Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Eating Crap

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It out NOW: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-itSUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwprThis week, Connor is BALD! And Brooke is scared. They talk about her appearance on the Today Show, evil spirits haunting Zillow, and influencers being a little… tongue in cheek. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at https://Lolablankets.com by using code BNC at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets.Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/bnc and the discount will be If you're between 18 and 24, check out Prime for Young Adults and start earning cash back on the purchases you're already making. Prime for Young Adults is only available for 18–24-year-olds. Terms apply.Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC.Popchips is sending you and your +1 to experience pop culture IRL at THAT Austin music fest!Go to https://popchips.com/brookeandconnor and enter for a chance to win a 3-day VIP trip for 2 to THAT Austin Music Fest.Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of Brooke’s favorite pieces, at https://skims.com/bncB+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmapTMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgangTMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudiosBROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaaHosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood.0:00 BALD1:07 Intro1:25 Soak It In7:30 Adverse to Shiny Bald9:50 Understand Because You Have To11:03 What’s Giving You Anxiety Today?16:53 Lola Blankets19:07 Article20:40 Amazon Prime 21:57 Evil Spirits On Zillow26:18 Eating Crap Meals29:45 Falling In The Wedges33:40 No Influencers Allowed39:50 Squarespace41:10 Popchips42:38 Skims43:18 We Heart West Virginia 47:41 Busting Out The Tux 51:40 Obsession Debrief57:01 There Are So Many Spider Mans1:00:47 TW Brooke’s Lip1:04:50 Embracing Connor’s Bald1:10:34 Age Existential Crisis1:13:13 See You In Bonus!!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I need to ask. Like, I still, I, like, can't face the fact that it's happening. Like, what? In the morning? You leave in the morning? No. How are you? Why?

Be sweet. Be sweet. What's the reason? What's the reason? What's the reason for anything? That's so damn true. Give a girl a frickin' minute. Yeah, so get in, baby.

I have... Like I've already been kind of like on the verge of tears all morning. And it's just like, I love you to death. This isn't helping. Oh. You'll get used to it because you have to. Where did your hair? Like, how?

Maybe I don't know. How? I don't know. Where did your hair go? Baby, I don't know. Oh, hell no. When did you decide to do this? Oh, Lord.

I don't know. I wanted to try something new. It's, there's like an excess on your neck on the back of your neck. It just looks like you've so much skin hanging off of your neck. I want to talk, I look like a monster because of my lip. You can't even see your lip. Are you serious? I was going to eat my chomp.

You can't eat your chomp because of my new look? Genuinely, that's correct. Wow. You've always wanted to be involved, though. I told you I've been wanting that this has been something that's been on my mind. Do you want to cozy up into the covers and squirm around? I want to burrow into my silk sheets, yes, and kind of... Although would...

World build in there. I don't think you would feel the feeling of the silk on your scalp, because it's not your scalp. I don't know, Brooke. I feel like I might... I feel like I might really like it in there. I'm almost like... Putting a feeling in my chest. You don't think I look kind of good? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, sit with it? Yeah. Let me sit with it because I didn't really have a minute to sit with it. Yeah, no. You know, it kind of just like came out. I just wanted to be your neighbor today, you know? And that's a good blanket statement, your neighbor. I'm everybody's neighbor. I'm having a hard time like just easing into everything and just adjusting. Oh, wait, do you want to tell the audio listeners what happened? Oh yeah, sure.

I got a new look. If you're listening on audio, like genuinely, I'm sorry. And I was going to tell everyone to just do audio only today because something happened to my lip and I look. I don't think anyone's going to be looking at your lip, baby. I'm sorry, I got a new look. That's like, and thank you for that. Yeah, I seriously was like,

I was also saying this is disgusting, shockingly disgusting. And then I sat with it and I got the mustache and I was like, oh, maybe there is a world where this is doable for me down the road if I have to. I don't know if there is. All right. I'm bored. Let's go to Turkey.

I don't know if there is. But I just like, where does your hair go? It's gone. I want you to get used to this because this could happen. It couldn't. It could. I don't, you wouldn't let it. The medical advances have allowed us to avoid these sort of things.

But like, I think that I would, I am one that would let it go because I'm always trying to let people know that it's okay to just let it go and you will look better. in this way. Well, I don't know, but also there's two different kinds of bald men. There's what you are doing right now, or it's like the shiny, like, completely hairless, like, bald. And then there's kind of like a stubbly bald and like not not, no, no, no, not everyone can achieve what you have. Not all men can achieve this, like, shiny cue ball head, you know? Is it shiny to you? Do you want to touch it?

No, no, no, no, not at all. But. You don't want to touch it at all? Not at all. Okay. Well. I don't have any desire. But not all men.

It is genuine. This is what a penis looks like. I've, like, I've chills, yeah. Yeah. This is literally, this is like when I, when I put this on today, I go, this is, this is, this is the white uncle-aged man at jazz in the park in your neighborhood. I also just never considered your head, like the shape of your head. You got new sprinklers. They look good.

I'm going to dance in mood today. All right. How do you feel? I feel great. I've been here for a while. Can I ask how long this took? This took two hours. Okay.

Yeah. To achieve. Yeah. It's not easy. I have a full head. No, you've a full head. Yeah. I just said I'm having trouble understanding where that went.

It's under. How? It's my under. carriage. Shana. She's amazing. I know. Yeah.

I know. I don't know how to like have a normal episode. You, I promise you, shit with it. Izzy ended up really coming around to my bald, bald head. Really? Yeah. When you first put it on, it was really hard to look at it. I said, I'm having like that reaction.

I said, it grows on you. And I'm burping a lot. I said, that is fucking disgusting. When I first said it and I was like, I'm sorry. But like, I just had not seen myself like that. but we have to move on because, you know. I'm just going to start. I'm going to look straight ahead for a little.

Okay. And I hope that doesn't upset. You need to like, I need you to know that like when I was Voldemort, like understandable, like reaction there. But I think you might have like adverse feelings towards bald people. It's this kind of bald. Shiny bald. Shiny bald. I've always.

