Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Connor Nobrows and Brooke Noseforward Get High

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwp...r This week, Brooke and Connor get silly and talk about their flaky Darwin’s tubercle, Spongebob’s lost episode, and doing full frontal on the podcast. Plus, they ask each other 36 questions to fall in love.  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code BNC for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BANDC Shop Brooke’s favorite bras and underwear at http://www.skims.com/bnc  #skimspartner Use code BNC for 15% off at https://barebells.com Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm to Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 Live from the Cann 4:55 Tristan & Channing’s Song 9:25 Monsterbate Romances 12:36 Animals in Human Form 17:30 Willie’s Remedy  19:05 Rocket Money 21:02 Max as a Person 23:58 One Second a Day 26:55 Calculus  30:08 The Lost Episode 35:27 Cheeks Out 39:29 Skims 40:36 Barebells 41:34 Hello Fresh 43:16 Bathing Suit Down 45:58 Pazuzu 51:24 Falling in Love 1:01:40 Being 30 Forever 1:05:44 Treasured Memories 1:10:45 See You in Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope.
Starting point is 00:00:24 It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Visit Red Bull.com slash Bright Summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. The thing about Cannes is that I haven't had one in a long time. Right. So I think it's going to, it's, that's why it's hit me hard and fast. But if I remember, they kind of fade fast as well. They come in really hot and yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:01:20 They burn bright. They burn bright. So we'll be okay. Why can't something burn bright in for a long time? We have, I just, I said, it will explode on itself. Well, that's like the sun. But like I just. Sun will explode.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I know, it's disappointing. Disappoint. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. It is like you don't need to be so bright. I'm sweating. Maybe if you weren't burning so bright, you could, we'd drag this thing out a little bit.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Oh, how disappointing that the sun will be out one day. Woo! Changes the subject. Hurry. Flagging that Connor and I have chugged cans, the THC infused drink before this episode. And I worry for its quality. I don't.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Really? I know Mike, I know I can't inside and out, trust. I thought I did, man. I thought I knew. Because these are the little ones. Yeah, they're babies. And usually the little ones, like, I need two. But what happened today was I only needed a few sips for it to hit my empty stomach.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Well, I can't wait for everyone to hear the ads. That was, we recorded the ads before we recorded this. So this is post ads. I think you'll know. Well, I think you will hear little inklings. I'm going to move on from talking about it. Dude. What?
Starting point is 00:03:03 Why are you talking like a hippie? I have something a little gross to say. All right, man. What? We never talk about gross stuff. No, this is gross. Okay. My ears have been like really flaky this winter.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Like more than any other season. Was it a white Christmas? It's just like why my ears as opposed to any other? like my ears are as worse than my scalp what's like the inside your ear yeah you don't have just like ear crap I floss a lot alright um Q-tip a lot it's not like it's just like the skin of my ears like the outside not in the hole the outside not no no no no the outside of the inside what is this like this thing yeah what is it I guess it's it's it Should we look up parts of the ear?
Starting point is 00:04:00 No. Yeah, let's look at the part of the ear. I'll tell you what's flaking. Hang on, I did trivia. You want to hear something crazy? Do you know the part of your body? Your appendage that has the tiniest bones? Your nose?
Starting point is 00:04:13 Your ear. We're talking about ears right now. Oh, yeah. It has three tiny bones. My concha is so flaky. And not to mention my anthlex. Oh, my gosh. For me, it's my Darwin's turbicle.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Or it could be my intertragal notch. I can talk about the intertragal notch. So where are you guys going for spring break? Probably the Simba Concha and then we're going to make her way over to the Darwin's Turbicle for dinner. And we're going to take the helix. Why don't say like this is what the piercing should be called. Like I have the conch.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Oh, that's funny. It is called the conch piercing. Is it? I used to have a conch piercing. It's on the conchia. And that's the helix. There's a helix piercing. Is it really?
Starting point is 00:05:05 I actually genuinely, Jen on God, have my Darwin's turbicule pierce. And it should be called the Darwin's turbicil piercing. I don't like that. It sounds like you're, it sounds like a late stage disease.
Starting point is 00:05:21 There is a triangular, triangular fossa. I don't know why they had to go so hard with scientific names. Like outside, inside, soft. But it just seems like we shortened them.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Like, why couldn't we just, say lobeule instead of lobe lobe like it's not that hard that much harder to say lobe yule it's like that's kind of like almost an you're almost putting that like an accent on it lobe yule like philiac like home like lobe yeah it's like an extra thing lobe we can all agree on lobe yeah we'll always have lobe oh you're talking about like the general population not just me okay wait you have to hear tristan and channing song you want to talk sorry yeah let's do that wait that one's called wait can we go back to the you're so sorry.
Starting point is 00:06:01 The Metus? Where are you seeing the Mitis? The external auditory Mitis? Yeah. Metus? Yeah. Okay. They should call Dallie's Metus.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Okay. Sorry. Just to, can you explain this? I don't, so I know that Tristan and Chaining had written a song alongside Noelle. No. But that he helped with it? Not at all. Made up that.
Starting point is 00:06:29 I think it's just them. They just made a song with some producers. They wrote a song. And this is it. And this is it. It's called Always Been You. It's a Valentine's Day song. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:06:41 This is perfect. Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. We're pre-recording this. So my Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Mine too. Wow. So they recorded this in a studio? It's called Always Been You.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Did you say that? It is genuinely. I heard it for the first time this morning. morning. An incredible song. It sounds like a One Direction song. Let's hear it. I want to do this with you.
Starting point is 00:07:06 I don't know. Yeah. I don't mean to copy them, but I do want to do this exact thing. I mean, what did they say? Good artist copy, great artist steal. Yeah. I don't think we need to steal it, but I think we just need to make our own. I want to be in the studio.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Okay. Listen to this. Oh, laudy, here we go again. Doesn't it sound like One Direction? Yeah, like OG. Yeah. What the fuck? Like it's good?
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah, it's like funny. Like that it's do-to. Like that it's do-to. Until it's the end 100% I can't pretend Oh, good little hug This is my favorite part coming up It is good
Starting point is 00:08:33 Really good I think this is my favorite part The second stanza I really like Yeah And it's my first time living too Almost there. How great was that? My first time living two?
Starting point is 00:08:46 Is it all their like with sayings? Yeah, they're definitely interspers here. First, here's smart. My fat assuant. My fat assed through the seat. Oh, that's funny. Talk about the heat. How do you get the music for it?
