this is 10%. That's what's happening. Oh, I forgot your drinking. That's what's happening. Whoa. We would go to Barnes... To Goodwill, and then we would

walk across the parking lot and go to KFC. What does that have to do with Barnes & Noble? We called the bang bang. Oh. Because it was like such a classic bang-bang-bang situation. No two cougals or vaginas are the same. That's me. You. No two cougals or vaginas are the same.

words to live by. True and you. Real pretty. I like need that shirt that I'm wearing. That was direct finger to nipple connection. That's you. That asked me to me. Yes.

I wonder what the context was. It's so funny. I feel like we talk in similar ways. Like I feel like our, our diction is very similar. But like there are certain things like you would only say finger to nipple connection. Can I ask what the finger to nipple connection was?

Connor like reached out to grab something from you. Hit you in the boom. And then you said that was direct. That's sweet. No one talks about that situation enough. We're like, it is so, so hard as a man. Right. Oh, I'm sorry.

It is. One thing, it's so hard as a man to touch a woman's boob on accident. It is so hard to get out of that situation and be like, I wasn't meaning to touch your boob. Well, you did. They have a good scene and super bad about that. It's just never easy. He just punches her in the boob. Oh, he punches her in the boob, yeah.

There is nothing like trying to talk your way out of accidentally touching a woman's breast. It's like, my hand was over here and then your boob was there. And then there was direct finger to nipple the connection. I think you just have to say sorry, I touched your boob. I took the train right to Ariola Town. Not, don't say that. Yeah. Don't say that.

It was an accident. I think you, I think stating it helps unless maybe if you don't know the person at all, just don't say anything. That's one of the many. But you know them like enough. You don't say anything. Anything like if you're on a subway and I'm reaching for a, for a pole and I accidentally honk someone's tit, I don't say anything. Well, maybe if you're like meeting someone for the first time and like going to shake their hand and shake their poop instead. I think I would not say anything. But if it was like a friend or a friend like an acquaintance, I would be like, oh, sorry. I touched you. That is such a curbinger enthusiasm episode. I'm shocked he hasn't done that. Like trying to like the whole episode is like, he's like, eh, I didn't want to say anything. Like it's like I didn't know her. So and the whole whole thing is like she's walking around town. putting up flyers of the man who touched her boob.

Right. And like he's going into a room and they're like, you're disgusted. Right. That is a good. That would be a good episode. They kind of did that with the pants tent. Oh my God. Similar but not the same.

Those episodes like when you watch now, I'm saying this with no malice. Those episodes like are pretty templatized. I think now that like it's on season 106, they're all following the same template. It's like the, I mean, but I love the template. Yeah, that's great. I would never want it to end. No, it's so funny. There was a time at some season where I was like, he's kind of abrasive.

Like it's kind of, I know that's his whole thing. There's time I was like, he's kind of disagreeable. Oh my God. Really? Yeah, where I started to lose, I lose myself. I was like, I think I'm like not on Larry's side. Oh, that's scary. Did you get back on?

I got back on. I'm on, I'm team Larry now. Oh, good. Okay. Okay. You ready for the next one? Yeah. I'm not a porn addict.

I'd rather be a shopaholic than a sex addict. That is a wild ride. That could be anyone. I'm not a porn addict. I'd rather be a shopaholic than a sex addict. I do think it's you. I think it's you when you were getting your accountant. And he was looking through your charges.

God, you're right, Brooke. That was a great connection made. Yeah, it was me. That was horrible to refresh everybody's memory. If you haven't heard this story, like I got this new accountant. And then obviously first things first, he has to go through the books. The books. By the way, like any, the bucks include Venmo.

So anytime you're, anytime you're vimowing someone and you put some ridiculous thing, he's going to have to go through and say, well, this one hundred dollars for sloppy topy, like, what was that? And I was like, that was lunch. It was a lunch. A place called sloppy toppy top. It's, yeah, we were at sloppy topy's pizzeria on South, South Street. But he was going through the.

books and like my first charge was for only fans taking out of context that's tough to hear right but it was because it was someone I had met that's better it was someone well no that like is better or worse but it's weird living in LA like I've met several people that have only fans and they operate as as they I guess as they should so you were just doing research it was one of those people where I was like I need to see yeah totally know those what we're doing yeah behind the paywall totally I need to know I have subscribed to so many people's only fans for research, curiosity purposes. Yeah, me too.

Like, you know, the whole vampire track, like all of those kind of people that I fixate on from TikTok that are characters, I subscribe to their only fans to see what they're up to. You're subscribing to only fans on a strictly need-to-know basis. Yeah. Need to know. What are we showing? Exactly. What are we doing?