It's never been my preference. Like pop up is bald, but he has. has like, you know, that like half a halo of like whatever's left, I guess. What is that called? It's not half a hair. It's like a reverse hair line. It's like a reverse taper fade. It's like you know what I mean? They have the hair on the side. Like I don't know. I'm fine. I'm totally fine with that. But it's cue ball bald has always sat with me in a way that I'm uncomfortable with. They should call. No, you got a mustache hair in your. Yeah. In your throat. A few. They should

They should call that hair type The arena Because it does Or the Coliseum Yeah, exactly It's like that horseshoe shape It's round where you could actually View a show there

If you wanted to see Like some sort of Amphitheater Maybe you could try that next time Maybe I will Yeah That would make you feel more comfortable If I had a little bit of hair

On my sides Just a little Okay I have sympathy pains in my throat Sympathy pains? Yeah What is that? From you

Like I feel like I have part of your mustache in my throat. Okay, hold on because one, I need to pull up our notes because I have so much from the past couple of weeks that we've been, we obviously had Lizzie on last week so we couldn't throw her into the ringer with all this stuff. She was so amazing. It's going to be hard to move on past that. I like that girl.

Pretty great girl. Oh, what I was just saying, I was like, you'll, you'll, you'll have to move on because you have to. Yeah. I like Voldemort like I'm like oh that's like you're in a costume you know yeah this is like there's a real there's a realism here I can't stop waving like this I get you feel yourself embodying the character I'm becoming another person oh stop I just like that's exactly how you would act yeah I know I like you're doing too well I you're doing too well you should you should

be flattered that I'm having this type of reaction because you're you're nailing the part. Thanks. Well, I was saying the, why did we start saying they'll understand because they have to? This was about others. It's something he, I think, was, were you missing a week or something? Maybe. Or the podcast or like our behavior was poor or something. That's what it was.

It was we were acting, we were, we were misbehaving. Yeah. And it was reflecting poorly on our character and our work. Yeah, exactly. we said, you know what, this is just kind of like a write-off and they'll understand because they have to. And that was, I've been applying, they'll understand because they have to in my life so much so that I've reverse engineered it. And I've gotten all the way to, I'll understand because I have to. I've been letting go about it. I love that. Yeah. I would love to understand

because I have to. That's like, you know what it's similar to is, um, you don't have to do it with a smile. Do it with a frown, but you just have to do it. Yeah. It's like you sometimes, some things, you just have to. That can live in the same box as I'll understand because I have to. Yeah. Because it's just like out of my control and that's going to happen whether I like it or not.

And then it goes all the way back to like 99% of the things you worry about don't even happen. Huh? What are you having anxiety about today? Anxiety about today? Yeah. Well, a number of things. You have a different kind of hair stuck in your mustache. There's been several.

The one I pulled out my mouth was not from my mustache. Yeah, there's a different kind of hair poking out. But I don't have a cat. It's like a cat hair. I know. It tastes like a cat hair. It tasted like cat hair. Come here.

Oh, yeah. You didn't get it. Oh, that's my nose. It's from your mustache. It's just coming off a little. Did you get it? Yeah, yeah. more coarse than I had anticipated.

Did I tell you last week after you said that you had gray hairs? I was in my hotel and I, something came across my desk. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It's just like you, you did that. I know. You texted me and said, I hate you. Yeah. And I literally, my stomach dropped.

And look at me now. Look what I had to do. My stomach dropped. And I was like, what could I have done? And then I gave you gray hair. Did that inspire this? Completely unrelated, if you can imagine. I'm sure it was subconscious.

Right. Subconscious. What is that from subconscious? That was from that accent that you hate when I do, the Larry David accent. Yeah, but why is the word subconscious? I don't know, because we used to do accents a lot when we all live together because we thought we were on the precipice of something. Press a pus. Press that post.

What's making you anxious? I don't have anything really that's making me anxious that I can speak into the camera. Oh, but you have stuff that is unspoken? Yeah. Okay. Really incredible stuff. What are you? I'm like, I know it's on your mind too.

I can talk about it because, no, it's not that. But I can talk about this because it will be done by the time this episode comes out. But I have to go on live TV. Yeah. On Wednesday. It's Monday right now in New York. I haven't slept in a month. Yeah.

Have you ever seen that video of the guy going on the Today Show? Have you ever seen the video of the guy, the newscaster, having a panic attack on camera? No. It's not pretty. And I remember I saw it years ago because it obviously went viral, of course. And I remember thinking, like, thank God. I will never have to go on live TV. Thank God.

And now here we are. You make a plan and God laughs. God is cracking up. Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's like going to be one full minute of your time and then that's going to be it. And you'll probably only talk one. Five full minutes.

It's going to feel like one. It's going to be over in two seconds. You're going to be like, I wish I had 15. I promise you that won't be my line of thing. Oh, I promise you it will. You're going to love it. You're going to eat it up. I'm not.

I'm just like, I don't, I'm like, I've never been this nervous for anything in my entire life. It's a layup. No. Yes. I don't know what to do. Beta blocker. That's true. I've been training myself with my betas.

Yeah. They're so expired, though. Ooh. That would actually. Google says it's fine because the shelf life. Is of them is really good or I don't know if that's the way to like the right way to talk about shelf life. It just has a high shelf life. If it has a long long long long it's not a high it's not a width more show than height. Yeah it's like air base time height shelf life five so maintains up to 90% efficiency after five years past expiration date is what Google said. How many years has it been two you're fine and it's not like you're going to get like a really potent beta blocker that's a quaylude like it's not gonna like i want to like i need something stronger i think i'm gonna get really drunk at nine a m before the today show that will reflect

really well on your line of work it really would okay you so you can say today's show yeah i guess just comes out after yeah i mean i probably could have said it before too but i didn't want to talk about it before are you going to be on the today show part where i can be behind there with a window that say like, she killed my dog or something? I don't know where I will be sitting. I don't know anything. I'm going to wear this and just be right behind you like this. I'm hoping that what happens is that I'm in a room where it's like really not a lot of people

and my brain is not able to connect the dots. It's going to be this. I'm hoping that it's just like this. And like I'm not, my body doesn't process the fact that I'm being live. That I'm live. You're going to be completely koshe. Honest. You know that as soon as.

I finished the Today Show, we've recorded an episode of this podcast. I didn't know that. Yeah. So that should be fun. Okay. And you know what I've been telling myself that the only thing that helps, it will be over. No matter what happens, like it will be done. Even if I die on live television, those five minutes will end whether I'm here or not.

And life will go on. Ooh, I don't like that. I don't like how you, I don't like how you went there. That's not helping you? No, that made me, because it is crazy that like, if you were to die. It's legitimately helping me to think if I've dropped dead on the Today Show, life will still go on. They will haul my body off. And then they have to do the next segment.