Starting point is 00:09:21 Who did that? So we had a producer, right, the, like, music part of it. And then we went into the studio and wrote it. Is that not amazing? Yeah, that is amazing. What would you want? Like, to me, that's giving like country meets pop.
Starting point is 00:09:39 She's from Texas. Yeah. I can tell. Exactly. Giving that, like, and one direction. I think we should do. What is our sound? Rap.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Ah. How about your versus rap? Oh, my gosh. We could do like. We could literally. do Luda when I was 13. That's you and I'll be Justin. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:10:00 I like that. Okay. Oh, I love that shit. Oh, I like it too. Oh. So yeah, you'll do the rap first. So yeah, I will. What will, okay.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Perfect. And I'll do like a show tune and you come in with the rap. It could be really like, um, it could be really a mashup. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I do. I really like this.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Okay. Um, I wanted to flag really quickly. Yeah. Brooke is not doing the word we're putting a hold on the morning just temporarily hold on milking farm on milking farm but I did want to do you see what this says at the A monster bait romance? A monster bait romance? Yeah. Is that a play on words? I think it's play on words for masturbate and we
Starting point is 00:10:40 didn't catch that this was not like a Oh I knew she's she's tugging his She's tugging his chain oh baby I knew all along oh wow it took me a second But you saw that her she has a new book coming out I sent you yesterday Same author. It is... Oh, yeah. Let's see what it's called.
Starting point is 00:11:00 The young woman. Oh, moon-blooded breeding clinic. So the young... It's a monster bait romance. The young woman is spinning a wheel with a couple words on it. And it's just a... And it's a werewolf, which I am more comfortable with personally. Because it's more, they're more, a lot more human.
Starting point is 00:11:16 But someone said I need to face my prejudice. I would just say, if you look at this, like this Minotaur has my, you know, my dream my minutear prejudice my dream body but it just goes to show you that like no i'm not going to say what i was going to say it yeah it's like weird say it no i'm like i was going to say that the the minotaur was a butter face but like we don't know like what's attractive to their standards don't you do you ever think that this i wanted to talk to you about this last night what um first of i was going to say do you ever think like our animals like that he's hot like in the animal world like he's hot i think i think i think It's like, like cat on cat, like he's hotter than him.
Starting point is 00:11:58 And we don't know what their beauty standards are. We talked about this. We're reverse engineering a conversation that we had. What was the conversation? Evolution. And who benefits from being, like, no one benefits from, there's no evolution airy. Yes, there is. Reason for someone to be ugly.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Yeah, there is. I just figured it out. What is it? There needs to be tears. Like, you can't all be going for the same people. Oh. It's a population thing. like if we were all going wait hold on for me i had it so if everyone i'd call it so clearly and it slipped
Starting point is 00:12:31 through my grass if everyone was at 10 is that did you say it slipped through your rack it slipped through my cracks i'm sorry i had it on the tip of my tongue but it slipped through my rack if everyone was a 10 it'd be like a free for all it's confusing it's like that episode of the fairly hot parents where everyone's a gray blob it's like who do we go for it's like you don't then it's all based on personality yeah then you'd all want the same people because you want the people the good person We have to be broken up into groups. No, I feel like I'm doing pro-segregation right now and it's not what I mean at all. I want to stop.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Here's what I want to do. I want to stop talking right now. Okay. And I want to come back to, I don't think I ever had a grasp on what I was trying to say. I appreciate you letting me try. And I don't think, I don't think that I don't believe in segregation at all. You made that very. I want to be very clear about one thing.
Starting point is 00:13:25 None of us are sure. I want to go back to a few minutes ago when we didn't have this conversation. Before that, we were talking about would you rather fuck a dog or a cow? Here's what I remember I was going to say. You want to go back to that? Do you ever like with Max's? Yeah. Think about what he would look like in human form and have we had this conversation before?
Starting point is 00:13:43 I don't think about that with my dog, but I look at other dogs. I know exactly who you would be. I know exactly who Rob would be if he were a human. If he were to transform into a human, I know exactly. Did we talk about this? I don't know. Is he? I don't think we did.
Starting point is 00:14:02 I think we talked about Jack Black, like sorting people into cat and dog. Like Jack Black being a dog. Exactly. Yeah, it was a similar conversation. Well, I just believe that all dogs are boys and all cats are girls, regardless of their gender. I think all cats are boys now because mine are boys. Yeah. But I used to believe you.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Yeah. Do you want to hear who Rob is? Yeah. I don't know the actor's name. Can you look up the cast of knives out to Glass Onion? That is a good one. Oh, it's freaking incredible. Have you seen the third one?
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah, I didn't like it. Dave. Dave, Bautista. Bautista? That's Rob. You think your cat looks like Dave Bautista? If he were transformed into a human, yeah. Your cat is not a Bautista.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Yes, he is. And Jonathan is choice of mine. You are projecting a very sick and fantasy onto your cat. I don't have a fantasy. about Dave. Who did you, oh, you saw Dave in in Glass Onion. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:06 But I didn't have Rob then. So it wasn't crossing my mind, but I was thinking about Rob last night. I'm in the same boat trying to post an Instagram story. It's like it's been since we started recording. It's like 14 minutes. I haven't posted it. I'm able to try and imagine
Starting point is 00:15:18 what it looked like for me to try and post my tour announcement. I know. After my can. A few minutes ago. 14 minutes ago, I did that. Yeah, that's that is that not who Rob would be if the fairy if a fairy godmother turned him a new human? No, he looks like that guy you went to high school with.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Who? How would I know? He does not look like anyone I went to high school. Yeah, he looks like, um, not corn sweat. He doesn't look like David Cornswet. Cornswet. Remember when they used to name people's last names over like what you did a lot? Imagine being named corn sweat.
Starting point is 00:15:56 They used to name people's last name? Yeah, like blacksmith. and then someone's name was like Megan Blacksmith. I didn't know that. Yeah, right? That's where it all came from. Then what would, how did it devolve? Dyslexia.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Let's move your, let's move your last name around. Yeah. Yeah, last names originated during the Middle Ages in Europe and much earlier in China as populations grew to distinguish individuals with the first name, same first name, people adopted names based on their occupation, location, parentage, or physical character. characteristics, whatever that means. Well, imagine physical characteristics. Yeah, I wouldn't like that.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Connor no brows. Oh, I like that. That sounds good. That kind of rolls off the tongue. What would yours be? Depends what stage in my life. I guess it's hard because you have to name someone when they're a baby. You would just take your parents. Yeah, but there's genetics. There's genetics. Oh. And you could change it. It would be nose forward.