Yeah, research. What are you doing on there? Research. Research. For research purposes, especially in our field of work. Yeah. Doesn't hurt to look. It doesn't.

Okay. Okay. You want to read it? Something about that high pitch makes me want to move and groove. That is Brooke. Alvin and the chipmunks, huh? Yeah. Move and groove.

Yeah, I remember you saying that. I said it. Yep. That's that girl. She's that girl. I'm, oh God. This is a big boy. This could be.

Go ahead. I want you to read this one. This reads like one of our ads that we were. I'm either going to faint, throw up or shit my pants and the human body is so amazing and capable of so many things. things because I was able to do all three at once. I've never, I've never done that. I for sure have, so it's got to be me.

That's funny. Wait, can we read it again? I want to read it this time. I'm either going to faint or throw up or shit my pants and the human body is so amazing and capable of so many things because I was able to do all three at once. When did? I wonder which time. Oh, I know when that.

It was when I green horned it. Yeah. Oh my God. You had to throw away the trash can. I know. That was not fun. Everyone kind of has that like I was shitting and throwing up in between my legs story except me, which is crazy that I've never had that.

It's really remarkable, especially when you're unconscious as well. Your body's just kind of like autonomous at that point. So, so. You're coming like you're in and out. And I just everyone was still there watching the film in the next room and I'm thinking like how how will they ever know that I'm passing? at this time. That would be, Brooke, that would be so gross to find your body in there.

Oh, that would suck. And then I left the bathroom with the trash can in my hands, not saying anything, left the house. Yeah, okay. Oh, my gosh. Was that Patrick's house? And you had to buy him a new trash can. Yeah, I did.

Oh, that's so tough. I need your finger in my mouth right now or in your ass. That's you, but why? I need, no, that is you, Brooke. I need your finger in my mouth right now. or in your ass what are these options that's not me i need your finger your finger and i'm going to count to three if your finger is not in in your ass or my mouth there's going to be blood shed that was you i don't say that i don't i'm not that gross i wouldn't brooke you i'm sorry can we go back to her last

quote they're going to find my dead body in a in a bottle of poop and throw up that is the words that you just said. I need your finger in my mouth or your ass. I'm like poop gross, but I feel like this is more sexual gross. I need your finger in my mouth right now or in your eyes. I can't even read this without laughing. I'm going to go you. This lighting is making me hot right now. No, it's you. No. Okay. This is going to be where we drink. Yeah. Okay. Oh. What was the context of, what was the context of me asking for Brooks? You're talking about, um, like having nurse friends and you were saying like oh i want oh i'm going to stick their finger in my mouth but brooke was talking about how she had something on your ass and you're like or in your case your ass

huh you were remember that you pulled your pants down for your doctor friend oh it must have been this in that conversation i need your fingers in my mouth right now or in your ass or in your ass in your case. Oh, something was wrong with my... A hemorrhoid. Oh my God. I didn't know you had a hammeroid. Yeah, you did. I've talked about it. I'm not gross though. I need your finger right now in my mouth or

your ass. That's like so funny to me. Okay, classic me. Who knew? I hope this isn't over soon, is it? I'm having so much fun. I could do this for the rest of my life. The rest of my life. Keep spitting today. What? I keep spitting. No.

I know that this is me. But you can read it. Yeah. I did kiss a beluga whale. Call it bestiality. It was beastiality. It was magical and I'll remember it until the day I died. Yeah, that's me.

Yeah. I do remember that beluga fondly. We have a picture of it. I am mad at my parents like me and all fuck SeaWorld until the day I die. But that experience at SeaWorld with that beluga, cherishing it. You said that same thing in that quote. No. Weird.

Way. Weird. You only have so many dots. One can only have so many sentences and words. You can say, I worry about us sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. I worry.

That we're going to tap out. That we're going to end up like, we'll hit our Macs. History repeats itself. Like we're going to just start the podcast over. From sex, you're in Eminem. From like, no, what is the word we always used to say that we could never say? Like when we were like respectfully? No.

Can I stop? Stop why? Can I stop twiddling with my mic? It's making the loudest squealing. Like, no, what are things, evolutionary area? Oh, yeah. We always used to talk about evolution. Yeah.