And they will go on. Tons of shit goes out at the Today Show and they move on. Oh my God. Some bitch is going to bring out some pans. They'll be like, you need these for the summer. And your body's going to be just like bagged up. to go doggie bag okay this is helpful good oh this is helpful good good yeah good good good hey you we want to take a quick break to think a sponsor of today's episode my friends and family lola

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Surprise. Are you actually? Yeah, I just moved it. I'm going to keep this on for... You don't know what flight I'm on. I have, I found out. There's only a couple flights. didn't. Yeah, I did. What flight are you on? You're on the 11 a.m. to JFK. No, I'm not. Well, I am now, so. I'm on the 10 a.m. I have a dry scalp today, which is a bad day to put on the, put on the look. But yeah, I'm going back and then my timing kind of opened up until I go see my grandma at the end of the month in Michigan. But I am just in New York until I move in my apartment. That's such a good feeling. The feeling of being able to delete Street Easy and Zillow from my phone seriously, seriously feels like... Wait, you didn't tell everyone you got a new apartment.

Oh, on the bonus, I did. I got the apartment. I got the apartment. And deleting Zillow and Street Easy from my phone feels like I'm leaving like an abusive relationship. Like, these things have been playing in my face. These photos I've seen, I'm like, just a real photo? Like, it genuinely feels like deleting dating apps being like I found the one, you know? and something I found that was pretty cathartic after I've deleted these things was like

finding out that like as much as I hate landlords just because of my experience with landlords I think someone else that's equally up in the ranks in terms of evil spirits and like genuinely sadistic individuals sellouts can I guess yep sellouts Evil sadistic sellouts. Is it like something similar to landlord? Yeah, kind of. It's in the process. Oh, is it the broker?

Nope. Is it? Sometimes, but not always. Is it a realtor? Nope. Is it, it does have to do with housing? Yeah. Is it the mold inspector?

No. No, you wouldn't say a bad word about the mold inspector. Tell me. The photographer. you are just, if not more, because you're selling out deceitful as those you work for. It's like a dating app. Like, who does it help that the pictures don't reflect what's actually there? We're going to find out.

We're going to find out. And I'm holding you. We need to start holding these Zillow photographers accountable for what they're doing. Who are they? I think a lot of times it's the people who just own the house, uploading photos, right? There are some photographers and I've gone to places and I've toured places and then they they get posted on Instagram. And it's like these amazing architectural digest style photos of this like large space. And I'm like, no, no, no.

I'm commenting on them. I'm leaving comments. I'm saying, do not fall for this. Please. Use your eyes. Yeah. Look and see and heed my warning. Do not even go tour this place.

Because they're going to suck you in there. Sometimes it's the complete opposite, though. And they post kind of like bad pictures and it's an amazing place. I have not had that experience ever in my life. You're very lucky. You're a lucky girl. Oh, I haven't had it, but both Kat and Tristan's places. They were like crappy photos.

They were just whatever. And their houses are gorgeous. No, these people, like, they're genuinely getting a Getty photographers from the red carpet to take photos of this like 14 square foot apartment. And I'm like, oh my God, I could get a ping pong table. And I get there and I'm like, how do I get in through the door? Because the door touches the other wall. It's super crazy.

Yeah. It's not helping anyone. No. And this is this experience with the apartment that I was, that I have signed the lease on now. It was honest and it was truthful and it was real. Good. That must feel so amazing. I'm looking, I'm very much looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to, when do you move in? The 15th, two weeks. So exciting. It's going to be really good. great. It's a shame that you won't be there while I moved in. You'll, and I'm not, I'm vetting you over to see my current home. But we're going to go out to a celebratory dinner. Yeah. When I'm there, because I will have completed the today show. Unless I don't make it, we're going to go on a celebratory dinner. No matter what happens, we're going to celebrate. Can we do like 730? I would love to do something

later. Huh? No, like that's perfect 730. Why? Wait, what? I would love to do something later? No, like I was saying, like, in my mind, 730 is later. So that was me agreeing with 7.30. For a dinner? Wait, what, why are you confused? Because. Does that feel early to you?

That's like an early day. Oh, so to me, that's like the latest I would ever go. What time do you eat dinner? Five. And you don't eat a second dinner? I usually have a pretty substantial dessert. I get pink berry most. nights. What? I'm a bad girl. You're crazy. Yeah. Or I like pig out. Yeah. My, my eating schedule is weird because

I can't do breakfast. I'm really nauseous for the first four hours of the day. So I do lunch and then an early dinner and then crap. My crap meal. So from like four to ten, you're crap, you're crapping out? No, from like, wait, what? You're telling me, I'm just kind of repeating what you're saying. Lunch. Yeah, no, I got that. At like noon. Yeah.

Early dinner. And at five. At like five. And then maybe like eight, I'm doing crap. Oh. So I guess that could maybe 12, you could think about it as the 12 o'clock is my breakfast. The five o'clock is my late lunch. You're like intermittent pasting.

And then I just do crap for dinner. And then you're crapping out towards the end. Yeah. Oh, I kind of like finishing with crap. Yeah. I'm always topping with crap. What crap did you top with last night? A chicken finger.

A leftover cold chicken finger. Oh, like when you set up the word crap, like I was expecting some bullshit. That's not bullshit at all. One chicken finger? Well, I wasn't very hungry. I haven't been eating just due to extreme, extreme anxiety. You know, let me tell you me. I'll be home.

If I start, if you say crap to me, I want you to know the other day I put in a turkey sausage and just raw into the airfield. prior and then I just put cheese over top of it and then I cooked it for 10 minutes. That sounds good. Yeah, that's my, that's my crap. And I also will usually do fruity pebbles. I'll do, I'll do 10 frozen meatballs and some strawberries. You, you eat so well. No, I eat like I'm living in IKEA.

That's perfect. I do like it. Yeah. I'm not complaining at all, but crap to me would be like this bowl of shit. And sometimes I'll just do olives, like a jar of olives. That's disgusting to me. I like olives. But 7.30 to me, to most people, I think now is like an early dinner.

7.30 to me is the perfect time to eat supper. Moral of the story, 730 is fucking fabulous for dinner. It's pretty perfect. I will see you at 7.30. I'm looking forward to. Do you know why I want to do 730? Because you're done by 9? No, because I want to take a pretty significant nap before that.

Yeah. Because I all will deserve it. Did you share my stomach just now? Because I didn't get a chance to eat my chomp. No, why do you sound like Olivia D? You know, did you even stomach? Just now. I have to tell you something.