Starting point is 00:16:57 which but then that's like i got brook nose forward yeah yeah it works yeah Connor Connor no brows and brooks nose forward make a podcast but then it's like you get a nose job and or you lose you have to change your name yeah or you can hyphenate do you change your name FCA nose forward formerly known us name nose forward Brooke rhinoplasties this might be too dumb yeah well we're war high i don't know what you want i don't either um We're not high. Who would Max be as a human? Like KJ. Appa.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I could kind of see. High energy, kind of a freak. I don't see that. He's a freak in the sheets. I don't see that for Max. Did you just call your dog a freak in the sheets? And is that something you wanted to do? Why do you think your cat's Dave Bautista?
Starting point is 00:17:46 That's something that I want to look into. That's just what I see. I see. Why are you, you're, I feel like you're projecting something sexual onto that. Uh-uh, no. It feels that way. No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I just like, Dave Battista to me reminds me of like. Dave Baltista. That's lost all meaning. Completely. It's just like a string of nonsense. And I bet like his family used to be baristas and then something someone fell and hit their head or the Baltista. And then that's stuck. Did you say barista?
Starting point is 00:18:16 Event. Yeah. Yeah. At one point I said barista, but now it's like I was like I was going to say they were probably barista. And then I was like, wait, I think he just said that. Parallel thinking. Yeah. Um.
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Starting point is 00:19:24 Look for the seal. Real California milk. What was I going to say about Dave? That's not KJ. Do me a favor and don't scroll up on this image. You know who this is? Who? He's like Sam Rockwell.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Wow, I used to get way more likes than I do now. Sam Rockwell. I changed my mind. What? Change my mind. There needs to be, there's so much AI. There needs to be a who would my dog be famous person like generator. narrator.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Dave Batista. Oh, that's gonna be my new thing. It would be someone with like a heavy Adam Lambert. Heavy eyeliner. No, I think it's more of like Adam Maroon 5. That is not Max. I'm sorry. That's not Max.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Max does not look like Adam Lambert. Just like that's that he's more of like a black cat. that could be Adam Lambert I could see that yeah I could see that yeah
Starting point is 00:20:38 because he's wearing a talks I think that that's helping are we talking at a pace that works for a podcast I do feel like it's minus 2X okay do you
Starting point is 00:20:50 I mean this is not Maxe either you know who showed up on my free you page last night who remember San Jaya no you're lying San Jaya
Starting point is 00:20:59 San Jaya from American Idol I didn't watch American Idol You didn't know Sanjaya? No Is it Sanjaya or Sanjaya? Or am I thinking of Zendaya? No, Sanjaya.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Does anyone remember who I'm talking about? There's no way. No, okay. This couldn't have been a niche experience. No, okay, so no one knows. There was just something about Sanjaya that What's Sanjaya? You gotta give up.
Starting point is 00:21:30 I'm lose. I'm losing. It's slipping through my grasp. Sanjaya. Slipping right through my rack. He was just a phenomenon. Like he wasn't good, but he was a personality and he made it very far. That can be so important.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Because they thought he had what it took to beat the American Idol despite not being able to sing. That's foresight. Yeah. I think. Hmm. Now I'm wondering if your love still strong. Oh, wait, he's great. He's good.
Starting point is 00:22:03 I think he's incredible. Holy shit. Maybe he couldn't sing once he got to the big leagues. Oh my gosh. That's like he wasn't like he might. I don't know. I don't really remember why we loved Sandaya. Why were you telling me that you saw him?
Starting point is 00:22:18 I don't know, man. It's just flagging. I thought you would have known him. Wow, the only thing I have my note page for today is I want to get lucky. What do you want to happen? Not sexually. I just would like something good to happen to me and kind of I don't want to work for it. I just kind of wanted to fall on my lap.
Starting point is 00:22:35 A lot of good things have happened to you. Yeah, no, I want more. You should start a gratitude journal. I have one. Do you use it? Video. You have a gratitude video? Yeah, the horizontal style.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Of like things you say you're thankful for. Yeah, and I was having a blast. Last night I went on a walk on the boardwalk. And I was filming just outwardly gratitude vibes. Everyone down there's kind of talking to themselves. So like it wasn't weird or uncomfortable for me to be vlogging style, my gratitude. Dude. Did you ever do one second a day?
Starting point is 00:23:06 No. Why did you say it like, no? I don't know. I did. You did? And you film one second every day for the year and then it makes a movie at the end.
Starting point is 00:23:19 One second isn't like enough for me to grab. Like it's just. You are, you would be shocked at how long a second is. Really? In film. Tell me more. It just,
Starting point is 00:23:35 it felt long and it was a long. Is he can you, Wait, it's 365 seconds. That's over two minutes. That's like an episode of Teller it. It's like a very long TikTok. Wait, what? It's six.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Okay, it's six minutes, as I was saying. That's so long. Wait, you have got a. Oh, absolutely. I think I get that. Okay, I think I get it. I remember the day I learned. long division.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Please don't say division here. I remember the day. Well, Brooke, could you, could you? And not, like, outside of this specific window of time and where we are mentally, could you draw this thing, put a number here and put a number here, and say, oh, let me get to the bottom of this? Zero percent chance. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Zero percent. Ask me to divide something. No. Zero percent. Can we do, can we, someone ask me to divide something? divide something and then putting the bigger number in front of the smaller one like that makes any sense go to hell 36 divided do you want me to do something that goes in evenly or not yeah like sorry me out 36 divided by six six amazing whoa that was not even me 50 divided by five 10 50 divided by two
Starting point is 00:25:09 I'm just saying the day they two divided by two yeah I did by two yeah I did by two yeah 26? Yeah, you can do this. You're really good. I don't, I don't, well, I failed, you know I failed calculus. Calculus. That's, I don't, I don't, I made it to Calc very late. Oh my God, that made me fucking sick.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Like, I don't even want to do the rest of the podcast because I heard the word calculus. Um, when they started putting the numbers into the math. Into the, that sign. Yeah, they never even gave us a reason as to why we were doing that. No. What is that? We weren't even solving for... I understand when you're solving for X.
Starting point is 00:25:47 We've got to figure out X. A, B, C, D... What are those? Why did you put those in there? What was it for? I really think that at some point, it was just like, let's see how far we can push these dummies. I'm gonna add a bunch of letters.
Starting point is 00:26:03 How many did they used to have in there? Like, tell E. Sometimes there was an F. I'd never seen a G. Too close. I don't remember that. I'll be honest. to think that I made it through those classes.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Oh, I think this is the episode where people start mass exodus. It's not our faults. This is where we're on. We genuinely are on. No one else. We could possibly blame it on. I can't.
