Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Hitting Rock Bottom

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  This week, Brooke and Connor are celebrating big. Connor gets serenaded for his birthday (2 weeks late) and Brooke reveals the cover of her book Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It! Plus, they talk about hitting rock bottom and answer more of your questions!  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to https://www.goodwipes.com/BNC, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Goodwipes—because butts deserve better. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to http://RocketMoney.com/bandc today Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/5vj8zukj #CashAppPod  As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Visit gemini.google/students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 The Never Ending Birthday 0:56 Intro  1:18 Walking Around LA 2:30 Feliz Cumpleaños 5:02 An Energy Shift 7:35 Phoebe Berman Cover Reveal!!! 13:56 Phoebe Berman Synopsis  17:59 Goodwipes 19:30 Rocket Money 21:25 Getting Attacked By Bugs 23:12 Time Isn’t Real 24:19 Circling Back On NATO 25:39 TSITP Recap 28:28 Diving Into Moby Dick 31:13 House By The Cerulean Sea Review 35:02 Happy Friday Mr. Fantasy 37:30 Answering Your Questions 43:47 Cash App 46:06 Google Gemini 47:03 Breaking Down at Trader Joe’s 48:39 Moving Rock Bottom 50:24 Is Cheating OK? 52:40 Absolutely Drenched  53:23 Favorite Movies  55:55 Hooking Up With Your Roommates 58:05 Copying Your Roommates & Femcels 1:02:37 Worst Hyperfixation  1:05:28 See You In Bonus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Do you want to start podcasting? Yeah, we are podcasting right now. I'm so sorry to have such a bad stomach cake on your birthday. episode. Oh man, listen. I heard you got you a dime piece, man. Wasn't them looking good in George. So for those of you that are just listening Conner's Institute today. Oh yeah. And the stud is decked out in the most amazing birthday decorations courtesy of Ismerelda, our perfect perfect producer. And it's just glorious. It's a Western theme. It's just Connor's wearing a cowboy hat. he looks so handsome.

Now he has like a little like wanted frame around his pretty pretty face and it's all amazing and very great. It's all it's all really great. It's so special. I do you don't need my birthday to be over right now. Okay. It's been the, it's the birthday that ever ends. It'll be over in like 15.

Does that work? Yeah, that's fine. That works. I got you these. Why? Well, because I. That's so sweet. Why did you get me something for your birthday?

I didn't know today. Connor got me flat. No, today, eight days after my birthday would still be my birthday. Thank you, honey. Of course. Honey? Honey. Thank you, howdy, honey.

Okay. Wow. They're dried. Yeah, that's awesome. Get them into water. I don't have to even start to think about caring about them. No. I mean, caring for them.

I cared about them so deeply. I didn't even catch that. But, like, for them. That's so sweet. Someone in the edits would catch that. Yeah. I don't even care about them a pretty good bit, but I don't have to care for them in a way that would be hard for me, like watering them. It is hard.

Oh my gosh, I just realized there's flowers that I got for your sister are just sitting in that bowl. That's fine. That's really nice that you get flowers for people. I love getting flowers for people. That's a nice thing to do. So, I have to tell you about what I just did. Okay.

So I was walking here. I was down the street on set. You were down the street on set. I was getting fitted for a wig. Okay. Can you tell us for what? No, I can't. I don't think.

but it's not even like secret project vibes. I just think I legally can't say anything yet. Okay. But is the energy off in here or what's going on? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, Lauren, not me looking at Lauren and saying is the energy off.

We have not figured it yet. We have not hit our stride yet. But Connor, I want you to know that it's okay. No, I know it's okay. But I just want you to know that I haven't gone to sleep since yesterday because I had to get on that flight at 4 a.m. today from Austin to get here. Now, I'm walking here, so I leave that set. Happy birthday to you.

Fabulous. Thank you. Happy birthday. So you were sensing. There was an energy to the room that you were sensing, and that was what it was. Can everyone give me a dollar for the fact that I called? I was like, something is very, very off here today. Yeah, we were waiting.

And it was because they were four beautiful young men. four beautiful, talented young men that absolutely needed to sing their hearts at. They needed to, they were lying in weight like the eggs in my peel. Yeah. Sorry, I was anticipating them

and so I couldn't be here. I wasn't present because I was in anticipation. And did you hear me saying like, I feel like I'm dreaming something's weird? Yeah, yeah. Like snap out of it, snap out of it. You could sense them. They're a part of your DNA.

I adore them, those young men. Yeah. So for audio listeners, there was a mariachi band that came in the studio. And they performed their hearts out a pretty good bit. Oh my gosh. There was not even a bingo card that could have had that on it that I would have put money on. It was hard to figure out where to look. That was, you know when they say like, I'm uncomfortable around people singing happy birthday to you?

When there's four very talented gentlemen belting Felice Coupilagno's at two, a T, maybe. You're like fluent, fluent. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. It is difficult to pick. I couldn't pick which one was my favorite. I mean, I freaking loved them all.

I didn't really look at the trombonists because I was just feeling weird about angling my head that way. They were aimed at you. They were like right there. Their horns were in your ear. So, I mean, that was freaking amazing. My stomach hurts like so bad. And I'm sorry to keep saying that. It's just like if a tree falls.

in the forest and no one's there. Do you hear it? I don't hear it. I wasn't there. No, that's why I like, I need you to know my stomach hurts. Otherwise, you wouldn't, if I didn't say anything. It's, would it make a noise? And that, I guess they are different. It's just a car beeping. Did you think it was the mariachi band? Yeah, that they were playing another song. No, I think it's just a car beeping. Oh, the mariachi band is in deep shit in the parking lot. Yeah. I hope they're okay. They will be. They will always be okay as long as they have each other. and their instruments. And the music in their heart.