If we get back to a place where we're talking about evolution, like every other sentence we need to be euthanized. Okay. Sounds good. Mark my words. Or lobotomized. Your pick. Can you look up men's urethras and women's urethras are the same size? Can you look up if men's urethra's and women's urethraiser?

are the same side. That's going to be you. I feel like that's something I'd wonder about for sure. No, they're different because we have a penis. So? It comes out. Like, ours comes out from our body. But ours is still, we still have one that's there. I know, but ours is extended by the penis's length. So it's objectively. Oh, I think I'm just talking about the hole. Oh. I guess I'm talking about the urethra is like the tube, right, that we pee out of? I'm talking about the width of the opening of the urethra rather than the length of the urethra. The hole. Yeah, I'm not talking about the hole.

Oh, you're going whole mode. Yeah. I had no idea. Okay, well. When I think of urethra, I think of hole. I don't. I think of tube. Okay.

DSDF. I think of tubing down the lazy river. Love lazy rivers. Yeah. That is one thing that me and you should do one day is go down a lazy river. Can we do an episode from a lazy river? It feels like you would get bored. I'm, that's probably the one place in the world that I will relax is in a lazy river.

Okay, let's do it. Because you're not doing anything, but you're getting somewhere until you go, until you get back to where you started. Right. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. And I'll always think of lazy rivers fondly because I had one horrible rash that would only go away if I was in the lazy river. It was bonkers. Weird. You would think it's the opposite. Can't imagine how many people ended up getting that rash that were also in the lazy river with me. Wait, you're saying the rash went away It would go away

In the river Yeah Okay I think this is me It is you Yeah Oh there's more I lied

There's like 10 more Oh thank God Oh my God That really works Like now I'm so excited Right Yeah That's called something

That it is Foot in the door technique or something I just read a whole book about it You read a happiness quotient No the happiness quotient That's not what it's called though it's called something it's like like foot in the door technique where you like you went no it's not at all it's not at it's the point someone just to get their hopes up even higher no you like

so like if i were to hit your car in the parking lot which i almost you're not going to be able to get in your door i'm so park so close to you i have to get in passenger side um if i were to hit your car and i'm like i am so sorry like i i messed up your bumper it's horrible and then you go out and it's just a You'd be like I'm not even mad about this right because you think that it was your bumper right But it is like if I would have been like I scratched your car and you walk out and it's like yeah There's a scratch. It'd be like foot in the door technique. Yeah Don't quote me on that. Yeah We can just call out that regardless if it doesn't what it's matter. Okay, I don't have a lawyer

I have an attorney is that the same thing that's for sure me it stands that stands are they? Yeah Yeah, I bet we didn't even look that one up no I think I think that was something that I got like a thousand DMs about a la like um dolly parton mode allah that's good so yeah they are the same thing and it was me wow i could have seen that one going either way honestly because i don't know the answer i think the fact that i do know the answer oh means it was me because i took it personally okay you want me to read this one yeah i can't even look at the screen i want to make sure if i'm hosting a tapeworm he's eating good we're getting sweet green for lunch we're going to keep you healthy that's you brook that better not be me that's you i think it's brook no oh i'm positive it's you

oh why would i ever say that we were doing a full tape warm segment you don't eat sweet green do you i do but it's like you definitely eat it more i'm gonna drink on that one yeah that's disgusting why would i ever say that oh well yeah i wish you could be inside of my body is that you yeah that is you. A classic. Yeah. I'm just telling you guys. Context is everything. No, 10%. Like, this is bananas. What's happening over here to me. Oh, wait. I'm kind of jealous. I'm feeling warm. I'm feeling happy. Um, not a ton, honestly, but it's like, it's probably to hear I'm almost half. I do want to highlight, and this is news to me, while there is no sugar, this is only 190 calories. And there's, this is where it throws me off a little bit.

1.6 servings as if I'm going to drink over half and then put this in the fridge for tomorrow. You never know. Some people might. An open can? I don't know. It's not carbonated. I guess two servings would just be like way too much and one serving. Oh, it's not carbonated.

It is not carbonated. Corny can drink these. And I don't like carbon. Now. You don't like carbon? Brooke's gone completely carbon neutral. I don't like bubbles. Brooke is carbon negative.

I've always been. You know I don't like bubbles. It hurts my throat. That's okay. Yeah. That's why I made this drink non-carbonate. Thank you. With you in mind.

Is anyone else's ears popping out the wazoo? Not right now. I feel like I'm taking off in an airplane. Not right now. I hope that's not a side effect of. of heavy drinking. No. Of heavy drinking on set.

There are no side effects. By the time this comes out, I will have announced my spring tour stand-up shows. That's what I was going to tell you guys. That's what I was working on all day. I have so much respect for graphic designers. Graphic design is not my passion.