Starting point is 00:26:33 I just was trying to tell you, I remember the day I learned Long Division. Oh, yeah. And I just remember her, Ms. Raina, writing that sign, that. design. What is that called symbol on the board and me just thinking, no. No.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Yeah. It's like, and I just remember like this is not. This is the end. This is where I tap out. No, I mean. And then it created a mental block. Right. The second I saw that sign, it created a mental block in my head so severe that I, to this day,
Starting point is 00:27:06 I've never learned long division. You had to have learned. I don't think I ever learned long division. And I'm not kidding. I think it's a wash. They would like hold people back. Whatever happen to holding people back? I don't think we're doing it enough current day.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Did they do away with that? Definitely stopped in high school and middle school. Oh, people should be held back pretty much indefinitely. People were really only held back like first grade latest, I remember. We should be held back in an adult life. Hold up. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:37 What does that look like to you? I'm thinking. To me, it's like, if I'm mentally 24, then I should still be on my parents' health insurance, even though my body is 29. What is the test for that? Long division, et cetera. If I can solve this long division problem, that I get to be back on my parents' insurance, thank you.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I would love to know our mental age. Letter to your congressman. I promise you, I'm not X years old. I'm more 24. Yeah, why are we going based off of our physical age when mental is just... Oh my gosh. Who? Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Who cares about how long my, my, my, my, my metas has been around? What about my brain? Like, where I'm at mentally. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right. So holding back, maybe they put us, um, oh, my gosh, we're talking about segregation again. No, this, you know, remember the SpongeBob lost episode? No.
Starting point is 00:28:41 There was a lost episode and he spent an episode with Patsy the Pirate. trying to find the lost episode. When Patchy was seen, you check out. You lost me. You pissed me off. Listen, Patchy pissed me off. Patchy must have been an EPO baby or like was like fucking a studio exec. Patchy, where did you come from?
Starting point is 00:28:56 Where did you go? Where did you come from? Cotton Night Joe. You know, it's like, it was similar to when. Patchy was disgusting. When sitcoms do like flashback episodes. Patchy's apartment is, now you're being ableist. Patchy is completely a peg leg and completely a hook for her hand.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I wasn't talking about all his missing a pin. Appetachie the pirate is disgusting. I forgot he was an amputee. It has nothing to do with that. Well, as I was saying, this episode needs to be, like, the lost episode of Spunnerbob. Like, it just needs to be lost. Oh, this should have been the last episode. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Wait, why did Patchy live in... Like, he lived on top of the sea? Well, yeah, he's... Yeah. That's his bedroom. Oh, Patchy's might have been, like, on the Epstein list. look at his bedroom he's he's a bitchy the pirate
Starting point is 00:29:49 was on the episode he was sailing the ship yeah why do you have a bunch of children's blankets I just thought about walking in on um we you know those like older guys who like came to your school for like
Starting point is 00:30:06 so like nature jack talk about nature jack he like came to the school with like lizards and stuff oh and like different pieces of nature and he would like show the kids like hi i'm nature jack and like show them anyway i walked in on nature jack in the bathroom he was just like going to the bathroom but like he didn't lock the door i was a teacher oh yeah it was in the staff bathroom i walked
Starting point is 00:30:38 in on nature jack i was just thinking about what did you say ha jack i called him nature jack what is it Yeah Sorry I don't know why I don't know No that's funny I always thought it was funny Because during we had
Starting point is 00:30:56 Pep Rallies And during these pep rallies They'd be like Jump Rope Extreme jump rope Double Dutch Double Dutch Nature Jack over here
Starting point is 00:31:06 I got a bowl constrictor I got a lizard Now do you want to do drugs kids I'm like yeah I wish I would have taken Molly before this This is absurd I'm watching the people On bikes doing wheelies
Starting point is 00:31:16 Yeah I want to do drugs They're all on drugs You think Nature Jack was playing with his lizards all sober? Probably not. He's probably where we are now. No. Did you sign that poster? That I would never do drugs or drink?
Starting point is 00:31:31 Of course. Connor, truly, like, when they were doing their presentations and, like, talking about marijuana, I was like, that is, like, hell incarnate. And there is no difference to me between marijuana and methamphetamines. The gateway drug. Like, yeah. It's so like if I could see myself now, I'd be sick. I would think like that person needs like to be locked up and to get help.
Starting point is 00:31:58 That person should be held back. Yeah. A hundred percent. It's a good song. My fat ass sweaty due to the seat. The AMC. That should be tattooed of my body for my Kelly Clarkson. Do you think you'll get another tattoo ever?
Starting point is 00:32:12 Mm-hmm. I think I'm going to get all of mine removed. I'm annoyed. I didn't just do them all the same time. I wish I had like an old picture of like someone someone in my family that I could get tattooed on me in like a like a class you ain't not like huge on my back. That's so interesting. Yeah. Like fine line.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah. But like if it was like from a distance. Yeah. Like their silhouette. Like a like I would not get this but like my dad is like a toddler with a balloon. Like that'd be cute. Would you get your dad as a toddler tattooed on you? Like bad example.
Starting point is 00:32:48 No, I guess. because I'd be like, is that your son? I'm like, no, it's my head. And he's just totally alive. That's so interesting. I was just a bad example. Let me take my horse-sized vitamins really quick. What of those pills?
Starting point is 00:33:02 I've tried to take them all at once in his he saw me. I threw up into my hand. My brother can take like 15 pills at once. No, I used to be able to. I put them in my mouth broke. I go, look. And I go, right. And Izzy was looking,
Starting point is 00:33:17 making eye contact with me when I, when I you threw up when I put okay so I have to take them one by one they're so dry
Starting point is 00:33:27 really nervous that someone's trying to call me what are they no okay not at all but I just got like a feeling
Starting point is 00:33:44 that like something's like a miss like someone's like trying to reach me and now I'm scared everything's okay Everything is awesome Oh no The doctor was calling
Starting point is 00:33:55 To tell me that all of my Moles that I got removed are benign Oh that's so nice I was going to sleep every night Like Moles getting bigger Like tomorrow's your last day I really truly was convinced You know you don't have to be totally naked
Starting point is 00:34:12 To get the mole removed If it's on your back Yeah you took your Well were you not iron panties in the first place? Did I not show you this? I was gonna do like a funny You should also wear panties to the doctor. I was wearing underwear.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Okay. I elected to remove them in case she needed to check my butt or something. All right, hang on. What was I showing you? Something from the doctor. Yeah, I need to show you this because I thought it was funny. So I was at the doctor and I was going to make like a funny video for my friends. And then I'm butt to the camera, cheeks out.