Yeah. We are not making sense today and it's really starting to scare me and we're only, we've only just begun. How are we supposed to be expected to make sense after that? No, I don't know. I'm whip-wapped and has to recalibrate. Yeah. My heart's pounding.

Should I do my thing? Do you feel like that will be a good time with my thing or bad time for putting? Do it because I think that would shift us into chatting. Okay. Well, I hate to like, I can't follow that up. And also it's your birthday. So, sorry to do this now. It's just how the cookie has crumbled in terms of dates.

But I'm going to show you guys the cover for my book, which is incredibly exciting, except not that exciting because it's already happened by this time. The episode comes out. Everyone will have seen it already for the most part. Where will they have seen it? Like on my Instagram and stuff. Oh, so you're like, it comes out earlier in the day of the day that this comes out. So I guess the people who.

don't follow me on Instagram will not have seen this. Well, your, your thousands of, my boss, your thousands of bots will, my bots will have seen this. I don't know if my, the listeners have seen it yet, but the bots have seen it. And that's all that matters at the end of the day. That's your, that's your family. So, I love my flowers. I'm going to put them right here. Yeah, so here is my book cover. And this is not the finished book. This is just a bound manuscript with the book cover, which is the closest thing that we have. So far, the book hasn't gone to print yet but here it is everyone and Connor I had fully prepared to give this to you the only copy that exists and for your birthday you're gonna say but but then I realize I need to

film stuff with it because it because I need a few weeks but then I'm gonna send it to you and sign it I'm gonna so happy birthday thank you yeah and you'll have the only I will take that like yeah like a Snickers in the future yeah in the Snickers like a Snickers what's that you're You'll eat it up like a Snickers bar. Oh, God. Yeah. So yeah, here's my book cover. It's incredible designed by my dear friend, Sarah Hogan.

She's an amazing cover designer. I'm obsessed with her. And here's Phoebe. I don't know what else. Do you have any questions? I don't know what else to say. I don't know how did you book cover. I want to say I also had contributed a little bit to picking that.

You did. There were so I had some really amazing choices. And this is where I landed and I was worried. there were two I was stuck between and maybe you'll see them maybe you'll see the runner up but I was really scared that I was going to be thinking about the runner up and I haven't thought I have not thought about the runner up once since I've seen this it's really it's glory it's really great I really love it it really speaks to Phoebe's essence she's preschool teacher and she loves just like making lists and art supplies and markers and so this really is just very

reminiscent of her and I think it's also like cute and flirty you guys know it's cherry season and everything like that there are cherries on the cover I had a cherry. today. You did? Yeah, three. Oh my God, you must have known. Oh, my gosh. There was an energy in here. Yeah, there's always an energy in here. And the book comes out on May 26. Oh, this is the crux of what I have to say. The book comes out in May 26, 2006, but you can pre-order it now, anywhere that you can get books. And pre-ordering is how they base New York Times bestseller list on. So pre-orders are very important. And I did not even realize that. I only know that because Hank's cookbook. Yeah. it's a pretty big deal to pre-order someone's book.

So this is just a girl sitting in front of a camera asking people to pre-order her book. That would mean the world to me. And I think that you guys will love it. And I'm so excited. And May 26th, 2020-6, here we come. Let's get those pre-orders in. And you think that's it? Am I missing anything?

Pre-orders? Pre-order the link will be in the bio of my Instagram And do you mind if we put it in the bio of this episode? Not at all. As he says, we can put it in the bio of this episode. And what do you think? Your heart's pounding? Is it because of the mariazza?

No, no, please. I don't know. It just hasn't stopped since the boys came in. Okay. Connor's still reeling from the boys. And, oh, do you want me to, how about I do this? How about I can finally read like what the synopsis

on the back of the book? Is that a good idea? Yes, that's brilliant. Okay. Because you guys can log it on good reads. Wait, why would you want them to log it? Like, this is true a question. Yeah.

Why would you want them to log it if they can't read it yet? Because you have a want-to-read shelf on good reads. Oh, so they would log in your wish list? Yeah, put it on in your TBR. You're to be read. I want to read this. It's great exposure and shit like that. Shouldn't fuck like that.

So I haven't logged it yet because we're, right now I have not revealed the cover. It is last week right now. So I have not logged the book on the book. good reads yet. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, no. I'm worried about you. I'm out of it, man. And I keep like looking past the camera instead of at the camera. Um, okay, hold on pulling up. I'm a little tired. Oh my gosh, I'll drink by Celsius. Like, there's so many solutions, you know. And this is also something interesting that I didn't know about books. I always thought that like authors just like wrote the back of their books. But they don't. There's like a whole team for doing shit like that.

It can be so important to have a team. There's so many people. people that go into a book. People say that it's an isolating process to write a book. I have found that to be the opposite of the truth. Phoebe has a team and Team Phoebe is an amazing group of people and I love them all deeply. So you're not the kind of writer like Ernest Hemingway that would go and lock himself away and get drunk every single day until he came up with like an, what did he write? Um, so um, what did Ernest Hemingway write? Like, exactly. What did he write? The old man in the sea

For whom the bell tolls I don't, the sun also rises I feel like that's the most The one that I've heard Oh it's crazy that Ernest Hemingway Like I'd speak about him as if he's my family member I was just thinking that like for such a name Like I don't necessarily know what he wrote

For whom the bell tolls I have heard of those books I wouldn't be able to connect them back to him Yeah Anyways I just got really shy about reading the... Can I read it? Yeah.