And I had tried to find a font today, and it took me three hours to find a font. Because you know when you're looking up a font, you have to be like, cool vibes. Describe a font. hard uh funky western like you have to go in like that describe a color you almost made my head fall off when you said that like that's that's mind-blowing but describe an emotion i want to show you my poster spooky huh i don't want to you're kind of

giving me the panic attack the question oh sorry describe a woman name for one dollar $1. Oh. Look, it's... I know, it's so cute. It's very Juno-esque. I know, I'd love it. I found that font.

Oh, wait, let me see the cities. Oh, yeah. You can read them off if you feel... Okay. Seattle? Yeah. Oh, I want to go to... I've never been to the Pacific Northwest.

I have a friend flying out for that one, a close childhood friend. Okay. She'll be the only person there, so you should come. Okay. It'll be fun for you guys. Seattle, Portland, San Francisco. Philadelphia. I might go.

That would be fun if you came. And then I could go see like the main line. Yeah. Oh my God. That would be so fun. And I could see where Silver Lightings Playbook was filmed. Oh my God. We'll go to the diner.

Brooke. Okay. Maybe I'll fly out. Brooke. I'm soaked. Okay. Soaked or stoked? Did I say soaked?

I don't know. I think you said so. Oh, I meant stoked. Brooklyn. Phoenix. Chicago. That'll be fun. I have to redeem myself in Chicago.

Nashville. Washington, D.C. Boston. Denver. That's all great. You're not going anywhere down south. I'm going to add a Texas show. Oh, that could be fun. Austin? Either Houston or Austin. I don't know because these dates or these cities were picked by people commenting on my Instagram come here and then we vetted. Boston, I think, will be a fun one. I love Boston. You know, I haven't been back. Oh my God. I forgot that you went to college of Boston. I've lived there for four years. I completely had

spaced. I don't think I could go back. Do you think I'd be? Only at Boston? Oh, you hate college. I hated BU so much. And BU's campus is just Boston that they're the same to me. That is bonkers. So I would really have to do some hardcore exposure therapy and reclaiming. Exposure therapy would be.

And reframing. Reframing, reclaiming exposure. What I have to do for songs. I will say I love Brookline. What's that? It's just like a suburb right next to Boston, which is where I did all my student teaching. And I loved their senior year. And that's sweet.

It's sweet there. That's cool. I want to go look around Boston. Oh, go to Brookline. Okay. Yeah. Look at a book line. Okay.

A lot of really good like delis in Brookline. Oh my God, I'm so hungry. You guys want to know what I ate today? Because I'm disgusting. I went to Chick-fil-A. Yeah. And I got three spicy chicken biscuits. So here's the thing.

Not to like circle back immediately to bowel movements. But no worry. What the hell? Do you guys have that with Chick-fil-A? Have what? It gives me the worst stomach-ache, no in demand. Oh, Lucas, Luke is drinking something from Chick-fil-A. I had a Diet Coke, too.

I'm not loving treating myself to a Diet Coke every now and then. As if I'm not, like, gross all the time, I'd, like, treat myself to a Diet Coke. It's hard for me to say if there's a specific place that gives me a stomach-cake, because it's mostly every place. It's hard to hone in. If I can't, if I don't learn self-control soon around Chipotle bowls, that's not one meal. That's three. Like, we're being honest.

My Chipotle bowl is fully health food. Yeah. Because I just get chicken, pehita veggies, salsa, corn and guac. I don't get any sour cream. I don't get any cheese. You don't get cheese? Not a cheese girl. Eust.

I crave. I pulled over on. on my 14-hour drive from Idaho into a Walmart in Provo, Utah to get a bag of shredded cheese to eat like chips. Oh, Connor, did you know Provo was my Spotify Rhapsody? Oh my God. That is such a musical centric town, I feel like.

I guess. What? I just ate the mic a little. Apparently, that's where the Tick-Tick-Boon listeners are. Which, like, why wouldn't they be in New York? Provo seems appropriate. I don't know. Should we keep going?