Starting point is 00:34:48 And she comes in and I had to like flip. around I had my I put my hands up like I she was gonna okay hang on if I could figure out the camera like app I would have already shown you by the way but do to do it's nice to revisit all of my memories on my way to find one specific video from less than two weeks ago I took my laptop to the genius bar because I broke it yeah and they were acting like really serious like it was like a hospital and they were like it does seem like your laptop is in critical condition and we need to keep it overnight two nights to get the diagnosis and then we'll call you once we have the prognosis and I was like this this feels like a doctor show for my laptop should I just
Starting point is 00:35:42 what what was the issue oh I spelled a bottle a water bottle on it in my bag but it actually was fine. Like it was working fine and just didn't charge. So when it died, it died. And so I just needed to get that thing replaced, which, and it wasn't that expensive. It was amazing. I was really happy with the outcome. That's amazing. Yeah, it was really impressed. I need the whiteboard, if you don't mind. What are you doing? I'm trying to find the video of me at the doctor, but go figure it absolutely isn't in my role. Oh, found it. It's because of my butt. Okay. You could just, you know, you could just look up the door. Oh, I did see that, but I didn't hear the knock.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I can't show, well, I guess I can, nah, it's all send it in. You want, are you going to show everyone your butt? No, I'm going to blur. Would you do full nudity in a movie? Yes. Full frontal. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:36:41 Yes. You would? I'd love to. Love to. I'll do full frontal on the podcast. Cool. Yeah. I don't think I would have a problem, is it?
Starting point is 00:36:51 No. Well, I would just in terms of like I don't want my body on TV. Well, I guess I would if I don't want my body on TV. What? I actually, I would be fine with having my privates out. I'd be fine. No, you would have to be real, I'm saying, to you. Put like your.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I'm saying it would be. You're cooter in a movie. They don't. They put Jennifer Lawrence's cooter in a movie. Did they? Yeah, and no hard feelings. Remember, she was like had that fight scene on the beach. There's no way that's.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yes, that was her genuine body, her cuder and boobs. No, they... Yes, no, I swear to God. She got a fake cuder implant. No, she did not. I promise. That is her real one. She got a cooter piece.
Starting point is 00:37:33 No. That's her full real. You're talking about J-Law's cooter piece? Yes, that's her real. Trust me? No, try and trust me on this. That is her Jennifer. Jump into my cuder for a second.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Yes, Jennifer Lawrence was actually naked for the information. Beechy. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to Be. Use us directed.
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Starting point is 00:39:09 produce like fresh melons, or beat the heat with frozen treats while chilling poolside. Whatever your summer plans, Ralph's makes it easy to enjoy high-quality, fresh food at affordable prices. Ralph's, serving SoCal for over 150 years. Told you. You did not use the body dump or anything before the tea. What I'm trying to say is I in a scene like that I'm fine having my cooter and boobs out but I don't want my stomach out. I would do like a crop top just around my stomach with the private shooting out of you could do and I have a story after this. You could do like okay say your tube top rolled down and then rolled up which doesn't happen with skims.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Exactly. Even if you wash them a hundred times since birth. even if you were born in a river a little tent I would do like a fake pregnant stomach naked sure me too now I was in Mexico
Starting point is 00:40:11 long long ago I don't remember anything about this trip but my one wish as a young man I now know better obviously but I wanted to swim with the dolphins so we go and you're doing that thing where you're doing that thing where you push on your feet and you go up and you take it and there's a picture they take
Starting point is 00:40:27 dolphins are fucking huge and scary by the way there's a size of Jeddos and I they swim underneath you then they come they're so smart they pick they pick your feet up and they go this poor woman girl woman probably there's no way I don't know I don't remember there's like a memory I don't know she gets pushed up by the dolphins bathing suit here bathing suit here so her picture's taken and it puts it up on the screen for the whole lobby, boobs out. Like it's like full frontal. And then get this. She just she like goes to jump off because she's like my my rack is showing. And she flies off and the water catches her bathing suit on the way down. Cooter out. Oh. And bathing suit around her right. She fell forward.
Starting point is 00:41:18 It's around her ankle launched into the rocks. She's pussy out on the rocks. Oh, that sucks. That genuinely sucks And I like that for a scene in a book or movie Oh my gosh We should be writing or talking more about what the waves can do to one suit When you Maybe you do a book about a woman that falls in love with a wave
Starting point is 00:41:41 When you should come to the wave I think I'm gonna I do you think I'm gonna stick to more traditional romance Hmm So you're gonna kind of say Just like human on human Not as much monster bait Not as much monster bait or C bait, but you can write it.
Starting point is 00:42:05 I want you to feel like Puzzles. Wait, people from the Maine don't even know Pizzou. Oh my God. Is that not insane? Oh my gosh. If you care at all, we talked about Puzzuccio last week. In the bonus, the bonus from a few weeks ago,
Starting point is 00:42:22 is it called Pesu's girl or me you and Pesu? It's something Pizzu. We and Pizzou, we did a really big deep dive into the tether of a Lubu-Boo. So his counterpart, Pizzu, who was used in Mesopotamian lore as the god of the wind. And plague. And plague. And he had a monster bait romance wrapped around his leg. Oh, no, no.
Starting point is 00:42:50 He had a huge cock. He had a snake wrapped around. Yeah. He had a stank. Yeah. He had a little bit of a lot going on. I would just look at a little bit of this and a little bit of that. What was that?
Starting point is 00:43:01 That? No. Wait, there's a Pizzou in the Exorcist. Yeah, I mean, he's the demon of God and More of Plague. Pesu is the main antagonist and demon of the Exorcist horror novel. Excuse me? And oh my gosh. Blatty derived the character from Asrian and Babylonian mythology, where Pazuzu was considered
Starting point is 00:43:23 the king of demons of the wind. The son of, we can't remember anything. but we can remember exactly Pizzuzzi's job. Ask me about Pizzou. That is nuts that Pizzou is the demon and the exorcet. He's a lot more famous than we had anticipated. He has an IMDP. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:41 It has the body of, oh, it. Well, it has, okay, it has the body of a man, the head of a lion or dog, eagle-like, talent, feet, two pairs of wings, a scorpion's tail, and a serpentine penis. But did the Exorcist demon have all those things? His Eliasus are, wait, can you show up a small bit? You talking about the aliases? The aliases. Captain Howdy.