Oh my gosh, it's long. Buckle up. Okay. Meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonists in Phoebe Berman. Nope. Yeah. Meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonists in Phoebe Berman. There's no fucking way.

Let me see that. First line. We've been having some extreme glitches. No, that's right. No, it's not. It's in her. Oh. the protagonist is inside of her body

this is wrong let me text it you know what we start this episode over hey hey guys like I'm so thrown off by the Marriott

just say okay just say um meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonist in fiction colon you don't have to say

the colon Vee Berman so just pretend there's a colon there instead of the end okay uh meet one of the most

unforgettable new protagonist. In fiction. In fiction, Phoebe Berman. She is one month to lose her virginity before she turns 30 if her own anxiety doesn't slow her down. A charmingly authentic and heartwarming debut novel from podcaster and comedian Brooke Averick. Is it possible to find true love when going on a date makes she want to throw up? Phoebe Berman fears the one thing she wants. Phoebe Berman fears the one thing she wants the love. I'm going to kill myself. And everything that comes along with it.

I'm blaming, like, truly, there's been so many hiccups with... Thanks to an extremely unfortunate first kiss attempt, crippling intimacy, anxiety has plagued her since she was a teen. With just a month to go before she turns 30, Phoebe is still a virgin. Phoebe has so much going on.

Phoebe has so much going for a dream teaching job. There's no. Phoebe has so much going for a dream teaching job. a supportive and hilarious group of best friends and all the romance novels a girl could one at her fingers tip. Let's just call it. Let's just call it. I'm like the person you would call on

during popcorn reading just to be mean. Let's just call. No, Goodreads. Like when there's like spaces and stuff, Goodreads has been really fucking it up when we put it in. And by we, I mean, not me at all. Determined to change this, she drafts up the ultimate guide to losing my virginity checklist with the hope of finally getting laid.

Suddenly she goes from a relatively boring, basically non-existent, dating life, to juggling three romantic prospects at once. There's the gorgeous new fourth grade teacher at her school. That's Finn. A former high school classmate that resurfaces through words with friends. That's Matthew. And there will always be her roommate who might just be the best friends to love her situation of her dreams.

And that's Jonathan. Thank you. Phoebe's love life quickly takes a turn in a way she never anticipated. But between the love square, she's gotten herself into, and the stomach aches and cold sweats that surface whenever she gears up for a potential date, things are complicated. and Phoebe doesn't do complicated. Phoebe Berman's going to lose it as a brutally honest

and painfully relatable story for anyone who's ever felt stuck between the coming of age and coming apart. Well done. I like that last line. That's a good one. So thank you for reading that, Connor. That was amazing. Sorry about the hiccups. That is just the Goodreads interface can be really tricky

and I'm glad that we're catching this before we go live. Yeah. So yay. That's it. That's awesome. I'm so excited I got to say the boys' names. Yeah, that's my freaking family. That's crazy that that's literally just like you just like, right, I chose these and that's the names of the boys.

And that's it. Well, at first I had done like, I accidentally made everyone all, um, I named everyone. Do you mind if I like can't speak at all today or what? One of us has to. I'm scared. I named everyone after the characters in Glee by accident. And so I had to change like half of them. And so I changed like half of them to like Jonathan and Matthew instead.

So that's really That's the end of that sense It's very much your book At the end of the day No one will have any Check and guess is that this is your book That you wrote Yes

I think that's the moral of the story The story Let's just call it That's the moral of the story What's the difference between butter And butter made from real California dairy It's the real California farm families behind it

Real people, real care, real intention. Why? Because real matters. So whether you're pouring milk, melting cheese, or just grabbing one more spoonful of yogurt, keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk by real California farm families. Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes.

Your algorithm is feeding you cut off. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross.

Work your magic. Yeah, I wrote it. Well done. It's very exciting. Thank you, Connor. Proud of you. Coming your way soon. Yeah, I can't wait.

Get my hands on it. And my four pre-order copies will arrive and be put in my bookshelf in May 26th. It's very sweet. Thank you. I have to tell you. So I walked here from that set. Oh, yeah. Before the boys came in.

And it was two miles. But I was like, I have time. I was going to go to Trader Jouse. And I'm walking. And do you know those beetles that are everywhere in California? They're like big green beetles. They're shiny. I'm walking past this woman, a beetle, as fast and hard as a beetle could run into someone's

forehead, clonk. She, like, what was that? Did they throw, did they throw something? Because a car was, she's like, did they throw something at me? I go, no, I think it was that beetle on the ground next to you. I was like, no, they threw something at me. And I was like, it was that beetle. She's like, there was a car that drove by.

She thought the car threw something at her, completely distraught. It was right out here I'm standing with her in this neighborhood Now it looks like I've punched This woman in the face I feel bad for her I can't imagine

Those beetles are heavy They look like a golf ball Like it got clonked She I heard the noise Her head was hollow Like I don't think there was a It Pops her ass

Ooh I'm surprised She wasn't more disturbed About like the beetle feature No she was really thinking That was a hate crime Yeah Yeah She thought it was a drive by

Like someone Someone threw a rock at her On the way by Yeah Damn. Damn. That's my whole So that's the podcast

For today That's the only thing That's happening You got in this early this morning Yeah And you didn't sleep No I did not You're coming from Austin

I came from Austin I was in Austin yesterday So the last time I talked to you I was going to Austin And now I'm talking to you today Just a mere 34 hours later The way time moves in the studio It's like such a Schrodinger

What? Froste I said that normally Did she? I said Is it Schrodinger or Schrodinger? It's Schrodinger. Schrodinger.