Yeah. I got these new flip flop. Oh, I saw them. They're like wedge flip flop. That's what my mom used to wear because she has planters fasciitis. Yeah, they're kind of, oh, you think these look like planter fichitis flop? It helps with your arch, yeah. Okay.

So I fell pretty bad getting out of an Uber. When? Yesterday. Okay. Just alone. Like hard. onto the, thank God it was grass, but like, I fell. And I've been thinking about it ever since. So how does that, how did you end up with the platform floss? Oh, I was wearing them and I'd fallen

because they're a different sort of shape. They're huge. Yeah, they don't go well with my ankle, so I'd fallen, like, pretty hard. And it was pretty embarrassing and everyone was like, are you okay? Where did you, do people see? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. It's like, Like to fall, it's just hard. Brooke, I tell you all the time, when I fall when I'm by myself, it's seriously like if a tree falls in the forest doesn't make a sound. Like, if you fall when you're alone, you genuinely don't make a sound because it's like, who am I doing this for?

A lot of people saw. Yeah. Did you make a sound or did you get up in? No, it was so soft because it was on the grass, but it was full body. It was like, it wasn't even like I protected myself with my hands when I fell down. I just gave up. Did your chest hit the ground? body like body slamming that's my favorite way for people to fall it was almost like a stop drop and roll

like you hit horizontal i don't even know i just remember being split i was splayed out it's almost like i was died like did a dive like a belly flop jump because i was just like i don't care i don't care about anything did you bounce i think on my way down i was actively like i don't care about everything it's all over anyway like i just hate this And so I just, like, completely had given up halfway through. That's so funny. Oh, my gosh, that was like when I got hit by that car. Yeah.

In the scooter, I was in the air for so long that I was like, am I still in the air? How embarrassing. Yeah, it was horrible. And then I hit the ground and I was embarrassed too. And the car yelled at me. And I was like, sorry. But that's like, I, like, getting hit by a car is less embarrassing than falling for sure. Yeah.

Don't you think? Yeah. Did you bounce? Hard hit. Like hit and just stuck the landing? Yeah. Wow. So that is that.

Wanted to tell someone. And you, you know what? You got back on your horse, those platform things. Yeah. No, I'm back in them. I think they're cute. Yeah. They're kind of like early 2000.

Yeah, they are. So, ewe. my shorts have been written up this whole time. Are they in you? No, they're just like, I just don't like the way that my body looks. Can we cut the episodes? It was just my, I don't want my face in it either.

Can we cut me out of this episode? Can you blur my whole body? Just do like one blur. Actually, remember that episode of Fairly Odd Parents where everyone's just a gray blob? Yeah. I just want to be like, I just want to. That one scared me really bad.

That was actually an amazing learning lesson that episode. No. Not today. What does it look like? No fur your toupee on. It looks ew? I don't think it could ever look at you. It looks ew.

I like it. Okay. But you will spend so much time getting bald. I don't think you should. You don't need to like, yeah, go backwards. Yeah. You want to hear something that happened to me last week? Yeah.

It was horrible. Tell me. So I was auditioning for something. What was it? What was it? Just something I'll never get like usual. And... How often do you audition for stuff?

Every noun then. Every long enough where a new batch of people has started working at the company that's sending me auditioned. They haven't seen my old auditions. Got it. And I had a door dash a ringlight. Because I don't know what happened on my ringlight and my move. and so and I'm like an adult

and I got walked up and someone was I saw that it was delivered someone was taking my package and I had to go stop a thief from taking my ring light I was like oops that's mine for my ring light

I had to stop pause pause whose ring light is that that's my ring light pause off my ring light adult man with a ring light was it like one of those packages where it like has the ring light

it's on display on package. Okay, cool. And what's suck. Hi, that's my ring light. Hi, that's my ring light. Pause off, please. Get your own. It was like a... You can't have it when I'm done. You can't because what if I get another audition? Right. What if I get a... What if you got your big break?

It could be my big break. You'll need your ringlight. With my ringlight that was a 12 inch ring light that barely sits on a desk. I don't know who this is for. It was from the children section of CBS that CVS now has a section of CBS that's the content creation section next to like hairbrushes and stuff. I love CVS.

Yeah, CVS is great. But don't you think it's crazy to... The content creation section? That piece of it all. I didn't know there was a content creation section. And it's like positioned towards kids. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Did you hear there's a major at some school that's content creation or influencing or something? That's what I was going to say to NAS. Next. Okay. Shit's a job. Totally. It's a job.

Did you see that? No influencers allowed sign at that place? Yeah. Do you have anything to say? Like, I was kind of, well, do you think? I know what you're going to say. What? No, I'm not going to say it because I don't want to be wrong.

I, it's obviously like you can come in if you're an influencer, you just can't be influencing, right? Also, where was it? Nantucket? Yeah. Like, you can go, like, Alex Earl could go. She just couldn't be inactive influence. She can't be under the influence. Yeah.

I think that's totally fine. Like, it was just like, it was just like weird to do, I guess. Because where was the sign? Just like for all of Nantucket? No, it was in a,

one store. It was in a basket store for bad. They sell baskets. Which like, the no influencer sign? Then just do like no filming. Well, I think that they don't want the group of,

I don't really know. I don't know. I don't know. But it works. Because like now I know about this basket store in Nantucket. You know? That was their plan all along.

I don't think it was because they doubled down. No influencers. No influencers. No influencers sign. So. Oh my gosh. I know her.

She's from Houston. Sparks debate. I like, I'm totally forward if it's like no filming. But then just say no filming. So that's, I think, where the confusion is for me. Slow news day in Nantucket, I guess. Was meant to be tongue and cheek?

Oh, was it? Oh, it was meant to be tongue and cheek? That's weird. Well, no, I think that like no influences. know it would be really funny and no influencer sign i mean they i don't okay i will say this like i don't think it was tongue and cheek in the way of like this will drive business because if you own if you own a basket store in nantucket like i really think that that might be just like a passive fun hobby that you do because i don't think that like i don't know anything about this store i'm just

guessing but you're probably not driving like i own a storefront in nantucket money from a basket shop is it a basket shop antique store basket shop yeah so I think that they probably like don't need the marketing so I think the no influence thing is probably like an inside joke

do you think they were going for like one of those like home goods type of signs like no it's not for our hearts are happy now that we're together type of vibe my cup is over my cup is overflowing because it's Sunday and I have coffee yeah something like that no I think that

I think that it was probably like a they probably talk crap about like influencers all the time and they're like wait we should have a sign up that would be or it's like it reminds me of like reminds me of something like no I don't know what I don't know what does it remind you of what does it remind you of like it kind of reminds me of my beware of the cat dormant but I don't know how to make the connection tongue and cheek tongue and I think that's the connection I don't know what tongue and cheek means it's like glib what What the hell? We're planning it. Is that from?