Starting point is 00:44:04 The salesman. I'm Pazuzu, the demon of plague and wind. Also known as the... Okay, so odd colors red, but green and yellow when possessing. Yes. Appears in The Exorcist, the Exorcist, Two, Heretic, the Exorcist 3, Dominion, prequel to the Exorcist. The Exorcist, the beginning, Exorcist TV. Pizzouz is...
Starting point is 00:44:27 Famous. Like, whoa. Tony Winn. Wait. What's it? You got when? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:44:34 I was thinking we put Pizzuzu on the map when Pizzou's been on every corner. Wow. Of the map this whole time. Can we, who plays Pizzouz? Eileen? Pizzou is a, is a non-binary demon. Well, yeah, no, I was going to say with a huge piece, but that doesn't matter. Can I identify anyway.
Starting point is 00:44:56 It's a serpent, fine, too. I really believe it's a, it's a tiniary demon. own thing. Oh, Pizzuz is definitely... I'm seeing Eileen in the Pizzouz. A hundred percent. Wow. Oh. Sorry. That's a person. She gone? Yeah. It's just Pizzu's here now. Jesus. Eileen. Oh. I can't stop watching. This is 40. I bought it. 1499. I purchased it. What's your favorite scene? Well, my favorite scene is with Melissa McCarthy when they're in the principal's office. the bloopers for that?
Starting point is 00:45:34 I could quote it. Let's watch in the bonus. I'm going to jump up and jackknife you two in the neck slow blinking eyes. You won't. You know what? I'm going to start drinking soon. I'm going to slit their neck like two fish and drink their blood. Slow blitz.
Starting point is 00:45:49 You won't blink. I'll cut your eyelids off. You want slow blink at me now, will you? So good. Wow. And she goes, oh, really, Kim? Really? Oh, fuck you, Kim.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Suck a big fucking dick, Kim. I'm glad your husband died. He probably killed himself. I would have killed myself. It's just so good. Good job. I remember that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Yeah, I love that scene. Melissa McCarthy, where is she? She's really like in it. I'm talking about in it. You're talking about in it? I'm kind of, what's the last thing she did besides nine perfect strangers? Like the heat or something?
Starting point is 00:46:25 No, that was like, why is she not? Like, where are you? I'm so sorry. Oh, she did unfrosted. Jerry Seinfeld's Pop-Tart origin story The Little Mermaid Yeah she really Oh she's come
Starting point is 00:46:37 She's in only murders We need another like Melissa McCarthy comedy Like now that could heal You know it sucks And I'm just gonna say something really Really just like you know I call it Like I see it Like iconic
Starting point is 00:46:48 No I just now think that like When you get to a level of celebrity That That you start 3D printing movies Instead of Making them good Yeah, but she's not doing anything. No, I don't mean she's not doing anything.
Starting point is 00:47:06 She is doing something. But like she's not doing 3D printing or another movie that I know. You know when people get like really famous and then all the movies they come out with it's like, is this a YouTube video? Like Glenn Powell? I didn't say that. But that's what you're talking about? No. No, Glenn, no, I'm talking about like.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Let's play 36 questions to fall in love. No offense. Happy Gilmore too is probably like needs to be removed. from okay oh my gosh okay so happy thanks what is it valentine's day yeah um happy valentine's day i hope everyone was in love over the weekend and cuddled and kissed and it was awesome it's great happy for everyone um okay so we're gonna play 36 questions to fall in love i'm gonna ask a for oh do you want to ask the first one i'll ask you ask you or i can ask whatever are you given the choice of anyone in the world whom would you want as a dinner
Starting point is 00:48:01 guest. Wait, is this for both of us? We just talked about this. It's one person though. I do think it will be Freddie Mercury right now. Jennifer Lawrence. I always forget they can be alive. Yeah. I will do Jonathan Groff. Would you like to be famous in what way? I would, I would want to be like an author. Yeah. Cool. What about you? Famous author? It's hard. I would want like my books to be famous and I would only want to be. like a little bit famous. Yeah. Like Emily Henry is perfect to me.
Starting point is 00:48:36 I would want to be famous, but not in like a fall. Oh, he fell off way. Just in like when I go places, people care, but not in like a you're everywhere type of What do you want to be known for? Don't care. Statues, I don't know. Okay. No, like comedy acting.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Oh, comedy acting. No, both of those. Both of those. Okay. before making a telephone call do you ever rehearse what you're going to say why i usually write it down what if it's like an appointment or i'm calling the pharmacy for a refill on my medications or something that needs to be rehearsed i will write it down but not for like conversation with my friends yeah i should write things down because i'll call someone to have an hour conversation and be like
Starting point is 00:49:26 Oh my God, I called them to. No, I don't practice. But I also, it's not my best work. Sometimes if I have a call with someone and I hang up and I'm like, they don't know that I'm cool. I didn't nail it. They don't know that I'm like, I'm normal. I'm like people like me. Like for an interview?
Starting point is 00:49:45 No, just like when I'm on the phone, make an appointment. Okay. I'm like, when I get in there to a reception desk, I want to put on a clinic. What would you constitute for a perfect day for you? This is a good question. And it's an honest question. Sleep in a little bit. Cuddle with the cats.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Play my word games. Do I have to live in this world? Can I go out? Can I walk to the beach? Yes. But I don't live at the beach. Cause it's a perfect day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Then I walk to the beach and read for a little bit. And someone brings me a turkey hoagie. Oh. Yeah. You could say that again. That sounds really good. Then I go home, take a very crispy shower. I have tons of new freckles on the bridge of my nose.
Starting point is 00:50:35 And then I go to sushi foamy. Come home. Why doesn't sushi fumi come to you? You want to drive to sushi fu-fumi? I love going to sushi-fumi. Where do you park? It's not bad on La Siena most of the time. Lassianiga is on my shit-lark.
Starting point is 00:50:49 There's that open strip on Las Janiaga. But if not, you can post on a side street. Okay. Wait, I need to write so many down so I don't forget to do it. Park and post. And then I'm eating sushi-fumi, Krisby, crispy rice, salmon nagiri, moon roll, blue crab hand roll, shrimp temporal roll, cut if I'm very hungry, extra salmon if I'm hungry.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Then go home, get a little bit high. My friends come over. We watch a movie. My cats are on the couch. I fall asleep on the couch. I wake up. My friends have fallen asleep too. And we're all alone but together.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Have you thought about this? No. Mine is Dave Boutista shows up on my house. I get on. Did you write that down? No. Dave Batista shows up in my house. I immediately get on his shoulders.