Schrodinger. No, Schrodinger. So it's a total Schrodinger's cat in this studio, always because right now we exist on, what is today? We exist on September 19th and we also exist on

September 25th. Who-ha box the studio? This comes out on September 25th, no? Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh, you're right. Yeah. Okay, so, okay, I see what you're saying. But also we don't exist in any of those dates.

When you watch the podcast on another day. Okay, I've been running into so many of people that are listening to old podcast episodes. And they're like, look, I'm listening to this one. Like, we love NATO or whatever. Remember that one? Yeah, I do. And I'm like, that's shocking that you're looking at me and you're talking to someone who just learned about NATO. You're looking at me and you're talking to someone who just learned.

And I've grown so much since I learned about NATO. Hey, tell us what NATO is. National Honor Society. National Merit Scholar. The episode of Sweet Life, Zach and Cody, where Zach Everard makes a cameo. No, I don't know what is NATO again? National. No.

Listen to me speak. National Association. It's not national because it's everybody. Oh my God, this is bad. North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Exactly. Are we even in NATO? Yes, in a big way.

So we're North Atlantic, huh? But what about California? California's Pacific. Is there a Nipto? It would be like a U.S. Like it's not a state-by-state entry. Opportunity. Oh, this is not okay.

So is Canada in it? In Mexico? Okay, we have to stop. Wait, I just really quickly want to say that the summer I turned pretty finale came out the other day. Were you as distraught as everybody else in the world? You know it's not distraught like distraught.

You know it's not distraught like negative connotation, right? It's like an amazing, it's an amazing thing to be distraught about. It's like an amazing distraught. It's like only bought this dress so you could take it off vibes. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm just in my head right now is nothing but only bought this dress so you could take it off. What does that mean? It's a song by Taylor Swift that was playing during an amazing scene.

What was the scene? Do you think, I mean, y'all have had to watch it by now because it's like September 25th today and it came out. Yeah, if you're still planning on watching TSIPT. It was the belly and Conrad sex scene. It was amazing. They have sex? Well, yeah, I guess they cut when they're about to do that, but it was a lot of kissing.

Why don't this was a teenager movie? Sometimes it is and sometimes it's like, oh my God. that's like yeah no they were kissing wait are the two young men are they both married in real life yeah just the one he has a serious girlfriend I've been thinking about her a lot I've been thinking about her a lot younger than us well how old are they younger he's Chris Brianie is

who Chris Brianne is 27 he's born on March 24th that's my mom's birthday Oh, La Tong is 22. She's 22, yeah. She is like the most gorgeous woman that I've ever seen in my life. She's really pretty. It's amazing. But yeah.

So I'm thinking a lot about the finale. What are you, what is your call? Wait, click on, can I see Chris Brine's fiancee? You know her? Isabel Machado? Yeah, I want, is it that surfer? No, it's not. Never mind.

No, she's not another show. I think she's an actress as well. Oh, okay. Chris Briney is a chameleon. Also he's doing this. No, Quinn, which is this like audio erotica app. And they have, stop making that face. I'm doing Chris Briney face.

They have gotten like such big names like Andrew Scott and Tom Blythe. And now Christopher Briney is doing one. And it's a story about two brothers that want the same girl. And it's like audio erotic. Does that make sense? Horny. Like it's very, very, very horny. And I'll be listening to it in my quid and headphones.

I just bought the book, Moby Dick. Why? Like, why are you doing this to yourself? Because I want to be reading literature that Ernest Hemingway wrote. Well, you're going to be miserable and he didn't write that. I know, but that vibe. Like, I want to be able to have more conversations about Moby Dick. Okay.

Read the spark. I think reading the spark notes would be better. No, I want to hold that. old ass huge book about a whale and I want to read it and I want to digest it. Okay. And you know what? That's fiction. That's a fiction book.

It is. What did Moby do? Do not spoil this book for me. I was planning on reading it this week. I do want to know what happens though. Wait, can you type in Moby Dick please? Don't spoil for me. I need to know what happens.

What do you think is when they go inside the whale. No, but no, Moby Dick was an evil whale. which you would never expect a whale to be evil Moby Dick is an 1851 novel by Herman Melville. His leg. Okay, Captain Ahab's obsessive quest for revenge against a white whale that took his leg set against the backdrop of 19th century whaling.

Hmm. It's considered one of the greatest American novels, Brooke. That's... Yeah. It's notable for its epic scope, so... Yeah. And there's symbolism. Captain Ahab is a very...

very frequent crossword answer. So I know that. I know about him. I know a pretty good bit about him. Captain Ahab? Yeah. Including, but not limited to his name. I was so good in English class about finding symbolism.

Really? Yeah. I was not. I was so good at being like, that's a symbol. Yeah, that's a symbol. I'm kind of just like, just tell me. No, I kind of like reading into things and making them a bigger issue than they are. Yeah. I get that. Did you ever have to do marginalia? What's that? We had to like write all of the

possible symbols on the like title page of the book and then write the page number that they all appeared on. So we would have like our own table of contents in English class. Like in like Ketra in the Rye every time it was like innocence or like whatever would come up. We would have to catalog each time a theme came up in the front of our book. And it was. kind of fun. You had your own table of contents and it was so easy to write papers. Wow, that's really smart. It was really smart. No, we didn't do that because I went to public school. I feel like public school can do marginalia too. Public school kind of focuses more on, um, what did we learn? Alamo. I mean, yeah, we did learn the Alamo.

It was so good to be back in Texas for a second. Yeah. Did your parents come to your show? They did. Do you love that? Yeah, it was really fun. They stayed in Austin. It's a game day weekend. Oh. But I'm back here in God's country today. What will you do this weekend while you're here? I don't know. Will I see you?