Yeah. this is me this is you I'm always talking about the A-listers A-listers need to act like A-listers or else they're just like us

Facts Yeah That's you Never meet your heroes Is another way to say this Have you met anyone That you're like Wow I wish I wouldn't have met them

Every single person that I've met No but like in a In a bad way Like You're like oh that just ruined them No I ruined it So I had a hunch about Ashton Cocher

When I met him And then look at him now yeah you did say that he's canceled i believe no i think everyone i've met shockingly has been for like pretty awesome eh well offline he's an apologist so yeah everyone i've met has been pretty awesome it's been me that's been like psycho oh your experience is bad but not because of them because of me it's a me problem that's very mature of you to say I feel like I've been pretty open about not wanting to be in the room with a celebrity because of my my behavior You have because like with Matthew like he was

Sweetest guy in the world me I'm sure he felt you're screaming and dearing Jonathan Groff sweetest guy in the world me horrible Nathan Fielder actually I don't know about him too much and I didn't say anything The way that I know that I wish I was never in any of those rooms Oh my gosh you've met all of your heroes almost except for one I don't want to say it I'm gonna just Just in case.

Just in case. Except for one. Oh, oh my God. That would be like really the worst. I hear Wonka. I hear Wonka talking. No, he won't be there.

I think you might get a golden ticket. And Andrew Garfield's pantalones. Don't say his name here. I'm too scared. Oh my gosh. I had something so important to tell you. Never mind. Couldn't have been that important.

What do you do every day to honor Steve Irwin? Good question. Yeah. That's you, right? Yeah. Yeah. It feels powerful to me. That is a powerful statement from a powerful little woman.

No. We should be a P swap. Sorry, we should do. We should do a P swap episode. That has to be you. No. Yeah. You're so focused on pee.

I'm not focused on pee. You're very pee-heavy. Brooke, I'm not pee-heavy. You are always talking about pee. You either have to pee, you peat in your hydro flask. You can drink your peevee. pee you're always going on about pee I'm not always going on about pee

you are who was this you who the hell said this you wanted to pee swap because I told you that it's safer to drink somebody else's pee instead of your own after you were speaking about pee to begin with yeah and then you said this we should do a pea swap episode yeah drink up buttercup

oh my god I need to get a tan I am so fugly without a tan you ever put on clothes and you're like, whoa, ew, gross, what the fuck? Yeah. And then you're like, oh, it's because I'm not tan. Sometimes. Tanning really, if you can't tone it, tan it.

If you can't tone it, tan it. Nothing will ever be funnier now that we're reminiscing than when Brooke let me try her self-tanning drops. And I did like way too many. Well, it said use 3 to 12. Connor used 15. I wanted to be really bronzed. And so I did it.

And then I was like drinking water. and so I had lines from where I dripped and from crying I guess I had lines here as well it looks like a school project it looked like a tiger it was so bad and I was still moving forward with making TikToks in the worst state

I've ever looked right I remember that I had not gotten a haircut in ages I was chubb to the moon no you were not Brooke my neck was touching my earlobe like there was no definition but there's still really not but it was a tough look that was when you and I sat

at a bus stop for like an hour and we didn't even talk we weren't on our phones we were just looking out into the world that was when we moved here and we had gotten Airbnb and then it turns out the Airbnb

was not real so we just lived on the street basically for five days no the Airbnb was real it was just horrific it looked like a haunted house it looked like someone had definitely been murdered there

they didn't clean There was truly a tainted knife. There was a knife in my bed. I don't know what was on the knife, but it was something bad. Something sinister. It was on the knife. Yeah. So, miss it.

Okay, should we do... Oh my God, there's so much. What should we do next, Izzy? We do the pop quiz. Okay. Let's do pop quiz. Yeah, we can do pop quiz. I love pop quizzes.

So this is everything that we've talked about, like subject-wise. Oh, like, oh, fun. Did you make this? I used a template. Oh, my God, you're so talented. No, that is the time for. Wait, do you guys remember really quick? That one website where you made like flashcards and it would like zoom out and zoom really far in?

Yeah. What is that? It's not. It's not quiz lit. Yeah, I think it is. No, it's not. Oh, I'm saying a quick. It's like Tudor or something. Prezzi?

Prezzi. Prezzi was a beast that I was never able to wrangle. Mm-mm. And it made me so upset because no matter how. Like all these people had all these cool prezies Prezzi or Rezzi? Prezzi. All these people had all these cool presys

and I was like, I'm just like, like Prezzi is just not in my skill set. It was so hard. It was a tough not to swallow. Anyways. I was trying to say something for like three seconds just then and couldn't. I mean, it just seemed like you were like gonna bully me.

No, I was not at all. I was gonna say something like understanding and empathetic about you not being able to use Prezzi. Well, you're, you're, You're trying to figure out what the safe face was, was intimidated. No, like truly, I was stuck in my own body for a second. Oh, I hate that.