Starting point is 00:51:34 He gallops like how you would a horse. He's not on all fours. He's just two. I mean, he's moving as fast as a car. He's built like a house. That's it. That sounds fun too. But genuinely, what is your perfect?
Starting point is 00:51:50 Genuinely, wake up, walk to coffee. And everyone's up. So, like, it's like a great, we have the coffee. sit somewhere, but guess what? Where are you? I don't know. Somewhere not my house. Unless people are staying with me and we're going to do something that weekend.
Starting point is 00:52:09 That's fun. What sucks about me is as soon as a weekend comes that I'm looking forward to and everyone's having fun, I'm immediately like, tick, talk, tick, talk. You're at the beginning of the weekend that's going to end pretty soon. Ooh, I hate that. That's where my brain goes. Enjoy a part of it. I can't. I struggle with that too
Starting point is 00:52:30 Anyways Perfect day We walk, we get coffee But there's things to do We have an activity plan for the day We all pack up into a car We've packed at lunch we do a hike And the hike is to something
Starting point is 00:52:44 Like a waterfall or a lake And then Head home And then We go to the beach to lounge Beach to pool So you've now gone beach to pool on me
Starting point is 00:52:56 On my fat ass we sit there, pool, there is an attendant at the pool. They're going to ask, what do you want? I'm going to go, ice cold beer in a plastic cup for me. How about Turkey Club too? Hang on, right in there yet. You can get there? No, there's a place I went to one time in Hawaii, and it had sushi and pizza, and they just
Starting point is 00:53:17 served sushi and pizza, and it was poolside. Because I'm not like- As good as it is, and if it's available to me, yeah, I'll have it. I'm not like a huge chicken strips guy. Like they're not really Yeah like they're good I like them but I'm not like Like are you talking about like chicken fingers
Starting point is 00:53:32 Chicken strips like by the pool Everyone I feel like by the pool I've never heard them called chicken strips What do you call? Chicken tenders or chicken fingers I don't call them tenders I call them tenders I call them In Philly we say fingers
Starting point is 00:53:43 Chicken fingers But I feel like typically they call them chicken tenders And you're thinking about chicken nuggets No I'm not chicken strips No you just said little I said those are chicken nuggets What did you call them chicken fingers Are you thinking of chicken cats?
Starting point is 00:53:55 Are you thinking of chicken cats I promise you I'm thinking of chicken strips. That's the way I was raised. Never heard that. Chicken strips. I mean, unless you're talking about chicken catsu. No. Which is like.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Why would I ever be talking about chicken catsu? Be so fucking for real. That's a strip. That is shaped like a strip. Yeah, this way. Chicken strips are long. Yeah, so is chicken catsu. God damn.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I don't, you're right too. I mean, but I wouldn't. That to me is the only thing. Katu, Khatu. Chicken Khatu. Yeah, that's probably right. I don't, yeah. Sorry, I'm from Philly.
Starting point is 00:54:33 It's okay. I never apologize for being from Philly. We are Philly strong. Thanks. Anyways, I'm not done with my day. I get a beer and then I do the same thing. I go up. I'm a little, my skin feels a little like it's tight on my body, you know?
Starting point is 00:54:51 My skin feels tight. I take a, actually, you know what? You know what's crazy about me? I go swimming at the beach. in the salt water unless it's Santa Monica which I do swim in so I don't know I scowled like that I'm just saying I shower after I get in the beach in Santa Monica I've I've been hearing recently that it's pretty gross even though I opened my mouth and I jump into my eyes open and stuff I don't usually shower
Starting point is 00:55:18 if I go in the ocean yeah Kauai or like a Mexico that's nuts to me because I have the ugliest pool and ocean hair oh I look so you look so yeah hair. That's why I jar it up. Yeah, I know. I put on a nice Hawaiian shirt and some linen pants. Are you wearing underwear? Nope. And they're a little seething if they get wet. Deal with it. Sorry. You think I asked for this?
Starting point is 00:55:46 We get a reservation. We go to dinner. Light dinner, heavy drinks. Karaoke time. Make some friends. Take it a little too far. Ask to leave. Uber home. asks to leave or you are asking? Someone in my parties has to leave, not me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Even though I was pushing it. You wanted to go? To karaoke? No, to leave it. To leave the karaoke? Are you, I thought you just left karaoke. No. You just got there?
Starting point is 00:56:19 No, no, no, we're leaving now. That's what I thought. You wanted to go or someone else wanted to go? You just said you were pushing the leave. No, I was pushing it about to get kicked out. Pushing it to the limit? You're pushing the limits. With my karaoke.
Starting point is 00:56:33 songs. I'm begging the DJ. Like, play my next. I promise this is not what the people want. You know, they want no error. Trust me, I've been doing it for years. They want no error. The people who don't want and don't stop believing. Trust me. Well, some people might want the glee version. No, they don't. Some people might. They want, they don't want Mr. Brightside either. I hate to break it to you. They don't. They don't. Someone just did that. What? Mr. Brightside for karaoke. I don't, this season of love is blind.
Starting point is 00:57:12 I think. I'll tell you about it later. Did something happen? Nothing should taste like that. What was it? Like, do you want to taste? You want to lick of my pill? Wait, what did you just eat?
Starting point is 00:57:22 My vitamin. Oh, I know what those tastes like. Horrible. Put them in capsules. I just got a chill down my whole body. I think it was like a seizure. Wait, okay. You're done karaoke.
Starting point is 00:57:36 It's down. I'm going to bed. Okay. When did you last sing to yourself to someone else? We don't have to do that one. I feel like it was just five seconds ago. If you're able to live past age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which ones do you want? I know my answer.
Starting point is 00:57:51 I know mine. Go ahead. Well, that's hard. I obviously like mind, but like that does suck because I am constantly worried about aging. My face. I have a gray hair, multiple of them. No.
Starting point is 00:58:10 You're doing body? Well, here's the thing. The mind is great. A 30-year-old mind, I don't really want that bad. But our careers rely on, like... I'd kind of like to be a 90-year-old that's just like,
Starting point is 00:58:27 I say and do whatever I want, whatever I'm thinking, I don't filter anything. I'm like crazy. Nothing really bothers me. You know, there's not a worry in the world to a like a healthy well 90 year old. Like they're like a little bit spooky. Yeah, I guess you're kind of right.