Yeah, probably. Okay. I have no plans. Oh. Yeah. Maybe we could get a bite to eat. I could eat. I don't want to, I have food poisoning, so I'm not.

I could not eat right now. You had a gun to my own. No, I am very sick. It gets better. I'm reading a book that I would love for you. to read and it's kind of like Moby Dick. What's it about? It's called, it's tough because I can't say one of the words in the title, no matter how

hard I try. Marginalia? No, the house and the cerulean sea, but I don't know if cerulean is the right pronunciation. That was the right. Is it? It is so fabulous. It's about, it's my, it's the Brookshelf pick of the month, which is still going on, by the way, guys on Fable.

We have a ton of fun over there. It's about this, like, it's fantasy, but not like high fantasy at all, kind of like magical realism. And there's these like magic kids that have to be like registered to the government and they all like live at like their own respective orphanages. And the book is about a caseworker who like goes and make sure that everything's like up and running at the orphanages. And it's kind of like series of unfortunate event's vibes is which I feel like you would like. I love series of unfortunate events. Yeah, I feel like you would like it. And these kids are warming my heart in a way that it's never been warmed before.

He, Linus, the caseworker, is going to the Surreliancey where there's like an orphanage that is like very like classified. No one's really ever heard of it because they're like very. Don't yawn because of all yawn. No, don't yawn. I'm talking about a very interesting book right now. Yeah. And they're like very classified magical children because it's like, whoa, they're. powers are so crazy. For example, one of them is the Antichrist. And he's a six-year-old little boy

who uses a booster seat. His name's Lucy short for Lucifer. How adorable is that? And then there's this like... What is his power? He's just the Antichrist. I know what is his power. I'm kind of still learning what his power is. It's like so much. I bet he is too. Yeah, exactly. But like, don't judge a book by his cover. Like, yeah, he's the Antichrist, but he's a kid at the end of the day. And it's very, it's very sweet. And there's also this like little monster blob. who just has, his dream is becoming a bellhop. And I cry every time I read about his hopes and dreams. He grew up learning that he should be a monster that scares people and hides under the bed.

And he learned that he can be so much more and he wants to be a bellhop. And you told me this book is kind of like Moby Dick. Because there's the ocean. I just like every time I read about Chauncey wanting to be a bellhop. Tansi's a great name. Yeah. Nope. New bump.

I think you might like the book. I'm really enjoying it. Who are you? It's a cozy book, which is perfect for September. Oh my gosh. Wake me up when September ends. That is in my Phoebe playlist.

Why? I don't care. I'll talk about my playlist now too. I can talk about whatever I want now. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. It's in my Phoebe playlist. September's a rough month for Phoebe.

Is it a rough month or is it the most amazing month? Or can it be both? Because no last two? Yeah. Oh my gosh, the mariachi like brought back my Spanish from my school. You're completely fluent. What the? Yeah.

So. No, we have to do questions now. Let's just get some questions. That's a really cute picture of you. Sorry, narcissist. Let's pause you up, but I need to look at this. Just showing me a picture of himself smiling ear to ear. Wait, oh my God, I didn't mention.

When I was having food poisoning in the restroom earlier, that's a very pretty picture of you too, Connor. Mr. Fantasy responded to my comment on his latest video. I said, Happy Friday, Mr. Fantasy, and he said, happy birthday, Brooke. And yes, he does respond to other people,

but he doesn't use their full government names, like he did mine. Brooke? Yeah. He also follows only 11 people and they're all James Franco fan accounts, which, like, makes sense for Mr. Fantasy.

Okay, here's a question from someone, a listener. Oh. I love him. KJ. App is ripped. Yeah. It's insane. I don't like this at all That was me at the airport this morning

I sat in the massage chair That is what I looked like And I fell asleep Like had to wake up at 3.30 Go to the airport I fell asleep in the massage chair I almost missed the flight Could you imagine I go all the way to the airport

330 a morning I fell asleep in the massage I'm in love with Mr. Fantasy He's so funny That looks like Where we are right now But something doesn't make sense about KJ

like what why would someone that looks like you have this kind of personality a lot of money no like usually like hot people that are that hot it's like less of a personality because they weren't forced to develop one like what happened to him that made him so unique in an amazing way he has it all he's the man who has it all he's a child no he is younger than us probably he has a child oh yeah he's a father he's a papa yeah yeah how old is kj nice oh m g my birthday is one day after his and he probably knew that when he wished me happy birthday wow i am a year and a i'm less than wait shit i am i'm less than a year older than him we will be the same age for one day and that will be so hot it's exciting for you yeah is he Australian

New Zealander Oh is a Kiwi Okay I'm gonna do some questions from listeners Okay So here's the first one Someone asked How do I not feel insecure when How do I not feel insecure when my friends

Are getting married and having kids? And I'm not Brooke what is your answer? The grass is genuinely always greener Because I know that there are people That are having babies and getting married And they're like I'm jealous of my single friend

truly and I would rather be single for longer in my youth and that's the end of the sentence I'm obviously just convincing myself of this by the way well said I think that's good um I don't think there's a way to feel not feel insecure when you're it depends I guess it depends on where you live if you're in the south and literally every single one of your friends is married and has kids it's just like why do I feel 11 it is like we did get so so lucky. My therapist was actually telling me this that like we have so many single friends because that's not typically the case. I know. Like none of my friends from home are single, but like the fact that everyone in LA or my whole group, your whole group is in New York is single.