Like tongue and cheek? No, don't go back. Like, if, I hope Tim Dillon doesn't get a hold of that last like 30 seconds of the podcast because that's going to. Tongue and cheek means joke. Irony or funnier mark and described a statement that is, I know that. I know this, but where did tongue and cheek come from? Like this? Like, because you're like, I'm bad. Yeah, like I've been a bad girl. Yeah, 18th century facial gesture where people push their tongue into their cheek to signal. Contempt, hidden mockery or suppressed amusement. We should start doing that across the room at parties.

Like when we... No, anytime we do a joke on this podcast, we shouldn't laugh anymore. We should go, no influencers. No influences are loud. I hope they don't buy all over a basket. Stay out of my antique store. Exactly. We're joking.

It looks really good within your ball to do that. Day out. Hey, guys. We want to take a quick break to thank you. a sponsor of today's episode, Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand,

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Now, I just texted Izzy and Brooke last night. Was it last night that I texted you? Maybe two nights ago. Two nights ago, I started and... Oh, it was yesterday. Was it yesterday? Yeah. Okay, so like Pop Chips obviously sent us some pop chips.

and I was kind of like casually stacking on them. And then I started, I began to get a little more real. And I started to kind of do handfuls of pop chips into my mouth. To make a long story short, I put a whole bag of pop chips into my body in one sitting. I was in bed. I ate a whole bag of the sea salt and vinegar pop chips. They're so, so good. They're so good.

They're healthier than. I know. I don't feel bad, which is nice. You don't feel guilt. It's really nice. It's nice. They're made with avocado oil. They're super crunchy, have bold flavors, and pop chips are popped potato chips so you don't get greasy fingers, which is important because I'm not touching my phone with snack cans.

You know, we always keep it real with you. And Pop Chips is doing an always real giveaway to experience pop culture IRL at that awesome music fest. Go to popchips.com slash Brooke and Connor to enter, and you might just win a three-day VIP trip for two. Yeah, I'm actually going to that iconic awesome music. festival. And imagine like you were there too, all because you're just eating pop chips and having opinions. That's destiny. That's cinema. Never fried. Always real. Period. Hey guys. We want to take a break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Skims. You've heard me say it before, but Skims really does just keep getting better. And recently, I've been wearing cotton everything,

especially as the weather warms up and I just want to be comfortable. And when it comes to Cotton basics, nothing beats skims. The Skims' Cotton jersey straight-leg pant is one of those pieces I keep reaching for. The fabric is incredibly soft. The stretch is just right, and they're the perfect mix of comfortable and flattering. Whether I'm relaxing at home or heading out to run a few errands, they make getting dressed feel so easy while still looking cute. Shop skims cotton and all of my favorite pieces at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Okay. So overall, my take on that is, I guess I don't

really care. How about you? Oh, I couldn't give less of a show. Okay, cool. Sounds good? I was never going to go. Sounds good to me. I was never. Oh, look at this picture of us. I genuinely miss when you had hair. I have hair. I miss it. It just, just feels like I just don't remember what you look like with hair. What are you doing on your phone? I'm looking up things to talk about. Oh, I have stuff to talk about. Oh, we'll do it. Yeah, I wish I was in West Virginia. Why? It's my, it's one of my favorite places. Yeah, I'm reading your book right now, and you mentioned West Virginia like right away. Isn't that scary? That is really weird. And I was kind of like, I don't believe West Virginia is real. Yeah. And like, when you have a plan, God, God be, when you have a plan,

and God be like, that was God when he was reading Phoebe. God when he was reading Phoebe, be like, oh, yeah. So yeah, God sent me to West Virginia, and I loved it so much. West Virginia was amazing. It's just, it was nice to be really removed.

Yeah, if you find yourself in that part of the country, which is funny, because remember when I was, I was in, I was in Charlotte, North Carolina, and then I had to go to Charleston and I was driving Xavier and Maggie because we had a show in Charleston and I was driving and then two hours into the drive and I made them wake up early

so we could spend the day in Charleston wake up early we couldn't do the complimentary breakfast I said pee pack your bags we're leaving at nine we leave we drive two hours and Xavier and I was thinking to myself I thought Charleston was on the water maybe it's on a lake

Charleston's not on the water sure is I think Charleston's pretty landlocked South Carolina? North Carolina? Yeah. Fully, it's on the coast. Oh, no, I'm thinking of Charlotte.

Yeah. Are you talking about Charleston, South Carolina? Sure. I don't actually know. No, I think it's North Carolina. Charleston. Oh, South, sorry. It's okay.

So, yeah, it's right there on the, it's on the water there. Yeah, it's in the water in South Carolina. Yeah. So I was driving and driving, and I was like, huh, maybe it's on like a, maybe it's on like a bay, and the bay comes all the way in. And then Xavier goes, I don't know how to tell you this. He zooms out on the map. We're in West Virginia, and we were one hour away from Charleston, West Virginia.

Yeah. Awesome. It wasn't in your time to go there yet. No, it wasn't. And I'm so glad we got the time that we did. It was so fun. We went to the New River Gorge National Park. Preserve and preserve.

And preserve, I think. It's the newest national park. It's the newest national park. It opened in 2020. Is it the second? longest river or did I make that up? It's a second. Behind the Nile or the second oldest.

Oldest. Which is, yeah, because it was ironic that it was called the new river gorge. Yes, yes. It's the oldest one. Yeah. And we went whitewater rafting. I miss it. I miss the rapids.

I just never pictured you on a whitewater raft. Everyone who's been saying that, like, how much do they have to pay you to, like, get you out here? I like that kind of stuff. It's just a matter of like, what I don't like is, like, active, like, like I don't like hiking, you know? I don't like exerting myself necessarily. But like I love like nature and water.

Sure. You know? Yeah. So white water rafting is good. My concern was just if I was going to be seasick or not. And you don't get seasick on the rapids. So I was fine. I don't totally get how you get seasick on the ocean, but not the river.

I think it's just so slow and calm. And then the parts that are like, whoa, are like three seconds. Yeah. Well, you did it. You did a great job. I loved it. And we filmed a bunch of it and it'll be released in some capacity with our, with our family over T-Mobile.

That's the thing about family is. It can look like anything. It can look like anything. And I found mine in West Virginia. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. That was so much fun.