Yeah, okay. Let's move on. B&C Pop Quiz. Ooh. What does NATO stand for? Who did, I just talked about this with Matt King on his podcast three days ago. Oh, no, Brooke. I'm so sorry.

You shouldn't have said that. And I don't remember it. I couldn't tell you if I had a gun to my head. National? It's not national. Mm. Mm. Mm.

N. Nation. Nations. Nations. Alliance. A is Alliance. Alliance. Alliance Treaty organization.

Treaty organization. Something. National Alliance treaty organization. No, it's not. NATO. Nations all treaty. Niche. Nish.

Nash. What's the N? North. North. North Atlantic Treaty Organization. I'd be you. Very good. Is that it?

Yeah. North was a good guess. Which Green Brother does science? I'll give that to you. Hank. Yeah, very good. Ooh, book, this one's yours. I know the answer.

Who's Mary Magdalene? I remember we were confused if she was Jesus' mom or a different woman. You're warm. She's... Is she not the Virgin Mary? She is the Virgin Mary. So, yeah, Jesus' mom. Yeah?

Is she or she? She's a different. She's a different. Mary? How many virgins are there in this room? I don't, I think she's the one that's, is she's the one that's not a virgin. Yeah.

She's not, she's non-verge. Oh my gosh, whore. Ooh, I should not have said that. I'm so sorry. I'm like really regretting that. Oh my God, I'm eating my words. No, I think that's what people like thought of her though.

No, no, no. Okay, I need to like go back. I'm sorry for saying that. I'm not offended. I am. shut up Mike you don't understand how loud as squeaky Mike is I can't stop touching it

okay well she was like a what's the what is it the word for horror but that not that's not horror like Harlet is that word prostitute no no no back in the day she was like she was like known as a countess

the countess the countess Mary that's better who no but what should have said that so she was the woman who traveled with Jesus as one of his followers and was a witness to his crucifion and resurrection. Right. So were they hooking up? No, no, no. Jesus is a virgin as well. Since when? No, he's not. Jesus is a virgin. I don't think so. I'm not saying that in a derogatory way.

Jesus is a virgin was virgin. Is a virgin? Oh, dude, no. It's funny. Is that in the Bible? Jesus was the coolest virgin ever. He's like a ripped virgin. How do you know he's a virgin? Does it say that? I don't think it discusses. his sexual activity. He was unmarried. So? And sex outside of marriage is a sin. But they did it. They did it, though. Also, it wasn't a sin yet. People killed people too. The Bible wasn't alive yet, was it? I don't know. I don't know. Like, Mary, we got the answer. We need to leave Mary alone. Why did I pinch both of my nipples when I said, we need to leave Mary alone? The Bible gave no hint that Mary was Jesus's wife. Oh, so why does everyone say that she's a loose woman? I don't know what to call her That's appropriate I'm sorry Don't call Mary Magdalene

A loose woman I don't know what to say We're gonna get in so much trouble I don't know what to say about her then Oh my gosh Okay well we love her Oh my God none of this has been said With an ounce of malice

We stand Mary Magdalene Like huge Mary Magdalene pod When we start talking about Christianity Like we lose it Wait but my So why did people think they were hooking up? Because she followed him around everywhere. I think there was something in the Bible where she was...

Did she lie? That she was like a woman of the night. She was woman of the night. Well, Jesus was not one to judge. Not my man. Jesus said to... Okay. Do not cling on...

Oh, geez. He literally called her stage five clinger. Do not cling on to me because I have not yet ascended to my father, your father. My God, your God. So Mary Magdalene went and told me. the disciples that she had seen the Lord and that he had said these things to her. You guys want to hear my favorite quote from the Bible? I have the verse memorized.

Yeah. Wait, can we Google it actually? Second Kings 2.23. Oh my God. You're religious. This is, I have had this memorized since I went to Christian camp. New King James, please. Okay.

No, I want to read it because I don't want to butcher it. then he went up from there to Bethel and as he was going up the road some youths came from the city and mocked him and said, go up, you bald head. Go up, you bald head. So he turned around, looked at them

and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord and two female bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youths. Okay. Oh my way, the Bible is crazy. And there is so much to unpack here because one, baldhead out. It's not his fault.

He has a receding hairline. So this isn't, this is the New Testament? Fact. So this wouldn't be in the Torah. No. Okay. But the thing about this is like, okay, they're making fun of me. Malled by two female bears.

See ya. Bye. No, God did that. He called a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And then you get down to like, okay, it's not that serious. You didn't need to send two female bears to maud these youths. Uh-huh. But then you read a little bit further, 42 people calling you baldhead.