Like we got so lucky. That's what I'm, it's just, it's location dependent. Yeah, because it must be a lonely feeling and I'm very sorry to the young woman or man experiencing that. Must be horrible. Holy shit. Yikes. I can't imagine. Yeah. Um, okay, I don't know why I screenchied some of these. Okay. I have some too. Okay, go out. You do it.

You do one. What's the most unhinged conspiracy theory that you believe? What's yours? I do believe in the like active lobotomies for the Nickelodeon. That's like so insane. And I know that you keep bringing that up, but you do truly believe that. I do. Like, I think it's so sinister.

I think that like big Disney and big Nickelodeon are so sinister and did something. really bad. Okay. Should I say that? Yeah, it's fine. Okay. Like, Nickelodeon's not going to come to your house and, I mean. You literally don't know.

But they're not going to say, like, you're not like, with St. Nick. You're not like actively seeking out. And I'm not saying that it's the current Nickelodeon administration. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that these are things that happened in the past, I think. That's my conspiracy theory that I believe. I'll believe anything anyone says to me at any point.

So if anyone has, one. What's a good one that I could believe? Anyone have one? Conspiracy theories? How many people are in this room? Oh, oh my gosh. I forgot there was, okay. Um, I think that there are secrets that the government has that they won't tell us. Yeah. Like project, what is that called? Project X. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Is it weird to date someone with the same first name as your sibling? I, that's, we were talking about this the other day like that's a like good he's perfect in every way situation oh wait we already did this if he's perfect in every way then like it's fine it's not ideal right but like that's not a reason to not move forward with someone manager burps all day

I can hear an office away with the door closed he drinks four pepsies a day and that's it like just unloading on us um I have actually gotten to a point in my life where I used to feel like so unoffended by burps. And now I'm like, that's kind of gross. Really? Yeah. I mean, it's not cool, especially like it, especially like if you're sitting in a workplace, you're like locked in and then you hear like a belch from your coworker.

I actually do think like a soda burp is not that gross to me. But like a food burp is disgusting. That's like a belch. A belch is disgusting. Wow, Brooke. I didn't expect you to ever say that a belch is disgusting. Yeah. But I don't mind like.

soda burps because it's like that's from the bubbles but if it's from like food that's pretty gross because that's the same as a fart it's just coming out of your mouth if my boss was farting four times in a row I would go to HR that see that's funny it's like not funny that he's burping but if he was farting all day

that's really funny farting all day I one time in my apartment that didn't even share a wall with the other building heard someone burp and there was no I was in a standalone apartment.

Remember the apartment that I had that was over that garage? How would I know your apartment that was over a garage? Because you lived here and I lived here? Oh, that you had. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the one that you lived in. Yeah.

Oh, the one I lived in with my neighborhood. Yes. died. Yes. I thought you're talking about before I moved here. Mm-mm. So I was like a standalone apartment not touching any walls. The building next door, someone burped in their house, and I heard it in my room.

And I laughed, and they said, excuse me. And we never, ever, ever had any other interaction besides that. Did you, like, know what they looked like or what kind of person they were? That's cute. But I know that they're a good person based on them apologizing for burping. Yeah. Or as they said, excuse me. I was like, that's very polite.

Yeah. I would have just not ever acknowledged it. I laughed because I was like, was that a burp? Like, I just burped. I burped too. Last night, I bent down to talk to this older gentleman and, As I bent down, it was like an accordion, like, pushing out of burp. And it went into the mic.

I have it on video. Hang on. It was bad, you guys. Wait, was that the burp or was that the reenactment of the burp? No, that was a burp, y'all. Whoa. But that wasn't a belch. I think I'm struggling to understand the difference.

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within the first six months of card membership. Terms apply, learn more at go.mx slash graphite. Okay, what are your four favorite movies? Can I say something really quick? Yeah. I'm having one of those days where like I'm about to have a breakdown. Like everything is like I'm so close. I was in Trader Joe's and it was bringing up the most heavy emotional feelings for me.

Like I haven't been in a Trader Joe's in so long because I actually actively avoid them now. Do you think like you're having some sort of like I miss L.A.? Nervous breakdown? That's why I sent you a Snapchat and said I don't think I'll ever be happy. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I was wondering about that. Yeah, but it was also weird.

I was walking the two miles to get here. You know, I didn't walk a, I didn't pass a single other person. No, I didn't know that. No one was walking. And then I was having that feeling like, am I the last person alive? Yeah. On earth? Anyways, I'm in Trader Joe's and I was just like, over well.

I saw the peanut butter filled pretzel bites and I almost broke it down. I almost fell to my knees. Thank God. Thank God for my turkey sweet potato wrap that I locked up. with because if not that I would have been did you eat that in addition to your salad I walk yeah I walked here eating it nice they're so good and they're always a little bit wet and that's what I like about it everyone's like you have to eat that up I'm like I like that it's wet I love a wet I love one thing I like soggy things a lot of the time I love soggy yeah I love cold food you do love cold food but I was having

one of those days where here's a top here's a top couple things that will make you on days when you are about to kill yourself, these things happen. One, your wired headphones get caught on the door handle and rip out of your ears. Two, you go to wash your hands and you use the lotion and not the soap. I do that here a lot.

Yeah. Three, you drop your phone in between your car console and your seat. And there's a water bottle around somewhere. I just roll around. Oh, yeah. Oh, damn. That'll be like,

Ended all vibes. It's like what is going? Like that's your rock bottom will happen when you get a divorce. You lose the kids. The market crashes. Your house is foreclosed. And then you'll wash your hands with lotion instead of soap. And that is that is rock bottom.