I haven't talked to you about anything for a long time. You know, I went to that wedding. I went to Paige and Tommy's wedding. Oh, yeah. And New York. I didn't see any pictures of you. Well, here's the thing. And I'll tell you why you didn't see any pictures of me.

one, because as I was getting ready, I haven't worn my tux in a while. Somehow I have two tuxes, and I have no idea when I... That's crazy that guys can just wear the same thing to every wedding. It is crazy, but when you think about the fact that it was 98 degrees, and girls are wearing like a flowy dress, and I'm in a three-piece suit, and then I'm going to tell you this next part, I have not put on my tux in a while. I have my body has changed a lot

since the last time I put the tucks on I'm going oh maybe it's because I just had lunch No you look great thanks do you think you bulked like muscle I'm talking about the pants though my glutes are getting a little bigger

I've been down to put on my socks my crotch rips out like I busts through the crotch I completely so I go You busted through the front of the crotch? Yeah. What?

Nothing. You think I can't bust out the crotch? No, I did not say that. The way that my thighs had filled up the pants, busted out the crotch. So then I throw on my other tux pants. They are like skinny. Like they're like fitted. You know, like I wear kind of wider-legged trousers.

I forgot that my tux pants are like fitted. So I'm already like uncomfortable. I'm sweating so much from like my shins in my knees, which like I didn't even know you could sweat there that like it's sticking to me. And then I was sweating so profusely that I posted a video. Like I had to sneak away from the reception and go into this like like the venue area and take off my jacket and sit next to a fan and I posted it. And everyone was like, were really concerned for you. They were like, what's going on? Because I looked so unwell in this thing.

That's why there was no pictures of me because I was sweating so much that I looked. I looked. I'm got to show you. That's my least favorite thing is when you like post something because you're like, ha ha, which I just like I did with my lip. And then everyone's like, you need to go to the hospital. And I'm like, I was like, no. That's not what I meant.

We're really, really, really scared for you. I'm going to show you here we go I'm going to put this on the that's how tight my pants oh you look like you just got out of the new river gorge I'm soaking from head to toe

look at when I look at my jacket for the first time you look handsome thank you that's really nice but look at the I miss when you look at this oh my tucks my god so like I felt disgusting obviously it's like the hottest group of people ever anywhere

like Paige Lorenz's what Like, obviously it's everyone's so, so 10 out of 10. And I'm, I just complete last couple days on earth vibes from me. Just like sick, sweating on the ground on my knees inside the house. These classy folks walk by it. I'm like, soaked, head to toe. That is tough. I'm sorry.

Yeah, people kept being. But I would have been so jealous of that sweat. Because, you know, I can't work up a sweat like that. People were like, where are you? And I was like, I couldn't tell them. I'm in the, I'm in the portable potty. Yeah. Next to that they were pumping AC into it.

And like, I was dealing with the smell because I was like, I need to be next to this flow. You should bring a portable little fan with you. It died. You need to bring the shark, um, chill pill. You know, I love the chill pill. Yeah. Highly recommend the chill pill if no one, if anyone needs it. Have you seen obsession?

Yeah. Why are you acting like that? Because I talked, I talked about it a ton. I don't remember that. Was Brooke gone when I talked about obsession? Oh yeah, you were. I think you were. What did you say?

What are you going to say? What did you say? Well, I said it was a fabulous movie and people yearn for new faces in film and TV. And I thought it was fabulous acting across the board. And it didn't leave me feeling unsettled the night that I saw. but the more that I sat with it, the one week later I was like, oh, I'm like freaked out about that.

It was making me feel sick. I love Edina. Adina? Not at all. What's her name? Um, something kind of similar, but not really.

Indy? Yeah, Indie Navarette. She's like so gorgeous and talented. Yeah, the acting was incredible. If I could conjure up my nightmare film, it would be, puke and dead cat and that was and that was that for me not her being stuck being obsessed with someone that she's like no that honestly doesn't make sense to me what they kind of lost me

because so he wished for her to love him more than anyone else yeah how does that translate into what she became it was a descent into madness yeah i just like really didn't understand the pipeline of like I want her to love me to like her shitting on the floor and like throwing up and cooking a cat it was just like you she lost love you more than anything like drives you to

insanity yeah yeah like it was like she was unable to like think or do it like love loved him more than breathing loved him more than like going to the bathroom loved him more than but like why do you love someone so much that you have to cook their cat I hope you never figure out That would just like never like I've I've had some pretty intense lemurance

I've just like it I wasn't relating to It's certainly not supposed to be a relatable film right But I think that what you're feeling is the completely what like the intention behind it was like it should be like I just kept going like why is she doing that good okay good good yeah

why is that girl beating that girl's face into her sewing well until she that I know that made sense oh

that I'm like okay like jealousy yeah jealousy on steroids like extreme obsession got that part I didn't get the like that made sense

I just didn't get the like cooking the cat that you only lost her at the cat well there was a lot of stuff where I was like why are you pooping on the floor

Because I love you. See, that's where I was like, how did we get here? She never pooped. She did something. She did, I think, poop on the floor. I don't think she pooped. I think she pooped and peed and puked. I guess I'll just piss on the float.

Yeah. Yeah, she had to wait for him to get home. She couldn't go to the bathroom. Dogs do that all the time and they love you. That's a good way. That's a good way to put it just like pure, just. Unadulterate. like unconditional love.

I understood the taping of the door. Like, yeah, I got that part. It was just there were some things I was like, I'm not following your thought process. Which again, as you said, like good. Yeah. Like, don't put yourself in those shoes because you'll fall.

Those are huge shoes. Because they're for plantar fasciitis. But yeah. I wish I wanted to go on Reddit after, but I'm blocked from Reddit. Reddit does not enter my is that guys ever I know but I like going on after movies

they need to make a new Reddit that's like for people with jobs they need to make a new Reddit that's like kind kindness Kind Reddit Yeah let's make kind Reddit Where is Nathan Fielder Dumb Starbucks and kind Reddit

Two things that will never exist I miss dumb Starbucks I miss Nathan Me too I saw a picture of him recently Where He's a little older than I remember You know he's like not as old as you would think he is really he's like pretty early 40s he kind of aged like they used to in the past what do you mean like george costanza you know like george castanza you know he's always

had more of like a mature look you know even when he was like 20 he would like wow yeah that's what my hair looked like when i looked in the mirror and saw that one gray hair i saw nathan fielder yeah i get in the mirror it's so like men really do get to like get better looking as they age he's funny Yeah Yeah He is Yeah Hot take

Hot take Nathan's like Like tongue and cheek What? Nothing I watch something else too Cool I need to go see

The Odyssey so I can talk about it And I need to go see I'm gonna go see Spider-Man I hear people are crying at Spider-Man And I forget that like Spider-Man is always sad I know but I forget that like I don't know

I guess I cried at remarkable remarkably bright creatures. What did you forget? That like, people take it, like, too... Oh, no, it's really... Spider-Man's really emotional. Although I've never seen Tom Hollins. I don't think I could ever cry at a superhero movie.