Shick the bears on them. 42 out of how many. I love calling people youths. If you're getting bullied by 40 plus people, bears are always the answer. Very cool. This was good to know. Get the bears. What is the name of that verse?

Second Kings 223. Second Kings 23. Kind of rolls off the tongue too. Locking that in my brain. Yes. Okay. Name the operation in which there is surgical severance of nerve fibers connecting the front. Lobotomy?

Ooh. I said that already this episode. Lobotomy. Oh, fuck. Define the ozone layer. I can do it. Okay. You're good at you're better.

Protective layer of the atmosphere. Protect us from UV and other range. You're very good at the ozone layer. Oh, okay. Cool. Nailed it. It is probably in Antarctica. Ooh, Brooke.

That's tough. What type of sushi is safe to eat while you're supposed? pregnant? Yellowtail. Not yellow tail, not salmon? Shrimpura because it's cooked. Oh. That's what I meant.

You're not supposed to eat any raw fish. Whoa, I had the best. Sashimi the other day. I've just now stopped panicking when I order Sashimi versus sushi. Sashmi's no rice. Wait, what was the other? Sashmi's no right. And then there's Nogiri?

Nogiri. I've just now stopped panicking when I order Sashimi versus Nogiri. Sushi and Nogiri are the same. It's all sushi. I think that's an umbrella term. But I think also sushi's technically the fish on rice. On rice. Fish on rice. Yeah. A cut roll is like a sushi roll. That's like a sushi roll. Yeah. Sushi roll. But Nogiri is fish on rice. Yeah. And then and then the, uh, sashimi is just a fish. We're just in a fish ball right now. So what did you have? I had Sashimi at this place called Dudley Market. in Venice Beach, has anyone been? No. That is, the atmosphere of that place is heavenly.

It's like, you feel so cool in there. And they let you, as you wait for your table, you wait on the sidewalk, and you can order wine and drink in the street. And with all of the other people waiting for tables. It's like very New York. I had no idea, honor. Yeah. And there's this homeless guy that lives right across from it.

And he has an ox and plays great music on his JBL. Okay, I'll have to go. Yeah. It's so good. And by the way, pitch black at night. Fun. Like it is, they have no lights on in the facility. I don't even know how they see when they bring you your stuff.

Oh, there's three lights. I see them in the picture. But it was like pitch black at our table. Very cool. A lot of first dates. A lot of first dates there. And I love seeing people on a first date. That's fine.

I almost lose the conversation that I'm supposed to be having at the table because I am, I am at this first date right now. I'm not at dinner with my friends. I'm at this first date. what a blessing it is when two people meet for the first time totally how are you feeling i can't stop talking i know i've noticed that's a good good thing we have a podcast thank thank god thank mary magdalen for being a loose woman of the night yeah not my words and by the way there's nothing wrong with that yeah there's not a flashlight damn thing yeah what animal has a childlike sense

of play dolphin no no no no no It's you were talking about. Octopus! No, Connor, it was the thing in Russia that you were talking about. I don't talk about Russia ever. What? A crow. A crow.

A crow. Oh, I'm embarrassed. You should be. You were addicted to the crows. I'm still addicted to crows. I'm just going to forget about him like that. Can we see the, I'll pull it up later, I guess. I need to look something up about crows, actually, because now there's a new one in my neighborhood,

and he's got a huge head. Like, he needs a hat. He needs a little hat. He needs a ball cap. I could crochet him something. Oh my gosh. I wish we could give him a little hat. Yeah.

Damn. I'll take a bit. Okay. So that's a raven, right? Oh my gosh. Is that real? Is that a real crow and a hat? Oh my God.

This changes everything. If you are looking to follow a crow account on Instagram, Charlie the crow is really good and informative. Okay. Yeah. who's Leif Eriksen? Yep. Leif Erickson is the Viking. Yeah.

Happy Leaf Erickson's Day, by the way. We got to put that in our cow. You've read my mind. When is Leif Erickson's Day? October 9th, we missed it. Remind me to celebrate Leif Erickson's Day on October 8th of next year. How about to do it the 9th? Well, I want to remember.

I can forget by the time you get to the 9. No, I'll have to go out and get groceries and stuff on the 8th. What kind of groceries do you get for Lee Farrickson's day? Like meats? I can see that. Like a large ham? I feel like more like a roast beef. I don't know though.

You guys hearing that? Chopper. Oh, a chopper. My gosh, I hate the helicopters. They're always hanging around my house. I've been very convinced recently that like any chopper, any police car, any sort of... I know what you're going to say. They're coming to get me.