Yeah. But you know the good thing about rock bottom. It's only up from here. You do have to push through. Like what I was telling the kids the other day. when I was on set this morning they go, you have a baby, right? I go, pardon?

You have a newborn. Who was asking him? Pardon? My wig handler. Oh, the wig handler? Yeah. He made all the wigs for hunger games. Whoa.

And he's making my wig. Wow. What an honor. I know. He was saying, do you have a baby? You have a newborn? I saw you have a newborn. And I was like, I don't have a new.

And he goes, but you're married. I go, No. You're putting a wig on my head right now. I'm not married. I don't have a kid. And then I go, did you guys actually hire me? Because I don't think you got the right guy.

He liked you. He is married. Don't matter. It is a speed bump, not a stop sign. I agree. A lot of people do. A lot of people do. I don't agree, but I agree that for a lot of people it is.

If you found the love of your life married. I was married or he was married? Both. Both. You're not both. Do both circumstances. They're married. You're married.

You're both married. Go. I mean, I'd love to think that I wouldn't. I would not. I really firmly believe with my whole heart and chest that I would never cheat. I really do believe that. That's something that's very firm about. You wouldn't cheat on your lover.

Yes. I would not. Okay. But what if the love of your life? I don't think I, I think I would like be so sick over that. Unless it was a circumstance where like he was literally like being abused by her. And I would be like, let me take the pain away. What?

Like if it were a situation where I didn't feel bad. Like that would be a situation where I don't feel bad for the other woman if she's a horrible person. Let me take the pain away. Yeah. Does that make sense? Stop looking at me. What are you in Advil? Yeah.

What do you mean? Okay. Like I wouldn't feel bad if she was a bad person. If it was an abusive relationship and you could step in and be like mama? Well, not like I don't like when you say it like that. I don't like the way either of us described it in the situation. I'm not understanding. I'm trying to understand.

I want to go back in time. Okay. Basically what I'm trying to say is that if she was a horrible person, then I could maybe convince myself to feel better about it, even though it would still be shitty. that you're a homewrecker yeah okay we're and then

we're both being married you're homeracking to a means to an end yeah obviously I'm not gonna if I'm fall in love of the guy and he's married to like just a sweet woman

I would I would not touch the situation but if she's evil it's like okay you snooze you lose chump what is going on in this series

Is it like weirdly quiet to you guys? No, I'm very worried about you and the way that you're sweating. I'm drenched. You want water? No, I'm okay. I'm chugging this one. I did have a moment. You ever have one of those moments where you're like, oh my God, I'm about to pass out?

Yeah. You've had a few. I've had two. Yeah. I'm worried. No, it's okay. You gotta go to work, you know? La boo-boo.

Oh. Oh my. God, champ, what are your four favorite movies, Champion? Oh, my gosh. Am I sweating so bad that I need to put my hat on? Oh, my God. I can start with mine. Is that helpful?

Yeah, do it. We've done this, but maybe they've changed. You listed yours? I have mine in a list. Okay. Okay, thank you, Champion. Twilight? Super bad.

Sorry, it's a very long list I'm picking out my top four. Diolite, Super Bad, it's complicated, and the Princess Diaries. I want to watch The Princess Diaries. You love that scene. Is it hot or cold? Cold, cold. Cold. That's a huge thing of ice cream, of Genovian ice cream.

I need to go to Genovia. The soundtrack of Princess Diaries 2. What is that accent that you're doing? Just my voice. Oh. The soundtrack of Princess Diaries 2, break away. That's not her voice. Swear to God, born with it.

The soundtrack of Princess Diaries, too. Why are you doing that? Am I imagining that? Whoa. Okay, go ahead. I'm not under the influence of anything, if anyone's wondering. I'm just so tired. It's amazing.

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson was written for it. Really? Yeah. And because you live by Jesse McCartney is his most underrated piece. Because you live, girl, my world. You know it? Has twice as many stars. I think Dumb and Dumber has the best soundtrack known to man.

You know I've not seen Dumb and Dumber. Someone said they have Misfomnia because of the way I sing and talk about Broadway. they've developed misophonia. It sounds like they just don't like the podcast. They don't like me. They were like, I'm really struggling. My misophonia really acts up when Brooke starts to sing and talk about Broadway. Like, baby, you just don't like me.

Oh. That's not misnifony. I'm burping into the mic and eating my salad. That was killing me. So now whenever I'm annoying, my friends tell me that their misnifony is acting up. Lordy Judy. Someone added. I asked, moved in with my best friend and her boyfriend and we all hooked up.

Should we tell our fourth friend? Wait, I'm so sorry. I don't know. Wait, what are your favorite movies? Oh. Dumb and Dumber. Titanic, Dumb and Dumber. Fools gold.

Fools gold. Thank you. Lilo and Sitch, OG. Nice. No, 51st dates. Nice. Yeah. So I moved, our third friend moved in with us.

They all hooked up. Wait, this is 40. I need to swap one of those for this is 40. Okay, start over. Dumb and dumber. This is 40 Titanic Fools Gold. We're like about to be 40. And I remember watching that being like, they're so old.