Starting point is 00:58:45 I would love to have like a hot, tight bod and like this kind of kooky brain. That's a great. I was thinking about writing, but people still write into their very late years. So I'm fine with keeping the brain that I have. I'll look 30. I'll have the body of a 30 year old, but I'm going to have to do some editing on my body. Before I reach the 30. Yeah, I think I'm going to, I was driving in,
Starting point is 00:59:05 in West Hollywood the other day, they do a jowel removal, which I was looking into. Where? Non-surgical. If you guys see me looking real... You know, they do non-surgical nose jobs. How?
Starting point is 00:59:17 Injections. They just fatten it up, or what? I think they do. Give me one of them fat nose. Or they just like make... Yeah, like if you have a bump, it'll like fill in the empty space, so it looks like it's a straight line.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Do you have a secret hunch about how you'll die? No. I don't even want to think about that right now. That's crazy. It could be any moment. Ah, let's move on. Yeah. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. What three things do we have in common?
Starting point is 00:59:45 Are racks. I'm being Jen. Um, okay. We are love for rom-coms and sushi. Rob Thomas. Rom-coms. Oh, Rom-coms. Oh, Rom-coms.
Starting point is 00:59:58 I love Matchbox 20. I do too. Okay. Matchbox 20, rom-coms and sushi. Hello. Okay, my perfect day, Prashon. I'm not crazy. I'm just a little unwell. Right now, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Right now, I don't know if you can tell. That is such a good song. I listened to it yesterday. I think I did too. 3 a.m. is an amazing song. It's 3 a.m. I must be lonely. I have to show you something. I thought you were going to tell you.
Starting point is 01:00:27 Tokyo Disney, Tokyo Disney World. There is a vampire and Frankenstein. and they're singing the most, like, out-of-pocket American songs. You know, when you see a t-shirt in a different language and it's just like, like, you'll be in like Paris and see a t-shirt in English that's like, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah. This is what's happening in Tokyo.
Starting point is 01:00:49 Like, you have Frankenstein. It's like spooky. It's thundering. Like, and Frankenstein singing Santana. That's awesome to me. It's awesome, but it's like really like out of place. Like Santana, like, I think they were going for something like, spooky and he's going
Starting point is 01:01:06 it's just like the ocean under the moon and like with yeah do you know what I mean well I could see that being spooky it's just like the ocean under the moon
Starting point is 01:01:21 it's just like imagine okay I just saw a person that's not there just now fully blown 100% there was a person there and I was like oh I'm seeing to the okay
Starting point is 01:01:36 Well, that's real crazy. I hate when that happens. Take four, well, I don't want to do four minutes. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, is this the fall in? This is like really scary. If a Christmas ball- Okay, let's see. What's the, okay, what's the most, okay, what's your most treasured memory?
Starting point is 01:01:57 Do you think? For whatever reason, when anyone asks me, like, what was the best day of your life? I go back to the sixth grade Renaissance Fair. I don't know why. it was just like that school field trip feeling of like I feel like I'm like travel abroad. Oh wow. I'm abroad with my friends right now.
Starting point is 01:02:15 They had this like dragon egg that had a prize in it. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. This guy was swallowing swords. He called me up on the stage. What did you do to you? Made me hold the swords. I was like, this is absolutely freaking incredible. These guys were jousting.
Starting point is 01:02:33 I was like, this is just amazing. I tried to try. latte for the first time. Fun. School bus back. It was a freaking movie. I mean, I had the best day. Then I wrote in my journal about it.
Starting point is 01:02:47 That's great. Yeah. I just thought about the other day how like when we lived with our parents, it would just like be the end of the night and everyone would be like, okay, good night. And just like go up to your room. What a crazy concept now. Like we were all roommates. We were roommates.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Yeah, that's true. It's just so crazy. And like everyone just like woke up and did their own. It's crazy to think like you lived with your siblings too. I know. Like there was a point in my life where I lived with my siblings every day. Really weird. Very weird.
Starting point is 01:03:20 What's your perfect memory? I mean, it's like my favorite memory ever. It actually gives me chills. Day you met me? Yeah. There was a day that we went, we were, we took like a college trip, like my college and I went to this, like we went to Hawaii because we had friends in college there. and we like all slept on we all shared like one hotel room it was like eight of us and then we went to this party and it was like pool party and it was so much fun and then we were like we're gonna go camp on the beach and we go camp on the beach we had a fire and everything and then we all just brought blankets but we didn't have tents we just slept in the sand on the beach wow and then at 6 a m everyone just kind of like started rustling we were in like a huge like just pile of blankets and we sat up and the sun was coming up and there was a pot of dolphins swimming by and we all ran and
Starting point is 01:04:09 sprinted down and jumped in the ocean and it was warm and it was like six in the morning and the ocean was warm we were just like swimming bobbing in and out of the waves that sounded like that like story entered my soul i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna sound it amazing and we went and got pokey for breakfast and when we got to the pokey place the guy was wheeling in a in a trash can on wheels the fish from the ocean that they had just caught and he gave an extra wow that sounds like a perfect day. Okay, how close and warm is your family? I'd to peeve really bad. Okay, I can talk for a second.
Starting point is 01:04:45 No. Well, we can wrap up. Okay. Or do you want to end with this last question? Like, how was this 36 questions to fall in love? And one of them is how do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Because you're getting to know each other on a deep level. What if anything is too serious to be joked about? Like, is that like one of the questions? Nothing if you write a good enough joke. All right. We'll wrap up there. Thank you guys for listening.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Brooke has to... What? Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? This is, like, this would send me home early. Yeah, this is your house containing everything you own catches fire.
Starting point is 01:05:27 If you were to die this evening, like, what? All right. That's kind of crazy. This has... No, imagine you're on a date, and someone's like, yeah, it's great to meet you. If you were to die this evening,
Starting point is 01:05:39 what would be one thing you would... If a fan... Family member of yours was murdered. I'm just spitballing here. If your whole family were to be... If your house caught on fire tonight. What's one way? You have a hunch about how you're going to die?
Starting point is 01:05:58 What do you think? That's incredible. That's patchy on a date. Patchy on a date, be like, P.O.B on a date with Pachy. All right, man. It was great talking to you. Sorry about everything I said earlier. Sorry about what I said about whatever.
Starting point is 01:06:19 We love y'all and I have to hit the pisser. She's going to be on the can. I'm right here, my Kelly Clarkson. Off that can. Off that can and on the can, brother. All right, get in there, girl. Put your loafers on and get out of here. All right, we're wrapping up.
Starting point is 01:06:38 I'm going to probably eat my launch. I was going to say for later, but it's time now. It's 11 o'clock somewhere. Oh, it's almost noon. It's lunchtime. All right, bye, guys.

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