You didn't cry when Uncle Ben died? No. That's, like, to me, like, Titanic level. Titanic is Uncle Ben as Martin Sheen's Uncle Ben passing. Titanic is like... What is it called fictional reality? I've also never made it through Titanic. Do not speak on my film.

But Uncle Ben dying is like one of the worst things in the world. I'll have to rewatch. How are they still coming out with Spider-Man's? I don't get that either. I don't really know. No way home. They're different. Spider-Man, no way home.

Spider-Man, I'm heading there. Spider-Man, on my way. Spider-Man, forgot my keys. Spider-Man, doors unlocked. Spider-Man, did I turn off my oven? That's funny. That's genuinely funny. Thanks.

And you should add that to your stand-up. Write it down. Aren't you actually writing it down? I just like what? You didn't even laugh. No, I'm not like a big laffer. But I really did think that was like smart and funny. Thanks.

Well, we could clip it if we, you want to clip it? No, I don't know if we should clip it. But I think it was like you could workshop it. Oh my God. Well, I was workshopping it in a real hot. I think you should take it and continue You need to workshop it and use it in stand-up.

Okay, let me try it again. Let me try it again. No, no, no, no, no, because I want to clip it. No, because I want to clip it. Okay. How did we start? It doesn't mean. I don't want to do it anymore. I lost it. Okay. I got turned off. Just something to think about.

I'm not even in the mood in you. I miss laughing with you. Yeah, me too. You're not yourself with your bald head. No, I've just been very tongue-in-cheek lately, not really laugh mode. Exactly. That's why I didn't laugh. You should have done that after I did. I was thinking like, oh, this.

is smart as you were going. And I was actually thinking like I can't, I want to join him with him. You could have joined Ben. I was, Brooke, I would have loved if you joined him. Connor, I was trying. My wheels were turning and nothing was coming out. You know what I think that we, we don't do? What? Sit with it for a second

and like, let our wheels turn. I would have needed 35 minutes to think of a return. No, no, you're very. I'm not quick. You're witty. Yeah, you are. I'm witty, but I'm not quick. You're witty and quick and you're on your toes. I'm witty, but I'm not quick. Your tongue and cheek is on my arches.

Your most definitely planterficiatis on your toes with your tongue in your cheek and the shape of an L on your forehead. See, like that's really quick. But it's not funny. Like, you can be quick all you want. You can say whatever you want as fast as you want. I thought that was funny. Oh, thanks. I appreciate it.

Clip it. I think you're an amazing guy. There was like a full thread. of people being like, I fucking hate when Connor wants to clip something. I was like, I didn't know that people were, I'm like, oh my God, I'm not always clip farming you guys lately. Just kidding. Do you want to hear something really gross?

Yeah. What I did to my lip? Yeah. You know, I still can't see. Well, so if you get squeamish, like, I'm warning you, this was not okay what I did. Basically, I don't know what happened. Okay. I woke up.

I did get lip filler. two weeks ago, but my lips were fine. So, and then I called the dermatologist and she says she thinks this is un-lip filler related. I woke up with like a little like blood blister on my lip. That happens. Which happens, I think. Fine, whatever.

And I fucked with it. Pretty bad. Sure. And now my entire face is a bruised lip and purple. That's the end of the story. I'm not, I'm just not going to tell you how I fucked with it that's the squeamish part. Did you pop it like a pimple?

I stuck a safety pin in it. Oh, Brooke. But I sterilized it with alcohol. Are they you supposed to sterilize it with a lighter? I think. Like parent drap. I think alcohol's fine. They have a lighter in that little cat?

And like obviously I shouldn't have done that. Y'all don't need to tell me that. Like, oh, I know, baby. I'm paying the price. Yeah. So I was bleeding a lot. Out of your lip? Mm-hmm.

Okay. And my problem is that I just, I'm a picker and I can't let things, I just can't let things be. I think that goes for physical things on my body and just situations. I can't let anything be ever. Everything needs to be handled as soon as possible. Like I've never had a scab because a second something starts to scab, it's gone. I've picked it. They need to make scabs you can just put on and pick off, like, artificial scabs.

Like glue. Yeah. Yeah. We already did that. Yeah. I've been there. When I got to my new apartment and I had a box of miscellaneous items and I had like six bottles of glue because I forgot that I went through that phase in my adult life where I wanted to put glue on my hands. And I was like, no.

Get the glue. Get it out of it. You don't need six things of Elmer's glue. Actually, I don't need glue for anything. What's the last time you used glue? Genuinely, Connor, I was looking for my glue yesterday. I shit you not, period. And if I was just being quick, I would be like, oh, I don't have anything.

If you're P-O-V you're quick. I don't know. I actually, like, because I said that I blanked. I'm a slower girl. Uh, Muhammad Ali. That was a compliment. Yeah. That wasn't, yeah.

That's just quick. That, yeah, but it wasn't funny. Well, that was in reference to a different video. What was it? Oh, okay. So I didn't get. I don't. I don't.

really know what the clip is, but the tweet. Name a woman. No, the tweet was it was Kamala Harris. And so the caption is, me when chat GBT's down and someone asked me my name, sorry. Were you laughing at what I said or your sneeze? My sneeze. Her sneeze is funnier than what I just said. No, that's funny. I forget what you said. I told him a slower girl. I'm one of those girls that's a bit slower. I'm slower than you might think I am. Me, when chat GPT's down and someone asks me my name, and it's coming out. Mohamed Ali. Okay, that's funny.

That's funny. That's funny. I like it. I like it. I like it. It's topical. Oh. Muhammad Ali.

Yeah, that's a funny clip. That's funny. I think the people that come up with those kinds of captions are the backbone of our society. What's that girl's name, that video that we watched last week where she's She's gagged. Corinna. Sorry.

I think I'm allergic to your bald. Don't say that. You need to be sweet. Be sweet. Say one sweet thing. I have said so many sweet things to you. I told you you looked handsome in that sweating video. I told you your body's been looking amazing.