And now I'll be 40 like tomorrow. Happy birthday, bring the Marriachi boys back in. Happy birthday, Brooke, dash Mr. Fantasy. They come in. They're all 60. Like we all aged in this studio of 20 years. Ooh. So a couple,

third friend moved in with a couple they became a truple no they're just all hooking up oh there weren't a couple to be gone off they're run a couple they're all hana okay should we tell the fourth friend

yeah more than marry get in your chump see where you fit get in your chumpy slip and slide right in yeah like it no has to

yeah tell the fourth friend God, yeah. Everyone's invited. Genuinely, yeah, tell the fourth friend. Because at the bare minimum, it's funny. Also, you moved in with your friends and you just started fucking them? Fine to do. You're allowed to do that. You are completely allowed to do that if you want.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so like, no hesitation, no pause, tell your fourth friend, invite the fourth friend over. Yeah. Maybe make a fifth friend. Unless you don't want them to join. Or but like tell them because it's funny It is funny Yeah

What are you digging for? My hydroflask Okay Is that new? Rich Whoa Tastes weird How did I whistle out of my bottom teeth

Wow you really The book money must be coming in I'm extremely rich New Ovalah Yeah I'm extremely rich And my dad's extremely rich too Separately

You're rich dad Wait why were your dad so rich There was a Reddit thread about that too How did he be Kennedy come into all his money? I don't remember What people said Wait did he have a boat or was that something that we would rift off of No he had a boat

Did someone say he had a boat? Yeah Okay They were all on his boat No I think we made that up okay Yeah Your dad is so rich Okay Um

Um Um Um What do I What do I do if my roommate of three years has been copying me To the point of Copying? Copying?

Oh To the point of food Like buying It gets to a point Food is where I draw the line Like just like buying the same food as you? No sorry. I don't know

I think about I'm kind of self-conscious about that sometimes because I copy cat a lot. And I'm always like, do she get mad of me? What do you copy cat as? Like every time cat buys something, I'm like, I need that. I guess she's just an influencer at her core.

Yeah. Copping has never bothered me. I will be like, you're copying me. Period. And that's it. I fear I'm a skip hop. I'm feeling, I fear I'm a skip and a hop from becoming a fem cell. I don't know where to go from here.

What's a fim cell? I guess an in-cell, but a girl. I know an in cell. Probably just like someone who's really active on the Reddit snark pages. That's what I would imagine a femme cell to be. But like in cell is like basement dweller like troll, right? And so a fem cell who is their target? Because I think I think of like tearing down other women.

Interesting. But like in cell men. I think incel is like, I didn't know it was gendered. And so. I think it's just. implied. That it's a weird man. Yeah.

I didn't know. Have you ever seen that? It's like a documentary or like a little series on TikTok of like just like interviewing this guy who identifies as an insal and he's so scary. Oh, Brooke. The term fim cell refers to a subculture of women who feel frustrated and isolated by their inability to find romantic or sexual partner despite their desire for one. Can't relate. So cool. Okay, cool.

So what? Why is it, why is that the term? Oh, female involuntary, celibate. Involuntarily celibate. Like horny as F. Oh, yeah. Horny as crud, but unable to do anything about it.

Completely horny as a chump. Horny is a chump But rendered absolutely helpless Oh shoot Okay How to embrace being divorced at 28 After the worst divorce And thinking you found the love of your life

Well you are You beat everyone else You're 28 Got that out of the way Yeah one down What's next Come on give it to me How do I shave my back

You can't How do you shave your bed? That's like sucks because like you need a partner for that. But like if your back is so hairy, how will you get one? Vicious cycle. Oh my God. You got to hire somebody. You got to get someone back there.

Not to say that no one will not be. Not to say that you can't find a partner with your extremely hairy back. It just might make it more difficult sometimes. Not to say with that forest on your back, you won't find love. There's a chance. Lumberjack. Okay. and

I have more okay if you guys like I understand if you unsubscribe today what has been your worst hyperfixation

of all time I don't hyper fixate that's so insane you must have at least once what would I hyperfixate on have you ever seen me hyperfixate you don't smirk at me like that

I'm thinking yeah I have on what very very lightly what like some comedians you'll have like a brief like dally and swiss yeah i can actually think of i can actually think of share it with us no i can't share it but you know how about you start to think about sharing it no is it a comedian no is it a person yes have they been on this podcast no just tell us who gives a fuck no i don't want to Connor i'll tell you after Connor no no

Mine was probably, I guess glee, because that was more like, like extreme mental, like very ill sick in a way that I like was starting to like reality was bending. The lines were blurring. I was like if I'm not in glee, like if I am not like accepted to the glee project, like there will be no point. In living? In living. Like they were like real to me. Like Rachel Berry was like a real person. There's stuff.

Like, it's, there's a whole other world out there that I am not a part of. Glee never even came across my desk. I don't even think I knew about it until post-grad. Glee, and then it trickled for me, Glee, because then with Glee, Glee, Glee started, Jonathan came from that. And then really, like, all Broadway. That's, like, when I started obsessing over it. And there were so many trickles.

Then there was, like, Star Kid, which is Darren Chris. And then, so I was just, like, it was, like, a beautiful tree of life and knowledge. You know that girl's misophonia is, like, ringing her. God, she is like ringing that poor girl. To the bells. Her ears are bleeding. Poor, poor girl.

She's on the ground writhing in pain. Poor chum. You stop talking. She's like, oh my God, I'm fine. She's it back on the ground. I'll stop talking. She's rolling around. She fell down the stairs.

Okay. Let's just. Thank you guys for listening. So sorry. Guys, we have to deal with something really important. Do you think you're sick? Yeah. Okay.

Let's, we'll talk about it in the bonus. Okay, I'm sure everyone's really excited to hear. Let's talk about how I'm sick in the bonus, and we will see you there. Thanks for listening. Sorry. Relax and let Ralph's delivery handle your grocery shopping this week. We start with only the freshest items, then review your list and carefully choose each one. Then we pack it all up and deliver it in as little as 30 minutes, so you can feel confident it's what you ordered. Fresh groceries, your way, with Ralph's delivery and pickup.

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