Oh, I didn't think you're going to say that. What'd you think? That it's Russia or China. Oh, no. I just am like, oh, they finally caught me. I literally, the other day, it was a Sunday, and I was like, get these damn helicopters away from the house and went out to see what they were looking at, because they always shine spot lights. And it's like on my street. And I'm like, get his ass. Get his ass. Get boots on the ground. Get out of your helicopter and get him. Get, we have cars on the road.

Hit him if he's running that fast. My bad. But I went out to look and there's a line of light so high up in the sky. They're like not drones and it was like 17 of them going out towards the ocean and I was like we're being invaded. I didn't even have a hesitation in my mind I was like we're being invaded it was me by myself in my house I was like

well this is it. That would suck to be alone when you're being invaded. I was like well this is it I poured myself the biggest glass of wine that's ever existed and I drank it and I pino bombed it and just why waste any time dump it? We're being invaded. Why waste any time? I'm not

I'm not being invaded sober. Right. If we're going down, let me finish my glass of wine. Let me finish my glass of wine before we go down. Do you mind pausing for a second? Yeah, wait. Oh my God.

Not you. I'm just talking about the invaders. Can you guys actually hang on? Hang on. I'm still working on this. Hold on. I know you're invading. We're all invading in our own way.

Let me finish my wine. Yeah. They would understand. I think they would. Yeah. Have you seen the invading? of the congressman who was trying to explain why they couldn't add another artillery like another base the military base on Guam because he was scared it's

gonna sink no can we can we please Google it very quickly you need to see this video okay can you recap it again for me there's oh wait no I think it was a army general that was like explaining in Congress we cannot add another military base on Guam it will tip over and capsize is that true it's an island it's It's on the ground. An island... Can we pull up... Is the video on here?

Oh, it is absolutely bananas who's in charge of this country all the time. Yeah. He's worried that Guamalcapsize, of course. Anderson Cooper, we don't talk about him enough. He's great. It took place last week

in a House Armed Services Committee hearing discussing a military buildup on the... Yes. Here's Georgia Congressman Hank Johnson. Oh, yeah. This is an island that at its widest level is, what, 12 miles from shore to shore, and at the smallest level or smallest location, it's seven miles between This is how I found on the podcast.

This is the speed at which I talk. I don't have the exact dimensions, but to your point, sir, I think Guam is a small island. Very small island in about 24 miles, if I recall, long. 24 miles long, about seven miles wide at the least widest place on the island in about 12, miles wide on the widest part of the island and

I love him he's trying to hit the word count that is do you happen to know I don't have that figure with me sir I can certainly supply it to you if you'd like someone Google it my fear is that

the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize. We don't anticipate that. The island,

you don't, like in Hawaii, Hawaii's not going to tip over. I guess it's not going to tip over, but what if it, like, sinkholes? I guess that's not what causes a sinkhole. He's scared that it's going to tip over a ship. Yeah, I understand his fear. Like a ship and,

I'm trying to get in his head, but it's hard. I don't know the context of what they were talking about But I think that like maybe He was He was trying to kill time They do that a lot right in Congress Please, Brooke, please get it Please please please please

Jimmy Jerrymandering Philandering It's not Jerrymandering Philibusters Philibusters Philibuster! Yes I only know that from Parks and Rec What a way to close out the 100th episode

Is Brooke figuring out the word filibuster question. Oh. How many touches does it take? One. And with that, happy 100. Happy 100, everybody. Don't do it again. Don't do it again. Okay, I won't. I don't even want to. It's horrible. Oh, Jesus Christ. I think one went down my throat. Why did I not learn the first time? I'm really, really sorry. I want to send it. I want to send it to close friends. Let's head over to close friends. Oh, Jesus, guys. I wish that you could see the mess that I made in the... It's actually not even touching the ground, like half of it.

It's actually all stuck all over all of our supplies. Are you out? Are you checked out? I'm totally gone. Brooke is out. Brooke's out. I'm on my phone. We love you guys.

Thank you so much for listening. Love you. Please stay with us forever. Bye. This week, I'm close friends. No, I feel too scared. Right it. Brooke, write it.

It feels too much. It feels too much too soon. Right it, write it, write it, write it, write it. No wonder two wolves are humping inside of you. That's insane. You are like a little gross today. Oh, bitch, I know that you're not done. I know that you're not done.

I'm like, why? I don't know why. I was like, I just kind of make sure. Believe women. Like, I stepped in poop. Sign up on TMG Studios. TV to watch a full bonus episode.