I told you you're funny and quick. I told you that I think you're a really good guy. I can't say anything sweet about your head. You need to say something sweet about my bald, bald head. Brooke? I don't like it. it makes me feel weird. You knew I wasn't gonna,

you knew, you did it to unsettle me. No, I didn't. Did you expect me? I'm not bald to, I'm not bald to convenience you or inconvenience you. I didn't think you were. This was never, this, my, my baldness is not to impair you in any way. I'm exploring my body.

You did it to get a jarred reaction from me. No, Brooke, I did it for attention for them. But on, no, in no world did you think Burke's gonna think I look really Brooke I didn't again I didn't do the I didn't do the bald bald head for you were thinking I just didn't think that you'd have this adverse of a reaction

I don't you know I'm not To the bald community I'm sorry I didn't know I did not know it's the cute it's the shiny I've had an experience of someone in my life With a shinier balder head It's just left a negative taste in my mouth Left a bitter taste in my mouth I can't speak on him right now

It was a hem it was like a teacher type of person who I just just didn't care for no history no math no I'm also not gonna say because it would really narrow down and it's not even like it wasn't even like anything happened it was just like

the only thing that I associate with this person is his bald shiny head like that is all he is kind of you can't be a person with a bald shiny head and have that not be your whole thing Unless like You're like You really have to be like

Bald is beautiful And bald does not have to be You don't I don't mean to be bald As baldphobic as I'm being like You're being so boldphobic I am But I have no problem with like bald With like a little bit of something

And I there are sometimes people With this types of baldness Totally actually I think we should delete all of my No it's okay No now I'm getting scared Because like some people like medically Have to be that bald and that's fine Brooke, you're so fine.

No, and that's completely fine. Like, I'm not talking about it. I'm also talking about, like, what you've done, like this creepy man type of situation. I love bald women. Oh, I want to go on record. I love bald women. I have no problem with people that are bald for all different types of reasons. It's this archetype of creepy man that you're going for that I don't like.

I'm not going for creepy man. In fact, I looked up fun prostit. And this was the least creepy option. What were the other? Like half men, half fruit bat. I just, now I feel like I'm being a little bit gaslit. Brooke! I don't feel like it's insane for me to look at you right now and be like, ew.

I genuinely like, me and Izzy were like, oh my gosh, I kind of like this on me. Izzy? It grew on me. It grew. It grew. It did. You have to bald people Like you have that like and I think maybe sitting with me for the next couple hours today

Will like help ease you do that because Brooke I'm a I'm your friend I'm your neighbor doesn't feel like it you got to be sweet doesn't feel like it It's this type of person and baldness That you're embodying Maybe if I would have put on like glasses I think that would have made it a fuck ton worse. Yeah, I'm just me here with... When do you think you'll take it off?

I don't know. I really... Do you think you'll wear it all day? I want to drive with my windows down. My bald, bald head. You're not going to feel it. You're not going to feel the wind on your scalp. Yeah, I think I will. No, you won't because that's not your scalp.

Do you see what I mean? Yeah. Why are you touching your toe like that? I don't know. Jesus. Well, now I feel. feel bad. No, it's fine. I'm just saying like if I ever end up bald, that's going to be unfortunate that like... I think you're an amazing guy in so many ways and you're not going to,

you won't end up this bald because this is not the person you are. Well, I'm telling you right now, if I'm balding at all, like, I'm getting rid of my hair. Yeah. I know, it's just like you're, you're, it's also, please don't forget you have a mustache. Is it mustache? You're doing bald and mustache and like, you're literally doing love. bones. I am not doing lovely bones. If anything, Mr. Clean. Can we look up Mr. Clean? He doesn't have a touch. But like the thing about Mr. Clean is like what's his whole thing? Like his whole personality is being bald. No, he's like Howie Mandel. He's like a germaphobe. Oh, I guess I don't think of Howie Mendel is just being bald. Yeah, can we look up Howie?

Like Mr. Clean is like shiny because yeah, I guess that is his whole. I feel totally fine with Howie. Yeah, that doesn't affect me negatively at all. Oh, look at him with hair. Wow, he looks like a loof. He looks great. He looks like someone that I know. I know who he looks like. Who?

Remember that guy that Adam Melcher, kind of? Oh, I could see that. Do you know that I went to the doctor to chat about my old symptoms? And I was older than the doctor. That sucks. I remember you talking about that this weekend. Yeah. Yeah.

There's just a list of people we should never be older than. I should never be older than a doctor. I don't want to be older than an Apple Genius bar employee. Do you have this list on your phone already? I have a couple. Okay. I don't want to be older than my water rafting guide. No, that sucked.

And I don't want to be older than an Olympian. Olympian, I'm totally fine with. I don't want to be older than a professional athlete. I'm totally fine with that. I understand that they're young. The reason I don't want to be older than a professional athlete is because in my mind I'm like I still have time to do that. Yeah.

I sometimes every once in a while I'll get hit with those TikToks that are like Tony Morrison wrote her first book when she was like 50 and then just all these accomplishments that these amazing people made like later in life and they always find me right when I need them. I'll send you one later. That's because your phone is tracking your data. Yeah. I have one more thing to say before we go.

Yeah. It's possible it's slip to my mom. mind. Really? Yeah. Did you see that this for us? Brothers started a podcast or maybe just Cole? I think it's just Dylan.

Oh, it's just Dylan. Yeah, I remember what I was going to say. Fuck. I saw this TikTok that was this girl interviewing these younger boys. Like, do you think it's possible for a woman to be attractive over 30? And they all said, no. Fabulous. And I'll leave you with that.

I hope you have a good day. And sorry about being so harsh. And I hope. that when this comes out, I'm still alive. Me too. But if I'm not, like, it wasn't meant to be. I hope when this comes out, I'm still bald. Wait, now I'm, like, horrified that I manifested something bad in the space. Everything is going to be good. I'm going to be fine.

And you'll be okay because you have to. I'll be okay because I literally have to be. And I've done things that have, I've done things that have made me feel the same way. I've done so many nerve-wracking things and I've come out the other side. I'm stronger than I think I am. I'm stronger than I think I am and I can do hard things and I will do them. and I'm going to have my chomp because my stomach's curbling. Okay.

All right. Thank you guys for listening. Love you. We're going to the bonus. Hope you had fun. I really can't remember what happened today. This cap is pretty tight. It's cutting off the blood flow to my ears and nose and mouth.

Throat. Goodbye. Thank you.